1 00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:22,566 You're not the boss of me! 2 00:00:32,892 --> 00:00:37,466 Whip's a jolly good fellow though his big giant feet smell-o 3 00:00:37,467 --> 00:00:40,011 You look like a monkey 4 00:00:40,012 --> 00:00:43,323 and ya smell like one too 5 00:00:43,340 --> 00:00:44,196 Hey! Unh! 6 00:00:47,738 --> 00:00:48,753 Sorry I'm late, but 7 00:00:48,754 --> 00:00:51,671 the lines at Sex Toys "r" Us were around the block! 8 00:00:51,712 --> 00:00:53,862 What'd you get me? What'd you get me, Uncle Chode? 9 00:00:54,511 --> 00:00:55,694 That isn't for you, kid. 10 00:00:55,695 --> 00:00:58,987 Just some pizza-flavored edible undies for my lady here. 11 00:00:58,988 --> 00:01:01,800 Your old uncle likes a midnight snack! 12 00:01:03,603 --> 00:01:05,640 Don't worry, kid, I didn't forget about you. 13 00:01:05,641 --> 00:01:09,976 Next door was a hobby shop, and I got you... ta-dah! 14 00:01:10,327 --> 00:01:13,643 A paint-by-numbers portrait of the teletubbies! 15 00:01:13,728 --> 00:01:16,744 It says it's for ages 3 to 7! 16 00:01:16,745 --> 00:01:20,678 I'm 16! Thanks a lot, uncle Chode. 17 00:01:21,941 --> 00:01:24,650 What? It says "hours of fun"! 18 00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:27,093 I think he'd like to think of himself as a man now. 19 00:01:27,147 --> 00:01:29,481 A man? Nah, bein' a man 20 00:01:29,482 --> 00:01:32,475 takes years of fightin' and screwin' and drinkin' and whorin', 21 00:01:32,476 --> 00:01:36,931 and fightin' a little more and then a lot more drinkin' and then more whorin', if there's time. 22 00:01:37,075 --> 00:01:40,111 That's it? That's your definition of being a man? 23 00:01:40,165 --> 00:01:41,382 Did I leave something out? 24 00:01:41,490 --> 00:01:44,165 Excuse me, you forgot to mention that a real man 25 00:01:44,166 --> 00:01:46,595 never asks for directions even if he's lost. 26 00:01:46,613 --> 00:01:47,655 Oh yeah, that too. 27 00:01:47,709 --> 00:01:48,624 Take me for example 28 00:01:48,625 --> 00:01:51,548 I've been lost for 4 days and haven't said a word. 29 00:01:51,608 --> 00:01:53,529 You da man! Heh! 30 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,815 We're lost? 31 00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:56,202 By my calculations, 32 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:58,566 we're now deep in dark clown territory. 33 00:01:58,567 --> 00:02:00,701 And you know how much Darph Bobo hates you. 34 00:02:00,998 --> 00:02:03,614 So what? He doesn't scare me! 35 00:02:03,615 --> 00:02:05,979 I'd like to see that circus freak try somethin'! 36 00:02:05,980 --> 00:02:07,914 I'd show him who's boss! 37 00:02:09,673 --> 00:02:10,971 You've got fucking Mail! 38 00:02:12,131 --> 00:02:16,676 Tired of your family treating you like a little kid? 39 00:02:17,888 --> 00:02:22,218 Itching to do something to show them you're not a child anymore? 40 00:02:23,092 --> 00:02:25,103 Then click here! 41 00:02:25,601 --> 00:02:27,537 Congratulations! 42 00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:31,162 You've just won a free pass to Teentopia! 43 00:02:31,408 --> 00:02:32,471 Sweet! 44 00:02:32,579 --> 00:02:35,308 A place where teens rule! 45 00:02:35,533 --> 00:02:38,739 And since there's no curfew in Teentopia, 46 00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:44,065 you can stay out all night, make it with adult hotties, 47 00:02:45,018 --> 00:02:47,803 or just smoke cigarettes till you puke! 48 00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:48,964 Cool! 49 00:02:49,108 --> 00:02:52,061 All you have to do to collect your free pass 50 00:02:52,062 --> 00:02:56,252 is place your hand on the screen now! 51 00:03:00,286 --> 00:03:02,305 I've been looking all over the ship 52 00:03:02,306 --> 00:03:04,219 and I can't find whip anywhere. 