1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:03,629 LUKE: All right, girls, what we rehearsed. 2 00:00:03,712 --> 00:00:06,089 - MAN: Drums. - (SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES FANFARE PLAYING) 3 00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:11,303 (ALL VOCALIZING SEARCHLIGHT PICTURES FANFARE) 4 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,433 - MAN: Hey. - (VOCALIZING CONTINUES) 5 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,646 (ALL VOCALIZING OFF KEY) 6 00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,151 KEEGAN: Girl, we sound mad good. 7 00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:30,155 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - MAN: She's an icon. 8 00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:31,573 She's a legend. 9 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:33,408 She's an icon. 10 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,494 She's a legend. 11 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:38,038 NOAH: "It is a truth universally acknowledged 12 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:40,874 "that a single man in possession of a good fortune 13 00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:43,085 "must be in want of a wife." 14 00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:46,838 You know who said that? Jane Austen, the queen. 15 00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:48,298 Fucking shit. 16 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:53,220 Pretty dope way to start a story, right? (CHUCKLES) 17 00:00:53,303 --> 00:00:57,307 Well, no offense to my girl, Jane, but that sounds like some hetero nonsense. 18 00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:01,270 Listen, I don't know much about a good fortune, 19 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:05,399 but not every single man is looking for a wife. 20 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:06,608 Hey. 21 00:01:07,192 --> 00:01:08,193 Oh. 22 00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:09,945 Hey, you. 23 00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:12,573 You're still here, which is awesome. 24 00:01:12,656 --> 00:01:15,367 - Except, um, you have to leave. - Sorry, what? 25 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,578 No, listen, last night was fun. 26 00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,663 - (CELL PHONE VIBRATING) - MAN: She's an icon. 27 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,540 But seriously, you gotta go. 28 00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:26,795 Yeah, I know that looked a little harsh, but he had boyfriend energy, 29 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,380 and that is just not me. 30 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,174 Besides, this week is sacred. 31 00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,177 We're going to Fire Island. It's like gay Disney World. 32 00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,387 Fun for the whole family... 33 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:36,722 LUKE: Come on. Hurry up! 34 00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:40,851 - ...except when I say family... - Get on the boat! 35 00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,020 - I think about those faggots. - HOWIE: Let's go! 36 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:45,606 NOAH: Please don't cancel me. I'm reclaiming it. 37 00:01:45,689 --> 00:01:48,066 To me, it just means, um, sisters. 38 00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:51,236 - Stupid bitch, Noah. Every year. - NOAH: I made it, didn't I? 39 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,864 - How? You missed every train. - I took a Lyft. 40 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,825 What, from Bushwick? What is that? Like, a $300 ride? 41 00:01:56,908 --> 00:01:59,620 - How are you paying for this? - You finally start a OnlyFans? 42 00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,121 It's called a credit card, idiot. 43 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,373 You've literally never made a student loan payment, 44 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,916 who would give you a credit card? 45 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,210 Amanda at Forever 21. 46 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:08,295 - Amanda. - Oh, my God. 47 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,796 NOAH: So, yeah, we're poor. 48 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,006 Not, like, poor-poor, 49 00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:14,926 but poor as in none of us have a chance in hell of buying property, ever? 50 00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,845 But this is what brought us together. 51 00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:18,513 We all met almost ten years ago 52 00:02:18,597 --> 00:02:21,391 working at the same cursed brunch spot in Williamsburg. 53 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,227 Bottomless mimosas, bitches! 54 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:25,687 (LAUGHS) 55 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:27,981 NOAH: Back then, we were broke queers, 56 00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:30,859 subsisting off of predatory student loans and brunch tips. 57 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:31,943 LUKE: Come here, baby. 58 00:02:32,486 --> 00:02:34,488 - NOAH: That's Luke and Keegan. - Oh! That's good. 59 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:35,947 NOAH: They met in theater school. 60 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:38,450 They were both eventually kicked out of the program, 61 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,577 but they're still convinced they're stars. 62 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:41,953 LUKE: Yes! 63 00:02:42,496 --> 00:02:43,955 NOAH: There's sweet Max. 64 00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:45,582 Can you guys be a little quiet? 65 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,251 NOAH: Super smart, but he can be a little uptight. 66 00:02:48,794 --> 00:02:51,171 He claims he doesn't come on this trip to hook up, 67 00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:53,674 but he puts out in the Meat Rack just like the rest of us. 68 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:55,175 It's really coming together. 69 00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,386 NOAH: And then there's Howie. 70 00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,721 The best of us on almost every level. 71 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,390 He deserted me a few years ago 72 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,725 for some cush start-up job in San Francisco, 73 00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:06,728 but he still makes it back every year for this trip. 74 00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,147 Our bond goes a little deeper than everyone else's 75 00:03:09,231 --> 00:03:13,360 for complex, spiritual reasons. And, well... 76 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,571 MAN: Jackie Chan, hey. Can I get another refill here, bud? 77 00:03:17,739 --> 00:03:19,866 NOAH: All the obvious ones, too. 78 00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:25,872 Yeah, well, looks like it's that time. 79 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,709 A lot of people on Twitter think 80 00:03:28,792 --> 00:03:30,502 body positivity has actually gone too far. 81 00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,586 Uh-huh. 82 00:03:31,670 --> 00:03:34,423 Why would you conform to this community's toxic body standards? 83 00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:36,717 Whatever. I'm still invisible to most of these people. 84 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,053 - What does that make me? - No fats, no fems, no Asians. 85 00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:42,055 Noah, you still two out of the three. 86 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,349 NOAH: Bitchy, yes, but not wrong. 87 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:48,019 In our community, money isn't the only form of currency. 88 00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:51,022 Race, masculinity, abs, 89 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,692 just few of the metrics we use to separate ourselves 90 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:55,527 into upper and lower classes. 91 00:03:55,610 --> 00:03:58,071 Of course, I don't care about all that shit, but, 92 00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,283 what can I say? I'm a class traitor. 93 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:04,411 And this why straight people hate us. 94 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:09,458 I mean, also, heteronormativity, Judeo-Christian pathology, anal. 95 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:11,585 Whatever. Who cares what they think? 96 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,670 We're not gonna see one for a fucking week. 97 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,548 - (KEEGAN AND HOWIE GASP) - Whoo! 98 00:04:16,631 --> 00:04:18,133 (GASPS) Ah! 99 00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,342 - Yes! - (ALL CHEERING) 100 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:22,053 (INDIE POP MUSIC PLAYING) 101 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,246 (ALL CHEERING) 102 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,807 I forgot how far away the house is. 103 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:08,350 - Hey. - Hi, guys. 104 00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:09,434 Hey. 105 00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:12,813 - Stop being weird. - Okay, it's a nice human gesture. 106 00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:17,526 Hey. How are you guys? 107 00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:19,444 - (MAN 1 LAUGHS) - MAN 2: No, thanks. 108 00:05:21,279 --> 00:05:22,864 This place is so toxic. 109 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:25,200 Why? Because of those guys? Fuck them. 110 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,286 As far as I'm concerned, we are the hottest people here. 111 00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:31,623 Luke's right. Why would you say hello to someone you don't wanna fuck? 112 00:05:31,706 --> 00:05:34,417 NOAH: Because fucking isn't the only reason some people come here. 113 00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:36,837 No, that is the only reason that you come here. 114 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,589 No, I also come here to read. I contain multitudes. 115 00:05:39,673 --> 00:05:42,217 She thinks that makes her less of a whore than the rest of us. 116 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,094 No, I just know who I am, that's empowering. 117 00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,846 Besides, anybody can fuck on Fire Island. 118 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:46,972 - (HOWIE SCOFFS) - Okay, 119 00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,723 the only reason you don't is because... 120 00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:51,268 I'm sorry, that was an involuntary response. 121 00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,602 I'm fine. Seriously. 122 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,274 MAX: It's actually a logistical nightmare to fuck on this island. 123 00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,402 At least, if you wanna do it indoors, you know, no privacy anywhere. 124 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:02,445 That's what the outdoors are for, girl. 125 00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:03,822 Ew, have you heard of ticks? 126 00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,116 Okay, how about their best friend? Lyme disease. 127 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,200 - No. - MAX: I'm serious. 128 00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:10,745 Bitch! I knew I smelled some bottoms. 129 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,455 (ALL LAUGH) 130 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,915 - You bitch. - Little bitch! 131 00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,459 NOAH: And that is Erin. 132 00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,170 The last member of our makeshift little family. 133 00:06:19,671 --> 00:06:24,050 Career brunch server, age unknown, lesbian scam queen. 134 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:25,635 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 135 00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:29,180 Five years ago, she made a mini fortune after she ate a piece of glass 136 00:06:29,264 --> 00:06:32,475 at a major Italian chain restaurant and won a huge settlement. 137 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:37,230 She even got a little tattoo above her vagina that says, 138 00:06:37,314 --> 00:06:39,024 "All-you-can-eat salad." 139 00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:40,859 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 140 00:06:42,110 --> 00:06:44,154 - LUKE: Come on, Keegan, let's go, baby. - Okay! 141 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,908 NOAH: First thing she did with the money was buy a little house on the island. 142 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,118 She invites us to stay with her every year. 143 00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,995 ERIN: Welcome home, little chickadees. 144 00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,705 LUKE: Cover it with your whole body. 145 00:06:53,788 --> 00:06:54,789 KEEGAN: This is ours. 146 00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:57,000 LUKE: Baby, use your mass. Plan this shit, girl. 147 00:06:57,083 --> 00:06:58,627 NOAH: In exchange, we let her believe 148 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:01,296 she's the closest thing any of us have to a mother. 149 00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:04,925 (SIGHS) It feels like it gets smaller every year. 150 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:07,218 Are you kidding me? It's perfect. 151 00:07:07,302 --> 00:07:09,304 For me at least, it's sort of true. 152 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:10,430 Welcome home. 153 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:15,936 (BOTTLE POPS) 154 00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,103 (NOAH CHUCKLES) 155 00:07:23,068 --> 00:07:24,986 Coming here was a mistake. 156 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,405 I can't believe you talked me into this again. 157 00:07:27,489 --> 00:07:31,076 What the fuck are you talking about? I only see you on Face Time now. 158 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:33,912 No, I'm serious. We used to come here to be... 159 00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,623 - Gay and stupid. - (BOTH CHUCKLE) 160 00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,416 And now... 161 00:07:38,500 --> 00:07:41,086 I come here, I just feel terminally alone. 162 00:07:41,169 --> 00:07:43,797 Alone? Look around. We're literally swimming in dick. 163 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:48,385 No, I don't mean like that. I mean, like, existentially lonely. 164 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,012 I mean, here, in S. F., I've never had a boyfriend. 165 00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,222 (SCOFFS) Oh, God. 166 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:54,683 Monogamy industrial complex rears its ugly head. 167 00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:57,435 I've never had a boyfriend either and I'm fuckin' awesome. 168 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:59,896 - Yeah, well, I'm not you. - You could be. 169 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,898 You just have to get laid once in a while. 170 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,401 - Oh, fuck off. - No, I'm serious. I mean, why not? 171 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,944 You're cute, you're funny, 172 00:08:06,027 --> 00:08:09,072 you're consistently the least repellent to men out of all of us. 173 00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,740 I mean, let me be your wing man. 174 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:14,369 Everybody should fuck on Fire Island at least once. It's like our birthright. 175 00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,496 Why is this so important to you? 176 00:08:16,579 --> 00:08:18,873 - Oh, my God, you've never had sex. - Noah. 177 00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,793 Fine. 178 00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:25,046 Do you remember when we met? 179 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:28,967 I was, like, a completely different person back then. 180 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:32,470 Felt invisible all the time, I was miserable. 181 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:36,808 And then we came out here. And, I don't know, something clicked. 182 00:08:36,891 --> 00:08:41,062 You know, I realized how much power I was giving away to other people 183 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:44,607 to make me feel a certain way and I took it all back. 184 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:50,155 Started to do some self-improvement, and my whole life changed. 185 00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:53,158 Babe, you don't need a boyfriend. 186 00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,660 You need to learn how to protect yourself more, 187 00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:58,121 'cause this romance bullshit is making you vulnerable, 188 00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,456 you're like an open wound. 189 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,458 Yeah, but I want the romance bullshit. 190 00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:05,420 I like the rom-com stuff, like, kissing in the rain 191 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:09,716 and standing outside my window with a boombox 192 00:09:09,799 --> 00:09:13,386 or confessing things in a gazebo. What's wrong with that? 193 00:09:13,470 --> 00:09:16,556 Nothing, it's just shit like that doesn't happen in real life. 194 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,018 The only real thing is you and me. 195 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:21,895 Fuck the rest. 196 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:31,071 Fine. If you're so invested in this, I will try and get laid. 197 00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,197 Yes! 198 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,866 But I have to be attracted to him. 199 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,494 - He has to be nice to me. - Okay. 200 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,913 And no weird fetishes. I'm not letting some guy 201 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:42,749 stick his foot in my ass just so I can say I got some. 202 00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:46,169 Okay, a little kink-shamey, but point taken. (CHUCKLES) 203 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:47,378 No settling. 