1 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:39,927 "Bagle Bites" 2 00:00:40,438 --> 00:00:43,983 {\an8}- Oh my God, that's something a lunatic would say to himself - Yes, no joke 3 00:00:44,332 --> 00:00:47,877 {\an8}“Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening "Pizza at dinner time" 4 00:00:48,002 --> 00:00:51,005 {\an8}Yes, it's something you might see written in blood On a wall at a crime scene 5 00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:55,593 {\an8}Also, don't you bring pizza in the evening? And pizza at dinner time has the same meaning? 6 00:00:55,718 --> 00:00:57,887 {\an8}No, not for this man He's lost his fucking mind 7 00:00:58,846 --> 00:01:00,223 Come in 8 00:01:01,432 --> 00:01:07,363 {\an8}Well, I'd rather die I would like to request this service from you 9 00:01:07,563 --> 00:01:09,649 This is not a strong opening Whatever this is 10 00:01:09,758 --> 00:01:12,636 {\an8}But I have final exams next week I no longer have marijuana 11 00:01:12,985 --> 00:01:16,239 {\an8}I need it to study Can I borrow some from you? 12 00:01:16,569 --> 00:01:20,323 - Well, well, well -Aren't you very rude? 13 00:01:20,516 --> 00:01:24,144 {\an8}For your sake, I can't concentrate without him I have a lot of work to do 14 00:01:24,372 --> 00:01:25,748 Give us compliments 15 00:01:25,915 --> 00:01:28,214 - What? - Compliment us, compliment each one of us 16 00:01:28,269 --> 00:01:31,910 Yes, and make it good too Say something we don't even know about ourselves 17 00:01:33,089 --> 00:01:34,722 {\an8}Well... 18 00:01:35,466 --> 00:01:41,097 {\an8}(John), you are one of the few people who They walk at the right speed in the mall 19 00:01:42,181 --> 00:01:46,144 {\an8}- Oh my god, this is actually huge - True 20 00:01:46,472 --> 00:01:51,852 And Ted, if there's blood in the house I like that I know it's not your blood 21 00:01:52,066 --> 00:01:54,986 {\an8}This is excellent, Blair. Johnny, get the weed 22 00:01:55,111 --> 00:01:57,029 {\an8}- I'll get the hashish package - Thank you 23 00:01:59,657 --> 00:02:01,075 - Damn - What? 24 00:02:01,367 --> 00:02:03,870 -We don't have it anymore either - That's great 25 00:02:03,934 --> 00:02:05,488 {\an8}Well, just an idea 26 00:02:05,913 --> 00:02:08,541 {\an8}Maybe we'll give it up for a while Would this be healthy? 27 00:02:08,875 --> 00:02:10,585 Johnny, look into my eyes 28 00:02:12,253 --> 00:02:14,297 Get out of this, do you want us to die? 29 00:02:14,839 --> 00:02:17,425 Well, what do you want me to do? Our regular supplier is out of town 30 00:02:17,967 --> 00:02:20,219 - What about Chris Blythe? - Who is this? 31 00:02:20,470 --> 00:02:23,222 {\an8}He's that strange boy in our school Who owns a pet snake 32 00:02:23,431 --> 00:02:24,807 {\an8}And he always looks wet 33 00:02:24,932 --> 00:02:27,185 {\an8}- Yeah, he sure gets high - Hey, no 34 00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:29,353 {\an8}I can't buy weed From a 17 year old boy 35 00:02:29,439 --> 00:02:31,775 - No, it's okay, he's 23 -Oh my God 36 00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:33,318 {\an8}Yes, he still lives with his parents 37 00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:35,597 {\an8}I always see them from the upstairs window in the house 38 00:02:36,569 --> 00:02:37,945 {\an8}But they don't seem to be moving at all 39 00:02:38,065 --> 00:02:40,275 His mother holds a yellow newspaper 40 00:02:51,584 --> 00:02:54,629 - Hello, Gus. Hello Mrs. Bennett, I have your mail 41 00:02:54,837 --> 00:02:56,422 Thank you very much 42 00:02:56,714 --> 00:03:00,093 - How is your new wife's eyeball? -Things were difficult 43 00:03:00,718 --> 00:03:04,639 It turns over from time to time So I have to shake it for 7 minutes 44 00:03:05,056 --> 00:03:07,975 But the doctor says our lives will be like this For the next few months 45 00:03:08,267 --> 00:03:11,687 - Please send her my love - I will, thank you very much 46 00:03:18,277 --> 00:03:20,863 -Here's your newspaper, Matty. Oh my God, Susan. 47 00:03:21,364 --> 00:03:24,117 Why do you have to involve yourself in everyone's affairs? 48 00:03:24,617 --> 00:03:27,286 A man must shake his wife Like a Magic Eight ball. 49 00:03:27,411 --> 00:03:30,665 - He doesn't want to talk about it - I was showing him my interest 50 00:03:31,124 --> 00:03:34,961 People love when you care about their lives This makes them feel special 51 00:03:35,503 --> 00:03:36,879 Would you look at this? 52 00:03:37,004 --> 00:03:39,590 3 boys were arrested because they vandalized the church 53 00:03:39,924 --> 00:03:41,968 -Oh my God, really? - Yes 54 00:03:42,093 --> 00:03:46,722 It was written here that they were high and stormed the place And they ran their bars across the organ keyboard 55 00:03:46,848 --> 00:03:48,224 - No - Yes 56 00:03:48,349 --> 00:03:51,227 It lasted about half an hour Before Father Odell finally stopped them 57 00:03:51,352 --> 00:03:55,398 Look, Matty, it says all boys They go to John Hancock High School. 