1 00:00:28,154 --> 00:00:29,155 B e n d e r: "Free beer"? 2 00:00:33,618 --> 00:00:34,785 Free beer. Free beer. 3 00:00:35,119 --> 00:00:36,454 Free beer. Free beer. 4 00:00:36,579 --> 00:00:39,373 Free beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer, beer! 5 00:00:39,457 --> 00:00:40,625 Free... 6 00:00:55,014 --> 00:00:56,349 Ah! 7 00:00:56,432 --> 00:00:59,018 Hello. I'm here for the free beer. 8 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,561 You got it. 9 00:01:00,645 --> 00:01:03,189 Right after these 800 people get it. 10 00:01:04,649 --> 00:01:06,567 Beer, beer-beer, beer, beer. 11 00:01:06,651 --> 00:01:08,486 Beer? 12 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,990 Ah... yeah! 13 00:01:13,532 --> 00:01:16,077 Thank you, headless clone of agnew. 14 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:17,662 My fellow earthicans, 15 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,831 I'm proud to announce I'm running for reelection 16 00:01:20,915 --> 00:01:24,710 as president of earth, the greatest planet in the world. 17 00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,254 All: Yeah! 18 00:01:26,712 --> 00:01:29,173 Is everyone enjoying their free beer? 19 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,633 All: Yeah! 20 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:34,345 Well, there's plenty more where that came from. 21 00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,932 We're all out of beer. 22 00:01:41,519 --> 00:01:43,354 All right, listen up, nitwits. 23 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:47,692 Who here is tired of illegal space aliens taking our good earth jobs? 24 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:52,571 Me, too. So, if I'm reelected, 25 00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:55,866 I promise to build a really big Dyson fence 26 00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,452 across the southern border of our solar system. 27 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:04,583 And furthermore, by golly, I promise to cut taxes for the rich 28 00:02:04,667 --> 00:02:08,546 and use the poor as a cheap source of teeth for aquarium gravel. 29 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,173 Yeah! That'll show those poor! 30 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,884 Why are you cheering, fry? You're not rich. 31 00:02:13,968 --> 00:02:16,137 True, but someday I might be rich. 32 00:02:16,262 --> 00:02:19,515 And then people like me better watch their step. 33 00:02:19,598 --> 00:02:21,017 Let's just find bender. 34 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:28,065 Ah, that hit the spot. 35 00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,650 I found bender! 36 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:36,449 Good news, everyone. 37 00:02:36,532 --> 00:02:38,367 What? I've repaired myself 38 00:02:38,451 --> 00:02:42,330 with these convenient "reelect Nixon" ass stickers. Go, Nixon! 39 00:02:42,580 --> 00:02:45,666 Bender, you can't even vote. You're a convicted felon. 40 00:02:45,916 --> 00:02:48,210 Convicted, sentenced and executed. 41 00:02:48,294 --> 00:02:51,088 But Nixon passed a law thatsays ex-cons can vote again 42 00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:52,590 as long as they vote for Nixon. 43 00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:56,886 But Nixon's the worst president in history and alternate history. 44 00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:59,013 The rest of you aren't voting for him, are you? 45 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,348 Sure, we are! Why not? 46 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:02,141 He may not be perfect, 47 00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,685 but do we really want some unknown new guy? 48 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:08,022 I'll stick with the evil maniac I know, thank you. 49 00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,774 Well, I think we can do better. 50 00:03:09,857 --> 00:03:12,860 This year, I'm going to get involved in the political process 51 00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:14,904 and make my voice heard. 52 00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:16,739 What? 53 00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:25,373 Welcome to debate 3012, 54 00:03:25,456 --> 00:03:30,044 the 3,012th debate of the 3012 election year. 55 00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:31,921 We have a crowded field of candidates, 56 00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,548 so I will dispense with the informal terrorizing 57 00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:35,966 and begin the questions. 58 00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:37,968 Is this the political process? 59 00:03:38,052 --> 00:03:39,595 'Cause I'm here to get involved in it. 60 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:40,971 Shence! 61 00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:46,560 Question one. Will you pledge today to somehow reduce taxes 62 00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,896 while simultaneously lowering the deficit? 63 00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,940 Hey, that's a good idea. Sure. 64 00:03:51,023 --> 00:03:52,983 If it'll win me the election, then yes. 65 00:03:53,317 --> 00:03:56,320 We have a saying up in Alaska. 66 00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,696 That's all. 67 00:03:58,864 --> 00:03:59,990 Senator Travers? 