1
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      (♪ Love As A Weapon ♪     
        by Little Scream)       

2
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♪ I was putting on my raincoat ♪

3
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   ♪ When I saw myself again ♪  

4
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     ♪ I was thinking about     
          how I felt ♪          

5
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        ♪ When you fooled       
        my heart again ♪        

6
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     ♪ When your love's not     
           a shelter ♪          

7
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      ♪ And you get caught      
         in the rain ♪♪         

8
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   - So, how would we do this?  

9
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     - I love that question.    

10
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   - Do you mind logistically?  

11
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       - More physically.       

12
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          - We believe          
        in skin on skin.        

13
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      Eye contact building,     
       secure attachment.       

14
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       What is it we like?      
           The "seal?"          

15
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      - Oh, the "Dolphin."      
       Firm but flexible.       

16
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 - We're not into lawn mowering.

17
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  - I don't know what that is.  
       - Or helicoptering.      

18
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          - Oh, right!          
   Is that where you would...   

19
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     - There has to be room     
           to breathe.          

20
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       - Oh, I'm not into       
          asphyxiation.         

21
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       - More free-range.       

22
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  - That sounds... so organic.  

23
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           - Exactly.           
       - I can be a tiger.      

24
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          - Wow. Great.         

25
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       - Well, protection       
         is everything.         

26
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  Especially, in the beginning. 

27
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         - Yeah, we have        
       to use protection.       

28
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             - What?            

29
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         - I can't wait         
     to all sleep together.     

30
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           (laughing)           
            - Me too.           

31
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              - No.             
      - Us and the babies.      

32
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         - What babies?         

33
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     - The babies that we...    

34
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       we both want to get      
   pregnant at the same time.   

35
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    But we wouldn't with you,   
            do the...           

36
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       - No, you would...       
      in a cup and then...      

37
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         (lips popping)         
       - I'm so confused.       

38
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     - Did you not put this     
         on our profile?        

39
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      - This was definitely     
      not on your profile.      

40
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       - Rosa's not great       
        with technology.        

41
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        - Oh, I take that       
        as a compliment.        

42
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      - We're best friends.     
     We met when we were 15?    

43
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     - Yeah, when we worked     
   in that bathing suit store.  

44
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      - Oh, he doesn't need     
          to know that.         

45
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    - The owner would make us   

46
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       try on the bikinis       
       just to, you know,       

47
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     like, see how they fit.    

48
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        And then he would       
       take our picture--       

49
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          - Stop, stop!         
          - And then...         

50
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           - Anyhow...          
        - In retrospect,        

51
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       it was very wrong.       

52
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          - We bonded,          

53
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   and we've been best friends  
           ever since.          

54
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         Now, we're both        
        recently single.        

55
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- Out of some bad relationships.

56
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        - The point is...       

57
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         we both always         
      wanted to be mothers,     

58
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        but we don't want       
         to do it alone.        

59
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      - We love each other.     

60
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  You know, but time is ticking 

61
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   so why not do it together?   

62
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         - But adoption         
      is super complicated.     

63
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    - And buying sperm is...    
      - We don't want that.     

64
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          - Because...          
 - We want a dad in the picture.

65
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 - You'd be very much involved. 
          - Definitely.         

66
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 - But we can't have actual sex 
       with you because...      

67
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    - It can get complicated.   

68
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             - So...            

69
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         Why are you on         
        a threesome app?        

70
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   (light background chatter)   

71
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          - Why are we          
       on a threesome app?      

72
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            - Are we?           
      (chuckling nervously)     

73
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      - That is definitely      
     not a co-parenting app.    

74
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              - No.             

75
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  - You put "looking for daddy" 

76
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       on a threesome app?      

77
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     - Well, because we are.    

78
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    We are looking for daddy.   

79
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         (playful music)        

80
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   - Did you bring everything?  

81
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   - For the third time, yes.   

82
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      - After that debacle      
   with the co-parenting app,   

83
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    you can't really blame me   
          for worrying.         

84
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      - Well, that was kind     
     of your fault, though.     

85
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     - How is that my fault?    
     - Well, if you weren't     

86
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        in recovery from        
   your dating app addiction,   

87
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 you would've put us on the app.

88
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        And none of that        
       would've happened.       

89
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       - Shh, he's coming.      

90
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     (footsteps approaching)    

91
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    - Sorry about the sweat.    
  I'm training for a triathlon. 

92
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          (man groans)          

93
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      Cycling's my weakest.     