204 00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:51,466 You are gonna have missionary, 205 00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:54,385 vanilla sex with the man of... 206 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:57,055 - Men of your dreams. - Oh. 207 00:09:57,138 --> 00:10:01,059 And, literally, I'm not even gonna look at another guy till you get laid, okay? 208 00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:04,521 I'm serious. My only mission this week is to make sure you're happy, 209 00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:07,357 that you know I know everything and that I'm always right. 210 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,484 Yeah, that definitely won't come back to fuck me. 211 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:10,944 - Cheers. - Cheers. 212 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,446 When is she gonna do what she said? 213 00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:15,949 Put in a hot tub. They know now that they kill STIs. 214 00:10:16,032 --> 00:10:17,659 That's just a known fact in science. 215 00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,911 KEEGAN: Yeah, you're putting our health at risk. 216 00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,830 Are you guys complaining right now? 217 00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:24,415 We're literally in paradise. Let's go talk to cute boys. 218 00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,459 (EXCLAIMS) I think I just saw a tick in my room. 219 00:10:26,543 --> 00:10:27,585 (ALL GASP) 220 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,924 - HOWIE: No! - LUKE: That's dumb. 221 00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:41,516 Okay. You know what? This is a good thing. 222 00:10:41,599 --> 00:10:45,937 This is, um... This is a positive development for me. 223 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:47,647 Don't try and spin this. 224 00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,316 It'll give you the opportunity to unplug from social media. 225 00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,068 - What will I look at when I shit? - (GAGS) 226 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,236 Did you get Apple Care? 227 00:10:53,319 --> 00:10:56,197 Dad says if you don't get Apple Care, you only have yourself to blame. 228 00:10:56,281 --> 00:10:59,450 What about me having an iPhone 6 Plus in 2022 229 00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,452 makes you think I can afford Apple Care? 230 00:11:01,578 --> 00:11:03,705 Girl, just get Mommy Erin to buy you a new one. 231 00:11:03,788 --> 00:11:05,081 Don't be gross. 232 00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:09,127 Unless you can. I mean, if you... Never mind. 233 00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:11,880 - I'm just kidding. That was just a joke. - Oh, no. 234 00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:14,007 It's not about the phone. (SNIFFLES) 235 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:15,133 It's everything. 236 00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,178 Girls, I have some terrible news. 237 00:11:19,053 --> 00:11:20,722 (CLICKS TONGUE) We're broke. 238 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,932 What? How is that possible? 239 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,310 You know me, I've never been good with money. 240 00:11:25,393 --> 00:11:27,270 I was an early investor in Quibi. 241 00:11:27,353 --> 00:11:29,898 This house is the only good investment I ever made. 242 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:32,192 Which is why I have to sell it. 243 00:11:32,275 --> 00:11:34,444 - You're not. - HOWIE: Sell the house? 244 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:36,487 - It's my home. - MAX: This doesn't make sense. 245 00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,781 - Girl, I'm sorry. - Oh, my God. 246 00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,117 - This is our last summer. - Just stop. 247 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:44,078 Don't be ridiculous. The island's always gonna be here. 248 00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:46,873 - Except the whole climate change thing. - Okay. 249 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,291 You don't need me. 250 00:11:48,374 --> 00:11:49,500 Yeah, I do. 251 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:52,754 I mean, personally, I need all of you... 252 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:56,257 It wouldn't be the same if we didn't come together. 253 00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,886 - You're gonna make me cry. - Don't cry. 254 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,515 Okay, enough. Enough of this. It's all right. 255 00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:06,893 We still have this week. 256 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:12,065 So, let's pull ourselves together and get ready for tea. 257 00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:13,608 - LUKE: Let's go get to tea. - Okay. 258 00:12:13,691 --> 00:12:15,860 - MAX: You're right. - KEEGAN: We're doing tea. 259 00:12:15,944 --> 00:12:16,945 LUKE: One week. 260 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:19,280 Can I trade a Crest White strip for a PrEP pill? 261 00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:21,908 - HOWIE: I got you. - LUKE: I need to change the mood. 262 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,503 NOAH: Guess I better make this week count, huh? 263 00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:39,384 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 264 00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:46,391 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 265 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:54,065 NOAH: Back when it was all but illegal for us to exist, the "Tea Dance," 266 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:56,401 as it was called back then, was a discreet way for us 267 00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,945 to gather and dance without getting arrested. 268 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:03,741 Tea has evolved a lot since those early days. 269 00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,703 But when it comes to sex, 270 00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,164 some things never change. 271 00:13:12,375 --> 00:13:15,211 Are you guys seriously on Grindr right now? 272 00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,463 - Look where we are. - Okay, Miss Bitch. 273 00:13:17,588 --> 00:13:19,716 If you had a phone, you'd be Grind-ing as well. 274 00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:22,677 This isn't what the Gay Liberation Front envisioned for us. 275 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,554 Other than the Charli XCX remix, 276 00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:26,597 this is exactly what they envisioned for us. 277 00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:29,142 Seriously, what is the point of Gay Liberation 278 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:33,229 if we can't feel a little liberated? 279 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,564 NOAH: She's spinning! 280 00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,815 (ALL CHEERING) 281 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,692 The season has begun! 282 00:13:38,234 --> 00:13:39,235 Twirl! 283 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,486 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 284 00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,113 HOWIE: Spinning! 285 00:13:44,615 --> 00:13:45,742 NOAH: Don't look now, 286 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:48,828 but I think this guy over here is a little obsessed with you. 287 00:13:48,911 --> 00:13:50,121 What? Him? 288 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,042 - ERIN: Who you looking at? - Are we checking someone out? 289 00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:56,753 KEEGAN: Oh, my God. Back it up, I'll take all three. 290 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,839 Yeah, they can definitely tell we're looking at them now. 291 00:14:02,175 --> 00:14:03,676 (GASPS) Did he just wave? 292 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:05,094 Yeah. And smiled. 293 00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,305 That wouldn't be settling, right? Be right back. 294 00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:09,974 - What are you doing? - Getting us a couple of drinks. 295 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,310 Girl, they are hot. 296 00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:14,062 NOAH: I don't wanna push too hard, 297 00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,023 but the sooner Howie lets go of his insecurities and gets laid, 298 00:14:17,106 --> 00:14:18,483 the sooner I can get laid. 299 00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,529 - Hey. - Howdy. 300 00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:25,198 Oh, God. Hi. 301 00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,909 Couldn't help notice you lookin' at me earlier. 302 00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:31,829 - (CHUCKLES) No. I wasn't looking at you. - I'm Moses. Are you Korean? 303 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:34,082 You look Korean. I have a sense. 304 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,376 Let me get your drink. 305 00:14:36,459 --> 00:14:39,879 No. My boyfriend here, he's gonna... He's gonna grab it for us. 306 00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,590 I'm sorry, I'm not sure I understand what's going on. 307 00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:43,716 Honey. 308 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,594 Are you Filipino? You look Filipino. 309 00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,097 I'm gonna go. 310 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,059 Two Shirley Temples, please. 311 00:14:53,976 --> 00:14:56,396 Okay, somebody else has to go and get the drinks. 312 00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:59,190 - What are we looking at? - Erin found that guy's Instagram. 313 00:14:59,273 --> 00:15:00,691 Okay, that's frightening. 314 00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:01,984 I hope he's cool though, 315 00:15:02,068 --> 00:15:04,737 'cause his friend turned out to be kind of a dud! 316 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,864 Private Instagram? What's he hiding? 317 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:10,243 We know his name is Charlie, and he's got a dog emoji 318 00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,621 and a plant emoji and a stethoscope emoji. What a riddle. 319 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,332 We'll solve that later 'cause they're leaving. 320 00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:17,875 - What are you doing? - Trust me. 321 00:15:17,959 --> 00:15:19,210 Said that he was cute. 322 00:15:20,086 --> 00:15:22,171 HOWIE: Noah, it's fine. (GRUNTS) 323 00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,215 - ERIN: Oh, my God. - LUKE: She fell. 324 00:15:24,298 --> 00:15:26,634 What is your fucking problem? 325 00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:28,344 Whoa. Are you all right? 326 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,305 It's fine. It happens... 327 00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:32,849 All the time. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 328 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,600 Does it really? 329 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:36,561 You must have very strong bones. 330 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,230 Just my knees, I guess. 331 00:15:40,690 --> 00:15:41,941 Oh, God. 332 00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:44,652 Oh, God, that does not sound right. (CHUCKLES) Sorry. 333 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:49,115 Um, were you guys going? Because we were gonna catch the sunset. 334 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:50,867 So weird. We were, too. 335 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,453 Oh, great. I'm Charlie, by the way. 336 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:54,787 - We know. - What? 337 00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,497 NOAH: Never mind. Just keep walking. 338 00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:01,127 Uh, do you want some whiskey? It would help with your knees. 339 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,671 - You can trust me. I'm a doctor. - (YELLS) 340 00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,640 CHARLIE: ...look like they're strawberries. 341 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,350 - You know? - That's a classic. 342 00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:17,435 What are those called? 343 00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:18,978 - Strawberries. - They are good. 344 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:21,439 NOAH: Look at those two. Absolutely perfect. 345 00:16:22,940 --> 00:16:24,775 Except for one small thing. 346 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:26,694 Hey, sorry. What do you do again? 347 00:16:28,571 --> 00:16:30,865 NOAH: The friends. That's problem number one. 348 00:16:30,948 --> 00:16:33,951 I do graphic design for this start-up. 349 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:37,622 NOAH: Cooper, who told us immediately that he's a brand manager. 350 00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:38,748 Whatever that is. 351 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,710 And I'm a big, powerful lawyer like Christine Baranski in The Good Wife. 352 00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,545 Seriously? 353 00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,923 No. Christine is the only lawyer I trust. 354 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,633 The rest of them are all pretty evil. 355 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,802 Oh. Uh, actually, Will is a lawyer. 356 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,931 NOAH: Problem number two. Will. 357 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:59,268 He's from L. A., super rich, and thinks he's way better than all of us. 358 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:00,853 Uh, my bad. Sorry. 359 00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:04,273 I'm just a nurse, you know? 360 00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,901 Essential services. Saving lives. 361 00:17:06,984 --> 00:17:10,738 - Uh, what concentration? Trauma... - Oh, no. Free clinic for gay sluts. 362 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,615 I mostly just weigh people 363 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:15,243 and steal doxycycline for prophylactic purposes. 364 00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:18,579 - Oh, my God, it's starting. Look alive. - Okay. 365 00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:22,750 ALL: Ten... Nine... Eight... 366 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:26,879 Seven... Six... Five... 367 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,589 - Five... - Five... 368 00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,174 LUKE: Five... 369 00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:32,635 - Four... - Four, point five... 370 00:17:32,718 --> 00:17:35,346 ALL: Three... 371 00:17:35,429 --> 00:17:37,974 - Two... - (ERIN SQUEALS) 372 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:40,601 One... 373 00:17:41,936 --> 00:17:44,730 - Point nine... - Point nine... 374 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,400 - Point eight... - Point seven... 375 00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:49,402 - Point six... - Point five... 376 00:17:49,485 --> 00:17:51,070 - Point four... - Point three... 377 00:17:51,195 --> 00:17:52,530 Point two... 378 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,615 (ALL CHEERING) 379 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:57,535 MAX: That was better than last time. 380 00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,788 - I'm proud of you, girl. You set. - Congratulations, everyone. 381 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:01,998 (CHUCKLES) 382 00:18:02,123 --> 00:18:05,126 - We love her. Love that girl. - I'll see you tomorrow, girl. 383 00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,378 Um, it's just a stupid bit we like to do. 384 00:18:07,461 --> 00:18:09,630 (CHUCKLES) It's funny. You're funny. 385 00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,722 Well, it was nice meeting you, and I'll see you around the island. 386 00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,015 Yeah, totally. 387 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:24,353 What the fuck are you doing? Wanna get fucked or not? 388 00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:25,438 I mean, not really. 389 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:28,608 Plus, he's, like, a super-hot doctor. And I'm... 390 00:18:28,691 --> 00:18:32,028 Do not finish that sentence. You are a prize to be won, okay? 391 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:33,904 So get over there, seal the deal. 392 00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,364 - (BOTH GRUNT) - Sorry. 393 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,991 Wow. Um... 394 00:18:37,241 --> 00:18:41,162 Hey, would you boys like to come to sort of like an after-party at ours? 395 00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:42,663 It's very chill, just like 396 00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,915 - wine and a hot tub. - HOWIE: Oh. 397 00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:47,585 We actually would love to, but we gotta check with our house, 398 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:50,421 'cause I think we have other plans, but we'd love to fit you in. 399 00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:53,841 Okay, so there's a soft plan to go to their house for a hot tub thing. 400 00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:56,677 - LUKE: Yes. A hot tub! - KEEGAN: What? Hot tub? 401 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:59,513 - BOTH: Hot tub. Hot tub. Hot... - HOWIE: Everybody shut up! 402 00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:00,890 - KEEGAN: Shh, stop. - HOWIE: Yes. 403 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,558 - MAX: Absolutely. - KEEGAN: Hell yeah. 404 00:19:02,642 --> 00:19:04,352 - NOAH: Be chill about it. - HOWIE: Okay. 405 00:19:05,102 --> 00:19:06,646 Yeah, that should work for us. 406 00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:10,024 I really don't think we needed to bring anything. 