1 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:32,670 Oh, boy. 2 00:00:34,260 --> 00:00:36,430 Morning, fellas. Sorry I'm late. 3 00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:40,560 Just needed to clear my head so I decided to, you know, walk to work. 4 00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:43,690 Turns out that clearing and walking in a town you don't know all too well 5 00:00:43,770 --> 00:00:45,650 can be a little tricky. 6 00:00:45,730 --> 00:00:48,070 Ended up getting lost but, you know, then I got unlost, 7 00:00:48,150 --> 00:00:49,570 then I got lost again but... 8 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:53,280 Well, you know, now I'm here, you know. Beard's here, Nate's here, which is great 9 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:55,320 because the world can be a sad, lonely place, but-- 10 00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:57,610 Hey, come on now, let's get to work, shall we? 11 00:00:57,700 --> 00:00:58,780 Michelle. 12 00:00:59,450 --> 00:01:00,290 Which is fine. 13 00:01:00,370 --> 00:01:03,080 You know, it's okay, 'cause it's a great time now for me to, 14 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:05,870 you know, bury myself in my work here. 15 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:07,340 And so-- Although, I'm not crazy-- 16 00:01:07,420 --> 00:01:09,590 I don't love the word "bury," you know what I mean? 17 00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:11,800 It's just got a negative connotation to it, don't it? 18 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,420 What's another word I could say? 19 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:17,710 Everyone loves a good bath, right? Just a nice warm bath, right? Yeah? 20 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,720 So that's what I'll say. I'll say, "I'm gonna bathe myself in work." 21 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,340 How 'bout that? That's good. That's good. 22 00:01:22,430 --> 00:01:24,180 Nate, you got a favorite bath bomb, buddy? 23 00:01:24,270 --> 00:01:27,320 No, I just don't really enjoy baths, just 'cause my skin gets really wrinkly, 24 00:01:27,390 --> 00:01:29,100 and I'm deeply worried about aging. 25 00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:32,110 Okay, I get that. What about you, Coach? You got a favorite bath bomb? 26 00:01:32,190 --> 00:01:33,270 Crème brûlée honey. 27 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,570 Honey? Is that an ingredient or something you just called me? 28 00:01:35,650 --> 00:01:36,820 -Ingredient. -Shoot. 29 00:01:36,900 --> 00:01:39,610 I was hoping it was the other one. But that's kind of a fun idea. 30 00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,950 Maybe we start calling each other little pet names. 31 00:01:42,030 --> 00:01:44,120 You know? Like "honey" or "babe," you know? 32 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,080 It might be nice, right? What do you think, Coach? 33 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:48,330 Nate, will you do me a favor here? 34 00:01:48,410 --> 00:01:50,580 Will you just help Coach plan practice for today? 35 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:52,710 -Absolutely. Yeah. -All right. Thank you, sweetie. 36 00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:54,790 Okay, I'll see y'all in a little bit. 37 00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:58,960 -Is he all right? -No. 38 00:02:22,030 --> 00:02:24,620 All right. Shall we? Sarah, why don't you lead us off? 39 00:02:24,700 --> 00:02:28,200 So, Coach Lasso. You finally won your first match. 40 00:02:28,290 --> 00:02:29,380 How's it feel? 41 00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:32,170 Well, Sarah, I believe you can outscore your opponent and still lose. 42 00:02:32,250 --> 00:02:34,250 Just like you can score less than them and win. 43 00:02:34,340 --> 00:02:37,050 But last week we definitely won, which is pretty darn fun. 44 00:02:37,710 --> 00:02:39,550 All right, next question. 45 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:42,220 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 46 00:02:42,300 --> 00:02:44,180 Trent Crimm, The Independent. 47 00:02:45,050 --> 00:02:48,220 Is it safe to assume that Jamie Tartt will be back on the pitch next match? 48 00:02:48,310 --> 00:02:50,900 Well, you know what they say when you assume, Trent? 49 00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:53,860 You make an arse outta you and me. Yeah? 50 00:02:55,230 --> 00:02:56,900 And that right there is another example 51 00:02:56,980 --> 00:03:00,440 of how our English and y'all's English sometimes do not jive, innit? 52 00:03:02,360 --> 00:03:05,200 But are you honestly gonna keep your best player on the bench? 53 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:08,830 Well, that depends on Jamie. He knows what we need from him. 54 00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:11,040 Let's keep it going, yeah? Kip, come on, hit me. 55 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:14,370 -Ted. Just the man I wanted to see. -Hey, boss. 56 00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:17,380 Your decision to bench Jamie Tartt was very brave. 57 00:03:17,460 --> 00:03:19,500 -Thank you. -I mean, a masterstroke. 58 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:21,590 I don't think we're allowed to talk like that at work anymore. 59 00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:22,960 There's just one complication now. 60 00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:24,430 Manchester City have called, 61 00:03:24,510 --> 00:03:27,100 and they've inquired about terminating Jamie's loan. 62 00:03:27,470 --> 00:03:29,600 -They're gonna take his house? -No. 63 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:32,980 Ted, Jamie's contract is owned by Manchester City, 64 00:03:33,060 --> 00:03:35,310 and they, in turn, loaned him to Richmond for the season. 