1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:01:39,891 --> 00:01:42,726 For 400 years, Yu Putuan remains 4 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,396 the best of the top 3 banned books 5 00:01:46,981 --> 00:01:50,943 with its depictions of carnal desires 6 00:01:54,572 --> 00:01:57,991 There lived a monk in the Yuan Dynasty 7 00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,410 who always carried a sack 8 00:02:00,870 --> 00:02:03,288 Known as the Sack Monk 9 00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,875 he was well versed in Buddhist sutra 10 00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:11,046 A scholar nicknamed Wei Yang Sheng 11 00:02:11,464 --> 00:02:13,298 Was licentious by nature 12 00:02:14,008 --> 00:02:18,345 He considered celibacy unnatural 13 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:22,850 When he consulted the Sack Monk 14 00:02:23,518 --> 00:02:26,645 They got into a heated argument 15 00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:29,356 and parted on a sour note 16 00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:31,525 Sir 17 00:02:31,818 --> 00:02:34,987 Consider your current life 18 00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:38,699 If you screw someone's wife or daughter 19 00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:42,119 Someone will screw yours 20 00:02:42,203 --> 00:02:44,163 You'll get instant retribution 21 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,582 I thought with your eminence 22 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:47,958 You must be very insightful 23 00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,752 I'm disappointed with such triteness 24 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,880 If there's retribution for carnal intercourse 25 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:55,757 What if I have no wife or daughter? 26 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:57,009 Where does retribution come in? 27 00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:00,262 How about a man with few womenfolk 28 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,139 who screws many women 29 00:03:02,807 --> 00:03:04,474 Even if his kin were screwed 30 00:03:04,767 --> 00:03:07,603 He'd still come out ahead! 31 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,945 The groom kowtows to his father-in-law 32 00:03:19,657 --> 00:03:21,992 The groom offers tea 33 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,251 We must tease the bride 34 00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:33,670 Yes! We must! 35 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,424 Let's have a toast for the bride 36 00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:40,928 You must drink up! 37 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,721 Drink up! 38 00:03:46,809 --> 00:03:48,894 We're leaving! 39 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,815 Get out! 40 00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:03,492 Do you know my nickname 41 00:04:04,535 --> 00:04:06,328 is Mister Iron Gate? 42 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,373 Because I'm strict with my family 43 00:04:09,415 --> 00:04:11,583 I clamp down hard on them like a gate 44 00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:16,213 I let you be my son-in-law, because of your learning 45 00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:19,508 Whether you travel or be an official 46 00:04:19,884 --> 00:04:23,929 You have nothing to worry about 47 00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,973 This is precisely the reason 48 00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:27,891 With you watching his wife 49 00:04:28,226 --> 00:04:30,978 he won't get retribution! 50 00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,101 Sex is the most pleasurable thing 51 00:05:12,937 --> 00:05:14,604 It'll hurt the first time 52 00:05:15,106 --> 00:05:16,481 But I'll be gentle 53 00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:19,693 You'll learn to enjoy it 54 00:05:29,412 --> 00:05:34,499 Sex is the most shameful thing 55 00:05:35,668 --> 00:05:37,461 Since it is stipulated by etiquette 56 00:05:38,296 --> 00:05:39,838 I will perform my duty 57 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,425 But I know it'll hurt 58 00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:47,763 please hurry and spare me the agony! 59 00:05:50,975 --> 00:05:52,142 This is anaesthetic 60 00:05:52,602 --> 00:05:54,811 Put some on for me to ease the pain 61 00:05:56,105 --> 00:05:57,230 This is pain killer 62 00:05:57,523 --> 00:06:00,650 Give me some afterwards 63 00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:19,419 I'm ready! 64 00:06:51,619 --> 00:06:53,995 Hurry! What are you doing? 65 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:56,206 Don't rush me! I'm not ready! 66 00:06:56,791 --> 00:06:59,000 Why not? Just stick it inside! 67 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,545 Alright, as you wish. . . 68 00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:21,606 It hurts! 69 00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:26,486 Why did you kick me? 70 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,865 Give me the pain killer, hurry! 71 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,492 I'm not done yet! 72 00:07:32,743 --> 00:07:34,786 I've done my part 73 00:07:34,912 --> 00:07:36,288 I don't care if you're not finished! 74 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,791 But you're not even bleeding! 75 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:44,171 Says who? There's blood everywhere! 76 00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:48,842 Why is there so much blood? 77 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,011 There's blood on my ring! 78 00:07:52,096 --> 00:07:56,099 You must have cut your dick with it! 79 00:07:58,436 --> 00:08:00,562 I'm going to pass out. . . 80 00:08:13,284 --> 00:08:15,535 My pain killer 81 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,120 Give me the pain killer 82 00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:23,793 I told you this is filthy 83 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,983 This is a genuine Zhao Meng Fu! 84 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,487 Read it after fasting and ablution 85 00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:59,913 This is disgusting! 