1 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 2 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,878 So I said, "If opposing counsel's 3 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,269 "invoking fiduciary liability precedent 4 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:22,157 "under the terms of Landgraf v. Henson, 5 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,152 "Your Honor, please, by all means, go ahead, 6 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,596 rescind the plaintiff's de facto petition for injunctive relief." 7 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,719 - It was fun. It was fun. - Yeah. 8 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:33,472 Excuse me, gentlemen. I'll be right back. 9 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,677 So funny. "Injunctive relief." That tickled my funny bone. 10 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:40,312 What's up, Nick? 11 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:45,076 Fucking sucks dick about Grandma, huh? 12 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:46,229 Yeah. 13 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,197 Old woman fucking murdered like that. 14 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:52,034 - Nick, she had cancer. - That's what they want you to think. 15 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,076 She had cancer for ten years. 16 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:57,277 A little too convenient, Jason. 17 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:59,920 No, it's not... at all. 18 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,433 We'll never know the truth. 19 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:03,397 - We absolutely know the truth. - Yeah. 20 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,277 Grandma had cancer for 10 years. 21 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,396 You don't just die from cancer, Jason! 22 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,948 It's a conspiracy, man. 23 00:03:10,040 --> 00:03:12,110 Just like 9/11. 24 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:16,990 Oh, God. For your information, Grandma is not right here. 25 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,799 Grandma is gone and she was taken from us, 26 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,553 - we must find the man that did this! - Nick! Stop it! 27 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:26,753 Ow, man! These are Rockports! Fuck, man! I just got these. 28 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,798 - Calm down... - See you at the crossroads, Grandma. 29 00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,952 What are you doing? Are you kidding me? Right now? 30 00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:34,758 Hey, get your shit together! 31 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,877 My dad and my fiancée are literally standing right next to us. 32 00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,279 - Beyoncé's here? - No. 33 00:03:39,360 --> 00:03:41,351 Your dad and fiancée are standing next to Beyoncé? 34 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,351 - What? No. - Is Jay Z here too? 35 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:44,589 - No. - Is Blue lvy here? 36 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,113 - Nick. - I'm in the minority. 37 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,634 I think that kid's gonna be hot. 38 00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:50,551 What is that? 39 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,073 Hmm? 40 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:53,388 - What are you doing? - I'm just... 41 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,914 - Are you fucking high right now? - No, this isn't... 42 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,399 - You're high as a kite! - It's an e-cigarette. 43 00:03:57,480 --> 00:04:00,313 It's filled with a little weed, but it's an e-cigarette. 44 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:02,152 Grow up, man! What are you doing? 45 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:04,549 "Grow up"? How adult are you? 46 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,636 What, do you listen to NPR in your Volvo? 47 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:09,473 You play racquetball competitively against business associates? 48 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,034 - No. No. - You ever go away to a rented house 49 00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:13,792 with other couples and then play Scattergories 50 00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:16,713 - over a bottle of white wine? - Jason. 51 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:20,517 Uh... 52 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,677 I just blew a shot at your grandma's memory. 53 00:04:23,760 --> 00:04:26,797 Nick, get it together right now. Lock it up. 54 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,351 I'm not hugging you. 55 00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:38,395 If I hug you, will you stop messing around? 56 00:04:45,240 --> 00:04:47,037 Cropdusted, motherfucker! 57 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,872 - You just got cropdusted! - Hey! 58 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,712 - You're high now! - Get the fuck away from me! 59 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,199 Now we're both high at Grandma's funeral! 60 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,875 We're bonded for life. Uncle Dan, sorry, man. Tough day! 61 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:22,873 Poor Grandpa... 62 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:47,914 Our first reading is from Deuteronomy 30:19. 63 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:53,314 "This day I call the heavens and the earth 64 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,311 as a witness against you..." 65 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:58,158 "...that I have set before you life and death..." 66 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,310 Hey, babe, I found the tie you're going to wear 67 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,198 to the rehearsal brunch Sunday. 68 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:06,113 Do you like the coral color or the salmon? 69 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:07,997 "...that the race is not to the swift..." 70 00:06:08,080 --> 00:06:09,479 Either one. 71 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:11,240 "...nor the battle to the strong." 72 00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:15,154 Babe, what's wrong? 73 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,992 Coral or salmon? 74 00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,430 - Well, what do you like? - I mean... I like the coral. 75 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,592 That's what I was going to say, too. 76 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,272 - Okay, cool. Okay. - Okay. 77 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,358 Coral it is! 78 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,152 It's going to be a special day. 79 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,754 "...now choose life, 80 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,877 so that you and your children shall live." 81 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,311 Anyway, I'm down in Valdosta right now. 82 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,992 I opened up a fucking pet shop... 83 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,152 - Not pet shop, "puppy mill." - Puppy mill... 84 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,549 You know, designer dogs get a bad name, 85 00:06:49,640 --> 00:06:51,471 but they can go for quite a pretty penny. 86 00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,400 - Really? - It's just hard to get them to mate. 87 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,715 - Oh. - Because the little dogs, 88 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:57,279 they don't wanna fuck the big dogs, 89 00:06:57,360 --> 00:06:59,641 and the big dogs, they don't wanna fuck the little dogs... 90 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:02,280 So I gotta manually do it, you know. 91 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,960 I gotta spread and manually shoot in. 92 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,076 - Uh-huh. - So, what's up with you? 93 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,071 - Well, I'm keeping pretty busy... - Cool. 94 00:07:09,160 --> 00:07:12,357 - Hey, Diane, how's it going? - Hi, Nick. 95 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,192 - Hey, Nick. - I just don't understand why you have 96 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:16,794 to drive down to Florida tomorrow already, Dad! 97 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:17,949 We just had the funeral. 98 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,469 Your grandmother and I were there at this time every year. 99 00:07:20,560 --> 00:07:21,840 It's what she would have wanted. 100 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:25,674 I'd drive down myself, except they took my license away. 101 00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,955 But why does Jason have to be the one to drive you? 102 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,519 He's so busy at work... 103 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,716 Got the wedding coming up next weekend, the rehearsal brunch. 104 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,917 You know, the entire law firm is coming to this. 105 00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,240 - It's true, Grandpa. - Jason... 106 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:37,435 We have a lot of stuff, Meredith and l... 107 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:39,278 I'll handle it. 108 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:40,759 Go ahead. 109 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:43,274 How about Cousin Nick? Huh, Dad? 110 00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,391 Why doesn't Nick do it? 111 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:49,075 We got this chocolate lab down at the store that is just so horny, 112 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,436 every time I touch the back of its ear, it just gushes cum. 113 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:55,239 - Uh, okay. - I mean, like a squirting... 114 00:07:55,320 --> 00:07:56,435 Is that your dog? 115 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,796 Nick isn't legally allowed to leave the state of Georgia anymore. 116 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,348 I've barely seen this guy since high school. 117 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,112 What's wrong with spending some time with him? 118 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,192 Oh, so spending time with family is suddenly important to you now? 119 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,874 Look, he can come here tomorrow morning for breakfast. 120 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,560 We can drive down to Boca during the day, 121 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:13,551 maybe play a round of golf or two, 122 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:15,750 then he'd be back here in Atlanta the next day. 123 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,195 He can't just flake off for two days! 124 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,750 The risk versus reward here is just... I don't see it happening. 125 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,799 It's what she would have wanted, that's all. 126 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:30,510 But if you have to get ready for your wedding, if you're that busy... 127 00:08:38,840 --> 00:08:41,115 I just don't understand why he wants you to take him. 128 00:08:41,200 --> 00:08:42,519 You're not even that close. 129 00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:44,397 Well, we used to be. 130 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,152 Grandpa and I got along growing up. 131 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:49,915 We used to build these model trains every Christmas, so I brought him... 132 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,195 Well, it seems like we're cutting it a little close here, you know, 133 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,955 - with the rehearsal brunch on Friday... - I know. I know. 134 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:59,350 And by the way, I can't find any of the Martha's Vineyard vacation photos 135 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,113 for the slide show. I'm just freaking out. 136 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,714 That's because they're on my laptop, which I've got right here. 137 00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,153 So I'll send them to the wedding planner. 138 00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:07,468 You don't have to worry about anything. 139 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:11,792 Thanks. And your dad says take 75, because 16 takes forever. 140 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,760 Yeah, I know. He's got it all mapped out for me. 141 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,836 And can you take my car, sweetie? 142 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,229 Uh, I need the SUV for the wine. 143 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:35,199 Grandpa? 144 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:40,353 Grandpa? 145 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,318 Grandpa? 146 00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,151 Hey! You made it! 147 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,310 Give me a minute... 148 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,516 Oh, God! Shit! 149 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,870 Grab my ass! 150 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,554 - You ready to hit the road? - I'm really sorry, Grandpa. 151 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,393 I didn't think you'd be doing that. 152 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,436 Ah, so you caught me taking a number three. 153 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,351 - Big deal, right? - Number three? 154 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:37,829 Have a drink. 155 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:40,912 Uh... No. I'm driving, so... 156 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:47,075 I just got to finish up my exercises, and then we'll hop on 16 to 95. 157 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:51,509 Dad says we should take 75 to 95. It's more direct. 158 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,158 Dad's full of shit. 159 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:55,800 Grandpa, are you sure you're okay? 160 00:10:57,760 --> 00:10:59,239 Thanks for doing this, by the way. 161 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:02,278 Those fuckheads down at the DMV took my goddamn license away 162 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:03,759 because of these fucking cataracts in my eye. 163 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:06,559 But I can still hit the shit out of a golf ball, that's for sure! 164 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:09,837 I made a tee time for us in Florida for this afternoon. 165 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:12,036 You can use your grandmother's lady clubs, 166 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:13,473 they're right there by the front door. 167 00:11:13,560 --> 00:11:16,028 Okay. 168 00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,712 All right, you ready? 169 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:19,438 I thought the plan was to have breakfast here? 170 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:22,592 That's your breakfast. Now let's go get in that giant labia you drove up in 171 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,750 and get the fuck out of here. 172 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,953 You sure I should be driving with this, Grandpa? 173 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:40,837 Don't worry, if you spill it, 174 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:43,000 this giant tampon we're driving in should soak it up. 175 00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:53,990 Just finishing a work email 176 00:11:54,080 --> 00:11:57,993 for the Steinhart file... 177 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,754 So you're a lawyer at your dad's firm now, is that right? 178 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,195 That's right, and Meredith is too. 179 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,475 You know, her dad is one of the managing partners there, so... 180 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,755 - I know, that's... - Yeah. 181 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,274 It couldn't have worked out better. 182 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:13,510 Because it's just that I remember when you were in high school, 183 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,194 you told me how much you wanted to be a photographer, travel the world. 184 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:17,395 That sort of thing. 185 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:20,631 You remember when I got you that subscription to Time magazine? 186 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:24,799 Yeah, I used to be into photography, but, um... 187 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,950 I mean, with Dad being at the firm, pfft, 188 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:30,237 it just made so much more sense to focus on a college curriculum 189 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:31,720 that stressed the law school track. 190 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,392 I mean, I love what I do, Grandpa. 191 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,671 Being a corporate lawyer is awesome, I get to handle SEC compliance... 192 00:12:36,760 --> 00:12:39,115 - No shit! - Yeah. Yeah. 193 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:41,509 You handle SEC compliance? 194 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,672 - LP agreements. - Oh, man, I didn't know that. 195 00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,557 - LLC agreements. - You're shitting me! 196 00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,996 Being a corporate lawyer, it's got its upsides. 197 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,588 - You know what I'd rather do? - What? 198 00:12:52,680 --> 00:12:55,353 I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth 199 00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:57,874 from a fucking hot air balloon. 200 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,713 That's me. I'm gonna hit the liquor store over there, 201 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:03,513 get some more of the creature. Meet you back at the Dildomobile in five. 202 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,876 You're paying the check, Alan Douche-owitz. 203 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,951 Where do I know that guy from? He looks so familiar. 