58 00:03:55,523 --> 00:03:57,733 -It's John's school. - A group of delinquents 59 00:03:57,859 --> 00:03:59,569 And there's a quote from Father Odile. 60 00:03:59,902 --> 00:04:05,032 “This is the latest example of the fallout Decline of family values 61 00:04:05,783 --> 00:04:11,455 “When parents are involved in their children’s lives "This kind of thing doesn't happen." 62 00:04:12,373 --> 00:04:15,501 - Matty, what if this is John? - It wasn't John, relax 63 00:04:15,626 --> 00:04:18,504 Well, maybe we should get more involved in his life 64 00:04:19,297 --> 00:04:20,673 Finally 65 00:04:20,798 --> 00:04:24,969 I will never forgive myself if I become Johnny. Like church kids who do drugs 66 00:04:25,511 --> 00:04:26,888 And here's the rest 67 00:04:27,054 --> 00:04:30,224 The damned gas station made the worst tuna sandwich I've had it in my life 68 00:04:30,516 --> 00:04:32,518 - This was two weeks ago - Yes 69 00:04:32,643 --> 00:04:35,563 She was stuck behind a breakfast from Denny's. - (Matty) 70 00:04:36,856 --> 00:04:41,068 How about we spend some valuable time? Together tonight please? 71 00:04:41,402 --> 00:04:42,778 Well, it doesn't matter 72 00:04:44,071 --> 00:04:45,448 Thanks, Matty 73 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:51,037 Fuck Beetle Bailey! They're messing with my tax money 74 00:05:04,467 --> 00:05:07,803 - Hello, can I help you? - Hello, yes, we... 75 00:05:08,512 --> 00:05:12,141 -We're friends with Chris, from school - Yes, of course, you can come in 76 00:05:12,308 --> 00:05:13,684 The boys are playing 77 00:05:19,565 --> 00:05:21,275 “He smashed his head.” “Cut off the legs first.” 78 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,277 - "Kill him" “Die, you ugly man.” 79 00:05:23,402 --> 00:05:25,613 “Cut off his fucking head.” “Dude, I stabbed him.” 80 00:05:25,738 --> 00:05:27,114 "Fuck, I'm dying." 81 00:05:27,615 --> 00:05:28,991 "Who's there?" 82 00:05:31,369 --> 00:05:33,829 For heaven's sake 83 00:05:34,121 --> 00:05:36,874 Olbert dodged your wand He stabbed you with his sword 84 00:05:36,999 --> 00:05:41,253 You will get 12 points of damage While Olbert sucks your blood 85 00:05:41,379 --> 00:05:44,131 Are you really going to kill me right before we find the temple? 86 00:05:44,382 --> 00:05:46,884 Fuck you, Chris. This is not appropriate 87 00:05:47,009 --> 00:05:49,553 Yes, Chris, what is this? We can't play without brent. 88 00:05:49,679 --> 00:05:51,472 These are the laws 89 00:05:51,639 --> 00:05:54,100 If you don't like my game You can leave whenever you want 90 00:05:54,225 --> 00:05:57,395 You know what? Fuck this then I want my velvet dice back 91 00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:02,775 -You've been almost despicable since you kissed a girl - Fuck you and your game 92 00:06:02,984 --> 00:06:04,610 - Come on, guys - Okay, that's okay 93 00:06:04,735 --> 00:06:06,779 Okay, goodbye Leave from here 94 00:06:06,904 --> 00:06:09,824 Now I no longer have to insert Your missing father is in the plot 95 00:06:09,991 --> 00:06:11,701 - This is nonsense - Let's leave from here 96 00:06:13,619 --> 00:06:16,539 - Hello - John Bennett, what on earth are you doing here? 97 00:06:16,789 --> 00:06:20,876 Well, my family and I were hoping you would Some marijuana we can buy 98 00:06:21,002 --> 00:06:22,378 This is not a good time, okay? 99 00:06:22,503 --> 00:06:28,259 I wasted a masterpiece of the D&D campaign. On a group of ungrateful despicable people 100 00:06:30,261 --> 00:06:32,680 I'm really sorry to hear this We'll make it quick then 101 00:06:32,930 --> 00:06:35,266 I'm too angry to sell weed now, okay? 102 00:06:35,391 --> 00:06:37,810 I want to lie in the dark And look at the shining stars 103 00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:42,398 -You're angry about your masterpiece, right? - Absolutely 104 00:06:42,690 --> 00:06:45,317 - Well, maybe we can help you -What do you mean? 105 00:06:45,985 --> 00:06:48,863 Well, maybe we can play your game 106 00:06:50,031 --> 00:06:51,782 And we can get some weed While we do it 107 00:06:51,907 --> 00:06:56,370 I don't want to start this adventure again With a new group, sorry 108 00:06:56,495 --> 00:06:58,789 Come on, don't you want these bastards to be jealous? 