1 00:00:06,889 --> 00:00:10,630 Well, Bundy, looks like I kicked your ass, once again. 2 00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:14,730 So you got a little lucky. How was I supposed to know that fat lady had nine 3 00:00:14,730 --> 00:00:17,310 grubby kids out in the car, all of whom you need to choose today? 4 00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:23,810 Hey, look, it has nothing to do with it. The fact is, I'm a great salesman, and 5 00:00:23,810 --> 00:00:24,810 you're not. 6 00:00:25,090 --> 00:00:26,490 I can sell sand at the beach. 7 00:00:27,150 --> 00:00:30,770 Sand at the beach? Why don't you go over to Lake Michigan and bury yourself in 8 00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:31,770 some? 9 00:00:32,689 --> 00:00:33,690 That's funny, Al. 10 00:00:34,010 --> 00:00:37,510 Hey, you remember that gorgeous model that came in and bought those dozen pair 11 00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:38,510 of thigh highs for me? 12 00:00:38,930 --> 00:00:41,470 That duck -up whore who thought I was retarded? 13 00:00:42,330 --> 00:00:43,330 That's the one. 14 00:00:43,410 --> 00:00:44,990 I'm having a dinner date with her tonight. 15 00:00:46,210 --> 00:00:47,049 Oh, yeah? 16 00:00:47,050 --> 00:00:50,810 Well, I've got a date with a beautiful redhead. And she's got a meal fit for a 17 00:00:50,810 --> 00:00:51,810 king ready for me. 18 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:14,480 What's for supper, Peg? 19 00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:15,960 I'm so hungry. 20 00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:19,440 I haven't had anything to eat for two days except for a mustard packet. 21 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,480 I didn't have time to cook. 22 00:01:21,920 --> 00:01:24,240 But there's a piece of pizza from last week in the fridge. 23 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:26,120 Just cut around the mold. 24 00:01:27,460 --> 00:01:28,720 You're too good for me. 25 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:33,660 Oh, Al. 26 00:01:33,920 --> 00:01:36,860 I don't understand why we can't go out for a nice romantic dinner. 27 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,860 Romantic dinner? Peg, are you serious? 28 00:01:40,580 --> 00:01:41,940 Romantic dinners cost money. 29 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:44,440 Only money, Al. 30 00:01:45,020 --> 00:01:47,080 Only money? Have you lost your mind? 31 00:01:48,040 --> 00:01:49,500 Yeah, I suppose you're right. 32 00:01:49,880 --> 00:01:51,740 After all, I did marry a shoe salesman. 33 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:55,320 Well, excuse me for not becoming a brain surgeon. 34 00:01:56,380 --> 00:02:00,600 I don't think flunking your GED would qualify for you to become a brain 35 00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,960 Al. That's okay. I've had it with you. 36 00:02:03,180 --> 00:02:04,180 I'm going to the bar. 37 00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:06,020 Oh, not tonight, you're not. 38 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:09,800 And why not? 39 00:02:10,350 --> 00:02:14,330 Because tonight's night you promised to have that talk with Kelly about the 40 00:02:14,330 --> 00:02:15,330 birds and the bees. 41 00:02:16,210 --> 00:02:17,490 Are you kidding me? 42 00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:22,810 Remember the other night when I cuddled with you and you screamed and begged for 43 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:23,810 me to stop? 44 00:02:24,390 --> 00:02:25,450 How could I forget? 45 00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:30,710 You promised if I'd stop you'd do anything I asked, as long as it didn't 46 00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:31,870 anything to do with sex. 47 00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:36,810 And that's when I promised to give the birds and the bees lecture to Kelly? 48 00:02:37,070 --> 00:02:38,070 You got it. 49 00:02:38,450 --> 00:02:39,750 Kelly, come down here. 50 00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:41,470 Your father wants to speak to you. 51 00:02:49,630 --> 00:02:53,110 Yeah, what's up? I have to get ready for my date with Rocky. 52 00:02:54,350 --> 00:02:56,670 Rocky? What kind of a name is that? 53 00:02:57,370 --> 00:02:58,810 I think Rocky's a cute name. 54 00:03:00,230 --> 00:03:03,370 Kelly, just how did your princely date get the name Rocky? 