68 00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:03,452 Look, let's be honest here. No one likes taxes, 69 00:04:03,536 --> 00:04:07,665 but they pay for our basic needs. Roads, schools, defense. 70 00:04:07,915 --> 00:04:11,335 If we hope to realize our aspirations as a great planet, 71 00:04:11,419 --> 00:04:15,714 we must each pay our fair share to achieve those noble goals. 72 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,850 Thank you, senator. A thoughtful and lucid answer. 73 00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,643 You will be destroyed! 74 00:04:27,726 --> 00:04:30,771 Question two. The environment. Yes or no? 75 00:04:31,021 --> 00:04:32,648 No. It's junk science. 76 00:04:32,731 --> 00:04:34,775 Two words. Condor attack. 77 00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,610 Don't want that. Got to say no. 78 00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:40,030 Now, just a minute. These are important issues. 79 00:04:40,114 --> 00:04:42,158 We can't just reduce them to sound bytes. 80 00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,120 According to reputable scientists... 81 00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,124 Enviromite! 82 00:04:58,090 --> 00:05:02,094 Hello? I'd like to volunteer. Is anyone lurking? 83 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,308 Hey, stop that. 84 00:05:09,018 --> 00:05:10,227 Senator Travers? 85 00:05:10,561 --> 00:05:12,104 That's no way to win an election. 86 00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:15,483 I give up. No one cares about my message. 87 00:05:15,566 --> 00:05:18,694 I never should have used the same PR guy as one hour hot dog. 88 00:05:19,528 --> 00:05:23,491 People will wait for something good. 89 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:25,159 No, don't quit. 90 00:05:25,409 --> 00:05:27,077 You have great ideas. 91 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:29,497 You just need to get them out there with social media. 92 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:33,542 Look, I posted your debate video on facebag. 93 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:35,836 10,000 views? 94 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:38,380 That's more than most water-skiing squirrels get. 95 00:05:38,464 --> 00:05:40,216 You really think I have a chance? 96 00:05:40,382 --> 00:05:41,717 Absolutely. 97 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:43,636 We just need to conceal your intelligence 98 00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:46,180 and honesty in a hipper, dumber package. 99 00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,349 Well, what have I got to lose? 100 00:05:48,432 --> 00:05:50,935 I'm making you my new campaign manager. 101 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:52,019 You, out! 102 00:05:52,269 --> 00:05:56,106 You haven't heard the last of... 103 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,030 As the Iowa caucus approaches, 104 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:07,576 the state's hippest citizens turned out for an old-fashioned flash mob. 105 00:06:08,786 --> 00:06:11,580 Morbo: Chris Travers got a bump in the New Hampshire polls today, 106 00:06:11,664 --> 00:06:15,751 where he simuldined in 250 diners at once via hologram. 107 00:06:16,001 --> 00:06:18,712 This pie at this diner is the best pie. 108 00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:25,344 Linda: Chris Travers wins the south California primary handily, 109 00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:28,639 thanks to a series of well-placed cameo appearances. 110 00:06:29,974 --> 00:06:31,642 Morbo: Super Tuesday is in the books, 111 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:35,813 with eurasia, Australia and Kentucky turning out in big numbers. 112 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:37,314 With the race a dead heat, 113 00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:40,484 it's all come down to a final tally at the convention. 114 00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,394 Calculon: And the first runner-up, 115 00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:53,122 who will take over if the nominee is caught with a dead girl, a live boy 116 00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,416 or any kind of sexy ghost, 117 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,084 Mr. Greenland! 118 00:07:01,005 --> 00:07:03,340 Which means our nominee is the senator 119 00:07:03,424 --> 00:07:06,135 from the nation-state of Hawaii, 120 00:07:06,385 --> 00:07:07,886 Chris Travers! 121 00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:11,932 He won the nomination! 122 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,767 We, the people, did it! 123 00:07:13,851 --> 00:07:16,770 It wasn't "we, the people," it was you, the mutant. 124 00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:19,440 Your insightful nagging really won us over. 125 00:07:19,523 --> 00:07:21,567 Yeah. You explained his positions 126 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:23,861 in a way even an idiot could understand. 127 00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:26,322 And that appealed to me, for whatever reason. 128 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:28,991 Thanks, guys, but we have a lot of work ahead of us. 129 00:07:29,199 --> 00:07:30,618 If we're going to win the election, 130 00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,369 we've all got to get involved. 