1 00:00:36,270 --> 00:00:38,050 Yes. Yes. Oh, yes. 2 00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:39,290 Yes. 3 00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:40,430 Shemp is not. 4 00:00:41,590 --> 00:00:43,150 Oh, Shemp is. 5 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:45,870 Oh. 6 00:00:48,290 --> 00:00:51,530 Miss Jones, bring in the earthly report of my nephew, Mr. Shemp. 7 00:00:52,830 --> 00:00:56,510 Shemp, there seems to be some mix -up regarding your eligibility to enter 8 00:00:56,510 --> 00:01:01,450 portals. But, Uncle Mortimer, I... Is this what you want, sir? Thank you. 9 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:21,950 Bad Uncle Mortimer? 10 00:01:22,810 --> 00:01:24,790 I hope you brought your asbestos suit with you. 11 00:01:25,290 --> 00:01:26,268 Asbestos suit? 12 00:01:26,270 --> 00:01:29,690 Gosh, no. I wouldn't eat it up here. I... No, no. 13 00:01:31,250 --> 00:01:33,070 Look, what did I do that was wrong? 14 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:37,310 I wouldn't know, having died before you were born. But your report shows that 15 00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:40,510 you and your cousins, Moe and Larry, have been pretty bad boys. 16 00:01:40,750 --> 00:01:43,270 Oh, well, I'll be on my way. 17 00:01:43,510 --> 00:01:46,050 Get me a pitchfork and a red union suit, and I'll go. 18 00:01:46,250 --> 00:01:47,250 Wait. 19 00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:48,630 I'll give you one chance. 20 00:01:49,260 --> 00:01:52,640 Go back to Earth and reform Moe and Larry, and you can come back here for 21 00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:56,020 Gee, thanks. I'll reform that Moe and Larry if it kills me. 22 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,100 Hey, that doesn't make sense. 23 00:01:58,340 --> 00:01:59,340 I'm already dead. 24 00:02:00,460 --> 00:02:03,340 You realize that they will not be able to hear you or see you. 25 00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:05,800 They won't be able to hear me or see me? That's great. 26 00:02:06,040 --> 00:02:07,040 That's perfect. 27 00:02:16,590 --> 00:02:19,910 File this report, Miss Jones, until Mr. Shemp returns from his earthly visit. 28 00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:24,010 Oh, by the way, my nephew, Mr. Shemp, my secretary, Miss Jones. 29 00:02:24,590 --> 00:02:25,590 How do you do? 30 00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:27,690 Charmed. 31 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:03,600 Now, the depot was down this way one block and one block to your right. Gee, 32 00:03:03,660 --> 00:03:04,660 thanks. 33 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,760 Well, goodbye. 34 00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:08,780 Goodbye, she says. 35 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,080 If I leave now, that proves I'm dead. 36 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:14,000 Well, goodbye. 37 00:03:21,040 --> 00:03:22,040 Listen, 38 00:03:26,060 --> 00:03:27,860 you old rain cloud, why don't you look where you're going? 39 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,260 I had the right of way. 40 00:04:13,230 --> 00:04:18,690 being of unsound mind, do hereby prove it by leaving all my worldly possessions 41 00:04:18,690 --> 00:04:20,890 to my cousins, Moe and Larry. 42 00:04:52,270 --> 00:04:53,410 Poor Shemp's worldly goods. 43 00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:57,550 $140 to be divided equally between you. 44 00:04:57,830 --> 00:05:00,170 Poor Shemp, he left us all his money. 45 00:05:00,770 --> 00:05:01,770 Money? 46 00:05:01,990 --> 00:05:02,990 Oh, Dad. 47 00:05:04,590 --> 00:05:06,990 It's a good thing you hit me with money or I'd resent that. 48 00:05:07,210 --> 00:05:10,250 Quiet. We've got to divide this dough up fair and square. 49 00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:13,150 Say, there seems to be some more in here. 50 00:05:45,870 --> 00:05:46,870 bucks for you, Larry. 51 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,650 One, two, three, four. 52 00:05:50,990 --> 00:05:53,150 Say, at what age did you graduate from grammar school? 53 00:05:53,490 --> 00:05:54,510 18. 18. 54 00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:58,390 19, 20, 21, 22. 55 00:05:59,990 --> 00:06:03,890 Robber. Say, tell me, how old do you have to be to collect your old age 56 00:06:04,270 --> 00:06:05,730 65. 65. 57 00:06:06,390 --> 00:06:11,850 66, 67, 68, 69, 70. There we go. 58 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:20,060 Here's where I start reforming you, mister. 59 00:06:25,780 --> 00:06:27,400 Why don't you watch what you're doing? 60 00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:29,120 What are you talking about? 61 00:06:29,460 --> 00:06:30,720 You know what we're talking about. 62 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:32,840 Yeah, you blew the money right off the desk. 63 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:36,840 I'll divide it this time. 64 00:06:38,980 --> 00:06:39,980 That's better. 65 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,500 I think you gypped me. 66 00:06:42,740 --> 00:06:44,780 You've been picking on that little guy long enough. 