55 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:08,010 I think he got it when he bashed some guy's head in with a rock. 56 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:10,280 Isn't that special? 57 00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:12,480 Our daughter's got a date with a caveman. 58 00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:17,500 Actually, Dad, I heard he got his nickname when he crashed his motorcycle 59 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:19,080 got gravel stuck in his testicles. 60 00:03:20,140 --> 00:03:23,740 Aw, jeez, bud. Did you have to bring up testicles right before your mother 61 00:03:23,740 --> 00:03:24,740 serves dinner? 62 00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,540 Kelly, come here. 63 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,320 Before you leave, your father has something to say to you. 64 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:36,780 Go ahead, Al. 65 00:03:38,060 --> 00:03:39,060 Hey, Kelly. 66 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:42,540 Before you go on your date with Rocky, you have to learn about sex. 67 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,720 In the beginning, there were the birds and the bees. 68 00:03:48,240 --> 00:03:51,320 Oh, I know this entire story already. 69 00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:56,200 In biology class, they taught us never let a guy come inside of us. Big! 70 00:03:56,780 --> 00:03:58,820 Did you hear what just came out of your daughter's mouth? 71 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:02,160 I did, and I have to say, I'm a bit shocked. 72 00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:04,760 I thought girls learned that sort of stuff in gym class. 73 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:06,380 You're missing the point. 74 00:04:07,160 --> 00:04:08,420 Well, would you look at that. 75 00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:12,310 The man with the disappearing paycheck and shrinking penis has a point. 76 00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:18,470 Why does a sweet virgin -like daughter know about orgasms and other disgusting 77 00:04:18,470 --> 00:04:19,470 things? 78 00:04:19,829 --> 00:04:24,690 Oh, Al, the only disgusting thing about orgasms is I don't have them anymore, 79 00:04:24,810 --> 00:04:26,550 and you have yours in the garage. 80 00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:28,770 Ew! 81 00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:32,610 It's okay, Dad. 82 00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:34,750 I already know about sex. 83 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:37,150 I spied on Bud one night. 84 00:04:37,650 --> 00:04:38,890 And I saw him coming. 85 00:04:39,790 --> 00:04:41,210 In a paper towel. 86 00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:45,530 Bounty, the quicker picker -upper. 87 00:04:51,070 --> 00:04:52,090 Oh, hi, Marcy. 88 00:04:54,150 --> 00:04:56,190 Peg, I don't see the pizza. 89 00:04:56,550 --> 00:04:57,770 Do we have any leftovers? 90 00:04:58,510 --> 00:04:59,890 I fed them to the dog. 91 00:05:00,250 --> 00:05:01,490 So what's new, Marcy? 92 00:05:01,710 --> 00:05:05,210 I had to get out of that house. That man is driving me crazy. 93 00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:07,550 What man would that be? 94 00:05:08,510 --> 00:05:10,850 Al, she's talking about Steve. 95 00:05:11,370 --> 00:05:12,630 You call that a man? 96 00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:16,730 Just because he doesn't walk around the house all day farting and drinking beer 97 00:05:16,730 --> 00:05:18,210 doesn't mean he's not a man. 98 00:05:19,370 --> 00:05:22,970 Wow, I've never been around a man who doesn't fart all day long. 99 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:24,630 That must be heaven. 100 00:05:25,050 --> 00:05:26,670 Oh, you should try it someday. 101 00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:30,010 I mean, when you and Al split up. 102 00:05:31,050 --> 00:05:34,590 I remember when Al and I were newlyweds, just like you and Steve. 103 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,100 Life was grand. 104 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:39,080 Grand? 105 00:05:39,360 --> 00:05:43,260 I've never held a fart in for so long. I thought my ass was going to explode. 