86 00:09:00,164 --> 00:09:02,666 It's passed down from our forefathers 87 00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,752 depicting the process of copulation 88 00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:07,128 It's no big deal! 89 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:37,576 Don't... 90 00:09:38,035 --> 00:09:39,578 Quit the act. . . 91 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:46,167 You used to hate sex 92 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:50,964 Last night you wouldn't let go of me! 93 00:09:51,716 --> 00:09:54,092 I want. . . 94 00:09:57,555 --> 00:10:00,390 You're so naughty! 95 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,517 Don't laugh at me! 96 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,894 No! 97 00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:24,599 Wonderful! 98 00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:58,800 You're the famous cat burglar Sai Kunlun? 99 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,051 Pardon me. . . 100 00:12:00,469 --> 00:12:03,763 I'm an honorable man 101 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,349 I pick my targets carefully 102 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:08,768 Not the poor 103 00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,186 Not those holding a funeral 104 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:11,730 Not those hosting a banquet 105 00:12:12,314 --> 00:12:13,481 Not those I've stolen from before 106 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,860 No one I know 107 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:20,363 Strangers want to get to know me 108 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,031 Or fawn upon me 109 00:12:22,491 --> 00:12:25,702 It's hard to find a target these days 110 00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:27,162 Now we've become like old friends 111 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:28,705 I don't mind telling you the truth 112 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,750 I'm supposed to pursue my studies 113 00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:33,293 But I'm actually courting women 114 00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:35,253 Since you can break into anyone's house 115 00:12:35,629 --> 00:12:37,046 You can help me find my prey 116 00:12:37,131 --> 00:12:39,340 Damn! I'm late! Bye! 117 00:12:40,676 --> 00:12:42,302 I really want to come with you! 118 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:44,804 He's weird! 119 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:47,682 Did he pick your pocket? 120 00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:49,642 It's here! 121 00:12:51,437 --> 00:12:52,812 Is it empty? 122 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:56,149 No, but he left me stones! 123 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:02,947 I found your target! 124 00:13:09,079 --> 00:13:10,371 Big enough tits for you? 125 00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:25,261 Yes! Keep up the good work! 126 00:13:34,855 --> 00:13:37,273 Miss... 127 00:13:49,411 --> 00:13:50,620 Are you alright? 128 00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:56,543 Miss...did you drop this? 129 00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:01,631 - No! - Take another look! 130 00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,521 Shame on you! 131 00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,301 Here's your money and 1 0% interest 132 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:18,012 Master Sai. . . 133 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,813 With your ability 134 00:18:27,981 --> 00:18:29,732 you can help me with women 135 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,110 Help me break into their chambers 136 00:18:33,070 --> 00:18:35,071 If you help make my wish come true 137 00:18:35,823 --> 00:18:39,325 I'm willing to pay you generously 138 00:18:40,035 --> 00:18:44,247 It's risky to seduce someone's wife 139 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:49,710 You may succeed initially 140 00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:54,132 But you'll eventually get dumped 141 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,718 With my looks and talents? 142 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,556 If you really want me to help you 143 00:19:02,057 --> 00:19:06,769 tell me how big is your dick? 144 00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,607 About this. . . 145 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,986 When you screw a woman 146 00:19:15,070 --> 00:19:16,571 can you last half a joss stick? 147 00:19:16,697 --> 00:19:17,864 No problem! 148 00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:20,867 With aphrodisiac, I can last longer! 149 00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:24,912 There's a silk shop in the west end 150 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,582 The owner's wife is your cup of tea 151 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,167 Go take a look! 152 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:30,459 Just to look? 153 00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:34,005 - Maybe there's action! - Great! 154 00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:39,362 What was that noise? 155 00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,614 I tripped and fell down! 156 00:20:43,450 --> 00:20:44,742 Did you rip the fabric? 157 00:20:45,744 --> 00:20:46,494 No! 158 00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:47,912 No? 159 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:49,455 No! 160 00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:53,209 - Eat! - Sure! 161 00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,224 Why is there no fish tonight? 162 00:21:09,601 --> 00:21:10,851 There's none in the market! 163 00:21:11,436 --> 00:21:15,606 Not one fish in the entire market? 