1 00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:19,990 Hello, mon cher. 2 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,460 Coach! Over here. 3 00:00:27,170 --> 00:00:28,590 Thank God. 4 00:00:28,670 --> 00:00:30,260 Z-man, Dani. 5 00:00:33,970 --> 00:00:35,890 He looks like a beautiful angel-man. 6 00:00:40,050 --> 00:00:41,260 Good morning, sunshine. 7 00:00:41,350 --> 00:00:42,690 You okay? 8 00:00:42,770 --> 00:00:45,150 I didn't want to miss the bus, so I just slept in here. 9 00:00:45,230 --> 00:00:46,650 Sorry, I'm gonna vomit. Sorry. 10 00:00:47,350 --> 00:00:48,350 Oh, my God. 11 00:00:56,650 --> 00:00:58,690 Wait. What am I doing? This is my fucking room. 12 00:00:58,780 --> 00:01:00,370 Oi! Out. 13 00:01:04,790 --> 00:01:05,880 Hey, you. 14 00:01:06,790 --> 00:01:08,710 Hey. Good morning. 15 00:01:08,790 --> 00:01:10,540 I got you a coffee. 16 00:01:10,630 --> 00:01:12,170 -Thank you. -Yeah. 17 00:01:12,250 --> 00:01:13,330 You been up long? 18 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:15,340 Hour or two. 19 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,180 You know? I guess three hours total. 20 00:01:19,260 --> 00:01:20,550 Last night was fun. 21 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,890 Oh, yeah. Five stars. Certified fresh. 22 00:01:25,270 --> 00:01:27,360 -Have you got to go? -Yeah. 23 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:29,940 But, you know, you don't need to rush out or anything. 24 00:01:30,020 --> 00:01:31,770 I got you a late checkout. 25 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:34,610 That's very thoughtful of you. 26 00:01:35,110 --> 00:01:36,570 Go on then. You go. 27 00:01:36,650 --> 00:01:37,940 I'm gonna go back to sleep, 28 00:01:38,030 --> 00:01:41,910 and then I'm gonna order a huge breakfast on your tab. 29 00:01:41,990 --> 00:01:43,990 That's a pro move right there. Yeah. 30 00:01:44,080 --> 00:01:46,460 Hey, I'll be your Underhills anytime. 31 00:01:46,830 --> 00:01:49,960 Okay. Well... I'll see you around, I guess. 32 00:02:29,660 --> 00:02:30,660 Coach. 33 00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:34,380 Hey, Coach. 34 00:02:35,500 --> 00:02:36,750 -Coach. -Yeah? 35 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,840 -Something on your mind, Coach? -No, why? 36 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:41,380 We just had a five-hour bus ride where you didn't talk a lick, 37 00:02:41,470 --> 00:02:43,470 and that's a record by about five hours. 38 00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:50,180 Okay, look. I'm gonna tell you something 39 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,310 but then I don't wanna talk about it ever again, okay? 40 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,990 -Okay. -I'm serious. 41 00:02:54,060 --> 00:02:55,480 I don't want to make jokes about it. 42 00:02:55,570 --> 00:02:57,990 I don't want you giving me any knowing glances. 43 00:02:58,070 --> 00:02:59,360 -You know what I mean? Okay. -Okay. 44 00:03:01,950 --> 00:03:03,660 Last night, I... 45 00:03:04,950 --> 00:03:07,200 I slept with Rebecca's friend Sassy. 46 00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:11,960 -Want to talk about it? -I'd love to. Yeah. Immediately. 47 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,420 There you are. 48 00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,170 I thought this room was haunted. 49 00:03:18,750 --> 00:03:20,420 No. We sorted that. 50 00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:22,810 Is now a good time? 51 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,090 Yeah. You can come in. She can't hear anything with those in. 52 00:03:25,180 --> 00:03:26,180 You sure? 53 00:03:27,260 --> 00:03:29,640 Gail, you think the royal family are lizards, right? 54 00:03:32,100 --> 00:03:34,270 Twenty-three. So young. 55 00:03:34,350 --> 00:03:35,690 What's she listening to? 56 00:03:35,770 --> 00:03:37,480 Always murder podcasts. 57 00:03:40,230 --> 00:03:41,820 Last night was crazy. 58 00:03:41,900 --> 00:03:44,990 Right, yeah. It was pretty sloppy. 59 00:03:46,160 --> 00:03:50,040 I could really use a bucket of coffee to nurse this hangover. 60 00:03:52,830 --> 00:03:54,960 Do you wanna go get one with me when you're done? 61 00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,710 Not today. I can't. I'm busy. 62 00:03:57,790 --> 00:03:59,000 He's lying. 63 00:04:00,590 --> 00:04:02,550 Right. I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, 64 00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:05,590 'cause she's about to go to town on my hamstrings and I make a lot of noises, 65 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,430 and I don't like people hearing my noises. 66 00:04:07,510 --> 00:04:09,720 Cool. All right. I'll see you around, yeah? 67 00:04:10,390 --> 00:04:11,390 Okay. 68 00:04:13,600 --> 00:04:16,770 'Cause, look, it's just not something I've ever done before, okay? 69 00:04:16,850 --> 00:04:20,270 And look, I got no judgment on people that have one-night stands, okay? 70 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:24,490 I mean, if you are, you know, nuts for butts, have at it. That's what I say. 71 00:04:24,570 --> 00:04:25,700 Coach, did you have fun? 72 00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:28,410 Come on, Coach. I don't like all that kiss-and-tell stuff. 73 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:31,030 Coach, did you have fun? 74 00:04:34,210 --> 00:04:35,380 And did she have fun? 75 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:41,170 Yeah, that movement's making me feel queasy. 76 00:04:41,250 --> 00:04:42,960 Okay. So, then what's the problem? 