1 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,538 J when she sighs j 2 00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:49,542 j and her baby-blue eyes embrace your face j 3 00:00:50,759 --> 00:00:52,465 j lies all lies j 4 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:56,671 j what the lady wants is your closet space j 5 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,428 j bachelor j 6 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:04,057 j in paradise j 7 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:08,390 be careful j 8 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:11,192 j bachelor j 9 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,522 j in paradise j 10 00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:18,700 j beware j 11 00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,527 j lights down low j 12 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:25,867 j Frankie's records and cocktails on the floor j 13 00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:27,576 j you should know j 14 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,128 j it's the garden of Eden j 15 00:01:30,215 --> 00:01:32,797 j scene once more j 16 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,466 j Adam j 17 00:01:35,554 --> 00:01:39,297 j come on be smart j 18 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:43,350 j just take your fig leaf j 19 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:46,270 j and depart j» 20 00:01:46,356 --> 00:01:51,692 j and leave one bachelor less j 21 00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:57,193 j in paradise jj 22 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,609 Male narrator: These days, as you may have noticed 23 00:02:41,703 --> 00:02:43,068 many a motion picture opens 24 00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,744 with a scene which rightly belongs 25 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,947 somewhere in the middle of the story, 26 00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,328 but this time we have a novelty. 27 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:52,252 This picture opens where the story begins, 28 00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,250 somewhere in the south of France. 29 00:02:57,427 --> 00:02:59,634 Pardonnez-moi, madame. 30 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,801 Chapter seven... 31 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,254 "The French widow." 32 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,135 The mature French woman 33 00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,808 has elevated the physical act of kissing 34 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,979 to an artistic level unattained by any other society. 35 00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,853 Kissing an experienced French woman 36 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:16,526 provides the average male with a sensation 37 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:19,480 that compares favorably with, uh... 38 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,986 With, uh... 39 00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,538 Pardon. 40 00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:36,500 Pardonnez-moi, monsieur niles. 41 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:41,259 A transatlantic call for you from your publisher. 42 00:03:41,346 --> 00:03:42,346 Oh. 43 00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:43,720 Pick it up right there. 44 00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,507 Hello? Hello, Austin? 45 00:03:47,602 --> 00:03:49,497 Austin: I thought I'd never get you on the phone. 46 00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:51,807 I've had you paged all over France. 47 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,127 Do you realize, I've been up all night trying to get you, 48 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:55,937 and all I can get from the operator 49 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:59,190 is that you're out or that your... your line's engaged, 50 00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:00,691 whatever that is. 51 00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:02,302 It's noon over here, and I haven't even 52 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,483 had any breakfast yet. 53 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,909 Dear lad, how are you? 54 00:04:05,996 --> 00:04:08,328 Oh, hard at work. 55 00:04:08,415 --> 00:04:11,327 I'm up to chapter seven on how the French live. 56 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,534 - How's it coming? - Oh, fine. 57 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:14,913 I'm two weeks ahead in research, 58 00:04:15,005 --> 00:04:16,961 and four months behind in the writing. 59 00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:18,808 I'm afraid you'll have to interrupt it, Adam. 60 00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,840 And fly back here on the next jet, 61 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,633 what? Why? 62 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,463 Because of the demands of the United States government. 63 00:04:25,557 --> 00:04:27,889 A very large domestic organization. 64 00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,092 Oh, yes. I used to get my mail from them. 65 00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:32,803 - Is anything wrong? - Wrong? 66 00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,435 You're in deep and serious difficulties, Adam, 67 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,311 to be euphemistic about it. 68 00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:39,688 I'll see you in Washington tomorrow afternoon. 69 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,271 Tomorrow? But I'm in the middle of a book? I just can't... 70 00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,026 You're in the middle of a tornado, Adam. 71 00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:46,324 And it's liable to destroy you completely. 72 00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,618 Now, climb on that next jet out of Paris, 73 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,411 and don't speak to a soul. 74 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,160 Mind you, no publicity. 75 00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,831 Yes, but, Austin, it's not that... 76 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:56,126 In fact, if anybody asks you, 77 00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:58,670 deny that you're a.J. Niles. 78 00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,122 Use an alias... 79 00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,333 Your mother's maiden name. 80 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,884 Or was niles your mother's maiden name? 81 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:08,008 Your innuendo is offensive. = what innuendo? 82 00:05:08,099 --> 00:05:11,011 Uncle Sam has been calling you one for days. 83 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,730 $628,470? 84 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:00,978 That's according to our present calculations. 85 00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,775 It may be more. 86 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,899 But it can't be more. I didn't earn that much. 87 00:06:04,990 --> 00:06:07,447 Even the government can't take over 100 percent. 88 00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:08,678 Dear, lad, they subpoenaed me. 89 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:10,363 I had to give them the figures. 90 00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,536 Mr. niles, you've been out of the country for 14 years. 91 00:06:13,623 --> 00:06:16,035 You wrote a dozen books which grossed 92 00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:22,213 a total of $1,214,704.63. 93 00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:23,568 Yeah, but what about my expenses? 94 00:06:23,592 --> 00:06:25,298 We have no record of any expenses. 95 00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,922 I sent them all to my business manager every month. 96 00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:29,969 I explained all that to these gentlemen, Adam. 97 00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,868 That doesn't alter the fact that you're responsible 98 00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,599 for the actions of your business manager, Mr. niles. 99 00:06:34,686 --> 00:06:37,473 Well, doesn't anyone have any idea where he ran off to? 100 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:40,431 Vanished like a puff of smoke. 101 00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:43,938 I just can't believe that Herman wappinger is dishonest. 102 00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:46,111 That man wears piping on his vest. 103 00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:48,779 In all the years, Mr. niles, that Mr. wappinger's 104 00:06:48,867 --> 00:06:50,823 been handling your affairs, 105 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:54,153 he never once has filed an income tax return for you. 106 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,329 Now, we're most sympathetic, Mr. niles, 107 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:59,783 but this is a clear case of fraud. 108 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,709 All my life's earnings down the drain, 109 00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:03,206 just because I was stupid enough 110 00:07:03,298 --> 00:07:07,041 to give Herman wappinger my power of attorney. 111 00:07:07,135 --> 00:07:09,467 I'm not only a criminal, I'm also a pauper. 112 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:11,090 You haven't a dime, Adam. 113 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,796 The department has attached everything, 114 00:07:12,891 --> 00:07:15,132 all your royalties as they come in. 115 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:18,434 We had to, Mr. niles. That's the law. 116 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,978 Yeah, I know that law. It's called "instant poverty." 117 00:07:21,066 --> 00:07:22,681 Well, you might as well put me in jail. 118 00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,186 At least I'll be able to eat. 119 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,157 That won't be necessary under the circumstances. 120 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:29,654 Mr. palfrey has offered to put up a surety bond. 121 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,857 Oh, thanks, Austin. Then I'm free to leave? 122 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:36,036 You're free to leave this office, but not this country. 123 00:07:36,122 --> 00:07:37,157 Thanks a million. 124 00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:39,852 Two hundred and fourteen thousand 125 00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,020 seven hundred and four dollars... 126 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,207 And sixty three cents. 127 00:07:51,179 --> 00:07:53,044 I'm an American citizen, they can't force me 128 00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,345 to stay in this country. 129 00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:55,968 Oh, yes, they can, dear boy. 130 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,472 Until you pay back those $624,000, 131 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,052 or until Herman wappinger's conscience 132 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,728 forces him to materialize. 133 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:04,898 Yeah, and right now Herman's probably on a yacht 134 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,818 with four beautiful gals, living it up. 135 00:08:07,904 --> 00:08:09,565 I hope he's taking notes. 136 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,021 In the meantime, what do I do? 137 00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,481 You could go to work. 138 00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:13,844 Yeah, I could go back to Cleveland, 139 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,529 get my old job in the sports desk. 140 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:18,578 Sixty-two-fifty a week and free passes for the dog show. 141 00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,997 No. I have an idea for you. 142 00:08:21,084 --> 00:08:23,746 - Your next book. - What "next" book? 143 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,577 I haven't finished researching my last one. 144 00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:28,379 Then you can start researching your next one immediately. 145 00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,923 - How the Americans live. - You're joking. 146 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,751 I'm not joking at all, dear boy. 147 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:36,430 A niles'-eye view of America might be absolutely sensational. 148 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,472 It could be the biggest seller you've had yet. 149 00:08:38,560 --> 00:08:40,596 And if it's anything like your others, 150 00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,019 half of the people of America will buy it 151 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,097 just to see what they've missed. 152 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,460 Of course, the other half will buy it 153 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:47,724 to see what you've missed. 154 00:08:47,819 --> 00:08:49,605 You've got to do it, Adam! 155 00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:51,357 But how? How am I going to live? 156 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:52,608 I'll subsidize you. 157 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:57,159 Your rent and $75 a week. 158 00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,031 Seventy-five dollars? 159 00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:01,909 Look, don't go over budget just to save a human life. 160 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,331 Eighty-five and not a penny more. 161 00:09:03,418 --> 00:09:05,283 You can eat oatmeal instead of caviar. 162 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,243 Yeah, but it tastes terrible with champagne. 163 00:09:07,338 --> 00:09:10,125 - I'll need a secretary. - One ugly secretary. 164 00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,081 One that can type, huh? 165 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,213 And one more thing... 166 00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:16,465 This is America, not Europe. 167 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,263 Our attitude towards our women is different. 168 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:21,841 - Sex hasn't gone out, has it? - No, of course not. 169 00:09:21,936 --> 00:09:23,722 I'd heard it'd been replaced by television. 170 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:28,022 As long as you're here, no experiments with women. 171 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,940 How am I gonna research without experiments? 172 00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,144 Strictly by observation, dear boy. 173 00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:34,854 If you get involved, no more allowance. 174 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:36,749 I'm in trouble enough, I guess I could hideout 175 00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:38,032 in a place like bucks county. 176 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,984 No good. Not typical. 177 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,913 Nowadays, the average American lives in a planned community. 178 00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,364 A housing development. 179 00:09:44,459 --> 00:09:46,020 You mean one of those tract things where they 180 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:48,285 tear down the old slums and put up new slums? 181 00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:50,290 Oh, they're more appealing than that. 182 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:53,293 Take, for example, paradise village. 183 00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:54,874 Paradise village? 184 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,506 Yak! Sounds revolting. 185 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,838 It's a modern community in the San Fernando valley. 186 00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,298 Who lives there, horses? 187 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:03,053 Now don't sneer, dear boy. 188 00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:04,930 Fortunes have been made in such communities 189 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,511 as paradise village. 190 00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,562 I've even invested a little myself. 191 00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:11,016 And with the population growth in California, 192 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:14,194 it forms a cross-section of the entire country. 193 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,316 I've arranged for a house for you there. 194 00:10:16,407 --> 00:10:18,739 Under an alias of course. 195 00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:20,442 And you expect me to live there? 196 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,902 Mm-hmm. 197 00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:24,362 Well, I better get my distemper shots. 198 00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,950 You better wait for me. 199 00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,018 My name is Adams. Jack Adams. 200 00:11:29,105 --> 00:11:31,391 Oh, yes, Mr. Adams. We've been expecting you. 201 00:11:31,482 --> 00:11:33,836 Yeah, well, my cab driver didn't know how to get to paradise. 202 00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:35,020 He's an atheist. 203 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,770 Come right this way. 204 00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:41,739 Uh, Mr. Adams is here. 205 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,569 How do you do, Mr. Adams? 206 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,660 I'm Rosemary Howard. = you are? 207 00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:50,991 Well, what a pleasant surprise. 