204 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:14,349 He looks like Abercrombie fucked Fitch. 205 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:16,550 Mmm, yeah, while J.Crew J'd-off. 206 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:19,029 Shit! No, you guys, he was... It's so funny. 207 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:22,351 He was my lab partner in photography class, freshman year. 208 00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,557 No shit! He's a Florida alum? 209 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,232 Lenore, you can totally finish the trifecta. 210 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:29,914 Oh, my God, I already have alum, remember? 211 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,560 I fucked that crying divorced guy, Tony. 212 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,312 - With the big balls. - Right. Yeah. 213 00:13:34,400 --> 00:13:35,549 - In the porta-potty. - Yeah. 214 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:36,914 - At the tailgate. - Yeah. 215 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000 I need a professor. 216 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:40,116 Wait, I'm sorry. What's the trifecta again? 217 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:42,919 It's this thing I read about 218 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:46,072 where in my senior year I have to fuck a freshman, 219 00:13:46,160 --> 00:13:47,354 an alumni, and a professor. 220 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:49,396 - Where did you read that? - In my diary. 221 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,118 Hmm. 222 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,758 - Where I wrote it... - Yeah. 223 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,513 He used to take the most beautiful portraits 224 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,477 without using any filters or Photoshop... 225 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,438 - I've read your diary. - He was amazing. 226 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:01,555 Oh, my God, you did? 227 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,755 - Yeah. - Did you like it? 228 00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,434 You guys aren't listening. I'm gonna go say hi to him. Okay? 229 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,476 - Slut... - Cool... 230 00:14:07,560 --> 00:14:10,836 I hope you don't get Tommy Hilfingered. 231 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,434 That was really late, but it still counts. 232 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,476 Just like all my periods... 233 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:16,560 - Ew. - What? 234 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:22,834 Hi. How are you? 235 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,639 Good. Here you go, you can keep the change. 236 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:28,354 Oh, no, no, no. I'm not... You... 237 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:32,433 - Uh-huh. - Okay. 238 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:36,749 Um... 239 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:39,798 - Guys? Guys, listen to me. - What? 240 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,438 - Let's go. - Bitch, what? 241 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,192 - Shut the fuck up! Go! - Oh, my God! 242 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:48,034 You all set? 243 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,634 Yeah, I just gave my money to the other waitress, sorry. 244 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:52,790 There is no other waitress. 245 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,714 I'm the only one who's ever worked here. Ever... 246 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:59,314 Shit! The fucking piece of shit car never starts! 247 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,915 Hey! 248 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,629 God, he's like a Mitt Romney Terminator. 249 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:08,233 Excuse me! 250 00:15:08,320 --> 00:15:11,995 Uh, sorry, my shift is actually over, so... Sorry... 251 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,514 - Oh, no way. - What? 252 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,471 - I know you. - No. 253 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,397 Yeah, I do. You were in my photography class. 254 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:20,954 You took all those landscapes. Right? 255 00:15:21,040 --> 00:15:24,749 - Shadia. - Yeah. Shadia. 256 00:15:24,840 --> 00:15:27,149 Holy shit, you're Shadia? 257 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:28,872 - Yeah. Shadia. - Shadia. 258 00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,315 - Jamba! - What the fuck! 259 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:33,994 Shadia. It means "singer" in Arabic. 260 00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:37,430 Or in ancient Arabic, "al-munshida alati tunadi lel-mei." 261 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:40,159 Or, "she whose name calls others to water." 262 00:15:40,240 --> 00:15:42,549 - That's actually right. - Uh, Shadia, this is my... 263 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,154 Dr. Richards. I teach history at the University of Georgia. 264 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,037 You're a professor? 265 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,270 Yeah. Why? You looking for some extra credit? 266 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,470 Jason and I are doing a story on the Middle East. 267 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,471 He's a photographer for Time magazine. 268 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:58,553 You know, I lost my virginity at my pop-pop's bingo night. 269 00:15:58,640 --> 00:15:59,709 My name's Lenore. 270 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:04,794 Ah! "The rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore" 271 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,472 Quoth the Raven, 'Nevermore'" 272 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:12,395 - Diplomaticos, huh? - Hey, you know your cigars. 273 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,960 What are you, half Cuban or something? 274 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:15,792 Actually, I am, professor. 275 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,992 - The bottom half. - Okay. 276 00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,069 Okay, yeah, we're heading out. 277 00:16:22,160 --> 00:16:23,229 - Yeah. - Good to see you. 278 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:24,389 We're going to Daytona Beach for the week. 279 00:16:24,480 --> 00:16:26,914 Oh, my God, and we should have been there three fucking hours ago... 280 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,991 ...so let's go, bitches! 281 00:16:29,080 --> 00:16:30,991 - Holy shit. - What? 282 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,548 Nothing. You're just really gay. 283 00:16:33,640 --> 00:16:37,155 Oh, am I? Thanks, Captain Gaydar. 284 00:16:37,240 --> 00:16:39,595 Jesus! You know, I'm also black, right? 285 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,591 Yeah, I know. That's funny too. 286 00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:44,035 So you guys wanna tag along for a bit maybe? 287 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,793 Party some babies into us? 288 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:48,074 - Absolutely not! - Absolutely not! 289 00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,152 - Why? - We have a very important tee time. 290 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,349 Of course you do. 291 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,192 And do you also have to take a nap before you play Mahjong? 292 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:55,918 - No, it's shuffleboard. - Shuffleboard. 293 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:56,955 And then early dinner at 4:00. 294 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:59,315 We have a long-standing bet. Who's the better golfer. 295 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:01,436 Obviously I've got the bigger 3-wood... 296 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:04,557 Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina. 297 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,437 - Holy shit! - Okay, we're going inside now. 298 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:08,112 - Jesus! - Let's go. That's enough. 299 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,714 - Bye, professor. - Thanks for lunch. 300 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:12,034 Peace! 301 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,671 - Nice girl. - Yeah. 302 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,910 Well? How do I look? 303 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,309 Like the keynote speaker at a butt-fucking convention. 304 00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,392 - What? - What? 305 00:17:37,480 --> 00:17:40,438 We're gonna write in the first hole, it's an easy par-4. 306 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,715 - No, no, no, no. Hey... - Jump in. 307 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,234 - This is against the rules, Grandpa. - Fuck the rules. Jump in. Come on. 308 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,471 Not to mention, a breach in golf etiquette. 309 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:50,312 Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep! 310 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,833 - Whoa! Hey! - Out of my way, butt-fuckers! 311 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:53,319 Really? What are you doing? 312 00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:55,197 We gotta get this guy to his butt-fucking convention. 313 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:57,555 What are you trying to do, man? What was that all about? 314 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,433 Hey. Now there's a million-dollar swing! 315 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,192 I'm sorry! Um... 316 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:06,398 You can go in front of us if you want to. We are not very good. 317 00:18:06,520 --> 00:18:09,592 No, it's a good cut, you're just not bending your knees enough. 318 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,560 I'm a licensed golf pro. You mind if I show you? 319 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,835 Yes, please. 320 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,593 Maybe bend over a little bit... Here. 321 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:18,511 That feels about right, doesn't it? 322 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,637 Hands on my shaft... The shaft. 323 00:18:21,720 --> 00:18:23,790 Let me just get my finger in there. 324 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,350 One, two, three... Oh! 325 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,796 Oh, my God! Did you see that? Thank you! 326 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,512 How long have you been teaching golf? 327 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,830 Ever since I retired from being an astronaut. 328 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:38,833 It's nice to see some heavenly bodies around here too. 329 00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:42,356 Hey, Grandpa, don't you think we should probably start golfing soon... 330 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,715 - What the fuck? - Wanna be a lamb and get that for me? 331 00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,712 - Did he just call you "Grandpa"? - Who, Pepe? 332 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:50,030 He's a retard. Got it pretty bad, too. 333 00:18:50,120 --> 00:18:52,031 He thinks I'm his grandpa. 334 00:18:52,120 --> 00:18:54,714 He usually sits at home just drawing dolphins all day. 335 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,472 We used to let him out on his own, 336 00:18:56,560 --> 00:18:59,677 but the raping got so bad that we just... 337 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:03,518 Got it. 338 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:04,880 - You guys want a refill? - Sure. 339 00:19:04,920 --> 00:19:07,639 - Absolutely! - BRB! 340 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,473 I'm sorry about my grandpa. 341 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,551 He's, um... He's not doing too well. 342 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,393 My grandma just passed and the funeral was yesterday. 343 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,357 Oh... 344 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,398 I'm actually a lawyer, not a retard. 345 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:25,156 I handle of lot of important issues. SEC compliance, 346 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:30,075 LLC agreements. LP agreements. That sort of stuff. 347 00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:33,470 Yeah, um, well, I think we're gonna get going. 348 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:36,916 - Nice to meet you, Pepe. - Nice... 349 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,559 Fuck! 350 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:43,471 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What happened? 351 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,437 Why are they going? What did you do? 352 00:19:45,520 --> 00:19:46,640 What? I told them the truth. 353 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:48,352 I told them that I'm getting married next week, 354 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,193 and you're not well because your wife just died. 355 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,191 What are you, fucking vagina repellent? 356 00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:54,395 Those cougars wanted to party! 357 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:55,913 - They wanted to party? - Yes! 358 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,115 Do you hear yourself? 359 00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,952 Grandpa, are you kidding me right now? Grandma... 360 00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:00,075 I'm trying to listen to myself. 361 00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:03,118 Grandma's funeral was yesterday! Now you wanna hit on college girls? 362 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,794 You're jerking off to porn? 363 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,348 - What's wrong with you? - Jason, I want to fuck! 364 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:09,714 Oh, my God... 365 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,792 For the first time in 40 years I'm single and I want to fuck. 366 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:13,995 I want to fuck 367 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,479 until my dick falls off. 368 00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,711 I want to fuck a horse and I wanna drink its blood! 369 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,800 I'm gonna throw up. 370 00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:23,589 I was faithful to your grandmother every day for 40 years, 371 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,989 even through the menopause, even through the cancer. 372 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:29,237 She was the love of my life. I'll miss her every goddamn day. 373 00:20:29,320 --> 00:20:33,472 But she told me on her deathbed, "You get back out there again." 374 00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,994 I haven't had sex in 15 years, Jason, 375 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,991 and I want to fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! 376 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,274 Oh, so that's what this is all about? 377 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:41,669 This whole thing. You didn't want to be with me. 378 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,153 You wanted me to drive you down to Boca 379 00:20:43,240 --> 00:20:44,468 so I could be your fucking wingman? 380 00:20:44,560 --> 00:20:45,629 Well, obviously I made a bad decision 381 00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:47,358 because you're nothing but a cock-blocking machine. 382 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:50,079 I don't know what you are. You're like the lsraeli Iron Dome defense system, 383 00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:51,752 but with vaginas instead of missiles. 384 00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,160 - What? - You're like some sort of 385 00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:56,317 cock-blocking Terminator sent back from the future to cock-block humans. 386 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,759 - Oh! - The robots should have sent you 387 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,160 instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger, 388 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,515 you could have cock-blocked John Connor's parents 389 00:21:01,600 --> 00:21:03,670 - and he would never have been born! - Shut up, Grandpa! 390 00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:05,079 - Shut up! - What got into you? 391 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,269 I remember you in high school, 392 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:08,351 you were ripping people's dicks off on the football field, 393 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,078 talking about traveling the world! 394 00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,230 Now you're pushing some papers at a fucking law firm 395 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,799 and probably peeing sitting down. 396 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:15,598 Grandpa, I don't know what you thought this weekend was going to be about, 397 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:20,674 but I came here for one reason, to get you to Boca. That's it. 398 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:22,870 - Fine. - Now can I please play some golf? 399 00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,313 - Fucking golf. - Okay. 400 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:25,958 Cocky McBlockerson. 401 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:33,672 What the fuck? 402 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,079 Bam! 403 00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:41,316 Who does your taxes? HandR Cock-block? 404 00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,233 Stop it. 405 00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:50,438 Bam! 406 00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,590 Are you still Jenny from the cock-block? 407 00:21:52,680 --> 00:21:55,148 What the fuck! What is your obsession with my ass? 408 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,993 Your vibrator's on. 409 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:01,391 You can't get into it anyway because you don't know my code. 410 00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,358 Looks like your grandpa remembered your birthday! 411 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:06,715 - What? Give me that! - We're going to fucking Daytona. 