65 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,150 Okay. I get it. 66 00:03:37,230 --> 00:03:39,480 They want Jamie back if you are planning to bench him. 67 00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:42,160 I'm not planning on that. No, my plan is for my plan to work. 68 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,490 But you know what they say about the best-laid plans, right? 69 00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:48,410 Said "plan" too many times. Word's lost all its meaning now. 70 00:03:48,490 --> 00:03:51,620 Plan. Plan. Plan. Doesn't matter. 71 00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:54,450 Hey, you tell Man City that this man has a plan. 72 00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:57,500 -Plan. Plan. Plan? -Plan. 73 00:03:57,590 --> 00:03:59,010 -Plan? -Not plan. 74 00:03:59,090 --> 00:03:59,970 -Plan. -Plan. 75 00:04:00,050 --> 00:04:02,050 -Plan. -Like "flan." Plan. 76 00:04:02,130 --> 00:04:03,720 Flan? That dessert? 77 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:05,010 Yes, like "flan." 78 00:04:05,090 --> 00:04:07,050 No, I don't dig on flan. 79 00:04:07,140 --> 00:04:09,810 Plan. Plan. 80 00:04:10,220 --> 00:04:12,140 Plan. Plan? 81 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,480 -Word become a sound? -What's that called again? 82 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,140 -Semantic satiation. -Yeah. 83 00:04:16,230 --> 00:04:18,230 Okay. All right. 84 00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:20,740 Is that new kid from Mexico here yet? 85 00:04:20,820 --> 00:04:22,860 -He's getting treatment on his knee. -Okay, good. 86 00:04:23,190 --> 00:04:25,150 -What's his name again? -Dani Rojas. 87 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:27,450 Yeah. It's a great name. Okay. 88 00:04:27,530 --> 00:04:28,660 How's Jamie doing? 89 00:04:30,410 --> 00:04:31,410 What? 90 00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:34,790 Says he can't practice today. Says he's hurt. 91 00:04:38,460 --> 00:04:39,460 Oh, boy. 92 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,210 Hey, Jamie. 93 00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:46,090 I heard you're not gonna be able to run with us today. That true? 94 00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:47,560 Yep. 95 00:04:47,640 --> 00:04:48,640 Why's that? 96 00:04:49,180 --> 00:04:50,470 'Cause I'm hurt. 97 00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:53,680 Really sorry to hear that. 98 00:04:55,180 --> 00:04:57,770 Relax, Ted. It's just practice. 99 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:08,570 Hey. 100 00:05:08,660 --> 00:05:10,330 If you can't practice, you can't practice. 101 00:05:10,410 --> 00:05:13,200 If you're hurt, you're hurt. It's as simple as that. 102 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:17,790 But it ain't about that... at all. 103 00:05:20,750 --> 00:05:23,590 You're sitting in here. You're supposed to be the franchise player. 104 00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:26,550 And yet here we are, talking about you missing practice. 105 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,720 We're talking about practice. 106 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:32,840 You understand me? Practice. 107 00:05:33,510 --> 00:05:35,390 Not a game. 108 00:05:35,470 --> 00:05:39,060 Not a game. Not the game you go out there and die for. Right? 109 00:05:39,150 --> 00:05:40,690 Play every weekend like it's your last, right? 110 00:05:40,770 --> 00:05:43,060 No, we're talking about practice, man. 111 00:05:43,150 --> 00:05:45,820 Practice! You know you're supposed to be out there. 112 00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,360 You know you're supposed to lead by example. 113 00:05:47,450 --> 00:05:49,410 You're just shoving that all aside. 114 00:05:49,490 --> 00:05:52,910 And so here we are, Jamie. We're talking about practice. 115 00:05:52,990 --> 00:05:54,580 Not a game. 116 00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:55,620 Not the game. 117 00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:58,910 We're talking about practice, with your team. With your teammates. 118 00:06:00,170 --> 00:06:02,630 The only place we get to play together, we got control over. 119 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:04,920 Rest of the time it's us 11 against those 11. 120 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,630 We're talking about practice, man! 121 00:06:08,010 --> 00:06:12,260 I'm talking about practice! And you can't do it 'cause you're hurt. 122 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:14,730 Right? 123 00:06:15,930 --> 00:06:17,180 It's fine by me. 124 00:06:18,390 --> 00:06:19,850 Tell you what. Do me a favor. 125 00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,230 When you get out there, 126 00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:24,770 set up the cones so the other reserves can do a little passing drill. 127 00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:28,190 -You want me to set up cones? -I really appreciate it. 128 00:06:30,030 --> 00:06:32,410 -Colin, go set the cones up. -I think he asked you, mate. 129 00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:33,870 Was I talking to you, big man? 130 00:06:33,950 --> 00:06:35,910 Colin, set up the cones. 131 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:38,740 Isaac's right. He asked you. You are a second-teamer. 132 00:06:46,460 --> 00:06:48,000 That's gotta sting. 133 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,130 Cheers. 134 00:06:56,390 --> 00:06:59,350 I must say, it's quite nice seeing Jamie put in his place for once. 135 00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:01,270 -Thrilling even, innit? -No, no, no. 136 00:07:01,350 --> 00:07:02,850 This is a no schadenfreude zone, all right? 