77 00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:45,760 I mean, maybe I just haven't really come to peace with the fact 78 00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:50,100 that I went from having a mental breakdown at a karaoke joint in Liverpool 79 00:04:50,180 --> 00:04:52,560 to, you know, sleeping with a woman I just met. 80 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,100 And then somewhere in between there, getting a divorce. 81 00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:57,810 -Well, it makes sense to me. -I must say that this is lovely. 82 00:04:58,650 --> 00:04:59,650 Ever since I was little, 83 00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,860 I always used to dream about sitting down with a bunch of mates 84 00:05:01,940 --> 00:05:04,030 talking about the complex dynamics between men and women. 85 00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:09,030 Okay, here's another question for y'all. Should I tell Rebecca? 86 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,210 -No. -Come on now. Why not? 87 00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:14,200 I mean, it'd break my heart if I found out she was hiding something from me. 88 00:05:18,670 --> 00:05:21,380 -What's happening? You having a meeting? -Yep. I'm having lady problems. 89 00:05:21,460 --> 00:05:23,300 -I'd love to get your perspective on it. -No. 90 00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:25,970 Ted, can I be honest with you? 91 00:05:26,050 --> 00:05:27,260 Come on, let it rip. 92 00:05:27,340 --> 00:05:31,300 You seem intent on going 12 rounds with yourself. Why? 93 00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:33,260 What did you do wrong? 94 00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:35,100 He's right. 95 00:05:35,930 --> 00:05:37,270 Time to get you some of these. 96 00:05:37,690 --> 00:05:38,690 What, scissors? 97 00:05:38,770 --> 00:05:40,520 Yeah. To cut yourself some slack. 98 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:43,770 Wow. 99 00:05:44,570 --> 00:05:47,030 Y'all stuck the landing on that. That was nice. 100 00:05:47,110 --> 00:05:49,820 Tell you what, I gotta get you all some satin jackets made, 101 00:05:49,910 --> 00:05:53,500 with "Ted Lasso's Personal Dilemma Squad" embroidered on the back there. 102 00:05:53,580 --> 00:05:55,580 That's a clunky name. There's gotta be something better here. 103 00:05:55,660 --> 00:05:59,160 Let me think. I know. How about the "EQ Warriors"? 104 00:05:59,670 --> 00:06:01,300 The "Knights of Support"? 105 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:04,260 Nah. Sounds like a brand of jockstrap. 106 00:06:05,340 --> 00:06:07,880 The "Proud Boys"? 107 00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:11,840 What about the "Diamond Dogs"? 108 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,510 Attaboy, Nate. Diamond Dogs it is. 109 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,780 Come on, Roy. 110 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:37,920 I thought you were supposed to be in Manchester. 111 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000 We played West Ham, so I'm in town. 112 00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:43,670 Yeah. Come in. How you doing? 113 00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:44,880 Yeah, I'm good. 114 00:06:45,460 --> 00:06:48,090 I had ten touches, I had two completed dribbles, 115 00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:50,010 and in the 89th minute they let me take a free kick. 116 00:06:50,090 --> 00:06:51,880 I scored. Got half a chub. 117 00:06:51,970 --> 00:06:55,140 So you thought you'd bring your half-chub over here then, right? 118 00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,810 No. No, I just... wanted to talk. 119 00:06:59,310 --> 00:07:01,810 You know, everything happened so fast when Lasso dumped me. 120 00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:05,690 Oi. Come on. Lasso didn't dump you. Man City wanted you back. 121 00:07:05,770 --> 00:07:08,480 No, no. Lasso could have stopped it, but he didn't. Yeah. 122 00:07:08,570 --> 00:07:11,200 Just let me finish, yeah? 123 00:07:13,450 --> 00:07:14,870 I dated a lot of girls, right? 124 00:07:14,950 --> 00:07:19,750 But you, you saw an even greater Jamie inside an already great Jamie. 125 00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:23,540 You made me cultured. Took me to plays and shit. 126 00:07:23,620 --> 00:07:24,960 You hated all of that. 127 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,130 Yeah, 'cause it's confusing. 128 00:07:26,210 --> 00:07:29,340 They do all these emotional things, make you feel all these emotional ways. 129 00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:31,670 And then they get mad when you start trying to shout out 130 00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:33,390 and talk to them during a performance. 131 00:07:34,340 --> 00:07:35,550 It's weird. 132 00:07:38,010 --> 00:07:40,680 You also taught me to try to not get in me own way so much. 133 00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,270 So... thank you for that. 134 00:07:46,150 --> 00:07:47,530 You're welcome, Jamie. 135 00:07:52,110 --> 00:07:54,360 You know, this is the first time you've been over to this house 136 00:07:54,450 --> 00:07:56,450 and you haven't sent me some, like, weird sex emoji. 137 00:07:56,530 --> 00:08:01,080 -Like the eggplant or the squirting water. -Or the little squirrel. 138 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,200 The little squirrel. I never understood that one. 139 00:08:03,290 --> 00:08:05,250 Well, he's holding a little nut, isn't he? 140 00:08:05,330 --> 00:08:06,540 -Yeah. -Yeah. 141 00:08:06,630 --> 00:08:07,800 He is. Yeah. 142 00:08:10,250 --> 00:08:11,250 Right. 