1
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:37,860
Awful. Awful. I tell you, gentlemen,
there's no use arguing against facts.

2
00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:41,540
Our business is at a standstill and
we've got to do something about it.

3
00:00:41,540 --> 00:00:42,540
right, Mr. Ixnay.

4
00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:46,580
Our munitions factory has only sold five
million buckaroos profit for the first

5
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:47,580
quarter of this year.

6
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:48,700
Think of it, Mr. Rone.

7
00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,400
Only five million while we're
practically starving.

8
00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,960
That's true, but we must remember that
the kingdom of Moronica is at peace, Mr.

9
00:00:55,060 --> 00:00:57,060
Ixnay. You're right, Mr. Amscray.

10
00:00:57,780 --> 00:00:59,180
But there's no money in peace.

11
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,560
No. We must start a war.

12
00:01:01,860 --> 00:01:05,550
Right. If the king wants only peace,
then we must oust him and appoint a

13
00:01:05,550 --> 00:01:06,730
dictator. That's it, a dictator.

14
00:01:06,970 --> 00:01:11,110
Exactly. We must find someone who is
stupid enough to do what we tell him.

15
00:01:11,110 --> 00:01:13,030
where can we find anyone that stupid,
Mr. Rone?

16
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:17,050
I've got the very man, and he's in this
house right now.

17
00:01:17,270 --> 00:01:19,050
His name is Moe Hailstone.

18
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:21,530
He and his two helpers are papering my
dining room.

19
00:01:21,810 --> 00:01:22,810
A paper hanger?

20
00:01:22,910 --> 00:01:23,910
Why not?

21
00:01:24,670 --> 00:01:25,890
Now, here's the whole plan.

22
00:01:31,490 --> 00:01:32,490
Gentlemen!

23
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,340
Yes, sir.

24
00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:39,500
These are the men I was telling you
about.

25
00:01:39,800 --> 00:01:41,440
Boys, I want you to meet Mr.

26
00:01:41,660 --> 00:01:42,900
Amscray, Mr. Oney.

27
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:45,000
Hailstone, gallstone, pebble.

28
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:46,200
How do you do?

29
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,380
We've come here to offer you the
greatest opportunity of your life.

30
00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:53,860
You mean you'll let us paper the living
room?

31
00:01:54,060 --> 00:01:56,360
No, no, no. You're through with
papering.

32
00:01:56,860 --> 00:02:00,200
My partners and I are going to make you
dictator of Maronica.

33
00:02:00,920 --> 00:02:02,460
Dictator? What does a dictator do?

34
00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:03,639
A dictator?

35
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:08,360
Why, he makes love to beautiful women,
drinks champagne, enjoys life, and never

36
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:12,100
works. He makes speeches to the people,
promising them plenty, gives them

37
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:13,460
nothing, then takes everything.

38
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:14,720
That's a dictator.

39
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:15,860
Hmm, a parasite.

40
00:02:16,140 --> 00:02:17,360
That's for me. Quiet.

41
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:19,520
I must think.

42
00:02:20,220 --> 00:02:21,380
Quiet while I think.

43
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:26,980
I must think. Let me see.

44
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,940
I like the job, all right, but I can't
leave my two pals. You know, our motto

45
00:02:40,940 --> 00:02:42,840
has always been one for all and all for
me.

46
00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:44,200
Bedlock.

47
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,320
Bedlock.

48
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:48,460
Bedlock.

49
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:55,940
Bedlock.

50
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:03,900
Gentlemen,

51
00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:06,360
so as not to break up your little
triumvirate.

52
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:10,000
We're going to make this man field
marshal and head of all our fighting

53
00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:11,720
Can I have a uniform and a real sword?

54
00:03:11,980 --> 00:03:14,640
You can have a hundred uniforms. Just go
out and shoot a hundred generals and

55
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:15,640
help yourself.

56
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:17,840
I'll shoot two hundred generals.

57
00:03:20,740 --> 00:03:21,740
What's that?

58
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,900
It's a machine gun. Let me see.

59
00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,700
We'll make this man minister of
propaganda.

60
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:31,880
Propaganda? What's that?

61
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:35,800
A propaganda marries a marmaganda and
they raise a lot of little goslings.

62
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:45,000
We'll take the job. What do we do?
First, you start a beer putsch. How?

63
00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:47,660
You put your beer down and wait for the
pretzels.

64
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:49,760
No, no, no, no.