407 00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:12,026 And if you did wanna bring something, 408 00:19:12,109 --> 00:19:14,070 a full bottle of wine would've been the play. 409 00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,364 Are you crazy? I just told you we're broke. 410 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:19,408 Wait. Do they have a house on the beach? 411 00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,244 Well, we can't go over there. We are literal trash. 412 00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,914 - I'm sure their house is like ours... - We're here. 413 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,416 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE) 414 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,794 Yeah, we definitely can't bring that in here. 415 00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:32,129 - (BOTTLE BREAKS) - (MAN SCREAMS) Oh, my God. 416 00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:35,925 NOAH: A lot of people think you have to be successful, white and rich 417 00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:39,136 with seven percent body fat to vacation on Fire Island. 418 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,847 Those people are all at this party. 419 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,684 Excuse me. Can we help you? 420 00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:47,395 NOAH: That's code. He does not wanna help us. 421 00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:50,523 Yeah. Hi. Is Charlie here? 422 00:19:51,315 --> 00:19:53,192 I think you may have the wrong house. 423 00:19:53,567 --> 00:19:54,902 Why would you think that? 424 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,113 COOPER: Oh, my God. 425 00:19:58,072 --> 00:20:00,241 - You all. - You know them? 426 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:02,034 Of course. 427 00:20:02,118 --> 00:20:04,453 They're the cute little friends we made at tea. 428 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:08,416 NOAH: And "cute little friends" is code for not a fuckable one in the bunch. 429 00:20:08,499 --> 00:20:10,876 COOPER: Get up here. Don't be rude, Braden. 430 00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,462 - Get up here, he says. - Such a bad girl. 431 00:20:14,296 --> 00:20:17,967 LUKE: Hey, you guys smell good. Abercrombie and Fitch Fierce? 432 00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,218 (LAUGHS) Good stuff. 433 00:20:19,301 --> 00:20:20,428 We should talk later. 434 00:20:20,511 --> 00:20:23,305 These stairs is nice. Bitch, I feel like we're plus one. 435 00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,808 LUKE: What's the address? I wanna order thousands of 'em. 436 00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:26,892 How you doing? 437 00:20:27,393 --> 00:20:29,478 Bitch, you're on snacks. I'm on drinks. 438 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:30,563 - Go. - Okay. 439 00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:31,897 - A shot, please. - I got this. 440 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,649 - Let me just do it. - I was a bartender. 441 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:35,693 - You were a bar-back. - LUKE: Semantics. 442 00:20:36,277 --> 00:20:39,071 NOAH: You wanna slow down. It's like night one. Jesus. 443 00:20:39,155 --> 00:20:41,741 Excuse me, Dad. Did you not hear Erin before? 444 00:20:41,824 --> 00:20:44,452 - We have to make the most of this night. - Fair point. 445 00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:48,831 Oh, my God. Bitch. Look at all of this cheese. 446 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:50,916 Bring that here. I can use that as a garnish. 447 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,043 Guess you guys aren't bottoming tonight. 448 00:20:53,127 --> 00:20:56,839 LUKE: Actually, I'm one of the cleanest ever, I've been told, bottom-wise. 449 00:20:58,215 --> 00:20:59,633 Can you cut limes right now? 450 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,719 - KEEGAN: Cut limes? - We can handle knives, right? 451 00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,053 KEEGAN: Yeah, why not? 452 00:21:03,137 --> 00:21:05,181 HOWIE: He starts, Gays in Space. 453 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,142 And Jason Bateman is surprisingly a good gay person. 454 00:21:08,225 --> 00:21:09,477 In like a very happy way. 455 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,561 (LAUGHS) 456 00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,772 - You have to see it. It's like... - Okay. 457 00:21:12,855 --> 00:21:15,983 - ...really important. - NOAH: Hey, guys. What'd I miss? 458 00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,779 I was just explaining this SNL sketch. He's never seen Gays in Space. 459 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:23,365 Honestly, the way you explained it, I don't even wanna watch the sketch now. 460 00:21:23,449 --> 00:21:25,826 - You should probably watch the sketch. - I refuse to. 461 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:27,328 - Why are you being... - Adamantly. 462 00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,915 Charlie. Have you seen Will? I can't find him. He's hiding. 463 00:21:32,041 --> 00:21:33,125 Oh. Um... 464 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:37,546 No, I haven't. But, uh... If you will excuse me, I'll be right back. 465 00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:43,469 Cooper, have you heard of Gays in Space? 466 00:21:43,552 --> 00:21:45,554 - (CHUCKLING) - COOPER: Is that like Space balls? 467 00:21:48,557 --> 00:21:51,769 Girl, please tell me you have not spent the entire conversation 468 00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:53,729 walking him through old SNL sketches. 469 00:21:53,813 --> 00:21:57,358 Shut up. It's a classic. But, no, it's been nice. 470 00:21:58,067 --> 00:22:00,778 He's a pediatrician, isn't that so adorable? 471 00:22:00,861 --> 00:22:04,156 Sure. But is he a top or bottom, does he eat ass, is he on PrEP? 472 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:06,158 Have you gained no vital information? 473 00:22:06,242 --> 00:22:10,788 It's not like that. I think he just likes talking to me. 474 00:22:10,871 --> 00:22:12,790 Then what the fuck are we doing here? 475 00:22:12,873 --> 00:22:15,501 These people are not our people. I was talking to one of them. 476 00:22:15,584 --> 00:22:18,045 He thinks Lindsey Graham was in The Parent Trap. 477 00:22:18,128 --> 00:22:19,171 Yikes. 478 00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:20,714 I gotta pee. 479 00:22:26,011 --> 00:22:29,640 Lindsey Graham in The Parent Trap. I would watch that. 480 00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:39,942 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 481 00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:45,739 Hmm. 482 00:22:46,657 --> 00:22:48,826 Let's see what Charlie's working with. 483 00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:51,996 CHARLIE: He hasn't asked me for drugs. It just feels special. 484 00:22:52,079 --> 00:22:54,748 And he is nothing like Rhys, I will say that for him. 485 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,710 WILL: Yeah, well, you just met him, so it's kind of hard to know. 486 00:22:57,793 --> 00:23:00,671 CHARLIE: He hasn't asked me what I'm into one time. 487 00:23:00,754 --> 00:23:02,298 It's so nice. 488 00:23:02,381 --> 00:23:05,885 WILL: Okay. I'm just saying you've been single for what? A month? 489 00:23:05,968 --> 00:23:09,388 CHARLIE: Calm down. I think that he's cute and funny. 490 00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:10,931 - WILL: Great. - That's all I said. 491 00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:14,935 NOAH: Translation. He wants to dick my friend down. 492 00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:17,438 - WILL: What about his friends? - CHARLIE: They're nice. 493 00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:19,857 WILL: They're clearly using us for free liquor. 494 00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:21,901 Have you seen the way they're drinking? 495 00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:25,738 CHARLIE: (CHUCKLES) Okay, yeah. They're a little quirky, but, um... 496 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,574 - What about Noah? - WILL: He's fine. 497 00:23:29,033 --> 00:23:31,827 He's not hot enough to be that annoying, though. 498 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,955 CHARLIE: I'm so glad I invited you. You're always so positive. 499 00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:36,332 WILL: Why am I here, Charlie? 500 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,168 CHARLIE: Because Cooper's just a family friend, 501 00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:41,378 and I wanted a real friend with me. 502 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:42,671 Is that so bad? 503 00:23:42,755 --> 00:23:44,590 WILL: I want you to be careful, that's all. 504 00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:47,801 You're a good person, and people take advantage of that all the time. 505 00:23:47,885 --> 00:23:49,845 Especially the kind of people that come here. 506 00:23:49,929 --> 00:23:51,180 CHARLIE: What does that mean? 507 00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:55,726 WILL: This place is a playground for superficial, vapid morons. 508 00:23:56,727 --> 00:23:59,939 Will, promise me you'll try to have a good time. 509 00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:03,400 Okay. 510 00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:15,329 - Everything has buckles on it now. - Shade is good on him. It's his color. 511 00:24:15,412 --> 00:24:17,498 - We were just talking about you. - Oh, I know. 512 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,460 Yeah, they were wondering where you got your Speedo from. 513 00:24:21,543 --> 00:24:24,046 It's so cute. Did you get it on Amazon? 514 00:24:24,129 --> 00:24:27,967 No, it's an heirloom. It's been in my family for generations. 515 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:30,344 - What? - Mine's this little boutique brand. 516 00:24:30,427 --> 00:24:33,263 - You probably haven't heard of them. - Is it Charlie? 517 00:24:33,347 --> 00:24:36,850 Because it says "Charlie" in big, bold letters on your ass. 518 00:24:36,976 --> 00:24:39,436 - (CHUCKLES) - I'm sorry, am I being annoying? 519 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:42,940 - Yeah. - (CHUCKLES) We have a problem. 520 00:24:43,023 --> 00:24:45,901 (LUKE AND KEEGAN SQUEALING) 521 00:24:47,569 --> 00:24:49,697 Are they bringing cheese into the hot tub? 522 00:24:49,780 --> 00:24:51,699 So sorry. We'll take them home right now. 523 00:24:51,782 --> 00:24:53,450 No, you stay. We got this, right? 524 00:24:53,534 --> 00:24:57,037 Absolutely. Thank you. We had such a great time. 525 00:24:57,121 --> 00:24:59,373 Wonderful party. (CHUCKLES) 526 00:24:59,665 --> 00:25:02,334 (GASPS) Put that brie down! No, not in the water! 527 00:25:02,418 --> 00:25:04,878 Hey, what is going on with you tonight? 528 00:25:05,796 --> 00:25:08,173 Listen. Do you like that guy? Is he nice to you? 529 00:25:08,257 --> 00:25:11,176 Has he expressed any interest in kinky sex? 530 00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:13,178 Yes. Yes. No. 531 00:25:13,262 --> 00:25:15,597 Then it doesn't matter what's going on with me. 532 00:25:15,681 --> 00:25:16,682 You got this. 533 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:20,394 But whatever you do, do not let these people think 534 00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:23,063 they are better than us, because at the end... 535 00:25:23,147 --> 00:25:24,273 - (RETCHES) - (ALL GASP) 536 00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,649 KEEGAN: That is nasty. 537 00:25:26,483 --> 00:25:27,818 Damn, bitch. 538 00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,611 (RETCHING) 539 00:25:30,738 --> 00:25:34,033 ERIN: One of them stole this speaker. I don't know where it goes. 540 00:25:34,700 --> 00:25:36,035 (SOFTLY) Disgusting. 541 00:25:36,118 --> 00:25:37,327 Never mind. 542 00:25:37,411 --> 00:25:39,329 KEEGAN: Girl, get that shit out. 543 00:25:39,413 --> 00:25:40,622 He's on PrEP. 544 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,583 - You okay? - LUKE: Oh, my God, no. 545 00:25:42,666 --> 00:25:44,626 - NOAH: Party's over, babe. - KEEGAN: Come on. 546 00:25:44,710 --> 00:25:46,336 - LUKE: I threw up. - NOAH: I told you. 547 00:25:46,420 --> 00:25:49,339 LUKE: I puked. Yes. Thank you. 548 00:25:49,423 --> 00:25:51,675 KEEGAN: Just think about how skinny you will be, girl. 549 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:54,136 You guys ever see Gays in Space? 550 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:56,388 LUKE: They hate me now! 551 00:25:58,140 --> 00:25:59,349 (BREATHES DEEPLY) 552 00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:06,648 NOAH: That's my girl. 553 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:13,447 Hey, did Howie make it home last night? 554 00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,240 No, if you can believe it. 555 00:26:15,324 --> 00:26:16,408 That little whore. 556 00:26:16,492 --> 00:26:20,370 Our little Howie with a doctor. It'll be like having health insurance again. 557 00:26:20,454 --> 00:26:22,706 Okay, chill out. It's just a one-night thing. 558 00:26:22,790 --> 00:26:25,334 Yeah, like, we don't even know if anything happened. 559 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,711 - Maybe they killed him. - NOAH: Okay. Don't be bitter. 560 00:26:27,795 --> 00:26:31,673 - Did anybody bother to text him? - MAX: I did. But it went to green. 561 00:26:31,757 --> 00:26:33,050 Maybe Keegan's right. 562 00:26:33,133 --> 00:26:36,011 Although, you are more likely to get murdered in your own home. 563 00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:38,263 - LUKE: It's why I never host. - Fuck. Uh... 564 00:26:38,972 --> 00:26:40,808 You know what? I bet his phone died. 565 00:26:40,891 --> 00:26:41,892 I'll go get him. 566 00:26:52,069 --> 00:26:54,321 Excuse me. Um, can we help you? 567 00:26:54,404 --> 00:26:56,198 Seriously, this again? 568 00:26:56,281 --> 00:26:57,783 Oh, my God. Howie? 569 00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:00,119 Oh, my God. Hi. 570 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:03,455 See, Braden, I'm a friend. Is Howie still here? 571 00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:06,166 He is, poor thing. 572 00:27:06,250 --> 00:27:08,627 I think he drank a little too much last night. 573 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:11,296 Top-shelf stuff hits a little different than well. 574 00:27:11,380 --> 00:27:12,756 Can I go check on him? 575 00:27:16,802 --> 00:27:18,804 Last night, literally last night. 576 00:27:22,349 --> 00:27:23,684 (DOOR OPENS) 577 00:27:25,769 --> 00:27:26,770 Hey. 578 00:27:27,896 --> 00:27:28,981 You're back. 579 00:27:30,232 --> 00:27:33,068 Yep. Just came to check on my friend. 580 00:27:33,235 --> 00:27:35,988 - Uh, your friend's upstairs, I think. - Great. 581 00:27:36,321 --> 00:27:37,322 Uh, wait. 582 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:45,122 Here. He might need this. 583 00:27:45,205 --> 00:27:46,206 Thanks. 584 00:27:46,832 --> 00:27:50,377 I also just wanted to say sorry about last night. 585 00:27:51,211 --> 00:27:52,838 Braden wasn't super welcoming. So... 586 00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:57,134 - Braden? You're apologizing for Braden? - I don't understand. 587 00:27:57,217 --> 00:27:59,303 Little tip. The tap water here, safe to drink. 588 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:02,472 You don't have to pollute the oceans or waste your money with bottles. 589 00:28:03,432 --> 00:28:04,433 - (BIN OPENS) - (SCOFFS) 590 00:28:08,729 --> 00:28:09,730 You're right. 591 00:28:10,606 --> 00:28:11,607 (BOTTLE THUDS) 592 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:14,693 Noted. 593 00:28:15,152 --> 00:28:16,153 (SCOFFS) 594 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:17,321 Nice. 595 00:28:26,580 --> 00:28:28,165 Look at you, superstar. 596 00:28:28,332 --> 00:28:29,333 (HOWIE GROANS) 597 00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,544 I want to die. 598 00:28:32,628 --> 00:28:35,714 What happened? I haven't seen you like this since your Four Loko days. 599 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:39,676 I think it's the expensive booze. Guess my body is used to well. 600 00:28:39,760 --> 00:28:42,221 Where are people getting this? That's not science. 601 00:28:42,304 --> 00:28:44,806 (GROANS) I'm humiliated. 602 00:28:44,890 --> 00:28:46,350 Oh, no. 603 00:28:46,433 --> 00:28:49,728 I take it you didn't make it happen with the doctor last night? 604 00:28:49,811 --> 00:28:53,148 No. I spent most of the night in here. 605 00:28:53,815 --> 00:28:56,652 But he did stay up with me, though. 606 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:58,820 Well, that's good. It means he's into you. 607 00:28:58,904 --> 00:29:01,823 But it is day two. I think we should start looking into other options. 608 00:29:01,907 --> 00:29:05,535 Yeah. Totally. I'm sure there's tons of cute guys on this island 609 00:29:05,619 --> 00:29:08,830 who would miss a party to watch me puke. 610 00:29:08,914 --> 00:29:12,251 Well, he is a doctor, so he sort of has to. 611 00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:14,878 Right. 612 00:29:16,296 --> 00:29:17,839 He did this thing, though, 613 00:29:19,591 --> 00:29:22,469 where he was rubbing my back while I was sick, 614 00:29:22,552 --> 00:29:25,138 and I don't know how to explain it, 615 00:29:26,765 --> 00:29:29,101 but it felt really intimate. 616 00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:32,020 I don't know. I'm being stupid. 617 00:29:32,104 --> 00:29:34,273 No, you're not being stupid. It's just... 618 00:29:34,356 --> 00:29:36,817 Don't get sucked into one guy's orbit. 619 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:37,901 Right. 620 00:29:38,902 --> 00:29:40,028 CHARLIE: Knock, knock. 621 00:29:40,112 --> 00:29:42,823 Hi. Sorry. Will told me you were up here. 622 00:29:42,906 --> 00:29:44,783 I just came to check on our patient. 623 00:29:44,866 --> 00:29:47,786 Well, he's pregnant and he's not raising this baby alone. 624 00:29:47,869 --> 00:29:49,079 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 625 00:29:49,246 --> 00:29:50,580 HOWIE: I'm fine. 626 00:29:51,081 --> 00:29:53,583 Thank you again for everything. 627 00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:57,504 Of course. Don't mention it. Honestly, my back feels incredible. 628 00:29:57,587 --> 00:30:01,091 I might just start sleeping on the bathroom floor every night. 629 00:30:01,216 --> 00:30:03,510 (BOTH LAUGHING) 630 00:30:05,345 --> 00:30:07,097 NOAH: This is bleak. 631 00:30:07,180 --> 00:30:09,808 Charlie, do you wanna come and eat dinner at our house tonight? 632 00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,310 As, like, a thank you. 633 00:30:12,394 --> 00:30:13,729 You don't have to do that. 634 00:30:13,812 --> 00:30:18,191 NOAH: Oh, please. You took such good care of Howie, let us repay you. 635 00:30:18,275 --> 00:30:20,694 Uh, can I invite the rest of my house? 