109 00:06:58,914 --> 00:07:02,251 Yes, think of the looks on their faces When you do this with new boys 110 00:07:03,753 --> 00:07:06,297 - What on earth was that? -What do you mean? I was rolling the dice 111 00:07:06,422 --> 00:07:07,882 No, you didn't That's not how it was 112 00:07:08,007 --> 00:07:10,342 - Yes -You were biting your lower lip 113 00:07:10,468 --> 00:07:14,096 - Yes, I feel very excited about the game - Why did you throw him in his face? 114 00:07:14,221 --> 00:07:18,142 - Have you played D&D before? - No, but we learn quickly 115 00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:20,686 Wait a minute, comrades Is it even worth it? 116 00:07:20,811 --> 00:07:22,271 I don't know anything about this game 117 00:07:22,396 --> 00:07:24,398 Is it the game with hungry hippos? 118 00:07:24,523 --> 00:07:26,150 - Hey, what am I thinking? -Forget it 119 00:07:26,275 --> 00:07:29,361 -You will turn the art form into a farce - Okay, wait a minute, just wait 120 00:07:29,904 --> 00:07:31,280 How about we make it interesting? 121 00:07:31,655 --> 00:07:34,950 If we can beat your game She will give us hashish 122 00:07:36,327 --> 00:07:39,955 Better pursuit provides cannabis 123 00:07:40,247 --> 00:07:41,749 You just said that like you thought it rhymed 124 00:07:42,083 --> 00:07:44,460 -You don't think it rhymes, do you? -Just think about it 125 00:07:44,794 --> 00:07:49,590 D&D game with realistic stakes Imagine how alive you will feel 126 00:07:51,050 --> 00:07:53,344 Okay, we'll do this But we must play at your house 127 00:07:53,594 --> 00:07:55,304 My son has to wake up early in the morning To go to school 128 00:08:02,061 --> 00:08:05,731 Because this is your first time playing it I prepared character sheets in advance 129 00:08:05,856 --> 00:08:08,818 - So we can go directly to the game - It says that I am a sorcerer. What is this? 130 00:08:09,193 --> 00:08:11,237 - He's like a magician -Do I get the weekend off? 131 00:08:11,612 --> 00:08:14,365 - This is your first question? -I will start a new job 132 00:08:14,490 --> 00:08:16,242 I guess it makes sense to know What is the working hours? 133 00:08:16,826 --> 00:08:20,913 - A poet? What does this mean? -He is a popular singer, he sings songs 134 00:08:21,330 --> 00:08:25,876 Wow, that's helpful: “Damn, that's a dragon Don't worry, here's Material Girl." 135 00:08:26,043 --> 00:08:28,671 - Blair, who are you? - I am a thief 136 00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:31,799 - What do I steal things then? - Yes, as in (The Hobbit). 137 00:08:32,049 --> 00:08:34,093 - Like Dildo Baggins. - What? 138 00:08:34,260 --> 00:08:36,637 - (Dildo Baggins), (The Hobbit) - But (Bilbo) 139 00:08:36,929 --> 00:08:38,305 - Really? - Yes 140 00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,015 His name is Dildo Bilbo. 141 00:08:40,307 --> 00:08:45,229 - Hello boys, what are you doing? - Hello mom, we just... 142 00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:47,731 We're just playing a game This is our friend Chris. 143 00:08:47,898 --> 00:08:49,275 Hello Chris 144 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:52,987 - Johnny, did you warn him about the toilet in here? - What about the toilet? 145 00:08:53,195 --> 00:08:57,116 Chris, if you're going to use the bathroom You need to know 5 things 146 00:08:57,241 --> 00:09:02,079 - We're actually in the middle of a game, mom - I know, this sounds very interesting 147 00:09:02,538 --> 00:09:04,206 Can your father and I play? 148 00:09:04,665 --> 00:09:06,500 - Yes, that's not what they like - I will... 149 00:09:06,625 --> 00:09:08,794 - Great, see you later - No, Matty, wait, wait 150 00:09:08,961 --> 00:09:14,258 Johnny, we just want to spend some time with you To care about your interests 151 00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:17,511 You know, this departure is intended for 5 heroes 152 00:09:17,636 --> 00:09:20,055 I have additional character sheets If they want to play 153 00:09:22,808 --> 00:09:24,185 Of course, yes, of course 154 00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,604 This is great 155 00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:29,732 Now, should I wear makeup? Or is this good? 156 00:09:29,857 --> 00:09:33,068 - That's good - Mr. Bennett, you will take the role of priest 157 00:09:33,486 --> 00:09:35,362 Mrs. Bennet, you'll be the fighter 158 00:09:36,238 --> 00:09:39,909 -I like this, like Nancy Crawford. - What? 159 00:09:40,284 --> 00:09:41,660 Our neighbor 160 00:09:41,785 --> 00:09:46,540 She was suffering from cancer She was a fighter for a while 161 00:09:47,041 --> 00:09:51,420 But that wasn't enough God abandoned that poor woman 162 00:09:51,795 --> 00:09:54,673 I don't remember what type of cancer she had 163 00:09:54,882 --> 00:09:59,345 - But I remember that she lost a large piece of her tongue - Could the priest be deaf? 164 00:09:59,595 --> 00:10:03,265 All information about the character you will play Registered on the Personalities page 165 00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:06,769 I have assigned you your class But you can choose the race(s) 166 00:10:07,061 --> 00:10:09,104 - White - What? 167 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:11,899 - You said I could choose a race - No 168 00:10:12,024 --> 00:10:13,776 Can I choose white instead of one of the veins? 