412 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:09,995 We're not going to Daytona, 413 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:13,152 because I've got the keys to the golf cart. 414 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,235 What are you doing? 415 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:19,548 Hey. 416 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,598 - How'd you do that? - Coming or staying, Jack Dicklaus? 417 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:24,557 - Grandpa? - Hurry up, Bubba Twatson. 418 00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:26,596 - Grandpa, stop. - Gary Player-with-my-balls. 419 00:22:26,680 --> 00:22:27,680 Stop the cart! 420 00:22:27,760 --> 00:22:29,280 Fred Couples-of-big-dicks-in-your-ass. 421 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:32,591 - Oh, my God. Grandpa! Stop! - Michelle Wies-all-over-my-face. 422 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:55,920 Now, this is what I'm fucking talking about. 423 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,956 This is so fucked up. 424 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:00,713 Calm down, you'll get to hang out with that gypsy girl you like. 425 00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:02,791 - I don't like her. - Oh, yes, you do. 426 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,553 That's why you didn't deny being a photographer for Time magazine. 427 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,632 You can hang out with her, I can have vaginal sex with Lenore. 428 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:11,473 It all works out! We can even go visit my old army buddy, Stinky. 429 00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:13,630 Stinky? 430 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,711 Which tiki bar are they in? 431 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:18,314 Oh, shit. Shit. Shit. 432 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:19,833 - What's that? - It's Meredith. 433 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:21,757 - Please, I've got to answer that. - Ah, tell her to fuck off. 434 00:23:21,840 --> 00:23:22,875 Grandpa! 435 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:25,428 I'm just gonna check the testosterone levels on your phone first. 436 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:26,839 Grandpa, give me my phone now! 437 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,478 Just as I thought. Pretty low. 438 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,471 This is Meredith calling... Shit! 439 00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,120 Now, look what you did, you dropped it in the car's vagina. 440 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:35,031 God damn it, I have to put it on speaker. 441 00:23:35,120 --> 00:23:37,588 - Don't say anything. - I will not say a word. 442 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,989 Ballbags! 443 00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,674 Hey! Who was that? 444 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,478 No one. We're in a restaurant. Sorry. 445 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:45,560 "Who's that?" 446 00:23:45,640 --> 00:23:48,916 - What's up? - Okay... Well, I really want them 447 00:23:49,000 --> 00:23:50,280 to post our wedding announcement 448 00:23:50,360 --> 00:23:53,432 on the New York Times website before our rehearsal brunch Friday, 449 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,317 so I just wanted to run your section back to you. 450 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:57,436 Yeah, you know, now's really not a good time... 451 00:23:57,520 --> 00:24:00,273 Jason? Can we just do this please? 452 00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,669 "Can we do this now?" 453 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:07,880 - "Jason Richard Kelly, son of..." - Doctor Smegma Von BoxMunchers." 454 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:12,875 "David and Brooke, is a junior associate at the law firm of..." 455 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:16,714 - "Cream pie fart and donkey punch!" - Okay, who is that? 456 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,190 It's no one. It's a waiter with pretty bad Tourette's, I think... 457 00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:24,393 He just keeps walking by yelling weird shit, I don't know why... 458 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,074 Okay, well, what restaurant are you at? 459 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,390 - I can barely even hear you now. - We're at Chuck E. Cheese's... 460 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,517 Daytona fucking Beach! 461 00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:35,512 Daytona fucking Beach! You're right, buddy! 462 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,194 - You're in Daytona Beach? - Uh... 463 00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,475 Listen, we're just driving through Daytona Beach. 464 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,437 - We're en route to Grandpa's... - Jason! 465 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:43,873 I don't know why you're there, 466 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,719 but you'd better call me from your grandfather's house 467 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,234 - when you get there tonight, okay? - Of course, baby. 468 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,117 I love you so much... 469 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,191 - Fuck! - Marriage is hard. 470 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:54,679 What'd the hot college girls text back? 471 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:56,751 Grandpa, what are you texting them? 472 00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,068 - I just texted them. - What are you texting them? 473 00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,912 "We'll meet you on the beach." 474 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:03,515 Yeah, and I added the emoji with the wink and the tongue out. 475 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,636 I'm not kidding, Grandpa. 476 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,359 You realize that if I don't call her from your house in Boca tonight, 477 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:09,953 I'm fucked, man, I'm fucked. 478 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,271 Jesus. Sounds like you're marrying your fucking parole officer. 479 00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:15,828 It's just Meredith. It's the way she is, man. 480 00:25:15,920 --> 00:25:20,198 She just gets, like, anxious when she doesn't know exactly where I am. 481 00:25:20,280 --> 00:25:22,475 Don't panic. It's organic. 482 00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:24,596 Yeah, I know. Couples get in fights all the time. 483 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,114 But it's different with Meredith. She takes it to another level, man, 484 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,589 and I'm telling you, if I don't call her from your house in Boca, I'm screwed. 485 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,910 Well, ain't nobody got time for that. 486 00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,355 Yeah, I know. Clearly. 487 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:36,954 Which is why I don't understand how we got so far off schedule. 488 00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,474 Oh... Sometimes life is just a fart zone, 489 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,272 and you enter at your own risk. 490 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:46,033 Have you been reading shit off the shot glasses and the shirts in here 491 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,951 and just saying it like it's wisdom? 492 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,632 I was seriously trying to talk to you, man. 493 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,233 Do you realize the stakes here? 494 00:25:51,360 --> 00:25:53,351 - You're ridiculous! - Smile. 495 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,000 You've had a phone this entire fucking time? 496 00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,513 What else don't I know about you? 497 00:25:57,600 --> 00:25:59,636 How the hell do you know how to speak Arabic? 498 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,472 Dad's never said anything about that. 499 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,630 That's because your dad doesn't really know much about me. 500 00:26:03,720 --> 00:26:05,840 I was away with the army during most of his childhood. 501 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:10,112 - So we were never that close. - Is that why he doesn't like you? 502 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,399 Anybody work here? 503 00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,436 Okay, everybody on the fucking floor! 504 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:22,435 This is a goddamn robbery! On the fucking ground! 505 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,518 Oh, my God, you should see your faces! 506 00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:29,989 I just went out to grab lunch and a new horse mask. 507 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:32,878 I left mine at the beach the other day. Whoo! 508 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:35,713 I thought you were gonna shit your pants, little guy. 509 00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:39,475 - Gun's real though. - What the fuck, man! 510 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:41,869 Relax, this is Florida. 511 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:43,916 Everything's a licensed gun range. 512 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,031 You just shot through a wall, man! 513 00:26:46,120 --> 00:26:47,553 - Hey... - There's pedestrians outside! 514 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,599 Yeah, again, it's Florida! These people don't matter. 515 00:26:51,680 --> 00:26:55,229 - What? - So? Welcome to Tam Pam Surf Slam. 516 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,356 What can I do for you gentlemen? I'm Pam. 517 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:59,396 - You're Pam? - Yeah. It's a nickname. 518 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:01,118 Real name's Pamela. 519 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:06,192 Hey, no, guys! Absolutely not! 520 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:12,196 I will not ever sell you drugs out of this establishment! 521 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:13,759 We didn't ask you to sell us drugs. 522 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:15,553 Okay, cool. You're not cops. 523 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:20,270 In which case, welcome to drugs! 524 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,271 - Oh, my God. - Now, I'm pretty cool, 525 00:27:22,360 --> 00:27:24,396 so I only sell the stuff that occurs naturally. 526 00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,914 So I got weed, I got mushrooms, I got meth. 527 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,393 - Meth? - Yeah. 528 00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:29,480 How is that natural? 529 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:31,750 Well, it occurs naturally in my cousin's basement in Baltimore, 530 00:27:31,840 --> 00:27:34,229 if you know what I mean. 531 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:39,075 Okay, fine, drugs aren't your thing. Got it. Message received. 532 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:43,199 In which case, listen, we got a great local charity here. Pam's Kids. 533 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:45,794 - What's Pam's Kids? - It's my kids. 534 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,950 I got four kids by six different women. 535 00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:50,031 I know, the numbers don't add up. 536 00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,759 Most of 'em are pretty developmentally disabled. 537 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:55,035 One of 'em you gotta push around in a weird chair. 538 00:27:55,120 --> 00:27:59,113 Heyo! Now that is the generosity of the human spirit, 539 00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:01,998 and I appreciate that. Some of this money's gonna feed my kids, 540 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,355 some of it's gonna get me a blowjob by a toothless whore 541 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:06,192 behind a Dumpster down at the McDonald's. 542 00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:37,799 - Hey. - Hey. 543 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:39,074 Hi, professor. 544 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:41,310 Well, there's the prettiest little girl on the beach. 545 00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:43,709 - Thank you. - I was actually talking to him. 546 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:47,713 Yup! Immediately offensive. I'm going back to the hotel. 547 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,394 Just try not to join the cast of Rent on the way back! 548 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,637 So we got the professor, you got the millionaire. 549 00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:56,950 How's the rest of the Gilligan's Island cast? 550 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:58,109 We're good. 551 00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,474 - Yeah? - Yeah, everyone's good. 552 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,400 - Well, that's good. - Copacetic on the island. 553 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:03,554 How are those washed-out pictures you're taking 554 00:29:03,640 --> 00:29:05,153 because you still have the lighting optimizer on? 555 00:29:05,240 --> 00:29:06,673 They're not... Where is that? 556 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:11,311 Actually, it's really hypersensitive on the new 60D model. 557 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:12,515 So you have to... 558 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:14,113 - Wait. What is that? - Okay, nope. 559 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:16,430 - What are you doing? - Give it back, Malibu Ken. 560 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:17,669 - No... - What? 561 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:19,955 You did it. You turned into one of those people. 562 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,476 I turned into one of those people that gives a shit about something? 563 00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:24,913 Are you gonna chain yourself to a polar bear? 564 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:28,276 Only if you let me borrow... What is this, a beach sweater? 565 00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:31,158 - Yeah. - What, did you just come from skiing? 566 00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,835 Yeah, I skied in, just to see you save the world. 567 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,669 - One Jell-O shot at a time. - High-five! 568 00:29:38,760 --> 00:29:40,591 You want me to do your back? 569 00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:42,671 Only if you promise to do my front first. 570 00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:44,279 Gladly. 571 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:47,193 Oh. Whoops! 572 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:49,111 That never usually happens. 573 00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:51,031 Really? It happens to me all the time. 574 00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:53,714 Well, guess who just took a shit in the water? 575 00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:55,597 We've been looking for you bitches all day. 576 00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:59,036 - Where the fuck have you been? - Uh, our car broke down in Orlando. 577 00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:00,678 Do you ever look at your cell phone? 578 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,320 Awesome. Who are these cunt punches? 579 00:30:03,400 --> 00:30:06,312 These are our friends that we met on the way down. 580 00:30:06,400 --> 00:30:09,233 - Yeah. - That's Cody and Brah. 581 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:11,311 They're on the lacrosse team at Florida. 582 00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:13,868 - This guy plays lacrosse? - All-conference, brah! 583 00:30:13,960 --> 00:30:16,076 Yeah? Which one, the fucking Diabetes Conference? 584 00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:20,276 All right, we're about to boat race a bunch of those fucks 585 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,828 from the University of Georgia up in the room. So... 586 00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,751 Oh, my God! University of Georgia! 587 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:27,308 - No way! You're a Hornet? - Afraid so. 588 00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:32,155 Well, you guys should get in there then, Edward Jizzumhands. 589 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:34,117 Well, thank you. We will. 590 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,158 Good, that's great. I'll see you up there. 591 00:30:37,240 --> 00:30:40,596 Oh, good. Well, you say we'll be there and on time. 592 00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,353 - Sweet. I will. - Yeah. Yeah, let's do that. 593 00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:44,714 - No, we should. - Let's do it now. 594 00:30:44,800 --> 00:30:46,472 - Yeah, I'll see you up there. - What... 595 00:30:46,560 --> 00:30:51,076 Come to the hotel. By the pool. Georgia sucks! 596 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:54,749 Can we please just go? They've got boyfriends. 597 00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:57,070 Those meatdick fucks? They're not their boyfriends. 598 00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:58,752 They're just seniors, 599 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,796 and they're all just terrified and speed-fucking each other 600 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,115 before the ship goes down. Didn't you ever go on Spring Break? 601 00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:06,431 No, I didn't go to Spring Break, 'cause I was studying for law school. 602 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,988 Besides, I can't chug alcohol anymore like I used to, Grandpa. 603 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,116 I've developed, like, a gag reflex. 604 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,713 - A gag reflex? - Yeah. 605 00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,439 You're chugging a beer, not taking down a horse cock, Jason. 606 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,152 Come on. 607 00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,993 - Go Hornets! - Go Hornets, yeah... 608 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:32,071 Hey, you know, one in three of these girls has herpes. 609 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,633 Even if you can't see it. 610 00:31:33,720 --> 00:31:35,438 Oh, Jesus. Nut the fuck up. 611 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:37,875 It's just a college party, you nance. Chill! 