1 00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:06,132 Memphis Stormfront in the Channel 3 News copter 2 00:00:06,132 --> 00:00:10,511 {\an8}with something still exclusive to live TV. A police chase! 3 00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,180 {\an8}And if you're watching this on YouTube years later, 4 00:00:13,180 --> 00:00:15,516 {\an8}smash that like button, bruh! 5 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,309 Dad, that looks like your SUV! 6 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,145 It can't be. Mine's in the shop. 7 00:00:19,145 --> 00:00:22,189 It's making a weird sound, kind of like... 8 00:00:24,608 --> 00:00:27,445 {\an8}A lot of smoke, and that... can't be good. 9 00:00:27,445 --> 00:00:30,531 {\an8}- Oh, he's getting out. He's making a run for it! 10 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,616 That's Wendell! My mechanic! 11 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:34,493 {\an8}The police are closing in. 12 00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:36,912 {\an8}Wait, he's carjacking that Bugatti! 13 00:00:36,912 --> 00:00:40,541 {\an8}- He is gone, gone, gone. 14 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:43,252 Two things. We might need to look for a new mechanic, 15 00:00:43,252 --> 00:00:45,212 and I definitely need to get a Bugatti. 16 00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,673 But, honey, you love your SUV. 17 00:00:47,673 --> 00:00:49,341 Well, everyone's getting Bugattis. 18 00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:50,885 Even my friend Wendell has one! 19 00:00:50,885 --> 00:00:52,511 A sports car! 20 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:56,223 Wow, what would the kids at school say if we had a Bugatti? 21 00:01:01,353 --> 00:01:05,649 Hey, ladies. Need a ride? There's room on my mom's lap. 22 00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:11,530 Hell yeah. 23 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:19,580 Hey, boys. Need a ride? 24 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:23,876 Hell yeah. 25 00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:30,508 Hell yeah. 26 00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,555 That settles it. The Smiths are getting a Bugatti! 27 00:01:36,555 --> 00:01:39,350 Francine, Hayley, we're running behind, so hurry up and get your 28 00:01:39,350 --> 00:01:40,476 fantasies in before the-- 29 00:01:43,521 --> 00:01:46,190 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 30 00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:49,568 ♪ I got a feeling That it's gonna be A wonderful day ♪ 31 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:52,696 ♪ The sun in the sky Has a smile on his face ♪ 32 00:01:52,696 --> 00:01:56,492 ♪ And he's shining a salute To the American race ♪ 33 00:01:59,328 --> 00:02:02,414 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 34 00:02:02,414 --> 00:02:04,750 ♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 35 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:05,835 Ah! 36 00:02:07,253 --> 00:02:10,548 {\an8}♪ Good morning, USA ♪ 37 00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,344 {\an8}I've been kicked out of car dealerships before, 38 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:16,887 {\an8}but never for financial reasons. 39 00:02:16,887 --> 00:02:20,516 {\an8}Bugattis are like a million dollars. We're fine with the SUV. 40 00:02:20,516 --> 00:02:22,810 {\an8}We can barely even afford to fix that. 41 00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,812 {\an8}Where is all our money going these days? 42 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,690 {\an8}Okay, I was gonna be Baby Plumber Junior today, 43 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:31,360 {\an8}but after hearing your money woes, I think it's a day for... 44 00:02:32,695 --> 00:02:35,447 {\an8}Suzy Orwoman, financial advisoress! 45 00:02:35,447 --> 00:02:37,783 {\an8}Want to know why you can't afford that Bugatti? 46 00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:39,743 {\an8}You're not making your assets work for you! 47 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,787 {\an8}Intriguing. Go on, Mrs. Orwoman. 48 00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:44,623 {\an8}That's Miss Orwoman. Still haven't found the right lady 49 00:02:44,623 --> 00:02:46,125 {\an8}to make an honest woman out of me. 50 00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:48,711 {\an8}I'm a lesbian, so stop flirting with me. 51 00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,171 {\an8}Okay, let's take inventory of your assets. 52 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,716 {\an8}Well, I've got this fridge and the garage fridge. 53 00:02:53,716 --> 00:02:56,010 {\an8}No, no, no, not material stuff. 54 00:02:56,010 --> 00:02:58,012 {\an8}I'm talking these assets. 55 00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,973 {\an8}What are these little flesh and bone piggy banks doing for you? 56 00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:02,892 {\an8}Steve. Contributions. Go! 57 00:03:02,892 --> 00:03:06,520 {\an8}Easy! You know those couple hundred sketches of Toshi I did last summer? 