169 00:10:13,901 --> 00:10:18,822 - No, I mean goblin, half-goblin, dwarf - Why don't we just start the game? 170 00:10:19,114 --> 00:10:21,200 Cancer, this is not good 171 00:10:21,659 --> 00:10:29,333 Our adventure begins in an old, dilapidated pub At the edge of a mysterious forest 172 00:10:40,261 --> 00:10:41,637 I really hate this 173 00:10:49,664 --> 00:10:51,833 "You are a group of adventurous travelers." 174 00:10:51,958 --> 00:10:56,254 “And you've heard stories "About a great hidden temple full of gold." 175 00:10:56,629 --> 00:11:01,092 He was guarded by the cult of Eredor. Until they all disappeared." 176 00:11:01,509 --> 00:11:07,599 “It is said that he is a dissident cult follower "He frequents this bar now, and he has a map of the temple." 177 00:11:08,224 --> 00:11:09,976 Well, where do we start? 178 00:11:10,268 --> 00:11:13,855 The sooner we find the map The sooner we get the treasure 179 00:11:14,105 --> 00:11:15,607 Well, maybe the bartender knows something 180 00:11:19,444 --> 00:11:22,655 - Yes, I want Sam Adams. - Sorry, good priest 181 00:11:22,822 --> 00:11:24,657 But we only serve wine here 182 00:11:25,325 --> 00:11:28,119 -Are you despicable? -I want a glass of wine 183 00:11:28,244 --> 00:11:32,207 He definitely won't drink alcohol He can get Dr. Pepper. 184 00:11:32,624 --> 00:11:36,336 (Dr. Pepper)? These are strange words 185 00:11:36,544 --> 00:11:39,214 Oh my God, it's happening At that Mexican restaurant again 186 00:11:39,339 --> 00:11:40,715 Guys, look 187 00:11:44,719 --> 00:11:46,095 I bet he's a cult member 188 00:11:50,517 --> 00:11:52,769 Strong man, can we talk to you a little? 189 00:11:54,229 --> 00:11:55,605 They talked 190 00:11:56,814 --> 00:11:59,943 Poor guy I bet he has anorexia 191 00:12:00,193 --> 00:12:05,532 -You know? Your body is beautiful just the way it is - Oh my God, here we are 192 00:12:05,657 --> 00:12:07,242 Are you the man with the map? 193 00:12:09,285 --> 00:12:11,579 - (Steven Tyler) - Let him talk 194 00:12:12,622 --> 00:12:14,958 I was one of Eridor's followers. 195 00:12:15,959 --> 00:12:19,546 In our attempt to cleanse this world We gathered at the temple 196 00:12:20,255 --> 00:12:23,550 We awakened a great power from another world 197 00:12:24,509 --> 00:12:26,094 But she was very strong 198 00:12:26,594 --> 00:12:27,971 Very evil 199 00:12:28,096 --> 00:12:30,640 Now, that might lead to it To destroy our entire kingdom 200 00:12:31,266 --> 00:12:35,144 Can I hear you sing: "And I'm thinking, what a wonderful world." 201 00:12:35,270 --> 00:12:37,939 Do you have a map to the evil temple? 202 00:12:38,523 --> 00:12:40,108 I vowed never to return 203 00:12:41,651 --> 00:12:43,361 So you can have my map 204 00:12:47,949 --> 00:12:50,201 - Thank you -I think it's a gay bar 205 00:12:50,493 --> 00:12:53,121 - I mean, I don't care, but it is -Are there toilets here? 206 00:12:54,747 --> 00:12:57,166 "Goblin, goblin" 207 00:12:58,084 --> 00:12:59,460 I'll just lock myself up 208 00:13:12,765 --> 00:13:18,479 It seems that we should follow up on this aspect a little Via... (Warlock Woods) 209 00:13:19,147 --> 00:13:21,357 - Do you think we'll see a centaur? - Maybe 210 00:13:22,066 --> 00:13:24,694 Is there such a thing as an inverted centaur? 211 00:13:25,028 --> 00:13:28,114 Like a naked man with a horse's head Walking around the place 212 00:13:28,239 --> 00:13:32,577 Yes, a naked man's body with a flopping penis With a big horse head? 213 00:13:32,744 --> 00:13:34,621 - Yeah, like the worst of the two? - Yes 214 00:13:34,954 --> 00:13:36,789 He just shows up and makes everyone feel uncomfortable? 215 00:13:36,956 --> 00:13:38,666 - Yeah, come home, man - Go home 216 00:13:38,875 --> 00:13:40,251 Nobody wants you here 217 00:13:40,376 --> 00:13:42,128 Yes, no one wants to see a horse's head And the man's penis 218 00:13:42,253 --> 00:13:45,048 Just wandering down the street She defecates from time to time 219 00:13:45,173 --> 00:13:49,510 Yeah, man, this is a public park Get out of here with your weird arrangement 220 00:13:49,636 --> 00:13:52,930 Yeah, there's families here, man A boy's birthday party is being held there 221 00:13:53,056 --> 00:13:54,432 Leave from here 222 00:13:54,557 --> 00:13:56,768 - I'm angry now - The damned inverted centaur 223 00:13:57,185 --> 00:13:58,770 Isn't that what Gary Busey is? 224 00:14:01,356 --> 00:14:04,776 Greetings, adventurers Come browse my merchandise 225 00:14:05,109 --> 00:14:06,778 Look, dwarf merchant 226 00:14:06,903 --> 00:14:12,450 I have healing potions and sleep potions Short swords and two-handed swords 227 00:14:12,617 --> 00:14:16,329 Oh my God, look at these things OJ will be very pleased here 228 00:14:16,579 --> 00:14:20,041 What about you, thief? What do you think of a new dagger? 