53 00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:07,159 Does that mean his piece of birthday cake is up for grabs? 54 00:03:07,623 --> 00:03:09,682 No, miss piggy, it does not. 55 00:03:09,794 --> 00:03:11,447 Did you check the masturbatorium? 56 00:03:13,095 --> 00:03:14,385 hmm... then where could he be? 57 00:03:18,181 --> 00:03:20,538 Hello, Chode! 58 00:03:20,625 --> 00:03:22,314 Darph Bobo. 59 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:27,927 Unless you want to see your nephew's life "melt away" 60 00:03:27,928 --> 00:03:33,109 I'd beam down to this spot immediately! 61 00:03:33,200 --> 00:03:35,643 I guess there's only one thing to do! 62 00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:37,799 Pack Whip's bags and send them to him? 63 00:03:37,827 --> 00:03:39,083 'Course not! It's not like it's you 64 00:03:39,084 --> 00:03:41,095 hangin' over that boiling vat. 65 00:03:41,096 --> 00:03:43,147 It's Whip! I'm goin' in! 66 00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:44,475 What about Darph's trap? 67 00:03:44,476 --> 00:03:48,508 Relax! I'm gonna have Bob adjust the coordinates so I'll land behind him, 68 00:03:48,509 --> 00:03:51,585 and then it'll be: "Bye-bye, Bobo!" 69 00:03:51,697 --> 00:03:54,965 So as soon as he beams on this spot, 70 00:03:54,966 --> 00:03:59,160 I'll pull this rope, which will trigger the catapult, 71 00:03:59,161 --> 00:04:04,227 launching Chode into the vat, where the melties will.. 72 00:04:23,401 --> 00:04:25,144 Hang in there, Whip! I'll save ya! 73 00:04:25,215 --> 00:04:26,975 If I were you, 74 00:04:26,976 --> 00:04:30,887 I'd be more concerned about saving yourself. 75 00:04:30,905 --> 00:04:34,678 You can talk smack all you want, you tuft-haired ball-juggler 76 00:04:34,679 --> 00:04:38,382 but this is where your clown car stops. 77 00:04:38,416 --> 00:04:39,438 Bring it. 78 00:04:44,069 --> 00:04:46,063 Where'd you learn that sansui move? 79 00:04:46,159 --> 00:04:47,524 The learning annex. 80 00:04:51,030 --> 00:04:54,461 You may have an answer to my sansui move, 81 00:04:54,478 --> 00:04:58,487 but it won't help save your nephew! 82 00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,430 Help! 83 00:05:07,923 --> 00:05:09,997 Well, look-ee here! 84 00:05:10,033 --> 00:05:13,681 Did somebody lose their precious tentacle? 85 00:05:13,682 --> 00:05:17,734 Oh, that's right! You did! 86 00:05:19,606 --> 00:05:20,800 Give it back! 87 00:05:23,378 --> 00:05:27,834 I just wish you could see how ridiculous you look now! 88 00:05:31,355 --> 00:05:32,648 I'll kill you for this. 89 00:05:32,667 --> 00:05:36,124 If I died, it'd be from laughing! 90 00:05:36,125 --> 00:05:39,551 I'm adding this baby to my collection. 91 00:05:39,552 --> 00:05:45,130 And as for your nephew, I could use the slave labor. 92 00:05:45,131 --> 00:05:49,034 Nothin' looks worse than a clown pushin' a lawnmower! 93 00:05:49,035 --> 00:05:52,244 See ya around, stubby! 94 00:05:57,408 --> 00:05:59,705 We're back! Today's show: 95 00:05:59,706 --> 00:06:04,878 "Men who have lost their tentacles and the women who pretend it doesn't matter." 96 00:06:04,879 --> 00:06:07,646 Kathy, you were saying something before we went to break. 97 00:06:07,682 --> 00:06:10,843 Well, at first I was as upset as he was. 98 00:06:10,844 --> 00:06:15,511 I mean, he used to have a tiger in his tank, you know? 99 00:06:16,914 --> 00:06:20,579 But now, well, that's just a fond memory. 100 00:06:20,615 --> 00:06:22,228 Is there an upside? 101 00:06:22,429 --> 00:06:25,522 Well, I'll tell you, he's great around the house. 102 00:06:25,523 --> 00:06:30,802 No more sports on the tv! Instead, it's cooking, dusting and shoe-shopping. 