137 00:07:02,940 --> 00:07:04,980 -Nein schadenfreude. -All right. 138 00:07:05,060 --> 00:07:07,100 The new kid, what's his-- Dani what? 139 00:07:07,190 --> 00:07:09,360 -Rojas. -Rojas, yeah. Is he any good? 140 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,860 Came here in the summer transfer window, was immediately injured, 141 00:07:11,950 --> 00:07:14,040 -so no one's really seen him play. -That's okay. 142 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,660 You know, 'cause once Jamie sees someone else playing his position, 143 00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,950 you know... I mean, it's gonna hurt his soul. 144 00:07:21,290 --> 00:07:23,710 I'm so sorry. I shouldn't be happy about that. 145 00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:27,170 Okay, let's be sure to help Dani get acclimated, all right? 146 00:07:27,250 --> 00:07:29,500 First time in this league can be very overwhelming. 147 00:07:31,630 --> 00:07:34,720 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 148 00:07:34,800 --> 00:07:40,100 Rojas, Dani Rojas! Rojas, Rojas, Rojas! 149 00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:42,520 Hey! Hello, coaches. 150 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,560 -Thank you for the opportunity. -Yeah. You are a spirited fella, Dani. 151 00:07:45,650 --> 00:07:47,820 Just go on out there, and get the striker spot for us, okay? 152 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:51,780 Yes! Just like back in Guadalajara, you say it, I do it, Coach. 153 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,580 Football is life! 154 00:07:57,740 --> 00:07:58,950 I like him. 155 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,250 Jamie doesn't. 156 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:06,170 Chipper dickheads like that can never back it up on the pitch. 157 00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,350 Beautiful cross, Sam! 158 00:08:28,230 --> 00:08:29,650 Football is life! 159 00:08:30,980 --> 00:08:31,980 Oh, boy. 160 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:39,030 Did you see that? 161 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:42,460 I can't really tell, but it seems like he's very good. 162 00:08:43,910 --> 00:08:45,160 Cheers, again. 163 00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:48,630 And some unemployed gaffers are asking if we'll have an opening soon. 164 00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:51,880 Tony Pulis. Alan Curbishley. Harry Redknapp called three times. 165 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,760 Hi. I've been up all night doing deep dives on all the players. 166 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:59,300 Did you know that Richard was raised on a goat farm? 167 00:08:59,390 --> 00:09:02,230 And that Isaac's mother has two left hands? 168 00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:05,560 And I called a couple of contacts about some sponsorship opportunities. 169 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,230 Even got myself a little work planner. 170 00:09:07,310 --> 00:09:10,230 You couldn't get one without the word "unicorn" written on it? 171 00:09:10,310 --> 00:09:12,480 Fuck off. It's adorable. 172 00:09:14,030 --> 00:09:17,490 Sorry, I couldn't help but think how you'd react if I told you to F off. 173 00:09:22,830 --> 00:09:24,830 -That'll be all, Higgins. -Of course. 174 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:27,290 I'm really glad to see that you're laughing. 175 00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:29,080 I just came by to see if you're okay, really. 176 00:09:29,170 --> 00:09:30,510 Why wouldn't I be? 177 00:09:30,590 --> 00:09:32,970 Oh, Christ. Have you not seen the news yet? 178 00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:37,720 I really wanted to be the one to comfort you, not to break it to you. 179 00:09:38,550 --> 00:09:40,390 So, you remember that stunning girl, Bex? 180 00:09:40,470 --> 00:09:42,760 The one that Rupert left with the night of the gala? 181 00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:47,350 Do you really want me to pretend that she wasn't mad fit? 182 00:09:47,440 --> 00:09:48,650 I'd appreciate it. 183 00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:52,070 Okay, well. That hideous cow, whose name's Bex, 184 00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:55,150 -which is actually short for... -Rebecca. 185 00:09:55,230 --> 00:09:57,820 Yep, which is also your name, as you know. 186 00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,240 So the press is calling her-- 187 00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:02,450 "New Rebecca." Shit. 188 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:04,120 Nope. 189 00:10:04,790 --> 00:10:09,210 The press is calling her "Rebecca," and you're... 190 00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:11,370 "Old Rebecca." 191 00:10:11,790 --> 00:10:14,000 -What? -Old Rebecca. 192 00:10:14,590 --> 00:10:16,010 Old Rebecca? 193 00:10:19,470 --> 00:10:22,140 Don't worry about it. You've got this. 194 00:10:22,220 --> 00:10:23,640 And if you ever have a moment, 195 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,140 or if you don't got this, then you just call me, right? 196 00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:47,330 Wow! That was on purpose, yes? 197 00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:49,040 Yeah. Look, mate. 198 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:50,790 You're good, yeah, but up here, 199 00:10:50,870 --> 00:10:53,290 there's a difference between good and great. 200 00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,930 1-1. Your turn, amigo. 201 00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:14,770 Fuck's sake. 202 00:11:14,860 --> 00:11:16,860 Right, watch this then. Left post. 203 00:11:19,820 --> 00:11:21,280 Wow. That was good. 204 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:23,320 I know. 205 00:11:25,830 --> 00:11:26,960 Yeah! 206 00:11:35,750 --> 00:11:36,750 I got lucky. 