143 00:08:11,340 --> 00:08:12,880 Do you wanna have a drink with me? 144 00:08:13,930 --> 00:08:14,930 Nah. 145 00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:20,970 Unless by "drink" you mean... 146 00:08:23,850 --> 00:08:25,730 So that's how you get sex? 147 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,320 By not trying for sex? 148 00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:33,700 Sometimes that is exactly how it works. 149 00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:35,570 I never knew that. 150 00:08:40,530 --> 00:08:41,740 Morning, boss. 151 00:08:42,410 --> 00:08:45,750 Now, you don't just get biscuits today. 152 00:08:45,830 --> 00:08:48,580 I also got you a little box of chocolate truffles. 153 00:08:48,670 --> 00:08:51,170 Oh, you fucker. Don't do this to me. 154 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,540 What you should do is take one of them truffles 155 00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:56,260 and smoosh it in between the biscuits like it's a little breakfast sandwich-- 156 00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:57,720 Yeah, there you go. You got it. 157 00:08:58,300 --> 00:08:59,300 Yeah. 158 00:09:00,100 --> 00:09:04,690 Yeah. And hey, I wanna thank you again for being there for me up in Liverpool. 159 00:09:05,810 --> 00:09:07,940 -It was nothing, Ted. -No, no. It was something. 160 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:10,860 You got a coupon for life, young lady. Yeah. I got your back. 161 00:09:10,940 --> 00:09:14,240 Think of me as your own personal metaphorical Saint Bernard. 162 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,910 You don't need to be dealing with a metaphorical avalanche 163 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:20,240 to avail yourself to the metaphorical bourbon hanging around my neck. 164 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:21,950 Metaphorically speaking. Okay? 165 00:09:22,030 --> 00:09:23,030 All right now. 166 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,330 Actually, Ted. 167 00:09:24,950 --> 00:09:26,790 If you do want to be there for me, 168 00:09:26,870 --> 00:09:30,120 I have a meeting later with two minority owners of the club. 169 00:09:30,210 --> 00:09:31,210 The Milk sisters. 170 00:09:31,290 --> 00:09:33,420 The most horrible human cocktail 171 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:37,000 of being terribly dull and yet, they never shut up. 172 00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:38,090 Please join me. 173 00:09:38,180 --> 00:09:39,350 Done and doner. 174 00:09:40,140 --> 00:09:43,060 Perfect. I can just introduce you all, 175 00:09:43,140 --> 00:09:45,850 leave you wittering on, and slip out and do anything else. 176 00:09:45,930 --> 00:09:47,060 How much of the club they own? 177 00:09:47,140 --> 00:09:48,310 2,9%. 178 00:09:48,390 --> 00:09:52,310 I'm gonna round that down to two. Then I can call those gals the "2% Milks." 179 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:53,990 Oh, God. They're gonna adore you. 180 00:09:54,070 --> 00:09:56,820 It's gonna be fun. All right. I'll leave you be. See ya now. 181 00:09:59,110 --> 00:10:01,530 In my experience, I've always found that endorsements work best 182 00:10:01,620 --> 00:10:03,040 if you really believe in the product. 183 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,750 So, I can find good opportunities for you guys 184 00:10:05,830 --> 00:10:07,540 if you let me know what you're into. 185 00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:08,830 I love Air Jordans. 186 00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:11,080 I'd fuck a pair of Jordans. 187 00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:13,460 All right. So, athletic wear then, yeah? 188 00:10:13,540 --> 00:10:15,540 I'm into issue-oriented products. 189 00:10:15,630 --> 00:10:17,420 You know, pro-environment or anti-pollution. 190 00:10:17,510 --> 00:10:18,550 That kind of thing. 191 00:10:18,630 --> 00:10:20,420 Oh, and also Air Jordans. 192 00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:22,220 But I don't want to sleep with them. 193 00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:23,760 Isaac, what about you? 194 00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,520 Rolos. 195 00:10:26,220 --> 00:10:29,560 So, sweets and chocolate then? 196 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:32,310 No. Just Rolos, yeah? 197 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,900 And none of that Sour Patch bullshit either, yeah? 198 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:36,520 Okay. 199 00:10:36,610 --> 00:10:39,150 Well, that's a great start from you guys. Thank you. 200 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:42,360 Hey, Captain. 201 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,240 What's all this? 202 00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:48,170 Rebecca's letting me use this room as my office 203 00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,960 until she sets me up with somewhere proper. That's why I have this. 204 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:53,710 So if they need to use the room, I can just shove everything into it. 205 00:10:53,790 --> 00:10:55,830 Efficient. Do you want to see a movie later? 206 00:10:56,460 --> 00:10:58,500 -What the fuck is wrong with you? -What? 207 00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:00,720 I asked you if you wanted to go get coffee with me yesterday 208 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,550 -and you said you were busy. -I was busy. 209 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,060 -You never texted me back last night. -Yeah. I was busy. 210 00:11:05,140 --> 00:11:07,060 What about the kiss? You took off like it was a shit kiss, 211 00:11:07,140 --> 00:11:09,020 and it was not a shit kiss. I was on fire. 212 00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:11,890 -I agree. -So what is your fucking problem, Roy? 213 00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:14,320 Listen, I'm a professional footballer. 