58 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:07,688 {\an8}Yes! 59 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:10,524 {\an8}Well, they're on sale on my Etsee page, 60 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,028 {\an8}and let's just say there's a lot of buzz. 61 00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,529 {\an8}Speaking of buzzed... Hayley? 62 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,032 {\an8}I keep our food budget down with restaurant leftovers, 63 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:21,493 {\an8}like the Hub's all-you-can- eat-but-you-should-have- eaten-it-yesterday tuna salad. 64 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,288 {\an8}If we're talking budgets, that's my department. 65 00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:29,001 {\an8}I keep our books like I keep my man. Sexually satisfied. 66 00:03:29,001 --> 00:03:32,338 {\an8}Okay, okay, assets lookin' good so far. 67 00:03:32,338 --> 00:03:34,423 {\an8}But what about Fleshbeard? 68 00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:37,301 {\an8}- Me? - Mooch alert! 69 00:03:37,301 --> 00:03:38,886 {\an8}Jeff is not a mooch. 70 00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:42,348 {\an8}- Well, he doesn't bring anything in... - And he takes a lot out. 71 00:03:42,348 --> 00:03:43,599 {\an8}Hey, that's right. 72 00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:45,643 {\an8}He even mooched off my Bugatti fantasy. 73 00:03:45,643 --> 00:03:49,730 {\an8}Lay off! What Jeff lacks in income, he makes up for in heart. 74 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:54,610 Please. Financially, there's no monetary value to heart. Hit it, Klaus! 75 00:03:57,947 --> 00:04:02,201 ♪ Let me tell you 'bout Jeffrey the Moocher ♪ 76 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:05,079 ♪ He's a grabbin' and takin' and no money-makin'♪ 77 00:04:05,079 --> 00:04:07,915 ♪ Low-down coohie hoocher!♪ 78 00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:11,126 Ha, ha, ha! 79 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:18,425 ♪ He'll borrow your car, bro, and bring it back with a dent ♪ 80 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:23,263 ♪ He'll have a bunch of your Cap'n Crunch and never offer you a cent ♪ 81 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:26,141 ♪ Ho-de-ho-ho-de-ho!♪ 82 00:04:32,856 --> 00:04:35,567 This trombone tastes like shit. 83 00:04:35,567 --> 00:04:37,987 Ah, this is the heavily-used plunger 84 00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:39,655 from my plumber costume. 85 00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:43,575 Face it, Smiths. When it comes to your finances, Jeff's worthless. 86 00:04:43,575 --> 00:04:47,329 Jeff, why are you dancing around to a song about you being a mooch? 87 00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:49,123 That song was about me? 88 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:57,339 Babe? You ever get the feeling the family thinks I'm a mooch? 89 00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,341 Well, yeah. Klaus sang a whole song-- 90 00:04:59,341 --> 00:05:01,135 Never mind. Don't listen to them. 91 00:05:01,135 --> 00:05:02,469 Yoink! 92 00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,055 Your nightlight is costing us ten cents a month. 93 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:08,017 Ten cents I'll never see again. Thanks to you, Jeff. 94 00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:10,060 But I'm scared of the boogeyman! 95 00:05:10,060 --> 00:05:12,312 Here. There's one starter bullet in there. 96 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,065 You can earn the rest by really making that one count. 97 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,861 I think I need to get a job. 98 00:05:18,861 --> 00:05:22,364 Well, whatever it is, just don't go overboard with it. 99 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:23,657 Start with something simple. 100 00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:25,909 Okay. 101 00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:29,163 Big ball on a chain. 102 00:05:29,163 --> 00:05:30,789 Nothing simpler than that. 103 00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,796 Oh, shoot. I missed. 104 00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,882 Well, at least no one got hurt-- 105 00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,137 A construction accident? 106 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,889 He doesn't have health insurance yet. 107 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,975 Here, Doc. Take my wallet to the ER, it's hemorrhaging. 108 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:54,229 Thanks, but seriously, how much was his ambulance ride? 109 00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:56,523 You don't have to worry about that. 110 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:59,193 He came by wrecking ball. 111 00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,361 This isn't funny. He's my husband! 