1
00:00:34,920 --> 00:00:36,820
I tell you, Jim, we've got to do
something about this report.

2
00:00:37,160 --> 00:00:38,540
Three of our delegates smell a rat.

3
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:40,860
We'll have to kick them out and get new
ones.

4
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,760
If Edgar isn't elected president, we'll
never be able to make that oil grab.

5
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:47,240
You're right, and we've got to get that
oil by hook or crook.

6
00:00:47,860 --> 00:00:50,860
What we need are three delegates who are
too dumb to think and who will do what

7
00:00:50,860 --> 00:00:52,940
we tell them. Now, where do we find such
guys?

8
00:00:55,700 --> 00:00:56,700
Come in.

9
00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,160
Sorry to disturb you, boss, but we've
got to clean the joint. It'll only take

10
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:01,879
few minutes.

11
00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:04,720
That's all right, boys. You won't
disturb us. Thank you. Right?

12
00:01:05,640 --> 00:01:06,640
Oh, come on.

13
00:01:08,460 --> 00:01:10,140
That's the wall the boss wants clean.

14
00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:13,120
If they're half as dumb as they look, I
think we've found our men.

15
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,500
Wash the wall and don't spare the water.

16
00:01:15,740 --> 00:01:16,740
Right.

17
00:01:24,100 --> 00:01:28,400
Get out of here.

18
00:01:28,820 --> 00:01:31,120
Get that squeegee and get busy, you
porcupine.

19
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,020
Okay, okay, kid, relax.

20
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,920
Nothing's going to happen. Where's the
sponge?

21
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:55,919
Here it is.

22
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:57,220
Oh, thanks.

23
00:01:58,060 --> 00:01:59,320
It's a big one, isn't it?

24
00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,320
Oh,

25
00:02:04,980 --> 00:02:05,980
no. Oh,

26
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:10,220
no. Hey, what's the idea of sponging on
me? Why don't you mind your own

27
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:11,220
business?

28
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:12,620
Oh, oh.

29
00:02:12,820 --> 00:02:13,820
See that? Yeah.

30
00:02:21,160 --> 00:02:22,160
He broke it. He broke it.

31
00:02:22,460 --> 00:02:23,460
Hey,

32
00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,540
you've got a hangnail. You know a
hangnail, eh? Yeah.

33
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,440
You didn't get it all. There's another
one.

34
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:31,640
Bow! Bow!

35
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,360
Bow! Bow!

36
00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:35,340
Bow! Bow! Bow!

37
00:02:36,480 --> 00:02:37,100
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!

38
00:02:37,100 --> 00:02:38,100
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!

39
00:02:38,340 --> 00:02:39,340
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!

40
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,360
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!
Bow! Bow!

41
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,780
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!

42
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:45,039
Bow! Bow!

43
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:45,160
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!

44
00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:45,599
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!
Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow! Bow!

45
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,720
Bow! Bow!

46
00:02:47,060 --> 00:02:48,060
Bow! Bow!

47
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,240
Bow

48
00:02:58,440 --> 00:02:59,440
You don't know.

49
00:03:55,530 --> 00:03:58,550
To coin a phrase, it's yours to pay and
you're stuck with it.

50
00:04:00,350 --> 00:04:02,210
Get it? To pay? Stuck with it?

51
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:04,950
There, you idiot.

52
00:04:06,390 --> 00:04:07,850
Those stupid idiots.

53
00:04:08,190 --> 00:04:09,950
How dumb can guys be?

54
00:04:10,230 --> 00:04:11,350
Relax, Jim, relax.

55
00:04:12,150 --> 00:04:13,690
They're just what the doctor ordered.

56
00:04:14,450 --> 00:04:15,950
Hey, boys, come here. Hurry.

57
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:21,149
How'd you boys like to make a lot of
easy money? You name it, we'll do it.

58
00:04:21,209 --> 00:04:23,570
We'd like you boys to be delegates at
the presidential convention.

59
00:04:24,190 --> 00:04:25,069
You're a cinch, boss.

60
00:04:25,070 --> 00:04:26,150
We know all about conventions.

61
00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:27,390
We've seen them on the television.

62
00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:30,030
Show them, boys, and peck it up like
you're at the convention.

63
00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:31,169
All right.

64
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:34,790
We're at the convention. We're at the
convention. The hall is a bedlam. The

65
00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:36,670
people are milling about. It's
impossible to move.

66
00:04:36,950 --> 00:04:40,070
Everyone is shouting and talking
hysterically. You have to elbow your way

67
00:04:40,070 --> 00:04:43,470
through the crowd. We scream and holler
and above the din roar, our voices blast

68
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:47,970
out. Vote for the one and only. That
fearless, that honest man of the people,

69
00:04:47,970 --> 00:04:50,350
the people, for the people and against
the people.