214 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,530 I have had a million one-night stands. 215 00:11:16,610 --> 00:11:17,610 -So have I. -Great. 216 00:11:17,690 --> 00:11:19,530 -I don't know why we're bragging about it. -Neither do I. 217 00:11:19,610 --> 00:11:22,610 And they always feel empty. Well, not the first part. 218 00:11:22,700 --> 00:11:24,660 -No, at first they're wicked. -They're fucking great. 219 00:11:24,740 --> 00:11:27,030 -But when it's all done, I feel like-- -Like shit. 220 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:30,160 Exactly. And I always end up with my watch being stolen 221 00:11:30,250 --> 00:11:32,630 or a story in the press about how my penis has a curve in it. 222 00:11:32,710 --> 00:11:34,000 Does it actually? 223 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,920 No, I just make it feel like it does with my hips. 224 00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,790 Anyway, the point is, I'm trying to do this differently. 225 00:11:39,550 --> 00:11:42,470 I should have told you that. I apologize. 226 00:11:42,550 --> 00:11:48,600 And I am trying to be more honest. 227 00:11:49,310 --> 00:11:50,310 Thank you. 228 00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,100 Okay, then. 229 00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,900 I think you should know that I slept with Jamie. 230 00:11:56,980 --> 00:11:58,060 Yes, I am aware of that. 231 00:11:58,150 --> 00:11:59,530 I mean last night. 232 00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,910 I didn't think you were into me. 233 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,410 I didn't know what you wanted, and I knew exactly what he wanted. 234 00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:08,160 So you fucked him to get back at me for something I didn't even know I did. 235 00:12:08,660 --> 00:12:10,910 No. I-- No. 236 00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:12,660 No. 237 00:12:12,750 --> 00:12:13,750 Yes. 238 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:16,250 Yup. That's exactly what I did. 239 00:12:18,590 --> 00:12:21,010 I fucked up, Roy. I'm really sorry. 240 00:12:22,510 --> 00:12:24,100 But I need you to be okay with this. 241 00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:28,930 Well, why don't you just come and tell me how you feel about it 242 00:12:29,010 --> 00:12:30,550 once you've figured out how to speak again? 243 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,360 Hi, Roy. 244 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:53,120 Something on your mind? 245 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,290 Is that grunt all I get to go on? 246 00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:59,970 That's okay. I'll give it a shot here. Let's see. 247 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,960 You are thinking about buying your first house. 248 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:05,220 No, not that. Okay. 249 00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:08,510 You just realized your dad might be a little racist. 250 00:13:08,590 --> 00:13:11,130 Stop. He's in his 60s and he's from South London. 251 00:13:11,220 --> 00:13:12,560 Of course my dad's a little racist. 252 00:13:12,640 --> 00:13:15,390 Look, me and Keeley might be starting up a thing, 253 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:18,900 but every time I think about her, 254 00:13:18,980 --> 00:13:21,270 all I think about is Jamie fucking Tartt. 255 00:13:23,730 --> 00:13:27,610 Sounds to me like someone's trapped inside life's most complicated shape. 256 00:13:27,700 --> 00:13:28,700 A love triangle. 257 00:13:28,780 --> 00:13:31,950 Second place of course is the "I just walked in on my mother-in-law 258 00:13:32,030 --> 00:13:34,120 changing into her swimsuit" dodecahedron. 259 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:36,910 Does my face look like it's in the mood for shape-based jokes? 260 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,330 No, Roy, it does not. 261 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,960 But, in my defense, it rarely does. 262 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,080 I know exactly what to do here, though. 263 00:13:44,050 --> 00:13:45,590 What are you doing? 264 00:13:45,670 --> 00:13:47,670 Don't you fret, my fine furry fella. 265 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,720 In a matter of minutes, your relationship dilemma will be in the past. 266 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:54,180 For I am rounding up the Diamond Dogs. 267 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:56,310 Who the fuck are the Diamond Dogs? 268 00:13:56,390 --> 00:13:58,680 It's just a group of people who care, Roy. 269 00:13:58,770 --> 00:14:01,900 Not unlike folks at a hip-hop concert whose hands are not in the air. 270 00:14:01,980 --> 00:14:04,150 Okay, so this is about you and Keeley, right? 271 00:14:04,690 --> 00:14:07,820 -Saw this coming. -Nothing like the early days of courtship. 272 00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,610 Okay, this is my fucking nightmare. 273 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:12,540 I think the idea of you and Keeley is like cookies and cream. 274 00:14:12,620 --> 00:14:15,920 And I think we all agree, two great tastes that go great together, right? 275 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,210 -Yeah. -Perfect analogy. 