112 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:04,406 Sorry, I think that pipe is laughing gas. 113 00:06:04,406 --> 00:06:07,618 So that's going to make the bad news I have very awkward. 114 00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:10,621 Jeff's... brain dead! 115 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:11,747 Brain dead? 116 00:06:11,747 --> 00:06:14,625 And on... life support. 117 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,585 Life support? 118 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:21,006 I have to see him one last time! 119 00:06:31,016 --> 00:06:32,851 Look at that, the meter is already running. 120 00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:34,019 That's a heart monitor. 121 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:36,438 - Turn it off! - Almost no brain activity. 122 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:37,940 Yet he's still functional. 123 00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:40,692 - Oh, this is totally normal for him. 124 00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,861 Did someone say, 125 00:06:42,861 --> 00:06:44,738 -"I promise not to sue"? - Who are you? 126 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:47,741 I'm a settlement lawyer on behalf of Termite Demolitions. 127 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,285 - Are you the victim? - No, I'm the Jeff. 128 00:06:50,285 --> 00:06:51,411 Whoa! 129 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,914 Clearly, some major brain damage here. 130 00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,042 That's going to take some extra zeros. 131 00:06:57,042 --> 00:07:00,546 Let's call this a healthy shut-the-hell-up settlement. 132 00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:03,173 Keep Termite's name out of your mouth. 133 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:05,759 Holy... 134 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,511 Hey, you're rich! 135 00:07:07,511 --> 00:07:08,846 Nope, still Jeff! 136 00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,644 - Jeffy boy! - Boogeyman! 137 00:07:15,644 --> 00:07:17,396 Nope, just Boogeystan. 138 00:07:17,396 --> 00:07:19,857 And don't you worry about your nightlight. I'll get that for you. 139 00:07:19,857 --> 00:07:22,693 It just needs to be unsmashed with my unhammer. 140 00:07:22,693 --> 00:07:24,653 Anything else you need? More pillows? 141 00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:28,198 We want our El Jeff-ay nice and comfy. 142 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,867 We've been calling you El Jeff-ay. 143 00:07:29,867 --> 00:07:33,579 I picked you up a box of condoms, El Jeff-ay. Just in case. 144 00:07:33,579 --> 00:07:35,038 {\an8}I poked holes in all of them. 145 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,332 {\an8}The next step is to get him to impregnate one of us. 146 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,084 {\an8}Then we've got him locked down. 147 00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,711 {\an8}I'm not picky about who. 148 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,421 Let me rap at you, El Jeff-ay. 149 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:45,632 Now that you're a millionaire many, many, many times over, 150 00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:48,468 we thought you could help us get some important things we need. 151 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,803 Like a Bugatti. 152 00:07:49,803 --> 00:07:53,140 Yes, Jeff. Stan's car is still in the shop so... 153 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:54,433 I'm gonna need one too. 154 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,810 And as you know, Toshi and I have been working 155 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,354 on our Siegfried and Roy tribute show. 156 00:07:59,354 --> 00:08:01,899 I feel a white tiger is a necessary next step. 157 00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,525 Get outta here, you vultures! 158 00:08:03,525 --> 00:08:04,610 It's Hayley. Split! 159 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:09,364 Jeff, do not start buying them stuff. 160 00:08:21,960 --> 00:08:23,212 The boogeyman? 161 00:08:23,212 --> 00:08:26,215 Yes! You get it! And we'll get our own place. 162 00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:29,801 Wow. I never really thought about that before. 163 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,678 But actually, the boogeyman is an entity 164 00:08:31,678 --> 00:08:33,805 that transcends physical space, 165 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:35,599 so there's really no escaping him. 166 00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,856 Lobster, El Jeff-ay? 167 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,942 Francine's already cracked the claws on this one. 168 00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:47,319 And how soon are we getting all the stuff we asked for? 169 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,403 It's Hayley! Split! 