612 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,036 Hey, here they are. 613 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:43,157 I'm gonna get some beers. What about you, twinkle toes? 614 00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,993 You want some of dat drank? Some of dat purple drank? 615 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:50,517 Some of dat purple-ass muthafuckin' pimp-dick drank? 616 00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:54,229 Who the fuck are you? 617 00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,675 It's a pretty rockin' party. 618 00:31:59,760 --> 00:32:01,512 Whoo. 619 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,149 Who let the dogs out? Am I right? 620 00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:21,951 Sir, before we start, would you prefer if we gave you a spritzer to chug? 621 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,996 - Ah... - Maybe a Pinot Noir? 622 00:32:29,040 --> 00:32:32,112 You're going down, old man. Nobody chugs like me. 623 00:32:32,200 --> 00:32:35,317 I bet. You've been chugging Brah's cum for years. 624 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:39,638 Let's go. 625 00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:45,156 Chug! 626 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:48,038 Chug! Chug! 627 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:49,838 Chug! 628 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:55,392 Go! Go! Chug! 629 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:53,998 It's actually kind of fun. 630 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:03,955 Yeah, I'm not really, you know, for sure... 631 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:05,792 ...per say... 632 00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,711 ...what we're doing after graduation. 633 00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,916 I mean, 634 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,036 - we have offers to play... - Blah, blah, blah... 635 00:34:12,120 --> 00:34:13,712 ...professional lacrosse in Europe, 636 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:16,234 - but a bunch of agents - Words, words, words... 637 00:34:16,320 --> 00:34:18,038 also want us to start modeling, so... 638 00:34:18,160 --> 00:34:20,799 And again, we're talking about this fat fuck right here? 639 00:34:20,880 --> 00:34:25,317 You guys... Uh, you have to come see this right now. 640 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:45,031 All right, our team won! 641 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,999 Let's celebrate by buying local drugs 642 00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:52,675 from a reputable, local drug dealer. 643 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:55,513 Hey, what are you doing here? 644 00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:56,999 I'm selling drugs, man. 645 00:34:57,080 --> 00:34:58,760 I'm trying to put my kid through preschool. 646 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,513 How honest is that! 647 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,876 Touching my face a lot, bro. Touching my face a whole lot, man. 648 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:07,030 Why don't you take some of this. This'Il mellow you out. 649 00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,190 - What is it? - E-cig, bro. 650 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,635 "E" is for "Weed"! 651 00:35:11,720 --> 00:35:15,315 Sure, why not? 652 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:20,235 Yeah, ooh, that's a big... That's a big one. 653 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:23,118 Oh! 654 00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,236 Whoo! 655 00:35:25,320 --> 00:35:28,392 Just be glad you didn't smoke this, man. This is crack! 656 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:30,238 - What? - Oh, yeah! 657 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,278 This one... Oh, wait a minute... 658 00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:37,188 Maybe that one's crack and this one's weed. 659 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:39,880 Hang on. What'd you do now, Pam? 660 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,872 Fuck. Hold on. Which one's crack? 661 00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:47,238 Okay. I got this. Don't freak out. 662 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,675 Sorry to worry you, man. You're not gonna believe this. 663 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,832 - They're both crack. - What? 664 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:56,919 And you have taken an amount that will probably kill you in about 30 minutes. 665 00:35:57,000 --> 00:36:00,709 - I just smoked crack? - Yeah. But just, like, a lot. 666 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,995 I just smoked crack. 667 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:07,911 I just smoked crack! 668 00:36:11,520 --> 00:36:14,080 USA! USA! 669 00:36:14,160 --> 00:36:16,799 USA! USA! 670 00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:20,589 Told you. 671 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,031 He's fine. He's just a little drunk. 672 00:36:24,160 --> 00:36:27,516 Whoo! 673 00:36:28,440 --> 00:36:31,557 Everybody loves crack! 674 00:36:31,640 --> 00:36:34,837 Bee loves crack. Bee loves some crack. 675 00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:37,110 We should probably go help him. 676 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,793 Sting? You're stung! 677 00:36:45,400 --> 00:36:47,675 Oh, shit, I just found my queen. 678 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,228 All right. 679 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:54,279 Okay, let's help him. 680 00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,396 Excuse me. Jason! 681 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:01,358 - Hey, Jason. - Jason. 682 00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,198 - Jason. - Jason. 683 00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:09,239 Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo. 684 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:15,551 I'm gonna live forever! 685 00:37:22,040 --> 00:37:24,190 Party on! 686 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:39,873 Oh, shit! 687 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,150 One, two, three... 688 00:37:44,280 --> 00:37:46,840 - Hello? - Where the fuck have you been? 689 00:37:46,920 --> 00:37:50,993 Uh... we got to Grandpa's a little bit later than we thought last night, 690 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:54,237 and my phone charger wasn't working. 691 00:37:54,320 --> 00:37:55,548 Well, you know we missed the deadline 692 00:37:55,640 --> 00:37:57,676 for our wedding announcement to be in the Times. 693 00:37:57,760 --> 00:37:59,876 Where are you? Are you close? 694 00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:04,351 Um... Listen, Grandpa got really upset last night. 695 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,911 So I'm just getting a little bit of a late jump here. 696 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,752 I want to show you the bouquets for the bridesmaids. 697 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:12,034 So switch to FaceTime, okay? 698 00:38:12,120 --> 00:38:15,476 Shit! Baby, the reception at Grandpa's isn't very good... 699 00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:18,870 - Jason, just fucking do it! - Okay, one second. Switching over. 700 00:38:18,960 --> 00:38:21,793 Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! 701 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,871 Is that sand on your face? 702 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:26,872 It's just sawdust because I was helping Grandpa in the garage, so... 703 00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:29,872 I naturally got the dust of the saw on the face. 704 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:32,349 - Hi, honey. - Jason. 705 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:37,230 - Mom? Dad? - Is that writing on your face? 706 00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:41,233 Oh! I was working on my vows late last night and... 707 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,833 Hmm... 708 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:46,799 And I fell asleep and I got some pen on my face, so... 709 00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:49,155 Yeah, that must be the exact thing that happened. 710 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:52,038 Yeah, Meredith called us because she hadn't heard from you all night. 711 00:38:52,240 --> 00:38:54,390 We got the rabbi here to work on the vows. 712 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,798 - Boker tov, Jason. - Hey. Shalom. 713 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:02,838 No, Jason, really... What is on your forehead? 714 00:39:02,920 --> 00:39:06,913 It's a swastika of penises. 715 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:08,399 No, that's not what it is. 716 00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:11,950 Acting as a pinwheel of ejaculate... 717 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,634 No, no, no, it's a FaceTime effect. 718 00:39:14,720 --> 00:39:16,240 All the kids are using them these days. 719 00:39:16,400 --> 00:39:18,038 There's a Hanukkah one. See? 720 00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,998 I don't like that one as much as the swastika full of dicks. 721 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:26,356 Okay, let's discuss the wedding vows. 722 00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:29,557 Jason, why don't you begin by telling us all 723 00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,074 what it is you like about Meredith. 724 00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:35,391 Yeah, where do I start? She's... 725 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:38,790 - Hello. - Uh... 726 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:42,429 - Hello, buzzy bee. - What? 727 00:39:42,600 --> 00:39:44,989 If you can't think of anything, lean into them looks, dawg. 728 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:46,991 Can I touch buzzy bee? 729 00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,638 I've loved her for... No, you can't touch buzzy bee! 730 00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:52,793 Um... I love the way that she, um... 731 00:39:52,880 --> 00:39:56,475 What are you doing? Stop it! Go away! 732 00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:58,630 You're getting me in... Fuck, go away! 733 00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:00,358 - Your buzzy bee looks so fluffy! - What did he say? 734 00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:03,637 - I just don't know where to start. - Let me touch buzzy bee! 735 00:40:03,720 --> 00:40:05,312 - You can't have the bee! - What? 736 00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:06,992 I want to stroke the bee! 737 00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:08,600 You can't stroke the bee! Okay? 738 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,711 - I want to kiss buzzy bee! - You can't kiss the bee! 739 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:13,313 I love the way that she kisses. 740 00:40:13,400 --> 00:40:15,470 - Ow! Kid! - Hey! 741 00:40:15,600 --> 00:40:17,158 - Oh, my God... - Hey! 742 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:18,195 - Fucking pervert! - Oh, no. 743 00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,840 I got to go right now. I'm sorry. I love you. Bye! 744 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,831 No, no, no! Jason! Jason! 745 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:25,229 Come on. I told you to stay with us. 746 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,399 - He let me stroke it. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! 747 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:31,311 Hold on! He's talking about a pee... A bee. 748 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,517 - A little stuffed bee. - What bee? 749 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,828 There was a bee here, man! 750 00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:38,514 It was so soft. He let me kiss it. 751 00:40:38,600 --> 00:40:40,750 No, I did not let you kiss it! What are you talking about? 752 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:42,720 - He did not even... Ahh! - You're fucking dead! 753 00:40:42,800 --> 00:40:44,677 Dad, that was cool! 754 00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:48,435 Oh, shit! 755 00:41:12,160 --> 00:41:15,038 Could I have some pants? Please... 756 00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:19,398 Oh, Jesus Christ, I'm so sorry. Of course. 757 00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:22,711 Yeah, absolutely. 758 00:41:22,800 --> 00:41:26,315 You want khakis or sweatpants? 759 00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:29,437 - Khakis, please. - What brand? You like Dockers? 760 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:32,273 - Yeah. - Yeah, okay. All right. 761 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:36,433 You're like a 30... 762 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,238 Yeah, 30 is fine. 763 00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,550 What I wouldn't give to fit in a 30. 764 00:41:40,640 --> 00:41:44,838 Maybe 20 years ago, you know? When I was seven years old. 765 00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,514 Yeah... all right. 766 00:41:47,600 --> 00:41:49,750 Also I'm gonna step out and get some lunch. 767 00:41:49,840 --> 00:41:50,909 Do you want a sandwich? 768 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,673 I would love a sandwich. 769 00:41:53,760 --> 00:41:56,194 - Ham? Turkey? - Turkey? 770 00:41:56,280 --> 00:41:59,477 Turkey. That's so funny, because I'm a turkey guy myself. 771 00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:01,869 - You know. - Thank you so much. 772 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,678 Okay, absolutely. You want mayo on that? 773 00:42:03,760 --> 00:42:05,512 - Uh, no thank you, no. - Okay. 774 00:42:05,600 --> 00:42:07,591 - Extra veggies. - Extra veggies? 775 00:42:07,680 --> 00:42:09,591 - Yes, please. - You got it. Absolutely. 776 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:10,760 - And... - Salt and vinegar. 777 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,553 - You want salt and vinegar as well? - Yeah, thank you. 778 00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:15,631 You gotta watch that sodium. 779 00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:17,400 That's what drives your blood pressure up, 780 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:19,237 and blood pressure is a silent killer. 781 00:42:19,320 --> 00:42:22,437 All right, turkey, okay... all right. 782 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:24,915 Yeah. And, uh, finally, 783 00:42:25,000 --> 00:42:29,232 do you want to be sodomized by a man with the mental age of seven 784 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:30,878 who calls himself Ping-Pong, 785 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:34,953 or do you want to be shivved by, uh, the same guy? 786 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,556 Just let me know what time works for you, 'cause you're in fucking jail. 787 00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:47,351 All right. Gary, I'm all done. It's late. 788 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,876 - I gotta go open the store, buddy. - I know, but you tried to sell peyote 789 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:55,317 - to middle schoolers. - What? Come on. It's me. Pam! 790 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:59,279 Don't be a dick. Come on! I just had watery diarrhea, 791 00:42:59,360 --> 00:43:01,920 I want to get out of here. It stinks. 792 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,309 It does stink. 793 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:05,992 All right, let's get you out of there. 794 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:10,039 All right! Whoo! I don't like being in a cage. 795 00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,554 You're letting him out? He's the one that sold drugs. 796 00:43:12,640 --> 00:43:15,359 - Why are you letting him out? - Hey, man! Not cool! 797 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:17,556 That's a real dick move, throwing me under the bus. 798 00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:18,993 What the fuck are you talking about? 799 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:20,832 You're the one that sold drugs last night! 800 00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:24,595 - Hey, guy, snitches get stitches! - All right. 801 00:43:24,680 --> 00:43:26,557 So why don't you shut your fucking mouth, bro. 802 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,474 Yeah. Snitches get stitches, my friend. 803 00:43:30,560 --> 00:43:33,074 My name's Pam. 804 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,435 - All right. - You're incorrigible. 805 00:43:35,520 --> 00:43:38,353 - Hey, how are you, Finch? - How you doing? Good to see you. 806 00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,000 - Finchy! Finch! - Hey! You got it. 807 00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,160 Must beautiful woman on the police force, right here. 808 00:43:43,240 --> 00:43:45,993 - Jeez! - The only woman, but... 809 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:47,308 - Here's the deal. - What's up? 810 00:43:47,400 --> 00:43:50,756 I came in here with a bag of drugs, I'm not gonna lie to you. 811 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:53,559 I can't leave without it. 812 00:43:53,640 --> 00:43:55,551 - Can you guys hook me up there? - Yep... 813 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,437 - Ooh! Gary! - These yours? 814 00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:00,239 - Yeah. Thanks, Gare-Bear. - Oh! Nice catch. 815 00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:03,312 Hey, right? Please remember, next Tuesday is the election. 816 00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:05,550 Vote for me for mayor. I'm gonna win this year. 817 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:07,756 - I'm gonna beat that goat. - You got my vote. 818 00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:11,549 Pam! Pam! 819 00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,632 - He is just a good one. - He is just a number one... 820 00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:17,678 - Lover and a fighter. - Okay, listen. 821 00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,918 Guys, I really respect the job you guys do. 822 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,240 I'm being completely honest, from the bottom of my heart, 823 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:27,192 I look up to you. I fight for the law. 824 00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:28,395 Thank you, no one ever says that to us. 825 00:44:28,480 --> 00:44:30,038 - Ever. - That's what I wanted to do 826 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:31,235 when I was a kid. 827 00:44:31,320 --> 00:44:32,912 Like, I wanted to do what you guys do. 828 00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:36,709 Mostly people just call us pigs and throw bags of fast food at us. 829 00:44:36,800 --> 00:44:38,756 - Yeah. - I'm incredibly sorry 830 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:40,319 for all this confusion, but listen to me, please. 