94
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           (chuckling)          

95
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      - You're so athletic.     

96
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           (chuckles)           

97
00:03:43,232 --> 00:03:44,533
             - So...            

98
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           A mortgage,          
     I'm excited to help you    

99
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      take this next step.      

100
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        - Us, too. Very.        

101
00:03:50,039 --> 00:03:51,607
        - So let's start        
        with your assets.       

102
00:03:51,674 --> 00:03:53,509
     - Anna has more assets     
           than I do.           

103
00:03:53,576 --> 00:03:56,879
  - Don't sell yourself short.  
      Rosa also has assets.     

104
00:03:56,946 --> 00:03:58,381
          - Not really.         

105
00:03:58,447 --> 00:03:59,915
   - Did you bring everything?  

106
00:03:59,982 --> 00:04:02,251
   - My last two tax returns,   

107
00:04:02,318 --> 00:04:05,154
       my bank statement,       
    my credit card statement.   

108
00:04:05,221 --> 00:04:07,189
    I also have some savings.   
         Rosa does too.         

109
00:04:07,256 --> 00:04:08,824
     We could pool together     
           about 80k.           

110
00:04:08,891 --> 00:04:12,028
       - That's pretty low      
  for this city, but, um, okay. 

111
00:04:12,094 --> 00:04:13,329
     Uh, are you freelance?     

112
00:04:13,396 --> 00:04:15,064
    - I'm a wardrobe stylist.   

113
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:17,933
       Events, print ads,       
         film premieres.        

114
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,136
     - I'm currently working    
    my way through the entire   

115
00:04:20,202 --> 00:04:21,671
      Criterion Collection.     

116
00:04:21,737 --> 00:04:23,706
       - I'd love to know       
        your favourites.        

117
00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:25,975
          - Yeah, um...         

118
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      Back to, um... So...      

119
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          On your own,          
      this would be tough,      

120
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       but as a couple...       

121
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    - Oh, we're not a couple.   
       We're best friends.      

122
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   - We live together, though.  
   I mean, Anna lives with me   

123
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      since her most recent     
        very bad divorce.       

124
00:04:39,955 --> 00:04:41,057
      - It wasn't that bad.     

125
00:04:41,123 --> 00:04:43,092
       Anyway, we thought,      
   "Why not pool our resources  

126
00:04:43,159 --> 00:04:44,427
    and get into the market?"   

127
00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:46,862
     - Makes a lot of sense     
        in this economy.        

128
00:04:46,929 --> 00:04:48,831
           - Exactly.           

129
00:04:48,898 --> 00:04:50,833
      - So can I see yours?     

130
00:04:50,900 --> 00:04:52,401
           - Uh-huh...          

131
00:04:52,968 --> 00:04:54,437
         (clears throat)        

132
00:04:59,709 --> 00:05:02,745
         - This is a...         
      This is your resume.      

133
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:06,182
      And a bank statement.     

134
00:05:06,248 --> 00:05:08,417
        Okay, and, um...        

135
00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:11,387
 "Rosa is kind and warm-hearted,

136
00:05:11,454 --> 00:05:13,989
  and I love it when she reads  
    to me and rubs my feet."    

137
00:05:14,056 --> 00:05:16,959
          What is this?         
 - Some assessments of my work. 

138
00:05:17,026 --> 00:05:18,094
           - No, Rosa,          

139
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:21,497
 I said, "Notice of assessments"
        from your taxes.        

140
00:05:21,564 --> 00:05:24,100
  - Have you filed your taxes?  

141
00:05:24,166 --> 00:05:26,969
  - Um, it's been a few years.  

142
00:05:27,036 --> 00:05:29,138
            - A few?            
           - Seven...           

143
00:05:29,205 --> 00:05:31,207
         Nine... Ever...        

144
00:05:31,273 --> 00:05:33,309
       But I am on it now.      

145
00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:34,677
           I'm ready.           

146
00:05:34,744 --> 00:05:37,179
   - Hmm, okay, you're ready!   

147
00:05:37,246 --> 00:05:38,914
         Alright, so...         

148
00:05:40,249 --> 00:05:41,650
          You're a...?          
             - Poet.            

149
00:05:41,717 --> 00:05:42,752
 And a personal support worker. 

150
00:05:42,818 --> 00:05:44,887
        - Rosa's amazing        
        with old people.        

151
00:05:44,954 --> 00:05:47,423
       - Elderly. We don't      
       say "old" anymore.       