103 00:06:30,803 --> 00:06:33,434 Oh, and he's so open with his feelings now. 104 00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:35,307 It's just like havin' a best girlfriend. 105 00:06:35,308 --> 00:06:39,367 We just gab,... gab, you know, about nothin' for hours! 106 00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:42,663 It sounds like it's all quality time now. 107 00:06:42,664 --> 00:06:44,383 Good for both of you! 108 00:06:46,648 --> 00:06:47,690 Who is it? 109 00:06:47,744 --> 00:06:49,797 It's me. Can I come in? 110 00:06:50,296 --> 00:06:53,151 No! No, I'm-- I'm naked! 111 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,767 You're always naked! 112 00:06:54,857 --> 00:06:57,417 Uh... just let me... 113 00:06:57,418 --> 00:06:58,214 What is it? 114 00:06:58,304 --> 00:07:00,495 I just wanted to see if you were hungry. 115 00:07:00,496 --> 00:07:02,319 I could bring you a salad or something. 116 00:07:02,377 --> 00:07:04,040 A salad? Why? 117 00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:06,147 Because girls eat salads? 118 00:07:06,148 --> 00:07:10,184 Why didn't you ask me if I wanted something more manly, like a steak? 119 00:07:10,220 --> 00:07:12,393 Ok, baby, whatever you want. 120 00:07:12,394 --> 00:07:15,927 I'll bring you a nice, rare steak. 121 00:07:16,298 --> 00:07:18,777 With all that blood and everything? 122 00:07:18,778 --> 00:07:21,007 I mean, I'm not really hungry. 123 00:07:23,439 --> 00:07:26,216 If everyone would just shut up! 124 00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:28,472 One at a time! 125 00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:33,233 I can't switch the computer out of porn mode without Chode's access codes, 126 00:07:33,234 --> 00:07:37,719 so none of the bills are being paid. He refuses to return any of my emails, 127 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:41,975 and if I may speak candidly, I think he lost more than just one of his tentacles. 128 00:07:42,029 --> 00:07:46,167 Well, I'm gonna try to say what I have to say without being unkind. 129 00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:49,855 Chode's become a useless 3-tentacled freak! 130 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:52,886 T'nuk! I can't believe you just said that. 131 00:07:52,971 --> 00:07:56,079 You're right, I shouldn't sugar-coat it. 132 00:07:56,155 --> 00:07:57,673 Can't you be more positive? 133 00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:02,395 I'm positive he's a useless 3-tentacled freak? 134 00:08:02,600 --> 00:08:06,084 More importantly, somebody needs to make decisions, 135 00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:08,327 and since I'm chief engineer... 136 00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:12,445 Oh no! Not so fast, tinkerbell! 137 00:08:12,446 --> 00:08:16,702 As part owner of this ship, which none of you are, 138 00:08:16,703 --> 00:08:21,540 I have certain rights. If Chode is taking a little hiatus, 139 00:08:21,541 --> 00:08:26,494 then captain T'Nuk is gonna run the show, understand? 140 00:08:27,476 --> 00:08:30,709 There's gonna be some big changes 'round here, 141 00:08:30,710 --> 00:08:33,252 so you better get used to it! 142 00:08:43,558 --> 00:08:46,230 Excuse me, uh, when do we eat around here? 143 00:08:46,290 --> 00:08:49,170 We eat all the time. 144 00:08:49,451 --> 00:08:52,025 No, I meant me! When do I eat? 145 00:08:52,087 --> 00:08:54,816 When you're finished your work, silly boy. 146 00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:57,255 I'm not a monster, you know? 147 00:08:57,327 --> 00:09:00,550 Good! I just finished scrubbing every inch of this floor. 