636 00:30:21,361 --> 00:30:22,821 That could be fun, right? 637 00:30:24,948 --> 00:30:26,033 NOAH: Sure. 638 00:30:26,992 --> 00:30:28,368 The more the merrier. 639 00:30:29,661 --> 00:30:31,830 ERIN: Why did you spring a dinner on me like this? 640 00:30:31,913 --> 00:30:33,373 You love throwing dinner parties. 641 00:30:33,457 --> 00:30:35,751 It makes it really stressful to be friends with you. 642 00:30:35,834 --> 00:30:38,420 For you, I could put out a platter of uncooked hot dogs 643 00:30:38,503 --> 00:30:40,130 and you kids would eat it right up. 644 00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:42,049 - We wouldn't. - We can cancel if you want. 645 00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:43,592 I would rather die. 646 00:30:43,675 --> 00:30:45,635 Go to the Pantry. I'll text you a list. 647 00:30:45,719 --> 00:30:50,015 Find anything dented, label-less or on the brink of expiration. 648 00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,933 - Fly, you fools! - All right. 649 00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:54,603 - All right. Enough. Let's go. - Let's go. 650 00:30:54,686 --> 00:30:56,355 - Not enough. - Bitch, where we going? 651 00:30:58,023 --> 00:31:00,984 MAN: And for you to charge $11 for one box of Cheez-Its, 652 00:31:01,068 --> 00:31:04,738 which you fully well know a box of Cheez-Its is on average $7.59 653 00:31:04,821 --> 00:31:06,531 in any store in New York, 654 00:31:06,615 --> 00:31:10,786 and I don't throw this term around lightly, sweetheart, is homophobic. 655 00:31:10,869 --> 00:31:12,704 CLERK: Sir, I don't set the prices. 656 00:31:12,788 --> 00:31:14,164 - I don't care. - CLERK: Sir... 657 00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:15,248 MAN: I'm not done. 658 00:31:15,332 --> 00:31:17,667 I mean, he's not wrong. The prices here are psychotic. 659 00:31:17,751 --> 00:31:19,836 You can thank capitalism for that, by the way. 660 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:22,672 Calm down, Bernie Sanders. I personally love the Pantry. 661 00:31:22,756 --> 00:31:24,883 Small businesses are the lifeblood of this country. 662 00:31:24,966 --> 00:31:27,094 And also, who says we have to pay? 663 00:31:27,177 --> 00:31:30,013 Yeah, when we lived above that Whole Foods in college, 664 00:31:30,097 --> 00:31:32,140 we got so good at stealing. 665 00:31:33,141 --> 00:31:36,812 You would not believe how many Kind bars I can fit in Keegan's ass. 666 00:31:36,895 --> 00:31:38,230 My girl is like a Costco. 667 00:31:38,313 --> 00:31:40,982 Wait, like, in hole or, like, just between the cheeks? 668 00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:42,317 I don't know. 669 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:51,576 Um, okay, crazy hot guy checking you out by the produce. 670 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:53,495 I saw. But we're not doing me right now, 671 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,539 we're doing you and that pink hole of yours. 672 00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:58,625 Ew. Stop. Gross. Forget I said anything. Here, go do something useful 673 00:31:58,708 --> 00:32:01,336 and dent these cans so we can get a discount. 674 00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,714 (INDISTINCT CHATTER IN DISTANCE) 675 00:32:11,304 --> 00:32:13,390 - Hey. - It was like this when I found it. 676 00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:15,684 Oh. 677 00:32:15,767 --> 00:32:17,727 Shit. This is humiliating. 678 00:32:19,646 --> 00:32:20,647 It's cool. 679 00:32:22,315 --> 00:32:23,316 Oh. 680 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:26,361 I'm poor, too. 681 00:32:26,987 --> 00:32:28,530 NOAH: I meant what I said to Howie. 682 00:32:28,613 --> 00:32:30,282 I'm committed to my duties as wing man, 683 00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:32,826 which makes meeting someone who looks like this... 684 00:32:32,909 --> 00:32:35,370 - You've read The Ethical Slut. - Yeah, it's formative. 685 00:32:35,454 --> 00:32:36,788 ...extremely inconvenient. 686 00:32:36,872 --> 00:32:39,291 It's part of the reason why I'm so annoying. 687 00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:41,918 That and my parents. They're so messed up. 688 00:32:42,002 --> 00:32:44,546 It's like, what has heteronormativity ever done for them? 689 00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:46,631 What are you guys even talking about over here? 690 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:48,717 KEEGAN: Noah always does this, so... 691 00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:49,801 He meets someone fun 692 00:32:49,885 --> 00:32:52,137 and then she scares 'em away with all her talking. 693 00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,473 - CHARLIE: Did you have Pedialyte? - HOWIE: I had... 694 00:32:54,556 --> 00:32:56,141 Who is Howie talking to? 695 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,310 Oh. Them again. 696 00:32:58,435 --> 00:33:00,937 - Oh, shit. - CHARLIE: I'm telling you, 697 00:33:01,021 --> 00:33:02,564 - Pedialyte works. - Come on. 698 00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,858 I know. It's like Gatorade without the nasty... 699 00:33:04,941 --> 00:33:07,235 - Hello. - Oh, my goodness. 700 00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,988 I hope that you did not get all this for us. 701 00:33:11,823 --> 00:33:13,033 Hi, Dex! 702 00:33:13,116 --> 00:33:15,410 Wait, how do you guys know Dex? 703 00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:19,456 - Uh, we just met. Is he with you guys? - No. 704 00:33:19,623 --> 00:33:21,958 CHARLIE: We just know a lot of the same people, I guess. 705 00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:24,044 Yeah, I knew Will back in California. 706 00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:27,923 You didn't strike me as a teeny-tiny- little-ice-cream-cone sorta guy. Cute. 707 00:33:29,007 --> 00:33:30,008 It's melting. 708 00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:32,469 Huh. 709 00:33:34,471 --> 00:33:38,266 Um, okay. Well, we should get all this home. We will see you guys at dinner. 710 00:33:38,350 --> 00:33:41,478 - Actually, Dex, why don't you come? - Yes, you have to. 711 00:33:41,561 --> 00:33:43,563 - Oh, my God, please come. - Yeah, come. 712 00:33:43,688 --> 00:33:46,274 Yeah, it'll give you a chance to catch up with Will. 713 00:33:46,358 --> 00:33:48,109 CHARLIE: That would be fun, right? 714 00:33:51,696 --> 00:33:53,990 Yeah. Awesome. 715 00:33:54,074 --> 00:33:56,952 Okay, so we really have to go. Raw chicken, direct sunlight... 716 00:33:57,035 --> 00:33:58,036 CHARLIE: Of course. 717 00:33:58,119 --> 00:33:59,538 - Bye. - We'll see you later. 718 00:33:59,621 --> 00:34:00,705 - Later. - See you later. 719 00:34:00,789 --> 00:34:02,249 - Bye, Howie. - HOWIE: Bye, Charlie. 720 00:34:02,332 --> 00:34:04,417 NOAH: I didn't prepare for an extra person, but... 721 00:34:04,501 --> 00:34:06,545 What are you up to, you little troll? 722 00:34:06,628 --> 00:34:08,755 I thought I'd make dinner a little more interesting. 723 00:34:08,838 --> 00:34:10,298 HOWIE: Oh, my God. 724 00:34:18,765 --> 00:34:21,601 NOAH: Something important to understand about Fire Island 725 00:34:21,851 --> 00:34:24,646 is that time sort of works differently here. 726 00:34:26,147 --> 00:34:29,901 For whatever reason, call it magic or too many drugs, 727 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:31,236 a full day in the Pines 728 00:34:31,319 --> 00:34:34,906 can equal anywhere between a week to three months out in the real world. 729 00:34:35,407 --> 00:34:36,408 (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) 730 00:34:36,491 --> 00:34:38,368 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 731 00:34:38,910 --> 00:34:41,162 You can catch feelings after just one day. 732 00:34:41,246 --> 00:34:45,083 People don't like it when you put make-up on it. I'm sorry, it's true. 733 00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:48,545 NOAH: All kinds of feelings. 734 00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:55,010 I really thought every house on the island had a hot tub. 735 00:34:55,093 --> 00:34:57,053 Yeah, I know, it's crazy, right? 736 00:34:57,137 --> 00:35:00,098 We have a GoFundMe set up, so fingers crossed, though. 737 00:35:00,181 --> 00:35:02,642 Hi, by the way. Where is the rest of your house? 738 00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:07,063 Um, yeah. Braden and the boys, they're feeling a little tired. 739 00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,524 Well, thank God you had the energy. 740 00:35:10,483 --> 00:35:13,194 Oh, God. Five minutes and you've already found a book? 741 00:35:13,278 --> 00:35:14,529 NOAH: Yeah, that's mine. 742 00:35:15,196 --> 00:35:16,573 You're reading Alice Munro? 743 00:35:16,656 --> 00:35:19,534 Yeah, I blazed through Animorphs already, so... 744 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:23,455 No, I... Sorry. I just didn't think anybody would be reading here. 745 00:35:23,538 --> 00:35:25,707 CHARLIE: You're so good. I always mean to. 746 00:35:25,790 --> 00:35:29,044 Yeah, well, I just do like audio books and stuff, or a podcast. 747 00:35:29,377 --> 00:35:32,297 What kind of a gay person goes on vacation to do homework? 748 00:35:32,380 --> 00:35:33,381 A literate one. 749 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:34,466 (LAUGHS) 750 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:39,846 You're so funny. You're all so funny. Very biting, like, um... 751 00:35:40,096 --> 00:35:41,723 Do you know who Amy Schumer is? 752 00:35:41,806 --> 00:35:46,728 Hey, I wanna show you something that I'm gonna think of when I get inside. 753 00:35:46,811 --> 00:35:48,647 - Why don't we go do that? - (CLEARS THROAT) 754 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:52,025 I'm gonna Face Time my mom before I get too fucked up tonight. 755 00:35:52,108 --> 00:35:55,403 I forgot her birthday, again. What's your Wi-Fi password? 756 00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:58,114 Cherry Jones, but all the E's are threes. 757 00:36:03,370 --> 00:36:05,080 (EXHALES) 758 00:36:09,876 --> 00:36:12,587 So, you a big reader? 759 00:36:16,007 --> 00:36:17,092 I am. 760 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:21,638 (MIMICS WILL) "And you, do you like to read?" 761 00:36:21,721 --> 00:36:24,391 - (IN NORMAL VOICE) "I do. Thank you..." - Excuse me? 762 00:36:24,766 --> 00:36:27,727 That's how conversations work. Generally, in my experience... 763 00:36:27,811 --> 00:36:30,397 Why would I ask a question I already know the answer to? 764 00:36:30,480 --> 00:36:32,607 Doesn't have to be that question, specifically. 765 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:35,694 - Do you really not know how this works? - What's your favorite story? 766 00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:38,822 Uh... 767 00:36:39,906 --> 00:36:41,908 I don't know. Powers. 768 00:36:45,620 --> 00:36:49,124 It's, um, you know, it's quintessential Alice. 769 00:36:49,207 --> 00:36:53,712 It's got all the narrative restraint and beautiful prose 770 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:57,590 and then, at the same time, it's this weird departure for her. 771 00:36:57,674 --> 00:36:58,675 Really? How? 772 00:36:59,551 --> 00:37:04,514 Well, normally, what she writes about is so domestic, 773 00:37:04,597 --> 00:37:06,766 you know, and then, in this one, she's like, 774 00:37:06,850 --> 00:37:10,061 "Here's this girl with superpowers and it's crazy like..." 775 00:37:10,145 --> 00:37:12,188 I don't know if that's definitive. 776 00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:15,483 Yeah, it is. The story is literally called "Powers." 777 00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:16,776 That girl has superpowers. 778 00:37:16,860 --> 00:37:19,904 In terms of the story that she's actually telling, 779 00:37:19,988 --> 00:37:22,323 I don't think it ultimately matters if she has powers... 780 00:37:22,407 --> 00:37:24,534 If it ultimately doesn't matter, why are we arguing? 781 00:37:24,617 --> 00:37:27,162 - I didn't think we were arguing. - So, let me win. 782 00:37:28,705 --> 00:37:29,748 Okay. 783 00:37:32,167 --> 00:37:33,126 You win. 784 00:37:34,502 --> 00:37:36,796 NOAH: Somehow I'm mad and horny. 785 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:40,091 HOWIE: I can't believe you talked me into showing you. 786 00:37:40,175 --> 00:37:42,802 - CHARLIE: I didn't talk you into it... - Oh, damn. 787 00:37:42,886 --> 00:37:45,138 Howie doesn't normally show people that sketchbook. 788 00:37:45,221 --> 00:37:47,766 - He must really like your friend. - WILL: I see. 789 00:37:49,851 --> 00:37:50,977 Is there a problem? 790 00:37:52,395 --> 00:37:55,732 WILL: I don't know your friend, okay? But I do know Charlie, 791 00:37:55,815 --> 00:37:58,818 and people tend to mistake his kindness for affection. 792 00:37:58,902 --> 00:38:00,153 Well, I know Howie 793 00:38:00,236 --> 00:38:03,406 and I think he just wants to show your friend some doodles, so, chill. 794 00:38:03,490 --> 00:38:05,116 LUKE: Excuse me, gay community. 795 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,451 (LAUGHING) 796 00:38:06,534 --> 00:38:08,495 Look who we found. The king. 797 00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:11,831 He literally said the funniest thing ever. Tell 'em, it's so funny. 798 00:38:11,915 --> 00:38:13,917 - I'm not gonna say it. - Tell 'em now. 799 00:38:14,417 --> 00:38:15,418 Mm. 800 00:38:16,127 --> 00:38:18,588 - Is this where the orgy is? - (BOTH LAUGHING) 801 00:38:19,005 --> 00:38:21,925 LUKE: "Is this where the orgy is?" Who says "orgy"? 802 00:38:22,008 --> 00:38:23,551 KEEGAN: You're so crazy! 803 00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:27,514 We're gonna head inside and play a little fun pre-dinner game. 804 00:38:27,597 --> 00:38:31,643 Uh, we don't... We don't play games. We're... We're adults. 805 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:34,020 Oh, my bad. Howie, turn on 60 Minutes. 806 00:38:34,604 --> 00:38:38,149 Sorry, just ignore him. Tonight we are going to be game people. 807 00:38:39,526 --> 00:38:41,152 What kind of game is it? 808 00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:43,738 Oh, it's real low-stakes, real chill. 809 00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,575 - No! What the fuck! - Are you kidding me? 810 00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,536 - What is wrong with you? - Act the scene. 811 00:38:49,619 --> 00:38:52,163 - Don't you even think about... - Do not pass on this icon. 812 00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:54,290 (MIMICS MARISA TOMEI) "No. The defense is wrong!" 813 00:38:54,374 --> 00:38:56,793 (MIMICS MARISA TOMEI) "No. The defense is wrong!" 814 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:59,838 - "No. The defense is wrong!" - "No! The defense is wrong!" 815 00:38:59,921 --> 00:39:03,842 - And Joe Pesci like, "How do you know?" - KEEGAN: And she goes, "I'm positive." 816 00:39:03,925 --> 00:39:05,927 - LUKE: "I'm positive." - Penelope Cruz? 817 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:09,180 "My biological clock is ticking like this 818 00:39:09,264 --> 00:39:12,141 "and the way this case is going, I ain't never getting married." 819 00:39:12,225 --> 00:39:14,102 - The deer with the little... Bam! - Come on! 820 00:39:14,185 --> 00:39:16,312 - A bullet hits you in the head. - Rosie Perez? 821 00:39:16,396 --> 00:39:19,023 - Oh, my God. - Almost respect you for saying her name. 822 00:39:19,107 --> 00:39:21,109 - Bitch, who is this? - In the Bedroom nominee. 823 00:39:21,192 --> 00:39:23,653 - WILL: Laura Dern? - LUKE: Yeah, we get it, you're gay. 824 00:39:23,736 --> 00:39:25,029 (BUZZER SOUNDS) 825 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,866 KEEGAN: Seriously? You couldn't get Marisa Tomei, 826 00:39:27,949 --> 00:39:30,743 - but you got Alicia Vikander? - WILL: Told you I didn't wanna play. 827 00:39:30,827 --> 00:39:32,537 LUKE: That's the problem with Hollywood. 828 00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:35,582 It's people like you who forget about Marisa Tomei, 829 00:39:35,665 --> 00:39:38,376 but they remember Alicia Vikander. Flop. 830 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,044 She was really great in Ex Ma chin a. 831 00:39:40,128 --> 00:39:41,588 You need to stay out of this, you. 832 00:39:41,671 --> 00:39:43,339 Hey, do you wanna go get a drink? 833 00:39:43,423 --> 00:39:46,050 Seems like this could go on for a while. 834 00:39:46,134 --> 00:39:48,052 LUKE: Why do I care about Ex Ma chin a? 835 00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:50,555 - KEEGAN: Robot blobot. It don't matter. - LUKE: Can we stop? 836 00:39:50,638 --> 00:39:54,225 God! I knew it would be bad, but I didn't think it'd be that bad. 837 00:39:54,309 --> 00:39:56,853 Jesus, that guy is not good at games. 838 00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:58,813 Yeah. (SCOFFS) 839 00:39:59,564 --> 00:40:03,902 What is that? What's going on there? Did you guys used to fuck or something? 840 00:40:03,985 --> 00:40:05,320 - Who? Me and Will? - Yeah. 841 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:06,946 Yeah, no, God. (LAUGHS) 842 00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:10,491 No, guys like Will do not fuck guys like me. 843 00:40:10,575 --> 00:40:13,119 Oh, right, I forgot. You're hideous. 844 00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:15,246 I mean, everyone in his circle 845 00:40:15,330 --> 00:40:18,708 is hot, or rich, or both. 846 00:40:18,791 --> 00:40:24,297 But, um, his real issue was, um... 847 00:40:24,797 --> 00:40:27,008 Okay, I'm just gonna be up front with you. 848 00:40:27,091 --> 00:40:30,428 I sort of have an OnlyFans. It's just pictures of me. 849 00:40:30,511 --> 00:40:32,430 I'm not trying to be a porn star or anything. 850 00:40:32,513 --> 00:40:33,973 You don't have to do that. 851 00:40:34,057 --> 00:40:36,267 You know, "sex work is work," and all that. 852 00:40:36,351 --> 00:40:41,147 Well, for guys like Will, social gatekeepers, you know... 853 00:40:42,815 --> 00:40:44,817 (SIGHS) It's a pretty big deal breaker. 854 00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:48,112 (CLICKS TONGUE) Gay guys like that are ruining this island. 855 00:40:48,529 --> 00:40:51,783 Yeah, but then again, 856 00:40:51,908 --> 00:40:53,534 there are gay guys... 857 00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:55,703 like you. 858 00:40:55,787 --> 00:40:58,289 Yeah, I'm just another horny idiot. 859 00:40:58,456 --> 00:40:59,457 Mm-hmm. 860 00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:01,167 - I can work with that. - Yeah? 861 00:41:01,250 --> 00:41:02,251 Yeah. 862 00:41:07,382 --> 00:41:08,967 ERIN: Dinner is served. 863 00:41:09,300 --> 00:41:10,301 (POPS TONGUE) 864 00:41:11,511 --> 00:41:12,929 (DEX CLEARS THROAT) 865 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:17,850 So there I was, on my hands and knees in the middle of the Meat Rack 866 00:41:17,934 --> 00:41:22,522 trying to use the light on my flip phone 867 00:41:22,605 --> 00:41:26,526 - to scan this chick's pussy for crabs. - (ALL EXCLAIMING) 868 00:41:26,609 --> 00:41:28,653 Erin, we're literally eating right now. 869 00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:32,240 Wait, did she... Did she, you know... 870 00:41:32,699 --> 00:41:34,492 She did, but it was so worth it. 871 00:41:34,575 --> 00:41:36,744 Oh, you still went through with it? 872 00:41:36,828 --> 00:41:39,205 She was one of the great loves of my life. 873 00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:42,458 We dated for two years. We told everybody we met at Red Lobster. 