1
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,719
Excuse me. Sorry, have you got a moment?

2
00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,151
- Yeah. What do you want, love?
- Can I talk to you about melanoma?

3
00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:39,918
No. I don't know her, darling.

4
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,951
- I'm sorry?
- I don't know her.

5
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:43,354
Who?

6
00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:45,872
Melanie... What was her second name?

7
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,231
No. Melanoma.
It's a form of skin cancer.

8
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:51,749
Oh, I'm sorry, darling.

9
00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:57,031
Still, if she's on holiday,
it'll take her mind off it, won't it?

10
00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:01,119
- Take whose mind off what?
- Your friend who's got cancer.

11
00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:05,389
- No, my friend hasn't got cancer.
- Well. what's all the fuss about, then?

12
00:01:05,520 --> 00:01:09,753
- No, I'm sorry. Can we start again?
- Oh, I'd rather you didn't, love.

13
00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:14,158
I'm sorry you can't find your friend,
but there's not a lot I can do about it.

14
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:15,873
I'd give up if I were you, love.

15
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,469
This is the most sense she's made
since we got here.

16
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:21,353
Well, can I leave a leaflet with you?

17
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:23,312
- All right, love.
- Okay.

18
00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:27,354
- You all right, mam?
- Yeah. Young lass has lost her friend.

19
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,600
Mind you,
she isn't going to find her with this.

20
00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:35,031
The only picture they've got
is of her spotty back.

21
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:37,197
- Let's have a look.
- Ew!

22
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:54,153
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ON CD PLAYER)

23
00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,039
<i>The Quo.</i>

24
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:12,594
- Are you there, darling?
- Coming.

25
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,279
What, again?

26
00:02:14,400 --> 00:02:16,960
Right, well, we've missed breakfast
by a long chalk,

27
00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,674
but no matter,
snacks start in half an hour.

28
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:21,029
Oh, lovely.

29
00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:47,515
You wanna try taking a couple of gobfuls
of air between ciggies, you know.

30
00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:50,029
Nice bit of breakfast that,
this morning.

31
00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,549
I thought it'd be all frog's legs
and all that rubbish,

32
00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,320
but no, good English fry-up. Very nice.

33
00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,435
Mind you, I've got a bit of something
trapped in me teeth.

34
00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,278
(SUCKING NOISES)

35
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:07,270
I think it's a bit of bacon fat.

36
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,119
Yeah, well,
spare us the details, thanks.

37
00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:15,795
- Mam, give over!
- I'm not gonna leave it there, am I?

38
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:17,672
Why don't you just give your teeth
to our Michael?

39
00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,314
He'll give them a swill in the pool.

40
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:21,874
(LAUGHING)

41
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:27,552
Where is our Michael?

42
00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:34,151
Oh, look who it is!
It's the belle of Benidorm.

43
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,794
Hello!
It's Mr and Mrs Stewart, isn't it?

44
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,831
Donald and Jacqueline, please.

45
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,837
You remember Kelly from last year,
don't you?

46
00:03:40,960 --> 00:03:43,839
Course I do!
Oh, don't you look smashing?

47
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,759
- Oh, thank you.
- So you've decided to stay on?

48
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:50,236
Yeah. The money's still rubbish,
but it was worth it.

49
00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:55,759
- Oh, would you look at that!
- Lovely.

50
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,511
Mateo and I are getting married
next year.

51
00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:02,599
- Oh, him.
- Right, well, I'd better get on.

52
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:05,314
I've got to give these leaflets out
and then start the kid's club, so...

53
00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,238
All right, sweetheart. See you later.

54
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,680
- Bye.
- Bye.

55
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,956
Look at the state of that.
Like flies to shite.

56
00:04:17,400 --> 00:04:20,199
There must be a flight to London today.
Will you please check again?

57
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:23,870
The only flight you'll get today
will cost you 310 euros.

58
00:04:24,880 --> 00:04:27,713
- Each.
- You're joking.

59
00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:31,913
And that's if you can get to Alicante
in the next 14 minutes.

60
00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,515
Oh, this is ridiculous!

61
00:04:39,480 --> 00:04:41,232
Um, thank you.

62
00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:48,432
Can't shift that bit of bacon fat.
I think it's bacon fat.