207 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,930 -Again tomorrow, Jamie Tartt? -We'll see. 208 00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:41,180 Football is life! 209 00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:47,020 Dani Rojas, Rojas! Dani Rojas! 210 00:11:47,100 --> 00:11:49,940 Oh, boy. I tell you, man. 211 00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:54,360 I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree, hit every branch on the way down, 212 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,650 ended up in a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids. 213 00:11:57,730 --> 00:12:00,360 I mean, Jamie is an ace, right? 214 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:03,320 You know, whose attitude turned him into a seven of clubs. 215 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:06,070 So then we bring in another fella to help turn him back into an ace 216 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,120 and then that fella ends up being an ace himself. 217 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,620 And so now we got two aces. 218 00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:13,620 Aces. Aces. Oh, heck. I did it again. I'm stuck. 219 00:12:13,710 --> 00:12:15,090 -Aces. -That's the word, yeah? 220 00:12:15,170 --> 00:12:16,710 -Aces. -Aces. 221 00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:18,170 -Ace. -Aces? Oh, now I'm in there. 222 00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:20,540 -See? Okay, good. -Aces? Aces. 223 00:12:20,630 --> 00:12:22,170 -I hope it's not contagious. -Aces. 224 00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:24,640 -Aces. Aces. -Aces? Aces. 225 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:25,550 -Aces. -Aces. 226 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,180 -Isis. -No, that sounds like "ISIS." 227 00:12:27,260 --> 00:12:28,680 I did say "ISIS." I didn't mean to. 228 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:31,600 Okay, what if we cloned the lead guitarist from Kiss? 229 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,220 -You'd have two-- -Frehleys. 230 00:12:44,320 --> 00:12:46,700 It's lovely weather we've been having, don't you think? 231 00:12:46,780 --> 00:12:48,320 I love this time of year. 232 00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:51,120 -All the smells of fresh leaves. -What's happening? 233 00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:53,790 I was just pretending that the two of us were on a walk. 234 00:12:53,870 --> 00:12:54,870 I'm trying to read. 235 00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,800 I've been doing a lot of reading myself, actually, recently. 236 00:13:00,090 --> 00:13:01,880 I read this mad story 237 00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,800 about a kid who grew up in a shit part of South London. 238 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:09,090 And who got sent off to play as a child in Sunderland, of all places. 239 00:13:09,550 --> 00:13:12,850 And who later was forced to rap his own verse in a charity single 240 00:13:12,930 --> 00:13:15,390 which was called "Winner, Winner, Football Dinner." 241 00:13:15,480 --> 00:13:16,940 That was for world hunger. 242 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:19,650 And I believe it was the cure. 243 00:13:21,650 --> 00:13:24,110 How do you know all this anyway? What are you doing now? Stalking me? 244 00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:27,150 No. I'm reading all the players' bios. 245 00:13:27,740 --> 00:13:29,870 Rebecca's got me in to help with the team's PR. 246 00:13:29,950 --> 00:13:33,000 Well, you leave me out of it. I'm not one of your show ponies. 247 00:13:33,790 --> 00:13:36,420 You wear a number, trot around while people clap, 248 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,540 so I wouldn't be too high and mighty about it. 249 00:13:41,090 --> 00:13:42,130 Later, Roy. 250 00:13:45,510 --> 00:13:48,220 Dani Rojas! Dani, Dani! 251 00:13:55,770 --> 00:13:56,770 Okay. 252 00:13:56,850 --> 00:13:59,600 Okay, okay, I don't understand. What the heck happened, all right? 253 00:13:59,690 --> 00:14:02,400 -Did you trip over something? -That's the thing, Coach. 254 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,820 I did not trip over something. Something tripped me. 255 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,940 Something not there. 256 00:14:12,780 --> 00:14:15,490 Yeah. Okay, Doc. Let's go get him looked at. 257 00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,370 Okay. You're okay. 258 00:14:19,670 --> 00:14:21,630 God, this is all my fault. 259 00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:23,550 I saw Dani go into the treatment room before training, 260 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:24,880 and I didn't say anything. 261 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:27,300 That was a mistake. 262 00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:29,050 How could you not say anything? 263 00:14:29,130 --> 00:14:30,630 Well, I hope you've all said your goodbyes, 264 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,720 -'cause we're never gonna see him again. -Hey, that's enough! 265 00:14:32,800 --> 00:14:35,470 One more person says something that me and Beard don't understand, 266 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:37,690 I'm gonna have one of my son's classic temper tantrums. 267 00:14:37,770 --> 00:14:39,980 It's basically just him calling me a bunch of silly names, 268 00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:43,650 you know, like, I don't know, "dummy head" or "poo-poo face" 269 00:14:43,730 --> 00:14:46,150 or "poo-poo dummy" or-- I don't know. What am I missing? 