208 00:11:51,085 --> 00:11:53,201 Oh? What were you expecting? 209 00:11:53,296 --> 00:11:55,708 Well, frankly, nothing. 210 00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,151 Well, your house is all ready for you. 211 00:11:57,175 --> 00:11:58,665 Won't you sit down? 212 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,782 Mr. palfrey said that you weren't sure 213 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:05,171 how long you'd be here, 214 00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:07,723 so I drew up a simple lease, month-to-month. 215 00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,926 If that's alright? = that'll be fine. 216 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:12,728 It's a standard form. Oh, well... 217 00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:14,976 Don't you want to wait until you see the house first? 218 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:17,980 It'll be adequate. = you're sure? 219 00:12:18,071 --> 00:12:19,902 Well, it's the only one, isn't it? 220 00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:22,901 Well, yes. We don't rent in paradise as a rule. 221 00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:24,261 But we hope you'll love it so much 222 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,822 that you'll want to buy here. 223 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,450 If you're selling, I'll buy. 224 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:30,871 We've arranged for a rental car. 225 00:12:30,959 --> 00:12:33,245 It'll be delivered to the house tomorrow. 226 00:12:33,336 --> 00:12:35,136 But I can take you over there now if you like. 227 00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:38,083 I'd love. Let me pay off the cab and get my bags. 228 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,338 Ahh! Our Mr. Adams has arrived! 229 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:46,045 Welcome to paradise, Adams! 230 00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:48,381 Rosemary: Mr. Adams, this is Mr. jynson. 231 00:12:48,476 --> 00:12:51,593 Developer and president of the tract. 232 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:54,600 Well, you're a friend of Austin palfrey's, huh? 233 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,807 It's a pleasure to have you aboard. 234 00:12:56,901 --> 00:13:00,109 You will find this truly is paradise. 235 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,653 Schools, churches, country club, 236 00:13:02,740 --> 00:13:05,573 playground, pool, shopping center. 237 00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:09,573 As we say, a family can live a full and happy life 238 00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:12,747 in paradise and never leave the village. 239 00:13:12,834 --> 00:13:14,665 But they're allowed to, aren't they? 240 00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,938 Oh, of course, they're allowed to. 241 00:13:15,962 --> 00:13:17,452 You and your family... 242 00:13:17,547 --> 00:13:19,378 Adam: No, I don't have a family. 243 00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:20,796 No family? = no. 244 00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,374 Mr. Adams is a bachelor? 245 00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,630 Well, don't worry. It's not catching. 246 00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:27,838 I know, but a bachelor in paradise... 247 00:13:27,932 --> 00:13:29,638 You'll be the only one. 248 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,842 Well, that sounds like fun. 249 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,804 I better pay my cab driver. 250 00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:37,980 I'd hate to put him in a higher bracket. 251 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,606 Thomas: Rosemary. 252 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,403 Ginnie... 253 00:13:44,490 --> 00:13:46,401 Does your mother know you're reading this trash? 254 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,948 Ginnie: I'm 18. 255 00:13:48,036 --> 00:13:49,888 Thomas: Rosemary, may I see you a minute, please? 256 00:13:49,912 --> 00:13:51,743 Would you show Mr. Adams to my car, please? 257 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:52,831 Yeah. 258 00:13:57,503 --> 00:13:59,619 Crazy. 259 00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,329 A Latin student, huh? 260 00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:07,468 I'm not sure this is a good thing, not sure at all. 261 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:10,592 He is a bachelor, and this is a family community. 262 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,923 Well, I'm a bachelor, too. 263 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,428 I've lived here for quite some time. 264 00:14:13,519 --> 00:14:14,788 Well, you're a woman. That's different. 265 00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:16,177 Why? 266 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,388 As I understand it takes a member of each sex. 267 00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:21,896 But you're a special case. You're steering away from men. 268 00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,352 And I do wish you'd get over that, Rosemary. 269 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,938 We were discussing Mr. Adams. 270 00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:29,365 Now when it comes to personal matters, 271 00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,033 I suggest you concern yourself more 272 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,031 with your own domestic problems. 273 00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:37,407 I did not appreciate that remark. 274 00:14:37,502 --> 00:14:40,289 Well, I'm sorry, but if you weren't so suspicious 275 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,541 of every Tom, dick, and Harry, you and Dolores... 276 00:14:42,632 --> 00:14:44,748 Never mind Dolores. 277 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,958 Whose house did you get for Adams, huh? 278 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:48,418 Mine. 279 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:50,595 You rented him your house? = mm-hmm. 280 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,342 I moved in with old Mrs. Curtis. 281 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,515 She needed someone to take care of her, anyway. 282 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:59,854 Why don't you think of yourself for a change? 283 00:14:59,941 --> 00:15:03,809 A girl like you could have anything she wanted if she... 284 00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:06,690 If she'd be sweet and charming... 285 00:15:06,781 --> 00:15:08,317 Or just obliging to a man? 286 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,865 Just because you had one unhappy experience... 287 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,943 Listen, one is all I needed. 288 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:16,700 I'm strictly on my own, Tom, and I intend to stay that way. 289 00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:19,498 Now if you'll excuse me. Mr. Adams is waiting. 290 00:15:33,474 --> 00:15:36,591 You're much more attractive than my last cab driver, Mrs. Howard. 291 00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:38,847 Thank you, but it's miss Howard. 292 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,348 Miss? 293 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,351 Don't they harvest the crops around here? 294 00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:44,895 Well, you're a bachelor. 295 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,942 Yeah, but that's intentional. 296 00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,315 - I mean, anytime... - Oh, I know what you mean. 297 00:15:49,407 --> 00:15:51,167 But you may be even more amazed to learn that 298 00:15:51,242 --> 00:15:54,575 some women remain single intentionally. 299 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:56,402 Well, as one confirmed bachelor to another, 300 00:15:56,497 --> 00:15:58,078 I think we'll hit it off. 301 00:16:00,084 --> 00:16:01,524 When I left, if a man wanted a house, 302 00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,201 he built one and that was that. 303 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:06,333 Oh, you must have been away a long time. 304 00:16:06,424 --> 00:16:08,506 What's all that up there? 305 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,254 Rosemary: That's paradise hills. 306 00:16:10,344 --> 00:16:12,300 A new development Mr. jynson started. 307 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,970 But he had to stop work on it for a while. 308 00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,672 The minute I met him, I said to myself, 309 00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,554 "now here's a man with an arrested development.” 310 00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,933 Mr. jynson is a very intelligent businessman. 311 00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:25,390 Then what's holding up paradise hills? 312 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:29,603 Well, it's a personal matter, but only temporary. 313 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:32,109 Do you intend do your work in the valley or downtown? 314 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,940 At home. = oh. 315 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,242 Which reminds me, I'll need a secretary for some typing. 316 00:16:36,329 --> 00:16:38,490 Is there anybody in the neighborhood? 317 00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:40,287 Oh, I'm afraid not. 318 00:16:40,374 --> 00:16:43,332 I'll inquire around, but most women in paradise 319 00:16:43,419 --> 00:16:45,831 have husbands and children. 320 00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:48,083 Lot of families get started that way. 321 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:16,816 It would be pink. 322 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,242 That's not pink. 323 00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,741 That's California coral. 324 00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,413 Who thinks up all the names for colors in this country, 325 00:17:23,501 --> 00:17:25,037 Tennessee Williams? 326 00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:34,132 - Just like that, no key? - Oh, there is. 327 00:17:34,220 --> 00:17:37,303 But nobody has to lock a house in paradise. 328 00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,005 Hey, it's very attractive. 329 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:44,177 Even the termites seem to like it. 330 00:17:44,272 --> 00:17:47,184 That's pecky cypress, and it's quite the rage. 331 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:50,232 Ah! It's very charming. 332 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,605 What do you call this style? Early Disneyland? 333 00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:00,902 By sliding these open, 334 00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,283 you can bring the outdoors in. 335 00:18:03,374 --> 00:18:04,830 Bugs and all. 336 00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,088 This is your TV. 337 00:18:16,178 --> 00:18:17,668 And here's the bar. 338 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,799 Hmm. 339 00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:21,610 The last tenants must have been real drunks. 340 00:18:21,642 --> 00:18:22,927 There's not a drop left. 341 00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:28,472 There're two bedrooms, but only one is furnished. 342 00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:31,148 One is all a bachelor needs if he works it right. 343 00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,318 Sweet. 344 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,160 Painter couldn't make up his mind, huh? 345 00:18:52,423 --> 00:18:55,085 What's this? A runway for the mice? 346 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,417 If you're so disenchanted with the house, Mr. Adams. 347 00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:59,547 I'll be happy to tear up the lease. 348 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:02,005 Oh, no. No. Don't do that. 349 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,340 It's not a bad little cracker box at all. 350 00:19:04,435 --> 00:19:05,720 One hundred million Americans 351 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,551 would love to live in this cracker box. 352 00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:09,854 That would make it crowded, wouldn't it? 353 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,555 Is there anything else I can show you? 354 00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,642 No. Just let me stumble around for myself 355 00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,317 and enjoy the thrill of discovery. 356 00:19:15,404 --> 00:19:17,690 I suppose you have a kitchen, broom closets. 357 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:19,113 Oh, all the comforts. 358 00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:21,065 - Even indoor plumbing. - Oh, good. 359 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,402 - I hate those long walks. - Good afternoon, Mr. Adams. 360 00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:26,078 Oh, wait. My luggage? 361 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,999 What was that? = the school bus. 362 00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:32,668 Sounds like one of the kids is driving. 363 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:01,468 What do you say we break out of here tonight, 364 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,357 and let me take you to dinner? 365 00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,784 Thank you, but I have a business appointment. 366 00:20:05,871 --> 00:20:06,906 Oh. 367 00:20:08,582 --> 00:20:10,243 What about tomorrow night? 368 00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:12,700 Lonely bachelors should stick together, don't you think? 369 00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:15,958 Oh, definitely, and if I find one that I think you'd like, 370 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:17,913 I'll let you know, Mr. Adams. 371 00:20:18,008 --> 00:20:19,008 Goodbye. 372 00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:21,469 Bye. 373 00:20:31,272 --> 00:20:33,308 Hi. Who are you? 374 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,014 I'm Mr. Adams. I'm moving in here. 375 00:20:35,109 --> 00:20:36,849 I'm Peter. I live down there. 376 00:20:36,944 --> 00:20:39,151 - Down where? Peter: I won't tell you. 377 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,604 I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. 378 00:20:41,699 --> 00:20:44,156 Is he a stranger? = sure. 379 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,609 This is my sister Mrs. macintyre. 380 00:20:46,704 --> 00:20:48,740 Mrs. macintyre? 381 00:20:48,831 --> 00:20:49,911 Well, ma'am, how do you do? 382 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,580 How do I do what? 383 00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,792 It's just not my day for women. 384 00:20:57,673 --> 00:21:00,540 He sure is a stranger. Come on. 385 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,656 Oh, for Pete's sake! 386 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,419 Ohh! 387 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:43,750 You scared me. 388 00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:45,835 - Who are you? - Well, I'm Jack Adams. 389 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,966 And I didn't know you come with the house? 390 00:21:48,057 --> 00:21:49,718 Are you a friend of Rosemary's? 391 00:21:49,809 --> 00:21:51,219 Not yet. 392 00:21:51,310 --> 00:21:53,676 Well, then, what're you doing in her house? 393 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,040 Oh, is this Rosemary Howard's house? 394 00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,850 Sure. Didn't you know? 395 00:21:56,941 --> 00:21:58,806 No, but I wish I had. 396 00:21:58,901 --> 00:22:01,893 She's renting this place to me, but she didn't tell me that. 397 00:22:01,987 --> 00:22:05,320 Oh! Now that you mentioned it, she did say that. 398 00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:08,570 Well, hi. I'm Linda delavane, your next-door neighbor. 399 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,822 - Hi. - I came in to grind my garbage. 400 00:22:10,913 --> 00:22:12,557 Well, what's the matter with your own garbage grinder? 401 00:22:12,581 --> 00:22:14,242 Well, we don't have one. 402 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,450 See, you get your choice of garbage disposer or dishwasher. 403 00:22:17,545 --> 00:22:18,876 So we took the dishwasher 404 00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:20,749 because the disposer was a little extra, 405 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:23,456 and Larry didn't feel we oughta obligate ourselves too heavily. 406 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:25,587 - Larry? - My husband. 407 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:27,214 Don't tell me you're married? 408 00:22:27,304 --> 00:22:29,636 I better be, I've got two children. 409 00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:32,715 Larry's a senior inertial control systems analyst. 410 00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:34,175 A very important position. 411 00:22:34,270 --> 00:22:35,550 Yeah, specially if you want your 412 00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:37,560 inertial control system analyzed. 413 00:22:37,648 --> 00:22:39,354 - Yeah. - You're Southern, aren't you? 414 00:22:39,441 --> 00:22:41,682 - Savannah, Georgia! - Well, sho'. 415 00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:43,438 But I met Larry in school in Michigan. 416 00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:46,236 - I was on a scholarship. - Basketball? 417 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:48,154 Romance languages. 418 00:22:48,242 --> 00:22:51,951 I was going to teach, but we got married the day we graduated. 419 00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,744 And then Stevie came along, and then Dougie, 420 00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:57,369 and now I'm settled down here in paradise village 421 00:22:57,459 --> 00:22:58,790 as a hausfrau. 