170 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:50,822 Jeff, where were you? 171 00:08:50,822 --> 00:08:52,991 I was waiting at the open house for an hour. 172 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:56,536 I'm sorry, babe. But I wanna tell everyone our new plan 173 00:08:56,536 --> 00:08:59,790 and let them know why I won't be buying them Goobotties. 174 00:08:59,790 --> 00:09:00,916 Open house? 175 00:09:00,916 --> 00:09:02,334 - New plan? - Goobotties. 176 00:09:02,334 --> 00:09:03,794 Klaus! 177 00:09:03,794 --> 00:09:06,255 Babe, you're gonna be so proud of me. 178 00:09:06,255 --> 00:09:08,257 I ingested the money wisely! 179 00:09:08,257 --> 00:09:10,717 You know the movie We Bought a Zoo? 180 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,553 Please tell me you did not buy a zoo. 181 00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:15,097 I didn't! 182 00:09:15,097 --> 00:09:17,057 I got the exclusive Redbox 183 00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,768 streaming rights to the movie We Bought a Zoo. 184 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,852 Ah, [bleep]. 185 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,438 There's more! Check this out. 186 00:09:23,438 --> 00:09:26,441 It's new underwear that hides your fart sounds. 187 00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,526 Listen. 188 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,446 Ugh. What's that smell? 189 00:09:31,446 --> 00:09:34,992 Yeah, they smell way worse now. But we're working on it. 190 00:09:34,992 --> 00:09:37,577 I bought the company for a cool million. 191 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:38,662 - What! - What! 192 00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:39,913 Well, I've heard enough. 193 00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:41,498 And smelled enough. 194 00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,293 I think it's time to let you in on one of Suzy Orwoman's 195 00:09:44,293 --> 00:09:46,003 once-in-a-lifetime deals. 196 00:09:46,003 --> 00:09:48,255 These only come along every couple months. 197 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:52,301 Feast your eyes on Mount Suzymore! Our casino, Jeff! 198 00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,970 You see, it's been my dream to teach my methods 199 00:09:54,970 --> 00:09:57,055 through the responsible tradition of gambling. 200 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,766 With your money, we can make my dream come true. 201 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:00,892 No, no, no, no, no! 202 00:10:06,773 --> 00:10:09,192 That was me. I invested in a competing underwear. 203 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:14,698 It's not fair. All these years of Jeff taking from us, 204 00:10:14,698 --> 00:10:16,700 and now he can finally give back and he won't. 205 00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:19,453 Well, he did get us Shakira. 206 00:10:19,453 --> 00:10:22,039 She sucks! She has one paw in the grave. 207 00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:25,917 At this rate, Jeff's gonna lose all that money in days. 208 00:10:25,917 --> 00:10:27,127 Days. 209 00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,796 - Days... 210 00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:34,843 Oh, I forgot to mention, Jeff also got us this robot that looks just like me. 211 00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:37,012 I'll put her away, for now. 212 00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:42,809 Hi, Steve. Did a gross old biddy make her way over here? 213 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:45,145 If she does, that's my mother, so please send her home. 214 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,314 I didn't know your mother was living with you. 215 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:50,067 I just moved her in. The court named me as her conservator, 216 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:52,527 so I'm managing all her affairs and finances now. 217 00:10:52,527 --> 00:10:53,779 - Oh! 218 00:10:53,779 --> 00:10:56,448 Someone found her! I'm so "relieved." 219 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,285 Huh. A conservatorship. 220 00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:04,790 That's not... I mean, that's not something we could do with Jeff, is it? 221 00:11:04,790 --> 00:11:07,334 No, no, we can't do that. 222 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,169 But could we? 223 00:11:09,169 --> 00:11:12,339 Well, it's an interesting word, isn't it? 224 00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:15,300 "Conserve." Like saving. 225 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,220 Yeah, saving Jeff! 226 00:11:18,220 --> 00:11:21,556 - Saving Jeff from Jeff! - And who better to save him 227 00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,309 than the people who know him and how much money he has best! 228 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:26,019 I don't believe this! 229 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,064 You're actually talking about taking away Jeff's independence? 230 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,941 We can't leave Jeff in charge of the money. 