270 00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,940 -"Pee-pee fingers." -"Pee-pee fingers." 271 00:14:48,030 --> 00:14:49,700 Come on, now. Spill. 272 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:55,040 The treatment room is cursed. 273 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,870 -What? -It's true. 274 00:14:56,950 --> 00:14:59,120 Why is this the first time I'm hearing about this? 275 00:14:59,210 --> 00:15:02,130 Well, I think it has a lot to do with grown men being embarrassed 276 00:15:02,210 --> 00:15:05,300 to admit that they believe in all this hoodoo, voodoo, juju business. 277 00:15:05,380 --> 00:15:07,050 -Hey, I don't believe it. -Okay, good. 278 00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:08,800 Then me and you, we're gonna go look in that room. 279 00:15:08,880 --> 00:15:10,420 -No. -Why not? 280 00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,180 Because... No. 281 00:15:13,050 --> 00:15:15,300 Heck! Oh, man. 282 00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:18,180 I mean, Dani was out there, what, an hour ago? 283 00:15:18,270 --> 00:15:19,810 Running circles on that pitch 284 00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:23,310 like a joyous raven-haired golden retriever. 285 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,490 Coach, is it true in America you guys have so many beautiful dogs in pounds 286 00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:28,240 that some get put down for no reason? 287 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:29,860 That is true, Sam. 288 00:15:29,940 --> 00:15:32,780 But it's also something a lot of female singer-songwriters are trying to change. 289 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,950 Look, we're not gonna put Dani Rojas down. I'll tell you that right now. 290 00:15:37,030 --> 00:15:40,080 Gentlemen, I need you to gather up the rest of the fellas. 291 00:15:40,710 --> 00:15:43,880 'Cause we got ourselves a curse to reverse. 292 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,140 What the fuck's wrong with you two? 293 00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:55,060 The whole Richmond team's here. 294 00:15:56,470 --> 00:15:58,060 Holy shit. 295 00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:07,820 Hey, Coach. Jamie? 296 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:11,280 Okay. That's okay. 297 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:12,780 Hey, guys. 298 00:16:12,860 --> 00:16:14,530 Hey, fellas. Fellas, listen up. 299 00:16:15,450 --> 00:16:16,660 Thank you, guys, for coming out. 300 00:16:16,740 --> 00:16:19,160 Look, I don't know a lot about this stuff, you know. 301 00:16:19,240 --> 00:16:20,740 I don't know about curses. 302 00:16:20,830 --> 00:16:22,870 But I do know this, they don't last forever. 303 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:25,250 Okay, look at the Boston Red Sox curse. That's over. 304 00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:27,500 Chicago Cubs, over. 305 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,260 Heck, even Mr. Martin Scorsese finally won his Oscar. 306 00:16:31,340 --> 00:16:33,550 But I think we can all agree that The Departed 307 00:16:33,630 --> 00:16:35,010 is not necessarily his best work. 308 00:16:35,090 --> 00:16:36,090 -No. -Yeah. 309 00:16:36,180 --> 00:16:39,310 -That belongs to The Color of Money. -No, it's Goodfellas. 310 00:16:39,390 --> 00:16:43,020 -Agree to disagree. -Nah, nah. It's Age of Innocence, bruv. 311 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,650 -Cape Fear. -Silence! 312 00:16:46,480 --> 00:16:49,020 Oi, once the word gets out you lot are in here, 313 00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:51,400 this place will turn into a fucking zoo. 314 00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:53,650 And the answer's Mean Streets. 315 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:55,660 -Yeah. That's a good one. -Yeah. 316 00:16:55,740 --> 00:16:58,330 You're all here because of this poster behind me. 317 00:16:58,410 --> 00:16:59,450 Mr. Higgins. 318 00:16:59,530 --> 00:17:02,870 "Are you a fast, fit, fan of football?" 319 00:17:02,950 --> 00:17:04,740 That's solid alliteration right there. 320 00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:06,250 Hundreds of those posters 321 00:17:06,330 --> 00:17:11,460 were put up around Richmond on the 18th of November, 1914. 322 00:17:11,550 --> 00:17:13,930 It was an invitation for young men 323 00:17:14,010 --> 00:17:16,680 to try out to be a professional footballer. 324 00:17:16,760 --> 00:17:19,470 It said to come to our stadium that day. 325 00:17:20,300 --> 00:17:21,390 And it was a lie. 326 00:17:21,470 --> 00:17:26,810 In 1914, the war was raging. There was no tryout. 327 00:17:26,890 --> 00:17:32,480 Just recruiters, waiting to encourage those boys to fight the fight. 328 00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:35,780 They enlisted 400 lads that day. 329 00:17:37,110 --> 00:17:38,490 Very few of them came home. 330 00:17:39,700 --> 00:17:41,080 And after they enlisted... 331 00:17:41,870 --> 00:17:43,790 do you know where they went for their physical? 332 00:17:43,870 --> 00:17:46,210 Oh, Christ, it's our treatment room, isn't it? 333 00:17:46,290 --> 00:17:47,620 What are you talking about? 334 00:17:47,710 --> 00:17:52,010 Hey, no, no, no. Hey, no, fellas. No, it was not, okay? 335 00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:56,720 It was. I'm sorry, I'm lying to ya. I don't even know why I'm lying. 336 00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:58,930 I'm sorry. I just wanted y'all to take a breath for a second. 337 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:01,720 Wait, wait, wait. What you're telling me is that we've got 400 ghosts? 338 00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,050 That's too many ghosts. 