164 00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:26,325 No! Just not the kind you like! 165 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,579 Speak clearly! 166 00:21:31,123 --> 00:21:33,958 Listen carefully before you answer me! 167 00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:36,294 Did you rip the fabric when you fell? 168 00:21:38,422 --> 00:21:39,005 Yes! 169 00:21:39,339 --> 00:21:42,341 Then you deserve a beating! 170 00:22:15,792 --> 00:22:17,084 I never said I won't do it! 171 00:22:17,753 --> 00:22:19,545 I just want to eat first! 172 00:22:24,134 --> 00:22:25,259 Are you done? 173 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,055 Yes, thanks! 174 00:22:29,556 --> 00:22:30,556 Get over here! 175 00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:34,685 Come here! 176 00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:41,609 Hurry! 177 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:41,956 What are you doing? 178 00:25:42,707 --> 00:25:44,291 Let you broaden your horizon! 179 00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:48,087 Her husband can last 3 joss sticks! 180 00:25:48,171 --> 00:25:50,464 But you can only last half a joss stick 181 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,883 Look how big his dick is! 182 00:25:53,051 --> 00:25:55,636 You may brag all you want 183 00:26:01,476 --> 00:26:04,645 But yours is tiny 184 00:26:05,188 --> 00:26:08,107 It's best used as a tooth pick! 185 00:26:10,360 --> 00:26:12,820 This is for over estimating your ability 186 00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:15,030 in seducing someone else's wife! 187 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:19,243 This is for your stupidity 188 00:26:19,578 --> 00:26:21,328 I'm not a lecher 189 00:26:21,413 --> 00:26:22,746 Yet you want me help you 190 00:26:23,164 --> 00:26:25,833 Do you think I'm a pimp? 191 00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:30,462 You're right about slapping me 192 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,090 But I still need your help! 193 00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:35,926 You have character! 194 00:26:36,303 --> 00:26:39,972 Unless your dick is long like a horse's 195 00:26:41,558 --> 00:26:45,060 Master Sai. . . 196 00:27:14,883 --> 00:27:18,469 We've been apart for a month 197 00:27:19,220 --> 00:27:22,348 I feel lonely and sad 198 00:27:25,935 --> 00:27:30,606 I miss your hugs, kisses, screws 199 00:27:31,274 --> 00:27:35,361 My vagina feels itchy like bugs bite 200 00:27:51,336 --> 00:27:56,507 Do you know how this letter is written? 201 00:27:57,425 --> 00:27:59,802 It is written with ink 202 00:28:00,011 --> 00:28:02,096 mixed with my secretion 203 00:29:29,601 --> 00:29:32,102 Get me a knife! 204 00:29:36,191 --> 00:29:38,442 Why am I plagued with such a small dick? 205 00:29:39,486 --> 00:29:40,944 How I crave for a few more inches! 206 00:29:47,952 --> 00:29:51,955 You gave me looks and talents 207 00:29:52,415 --> 00:29:55,000 But you screwed me on the vital part! 208 00:29:57,587 --> 00:30:01,799 Damn! I'll cut you off! 209 00:30:02,550 --> 00:30:04,092 No, master! Don't! 210 00:30:04,135 --> 00:30:06,053 - Go away! - Don't 211 00:30:12,435 --> 00:30:14,228 Blood! My God! 212 00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:17,147 Did it come off? 213 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:20,234 Not quite, why? 214 00:30:21,110 --> 00:30:22,194 Why what? 215 00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:24,071 Why is yours bigger than mine? 216 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:25,989 Why? 217 00:30:26,449 --> 00:30:29,117 I don't know! Ask my mom! 218 00:30:29,828 --> 00:30:32,246 - No, Master! - I'm asking you why? 219 00:30:42,090 --> 00:30:43,382 What's gong on? 220 00:30:43,550 --> 00:30:44,716 See for yourself! 221 00:30:45,385 --> 00:30:48,887 Closed! Doctor Ye on vacation 222 00:30:50,598 --> 00:30:56,854 I'm dead! 223 00:31:01,609 --> 00:31:03,986 Specialized in broken limbs 224 00:31:04,070 --> 00:31:07,573 Tian Can Zi is open for business 225 00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,383 I'm looking for Tian Can Zi 226 00:31:29,804 --> 00:31:31,179 - Please tell me... - Say no more! 227 00:31:36,102 --> 00:31:38,520 The wound is caused by a blunt knife 228 00:31:38,980 --> 00:31:40,981 about 2 joss sticks' time ago! 229 00:31:42,150 --> 00:31:44,151 You cut the vein, not the arteries 230 00:31:44,152 --> 00:31:45,819 I can cure you now 231 00:31:46,154 --> 00:31:49,531 You'll recover in 1 5 days, 20 taels in advance 232 00:31:54,537 --> 00:31:56,246 You have incredible skills 233 00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:57,915 It's such an eye opener 234 00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:02,085 Coaptation is my family trade for 7 generations 235 00:32:02,670 --> 00:32:03,921 Until my father 236 00:32:04,047 --> 00:32:05,297 with a stroke of luck 237 00:32:05,673 --> 00:32:08,425 found part of Hua Tuo's manual 238 00:32:09,052 --> 00:32:12,679 and learnt about surgery 239 00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:15,474 I've studied my father's work 240 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:16,934 and branched out into transplants 241 00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:20,562 especially for sexual organs 242 00:32:21,189 --> 00:32:24,566 Transplanting an animal organ to human 243 00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:26,860 And make them man enough 244 00:32:27,153 --> 00:32:28,779 I'll be rich and famous 245 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:30,405 Have you succeeded? 246 00:32:31,658 --> 00:32:34,076 I have mastered the basic techniques 247 00:32:34,786 --> 00:32:37,579 - Please give me a dog's dick! - All right! 248 00:32:38,206 --> 00:32:38,956 Quiet! 249 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:40,374 I don't mean you! 250 00:32:40,458 --> 00:32:42,167 Yours is too small, I won't use it! 251 00:32:42,627 --> 00:32:43,585 What about an elephant? 252 00:32:44,087 --> 00:32:47,172 That's too big! 253 00:32:48,216 --> 00:32:50,592 It'll be like having 3 legs! 254 00:32:51,552 --> 00:32:53,845 How about a horse? 