67 00:06:44,980 --> 00:06:46,960 It's about time you got a dose of your own medicine. 68 00:06:48,729 --> 00:06:50,230 Oh, a wise guy, huh? 69 00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:51,810 Well, I didn't do nothing. 70 00:06:53,430 --> 00:06:59,990 Why, you... Oh, no way. Well, miss you. Hey, that's enough of this nonsense. Pay 71 00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:03,410 me my fee. I've got a luncheon date. Oh, yes, your fee. How much is it? 72 00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:04,870 $150. 73 00:07:05,130 --> 00:07:06,850 Why, Shemp only left us $140. 74 00:07:07,310 --> 00:07:08,310 I'll take it. 75 00:07:08,990 --> 00:07:10,670 Are you sure this is all you've got? 76 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,410 That's the last red cent, Mr. Fleeceham. 77 00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:14,850 See? 78 00:07:17,380 --> 00:07:20,020 Any other lawyer would have taken the case for $20. 79 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,680 Oh, is that so? 80 00:07:23,140 --> 00:07:26,420 That's what I call easy pickings. Are you telling me? 81 00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:33,740 Well, be seeing you later, chump. Don't stay in the office too long. 82 00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,660 Dirty crook. You mind if we breathe? 83 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,200 Dirty crook. Well, that did it. We're flat broke. 84 00:07:39,540 --> 00:07:40,600 You got a dime for coffee, eh? 85 00:07:41,140 --> 00:07:42,960 Say, I had some airmail stamps. 86 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:46,820 Well, what do you know? 87 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:54,320 I know you're trying to jip me again. Oh, Moe, I wasn't trying to 88 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:57,080 jip you. I thought I had a couple of... Moe? 89 00:07:57,300 --> 00:07:59,200 Yeah? You took my money, didn't you? 90 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:00,239 Yeah, sure. 91 00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:01,980 My pocket was empty, wasn't it? Sure. 92 00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:03,300 Well, what's this? 93 00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:08,760 Hey, there's something funny going on around here. 94 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,400 I got it. 95 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,060 You know, Shemp said he was coming back to Earth to haunt us. 96 00:08:13,500 --> 00:08:16,320 I let him come. I ain't afraid of that fat head. 97 00:08:16,780 --> 00:08:17,880 Oh! Oh! 98 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:20,520 Moe, what'd you hit me for? 99 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:25,040 I didn't touch you. That's what I was afraid of. Shemp's here. It's him. This 100 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,040 ghost just hit me. 101 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:27,900 Oh, I ain't afraid of ghosts. Stand aside. 102 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:29,940 I'll prove it. Keep your hands in your pocket. 103 00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:34,620 Shemp, if you're around here, give me a smash on the chin and convince me. 104 00:08:35,159 --> 00:08:36,159 Oh! 105 00:08:49,939 --> 00:08:50,939 Well, I'm not. 106 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,580 Shemp, if it's really you, do something else to prove it. 107 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,500 See, he ain't here. 108 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,220 I say, Lord Larrington. 109 00:09:30,460 --> 00:09:32,620 Oh, there you are, Sir Mowington. 110 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,820 Chitty -o, pip -pip, and all that sort of rot. Old thing, old stuff, old 111 00:09:36,820 --> 00:09:38,420 fishmonger, old skunk bait. 112 00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,820 You don't have to overdo it. 113 00:09:40,700 --> 00:09:42,700 Well, we're trying to be elegant, ain't we? Yeah. 114 00:09:43,300 --> 00:09:44,880 Say, where's that butler of ours? 115 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:46,680 Oh, Spiffingham. 116 00:09:46,980 --> 00:09:47,980 Cheerio, sir. 117 00:09:50,180 --> 00:09:52,380 Sir? Is everything in readiness? 118 00:09:52,660 --> 00:09:54,820 Yes, sir. Thank you. Thank you all. 119 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,740 You know, I'm worried. I hope this little scheme of ours works out. It had 120 00:10:03,740 --> 00:10:07,080 better, after we spent all of Shemp's inheritance to rent this apartment, get 121 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:08,320 these suits, and hire that butler. 122 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:11,160 Well, we had to do something to impress the De Peisters. 123 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:14,900 After all, we're trying to sell them that phony fountain pen invention of 124 00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:16,640 for 50 grand, ain't we? And how? 125 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:21,560 Say, why would anybody want a fountain pen that writes on the whipped cream? 