874 00:41:42,542 --> 00:41:44,293 (ALL LAUGHING) 875 00:41:51,759 --> 00:41:53,469 Thank you so much for this dinner. 876 00:41:53,553 --> 00:41:56,222 We don't usually eat this well when we're here. 877 00:41:56,305 --> 00:41:57,974 Stop, you big flirt. 878 00:41:58,057 --> 00:42:02,228 Oh, I'm serious. And it's not just the dinner, it's all of you. You're... 879 00:42:03,187 --> 00:42:07,233 You're all so different than anyone I've ever met before. 880 00:42:09,986 --> 00:42:11,654 I meant that in a good way. 881 00:42:11,738 --> 00:42:14,699 Like, um, Will, you... You guys get it? 882 00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:18,703 No, it's cool. We do take this week pretty seriously. 883 00:42:19,245 --> 00:42:22,498 You know, that's why it's really gonna suck next year when we, uh... 884 00:42:24,083 --> 00:42:25,043 You know... 885 00:42:27,795 --> 00:42:30,798 - It's... - ERIN: Okay, enough of this talk. 886 00:42:30,882 --> 00:42:32,800 Mm. You gotta forgive Noah. 887 00:42:32,884 --> 00:42:35,970 He is the most sensitive of all of my boys. 888 00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,347 I guess he cares about us a little too much. 889 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:41,893 Okay, who saved room for dessert? 890 00:42:41,976 --> 00:42:43,603 - KEEGAN: I did. - LUKE: Yes, please. 891 00:42:43,686 --> 00:42:46,856 The different girls will get dessert. Just the different girls. 892 00:42:46,939 --> 00:42:49,859 Oh, fuck this. It's fine. I'm fine. 893 00:42:49,942 --> 00:42:51,694 We still have a week. 894 00:42:51,778 --> 00:42:53,988 Does anyone want a refill? Charlie? 895 00:42:54,197 --> 00:42:55,323 (HOWIE BREATHING HEAVILY) 896 00:42:55,406 --> 00:42:56,407 Come on. 897 00:42:58,367 --> 00:43:00,620 - (NOAH LAUGHS) - Shut up, that did not happen. 898 00:43:01,537 --> 00:43:04,415 Maybe I'm exaggerating, but I swear to God, that was his vibe. 899 00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:07,668 Who cares? None of this matters unless you fucked. Did you fuck? 900 00:43:09,212 --> 00:43:12,715 - We did not fuck. - (ALL GROAN) 901 00:43:12,799 --> 00:43:16,928 Howard! I gave you uninterrupted access to our room for 27 minutes. 902 00:43:17,011 --> 00:43:18,387 What the fuck were you doing? 903 00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:20,431 Ten bucks says they were doing a puzzle. 904 00:43:20,515 --> 00:43:22,016 Tell me you weren't doing a puzzle. 905 00:43:23,935 --> 00:43:24,936 (GASPS) 906 00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,355 - Yeah. - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 907 00:43:27,438 --> 00:43:30,066 Twenty-seven minutes is not long enough to do a puzzle, 908 00:43:30,149 --> 00:43:33,277 - or have sex, for that matter. - That's an episode of Chopped. 909 00:43:33,361 --> 00:43:35,905 Do you need longer than an episode of Chopped to have sex? 910 00:43:35,988 --> 00:43:38,116 Seriously. Spill. Did you make any progress? 911 00:43:41,786 --> 00:43:43,871 Coming out was a mess. 912 00:43:43,955 --> 00:43:46,958 My mom, she definitely took it a little bit better. 913 00:43:47,792 --> 00:43:48,751 But my dad... 914 00:43:49,544 --> 00:43:52,338 Only son and all that typical dad shit. 915 00:43:53,422 --> 00:43:55,383 But that's why my friends... 916 00:43:55,550 --> 00:43:59,262 You know, you find the family that can fill in the gaps. 917 00:44:00,179 --> 00:44:02,056 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 918 00:44:03,349 --> 00:44:06,102 Shut up! Get to the good part. 919 00:44:06,853 --> 00:44:07,854 What? 920 00:44:07,937 --> 00:44:09,939 You're just really smart 921 00:44:11,357 --> 00:44:12,483 and funny, 922 00:44:14,235 --> 00:44:15,361 and, um... 923 00:44:16,571 --> 00:44:17,697 And... 924 00:44:20,491 --> 00:44:22,869 (ALL CHEERING AND EXCLAIMING) 925 00:44:22,952 --> 00:44:24,036 Was there tongue? 926 00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:25,121 Okay, awesome. 927 00:44:25,204 --> 00:44:28,416 So you've laid the groundwork perfectly to seal the deal tonight. 928 00:44:28,499 --> 00:44:30,168 - But tonight's underwear party. - Yeah. 929 00:44:30,251 --> 00:44:32,753 You take him into the dark room, get fucked, we all move on. 930 00:44:32,837 --> 00:44:35,047 In the dark room? In front of everyone? 931 00:44:35,131 --> 00:44:36,507 Why do you care so much? 932 00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,844 Because I'm not getting laid until you do, and my blue balls are terminal. 933 00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:42,847 Get laid, please. God. It's like your thing. 934 00:44:42,930 --> 00:44:44,140 Plus, Dex seems like a lock. 935 00:44:44,223 --> 00:44:47,935 Okay, you know what, I'm sorry, he flirts with all of us. So shut up. 936 00:44:49,520 --> 00:44:52,315 I don't know why you guys don't think of me as more of a threat. 937 00:44:52,398 --> 00:44:54,734 'Cause Dex was giving me eyes last night. 938 00:44:54,817 --> 00:44:55,985 Me, too. 939 00:44:56,068 --> 00:44:57,069 No, he wasn't. 940 00:44:57,695 --> 00:45:00,281 Now you two salivating over a basic white guy again. 941 00:45:00,364 --> 00:45:01,949 NOAH: Okay, whatever. Dex is great. 942 00:45:02,033 --> 00:45:04,202 And fringe benefit, he really pisses off Will. 943 00:45:04,285 --> 00:45:06,454 I think Will might be a little bit jealous. 944 00:45:06,579 --> 00:45:07,622 NOAH: What? 945 00:45:08,497 --> 00:45:10,917 - A little bit jealous. - Of who? 946 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:12,126 (SCOFFS) Can you stop? 947 00:45:12,210 --> 00:45:13,502 What? I need the pump. 948 00:45:14,170 --> 00:45:17,006 Maybe Will is jealous of Dex? Or you? 949 00:45:17,089 --> 00:45:20,301 No. Dex gave me the download. Will thinks we're trash. 950 00:45:20,384 --> 00:45:22,470 He might be a little bit more complex than that. 951 00:45:22,553 --> 00:45:24,222 (SNICKERS) Who told you that? Charlie? 952 00:45:24,305 --> 00:45:27,892 No, but also Charlie wouldn't be friends with a complete asshole. 953 00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:31,687 Whatever. That guy is just another token Asian in a sea of white friends. 954 00:45:31,771 --> 00:45:33,314 Way harsh, Tai. 955 00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:37,485 I really think you might be wrong about this. 956 00:45:37,568 --> 00:45:41,197 - LUKE: Keegan, did you paint on abs? - KEEGAN: I just did a little highlight. 957 00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:45,034 HOWIE: I've got three roaches, two bags with maybe one bump between them, 958 00:45:45,117 --> 00:45:46,577 and an old bottle of poppers. 959 00:45:46,661 --> 00:45:48,412 I stole a couple of my brother's Adderall 960 00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:51,499 and if you take it with half an edible, it's basically Molly. 961 00:45:51,958 --> 00:45:54,627 I found this on the ground at Battle Hymn a couple weeks ago. 962 00:45:54,710 --> 00:45:57,129 It could be Molly, or it could be, like, a probiotic. 963 00:45:57,213 --> 00:45:59,548 Mm. Interesting. I've got half a bottle of G 964 00:45:59,632 --> 00:46:01,968 and also a full bag of K that I got in Mexico. 965 00:46:02,051 --> 00:46:05,388 - ALL: Oh! - I'm not doing drugs tonight. 966 00:46:05,471 --> 00:46:06,681 - Okay. - I'll take that. 967 00:46:06,764 --> 00:46:09,475 - Yeah, I'm gonna take... - None of you are gonna pressure me? 968 00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:11,686 Well, you don't do drugs. That's not news. 969 00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:12,979 Yeah, babe, we love you, 970 00:46:13,062 --> 00:46:16,065 you're family to us, but we no longer believe we can make you fun. 971 00:46:16,148 --> 00:46:17,775 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 972 00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:19,694 Is it down in one? Or how do I... 973 00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:21,279 - ERIN: Save some drugs for me. - No. 974 00:46:21,362 --> 00:46:22,780 - Oh, hey, girl. - Hey. 975 00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:25,533 - Sure you don't wanna come with us? - To Cherry Grove? 976 00:46:25,616 --> 00:46:28,828 - You know I'm not allowed. - Seriously? That fire was ten years ago. 977 00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:33,291 Lesbians never forget. Besides, I have so much to do here. 978 00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:36,085 You'll have a good time. You don't need me. 979 00:46:36,961 --> 00:46:38,504 - I'll be fine. - We love you. 980 00:46:38,587 --> 00:46:41,549 I love you, too. I'll miss you, too. 981 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:45,052 I know, I know, I love you, miss you. I love you. 982 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:48,180 Don't forget to hydrate. So much to do. 983 00:46:50,308 --> 00:46:51,309 (DOOR CLOSES) 984 00:46:51,684 --> 00:46:52,685 (LUKE GROANS) 985 00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:55,938 Cherry Grove is so far. We should've taken a water taxi. 986 00:46:56,022 --> 00:46:58,691 Because Charlie said his house was taking a water taxi. 987 00:46:58,774 --> 00:47:01,027 Girl, the water taxi is nine bucks per person. 988 00:47:01,110 --> 00:47:03,362 Know how many water bottles we could get for that? 989 00:47:03,446 --> 00:47:04,613 - One? - Exactly. 990 00:47:04,697 --> 00:47:06,115 We'll take one when we go back. 991 00:47:06,198 --> 00:47:07,908 It's better when you're fucked up anyway. 992 00:47:07,992 --> 00:47:09,160 - Ah. - Oh. 993 00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:12,079 NOAH: We're here. Okay, look alive, everybody. 994 00:47:12,204 --> 00:47:14,623 This might be the last time we get to do this together, 995 00:47:14,707 --> 00:47:16,542 so let's make it count. 996 00:47:16,625 --> 00:47:19,503 Should we pray? I feel like we should pray. 997 00:47:19,628 --> 00:47:22,381 I'm gonna get so fucked up tonight I forget my own name. 998 00:47:22,465 --> 00:47:23,507 Amen. 999 00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:26,427 (ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1000 00:47:27,845 --> 00:47:29,889 NOAH: No week on Fire Island would be complete 1001 00:47:29,972 --> 00:47:33,142 if you didn't make an appearance at the underwear party. 1002 00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:36,729 It's the one party where everyone is invited. 1003 00:47:37,521 --> 00:47:41,859 The price of admission, just 20 bucks and a little bit of dignity. 1004 00:47:41,942 --> 00:47:43,235 Now, let's get in there. 1005 00:47:43,319 --> 00:47:45,654 - And get fucked up! - Yay! (LAUGHS) 1006 00:47:45,738 --> 00:47:47,698 ALL: Three, two, one. 1007 00:47:52,661 --> 00:47:55,039 Are you sure you should be taking Luke's floor pill? 1008 00:47:55,122 --> 00:47:56,374 We don't even know what it is. 1009 00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:58,542 Whatever. The world's gonna end in 15 years anyways. 1010 00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:01,128 I might as well go out in my underwear tonight. Right, guys? 1011 00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:02,922 - (LUKE WHOOPING) - (KEEGAN LAUGHING) 1012 00:48:03,214 --> 00:48:04,924 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 1013 00:48:08,803 --> 00:48:09,887 Do you see Charlie? 1014 00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:12,306 No, but I have a lead. 1015 00:48:13,015 --> 00:48:15,017 - HOWIE: Let's go talk to him. - Do we have to? 1016 00:48:15,101 --> 00:48:16,685 He's not even wearing his underwear. 1017 00:48:16,769 --> 00:48:18,771 If you're gonna be at the party, be at the party. 1018 00:48:18,854 --> 00:48:20,064 Come on. Be nice. 1019 00:48:24,985 --> 00:48:27,238 Hey. Is Charlie with you? 1020 00:48:27,822 --> 00:48:30,199 - I think he's outside. - We should go outside then... 1021 00:48:30,282 --> 00:48:33,953 No, I'll go. You stay in case he comes back. 1022 00:48:34,078 --> 00:48:37,415 - That doesn't make any sense. - Yes, it does. 1023 00:48:39,375 --> 00:48:41,335 (ELECTRONIC DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 1024 00:49:09,530 --> 00:49:12,533 NOAH: So, this has to be the drugs, right? 1025 00:49:28,382 --> 00:49:31,260 Hi. Got a quick sec? 1026 00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:32,344 Yeah. Sure. 1027 00:49:39,477 --> 00:49:41,312 Sorry to pull you away, it's just... 1028 00:49:41,937 --> 00:49:45,941 I wanted to talk to you about something, and it's a little awkward. 1029 00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,402 No worries. What's up? 1030 00:49:49,069 --> 00:49:51,614 I wanted to talk to you about Will. 1031 00:49:51,697 --> 00:49:53,574 Oh. Okay. Why? 1032 00:49:53,657 --> 00:49:57,328 He's such a great guy, right? And, like, so rich. 1033 00:49:57,411 --> 00:50:01,457 He owns a huge house in the Hills. I think he comes from money. 1034 00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:04,585 He's got, like, that rich, prep-school kind of trauma, 1035 00:50:04,793 --> 00:50:06,504 that's why his voice is so deep. 1036 00:50:07,713 --> 00:50:10,591 Plus he's, like, kind of hot, right? 1037 00:50:11,425 --> 00:50:13,511 - Sure. - So, you do think he's hot? 1038 00:50:14,178 --> 00:50:15,179 NOAH: Damn it. 1039 00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:16,514 COOPER: It's crazy, right? 1040 00:50:16,597 --> 00:50:19,391 I'm not normally into like that kind of guy, but... 1041 00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:20,726 Like, an Asian guy? 1042 00:50:22,102 --> 00:50:24,855 Oh, my God, I did not say that. You said that. 1043 00:50:24,939 --> 00:50:26,565 Don't project that on me. 1044 00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:29,068 I actually really love that he's of a different culture. 1045 00:50:29,151 --> 00:50:30,486 Plus, I think his mom is white. 1046 00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:34,532 Uh, I'm so sorry. What are we talking about? 1047 00:50:35,199 --> 00:50:38,786 I just wanted to tell you, because you're a friend, 1048 00:50:38,869 --> 00:50:42,039 that, like, Charlie sort of brought Will here to hook up with me. 1049 00:50:42,122 --> 00:50:44,875 I'm moving to L. A. next year and I need a starter boyfriend. 1050 00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:47,545 And I saw you circling, 1051 00:50:48,212 --> 00:50:50,798 and I just wanna make sure things don't get awkward. 1052 00:50:50,881 --> 00:50:52,841 - Okay, hon? - I was not circling Will. 1053 00:50:52,925 --> 00:50:55,052 DEX: Hey. I was looking for you. 1054 00:50:55,511 --> 00:50:56,512 Um... 1055 00:50:56,845 --> 00:51:01,475 There is an emergency inside. It's medical. It's a medical emergency. 1056 00:51:01,559 --> 00:51:05,020 Oh, my God. Well, then I should go because I'm a nurse. 1057 00:51:05,104 --> 00:51:08,440 And, yeah, so I'm gonna go. But good luck with your little mission. 1058 00:51:09,108 --> 00:51:10,693 There's no medical emergency, right? 1059 00:51:10,776 --> 00:51:13,988 No, I was just thinking we could go absolutely nuts on the dance floor. 1060 00:51:17,533 --> 00:51:18,784 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1061 00:51:44,935 --> 00:51:48,147 I can't deal with these feels in my body 1062 00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:50,733 NOAH: Yeah, so, this is usually the moment 1063 00:51:50,816 --> 00:51:54,653 where I completely debase myself in a sweaty back room full of strangers. 1064 00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:56,614 But... 1065 00:51:56,697 --> 00:51:57,906 Wait. Have you seen Howie? 1066 00:51:58,991 --> 00:52:02,536 Don't be crazy. Charlie is a lock. Howie is happy. 1067 00:52:02,786 --> 00:52:03,954 Mission accomplished. 1068 00:52:04,747 --> 00:52:06,874 (GROANS) You know who else said that? 1069 00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:08,292 George W. Bush. 1070 00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:10,753 What? 1071 00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:14,006 NOAH: Confirmed. The drugs have definitely kicked in. 1072 00:52:27,936 --> 00:52:28,937 Fuck. 1073 00:52:29,938 --> 00:52:30,939 I got this. 1074 00:52:42,951 --> 00:52:44,662 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1075 00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:47,539 Huh. 1076 00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:52,753 What's he looking for? 1077 00:52:53,754 --> 00:52:55,714 - Shit! - (GROANS) 1078 00:52:55,798 --> 00:52:59,760 Oh, fuck. I'm so sorry. Fuck. Let me see, let me see. 1079 00:52:59,843 --> 00:53:00,844 Oh. 1080 00:53:00,928 --> 00:53:03,430 Shit. How bad is it? What should I do? 1081 00:53:03,514 --> 00:53:04,640 In my professional opinion, 1082 00:53:04,723 --> 00:53:07,059 we need to shove a bunch of napkins up there. 1083 00:53:08,560 --> 00:53:11,939 Guys, if you wanna keep those jocks white, I would move. Get out of the way. 1084 00:53:12,022 --> 00:53:15,484 - Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? - I'm a little busy right now. 1085 00:53:15,567 --> 00:53:17,528 - Okay. Just be careful. - NOAH: What? 1086 00:53:17,611 --> 00:53:19,029 Dex is not a good guy. 1087 00:53:19,113 --> 00:53:21,281 - Why, because he has an OnlyFans? - What? No. 1088 00:53:21,365 --> 00:53:23,575 He doesn't have great things to say about you either. 1089 00:53:23,659 --> 00:53:26,954 Did I see you two naughty boys come out of the dark room together? 1090 00:53:27,037 --> 00:53:28,080 NOAH: Perfect. 1091 00:53:28,163 --> 00:53:30,582 It's so weird, Will, because he was just saying tonight 1092 00:53:30,666 --> 00:53:32,543 how he wasn't into you at all and now... 1093 00:53:32,626 --> 00:53:35,337 I didn't say that. I'm not, for the record, but... 1094 00:53:35,421 --> 00:53:36,588 Do my eyes look crazy? 1095 00:53:37,214 --> 00:53:39,466 My eyes look crazy. They're completely black. 1096 00:53:39,550 --> 00:53:42,177 No. They're fine... Actually, they are kind of weird. 1097 00:53:42,261 --> 00:53:43,262 What did you take? 1098 00:53:43,345 --> 00:53:45,222 I'm guessing he found some K. 1099 00:53:45,389 --> 00:53:48,392 Ketamine. Technically speaking, it's for horses. 1100 00:53:48,475 --> 00:53:50,269 - My God, is that Charlie? - NOAH: What? 1101 00:53:52,646 --> 00:53:54,022 Who the fuck is that? 1102 00:53:54,982 --> 00:53:57,359 And who is that? Is that me? 1103 00:53:57,568 --> 00:53:59,278 (GASPS) I'm gorgeous. 1104 00:53:59,361 --> 00:54:01,155 COOPER: That's Charlie's ex, Rhys. 1105 00:54:01,989 --> 00:54:03,866 We just flew him out this morning. 1106 00:54:03,949 --> 00:54:06,827 Well, I guess not "ex" anymore. 1107 00:54:06,910 --> 00:54:09,621 Yeah, Dex is the one I gotta watch out for. 1108 00:54:09,705 --> 00:54:11,123 I gotta find Howie. 1109 00:54:13,167 --> 00:54:14,585 - (CRYING) - Come on. 1110 00:54:17,671 --> 00:54:20,424 Um, you're gonna take this into the bathroom, fill it up, 1111 00:54:20,507 --> 00:54:22,843 and drink until you feel normal. Okay? 1112 00:54:22,926 --> 00:54:24,094 I am fine. 1113 00:54:25,429 --> 00:54:26,513 And smart. 1114 00:54:27,264 --> 00:54:28,265 And worth it. 1115 00:54:28,348 --> 00:54:31,977 Yes, baby, yes, you are. Now go hydrate. 