255 00:32:54,055 --> 00:32:55,138 Sai Kunlun promised to help 256 00:32:55,181 --> 00:32:57,224 if my dick is long like a horse's! 257 00:32:57,684 --> 00:32:59,434 Get me a horse's dick! 258 00:33:02,563 --> 00:33:05,148 A scholar should not talk like that 259 00:33:06,401 --> 00:33:07,818 Pardon me! 260 00:33:07,944 --> 00:33:11,363 You must hurry if you need a transplant 261 00:33:11,406 --> 00:33:12,447 I'll be leaving in a few days 262 00:33:12,490 --> 00:33:14,116 By then, it'll be too late! 263 00:33:22,667 --> 00:33:24,793 Burn some joss sticks! 264 00:33:26,045 --> 00:33:28,630 May Master Hua Tuo watch over us 265 00:33:28,715 --> 00:33:30,674 Bless us with a successful operation! 266 00:33:31,050 --> 00:33:33,051 Please undress! 267 00:33:48,234 --> 00:33:50,777 It better not rain tonight 268 00:33:53,906 --> 00:33:55,032 We'll start around 3 a.m. 269 00:33:55,867 --> 00:33:57,200 Why wait till then? 270 00:33:57,452 --> 00:33:58,910 All sexual organs, human or beast 271 00:33:58,995 --> 00:34:01,288 are most excitable before dawn! 272 00:34:01,831 --> 00:34:03,915 If we operate at this hour 273 00:34:04,208 --> 00:34:06,293 we'll get the best result! 274 00:34:07,211 --> 00:34:09,755 Horses get excited when they see red 275 00:34:10,048 --> 00:34:11,214 Here we go! 276 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:17,304 This is the anaesthetic 277 00:34:17,764 --> 00:34:19,181 After you drink it 278 00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,515 You'll feel nothing below the waist 279 00:34:21,809 --> 00:34:24,061 Give the wine to the horse! 280 00:34:26,481 --> 00:34:28,732 I said give this to the horse! 281 00:34:29,150 --> 00:34:31,610 Why wine and not anaesthetic? 282 00:34:31,819 --> 00:34:35,280 Anaesthetics have no effect on horses 283 00:34:35,406 --> 00:34:37,115 We'll intoxicate it with wine! 284 00:34:37,492 --> 00:34:38,950 Leave the last gulp! 285 00:34:46,584 --> 00:34:48,543 What is this? 286 00:34:49,128 --> 00:34:51,546 I learnt this from foreign books 287 00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:54,591 It's called a guillotine 288 00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:56,760 I made a small one for this operation 289 00:34:56,969 --> 00:34:58,970 Quite an investment. Let me show you! 290 00:35:04,393 --> 00:35:05,477 Not bad? 291 00:35:06,646 --> 00:35:07,604 It shrunk! 292 00:35:11,025 --> 00:35:12,567 Don't be scared! 293 00:35:13,152 --> 00:35:14,069 I'm not! 294 00:35:14,153 --> 00:35:15,821 I just saw a rat! 295 00:35:16,072 --> 00:35:17,405 I'm afraid of rats! 296 00:35:18,282 --> 00:35:20,659 - I'm afraid of the rain! - Why 297 00:35:20,910 --> 00:35:23,829 On a rainy night when I was little 298 00:35:24,622 --> 00:35:25,580 I saw with my own eyes 299 00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:27,374 my mom raped and killed 300 00:35:28,209 --> 00:35:29,960 Since then, on rainy nights 301 00:35:30,044 --> 00:35:31,795 Especially with thunder and lightning 302 00:35:32,505 --> 00:35:38,009 I'll get extremely emotional... 303 00:35:38,052 --> 00:35:39,469 Doctor. . . 304 00:35:40,596 --> 00:35:41,888 It'll be dawn soon 305 00:35:43,516 --> 00:35:45,058 Hold this, kid! 306 00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:46,601 Put the bottle over there 307 00:35:47,562 --> 00:35:50,522 We start before the first joss stick burns out 308 00:35:50,815 --> 00:35:52,274 Or else it'll be useless 309 00:35:53,025 --> 00:35:54,109 What about the second one? 310 00:35:54,193 --> 00:35:56,611 We must wrap up before, the second one goes out 311 00:35:56,904 --> 00:35:57,612 Why the long face? 312 00:35:57,697 --> 00:35:59,030 Cheer up! Relax! 313 00:35:59,073 --> 00:36:00,824 I'm as relaxed as I possibly can 314 00:36:00,908 --> 00:36:06,496 Good! Let's do it! 315 00:36:07,874 --> 00:36:09,332 I've cut it off 316 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:29,811 and stopped the bleeding 317 00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:31,897 - Is it done? - Yes! Does it hurt 318 00:36:32,106 --> 00:36:33,190 No! 319 00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:38,945 You're useless, kid! 320 00:36:39,113 --> 00:36:41,865 Get up, you coward! 321 00:36:51,417 --> 00:36:52,459 What is it? 322 00:36:52,501 --> 00:36:53,376 Nothing! 323 00:36:53,544 --> 00:36:54,711 What's going on? 324 00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,339 Just continue! 325 00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:01,509 He's still sober after the whole jug! 326 00:37:01,677 --> 00:37:03,303 He can certainly hold his liquor! 327 00:37:04,931 --> 00:37:06,473 Damn! We're running out of time! 328 00:37:06,557 --> 00:37:07,515 The horse is sober 329 00:37:07,600 --> 00:37:08,975 Let's do this instead 330 00:37:09,185 --> 00:37:10,727 I'll put yours back 331 00:37:11,312 --> 00:37:12,270 And do it again later? 332 00:37:12,355 --> 00:37:13,188 No! 333 00:37:13,231 --> 00:37:14,773 It's a one-off deal! 334 00:37:14,857 --> 00:37:16,024 I won't let you! 335 00:37:17,401 --> 00:37:19,152 I told you we don't have time! 336 00:37:19,237 --> 00:37:21,696 You may die from the inflammation! 337 00:37:23,908 --> 00:37:26,117 Doggie, don't take that! 338 00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,160 Doggie! 339 00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:29,913 Give me back my dick! 340 00:37:30,373 --> 00:37:31,498 Don't! 341 00:37:31,874 --> 00:37:36,753 Give that back to me! 342 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:39,172 No! Give it back. . . 343 00:37:40,049 --> 00:37:42,259 Well? Did you get it? 344 00:37:42,635 --> 00:37:44,261 I got it back 345 00:37:46,264 --> 00:37:48,265 But this is all that's left! 346 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:52,644 I have no choice 347 00:37:52,645 --> 00:37:54,396 We'll use the kid's dick! 348 00:37:54,522 --> 00:37:55,855 What about me? 349 00:37:55,898 --> 00:37:57,649 Be a eunuch, what else? 350 00:37:57,733 --> 00:38:00,193 Forget it! I have human rights too! 351 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:01,528 You're sold as a page boy 352 00:38:01,529 --> 00:38:02,529 You have no rights 353 00:38:02,613 --> 00:38:04,030 Human rights mean only food and clothes 354 00:38:04,073 --> 00:38:05,782 Not the right to keep your dick! 355 00:38:06,158 --> 00:38:07,033 - No! - Take it out! 356 00:38:07,034 --> 00:38:08,702 - No! - Come back here! 357 00:38:08,828 --> 00:38:10,078 No! I only have a small one 358 00:38:10,162 --> 00:38:11,079 Just the same 359 00:38:15,876 --> 00:38:19,838 Hurry and fetch the basin! 