276 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:20,040 Yes, I am into her. But we all know who her ex-boyfriend is. 277 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,160 The prince prick of all pricks. 278 00:14:22,250 --> 00:14:24,380 And I've got him stuck right in here. 279 00:14:24,460 --> 00:14:25,840 I don't understand the problem. 280 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:27,590 I mean, Keeley's just so kind. 281 00:14:27,670 --> 00:14:31,340 You know, to be liked by someone like her must be... 's wonderful. 282 00:14:31,430 --> 00:14:33,310 Shout out to the Gershwin brothers right there. 283 00:14:33,390 --> 00:14:34,730 Fuck yeah, the Gershwins. 284 00:14:34,810 --> 00:14:36,440 But dang it, fellas, you're still not getting it! 285 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,480 Thank you. 286 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,440 Sure, Roy here has slept with a bunch of different people in his past. 287 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,570 But Keeley's got her own romantic and sexual history that predates Roy. 288 00:14:45,650 --> 00:14:46,980 And that's not okay! 289 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:49,240 He means the opposite. 290 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,200 I love it when Coach does sarcasm. 291 00:14:51,780 --> 00:14:53,240 I can't control my feelings. 292 00:14:53,320 --> 00:14:56,200 Well, then by all means you should let them control you. 293 00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:58,330 He's doing it again. 294 00:14:58,910 --> 00:15:00,080 Good eye. 295 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:03,000 Look, Roy, all this Chandler Bing-ing aside, do me a favor. 296 00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:05,370 Don't let her past muck around with y'all's future, okay? 297 00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:07,590 She slept with him last night. 298 00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:13,050 -I mean, are you two officially dating? -No. 299 00:15:13,140 --> 00:15:15,100 -Have you already slept together? -No. 300 00:15:15,180 --> 00:15:16,810 Coach, you wanna bring this home? 301 00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:20,640 Grow up and get over it. 302 00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,480 The Diamond Dogs have struck again. 303 00:15:29,740 --> 00:15:30,740 You're all pricks. 304 00:15:35,410 --> 00:15:37,870 All righty. See the Milk sisters anywhere? 305 00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,580 You want me to go skim the back room? 306 00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,250 -Don't make me regret this, Ted. -Don't worry, don't worry. 307 00:15:42,330 --> 00:15:44,000 I'm gonna be an udder gentleman, okay? 308 00:15:44,080 --> 00:15:47,880 Hey, I wonder if they've ever seen the movie Bridget Jones's Dairy. 309 00:15:48,550 --> 00:15:50,470 Sorry, that's not my breast milk pun. I can do better. 310 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:53,050 Oh, my God, this was a horrible idea. Seriously, please go home. 311 00:15:53,130 --> 00:15:55,420 -Come on. It's gonna be fun. -Stop. 312 00:15:57,430 --> 00:15:58,760 There she is. 313 00:16:02,440 --> 00:16:03,570 Rupert, what are you doing here? 314 00:16:03,640 --> 00:16:05,390 We came to celebrate. 315 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:07,690 Rebecca, Rebecca. Rebecca, Rebecca. 316 00:16:07,770 --> 00:16:09,110 It's nice to see you again. 317 00:16:09,650 --> 00:16:11,860 -And this is Ted. -Howdy. 318 00:16:11,940 --> 00:16:13,780 Yeah. Join us for a drink. 319 00:16:13,860 --> 00:16:16,240 Here you go, Rupert. Anything else? 320 00:16:16,320 --> 00:16:19,360 A couple more glasses for our friends here. Thank you, Mae. 321 00:16:19,450 --> 00:16:23,410 You are as delicious as ever. From your West End to your Marble Arch. 322 00:16:23,500 --> 00:16:25,000 Keep your Big Ben in your pants. 323 00:16:29,170 --> 00:16:30,250 Thank you for your invitation, 324 00:16:30,340 --> 00:16:32,130 but we're actually here to meet with the Milk sisters. 325 00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:33,600 They won't be coming now. 326 00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:35,340 Oh, no. Did they expire? 327 00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:36,430 What? 328 00:16:37,350 --> 00:16:38,850 So, yeah, I... 329 00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:44,600 I know I'm not allowed an ownership stake in the club, 330 00:16:44,690 --> 00:16:48,530 but they were nice enough to sell their minority share to Bex here. 331 00:16:49,150 --> 00:16:51,740 I always thought I'd finish paying off my student loans 332 00:16:51,820 --> 00:16:54,110 before I purchased a football club. 333 00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:58,900 Obviously, she needed a little financial aid from yours truly. 334 00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:02,370 But, well, when we're married, what's hers will be mine 335 00:17:02,450 --> 00:17:07,040 and what's mine... well, that'll stay mine 'cause I've learned from you. 336 00:17:07,670 --> 00:17:08,800 You're engaged? 337 00:17:13,130 --> 00:17:14,840 Hey. Congratulations. 338 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,210 So you better join us for a drink. 339 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:19,840 Everyone! Drinks with us. It's on me. 340 00:17:21,810 --> 00:17:25,520 Three lagers, please, Mae. They're free. We want the boots. 341 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:27,480 To Richmond! 