131 00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,288 You said it! That's right. 132 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,040 If you want my opinion, 133 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,292 Nixon's only chance to defeat Travers 134 00:07:38,375 --> 00:07:40,711 is with filthy lies, dirty tricks 135 00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,297 and good old quaker thuggery. 136 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:46,133 And I'm just the guy for the job. 137 00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,524 I'm not sure if it's safe to talk. Are you wearing a wire? 138 00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:03,901 I'm 40% wire. 139 00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:05,569 Excellent. Now, listen. 140 00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,696 We got to get some dirt on this Travers guy. 141 00:08:07,780 --> 00:08:09,406 Really mcgovern him up. 142 00:08:09,490 --> 00:08:10,770 You know who mcgovern was, right? 143 00:08:11,033 --> 00:08:12,743 I don't even know who you are. 144 00:08:22,586 --> 00:08:23,796 Hello, dirt. 145 00:08:24,546 --> 00:08:27,424 I'll start at "n" for nude pictures. 146 00:08:28,258 --> 00:08:30,594 Aw, nobel prize? That's no good. 147 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,430 How about "a" for adultery? 148 00:08:34,223 --> 00:08:36,517 What? Straight-a transcript? 149 00:08:37,101 --> 00:08:39,853 Travers: Hey, what's that rifling sound? 150 00:08:39,937 --> 00:08:41,105 Uh-oh. 151 00:08:59,957 --> 00:09:02,710 All right. I'm going to catch Travers on video 152 00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,795 at this sleazy strip club. 153 00:09:06,088 --> 00:09:08,799 Bender: In and out of the club 13 times in one night. 154 00:09:09,133 --> 00:09:11,051 That's a record. Where's Travers? 155 00:09:11,135 --> 00:09:12,928 All I see is you going in and out. 156 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,638 Yeah, me. I set the record. 157 00:09:16,014 --> 00:09:19,143 This is as useless as those pictures you photoshopped. 158 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,854 Look, just give me one more chance. I got a source. 159 00:09:22,020 --> 00:09:25,816 Well, you did manage to get a tremendous urine sample. 160 00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:28,110 Let's not talk about that. 161 00:09:35,284 --> 00:09:36,577 Is that you, big throat? 162 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,287 In the flesh. 163 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,623 Listen, I need some dirt on senator Chris Travers. 164 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,083 How quaint. 165 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:48,213 Butlsuppose I should do my part for political intercourse. 166 00:09:48,297 --> 00:09:51,633 Come closer, and I'll expose what I know. 167 00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:53,677 There's nothing. 168 00:09:53,927 --> 00:09:56,764 He's as clean as a freshly waxed buttock. 169 00:09:57,014 --> 00:09:58,932 Hey! Did you put your tongue in my ear? 170 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,351 Certainly not. I don't have a tongue. 171 00:10:01,602 --> 00:10:03,437 Oh, good. 'Cause I don't have an ear. 172 00:10:05,898 --> 00:10:07,608 Come on, come on, fall. 173 00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:09,443 Fall, damn it, fall! 174 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,612 Well? What did you get on Travers? 175 00:10:11,820 --> 00:10:14,948 Is he a draft dodger? Sex offender? Sex dodger? 176 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:16,533 Nada. He's clean. 177 00:10:16,867 --> 00:10:19,161 I'm sorry, but there's not one unusual thing 178 00:10:19,244 --> 00:10:21,538 about senator Chris zaxxar Travers. 179 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:24,500 Wait, wait. His middle name is zaxxar? 180 00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:26,043 Sounds kind of alien. 181 00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,294 The voters hate aliens. 182 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:30,339 They sure do, but this guy's as human as you or me. 183 00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,676 I don't care what he is. We'll start a rumor that he's an alien. 184 00:10:34,885 --> 00:10:36,970 Hey, yeah. That'll cost him votes. 185 00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,139 Then, when he says he was born on this planet, 186 00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:41,391 we make him cough up his earth certificate. 187 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:43,602 Keep it on the news, put him on the defensive. 188 00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:49,066 Oh, this is sneaky. I feel a jowl movement coming on. 189 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:54,196 And that's how you end hunger. 190 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:55,823 Does anyone have any questions? 191 00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:57,991 I do, I do! Me, bender! 192 00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:00,744 Yes, the robot with the megaphone jumping up and down. 193 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:06,166 I have a question for senator c. Zaxxar Travers. 194 00:11:08,961 --> 00:11:11,004 Tell me, zaxxar, 195 00:11:11,088 --> 00:11:13,340 were you even born on earth? 