360 00:38:27,555 --> 00:38:28,638 Ready. . . 361 00:38:41,152 --> 00:38:43,236 Doctor. . . 362 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:47,574 What now? 363 00:39:07,386 --> 00:39:09,512 Get up! 364 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:11,222 Get to work, kid! 365 00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:13,350 Let me help you! 366 00:39:15,227 --> 00:39:15,810 - Damn! - What now? 367 00:39:15,895 --> 00:39:18,480 Why can't I move? 368 00:39:18,606 --> 00:39:19,898 I broke the jar of anaesthetic 369 00:39:19,940 --> 00:39:21,274 and poured it all over you! 370 00:39:21,942 --> 00:39:23,526 Fetch me that bottle of licorice root 371 00:39:23,819 --> 00:39:24,944 Bring the basin as well! 372 00:39:26,947 --> 00:39:28,031 Pour it on my hands! 373 00:39:32,161 --> 00:39:33,119 Well? 374 00:39:35,623 --> 00:39:36,581 Nothing! 375 00:39:39,585 --> 00:39:40,043 Can't move! 376 00:39:40,127 --> 00:39:40,919 That's trouble! 377 00:39:41,003 --> 00:39:42,212 Can't move! 378 00:39:42,630 --> 00:39:43,922 How long does it take? 379 00:39:44,006 --> 00:39:45,882 At least half a joss stick's time 380 00:39:47,760 --> 00:39:49,094 The joss stick is burning out! 381 00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:51,930 No! I'm doomed! 382 00:39:52,223 --> 00:39:54,808 Destiny! 383 00:40:06,362 --> 00:40:08,071 You can move! 384 00:40:08,614 --> 00:40:10,949 Master, he can move! 385 00:40:11,867 --> 00:40:14,702 Stop! Don't strangle him! 386 00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:16,746 Let go! 387 00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:33,054 What kind of wine is this? Taste good! 388 00:40:37,476 --> 00:40:39,477 The rain has stopped! Get back to work! 389 00:40:46,777 --> 00:40:48,445 No sex in the next 1 00 days 390 00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:51,364 or else you'll be impotent! 391 00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:00,957 Buddy! 392 00:41:01,375 --> 00:41:02,750 You sent for me 393 00:41:03,252 --> 00:41:04,461 and challenged me to a duel 394 00:41:04,670 --> 00:41:05,587 Here I am 395 00:41:05,963 --> 00:41:08,506 I'll lend you my blade. Come on! 396 00:41:09,258 --> 00:41:11,509 That's just an excuse to lure you here 397 00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:13,761 I wish to repay your kindness! 398 00:41:14,763 --> 00:41:15,847 Are you being sarcastic? 399 00:41:16,682 --> 00:41:19,058 No! You're a man of your word 400 00:41:19,643 --> 00:41:21,895 That's right! 401 00:41:22,855 --> 00:41:25,607 When you lectured me 402 00:41:25,691 --> 00:41:26,941 what was the last thing you said? 403 00:41:29,028 --> 00:41:32,947 I'll give you a good beating 404 00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:33,948 No! 405 00:41:34,825 --> 00:41:36,117 Any tips? 406 00:41:37,161 --> 00:41:38,286 Something to do with horses! 407 00:41:38,412 --> 00:41:40,830 - Horse racing? - No! 408 00:41:43,709 --> 00:41:47,587 Horse's dick! You have one? 409 00:41:48,839 --> 00:41:50,215 Boy! Sound the gong! 410 00:41:52,510 --> 00:41:56,763 Damn! You can't fool me with that rod! 411 00:42:00,100 --> 00:42:01,851 It looks like a horse's dick 412 00:42:02,811 --> 00:42:06,105 But that can't be real! 413 00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,736 It's real! 414 00:42:13,197 --> 00:42:14,697 There's a scar at the base 415 00:42:14,782 --> 00:42:19,118 It also has a different skin color 416 00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:22,580 How did you do it? 417 00:42:22,748 --> 00:42:24,249 You have a discerning eye 418 00:42:24,750 --> 00:42:26,918 This is a genuine horse dick 419 00:42:27,044 --> 00:42:28,962 I met a surgeon who transplanted it! 420 00:42:30,089 --> 00:42:33,716 You have guts, my friend! 421 00:42:33,926 --> 00:42:35,426 I admire you. . . 422 00:42:36,303 --> 00:42:38,304 Get it up! Show me! 423 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:39,597 No problem! 424 00:42:54,655 --> 00:42:57,490 Give him a hand, kid! 425 00:43:11,422 --> 00:43:13,464 Use your mouth! 426 00:43:25,686 --> 00:43:27,687 You went through hell for this? 427 00:43:27,771 --> 00:43:29,522 You're finished, pal! 428 00:43:30,524 --> 00:43:33,401 I wish I can help! 429 00:43:35,237 --> 00:43:37,822 It's useless! 430 00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:41,409 Save your breath, kid! 431 00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:49,000 Before it rots 432 00:43:49,084 --> 00:43:50,501 you better cut if off! 433 00:43:51,128 --> 00:43:55,256 Or else the poison will go to your heart 434 00:43:55,883 --> 00:43:59,010 I can help you with that! 435 00:44:11,231 --> 00:44:12,690 - Come on! - Wait. . . 436 00:44:13,525 --> 00:44:15,485 Keep waving the blade 437 00:44:16,570 --> 00:44:17,570 Are you kidding? 438 00:44:17,821 --> 00:44:22,325 I feel something! Go on! 439 00:44:22,951 --> 00:44:25,036 You get excited from waving the blade? 440 00:44:25,454 --> 00:44:26,412 Yes! 441 00:44:26,705 --> 00:44:28,206 Let's try... 442 00:44:44,306 --> 00:44:45,264 Yes! 443 00:44:45,349 --> 00:44:47,308 Go on! 444 00:44:47,393 --> 00:44:50,144 Keep going! Don't stop! 445 00:45:01,156 --> 00:45:03,032 My master never told me 446 00:45:03,117 --> 00:45:05,076 this secret about the blade! 447 00:45:43,657 --> 00:45:45,992 Can I help you? 448 00:45:46,910 --> 00:45:49,829 I want white silk 449 00:45:50,122 --> 00:45:51,122 Do you have any? 450 00:45:51,331 --> 00:45:53,332 Yes! Have a seat! 451 00:46:13,312 --> 00:46:15,605 This is not white enough 452 00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:19,984 We have the whitest silk 453 00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:24,572 I see! Compared to your hands 454 00:46:24,615 --> 00:46:26,365 the silk is yellow! 455 00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:29,702 Everything is a matter of matching 456 00:46:30,454 --> 00:46:32,497 With your stunning beauty 457 00:46:32,956 --> 00:46:33,998 In my opinion 458 00:46:34,124 --> 00:46:36,959 You should marry someone with 459 00:46:37,211 --> 00:46:41,088 my good looks and talents 460 00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:49,889 If you marry a brute 461 00:46:50,474 --> 00:46:53,726 who beats you and lets you go hungry 462 00:46:54,186 --> 00:46:55,645 And makes you do strenuous work 463 00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:58,231 until your fingers bleed 464 00:46:59,525 --> 00:47:00,900 that would be like... 465 00:47:01,985 --> 00:47:04,570 A flower on a pile of cow dung 466 00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:10,034 Just like your vulgar husband 467 00:47:12,412 --> 00:47:13,621 You bastard! 