148 00:09:00,551 --> 00:09:01,930 The work's done. 149 00:09:02,002 --> 00:09:03,761 Not that work! 150 00:09:04,258 --> 00:09:05,588 This work! 151 00:09:07,011 --> 00:09:08,035 But... but... 152 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:11,261 Silence! Nobody questions me! 153 00:09:11,262 --> 00:09:14,158 I'm the one that runs things around here, 154 00:09:14,212 --> 00:09:16,489 and what I say goes! 155 00:09:16,561 --> 00:09:21,061 I am the absolute lord of this domain! 156 00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:22,815 Darph! 157 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,206 What is it, Bernice? 158 00:09:26,296 --> 00:09:28,462 Come up here this instant 159 00:09:28,463 --> 00:09:31,774 and pick up your dirty underwear off the bedroom floor 160 00:09:31,775 --> 00:09:35,533 before I throw 'em into the street and you with 'em! 161 00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:37,886 Coming, dear! Bitch! 162 00:09:37,958 --> 00:09:41,280 What did you just say? 163 00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:47,866 I said bitch! There, was that loud enough for ya? 164 00:09:49,569 --> 00:09:51,185 Always remember, kid, 165 00:09:51,186 --> 00:09:54,818 honesty is the key to a good relationship. 166 00:09:54,819 --> 00:09:58,129 Now get back to work! 167 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:03,963 Captain T'Nuk's log. Star date, 168 00:10:03,964 --> 00:10:07,343 the first day of the rest of my life. 169 00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:11,406 I'm lovin' this! I was born to run a ship! 170 00:10:11,407 --> 00:10:14,095 Sure, the crew resents me right now, 171 00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:18,313 but they'll grow to love me, and see me for the kind, patient 172 00:10:18,314 --> 00:10:21,548 and noble captain that I truly am. 173 00:10:22,379 --> 00:10:24,521 What is it, dirt bag? 174 00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,337 Your lunch, captain. 175 00:10:26,338 --> 00:10:30,431 Filet of dover sole with a light bйarnaise sauce, exactly as you requested. 176 00:10:31,192 --> 00:10:32,994 Where are the capers? 177 00:10:34,392 --> 00:10:36,521 I thought they clashed with the bйarnaise. 178 00:10:36,618 --> 00:10:39,716 How dare you undermine my authority! 179 00:10:41,147 --> 00:10:45,566 Ooh! I'll gladly make you another... captain bly. 180 00:10:45,620 --> 00:10:47,893 I can't take much more of this. She must be stopped! 181 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:51,018 I agree! The captain's gotta snap out of it. 182 00:10:51,019 --> 00:10:52,423 We should be looking for Whip! 183 00:10:52,513 --> 00:10:55,404 Well, why don't you put that french maid's uniform to good use 184 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,030 and make him feel like a man again, hmm? 185 00:10:58,427 --> 00:11:00,288 You read my mind. 186 00:11:00,646 --> 00:11:05,619 That's what I need! A hot little convertible hovercraft to show the babes I still got it! 187 00:11:07,094 --> 00:11:07,921 Six? 188 00:11:08,244 --> 00:11:11,260 The maid always has a key. 189 00:11:11,261 --> 00:11:15,639 I thought you might have a knob that needs polishing. 190 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:18,908 You mean, you're not repulsed by me? 191 00:11:18,962 --> 00:11:23,208 Baby, are you kidding? You're still 100% man to me! 192 00:11:23,209 --> 00:11:25,913 Nothing about you could ever turn me off! 193 00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:30,947 It doesn't matter. 194 00:11:31,443 --> 00:11:32,467 Go away! 195 00:11:32,488 --> 00:11:35,905 Chode, Whip needs you, the ship needs you, 196 00:11:35,906 --> 00:11:40,153 we all need you! It's time to put an end to all this self-pity! 197 00:11:40,570 --> 00:11:45,021 Grrr... go! Get out! Leave me alone! 