106 00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,800 Oh, that's real sweet, Al. 107 00:05:46,460 --> 00:05:47,460 I don't know. 108 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:51,380 Sometimes when I'm with Steve, he makes me really angry, and I want that 109 00:05:51,380 --> 00:05:57,080 divorce. But coming over here and seeing Al makes me realize I could have done a 110 00:05:57,080 --> 00:05:58,080 lot worse. 111 00:05:58,680 --> 00:05:59,980 Glad we could help, Marcy. 112 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,660 You know, maybe I should go home. Pour a bubble bath. 113 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:06,240 Light some candles. 114 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,380 Take a romantic bath with him. 115 00:06:08,620 --> 00:06:10,080 I thought you said you loved him. 116 00:06:11,380 --> 00:06:14,120 Al, that's what young people do. They get romantic. 117 00:06:14,940 --> 00:06:17,500 That's right, Al. You should try it before you die. 118 00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:18,780 What's the point? 119 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:22,500 Well, maybe you could rekindle some of the magic in your relationship. 120 00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:29,020 No way. The only magic in our relationship is when Al cooks some Jiffy 121 00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,020 popcorn. 122 00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:43,400 Kelly, what are you doing? 123 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:46,080 I'm not done with my birds and the bees story. 124 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,640 I'll be down in a minute, Daddy. 125 00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,340 I'm just getting something ready for my date. 126 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:16,760 a call tonight. 127 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:54,960 party tomorrow night. 128 00:15:55,060 --> 00:15:56,060 Bye. 129 00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:59,360 Did I ever tell you how much I hate Steve and Marcy? 130 00:16:00,260 --> 00:16:02,060 Hey, Al, what's bothering you? 131 00:16:03,420 --> 00:16:04,940 Besides not having any dinner? 132 00:16:07,780 --> 00:16:09,920 It's that new salesman at the store, Bart. 133 00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:11,940 He's really pissing me off. 134 00:16:12,700 --> 00:16:14,000 Why? What's he doing? 135 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:16,760 Well, first of all, he thinks he's God's gift to women. 136 00:16:17,620 --> 00:16:19,340 And he keeps stealing my customers. 137 00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,020 And he keeps insulting me and putting me down. 138 00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,930 You shouldn't be doing that. That's my job. 139 00:16:25,930 --> 00:16:27,350 Well, I'm glad you find it amusing. 140 00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:33,330 But before I die of starvation, I'd like to know that my unemployed wife and my 141 00:16:33,330 --> 00:16:36,670 underachieving kids still care about dear old dad. 142 00:16:38,070 --> 00:16:40,610 Oh, Al, your kids still care about you. 143 00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:43,130 Especially on Fridays when you get paid. 144 00:16:44,430 --> 00:16:46,810 I need to figure out a way to get even with this guy. 145 00:16:47,850 --> 00:16:49,050 I don't know, Al. 146 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,120 when you tried to get even with that priest who stole your parking space? 147 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:57,800 Peg, if I knew the father was gay, I never would have told him to go get 148 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:03,080 I felt so sorry for those poor Cub Scouts after he blessed me in uniform. 149 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,920 They were so traumatized, they never even made it to the Boy Scout. 150 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:10,060 No, but that priest did turn them all into wee blows. 151 00:17:13,060 --> 00:17:15,520 Oh, Al, just try to put Bart out of your mind. 152 00:17:16,420 --> 00:17:17,480 I'm telling you, Peg. 153 00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:21,460 If he messes with me one more time, he's going to feel the wrath of Al Bundy. 154 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:27,280 Oh, Al, you better stop. You're going to work yourself into a frenzy. 155 00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,160 How many pairs of shoes, Mr. Gordon? 