65
00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:53,820
You go to the saloons and you buy free
beer for all the saloonatics. Then you

66
00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:56,040
march them to the palace and force the
king to abdicate.

67
00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:57,480
That makes you dictator.

68
00:03:58,180 --> 00:04:00,560
Hail, hail, Hailstone, the dictator!

69
00:04:01,560 --> 00:04:03,120
Hail, hail, Hailstone!

70
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:04,920
Wahoo!

71
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:09,740
My good people of Moronica!

72
00:04:11,690 --> 00:04:13,170
Happy to see this little gathering.

73
00:04:17,390 --> 00:04:23,050
We must throw off the yoke of monarchy
and make our country safe for hypocrisy.

74
00:04:47,150 --> 00:04:50,130
shall be Moronica for Morons!

75
00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,870
We will have less work and more play.

76
00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,390
Every Thursday you will receive...

77
00:05:17,390 --> 00:05:18,430
our neighbors a helping hand.

78
00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:22,470
We will extend them two helping hands
and help ourselves to our neighbors.

79
00:05:54,410 --> 00:05:56,970
It'll be 3 o 'clock, Bologna watch time.

80
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:03,310
3 o 'clock, Bologna watch time. 3 o
'clock, Bologna watch time. It must be 3

81
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:04,310
'clock.

82
00:06:29,930 --> 00:06:30,930
for my secretary.

83
00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:32,130
You mean secretary?

84
00:06:32,470 --> 00:06:33,470
I said secretary.

85
00:06:33,730 --> 00:06:35,650
Secretary. Which is correct?

86
00:06:36,010 --> 00:06:37,010
Stenographer.

87
00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:38,830
I'll ring for it.

88
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,270
I still say secretary.

89
00:06:41,810 --> 00:06:42,769
Is that so?

90
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:44,230
Yeah. Hold that.

91
00:06:47,090 --> 00:06:47,610
What

92
00:06:47,610 --> 00:06:54,470
do you mean by

93
00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:57,730
reading a book? Suppose you learned
something. Loyal moronicons shouldn't

94
00:06:58,270 --> 00:07:00,350
Take your troops out and have them burn
every book in Moronica.

95
00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:02,030
It's not my little red book.

96
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:03,430
Let me see that.

97
00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:07,670
June East, 110 Goodnecking Place,
Whoopie 4430.

98
00:07:09,610 --> 00:07:12,990
Ruby Clutch, OOOG, has car, often runs
out of gas.

99
00:07:13,510 --> 00:07:14,510
Woo, woo, woo.

100
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:16,510
Woo, woo, woo.

101
00:07:16,790 --> 00:07:19,150
Woo, woo, woo. I'll keep this.

102
00:07:19,530 --> 00:07:20,550
Oh, a bookkeeper.

103
00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:22,090
Go burn the books.

104
00:07:22,370 --> 00:07:23,510
Why burn the books?

105
00:07:23,990 --> 00:07:27,030
There are too many bookmakers. The
bookies are overrunning the country.

106
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,030
are my orders.

107
00:07:28,410 --> 00:07:30,030
Hail, hail, Hailstone!

108
00:07:30,770 --> 00:07:31,770
Wahoo!

109
00:07:32,830 --> 00:07:37,330
Yes? Matty Herring is here to see you.
Marinate her and send her in. Yes, sir.

110
00:07:44,150 --> 00:07:45,210
Go on, get in there.

111
00:07:47,790 --> 00:07:49,050
Please, Your Excellency.

112
00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:51,850
I caught this man walking down the
street with a chicken.

113
00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:53,490
Blonde brunette. Quiet.

114
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:55,250
Where did you get the chicken?

115
00:07:55,590 --> 00:07:56,590
From an egg.

116
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,910
Where'd you get the egg?

117
00:07:58,510 --> 00:07:59,469
From a chicken?

118
00:07:59,470 --> 00:08:01,250
A vicious cycle. We must kill it.

119
00:08:01,710 --> 00:08:02,770
Remind me to kill a cycle.

120
00:08:03,190 --> 00:08:05,470
Quiet. Put him in a concentrated camp.

121
00:08:06,170 --> 00:08:07,170
Come on.

122
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:08,230
Come on, then.

123
00:08:08,410 --> 00:08:11,210
Come on. On second thought, throw him to
the lions.

124
00:08:11,470 --> 00:08:12,470
But we have no lions.

125
00:08:12,650 --> 00:08:14,890
How about the tigers or the cubs? Or the
giants?