339 00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,220 We cannot fight them all. 340 00:18:04,310 --> 00:18:06,060 We're not going to have to fight them, Richard. 341 00:18:06,140 --> 00:18:08,230 Wait, so, Coach, how do we fix this? 342 00:18:08,310 --> 00:18:11,060 -We can't change the past. -No, Sam. No, we cannot. 343 00:18:11,810 --> 00:18:13,190 But we can choose to honor it. 344 00:18:13,860 --> 00:18:16,360 Now, those young men, they made the ultimate sacrifice. 345 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:19,530 So I think it's only fair that we sacrifice something of our own. 346 00:18:19,610 --> 00:18:22,360 I'm gonna ask each and every one of you to go home tonight, 347 00:18:22,450 --> 00:18:24,620 find something, an item. 348 00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,870 Something personal. Something that you truly value. 349 00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,130 And I want you to bring it tonight to the clubhouse, at midnight. 350 00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,750 No. That is bullshit. 351 00:18:33,750 --> 00:18:35,630 We're all going to fucking do it! 352 00:18:36,170 --> 00:18:37,090 All right. 353 00:18:38,630 --> 00:18:40,130 That's your captain talking right there. 354 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:45,180 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 355 00:18:45,720 --> 00:18:46,720 Told you. 356 00:18:46,810 --> 00:18:51,320 Richmond! Richmond! Richmond! 357 00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:54,280 Hi, Jamie. What do you need? 358 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,570 Babe, I said it was important. We can't go inside your house? 359 00:18:58,650 --> 00:19:00,440 No way! We can't. 360 00:19:00,530 --> 00:19:02,660 Sex was, like, the only thing that you and I was good at. 361 00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:05,200 I've had three glasses of wine. It's Pavlovian. 362 00:19:05,910 --> 00:19:08,290 Pavlovian? What is that? Is that the wine? 363 00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:12,040 Babe, can we not at least just get inside my car? It's cold. 364 00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:14,870 No. You don't remember how many times we shagged in this thing? 365 00:19:14,960 --> 00:19:17,050 So the car's also Pavlovian? 366 00:19:17,130 --> 00:19:18,130 Think I'm getting it now. 367 00:19:20,050 --> 00:19:21,470 So, what's up, Jamie? 368 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,180 Fucking Ted Lasso. 369 00:19:24,260 --> 00:19:26,220 He's really gotten up your bum, hasn't he? 370 00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:28,190 Babe, he's not even a real coach. 371 00:19:28,270 --> 00:19:29,940 Do you know what we're supposed to do tonight? 372 00:19:30,020 --> 00:19:33,820 Apparently, some bullshit sacrifice, show-and-tell bullshit. 373 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:37,070 -Okay. You gonna go? -No, 'course I'm not. 374 00:19:38,780 --> 00:19:41,870 -Is everyone else doing it? -Yeah, but I'm Jamie Tartt. 375 00:19:41,950 --> 00:19:43,450 I'm not like everyone else. 376 00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:48,160 Do you think that I could've got from a council estate in North Manchester 377 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:49,910 to the Premier League, 378 00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:52,120 if I did what everyone else did? 379 00:19:52,210 --> 00:19:54,210 No. I don't. 380 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,210 You're a battler, Jamie. 381 00:19:58,090 --> 00:19:59,470 It's really hot. 382 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:03,300 But maybe someday you should stop battling the people 383 00:20:03,380 --> 00:20:04,840 that just wanna help you. 384 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:10,810 I feel like you want me to come in. 385 00:20:10,890 --> 00:20:12,270 It's Pavlovian. 386 00:20:12,350 --> 00:20:14,440 Have a good night, Jamie Tartt. 387 00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:22,780 Come in. 388 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:27,790 Excuse me, Ms. Welton. Hi, I'm Sam. Sam Obisanya. I play for the team. 389 00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:30,370 Yes, Sam. I know who you are. 390 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,540 Is there something I can help you with? 391 00:20:33,620 --> 00:20:36,920 This is really awkward, but are you free tonight? 392 00:20:38,040 --> 00:20:40,500 Sam, I am very flattered, but-- 393 00:20:40,590 --> 00:20:43,340 No, no, no. It's not for romance. 394 00:20:43,420 --> 00:20:47,220 It's just to get rid of this curse. I can understand why you misinterpreted. 395 00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:48,510 I mean, you're so lovely 396 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:50,850 you must get romantic invitations all the time. 397 00:20:50,930 --> 00:20:51,930 That's nice. 398 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:56,440 Gosh, I'm dealing with my own sort of curse. Anyway, thank you. 399 00:20:57,270 --> 00:21:00,770 I'm from Nigeria, and so I feel like whenever the subject of curses comes up, 400 00:21:00,860 --> 00:21:04,360 people are like, "I bet the African guy is really into this." 401 00:21:04,450 --> 00:21:06,700 -You're obviously not? -No, no, no. I really am. 402 00:21:06,780 --> 00:21:09,030 But that's mainly from loving Harry Potter. 403 00:21:09,580 --> 00:21:11,750 Do you know J.K. Rowling has more money than the Queen? 404 00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:13,000 I did. 405 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:16,250 I like the idea of someone becoming rich, because of what they gave to the world. 406 00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:17,920 Not just because of who their family is. 407 00:21:19,170 --> 00:21:22,010 Well, Ms. Welton, I really hope you can participate in this ceremony 408 00:21:22,090 --> 00:21:23,510 that we're having later tonight. 