156 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:55,600 What? You want to ask me out on a date? 157 00:17:56,400 --> 00:17:57,960 Have public sex with me? 158 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:00,560 We'll see you tonight. 159 00:18:03,060 --> 00:18:07,140 Face it, Bundy. You suck. 160 00:18:07,400 --> 00:18:08,400 I'm great. 161 00:18:08,620 --> 00:18:09,920 I don't suck. 162 00:18:10,420 --> 00:18:11,740 I'm just in a slump. 163 00:18:12,260 --> 00:18:14,520 Better than you in every possible way. 164 00:18:16,260 --> 00:18:17,260 No, you're not. 165 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:22,820 to the whole shoe profession. 166 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:25,720 I'm not a disgrace. 167 00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,240 I'm not a disgrace. 168 00:18:30,100 --> 00:18:31,340 I'm not a disgrace. 169 00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,140 I'm not a disgrace. 170 00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:35,240 I'm not a disgrace. 171 00:18:38,740 --> 00:18:39,920 I'm not a disgrace. 172 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,120 I'm not a disgrace. 173 00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,060 I'm not a disgrace. 174 00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:47,280 Al, Al, wake up. You're having a nightmare. 175 00:18:50,190 --> 00:18:51,330 you dream about something quiet? 176 00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,350 Oh, Peg, it was terrible. 177 00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:55,110 He was in my dream. 178 00:18:55,670 --> 00:18:56,850 Who was in your dream? 179 00:18:57,190 --> 00:18:59,070 That douchebag from the shoe store. 180 00:18:59,370 --> 00:19:00,430 You woke me up for that. 181 00:19:01,690 --> 00:19:03,110 Peg, it was terrible. 182 00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:08,430 Well, next time, Al, could you please dream about Sylvester Stallone or Wayne 183 00:19:08,430 --> 00:19:09,430 Young? 184 00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,830 I'm going downstairs to get a glass of milk. 185 00:20:11,820 --> 00:20:12,820 hell is this? 186 00:20:13,060 --> 00:20:14,060 Oh, hi, Daddy. 187 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,360 This is Rocky. 188 00:20:16,140 --> 00:20:17,980 The guy with the rocks in his testicles? 189 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,600 Daddy. 190 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:24,700 Pumpkin, it's 3 a .m., and if Rocky isn't out of here in 10 seconds, I'm 191 00:20:24,700 --> 00:20:28,380 to use my needle -nose pliers and pull each piece of gravel out of his balls. 192 00:20:29,900 --> 00:20:33,300 Call me tomorrow. 193 00:20:33,740 --> 00:20:34,740 Yeah. 194 00:20:38,820 --> 00:20:41,840 Pumpkin, I... How many times do I have to tell you not to bring stray bikers 195 00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:42,840 back to the house? 196 00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:44,320 I'm sorry, Daddy. 197 00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:46,340 It won't happen again. 198 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:48,200 Tonight. 199 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:53,240 Well, 200 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:54,979 that's better. 201 00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:57,760 Now, tomorrow night, I'll be at the bar drowning my sorrows. 202 00:20:58,060 --> 00:21:00,420 Don't be surprised if you see a strange man in the house. 203 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:01,940 A strange man? 204 00:21:03,180 --> 00:21:05,980 Your mother's throwing a pre -divorce party for Marcy. 205 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:10,380 She's got a male stripper coming by to show her what a real man looks like. 206 00:21:10,860 --> 00:21:14,380 You're not to touch him or let him touch you. Do you understand? 207 00:21:14,820 --> 00:21:15,820 I promise. 208 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:17,140 Strippers are gross. 209 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:21,020 I'll probably just sit in the corner and look at the pictures in a book. 210 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,760 Wow, is he gorgeous or what? 211 00:21:34,020 --> 00:21:35,020 Uh -huh. 212 00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:37,020 I'd fuck him right here. 213 00:21:37,940 --> 00:21:41,200 Well, whatever you do, don't let him come on the furniture. 