229 00:14:20,166 --> 00:14:24,379 But be careful, I have magic wards To punish those who steal from stores 230 00:14:24,545 --> 00:14:26,923 Well, you know, usually When someone steals 231 00:14:27,048 --> 00:14:30,218 - This is the result of a greater social imbalance - For heaven's sake, Blair. 232 00:14:30,343 --> 00:14:31,844 Can we just end this? And we get weed? 233 00:14:31,969 --> 00:14:33,888 Do you have sunscreen for my fucking head? 234 00:14:34,055 --> 00:14:39,268 It says that you sell weapons, potions, and more What is more? 235 00:14:39,602 --> 00:14:42,689 I have storage bags Amulets and jewelry 236 00:14:42,897 --> 00:14:46,234 - And an immovable stick - What is an immovable stick? 237 00:14:46,359 --> 00:14:49,070 It is a stick that is held in place It cannot be moved 238 00:14:49,487 --> 00:14:52,156 - Well, how did you get her here? -Can we just kill this guy? 239 00:14:52,281 --> 00:14:55,660 I'm Susan, by the way "Susan the Destroyer" 240 00:14:56,077 --> 00:15:00,289 -Do you enjoy your work in sales? - Oh my God, every damn time 241 00:15:00,415 --> 00:15:03,292 Guys, we gotta keep moving So buy what you want and let's go 242 00:15:03,418 --> 00:15:09,465 Okay, I'll take... a lighter A torch and 91 meters of rope 243 00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:12,969 And a sanitary towel 244 00:15:13,678 --> 00:15:16,806 - That's a strange word - Suction stick 245 00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,402 This is it, it's the Temple of Eridor. 246 00:15:37,201 --> 00:15:40,580 -You won't be able to get past me - What excellent rules 247 00:15:40,705 --> 00:15:44,500 This is my land, either you leave or you die 248 00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:47,503 Well mom, you're the fighter Go and teach him a lesson 249 00:15:48,755 --> 00:15:53,176 Well, I can sure try 250 00:15:57,764 --> 00:15:59,140 Directly on your nose 251 00:16:02,435 --> 00:16:03,811 What do you think we should do, Dad? 252 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,856 My father? 253 00:16:07,607 --> 00:16:08,983 My father? 254 00:16:10,568 --> 00:16:12,487 Matty, can you pay attention, please? 255 00:16:12,862 --> 00:16:16,657 I played Russian roulette in Vietnam. Sorry if this game doesn't catch my attention 256 00:16:16,866 --> 00:16:20,578 The ghoul gets angrier Time is running out 257 00:16:20,703 --> 00:16:23,998 But there may be a way to bypass it 258 00:16:24,123 --> 00:16:26,459 Teddy, play something on your lute Maybe you can charm him 259 00:16:26,834 --> 00:16:32,715 Well, then, Mr. Ogre I would like to sing a poem to you 260 00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:34,634 This is the story of the movie "Philadelphia" 261 00:16:36,302 --> 00:16:41,140 There once was a lawyer named Andrew Beckett. "It worked very well." 262 00:16:41,432 --> 00:16:45,353 “But none of his colleagues knew about his autoimmune deficiency. 263 00:16:45,645 --> 00:16:49,649 “Despite the many legal issues "Achieve a good reputation" 264 00:16:49,941 --> 00:16:54,862 “One day his co-worker looked over to his face and saw a blight.” 265 00:16:56,072 --> 00:17:00,451 His manager discovered that he was suffering from AIDS. So they fired him." 266 00:17:00,868 --> 00:17:04,580 “He found a black lawyer and asked for help But the man said he didn't want to get it." 267 00:17:04,831 --> 00:17:08,709 “Then an office worker fired him It was AIDS, he knew. 268 00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:11,754 The black lawyer said Wow, you're being treated like the rest of us 269 00:17:11,879 --> 00:17:14,465 “For heaven's sake, I'll do this.” - Ted, that's good, we succeeded 270 00:17:22,557 --> 00:17:26,269 - Oh my God, I can't see anything - Does anyone have a lamp? 271 00:17:26,686 --> 00:17:28,062 Susan, your torch 272 00:17:28,938 --> 00:17:30,314 Okay 273 00:17:32,817 --> 00:17:35,111 Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you 274 00:17:36,237 --> 00:17:37,613 Come on, this way 275 00:17:43,817 --> 00:17:45,898 Oh shit, I think this is ghoul droppings 276 00:18:11,273 --> 00:18:14,902 Wow, look at this place 277 00:18:15,444 --> 00:18:17,905 I feel like I'm in an art museum 278 00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:27,623 To pass, we want 4 of the same kind 279 00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:30,334 Damn, we're going to have to give them a whiff? 