831 00:44:40,400 --> 00:44:43,278 I have to let you know, I am a lawyer. 832 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:47,114 - Whoa! You're a lawyer? - I am, yeah. I'm actually a lawyer. 833 00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:49,794 Whoa! You don't look like a lawyer. 834 00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,269 Yeah. Yeah, I handle, like, uh, corporate stuff. 835 00:44:52,360 --> 00:44:56,239 Like, uh... like LLC agreements, 836 00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:57,309 - LP agreements... - You lost me. 837 00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,437 - I don't even know what that means. - I mean, like, you... 838 00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:02,078 - ...you don't look Jewish. - No. 839 00:45:02,160 --> 00:45:04,594 - Which is weird. - It's actually pretty funny. 840 00:45:04,720 --> 00:45:07,518 There you go... 841 00:45:07,640 --> 00:45:11,110 That is funny! It is so weird! 842 00:45:11,200 --> 00:45:12,792 - It's darkly ironic. - It really is. 843 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:15,110 Yes, exactly. Dark irony. 844 00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:18,556 I thought you had to be, like, at least 80 to be a lawyer. 845 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:21,029 - Like, it's a lot of school, right? - Yeah. 846 00:45:21,120 --> 00:45:23,588 It's... it's, uh... it's a lot of school. 847 00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:27,434 The bar... something I took and passed. 848 00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,909 It's not something I stand behind. 849 00:45:30,120 --> 00:45:34,079 Yeah. I'm not on this side, typically, 850 00:45:34,160 --> 00:45:37,470 and I just, uh, I just... I know my rights, 851 00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:38,800 and I would love my phone call. 852 00:45:38,920 --> 00:45:40,148 - Objection. - Overruled. 853 00:45:40,240 --> 00:45:42,913 - Permission to approach the bench? - Denied! 854 00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,673 - What? - It's easy to be a lawyer. 855 00:45:45,760 --> 00:45:48,877 - It's so easy. - I would love my phone call. 856 00:45:48,960 --> 00:45:52,509 Okay. I know my rights. 857 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:54,955 - I want my phone call. - Give me my phone call! 858 00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,713 - I should have a phone call! - This is my First Amendment right. 859 00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,997 My first, page one, number one amendment 860 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,355 - says that I have a telephone! - I get a phone call. 861 00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:06,597 - This is my First Amendment right. - I'm guaranteed a phone call. 862 00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,870 - I don't sound like that. - Yeah? 863 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:11,996 - What do you sound like then? - Not like that. 864 00:46:12,120 --> 00:46:15,476 I don't even sound like that. 865 00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:18,074 - Give me my phone call. - Oh, please, let me 866 00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:19,912 have my phone call. 867 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,514 I'm an American and I'm fucking guaranteed... 868 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,397 I am an American... 869 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:26,357 I am guaranteed a phone call. 870 00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:29,910 My right to have a phone call! 871 00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:35,115 I just said I'm an American, and I'm guaranteed a phone call. 872 00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:37,475 - Hm. Well, now he's getting demanding. - Yeah. 873 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:40,154 - We better give him his phone call. - Better give him his phone call. 874 00:46:40,240 --> 00:46:44,028 - Guys, come on. Come on, please. - Why are we doing this? 875 00:46:44,120 --> 00:46:45,872 This is your phone right here, right? 876 00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:49,032 - That is my phone, yes. - Well, you know what? 877 00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:52,038 We get to make one phone call on your phone. 878 00:46:52,160 --> 00:46:53,673 That's where you're a little bit mixed up. 879 00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:55,557 Yeah, hopefully, you're not out of "framily" minutes. 880 00:46:55,640 --> 00:46:57,870 - No, no, no. - Get a free Uber ride on that. 881 00:46:58,000 --> 00:46:59,399 - Go ahead. - Take us out to lunch. 882 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:02,916 You know what? We're gonna be kind and set you up with a Tinder account. 883 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:05,309 - How about Grindr? What about, uh... - Look at this! 884 00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,630 - Jefe, is that how you pronounce that? - Yeah, how about Jefe. 885 00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:10,069 Yeah, huh? A little alone time with Jefe? 886 00:47:10,160 --> 00:47:13,675 He'd like some light conversation and heavy petting, 887 00:47:13,760 --> 00:47:15,432 - flirting, flirtations. - He looks thick and lonely. 888 00:47:15,560 --> 00:47:18,836 You will meet him at eight. You'll bring wine coolers. 889 00:47:18,920 --> 00:47:24,552 And... children's condoms. 890 00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:27,393 - Just gonna take a little picture. - Snatch-chat. 891 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:29,357 - Yeah, a little Snatch-chat. - Please don't do that with my phone. 892 00:47:29,440 --> 00:47:30,714 Hope you got a wide-angle lens on that. 893 00:47:30,800 --> 00:47:33,598 Oh! Wow. 894 00:47:33,680 --> 00:47:35,830 Kidding. 895 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:41,556 Somebody just posted his bail. Get that pervert some pants. 896 00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,278 All right. 897 00:47:43,360 --> 00:47:45,112 These were a couple pair of pants 898 00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:49,557 from murder victims from a 1990s orgy gone bad. 899 00:47:49,640 --> 00:47:53,349 We got semen-stained or blood-stained. 900 00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:56,034 Take your pick. What's it gonna be? 901 00:47:57,160 --> 00:47:59,355 - Blood. - Semen it is. 902 00:48:01,800 --> 00:48:04,633 - Hey, there he is. - No. 903 00:48:04,720 --> 00:48:06,312 Don't even fucking talk to me. 904 00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:11,076 I know things got a little chaotic, but I'm so close with Lenore... 905 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:12,838 What the fuck is wrong with you? 906 00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,229 I'm about to get fucking married, Grandpa! 907 00:48:15,320 --> 00:48:19,154 In one week! To a Jewish girl! And I just woke up in fucking jail 908 00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:24,792 with a bunch of penises on my forehead in the shape of a swastika! 909 00:48:24,920 --> 00:48:27,275 Could call it a swasticock. 910 00:48:27,440 --> 00:48:30,477 - What? - It's a play on words. 911 00:48:30,560 --> 00:48:32,073 Oh, it's a play on words. 912 00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,231 A play on words. 913 00:48:36,520 --> 00:48:37,953 Play on these words. 914 00:48:38,040 --> 00:48:41,794 I'm dropping you off at your old army vet buddy's house, 915 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:43,677 he's gonna drive you to fucking Boca. 916 00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:45,876 Because I'm fucking done with you. 917 00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,590 - What the fuck are you looking at? - I can't help staring at your tits. 918 00:48:54,080 --> 00:48:56,548 - Pow! - What the fuck is wrong with you? 919 00:49:01,200 --> 00:49:03,350 You know, Stinky had more confirmed kills 920 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:07,353 than anyone in our platoon back in 'Nam? 118. 921 00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:08,509 Shut the fuck up. 922 00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:13,952 - What is this place? - I don't know. Or care. 923 00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:15,240 At least just come in with me. 924 00:49:15,320 --> 00:49:17,197 Let's make sure it's the right house. 925 00:49:17,280 --> 00:49:19,111 After you. 926 00:49:19,200 --> 00:49:21,270 Grandson of the year. 927 00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,158 Your grandmother's ashes are in there. 928 00:49:26,680 --> 00:49:28,636 She's in a coffin. Fuck you! 929 00:49:31,000 --> 00:49:34,037 Oh, well, better late than never. 930 00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,554 Yeah! Fuck them up, ALF! 931 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,392 Motherfucker! 932 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,516 Stinky? 933 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:43,478 What the fuck are you doing here, Dick? 934 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:46,471 Oh, this? 935 00:49:46,560 --> 00:49:49,120 This is liver failure. 936 00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:55,071 - Who's the lesbian? - That's my grandson, Jason. 937 00:49:55,160 --> 00:49:59,153 Yeah? Is he here to scissor with me? 938 00:49:59,240 --> 00:50:00,912 Okay, that's just offensive to lesbians. 939 00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:04,390 I am very sorry, K.D. Lang. 940 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:06,431 Time for Bingo! 941 00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:08,909 Come on. Stinky, we got to get you the fuck out of here. 942 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:12,675 - Come on, let's go. - I have one fucking month left, Dick! 943 00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,638 I don't want you to remember me like this, man. 944 00:50:15,720 --> 00:50:18,439 I want you to remember me as a warrior. 945 00:50:18,520 --> 00:50:21,432 - Please. Leave me be. - But, Stinky... 946 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,590 No, no, no... Just let me finish, Dick. 947 00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:29,437 Leave me your beautiful lesbian grandson so he can blowjob me to death. 948 00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:35,873 It's all over for me, Dick. 949 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:40,795 You know, all I wanna do is play Bingo. 950 00:50:40,880 --> 00:50:42,359 Go. 951 00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:45,713 All ready? 952 00:50:49,000 --> 00:50:51,560 Bingo! 953 00:50:57,560 --> 00:51:00,836 I'm sorry about your friend, Grandpa. 954 00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:02,831 So it comes to this. 955 00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:07,556 Even before you die, you just stop living, 956 00:51:07,640 --> 00:51:10,712 and it's all one fucked-up facsimile of the real thing. 957 00:51:16,560 --> 00:51:19,120 We have to go back. 958 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:20,792 Yeah. I know. 959 00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:25,675 - I'll drive us home. - Not Atlanta. Daytona. 960 00:51:27,600 --> 00:51:29,511 - What? - I have to fuck that girl, Jason. 961 00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:32,194 - Jesus, Grandpa! - I do. I have to fuck her. 962 00:51:32,280 --> 00:51:35,078 Grandpa, you're just depressed. 963 00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,151 You're confused right now because of Grandma. 964 00:51:37,280 --> 00:51:39,430 Grandma wanted me to do this. 965 00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:41,670 - What? - Yeah. She said when she died, 966 00:51:41,760 --> 00:51:44,638 she wanted me to move on and live my life the way I wanted to, 967 00:51:44,720 --> 00:51:46,199 and right now, you know what I want to do? 968 00:51:46,280 --> 00:51:48,475 I want to get my dick sucked by that fucking college girl! 969 00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:50,516 What is that going to do for you? 970 00:51:50,600 --> 00:51:52,280 Is that going to make you feel young again? 971 00:51:52,360 --> 00:51:55,113 - Yeah! Yeah, what's wrong with that? - Yeah? 972 00:51:55,200 --> 00:51:57,555 Feeling young again? What do I have? 973 00:51:57,640 --> 00:51:59,471 A dead wife, dying friends. 974 00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:01,710 A few fucking good years left if I'm lucky. 975 00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:05,509 And you know what? It fucking freaks me out! 976 00:52:05,640 --> 00:52:07,198 Yeah. 977 00:52:08,800 --> 00:52:12,076 Look, I don't expect you to understand. You're young. 978 00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:15,470 You have a long, long time before you have to look into that abyss. 979 00:52:15,560 --> 00:52:19,599 But the way I see it, having sex with that girl is my last stand. 980 00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:22,035 And I can't do it without you. 981 00:52:22,120 --> 00:52:28,434 So I'm asking you. Please, Jason, just stay one more day so I can do this. 982 00:52:28,520 --> 00:52:30,715 Please. 983 00:52:35,480 --> 00:52:39,519 Okay, Daytona Beach! Who's ready for a Flex Off! 984 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:44,390 I'm talking about dudes getting on stage, getting ripped! 985 00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:46,869 Yeah! 986 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:48,951 Yes, I'll be home tomorrow. I promise. 987 00:52:49,040 --> 00:52:50,996 And I know... Yes, 988 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,911 I know the dinner is important to the firm... 989 00:52:53,000 --> 00:52:56,754 Hold on, I'm getting another call. It might be Meredith. Okay? Bye. 990 00:52:56,840 --> 00:52:58,398 - Hello? - Hey, it's me. 991 00:52:58,480 --> 00:53:00,118 Someone just stuck their thumb up my ass. 992 00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:01,918 What? 993 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,434 Yeah, I was just standing right there, talking on the phone, 994 00:53:04,520 --> 00:53:07,512 and someone came right up behind me and stuck their thumb up my ass. 995 00:53:07,600 --> 00:53:09,670 - Did you see who it was... - Jamba! 996 00:53:09,760 --> 00:53:11,751 Ow! Fuck! Stop doing that! 997 00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,070 - How'd it go on the home front? - How do you think? 998 00:53:14,160 --> 00:53:16,276 Come on. Let's go. 999 00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:18,590 Come on. 1000 00:53:18,680 --> 00:53:21,558 Top Gun in the house! 1001 00:53:21,640 --> 00:53:25,599 We got Maverick! We got Fat Goose! 1002 00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:28,632 Do we have a challenger? 1003 00:53:28,720 --> 00:53:31,632 - Right here! Right here! - These two! She wants to! 1004 00:53:31,720 --> 00:53:33,278 - These two. - Pick her! 1005 00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:35,271 Who will accept this challenge? 1006 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:38,113 You go up there, I'll let you do whatever you want to me tonight. 1007 00:53:38,200 --> 00:53:40,316 - All right, I'm doing it. - All right! 1008 00:53:40,400 --> 00:53:41,833 - What? - Whoo! 1009 00:53:41,920 --> 00:53:44,229 - No, no, no! - Are you kidding me? 1010 00:53:44,320 --> 00:53:46,629 I saw your body last night, it's a lot better than Cody's. 1011 00:53:46,720 --> 00:53:49,951 And my body sure as shit looks better than that fucking Shamu's up there. 1012 00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:51,354 There's 1,000 people out here! 1013 00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:53,829 A lost old man has wandered on stage. 1014 00:53:53,920 --> 00:53:57,151 - Are you his nurse? - No. Fuck no. 1015 00:53:57,240 --> 00:54:00,152 Get on stage! Get on stage! 1016 00:54:00,240 --> 00:54:03,357 Get on stage! Get on stage! 1017 00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:05,715 Get on stage! Get on stage! 1018 00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:11,158 - Do it for me! - Get on stage! Get on stage! 1019 00:54:11,240 --> 00:54:14,277 So we have team Top Gun 1020 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:18,512 versus creepy old guy and his lesbian daughter. 1021 00:54:20,120 --> 00:54:24,432 Okay, Daytona Beach, are you ready to Flex Off? 1022 00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:29,389 Three! Two! One! Flex! 1023 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:31,596 Having trouble getting that coat off, Fat Goose? 1024 00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,148 Uh... 1025 00:54:34,240 --> 00:54:36,356 Look at this guy! 1026 00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:38,590 He's like Mother Teresa's vagina! 1027 00:54:38,680 --> 00:54:41,114 Old and tight! 1028 00:54:41,200 --> 00:54:44,237 Hey, look, it's Cirque du So Gay! 1029 00:54:44,320 --> 00:54:47,437 What now? 1030 00:54:49,720 --> 00:54:51,915 Uh-oh! Has the old man fallen? 1031 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:53,433 Or is it... 1032 00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:55,949 One-armed motherfucking push-ups! 1033 00:54:56,040 --> 00:54:57,598 Holy shit! 1034 00:54:57,680 --> 00:54:59,875 Lesbian daughter's getting in on the action! 1035 00:54:59,960 --> 00:55:02,349 I happen to know he smoked crack last night! 1036 00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:05,557 These push-ups are fueled by the devil's candy! 1037 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:09,235 Unbelievable! 1038 00:55:09,320 --> 00:55:11,550 Your move, Dolly Parton. 1039 00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:14,916 What are you gonna do now, team Top Gun? 1040 00:55:16,840 --> 00:55:18,114 And, hey, everybody, don't forget to stop 1041 00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:22,716 by Tam Pam Surf Slam in town where I'm selling "beach towels" 1042 00:55:22,800 --> 00:55:24,358 for 50 bucks an ounce. 1043 00:55:24,440 --> 00:55:28,228 "Sun screen" for 10 bucks a dime bag. 1044 00:55:28,320 --> 00:55:30,834 And I'm also selling meth! 1045 00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:34,230 Oh! Just got married! 1046 00:55:34,320 --> 00:55:36,914 Your move, Viagra Falls. 1047 00:55:37,000 --> 00:55:40,231 Crowd going wild for team Top Gun! 1048 00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:43,676 Grandpa, I got this. Watch! 1049 00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:47,435 Most muscular, on three. One, two, three. 1050 00:55:50,080 --> 00:55:53,152 Oh! I think this guy just sharted! 1051 00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:54,593 - No, I didn't! - Yes! 1052 00:55:54,680 --> 00:55:57,831 Call a lifeguard, I think there's been a shart attack! 1053 00:56:08,080 --> 00:56:09,798 I'm not even holding the mic right now. 1054 00:56:12,960 --> 00:56:16,589 - You suck! - I have an idea. 1055 00:56:16,680 --> 00:56:18,750 Do you remember that thing we used to do when I was a kid? 1056 00:56:18,840 --> 00:56:20,592 Yeah. 1057 00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,711 One, two, three... 1058 00:56:24,800 --> 00:56:27,075 Hold on, what's this? 1059 00:56:27,160 --> 00:56:31,756 What is going on? Oh, my God, what am I seeing? 1060 00:56:33,720 --> 00:56:35,995 Am I on drugs? Of course I am! 1061 00:56:36,120 --> 00:56:38,680 This is too incredible! 