214 00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:42,580 Ow, it'd kill me. 215 00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:45,660 Oh, he can come anywhere he wants. 216 00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,460 Well, if he does, just use a sweater to wipe it off. 217 00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:07,920 It's the gas button. 218 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:09,660 And I'm having a gas. 219 00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:17,740 Steve, 220 00:22:26,900 --> 00:22:28,600 a marriage is for suckers. 221 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:32,900 What do you think is going on over there? 222 00:22:41,450 --> 00:22:42,510 Well, they're not reading the Bible. 223 00:22:45,790 --> 00:22:47,950 Ah, Steve, you got nothing to worry about. 224 00:22:49,090 --> 00:22:53,270 Marshal, you'll see right through that stripper's big muscles and extremely 225 00:22:53,270 --> 00:22:56,570 large penis and come running right back to your skinny little arms. 226 00:22:56,830 --> 00:22:58,070 You really think so, Al? 227 00:22:59,310 --> 00:23:01,210 No, not in a million years. 228 00:24:08,940 --> 00:24:09,940 Taking him upstairs. 229 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:04,880 Suck dick. 230 00:25:33,550 --> 00:25:34,890 Shoot it all over yourself. 231 00:25:36,830 --> 00:25:37,830 Filthy. 232 00:25:42,870 --> 00:25:44,210 Suck cock, Marcy. 233 00:25:45,190 --> 00:25:46,190 Suck cock. 234 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,880 Yeah. Give me it. Give me it. 235 00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,400 Yeah. 236 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:11,960 My dearie. 237 00:38:44,330 --> 00:38:47,010 That pussy makes you want to cum, doesn't it? Yeah, I'm going to cum on 238 00:38:47,010 --> 00:38:48,010 fucking face. 239 00:38:48,170 --> 00:38:49,890 Yeah? Oh, that's fucking dirty. 240 00:38:50,270 --> 00:38:51,270 Yeah. 241 00:39:39,240 --> 00:39:40,240 hangover should go away. 242 00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:42,840 Oh, good morning, Al. 243 00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,440 So how was the party last night? 244 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,460 It was really boring. 245 00:39:49,740 --> 00:39:53,960 Yeah, Daddy, we didn't do much. We just sat around and waited for the stripper 246 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:54,960 to come. 247 00:39:55,340 --> 00:39:56,340 Well, did he come? 248 00:39:57,500 --> 00:39:58,580 Oh, he came on. 249 00:40:02,440 --> 00:40:06,060 Mom, I think Buck threw up in my sweater. 250 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,620 It's all gooey. 251 00:40:09,580 --> 00:40:11,220 I told you not to feed the dog people food. 252 00:40:12,060 --> 00:40:13,700 But let me see that sweater. 253 00:40:19,880 --> 00:40:21,320 Fat doggy, Buck. 254 00:40:22,700 --> 00:40:25,960 Maybe Marcy will realize the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the 255 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:26,960 fence now. 256 00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,540 Listen, Peg, the car's out of gas. 257 00:40:30,360 --> 00:40:33,080 Have you seen the $40 in emergency money we keep? 258 00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:35,560 No, Al. I haven't seen it. 259 00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,000 How am I supposed to get to work today? 260 00:40:57,540 --> 00:40:58,700 Bundy! You're late. 261 00:41:00,180 --> 00:41:04,520 I had to take five buses and the L to get here this morning. 262 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,300 So you haven't heard the news. 263 00:41:07,100 --> 00:41:08,520 And what news would that be? 264 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:12,620 Regional offices put you on probation for declining sales. 265 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,420 They wouldn't be declining if you didn't take all my good customers. 266 00:41:17,080 --> 00:41:18,080 Hey, whoa! 267 00:41:18,380 --> 00:41:20,400 Don't blame me for having goals, Bundy. 268 00:41:21,500 --> 00:41:24,900 Listen, Bart, I don't want to lose my job. 269 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,620 I have a miserable family to support. 270 00:41:28,120 --> 00:41:30,340 Maybe you could help me get some of my sales back. 271 00:41:31,040 --> 00:41:32,040 Hmm. 272 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:35,400 It takes a big man to admit that they're a failure. 