468 00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:17,792 I'll kill you! 469 00:47:25,801 --> 00:47:27,718 I'm come see you again! 470 00:47:34,852 --> 00:47:35,768 Come back! 471 00:47:39,940 --> 00:47:41,607 Damn it! Are you blind? 472 00:47:41,650 --> 00:47:43,526 You stepped on my foot! 473 00:47:56,290 --> 00:47:57,206 Do you own the street? 474 00:47:57,499 --> 00:48:00,001 Sorry! It's my fault! 475 00:48:00,335 --> 00:48:03,713 I didn't see you! Sorry! 476 00:48:05,382 --> 00:48:06,424 Get lost! 477 00:48:19,354 --> 00:48:21,230 It hurts! 478 00:48:24,526 --> 00:48:25,651 I'll be gone for 1 0 days 479 00:48:26,445 --> 00:48:29,780 If I find you with another man, I'll wring your head off! 480 00:48:32,492 --> 00:48:33,701 I don't trust her 481 00:48:38,290 --> 00:48:39,415 Come in 482 00:49:10,113 --> 00:49:13,908 You have left an indelible impression 483 00:49:14,534 --> 00:49:17,328 "I feel bad about your beating by that vulgar man" 484 00:49:18,455 --> 00:49:20,206 I'm sending you medicine 485 00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:22,625 It is quite effective 486 00:49:23,627 --> 00:49:25,002 I'll drop by at midnight tonight 487 00:49:25,420 --> 00:49:27,463 with food and wine 488 00:49:28,423 --> 00:49:29,799 We can bare our souls 489 00:49:30,342 --> 00:49:32,760 and recite poetry 490 00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:34,387 Yours sincerely... 491 00:49:50,696 --> 00:49:54,448 Have pity on my lovesickness 492 00:49:59,413 --> 00:50:02,748 I'm a virtuous woman 493 00:50:03,500 --> 00:50:05,001 I'm not that casual 494 00:50:05,919 --> 00:50:08,546 I bear gifts for you 495 00:50:08,630 --> 00:50:10,047 as well as food and wine 496 00:50:10,132 --> 00:50:13,259 All I ask is a drink and a chat 497 00:50:28,316 --> 00:50:32,403 No! I can't 498 00:50:32,988 --> 00:50:34,905 I can't believe this is a coincidence! 499 00:50:35,907 --> 00:50:37,408 See for yourself! 500 00:50:47,794 --> 00:50:49,920 My husband has the key 501 00:50:57,721 --> 00:51:00,222 This is my friend Sai Kunlun 502 00:51:00,307 --> 00:51:01,849 He's a famous locksmith 503 00:54:45,573 --> 00:54:47,032 This is delicious! 504 00:54:47,117 --> 00:54:48,158 Put it down! 505 00:54:57,419 --> 00:54:58,419 Go away! 506 00:55:12,434 --> 00:55:16,061 You helped this lecher seduce my wife 507 00:55:16,438 --> 00:55:18,397 and made me a cuckold! 508 00:55:18,773 --> 00:55:21,191 I've become a laughing stock 509 00:55:21,526 --> 00:55:24,653 I can't beat you 510 00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:27,072 But have a heart! 511 00:55:27,741 --> 00:55:30,367 I'll fight back if you corner me! 512 00:55:30,869 --> 00:55:32,995 Now in front of my friends and relatives 513 00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:35,622 We must resolve this 514 00:55:39,586 --> 00:55:40,836 I don't want any trouble 515 00:55:41,671 --> 00:55:44,173 Have him give me 1 00 taels of silver 516 00:55:44,758 --> 00:55:46,800 I'll sell him my wife 517 00:55:47,010 --> 00:55:48,886 And I'll leave here for good! 518 00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:51,180 If you won't do this 519 00:55:51,514 --> 00:55:53,515 You might as well kill me! 520 00:55:53,975 --> 00:55:55,392 - Damn! - Spineless wretch! 521 00:56:10,158 --> 00:56:13,619 I'm resuming my post in the capital 522 00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:16,789 I won't have leave for at least 6 months 523 00:56:17,207 --> 00:56:19,958 I don't mind if you serve the Emperor 524 00:56:20,126 --> 00:56:22,378 You better not go whoring! 525 00:56:22,545 --> 00:56:23,754 Is that what you think of me? 526 00:56:23,838 --> 00:56:26,632 You contracted gonorrhea last time 527 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:29,259 and lied about it! 528 00:56:29,344 --> 00:56:30,552 You played me for a fool! 529 00:56:31,721 --> 00:56:33,972 I made this for you 530 00:56:34,057 --> 00:56:35,974 Wear it if you go whoring 531 00:56:36,309 --> 00:56:38,727 I'll kill you if you contract anything 532 00:56:40,522 --> 00:56:41,897 This size doesn't fit! 533 00:56:42,232 --> 00:56:44,316 This is tailor made for you 534 00:56:44,526 --> 00:56:46,110 It'll fit your dick! 535 00:56:46,694 --> 00:56:48,695 It's not that crooked! 536 00:59:36,739 --> 00:59:40,742 I know you're bisexual 537 00:59:41,953 --> 00:59:44,621 I really don't understand 538 00:59:44,706 --> 00:59:46,290 How can your husband satisfy you? 539 00:59:46,958 --> 00:59:48,917 Is his dick crooked? 540 01:00:01,764 --> 01:00:02,723 Whip me! 541 01:02:13,187 --> 01:02:15,522 What were you doing with the pen? 542 01:02:18,109 --> 01:02:19,818 Painting! 543 01:02:19,902 --> 01:02:21,945 You paint lying down? 544 01:02:24,824 --> 01:02:28,827 What's this garbage? 545 01:02:29,579 --> 01:02:30,454 It's secretion 546 01:02:31,205 --> 01:02:33,498 I mean. . .it's ink and wash 547 01:02:34,000 --> 01:02:35,208 Ink and wash? 548 01:02:37,628 --> 01:02:39,671 What's so secretive? 549 01:02:41,382 --> 01:02:43,091 Why close all the windows? 550 01:02:51,559 --> 01:02:52,726 Pornographic painting! 551 01:03:04,030 --> 01:03:05,280 This is outrageous! 552 01:03:06,949 --> 01:03:08,408 What have I taught you? 553 01:03:08,785 --> 01:03:09,910 You read this trash 554 01:03:10,203 --> 01:03:12,412 while you write this filth? 555 01:03:12,455 --> 01:03:13,580 Master! 556 01:03:13,998 --> 01:03:16,666 Where have you been? 557 01:03:17,126 --> 01:03:19,294 I brought Wang Qi to meet the mistress 558 01:03:19,462 --> 01:03:20,462 Really? 559 01:03:22,673 --> 01:03:23,507 Master 560 01:03:24,383 --> 01:03:25,300 This is the young mistress 561 01:03:25,968 --> 01:03:26,843 Hello! 