1062 00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,479 Flex Off history is being made! 1063 00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:45,235 - What's up now, Brah? - Yeah, what's up now, Brah? 1064 00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:47,675 Yeah, what's up now, Brah? 1065 00:56:47,760 --> 00:56:49,159 'Sup now, Brah? 1066 00:56:49,240 --> 00:56:52,038 'Sup now, Brah? 'Sup now, Brah? 1067 00:56:52,120 --> 00:56:55,192 This is incredible! Take out your cameras! 1068 00:56:55,280 --> 00:56:58,556 Put this online! This shit is going viral! 1069 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:00,949 Shit. Let me down. 1070 00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:03,110 Did everybody get a picture of that? 1071 00:57:03,200 --> 00:57:05,077 What the fuck are you doing? 1072 00:57:05,160 --> 00:57:06,991 - I can't do this... - What? 1073 00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:08,354 - God... - The winners 1074 00:57:08,440 --> 00:57:11,910 of the Alpha Delta Flex Off... Wait a minute! Where are you going? 1075 00:57:12,000 --> 00:57:13,797 - Guys? - Where are you going? 1076 00:57:13,880 --> 00:57:14,880 Jason! 1077 00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:15,949 You can't just leave me here like this. 1078 00:57:16,040 --> 00:57:17,280 Why'd you stop? We were winning! 1079 00:57:17,320 --> 00:57:18,480 Because I'm a lawyer! 1080 00:57:18,560 --> 00:57:20,790 I can't have people taking pictures of me doing stuff like this. 1081 00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:22,791 Can you imagine if the firm saw something like that? 1082 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:26,873 By default, the winner of the Flex Off is... 1083 00:57:26,960 --> 00:57:29,235 - Bring the cup home, baby! - ...these two dildos. 1084 00:57:31,800 --> 00:57:34,109 Every single day, my career's in jeopardy... 1085 00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:36,475 - What are you doing? - I'm taking the regulator off 1086 00:57:36,560 --> 00:57:38,869 the pneumatic propulsion system. 1087 00:57:38,960 --> 00:57:40,393 Give me a beer. 1088 00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:43,199 Grandpa, what did you really do for the army? 1089 00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:46,033 - I told you, I was a mechanic. - Bullshit. 1090 00:57:46,120 --> 00:57:50,113 You speak Arabic. You hot-wired a golf cart. 1091 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:51,952 Tell me the truth. 1092 00:57:52,040 --> 00:57:54,793 All right, I was Special Forces! 1093 00:57:54,880 --> 00:57:57,553 I trained insurgents behind enemy lines from Vietnam to Iraq. 1094 00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,392 Now give me the fucking beer can! Come on! 1095 00:57:59,480 --> 00:58:02,597 Look at this dummy! 1096 00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,398 What an idiot! 1097 00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:12,590 Whoo! Yeah! Do it again! 1098 00:58:12,680 --> 00:58:15,069 We can change in Cody's room. I picked his pocket earlier. 1099 00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:16,832 Nothing to see here, guys. 1100 00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:19,150 Cops are gonna come pretty quick. 1101 00:58:21,000 --> 00:58:23,639 No, no, this is his father, so that's what I'm saying. 1102 00:58:23,720 --> 00:58:25,119 Keep him heavily sedated, 1103 00:58:25,200 --> 00:58:27,668 but don't be afraid to pull the plug if you have to. 1104 00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:29,512 Thank you, doctor. 1105 00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,513 Okay. They're in the hospital till tomorrow! 1106 00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:36,558 The room's ours for the night. 1107 00:58:36,640 --> 00:58:39,029 Look at these fucking people. 1108 00:58:39,160 --> 00:58:41,435 How was brunch at Hitler's house that day? 1109 00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,909 Hey, Grandpa, who else in our family knows 1110 00:58:44,040 --> 00:58:46,600 that you were, uh, Special Forces or whatever? 1111 00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:49,240 No one, once your grandmother passed. 1112 00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:52,437 Your father stopped talking to me before my missions were declassified. 1113 00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:56,149 So he always thought I was just an army mechanic. 1114 00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:58,196 But don't you think that you guys would get along a little better 1115 00:58:58,280 --> 00:59:01,158 if you told him? 1116 00:59:03,200 --> 00:59:05,953 Hey, come on. Let's see how you look. Come on out. 1117 00:59:10,960 --> 00:59:14,794 First of all, nobody wears a fucking white belt. 1118 00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:17,480 The only people who wear white belts are people who suck at karate 1119 00:59:17,520 --> 00:59:20,717 and people who suck at life. Take the fucking belt off. 1120 00:59:20,800 --> 00:59:23,553 And you better lose that fucking white polo shirt 1121 00:59:23,640 --> 00:59:25,471 and those pleated khaki pants. 1122 00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:27,391 You're meeting up with girls, not blowing an oil executive 1123 00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:30,552 on a fucking golf course. Put these on. 1124 00:59:32,640 --> 00:59:35,996 Well, in case you forgot, I don't even have underwear, from last night. 1125 00:59:36,080 --> 00:59:38,116 All right, just put them on. I'll turn around. 1126 00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:42,915 - Nice dick. - Aw, jeez, Grandpa. 1127 00:59:43,000 --> 00:59:45,116 That's a good dick. You got your grandpa's dick. 1128 00:59:45,200 --> 00:59:47,839 Not the girth, not the length, but same style. 1129 00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:50,749 That's good to know. 1130 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,832 You're lucky you're not your dad. He's got his mom's dick. 1131 00:59:53,920 --> 00:59:55,990 What the fuck? 1132 00:59:56,080 --> 00:59:57,672 Now put your pants on. 1133 01:00:12,840 --> 01:00:15,752 - Shit. It's Meredith. - Don't answer it. 1134 01:00:15,880 --> 01:00:17,871 My rehearsal brunch is this weekend. 1135 01:00:17,960 --> 01:00:22,192 No calls. For one night, stop worrying about your wedding. Please. 1136 01:00:22,280 --> 01:00:24,475 We have two hot, smart, beautiful college girls 1137 01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,199 at the peak of their sexual powers about to meet us at one of 1138 01:00:27,280 --> 01:00:30,909 the last great nightclubs in Florida. Worry about them. 1139 01:00:33,760 --> 01:00:35,910 Okay. 1140 01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:57,510 I don't think you're very popular here, Grandpa. 1141 01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,068 You're the one that's going to have to watch out. 1142 01:01:00,160 --> 01:01:03,038 - You might get Oreo'd. - Oreo'd? 1143 01:01:03,120 --> 01:01:05,395 That's when two black guys fuck a white guy. 1144 01:01:05,480 --> 01:01:07,914 You're the cream in the middle. 1145 01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:22,755 Game on. 1146 01:01:22,840 --> 01:01:24,910 Hey! Glad you guys made it. 1147 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:28,595 - Let's all get fucked up. Right? - My step dad hates me! 1148 01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:31,672 Let's go! 1149 01:01:40,800 --> 01:01:42,438 Party till you're pregnant! 1150 01:01:45,880 --> 01:01:48,155 Oh, my God, I love this song! 1151 01:01:49,400 --> 01:01:50,992 You're not gonna die on me, are you? 1152 01:01:51,080 --> 01:01:53,275 - I don't think so. - All right! 1153 01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:02,949 - Come on. - Oh, no. No. 1154 01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:39,439 You want it? Come here, give me that hat! 1155 01:02:39,520 --> 01:02:41,750 Oh, my God... 1156 01:02:43,760 --> 01:02:44,909 Give me that! What is this? 1157 01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:47,116 Hey! Hey, hey, hey... 1158 01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:49,993 Leave my illegitimate black son alone. 1159 01:02:50,120 --> 01:02:52,793 We were just asking him to dance. 1160 01:02:52,880 --> 01:02:56,714 - Well, he don't wanna dance. - Well, maybe you wanna dance instead. 1161 01:02:56,800 --> 01:02:58,279 - I don't wanna dance... - Colonel Sanders! 1162 01:02:58,360 --> 01:03:00,112 It's all right. It's all right. 1163 01:03:00,200 --> 01:03:02,668 Let's not dirty this place up. 1164 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,957 It's a shrine. Sinatra sang here. Parking lot? 1165 01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:13,118 It'll be fine. 1166 01:03:13,200 --> 01:03:17,716 How is this going to be fine? Look at this crew. 1167 01:03:17,800 --> 01:03:19,597 Come on. We have a good crew too. 1168 01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:24,793 We have no crew. 1169 01:03:24,880 --> 01:03:26,871 Are we going to J.Crew? 1170 01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:28,473 Fuck J.Crew. 1171 01:03:31,160 --> 01:03:32,195 Don't do this. 1172 01:03:32,280 --> 01:03:33,872 I think I'm going to have to fight them all, 1173 01:03:33,960 --> 01:03:35,552 so you're going to have to take the first punch. 1174 01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:38,552 - What? - Okay! He's up first. 1175 01:03:38,640 --> 01:03:40,995 Whatever. 1176 01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:42,399 You like that shit, white boy? 1177 01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:44,152 Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? 1178 01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:46,913 What? You want next, bitch? 1179 01:03:47,000 --> 01:03:49,992 Hey, I thought I had next. 1180 01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,877 Tell him you're sorry you made fun of him for being gay. 1181 01:04:09,160 --> 01:04:11,674 I'm sorry I made fun of you for being gay! 1182 01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:13,910 Tell him you were raised in a different era, 1183 01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:16,150 but now you know it's wrong to judge people 1184 01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:18,470 based on their sexual orientation 1185 01:04:18,560 --> 01:04:21,438 and that if you had to be gay with someone for some reason, 1186 01:04:21,520 --> 01:04:23,750 you know, to prevent a terrorist attack or something, 1187 01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,359 it would be with him. 1188 01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,795 What? Ow! 1189 01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:29,836 Say it. 1190 01:04:29,920 --> 01:04:34,311 If I had to be gay with somebody 1191 01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:37,836 to prevent a terrorist attack, it would be you! 1192 01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:42,913 Apology accepted. 1193 01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:44,399 Okay. 1194 01:04:45,200 --> 01:04:47,509 Get out of here before I use my other arm. 1195 01:04:49,200 --> 01:04:52,351 This ain't over. 1196 01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:54,556 Ooh! Oh! 1197 01:04:54,640 --> 01:04:57,757 Now fuck off and take Jodeci with you. 1198 01:04:57,840 --> 01:04:59,671 Let's roll. 1199 01:05:04,400 --> 01:05:07,710 It's too bad Lenore barfed all over herself tonight. 1200 01:05:07,840 --> 01:05:09,717 I definitely could have had sex with her. 1201 01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:11,558 Yup. 1202 01:05:11,640 --> 01:05:15,474 I probably could have still had sex if she just threw up on her front, 1203 01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:18,791 but she somehow got it all over her back, and I would have felt bad. 1204 01:05:18,880 --> 01:05:21,792 Well, chivalry isn't dead. 1205 01:05:21,880 --> 01:05:25,156 I like the way you took that haymaker tonight. 1206 01:05:25,240 --> 01:05:28,357 Sometimes you just gotta take that punch up front, you know? 1207 01:05:28,440 --> 01:05:31,352 Then things get easier in the long run. 1208 01:05:35,600 --> 01:05:38,831 "De Oppresso Liber." It's written on your knife too. 1209 01:05:38,920 --> 01:05:40,353 What does that mean? 1210 01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:44,353 Hey, lights out after 12:00, boys. 1211 01:05:44,440 --> 01:05:46,078 I better not catch you swimming 1212 01:05:46,160 --> 01:05:48,071 across the lake to the girls' camp, okay? 1213 01:05:48,160 --> 01:05:50,355 - Night. - Good night. 1214 01:05:55,080 --> 01:05:58,516 You know, maybe I'll find something to do with Shadia tomorrow 1215 01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:02,189 and give you and Lenore a little more alone time. 1216 01:06:06,200 --> 01:06:08,555 I kind of feel like we're just getting in your way. 1217 01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:11,916 - Yeah? - I'm sure there's something... 1218 01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:15,709 What the fuck? Did you just get naked? 1219 01:06:15,800 --> 01:06:19,110 - It's the best way to sleep. - Oh, my God! 1220 01:06:19,200 --> 01:06:21,634 I picked it up in Uganda from the Umbatdo. 1221 01:06:21,720 --> 01:06:25,508 Umbat-don't let your junk touch my leg again or you're sleeping on the floor. 1222 01:06:27,040 --> 01:06:30,157 - Night. - Night. 1223 01:06:42,120 --> 01:06:45,669 Jason... 1224 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:47,512 The fuck! Oh, my God! 1225 01:06:54,280 --> 01:06:56,589 What do these guys want to cut all the trees down for anyway? 1226 01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:59,956 For some stupid, like, massive, tacky entertainment complex. 1227 01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:03,112 You know, the ones with, like, arcades and laser tag. That sort of thing. 1228 01:07:03,200 --> 01:07:05,919 - Laser tag? I love laser tag. - Yeah. 1229 01:07:06,040 --> 01:07:07,871 - When does it open? - Nice. Thanks a lot. 1230 01:07:08,000 --> 01:07:09,479 - Shadia! - Hi, Griz. 1231 01:07:09,560 --> 01:07:13,155 Oh, my God, your pics from the Boston rally look amazing! 1232 01:07:13,240 --> 01:07:14,798 - Thank you. - Yeah. Absolutely. 1233 01:07:14,880 --> 01:07:16,916 Sweet Hacky Sack, man. 1234 01:07:17,000 --> 01:07:18,797 It's not a Hacky Sack, dawg. That's the trade name. 1235 01:07:18,880 --> 01:07:21,075 It's an organic hemp-seed foot satchel. 1236 01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:24,277 And what's someone from the fucking laser tag lobby doing here? 1237 01:07:24,360 --> 01:07:26,078 No, I'm just a friend of Shadia's. 1238 01:07:26,160 --> 01:07:27,309 Just a friend. 1239 01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:29,038 That's pretty cool, man. What is that, a dance ball? 1240 01:07:29,120 --> 01:07:31,315 Fuck! What the fuck? 1241 01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:32,873 - You're fucking kidding me. - It's like a... 1242 01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:35,520 What the fuck! 1243 01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:38,637 It's a 4-inch acrylic juggling orb! Dick. 1244 01:07:38,720 --> 01:07:41,757 Um... I'll see you guys next weekend. 1245 01:07:41,840 --> 01:07:44,149 - Absolutely. Absolutely. - Yeah? Okay. Bye. 1246 01:07:44,240 --> 01:07:46,310 - Love your necklace. - Bye. 1247 01:07:49,560 --> 01:07:51,391 Hey, Griz... 1248 01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:54,471 Don't touch that, it's from Laser Tag. 1249 01:07:54,560 --> 01:07:55,560 Sorry. 1250 01:07:55,640 --> 01:07:58,359 - They're good people. I swear. - Let me see that. 1251 01:07:58,440 --> 01:08:00,795 Where are you going with these "good people"? 1252 01:08:00,880 --> 01:08:04,156 We're heading out to the coast to, um, charter a boat for the year. 1253 01:08:04,240 --> 01:08:05,992 - For the year? - Yeah. 1254 01:08:06,080 --> 01:08:07,399 To do what? 1255 01:08:07,520 --> 01:08:10,273 We're documenting the effects of climate change out on the ocean. 1256 01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:14,877 Aren't you supposed to graduate next weekend? 1257 01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:16,712 Yeah. 1258 01:08:18,840 --> 01:08:22,833 Seems to me like you're running from something. 1259 01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:24,638 Come on, haven't you had to make sacrifices 1260 01:08:24,720 --> 01:08:26,551 to get where you are as a photographer? 1261 01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:30,076 I mean, yeah, but... 1262 01:08:30,160 --> 01:08:31,878 That's different. 1263 01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:34,992 Look at this. 1264 01:08:39,960 --> 01:08:44,351 - I hate photos of myself. - Why? 1265 01:08:44,440 --> 01:08:46,476 You look beautiful. 1266 01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:49,998 See? 1267 01:09:03,760 --> 01:09:06,228 Hey. 1268 01:09:06,320 --> 01:09:07,799 Wait, just calm down. 1269 01:09:07,880 --> 01:09:11,555 - What? - Shit. Yeah, we'll be right there. 1270 01:09:11,640 --> 01:09:14,712 - What's going on? - We gotta go. 1271 01:09:14,800 --> 01:09:18,349 And then I came back from the bathroom and all those black guys from the club 1272 01:09:18,440 --> 01:09:20,510 were, like, standing around Lenore and Dr. Richards 1273 01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:22,716 and they were yelling at them and threatening them 1274 01:09:22,800 --> 01:09:24,313 and they, like, kidnapped them! 1275 01:09:24,400 --> 01:09:27,631 - And I think one of them had a gun! - Did you see where they took them? 1276 01:09:27,720 --> 01:09:28,800 No. 1277 01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:31,229 Those guys are staying at The Tillman. That's all I know. 1278 01:09:31,320 --> 01:09:33,311 - Okay. - Come on! 1279 01:09:33,400 --> 01:09:35,436 - Come on! - Shit! 1280 01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:42,434 What? 1281 01:09:42,520 --> 01:09:44,317 - I smell marijuana. - Mmm-hmm. 1282 01:09:48,520 --> 01:09:50,112 What are you going to do with a bucket? 1283 01:09:50,200 --> 01:09:51,758 I don't know! 1284 01:09:51,840 --> 01:09:54,559 Okay, on three. Ready? 1285 01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:59,111 One, two, three! 1286 01:09:59,200 --> 01:10:01,555 Okay, let me try one more time. 1287 01:10:01,640 --> 01:10:05,428 The GZA, the RZA, 1288 01:10:05,520 --> 01:10:07,556 OI' Dirty Bastard. 1289 01:10:07,680 --> 01:10:10,797 - What's going on? - Gang stuff. 1290 01:10:10,880 --> 01:10:13,189 Raekwon the Chef! 1291 01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:15,510 And the Method Man! 1292 01:10:18,520 --> 01:10:22,035 Hey! Here they are! How was the protest? 1293 01:10:22,120 --> 01:10:24,793 - Uh, it was good. - Yeah, it was good. 1294 01:10:24,880 --> 01:10:30,000 This is Lamar, Lil' Chris, Big Chris, Murray Finkelstein. 1295 01:10:30,120 --> 01:10:32,793 And, of course, you've already met Ty-rizone. 1296 01:10:32,880 --> 01:10:35,189 That nigga's crazy, man. 1297 01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,748 Yeah, what's with the N-word, anyway? I can say it. I can't say it... 1298 01:10:37,840 --> 01:10:39,637 You can say it when we let you say it. 1299 01:10:39,720 --> 01:10:43,952 Which is never. Just never say that under any circumstances. 1300 01:10:48,240 --> 01:10:49,514 Shotgun! 1301 01:10:53,000 --> 01:10:54,956 What the fuck is going on? 1302 01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:56,837 I thought these guys wanted to kill you! 1303 01:10:56,920 --> 01:10:58,478 Lebanese Red. 1304 01:10:59,760 --> 01:11:02,433 I had some of this left over from my time in the Middle East. 1305 01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:05,440 You throw some of this shit around, you can really get away with anything. 