273 00:41:36,700 --> 00:41:38,720 Bundy, today is your lucky day. 274 00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:43,460 Not only am I going to help you save your job, I'm also going to give you two 275 00:41:43,460 --> 00:41:50,380 free VIP passes to the Chrome Hair Spa on Division Street just so you 276 00:41:50,380 --> 00:41:52,740 can learn to enjoy the finer things in life. 277 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,140 What the hell do I need to... 278 00:41:55,550 --> 00:41:56,550 Spa for? 279 00:41:57,890 --> 00:41:59,810 This is no ordinary beauty spa. 280 00:42:00,390 --> 00:42:02,450 Guard those free passes with your life. 281 00:42:06,370 --> 00:42:07,370 Gee, Spart. 282 00:42:07,430 --> 00:42:10,110 Thanks. Um, listen. 283 00:42:11,050 --> 00:42:15,150 I'm meeting that little Asian cutie that came in and bought a dozen pair of 284 00:42:15,150 --> 00:42:16,150 thigh highs. 285 00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:17,750 Can you cover for me today? 286 00:42:18,150 --> 00:42:19,150 All day? 287 00:42:20,550 --> 00:42:21,610 Yeah, I guess. 288 00:42:35,020 --> 00:42:36,019 Hi, Dad. 289 00:42:36,020 --> 00:42:37,020 Jesus, son. 290 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,040 Don't stick up on me like that. 291 00:42:39,980 --> 00:42:40,980 What you doing? 292 00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:45,940 Well, I'm trying to hide these two VIP beauty spot passes from your mom. 293 00:42:46,820 --> 00:42:49,240 Well, I can hide them if you want. 294 00:42:49,540 --> 00:42:50,840 I'll put them in my little safe. 295 00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:53,600 You mean the little piggy with the furry ears? 296 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:56,080 Yeah, Dad. 297 00:42:56,660 --> 00:42:57,880 What you gonna do with them? 298 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:02,720 Well, I'm gonna give one to your mom so on her birthday she can get pampered and 299 00:43:02,720 --> 00:43:03,720 get her hair done. 300 00:43:04,170 --> 00:43:06,330 And get out of the house so I can watch the game. 301 00:43:09,070 --> 00:43:11,750 Well, what are you going to do with the other one? 302 00:43:12,290 --> 00:43:13,290 Give it to Kelly? 303 00:43:14,110 --> 00:43:15,110 No, son. 304 00:43:15,350 --> 00:43:16,390 I'm going to use it. 305 00:43:26,390 --> 00:43:27,390 Sorry, Dad. 306 00:43:27,610 --> 00:43:28,970 I deserve this more than you. 307 00:43:30,450 --> 00:43:31,530 Hi, welcome to prom. 308 00:43:32,130 --> 00:43:33,350 Okay, come with me. 309 00:43:45,150 --> 00:43:46,190 Let's get started. 310 00:43:47,230 --> 00:43:48,230 Wow. 311 00:43:48,750 --> 00:43:49,890 You're really beautiful. 312 00:43:50,390 --> 00:43:51,630 Thanks. I really think so. 313 00:43:52,170 --> 00:43:56,150 Yeah. In fact, all of you are beautiful. 314 00:44:16,300 --> 00:44:17,480 Is this real or fantasy? 315 00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:19,940 It's whatever you want it to be baby. 316 00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:50,960 Hmm. 317 00:45:52,750 --> 00:45:53,990 This is the best salon ever. 318 01:02:18,510 --> 01:02:19,510 Oh my god. 319 01:02:19,650 --> 01:02:21,010 Oh my god. 320 01:02:21,710 --> 01:02:22,910 Oh my god. 321 01:02:23,230 --> 01:02:24,850 Oh my god. 322 01:02:25,870 --> 01:02:26,870 Oh my god. 323 01:02:27,350 --> 01:02:28,610 Oh my god. 324 01:02:29,410 --> 01:02:30,670 Oh my god. 325 01:03:08,330 --> 01:03:10,490 I want to show you one of my secrets on how to make money. 326 01:03:11,910 --> 01:03:15,030 Girls like it when you sneak a peek up their skirts while they're trying on 327 01:03:15,030 --> 01:03:16,230 shoes. Really? 328 01:03:16,690 --> 01:03:17,690 They like that? 329 01:03:18,270 --> 01:03:20,430 Yeah. Get some men to move the body. 330 01:03:21,330 --> 01:03:22,790 Now here's what you gotta do. Come here. 331 01:03:31,550 --> 01:03:32,550 Yeah, Al. 332 01:03:33,070 --> 01:03:34,150 She's a beautiful girl. 333 01:03:35,510 --> 01:03:36,510 Now... 334 01:03:36,819 --> 01:03:37,819 Take these shoes. 335 01:03:39,100 --> 01:03:40,980 Go over there and do what I told you to. 336 01:03:42,240 --> 01:03:44,260 You'll be deep in that pussy in no time. 337 01:03:52,140 --> 01:03:54,640 Ma 'am, I think you'll really like these. 338 01:03:55,380 --> 01:03:56,380 Oh, they're lovely. 339 01:03:56,740 --> 01:03:58,140 Let me go ahead and put them on for you. 340 01:04:37,040 --> 01:04:38,420 I think she has a dick. 341 01:04:39,660 --> 01:04:40,660 No. 342 01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:42,500 There's no way. 343 01:04:43,900 --> 01:04:44,900 Check again. 