342 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:30,350 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 343 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,400 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 344 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:37,200 Right. The product you'd most like to get into business with is joy? 345 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,120 Sí. Mucho, mucho joy. 346 00:17:39,570 --> 00:17:42,110 I don't know if I can get you paid for that though, Dani. 347 00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,370 I like to give away joy for free. 348 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,040 -All right, thanks, Dani. -You're welcome. 349 00:17:48,290 --> 00:17:51,000 Hey. Football is life, Capitán. 350 00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:52,460 Yup. 351 00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:59,350 I'm done being mad about Jamie. 352 00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:01,850 I'm a grown man. I'm not a baby child. 353 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:04,690 I'm over it. 354 00:18:04,770 --> 00:18:07,400 Right. Would you mind saying that to the rest of the room? 355 00:18:08,390 --> 00:18:10,020 I mean, the press deserves to know. 356 00:18:17,860 --> 00:18:18,900 Mr. Kent! 357 00:18:18,990 --> 00:18:21,740 -Yeah. -Hi. Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman. 358 00:18:22,580 --> 00:18:24,370 Would you please repeat what you just said? 359 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:26,910 I'm over it. 360 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:29,290 Can I take you out tonight? Please? 361 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:35,920 Yeah. You. 362 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:39,340 Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman Online Edition. 363 00:18:39,430 --> 00:18:41,970 So, why should I trust this sudden change of heart? 364 00:18:43,350 --> 00:18:45,310 'Cause I like you more than I hate him. 365 00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,890 I mean, barely. It's very close. 366 00:18:51,980 --> 00:18:53,440 Yeah. Woman with the hair. 367 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:55,480 Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman Magazine. 368 00:18:55,570 --> 00:18:58,280 Where would you take me if I did say yes? 369 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,530 -I don't know. Coffee? -Can't do any better? 370 00:19:01,610 --> 00:19:03,740 -Dinner. -Yeah, that sounds great. 371 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,170 Yeah, woman with the fucking eyes. 372 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:14,040 Keeley Jones, The Independent Woman insert on Sunday. 373 00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:15,970 Could you please elaborate on the hip movement 374 00:19:16,050 --> 00:19:18,430 that makes your penis feel like it has a curve in it? 375 00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:20,890 Right, no more questions. We'll see you on the pitch. 376 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:25,840 To Rupert! 377 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,640 Friends, Richmonds, countrymen. 378 00:19:30,730 --> 00:19:33,860 Our club's nightmare is over now. I'm back. 379 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:36,900 Thank God. 'Cause Ted Lasso sucks. 380 00:19:36,980 --> 00:19:38,940 -No offense, Ted. -All good, Baz. 381 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:40,990 You, Jeremy, and Paul have been refreshingly candid 382 00:19:41,070 --> 00:19:42,320 about y'all's feelings. 383 00:19:42,410 --> 00:19:44,370 Pretty cool Premier League gaffer knows our names. 384 00:19:44,450 --> 00:19:46,120 -I know, right? -Shut up, you twats. 385 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,450 I'm trying again. No help. 386 00:19:48,540 --> 00:19:50,380 Right. So, if she hits the board, 387 00:19:50,450 --> 00:19:52,490 I want it to sound like we just won the FA Cup. 388 00:19:58,920 --> 00:19:59,920 You wanna leave? 389 00:20:01,010 --> 00:20:02,470 I don't wanna give him the satisfaction. 390 00:20:03,300 --> 00:20:06,850 So, Rebecca, it's time to be friends again. 391 00:20:06,930 --> 00:20:11,190 Especially since Bex and I are gonna be sitting with you 392 00:20:11,270 --> 00:20:13,650 every week in that owner's box. 393 00:20:13,730 --> 00:20:14,900 I'm not going every week. 394 00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,440 Well, I am. 395 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:21,360 And every week, when they shove a camera in my face 396 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:25,320 and ask me how I think you're doing, I will tell them. 397 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:28,910 It'll be relentless. 398 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:36,000 So, Rupert, y'all take your darts over here pretty seriously, huh? 399 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,920 This and... what's the billiard game y'all do 400 00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:40,880 that sounds like a brand of cookies? 401 00:20:41,510 --> 00:20:43,300 -Snooker? -That's it. That's the one, yup. 402 00:20:43,380 --> 00:20:46,800 Boy, I'd love to curl up on a couch under a weighted blanket, 403 00:20:46,890 --> 00:20:49,730 watch You've Got Mail and devour a box of Snookers. 404 00:20:51,850 --> 00:20:52,850 See what we got here. 405 00:20:53,850 --> 00:20:55,020 Hey! There it is. 406 00:20:55,650 --> 00:20:58,860 -Do you like darts, Ted? -They're okay. 407 00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:02,190 I'm more of a, you know, cornhole man myself. Yeah. 408 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,280 How about a game? 409 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:09,570 We could, you know, maybe wager, say, £10,000? 