1306 01:11:05,480 --> 01:11:08,358 - Have some. - You're smoking grass now? 1307 01:11:08,440 --> 01:11:10,556 Jesus, this is a gateway drug, Grandpa. 1308 01:11:10,640 --> 01:11:12,949 Yeah, well, you just opened the gateway to being a pussy. 1309 01:11:13,080 --> 01:11:15,435 - Take some. - Yo, D. Let's fucking bounce! 1310 01:11:15,520 --> 01:11:18,796 - Let's fucking bounce! - Where? 1311 01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:22,870 ♪ And everything is all right 1312 01:11:22,960 --> 01:11:27,351 ♪ I got a beep from Kim And she can fuck all night 1313 01:11:27,440 --> 01:11:29,590 ♪ Called up the homies and I'm asking y'all 1314 01:11:29,720 --> 01:11:32,518 ♪ Which park are y'all playing basketball? 1315 01:11:32,640 --> 01:11:35,029 ♪ Get me on the court and I'm trouble 1316 01:11:35,120 --> 01:11:38,669 ♪ Last week fucked around And got a triple double 1317 01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:40,955 Can I say it? Can I say it? 1318 01:11:41,040 --> 01:11:42,189 No! No, no. 1319 01:11:42,280 --> 01:11:44,157 - Say it! - Say that shit! 1320 01:11:44,240 --> 01:11:46,959 ♪ Freaking niggas every way like MJ 1321 01:11:50,120 --> 01:11:52,839 ♪ I can't believe today was a good day? 1322 01:11:52,920 --> 01:11:55,514 I'm totally gonna fuck him tonight. 1323 01:11:55,600 --> 01:11:58,478 Can I watch? 'Cause I kind of want to fuck him too now. 1324 01:12:00,720 --> 01:12:03,473 Drop the mic, baby! Drop the mic, baby! 1325 01:12:03,560 --> 01:12:05,551 - That's what I'm talking about! - Peace out, niggas! 1326 01:12:05,640 --> 01:12:08,438 I see you, boy. Nasty! 1327 01:12:11,040 --> 01:12:15,750 - Up next we have Shadia and Jason! - Yep, it's us now. 1328 01:12:15,840 --> 01:12:18,832 What? No. No, no, no, no. 1329 01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:20,592 - No... - Come on. 1330 01:12:20,680 --> 01:12:23,069 We can't top that. I don't want to do this. 1331 01:12:24,240 --> 01:12:28,677 You know the song. You know every word. See? 1332 01:12:28,760 --> 01:12:30,671 You're going to make me do it all alone? 1333 01:12:30,760 --> 01:12:32,318 Fine. 1334 01:12:34,400 --> 01:12:35,719 Hey. 1335 01:12:35,800 --> 01:12:39,713 ♪ For all those times you stood by me 1336 01:12:39,800 --> 01:12:43,190 ♪ For all the truth that you made me see 1337 01:12:43,280 --> 01:12:47,068 ♪ For all the joy you brought to my life 1338 01:12:47,160 --> 01:12:51,119 ♪ For all the wrong that you made right 1339 01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:54,909 ♪ For every dream you made come true 1340 01:12:55,000 --> 01:12:59,152 ♪ For all the love I found in you 1341 01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:03,597 ♪ I'll be forever thankful, baby 1342 01:13:03,680 --> 01:13:07,229 ♪ You're the one who held me up 1343 01:13:07,360 --> 01:13:11,319 ♪ And never let me fall Yeah, yeah 1344 01:13:11,400 --> 01:13:14,710 ♪ You're the one who saw me through 1345 01:13:14,800 --> 01:13:17,360 ♪ Through it all 1346 01:13:17,440 --> 01:13:21,115 ♪ You were my strength when I was weak 1347 01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:24,909 ♪ You were my voice when I couldn't speak 1348 01:13:25,000 --> 01:13:28,754 ♪ You were my eyes when I couldn't see 1349 01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:32,429 ♪ You saw the best there was in me 1350 01:13:32,520 --> 01:13:36,513 ♪ Lifted me up when I couldn't reach 1351 01:13:36,640 --> 01:13:40,952 ♪ You gave me faith 'cause you believed 1352 01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:47,036 ♪ I'm everything I am 1353 01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:52,274 - Damn! - ♪ Because you loved me? 1354 01:13:59,920 --> 01:14:01,638 Who are you? 1355 01:14:04,120 --> 01:14:06,918 I'm just saying, who sings that well 1356 01:14:07,000 --> 01:14:08,797 and isn't a professional singer? 1357 01:14:08,920 --> 01:14:11,036 You're so good at singing you actually suck! 1358 01:14:11,120 --> 01:14:13,350 You guys want to come up for a nightcap? 1359 01:14:13,440 --> 01:14:17,479 - Yeah, well... - See if shit gets real? 1360 01:14:18,960 --> 01:14:24,273 Well, young Michael Buble and I are gonna have a stogie by the pool, so... 1361 01:14:26,520 --> 01:14:28,192 - See you up there? - Yeah. 1362 01:14:34,560 --> 01:14:36,391 I want you to know how much I appreciate 1363 01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:38,072 you doing this for me, Jason. 1364 01:14:38,200 --> 01:14:41,670 The greatest gift a grandson can give his grandfather 1365 01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:46,231 is a hot college girl who wants to have unprotected sex with him before he dies. 1366 01:14:46,320 --> 01:14:50,996 Yeah, well, most grandpas just want toffee. 1367 01:14:52,520 --> 01:14:56,308 What's the matter? 1368 01:14:57,760 --> 01:14:59,990 I think I'm gonna call off my wedding. 1369 01:15:02,440 --> 01:15:07,514 Well, when you get married, it's for a long fucking time. 1370 01:15:07,600 --> 01:15:09,477 And it's hard. 1371 01:15:09,560 --> 01:15:12,950 So it damn well better be with a woman who keeps things interesting. 1372 01:15:13,040 --> 01:15:17,272 You know your grandmother, she tried to grow her own pot plant once? 1373 01:15:18,880 --> 01:15:19,880 - Really? - Yeah, 1374 01:15:19,960 --> 01:15:21,996 she just wanted to see if she could do it. 1375 01:15:24,080 --> 01:15:26,594 She was always surprising me like that. 1376 01:15:28,600 --> 01:15:31,910 We also tried anal once every five years. 1377 01:15:33,720 --> 01:15:35,392 Sweet. 1378 01:15:35,480 --> 01:15:39,029 I miss having someone to share everything with. 1379 01:15:42,080 --> 01:15:45,914 It's not fair to just keep Shadia in the dark like this. 1380 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,231 Since we started this, it's just been one big lie. 1381 01:15:49,320 --> 01:15:52,153 She has no idea who I am. 1382 01:15:52,240 --> 01:15:54,117 I have to tell her the truth. 1383 01:15:54,200 --> 01:15:58,637 Well, maybe telling her tonight is a little abrupt. 1384 01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:01,792 The most important part of a relationship is trust. 1385 01:16:01,880 --> 01:16:04,633 - That's right. - And I'm going to start now. 1386 01:16:04,720 --> 01:16:08,554 Or you can just wait till I have sex with Lenore tonight, 1387 01:16:08,640 --> 01:16:10,710 then you can tell Shadia everything. 1388 01:16:10,800 --> 01:16:15,715 - No. I'm just lying. - Jason, I'm your grandfather! 1389 01:16:15,840 --> 01:16:17,478 You wait till I fuck that college girl! 1390 01:16:17,560 --> 01:16:19,630 - I'm telling her now. - Jason... 1391 01:16:19,760 --> 01:16:23,912 Jason! Jason! 1392 01:16:25,920 --> 01:16:28,593 'Sup, brah? 1393 01:16:30,360 --> 01:16:32,191 Back off, D cups! 1394 01:16:32,280 --> 01:16:35,636 Well, if it isn't the "professor." 1395 01:16:35,720 --> 01:16:39,633 You know, it's amazing what you can find with a name and Google these days. 1396 01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:41,278 You're not a real professor? 1397 01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:44,193 Oh, my God! You lied to us. How could you. 1398 01:16:44,280 --> 01:16:47,238 Wait, wait, wait, this is the best part. This is the best part. 1399 01:16:47,320 --> 01:16:51,279 Richard "Dick" Kelly, Lieutenant Colonel 1400 01:16:51,360 --> 01:16:54,352 in the United States Army, 1401 01:16:54,440 --> 01:16:58,353 also known as the American Gladiator "Nitro." 1402 01:16:58,440 --> 01:16:59,839 What the fuck did you Google? 1403 01:16:59,920 --> 01:17:03,674 Okay, well, there's another best part then. 1404 01:17:03,760 --> 01:17:09,198 "Jason Patrick Kelly will wed Meredith Miriam Goldstein 1405 01:17:09,280 --> 01:17:12,875 at Jericho Temple on Saturday, March 27th." 1406 01:17:12,960 --> 01:17:17,078 Oh, wait, that's, um, next Saturday. 1407 01:17:17,160 --> 01:17:20,835 Wait, you're grandfather and grandson? 1408 01:17:20,920 --> 01:17:23,434 Oh, my God! That is so fucked up. 1409 01:17:23,520 --> 01:17:25,954 That is so hot. I mean, that is so fucked up. 1410 01:17:29,320 --> 01:17:34,917 So... are you getting married next weekend? 1411 01:17:35,000 --> 01:17:37,719 I was. I was getting married, 1412 01:17:37,840 --> 01:17:39,398 but then I met you, and now I don't... 1413 01:17:39,480 --> 01:17:41,675 Oh, my God! No. Don't pull that shit. 1414 01:17:43,320 --> 01:17:45,754 I feel fucking stupid enough as it is. 1415 01:17:50,080 --> 01:17:52,958 So you're not a professor? Are you even a photographer? 1416 01:17:53,040 --> 01:17:56,794 I'm a lawyer. 1417 01:17:56,880 --> 01:18:00,714 I handle SEC compliance. 1418 01:18:00,800 --> 01:18:03,109 LLC agreements. I came up here to... 1419 01:18:03,240 --> 01:18:04,912 Get the fuck out, Jason. Seriously. 1420 01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:07,070 - Can I have a second to explain? - No! 1421 01:18:07,200 --> 01:18:09,998 Hold up, hold up. Not so fast, professor. 1422 01:18:12,120 --> 01:18:15,556 For what's it worth, I still really want to fuck you. 1423 01:18:15,640 --> 01:18:17,949 - And we're going to fuck. - Yeah, we are. 1424 01:18:18,040 --> 01:18:20,713 - We're going to thunder fuck. - You're gonna tsunami on my face! 1425 01:18:20,840 --> 01:18:23,195 You're gonna flood like the Nile. 1426 01:18:23,280 --> 01:18:25,475 Yeah. I guess the drought in my pussy is finally over. 1427 01:18:25,560 --> 01:18:27,710 The villagers will finally eat. 1428 01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:29,199 You're gonna die while you're eating me out. 1429 01:18:29,280 --> 01:18:31,077 I want your last breath to be in my pussy. 1430 01:18:31,160 --> 01:18:32,309 Lenore! You're such a slut. 1431 01:18:32,400 --> 01:18:35,631 - Police! - That's right. Po-po in the ho-ho. 1432 01:18:35,720 --> 01:18:37,472 Some kind of ganja party? 1433 01:18:37,560 --> 01:18:40,233 - Sorry to harsh your mellows. - Where's my e-vite? 1434 01:18:40,360 --> 01:18:41,918 - Is that the jacket? - Check the right coat pocket. 1435 01:18:42,000 --> 01:18:43,069 - Check it, man. - Okay, turn around. Come on. 1436 01:18:43,160 --> 01:18:44,720 That's my jacket. That's not his jacket. 1437 01:18:44,800 --> 01:18:45,949 Up against the palm. There you go. 1438 01:18:46,040 --> 01:18:47,951 Let's have a look. What've you got in here? Huh? 1439 01:18:48,040 --> 01:18:49,268 - Bingo-bango. - OMG. 1440 01:18:49,360 --> 01:18:51,078 What the fuck? That's not mine! 1441 01:18:51,160 --> 01:18:53,196 - "What the fuck?" - That's not mine! 1442 01:18:53,280 --> 01:18:57,478 The fuck? Well, it looks like Spring Break is finally drug free! 1443 01:18:57,560 --> 01:18:59,232 Come on, let's go. Let's go, pretty boy. 1444 01:18:59,320 --> 01:19:00,673 Oh, shall we? 1445 01:19:00,760 --> 01:19:02,990 No, it doesn't go down that way. Let's go. 1446 01:19:03,080 --> 01:19:04,160 I'll wait for you, Grandpa. 1447 01:19:04,200 --> 01:19:05,952 Keep that shit tight for me! 1448 01:19:06,040 --> 01:19:08,190 He's my Henry Miller. 1449 01:19:08,280 --> 01:19:11,590 - What the fuck does that mean? - Exactly! 1450 01:19:14,600 --> 01:19:16,318 Hey, there he is. 1451 01:19:16,400 --> 01:19:18,675 You got blood on your pants, you know. 1452 01:19:18,760 --> 01:19:20,398 Your license isn't even suspended, is it? 1453 01:19:20,480 --> 01:19:22,550 You made all this up just so I'd come down here with you. 1454 01:19:22,640 --> 01:19:26,599 - I had to make sure you'd come. - Fuck you! 1455 01:19:26,680 --> 01:19:29,319 Just chill, Jason. Hakuna matata. 1456 01:19:31,120 --> 01:19:32,553 Who the fuck are you? 1457 01:19:32,640 --> 01:19:34,676 I should have known you were fucking crazy 1458 01:19:34,760 --> 01:19:37,752 the moment you started hitting on women the day after Grandma's funeral! 1459 01:19:37,840 --> 01:19:39,796 Don't you fucking judge me. 1460 01:19:39,920 --> 01:19:41,911 You have no idea what I had with your grandmother. 1461 01:19:42,000 --> 01:19:45,151 And everything I've done these last few days I've done for a reason. 1462 01:19:45,240 --> 01:19:47,595 You were about to fuck up royally by getting married, 1463 01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:49,073 - and you fucking know it! - Oh, yeah? 1464 01:19:49,160 --> 01:19:52,038 What the fuck am I supposed to do now? 1465 01:19:52,120 --> 01:19:54,236 Chase around some college girl 1466 01:19:54,320 --> 01:19:56,197 that doesn't even want to fucking talk to me? 1467 01:19:56,280 --> 01:19:58,635 Not know what the fuck I'm doing for the rest of my life? 1468 01:19:58,720 --> 01:20:00,756 Yeah, because at least you'd be thinking for yourself for a change. 1469 01:20:00,840 --> 01:20:03,354 - What the fuck does that even mean? - Your father has lorded over 1470 01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:05,908 every decision you've made in your adult life, 1471 01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,070 and Meredith is just the latest example of that! 1472 01:20:08,160 --> 01:20:09,798 She's not right for you, Jason. 1473 01:20:09,880 --> 01:20:11,552 If you marry her, you're going to be sleepwalking 1474 01:20:11,640 --> 01:20:13,551 through the rest of your life and be completely unhappy, 1475 01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:16,518 - just like your father! - I am already unhappy with my life, 1476 01:20:16,600 --> 01:20:19,876 because I've done nothing but get fucked by you 1477 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:22,594 and this insane fuck rampage that you've been on. 1478 01:20:22,680 --> 01:20:26,195 It wasn't a "fuck rampage" for me. It was a "fuck rampage" for you. 1479 01:20:26,280 --> 01:20:29,317 - How? How is this for me? - I fucked up as a father. 1480 01:20:29,400 --> 01:20:32,278 I wasn't there to raise your dad and he turned into a materialistic, 1481 01:20:32,360 --> 01:20:35,670 henpecked, poop-dick country clubber. 1482 01:20:35,760 --> 01:20:39,799 - I don't want that to happen to you. - So that's what this was? 1483 01:20:41,680 --> 01:20:44,558 I was your last-ditch redemption project. 1484 01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:51,956 Congratulations, Grandpa. 1485 01:20:52,040 --> 01:20:54,156 You thought you were a shitty father? 1486 01:20:55,880 --> 01:20:57,711 Now you're a shitty grandfather. 1487 01:21:00,720 --> 01:21:03,359 I don't want to see you at my wedding. 1488 01:21:03,440 --> 01:21:05,317 Stay the fuck away from me. 1489 01:21:48,040 --> 01:21:50,873 So, do you like this size, or this size? 1490 01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:04,235 Hey, hon, the people at the venue 1491 01:22:04,320 --> 01:22:06,470 said they don't have enough mint napkins, 1492 01:22:06,560 --> 01:22:09,870 so which one do you like better? 1493 01:22:09,960 --> 01:22:14,238 The seafoam or the pistachio? 1494 01:22:14,320 --> 01:22:16,595 I'll get it. 1495 01:22:31,720 --> 01:22:32,835 What is it? 1496 01:22:32,920 --> 01:22:36,151 Oh, it's, uh... Just another wedding present. 1497 01:22:36,240 --> 01:22:40,916 I hope it's that new big dipping spoon from Williams-Sonoma. 1498 01:22:50,880 --> 01:22:55,874 ...and as a tribute to Meredith and Jason 1499 01:22:55,960 --> 01:22:57,712 and the love that you guys share. 1500 01:22:57,800 --> 01:22:59,677 A love I will never know because my dog 1501 01:22:59,760 --> 01:23:03,070 died the first day I masturbated. So now I can't get hard unless... 1502 01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:04,195 Okay. 1503 01:23:04,280 --> 01:23:07,829 Also, we've got to stop ISIS. It's gotten... It's too much. 1504 01:23:09,960 --> 01:23:11,951 Got it. Got it. 1505 01:23:12,040 --> 01:23:16,033 You know, today's celebration is much more 1506 01:23:16,120 --> 01:23:18,509 than just about the union of two people, 1507 01:23:18,600 --> 01:23:21,797 it's also about the union of two families. 1508 01:23:21,880 --> 01:23:24,553 - Meredith... - The Kellys and the Goldsteins. 1509 01:23:25,560 --> 01:23:28,632 Let's have Jason and Meredith tell their own story. 1510 01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:35,909 Nice job, Uncle Dave! 1511 01:23:42,240 --> 01:23:46,472 ♪ For all those times you stood by me 1512 01:23:46,560 --> 01:23:50,519 ♪ For all the truth that you made me see 1513 01:23:50,600 --> 01:23:54,309 ♪ For all the joy you brought to my life 1514 01:23:54,400 --> 01:23:55,674 ♪ Into my life 1515 01:23:55,800 --> 01:23:58,553 ♪ For all the wrong that you made right 1516 01:23:58,640 --> 01:24:02,713 ♪ For every dream you made come true 1517 01:24:02,800 --> 01:24:04,597 ♪ For all the love 1518 01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:07,399 ♪ I found in you 1519 01:24:07,520 --> 01:24:08,520 ♪ I'll be... 1520 01:24:08,600 --> 01:24:12,070 ♪ You've gotta be forever thankful, baby 1521 01:24:12,160 --> 01:24:15,835 ♪ You're the one who held me up 1522 01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:20,516 ♪ Never let me fall 1523 01:24:20,600 --> 01:24:22,591 Let's go in for the kill. 1524 01:24:24,320 --> 01:24:27,676 ♪ Through it all 1525 01:24:32,600 --> 01:24:33,919 You've been hacked. 1526 01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:36,798 ♪ You were my strength when I was weak 1527 01:24:36,880 --> 01:24:40,509 - ♪ You were my voice... - ♪ When I couldn't speak 1528 01:24:40,600 --> 01:24:44,354 ♪ You were my eyes when I couldn't see 1529 01:24:44,440 --> 01:24:48,399 ♪ You saw the best there was in me 1530 01:24:48,520 --> 01:24:53,469 ♪ Lifted me up when I couldn't reach 1531 01:24:57,640 --> 01:25:00,837 ♪ I'm everything I am 1532 01:25:00,920 --> 01:25:04,435 ♪ Because you loved me? 1533 01:25:04,520 --> 01:25:06,238 Because you loved me. 1534 01:25:21,080 --> 01:25:22,354 What the fuck? 1535 01:25:24,720 --> 01:25:26,756 That is not Martha's Vineyard. 1536 01:25:28,000 --> 01:25:29,479 Jason! 1537 01:25:31,120 --> 01:25:33,190 - T ake it off! - Trying, dear. Trying. 1538 01:25:33,280 --> 01:25:35,794 - Leave them on. - Shut it down. 1539 01:25:35,880 --> 01:25:37,632 I have something to say. 1540 01:25:40,080 --> 01:25:44,278 I think I've been listening to everybody else 1541 01:25:44,360 --> 01:25:46,476 about what I should be doing with my life. 1542 01:25:46,560 --> 01:25:49,120 My grandpa said something really interesting. 1543 01:25:49,200 --> 01:25:51,634 All right, cut the mics. I'm going up. 1544 01:25:51,720 --> 01:25:55,838 ...take that punch, that point forward, things get easier. 1545 01:25:57,600 --> 01:25:59,431 - The mic's off. - Jason, your mic cut out. 1546 01:25:59,520 --> 01:26:00,520 What? 1547 01:26:00,600 --> 01:26:02,431 Your mic cut out at the most inopportune time, 1548 01:26:02,520 --> 01:26:05,876 so we can't hear why you want to leave those images up. 1549 01:26:06,800 --> 01:26:09,917 Hitting it won't work. If they caught it from the PA... Band? 1550 01:26:10,000 --> 01:26:11,115 What the fuck? 1551 01:26:11,200 --> 01:26:13,714 Nick, can you tell her something for me? 1552 01:26:13,800 --> 01:26:16,678 Can you tell her that, uh... 1553 01:26:18,440 --> 01:26:22,433 I'm really sorry, but I can't marry her. 1554 01:26:22,520 --> 01:26:26,433 You think that message should come from me? Okay... 1555 01:26:26,520 --> 01:26:31,435 Uncle Ramon, can you tell Meredith that Jason's sorry, 1556 01:26:31,520 --> 01:26:33,636 but that they can't get married? 1557 01:26:36,480 --> 01:26:37,913 Oh, fuck! 1558 01:26:39,600 --> 01:26:43,912 I forgot Uncle Ramon was deaf and I talked to him like a normal. 1559 01:26:45,040 --> 01:26:48,749 Uncle Ruben, can you please tell Meredith that Jason is really sorry, 1560 01:26:48,840 --> 01:26:50,910 but that he can't marry her? 1561 01:26:53,040 --> 01:26:58,797 He says he's very sorry, but he can't marry you. 1562 01:26:58,880 --> 01:27:02,350 Uncle Ruben, can you turn that thing up a little? 1563 01:27:02,440 --> 01:27:04,670 It doesn't get any louder. 1564 01:27:04,760 --> 01:27:06,637 Where'd you get that thing, SkyMall? 1565 01:27:08,160 --> 01:27:12,358 At this point, I'm kind of nervous that anybody I pick will have a disability. 1566 01:27:12,440 --> 01:27:15,238 Okay... Waiter... Hey, Pubes. 1567 01:27:16,640 --> 01:27:21,031 Can you please go tell Meredith that my cousin Jason is very sorry, 1568 01:27:21,120 --> 01:27:22,348 but they cannot get married? 