344 01:04:50,920 --> 01:04:52,620 Should we try this one on too, miss? 345 01:04:52,820 --> 01:04:53,820 Sure. 346 01:05:21,580 --> 01:05:22,780 I'm gonna go throw up. 347 01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:34,740 Oh, 348 01:05:34,740 --> 01:05:42,340 man, 349 01:05:42,500 --> 01:05:43,500 she's beautiful. 350 01:05:44,540 --> 01:05:45,820 Do you think it's a girl? 351 01:05:47,780 --> 01:05:48,780 Okay, Al. 352 01:05:49,180 --> 01:05:50,180 Calm down. 353 01:05:50,380 --> 01:05:51,660 Let me show you how to do this. 354 01:05:52,440 --> 01:05:55,460 I need you to go lock the door, make sure no customers get in. 355 01:05:56,460 --> 01:05:59,580 If you report this to the boss, I'm just going tonight. 356 01:06:11,340 --> 01:06:12,340 Hello. 357 01:06:14,500 --> 01:06:16,040 Hi. How are you? 358 01:06:16,460 --> 01:06:17,379 Good, how are you? 359 01:06:17,380 --> 01:06:20,300 All right. I think this would look good on you. Really? 360 01:06:21,180 --> 01:06:24,260 Would you like a mint? 361 01:06:25,300 --> 01:06:26,880 Yes, I would love one. Thank you. 362 01:06:27,580 --> 01:06:28,600 There you go. 363 01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:30,200 Just for you. 364 01:06:33,660 --> 01:06:34,960 Wow, this is a good mint. 365 01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:36,680 You don't say. 366 01:08:07,880 --> 01:08:09,060 Because I'm so wet. 367 01:20:20,050 --> 01:20:21,930 Bundy, ease your heart out. 368 01:20:25,010 --> 01:20:26,690 I think I'll take 20 pairs. 369 01:20:31,910 --> 01:20:35,450 You mean to tell me he had sex with her right there in the store? 370 01:20:35,750 --> 01:20:37,010 It was amazing. 371 01:20:37,930 --> 01:20:39,190 He could get fired. 372 01:20:40,690 --> 01:20:42,130 I mean, it was awful. 373 01:20:42,790 --> 01:20:44,470 You really think he could get fired? 374 01:20:44,770 --> 01:20:46,990 Oh, total grounds for dismissal. 375 01:20:47,580 --> 01:20:49,860 And you say he slips each of the girls a mint? 376 01:20:50,620 --> 01:20:51,960 Maybe it's an aphrodisiac. 377 01:20:53,140 --> 01:20:58,100 I have some right here. He left a packet by the cash register, and I stole some. 378 01:21:00,900 --> 01:21:03,400 Oh, Al, let's try one. 379 01:21:04,320 --> 01:21:05,340 I don't know. 380 01:21:05,880 --> 01:21:07,600 Oh, come on, Al, be a man. 381 01:21:08,900 --> 01:21:12,300 Plus, if you want to get him fired, we need to find out if he's slipping the 382 01:21:12,300 --> 01:21:13,259 girls a Mickey. 383 01:21:13,260 --> 01:21:14,260 A Mickey? 384 01:21:14,880 --> 01:21:15,880 Just think. 385 01:21:16,200 --> 01:21:17,380 You could be number one again. 386 01:21:18,600 --> 01:21:20,640 And all's we have to do is get him fired. 387 01:21:23,940 --> 01:21:24,940 Now try the mint. 388 01:21:27,120 --> 01:21:28,560 It's a suppository, Peg. 389 01:21:30,540 --> 01:21:31,600 Are you kidding, Al? 390 01:21:32,240 --> 01:21:33,240 Yes. 391 01:21:34,120 --> 01:21:35,120 Be gentle. 392 01:21:38,260 --> 01:21:39,260 Maybe. 393 01:21:51,850 --> 01:21:52,850 I just wanna suck. 394 01:27:37,420 --> 01:27:38,420 Thank you, boss. 395 01:39:11,690 --> 01:39:15,150 We heard about Marcy's party. You're way past the birds and the bees. 396 01:39:17,250 --> 01:39:21,510 You know, Poki, Daddy needs your help at the store. 397 01:39:22,050 --> 01:39:25,110 But Daddy, I don't want to get a job. 398 01:39:26,330 --> 01:39:29,310 We've already clearly established that you'll be following in your mother's 399 01:39:29,310 --> 01:39:30,310 footsteps. 400 01:39:30,590 --> 01:39:31,670 But this is different. 401 01:39:32,290 --> 01:39:35,350 Your father needs you to help him blackmail his co -worker at the store. 402 01:39:43,730 --> 01:39:44,730 Here's how it'll work. 403 01:39:45,010 --> 01:39:46,950 You see, first it didn't take long to work. 404 01:40:13,610 --> 01:40:16,410 Hey, Bundy, take a look at that whore. 405 01:40:17,710 --> 01:40:19,710 I'd love to shove my dick down her throat. 406 01:40:21,430 --> 01:40:24,610 You know, blondes are the easiest to nail. 407 01:40:25,650 --> 01:40:27,170 Most of them are total sluts. 408 01:40:27,930 --> 01:40:30,910 This one looks like a real ho's ass. 409 01:40:32,390 --> 01:40:33,390 Do me a favor. 410 01:40:33,850 --> 01:40:35,010 Lock the door, would you? 411 01:40:35,490 --> 01:40:36,490 I'll be right back. 412 01:40:52,400 --> 01:40:53,620 I'm looking for something pretty. 