422 00:22:58,878 --> 00:23:00,414 You're a living soap opera. 423 00:23:00,504 --> 00:23:01,835 Don't you like it here? 424 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:04,459 Oh! For the children, it's marvelous, 425 00:23:04,550 --> 00:23:07,292 but for me there's so little cultural stimulation, 426 00:23:07,386 --> 00:23:09,226 and I'm sure the good lord didn't intend for me 427 00:23:09,263 --> 00:23:10,924 to use my phi beta kappa key 428 00:23:11,015 --> 00:23:14,098 to punch holes on the top of a grated cheese can. 429 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:15,640 What're you doing there? 430 00:23:15,728 --> 00:23:17,648 I'm trying to loosen this so it will start again. 431 00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,561 Rosemary showed me how to do it. 432 00:23:19,648 --> 00:23:21,388 She's a terribly sweet person. 433 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:22,939 When theirs gets stuck, she takes in 434 00:23:23,027 --> 00:23:24,688 garbage from the whole neighborhood. 435 00:23:24,778 --> 00:23:28,236 Hm. It's nice of her to find a location like this for me. 436 00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,030 Right in the middle of things. 437 00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:31,948 Can I help you there? 438 00:23:32,036 --> 00:23:34,277 Now, hold it firm and try to move it around. 439 00:23:34,371 --> 00:23:35,736 - Yeah. Hm-hm. - Yeah, that's it. 440 00:23:35,831 --> 00:23:37,434 Sort of like stirring the fudge, isn't it? 441 00:23:37,458 --> 00:23:38,618 Yeah. 442 00:23:38,709 --> 00:23:39,869 Okay. 443 00:23:43,130 --> 00:23:44,495 Hold it! 444 00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:45,775 - Hold it! Hold it! - You got it on high? 445 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:48,415 Wait! Wait! Wait! 446 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:49,510 Okay. 447 00:23:52,973 --> 00:23:55,243 They get kinda vicious when they haven't been fed for a while. 448 00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:56,803 - Don't they? - Yeah. 449 00:24:19,249 --> 00:24:20,830 Hello, men! 450 00:24:20,918 --> 00:24:22,283 You broke my drum! 451 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:25,982 And you shouldn't leave it lying here any way. 452 00:24:26,006 --> 00:24:27,997 Let's turn this down! 453 00:24:28,092 --> 00:24:29,753 Phew! 454 00:24:29,843 --> 00:24:31,549 David Douglas delavane! 455 00:24:31,637 --> 00:24:33,798 - Hey, who put your cage on? - Mommy did. 456 00:24:33,889 --> 00:24:36,221 He started eating a bottle of nail Polish. 457 00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,720 He did, eh? You little Billy goat, you. 458 00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,142 Uh, Stevie, take his gloves off 459 00:24:40,229 --> 00:24:41,539 and let's get him ready for dinner. 460 00:24:41,563 --> 00:24:43,849 - Linda, I'm home! - I'm here, honey. 461 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,529 Y... your birthday? =- hmm-mm. 462 00:24:56,620 --> 00:25:00,408 Our anniversary? My birthday? = no. No. 463 00:25:00,499 --> 00:25:02,410 It's our new neighbor's idea, Mr. Adams. 464 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,457 - He rented Rosemary's house. - Yeah. 465 00:25:04,545 --> 00:25:06,877 He says a man likes to come home and see his wife 466 00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:09,171 in a pretty frock, all fresh and with her hair combed. 467 00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:10,589 You know something, he's right. 468 00:25:10,676 --> 00:25:12,587 Oh, you'd like him. He's quite nice looking. 469 00:25:12,678 --> 00:25:15,966 Kinda cute, very mysterious. And he speaks French. 470 00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:18,422 What's so mysterious about speaking French? 471 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:20,078 You've got a husband and two sons to feed, baby. 472 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:21,342 Let's eat. = in a while. 473 00:25:21,437 --> 00:25:23,894 Give me ten minutes. = ten minutes? 474 00:25:23,981 --> 00:25:26,222 I guess I just sort of lost track of time. 475 00:25:26,316 --> 00:25:28,022 Jack and I got to chatting. 476 00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:31,568 I was transported to all sorts of romantic places. 477 00:25:31,655 --> 00:25:33,316 Forgot all about dirty dishes and diapers. 478 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:35,272 Oh! So that's the equation, is it? 479 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:37,483 Mr. Adams equals mystery and romance. 480 00:25:37,578 --> 00:25:39,097 Mr. delavane equals diapers and dishes. 481 00:25:39,121 --> 00:25:40,531 Larry! 482 00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,422 Some stranger moves in, starts filling my wife 483 00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:44,369 with a lot of talk about romantic places, 484 00:25:44,460 --> 00:25:47,327 and changing her clothes, and speaking French. 485 00:25:47,421 --> 00:25:48,957 I never did trust that language. 486 00:25:49,048 --> 00:25:51,334 Oh, Larry, don't be so sensitive. 487 00:25:51,425 --> 00:25:53,541 Are you jealous? = me? Jealous? 488 00:25:55,846 --> 00:25:58,178 No. But there are some jealous husbands around here, 489 00:25:58,265 --> 00:26:00,756 and if your Mr. Adams starts transporting their wives, 490 00:26:00,851 --> 00:26:02,412 there's going to be more trouble in paradise 491 00:26:02,436 --> 00:26:04,347 than Eve started with that apple! 492 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:34,498 Say, would you please send a cab to 22931 katherina street? 493 00:26:34,593 --> 00:26:35,924 Right away. 494 00:26:36,011 --> 00:26:37,251 Thank you. 495 00:27:02,079 --> 00:27:04,070 Thelma: Are you in a hurry, Ms. Howard? 496 00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:07,076 Yes. I have an appointment at 8 o'clock, but I... 497 00:27:19,096 --> 00:27:22,634 Um, just bring me a hamburger and coffee to go, Thelma. 498 00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:24,214 Thelma: Okay. 499 00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:32,356 I can't tell you when I'll be free for the next call. 500 00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:34,353 I don't know how fast this nut eats. 501 00:27:34,444 --> 00:27:36,560 Man on phone: Oh, yeah? = yeah. 502 00:28:08,353 --> 00:28:09,993 Man 1: Well, guys and gals, if that didn't 503 00:28:10,022 --> 00:28:11,603 get you out of bed, you're dead. 504 00:28:47,434 --> 00:28:50,346 Adam: "How the Americans live," chapter one. 505 00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:52,598 "The din dawns with the day. 506 00:28:52,689 --> 00:28:54,645 Throughout most of the civilized world, 507 00:28:54,733 --> 00:28:57,645 a new day is born in a silence so profound, 508 00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,897 one can imagine he hears the morning glory 509 00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:03,105 open its petals to greet the rising sun. 510 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,282 But hour-conscious, minute-counting, 511 00:29:05,369 --> 00:29:08,532 time-saving America is blasted from sleep 512 00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:12,160 by the explosive screams of the alarm clock radio, 513 00:29:12,251 --> 00:29:14,492 which may largely explain the frenetic pace 514 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:17,373 that jangles the nation's nerves throughout the day." 515 00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:33,510 Timed to the split second, 516 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:35,516 an entire community prepares for the day 517 00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:37,518 in a seemingly well-regulated schedule 518 00:29:37,609 --> 00:29:40,897 that first dispatches the adult males. 519 00:29:40,988 --> 00:29:42,694 And gets them safely into the aorta 520 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:44,487 of the city's traffic system. 521 00:29:44,574 --> 00:29:47,441 Those marvels of engineering called freeways, 522 00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:50,369 that have contributed so much to American progress. 523 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:16,970 The next major movement of which 524 00:30:17,065 --> 00:30:19,226 the objective observer is aware 525 00:30:19,318 --> 00:30:21,934 comes after an interval during which the adult females 526 00:30:22,029 --> 00:30:24,520 have attended their basic household chores, 527 00:30:24,614 --> 00:30:26,855 when they emerge to run errands, walk dogs, 528 00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:28,861 stroll babies, borrow, 529 00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:30,863 lend, exchange, and discuss. 530 00:30:39,463 --> 00:30:41,795 And during the period from sunup till sundown, 531 00:30:41,882 --> 00:30:45,420 the typical American community is completely matriarchal, 532 00:30:45,510 --> 00:30:48,252 dominated entirely by females. 533 00:30:48,347 --> 00:30:51,305 A no man's land more foreboding than ancient scythia, 534 00:30:51,391 --> 00:30:53,256 home of the Amazon. 535 00:30:53,352 --> 00:30:55,843 - Hi, stranger. - Well, Mrs. mcintyre! 536 00:30:55,937 --> 00:30:58,804 - Why aren't you in school? - I had to stay home today. 537 00:30:58,899 --> 00:31:01,140 - My husband is sick. - Oh, that's too bad. 538 00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:03,520 - What's the matter? - I think he's pregnant. 539 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:06,770 Bye. 540 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,666 Go this way, stranger. 541 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,396 What're you gonna buy, stranger? 542 00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:45,191 - Lots of things. - Then you better get a wagon. 543 00:31:52,411 --> 00:31:54,527 Sissy, I thought I'd told you to wait in the car. 544 00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:56,407 I have to help the stranger. 545 00:31:56,498 --> 00:31:59,615 Oh. Oh, you're Mr. Adams, the new gentleman. 546 00:31:59,709 --> 00:32:01,540 I'm Bertha pickering, sissy's mother. 547 00:32:01,628 --> 00:32:03,209 I hope she isn't too much of a bother. 548 00:32:03,296 --> 00:32:05,412 Not at all. She can help if you don't object. 549 00:32:05,507 --> 00:32:07,623 Well... Mind you, behave now, sissy. 550 00:32:11,388 --> 00:32:12,719 Pardon me. 551 00:32:16,351 --> 00:32:19,684 Ah-ha! I was just about to call the auto club. 552 00:32:19,771 --> 00:32:21,056 I'll be in fresh vegetables. 553 00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:23,264 Stranger, what're you gonna buy? 554 00:32:23,358 --> 00:32:25,599 Well, let's start with coffee. Where's that? 555 00:32:25,694 --> 00:32:27,025 Down this way. 556 00:32:52,220 --> 00:32:54,131 Can I have one? 557 00:32:54,222 --> 00:32:55,712 Oh, sure. Be my guest. 558 00:33:01,438 --> 00:33:03,178 No, no. Not from the bottom. No. No. 559 00:33:03,273 --> 00:33:05,059 Can I have some for my husband? 560 00:33:05,150 --> 00:33:06,811 Yeah, but let me get it for you, honey. 561 00:33:11,948 --> 00:33:15,111 Man 2: Floor man, accident on aisle 14. 562 00:33:15,202 --> 00:33:16,908 Big brother is watching you. 563 00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:20,619 He did it! 564 00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:24,749 Where do you get eggs? = from chickens! 565 00:33:24,836 --> 00:33:26,246 Eggs are this way. 566 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:28,294 Yes, well, you, you help the nice man 567 00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:29,996 put the cans together, huh? 568 00:33:30,091 --> 00:33:32,002 Here. That's for her husband. 569 00:34:24,771 --> 00:34:26,602 Are there any more small broilers? 570 00:34:26,690 --> 00:34:29,102 Man 2: Sorry, ma'am. Not until the next delivery. 571 00:34:29,192 --> 00:34:30,978 Oh, dear. 572 00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:33,185 - Allow me. - Thanks just the same. 573 00:34:33,280 --> 00:34:34,549 Oh, take it. I can't cook anyway. 574 00:34:34,573 --> 00:34:35,904 Well, why'd you buy it? 575 00:34:35,991 --> 00:34:37,856 To practice on, but I can practice with eggs 576 00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:39,236 if I ever find them. 577 00:34:39,327 --> 00:34:40,930 No, you take it. I'll find something else. 578 00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:42,306 I'll tell you what, we'll split it. 579 00:34:42,330 --> 00:34:43,820 Split it?! Well, you can't possibly... 580 00:34:43,915 --> 00:34:45,955 Well, it' quite simple, you take it home and cook it 581 00:34:46,001 --> 00:34:48,913 then bring it over to my place, and we'll share it. 582 00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:50,398 Well, you're very generous, Mr. Adams. 583 00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:51,707 Well, what's the matter? 584 00:34:51,798 --> 00:34:53,459 Don't you think I'm worth half a chicken? 585 00:34:53,550 --> 00:34:56,007 Well, frankly, I haven't thought of you in terms of chickens. 586 00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:57,613 In fact, I haven't thought of you, period. 587 00:34:57,637 --> 00:34:59,628 - Good day. - Uh, wait. Wait. 588 00:34:59,723 --> 00:35:01,759 - I want to apologize. - For what? 589 00:35:01,850 --> 00:35:03,841 For some of the things I said yesterday. 590 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:05,550 Why didn't you tell me it was your house? 591 00:35:05,645 --> 00:35:07,445 Well, I thought it would be less embarrassing. 592 00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:08,522 But I was wrong. 593 00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:10,063 Well, I hope you'll forgive me. 594 00:35:10,150 --> 00:35:12,061 I'd hate to think I got off on the wrong foot. 595 00:35:12,152 --> 00:35:13,792 Well, don't you worry about it, Mr. Adams. 596 00:35:13,862 --> 00:35:15,727 Ours is purely a business arrangement. 597 00:35:15,822 --> 00:35:17,813 You rented my house, not me. 598 00:35:17,907 --> 00:35:19,522 You're sure you won't reconsider 599 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,859 splitting this broiler with me tonight? 600 00:35:21,953 --> 00:35:23,693 Tomorrow night? 601 00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:26,871 Honestly, Ms. Howard, I'm the safest man in California. 602 00:35:26,958 --> 00:35:29,119 I'm the most determined bachelor you'll ever meet. 603 00:35:29,210 --> 00:35:31,121 Well, that's obvious, but it still doesn't 604 00:35:31,212 --> 00:35:32,702 make you any safer, you know. 605 00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:35,254 Oh, come now. You don't think I'd ask a girl to 606 00:35:35,342 --> 00:35:38,084 come up to her own house to see her own etchings. 607 00:35:38,178 --> 00:35:41,215 Probably, if you thought you could get away with it. 608 00:35:41,306 --> 00:35:42,887 Pardon me. 609 00:35:42,974 --> 00:35:47,809 Oh, Ms. Howard! Dear, you're just the one I need. 610 00:35:47,896 --> 00:35:49,887 Sign this petition to help safeguard 611 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:52,393 the young people of paradise village, will you? 612 00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:54,099 Well, what is this, Mrs. brown? 613 00:35:54,194 --> 00:35:56,981 Well, the village bookshop is selling those dreadful books 614 00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:58,903 by a.J. Niles again. 615 00:35:58,990 --> 00:36:01,823 And I want to make them take those nasty volumes out of there 616 00:36:01,910 --> 00:36:03,901 before they corrupt our youth. 617 00:36:03,995 --> 00:36:06,236 Mr. jynson's already signed it. 618 00:36:06,331 --> 00:36:07,992 Have you ever read any of the books? 619 00:36:08,083 --> 00:36:10,039 Certainly not. 620 00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:12,617 Well, then, how do you know that they're so nasty? 621 00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:17,126 Certain chapters in all of a.J. Niles' books are nasty. 622 00:36:17,217 --> 00:36:19,583 Everyone knows that's what makes him so popular. 623 00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,509 Well, I can't see how the presence of a book 624 00:36:21,596 --> 00:36:23,211 can corrupt anyone. 625 00:36:23,306 --> 00:36:25,638 And besides, I feel that it's the parents' duty 626 00:36:25,725 --> 00:36:28,387 to censor their children's reading, not mine. 627 00:36:28,478 --> 00:36:31,436 So I'm afraid I won't be able to sign your petition, Mrs. brown. 628 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:33,013 I'll sign that, Mrs. brown. 629 00:36:33,108 --> 00:36:36,396 - Well, you're a good neighbor. - Yes. 630 00:36:36,486 --> 00:36:39,478 - Uh, Mr. Adams, isn't it? - Yeah, that's right. 631 00:36:39,572 --> 00:36:42,188 And don't think I don't admire your attitude, Ms. Howard, 632 00:36:42,283 --> 00:36:44,820 but I feel a sense of obligation to the writer. 633 00:36:44,911 --> 00:36:46,447 Every attempt to suppress books 634 00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:49,701 just helps push them up on top the bestseller list. 635 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:52,328 So, thank you, Mrs. brown, on behalf of a.J. Niles 636 00:36:52,419 --> 00:36:54,330 and the bureau of internal revenue. 637 00:37:02,512 --> 00:37:05,299 Man 2: Floor man, accident on aisle three. 638 00:37:06,975 --> 00:37:08,840 I see you found the eggs. 639 00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:30,779 I'm s 0 rry! 640 00:37:30,874 --> 00:37:33,741 - My fault! - That's alright. 641 00:37:39,632 --> 00:37:40,917 He.. 642 00:38:14,209 --> 00:38:16,325 Um... 643 00:38:16,419 --> 00:38:18,501 I hope you don't think I'm following you, 644 00:38:18,588 --> 00:38:19,873 but something's leaking. 645 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:21,295 Leaking? 646 00:38:21,382 --> 00:38:23,543 Yeah, from your car, all over the street. 647 00:38:23,635 --> 00:38:24,635 Oh, yeah. Here it is. 648 00:38:24,677 --> 00:38:26,042 Here. What is that? 649 00:38:26,137 --> 00:38:27,593 Well, it looks like soap powder. 650 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,762 In fact, it is soap powder. 651 00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:31,714 Oh, well, that's alright. I have several boxes. 652 00:38:31,810 --> 00:38:33,095 Thank you. 653 00:38:33,186 --> 00:38:35,347 This is Rosemary Howard's house. 654 00:38:35,438 --> 00:38:37,269 That's right. I'm leasing. 655 00:38:37,357 --> 00:38:40,144 Oh, I heard she rented it to a bachelor. 656 00:38:40,235 --> 00:38:42,226 Jack Adams. 