562 01:03:29,055 --> 01:03:31,723 Wang Qi is the new gardener 563 01:03:32,183 --> 01:03:35,727 You're not allowed inside the chamber 564 01:03:35,895 --> 01:03:38,855 Or I'll have you locked up! 565 01:03:38,940 --> 01:03:39,940 Yes, sir! 566 01:03:40,024 --> 01:03:41,858 - Get back to work! - Yes! 567 01:03:45,404 --> 01:03:46,404 Kneel down! 568 01:03:52,078 --> 01:03:54,996 Read Zhu Zhi's Four Books on discipline 569 01:03:55,081 --> 01:03:56,456 Don't get up until you memorized it! 570 01:03:57,542 --> 01:03:58,458 You! 571 01:04:00,503 --> 01:04:03,255 You should have told me about her 572 01:04:03,881 --> 01:04:05,090 Put out your hand! 573 01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:08,343 The other one! 574 01:04:11,097 --> 01:04:12,305 You'll have to kneel too! 575 01:07:30,796 --> 01:07:31,713 Madam 576 01:07:32,882 --> 01:07:33,590 What is it? 577 01:07:33,674 --> 01:07:35,800 Your cousin is barging in 578 01:07:35,843 --> 01:07:36,676 I'm unable to stop her! 579 01:07:36,719 --> 01:07:38,553 Hide... 580 01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:40,263 Over here! 581 01:07:40,806 --> 01:07:41,848 Help me! 582 01:07:43,851 --> 01:07:45,185 Take out the calligraphy and painting 583 01:07:48,355 --> 01:07:50,315 Hurry. . . 584 01:07:56,822 --> 01:07:58,573 You haven't visited me for a long time 585 01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:06,081 Your husband is away, are you lonely? 586 01:08:12,588 --> 01:08:14,297 Why are these on the bed? 587 01:08:15,216 --> 01:08:16,841 I want to dry them under the sun 588 01:08:24,266 --> 01:08:26,893 So the trunk is empty 589 01:08:28,104 --> 01:08:29,521 There are stones inside 590 01:08:35,152 --> 01:08:39,864 We agreed to stick together through thick and thin 591 01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:41,032 Yes! 592 01:08:41,117 --> 01:08:42,909 If you have something good 593 01:08:42,952 --> 01:08:45,870 Should you share it with me? 594 01:08:46,122 --> 01:08:47,080 Yes! 595 01:08:50,501 --> 01:08:53,378 Did you come across a giant dick? 596 01:08:54,004 --> 01:08:56,673 I don't know what you're talking about 597 01:09:03,389 --> 01:09:04,806 He left last night 598 01:09:05,391 --> 01:09:06,766 You're too late! 599 01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:28,163 What kind of juice is this? 600 01:09:28,789 --> 01:09:33,126 It's still warm 601 01:10:28,140 --> 01:10:29,557 Wait on him 602 01:10:34,855 --> 01:10:35,855 Where am I? 603 01:10:36,106 --> 01:10:38,233 This room is connected to 604 01:10:38,275 --> 01:10:39,359 Rui Zhu's room next door 605 01:10:39,401 --> 01:10:40,902 Our mistress is Hua Chen 606 01:10:40,986 --> 01:10:42,278 She's Rui Zhu's cousin 607 01:10:42,696 --> 01:10:44,864 She became a widow after 2 years 608 01:10:44,990 --> 01:10:45,990 There's a rumor going on 609 01:10:46,075 --> 01:10:47,617 our master died from over indulgence 610 01:10:47,701 --> 01:10:50,787 in sexual pleasures! That's not true! 611 01:15:31,276 --> 01:15:34,111 As I know more about life 612 01:15:34,571 --> 01:15:36,781 and my husband is on the road 613 01:15:37,115 --> 01:15:39,742 My loneliness becomes unbearable 614 01:15:40,327 --> 01:15:43,162 I had an affair with Wang Qi 615 01:15:43,664 --> 01:15:45,414 And is now bearing his child 616 01:15:45,999 --> 01:15:49,418 I'm ashamed to see you 617 01:15:49,836 --> 01:15:53,339 So I must leave you 618 01:15:54,007 --> 01:15:55,758 I'll pray to Heaven 619 01:15:56,218 --> 01:15:59,637 And wish for your health and longevity 620 01:16:00,222 --> 01:16:03,474 Your unfilial daughter, Yu Xiang 621 01:16:22,744 --> 01:16:25,580 Have some tea 622 01:16:28,458 --> 01:16:30,293 I hired a palanquin for you 623 01:16:30,836 --> 01:16:32,378 So the trip won't be too difficult 624 01:16:50,939 --> 01:16:53,566 Be careful, don't make it too bumpy! 625 01:17:01,742 --> 01:17:03,659 What are you doing? 626 01:17:03,744 --> 01:17:07,413 Help me! Wang Qi! 627 01:17:07,789 --> 01:17:09,749 Wang Qi, help! 628 01:17:11,376 --> 01:17:13,294 Where are you, Wang Qi? 629 01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:15,379 Let me go! 630 01:17:24,139 --> 01:17:25,973 Who are you? What are you doing? 631 01:17:26,725 --> 01:17:31,437 I'm Gu Xian Niang 632 01:17:32,105 --> 01:17:34,607 Your husband sold you to our brothel 633 01:17:35,317 --> 01:17:37,443 Here's the contract 634 01:17:42,324 --> 01:17:47,078 Don't! I'm pregnant! 635 01:17:47,162 --> 01:17:50,039 Precisely because you're pregnant 636 01:17:50,582 --> 01:17:53,876 The herbal tea you took 637 01:17:54,127 --> 01:17:56,170 is to induce an abortion! 638 01:17:56,963 --> 01:17:58,631 The massage 639 01:17:58,715 --> 01:18:02,134 is to help you abort the baby! 640 01:18:03,804 --> 01:18:08,933 No! Let me go! Help! 641 01:18:37,337 --> 01:18:39,255 Your Majesty, the rebels are in pursuit 642 01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:44,301 The tyrant Wei Yang Sheng 643 01:18:44,386 --> 01:18:45,386 raped women 644 01:18:45,470 --> 01:18:46,554 and massacred common people 645 01:18:46,638 --> 01:18:48,597 By virtue of the mandate from Heaven 646 01:18:48,682 --> 01:18:50,558 the tyrant is sentenced to 647 01:18:50,642 --> 01:18:54,103 torture and rape until death 648 01:21:01,773 --> 01:21:04,233 No! This is too crazy! 649 01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:05,734 Tyrant! 650 01:21:06,194 --> 01:21:08,696 You took a horse's dick 651 01:21:09,406 --> 01:21:12,116 The mare will be reunited with its mate 652 01:21:17,581 --> 01:21:19,790 No! Help! 653 01:21:23,420 --> 01:21:27,631 You only focus on 2 points 654 01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:29,258 and 4 positions 655 01:21:29,968 --> 01:21:32,720 First, write with your vagina 656 01:21:33,847 --> 01:21:37,099 regardless of the size of the words 657 01:21:37,475 --> 01:21:39,476 they must appear to be written by hand 658 01:21:40,729 --> 01:21:44,648 This will train your vagina 659 01:21:46,026 --> 01:21:48,736 and your waist 660 01:21:49,863 --> 01:21:53,115 Second, practice with your tongue 661 01:21:57,037 --> 01:22:00,122 taste the gall 662 01:22:01,082 --> 01:22:06,253 If you can tolerate the bitterness 663 01:22:06,630 --> 01:22:08,088 you can overcome 664 01:22:08,131 --> 01:22:11,133 the odor from any body parts 665 01:22:16,264 --> 01:22:18,307 During this process 666 01:22:19,100 --> 01:22:21,685 your abdomen will contract 667 01:22:23,438 --> 01:22:26,690 This is a good practice 668 01:22:32,906 --> 01:22:37,493 When you accomplish all this 669 01:22:37,994 --> 01:22:41,747 You can revive your patrons 670 01:22:41,831 --> 01:22:43,415 Help them feel like a man again! 