198 00:11:46,255 --> 00:11:52,471 She's right. It's time to put an end to all this. Goodbye, Jupiter 42. 199 00:11:53,536 --> 00:11:54,932 You've got fucking mail 200 00:11:55,975 --> 00:11:58,371 Uncle Chode, are you there? 201 00:11:58,372 --> 00:12:01,396 I'm on Darph Bobo's home computer. 202 00:12:01,397 --> 00:12:05,186 If he catches me, he'll kill me! Please come get me, Uncle Chode. 203 00:12:05,187 --> 00:12:08,300 Darph Bobo says you're too chicken to ever show your face again. 204 00:12:08,301 --> 00:12:13,499 But I don't believe him. You'd never leave me here to rot, not you! 205 00:12:13,713 --> 00:12:16,732 What am I gonna do? The kid's depending on me. 206 00:12:20,362 --> 00:12:22,463 Ah! Freak or no freak, 207 00:12:22,464 --> 00:12:25,328 I'm not givin' in to that grease-painted balloon blower. 208 00:12:25,329 --> 00:12:28,774 That clown is goin' down! 209 00:12:28,838 --> 00:12:32,412 Bob, set a course for Revlonius 5. 210 00:12:32,413 --> 00:12:33,828 I need some mascara. 211 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,181 Shouldn't we look for whip? 212 00:12:35,286 --> 00:12:40,329 You just can't stand the idea of a woman being captain, can you? 213 00:12:40,457 --> 00:12:45,123 No, I just can't stand the idea of you being captain! 214 00:12:45,470 --> 00:12:47,094 Are you drunk? 215 00:12:47,159 --> 00:12:49,855 Not drunk enough! I can still hear your voice. 216 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:52,351 That's it! You're so fired! 217 00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:55,335 Bob, you just got your job back. 218 00:12:55,408 --> 00:12:56,270 Captain! 219 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:59,345 Oh, I never thought I'd be so glad to see your face. 220 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,787 Uh, m-m-me too! Yeah, 221 00:13:02,788 --> 00:13:05,315 J- just keepin' it warm for ya. 222 00:13:05,405 --> 00:13:09,731 Bob, trace the coordinates of the email I just got from Whip and set a course for it. 223 00:13:10,129 --> 00:13:11,481 Aye aye, sir! 224 00:13:11,788 --> 00:13:15,244 And, Bob, after that, put up a pot of black coffee. 225 00:13:28,443 --> 00:13:32,735 My husband won't be back for hours. 226 00:13:32,736 --> 00:13:36,056 Would you unzip me? 227 00:13:36,453 --> 00:13:38,872 Uh, sure. I guess it'd be all right. 228 00:13:42,265 --> 00:13:44,528 When you're through with that, 229 00:13:44,529 --> 00:13:47,455 there's some more trash over here. 230 00:13:47,562 --> 00:13:50,832 You shouldn't talk about yourself like that, Mrs. Bobo. 231 00:13:50,904 --> 00:13:54,760 I wasn't! I meant there was another trash basket over here! 232 00:13:55,217 --> 00:14:01,877 But now that you mention it, mmm, wanna clown around? 233 00:14:02,316 --> 00:14:04,755 Are you trying to seduce me, Mrs. Bobo? 234 00:14:04,851 --> 00:14:08,499 Do you wanna be seduced, Benjamin? 235 00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:10,549 Uh, my name's Whip. 236 00:14:10,621 --> 00:14:14,794 But you look like a Benjamin. 237 00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,949 Uh, lady, I'm just a kid! 238 00:14:16,950 --> 00:14:19,157 You must be at least 40 years older than me! 239 00:14:19,247 --> 00:14:21,149 40 years older than you? 240 00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:22,891 39 years older than me? 241 00:14:23,227 --> 00:14:26,136 That's better! 242 00:14:26,137 --> 00:14:29,836 You're a sweet talker when ya wanna be. 243 00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:32,460 I'm all yours! 244 00:14:32,532 --> 00:14:33,995 Bernice? 245 00:14:34,107 --> 00:14:37,160 My husband! Get outta here, ya little pervert! 246 00:14:37,161 --> 00:14:39,157 I'm a married woman! 247 00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,126 Um, captain, this arrived for you earlier today. 