231 00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,442 He's gonna piss it all away. 232 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,986 And let's face it, he's never had good bladder control. 233 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:37,114 I am not gonna let you do this. 234 00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:40,325 Well, I guess we'll have to settle this in court then. 235 00:11:41,326 --> 00:11:43,578 The basketball court? 236 00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,374 Dang. 237 00:11:47,374 --> 00:11:50,544 Listen, Jeff, I'll do all the talking. You just sit there. 238 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:51,962 Here, work on this. 239 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,422 Court is now in session. 240 00:11:53,422 --> 00:11:55,632 Honorable Judge Grenier presiding. 241 00:11:55,632 --> 00:12:00,303 Oh! Hopefully we have something sexy today, like a murder or a kidnapping. 242 00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:03,473 A conservatorship hearing? 243 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:07,561 Oh, man, I wish someone would murder or kidnap me right now. 244 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,397 To see if a person meets the legal standard for stupidity, 245 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:14,443 I mean mental incompetency, we use what we call the Gilligan Scale. 246 00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:18,238 {\an8}At first, I thought Jeff Fischer was more of a Rose from the Golden Girls. 247 00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,866 {\an8}But after further examination, I can confidently say 248 00:12:20,866 --> 00:12:23,160 {\an8}he and Gilligan are a perfect match. 249 00:12:24,744 --> 00:12:26,872 Objection! That scale is absurd! 250 00:12:26,872 --> 00:12:28,165 Knock knock! 251 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,332 Who's there? 252 00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:30,876 - O. -"O" who? 253 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:32,627 "O"-verruled! 254 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:39,342 I have here a sworn affidavit from a pillar of our community. 255 00:12:57,861 --> 00:12:59,738 This is getting good. 256 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:03,408 Your Honor, my family is not concerned with Jeff's wellbeing at all. 257 00:13:03,408 --> 00:13:04,868 They just want his money. 258 00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:07,412 They are the last people who should be caring for him. 259 00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:11,875 My dad once asked a homeless man to babysit me while he went go-kart riding. 260 00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:15,462 My mom was kicked out of Lollapalooza for being too naked. 261 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:19,466 And my brother Steve, well, his Etsee reviews speak for themselves. 262 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:20,884 One star. 263 00:13:20,884 --> 00:13:23,303 The buyers thought Toshi was Tilda Swinton. 264 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:27,224 And furthermore, they live with a fish who was at January 6th! 265 00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,978 I was just going to see the pandas at the zoo and got all turned around! 266 00:13:31,978 --> 00:13:34,105 - Order! I've heard enough! 267 00:13:34,105 --> 00:13:35,732 But I want to take the stand! 268 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:39,277 - Not a good idea, babe. - No, it's a great idea. 269 00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,405 - Whoa! - If he lands on his head, 270 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,741 - I grant conservatorship. 271 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:48,036 - Conservatorship granted! - No! 272 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:50,539 - But not to the greedy family. - Oh, thank God! 273 00:13:50,539 --> 00:13:53,833 And not to you either. You thought this was a basketball court! 274 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,753 There's only one person that's right for this job. 275 00:13:56,753 --> 00:14:00,632 And she happens to be my AA sponsor and my financial advisor. 276 00:14:00,632 --> 00:14:03,051 Hey! Damn it, the door's stuck! 277 00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,262 Open this door! I'm missing my big entrance moment-- 278 00:14:05,262 --> 00:14:06,721 - Aah! 279 00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:11,643 What's happening? 280 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:13,478 Don't worry. I'm going to take great care of you 281 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:17,023 and all your gorgeous gobs and gobs of money. Come on! 282 00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,900 No, I don't want to! 283 00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,695 - What about babe? - I'm your babe now. 284 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:23,154 Damn it, 285 00:14:23,154 --> 00:14:25,949 how is this thing stuck again? From the inside? 