126
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,230
Why have we no lions?

127
00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:18,990
Because there's no bones in ice cream.

128
00:08:19,210 --> 00:08:23,750
Well, we... How can I throw anyone to
the lions when we have no lions?

129
00:08:23,990 --> 00:08:30,560
Oh, don't worry, little fella. We'll get
you an ice... With long claws that

130
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,760
scratch like this. And long white teeth
that bite like that.

131
00:08:36,140 --> 00:08:38,520
You know...

132
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:47,520
I

133
00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,780
am Matty Herring. Oh, my favorite dish.

134
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,680
Don't taste like herring to me.

135
00:08:56,060 --> 00:08:57,320
Oh, a connoisseur, eh?

136
00:08:57,840 --> 00:09:01,700
As Minister of Propaganda, I don't want
to hear from you.

137
00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:04,740
What's the matter with him?

138
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,580
He's a little grouchy. Got up on the
wrong side of the gutter this morning.

139
00:09:09,700 --> 00:09:13,460
Shall we gaze into the magic ball and
see what the future holds for you?

140
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,000
Come along.

141
00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:17,080
I'm going to take him up on the roof and
overthrow him.

142
00:09:18,380 --> 00:09:20,000
Whip out your magic ball, Matty.

143
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:21,920
Dickel, dickel, dickel, mickel.

144
00:09:24,500 --> 00:09:25,500
Why, that's an eight ball.

145
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,040
Sit right down behind it.

146
00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:32,200
The magic ball says you have not long to
live.

147
00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:33,460
Oh, goody.

148
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:39,280
All

149
00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:48,240
out

150
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:49,520
for Syracuse!

151
00:09:51,460 --> 00:09:53,020
Syracuse? This is where I get off.

152
00:09:53,930 --> 00:09:54,869
Where is he going?

153
00:09:54,870 --> 00:09:55,930
The boy's from Syracuse.

154
00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:57,330
Concentrate.

155
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,430
The spirits are sending me a message.

156
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:09,870
They are coming

157
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:10,950
closer and closer.

158
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:13,090
I can feel their magic touch.

159
00:10:13,410 --> 00:10:14,410
Me too.

160
00:10:21,050 --> 00:10:22,050
Why,

161
00:10:22,950 --> 00:10:24,120
you double... Crosser, you.

162
00:10:24,860 --> 00:10:25,860
Oh,

163
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:28,440
look. A note fell out of the ball.

164
00:10:29,620 --> 00:10:30,620
Let me see that.

165
00:10:32,540 --> 00:10:35,920
Dear daughter, if you poison Moe
Hailstone, I'll make you Queen of the

166
00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:38,820
father, Herman the Six and Seven
-Eights, King of Moronica.

167
00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,660
P .S. There's a sale on poison at the
Cutthroat Drugstore.

168
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:42,940
Six and Seven -Eights.

169
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:45,520
Grab her.

170
00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:51,940
Just hold her arm. She's a spy.

171
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:53,520
She's a spy all over, isn't she?

172
00:10:53,940 --> 00:10:55,960
Why, you half -wit.

173
00:10:59,740 --> 00:11:01,340
Call out all my stormtroopers.

174
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:05,200
Calling all stormtroopers. Calling all
stormtroopers.

175
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:09,359
What's the matter?

176
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,060
Quick, there's a storm brewing. We
caught a spy.

177
00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:25,750
Buy and shoot her.

178
00:11:29,430 --> 00:11:31,330
Hey, how can you shoot her with dice?

179
00:11:32,190 --> 00:11:33,190
They're loaded.

180
00:11:34,810 --> 00:11:38,990
Here, take her out and shoot her. Don't
worry about it. When I get there... Come

181
00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:40,150
on, Toots, we'll shoot the works.

182
00:11:41,210 --> 00:11:44,130
And just think, I might have asked Matty
Herring to marry me.

183
00:11:44,390 --> 00:11:46,910
Yeah, you'd have been in some pickle
with that Herring. Yes.

184
00:11:48,650 --> 00:11:50,330
Blindfold? Yes, of course.

185
00:11:56,010 --> 00:11:57,010
paces and out of fire.

186
00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:58,430
Goodbye. Goodbye.

187
00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:03,590
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight, nine, ten.

188
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:05,930
Whoa! That's that.

189
00:12:08,050 --> 00:12:09,390
What happened?

190
00:12:09,590 --> 00:12:10,590
That Maddie Harry escaped.