671 01:22:43,917 --> 01:22:46,669 If you possess this unique skill 672 01:22:47,379 --> 01:22:51,590 You'll be the top prostitute 673 01:23:11,569 --> 01:23:14,530 Watch your step 674 01:23:19,035 --> 01:23:20,452 I can see 675 01:23:20,912 --> 01:23:23,664 I'm not blind 676 01:23:25,166 --> 01:23:26,500 Be careful! 677 01:23:26,918 --> 01:23:29,920 They want me to give you this! 678 01:23:31,006 --> 01:23:32,881 My husband's sudden return 679 01:23:33,133 --> 01:23:34,758 forces me to part with you 680 01:23:34,926 --> 01:23:35,884 I miss you 681 01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:38,012 I'm losing appetite and sleep 682 01:23:38,304 --> 01:23:39,388 My husband tells me 683 01:23:39,556 --> 01:23:42,558 There's a famous doctor 684 01:23:42,851 --> 01:23:44,685 who can revive any man! 685 01:23:45,061 --> 01:23:47,813 Cure your imperial dick 686 01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:50,524 And when my husband leaves 687 01:23:50,859 --> 01:23:52,693 We can copulate again 688 01:23:53,069 --> 01:23:55,696 My cousin has prepared a surprise 689 01:23:56,197 --> 01:23:58,824 Your lover, Rui Zhu 690 01:24:00,035 --> 01:24:01,869 We'll visit the capital 691 01:24:02,370 --> 01:24:04,329 Would you like to come? 692 01:24:05,623 --> 01:24:06,498 I can't! 693 01:24:06,833 --> 01:24:10,210 A constable by the name of Iron Hand 694 01:24:10,295 --> 01:24:11,712 has come after me 695 01:24:12,464 --> 01:24:14,882 I must stay and challenge him to a duel 696 01:24:19,971 --> 01:24:21,513 What does the sign say? 697 01:24:22,098 --> 01:24:23,766 Chamber of Revolving Heaven 698 01:24:25,852 --> 01:24:27,853 Please come in, Master Cai 699 01:24:43,953 --> 01:24:45,037 Please sit down! 700 01:24:46,414 --> 01:24:47,498 Take your time! 701 01:25:17,362 --> 01:25:18,904 Here comes the doctor! 702 01:25:46,766 --> 01:25:49,017 This is Master Cai from Kaifeng 703 01:25:50,937 --> 01:25:52,271 How are you? 704 01:25:54,274 --> 01:25:56,066 We'll help you undress! 705 01:25:56,276 --> 01:25:57,860 Let the doctor examine you! 706 01:26:13,251 --> 01:26:15,377 He can't be my husband, he's too big! 707 01:26:26,097 --> 01:26:28,515 Well? How am I? 708 01:26:30,143 --> 01:26:31,560 You have a great gift 709 01:26:31,811 --> 01:26:33,187 But your over indulgence 710 01:26:33,521 --> 01:26:35,063 has resulted in kidney failure 711 01:26:35,773 --> 01:26:38,817 I can cure you with medicine 712 01:26:39,194 --> 01:26:40,694 You'll be well in no time 713 01:26:42,113 --> 01:26:44,364 She sounds like my wife 714 01:28:14,956 --> 01:28:15,872 This doesn't work! 715 01:28:16,457 --> 01:28:19,293 You have something incredible 716 01:28:20,461 --> 01:28:22,546 It's responding to my treatment 717 01:28:22,672 --> 01:28:24,214 But not quite 718 01:28:24,966 --> 01:28:28,302 If you wear a red scarf and try again 719 01:28:28,386 --> 01:28:30,929 I guarantee it'll work 720 01:28:31,014 --> 01:28:32,514 Red scarf? 721 01:28:32,598 --> 01:28:36,685 This is a transplant 722 01:28:37,145 --> 01:28:38,020 It used to be. . . 723 01:28:38,062 --> 01:28:39,563 ...tiny, right? 724 01:28:39,814 --> 01:28:40,731 How do you know? 725 01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:43,775 Just a wild guess! 726 01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:53,368 It's you! 727 01:28:54,662 --> 01:28:57,122 I knew when I grabbed your tits 728 01:28:57,290 --> 01:28:58,665 In this world 729 01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:01,668 Only my wife has a petite body 730 01:29:01,711 --> 01:29:03,170 and tits the size of water melons 731 01:29:07,592 --> 01:29:11,219 You bitch! I taught you the techniques 732 01:29:11,721 --> 01:29:13,347 Now you're using them 733 01:29:13,765 --> 01:29:15,432 as a prostitute! 734 01:29:23,566 --> 01:29:28,570 Don't! 735 01:29:29,906 --> 01:29:38,205 Come back! 736 01:29:38,289 --> 01:29:40,415 Sir! 737 01:29:43,669 --> 01:29:44,669 Come back! 738 01:29:46,297 --> 01:29:48,840 - Sir! - Come out, bitch 739 01:29:48,925 --> 01:29:49,841 No! 740 01:29:49,926 --> 01:29:50,967 Come on out! 741 01:29:51,052 --> 01:29:53,011 I'll strip you 742 01:29:53,513 --> 01:29:55,097 Parade you through the streets in a cage 743 01:29:55,223 --> 01:29:59,267 And bring shame to your moralist father 744 01:29:59,769 --> 01:30:00,477 Who are you? 745 01:30:01,104 --> 01:30:02,104 How dare you start trouble here? 746 01:30:02,188 --> 01:30:04,147 The commander is my patron 747 01:30:04,399 --> 01:30:05,732 She's my wife 748 01:30:06,734 --> 01:30:09,945 I'll sue you for kidnapping 749 01:30:10,321 --> 01:30:11,279 Move away! 750 01:30:11,781 --> 01:30:14,866 Qiu Yan, don't worry! 751 01:30:15,284 --> 01:30:16,743 Break in! 752 01:30:21,207 --> 01:30:26,503 Qiu Yan...you silly girl! 753 01:30:27,839 --> 01:30:30,340 Bring me a stool. . .let her down 754 01:30:37,598 --> 01:30:40,350 She's dead... 755 01:30:42,103 --> 01:30:43,186 You're in trouble! 756 01:31:11,007 --> 01:31:14,926 I know my mistakes now, Master 757 01:31:16,012 --> 01:31:17,637 I believe in retribution 758 01:31:20,308 --> 01:31:24,102 I've done many evil deeds 759 01:31:24,562 --> 01:31:28,940 I lost my hands in the duel 760 01:31:29,317 --> 01:31:32,277 I must go in hiding 761 01:31:33,946 --> 01:31:36,781 I know my mistakes 762 01:31:39,827 --> 01:31:42,412 You have returned 763 01:31:43,998 --> 01:31:45,832 Please let me stay here 764 01:31:46,292 --> 01:31:51,171 You'll be tonsured and named Wanshi 765 01:31:51,631 --> 01:31:53,173 Please take me in as well 766 01:31:53,925 --> 01:31:57,052 Face the wall and meditate 767 01:31:57,929 --> 01:31:59,221 Summon Kumeng 768 01:32:01,933 --> 01:32:05,810 Have you made peace? 769 01:32:06,395 --> 01:32:09,648 Whenever I close my eyes 770 01:32:10,233 --> 01:32:12,776 I see Yu Xiang's baby 771 01:32:13,069 --> 01:32:16,238 coming at me for revenge 772 01:32:16,572 --> 01:32:18,490 Wanshi, turn around 773 01:32:19,700 --> 01:32:21,660 Do you know each other? 774 01:32:28,334 --> 01:32:30,627 Today you get retribution for yesterday's crimes 775 01:32:31,003 --> 01:32:33,380 Tomorrow, you get retribution for today's crimes 776 01:32:34,173 --> 01:32:37,133 Love and hate perpetuate retribution 777 01:32:37,385 --> 01:32:40,220 Set aside your hatred, be your true self 778 01:32:40,596 --> 01:32:42,305 Understand?