1116 00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:33,103 (CRIES) 1117 00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:39,485 Hey. I found you. 1118 00:54:39,568 --> 00:54:40,861 Hey. 1119 00:54:41,278 --> 00:54:42,362 Ah. 1120 00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:44,948 I didn't even know I was lost. 1121 00:54:45,657 --> 00:54:46,784 (LAUGHS) Wow. 1122 00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:49,161 NOAH: MDMA. Molly. 1123 00:54:49,244 --> 00:54:52,039 Chemically impossible to have a bad night on it. 1124 00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:53,707 Even if you wanted to. 1125 00:54:53,791 --> 00:54:55,626 So, did you ever find Charlie? 1126 00:54:56,376 --> 00:54:58,003 - You saw him with that... - Oh, yeah. 1127 00:54:58,086 --> 00:55:01,340 That fucking Zac Efron-looking guy he's dry humping? 1128 00:55:01,423 --> 00:55:04,802 No, good for him. I love Neighbors 2. 1129 00:55:04,885 --> 00:55:07,971 It's the rare sequel that surpasses the original. 1130 00:55:08,806 --> 00:55:09,848 Are you okay? 1131 00:55:09,932 --> 00:55:12,559 I mean, you saw the guy. It's game over. 1132 00:55:12,643 --> 00:55:14,436 No. The night is young. You... 1133 00:55:14,520 --> 00:55:18,816 - Yeah, I can fuck anybody I want. - Oh. 1134 00:55:19,191 --> 00:55:23,904 - Let's get you off the ground, babe. - No, the ground is the new chair, baby! 1135 00:55:24,530 --> 00:55:26,156 Oh, fuck Charlie. 1136 00:55:26,240 --> 00:55:29,034 Next time, let's just stick to someone in my league. 1137 00:55:29,117 --> 00:55:30,869 - No, that's not... - Girl. 1138 00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:33,330 I just overheard some hot-ass people 1139 00:55:33,413 --> 00:55:36,124 talking about after kiki on Bay Walk. 1140 00:55:36,208 --> 00:55:37,584 And so many people going 1141 00:55:37,668 --> 00:55:39,711 that they not gonna know we wasn't invited. 1142 00:55:41,338 --> 00:55:42,548 Is he okay? 1143 00:55:42,631 --> 00:55:43,841 And that's G. 1144 00:55:43,924 --> 00:55:47,594 You do a little too much and you end up looking like, well, that. 1145 00:55:47,678 --> 00:55:49,221 Yeah, he fine. Can we go? 1146 00:55:49,304 --> 00:55:51,223 Yeah, we definitely need to get out of here. 1147 00:55:51,306 --> 00:55:53,851 You deal with that and I'm gonna go find Max. 1148 00:55:53,934 --> 00:55:56,103 Girl, what you doing? You gotta go to that party. 1149 00:55:56,186 --> 00:55:57,521 Okay. Okay. 1150 00:55:58,689 --> 00:56:00,274 (BOTH LAUGH AND CHEER) 1151 00:56:00,607 --> 00:56:02,025 KEEGAN: It's gonna be wild. 1152 00:56:02,609 --> 00:56:05,988 Max. Come on, Max, we gotta go. 1153 00:56:06,071 --> 00:56:07,281 What's a... Oh. 1154 00:56:07,364 --> 00:56:09,408 - MAN: Can I just shit in peace? - Shit. 1155 00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:10,742 At a party. 1156 00:56:12,870 --> 00:56:13,871 Hey. 1157 00:56:16,081 --> 00:56:19,126 If you're looking for your friends, they just got on a water taxi. 1158 00:56:19,209 --> 00:56:23,463 What? Those bitches. I'm the one without a phone. 1159 00:56:23,547 --> 00:56:26,550 I think it was the last taxi out and they panicked. 1160 00:56:26,633 --> 00:56:28,510 I told them I'd come find you. 1161 00:56:30,012 --> 00:56:31,555 I know where they're going, 1162 00:56:31,638 --> 00:56:34,308 we'd just have to cut through the Meat Rack. 1163 00:56:36,143 --> 00:56:37,144 Perfect. 1164 00:56:41,106 --> 00:56:42,649 You coming or what? 1165 00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:48,447 Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck! 1166 00:56:49,323 --> 00:56:52,951 For somebody who reads so much, you have a very narrow vocabulary. 1167 00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:54,411 You're really boring, you know? 1168 00:56:54,494 --> 00:56:56,371 Because I don't speak like a 13-year-old? 1169 00:56:56,455 --> 00:56:59,374 No. Because you're rude, elitist, smug, hell a judgmental... 1170 00:56:59,458 --> 00:57:01,585 You seem to have a lot of opinions about someone 1171 00:57:01,668 --> 00:57:03,253 you've only known for three days. 1172 00:57:03,337 --> 00:57:06,673 That's funny. You had a lot of opinions about me after what? Three hours? 1173 00:57:06,757 --> 00:57:09,092 - What're You talking about? - God, how did you put it? 1174 00:57:09,176 --> 00:57:11,511 "He's not hot enough to be that annoying"? 1175 00:57:11,595 --> 00:57:13,013 Did Charlie tell you I said that? 1176 00:57:13,096 --> 00:57:14,640 That's what you're concerned about? 1177 00:57:14,723 --> 00:57:17,601 - No, I'm sorry, I just... - No, Charlie didn't tell me. 1178 00:57:17,684 --> 00:57:18,810 Are you happy? 1179 00:57:18,894 --> 00:57:20,437 God, say what you will about me, 1180 00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:23,106 but you barely even met Howie before you and your crew 1181 00:57:23,190 --> 00:57:25,150 decided he wasn't good enough for Charlie. 1182 00:57:25,233 --> 00:57:28,654 And then to pull this shit. Literally airdropping in his ex from Manhattan. 1183 00:57:28,737 --> 00:57:29,780 That's psychotic. 1184 00:57:29,863 --> 00:57:32,741 I didn't have anything to do with Rhys coming here. That was Cooper. 1185 00:57:32,824 --> 00:57:35,702 I can't stand Rhys. For the record, I like your friend. 1186 00:57:35,786 --> 00:57:37,829 Anything I did, I was doing to protect Charlie. 1187 00:57:37,913 --> 00:57:41,458 Protect Charlie? From who? From Howie? 1188 00:57:41,541 --> 00:57:45,128 Have you met him? I should've been protecting him from all of you people. 1189 00:57:45,212 --> 00:57:48,006 "You people"? What do I have in common with any of them? 1190 00:57:48,090 --> 00:57:51,259 I've never met somebody who made it so clear, so immediately, 1191 00:57:51,343 --> 00:57:53,762 that they think they're so superior than everybody else. 1192 00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:55,847 First I thought it was because you were rich, 1193 00:57:55,931 --> 00:57:57,599 but it's actually deeper than that. 1194 00:57:57,683 --> 00:58:00,811 You think if you let everybody know how miserable you are being gay, 1195 00:58:00,894 --> 00:58:02,729 it'll make you less of a faggot than us. 1196 00:58:02,813 --> 00:58:04,272 I don't think I'm better than you. 1197 00:58:04,356 --> 00:58:06,233 - You don't have to, everybody else does. - Who? 1198 00:58:06,316 --> 00:58:09,277 The whole fucking world. Dude, look at us. 1199 00:58:09,361 --> 00:58:11,905 Okay, you're this big, rich, successful lawyer 1200 00:58:11,989 --> 00:58:14,032 who might as well be straight. And I'm not. 1201 00:58:14,116 --> 00:58:15,659 You are spectacular. 1202 00:58:15,742 --> 00:58:18,245 You think you've got the whole world figured out, 1203 00:58:18,328 --> 00:58:20,747 but all you're doing is assuming the worst. 1204 00:58:20,831 --> 00:58:23,667 Makes it easier for you. You expect everyone to reject you, 1205 00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:25,836 so when somebody comes along and actually does, 1206 00:58:25,919 --> 00:58:27,421 it doesn't hurt so much. 1207 00:58:29,381 --> 00:58:31,174 The reality is, Noah, 1208 00:58:32,884 --> 00:58:34,845 no one's thinking that much about you. 1209 00:58:35,887 --> 00:58:39,224 You know what, I don't give a shit what you think about me. 1210 00:58:39,307 --> 00:58:41,601 - Fuck! - Oh, shit. You okay? 1211 00:58:41,685 --> 00:58:43,186 I'm fine. I got this. 1212 00:58:43,270 --> 00:58:45,230 (THUNDER RUMBLING) 1213 00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:49,609 What are you doing? 1214 00:58:50,861 --> 00:58:51,862 You hate me. 1215 00:58:54,322 --> 00:58:56,616 I... I have to go. I'm gonna go. 1216 00:58:56,700 --> 00:58:58,785 And maybe you should just... 1217 00:58:58,869 --> 00:59:00,746 You know what, do whatever you want. 1218 00:59:05,917 --> 00:59:07,878 (MUFFLED ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1219 00:59:15,510 --> 00:59:16,511 DEX: Hey. 1220 00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:18,388 Oh, hey. 1221 00:59:23,935 --> 00:59:26,897 - What happened to you? - Uh, have you seen Howie? 1222 00:59:26,980 --> 00:59:29,858 I can't find Luke. I think he's falling out. 1223 00:59:29,941 --> 00:59:31,026 Is that news? 1224 00:59:31,109 --> 00:59:32,819 Well, we have to get him home. 1225 00:59:32,903 --> 00:59:34,863 Okay, go find Howie. I'll take care of this. 1226 00:59:34,946 --> 00:59:36,031 Thank you. 1227 00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:40,869 (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) 1228 00:59:48,710 --> 00:59:50,462 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1229 00:59:56,301 --> 00:59:58,303 (POP MUSIC PLAYING) 1230 01:00:03,058 --> 01:00:04,059 Howie? 1231 01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:07,229 (ALL SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) 1232 01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:09,439 Okay, thank you. Worth a shot. 1233 01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:13,443 Hey, you will never guess what just happened to me. 1234 01:00:14,111 --> 01:00:16,363 You fell in a bunch of mud? 1235 01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:18,573 Uh, yeah. Do you wanna get out of here? 1236 01:00:18,657 --> 01:00:20,909 Actually, he was just about to leave with me. 1237 01:00:20,992 --> 01:00:23,411 - NOAH: Uh, no, he's not. - Jealous. 1238 01:00:24,371 --> 01:00:27,624 You know, I've got a big bed, room enough for three. 1239 01:00:27,707 --> 01:00:30,001 - Thanks. But we're gonna pass. - I'm not. 1240 01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:31,545 What? 1241 01:00:33,255 --> 01:00:34,589 Can you excuse us for a second? 1242 01:00:34,673 --> 01:00:37,926 - I need to talk to you upstairs. - HOWIE: What are you doing? What? 1243 01:00:41,888 --> 01:00:44,641 - What are you doing? - Exactly what you told me to do. 1244 01:00:44,724 --> 01:00:47,102 Not with that guy, though. Anybody but that guy. 1245 01:00:47,185 --> 01:00:48,186 - He's into me. - Yeah. 1246 01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:52,858 And he has, like, five anime tattoos. You said no settling, that is settling. 1247 01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:55,610 And you said this was supposed to make me feel good. 1248 01:00:55,694 --> 01:00:59,614 Well, guess what? I don't feel good. I feel really fucking bad right now. 1249 01:00:59,698 --> 01:01:02,033 But fucking some rice queen won't make you feel better. 1250 01:01:02,117 --> 01:01:04,578 - There are plenty of other guys... - For you! 1251 01:01:04,661 --> 01:01:05,662 For you, too! 1252 01:01:05,745 --> 01:01:08,832 No, stop it. Stop talking about this like we're the same! 1253 01:01:10,584 --> 01:01:11,543 But we are. 1254 01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:13,587 You and me. Fuck the rest. 1255 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:14,671 No, stop! 1256 01:01:14,754 --> 01:01:18,884 You wanna feel so good so badly that you did all this. 1257 01:01:19,551 --> 01:01:22,721 And now you want me to feel good, too. Because you... 1258 01:01:22,804 --> 01:01:25,682 I don't know, you feel guilty? I don't really give a shit. 1259 01:01:25,765 --> 01:01:30,187 But stop pretending like you don't understand how the world works. 1260 01:01:33,148 --> 01:01:34,357 That's really unfair. 1261 01:01:35,609 --> 01:01:36,693 Fuck you. 1262 01:02:06,890 --> 01:02:07,933 (SIGHS SOFTLY) 1263 01:02:28,620 --> 01:02:32,540 NOAH: Don't tell anybody, but I think I might've fucked up. 1264 01:02:43,802 --> 01:02:45,804 - I cannot believe you left us there. - Wake up! 1265 01:02:45,887 --> 01:02:48,974 - How are you still sleeping? - MAX: I was out of my mind! Okay? 1266 01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:51,059 - KEEGAN: You still rolling, girl. - One at a time. 1267 01:02:51,142 --> 01:02:53,228 - Howie still isn't home. - Neither is Luke. 1268 01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:56,147 Thanks for your help last night. 'Cause now he's missing. 1269 01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:58,483 I swear, if something happened to him... 1270 01:02:58,566 --> 01:03:00,527 Like, we were making a podcast. 1271 01:03:00,610 --> 01:03:01,820 And this came for you. 1272 01:03:02,654 --> 01:03:03,863 What the fuck is this? 1273 01:03:03,947 --> 01:03:08,118 Oh, that horrible friend of Charlie's... What's his name? Wu? Womb? 1274 01:03:08,201 --> 01:03:12,163 Will? Is this a letter? What does it say? 1275 01:03:12,247 --> 01:03:14,582 We don't know. Max wouldn't let us read it. 1276 01:03:17,210 --> 01:03:20,255 Oh, okay. I'm gonna go read this inside. 1277 01:03:20,338 --> 01:03:23,800 Wait! Can you at least tell us what it says? 1278 01:03:23,883 --> 01:03:27,345 Please? Come on, we are so bored, girl. 1279 01:03:31,141 --> 01:03:34,394 WILL: "Hey. I know this isn't the ideal way to do this, 1280 01:03:34,477 --> 01:03:37,022 "but you don't have a phone at the moment, 1281 01:03:37,105 --> 01:03:41,401 "and I thought it might be best to do this sooner rather than later. 1282 01:03:42,319 --> 01:03:44,154 "So, let me say, sincerely, 1283 01:03:45,613 --> 01:03:46,823 "I'm sorry. 1284 01:03:50,952 --> 01:03:52,829 "For what I said that first night. 1285 01:03:54,331 --> 01:03:55,498 "For everything. 1286 01:03:58,710 --> 01:04:03,256 "Beyond that, I did wanna clarify one thing, about Dex. 1287 01:04:04,507 --> 01:04:07,177 "He's not the person he presents himself to be. 1288 01:04:09,471 --> 01:04:11,806 "I promise, my dislike of him has nothing to do 1289 01:04:11,890 --> 01:04:13,266 "with whatever he told you, 1290 01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:16,853 "and everything to do with what he did to someone I'm close to. 1291 01:04:17,937 --> 01:04:22,442 "Just know he is exceptionally good at hiding who he really is. 1292 01:04:23,276 --> 01:04:24,986 "I hope you can forgive me, 1293 01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:28,656 "and that maybe eventually we could even be friends. 1294 01:04:29,574 --> 01:04:31,159 "Sincerely, Will." 1295 01:04:33,495 --> 01:04:34,496 (SCOFFS) 1296 01:04:35,080 --> 01:04:36,122 What the fuck? 1297 01:04:37,374 --> 01:04:38,541 We have a situation. 1298 01:04:39,250 --> 01:04:40,835 What the fuck is he doing here? 1299 01:04:40,919 --> 01:04:43,088 He showed up saying he needed to talk to Howie. 1300 01:04:43,171 --> 01:04:46,091 They're in the one place that's impossible to eavesdrop on. 1301 01:04:46,174 --> 01:04:49,219 - NOAH: (SIGHS) When did Howie get back? - A little while ago. 1302 01:04:49,302 --> 01:04:51,346 Did something happen between you two? 1303 01:04:51,429 --> 01:04:55,016 I don't know. I think he... I think he blames me for that. 1304 01:04:55,100 --> 01:04:58,311 But I told him from the start, don't get sucked into one guy's orbit. 1305 01:04:58,395 --> 01:05:00,230 Especially that guy. 1306 01:05:00,313 --> 01:05:04,234 And I've been focused all week on him and his happiness and getting him laid. 1307 01:05:04,317 --> 01:05:06,861 And I didn't think it would solve all his problems, 1308 01:05:06,945 --> 01:05:09,781 but I thought I could make him feel hot and powerful for a week. 1309 01:05:09,864 --> 01:05:11,950 Is sex what makes you feel hot and powerful? 1310 01:05:12,033 --> 01:05:14,077 No. I'm hot and powerful, so I have a lot of sex. 1311 01:05:14,160 --> 01:05:16,955 I just thought I could reverse-engineer it a little bit. 1312 01:05:17,747 --> 01:05:20,834 But... I think I can still fix this. I just... 1313 01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,129 (SIGHS) I don't know. It's complicated. 1314 01:05:24,212 --> 01:05:26,339 "Complicated"? Please. Wanna know what I think... 1315 01:05:26,423 --> 01:05:29,551 Babe, I love you, but this is me and Howie. It's serious. 1316 01:05:29,634 --> 01:05:31,928 Oh. Fuck you. Listen. 1317 01:05:32,011 --> 01:05:34,764 I know you all think I'm some old, ridiculous burnout, 1318 01:05:34,848 --> 01:05:39,227 but I had a whole life before I met you, and it used to look a lot like yours. 1319 01:05:39,310 --> 01:05:41,438 I had lovers, and friends, 1320 01:05:41,521 --> 01:05:44,023 summers in Cherry Grove with lesbians my own age. 1321 01:05:44,107 --> 01:05:47,694 - And I thought I had it all figured out. - Babe, I know all your stories. 1322 01:05:47,777 --> 01:05:50,864 Yes, the fun ones. Not the ones where I fucked it up. 1323 01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:54,325 I tried to fix everyone, but what I was doing is, over time, 1324 01:05:54,409 --> 01:05:56,911 slowly pushing everyone I cared about out of my life. 1325 01:05:56,995 --> 01:06:00,248 Until my only friends were a group of boys half my age 1326 01:06:00,331 --> 01:06:03,001 who only put up with me because I have a house on Fire Island. 1327 01:06:03,084 --> 01:06:04,627 That's not true. We love you. 1328 01:06:04,711 --> 01:06:07,797 That's sweet. But you're missing the point. 1329 01:06:07,881 --> 01:06:10,175 Howie doesn't need anyone to fix him. 1330 01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:13,261 Not you, not this island, not anything. 1331 01:06:14,220 --> 01:06:16,139 He just needs a friend. 1332 01:06:16,222 --> 01:06:18,057 He'll be just fine. You'll see. 1333 01:06:23,188 --> 01:06:24,898 Oh, my God! My baby's drowning! 1334 01:06:30,195 --> 01:06:34,240 So Charlie's ex has Lyme disease? 1335 01:06:34,324 --> 01:06:36,075 - MAX: Seriously? - ERIN: Please. 1336 01:06:36,159 --> 01:06:38,453 KEEGAN: It's like that thing Yolanda Ha did has? 1337 01:06:39,204 --> 01:06:44,083 Yeah, he just found out. And, now, Charlie, you know... 1338 01:06:46,169 --> 01:06:49,339 Wants to be supportive because he says it's really serious. 1339 01:06:49,422 --> 01:06:51,549 NOAH: Oh, my God. That's clearly bullshit. 1340 01:06:51,633 --> 01:06:53,092 You saw that guy last night. He... 1341 01:06:53,176 --> 01:06:55,970 Yeah, Charlie probably made it up because he feels bad. 1342 01:06:56,054 --> 01:06:59,849 - No, that's not what I was gonna say. - What difference does it make? 1343 01:07:06,314 --> 01:07:07,315 (SCOFFS) 1344 01:07:36,177 --> 01:07:37,512 NOAH: I don't think so. 1345 01:07:42,141 --> 01:07:44,185 You just twist your blind a little bit. 1346 01:07:44,269 --> 01:07:45,436 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1347 01:07:45,687 --> 01:07:47,647 Leave the door ajar. 1348 01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:51,985 And let the whole salad bar hang out, honey. 1349 01:07:52,068 --> 01:07:53,778 (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) 1350 01:07:54,320 --> 01:07:56,364 So we brought sandwiches to the room... 1351 01:07:56,447 --> 01:07:57,991 - No microwave, honey. - Hey, weirdo. 1352 01:07:58,074 --> 01:07:59,993 You dropped your ice cream back there. 1353 01:08:00,702 --> 01:08:01,703 Oh. 1354 01:08:02,370 --> 01:08:03,955 I wasn't sure you'd want to see me. 1355 01:08:04,038 --> 01:08:06,165 So you ran away? 1356 01:08:06,249 --> 01:08:07,625 Returning the favor. 1357 01:08:07,709 --> 01:08:08,668 Very funny. 1358 01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:10,461 I got your letter. 1359 01:08:12,213 --> 01:08:13,256 I see. Uh... 1360 01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:15,842 - So are we... - Good? 1361 01:08:17,176 --> 01:08:18,219 We're good. 1362 01:08:18,886 --> 01:08:22,557 I am, however, a little pissed at your friend right now. Lyme disease? 1363 01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,475 You kidding me? Does he even like that guy? 1364 01:08:24,559 --> 01:08:27,854 I don't know. Can we... Can we talk about something else? 1365 01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:30,523 Sure. Let's talk about Dex. 1366 01:08:30,607 --> 01:08:33,568 You send me this weird letter like a Victorian ghost, 1367 01:08:33,651 --> 01:08:36,321 filled with all these vague details about the past. 1368 01:08:36,404 --> 01:08:38,156 It's not really my story to tell. 1369 01:08:38,406 --> 01:08:41,159 But look at this, and it'll give you a clearer picture 1370 01:08:41,242 --> 01:08:43,453 of the kind of person he really is. 1371 01:08:43,536 --> 01:08:45,413 He has an Instagram. What a villain. 