413 01:40:54,460 --> 01:40:57,020 Well, I have a few pair for you to try on. 414 01:41:00,160 --> 01:41:01,320 Check your shoe size. 415 01:41:04,800 --> 01:41:07,720 Would you look at that? 416 01:41:13,720 --> 01:41:14,820 Not a size nine. 417 01:41:17,560 --> 01:41:18,580 Would you like a mint? 418 01:41:19,700 --> 01:41:20,700 Yes, I'd love one. 419 01:41:27,750 --> 01:41:28,750 Wow. 420 01:41:29,510 --> 01:41:31,570 That was the best mint I ever had. 421 01:41:32,110 --> 01:41:33,110 Don't sweat. 422 01:41:39,350 --> 01:41:42,430 Wow, that feels really good. 423 01:41:49,690 --> 01:41:50,690 Hey. 424 01:41:52,330 --> 01:41:54,210 God, you're really sexy. 425 01:41:57,100 --> 01:42:02,520 Why don't you take off your clothes and let's make love right here in the middle 426 01:42:02,520 --> 01:42:03,520 of the pool. 427 01:42:03,620 --> 01:42:05,140 You are a wild one. 428 01:42:05,420 --> 01:42:06,540 Oh, you bet I am. 429 01:42:06,880 --> 01:42:09,200 I love having sex in public places. 430 01:42:11,580 --> 01:42:14,060 This is exciting. 431 01:42:15,320 --> 01:42:16,320 Yes. 432 01:42:16,640 --> 01:42:19,480 Yes. Eat your heart out, Bundy. 433 01:42:19,780 --> 01:42:20,780 Yeah. 434 01:42:26,090 --> 01:42:27,090 Gotcha, asshole. 435 01:42:27,270 --> 01:42:28,970 Enjoy the last day on the job. 436 01:42:29,250 --> 01:42:30,750 What are you doing, Bundy? 437 01:42:33,550 --> 01:42:34,550 Oh, girl. 438 01:42:35,210 --> 01:42:36,810 Who needs this job, anyway? 439 01:42:37,250 --> 01:42:40,350 So, uh, sweetie, wanna have dinner with me tonight? 440 01:42:40,690 --> 01:42:42,970 Sure. My number is... 441 01:43:11,280 --> 01:43:12,360 Al Bundy's back. 442 01:43:15,580 --> 01:43:18,320 Now you can go back to watching General Hospital with your mom. 443 01:43:18,940 --> 01:43:22,080 Oh, Mom won't be home for hours. She went shopping with Marcy. 444 01:43:22,820 --> 01:43:26,720 Oh, well, here's 50 cents for the bus. 445 01:43:30,200 --> 01:43:32,360 Don't worry, Daddy. I don't need any money. 446 01:43:32,640 --> 01:43:34,240 I found my own ride home. 447 01:43:34,520 --> 01:43:35,560 Oh, that was rocky. 448 01:43:35,860 --> 01:43:39,160 No, I met this really nice guy. He's new in town. 449 01:43:41,420 --> 01:43:44,860 Just be careful, Pumpkin. I heard on the news that five people escaped from 450 01:43:44,860 --> 01:43:45,860 prison this morning. 451 01:43:45,980 --> 01:43:46,679 Oh, really? 452 01:43:46,680 --> 01:43:48,420 Well, don't worry, Daddy. I'll be fine. 453 01:43:52,800 --> 01:43:59,260 What a coincidence. 454 01:44:00,600 --> 01:44:03,620 You wearing that orange jumpsuit. 455 01:44:03,920 --> 01:44:06,920 And the news today about five escaped convicts. 456 01:44:09,080 --> 01:44:10,560 Yeah, I just like this outfit. 457 01:44:11,240 --> 01:44:13,360 Yeah, orange really works for you. 458 01:44:16,800 --> 01:44:17,980 Where are your parents? 459 01:44:18,280 --> 01:44:19,540 Oh, they won't be home for hours. 460 01:44:21,500 --> 01:44:23,120 Hey, do you want to fool around? 461 01:44:24,100 --> 01:44:26,760 Here? Or in the backseat of our car? 462 01:44:28,240 --> 01:44:29,680 Right here. It's fine. 463 01:44:30,180 --> 01:44:33,020 Okay, but we have to hurry before my brother Bud comes home. 464 01:44:33,740 --> 01:44:37,800 Hey! I see you brought your handcuffs. Way kinky. 465 01:45:13,700 --> 01:45:15,100 Really? 466 01:46:59,050 --> 01:47:00,050 Thank you. 467 01:49:04,490 --> 01:49:05,490 Wow. 468 01:49:08,970 --> 01:49:10,390 Damn it. 469 01:49:10,970 --> 01:49:12,470 Oh, yes. 470 01:49:15,330 --> 01:49:17,430 Oh, yes. 471 01:49:18,910 --> 01:49:21,530 Bad bunny. 472 01:49:47,790 --> 01:49:49,850 Oh, yes. 473 01:50:24,120 --> 01:50:26,920 Yeah, yeah 474 01:51:10,570 --> 01:51:11,570 Oh. 475 01:51:43,970 --> 01:51:46,310 Oh yeah. 476 01:52:13,030 --> 01:52:14,430 Yeah. 477 02:05:49,130 --> 02:05:50,690 We better hurry up and get dressed. 478 02:05:59,430 --> 02:06:01,690 So, Cal decided to do it indoors this time, huh? 479 02:06:10,310 --> 02:06:11,310 Who's this? 480 02:06:21,610 --> 02:06:24,630 about it. Were you nervous flirting in front of your father at the store? 481 02:06:25,070 --> 02:06:26,850 Well, yeah, I guess so. 482 02:06:27,130 --> 02:06:31,670 But I just tried to block Daddy out of my mind like I normally do. 483 02:06:32,870 --> 02:06:33,870 Who's this? 484 02:06:34,870 --> 02:06:36,010 You're so daring. 485 02:06:36,530 --> 02:06:39,270 I'm sure she just imagined being in the backseat of someone's car. 486 02:06:40,670 --> 02:06:41,970 This. Who is this? 487 02:06:42,690 --> 02:06:45,770 Kelly, aren't you going to introduce us to your little friend? Oh!