70
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:51,750
So let's...

71
00:04:53,290 --> 00:04:56,330
shall we vote for? Vote for that Ham,
uh, Ham and Dagger.

72
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,570
The place is in the bedroom.

73
00:04:58,970 --> 00:04:59,970
Trumpets are blasting.

74
00:05:03,090 --> 00:05:05,170
They're off and running around the far
turn.

75
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,630
White Sox is out in front.

76
00:05:07,050 --> 00:05:10,230
Cardinals are running close by. The
Giants are coming up fast. He's coming

77
00:05:10,230 --> 00:05:12,950
again. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You're at the
wrong convention.

78
00:05:15,970 --> 00:05:20,150
Ham and Dagger wants your vote. Chow his
praises from your throat.

79
00:05:20,390 --> 00:05:21,890
You'll eat steak instead of stew.

80
00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,160
What's the delegate's name?

81
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,400
Geronimo, from Rico Porto.

82
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:36,640
How many votes?

83
00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:38,400
Two. Two? Yeah, two.

84
00:05:38,740 --> 00:05:43,060
You got your reason. Get out of here.
The convention is getting out of

85
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:46,180
Will the sergeant -at -arms please clear
the aisle?

86
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:47,980
Order! Order!

87
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:49,840
Out of the estate and French fries.

88
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:52,480
You're out of order. Get out of here.

89
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:54,880
We're going to this convention like
soldiers.

90
00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:56,100
Fall in!

91
00:06:34,640 --> 00:06:37,360
Since I ever set the food up, I'm dying
for a cup of coffee. Me too.

92
00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:39,860
Call me some coffee too.

93
00:06:52,420 --> 00:06:54,440
Oh, my foot is killing me.

94
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:05,040
Why don't be quiet?

95
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:13,229
I was just thinking.

96
00:08:13,230 --> 00:08:16,370
It's a lucky thing we found out
Hamminger was a crook before we voted

97
00:08:16,470 --> 00:08:19,310
Yeah, and won't Wickburn when he finds
out we're not going to vote for his

98
00:08:19,310 --> 00:08:20,310
candidate?

99
00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:22,390
Say, boys, we'd better caucus.

100
00:08:22,630 --> 00:08:24,910
Not me. All day long we had a rump
session.

101
00:08:25,150 --> 00:08:26,230
And now you want me to caucus?

102
00:08:26,670 --> 00:08:28,650
I'm going to have my coffee. Go caucus
yourself.

103
00:08:29,290 --> 00:08:30,290
Uh -oh.

104
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,030
Oh. Well, I'll fix that.

105
00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:42,150
I got a hot eye. I heard a hot feet, but
never a hot eye.

106
00:08:42,510 --> 00:08:44,710
I'll fix this, all right. I'll fix this.

107
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:47,430
There we are.

108
00:08:47,970 --> 00:08:48,970
That's better.

109
00:08:54,430 --> 00:08:58,750
Hey, fellas, I finished my nomination
speech. Listen.

110
00:09:00,370 --> 00:09:07,070
Mr. Chairman, ladies and gentlemen,
fellow degenerates, delegates,

111
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:12,460
in these sordid and morbid times when
our national economy is at stake, And

112
00:09:12,460 --> 00:09:13,880
steak is $3 a pound.

113
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:18,820
There is a crying need for a man of
destiny to step forward.

114
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:23,040
What our country needs is tax reform and
land reform.

115
00:09:23,460 --> 00:09:25,660
Instead, all we get is chloroform.

116
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,140
Shall we continue to remain asleep?

117
00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:36,440
Little pieces of confetti out with the
scissors.

118
00:11:36,800 --> 00:11:37,800
Well, they're scissors.

119
00:11:37,940 --> 00:11:39,740
They don't use the scissors, you dope.
No?

120
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,200
No, a razor blade.

121
00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:42,520
Oh.

122
00:11:45,820 --> 00:11:48,280
How much money did Stewart's manager
give you for your boat?

123
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:49,560
Fifteen hundred dollars.

124
00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:50,760
Then we can buy a yacht.

125
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,520
And go fishing.

126
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:53,940
Yeah, you got worms?

127
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:55,380
Yeah, but I'm going anyhow.

128
00:11:55,620 --> 00:11:57,460
Say, something smells strong around
here.

129
00:11:57,860 --> 00:11:59,620
Well, don't look at me. I changed my
socks yesterday.

130
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000
Congratulations.

131
00:12:04,650 --> 00:12:05,509
eat. I'm hungry.