196 00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:16,260 Because the earth constitution clearly states 197 00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:19,388 that only people born on earth can be president. 198 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,849 Isn't that right, justice Ruth bader ginsburg? 199 00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:24,268 You Ruth bader believe it! 200 00:11:24,518 --> 00:11:25,644 But I... 201 00:11:25,727 --> 00:11:27,521 Of course I was born on earth. 202 00:11:27,771 --> 00:11:29,189 Oh, really? 203 00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:32,609 Then we voters demand you release your earth certificate 204 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:34,486 so I can then claim it's a fake. 205 00:11:34,820 --> 00:11:37,531 I'm not going to dignify this preposterous charge. 206 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:39,283 Are there any realquesfions? 207 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:41,535 Scoop Chang, fox quote-unquote news. 208 00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:43,287 Senator, in the last 10 seconds, 209 00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,664 I've heard reports you weren't actually born on earth. 210 00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,374 Care to evade these compelling charges? 211 00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,293 No. I mean, yes. 212 00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,627 I mean... 213 00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:56,466 Okay, let's nip this earther movement in the bud 214 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,135 by releasing your earth certificate. 215 00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,219 Where were you born? 216 00:11:59,303 --> 00:12:01,138 Our lady of patriotism hospital. 217 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:03,307 Patriotism, good. Where is it? 218 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,559 Kenya. Cradle of humanity. 219 00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:09,354 Leela, this is just a stupid distraction from the issues. 220 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:12,357 Please don't look for my earth certificate. 221 00:12:12,649 --> 00:12:14,860 Hey! That was my favorite window. 222 00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:16,528 Ibefiersee what they want. 223 00:12:16,737 --> 00:12:18,572 We want an earthling, 224 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:20,782 not a dirty space thing! 225 00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:22,492 Why are you rednecks doing this? 226 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:24,244 Leela, don't stereotype. 227 00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:26,455 Why are you yokels doing this? 228 00:12:26,663 --> 00:12:29,458 I may be just a backwoods septic tank, 229 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,419 but I've had it up to here with you foreigners. 230 00:12:32,628 --> 00:12:34,296 But I come from earth. 231 00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:37,132 Then show us your earth whatchacallit. 232 00:12:37,341 --> 00:12:40,719 Long-form certificate of live birth. 233 00:12:40,802 --> 00:12:42,763 What would it take to convince you people? 234 00:12:42,846 --> 00:12:44,973 Would I have to have been born right before your eyes? 235 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:46,433 It wouldn't hurts. 236 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:47,768 Hit it, rubes! 237 00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,853 We don't want a foreigner! 238 00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,813 We want someone born here! 239 00:12:52,522 --> 00:12:54,232 Eh, I'm still working on that one. 240 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:57,319 What's wrong with you? 241 00:12:57,402 --> 00:13:00,238 Why are you sabotaging a decent, honest candidate? 242 00:13:00,364 --> 00:13:03,492 'Cause they won't let me near the hoover dam anymore. Ooh! 243 00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,661 What a bunch of xenophobes. 244 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:08,163 It's time to find senator Travers' earth certificate 245 00:13:08,246 --> 00:13:09,831 and put an end to this nonsense. 246 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:12,459 Who wants to help me break into the hospital in Kenya? 247 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:15,963 I'll come. As long as there's no xenophobes there. 248 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:19,716 I want to come, too. You? Why? 249 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:23,261 To prove that I can put divisive partisan politics aside 250 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:25,263 to participate in a break-in. 251 00:13:37,359 --> 00:13:38,860 Hosphalho! 252 00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:58,338 Shh! 253 00:13:58,422 --> 00:14:00,424 It's a herd of night watchmen. 254 00:14:08,932 --> 00:14:09,975 I found it! 255 00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,272 I don't understand. There's no earth certificate in here. 256 00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,523 Travers: No, there isn't. 257 00:14:19,651 --> 00:14:21,695 I told you not to look. 258 00:14:22,029 --> 00:14:23,947 So, you're not from earth after all. 259 00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,574 Of course I'm from earth. 