1372 01:08:46,414 --> 01:08:48,791 Okay. So he has some thotty pictures. 1373 01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:51,878 But it doesn't make him a bad guy necessarily. 1374 01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:54,380 - Oh. - Just be careful. 1375 01:08:55,423 --> 01:08:56,883 You have to trust me. 1376 01:08:56,966 --> 01:08:58,676 Like we're friends or something? 1377 01:08:59,344 --> 01:09:00,428 Something like that. 1378 01:09:01,971 --> 01:09:04,140 - I'm not an easy guy to be friends with. - Shocking. 1379 01:09:04,223 --> 01:09:05,808 Oh, yeah, right. And you are? 1380 01:09:06,809 --> 01:09:10,063 DRAG QUEEN: 'Cause you know what? It's time for the dance-off! 1381 01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:12,106 I have a lot of friends, actually. 1382 01:09:13,149 --> 01:09:14,901 I'm a very fun-loving person. 1383 01:09:14,984 --> 01:09:16,569 - (CLICKS TONGUE) Really? - Yep. 1384 01:09:16,653 --> 01:09:17,654 Prove it. 1385 01:09:17,737 --> 01:09:20,823 I need some new blood though, honey. You come every single week. 1386 01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:21,908 - Good grief. - Over here! 1387 01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:25,078 - No. I... That wasn't... - You said you were fun. Be fun. 1388 01:09:25,161 --> 01:09:26,162 DRAG QUEEN: You, you. 1389 01:09:26,245 --> 01:09:28,247 - NOAH: Over here. - Honey, you had too many shots. 1390 01:09:28,331 --> 01:09:32,210 Yeah, very eager. Hey. Hi, gorgeous, come on up. 1391 01:09:32,293 --> 01:09:33,670 (IN SING-SONG VOICE) Hello! 1392 01:09:33,753 --> 01:09:35,672 Stand in line over here. 1393 01:09:35,755 --> 01:09:38,758 All right. So, what is your name? 1394 01:09:38,841 --> 01:09:39,842 Will. 1395 01:09:39,926 --> 01:09:42,887 Hi, Will. Everybody say hey! 1396 01:09:43,012 --> 01:09:44,097 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1397 01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:46,808 - Have you ever done a dance-off before? - No. 1398 01:09:47,975 --> 01:09:50,478 (LAUGHING) 1399 01:09:50,561 --> 01:09:53,314 Okay. Are you excited for the dance-off? 1400 01:09:53,398 --> 01:09:54,399 Yep. 1401 01:09:54,565 --> 01:09:56,484 (MIMICS ROBOT) "Yes, I'm excited." 1402 01:09:56,567 --> 01:09:57,735 (IN NORMAL VOICE) Okay. 1403 01:09:57,819 --> 01:09:59,862 DJ Max is gonna put on some music. 1404 01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:02,824 And you just, you know, shake your groove thing. Right? 1405 01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:06,160 - Y'all ready to see it? DJ, stick it in. - (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1406 01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:09,372 - (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) - Come on, everybody get sexy now. 1407 01:10:09,455 --> 01:10:12,959 Feel the beat. Okay, Will. 1408 01:10:13,876 --> 01:10:17,839 All right. Okay, get to the front. Let's see what you really got, honey. 1409 01:10:17,922 --> 01:10:19,340 All right, Will. Let's go. 1410 01:10:19,424 --> 01:10:20,425 Uh 1411 01:10:22,051 --> 01:10:23,094 Uh, uh 1412 01:10:23,177 --> 01:10:25,054 Get sexy. Ooh. Ooh. 1413 01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:26,639 (CHUCKLES) Get sexy. 1414 01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:29,600 Yeah. Okay, somebody's been studying! 1415 01:10:30,309 --> 01:10:33,438 Yes. That's right. Think Paula Abdul. 1416 01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:38,025 Yes, okay. Not RoboCop, Paula Abdul. 1417 01:10:38,401 --> 01:10:41,028 - (AUDIENCE MEMBER CHEERS) - (LAUGHS) 1418 01:10:41,571 --> 01:10:45,700 Oh, Will, babe. Okay, the '90s. Just straight up the '90s. 1419 01:10:45,867 --> 01:10:49,287 Okay. Yes, okay. West Side Story. 1420 01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:51,748 In the '90s. Okay! 1421 01:10:52,582 --> 01:10:53,666 Oh, Will! 1422 01:10:53,750 --> 01:10:55,293 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1423 01:10:56,544 --> 01:10:58,921 Okay. Okay, oh, yeah, yeah. 1424 01:10:59,088 --> 01:11:00,256 (LAUGHS) 1425 01:11:00,548 --> 01:11:02,884 You got your eye on somebody. All right! 1426 01:11:06,387 --> 01:11:09,015 (SOFT INDIE MUSIC PLAYING) 1427 01:12:18,751 --> 01:12:21,045 - KEEGAN: Girl, come on. Tell us. - Not now. Later. 1428 01:12:21,128 --> 01:12:22,588 - But we wanna know now. - Stop! 1429 01:12:22,672 --> 01:12:24,632 - You were gone forever yesterday. - Stop. 1430 01:12:24,715 --> 01:12:26,884 - And no texts, nothing. - We thought you were dead. 1431 01:12:26,968 --> 01:12:29,929 - Okay. Well, I'm here now. Okay? - Well, who was it? 1432 01:12:30,012 --> 01:12:31,722 Who even says I was with someone? 1433 01:12:31,806 --> 01:12:35,768 Guys, remember when he got locked in that guy's bathroom for six hours? 1434 01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:38,771 Maybe he got locked in two different bathrooms. That's half a day. 1435 01:12:38,855 --> 01:12:41,858 Okay. Well, for your information, actually, I was with a guy. 1436 01:12:41,941 --> 01:12:43,860 - I knew it. - LUKE: Sorry, Noah. 1437 01:12:43,943 --> 01:12:46,654 Looks like I'm the hot one now. 1438 01:12:46,737 --> 01:12:48,823 (MAN SINGING ON STAGE) 1439 01:12:50,157 --> 01:12:52,618 - He got locked in a bathroom again. - Without question. 1440 01:12:52,702 --> 01:12:53,870 (CHUCKLES) 1441 01:12:56,831 --> 01:12:59,792 Okay, ma'am, how long are you gonna be mad at me? 1442 01:12:59,876 --> 01:13:02,503 - Sir, I'm not mad at you. - This is the longest 1443 01:13:02,587 --> 01:13:05,590 you've not talked to me since I said Call Me By Your Name was boring. 1444 01:13:05,673 --> 01:13:08,050 I'm sorry it's not part of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 1445 01:13:08,134 --> 01:13:11,137 - EMCEE: Next, we've got Howie! - What? No, I didn't... 1446 01:13:11,220 --> 01:13:13,014 - LUKE: We did. You have to. - No, I can't... 1447 01:13:13,097 --> 01:13:14,682 KEEGAN: Come on. It's tradition. 1448 01:13:14,765 --> 01:13:16,893 - AUDIENCE MEMBER: Hey! - (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 1449 01:13:16,976 --> 01:13:18,477 (AUDIENCE WHISTLING) 1450 01:13:20,605 --> 01:13:21,731 (AUDIENCE MEMBER 2 WHOOPS) 1451 01:13:23,774 --> 01:13:25,109 (SOMETIMES PLAYING) 1452 01:13:25,359 --> 01:13:26,527 (AUDIENCE MEMBER 2 WHOOPS) 1453 01:13:33,993 --> 01:13:37,079 You tell me you're in love with me 1454 01:13:38,539 --> 01:13:43,044 Like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me 1455 01:13:43,669 --> 01:13:47,381 It's not that I don't wanna stay 1456 01:13:48,341 --> 01:13:52,345 But every time you come too close I move away 1457 01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:54,764 -BOTH: Ooh -I wanna believe 1458 01:13:54,847 --> 01:13:57,683 In everything that you say 1459 01:13:58,142 --> 01:14:01,228 'Cause it sounds so good 1460 01:14:01,312 --> 01:14:06,025 ALL: But if you really want me Move slow 1461 01:14:06,108 --> 01:14:09,946 There's things about me you just have to know 1462 01:14:10,029 --> 01:14:11,489 Sometimes I run 1463 01:14:12,657 --> 01:14:14,992 Sometimes I hide 1464 01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:17,787 Sometimes I'm scared of you 1465 01:14:17,870 --> 01:14:22,667 But all I really want is to hold you tight 1466 01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:27,713 Treat you right Be with you day and night 1467 01:14:27,797 --> 01:14:30,132 Baby, all I need is time 1468 01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,802 Just hang around and you'll see 1469 01:14:32,885 --> 01:14:35,596 There's nowhere I'd rather be 1470 01:14:35,680 --> 01:14:39,892 If you love me, trust in me 1471 01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:44,730 The way that I trust in you 1472 01:14:44,814 --> 01:14:46,399 MAN: We love you, girls! 1473 01:14:46,524 --> 01:14:48,067 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1474 01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:50,945 - (SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY) - (CHUCKLING) Shut up. 1475 01:14:53,114 --> 01:14:54,782 AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: I know all the words. 1476 01:14:54,865 --> 01:14:56,659 Sometimes I run 1477 01:14:56,742 --> 01:14:57,785 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 1478 01:14:57,868 --> 01:14:59,745 Sometimes I hide 1479 01:14:59,829 --> 01:15:03,124 Sometimes I'm scared of you 1480 01:15:03,207 --> 01:15:07,962 But all I really want is to hold you tight 1481 01:15:08,045 --> 01:15:12,717 Treat you right Be with you day and night 1482 01:15:12,800 --> 01:15:16,387 Baby, all I need is time 1483 01:15:16,470 --> 01:15:19,265 - AUDIENCE MEMBER 3: Give it to me! - (ALL CHEERING) 1484 01:15:23,352 --> 01:15:25,021 Come on, girls! 1485 01:15:26,522 --> 01:15:27,523 (SCREAMS) 1486 01:15:29,108 --> 01:15:31,027 (GASPING) 1487 01:15:31,152 --> 01:15:32,903 KEEGAN: Girl, what's the matter? 1488 01:15:32,987 --> 01:15:33,988 - More words, okay? - Luke! 1489 01:15:34,071 --> 01:15:36,615 - What's going on? - My poor Luke! 1490 01:15:36,699 --> 01:15:39,285 Poor me? What? Oh, my God. 1491 01:15:41,120 --> 01:15:42,163 Is that me? 1492 01:15:42,872 --> 01:15:43,956 What the fuck? 1493 01:15:46,417 --> 01:15:48,002 Fuck, is that Dex? 1494 01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:51,630 - Why are you in a video with Dex? - My friend Jonathan sent it to me. 1495 01:15:51,714 --> 01:15:54,675 Some guy named TJ screen-recorded it and sent it to Greg, 1496 01:15:54,759 --> 01:15:57,094 who recognized Luke, then sent it to Jonathan! 1497 01:15:57,178 --> 01:16:00,056 Probably half the cater-waiters on the Lower East Side have seen it. 1498 01:16:00,139 --> 01:16:02,475 There's not much to do between courses besides jerk off. 1499 01:16:02,558 --> 01:16:04,435 This is bad, that's my whole face. 1500 01:16:04,518 --> 01:16:07,188 Did he tell you he was gonna do that? If it was okay? 1501 01:16:07,271 --> 01:16:08,355 What do you think? 1502 01:16:08,439 --> 01:16:10,274 I don't know. I don't remember. 1503 01:16:10,357 --> 01:16:13,235 I was so fucked up I barely remember having sex with him. 1504 01:16:13,319 --> 01:16:14,320 This is not cool. 1505 01:16:14,403 --> 01:16:16,947 But I remember I woke up in the morning and he was there. 1506 01:16:17,031 --> 01:16:19,200 And we spent the whole day mostly fucking, 1507 01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:21,202 which I definitely consented to that. 1508 01:16:21,285 --> 01:16:24,330 And I thought the whole thing was kind of romantic until right now. 1509 01:16:24,413 --> 01:16:26,248 - NOAH: Give me that. - What are you gonna do? 1510 01:16:26,332 --> 01:16:28,834 Please don't do anything insane. Just have him take it down. 1511 01:16:28,918 --> 01:16:31,754 I don't want him mad at me, so don't be all Noah about it. 1512 01:16:31,837 --> 01:16:33,047 NOAH: I'm gonna kill him. 1513 01:16:33,130 --> 01:16:34,131 Sure. 1514 01:16:34,840 --> 01:16:38,094 - Luke, I'm so sor... - What the fuck! That is so fucked up! 1515 01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,471 You'll be happy to know you were right. 1516 01:16:40,554 --> 01:16:42,598 I'm gonna be honest. This feels like a trap. 1517 01:16:45,226 --> 01:16:47,561 - Why am I looking at pornography? - Look closer. 1518 01:16:49,897 --> 01:16:53,776 - I'm gonna kill him. - No, wait. I said that. That's my thing. 1519 01:16:56,779 --> 01:16:58,697 - Hey, what's up? - Fucking little shit! 1520 01:17:02,827 --> 01:17:04,870 - What the fuck? - Look familiar? 1521 01:17:04,954 --> 01:17:05,955 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) 1522 01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:08,791 Okay. I think there's been some kind of misunderstanding, okay? 1523 01:17:08,874 --> 01:17:10,042 You don't get to be dry. 1524 01:17:10,126 --> 01:17:13,045 If you're pissed because I fucked your friend instead of you, 1525 01:17:13,129 --> 01:17:14,839 - the least you could've... - Nice try. 1526 01:17:14,922 --> 01:17:18,300 I'm pissed because you're a loser and a fraud who takes advantage of people. 1527 01:17:18,384 --> 01:17:20,302 He was willing. More than I can say for you. 1528 01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:22,680 He didn't know you'd put this online! That's... 1529 01:17:22,763 --> 01:17:23,764 WILL: A crime. 1530 01:17:25,182 --> 01:17:27,685 Without some sort of written waiver of consent, 1531 01:17:27,768 --> 01:17:31,105 this meets the criteria under New York state law for revenge porn. 1532 01:17:32,189 --> 01:17:36,402 Add in the illegal substances involved and you're looking at jail time, 1533 01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:39,613 a hefty fine, and registration as a sex offender. 1534 01:17:39,697 --> 01:17:42,116 - Hold on. We do not have... - Speaking with the victim, 1535 01:17:42,199 --> 01:17:44,535 I think we can resolve this matter right now. 1536 01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:47,913 How? 1537 01:17:47,997 --> 01:17:51,709 WILL: Delete the video on your phone and your website for starters. 1538 01:17:51,792 --> 01:17:52,877 Now. 1539 01:17:54,295 --> 01:17:56,046 WILL: I would make it my personal mission 1540 01:17:56,130 --> 01:17:59,133 to make sure these videos disappear forever. 1541 01:17:59,216 --> 01:18:01,093 And you have to delete your Instagram. 1542 01:18:01,177 --> 01:18:03,971 - What? No way! - I don't think we can make him do that. 1543 01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:06,390 If a judge saw the Instagram, they'd be on my side. 1544 01:18:07,474 --> 01:18:08,851 Fuck, just check his phone. 1545 01:18:14,273 --> 01:18:15,816 Awesome. We're done here. 1546 01:18:19,278 --> 01:18:22,448 - Those are waterproof now, you know. - Don't ruin this for me. 1547 01:18:23,073 --> 01:18:25,201 NOAH: Shut the fuck up! You made that up? 1548 01:18:25,284 --> 01:18:30,247 Some of it. Some of it was a little bit of an exaggeration. 1549 01:18:30,331 --> 01:18:32,333 Holy shit! You Legally Blonde'd him. 1550 01:18:32,416 --> 01:18:34,710 - Oh, my God. - Sorry, I don't know what that is. 1551 01:18:35,878 --> 01:18:37,046 You don't know what... 1552 01:18:37,129 --> 01:18:40,841 Oh, my God! We were having such a nice moment, and you had to ruin it. 1553 01:18:40,925 --> 01:18:41,926 (CHUCKLES) 1554 01:18:42,009 --> 01:18:45,137 Is that what you do in L. A.? Big trial lawyer like the... 1555 01:18:45,221 --> 01:18:47,514 No, I work for a nonprofit. 1556 01:18:48,599 --> 01:18:51,810 Mostly tenants' rights stuff, wrongful evictions. 1557 01:18:51,894 --> 01:18:53,103 Nothing sexy. 1558 01:18:54,563 --> 01:18:55,606 Yeah. Sure. 1559 01:18:56,565 --> 01:18:58,692 I'm just happy that I could help, you know? 1560 01:18:59,777 --> 01:19:00,819 Dex, he... 1561 01:19:02,112 --> 01:19:06,367 He's never really been concerned about enthusiastic consent. 1562 01:19:06,450 --> 01:19:09,286 Just... I couldn't do much last time. 1563 01:19:09,370 --> 01:19:11,080 My friend, he was embarrassed, I think, 1564 01:19:11,163 --> 01:19:13,457 and didn't want us to talk about it, so we didn't. 1565 01:19:13,540 --> 01:19:15,334 And Dex got to keep his image. 1566 01:19:15,793 --> 01:19:18,462 Yeah, well, people will talk about it now. 1567 01:19:18,963 --> 01:19:20,339 I've got a real big mouth. 1568 01:19:20,422 --> 01:19:23,175 I don't know how things work in L. A., but in New York, 1569 01:19:23,259 --> 01:19:24,927 we've ostracized people for way less. 1570 01:19:25,636 --> 01:19:27,096 That's something, at least. 1571 01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:31,183 Hey, um... 1572 01:19:32,101 --> 01:19:34,687 Seriously, thank you. I owe you one. 1573 01:19:40,109 --> 01:19:41,819 Time on Fire Island... 1574 01:19:46,782 --> 01:19:49,535 Sometimes it feels like it stretches on forever. 1575 01:19:56,333 --> 01:19:57,418 LUKE: Hey! 1576 01:19:58,168 --> 01:19:59,253 So, what happened? 1577 01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:01,338 I'll be up in a minute. 1578 01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:03,090 LUKE: Come on. 1579 01:20:06,677 --> 01:20:07,928 Sure you don't wanna come up? 1580 01:20:08,012 --> 01:20:11,432 Yeah, no, I'm not very good at parties. So... 1581 01:20:11,515 --> 01:20:14,268 - What? You're not good at parties? - Uh... 1582 01:20:14,768 --> 01:20:16,937 - Not Will! No. - All right. 1583 01:20:17,021 --> 01:20:19,732 - Not good at parties? What? - Calm down. (CHUCKLES) 1584 01:20:31,618 --> 01:20:33,162 So I pushed him in the pool, 1585 01:20:33,245 --> 01:20:35,331 and he looked up at me and said, "I love you." 1586 01:20:35,414 --> 01:20:37,666 And I said, "You don't know what love is." 1587 01:20:37,750 --> 01:20:39,460 And then I realized, "You're ugly." 1588 01:20:39,543 --> 01:20:41,754 Can't believe you're letting him tell your story. 1589 01:20:41,837 --> 01:20:45,299 Yeah, I think this is just his way of processing things. 1590 01:20:46,800 --> 01:20:47,968 Where did Will go? 1591 01:20:48,427 --> 01:20:49,553 Why would I know that? 1592 01:20:49,636 --> 01:20:52,306 You don't have to do this. You don't have to worry about me. 1593 01:20:52,389 --> 01:20:54,183 You can fuck whoever you want. 1594 01:20:54,266 --> 01:20:57,311 Okay, that is definitely not what I am looking for. 1595 01:20:57,394 --> 01:21:00,147 And by the way, I'm not done worrying about you. 1596 01:21:00,230 --> 01:21:02,858 If I hadn't pushed you, literally pushed you, then... 1597 01:21:02,941 --> 01:21:05,736 I told you, I'm fine with the Charlie of it all. 1598 01:21:05,819 --> 01:21:08,280 - And honestly... - Are you talking about me? 1599 01:21:08,364 --> 01:21:10,824 No. We're talking about our other friend Charlie. 1600 01:21:11,492 --> 01:21:13,452 He died in a fire. 1601 01:21:13,535 --> 01:21:14,912 It's really sad. 1602 01:21:15,162 --> 01:21:17,039 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 1603 01:21:17,289 --> 01:21:19,541 - Ignore him. Did you have fun? - (CHUCKLES) 1604 01:21:19,708 --> 01:21:22,586 I did. Yes. We don't usually go to karaoke. 1605 01:21:22,753 --> 01:21:27,633 Just the parties. So, I was glad that you showed it to me before Rhys... 1606 01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:31,095 Choo-choo, where's my vodka soda? Baby's thirsty. 1607 01:21:31,762 --> 01:21:32,763 Uh... 1608 01:21:32,846 --> 01:21:36,975 Sorry, you guys don't know each other. Rhys, this is Howie and Noah. 1609 01:21:37,059 --> 01:21:40,270 Oh, my God, cute. Boyfriend twins! It's like looking in a mirror. 1610 01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:42,189 CHARLIE: Sweetie, they're not boyfriends. 1611 01:21:42,272 --> 01:21:43,941 Come on, let's go in and dance. 1612 01:21:44,024 --> 01:21:45,984 (WHISPERING) I'm horny, okay? 1613 01:21:46,777 --> 01:21:48,195 CHARLIE: I'll see you guys later? 1614 01:21:48,695 --> 01:21:50,280 - COOPER: Later, hons. - CHARLIE: Bye. 1615 01:21:50,364 --> 01:21:53,867 Yeah, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and scrub my eyeballs out. 1616 01:21:53,951 --> 01:21:55,702 Yeah, probably a good plan. Hey. 1617 01:21:57,037 --> 01:21:59,373 (BOTH MOUTHING) 1618 01:22:01,875 --> 01:22:03,669 You know what? Actually, let's do it later. 