657 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:45,027 No wonder Tom was so upset when he heard you'd moved in. 658 00:38:45,114 --> 00:38:47,355 - Tom? - Tom jynson. 659 00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:50,487 Oh, yeah. That's the blow-hard who built this no man's land. 660 00:38:50,578 --> 00:38:53,615 I'm, uh, Mrs. Tom jynson. 661 00:38:53,706 --> 00:38:56,493 - Yeah, well, I'm sorry. I... - No, that's quite alright. 662 00:38:56,584 --> 00:38:58,290 Blow-hard's a very good word for him. 663 00:38:58,378 --> 00:38:59,584 Here, let me help. 664 00:38:59,671 --> 00:39:00,956 You get the others. 665 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:26,940 I'll get the rest. 666 00:39:45,008 --> 00:39:47,124 Certainly neighborly of you, Mrs. jynson. 667 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:50,085 - Dolores. - Thank you, Dolores. 668 00:39:50,179 --> 00:39:51,840 Can I help you with something else? 669 00:39:51,931 --> 00:39:53,546 I mean, I love to do for a man, 670 00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:56,974 and Tom doesn't seem to need me to do for him these days. 671 00:39:57,061 --> 00:39:58,551 Oh. 672 00:39:58,646 --> 00:40:01,308 Isn't there something more I can do for you? 673 00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:04,141 - As a matter of fact, there is. - Oh, what? 674 00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:06,146 Show me how the washing machine works. 675 00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:07,397 Oh, that's nothing. 676 00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:11,277 - I already put the laundry in. - You did? 677 00:40:11,367 --> 00:40:13,358 Well, uh... Oh, you... you put the soap 678 00:40:13,453 --> 00:40:15,364 in this little trap door on top. 679 00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:19,789 And then you, um... Uh, you turn this dial. 680 00:40:19,876 --> 00:40:22,208 - Is that all? - Mm-hmm. Simple. 681 00:40:22,295 --> 00:40:25,708 Oh. Why don't you go ahead and get things started, and I'll... 682 00:40:25,798 --> 00:40:27,254 Well, I'll put the groceries away. 683 00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:28,342 Okay. 684 00:40:49,113 --> 00:40:51,229 I keep everything in the top shelf. 685 00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:56,868 Hey, don't put in too much soap. 686 00:40:56,955 --> 00:40:58,035 How much is too much? 687 00:40:58,122 --> 00:41:00,033 Well, that's more than enough. 688 00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:03,620 Oh, gosh, yes. 689 00:41:03,711 --> 00:41:05,952 Now you, uh, close this, 690 00:41:06,047 --> 00:41:07,878 and you just, uh... 691 00:41:07,966 --> 00:41:09,877 Well, you just turn this dial. 692 00:41:11,761 --> 00:41:13,922 I must have left some change in the pockets. 693 00:41:14,013 --> 00:41:16,425 Oh. The first cycle's the noisiest. 694 00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:19,132 Then it sort of settles down to a roar. 695 00:41:19,227 --> 00:41:20,342 No, that's alright. 696 00:41:20,436 --> 00:41:22,973 Don't wear yourself out this way. 697 00:41:23,064 --> 00:41:24,520 You're too pretty for the kitchen. 698 00:41:24,607 --> 00:41:25,938 Oh? 699 00:41:29,529 --> 00:41:33,863 Um, I'm not keeping you from anything urgent, am I? 700 00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:36,032 Well, I was gonna dust, but I can do that later. 701 00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,359 Am I holding you up? 702 00:41:37,453 --> 00:41:39,489 Well, as a matter of fact you are... 703 00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:41,696 From my cocktail hour. 704 00:41:41,791 --> 00:41:42,911 Well, isn't it little early? 705 00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:44,366 Well, what else is there to do? 706 00:41:44,460 --> 00:41:47,042 In alphabetical order? 707 00:41:47,130 --> 00:41:50,714 Um, there's something I might explain about Tom and me 708 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,667 that would put your mind very at ease maybe. 709 00:41:55,430 --> 00:41:57,466 Can you make a really dry Gibson? 710 00:41:57,557 --> 00:42:00,219 Five parts gin, and I think for a moment about the vermouth. 711 00:42:01,686 --> 00:42:04,302 You see, we're, uh, separated. 712 00:42:04,397 --> 00:42:06,308 We hardly ever see each other. 713 00:42:06,399 --> 00:42:08,936 Does that put your mind very at ease? 714 00:42:09,027 --> 00:42:10,233 - Hm? - Just my conscience. 715 00:42:10,319 --> 00:42:13,311 - My mind is having a ball. - Oh? 716 00:42:13,406 --> 00:42:16,443 Well, we're more than separated, really. 717 00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:18,525 We're about to be divorced. 718 00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:21,406 I, uh, consider myself an unattached woman... 719 00:42:21,497 --> 00:42:22,953 Practically... 720 00:42:23,041 --> 00:42:24,281 If you know what I mean. 721 00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:26,240 I'm terribly afraid I do. 722 00:42:29,589 --> 00:42:31,875 - Woop. Oh. Excuse me. - Woop. 723 00:42:40,224 --> 00:42:41,839 Mmm... 724 00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:44,971 - Here's a little hitchhiker. - Thank you. 725 00:42:45,063 --> 00:42:48,055 You see, we have community property laws in this state, 726 00:42:48,149 --> 00:42:49,480 and he's finding out now that 727 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:52,058 he can't treat me the way he treats me. 728 00:42:52,153 --> 00:42:54,189 - Aren't you gonna have one? - Little early for me. 729 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:55,736 Early? It's April. 730 00:42:55,823 --> 00:42:57,654 Cheers. 731 00:43:06,876 --> 00:43:11,085 So, until he acts like a real husband should, 732 00:43:11,172 --> 00:43:14,005 I'm just going to keep all that money tied up, and his pa... 733 00:43:14,092 --> 00:43:15,377 Excuse me. 734 00:43:15,468 --> 00:43:18,255 His paradise hills can just sit there. 735 00:43:18,346 --> 00:43:20,553 You're the reason they stopped working on that? 736 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,471 Me and my lawyers. 737 00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:24,674 Oh, he thinks he's so smart. 738 00:43:24,769 --> 00:43:28,762 Oh, he's made a fortune, but he's all business, that man. 739 00:43:28,856 --> 00:43:31,723 I found the loveliest house in bel air. 740 00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:33,979 I went into escrow, but would he sign it? 741 00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:35,856 Not Tom jynson. 742 00:43:35,947 --> 00:43:37,437 He has to stay in paradise 743 00:43:37,532 --> 00:43:39,572 where he can keep his finger on the pulse of things. 744 00:43:39,659 --> 00:43:41,024 That's a laugh. 745 00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:43,906 Is it? = sure! 746 00:43:43,996 --> 00:43:47,079 He moves out to a swanky hotel and leaves me stuck in paradise. 747 00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,747 Now, very really... 748 00:43:56,551 --> 00:43:57,836 Oh, thank you. 749 00:44:00,138 --> 00:44:04,472 But, a woman gets that lonely feeling. 750 00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:06,971 She wants somebody to admire her 751 00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,097 and, and tell her how pretty she looks 752 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:11,975 and things like that. 753 00:44:12,066 --> 00:44:14,728 Why don't you come over here where we can talk? 754 00:44:14,819 --> 00:44:16,130 Oh, you're coming in loud and clear. 755 00:44:16,154 --> 00:44:17,940 Oh, come on! 756 00:44:18,030 --> 00:44:22,023 You're so sympathetic and understanding. 757 00:44:22,118 --> 00:44:24,279 Well, you're a very easy woman to understand. 758 00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:26,281 Am I? = uh-huh. 759 00:44:26,372 --> 00:44:29,614 May I ask you a very personal question, Jack Adams? 760 00:44:29,709 --> 00:44:31,074 Adam: Mm-hmm. 761 00:44:31,169 --> 00:44:32,969 Dolores: Do you find me attractive as a woman? 762 00:44:33,045 --> 00:44:35,536 Adam: Oh, I think you're extremely attractive as a woman, 763 00:44:35,631 --> 00:44:37,337 or anything. 764 00:44:37,425 --> 00:44:39,962 Tom doesn't find me attractive. 765 00:44:40,052 --> 00:44:41,792 He used to, but not anymore. 766 00:44:41,888 --> 00:44:43,657 That's the trouble with those real-estate men. 767 00:44:43,681 --> 00:44:46,218 Once they get you through escrow, they lose interest. 768 00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:48,550 I know he doesn't find me attractive. 769 00:44:48,644 --> 00:44:50,851 Because he goes out with other women, 770 00:44:50,938 --> 00:44:53,896 one very other woman in particular... 771 00:44:53,983 --> 00:44:55,848 Rosemary. 772 00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:57,103 Rosemary Howard? 773 00:44:58,821 --> 00:45:00,937 They were together all the time. 774 00:45:01,032 --> 00:45:04,524 He used to leave me night after night after night. 775 00:45:04,619 --> 00:45:08,203 It was always business, and it was always Rosemary. 776 00:45:10,166 --> 00:45:14,159 I'm, uh, a lonely woman, Jack. 777 00:45:14,253 --> 00:45:16,835 So very, very lonely. 778 00:45:16,923 --> 00:45:19,665 Yeah, I'm beginning to see what you mean. 779 00:45:19,759 --> 00:45:22,250 Have you ever thought of buying a parakeet? 780 00:45:22,345 --> 00:45:24,677 They say tropical fish are fun. 781 00:45:24,764 --> 00:45:27,346 I can't help it. 782 00:45:27,433 --> 00:45:29,890 I'm not made of stone, you know? 783 00:45:29,977 --> 00:45:33,219 No, not unless they're doing some new things with it. 784 00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:34,929 I'm kind of lonely here myself. 785 00:45:35,024 --> 00:45:38,061 You are? I'm a marvelous cook! =- mm-hm. 786 00:45:38,152 --> 00:45:40,438 I'll make you breakfast. 787 00:45:40,529 --> 00:45:42,110 I had breakfast. 788 00:45:42,198 --> 00:45:45,031 Tomorrow's? 789 00:45:45,117 --> 00:45:46,482 It'll get cold. 790 00:45:46,577 --> 00:45:49,694 Well, I'll come over and heat it up. 791 00:45:54,585 --> 00:45:56,701 Oh, my gosh! 792 00:45:56,796 --> 00:45:58,832 I... I must have pushed the wrong dial! 793 00:45:58,923 --> 00:46:01,005 What'd you set it for, Niagara Falls? 794 00:46:01,092 --> 00:46:03,834 We got to shut it off. = aah! Ooh! 795 00:46:08,599 --> 00:46:12,342 Mommy, look. The house is throwing up. 796 00:46:14,605 --> 00:46:16,766 - What's happening? - Wait here. Watch the kids. 797 00:46:16,857 --> 00:46:18,188 Yeah. Come on. 798 00:46:20,611 --> 00:46:23,944 - Oh, Jack, what's wrong? - The washing machine. 799 00:46:24,031 --> 00:46:25,896 - Too much detergent. - Get back! 800 00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:28,108 When it switches to rinse, the whole town may go. 801 00:46:28,202 --> 00:46:29,612 Well, somebody should turn it off. 802 00:46:29,704 --> 00:46:31,444 I'll phone for help. 803 00:46:38,337 --> 00:46:40,248 Oh, Jack. This is awful. 804 00:46:40,339 --> 00:46:42,955 First time I've seen a kitchen with a head on it. 805 00:46:43,050 --> 00:46:45,666 - God, it's getting higher. - Don't make any waves. 806 00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:48,927 What's that? 807 00:46:49,015 --> 00:46:50,721 Look for a lump with a tail on it. 808 00:46:50,808 --> 00:46:53,390 Aah! 809 00:46:53,477 --> 00:46:55,138 Linda! Linda! 810 00:46:55,229 --> 00:46:57,470 Oh! She'll be bubbled to death. 811 00:46:57,565 --> 00:46:59,726 Oh, Linda. Oh. Linda. 812 00:46:59,817 --> 00:47:02,308 - Here! Take him. - Yeah, I got him. 813 00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:05,520 Oh! Hope he doesn't shrink. He'll be a chihuahua. 814 00:47:11,912 --> 00:47:14,278 Aah! Mad dog! 815 00:47:14,373 --> 00:47:15,988 Mad house! 816 00:47:28,095 --> 00:47:30,302 Where's the fire? = no fire. 817 00:47:30,389 --> 00:47:31,799 What did you call us for? 818 00:47:31,891 --> 00:47:34,507 Well, if I hollered "soap!" Who'd come? 819 00:47:41,901 --> 00:47:45,064 Rosemary, when's the last time you stopped by your house? 820 00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:46,644 A week ago. Why? 821 00:47:46,739 --> 00:47:48,570 Did it look to you as if there was any 822 00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:50,613 dirty work going on there? 823 00:47:50,701 --> 00:47:52,908 - Dirty work? - Well, you know. 824 00:47:52,995 --> 00:47:54,906 No, I don't know. 825 00:47:54,997 --> 00:47:56,988 But the house never looked cleaner. 826 00:47:57,083 --> 00:48:00,075 There is definitely something strange going on. 827 00:48:00,169 --> 00:48:02,205 Just drive down katherina street, 828 00:48:02,296 --> 00:48:04,787 and you'll see women, our ladies, 829 00:48:04,882 --> 00:48:07,999 wearing lipstick and dresses, during the day! 830 00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:11,177 And it's starting to spread throughout paradise. 831 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:14,175 Now, Tom, exactly what is Mrs. brown telling you? 832 00:48:14,266 --> 00:48:16,882 Alright, I'll tell you what she told me. 833 00:48:16,977 --> 00:48:19,593 She told me that your harmless Mr. Adams 834 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:23,556 is entertaining women every afternoon in your house. 835 00:48:23,651 --> 00:48:25,767 Collectively or individually? 836 00:48:25,861 --> 00:48:28,147 Well, either way, I don't like it. It looks bad. 837 00:48:28,239 --> 00:48:31,777 Now, I want you to find out what is going on there. 838 00:48:37,748 --> 00:48:40,114 Now just picture this scene for yourselves... 839 00:48:40,209 --> 00:48:42,325 Your husband comes home, he walks in the house. 840 00:48:42,420 --> 00:48:45,833 He finds candles flickering and the dinner table set for two, 841 00:48:45,923 --> 00:48:48,881 soft, romantic music, a bottle of vintage wine 842 00:48:48,968 --> 00:48:50,833 chilled to exactly the right temperature, 843 00:48:50,928 --> 00:48:53,715 a faint, alluring scent of perfume. 844 00:48:53,806 --> 00:48:55,467 The setting is perfect. 845 00:48:55,558 --> 00:48:58,391 Then he discovers a woman he's never seen before, 846 00:48:58,477 --> 00:49:01,139 beautiful, seductive, exciting. 847 00:49:01,230 --> 00:49:03,767 What does he do? = I'll kill him! 848 00:49:05,693 --> 00:49:07,524 No, no, the woman is you. 849 00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:10,068 Oh! 850 00:49:10,156 --> 00:49:11,436 I promise you it'll be an evening 851 00:49:11,490 --> 00:49:12,980 you'll always remember. 852 00:49:13,075 --> 00:49:16,158 You'll awaken passions you've never known before. 853 00:49:16,245 --> 00:49:17,826 And I guarantee it'll work. 854 00:49:17,913 --> 00:49:20,029 But Jack, what do we do about the children? 855 00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:22,740 Well, cooperate, just like the Europeans. 856 00:49:22,835 --> 00:49:25,035 Leland's due home tonight. Would you watch Janie for me? 857 00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:27,294 - If you take my three tomorrow. - Okay. 858 00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:29,747 Linda, I'll gladly take the boys tonight. 859 00:49:29,842 --> 00:49:31,298 Adams: That's the idea, girls. 860 00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:32,863 And tomorrow afternoon, I want a report 861 00:49:32,887 --> 00:49:34,843 from all of you who try it tonight. 862 00:49:34,930 --> 00:49:36,591 Now happy hunting and toujours I'amour. 863 00:50:07,254 --> 00:50:08,790 Hi, Rosemary. = hi. 864 00:50:08,881 --> 00:50:10,963 Oh, you missed the most fascinating discussion. 865 00:50:11,050 --> 00:50:12,790 Yes. Why haven't you joined our group? 866 00:50:12,885 --> 00:50:15,297 Oh, well, I really haven't had time, Camille. 867 00:50:15,387 --> 00:50:18,720 I just stopped by on business. See you. 868 00:50:18,807 --> 00:50:20,172 - Bye-bye. - Bye. 869 00:50:20,267 --> 00:50:23,509 It was wonderful. Just wonderful. 870 00:50:23,604 --> 00:50:25,390 Well, won't you come in? 871 00:50:25,481 --> 00:50:27,267 I'll only be a minute. 872 00:50:32,696 --> 00:50:34,816 Well, what sort of a group have you formed, Mr. Adams? 873 00:50:34,865 --> 00:50:36,355 It's surely not aa. 874 00:50:36,450 --> 00:50:39,283 Well, one harmless Martini each just to loosen up. 875 00:50:39,370 --> 00:50:42,077 - You care for one? - I tighten up with Martinis. 876 00:50:42,164 --> 00:50:45,031 I stopped by only to ask if you had found a secretary yet? 877 00:50:45,125 --> 00:50:47,286 Well, I thought you were gonna look into that for me. 878 00:50:47,378 --> 00:50:49,356 Well, from what I've heard you seem to be interviewing 879 00:50:49,380 --> 00:50:51,792 all the women in town, every afternoon. 880 00:50:51,882 --> 00:50:54,214 Oh, we're conducting a cultural exchange. 881 00:50:54,301 --> 00:50:57,008 Daily discussions of life, love, and the pursuit. 882 00:50:57,096 --> 00:50:59,883 Seems to have had a bracing effect on the community. 883 00:50:59,974 --> 00:51:02,716 Understand there's been quite a run on girdles lately. 884 00:51:02,810 --> 00:51:05,973 Oh, and your friend niles' books are all sold out. 885 00:51:06,063 --> 00:51:07,749 Well, how do you know he's a friend of mine? 886 00:51:07,773 --> 00:51:09,855 Rosemary: Ten days ago you signed that petition. 887 00:51:09,942 --> 00:51:11,933 Of course. 888 00:51:12,027 --> 00:51:14,359 - Do you really know him? - Intimately. 889 00:51:14,446 --> 00:51:16,027 We worked on the same sports department 890 00:51:16,115 --> 00:51:17,730 back in Cleveland. 891 00:51:17,825 --> 00:51:19,861 Is he as wicked as his books? 892 00:51:19,952 --> 00:51:21,783 Well, that's a matter of opinion. 893 00:51:21,870 --> 00:51:23,610 I find him fascinating. 894 00:51:23,706 --> 00:51:25,617 I bet you'd like a.J. Niles. 895 00:51:25,708 --> 00:51:27,039 Splendid fellow. 896 00:51:27,126 --> 00:51:28,741 And a bachelor, too, by the way. 897 00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:30,326 What's he look like? 898 00:51:30,421 --> 00:51:32,537 Oh, he's devilishly attractive. 899 00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:34,792 I don't think I've ever seen a picture of him. 900 00:51:34,883 --> 00:51:36,111 Most writers have their portraits 901 00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:37,195 oh the backs of their books. 902 00:51:37,219 --> 00:51:38,584 You know smoking the pipe? 903 00:51:38,679 --> 00:51:40,279 Oh, he has to be very careful about that. 904 00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:41,712 If his face became well-known, 905 00:51:41,807 --> 00:51:44,219 it'd be a handicap to his research. 906 00:51:44,310 --> 00:51:45,766 Well, I'll tell you one thing. 907 00:51:45,853 --> 00:51:48,595 He'd be crazy about you. 908 00:51:48,689 --> 00:51:50,645 Oh? 909 00:51:50,733 --> 00:51:53,645 What makes you so sure? = your attitude. 910 00:51:53,736 --> 00:51:56,569 Your refreshingly realistic attitude. 