286 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,909 Where does it even lock from-- 287 00:14:27,909 --> 00:14:30,287 Oh, Jeff, you opened it. You're a genius. 288 00:14:36,251 --> 00:14:37,544 Hey, babe. 289 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,921 - Right on time, Hayley. - This has got to stop. 290 00:14:39,921 --> 00:14:41,923 You can't keep Jeff prisoner like this. 291 00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,467 Prisoner? Please. Look at his view! 292 00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:48,346 It's a casino prison penthouse, just like Britney Spears. 293 00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,932 - This is nothing like that! 294 00:14:50,932 --> 00:14:53,018 Although I do have him performing 295 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,520 in a song-and-dance revue in the casino theater. 296 00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,355 Look at him, he's miserable. 297 00:14:57,355 --> 00:14:58,857 It's just a tummy ache. 298 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,276 He won't stop eating the glitter bombs from the show. 299 00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:05,071 Plus, he's anxious to start this conjugal visit you demanded. Chop-chop! 300 00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:06,740 Can we please have a little privacy? 301 00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:08,116 Oh, of course. Sorry. Sorry. 302 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,367 Hey, goons! Get out! 303 00:15:13,538 --> 00:15:14,539 Whenever you're ready. 304 00:15:19,085 --> 00:15:22,297 Well, the SUV's back. Cost me our monthly nut to fix it. 305 00:15:22,297 --> 00:15:25,342 Looks like Shakira's funeral will have to wait until we can save up. 306 00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:27,469 Ugh, I feel awful. 307 00:15:27,469 --> 00:15:30,680 Of course you do. We were this close to the sweet life! 308 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:32,641 No, it's not that. 309 00:15:32,641 --> 00:15:35,894 Could it be that maybe we feel bad about what we did to Jeff? 310 00:15:35,894 --> 00:15:37,896 - Yeah. - No. I mean, maybe? 311 00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,065 It's Hayley, split! Uh, sorry, reflex. 312 00:15:40,065 --> 00:15:41,232 How's Jeff? 313 00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:43,068 Stop acting like you care. 314 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:45,904 It's your fault Jeff got taken away from me. 315 00:15:46,988 --> 00:15:49,449 Oh, Hayley, we're so sorry. 316 00:15:49,449 --> 00:15:50,825 We didn't want this. 317 00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,702 We just wanted lots of new stuff. 318 00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:55,705 We want to make this right and bring Jeff home. 319 00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,667 Well, there is something you can help with. 320 00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:03,963 ♪ You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain ♪ 321 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:05,674 ♪ Too much love drives a man...♪ 322 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:07,550 No, no. Stop! Stop the music, Jeff. 323 00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,885 It's all wrong. 324 00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,637 Whoa, those things are dangerous. 325 00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,348 Hold the balls, hold the flaming balls. 326 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:16,017 Jeff, opening night tickets are about to go on sale, 327 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,978 so I need passion in those eyes, and all I'm getting is fear. 328 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,647 {\an8}It's so off-putting. 329 00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,066 {\an8}- Hold on a second. Go for Suzy. 330 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,943 Can I go home today? 331 00:16:24,943 --> 00:16:27,445 Protesters chanting "Free Jeff"? 332 00:16:27,445 --> 00:16:29,114 That could be very misleading. 333 00:16:29,114 --> 00:16:31,991 Tickets to see Jeff start at $27. 334 00:16:31,991 --> 00:16:33,493 Goons, with me! 335 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,870 And don't let me catch you eating any more glitter bombs. 336 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:42,043 Even better on the way up. 337 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:45,922 Free Jeff! Free Jeff! Free Jeff! 338 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,591 You guys better get outta here, or at least buy tickets. 339 00:17:10,572 --> 00:17:12,115 Are you friggin' kidding me? 340 00:17:12,115 --> 00:17:13,825 Hold on, I'mma get it this time. 341 00:17:13,825 --> 00:17:16,286 Don't you try and help me, Frankie. Don't you dare! 342 00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:18,997 Jeff! Come with me, hurry! 343 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:21,416 There's a loophole to get you out of the conservatorship. 