248 00:14:43,792 --> 00:14:47,024 The tentacle club for men? Oh! Yeah, 249 00:14:47,025 --> 00:14:49,118 I ordered this in my darkest hour. 250 00:14:49,119 --> 00:14:50,955 Besides it was only $9.99. 251 00:14:50,956 --> 00:14:52,546 You can't go wrong at that price. 252 00:14:52,582 --> 00:14:53,434 Wanna bet? 253 00:14:53,516 --> 00:14:54,682 Ah, what the hell! 254 00:14:54,683 --> 00:14:57,757 I already spent the money. Let's see what we got. 255 00:14:57,935 --> 00:15:00,279 Hi! I'm Rick Dan. 256 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:04,608 You probably remember me from extreme: Volcano. 257 00:15:04,609 --> 00:15:08,970 After one of my tentacles burned off in the lava immunity challenge, 258 00:15:08,971 --> 00:15:15,798 boy, was I depressed! once I got airlifted home, I tried to cover myunsightly blemish with hats, 259 00:15:15,799 --> 00:15:21,802 hats and more hats, but none of them made me feel like a complete man again. 260 00:15:21,803 --> 00:15:24,059 Women stayed away from me 261 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,557 and I felt like a real failure. 262 00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:31,570 Then I joined tentacle club for men, and my life changed. 263 00:15:31,571 --> 00:15:36,251 Now I play sports, have sex with multiple partners, 264 00:15:36,252 --> 00:15:41,523 even swim, thanks to the kit that you have in your hand. 265 00:15:41,524 --> 00:15:45,183 And by the way, I'm not just a client anymore, 266 00:15:45,184 --> 00:15:49,404 I'm the president of the tentacle club for men. 267 00:15:49,475 --> 00:15:51,546 Well, what do you think? 268 00:15:51,709 --> 00:15:52,364 Huh? 269 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,249 Uh... 270 00:15:53,327 --> 00:15:55,295 I can't even tell which one is fake. 271 00:15:55,324 --> 00:15:56,790 Me neither. 272 00:15:57,065 --> 00:15:58,599 You're not just sayin' that? 273 00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,875 Oh no! Absolutely not! 274 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:04,075 Good! Then I'm gonna wear it when I meet up with Darph Bobo. 275 00:16:04,076 --> 00:16:07,374 I'd like to see the look on his face when he sees me like this. 276 00:16:07,441 --> 00:16:10,144 Yeah, he won't believe his eyes. 277 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:15,672 This is a terrible idea! They'll spot us as fakes in a second... 278 00:16:15,788 --> 00:16:18,472 Hello! You must be here for the orgy! 279 00:16:18,605 --> 00:16:19,537 Beg pardon? 280 00:16:19,622 --> 00:16:23,864 That's exactly why we're here! Bring on the clown coochie! 281 00:16:23,940 --> 00:16:26,193 Well, it's right this way. 282 00:16:39,354 --> 00:16:40,331 Hey, come back! 283 00:16:40,413 --> 00:16:42,228 This place is freakin' me out! 284 00:16:42,229 --> 00:16:44,910 It's Kubrick meets Fellini meets Ringling Brothers! 285 00:16:45,145 --> 00:16:47,560 Look! There it is! It's m... 286 00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:49,847 Now, I think the most important thing here 287 00:16:49,848 --> 00:16:51,824 is not to attract any attention. 288 00:16:51,825 --> 00:16:54,403 Chode? Chode? 289 00:16:56,209 --> 00:16:58,652 And this is Cher's head. 290 00:16:58,653 --> 00:17:03,054 When she announced another comeback after the last "farewell" tour, 291 00:17:03,055 --> 00:17:08,224 what choice did my great-...-great-grandfather have? 292 00:17:08,225 --> 00:17:12,062 But wait till you see my newest piece! Huh? 293 00:17:12,849 --> 00:17:16,183 Excuse me, but you look familiar! 294 00:17:16,721 --> 00:17:19,297 We've never met before! 295 00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:23,609 He's Sissy the Clown and I'm Horny... the Clown. 