126 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:26,100 Well, a fellow can be on the desert where there ain't any water to write on 127 00:10:26,100 --> 00:10:28,340 candy. Yeah, I never thought of that. 128 00:10:29,610 --> 00:10:32,790 I sure hope that the Peisters will be impressed with our butler. 129 00:10:33,330 --> 00:10:36,830 If you have a butler after I get through giving him the business. 130 00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:54,790 That's funny. 131 00:10:55,130 --> 00:10:57,410 I'm sure I heard that doorbell ring. 132 00:10:58,860 --> 00:10:59,759 Uh -oh. 133 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:02,620 If someone's in here, how come I can't see them? 134 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,840 If they ain't in here, then this hat and coat's out for a walk by itself. 135 00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:10,540 Uncle Mortimer, let him hear this. 136 00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:12,460 Okay. 137 00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:14,500 Get out! 138 00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,240 Gesundheit. 139 00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,380 Who am I, Gesundheit? 140 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:33,860 Wait till we get our hands on that 50 grand. 141 00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:36,320 Here's to success with the DePeisters. 142 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:41,440 What's the big idea? 143 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:43,420 You did it and you're asking me? 144 00:11:43,740 --> 00:11:45,620 Quiet. I didn't do it. 145 00:11:46,580 --> 00:11:49,840 Moe, it must be Shemp. He came back to warn us. 146 00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:53,460 Shemp, if you're in this room, give us a clue, will you? 147 00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:54,860 But no tricks. 148 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,300 Oh, no? 149 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,520 Hat and coat belong to either one of you. 150 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,660 Oh, no. Those belong to our dear dead cousin. 151 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:17,880 Did you say dead? 152 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:19,560 Yes. 153 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,780 And if he's dead, who gave me this hat and coat? 154 00:12:23,060 --> 00:12:24,060 His ghost. 155 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:26,680 Says which? 156 00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,700 Oh, that must be the Depicters. 157 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,660 Spiffingham, answer the door. 158 00:12:32,740 --> 00:12:34,520 No, sir, that might be that ghost. 159 00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:38,860 It can't be the ghost. He's right here in this room. Maybe alongside of you. 160 00:12:42,430 --> 00:12:44,270 Fate, why don't you get going? 161 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:48,030 Yes, get going and answer the door. 162 00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:51,790 I'm going, but my heart ain't in it. 163 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:54,790 Fate, hurry up. We better clean up. 164 00:13:01,450 --> 00:13:02,450 Come in, folks. 165 00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:09,050 Why, you look as if you've seen a ghost. 166 00:13:09,490 --> 00:13:11,250 Mister, you don't know the half of it. 167 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:27,020 See plots we shall return momentarily a what 168 00:13:27,020 --> 00:13:35,140 Yes, 169 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:44,300 I 170 00:13:44,300 --> 00:13:51,240 got rid of him now to see that that the prices don't get chipped Here 171 00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:55,320 is our invention Well, I'm dying to be the first one to see a fountain pen 172 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,320 under whipped cream. 173 00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,080 Indeed, so am I. 174 00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:01,860 Now you take the fountain pen and place it in here. 175 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:06,360 And put the paper in thusly. And pour the cream over all. 176 00:14:07,300 --> 00:14:09,280 Now turn the motor on to low. 177 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,960 Low. 178 00:14:12,840 --> 00:14:14,700 It must turn slowly. 179 00:14:15,440 --> 00:14:17,240 Otherwise, it would overflow. 180 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:22,280 Now, would you care to make out your check for 50 ,000 now or later? 181 00:14:23,040 --> 00:14:24,040 Yeah. 182 00:14:28,180 --> 00:14:34,180 This is preposterous. What next? 183 00:15:18,190 --> 00:15:18,989 It's working out. 184 00:15:18,990 --> 00:15:19,990 I think they'll turn. 185 00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:33,150 we invented a fountain pen that writes under whipped cream. 186 00:16:34,570 --> 00:16:35,670 Under whipped cream. 187 00:16:37,850 --> 00:16:39,010 There's your whipped cream. 188 00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,210 And there's your fountain pen.