911 00:51:56,655 --> 00:51:58,987 You don't have any of the natural female instinct 912 00:51:59,074 --> 00:52:00,814 to deprive a bachelor of his freedom. 913 00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,742 Oh, Mr. Adams, I just stopped by to tell you 914 00:52:03,829 --> 00:52:06,036 that I could get you a part-time secretary. 915 00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:07,784 Really? You could have called that one in. 916 00:52:09,668 --> 00:52:11,829 See how it works? Excuse me. 917 00:52:15,007 --> 00:52:16,497 Hello. 918 00:52:16,592 --> 00:52:18,082 Oh, hello. 919 00:52:18,177 --> 00:52:19,963 Well, I'm not sure. Hold on. 920 00:52:20,054 --> 00:52:21,794 Are you busy tonight, miss Howard? 921 00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:24,221 - For dinner, I mean. - Yes. 922 00:52:24,308 --> 00:52:25,889 Alright, do you know a nice place 923 00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:27,557 where we can have dinner for around $57? 924 00:52:27,645 --> 00:52:29,351 My allowance is little late. 925 00:52:29,438 --> 00:52:31,349 No, barbecue's fine. 926 00:52:31,440 --> 00:52:32,976 Where? 927 00:52:33,067 --> 00:52:35,103 The pig pit? 928 00:52:35,194 --> 00:52:36,479 Well, if you say so. 929 00:52:36,570 --> 00:52:38,481 Yeah, I'll pick you up around 7:00. 930 00:52:38,572 --> 00:52:40,904 Okay, you pick me up. Bye. 931 00:52:43,535 --> 00:52:45,347 I thought maybe the four of us could have dinner together. 932 00:52:45,371 --> 00:52:46,736 The four of us? 933 00:52:46,830 --> 00:52:48,616 Yeah, me and my date, and you and Tom jynson. 934 00:52:48,707 --> 00:52:50,823 Tom jynson? Well, he's a married man. 935 00:52:50,918 --> 00:52:52,749 Well, Dolores jynson's a married woman. 936 00:52:52,836 --> 00:52:54,201 Well, she's not your date. 937 00:52:54,296 --> 00:52:56,412 Why not? They're practically divorced. 938 00:52:56,507 --> 00:52:57,692 And I think the four of us together 939 00:52:57,716 --> 00:52:59,172 would be quite civilized. 940 00:52:59,259 --> 00:53:02,422 - Could be quite amusing. - Thanks, Mr. Adams. 941 00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:04,970 But I'm not that desperate for amusement. 942 00:53:05,057 --> 00:53:06,263 Goodbye. 943 00:53:11,021 --> 00:53:13,433 Adam on recorder: The American woman, in her desperation, 944 00:53:13,524 --> 00:53:14,934 driven toward what she regards 945 00:53:15,025 --> 00:53:17,107 as equality with the American man, 946 00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:19,651 has somehow lost the art of romance. 947 00:53:19,738 --> 00:53:21,569 Now her love for the conveniences, 948 00:53:21,657 --> 00:53:24,319 the electric can opener, automatic TV, 949 00:53:24,410 --> 00:53:25,650 no wash... 950 00:53:27,204 --> 00:53:29,286 That could be stronger. 951 00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:31,113 Let me see... 952 00:53:35,462 --> 00:53:37,748 Memo, check the girls tomorrow 953 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:40,172 to see how the experiment turned out. 954 00:53:42,886 --> 00:53:44,797 Camille, honey, I'm home! 955 00:54:02,948 --> 00:54:05,906 Well? 956 00:54:05,993 --> 00:54:09,110 Excuse me, madam. Must be in the wrong house. 957 00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:10,865 Leland quinlaw! 958 00:54:13,041 --> 00:54:15,783 I did not lose the electric light money in the bridge game! 959 00:54:15,878 --> 00:54:17,664 Then let me see you turn them on. 960 00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:21,339 I don't want them on. I want candlelight and romance! 961 00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,916 And I want the lights on! 962 00:54:24,011 --> 00:54:26,047 And what's with the violins? 963 00:54:26,138 --> 00:54:27,469 Who needs this? 964 00:54:27,556 --> 00:54:29,171 And I want to see my kids, 965 00:54:29,266 --> 00:54:32,008 and I'm not going to eat dinner in the bedroom! 966 00:54:32,102 --> 00:54:33,808 And take off that ridiculous dress! 967 00:54:33,896 --> 00:54:35,386 This is no dance hall. 968 00:54:41,862 --> 00:54:44,148 - Baby, come here! - Larry! Don't. 969 00:54:44,239 --> 00:54:45,717 You wanna play on the couch! You wanna play on the... 970 00:54:45,741 --> 00:54:47,481 Larry, I've got to think. 971 00:54:47,576 --> 00:54:50,158 You don't have to think for what I've got in mind, baby! 972 00:54:50,245 --> 00:54:51,860 - Not... - Ah! 973 00:54:57,044 --> 00:55:01,583 You and your ideas, baby. You fracture me. 974 00:55:01,673 --> 00:55:03,413 Why don't we do this every night? 975 00:55:03,509 --> 00:55:06,342 You don't, um, miss the kids? 976 00:55:06,428 --> 00:55:08,168 What kids? 977 00:55:10,265 --> 00:55:12,881 Baby. =- hm? 978 00:55:12,976 --> 00:55:16,468 - Let's skip dinner. - Mm, it's cold now anyway. 979 00:55:16,563 --> 00:55:19,225 Yeah, but I'm not. 980 00:55:19,316 --> 00:55:21,352 Oh, c'est la vie! 981 00:56:13,871 --> 00:56:15,223 The ribs were delicious, you should have 982 00:56:15,247 --> 00:56:16,578 at least tasted them. 983 00:56:16,665 --> 00:56:17,905 Mm-hm. 984 00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:20,082 Shrimp cocktail and five Gibsons 985 00:56:20,168 --> 00:56:22,659 not a very well-balanced diet. 986 00:56:22,754 --> 00:56:25,166 I shouldn't have had the shrimp cocktail. 987 00:56:25,257 --> 00:56:27,122 You sure you won't have some coffee? 988 00:56:27,217 --> 00:56:29,048 I shouldn't have brought you here. 989 00:56:29,136 --> 00:56:31,843 Now, they don't have the most versatile wine cellar. 990 00:56:31,930 --> 00:56:33,511 Tom used to bring me here. 991 00:56:33,599 --> 00:56:34,930 Tom again. 992 00:56:35,017 --> 00:56:36,473 That dirty rat! 993 00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,040 So you've been telling me for an hour. 994 00:56:38,103 --> 00:56:40,139 I'm convinced. 995 00:56:40,230 --> 00:56:42,767 He'd never used to take me to expensive places, 996 00:56:42,858 --> 00:56:45,099 that dirty cheapskate! 997 00:56:45,193 --> 00:56:46,433 Hey, if your mascara runs, 998 00:56:46,528 --> 00:56:48,610 you're gonna discolor your vodka. 999 00:56:48,697 --> 00:56:50,608 You better be careful. 1000 00:56:52,868 --> 00:56:54,404 Excuse me. 1001 00:57:09,676 --> 00:57:11,883 - Miss Howard. - Has Tom been here already? 1002 00:57:11,970 --> 00:57:13,426 Tom jynson? No. Why should he... 1003 00:57:13,513 --> 00:57:14,798 Where's Dolores? 1004 00:57:14,890 --> 00:57:16,221 Oh, emergency face repair. 1005 00:57:16,308 --> 00:57:18,048 - Won't you sit down? - No, thank you. 1006 00:57:18,143 --> 00:57:19,974 Fortunately, I overheard your conversation 1007 00:57:20,062 --> 00:57:21,427 so I knew where to find you. 1008 00:57:21,521 --> 00:57:22,931 What happened? The house burn down? 1009 00:57:23,023 --> 00:57:25,230 No, but Tom is really, very angry. 1010 00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:28,024 Mrs. brown saw you and Dolores leaving together. 1011 00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:29,647 We could've used her at Pearl harbor. 1012 00:57:29,738 --> 00:57:31,444 So she promptly called him. 1013 00:57:31,531 --> 00:57:33,988 Now he's out scouting every restaurant in the area. 1014 00:57:34,076 --> 00:57:35,407 He's bound to come here. 1015 00:57:35,494 --> 00:57:36,721 Why doesn't he hire a detective? 1016 00:57:36,745 --> 00:57:38,201 Oh, he's talked about that. 1017 00:57:38,288 --> 00:57:40,370 He's determined to get something on Dolores. 1018 00:57:40,457 --> 00:57:42,539 - But why? - To keep the alimony down. 1019 00:57:42,626 --> 00:57:44,582 What else? Tom isn't a man. 1020 00:57:44,670 --> 00:57:46,126 He's a business machine. 1021 00:57:49,383 --> 00:57:51,840 It's Tom. Here comes old IBM now. 1022 00:57:58,976 --> 00:58:01,388 - Oh, hello, Tom. - Rosemary... 1023 00:58:01,478 --> 00:58:03,685 I thought you stayed away from Gibsons. 1024 00:58:03,772 --> 00:58:05,375 Good evening, Mr. jynson, won't you join us? 1025 00:58:05,399 --> 00:58:07,355 No, thank you. I'm looking for Dolores. 1026 00:58:07,442 --> 00:58:10,309 You going on your second honeymoon? 1027 00:58:10,404 --> 00:58:13,737 You didn't tell me you were going to dinner with Mr. Adams. 1028 00:58:13,824 --> 00:58:17,066 What I do outside the office is no one's business but my own. 1029 00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:18,900 Unfortunately, we were only discussing 1030 00:58:18,996 --> 00:58:20,702 miss Howard's business. 1031 00:58:20,789 --> 00:58:23,701 Oh, yes. Mr. Adams is thinking of extending his lease. 1032 00:58:23,792 --> 00:58:26,033 We may have to write up a new one. 1033 00:58:26,128 --> 00:58:27,709 Well, from what I hear, 1034 00:58:27,796 --> 00:58:30,128 you'd better add a morality clause. 1035 00:58:31,967 --> 00:58:33,423 Takes a real dirty mind 1036 00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:36,297 to believe everything Mrs. brown says. 1037 00:58:36,388 --> 00:58:37,699 Oh, now, wait a minute, miss Howard. 1038 00:58:37,723 --> 00:58:39,008 Mission accomplished. 1039 00:58:39,099 --> 00:58:40,739 And thanks, but I've been trying for weeks 1040 00:58:40,809 --> 00:58:42,912 to get you to have dinner with me. Now don't rush off. 1041 00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:45,018 - Will you have a Gibson? - I hate Gibsons. 1042 00:58:45,105 --> 00:58:46,425 Is there anything else you'd like? 1043 00:58:46,481 --> 00:58:48,312 Nothing, thanks, we're not allowed to drink 1044 00:58:48,400 --> 00:58:49,685 on rescue missions. 1045 00:58:49,776 --> 00:58:51,312 You're a real problem, you know. 1046 00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:53,564 Any girl who won't even split a chicken with me... 1047 00:58:53,655 --> 00:58:55,486 Well, I'm not sorry for you, Mr. Adams. 1048 00:58:55,574 --> 00:58:58,031 You certainly don't lack female companionship. 1049 00:58:58,118 --> 00:59:01,030 I only want to maintain peace in paradise. 1050 00:59:01,121 --> 00:59:02,736 Jack Adams! 1051 00:59:02,831 --> 00:59:04,992 The minute I leave the table! 1052 00:59:05,083 --> 00:59:07,165 Honestly, you men are all alike! 1053 00:59:07,252 --> 00:59:09,493 You can't trust any man! 1054 00:59:09,588 --> 00:59:13,001 Excuse me, miss Howard. 1055 00:59:13,091 --> 00:59:14,451 Well, I'd better explain it to her. 1056 00:59:14,509 --> 00:59:16,170 Yeah... 1057 00:59:17,679 --> 00:59:20,466 Waiter? Waiter? 1058 00:59:24,019 --> 00:59:26,305 Oh, Jacques. 1059 01:00:22,661 --> 01:00:25,573 Well. Hello. Come on in, miss Howard. 1060 01:00:25,664 --> 01:00:27,404 Would you feel safer if I came out? 1061 01:00:27,499 --> 01:00:29,205 Your discussion group will be here soon 1062 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:31,123 and there's safety in numbers. 1063 01:00:31,211 --> 01:00:34,453 Not if the numbers are 38-22-34. 1064 01:00:34,548 --> 01:00:36,129 Ooh, you flatter me. 1065 01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,047 What can I do for you this morning? 1066 01:00:38,135 --> 01:00:40,217 Keep away from Dolores jynson. 1067 01:00:40,303 --> 01:00:43,420 I don't intend to chase around, keeping you two out of trouble. 1068 01:00:43,515 --> 01:00:45,471 Trouble? Miss Howard, I'm a big boy now. 1069 01:00:45,559 --> 01:00:47,424 I shave and everything. 1070 01:00:47,519 --> 01:00:49,760 Mm, if Tom had caught you with Dolores, 1071 01:00:49,855 --> 01:00:52,312 you'd be in enough hot water to shave for a week. 1072 01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:54,936 He'd have filed a suit for divorce. 1073 01:00:55,026 --> 01:00:58,189 I have a financial interest in paradise village, Mr. Adams 1074 01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:00,271 and I don't want a scandal here. 1075 01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:03,823 That reminds me have you resumed work on paradise hills? 1076 01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:06,572 You know perfectly well we haven't. Why do you ask? 1077 01:01:06,663 --> 01:01:08,303 Well, you haven't found me a secretary yet 1078 01:01:08,331 --> 01:01:10,071 and the work's piling up. 1079 01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:12,123 I thought maybe you'd help me part-time? 1080 01:01:12,210 --> 01:01:14,451 - Me? Adam: You keep me outta trouble. 1081 01:01:14,546 --> 01:01:17,333 Besides you're the only one around here I can trust. 1082 01:01:17,424 --> 01:01:19,039 Why? 1083 01:01:19,134 --> 01:01:21,716 Well, it's the nature of my work. 1084 01:01:21,803 --> 01:01:23,668 What is the nature of your work? 1085 01:01:23,763 --> 01:01:25,719 Well, it's a series of reports. 1086 01:01:25,807 --> 01:01:27,638 Oh, government work? 1087 01:01:27,726 --> 01:01:30,092 As a matter of fact I am working for the government. 1088 01:01:30,187 --> 01:01:32,929 And it occurred to me, until you resume on paradise hills, 1089 01:01:33,023 --> 01:01:35,685 maybe you could help me out a few hours each evening. 1090 01:01:35,775 --> 01:01:38,482 Sorry. I don't like to work nights. 1091 01:01:38,570 --> 01:01:40,606 Please, wait. Let's discuss this a little more. 1092 01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:41,924 Well, there's nothing to discuss. 1093 01:01:41,948 --> 01:01:43,233 No, but I'd like to explain. 1094 01:01:43,325 --> 01:01:45,065 Why can't we do it over dinner? 1095 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:47,651 I've discovered a little place that not only fits my budget 1096 01:01:47,746 --> 01:01:49,737 but where the food's fit for the angels 1097 01:01:49,831 --> 01:01:52,447 and the drinks are fit for the gods. 1098 01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:57,460 Call me later. 1099 01:02:05,805 --> 01:02:08,672 Is he a bartender or a landscape architect? 1100 01:02:08,767 --> 01:02:11,304 He's an artist. Would you care for a scorpion's kiss? 1101 01:02:11,394 --> 01:02:12,622 Oh, is that what they're called? 1102 01:02:12,646 --> 01:02:14,102 Mm-hm. And this is a bikini. 1103 01:02:14,189 --> 01:02:16,976 Well, that's an odd name for a drink. Bikini? 1104 01:02:17,067 --> 01:02:18,544 That's because there's not much to it, 1105 01:02:18,568 --> 01:02:19,933 but it hits the right spots. 1106 01:02:20,028 --> 01:02:22,861 Oh. Well, I've had two and don't feel a thing. 1107 01:02:22,948 --> 01:02:24,484 Oh, we'd better get you another one. 1108 01:02:24,574 --> 01:02:26,986 Hey, innkeeper. Another brace of bikinis, please. 1109 01:02:27,077 --> 01:02:29,033 Sorry, sir. Only two to a customer. 1110 01:02:29,120 --> 01:02:31,281 - Oh, come on. - Sorry, ma'am. 1111 01:02:31,373 --> 01:02:32,954 That's a very powerful drink. 1112 01:02:33,041 --> 01:02:34,497 There's an old tahitian saying... 1113 01:02:37,504 --> 01:02:41,213 Oh. Just what did that old tahitian mean by that? 1114 01:02:41,299 --> 01:02:44,006 Who knows? I'm from San Francisco. 1115 01:02:44,094 --> 01:02:45,925 Loopholes everywhere. 1116 01:02:46,012 --> 01:02:48,970 - Your booth is ready, Mr. Adam. - Oh, thank you. 1117 01:02:49,057 --> 01:02:52,049 Will you send over a couple of scorpion's kisses, then? 1118 01:02:52,143 --> 01:02:53,883 Thank you. 1119 01:02:57,649 --> 01:03:00,231 Just make it the small scorpions. 1120 01:03:09,077 --> 01:03:10,487 Are you alright? 1121 01:03:10,578 --> 01:03:13,194 I'm fine, but why are you leaning? 1122 01:03:17,627 --> 01:03:19,333 Oh, that's better. 1123 01:03:19,421 --> 01:03:21,161 Now, sit up straight. 1124 01:03:24,509 --> 01:03:27,125 You know, this is really a very attractive restaurant. 1125 01:03:27,220 --> 01:03:29,836 Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't been here before? 1126 01:03:29,931 --> 01:03:34,049 Well, the atmosphere is hardly conducive to business. 1127 01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:35,884 Oh. 1128 01:03:35,979 --> 01:03:38,470 Is that all you ever discuss at dinner, business? 1129 01:03:38,565 --> 01:03:40,180 That's not what Dolores tells me. 1130 01:03:40,275 --> 01:03:42,561 Well, that's great. That's really great. 1131 01:03:42,652 --> 01:03:44,171 Tom thinks every time he turns his back, 1132 01:03:44,195 --> 01:03:47,028 she's out chasing after every other man. 1133 01:03:47,115 --> 01:03:48,980 Dolores loves Tom very much, 1134 01:03:49,075 --> 01:03:51,031 and we can help them, you and I. 1135 01:03:51,119 --> 01:03:53,701 There's just a breakdown in their communications. 1136 01:03:57,125 --> 01:03:58,831 Adam: What's so amusing? 1137 01:03:58,918 --> 01:04:01,625 Oh, Tom thinks our paradise bachelor 1138 01:04:01,713 --> 01:04:03,749 is such a dangerous man... 1139 01:04:03,840 --> 01:04:06,627 A satyr running rampant in a harem. 1140 01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:10,552 Now you turn out to be dear Abby in britches. 1141 01:04:30,283 --> 01:04:33,366 Oh, I didn't know you were so talented. 1142 01:04:33,453 --> 01:04:36,160 There are lot of things you don't know about me, Mr. Adams. 1143 01:04:36,247 --> 01:04:39,535 I can sail a boat, upholster furniture, 1144 01:04:39,626 --> 01:04:42,789 skin-dive for abalone, bake strudel, 1145 01:04:42,879 --> 01:04:45,916 know the names of all 50 states and their capitals, 1146 01:04:46,007 --> 01:04:48,464 and I play a mean piano, 1147 01:04:48,551 --> 01:04:51,258 among other things. 1148 01:04:51,346 --> 01:04:53,712 Let me hear little more about the other things. 1149 01:05:13,368 --> 01:05:14,858 Come dance with kuminaw. 1150 01:05:14,953 --> 01:05:16,614 No, honey. You're one bikini late. 1151 01:05:16,704 --> 01:05:18,474 I couldn't stand... No, no, I'd have to take a pill. 1152 01:05:18,498 --> 01:05:20,739 I couldn't. No. It makes me seasick. 1153 01:05:20,834 --> 01:05:22,790 I couldn't. No. I really... 1154 01:05:22,877 --> 01:05:24,617 I know, but you... 1155 01:06:10,675 --> 01:06:13,087 “It's a strange paradox that the American woman, 1156 01:06:13,178 --> 01:06:15,281 who lives in a world where the bachelor and the spinster 1157 01:06:15,305 --> 01:06:17,546 meet disapproval and discrimination 1158 01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:20,632 and therefore can be satisfied with nothing but marriage, 1159 01:06:20,727 --> 01:06:23,218 finds so much discontent, restlessness, 1160 01:06:23,313 --> 01:06:25,178 and boredom in the marital state. 1161 01:06:25,273 --> 01:06:28,765 Seeking relief from the burdens of domesticity..." 1162 01:06:28,860 --> 01:06:30,600 Excuse me, Jack. = mm-hm. 1163 01:06:30,695 --> 01:06:32,965 Would it be alright if Camille went red, instead of black? 1164 01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:34,320 Why red? 1165 01:06:34,407 --> 01:06:35,551 Well, Leland's crazy about Susan hayward, 1166 01:06:35,575 --> 01:06:37,065 and she's a redhead. 1167 01:06:37,160 --> 01:06:38,929 Now, he tells you he's crazy about Susan hayward 1168 01:06:38,953 --> 01:06:41,535 that's so you won't know how he really feels about lollobrigida. 1169 01:06:41,623 --> 01:06:42,988 - Oh! - See? Come on. 1170 01:06:43,082 --> 01:06:45,573 I'll give you a hand. = yeah. 1171 01:06:45,668 --> 01:06:47,624 "She exercises much imagination, 1172 01:06:47,712 --> 01:06:49,122 frequently through group projects 1173 01:06:49,214 --> 01:06:50,829 that will, in some way, stimulate her." 1174 01:06:54,344 --> 01:06:55,834 Larry, is that you, honey? 