280 00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:33,754 Simple task and easy to find 281 00:18:34,004 --> 00:18:37,049 Yes, they will discover the wallet which cannot be transferred 282 00:18:37,174 --> 00:18:40,803 What howls without lips What runs without legs? 283 00:18:41,011 --> 00:18:45,015 What's always at the bottom? And what he should always eat 284 00:18:45,182 --> 00:18:47,518 I just heard this and I don't remember any of it 285 00:18:47,685 --> 00:18:49,353 I guess we'll have to solve the puzzle to continue 286 00:18:54,900 --> 00:18:56,902 - Damn - This is fucking amazing, Blair. 287 00:18:57,027 --> 00:18:59,405 Okay, okay, don't panic We just have to solve the puzzle 288 00:18:59,655 --> 00:19:03,242 Something howls without lips And something running without legs 289 00:19:03,367 --> 00:19:05,911 He runs without legs A man in the Paralympics 290 00:19:06,287 --> 00:19:09,915 - A diabetic patient chases an ice cream truck -Something he should always eat 291 00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:12,334 - Social welfare queens - Shut up and let me think 292 00:19:12,668 --> 00:19:15,004 Well, we know it should be A group of 4, right? 293 00:19:15,171 --> 00:19:16,547 (Boyz to Man) 294 00:19:16,672 --> 00:19:18,048 - Great - True? 295 00:19:18,174 --> 00:19:20,384 Wait a minute, if there are 4 of them Shouldn't their name be Boys for Men? 296 00:19:20,676 --> 00:19:23,721 - Yeah, I don't think this will work - 4 of them, (Boys for Men) 297 00:19:23,846 --> 00:19:26,724 -This will work better - Yes, but maybe not with the right crowd 298 00:19:26,849 --> 00:19:30,603 Wait a minute, it's the elements Water, wind, soil and fire 299 00:19:31,061 --> 00:19:32,646 For God's sake, Blair, you're right 300 00:19:34,148 --> 00:19:35,524 Fireball 301 00:19:41,697 --> 00:19:43,115 Okay, I'll take care of the soil issue 302 00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:53,584 Does anyone have water? 303 00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:56,921 Written on my paper I have a bottle of holy water 304 00:19:57,546 --> 00:19:59,882 Hey, that's what it is 305 00:20:00,007 --> 00:20:04,261 - Oh my God, I was peeing in it - Well, Dad, urine consists mainly of water 306 00:20:04,428 --> 00:20:07,473 - It's not urinary, it has a lot of pulp - For heaven's sake, just try 307 00:20:16,148 --> 00:20:17,858 Don't smile at me, you weirdo 308 00:20:19,443 --> 00:20:22,863 - Well, now we just need the wind - Teddy, you can blow on his hands 309 00:20:22,988 --> 00:20:24,365 You are a poet, you have a long breath 310 00:20:25,407 --> 00:20:27,618 For heaven's sake, I'll blow on people In exchange for hashish 311 00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:04,071 You know what's sad? It's the only vacation we've ever taken as a family 312 00:21:04,572 --> 00:21:10,411 Guys, is this really worth it? I mean, do we need weed that much? 313 00:21:10,619 --> 00:21:14,206 Are you kidding me? Do you want to hear Eddie Vedder's voice? With a brain without hashish? 314 00:21:14,331 --> 00:21:15,833 Oh my God, I didn't think of that 315 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,460 I watched Roadhouse without weed Once upon a time, Johnny 316 00:21:18,586 --> 00:21:19,962 It was so terrible 317 00:21:20,087 --> 00:21:24,174 Patrick Swayze has sex in the same breath The pool where he killed a man a week ago 318 00:21:24,383 --> 00:21:27,052 - Stop, man - John, none of what we like is good 319 00:21:34,518 --> 00:21:36,896 Look, he's a cult follower 320 00:21:38,981 --> 00:21:41,233 Please excuse me? Hello 321 00:21:42,192 --> 00:21:46,864 -Did you...did you come to save us? -No... 322 00:21:47,448 --> 00:21:49,700 There aren't many black people in Chris's world, right? 323 00:21:50,034 --> 00:21:51,410 You arrived on time 324 00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:58,542 The famous and powerful Dralhol It will soon end existence as we know it 325 00:21:58,792 --> 00:22:02,338 Yeah, Dralhul doesn't mean as much as you think Out of this place 326 00:22:02,463 --> 00:22:04,089 We just heard about it 327 00:22:04,381 --> 00:22:11,722 He is a scary being from the underworld I'm the only one left to keep him away 328 00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:16,810 - How are we going to kill him? -The monster is almost invincible 329 00:22:17,186 --> 00:22:22,441 But, there is one way In order to return him to his kingdom, you must... 330 00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:28,155 - What on earth is this, Dad? - What? You've sped things up 331 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,324 He was about to give us the information Which we need 332 00:22:30,449 --> 00:22:34,954 - Information that will make us win the game -We were very close and I ruined everything 333 00:22:35,329 --> 00:22:38,958 - Why are you even here? -We were trying to protect you 334 00:22:39,458 --> 00:22:40,834 What? 335 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:45,506 We wanted to get more involved in your life Let's make sure you don't get into trouble 336 00:22:45,673 --> 00:22:47,049 Mom, any trouble? 