410 00:21:11,330 --> 00:21:14,670 Well, as my doctor told me when I got addicted to fettuccine Alfredo, 411 00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:16,540 that's a little rich for my blood. 412 00:21:17,250 --> 00:21:19,210 How about this? If you win, 413 00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:21,830 I'll let you pick the starting lineup of the last two games of the season. 414 00:21:22,380 --> 00:21:25,420 But if I win, you can't go anywhere near the owner's box, 415 00:21:25,510 --> 00:21:27,050 at least not while Rebecca's still in charge. 416 00:21:27,130 --> 00:21:28,340 Ted. 417 00:21:29,300 --> 00:21:30,430 What the hell are you doing? 418 00:21:30,510 --> 00:21:32,180 I believe some folks call it white knighting, 419 00:21:32,270 --> 00:21:33,480 but I'm just following my gut here. 420 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,560 -It's okay. -No. Ted. 421 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:37,480 -What do you think? -You're on. 422 00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:39,810 -Okay. -Double in, double out. 423 00:21:39,900 --> 00:21:41,740 Whatever you say, Rupe-a-dupes. Yeah. 424 00:21:41,820 --> 00:21:44,570 Just let me know if I'm winning or losing, all right? 425 00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:46,570 I forgot I had these on me. 426 00:21:48,870 --> 00:21:50,410 Yeah. Wait a second. 427 00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:52,950 I forgot I'm left-handed. 428 00:21:55,450 --> 00:21:56,990 This is gonna be a hoot. 429 00:21:59,380 --> 00:22:01,380 -So where are we going for dinner? -It's a surprise. 430 00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:03,040 Cool. 431 00:22:06,220 --> 00:22:07,560 I need to ask you something. 432 00:22:07,630 --> 00:22:11,300 So, the other day when you said you were too busy to text me back... 433 00:22:11,390 --> 00:22:12,850 Yeah, 'cause I was busy. 434 00:22:12,930 --> 00:22:14,890 But you never told me what you were too busy with. 435 00:22:14,970 --> 00:22:16,430 Yeah, 'cause it was private. 436 00:22:17,770 --> 00:22:19,520 Are you dating other people? 437 00:22:20,350 --> 00:22:23,270 It's okay if you are. It's just that I wanna know so that I don't look stupid. 438 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:25,070 It was yoga, okay? 439 00:22:25,150 --> 00:22:27,280 I do yoga with a group of women in their 60s. 440 00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:28,650 They have no idea who I am, 441 00:22:28,740 --> 00:22:30,740 it's twice a week and it's really good for my core. 442 00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:33,320 Normally only takes an hour, but Maureen's been going through a divorce 443 00:22:33,410 --> 00:22:35,330 and she needed to talk about it and blow off some steam. 444 00:22:35,410 --> 00:22:37,290 We all ended up at G-A-Y till 2:00 a.m. 445 00:22:37,370 --> 00:22:39,830 and then we had crepes in Balham with some drag queens. 446 00:22:41,420 --> 00:22:44,130 Like I said, it's private. 447 00:22:44,210 --> 00:22:45,540 I'm gonna kiss you now. 448 00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:47,970 Unless it's gonna make you run away again. 449 00:22:48,050 --> 00:22:51,930 I know that you wanna take this slow and I really do respect that, but it-- 450 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,400 Maybe I could just touch your arse a little bit or you could touch mine-- 451 00:23:05,690 --> 00:23:07,730 Where's your manners? 452 00:23:08,690 --> 00:23:10,610 You're supposed to ask before you take something. 453 00:23:11,530 --> 00:23:13,700 For example, may I take this? 454 00:23:13,780 --> 00:23:15,530 -No. -Well, I'm fucking taking it. 455 00:23:16,290 --> 00:23:18,580 Here. It's pictures of our first date. 456 00:23:19,370 --> 00:23:21,330 Come on. I'm cooking for you. 457 00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:27,420 One hundred and eighty! 458 00:23:27,510 --> 00:23:28,890 Well in, Rupert. Get in! 459 00:23:28,970 --> 00:23:31,470 Shut your stupid little twat mouth or I will shut it for you. 460 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,340 Shall I be giving you the lineup card now, Ted? 461 00:23:35,430 --> 00:23:39,390 I shall be putting Obisanya back on defense where he belongs. 462 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:41,440 That's exactly what I said, didn't I? 463 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:43,520 Now, now, it's not all Ted's fault. 464 00:23:43,600 --> 00:23:47,480 My ex-wife's the one who brought the hillbilly to our shores. 465 00:23:47,570 --> 00:23:49,200 I know she's always been a bit randy, 466 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,490 but I never thought she would fuck over an entire team. 467 00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:54,320 Hey! 468 00:23:55,660 --> 00:23:57,700 Better manners when I'm holding a dart. 469 00:23:57,790 --> 00:23:58,880 Please. 470 00:24:03,290 --> 00:24:05,290 Mae. What do I need to win? 471 00:24:05,380 --> 00:24:07,470 Two triple 20s and a bull's-eye. 472 00:24:09,630 --> 00:24:10,630 Good luck. 473 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,100 You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life. 474 00:24:18,010 --> 00:24:20,760 And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. 475 00:24:20,850 --> 00:24:23,520 But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school 476 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:27,100 and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman and it was painted on the wall there. 477 00:24:27,190 --> 00:24:30,230 It said, "Be curious, not judgmental." 