63
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,076
Telle, go and have a look
for our Michael.

64
00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,158
- I'm doing summat.
- It weren't so bad when it were salty,

65
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,796
but it's lost all it's flavour now.
It just feels horrible.

66
00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,877
Do you mind?
I'm gonna have me dinner in a minute.

67
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:04,198
- He was here a minute ago.
- It's just stuck there, won't move.

68
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:09,510
It's at the front and the back.

69
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,991
It's definitely wedged in.

70
00:05:13,760 --> 00:05:16,479
Oh, do you know,
there's nowt more irritating.

71
00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,672
I can think of something
more bloody irritating!

72
00:05:19,840 --> 00:05:22,992
Why don't you just take your teeth out
and sort it? Give us all a bit of peace.

73
00:05:23,120 --> 00:05:24,838
I'm not taking me teeth out here.

74
00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:27,759
Well, then, can we not have
the running commentary?

75
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:31,510
- Well, how long is it gonna be there?
- How the bloody hell do I know!

76
00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,393
With your breath,
I'm surprised it's not disintegrated.

77
00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:38,070
You disgust me, do you know that?
You've got the manners of an animal.

78
00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:40,350
Ha! That's a bit rich
coming from someone

79
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,359
who's got half a pig wedged in her gob!

80
00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,232
(MICK SNORTING)

81
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,029
- Oh, that's enough.
- Hey, come on. You're on holiday.

82
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:54,030
<i>- Thanks.
- De nada. Hey, cariño.</i>

83
00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,950
<i>- Come on, get your kit off.
- I beg your pardon?</i>

84
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:01,193
- Coming in?
- I'd rather drink bleach.

85
00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:03,880
Get a gobful of this water,
you'll be drinking more than bleach.

86
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,195
Oh.

87
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:07,315
Oh!

88
00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:15,953
Ugh, I'm convinced that hideous-looking
woman only gets in to have a piss.

89
00:06:16,080 --> 00:06:17,639
That is a bloke.

90
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,510
Oh, my God!

91
00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:24,434
Excuse me.

92
00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:28,317
When you've got a minute.

93
00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,958
Is this your money on the bar?
Oh, no, my mistake.

94
00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:38,551
- Slow Comfortable Screw, please.
- Sorry, boss. No cocktails.

95
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,832
- What do you mean, no cocktails?
- You want beer?

96
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,397
Yes, I'll have a beer.
That'll be easier for you, won't it?

97
00:06:45,520 --> 00:06:48,672
And an orange juice,
if it's not too much trouble.

98
00:06:49,880 --> 00:06:52,633
I hear congratulations are in order.

99
00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,596
Sorry, my English very bad.

100
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,198
Yes, when it suits you.

101
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:03,634
We met Kelly last year, lovely girl.

102
00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:08,877
Oh, Kelly, yeah. She is very beautiful.

103
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,994
Yes, she is. A beautiful girl
and a beautiful person.

104
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,233
We'd hate to see her get hurt.

105
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:18,950
Nuts?

106
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:23,389
You keep your nuts to yourself.

107
00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:33,480
Here we are, ladies.
Large vodka and orange.

108
00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,079
Hey, good job no one's counting, Madge,

109
00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,759
otherwise they'd know
it was your fourth!

110
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,791
Shut up. I'm on holiday.

111
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,989
- Did you see our Michael?
- No, I didn't see him.

112
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,270
- What, and that's it?
- What do you mean?

113
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,835
Our son is missing and
all you can say is I didn't see him?

114
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,793
He's not missing, is he?
He's just not here.

115
00:07:51,520 --> 00:07:53,909
Why don't you go and look for him?

116
00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:58,115
No, you're right. He can't be far.
He'll be back when he's hungry.

117
00:07:58,240 --> 00:08:01,756
Well, I'm off for a wander.
I'll keep an eye out for him.

118
00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,234
Where are you going?

119
00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,512
I'll thank you to keep that
out of my business, young lady.

120
00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:11,032
Don't you worry. I try and keep that
as far away from you as possible.

121
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,359
(SCREAMING)

122
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,198
Sorry! Sorry!

123
00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:22,311
What about tomorrow!

124
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,798
Well, I don't care.
Gatwick, Stansted, Luton. Anywhere.