1175 01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:01,965 Well? 1176 01:07:05,063 --> 01:07:07,475 - Take it off. - Take what off? 1177 01:07:07,565 --> 01:07:10,307 That hideous wig. Take it off. 1178 01:07:10,401 --> 01:07:14,064 Alright. Alright, it's not hideous. 1179 01:07:14,155 --> 01:07:16,191 Only, take it off. 1180 01:07:16,282 --> 01:07:18,523 Oh, Larry. 1181 01:07:18,618 --> 01:07:22,736 It isn't... it's not a wig. 1182 01:07:22,830 --> 01:07:25,242 You mean you dyed it that color? 1183 01:07:25,333 --> 01:07:26,994 Yes. 1184 01:07:38,471 --> 01:07:40,803 Just wasn't coming up to speed, that's all. 1185 01:07:40,890 --> 01:07:42,243 Hey, where'd you learn electronics? 1186 01:07:42,267 --> 01:07:43,632 It's simple mechanics. 1187 01:07:43,726 --> 01:07:45,933 This isn't the first machine I've repaired. 1188 01:07:46,020 --> 01:07:47,931 Now let's see if it will work. 1189 01:07:51,109 --> 01:07:52,565 Well? 1190 01:07:58,366 --> 01:08:00,402 You're doing this for the government? 1191 01:08:00,493 --> 01:08:02,484 Well, they can hardly wait for it to come out. 1192 01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:07,530 Sounds like something a.J. Niles might write. 1193 01:08:09,544 --> 01:08:11,830 Look, I trust you. I can tell you the truth, Rosemary. 1194 01:08:11,921 --> 01:08:13,707 I didn't have a dime and Mr. palfrey came up 1195 01:08:13,798 --> 01:08:15,038 with this idea. 1196 01:08:15,133 --> 01:08:16,543 - What idea? - A book like niles'. 1197 01:08:16,634 --> 01:08:17,794 Only about America. 1198 01:08:17,885 --> 01:08:19,045 While a.J.'S in France 1199 01:08:19,137 --> 01:08:20,718 I came out here to do this one. 1200 01:08:20,805 --> 01:08:22,636 Palfrey thinks there's a mint in it. 1201 01:08:22,724 --> 01:08:24,385 Where does the government come in? 1202 01:08:24,475 --> 01:08:26,181 They're waiting for the mint. 1203 01:08:26,269 --> 01:08:27,634 Oh. 1204 01:08:31,190 --> 01:08:33,806 Know something? This is better than a.J. Niles. 1205 01:08:33,901 --> 01:08:37,109 Thank you. 1206 01:08:37,196 --> 01:08:38,481 What are you gonna do? 1207 01:08:38,573 --> 01:08:40,814 Taking it to the office to transcribe it. 1208 01:08:40,908 --> 01:08:42,648 - I can't work here. - Why not? 1209 01:08:42,744 --> 01:08:44,655 It's quiet here. We can concentrate. 1210 01:08:44,746 --> 01:08:46,657 Mm. That's what I'm afraid of. 1211 01:08:46,748 --> 01:08:49,490 Afraid? I'm a pussycat. 1212 01:08:49,584 --> 01:08:51,074 From the gossip around here, 1213 01:08:51,169 --> 01:08:52,784 you're a tomcat. 1214 01:08:52,879 --> 01:08:55,086 Me? You, of all people, know... 1215 01:08:55,173 --> 01:08:57,038 Now, look, there's been enough talk. 1216 01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:58,748 Why give them more fuel? 1217 01:08:58,843 --> 01:09:01,550 Every husband on Katarina street is talking about you. 1218 01:09:01,638 --> 01:09:03,574 Are you sure you don't want them talking about you? 1219 01:09:03,598 --> 01:09:06,465 Well, they've already talked about me, and Dolores, 1220 01:09:06,559 --> 01:09:08,299 and every other woman in the neighborhood. 1221 01:09:08,394 --> 01:09:10,726 Tsk, tsk. Aristotle said the high-minded man 1222 01:09:10,813 --> 01:09:13,646 is more interested in the truth than in what people believe. 1223 01:09:13,733 --> 01:09:15,519 And are you so high-minded? 1224 01:09:15,610 --> 01:09:16,930 Well I do think I've been behaving 1225 01:09:16,986 --> 01:09:18,817 in the most exemplary manner. 1226 01:09:18,905 --> 01:09:20,736 Do you realize I haven't even been kissed 1227 01:09:20,823 --> 01:09:22,404 since I moved in here? 1228 01:09:22,492 --> 01:09:25,734 No? I mean, no, I didn't realize. 1229 01:09:25,828 --> 01:09:27,864 Well it's some sort of a record for me. 1230 01:09:29,332 --> 01:09:31,448 Oh, Rosemary, I'm sorry. 1231 01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,328 That's alright, Linda. I was leaving anyway. 1232 01:09:33,419 --> 01:09:35,000 You were? 1233 01:09:35,088 --> 01:09:36,607 I know it's terribly gauche of me to burst in this way, 1234 01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:37,996 but it's an emergency. 1235 01:09:38,091 --> 01:09:40,127 It's Larry. I don't know what to do. 1236 01:09:40,218 --> 01:09:41,924 What have you done to your hair? 1237 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:43,717 You see? 1238 01:09:43,805 --> 01:09:45,966 Larry's tone was positively menacing. 1239 01:09:46,057 --> 01:09:47,422 He walked out on me. 1240 01:09:47,517 --> 01:09:49,382 He says he's going to get drunk. 1241 01:09:49,477 --> 01:09:51,968 Well that isn't fatal, you know, it might be an improvement. 1242 01:09:52,063 --> 01:09:54,429 But I promised Donna to come over tonight. 1243 01:09:54,524 --> 01:09:56,060 - Go without him. - And leave the boys? 1244 01:09:56,150 --> 01:09:58,641 How can I? Larry promised to stay with 'em. 1245 01:09:58,736 --> 01:10:00,476 Donna's my sister, ll can't tell her 1246 01:10:00,571 --> 01:10:02,061 Larry's walked out and left me. 1247 01:10:02,156 --> 01:10:04,488 You know how families are. 1248 01:10:04,575 --> 01:10:06,190 Why don't you stay with the boys? 1249 01:10:06,285 --> 01:10:08,196 Yeah. Me babysit? 1250 01:10:08,287 --> 01:10:10,573 - Well, you started it. - Yes. 1251 01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:13,327 So will you help me, Jack? Will you be an angel... 1252 01:10:13,418 --> 01:10:16,251 The kids are asleep. There's nothing to do, really. 1253 01:10:16,337 --> 01:10:18,273 And if I go over there, you can stay here and work. 1254 01:10:18,297 --> 01:10:19,983 Well, I guess there's nothing wrong with that. 1255 01:10:20,007 --> 01:10:22,544 Oh, Jack. Mmm! You're a Saint. 1256 01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:26,752 There goes my record. 1257 01:10:30,852 --> 01:10:32,558 "What young parents without help 1258 01:10:32,645 --> 01:10:35,808 did before there were babysitters is unclear. 1259 01:10:35,898 --> 01:10:37,889 There's no evidence to..." 1260 01:10:37,984 --> 01:10:41,568 - You're supposed to be asleep. - I'm hungry. 1261 01:10:41,654 --> 01:10:44,066 Well, what can I get for you? =a sammich. 1262 01:10:44,157 --> 01:10:46,614 A sammich? What kind of sammich? 1263 01:10:46,701 --> 01:10:49,238 A pickle and peanut butter sammich. 1264 01:10:49,328 --> 01:10:50,818 Pickle and peanut butter. 1265 01:10:52,749 --> 01:10:54,660 You're not interested in growing up, huh? 1266 01:10:56,586 --> 01:10:58,122 See? You woke your kid brother up. 1267 01:10:58,212 --> 01:11:00,999 No, I didn't. He woke hisself up. 1268 01:11:01,090 --> 01:11:02,455 Shh. 1269 01:11:07,555 --> 01:11:08,965 Well... 1270 01:11:10,725 --> 01:11:13,216 Well, how long you in for, Stevie? 1271 01:11:13,311 --> 01:11:15,643 I'm Stevie! 1272 01:11:15,730 --> 01:11:17,436 He's Dougie! 1273 01:11:17,523 --> 01:11:19,184 Oh, oh. 1274 01:11:19,275 --> 01:11:21,231 Well, come on. Let me spring you. 1275 01:11:21,319 --> 01:11:23,310 Come on, doll. Come on. 1276 01:11:23,404 --> 01:11:25,986 You don't have to cry. You... 1277 01:11:26,073 --> 01:11:27,984 Uh-oh. High tide. 1278 01:11:36,250 --> 01:11:37,365 Aw! 1279 01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:01,223 - Why, Larry. - Where's Adams? 1280 01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:04,059 - Well, he's not here. - Don't kid me, miss Howard. 1281 01:12:04,153 --> 01:12:06,235 You women are all alike, aren't you? 1282 01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:07,778 Stick up for him. 1283 01:12:07,865 --> 01:12:10,823 What's he got, anyway? And where is he? 1284 01:12:10,910 --> 01:12:14,277 As a matter of actual fact, Mr. delavane, he's next door 1285 01:12:14,372 --> 01:12:16,863 at your house performing a duty you have neglected. 1286 01:12:16,958 --> 01:12:20,792 I catch you, and you try to wriggle out of it 1287 01:12:20,878 --> 01:12:23,164 by accusing my wife of unbecoming conduct? 1288 01:12:23,256 --> 01:12:24,917 - No. - I'm not accusing Linda... 1289 01:12:25,007 --> 01:12:28,465 - Rosemary, can you... - So there you are! Ha! 1290 01:12:29,887 --> 01:12:31,752 You're just as bad as he is... Worse! 1291 01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:35,807 Trying to make me suspect my poor little wife when it's you 1292 01:12:35,893 --> 01:12:38,225 who've been hanky-pankying around 1293 01:12:38,312 --> 01:12:40,473 with this... 1294 01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:42,726 This bachelor! 1295 01:12:48,698 --> 01:12:50,108 Well, he's drunk. 1296 01:12:50,199 --> 01:12:51,985 Yeah, maybe he can change the kid's diapers. 1297 01:12:52,076 --> 01:12:53,941 I doubt it. He's headed in the other direction. 1298 01:12:54,036 --> 01:12:55,931 I don't blame him. Say, come on. Help me, will you? 1299 01:12:55,955 --> 01:12:57,391 I don't know anything about this stuff. 1300 01:12:57,415 --> 01:12:58,642 Wait a minute, what makes you think I do? 1301 01:12:58,666 --> 01:12:59,997 Well, you're a woman. 1302 01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:02,291 Oh, gender is no license for knowledge. 1303 01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:04,058 After some of the remarks you've made about 1304 01:13:04,088 --> 01:13:05,874 American spinsters on that tape... 1305 01:13:05,965 --> 01:13:07,245 Yeah, we can discuss that later. 1306 01:13:07,300 --> 01:13:08,836 Next door, there's a waterlogged kid 1307 01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:11,133 going down for the third time. Come on. Help me. 1308 01:13:19,186 --> 01:13:21,598 Does the board of health know about this place? 1309 01:13:21,689 --> 01:13:24,396 - What are you doing? - Fixing a sammich for Dougie. 1310 01:13:24,483 --> 01:13:28,522 - Where is he? - Under the table. 1311 01:13:28,613 --> 01:13:31,605 Hey! Hey, come on out of there. 1312 01:13:31,699 --> 01:13:33,940 What... What happened to your diaper? 1313 01:13:34,035 --> 01:13:35,491 They slitched off. 1314 01:13:35,578 --> 01:13:37,239 - Yeah? - Here, let me take him. 1315 01:13:37,330 --> 01:13:39,787 Oh... boy. 1316 01:13:39,874 --> 01:13:42,411 With this kid, Linda doesn't need a garbage grinder. 1317 01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:49,463 Here we are. 1318 01:13:49,550 --> 01:13:51,586 There. You go get some dry diapers. 1319 01:13:51,677 --> 01:13:53,258 Aren't you suppose to powder him first? 1320 01:13:53,346 --> 01:13:55,086 No. You oil them first. 1321 01:13:55,181 --> 01:13:58,048 Oil? This kid hasn't done a thousand miles yet. 1322 01:13:58,142 --> 01:14:00,975 Here. You do it, and I'll get the dry diapers. Hold him. 1323 01:14:01,062 --> 01:14:03,018 And I'll put Stevie in the other bedroom. 1324 01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:13,696 Isn't that good? Is that refreshing? 1325 01:14:17,995 --> 01:14:19,906 Here you are. 1326 01:14:19,997 --> 01:14:21,328 Ahh! 1327 01:14:24,835 --> 01:14:26,917 You're the sweetest smelling. 1328 01:14:34,553 --> 01:14:36,760 That's alright, baby. Everything will be alright. 1329 01:14:36,847 --> 01:14:38,803 And if she wants to dye her hair, 1330 01:14:38,891 --> 01:14:42,179 what's the big deal, anyway? 1331 01:14:42,269 --> 01:14:45,557 What do you say we go tell her, old uncle John, okay? 1332 01:14:48,693 --> 01:14:50,479 Not enough oil. 1333 01:14:50,569 --> 01:14:52,560 I couldn't find the diapers, but... 1334 01:14:52,655 --> 01:14:54,441 What are you doing? 1335 01:14:54,532 --> 01:14:57,194 Well, let's face it. I'm a lousy mother. 1336 01:14:57,284 --> 01:15:00,196 Oh, go get another towel. I'll clean him up. 1337 01:15:00,287 --> 01:15:02,494 Oh, Dougie. 1338 01:15:02,581 --> 01:15:03,787 Ooh! 1339 01:15:03,874 --> 01:15:05,410 Yeah, wait. 1340 01:15:05,501 --> 01:15:07,366 Come on. Come on. Let's sit you up. 1341 01:15:07,461 --> 01:15:08,871 Let's sit up. There. 1342 01:15:15,845 --> 01:15:19,884 How about this one? = yeah. Give me one for here. 1343 01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:21,510 Yeah. 1344 01:15:21,600 --> 01:15:23,841 Well, I think that should do it. 1345 01:15:23,936 --> 01:15:27,520 Well, come on. There, huh? 1346 01:15:27,606 --> 01:15:29,526 He'll never get out of that unless he has friends 1347 01:15:29,567 --> 01:15:31,307 oh the outside. 1348 01:15:37,408 --> 01:15:39,273 Mrs. delavane! 1349 01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:45,071 Mrs. delavane! Aha! 1350 01:15:45,166 --> 01:15:46,952 - Aha what? - You are in my house. 1351 01:15:47,043 --> 01:15:48,499 Of course I'm in your house. 1352 01:15:48,586 --> 01:15:50,998 Miss Howard wasn't lying about you and Linda. 1353 01:15:51,088 --> 01:15:53,295 - Oh, stop it. - Put "em up. 1354 01:15:53,382 --> 01:15:55,213 Put 'em up. I'm gonna knock your eyebrows. 1355 01:15:55,301 --> 01:15:57,383 I couldn't go two rounds with your breath. 1356 01:15:57,470 --> 01:16:00,177 Whoop. 1357 01:16:00,264 --> 01:16:01,629 I won the first fall. 1358 01:16:01,724 --> 01:16:04,215 Quiet, you two. The boys are trying to sleep. 1359 01:16:04,310 --> 01:16:07,973 Oh! My wife isn't good enough for you, huh? 1360 01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:10,680 You got to have another woman, too. 1361 01:16:13,069 --> 01:16:15,185 Well, there's another one to put to bed. 1362 01:16:15,279 --> 01:16:17,019 Yeah, but he's already oiled. 1363 01:16:19,283 --> 01:16:21,569 "Causing unrest and disharmony, 1364 01:16:21,660 --> 01:16:24,618 apart from entertaining married and unmarried women 1365 01:16:24,705 --> 01:16:27,412 in flagrant violation of all standards 1366 01:16:27,500 --> 01:16:29,331 of decency and morality. 1367 01:16:29,418 --> 01:16:31,124 The undersigned therefore demand 1368 01:16:31,212 --> 01:16:32,918 that paradise village incorporated, 1369 01:16:33,005 --> 01:16:36,714 remove the above-named undesirable tenant immediately." 1370 01:16:36,801 --> 01:16:40,259 And it's signed by every husband on katherina street. 1371 01:16:40,346 --> 01:16:42,132 But not one of their wives. 1372 01:16:42,223 --> 01:16:45,511 Don't tell me he has gotten to you, too, Rosemary. 1373 01:16:45,601 --> 01:16:47,557 Oh, you don't believe that rot! 1374 01:16:47,645 --> 01:16:49,260 These gentlemen believe it. 1375 01:16:49,355 --> 01:16:51,471 Aristotle said the high-minded man 1376 01:16:51,565 --> 01:16:53,180 is more interested in the truth 1377 01:16:53,275 --> 01:16:54,560 than in what people believe. 1378 01:16:54,652 --> 01:16:57,234 Aristotle does not live in paradise, 1379 01:16:57,321 --> 01:17:00,654 and I am not going to antagonize the people who do. 1380 01:17:00,741 --> 01:17:03,323 Rosemary, I want Jack Adams out of your house 1381 01:17:03,410 --> 01:17:05,275 and I want him out fast. 1382 01:17:05,371 --> 01:17:06,577 No, Tom. 1383 01:17:06,664 --> 01:17:07,864 I am not going to put him out, 1384 01:17:07,915 --> 01:17:09,121 not for you or anybody. 1385 01:17:09,208 --> 01:17:11,745 Are you disobeying me? 1386 01:17:11,836 --> 01:17:14,327 This is not the marine corps, major jynson. 1387 01:17:14,421 --> 01:17:18,539 No. This is paradise, and I'm in command here. 1388 01:17:18,634 --> 01:17:21,546 You will do what I say, or you're through... 1389 01:17:21,637 --> 01:17:23,093 Fired. 1390 01:17:23,180 --> 01:17:24,761 I'm sorry, Tom. 1391 01:17:26,433 --> 01:17:28,344 Truly sorry! 1392 01:17:39,071 --> 01:17:41,153 Well, come in. 1393 01:17:41,240 --> 01:17:43,652 You're a little early. 1394 01:17:43,742 --> 01:17:46,074 How would you like a full-time secretary? 1395 01:17:46,162 --> 01:17:48,824 What red-blooded American boy wouldn't? What happened? 1396 01:17:48,914 --> 01:17:52,122 I'm no longer an employee of paradise village inc. 1397 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:53,995 - You quit? - I did. 1398 01:17:54,086 --> 01:17:56,327 I won't work for any man after he fires me. 1399 01:17:56,422 --> 01:17:58,879 Well, I admire your spirit, among other things. 1400 01:17:58,966 --> 01:18:00,376 How'd it happen? 1401 01:18:00,467 --> 01:18:03,209 Oh, a matter of business policy. We didn't agree. 1402 01:18:03,304 --> 01:18:04,794 Well, we don't always agree, either, 1403 01:18:04,889 --> 01:18:06,720 but you're exactly the person I need, 1404 01:18:06,807 --> 01:18:09,173 to help me with my research. 1405 01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:11,179 - What kind of research? - Well, don't worry. 1406 01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:13,386 I'll push your desk up against the wall. 1407 01:18:13,480 --> 01:18:16,347 I couldn't chase you around it even if I wanted to. 1408 01:18:16,442 --> 01:18:18,433 If I worried I wouldn't be here. 1409 01:18:18,527 --> 01:18:20,438 Just don't ask me to stay after working hours. 1410 01:18:20,529 --> 01:18:23,236 - Agreed? - Agreed, under protest. 1411 01:18:23,324 --> 01:18:24,564 Now, let me see. 1412 01:18:24,658 --> 01:18:26,774 You'll be my landlady and secretary. 1413 01:18:26,869 --> 01:18:28,734 And I'll be your tenant and your boss. 1414 01:18:28,829 --> 01:18:30,569 A very involved relationship. 1415 01:18:30,664 --> 01:18:33,576 And if you raise my rent, I'll lower your salary. 1416 01:18:33,667 --> 01:18:37,626 You lower my salary, and I'll raise my voice. 1417 01:18:37,713 --> 01:18:39,874 Announcer: Comes to the plate with a curve ball. 1418 01:18:39,965 --> 01:18:42,251 In for a strike. 0 and 1. 1419 01:18:42,343 --> 01:18:43,753 Ripley checking his signs. 1420 01:18:43,844 --> 01:18:45,675 Now the big right-hander ready again. 1421 01:18:45,763 --> 01:18:47,253 Ripley comes back to the plate. 1422 01:18:47,348 --> 01:18:49,009 Palufski swings, and gets ahold of it. 1423 01:18:49,099 --> 01:18:51,681 There's a long drive to deep left-center. 1424 01:18:51,769 --> 01:18:53,259 Back goes smitty, a-way back, 1425 01:18:53,354 --> 01:18:54,969 and she is gone. 1426 01:18:55,064 --> 01:18:59,603 It's a brand-new ball game... Three and three. 1427 01:18:59,693 --> 01:19:01,604 Well, before the biggest crowd of the year, 1428 01:19:01,695 --> 01:19:03,606 seventy five thousand here at the stadium, 1429 01:19:03,697 --> 01:19:05,858 the bears have come back with a run in the seventh 1430 01:19:05,950 --> 01:19:07,986 to tie, three and three. 1431 01:19:08,077 --> 01:19:10,944 For palufski, his 17th home run of the year. 1432 01:19:11,038 --> 01:19:13,495 And his 51st rbi. 1433 01:19:13,582 --> 01:19:15,222 Now let's find out if Dillon is coming up. 1434 01:19:15,292 --> 01:19:16,907 Jerry, is that Dillon coming out? 1435 01:19:17,002 --> 01:19:19,118 Jerry: No. That's monty Brice... 1436 01:19:19,213 --> 01:19:22,922 Monty Brice is hitting 287 so far this season. 1437 01:19:23,008 --> 01:19:24,794 Never mind monty Brice. Take a note. 1438 01:19:26,929 --> 01:19:29,841 "Americans are so accustomed to being told everything, 1439 01:19:29,932 --> 01:19:31,547 even at ball games, 1440 01:19:31,642 --> 01:19:32,973 they bring their radios 1441 01:19:33,060 --> 01:19:34,425 so the announcer can explain 1442 01:19:34,520 --> 01:19:36,306 what they're seeing." 