478 00:24:31,190 --> 00:24:32,320 I like that. 479 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,620 So I get back in my car and I'm driving to work, 480 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:40,740 and all of a sudden it hits me. 481 00:24:40,830 --> 00:24:45,670 All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. 482 00:24:46,750 --> 00:24:48,630 They thought they had everything all figured out. 483 00:24:48,710 --> 00:24:52,210 So they judged everything, and they judged everyone. 484 00:24:53,380 --> 00:24:55,930 And I realized that their underestimating me... 485 00:24:57,890 --> 00:24:59,770 who I was had nothing to do with it. 486 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,600 'Cause if they were curious, they would've asked questions. 487 00:25:05,190 --> 00:25:06,400 You know? 488 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:09,900 Questions like, "Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?" 489 00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:17,450 To which I would've answered, "Yes, sir. 490 00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,660 Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father, 491 00:25:20,740 --> 00:25:23,660 from age ten till I was 16, when he passed away." 492 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:30,920 Barbecue sauce. 493 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,010 -Good game, Rupert. -Come on, let's go. 494 00:25:41,060 --> 00:25:44,270 You are a very lovely consolation prize. 495 00:25:44,770 --> 00:25:47,610 Rebecca, Ted, enjoy your evening. 496 00:25:47,690 --> 00:25:48,980 Mae, as always. 497 00:25:49,610 --> 00:25:52,280 Holy shit, that felt good. 498 00:25:52,360 --> 00:25:54,150 That was fun. Yeah. 499 00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:56,530 -Only one thing left to do now. -What's that? 500 00:25:59,030 --> 00:26:00,200 Do I have to? 501 00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,030 Drinks are on me! 502 00:26:19,140 --> 00:26:21,850 Fellas, I could watch you do this jaunty North Korean military thing 503 00:26:21,930 --> 00:26:23,770 you do all day, but I need a favor. 504 00:26:23,850 --> 00:26:25,140 We'll die for you, Coach! 505 00:26:25,220 --> 00:26:27,470 That's a little dramatic, Sam, but I see how you got there 506 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:28,940 with me invoking the military and all. 507 00:26:29,020 --> 00:26:30,190 Now here's what we're gonna do. 508 00:26:30,270 --> 00:26:32,190 How many of you fellas ever seen Sesame Street? 509 00:26:37,530 --> 00:26:40,330 -Good morning, Higgins. -Good morning. One sec. 510 00:26:40,410 --> 00:26:42,370 Yeah, that's good. Straighten up. All right. 511 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:45,570 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on one sec. Let me get in my spot. 512 00:26:45,660 --> 00:26:47,540 Okay. Here it comes, here it comes. Let's go. 513 00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,040 Hi, Ted. 514 00:26:54,630 --> 00:26:55,670 Can't hear you! 515 00:26:57,510 --> 00:26:59,220 Hi! 516 00:26:59,300 --> 00:27:01,050 Yeah! Yeah! 517 00:27:01,140 --> 00:27:02,730 We felt it, she felt it! 518 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,300 That's what I'm talking about. Yeah! Yeah! 519 00:27:06,520 --> 00:27:08,190 Got up too fast. 520 00:27:09,230 --> 00:27:12,150 Ted embarrassed the hell out of Rupert yesterday. 521 00:27:12,940 --> 00:27:13,940 That's good. 522 00:27:14,940 --> 00:27:15,940 Bit of bad news. 523 00:27:16,030 --> 00:27:21,040 We have ten thousand unsold seats for the final match of the season. 524 00:27:21,110 --> 00:27:22,490 Release them to the visitors. 525 00:27:23,660 --> 00:27:26,870 But Rebecca, Man City will snap those up. 526 00:27:26,950 --> 00:27:30,120 Our home stadium will be a sea of sky blue. 527 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,380 That'll kill Rupert. 528 00:27:32,460 --> 00:27:36,300 It'll hurt our chances. We're on the brink of relegation. 529 00:27:36,380 --> 00:27:37,800 Just do it, Higgins. 530 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,970 Oh, you know, fuck off! 531 00:27:42,050 --> 00:27:43,220 Excuse me? 532 00:27:43,300 --> 00:27:44,550 I'm sick of it. 533 00:27:45,810 --> 00:27:49,940 You won't take away your pain by constantly punishing Rupert. 534 00:27:50,020 --> 00:27:52,230 Where were these morals when you were having lunches with me 535 00:27:52,310 --> 00:27:53,850 so Rupert could have sex in our house? 536 00:27:55,230 --> 00:27:56,690 I thought we were friends. 537 00:27:57,650 --> 00:28:01,490 You had every opportunity to do the right thing and you never did. 538 00:28:01,570 --> 00:28:02,950 Fucking pussy. 539 00:28:03,740 --> 00:28:07,950 You're right. I deserve to carry that around. I do. 540 00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:13,460 I should've been braver, and I'm sorry for that. I am. 541 00:28:13,540 --> 00:28:17,250 But I'm saying this to you now. Stop it. 542 00:28:17,340 --> 00:28:18,630 Or what? 543 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:20,760 I quit. 544 00:28:22,130 --> 00:28:23,670 I know how this goes. 545 00:28:24,220 --> 00:28:27,100 You'll come back, grovel for your job, and I'll take you back, 546 00:28:27,180 --> 00:28:30,100 but I will make your life just that little bit worse. 547 00:28:40,190 --> 00:28:41,440 Hi. 548 00:28:44,110 --> 00:28:45,900 You arranged for the photographer to take this. 549 00:28:45,990 --> 00:28:48,530 Roy and I found it on a paparazzi camera card. 550 00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:50,460 He said you hired him. 551 00:28:50,540 --> 00:28:53,210 Don't deny it or pretend that you don't know. 552 00:28:55,040 --> 00:28:57,420 Either you come clean to Ted or I'll do it for you.