125
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,591
Not one seat? No, don't bother.

126
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,150
- Any luck?
- What do you think?

127
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,310
- Another five days in this squalor.
- It's hardly squalor.

128
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:44,073
Okay, so the room's not up to much,
the food could be a bit better.

129
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,840
And some of the people
are a bit rough around the edges,

130
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,190
but at least the sun's shining.

131
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:52,597
The room is disgusting,
the food is atrocious,

132
00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:57,476
the people are revolting
and that sun is too hot.

133
00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:02,872
The room is adequate,
the food is basic and the people...

134
00:09:03,920 --> 00:09:06,514
Well, at least
the people are enjoying themselves!

135
00:09:06,640 --> 00:09:10,759
The problem with you is you're
never satisfied with what you've got!

136
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:28,029
"Alternative to the front entrance,"
four letters.

137
00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,230
Anal.

138
00:09:31,360 --> 00:09:32,589
Bastard!

139
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,395
- Are you okay, pal?
- Me batteries have died.

140
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:40,800
Oh, I see. What size are they?
We've got a few batteries in our room.

141
00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:42,155
Double A?

142
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:43,918
Oh, no, they're the wee ones,
aren't they?

143
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:45,758
No, they're quite big, the ones we have.

144
00:09:45,880 --> 00:09:50,238
Mind you, there won't be much juice
left in them after last night.

145
00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,397
It's The Barnacle, isn't it?

146
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,636
- The Oracle.
- Oh, yes.

147
00:09:54,760 --> 00:09:58,151
Reigning Lancashire Pub Quiz Champion.
Unbeaten since...

148
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:04,231
- That's right, great name. The Oracle.
- Or Geoff. I don't mind either.

149
00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:07,990
Good to know you, Geoff.
I'm Donald, this is Jacqueline.

150
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,396
- Hello.
- Yeah, I know. I remember.

151
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:13,797
Oh, that's right, we spoke before.
You're here with your mum.

152
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,991
Will you and your mum
be going to Neptune's

153
00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,873
-for the karaoke tonight, Geoff?
- Oh, aye.

154
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:21,351
It'll be a good night
tomorrow night as well.

155
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:24,711
It's Terry Burke, hypnotist,
a personal friend of ours.

156
00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:27,434
Nothing offensive, all good family fun.

157
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,349
Oh, right. Might go to that.
Me mum's seen a hypnotist before.

158
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,794
Yes. I can well believe that.

159
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:37,313
(SNORING)

160
00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,954
- How's your burger?
- Nice.

161
00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,678
Enjoying yourself?

162
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,599
- It's only a burger.
- I mean, this holiday.

163
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,792
Yeah, it's good.
Better than being at home, innit?

164
00:10:57,080 --> 00:10:59,913
- I do worry about you, darling.
- What for?

165
00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,758
What do you mean, what for?

166
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,918
You're 16 and you're pregnant.
I'm worried about a lot of things.

167
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:08,590
- How you're gonna cope...
- I'm not getting rid of it!

168
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:11,439
I'm not saying you should get rid of it.

169
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:20,156
Me nana said
that if I don't get rid of it,

170
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:24,069
then Social Services will take it off me
because of me age.

171
00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:28,239
When did you start taking
any notice of the things your nana says?

172
00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,158
- Why is me nana so horrible?
- Your nana...

173
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,470
<i>Your nana's had a hard life.</i>

174
00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:47,797
What was me grandad like?

175
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,589
He was a funny bugger. Most men are.

176
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,151
Wasn't he a fisherman or something?

177
00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,750
He was a skipper on a boat.
He was at sea most of the time.

178
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:00,598
Didn't he once bring home a monkey?

179
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,233
- He did, yeah.
- A real monkey?

180
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:05,079
Yeah. Only a little thing it was.

181
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:08,598
It ran up the curtains
and peed on your nana's head.

182
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,313
- Seriously?
- Yeah.

183
00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:13,917
Is that why me nana smells?