409 00:21:23,590 --> 00:21:24,880 I don't think so. 410 00:21:24,970 --> 00:21:27,430 I apologize, but I can't take no for an answer. 411 00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:30,640 Coach thinks it will only work if the whole team is there, 412 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:33,720 and Ms. Welton, it's your team. 413 00:21:35,430 --> 00:21:38,180 So you have to be there. Please. 414 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,480 At least think about it. 415 00:21:42,820 --> 00:21:43,990 For you, Sam, I will. 416 00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:45,610 Thank you. 417 00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:50,830 See you tonight. 418 00:21:50,910 --> 00:21:51,910 See ya. 419 00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:58,750 Gentlemen, I am, by nature, a believer. 420 00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:01,330 Ghosts, spirit guides, aliens. 421 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,800 Still, I can't actually tell you 422 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,300 what lives beyond our physical world and what doesn't. 423 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,100 What I can tell you, 424 00:22:08,180 --> 00:22:09,930 is that with the exception 425 00:22:10,010 --> 00:22:12,100 of the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes, 426 00:22:13,350 --> 00:22:14,770 not much lasts forever. 427 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,900 -Hey, boss. Glad you could join us. -Hello. Yeah. 428 00:22:27,110 --> 00:22:28,950 Roy, why don't you get things started for us? 429 00:22:35,080 --> 00:22:38,040 I was nine when I got scouted by Sunderland, 430 00:22:38,750 --> 00:22:41,380 and I'd never left London before. 431 00:22:42,170 --> 00:22:47,970 My granddad drove me all the way there, and it was freezing, and I was terrified. 432 00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,720 I was fucking nine. Say something. 433 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:57,060 When I got there, he gave me this old blanket. 434 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:01,640 He said it was to keep me warm and to remind me of home. 435 00:23:02,100 --> 00:23:03,730 And that was the last time I saw him. 436 00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:07,810 'Cause he'd passed away by the time I got back for Christmas, so... 437 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:13,320 That is why blankie means so much to me. 438 00:23:13,410 --> 00:23:14,700 Did you just say "blankie"? 439 00:23:14,780 --> 00:23:17,530 No, I said "blanket." Conversation over. Sam, go. 440 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,120 This is a picture of the 1994 Nigerian World Cup team. 441 00:23:23,250 --> 00:23:26,250 I pledged I wouldn't take this down until I made the team myself... 442 00:23:27,300 --> 00:23:28,720 and I still intend to do that. 443 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:35,010 This sand is from a beach in St. Barts. 444 00:23:37,310 --> 00:23:39,730 This is the first beach where I ever... 445 00:23:41,270 --> 00:23:43,940 It's the first beach where I ever slept with a supermodel. 446 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:51,650 -Smile because it happened. -Thanks. 447 00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:54,330 Sam and Richard coming at ya from both ends of the spectrum there. 448 00:23:54,410 --> 00:23:55,410 Appreciate that. 449 00:23:55,780 --> 00:24:00,950 A girl once said I look like Clive Owen in these sunglasses. 450 00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,260 I don't think I can do it. 451 00:24:04,330 --> 00:24:06,710 -Come on, Nate. Throw 'em in. -You got it, Nate. Give it a toss. 452 00:24:06,790 --> 00:24:08,290 -Nice. -Good boy, Nate. 453 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,000 Thank you. Thank you. 454 00:24:15,050 --> 00:24:16,930 Is that today's paper? 455 00:24:17,010 --> 00:24:20,680 There's something in there about me, as usual, and I'm trying not to care. 456 00:24:22,690 --> 00:24:23,900 Fuck the haters. 457 00:24:26,480 --> 00:24:27,480 Word. 458 00:24:27,570 --> 00:24:31,990 This is my cat's collar. She was a faithful companion for 20 years. 459 00:24:33,950 --> 00:24:35,790 Gonna miss you, Cindy Clawford. 460 00:24:37,330 --> 00:24:39,250 It's the only pen I can write my name with. 461 00:24:59,470 --> 00:25:01,060 The keys to my Lamborghini. 462 00:25:03,060 --> 00:25:04,140 How you getting home? 463 00:25:05,350 --> 00:25:07,600 -All right. Everybody go? -Yeah. 464 00:25:07,690 --> 00:25:10,360 -Yeah. -No. I wanna go. 465 00:25:19,910 --> 00:25:23,160 These aren't my first boots or anything. My mum gave 'em me. 466 00:25:24,910 --> 00:25:27,410 She was the one who got me into football in the first place. 467 00:25:28,540 --> 00:25:32,340 Her and me dad split up when I was just a sexy little baby. 468 00:25:33,050 --> 00:25:36,350 She's the reason I work so hard. Just wanted to make her proud. 469 00:25:37,510 --> 00:25:39,430 She doesn't even care if I'm any good. 470 00:25:39,510 --> 00:25:42,100 Just wants me to be happy. Be a good lad. 471 00:25:43,560 --> 00:25:47,520 Once I got good though, me old man started showing up, didn't he? 472 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,270 You know, bragging to all his mates every time I scored a goal. 473 00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:56,160 Calling me "soft" if I didn't... dominate, you know. 474 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:57,780 And I hated that. 475 00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:01,280 I actually fucking hated that. 476 00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:09,380 So, I made a vow to be so tough that he could never call me "soft" again. 477 00:26:12,550 --> 00:26:14,590 I wonder if sometimes... 