1619 01:22:03,752 --> 01:22:04,878 No. We're doing it now. 1620 01:22:07,423 --> 01:22:08,590 - Hey. - Hey. 1621 01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:11,093 (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Hey. Um... 1622 01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:12,428 How are you doing? 1623 01:22:13,137 --> 01:22:15,681 Look, you did not have to do that for me before. 1624 01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:17,641 Especially for me, 1625 01:22:17,724 --> 01:22:19,560 'cause I'm such a bitch to you all the time. 1626 01:22:19,643 --> 01:22:22,104 I know we're friends, but things are obviously different... 1627 01:22:22,187 --> 01:22:25,357 It's not even that we're friends, Luke. We're more than that. 1628 01:22:25,441 --> 01:22:29,736 We're family, right? Like, that means something to me. 1629 01:22:29,820 --> 01:22:31,321 Because you two and... 1630 01:22:31,405 --> 01:22:34,741 All you guys, you're, like, all I have. 1631 01:22:38,871 --> 01:22:42,124 Whatever. Are we gonna hug and wrap this up? How does this end? 1632 01:22:42,207 --> 01:22:44,084 Why don't we get fucked up and dance? 1633 01:22:44,918 --> 01:22:46,712 Come on. You're gonna be okay. 1634 01:22:46,795 --> 01:22:48,213 LUKE: Oh, I am? 1635 01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:49,756 - Are we gonna hug? - NOAH: No. 1636 01:22:52,634 --> 01:22:53,635 (GRUNTS) 1637 01:23:00,851 --> 01:23:01,852 What are you doing? 1638 01:23:04,021 --> 01:23:05,022 Don't be mad. 1639 01:23:06,482 --> 01:23:07,816 Howard. 1640 01:23:07,900 --> 01:23:11,528 I can't do it. I can't stay and see him... 1641 01:23:12,654 --> 01:23:14,740 Or see them together like that. 1642 01:23:14,823 --> 01:23:17,367 Oh, my God. You cannot end your vacation because of one guy. 1643 01:23:17,451 --> 01:23:21,663 It's not just about Charlie. It's a lifetime of Charlies. 1644 01:23:23,207 --> 01:23:26,668 I'm 30 and I've never had a boyfriend. I've never been in a relationship. 1645 01:23:26,752 --> 01:23:28,462 - I've never... - We've been through this. 1646 01:23:28,545 --> 01:23:31,340 Monogamy was created by straight people to make us less interesting. 1647 01:23:31,423 --> 01:23:35,427 Yeah, I've heard your TED talk. Listen. Please. 1648 01:23:38,305 --> 01:23:39,306 Okay. 1649 01:23:45,812 --> 01:23:47,397 You're the only person I know 1650 01:23:48,357 --> 01:23:51,360 who understands how shitty it can be sometimes 1651 01:23:52,486 --> 01:23:55,822 to feel unwanted like this. 1652 01:23:57,407 --> 01:23:59,993 And I'm so glad that you've found a way to feel good 1653 01:24:00,077 --> 01:24:03,247 despite all the fucked-up shit we deal with. 1654 01:24:03,705 --> 01:24:07,960 But you think that if you're vulnerable for just one second, 1655 01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:10,254 that it's all gonna come crashing down. 1656 01:24:10,337 --> 01:24:15,425 And maybe that's true for you, but it's not true for me. 1657 01:24:16,969 --> 01:24:18,595 I want to be vulnerable. 1658 01:24:19,638 --> 01:24:21,348 Even if it hurts. 1659 01:24:23,559 --> 01:24:26,520 Your rules, they don't work for me. 1660 01:24:27,813 --> 01:24:31,483 And honestly, I don't know that they're working for you either. 1661 01:24:33,694 --> 01:24:35,696 So let me be sad about this, 1662 01:24:36,738 --> 01:24:40,826 and deal with it and figure it out my own way. 1663 01:24:46,248 --> 01:24:48,959 Yeah, but my way you get to cum a bunch. 1664 01:24:49,042 --> 01:24:52,087 Oh, my God, I'm gonna masturbate so much when I get home. 1665 01:24:53,630 --> 01:24:55,674 What the fuck... (SIGHS) 1666 01:24:56,133 --> 01:24:57,259 When are you leaving? 1667 01:24:57,926 --> 01:24:59,011 Five o'clock ferry. 1668 01:24:59,094 --> 01:25:02,097 Oh, my God, you couldn't even stay for one last sunset? 1669 01:25:02,639 --> 01:25:05,350 This is the last time we're gonna be in our home together. 1670 01:25:05,434 --> 01:25:08,061 Our friendship isn't just limited to this island. 1671 01:25:08,604 --> 01:25:11,106 You know, you've never come to visit me in S. F. 1672 01:25:11,189 --> 01:25:13,108 I'm not flying Spirit for you, bitch. 1673 01:25:13,191 --> 01:25:14,192 (SCOFFS) 1674 01:25:15,277 --> 01:25:16,278 (SNIFFLES) 1675 01:25:18,113 --> 01:25:19,823 - Does Charlie know? - No. 1676 01:25:19,906 --> 01:25:22,159 Probably give me another pity conversation. 1677 01:25:22,242 --> 01:25:25,662 And at this point, it would make me feel even more pathetic. 1678 01:25:25,746 --> 01:25:27,039 Or he could, 1679 01:25:28,081 --> 01:25:30,667 you know, do one of those pre-9/11 rom-com moves, 1680 01:25:30,751 --> 01:25:33,420 you know, where somebody rushes through an airport 1681 01:25:33,503 --> 01:25:35,255 and stops you from getting on the plane. 1682 01:25:35,339 --> 01:25:38,759 And then, you kiss and it's awesome. 1683 01:25:38,967 --> 01:25:41,637 I thought you didn't want the rom-com bullshit for me. 1684 01:25:42,095 --> 01:25:45,223 Babe, all I want is for you to be happy. 1685 01:25:46,058 --> 01:25:47,100 Always. 1686 01:25:50,103 --> 01:25:52,481 Promise me you won't tell Charlie. 1687 01:25:54,191 --> 01:25:55,192 I promise. 1688 01:25:56,151 --> 01:25:57,152 Charlie! 1689 01:25:57,235 --> 01:25:59,029 I mean, you had to see that coming, right? 1690 01:25:59,112 --> 01:26:00,781 - Can we help you? - Help me? Yeah. 1691 01:26:00,864 --> 01:26:03,033 You could get a new fucking line, Braden. Jesus. 1692 01:26:03,241 --> 01:26:05,118 Wait, he's leaving? Why? 1693 01:26:05,202 --> 01:26:06,411 Do you need a hint? 1694 01:26:06,495 --> 01:26:09,956 Okay. Fair. Um, look, the timing of this is just really shitty. 1695 01:26:10,040 --> 01:26:12,542 - Fuck the timing. Go and stop him. - It's not that simple. 1696 01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:15,337 I've known Rhys since before I came out, and I owe him. 1697 01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:19,174 Listen, I get it. I get your whole nice guy schtick, all right? 1698 01:26:19,257 --> 01:26:22,469 But you have the chance at something real with Howie. 1699 01:26:22,552 --> 01:26:24,888 Something great. I don't really get it. 1700 01:26:24,971 --> 01:26:27,224 But what the fuck do I know? I've been wrong before. 1701 01:26:27,307 --> 01:26:28,558 I've been wrong a lot. 1702 01:26:29,017 --> 01:26:33,480 This week, especially, about people and situations and... 1703 01:26:36,566 --> 01:26:39,820 Stuff, okay? Maybe I was even wrong about you. 1704 01:26:39,903 --> 01:26:42,155 Maybe you're not the idiot that I thought you were. 1705 01:26:42,239 --> 01:26:43,740 Prove me wrong. Go and do something, 1706 01:26:43,824 --> 01:26:46,118 because if you fuck this up, it's game over. 1707 01:26:46,201 --> 01:26:48,870 - You won't get another shot. - COOPER: What are you doing? 1708 01:26:48,954 --> 01:26:51,581 - CHARLIE: Howie's leaving. - COOPER: Jesus. Are we still on this? 1709 01:26:51,665 --> 01:26:53,375 Nobody wants to fuck your friend. 1710 01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:56,378 Wait. You think Charlie likes that little Asian guy? 1711 01:26:56,461 --> 01:26:58,797 - Rhys. - I mean, come on. He's joking, right? 1712 01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:00,507 - You're the Amy Schumer one? - Enough. 1713 01:27:00,590 --> 01:27:02,259 - RHYS: But... - CHARLIE: I said, enough. 1714 01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:05,220 - What is wrong with you? - Yeah, I think I get the gist. 1715 01:27:06,430 --> 01:27:08,432 - Noah, I'm sorry. - You know what's funny? 1716 01:27:08,515 --> 01:27:10,058 I am the only person this week 1717 01:27:10,142 --> 01:27:12,561 who stopped to consider whether you deserved him. 1718 01:27:14,312 --> 01:27:15,939 You were right about this place. 1719 01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:23,113 I'm sorry. What is happening? 1720 01:27:30,454 --> 01:27:32,038 It's just not right. 1721 01:27:32,122 --> 01:27:34,708 - HOWIE: You'll barely notice I'm gone. - Not true. 1722 01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:37,335 (SIGHS) Where's Noah? 1723 01:27:37,419 --> 01:27:40,046 Probably taking one of Max's little walks in the Meat Rack. 1724 01:27:40,130 --> 01:27:42,799 For your information, I'm looking at constellations. 1725 01:27:42,883 --> 01:27:44,384 Oh, sweetie, give it a rest. 1726 01:27:44,468 --> 01:27:47,387 We all know you're getting your ass ate in the dunes. 1727 01:27:47,471 --> 01:27:49,389 NOAH: Sorry. Sorry. 1728 01:27:50,015 --> 01:27:52,267 You know me. Always late for the ferry. 1729 01:27:52,851 --> 01:27:54,519 Are you sure this is how you wanna go? 1730 01:27:56,313 --> 01:27:57,397 Yeah. I am. 1731 01:28:01,568 --> 01:28:02,986 Promise I'll come visit you. 1732 01:28:06,156 --> 01:28:07,157 Okay. 1733 01:28:27,552 --> 01:28:29,471 (FERRY BLOWS HORN) 1734 01:28:33,433 --> 01:28:37,771 Why does this feel like... Like the last summer here, like, ever? 1735 01:28:37,854 --> 01:28:39,481 'Cause it is, stupid. (KISSES) 1736 01:28:39,564 --> 01:28:40,857 Couldn't last forever. 1737 01:28:41,566 --> 01:28:43,235 Some things have to change. 1738 01:28:44,903 --> 01:28:46,822 Feels like all the wrong stuff is changing. 1739 01:29:13,974 --> 01:29:14,975 So, what's our plan? 1740 01:29:15,058 --> 01:29:18,270 To sort of stand here sadly in the direct sun all day, or... 1741 01:29:18,353 --> 01:29:20,105 You couldn't even give us a minute. 1742 01:29:20,188 --> 01:29:23,233 I know Howie. He would not want us to sit here and mope on the dock. 1743 01:29:23,316 --> 01:29:25,819 He would want us to do bumps of K by the pool. 1744 01:29:25,902 --> 01:29:27,237 - So let's go. - Fuck! 1745 01:29:27,320 --> 01:29:29,364 Did he get on? Did I miss him? 1746 01:29:29,447 --> 01:29:32,117 - What the fuck are you doing here? Hi. - Hey. 1747 01:29:32,200 --> 01:29:34,828 - I thought I could stop him. - You fucked that one up, buddy. 1748 01:29:34,911 --> 01:29:38,790 - He's halfway to the mainland by now. - So what should I do? Should I call him? 1749 01:29:38,874 --> 01:29:41,960 If you wanted to fix this, you'd have to do something really big, 1750 01:29:42,043 --> 01:29:44,212 something colossally stupid. 1751 01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:45,297 Okay. 1752 01:29:46,214 --> 01:29:48,383 I'm not sure I know what that means. 1753 01:29:48,466 --> 01:29:50,635 I have an idea. Follow me. 1754 01:29:50,719 --> 01:29:51,887 NOAH: Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1755 01:29:51,970 --> 01:29:53,138 What are you doing? 1756 01:29:53,221 --> 01:29:55,682 Something big. Something stupid. 1757 01:30:00,979 --> 01:30:03,148 I don't think I wanna be implicated in this. 1758 01:30:03,231 --> 01:30:05,734 - (CLICKS TONGUE) Ah. Come on. - (SIGHS) 1759 01:30:24,252 --> 01:30:25,503 ALL: (SHOUTING) Howie! 1760 01:30:25,587 --> 01:30:29,382 Howie! Howie! Howie! 1761 01:30:32,469 --> 01:30:34,012 (ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY) 1762 01:30:42,187 --> 01:30:44,022 Don't look over there. Look over here. 1763 01:30:44,105 --> 01:30:46,691 - What am I gonna say when I get there? - You'll figure it out. 1764 01:30:48,234 --> 01:30:49,235 (SIGHS) 1765 01:30:50,862 --> 01:30:53,114 NOAH: Whatever you do, stay on the dock. 1766 01:30:53,198 --> 01:30:55,033 HOWIE: I have a 6:15 train. 1767 01:30:55,116 --> 01:30:57,369 NOAH: I have a feeling you'll wanna hear this. 1768 01:30:57,452 --> 01:30:58,954 HOWIE: Okay, but why all the flags? 1769 01:30:59,037 --> 01:31:00,246 (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 1770 01:31:00,330 --> 01:31:02,791 Did you steal a water taxi? 1771 01:31:02,874 --> 01:31:05,543 We did. Yeah. There's a really angry lesbian on there. 1772 01:31:05,627 --> 01:31:08,713 Uh, look, I need to say that I'm sorry. 1773 01:31:08,797 --> 01:31:11,174 I'm really, really sorry for everything. 1774 01:31:11,257 --> 01:31:12,509 It's fine, Charlie. I'm fine. 1775 01:31:12,592 --> 01:31:15,220 No, it's not. Everything with Rhys, I... 1776 01:31:15,303 --> 01:31:16,346 I wasn't thinking. 1777 01:31:16,429 --> 01:31:17,847 I thought that I had to... 1778 01:31:18,848 --> 01:31:21,476 It doesn't matter what I thought. I was wrong. 1779 01:31:21,559 --> 01:31:23,895 Okay, Charlie, this is your big rom-com moment. 1780 01:31:23,979 --> 01:31:25,939 You gotta do something big. Something stupid. 1781 01:31:26,231 --> 01:31:27,273 I love you. 1782 01:31:27,357 --> 01:31:30,318 - ALL: Oh! - No. Too big. Too stupid. Dial it back. 1783 01:31:30,402 --> 01:31:32,112 HOWIE: Yeah, it's a little weird. 1784 01:31:32,362 --> 01:31:36,241 - We're not really there yet. - Yeah. Okay. All I'm trying to say is... 1785 01:31:37,742 --> 01:31:39,285 I don't know why this is so hard. 1786 01:31:39,369 --> 01:31:41,329 I gotta catch my shuttle or I'll miss my train. 1787 01:31:41,413 --> 01:31:43,206 No, wait. Okay, look... 1788 01:31:46,001 --> 01:31:47,585 I just need you to know 1789 01:31:48,378 --> 01:31:51,464 how fucking incredible I think that you are. 1790 01:31:53,008 --> 01:31:55,927 You are the most interesting man I have ever met, 1791 01:31:56,803 --> 01:31:59,973 and the funniest, and you're beautiful. 1792 01:32:02,058 --> 01:32:04,561 And I really, really like you. 1793 01:32:07,397 --> 01:32:09,983 I just wanted you to know that before you left. 1794 01:32:10,817 --> 01:32:12,235 And Noah said a bunch of stuff... 1795 01:32:12,318 --> 01:32:16,573 Oh, Jesus, please don't ever, ever listen to Noah. 1796 01:32:17,824 --> 01:32:18,867 Now you tell me. 1797 01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:24,622 You actually stole a boat for me? 1798 01:32:25,248 --> 01:32:27,208 I actually stole a boat for you. 1799 01:32:29,878 --> 01:32:31,212 (ALL CHEERING) 1800 01:32:45,643 --> 01:32:48,730 Okay, can we go to Cherry Grove now? 1801 01:32:48,813 --> 01:32:51,024 We will get there when we get there. 1802 01:33:02,744 --> 01:33:03,745 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1803 01:33:20,220 --> 01:33:23,264 NOAH: This whole time we were so worried about the house, 1804 01:33:24,557 --> 01:33:27,310 but it's never been about the house. 1805 01:33:29,562 --> 01:33:31,314 It's always been about the people. 1806 01:33:32,440 --> 01:33:33,525 We'll be fine. 1807 01:33:34,984 --> 01:33:36,236 We'll make new memories. 1808 01:33:38,238 --> 01:33:39,656 But when I look back on the years 1809 01:33:39,739 --> 01:33:42,075 I got to spend with my family on Fire Island... 1810 01:33:45,995 --> 01:33:47,372 This is what I'll remember. 1811 01:33:47,455 --> 01:33:49,165 (INAUDIBLE) 1812 01:34:08,643 --> 01:34:10,562 (NOAH BREATHES DEEPLY) 1813 01:34:12,355 --> 01:34:13,690 Today was a lot. 1814 01:34:13,773 --> 01:34:15,567 (BOTH LAUGH) 1815 01:34:16,484 --> 01:34:17,527 WILL: Yeah. 1816 01:34:18,486 --> 01:34:21,906 All that drama for what? Somebody you met five days ago. 1817 01:34:21,990 --> 01:34:24,617 Yeah, 'cause, I mean, what happens now? 1818 01:34:24,701 --> 01:34:27,495 Howie goes back to S. F., the Pines bubble bursts. 1819 01:34:27,871 --> 01:34:30,206 Then six months from now, they'll probably just be... 1820 01:34:30,290 --> 01:34:31,374 In love. 1821 01:34:32,792 --> 01:34:34,711 Maybe even happy. 1822 01:34:37,755 --> 01:34:40,258 Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right. 1823 01:34:40,341 --> 01:34:41,342 (CHUCKLES) 1824 01:34:41,634 --> 01:34:45,054 You know, I think that's what Howie always wanted out of these trips. 1825 01:34:45,138 --> 01:34:48,808 Come out here, meet some vacation boyfriend. 1826 01:34:48,892 --> 01:34:50,643 Lug him back to the real world. 1827 01:34:54,314 --> 01:34:55,440 What about you? 1828 01:34:57,358 --> 01:34:58,484 What do you want? 1829 01:35:01,821 --> 01:35:03,948 You know, it's so weird, I... 1830 01:35:04,032 --> 01:35:07,243 My whole life, I felt like I've had everything figured out, 1831 01:35:07,327 --> 01:35:08,745 everybody, 1832 01:35:08,828 --> 01:35:12,624 and then I come out here and I just keep getting thrown, you know? 1833 01:35:12,707 --> 01:35:16,419 It's like, God, have I been wrong about everything this week? 1834 01:35:17,837 --> 01:35:20,965 It feels longer, doesn't it? It's like time works... 1835 01:35:21,716 --> 01:35:23,384 It just works differently here. 1836 01:35:24,010 --> 01:35:25,762 Does that sound crazy? 1837 01:35:28,056 --> 01:35:29,057 Little bit. 1838 01:35:32,352 --> 01:35:34,062 What about you? What do you want? 1839 01:35:34,771 --> 01:35:37,065 You probably want some gay marriage nightmare. 1840 01:35:37,273 --> 01:35:39,776 Joint Instagram accounts, a French bulldog. 1841 01:35:39,859 --> 01:35:40,985 God, no! It's... 1842 01:35:41,986 --> 01:35:43,696 I don't think monogamy is for me. 1843 01:35:46,324 --> 01:35:47,825 Yeah. I mean, same. 1844 01:35:49,494 --> 01:35:51,162 And I don't really like dogs. 1845 01:35:51,246 --> 01:35:52,664 (CHUCKLES) 1846 01:35:54,332 --> 01:35:56,626 Okay. So, what do you want? 1847 01:36:02,674 --> 01:36:03,716 I want that. 1848 01:36:10,306 --> 01:36:12,934 All right. You asked me what I wanted. 1849 01:36:13,017 --> 01:36:15,061 - Dance with me. - What? 1850 01:36:15,144 --> 01:36:17,397 You've already run away from me once this week. 1851 01:36:17,480 --> 01:36:20,858 I don't know if my pride could handle it if it happened again. 1852 01:36:20,942 --> 01:36:22,026 - Will. - Noah. 1853 01:36:23,194 --> 01:36:25,780 Listen, I just, um... I really like my freedom. 1854 01:36:25,863 --> 01:36:27,490 That's like a big thing with me. 1855 01:36:27,573 --> 01:36:30,576 And I just, I'm doing really, really, really well on my own 1856 01:36:30,660 --> 01:36:32,912 and the whole falling-in-love-with-romance thing 1857 01:36:32,996 --> 01:36:35,581 is really stupid. And, of course, we'd have great sex. 1858 01:36:35,665 --> 01:36:38,167 I mean, look at us. But the... I'm not right for you. 1859 01:36:38,251 --> 01:36:41,087 And you're definitely not right for me and it... 1860 01:36:41,170 --> 01:36:42,380 Hey, it's just a dance. 1861 01:36:43,589 --> 01:36:44,674 Yeah, but then what? 1862 01:36:45,633 --> 01:36:46,801 Guess we'll find out. 1863 01:36:50,596 --> 01:36:51,597 Okay. 1864 01:36:54,892 --> 01:36:55,893 (BOTH CHUCKLE) 1865 01:36:55,977 --> 01:36:57,687 (SLOW DISCO MUSIC INTRO PLAYING) 1866 01:37:45,860 --> 01:37:52,825 'Cause when I'm bad, I'm so, so bad... 1867 01:37:52,992 --> 01:37:56,329 HOWIE: Excuse me. I need a moment with my sister. 1868 01:37:56,829 --> 01:37:58,247 - Of course. - (BOTH LAUGH) 1869 01:37:58,331 --> 01:38:00,124 (DISCO MUSIC TEMPO QUICKENS) 1870 01:38:00,208 --> 01:38:02,543 (ALL CHEERING AND WHOOPING) 1871 01:38:16,432 --> 01:38:18,059 ALL: Do it! 1872 01:38:18,184 --> 01:38:19,769 (ALL CHEER AND LAUGH) 1873 01:39:04,439 --> 01:39:09,235 (VOCALIZING) 1874 01:44:14,415 --> 01:44:16,584 - NOAH: Guys. Look alive. It's happening. - ERIN: Oh! 1875 01:44:16,751 --> 01:44:18,002 - LUKE: Okay. - NOAH: All right. 1876 01:44:18,085 --> 01:44:21,756 ALL: Ten! Nine! Eight! 1877 01:44:21,839 --> 01:44:25,593 Seven! Six! Five! 1878 01:44:25,676 --> 01:44:26,802 LUKE: Five! 1879 01:44:26,886 --> 01:44:29,138 ALL: Four! 1880 01:44:29,221 --> 01:44:31,932 Three! 1881 01:44:32,433 --> 01:44:35,728 Two! 1882 01:44:35,811 --> 01:44:37,605 One! 1883 01:44:37,688 --> 01:44:38,814 One-point-five. 1884 01:44:38,898 --> 01:44:41,859 - One-point-five. - One-point-five. 1885 01:44:41,942 --> 01:44:44,320 One. 1886 01:44:44,403 --> 01:44:48,449 Point nine, point eight, 1887 01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:52,161 point seven, point six, point five, point four, point three... 1888 01:44:52,244 --> 01:44:54,079 (ALL CHEERING) 1889 01:44:55,539 --> 01:44:58,959 NOAH: Oh, my God. Flawless countdown. 1890 01:44:59,043 --> 01:45:01,921 - KEEGAN: She does the job every day. - NOAH: You're welcome, everyone.