184
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:18,357
<i>
You're a blue toothbrush</i>

185
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,114
<i>

186
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:24,278
<i>
Just to you, toothbrush</i>

187
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:29,395
<i>

188
00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:31,033
(FEEDBACK ON SPEAKERS)

189
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:33,436
<i>Thank you very much. Thank you!</i>

190
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,555
<i>- Hello.
- Oh, you surprised me.</i>

191
00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,878
Excuse me.
You look very hot and thirsty.

192
00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:58,752
- I offer you Sex on the Beach.
- I beg your pardon?

193
00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:02,919
Vodka, peach schnapps, creme de cassis,
orange and cranberry.

194
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,031
A beautiful long cocktail.

195
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:10,114
It's a bit early for me.
To drink, I mean. Alcohol.

196
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,917
Okay. I leave this for you.

197
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,679
I go now. I have my break.

198
00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:22,753
Twenty minutes.

199
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:27,393
Like you, I am very hot today also.

200
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:30,754
I go lie down on my bed in my room.

201
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,998
I leave the door open because I am hot.

202
00:13:35,560 --> 00:13:36,834
Number 18.

203
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,556
Yes, well, it is very hot today.

204
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,318
I never see you smile.

205
00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:45,999
You are

206
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:52,157
beautiful lady
and deserve a beautiful holiday.

207
00:13:53,320 --> 00:13:57,154
It is my job to give you one.

208
00:13:59,920 --> 00:14:03,834
I go now for my break in room 18.

209
00:14:16,520 --> 00:14:21,390
LOOK:

210
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,477
<i>

211
00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:24,954
(COUGHING)

212
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:31,349
<i>

213
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:32,914
<i>

214
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,917
Now that is what
I call a woman in her prime.

215
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,838
Which is more than can be said

216
00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,951
for the lounge lizard
that's flirting with her.

217
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:14,673
Ooh, it's lovely in there.

218
00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:16,359
Aye, I noticed
you were enjoying yourself.

219
00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,551
Oh, yeah, sorry. I'll have to keep
an eye on that, won't I?

220
00:15:18,680 --> 00:15:21,115
It's not the only thing
you were keeping an eye on, is it?

221
00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:25,120
Here she is, the only one I've got
eyes for, my beautiful daughter.

222
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,550
- Shut up!
- What have you got all these for?

223
00:15:27,680 --> 00:15:29,353
Me mam said to get a few.

224
00:15:29,480 --> 00:15:31,232
She can't keep going
up and down for drinks.

225
00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:32,794
She is pregnant, you know.

226
00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:36,709
Hey, how about that for timing?
Pass one over.

227
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:39,477
Where have you been?
We've been worried about you.

228
00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:42,752
- Speak for yourself.
- He found himself a little kiddies club.

229
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,598
Got some little friends now,
haven't you?

230
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,074
Oh, was it good?

231
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,716
Yeah, but then she came in
and started singing and made Jamie cry.

232
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:53,595
Aw, there's always one
to spoil it for the rest, isn't there?

233
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,871
- There you are.
- Where did you go?

234
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,071
I just went to get a newspaper

235
00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:09,679
and I came back
more or less straightaway.

236
00:16:09,800 --> 00:16:12,314
- Where have you been?
- I went upstairs for a lie down.

237
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:15,512
I just went upstairs to look for you.
You weren't in the room.

238
00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:19,110
No. I went for a walk first,
then I went for a lie down.

239
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,915
You look hot. Are you feeling okay?

240
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:26,792
I'm fine. We're in Spain,
it's supposed to be hot.

241
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:28,395
Yes.

242
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,633
Look, I'm really sorry I shouted at you.

243
00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:39,151
What? Oh, don't be silly.

244
00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,396
Let's go upstairs
and get showered and changed.

245
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,353
- We can go for an early dinner.
- What, here?

246
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,317
Well, it's all-inclusive.

247
00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:51,398
We may as well make use
of all the facilities.

248
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:54,315
Come on.

249
00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:10,473
<i>All together now, ladies and gentlemen.
Just imagine you're on your holidays.</i>

250
00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,911
<i>Are you happy, love? Let your face know.</i>

251
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,675
Oh, thank you, darling.

252
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:21,714
Well, will you look at that?
Just what the doctor ordered.

253
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,593
Jesus, who's your doctor?
Bernard Manning?

254
00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:30,315
- How's your steak?
- Mmm, surprisingly good.