344 00:17:21,416 --> 00:17:23,710 But we've gotta get you across state lines to do it. 345 00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:24,794 Huh. 346 00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,797 A whole new life in West Vagina. 347 00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,549 Exactly. Let's go. 348 00:17:31,593 --> 00:17:32,635 Let's roll! 349 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:39,726 Jeff, this is all your fault! 350 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:41,978 If you'd only bought me that car I asked for-- 351 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:43,480 Dad! Are you serious? 352 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:45,607 - Look! 353 00:17:45,607 --> 00:17:46,941 It's a Goobotti! 354 00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,068 I've never seen one this close. 355 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,529 It's... it's gorgeous. 356 00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,789 Okay, I'm just gonna say what everyone's thinking. 357 00:18:00,789 --> 00:18:01,998 Jeff owes us. 358 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:03,249 - Yeah! - Yeah! 359 00:18:03,249 --> 00:18:05,418 ♪ Let me tell you 'bout...♪ 360 00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:06,795 No, Klaus! 361 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:08,129 We gotta get Jeff out of here. 362 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,923 I'm not so sure about that. 363 00:18:09,923 --> 00:18:12,675 I've got those conservator forms somewhere. 364 00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:14,010 This is extortion. 365 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:15,637 - This is-- Jeff? 366 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,517 Whoa! 367 00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:24,604 Oh, God! 368 00:18:24,604 --> 00:18:27,941 It was beautiful but it stings so bad! 369 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,820 Keep going, Jeff! I'll fight 'em off! 370 00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:41,663 Like my reviews on Etsee say, "Bad. Very bad!" 371 00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:54,008 Look! There's money... I mean Jeff! 372 00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,056 Jeff! Give me your hand! 373 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:06,187 Let's get all the boring paperwork out of the way first, huh? 374 00:19:08,231 --> 00:19:09,440 Everybody hold onto me! 375 00:19:13,319 --> 00:19:14,571 Steve, switch places with me. 376 00:19:20,952 --> 00:19:22,412 Stan, do something! 377 00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,455 {\an8}I'm comin', Shakira! 378 00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:27,041 Got you! 379 00:19:27,041 --> 00:19:28,167 Climb up! 380 00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,926 Okay, I can sign the form now. 381 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:40,054 Jeff, don't sign anything or they'll control you. 382 00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,180 I don't care. 383 00:19:41,180 --> 00:19:42,640 I just want to go home. 384 00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,809 You still wanna live with them? 385 00:19:44,809 --> 00:19:46,769 They're the only family I've ever had! 386 00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,313 I don't want to lose them! 387 00:19:48,313 --> 00:19:50,773 That's why I tried to get rid of the money. 388 00:19:50,773 --> 00:19:51,941 Get rid of the money? 389 00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,569 Yeah, I knew those investments were stupid. 390 00:19:54,569 --> 00:19:57,822 But I was afraid we'd use the money to buy a house! 391 00:19:57,822 --> 00:20:00,033 I don't want to move away from my family. 392 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:04,162 Oh, Jeff, we're so sorry. 393 00:20:04,162 --> 00:20:06,664 It doesn't matter that you don't contribute... 394 00:20:06,664 --> 00:20:08,958 He literally just saved your lives. 395 00:20:08,958 --> 00:20:10,585 Contribute money, Hayley. 396 00:20:10,585 --> 00:20:13,546 Jeff, what you contribute is you. 397 00:20:15,089 --> 00:20:17,884 You're free to spend your money however you want. 398 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,010 Yeah, about that. 399 00:20:19,010 --> 00:20:20,094 There's no money. 400 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,138 What! - Turns out I know nothing 401 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,681 about casino management. 402 00:20:23,681 --> 00:20:26,601 My blackjack tables were paying out a thousand to one! 403 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,979 I think I'm bad with money. But I guess we could sell the casino. 404 00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,282 {\an8}Or not. Most likely not. 405 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:45,161 {\an8}This one's on the house, Jeff. 406 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,462 It's back! 407 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:55,922 {\an8}Shit.