260 00:14:25,907 --> 00:14:28,285 Wait a second. There's no earth certificate, 261 00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,162 but it does say your mother was admitted 262 00:14:30,287 --> 00:14:32,539 to the maternity ward. This morning! 263 00:14:35,125 --> 00:14:37,627 I should have known the truth would come out sooner or later. 264 00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:41,423 The fact is, I really was born on earth 265 00:14:41,506 --> 00:14:42,591 tomorrow. 266 00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,343 You see, I'm not from another planet. 267 00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,179 I'm from the future. 268 00:15:06,198 --> 00:15:08,700 This is crazy. You're from the future? 269 00:15:08,784 --> 00:15:11,495 Yes. I was sent back from the year 3028 270 00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,163 to prevent Nixon from getting elected. 271 00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:15,707 I was sent forward from the year 2000, 272 00:15:15,791 --> 00:15:18,085 but you don't hear me gassing on about it. 273 00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,879 But why would it be so important to stop Nixon? 274 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:24,007 Because of the horrific events he's going to set in motion. 275 00:15:24,091 --> 00:15:25,467 Oh, god. 276 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:27,511 I can't bring myself to describe it. 277 00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:29,644 Oh, well. Want to hear about how I got frozen? 278 00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:31,890 Not really. 279 00:15:33,058 --> 00:15:34,810 It all started with Nixon's promise 280 00:15:34,893 --> 00:15:37,687 to build an alien-proof fence around the solar system. 281 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:41,399 Without cheap alien labor for menial jobs like harvesting crops, 282 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:42,776 teaching math, 283 00:15:42,859 --> 00:15:45,779 and curing disease, the economy collapsed. 284 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:49,866 Starvation. Desperation. Despair. 285 00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,993 So far, so good. Then what? 286 00:15:52,202 --> 00:15:54,788 Travers: Unable to feed the world's starving masses, 287 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,581 Nixon took bold action. 288 00:15:56,832 --> 00:16:00,585 In this time of crisis, I call upon the soernt... 289 00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:02,629 I mean, silent majority. 290 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,639 Still good. 291 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,432 Travers: With the working class gone, 292 00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:17,561 robots were forced to do all the menial labor. 293 00:16:20,397 --> 00:16:23,316 Before long, they Rose up in revolt... 294 00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:33,577 Led by a bending unit named b.B. Rodriguez. 295 00:16:36,913 --> 00:16:40,417 Bender: Wait... I know a robot named b.B. Rodriguez! 296 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:44,171 Wait... I am a robot named b.B. Rodriguez. 297 00:16:44,254 --> 00:16:45,922 So, I become ruler of earth? 298 00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:47,174 Indeed. 299 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:50,093 Yes! In your face, high school guidance counselor. 300 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:54,014 Travers: The robots crushed our most treasured monuments and celebrities, 301 00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:56,808 but they couldn't crush the human spirit. 302 00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:58,059 We went into hiding, 303 00:16:58,143 --> 00:17:01,521 and after careful research, located a xeroxed copy 304 00:17:01,605 --> 00:17:04,274 of an ancient time travel code. 305 00:17:04,608 --> 00:17:05,942 Though I was only 15, 306 00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:09,529 mankind entrusted me with its last remaining suit and tie 307 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,364 and sent me back in time. 308 00:17:11,448 --> 00:17:13,200 I would be raised by my grandparents, 309 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,076 somehow get into Harvard law school, 310 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,287 become a community organizer, a senator, 311 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:18,663 and finally, 312 00:17:18,747 --> 00:17:20,582 defeat Richard Nixon. 313 00:17:23,251 --> 00:17:25,754 I escaped just as the robots arrived. 314 00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:30,175 All right, I'm low on bullets. Everybody, scooch together. 315 00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:33,011 It's not too late. You can still win the election. 316 00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:35,472 No, I can't. The earthers are right. 317 00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:37,182 I have no earth certificate. 318 00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:39,935 But you will have one in just a few hours. 