1443 01:19:36,397 --> 01:19:39,889 Announcer: And the fastball swung on and fouled away. 1444 01:19:39,984 --> 01:19:42,691 Our guess would be about 75,000 people here. 1445 01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:46,145 I wonder what idiot caught that. 1446 01:19:46,240 --> 01:19:48,093 Announcer: They would have torn the roof off for sure 1447 01:19:48,117 --> 01:19:49,857 on the home run by palufski. 1448 01:20:17,187 --> 01:20:19,929 They tell me 20 million American women have taken this up. 1449 01:20:20,024 --> 01:20:22,265 Sure. To get rid of their aggressions. 1450 01:20:28,741 --> 01:20:31,232 Adams: Yeah. Oh, yes. 1451 01:20:34,913 --> 01:20:36,119 You know, those aren't pins. 1452 01:20:36,206 --> 01:20:38,822 Those are 20 million American men. 1453 01:20:49,261 --> 01:20:50,876 The cleaners returned your grey suit. 1454 01:20:50,971 --> 01:20:53,053 - I hung it in the closet. - Oh, thanks. 1455 01:20:53,140 --> 01:20:54,367 Oh, and I brought your shirts back. 1456 01:20:54,391 --> 01:20:56,052 They're in the second drawer. 1457 01:20:58,395 --> 01:21:00,852 The laundry puts a razor edge on the collars. 1458 01:21:00,939 --> 01:21:03,396 I don't want my boss decapitated 1459 01:21:03,484 --> 01:21:05,099 even if he has a spare. 1460 01:21:09,073 --> 01:21:10,953 Hey, you worried about your boss or your tenant? 1461 01:21:11,033 --> 01:21:13,399 - Jack, please. - Why not? 1462 01:21:13,494 --> 01:21:15,388 It's time you acknowledge men and women are different 1463 01:21:15,412 --> 01:21:16,993 even in America. 1464 01:21:17,081 --> 01:21:19,072 This arrangement of ours is difficult enough. 1465 01:21:19,166 --> 01:21:21,748 - Don't make it impossible. - You're making it impossible. 1466 01:21:21,835 --> 01:21:23,871 I want to make it very possible. 1467 01:21:23,962 --> 01:21:26,749 A little cooperation, and it could be fun. 1468 01:21:26,840 --> 01:21:29,923 No woman really wants to make love platonically, 1469 01:21:30,010 --> 01:21:31,466 just for fun. 1470 01:21:31,553 --> 01:21:33,965 Then I've met some great pretenders. 1471 01:21:34,056 --> 01:21:36,593 I'm sure lot of women have fallen in love with you. 1472 01:21:36,683 --> 01:21:39,595 And if they have, they wanted something more than... 1473 01:21:39,686 --> 01:21:42,098 Well, merely an affair. 1474 01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:43,679 For instance? 1475 01:21:43,774 --> 01:21:47,187 Oh, a home, security, permanence. 1476 01:21:47,277 --> 01:21:48,892 You know a wise man once wrote 1477 01:21:48,987 --> 01:21:51,444 that a man wants to be a woman's first love, 1478 01:21:51,532 --> 01:21:53,864 but women have a more subtle instinct. 1479 01:21:53,951 --> 01:21:56,112 They want to be sure they're a man's last. 1480 01:21:57,955 --> 01:21:59,491 Let's eat. 1481 01:22:03,043 --> 01:22:05,455 Jack... =-hmmm? 1482 01:22:05,546 --> 01:22:07,832 Have you been a bachelor all your life? 1483 01:22:07,923 --> 01:22:10,790 Mm, I was engaged once at the age of seven, 1484 01:22:10,884 --> 01:22:12,237 but what I thought were the pangs of love 1485 01:22:12,261 --> 01:22:13,751 turned out to be measles. 1486 01:22:13,846 --> 01:22:16,462 Silly. 1487 01:22:16,557 --> 01:22:19,549 Then there's a chance that some poor girl may marry you? 1488 01:22:19,643 --> 01:22:21,304 A rich girl would have a better chance. 1489 01:22:23,105 --> 01:22:24,811 Rosemary: But have you ever been in love? 1490 01:22:24,898 --> 01:22:26,889 Never. Have you? 1491 01:22:26,984 --> 01:22:29,771 Once... I thought. 1492 01:22:29,862 --> 01:22:31,944 No. I take that back. 1493 01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:33,315 I really was. 1494 01:22:33,407 --> 01:22:35,318 Adam: What makes you sure? 1495 01:22:35,409 --> 01:22:37,491 What makes you sure you never were? 1496 01:22:37,578 --> 01:22:39,034 Well, I planned it that way. 1497 01:22:39,121 --> 01:22:41,237 I had a very smart father who prepared me for life 1498 01:22:41,331 --> 01:22:44,038 at a very early age with a splendid piece of advice. 1499 01:22:44,126 --> 01:22:45,662 Rosemary: Would you care to share it? 1500 01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:47,708 He said "be careful of what you put your heart 1501 01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:49,502 and your money into." 1502 01:22:49,590 --> 01:22:52,047 Your father told you that? 1503 01:22:52,134 --> 01:22:54,295 Right after my mom told it to him. 1504 01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:56,877 That's funny. 1505 01:23:00,809 --> 01:23:03,266 - Hi. - Oh, hi. 1506 01:23:03,353 --> 01:23:05,014 - Where's Rosemary? - Well, she's gone. 1507 01:23:05,105 --> 01:23:08,222 - It's after 6 o'clock. - I wanted to talk to you alone. 1508 01:23:08,317 --> 01:23:11,059 I had to. It's about Larry. 1509 01:23:11,153 --> 01:23:13,314 He hasn't said a word to me for days. 1510 01:23:13,405 --> 01:23:15,300 But why? You've dyed your hair back, haven't you? 1511 01:23:15,324 --> 01:23:18,157 But he's still suspicious. = of me? 1512 01:23:18,243 --> 01:23:20,484 You see, it's your reputation, Jack. 1513 01:23:20,579 --> 01:23:23,821 Everybody thinks that... = thinks what? 1514 01:23:23,916 --> 01:23:26,157 Well, that you're having affairs with all of us... 1515 01:23:26,251 --> 01:23:28,833 Me, Camille, Dolores, Rosemary! 1516 01:23:28,921 --> 01:23:31,754 Really? That should qualify me for the olympic team. 1517 01:23:31,840 --> 01:23:34,422 Don't joke about it. They've written everything down. 1518 01:23:34,510 --> 01:23:36,796 Oh, good. We'll make an Italian movie out of it. 1519 01:23:36,887 --> 01:23:38,969 They even sent in that petition. 1520 01:23:39,056 --> 01:23:40,262 What petition? 1521 01:23:40,349 --> 01:23:42,305 To Tom jynson, to have you evicted, 1522 01:23:42,392 --> 01:23:44,383 only Rosemary wouldn't do it. 1523 01:23:44,478 --> 01:23:45,888 Are you sure about this, Linda? 1524 01:23:45,979 --> 01:23:49,642 Positive. Leland quinlaw and my Larry started it. 1525 01:23:49,733 --> 01:23:51,573 All the husbands in the neighborhood signed it, 1526 01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:52,732 and... 1527 01:23:54,029 --> 01:23:55,235 What's that? 1528 01:23:55,322 --> 01:23:56,732 Something's burning. 1529 01:23:56,823 --> 01:23:58,359 It's the oven. 1530 01:24:05,999 --> 01:24:07,455 My ready-mix cake. 1531 01:24:09,336 --> 01:24:13,454 Hope smokey the bear doesn't hear about this. 1532 01:24:13,549 --> 01:24:14,880 Jack! 1533 01:24:16,093 --> 01:24:17,879 Jack? = out here! 1534 01:24:20,347 --> 01:24:22,588 - Well, what's so urgent? - Sit down, Rosemary. 1535 01:24:22,683 --> 01:24:24,389 I wanna ask you something. 1536 01:24:24,476 --> 01:24:26,182 Why couldn't you ask me on the phone? 1537 01:24:26,270 --> 01:24:29,387 Well, I want to see your face when you answer it. 1538 01:24:29,481 --> 01:24:31,187 - Well... - Honey. 1539 01:24:31,275 --> 01:24:33,461 I know this isn't the first time you've tried to protect me, 1540 01:24:33,485 --> 01:24:35,350 and I'm deeply touched, 1541 01:24:35,445 --> 01:24:38,403 but you should have told me about the petition. 1542 01:24:38,490 --> 01:24:40,196 Oh, what good would it have done? 1543 01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:41,884 I could have spared you and everyone else 1544 01:24:41,952 --> 01:24:43,032 a lot of trouble. 1545 01:24:43,120 --> 01:24:45,862 - How? - By moving out. 1546 01:24:45,956 --> 01:24:47,537 Leaving paradise? 1547 01:24:47,624 --> 01:24:49,990 I should think you'd be glad to get rid of me. 1548 01:24:50,085 --> 01:24:53,703 Oh, no. I mean, what about your book? 1549 01:24:53,797 --> 01:24:55,628 I've got enough material for six books 1550 01:24:55,716 --> 01:24:58,674 if I wanna use it. 1551 01:24:58,760 --> 01:25:00,842 Oh, Jack, please. I... 1552 01:25:00,929 --> 01:25:03,762 I just don't want to get hopelessly involved. 1553 01:25:03,849 --> 01:25:05,635 You're a little late. You already are. 1554 01:25:05,726 --> 01:25:07,057 So aml. 1555 01:25:07,144 --> 01:25:08,680 Why don't you come with me? 1556 01:25:08,770 --> 01:25:10,306 With you? Where? 1557 01:25:10,397 --> 01:25:13,764 Anywhere. I need you, and you need me. 1558 01:25:13,859 --> 01:25:15,941 We've both lived alone long enough. 1559 01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:17,564 And what's the advantage? 1560 01:25:17,654 --> 01:25:19,610 A tube of toothpaste lasts twice as long, 1561 01:25:19,698 --> 01:25:22,360 that's all you can say for it. 1562 01:25:22,451 --> 01:25:24,316 But there's just one problem, 1563 01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:26,618 a matter of social convention. 1564 01:25:26,705 --> 01:25:29,367 I can't very well ask you to marry me. 1565 01:25:29,458 --> 01:25:31,995 But we understand each other. Why complicate things? 1566 01:25:32,085 --> 01:25:35,998 But we can't. I can't, not this way. 1567 01:25:36,089 --> 01:25:38,000 I found that out a long time ago. 1568 01:25:38,091 --> 01:25:39,581 But this is different, darling. 1569 01:25:39,676 --> 01:25:42,133 We're both being completely honest with each other. 1570 01:25:44,348 --> 01:25:46,885 Which means you don't want to ask me to marry you. 1571 01:25:46,975 --> 01:25:48,465 I haven't the nerve. 1572 01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:51,176 I'd be a real heel if I did. 1573 01:25:51,271 --> 01:25:54,354 You know what you'd be getting for a husband? Just roughly? 1574 01:25:54,441 --> 01:25:56,227 A man who's been a bachelor all his life, 1575 01:25:56,318 --> 01:25:58,274 and wants his own way. 1576 01:25:58,362 --> 01:26:00,068 A gypsy who's never had a permanent home 1577 01:26:00,155 --> 01:26:02,862 since he was a kid and the pool room burned down. 1578 01:26:02,949 --> 01:26:05,782 And who wants to stay as free as the wind. 1579 01:26:05,869 --> 01:26:07,325 A man who's not only dead broke, 1580 01:26:07,412 --> 01:26:09,619 but in hock to the government. 1581 01:26:09,706 --> 01:26:12,493 Is that the kind of man you want to marry? 1582 01:26:12,584 --> 01:26:16,702 I don't know, I don't know if I want to marry anyone. 1583 01:26:16,797 --> 01:26:18,708 Well then it's a stand-off, isn't it? 1584 01:26:20,509 --> 01:26:22,591 But I do know one thing. 1585 01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:24,418 I know. 1586 01:26:29,476 --> 01:26:32,809 Pardon me. I'll kill whoever it is and be right back. 1587 01:26:40,529 --> 01:26:43,566 Hello. Yes, operator. Speaking. Yeah. 1588 01:26:43,657 --> 01:26:46,069 Wait! Rosemary! Don't go! 1589 01:26:47,744 --> 01:26:50,201 Yeah? Who? 1590 01:26:50,288 --> 01:26:51,949 Austin palfrey, dear lad. 1591 01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:54,372 Can you be at the la airport by midnight? 1592 01:26:54,459 --> 01:26:56,165 Adam: But why? 1593 01:26:56,253 --> 01:26:58,744 I've wired you a ticket for the midnight jet. 1594 01:26:58,839 --> 01:27:01,922 You're to be in Washington first thing in the morning. 1595 01:27:02,008 --> 01:27:04,841 No, Rosemary. I haven't seen Jack since yesterday. 1596 01:27:04,928 --> 01:27:07,294 But I did hear his phone ring. 1597 01:27:07,389 --> 01:27:10,973 Oh, was that you? Dougie, spit that out! 1598 01:27:11,059 --> 01:27:12,845 What, Rosemary? 1599 01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:16,520 No. His car's not here, either. 1600 01:27:16,606 --> 01:27:18,642 Oh... Look, honey, I've got to run. 1601 01:27:18,734 --> 01:27:20,850 Dougie's eating a ball-point pen. 1602 01:27:20,944 --> 01:27:22,104 Dougie! 1603 01:27:23,488 --> 01:27:24,603 Jack? 1604 01:27:37,294 --> 01:27:39,751 Adam: Darling, that's you, Rosemary, 1605 01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:41,544 I had to leave. 1606 01:27:41,631 --> 01:27:44,589 Keep this machine to remember me by. 1607 01:27:44,676 --> 01:27:47,167 I hope you'll be as lonesome and miserable without me 1608 01:27:47,262 --> 01:27:50,004 as I have been every evening when you left. 1609 01:27:55,479 --> 01:27:57,344 There you are, Mr. niles. 1610 01:27:57,439 --> 01:28:00,602 Except for $1000 or so, it's all there. 1611 01:28:00,692 --> 01:28:02,648 - What's all there? - Your money, dear lad. 1612 01:28:02,736 --> 01:28:05,102 The cash, stocks, and bonds. 1613 01:28:05,197 --> 01:28:06,858 What... you mean you found wappinger? 1614 01:28:06,948 --> 01:28:08,688 Boarding a plane in Mexico City. 1615 01:28:08,784 --> 01:28:10,900 Oh, well, that's great. Thank you, gentlemen. 1616 01:28:10,994 --> 01:28:12,154 Oh, that's wonderful. 1617 01:28:12,245 --> 01:28:13,431 Of course you'll have to sign a complaint 1618 01:28:13,455 --> 01:28:14,455 against him, Mr. niles. 1619 01:28:14,498 --> 01:28:15,988 No, I don't think I will 1620 01:28:16,082 --> 01:28:18,122 I'd have to stick around for his trial, be a withess 1621 01:28:18,210 --> 01:28:20,371 and there's something about courtrooms... 1622 01:28:20,462 --> 01:28:22,302 I suppose you're anxious to get back to France, 1623 01:28:22,380 --> 01:28:23,540 finish your book? 1624 01:28:23,632 --> 01:28:24,817 No, no, I'm working on something 1625 01:28:24,841 --> 01:28:26,172 little more domestic right now. 1626 01:28:26,259 --> 01:28:28,124 Of course. How the Americans live! 1627 01:28:28,220 --> 01:28:29,505 - True. - Alright Jones. 1628 01:28:29,596 --> 01:28:31,427 You can let the newsreel boys in now. 1629 01:28:31,515 --> 01:28:33,301 I'm about to start the publicity rolling 1630 01:28:33,391 --> 01:28:36,133 oh Adams' next bestseller. 1631 01:28:36,228 --> 01:28:38,219 As a matter of fact I've been back in this country 1632 01:28:38,313 --> 01:28:40,474 for some time, living in California, 1633 01:28:40,565 --> 01:28:43,227 in a housing development in the San Fernando valley. 1634 01:28:43,318 --> 01:28:45,479 Of course I've had to use an assumed name, 1635 01:28:45,570 --> 01:28:48,528 but I've been doing a lot of research for my newest book. 1636 01:28:48,615 --> 01:28:50,651 It's based on modern living in this country 1637 01:28:50,742 --> 01:28:53,575 and it's called "how the Americans live.” 1638 01:28:53,662 --> 01:28:56,404 It's been a most stimulating and fascinating experience 1639 01:28:56,498 --> 01:28:59,285 and frankly I've been amazed at some of my findings 1640 01:28:59,376 --> 01:29:01,287 because I've found a strong, healthy group 1641 01:29:01,378 --> 01:29:03,585 of hard-working men and women 1642 01:29:03,672 --> 01:29:05,583 who not only try to be kind and decent, 1643 01:29:05,674 --> 01:29:07,665 but go to extremes to help each other. 1644 01:30:40,060 --> 01:30:41,470 Rosemary. 1645 01:30:41,561 --> 01:30:43,472 Why didn't you tell me you were coming back? 1646 01:30:43,563 --> 01:30:45,144 I didn't know I was going to. 1647 01:30:45,231 --> 01:30:46,892 But I just moved back in tonight! 1648 01:30:46,983 --> 01:30:48,564 Oh, this is awful. 1649 01:30:48,652 --> 01:30:50,392 It's not bad from here. 1650 01:30:50,487 --> 01:30:53,524 You look quite alluring and I'm proud of you for one thing. 1651 01:30:53,615 --> 01:30:56,607 You didn't pull the bedclothes up around your neck. 1652 01:30:56,701 --> 01:30:58,066 No, no, stay right where you are. 1653 01:30:58,161 --> 01:31:00,152 No need to get up. It's after midnight. 1654 01:31:00,246 --> 01:31:02,362 - There's no one here but us. - Oh, now, please. 1655 01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:04,038 Oh, and you're beautiful with your hair 1656 01:31:04,125 --> 01:31:05,581 all shook up like that. 1657 01:31:05,669 --> 01:31:07,751 Don't spoil it. You're a picture. 1658 01:31:07,837 --> 01:31:09,148 And you don't go to bed with your face 1659 01:31:09,172 --> 01:31:10,912 full of grease, like a channel swimmer. 1660 01:31:11,007 --> 01:31:13,293 Oh, well, you've got to let me get up. 1661 01:31:13,385 --> 01:31:16,127 Rosemary, we didn't plan it this way. Either of us. 1662 01:31:16,221 --> 01:31:17,757 It was just meant to happen. 1663 01:31:17,847 --> 01:31:19,617 Yeah, well, I certainly didn't mean this to happen! 1664 01:31:19,641 --> 01:31:22,053 You're single, female, and in your right mind. 1665 01:31:22,143 --> 01:31:24,680 Exactly and if you think I'm going to allow myself 1666 01:31:24,771 --> 01:31:27,888 to become entangled with a.J. Niles... 1667 01:31:27,983 --> 01:31:29,189 Oh, so that's it. 1668 01:31:29,275 --> 01:31:31,732 Everyone knows who you are, Mr. niles. 1669 01:31:31,820 --> 01:31:35,028 All, you know what, broke loose here today. 1670 01:31:35,115 --> 01:31:37,276 You didn't feel this way before I left. 1671 01:31:37,367 --> 01:31:39,323 I'm the same man I was two days ago. 1672 01:31:39,411 --> 01:31:41,026 Hmm, the same deceitful liar. 1673 01:31:41,121 --> 01:31:44,613 Yeah, well, I had to lie. But I don't have to anymore. 1674 01:31:44,708 --> 01:31:47,199 A shattering thing happened to me while I was away. 1675 01:31:47,293 --> 01:31:50,000 For the first time in my life, I missed someone. 1676 01:31:50,088 --> 01:31:51,703 I had to come back. 1677 01:31:51,798 --> 01:31:55,837 Oh, will you please leave me alone and get out of here? 1678 01:31:55,927 --> 01:31:57,508 Well, at least now you know the truth. 1679 01:31:59,431 --> 01:32:01,092 If you want the bedroom, you can have it. 1680 01:32:01,182 --> 01:32:02,342 Your rent is still paid. 1681 01:32:02,434 --> 01:32:03,924 No, stay there. 1682 01:32:04,019 --> 01:32:05,930 I'll sleep on the couch, like the men always do 1683 01:32:06,021 --> 01:32:07,431 in American movies. 1684 01:32:17,240 --> 01:32:18,730 Oh, darn him! 1685 01:32:57,989 --> 01:32:59,399 Here. 1686 01:33:42,784 --> 01:33:43,990 Rosemary: Well? 1687 01:33:44,077 --> 01:33:45,362 Well, what? 1688 01:33:45,453 --> 01:33:46,909 Aren't you going to brush your teeth? 1689 01:33:46,996 --> 01:33:48,827 Oh, I forgot. 1690 01:33:48,915 --> 01:33:50,655 Did you come in here just to remind me? 1691 01:33:50,750 --> 01:33:52,741 No, I came in here to tell you 1692 01:33:52,836 --> 01:33:54,792 what a despicable person you are. 1693 01:33:54,879 --> 01:33:56,835 You might get an argument. I'm quite fond of me. 1694 01:33:56,923 --> 01:33:59,164 You're the only one who is. 1695 01:33:59,259 --> 01:34:01,671 But I am grateful to you for one thing. 1696 01:34:01,761 --> 01:34:03,092 Well, that's something. 1697 01:34:03,179 --> 01:34:05,170 You brought me back to my senses. 1698 01:34:05,265 --> 01:34:08,257 When I thought you had gone for good, I was desolate. 1699 01:34:08,351 --> 01:34:10,467 I was miserable because I lost my nerve 1700 01:34:10,562 --> 01:34:12,803 and ran out on you the other night. 1701 01:34:12,897 --> 01:34:14,262 But now that you're back, 1702 01:34:14,357 --> 01:34:17,190 I can see what a mistake it would have been. 1703 01:34:17,277 --> 01:34:21,441 I'm not a woman to you. I'm a, a Guinea pig. 1704 01:34:21,531 --> 01:34:23,396 And that's all every female in paradise 1705 01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:26,153 is to you, a.J. Niles, a Guinea pig! 1706 01:34:26,244 --> 01:34:29,327 Well, by the same token, I owe you a vote of thanks. 