337 00:22:47,174 --> 00:22:50,886 I don't know what I'll do if you end up with me Like those young men in church 338 00:22:51,804 --> 00:22:55,140 - What guys? - There were 3 boys in the newspaper 339 00:22:55,808 --> 00:22:58,811 They used drugs and were arrested 340 00:22:58,978 --> 00:23:03,107 Father Odile says: The reason is the absence of family values 341 00:23:03,232 --> 00:23:06,568 We don't want you to go down the wrong path, Johnny. 342 00:23:07,194 --> 00:23:09,446 We just want to be a bigger part of your life 343 00:23:09,863 --> 00:23:14,660 Hey, you're here to help us win the game In order to keep Johnny off drugs 344 00:23:14,994 --> 00:23:17,830 - Yes -Does anyone want to intervene? 345 00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:22,751 Mom, thank you You're trying to keep me off drugs 346 00:23:23,877 --> 00:23:25,254 I love you 347 00:23:26,088 --> 00:23:28,424 Now, how about we win this game? 348 00:23:29,675 --> 00:23:33,137 Dralhul bursts into the room With a fiery flame erupting 349 00:23:41,895 --> 00:23:44,898 Great, it's the devil we don't know how to kill 350 00:23:45,024 --> 00:23:47,568 Because Matty refuses to come Anger management classes 351 00:23:47,693 --> 00:23:50,195 - Fuck your mother - Hey, maybe we can still do this 352 00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:56,410 I'll throw the magic missile 3 points of damage 353 00:23:56,535 --> 00:23:59,997 Well, 3 points of damage from the mysterious explosion 354 00:24:00,164 --> 00:24:04,126 turn around (dralhall) It spews a cone of black flame 355 00:24:04,251 --> 00:24:07,254 He gets 38 points of damage I died 356 00:24:07,713 --> 00:24:10,007 Johnny, no! 357 00:24:10,132 --> 00:24:12,843 - Matty, do something - For heaven's sake, Susan. 358 00:24:12,968 --> 00:24:14,386 She screamed in my fucking ear 359 00:24:14,762 --> 00:24:19,641 Well, can I heal him? I mean, that's what I do, right? 360 00:24:19,767 --> 00:24:21,143 There was nothing left to heal 361 00:24:21,685 --> 00:24:26,023 So, I will shock the devil And hit him on the head like the last guy 362 00:24:27,691 --> 00:24:32,529 Well, before you can get to it He turns around with his spiky tail and pierces your chest 363 00:24:32,821 --> 00:24:37,284 - It causes you 32 points of damage, you are dead -Finally 364 00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:42,414 Hey, like a thief, it's written on my character page I carry the potion of darkness 365 00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:43,999 -You do - Okay 366 00:24:44,708 --> 00:24:46,085 I will use it 367 00:24:48,378 --> 00:24:50,964 And I sneak up behind Dralhul. "When the torch goes out" 368 00:24:52,216 --> 00:24:56,261 Stab in the Back, page 40 of the Player's Handbook This is very smart 369 00:24:56,553 --> 00:24:59,473 Unfortunately, Dralhul has a night vision So he can see you easily 370 00:24:59,598 --> 00:25:03,352 -It'll move its jaw and bite your head off, and you're dead - Damn 371 00:25:03,685 --> 00:25:06,438 - When she died, did she defecate on her clothes? - What is this? 372 00:25:07,940 --> 00:25:09,775 - Yes - You had to roll the dice for this? 373 00:25:10,109 --> 00:25:11,527 - Yes - This is strange 374 00:25:11,777 --> 00:25:13,946 Every time I go to the toilet Trying my luck 375 00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:18,283 Dralhul moves forward steadily What are you doing? 376 00:25:18,575 --> 00:25:21,036 - I will attack you - What? 377 00:25:21,245 --> 00:25:25,499 - You heard me, I'm attacking you - You can't, the master of the game is God 378 00:25:25,874 --> 00:25:29,711 - Well, I will attack God -This would be like attacking Alf Dralhul. 