1569 01:27:24,080 --> 01:27:25,593 Come on, man. It's my first day... 1570 01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:27,000 I know it's your first day, 1571 01:27:27,040 --> 01:27:28,871 but everybody needs you to be a man here. 1572 01:27:28,960 --> 01:27:30,439 Okay. 1573 01:27:33,120 --> 01:27:34,997 Just real quick... 1574 01:27:35,080 --> 01:27:38,152 He sent me... He wants me to tell you that... 1575 01:27:38,240 --> 01:27:40,151 Um... 1576 01:27:40,240 --> 01:27:42,470 He doesn't think that he can marry you. 1577 01:27:44,720 --> 01:27:46,199 But that he's sorry that he can't. 1578 01:27:51,240 --> 01:27:55,028 She's laughing, so I think that you're in the clear, bro. 1579 01:27:55,120 --> 01:27:56,678 No, it's good. That was good. 1580 01:27:56,760 --> 01:27:58,796 You can just go back and tell him 1581 01:27:58,880 --> 01:28:02,236 that I fucked his cousin Nick while he was gone. 1582 01:28:04,000 --> 01:28:05,672 She's so super cool about it. 1583 01:28:05,800 --> 01:28:10,157 She's like, "Go! Do your thing. Do you." 1584 01:28:10,240 --> 01:28:13,198 - She said that? - That's what she said, verbatim. 1585 01:28:13,280 --> 01:28:15,111 Wait. Should I come down and say bye? 1586 01:28:15,200 --> 01:28:16,872 - No. God! Fuck no! - No? 1587 01:28:16,960 --> 01:28:18,632 Yeah. No need to even... Let's not even... 1588 01:28:18,720 --> 01:28:21,188 You just... I've done it... We're great! 1589 01:28:21,280 --> 01:28:24,238 Wait, where the fuck is he going? 1590 01:28:24,360 --> 01:28:26,749 Jason! Jason! 1591 01:28:37,640 --> 01:28:40,598 It's actually the guy on the moped with the iPad. 1592 01:28:40,680 --> 01:28:44,593 NSA stopped using utility vans years ago. 1593 01:28:44,680 --> 01:28:46,796 I figured once you sent the camera back, 1594 01:28:46,880 --> 01:28:48,871 it was time to take drastic measures. 1595 01:28:48,960 --> 01:28:50,951 What'd he say? Are we doing this? 1596 01:28:51,040 --> 01:28:53,315 Plan B, have Pam kidnap you. 1597 01:28:53,400 --> 01:28:56,710 - I've got to get her back. - You want me to kidnap her? 1598 01:28:56,800 --> 01:28:58,836 I'll bring her back to you in a box, bro. 1599 01:28:58,920 --> 01:29:01,832 She's on a bus headed west on I-85 across Florida. 1600 01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:04,070 Her boat leaves in four hours. 1601 01:29:04,160 --> 01:29:06,799 It was easy to track her down because of the whole Middle Eastern thing. 1602 01:29:06,880 --> 01:29:09,792 Bet you never thought you'd 69 a girl because of the Patriot Act. 1603 01:29:09,880 --> 01:29:12,235 You 69 her, man! 1604 01:29:12,320 --> 01:29:14,038 And then she's dead. 1605 01:29:14,160 --> 01:29:15,878 Are you kidding me, Pam? This is what you drive? 1606 01:29:15,960 --> 01:29:18,155 Oh, yeah, it is so easy selling kids drugs 1607 01:29:18,240 --> 01:29:20,117 from an ice cream truck. It's crazy! 1608 01:29:20,200 --> 01:29:22,953 - Jason! Jason! - Go, go, go, go! 1609 01:29:23,040 --> 01:29:24,393 Jason, stop! Stop right now. 1610 01:29:24,480 --> 01:29:25,754 Stop! Stop! 1611 01:29:26,560 --> 01:29:29,711 If you leave right now, you can kiss your job at the firm goodbye! 1612 01:29:29,840 --> 01:29:31,876 David, will you get the fuck out of the way! 1613 01:29:32,920 --> 01:29:36,117 Hey, hey! Come on! What the hell! 1614 01:29:36,200 --> 01:29:38,794 Hey, guy, unless you want a Chipwich or some heroin, 1615 01:29:38,880 --> 01:29:40,279 get off my ice cream truck! 1616 01:29:40,360 --> 01:29:41,634 Who the fuck is this slob? 1617 01:29:41,720 --> 01:29:44,473 Slob? I am a small business owner! 1618 01:29:44,560 --> 01:29:46,312 I am the backbone of this country! 1619 01:29:46,440 --> 01:29:48,749 I am holding a Taser! 1620 01:29:48,840 --> 01:29:50,796 - Whoa! Shit! - Dude, should I stop? 1621 01:29:50,880 --> 01:29:51,915 - What are you... - I'm kind of in the middle 1622 01:29:52,000 --> 01:29:53,000 of it right here. 1623 01:29:53,080 --> 01:29:54,991 Shit! All right. 1624 01:29:56,720 --> 01:29:58,995 Raise your hand if you've got a boner! 1625 01:30:00,760 --> 01:30:03,280 What were we supposed to do? Just leave him on the side of road? 1626 01:30:04,280 --> 01:30:07,670 Hey, man, can you slow down? You're making this very difficult. 1627 01:30:07,760 --> 01:30:10,480 What the fuck! That was you who drew all those dicks on me last week? 1628 01:30:10,560 --> 01:30:12,835 - Yeah, I drew the dicks. Busted! - Oh, my God! 1629 01:30:12,920 --> 01:30:14,319 Oh, shit! 1630 01:30:14,400 --> 01:30:16,072 Don't worry. Get up. We'll cut through the back roads. 1631 01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:17,912 - Wait, what? - You navigate. I'll drive. 1632 01:30:22,760 --> 01:30:25,354 Watch out! Watch out! Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1633 01:30:25,480 --> 01:30:27,277 What the hell, man? 1634 01:30:34,920 --> 01:30:36,672 What the hell is going on? 1635 01:30:38,560 --> 01:30:41,711 - Whoa! Got ourselves a bogey. - All right, let's do this! 1636 01:30:47,680 --> 01:30:49,750 Fuck! We gotta lose some of this weight. 1637 01:30:49,880 --> 01:30:51,677 Pam, throw some of this shit out of here! 1638 01:30:51,800 --> 01:30:55,634 Hey, look, it's Pam. He's the good kind of Greek. 1639 01:30:55,760 --> 01:30:56,988 Hey! 1640 01:30:57,080 --> 01:30:58,433 Hey, Gene. Hey, Gary. 1641 01:31:01,520 --> 01:31:03,272 How do you know how to drive like that, Dad? 1642 01:31:04,440 --> 01:31:06,271 Damn it, Grandpa. Just tell him! 1643 01:31:06,360 --> 01:31:09,591 Uh... I was a Green Beret in Special Forces. 1644 01:31:09,680 --> 01:31:11,910 I taught insurgents behind enemy lines. 1645 01:31:12,000 --> 01:31:13,558 Mechanic was just my cover. 1646 01:31:13,640 --> 01:31:15,676 Good! We're all made up! 1647 01:31:15,760 --> 01:31:18,797 There they are! That's them! Let's go, go, go! 1648 01:31:22,200 --> 01:31:24,191 - Shadia! - Jason? 1649 01:31:24,280 --> 01:31:27,033 Stop the bus! I need to talk to you! 1650 01:31:27,120 --> 01:31:28,155 What are you doing here 1651 01:31:28,240 --> 01:31:29,719 - in an ice cream truck? - Stop the bus! 1652 01:31:29,800 --> 01:31:31,119 - Okay! - Pull over! 1653 01:31:31,200 --> 01:31:33,191 I'm not pulling over! 1654 01:31:33,280 --> 01:31:36,078 Thanks a lot, Pam! You narc! 1655 01:31:36,160 --> 01:31:39,596 What! I'm not a narc, Barry! Fuck you! 1656 01:31:39,720 --> 01:31:40,948 Pam, you know him? 1657 01:31:41,040 --> 01:31:42,951 Barry? Yeah, he's, like, my best friend. 1658 01:31:43,040 --> 01:31:45,270 I sold him, like, six tons of ecstasy... Oh! 1659 01:31:45,360 --> 01:31:47,749 That's why they're not stopping the bus. 1660 01:31:47,840 --> 01:31:51,753 It's full of drugs. Classic Pam. 1661 01:31:51,840 --> 01:31:53,239 - I know that man. - Stop the bus! 1662 01:31:53,360 --> 01:31:56,557 - Jason, where are you going? - What are you doing? 1663 01:31:58,120 --> 01:31:59,712 What are they... 1664 01:32:11,200 --> 01:32:12,599 You'd better marry that girl. 1665 01:32:12,680 --> 01:32:15,035 Me? Nah, she's not really my type. Too skinny. 1666 01:32:24,920 --> 01:32:26,558 What the fuck? 1667 01:32:27,640 --> 01:32:29,358 Slow down! Oh, my God! 1668 01:32:29,480 --> 01:32:31,357 What are you doing? 1669 01:32:31,480 --> 01:32:33,436 Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1670 01:32:33,520 --> 01:32:34,589 Slow down, dude! 1671 01:32:43,080 --> 01:32:45,116 - Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! - Go get her, man! 1672 01:32:46,480 --> 01:32:48,038 What is going on? What just happened? 1673 01:32:48,120 --> 01:32:51,590 Hey. I don't even fucking know, but I'm not getting married. 1674 01:32:51,680 --> 01:32:56,629 Okay, so that makes it okay that you were lying to me? 1675 01:32:56,720 --> 01:32:57,948 No. No, it doesn't. 1676 01:32:58,040 --> 01:33:01,589 But you have to admit that when we were together it felt great. 1677 01:33:01,720 --> 01:33:05,633 - There was something real there. - Yeah. 1678 01:33:07,640 --> 01:33:13,112 - What do you want from me, Jason? - I want you to stay. 1679 01:33:16,800 --> 01:33:19,712 I just can't stay. 1680 01:33:22,240 --> 01:33:24,390 Okay. 1681 01:33:24,480 --> 01:33:26,789 No, I get it. 1682 01:33:26,880 --> 01:33:28,791 Yeah. 1683 01:33:34,440 --> 01:33:35,953 What if I come with you? 1684 01:33:37,880 --> 01:33:39,472 Come... 1685 01:33:40,880 --> 01:33:42,438 - Really? - I mean... 1686 01:33:43,760 --> 01:33:48,390 I just broke up with my fiancée, lost my job. 1687 01:33:48,480 --> 01:33:50,914 And I think I'm wanted by the police, so... 1688 01:33:51,000 --> 01:33:53,195 A year at sea... 1689 01:33:55,000 --> 01:33:57,275 ...might actually be the best place for me. 1690 01:33:59,680 --> 01:34:01,636 Okay. 1691 01:34:13,720 --> 01:34:16,518 - Break it up, lesbians! Let's go. - Get down on the ground! 1692 01:34:16,600 --> 01:34:18,200 We're doing this because you're lesbians! 1693 01:34:18,280 --> 01:34:19,759 Get down on the ground! 1694 01:34:19,880 --> 01:34:23,998 According to lnterstate Statute 17.37, 1695 01:34:24,080 --> 01:34:26,594 arrests made on the lnterstate Highway System 1696 01:34:26,720 --> 01:34:29,757 must be executed by state police, not your local law enforcement 1697 01:34:29,840 --> 01:34:31,796 from your adjacent municipalities. 1698 01:34:31,880 --> 01:34:35,236 You seem, like, really familiar with the penal code. 1699 01:34:35,320 --> 01:34:38,676 You seem real cocksure about the juris-dick-tion you're in. 1700 01:34:38,760 --> 01:34:41,718 Real cocksure! Someone drew dicks all over your face, you idiot! 1701 01:34:41,800 --> 01:34:43,791 Well, look at that! You got dicks on your face. 1702 01:34:43,880 --> 01:34:46,440 That middle one's mine. Look it, this one right here. 1703 01:34:46,520 --> 01:34:48,988 - I traced it. - I thought I recognized that! 1704 01:34:49,120 --> 01:34:51,475 Enough catching up. Let my friends go. 1705 01:34:51,560 --> 01:34:54,074 They've literally done nothing wrong. 1706 01:34:54,160 --> 01:34:56,390 Pam, we've got obstruction of justice here. 1707 01:34:56,480 --> 01:35:00,314 - We got reckless endangerment. - The bus is full of drugs, I get it. 1708 01:35:00,400 --> 01:35:02,118 Ooh, speaking of which, I've got to get out of here. 1709 01:35:02,200 --> 01:35:05,192 I got three keys of "Frisbees" showing up to the store today, so... 1710 01:35:05,280 --> 01:35:09,478 - I should go, question mark? - Why don't you take my squad car. 1711 01:35:09,560 --> 01:35:10,879 That's a good idea. Give him your keys. 1712 01:35:10,960 --> 01:35:13,269 - You mean these keys? - There they are. 1713 01:35:14,720 --> 01:35:16,392 - Get out! - Classic Pam. 1714 01:35:16,520 --> 01:35:18,476 Classic Pam. What do you say we get some lunch? 1715 01:35:18,560 --> 01:35:19,595 Love it. 1716 01:35:21,600 --> 01:35:23,511 See you fucks later. 1717 01:35:23,600 --> 01:35:28,833 So, uh, I'm gonna go with her. 1718 01:35:30,760 --> 01:35:34,548 Yeah, you should. She seems real nice. 1719 01:35:36,080 --> 01:35:39,675 You know, I think this is our only way back now, 1720 01:35:39,760 --> 01:35:43,230 so I'm gonna try to get these cocks off of my face 1721 01:35:43,320 --> 01:35:45,959 and get that truck started. 1722 01:35:48,280 --> 01:35:50,635 - Just give me one sec. - Yeah. 1723 01:35:58,280 --> 01:36:00,840 Grandpa... 1724 01:36:00,920 --> 01:36:03,275 - Thank you for... - Don't give me any of that shit. 1725 01:36:03,400 --> 01:36:05,038 Just let me know when you get back. 1726 01:36:05,120 --> 01:36:08,590 And I actually want to see your photos in Time magazine. 1727 01:36:08,680 --> 01:36:11,877 This camera set me back three months of my army pension! 1728 01:36:25,480 --> 01:36:26,879 Thanks, Grandpa. 1729 01:36:27,680 --> 01:36:32,310 - Oh, and, Jason... - Yeah? 1730 01:36:34,160 --> 01:36:36,276 Back in the '80s, when Andre the Giant 1731 01:36:36,360 --> 01:36:39,238 used to go to the Playboy Mansion, 1732 01:36:39,320 --> 01:36:42,756 he'd stack five playmates on top of each other on a bed 1733 01:36:42,840 --> 01:36:44,956 and fingerfuck them all. Five at a time. 1734 01:36:45,040 --> 01:36:46,837 Because his hands were so big. 1735 01:36:49,160 --> 01:36:53,199 So... that's it. 1736 01:36:57,880 --> 01:37:00,440 Thanks, Grandpa. 1737 01:37:00,520 --> 01:37:02,317 "De Oppresso Liber." 1738 01:37:03,880 --> 01:37:05,632 Motto of the Green Berets. 1739 01:37:07,200 --> 01:37:09,031 It means "to liberate the oppressed." 1740 01:37:22,360 --> 01:37:25,033 - Hey. You ready? - Yep. 1741 01:37:32,400 --> 01:37:35,312 I don't think he's gonna find anybody as good as me. 1742 01:37:36,920 --> 01:37:40,151 I'm sorry, but you know what they say... 1743 01:37:40,240 --> 01:37:43,232 Um... tough times 1744 01:37:43,320 --> 01:37:46,198 can sometimes lead to tougher people. 1745 01:37:46,280 --> 01:37:49,158 - Hm. - That's Kurt Vonnegut. 1746 01:37:57,200 --> 01:37:58,872 Yeah. 1747 01:38:08,360 --> 01:38:10,828 Holy fucking shit! 1748 01:38:12,760 --> 01:38:14,830 Has anyone ever told you that you have the pussy 1749 01:38:14,920 --> 01:38:16,069 of an English sheepdog? 1750 01:38:27,960 --> 01:38:29,632 Well, thanks for the ride. 1751 01:38:31,960 --> 01:38:33,313 You gonna be okay, Dad? 1752 01:38:35,600 --> 01:38:37,238 I miss her. 1753 01:38:39,280 --> 01:38:40,918 But I'll be okay. 1754 01:38:44,800 --> 01:38:51,035 - I was a shitty father and I'm sorry. - Well, we'll work on it. 1755 01:39:07,160 --> 01:39:09,674 You're a hard man to track down, professor. 1756 01:39:13,320 --> 01:39:16,392 - Are those my pants? - Yeah, these are your pants. 1757 01:39:16,480 --> 01:39:18,391 I found a Werther's Original in the pocket 1758 01:39:18,480 --> 01:39:20,311 and I've been sucking on it all morning. 1759 01:39:20,400 --> 01:39:23,915 You do know that I'm not a professor, right? 1760 01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:25,115 Yeah, I know. 1761 01:39:25,200 --> 01:39:27,760 You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa, 1762 01:39:27,840 --> 01:39:30,912 and I'm just a girl from Long lsland City 1763 01:39:31,000 --> 01:39:32,592 who likes to fuck old people. 1764 01:39:33,840 --> 01:39:35,592 I like your pull-out couch. 1765 01:39:35,680 --> 01:39:38,478 Yeah, well, I got news for you. 1766 01:39:38,560 --> 01:39:41,836 That's the only thing that's gonna be pulling out tonight. 1767 01:39:41,920 --> 01:39:43,512 I'll be right back. 1768 01:40:00,640 --> 01:40:01,959 Oh, hey. 1769 01:40:02,040 --> 01:40:06,636 Look, I'm... I'm sorry. I don't know if I can do this. 1770 01:40:06,720 --> 01:40:08,119 I haven't done it for a long time. 1771 01:40:27,280 --> 01:40:30,238 Whoops! I guess they just slipped off. 1772 01:40:31,800 --> 01:40:34,758 I want you to tear open my bra like it's a social security check. 1773 01:40:45,480 --> 01:40:47,755 Tell me you've fallen and you can't get up. 1774 01:40:47,840 --> 01:40:50,673 "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up." 1775 01:40:50,760 --> 01:40:51,988 Oh, no! 1776 01:40:53,440 --> 01:40:56,113 Now fumble around and pretend like you're trying to find your glasses. 1777 01:40:56,200 --> 01:40:58,316 "I'm trying to find my glasses. I can't see. 1778 01:40:59,920 --> 01:41:03,549 I found them! I can see! I can see!" 1779 01:41:03,640 --> 01:41:06,677 Tell me it's 4:00 and you want to eat dinner. 1780 01:41:06,760 --> 01:41:08,910 "It's 4:00 and I want to eat dinner." 1781 01:41:09,040 --> 01:41:10,473 Tell me the buttons on your remote control 1782 01:41:10,560 --> 01:41:12,710 are so small that you can't find Fox News. 1783 01:41:12,800 --> 01:41:16,509 "The buttons on my remote control are so small I can't find Fox News!" 1784 01:41:16,600 --> 01:41:18,875 - Tell me how small they are! - "They're real small!" 1785 01:41:18,960 --> 01:41:20,800 Tell me how this neighborhood used to be safer! 1786 01:41:20,840 --> 01:41:22,353 "This neighborhood used to be safer!" 1787 01:41:22,440 --> 01:41:24,476 Tell me how things were better under Eisenhower! 1788 01:41:24,560 --> 01:41:26,596 "Things were better under Eisenhower!" 1789 01:41:26,680 --> 01:41:29,513 - We like Ike! - We like Ike! 1790 01:41:29,600 --> 01:41:37,029 We like lke! 1791 01:41:38,960 --> 01:41:40,280 Are you cumming or dying? 1792 01:41:40,320 --> 01:41:42,993 I'm not sure! Maybe both! 1793 01:41:53,960 --> 01:41:56,679 "...for as by a man came death. 1794 01:41:59,720 --> 01:42:04,271 By a man has come also life." 1795 01:42:04,360 --> 01:42:07,591 Richard Kelly II. 1796 01:42:07,680 --> 01:42:10,638 Congratulations on the baby's new godparents, 1797 01:42:10,720 --> 01:42:12,597 - Jason and Shadia. - Aww! 1798 01:42:12,680 --> 01:42:13,908 Congratulations! 1799 01:42:16,320 --> 01:42:19,756 Back to Mommy. All baptized. 1800 01:42:19,840 --> 01:42:21,671 You just keep surprising me, Grandpa. 1801 01:42:22,640 --> 01:42:25,552 New dad at 72. Great fucking idea. 1802 01:42:25,640 --> 01:42:27,198 Hey, watch your potty mouth! 1803 01:42:27,280 --> 01:42:29,475 - Jesus, sorry... - Yeah, clean up your language. 1804 01:42:29,560 --> 01:42:31,596 And show some respect for your new grandmother! 1805 01:42:31,680 --> 01:42:33,200 - I'm sorry, honey. - That's all right. 1806 01:42:33,280 --> 01:42:36,113 And sweetie, would it kill you to visit us sometimes? 1807 01:42:36,200 --> 01:42:39,272 - We never see you. - Sorry, Nanna. 1808 01:42:39,360 --> 01:42:41,430 Did you get that card I sent for your birthday? 1809 01:42:41,520 --> 01:42:42,669 - Yeah. - Mm-hm. 1810 01:42:42,800 --> 01:42:46,031 Yeah, with the $12 check? It was a very nice touch. Thank you. 1811 01:42:46,120 --> 01:42:48,793 Thank you, that's right. Hey, are you gaining some weight? 1812 01:42:48,880 --> 01:42:50,871 - You look a little heavy in the face. - No, what are you talking about? 1813 01:42:50,960 --> 01:42:52,440 - Where'd this come from, huh? - What? 1814 01:42:52,560 --> 01:42:53,709 - You wanna... - Where'd these guys come from? 1815 01:42:53,800 --> 01:42:55,000 - What? - Wanna go get the car? 1816 01:42:55,040 --> 01:42:56,109 - Yeah. All right. - Okay. 1817 01:42:56,200 --> 01:42:58,998 I'll pull around the minivan. Go to Daddy. 1818 01:42:59,080 --> 01:43:03,471 There we go, come to Daddy. All right. 1819 01:43:04,840 --> 01:43:06,558 It's a little bit weird. 1820 01:43:07,440 --> 01:43:09,032 She's my grandma. 1821 01:43:10,880 --> 01:43:12,950 And you're my uncle. 1822 01:43:15,080 --> 01:43:17,469 - Look at that. - Holy shit! 1823 01:43:17,560 --> 01:43:20,233 - It's a good dick. - Oh, my God! Put that away. 1824 01:43:20,320 --> 01:43:21,639 - It's our dick. - Yeah. 1825 01:43:21,720 --> 01:43:23,312 I'm just relieved it's not his dick. 1826 01:43:26,040 --> 01:43:27,678 You want to get the bottle for me? 1827 01:43:27,760 --> 01:43:29,512 - Oh, yeah. - Hey! What you doing there? 1828 01:43:34,680 --> 01:43:36,318 Hey, Jason, you should check your diaper, bro. 1829 01:43:36,400 --> 01:43:38,072 I think you just shit your pants. 1830 01:43:38,160 --> 01:43:41,550 And in church, too, in front of God? 1831 01:43:41,640 --> 01:43:43,358 I don't get why you're here. 1832 01:43:43,440 --> 01:43:48,798 Oh! Someone made a doodie in their yum-yum! 1833 01:43:48,880 --> 01:43:51,840 I'm just gonna put this out there once. I know your baby just got baptized. 1834 01:43:51,920 --> 01:43:55,276 But I've got a guy in Tampa who will pay upwards of 60 grand 1835 01:43:55,360 --> 01:44:00,309 for a healthy, white, male baby that can fight. 1836 01:44:00,400 --> 01:44:01,799 This is a good deal, you should take it. 1837 01:44:01,920 --> 01:44:04,673 I don't know this guy that well, but he seems extremely trustworthy. 1838 01:44:04,800 --> 01:44:06,870 Oh, yeah. You interested? 1839 01:44:06,960 --> 01:44:09,520 - Classic Pam. - Classic Pam. 1840 01:44:09,600 --> 01:44:12,068 Knock-knock. Who's there? Classic Pam. 1841 01:44:15,720 --> 01:44:18,075 Guess it's never too late to start over. 1842 01:44:18,160 --> 01:44:20,799 Yeah, nice to have a second chance. 1843 01:44:20,880 --> 01:44:24,395 Maybe it won't take me so long to get the father thing right this time. 1844 01:44:26,840 --> 01:44:28,398 Right? 1845 01:44:28,480 --> 01:44:30,072 I'll go get his car seat. 1846 01:44:38,000 --> 01:44:39,797 Jamba! 1846 01:44:40,305 --> 01:45:40,577 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==-