1707 01:34:29,414 --> 01:34:31,530 In the giddy euphoria of recovering my loot 1708 01:34:31,624 --> 01:34:33,831 and my identity, I was seriously considering 1709 01:34:33,918 --> 01:34:35,454 proposing to you. 1710 01:34:35,545 --> 01:34:37,251 What a stupid blunder that would be. 1711 01:34:37,338 --> 01:34:39,795 At my age, to change my whole way of life, 1712 01:34:39,883 --> 01:34:42,090 give up my freedom and everything. 1713 01:34:42,177 --> 01:34:44,964 Thank you, my dear, for snapping me back to reality. 1714 01:34:45,054 --> 01:34:46,635 I'll be out of here and out of your life 1715 01:34:46,723 --> 01:34:48,213 first thing in the morning. 1716 01:34:48,308 --> 01:34:49,388 Thank you. 1717 01:34:50,602 --> 01:34:51,637 Who's that? 1718 01:34:51,728 --> 01:34:52,968 I don't know. 1719 01:34:53,062 --> 01:34:54,177 Quick, in the bedroom! 1720 01:34:54,272 --> 01:34:55,541 Well, who is it? =I don't know. 1721 01:34:55,565 --> 01:34:57,146 It's too early for the milk. 1722 01:34:58,359 --> 01:34:59,565 Just a minute. 1723 01:35:06,201 --> 01:35:07,987 Hi! May I come in? 1724 01:35:08,077 --> 01:35:09,783 - No. Yeah. - I heard your car drive up. 1725 01:35:09,871 --> 01:35:13,238 I was so excited, Jack! Mr. niles, I mean. 1726 01:35:13,333 --> 01:35:15,019 I didn't think you were ever coming back here. 1727 01:35:15,043 --> 01:35:16,770 - Well, I didn't intend... - We all knew you were somebody. 1728 01:35:16,794 --> 01:35:18,284 Linda: You just had to be. 1729 01:35:18,379 --> 01:35:20,357 And I want you to know, that no matter what happens, 1730 01:35:20,381 --> 01:35:21,962 we girls will stick up for you. 1731 01:35:22,050 --> 01:35:23,665 Yeah, it may not be enough, Linda. 1732 01:35:23,760 --> 01:35:25,000 I'll tell you, I... 1733 01:35:25,094 --> 01:35:26,755 - What's that? That. - What? 1734 01:35:26,846 --> 01:35:29,053 The back door! If that's Larry, he'll kill me! 1735 01:35:29,140 --> 01:35:30,676 Quick, hide in the bedroom. 1736 01:35:30,767 --> 01:35:33,474 No, not there! No, no, second bedroom. Right there. 1737 01:35:33,561 --> 01:35:36,098 I knew this house was too small. 1738 01:35:49,535 --> 01:35:50,846 You got to come with me right away. 1739 01:35:50,870 --> 01:35:52,076 - Where? What? - To my house. 1740 01:35:52,163 --> 01:35:53,307 Before Leland finds out that I'm here. 1741 01:35:53,331 --> 01:35:54,616 You gotta talk to him for me. 1742 01:35:54,707 --> 01:35:56,368 You gotta tell him that nothing happened! 1743 01:35:56,459 --> 01:35:58,854 Will you calm down, Camille? Now, what are you talking about? 1744 01:35:58,878 --> 01:36:01,369 Well, ever since Leland found out that you're a.J. Niles, 1745 01:36:01,464 --> 01:36:03,375 he thinks that you and I are having a... 1746 01:36:03,466 --> 01:36:05,110 Well, that... that... that we're... we're carrying 1747 01:36:05,134 --> 01:36:06,590 oh some kind of a... 1748 01:36:06,678 --> 01:36:08,964 Oh, please! You gotta come and clear my name! 1749 01:36:09,055 --> 01:36:10,670 My whole marriage hangs in the balance! 1750 01:36:10,765 --> 01:36:12,805 Will you stop this drama? Do I have to go to that... 1751 01:36:14,018 --> 01:36:15,383 Oh, it's Leland! 1752 01:36:15,478 --> 01:36:17,969 I know I gotta hide! Please, I gotta hide! 1753 01:36:18,064 --> 01:36:19,679 - Here. Get right in there. - Yes. 1754 01:36:21,317 --> 01:36:22,682 Keep breathing. 1755 01:36:30,034 --> 01:36:31,274 Oh, no! 1756 01:36:31,369 --> 01:36:33,280 Adam j. Niles! 1757 01:36:33,371 --> 01:36:36,329 - Welcome to grand hotel. - Why didn't you tell me? 1758 01:36:36,416 --> 01:36:38,623 Oh, we could have conducted the most marvelous 1759 01:36:38,710 --> 01:36:39,916 experiments together! 1760 01:36:40,003 --> 01:36:42,119 Look... put that coat back on! 1761 01:36:42,213 --> 01:36:43,524 Oh, boy, oh! Where's your tape recorder? 1762 01:36:43,548 --> 01:36:45,084 - Let's get to work! - But, Dolores! 1763 01:36:45,174 --> 01:36:48,666 - Oh, I wanna be in your book! - No, but you can't! 1764 01:36:48,761 --> 01:36:53,004 - Ah! So Mrs. brown was right! - Now, wait a minute, jynson... 1765 01:36:53,099 --> 01:36:55,841 I won't wait a second, you libertine! 1766 01:36:55,935 --> 01:36:59,223 I'll see you in court. Both of you! 1767 01:36:59,314 --> 01:37:00,850 Listen... 1768 01:37:00,940 --> 01:37:02,726 Ooh... 1769 01:37:29,302 --> 01:37:31,293 Linda! What are you doing in there? 1770 01:37:31,387 --> 01:37:32,797 I don't know! 1771 01:37:32,889 --> 01:37:34,569 Come here. You're going to break your neck. 1772 01:37:34,640 --> 01:37:36,130 Come on, hurry up! 1773 01:37:50,073 --> 01:37:52,064 - Wait a minute! Shh! - Aah! 1774 01:37:52,158 --> 01:37:53,989 Shh! They're all coming. 1775 01:37:54,077 --> 01:37:55,283 Over the wall. 1776 01:37:57,038 --> 01:37:58,824 Can you make it? Go on! 1777 01:38:18,726 --> 01:38:21,012 State your name, address and occupation, please. 1778 01:38:21,104 --> 01:38:23,937 Thomas w. Jynson, presently residing 1779 01:38:24,023 --> 01:38:25,433 in the palm vista hotel. 1780 01:38:25,525 --> 01:38:27,937 And I'm the developer of paradise. 1781 01:38:28,027 --> 01:38:29,767 Paradise? 1782 01:38:29,862 --> 01:38:31,568 As I recall, the book of Genesis... 1783 01:38:31,656 --> 01:38:34,693 Paradise village, your honor. It's a real-estate development. 1784 01:38:34,784 --> 01:38:37,070 One of the finest housing developments 1785 01:38:37,161 --> 01:38:38,901 in the broad and fertile valley... 1786 01:38:40,456 --> 01:38:42,321 You will not use this courtroom 1787 01:38:42,417 --> 01:38:44,703 for any advertising purposes, Mr. jynson. 1788 01:38:46,045 --> 01:38:47,626 Continue. 1789 01:38:47,713 --> 01:38:49,874 Now, Mr. jynson, isn't it true 1790 01:38:49,966 --> 01:38:52,048 that, most regrettably, you are compelled 1791 01:38:52,135 --> 01:38:54,717 to seek this action against your wife 1792 01:38:54,804 --> 01:38:57,341 after numerous instances of infidelity 1793 01:38:57,432 --> 01:38:59,923 with one a.J. Niles... 1794 01:39:00,017 --> 01:39:02,133 A man who is known to be... 1795 01:39:02,228 --> 01:39:03,468 Pardon me, your honor... 1796 01:39:03,563 --> 01:39:06,179 A libertine and a seducer? 1797 01:39:06,274 --> 01:39:08,560 - Absolutely. Attorney: Objection! 1798 01:39:08,651 --> 01:39:10,295 Mr. backett: Your honor, we intend to produce evidence 1799 01:39:10,319 --> 01:39:12,651 to prove the statement that Mr. niles 1800 01:39:12,738 --> 01:39:15,480 is, if you'll pardon the expression, 1801 01:39:15,575 --> 01:39:18,362 a libertine and a seducer. 1802 01:39:20,037 --> 01:39:23,529 Judge: Order! Order in the court! 1803 01:39:23,624 --> 01:39:26,457 Yes, I did say I wanted to be in his book. 1804 01:39:26,544 --> 01:39:28,830 I wanted to be a whole new chapter. 1805 01:39:28,921 --> 01:39:32,038 As a matter of fact, I wanted to be a whole new book. 1806 01:39:32,133 --> 01:39:35,842 "How Mrs. Tom cheapskate lives... 1807 01:39:35,928 --> 01:39:37,543 Miserably." 1808 01:39:37,638 --> 01:39:40,630 A.j. Niles filled my wife's head with sexy ideas. 1809 01:39:40,725 --> 01:39:43,467 And I married that woman because I liked her empty-headed. 1810 01:39:45,313 --> 01:39:46,928 I knew there was something going on 1811 01:39:47,023 --> 01:39:50,186 when I saw the way my wife was wrapping the garbage. 1812 01:39:50,276 --> 01:39:51,766 Nobody wraps garbage like that 1813 01:39:51,861 --> 01:39:54,694 unless there's some hanky-panky going on. 1814 01:39:57,992 --> 01:40:01,576 The poor, dear man was always trying to help. 1815 01:40:01,662 --> 01:40:04,654 Like, when Camille wanted to dye her hair red 1816 01:40:04,749 --> 01:40:08,333 and Jack... Mr. niles told her that dyed red hair 1817 01:40:08,419 --> 01:40:10,455 looked so phony and... 1818 01:40:14,926 --> 01:40:16,837 Oh! 1819 01:40:16,928 --> 01:40:21,388 Well, your hair doesn't look like it's dyed, your honor. 1820 01:40:21,474 --> 01:40:24,637 I mean, well, men can't always be right, can they? 1821 01:40:27,063 --> 01:40:30,021 Mr. backett: Your home is directly across the street 1822 01:40:30,107 --> 01:40:33,440 from the house Mr. niles has rented? 1823 01:40:33,528 --> 01:40:36,270 I've just talked to New York. You're making headlines! 1824 01:40:36,364 --> 01:40:38,525 I've had to order a second printing of your book 1825 01:40:38,616 --> 01:40:40,197 before it's even finished! 1826 01:40:40,284 --> 01:40:42,991 From your observations, Mrs. brown, 1827 01:40:43,079 --> 01:40:44,944 how would you describe Mr. niles? 1828 01:40:46,832 --> 01:40:49,665 Sex fiend, pure and simple. 1829 01:40:52,797 --> 01:40:54,003 Attorney: Objection! 1830 01:40:54,090 --> 01:40:56,797 Sustained. 1831 01:40:56,884 --> 01:41:01,469 Mrs. brown, that's a very broad and condemning term. 1832 01:41:01,556 --> 01:41:04,263 I don't know how else you'd describe him. 1833 01:41:04,350 --> 01:41:06,591 He has only one thing on his mind. 1834 01:41:08,980 --> 01:41:12,268 Have you ever read his books, madam judge? 1835 01:41:12,358 --> 01:41:14,314 Yes, I have. 1836 01:41:14,402 --> 01:41:16,063 I've also read the books of h.G. Wells, 1837 01:41:16,153 --> 01:41:19,520 but I wouldn't describe him as an astronaut. 1838 01:41:19,615 --> 01:41:22,482 Please, confine your testimony to factual observations. 1839 01:41:22,577 --> 01:41:24,784 Very well, your honoress. 1840 01:41:24,870 --> 01:41:29,034 Ever since that man moved into Rosemary's house... 1841 01:41:29,125 --> 01:41:31,662 Stop trying to make implications, Mr. backett. 1842 01:41:31,752 --> 01:41:33,458 My relationship with Dolores jynson 1843 01:41:33,546 --> 01:41:34,786 was not experimental. 1844 01:41:34,880 --> 01:41:36,836 Oh, then you actually did find her 1845 01:41:36,924 --> 01:41:38,789 physically attractive? 1846 01:41:38,884 --> 01:41:40,124 Certainly not. 1847 01:41:41,554 --> 01:41:43,545 Did he have to say that? 1848 01:41:43,639 --> 01:41:45,880 Well, that is, I didn't find her unattractive. 1849 01:41:45,975 --> 01:41:47,806 I, what I mean is... 1850 01:41:47,893 --> 01:41:51,181 Judge: Mr. niles, when you've finished debating with yourself, 1851 01:41:51,272 --> 01:41:52,672 will you please answer the question? 1852 01:41:52,732 --> 01:41:55,018 Well, I'm trying to, your honor. 1853 01:41:55,109 --> 01:41:56,599 I did find her attractive, but that 1854 01:41:56,694 --> 01:41:58,355 did not motivate my actions. 1855 01:42:00,906 --> 01:42:02,897 Mr. backett: Now, Mr. niles, 1856 01:42:02,992 --> 01:42:05,404 you heard Mr. jynson testify 1857 01:42:05,494 --> 01:42:07,359 that he saw Mrs. jynson, 1858 01:42:07,455 --> 01:42:09,912 clad only in a revealing negligee, 1859 01:42:09,999 --> 01:42:12,240 nestled in your arms. 1860 01:42:12,335 --> 01:42:15,247 Would you explain your motivation for that? 1861 01:42:15,338 --> 01:42:18,705 You see, your honor, it isn't quite that simple. 1862 01:42:18,799 --> 01:42:21,131 What I mean to say is... Well, there were 1863 01:42:21,218 --> 01:42:23,071 three other women in the house at the same time. 1864 01:42:23,095 --> 01:42:25,256 - Three? - I didn't plan it that way. 1865 01:42:25,348 --> 01:42:27,054 I don't go in for group therapy. 1866 01:42:27,141 --> 01:42:29,803 But, I... it was just one of those hectic nights. 1867 01:42:29,894 --> 01:42:32,306 I can well understand that. 1868 01:42:32,396 --> 01:42:34,352 Your honor, may I make ohne statement 1869 01:42:34,440 --> 01:42:37,102 to clarify this whole situation? 1870 01:42:37,193 --> 01:42:38,979 Clarification would most certainly 1871 01:42:39,070 --> 01:42:40,856 be in order, Mr. niles. 1872 01:42:40,946 --> 01:42:43,983 Well, your honor, there seems to be a public image of a.J. Niles 1873 01:42:44,075 --> 01:42:46,612 as some sort of a wandering Casanova, 1874 01:42:46,702 --> 01:42:49,444 to whom the world is a private boudoir. 1875 01:42:49,538 --> 01:42:52,120 In the past, there may have been some justification for this, 1876 01:42:52,208 --> 01:42:54,039 but ever since I established residence 1877 01:42:54,126 --> 01:42:57,710 at paradise village, I've been an entirely different man. 1878 01:42:57,797 --> 01:43:01,164 The plain truth is, that for the first time in my life, 1879 01:43:01,258 --> 01:43:05,251 I've been in love. Sincerely, deeply in love. 1880 01:43:05,346 --> 01:43:06,756 And because of that, only one woman 1881 01:43:06,847 --> 01:43:08,758 has meant anything at all to me. 1882 01:43:08,849 --> 01:43:10,840 And that woman is Rosemary Howard. 1883 01:43:12,937 --> 01:43:16,100 Because of my feeling for her, I couldn't have possibly indulged 1884 01:43:16,190 --> 01:43:19,398 in any of the activities of which I've been accused. 1885 01:43:19,485 --> 01:43:21,851 I returned from Washington for one reason, your honor, 1886 01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:23,652 to marry Ms. Howard. 1887 01:43:23,739 --> 01:43:26,481 Unfortunately, she turned me down. 1888 01:43:26,575 --> 01:43:29,783 But I was truly and still am deeply in love, 1889 01:43:29,870 --> 01:43:33,203 and I hope to persuade her to change her mind and marry me. 1890 01:43:38,337 --> 01:43:41,420 No further questions. 1891 01:43:41,507 --> 01:43:43,338 Does counsel for the defense 1892 01:43:43,426 --> 01:43:45,337 wish to cross-examine the witness? 1893 01:43:47,138 --> 01:43:48,628 No questions, your honor. 1894 01:43:50,307 --> 01:43:52,047 You may step down, Mr. niles. 1895 01:43:54,895 --> 01:43:56,886 Who is your next witness, Mr. backett? 1896 01:43:56,981 --> 01:44:00,189 I'd like to call Ms. Rosemary Howard to the stand. 1897 01:44:08,701 --> 01:44:10,429 Bailiff: Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, 1898 01:44:10,453 --> 01:44:12,681 the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you god? 1899 01:44:12,705 --> 01:44:14,241 You idiot! You've ruined everything. 1900 01:44:14,331 --> 01:44:15,992 Now, you're just another guy. 1901 01:44:16,083 --> 01:44:17,368 Yeah, and it's about time. 1902 01:44:18,794 --> 01:44:20,455 Now, Ms. Howard, 1903 01:44:20,546 --> 01:44:24,380 were you formerly associated with Mr. jynson in business? 1904 01:44:24,467 --> 01:44:25,752 I was. 1905 01:44:25,843 --> 01:44:27,458 Did you resign your position? 1906 01:44:28,596 --> 01:44:31,178 No. I was fired. 1907 01:44:31,265 --> 01:44:33,631 Will you tell the court why? 1908 01:44:33,726 --> 01:44:36,843 Because I refused to evict Mr. niles from my house. 1909 01:44:36,937 --> 01:44:39,474 Who demanded that eviction? 1910 01:44:39,565 --> 01:44:41,055 There was a petition signed 1911 01:44:41,150 --> 01:44:43,232 by a number of the husbands in the neighborhood. 1912 01:44:43,319 --> 01:44:45,731 Well, that would be exhibit a, your honor. 1913 01:44:49,492 --> 01:44:52,108 Judge: Is this the document, Ms. Howard? 1914 01:44:52,203 --> 01:44:54,194 It appears to be, your honor. 1915 01:44:54,288 --> 01:44:55,653 Now, Ms. Howard, 1916 01:44:55,748 --> 01:44:58,114 that petition makes several allegations 1917 01:44:58,209 --> 01:45:00,996 as to the conduct and character of Mr. niles. 1918 01:45:01,086 --> 01:45:03,418 Would you deny them now, under oath? 1919 01:45:04,799 --> 01:45:06,130 Well, Ms. Howard? 1920 01:45:09,345 --> 01:45:11,210 May I make a statement, your honor? 1921 01:45:11,305 --> 01:45:12,761 In the interest of clarification? 1922 01:45:12,848 --> 01:45:13,883 Oh, yes. 1923 01:45:13,974 --> 01:45:15,214 By all means, Ms. Howard. 1924 01:45:16,852 --> 01:45:18,934 These three divorce cases 1925 01:45:19,021 --> 01:45:21,307 are based on a complete misunderstanding 1926 01:45:21,398 --> 01:45:24,356 of Mr. niles and his motives... 1927 01:45:24,443 --> 01:45:26,434 And the motives of the wives. 1928 01:45:26,529 --> 01:45:28,565 You tell them, Rosemary! 1929 01:45:29,824 --> 01:45:31,906 Order in the court. 1930 01:45:31,992 --> 01:45:33,903 Continue, Ms. Howard. 1931 01:45:33,994 --> 01:45:36,030 I know this because I worked very closely 1932 01:45:36,121 --> 01:45:38,863 with Mr. niles, on his notes. 1933 01:45:38,958 --> 01:45:41,415 And I heard all the conversation between the girls and Jack... 1934 01:45:42,586 --> 01:45:44,201 I mean Mr. niles... 1935 01:45:44,296 --> 01:45:46,628 That night, before Tom jynson came bursting in. 1936 01:45:48,259 --> 01:45:50,250 A.j. Niles only wanted to help. 1937 01:45:51,762 --> 01:45:54,754 He understood their frustrations, 1938 01:45:54,849 --> 01:45:56,385 their doubts 1939 01:45:56,475 --> 01:45:57,885 and their loneliness. 1940 01:45:57,977 --> 01:45:59,342 She's right, your honor! 1941 01:46:00,980 --> 01:46:04,438 Control yourselves! This is not a pta meeting. 1942 01:46:06,652 --> 01:46:08,017 Go on, Ms. Howard. 1943 01:46:09,613 --> 01:46:11,274 A woman left alone, 1944 01:46:11,365 --> 01:46:12,821 even in paradise, 1945 01:46:12,908 --> 01:46:16,150 has to rebuild her pride. 1946 01:46:16,245 --> 01:46:19,533 I know Dolores and Tom are very much in love with each other 1947 01:46:19,623 --> 01:46:22,831 and Mr. niles was aware of it, too. 1948 01:46:22,918 --> 01:46:24,283 The others felt that their husbands 1949 01:46:24,378 --> 01:46:26,619 were losing interest in them. 1950 01:46:26,714 --> 01:46:29,251 But in all this time in paradise village, 1951 01:46:29,341 --> 01:46:33,550 a.j. Niles only wanted to help, and this is his reward. 1952 01:46:33,637 --> 01:46:38,051 Ms. Howard, Mr. niles is not on trial here. 1953 01:46:38,142 --> 01:46:39,848 Oh, I'm aware of that, your honor, 1954 01:46:39,935 --> 01:46:42,472 but he seems to be the central character. 1955 01:46:42,563 --> 01:46:43,973 Whereas, these men are guilty 1956 01:46:44,064 --> 01:46:46,476 of failing to appreciate their wives. 1957 01:46:46,567 --> 01:46:49,434 And what's worse, you didn't even trust them. 1958 01:46:49,528 --> 01:46:51,735 The truth is, they're lucky to have women 1959 01:46:51,822 --> 01:46:54,154 who care enough to try and win back their affection. 1960 01:46:55,910 --> 01:46:58,242 As to Mr. a.J. Niles, 1961 01:46:58,329 --> 01:46:59,785 I have only one thing to say. 1962 01:47:01,373 --> 01:47:04,957 A few minutes ago, he stated, under oath, 1963 01:47:05,044 --> 01:47:07,626 that his only objective was to marry me. 1964 01:47:07,713 --> 01:47:08,953 And I meant it! 1965 01:47:14,345 --> 01:47:17,178 Then I wish to state, under oath, 1966 01:47:18,307 --> 01:47:20,514 that I have changed my mind, 1967 01:47:20,601 --> 01:47:23,058 and I accept his proposal of marriage. 1968 01:47:24,438 --> 01:47:25,624 You're hooked. You're through! 1969 01:47:25,648 --> 01:47:27,229 No more experiments. 1970 01:47:28,984 --> 01:47:30,190 Judge: Order in this court! 1971 01:47:31,695 --> 01:47:32,935 Order! 1972 01:47:34,448 --> 01:47:37,611 Order in this courtroom! Please! 1973 01:48:05,187 --> 01:48:07,098 Adam: One of the most interesting aspects 1974 01:48:07,189 --> 01:48:10,602 of the institution of marriage is a rather complex rite, 1975 01:48:10,693 --> 01:48:13,981 colloquially referred to as "the honeymoon.” 1976 01:48:15,614 --> 01:48:17,730 Historians have traced this romantic ritual 1977 01:48:17,825 --> 01:48:19,531 back to the days of ancient... 1978 01:48:27,001 --> 01:48:28,582 Historians have traced this... 1979 01:48:29,920 --> 01:48:31,876 Adam: Oh, those historians.