379 00:25:29,837 --> 00:25:31,213 Only a crazy man would do that 380 00:25:31,338 --> 00:25:34,967 “Pizza in the morning "Pizza in the evening, pizza at dinner time." 381 00:25:38,095 --> 00:25:39,471 This is a critical hit 382 00:25:41,390 --> 00:25:45,018 -I will take 6 points of damage - I will attack again 383 00:25:45,144 --> 00:25:46,520 Well, I just... I don't know if... 384 00:25:47,729 --> 00:25:49,106 Oh my goodness, another twenty net 385 00:25:50,399 --> 00:25:52,401 I will take 10 additional damage points 386 00:25:53,068 --> 00:25:54,528 - Come on, my friend, kill him - Come on, you can do this 387 00:25:54,653 --> 00:25:58,073 I will gather all my strength And prepare for the death blow 388 00:25:59,950 --> 00:26:03,287 -Is 1 good? - No, no, no, no 389 00:26:07,124 --> 00:26:11,211 - Well, here we are, we're all dead - Well, I'm alive 390 00:26:13,130 --> 00:26:17,718 Hi, I'm Susan Bennett. From Framingham, Massachusetts 391 00:26:17,926 --> 00:26:22,639 - What's your name? - I'm Dralhul from Hell 392 00:26:23,974 --> 00:26:25,350 Do you know Barbara? 393 00:26:25,475 --> 00:26:27,728 Mom, what are you doing? You're a fighter, just fight him 394 00:26:27,853 --> 00:26:29,229 You always do this 395 00:26:29,354 --> 00:26:37,529 -Are you from the Boston area? - The flames and the wailing of tortured souls gave birth to me 396 00:26:38,864 --> 00:26:43,327 That's why I got an epidural Do you enjoy being a demon? 397 00:26:45,954 --> 00:26:47,331 That's okay 398 00:26:47,456 --> 00:26:50,834 It must be hard That people feel afraid of you all the time 399 00:26:52,502 --> 00:26:54,004 You know, actually, it's hard 400 00:26:55,172 --> 00:26:57,925 Thank you for acknowledging this What was your name again? (Susan)? 401 00:26:58,050 --> 00:26:59,426 - (Susan) - (Susan) 402 00:26:59,551 --> 00:27:02,012 - (Susan) - Susan, you're so nice 403 00:27:03,013 --> 00:27:04,389 Stop 404 00:27:04,514 --> 00:27:08,435 Sometimes, I feel like people are coming to me Just for my powers and treasures 405 00:27:09,144 --> 00:27:13,148 No one comes to say hello And to check on me 406 00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:16,777 -This must really hurt - That's right 407 00:27:17,027 --> 00:27:22,950 -Is that why you want to destroy the world? - Turns out the real devil is loneliness 408 00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:27,287 Maybe you should meet new people Or get a hobby 409 00:27:27,621 --> 00:27:30,082 There is an empty spot in my collection for watercoloring 410 00:27:30,791 --> 00:27:33,126 - Really? - Hey, no, there's no vacancy 411 00:27:33,627 --> 00:27:37,422 I forgot, Carol apologized to Jeanine. She is back in class now 412 00:27:37,839 --> 00:27:40,884 - What did Carol do? - I drew a portrait of Jenin. 413 00:27:41,009 --> 00:27:44,263 - And she included her mustache - No! 414 00:27:44,388 --> 00:27:47,432 - She added a mustache - They call me a devil 415 00:27:47,599 --> 00:27:48,976 I know, right? 416 00:27:52,354 --> 00:27:53,730 I know 417 00:27:58,193 --> 00:28:00,821 I needed this I needed this laugh 418 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,157 That's why I love meeting new people 419 00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:13,125 He was touched by the fighter's sympathy Dralhul will dissipate in his demonic realm 420 00:28:13,333 --> 00:28:16,753 Leaving behind a temple full of treasures 421 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:20,090 The world is safe and the mission is completed 422 00:28:20,632 --> 00:28:22,009 Great 423 00:28:22,175 --> 00:28:24,886 Oh my God, mom You have no idea how much we love you now 424 00:28:25,012 --> 00:28:27,597 -I'm so proud of you, Aunt Suze. -You're a fucking genius 425 00:28:27,764 --> 00:28:33,228 Well, I see you and your friends are having adventures together Without drugs 426 00:28:33,770 --> 00:28:37,566 - Matty, they're good kids - Yes, we won the lottery, Susan. 427 00:28:37,816 --> 00:28:40,986 Don't worry, mom We will never do drugs 428 00:28:41,194 --> 00:28:42,571 Come on, let's go 429 00:28:47,326 --> 00:28:48,702 Now, about those drugs 430 00:28:59,963 --> 00:29:01,673 This was a great adventure 431 00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:05,260 Do you think that the reality is that we have suffered? All that trouble to get weed 432 00:29:05,719 --> 00:29:10,390 - Is it a sign of a serious problem? - No, it is a sign of serious commitment 433 00:29:10,766 --> 00:29:14,353 You think he's somewhere, somehow? In another dimension 434 00:29:14,603 --> 00:29:17,731 The world of D&D is real Are we the game? 435 00:29:32,789 --> 00:29:35,292 Susan will love this 436 00:29:35,665 --> 00:29:37,376 - "(Dralhall)" - What? 437 00:29:37,584 --> 00:29:41,505 “Your demon friends have come "To play Stoners and Teddy Bears." 438 00:29:41,721 --> 00:29:46,070 Tell them to leave... Tell them to get off then, my God 439 00:29:46,321 --> 00:29:49,449 - “Watch your words” - I hate you for heaven's sake 440 00:29:49,719 --> 00:30:52,953 .RaYYaN...Drag and edit 441 00:30:53,225 --> 00:30:56,353 Translated by: Screens International - Beirut