255
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,869
I thought this soup would be tinned,
but it tastes homemade.

256
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:38,518
- is that good or bad?
- Good.

257
00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:43,359
Jacqueline loves the gays,
don't you, darling?

258
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,154
- Oh, yes.
- What were the names of your friends

259
00:17:46,280 --> 00:17:48,635
who used to buy
the rubber gloves from you?

260
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:51,434
Jacqueline used to work
in pharmaceutical sales.

261
00:17:51,560 --> 00:17:53,233
Terry and Bernie.

262
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:57,433
Terry and Bernie,
big strapping lads, weren't they?

263
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,517
Muscles in their spit.

264
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:03,599
Dead now, but my God,
what a smashing couple.

265
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,040
They were.

266
00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:09,074
Big burly guys, army crew cuts,
big moustaches,

267
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,350
looked like lumberjacks, didn't they?

268
00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,314
- Nothing poofy about them. No offence.
- None taken.

269
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:20,116
You know, I reckon you gays
can teach the straights a thing or two.

270
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,880
- Do you know what I mean?
- What? Fashion sense?

271
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:27,233
<i>No, no, no, no.
I mean, I don't mean to he graphic,</i>

272
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:33,434
but there's nothing more a wife can do
to show her husband that she loves him

273
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:39,317
than by letting him, you know,
park his car round the back.

274
00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:41,555
Yes.

275
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,873
Flowers are nice.

276
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:48,274
Oh.

277
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:53,713
<i>Okay, let's get this party started.
And a very, very warm Benidorm welcome</i>

278
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:57,310
<i>to our first karaoke cab
off the rank tonight,</i>

279
00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,750
<i>singing You're the One that I want,</i>

280
00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:03,589
<i>it's Geoff Maltby,
also known as The Oracle,</i>

281
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,314
<i>ah, and his mother!</i>

282
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,194
She's me PA.

283
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,430
<i>Whoo!</i>

284
00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,391
<i>

285
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,830
<i>

286
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:23,351
<i>

287
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:27,756
<i>

288
00:19:27,880 --> 00:19:29,200
<i>

289
00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:31,391
I know we've not been getting on lately,

290
00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:35,559
and maybe this holiday
was a bit of a mistake.

291
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:41,399
Maybe... Maybe we won't be able
to work things out.

292
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:46,071
Maybe we'll decide to call it a day,
but at least for the rest of this week,

293
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:49,918
nobody’s going to be able to say
I didn't try.

294
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,920
<i>
You are the one I want</i>

295
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,917
<i>GEOFF'S MUM:

296
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:58,394
<i>

297
00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,875
I was going to give you this
on the last day,

298
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:03,196
but I want you to have it now.

299
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,191
I love you even more
than the day I married you, Kate.

300
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,356
<i>
You are the one I want</i>

301
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:18,073
<i>

302
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,635
<i>
You are one I want</i>

303
00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:23,593
I know we can make this work
if we both try.

304
00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,520
<i>

305
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,154
<i>
You are the one I want</i>

306
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,078
It's up to you.

307
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,759
<i>

308
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:34,795
<i>

309
00:20:34,920 --> 00:20:38,754
Kate? What is it? What have I done now!

310
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,038
<i>


311
00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:43,276
<i>


312
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,157
Walt, wait. You are okay?

313
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,396
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Please just let me go.

314
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:52,558
I cannot let you go like this.
You are a beautiful lady.

315
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,273
Please do not cry.

316
00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,073
- Get off me!
- Wait.

317
00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:59,272
Look, what happened
this afternoon between us was a mistake.

318
00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,119
You understand? A big mistake.

319
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:06,757
But your eyes, I look into your eyes,
they tell me you want Mateo.

320
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,350
It was just sex. You don't know me.

321
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,320
Kelly! This is not what it seems.

322
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,155
You said you wouldn't do it again.
You promised.

323
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,396
Kelly, please, you don't understand.

324
00:21:22,520 --> 00:21:25,638
This woman is mad.
I've never seen her before.

325
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,034
Excuse me!

326
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,312
<i>What I have done may be stupid,
but I am not mad!</i>

327
00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:39,676
<i>Did you see where the ring went?</i>

328
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:46,078
<i>


329
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,874
<i>
You are the one I want