191
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:12,470
And you shut me in the excitement, you
fool.

192
00:12:12,870 --> 00:12:16,230
We must get her back. I'll be satisfied
if we get her hair back. I'll take a

193
00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:19,670
quarterback. In fact, I'll take Notre
Dame in two points. Oh, you want two

194
00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:21,490
points? I certainly do. Well, you got
her.

195
00:12:21,850 --> 00:12:25,110
We got to strike before she gets back to
her father, the king, and they gather

196
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:25,869
an army.

197
00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:26,729
What can we do?

198
00:12:26,730 --> 00:12:28,110
We'll start a blintz creed.

199
00:12:28,330 --> 00:12:30,450
Oh, goody. I just love blintzes.

200
00:12:30,910 --> 00:12:32,290
Especially with sour creed.

201
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:41,910
Get him.

202
00:12:48,270 --> 00:12:51,590
Gentlemen, study this map carefully.

203
00:12:52,050 --> 00:12:54,470
We're going to conquer the continent of
South Starvania.

204
00:13:22,940 --> 00:13:24,900
You, I shall give, Mickey Finland.

205
00:13:25,100 --> 00:13:28,200
If I take Mickey Finland, I'd better be
Russian. Then quit Stalin.

206
00:13:28,460 --> 00:13:29,460
So be it.

207
00:13:29,680 --> 00:13:31,060
It's time for our round table
conference.

208
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:34,140
How can we have a round table
conference? We've only got a square

209
00:13:34,420 --> 00:13:36,080
Oh, in Moronica, nothing is on the
square.

210
00:13:36,340 --> 00:13:37,480
We shall have to cut corners.

211
00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:39,539
Get busy.

212
00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:40,379
I'm cutting.

213
00:13:40,380 --> 00:13:41,380
Oh, Your Excellency.

214
00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,740
I'm your new secretary, Miss Feffernus.

215
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:45,940
What is it, Miss Feffernus?

216
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:51,240
The delegates are here for the round
table conference.

217
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:56,820
How many of them are there? Oh, I don't
know. Maybe five, six, seven, or eight,

218
00:13:56,820 --> 00:14:00,220
maybe. Five, six, seven, eight?

219
00:14:00,660 --> 00:14:02,180
Oh, I don't know what we'd do without
you.

220
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:06,260
Mighty pretty girl, isn't she?

221
00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:08,820
Mighty fine dancer, too.

222
00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,400
You're not so bad yourself.

223
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:13,240
But you tell it to all the boys.

224
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:16,220
Quiet. Tell the delegates we'll be ready
in a moment.

225
00:14:21,900 --> 00:14:24,020
of a dance? I think I'll sit this one
out. Okay.

226
00:14:29,340 --> 00:14:30,760
Isn't that half -wit finished yet?

227
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:34,660
Gentlemen, let us begin to begin.

228
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,820
As Minister of Unfola, I object.

229
00:14:38,380 --> 00:14:41,920
Your minorities are creeping into our
majorities until you're making our

230
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:42,920
majorities minorities.

231
00:14:43,460 --> 00:14:44,600
Objection overruled.

232
00:14:45,220 --> 00:14:47,000
Peace! We want peace!

233
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:50,460
Yes, a piece of this and a piece of that
country.

234
00:14:51,130 --> 00:14:53,930
Delegate Bunce Rippenbuck? Do you really
want peace?

235
00:14:54,330 --> 00:14:55,330
Yes.

236
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,310
That Bunce is hard to crack.

237
00:15:00,530 --> 00:15:03,530
You're using the wrong club. Try to
snibble it. Oh, thanks, Kenny.

238
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:05,070
Four?

239
00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:08,990
Peace! We want peace!

240
00:15:09,610 --> 00:15:13,310
What we want is a corridor through
double cross here as an outlet into the

241
00:15:13,310 --> 00:15:14,309
of window.

242
00:15:14,310 --> 00:15:15,310
Quiet!

243
00:15:16,770 --> 00:15:17,770
The gentlemen object.

244
00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:18,829
Appease them.

245
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,110
How about throwing them to the new
lines?

246
00:15:20,510 --> 00:15:22,310
No, let's appease him. I just love
appeasing.

247
00:15:32,710 --> 00:15:39,070
You're out.

248
00:17:12,329 --> 00:17:13,329
What's the matter? You got asthma?

249
00:17:13,470 --> 00:17:14,490
No, that wasn't me.