152
00:05:47,490 --> 00:05:48,858
          - Full-time?          

153
00:05:48,924 --> 00:05:50,126
           - Sort of.           

154
00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:52,695
  I also, I need time to write. 

155
00:05:53,295 --> 00:05:55,998
      - Okay, yeah... Uh...     

156
00:05:56,065 --> 00:05:59,235
       I'm sorry. I don't       
   think I can make this work.  

157
00:05:59,301 --> 00:06:01,771
             - What?            
  - You have no other holdings. 

158
00:06:01,837 --> 00:06:03,706
  A bare minimum down payment.  

159
00:06:03,773 --> 00:06:05,975
       How would you cover      
          closing costs         

160
00:06:06,041 --> 00:06:08,511
      or taxes and escrow?      

161
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:09,945
   Maybe you should just rent.  

162
00:06:10,012 --> 00:06:12,314
       - But we're hoping       
       to start a family.       

163
00:06:12,381 --> 00:06:14,750
        We need security,       
         we need roots.         

164
00:06:14,817 --> 00:06:16,452
 - Can you get us a tiny house? 

165
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:17,853
  - Not the tiny houses again.  

166
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,488
        - In some places,       
           five people          

167
00:06:19,555 --> 00:06:20,856
    live in a walk-in closet.   

168
00:06:20,923 --> 00:06:23,492
This would be just the two of us
    in a shipping container.    

169
00:06:23,559 --> 00:06:25,294
           - Stop it.           
    - We just need a starter.   

170
00:06:25,361 --> 00:06:27,797
      You know, to build up     
         our portfolio.         

171
00:06:27,863 --> 00:06:28,964
            - Equity.           

172
00:06:29,031 --> 00:06:31,000
        - We need a nest.       

173
00:06:31,066 --> 00:06:32,968
        Please, help us.        

174
00:06:34,069 --> 00:06:37,006
   - I mean, if you're willing  
        to go low, like,        

175
00:06:37,072 --> 00:06:38,941
       400 square feet...       

176
00:06:39,575 --> 00:06:41,410
            - We are.           
            - We are?           

177
00:06:41,477 --> 00:06:43,078
       - Well, then get me      
        your tax returns        

178
00:06:43,145 --> 00:06:44,680
      as soon as possible.      

179
00:06:45,381 --> 00:06:46,482
      And I'll do my best.      

180
00:06:46,549 --> 00:06:48,751
          - Thank you.          
    - You won't regret this.    

181
00:06:49,385 --> 00:06:52,054
      - Mmm. Mm-hmm. Okay.      

182
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:55,958
              - Oh.             

183
00:06:56,892 --> 00:06:58,994
         How do you feel        
      about being a father?     

184
00:06:59,995 --> 00:07:00,996
          - Oh, my God.         

185
00:07:01,063 --> 00:07:03,599
        - I'm pretty good       
  just being a mortgage broker. 

186
00:07:03,666 --> 00:07:05,501
       (nervous chuckling)      

187
00:07:05,568 --> 00:07:07,470
            - Thanks.           

188
00:07:08,137 --> 00:07:10,840
  - What? He's good with money, 
          likes movies.         

189
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:13,175
 Plus, we've had no good matches
        on the app, yet.        

190
00:07:13,242 --> 00:07:15,611
        - It takes time!        
 We get more interest every day.

191
00:07:15,678 --> 00:07:18,380
              See?              
     - Hello, Baby Daddies.     

192
00:07:18,447 --> 00:07:20,282
         Did you reply?         
         Should I reply?        

193
00:07:20,349 --> 00:07:22,785
         Let me hold it!        
       - No apps for you!       

194
00:07:22,852 --> 00:07:24,720
           You spiral.          
             - Fine.            

195
00:07:24,787 --> 00:07:26,455
 But don't be too keen. Be cool.

196
00:07:26,522 --> 00:07:27,623
          We don't want         
       to seem desperate.       

197
00:07:27,690 --> 00:07:29,091
        - Says the woman        
     who just propositioned     

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00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,259
      our mortgage broker.      

199
00:07:30,326 --> 00:07:31,794
    - Again, good with money,   

200
00:07:31,861 --> 00:07:33,963
  likes movies, very athletic.  

201
00:07:34,029 --> 00:07:36,131
      (♪ Love As A Weapon ♪     
        by Little Scream)       

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00:07:36,198 --> 00:07:38,701
       Subtitling: difuze