319 00:17:40,018 --> 00:17:41,770 And everyone will know it's real, 320 00:17:41,937 --> 00:17:44,981 'cause we'll broadcast your birth on live TV. 321 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,818 If it's on TV, it has to be real. 322 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:53,573 Morbo interrupts bowling for quatloos 323 00:17:53,782 --> 00:17:57,827 to present breaking coverage of the birth of senator Chris Travers. 324 00:17:57,953 --> 00:18:00,247 We now go live to the delivery room, 325 00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:02,165 where we're already at there. 326 00:18:06,544 --> 00:18:08,546 Back, please. She needs room. 327 00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:10,298 Thanks. Not you. 328 00:18:10,382 --> 00:18:11,967 The camerawoman needs room. 329 00:18:12,133 --> 00:18:13,969 This is it, ladies and gentlemen. 330 00:18:14,052 --> 00:18:15,303 The candidate is... 331 00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:17,222 I believe he's crowning! 332 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,599 Push, mom, push. You can do it. 333 00:18:19,975 --> 00:18:22,978 I bet nothing comes out. Just you watch. 334 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:24,771 Here comes the head. 335 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:26,356 And now the neck. 336 00:18:26,690 --> 00:18:28,858 Linda, I'm down here at the pelvis, 337 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:32,070 and folks round these parts can't remember the last time 338 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:36,074 a time-traveling senator attended his own birth. Back to you. 339 00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:39,035 Thanks, morbo. You be careful down there. 340 00:18:40,578 --> 00:18:42,872 Linda: And the candidate is born! 341 00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:46,835 We have a birth. Repeat, we have a birth. 342 00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:52,215 He's got his own eyes. 343 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:54,467 Well, who'd have thunk it? 344 00:18:54,551 --> 00:18:58,096 He was born all right, just like he said. 345 00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:10,775 And with the polls now closed in every time zone worldwide, 346 00:19:10,942 --> 00:19:13,820 from tomorrow/and to the republic of yesterday, 347 00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:15,572 we are able to declare a winner. 348 00:19:15,864 --> 00:19:18,533 Chris Travers, who leapt backwards in time 349 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,870 and ahead in the polls, has defeated Richard Nixon. 350 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,957 Leela: He did it! He did it! 351 00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:29,794 Yes! Congratulations, Mr. President. 352 00:19:29,878 --> 00:19:31,504 It's all thanks to you, Leela. 353 00:19:31,588 --> 00:19:34,883 You stood by me and exposed my private medical records, 354 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,676 even after I begged you not to. 355 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,178 Aw, thanks. 356 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:41,514 Now, get up to that podium and change the world. 357 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,933 Too bad your pal Nixon lost, bender. 358 00:19:44,059 --> 00:19:45,643 You must be pretty glorked off. 359 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:48,480 Nope. I don't give a bag of butts who won the election. 360 00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:49,689 Nothing's going to change. 361 00:19:49,981 --> 00:19:51,858 What? How can you say that? 362 00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,943 Watch and learn. 363 00:19:56,446 --> 00:19:57,864 My fellow earthicans, 364 00:19:57,947 --> 00:20:01,117 I am honored and humbled to stand before you tonight 365 00:20:01,201 --> 00:20:03,119 as your next president. 366 00:20:03,370 --> 00:20:04,788 Together, we will... 367 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:06,373 Hey, what's going on? 368 00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:08,083 What's happening? 369 00:20:09,793 --> 00:20:11,878 You see, since Nixon wasn't elected, 370 00:20:11,961 --> 00:20:13,880 the robot uprising didn't happen 371 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,549 and Travers never got sent back from the future. 372 00:20:16,841 --> 00:20:18,676 It's politics 101. 373 00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,475 And the votes are in. 374 00:20:25,683 --> 00:20:27,602 Richard Nixon, running unopposed, 375 00:20:27,685 --> 00:20:30,480 has been reelected by a narrow landslide. 376 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,647 Say what? 377 00:20:31,689 --> 00:20:33,525 My fellow earthicans, 378 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,736 I am honored and humbled to gloat before you tonight 379 00:20:36,820 --> 00:20:39,197 as your next president. 380 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,826 Wow, it really doesn't matter who you vote for. 381 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:46,371 At least we tried to make a difference by supporting senator... 382 00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:48,123 Senator... 383 00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:49,541 What was his name again? 384 00:20:49,624 --> 00:20:50,875 I don't remember. 385 00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,794 We never even left this building. 386 00:20:52,877 --> 00:20:53,878 What? 387 00:20:53,962 --> 00:20:57,424 Nixon always wins!