478 00:26:15,460 --> 00:26:17,210 I forget about making her proud. 479 00:26:20,180 --> 00:26:21,970 I don't think that she would be lately. 480 00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:36,190 Well, gentlemen... 481 00:26:39,110 --> 00:26:40,950 What do you say we burn this crap? 482 00:26:41,030 --> 00:26:42,950 Maybe we should do this part outside. 483 00:26:43,030 --> 00:26:44,200 -Yeah. -That's a good call. 484 00:26:44,290 --> 00:26:45,290 Yeah. That's smart. Okay. 485 00:26:45,370 --> 00:26:47,250 Hey, would you guys mind grabbing this for me? 486 00:26:54,710 --> 00:26:57,340 Excuse me, Ted. The eagle has landed. 487 00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:00,550 Hey, fellas. 488 00:27:00,640 --> 00:27:04,100 I think the only way to know if the curse has been lifted or not, 489 00:27:04,180 --> 00:27:06,720 we need to ask the spirits for a sign. 490 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:09,730 Spirits... 491 00:27:11,270 --> 00:27:12,940 speak to us. 492 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:20,200 Dani Rojas! Rojas! Dani Rojas. 493 00:27:23,910 --> 00:27:26,580 I brought a bottle of mezcal to throw into the curse fire. 494 00:27:26,660 --> 00:27:28,580 Hey, hey, hey. Rojas, look. 495 00:27:28,660 --> 00:27:31,000 Whatever ghosts it were that made you trip over, 496 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:32,920 they're gone now, I promise, yeah. 497 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,340 Crack that bastard open. 498 00:27:34,420 --> 00:27:36,460 -Yeah, boy! -Yeah. 499 00:27:36,550 --> 00:27:40,390 Jamie's not wrong. Ghosts prefer empty bottles that we've all drunk. 500 00:27:40,470 --> 00:27:41,810 Fact. 501 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,050 Let us celebrate, amigos. 502 00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:48,520 That is a team united. 503 00:27:49,890 --> 00:27:52,520 You're very lucky that everything's fine with Dani's injury. 504 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:55,060 I just never had you pegged as a gambler, Ted. 505 00:27:55,150 --> 00:27:58,700 I'm not. We knew Dani's okay hours ago. 506 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:01,320 In fact, it was my man Higgins' idea 507 00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:04,440 not to share that info with the boys until after the ceremony. 508 00:28:05,700 --> 00:28:07,580 -You don't say. -Yeah. 509 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:09,670 Putting the team first, eh, Higgins? 510 00:28:10,540 --> 00:28:11,580 Yeah, I suppose I am. 511 00:28:11,660 --> 00:28:13,700 Hey, Coach, you joining the party or what? 512 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,710 What do you say, boss? A lot warmer over there by the fire. 513 00:28:19,550 --> 00:28:20,890 I'll respectfully pass. 514 00:28:22,470 --> 00:28:24,470 Higgins, coming with me? 515 00:28:26,430 --> 00:28:27,680 Off you go. 516 00:28:31,140 --> 00:28:33,060 All right now, what's this going on? 517 00:28:33,140 --> 00:28:35,020 What's going on here? What's going on? 518 00:28:35,100 --> 00:28:36,890 Richmond till we die. 519 00:28:36,980 --> 00:28:38,770 We're Richmond till we die. 520 00:28:38,860 --> 00:28:42,320 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 521 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:45,570 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 522 00:28:45,660 --> 00:28:48,830 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 523 00:28:48,910 --> 00:28:52,080 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 524 00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:55,540 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 525 00:28:55,630 --> 00:28:58,670 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 526 00:28:58,750 --> 00:29:02,000 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 527 00:29:02,090 --> 00:29:05,680 We're Richmond till we die. We're Richmond till we die. 528 00:29:05,760 --> 00:29:08,680 We know we are, we're sure we are. We're Richmond till we die. 529 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:10,850 Morning. How y'all doin'? 530 00:29:16,100 --> 00:29:17,350 Hey. That's cool. 531 00:29:19,940 --> 00:29:21,270 Oh, boy. Here we go. 532 00:29:24,150 --> 00:29:25,610 I got it. 533 00:29:26,780 --> 00:29:29,280 Interception. Easy, gentlemen, easy. 534 00:29:30,700 --> 00:29:32,290 Good morning, honey bunch. 535 00:29:32,370 --> 00:29:34,960 You hear that buzz out there? I love it. 536 00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:36,120 How you doing? 537 00:29:38,670 --> 00:29:40,000 You got rid of Jamie? 538 00:29:40,630 --> 00:29:42,470 Man City recalled him. 539 00:29:42,550 --> 00:29:44,510 I told you, Ted. They were concerned he wasn't playing. 540 00:29:44,590 --> 00:29:46,180 I finally got through to him! 541 00:29:46,260 --> 00:29:48,260 I mean, you saw it. 542 00:29:48,340 --> 00:29:51,890 With him and Dani, we had two aces, Rebecca. 543 00:29:51,970 --> 00:29:54,810 -I thought that was what you wanted. -Yeah, well, you thought wrong! 544 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:57,890 I'm sorry. I'm sorry for my tone there, okay. That was rude. 545 00:29:57,980 --> 00:30:02,650 Look, I'm trying to be cool about this, but I am just seeing red everywhere. 546 00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:05,610 Well, perhaps you should leave before you say something you'll regret. 547 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,610 No, actually, you know what? Here you go. 548 00:30:10,200 --> 00:30:11,200 Your biscuits. 549 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,160 I hope they're not as good as they usually are. 550 00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,910 But dang it, they're the best batch yet. I finally cracked the recipe! 551 00:30:24,960 --> 00:30:26,040 Coach? 552 00:30:30,300 --> 00:30:31,800 Football is life.