132
00:12:05,510 --> 00:12:10,030
Me too. I can eat a horse. Don't look at
me. I said a horse, not a jackass.

133
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:11,290
Come on, get busy.

134
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:12,690
Okay.

135
00:12:13,970 --> 00:12:17,810
What are you screaming about?

136
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:19,790
Go on, carve the turkey.

137
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,810
I can't. This thing isn't cooked.

138
00:12:22,070 --> 00:12:23,070
How do you know?

139
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,050
I jabbed it with a fork and it hadn't
helped.

140
00:12:25,390 --> 00:12:27,690
Stand aside, lame brain. I'll carve it.

141
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,540
What are you trying to do, starve me?
Get over there.

142
00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,640
Why don't you quit playing? Carve that
turkey.

143
00:12:37,860 --> 00:12:38,860
I'm scared to touch it.

144
00:12:39,180 --> 00:12:40,320
Scared? You're crazy.

145
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:42,080
Look at that beautiful breast.

146
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:48,120
No wonder you can't carve it. It's
ticklish.

147
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:52,520
Hey, maybe a little seasoning will
tenderize it. Pass me the black pepper.

148
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:57,560
That ought to do it.

149
00:12:58,700 --> 00:12:59,700
Gesundheit.

150
00:13:04,830 --> 00:13:09,290
idea. I'll stuff the turkey with
crackers, let him soak up the gravy,

151
00:13:09,290 --> 00:13:10,290
eat the crackers.

152
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:11,470
Smart boy.

153
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:14,290
Let me fix that. You're losing it. Hey,
we better hurry, because if we don't get

154
00:13:14,290 --> 00:13:21,290
there in time, we'll miss the whole...
That's

155
00:13:21,290 --> 00:13:27,090
funny. I had a cracker in my hand, and
before I knew what happened, the... Quit

156
00:13:27,090 --> 00:13:28,650
stalling. How about those crackers?

157
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:29,970
I can't do anything.

158
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,230
This turkey keeps grabbing the crackers
out of my hand.

159
00:13:32,470 --> 00:13:33,470
You're crazy.

160
00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:35,050
Next thing you'll tell me, it's walking.

161
00:13:42,670 --> 00:13:44,730
Wait a minute, I'll kill it.

162
00:13:49,010 --> 00:13:50,010
I'm sorry, Moe.

163
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:57,010
Why, you... Where'd he

164
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:59,790
go? He went that -a -way.

165
00:14:07,110 --> 00:14:08,110
Invention.

166
00:14:08,650 --> 00:14:09,650
Show.

167
00:14:10,090 --> 00:14:15,430
Come on, we'd better hurry up. Yeah.

168
00:14:17,570 --> 00:14:18,369
Let's go.

169
00:14:18,370 --> 00:14:19,069
All right.

170
00:14:19,070 --> 00:14:22,370
Come on. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. What
are you doing? What do you mean, what am

171
00:14:22,370 --> 00:14:22,989
I doing?

172
00:14:22,990 --> 00:14:24,690
And now to recap the voting.

173
00:14:24,910 --> 00:14:29,490
It is the 65th ballot and the score is
tied between Hammond Egger and Abel Lamb

174
00:14:29,490 --> 00:14:32,510
Stewart. There's some excitement on the
floor, ladies and gentlemen. Just a

175
00:14:32,510 --> 00:14:33,850
minute, please, until I check on it.

176
00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:35,070
Where are those?

177
00:14:35,340 --> 00:14:37,700
idiots. Why don't they cast their votes?
That'll put us over.

178
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,080
The three delegates from the 8th, 9th,
and 10th District have just cast their

179
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:44,660
votes. Oh, boy, that's us. We're in the
bag.

180
00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:48,520
A great upset. A great upset. The three
delegates who were committed to Edgar

181
00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:50,700
have switched their vote in favor of
Stewart.

182
00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:53,060
Stewart is the nominee for president.

183
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:55,860
Those dirty double -crossing rats.

184
00:14:56,180 --> 00:14:57,180
Come on.

185
00:14:57,660 --> 00:15:02,280
Oh, boy, oh, boy, we sure put that over.
Yes, sir. We're going to be set for

186
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:03,700
life. Just say nothing of the...

187
00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,300
make you Secretary of Defense.

188
00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:11,680
Thanks. And you Secretary of the
Inferior. Thanks. And I'll be

189
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,840
General. If you live long enough.

190
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:16,360
That's a nice crack to make. I didn't
say anything.

191
00:15:16,620 --> 00:15:17,920
Me either. But I did.

192
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,680
Why don't you mind your own business?
Then we'll all get...