296 00:17:26,731 --> 00:17:30,138 That's not the secret clown handshake. 297 00:17:31,369 --> 00:17:33,968 Um, the clown guild voted to change it. 298 00:17:33,969 --> 00:17:35,427 You must have missed that meeting. 299 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:38,984 Really! Well, I can't make every meeting. 300 00:17:38,985 --> 00:17:41,548 I mean, you should see my day planner! 301 00:17:41,549 --> 00:17:44,730 It's unreal! Wait a minute! 302 00:17:44,731 --> 00:17:47,522 There is no clown guild! 303 00:17:50,259 --> 00:17:52,841 Hello, Chode! 304 00:17:52,842 --> 00:17:54,719 Are you wearing a rug? 305 00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,092 I most certainly am not! 306 00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,436 Dear god, no! 307 00:18:06,744 --> 00:18:11,446 The sideshow-freak orgy is next door! 308 00:18:13,938 --> 00:18:16,104 Uncle Chode, I knew you'd come! 309 00:18:16,131 --> 00:18:19,097 That doesn't mean you're going anywhere! 310 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:23,270 Your uncle's just here to play a little game I like to call 311 00:18:23,271 --> 00:18:26,166 "pin the tentacle on the gimp!" 312 00:18:35,913 --> 00:18:39,403 That's what you think, you turd-munchin' clownbag! 313 00:18:41,258 --> 00:18:45,786 You realize you're not leaving here alive, don't you? 314 00:18:46,341 --> 00:18:49,028 Maybe... maybe not! 315 00:18:49,029 --> 00:18:54,818 But I know one thing, I'm not afraid of some fat-assed drag queen with lopsided hair! 316 00:18:56,620 --> 00:18:59,795 My hair! My beautiful hair! 317 00:19:02,331 --> 00:19:05,585 You'll pay for that, you purple prick! 318 00:19:11,797 --> 00:19:15,075 Pay? There's no charge for this haircut. 319 00:19:17,079 --> 00:19:19,791 Now who's the sideshow freak? 320 00:19:29,690 --> 00:19:32,490 Bob, lock on this signal and beam us up now! 321 00:19:37,922 --> 00:19:41,805 You know, Whip. That crappy paint thing was way off. 322 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,426 I guess I didn't realize how grownup you are, 323 00:19:44,427 --> 00:19:47,251 and how much bein' treated like a man meant to you. 324 00:19:47,252 --> 00:19:51,034 So for your 16th birthday I got ya... 325 00:19:51,035 --> 00:19:53,909 14 cases of cigarettes, 10 cases of booze 326 00:19:53,910 --> 00:19:59,060 and a gift certificate for two weeks at the ride 'em cowboy bimbo ranch! 327 00:19:59,794 --> 00:20:01,104 Wow! 328 00:20:02,814 --> 00:20:07,157 Do you wanna be seduced? I'm all yours! 329 00:20:11,003 --> 00:20:14,752 You know what? I don't think I'm ready for all that just yet. 330 00:20:14,753 --> 00:20:17,436 I think I'll give bein' a teenager a little more time. 331 00:20:17,511 --> 00:20:20,377 What? He didn't get that from my side of the family. 332 00:20:21,569 --> 00:20:25,861 You're right, kid. Whores, booze and cigarettes aren't what they're cracked up to be... 333 00:20:25,862 --> 00:20:27,825 Unless you have to go a day without 'em! 334 00:20:27,826 --> 00:20:29,690 Bob, let 'er rip! 335 00:20:30,173 --> 00:20:32,890 Darph, are you ever coming to bed? 336 00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:34,162 Coming, dear! 337 00:20:35,654 --> 00:20:39,621 Why do you have cotton candy sticking out from both sides of your head? 338 00:20:39,721 --> 00:20:42,587 It's not cotton candy! 339 00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:45,089 It's the clown hair club for men. 340 00:20:45,090 --> 00:20:48,074 You're not supposed to be able to tell the difference! 341 00:20:48,174 --> 00:20:50,640 Yeah? Well, you know what? 342 00:20:50,641 --> 00:20:53,514 I just got the worst headache! 343 00:20:53,515 --> 00:20:57,119 You can sleep in the guest room tonight, pinky! 344 00:20:59,833 --> 00:21:04,483 Damn you, Chode! You'll pay for this!