1 00:00:01,041 --> 00:00:04,625 ♪♪ 2 00:00:04,708 --> 00:00:06,750 Girl: [ Crying and gasping ] 3 00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:09,666 ♪ Joy to the world ♪ 4 00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:13,041 ♪ The Lord is come ♪ 5 00:00:13,125 --> 00:00:15,916 ♪ Let Earth receive her king ♪ Are you okay? 6 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,541 Oh, I'm in so much fucking pain! 7 00:00:19,625 --> 00:00:22,083 Sephora's closing. 8 00:00:22,166 --> 00:00:24,791 I'm not gonna let you buy that lip kit full price, by the way. 9 00:00:24,875 --> 00:00:26,750 That'd be, like... [ Moans ] 10 00:00:26,833 --> 00:00:28,000 ...against civil rights. 11 00:00:28,083 --> 00:00:30,125 Aaaaah! Are you sure it's just cramps? 12 00:00:30,208 --> 00:00:31,916 'Cause my mom knows someone who got an amoeba 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:33,333 from Panda Express. 14 00:00:33,416 --> 00:00:34,791 It's like someone is sticking one of those 15 00:00:34,875 --> 00:00:37,791 curved Japanese swords up my vagina. 16 00:00:37,875 --> 00:00:39,083 Fuck! 17 00:00:39,166 --> 00:00:40,541 Do you want the rest of the Oxy? 18 00:00:40,625 --> 00:00:42,208 [ Whimpers ] 19 00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:44,541 Here, open the door. 20 00:00:44,625 --> 00:00:46,125 I-I-I can't. I can't move. 21 00:00:46,208 --> 00:00:47,375 I can't -- I can't unlock the door. 22 00:00:47,458 --> 00:00:49,416 Okay, I'll just slide it under. 23 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:52,041 Think if you snort it it works super fast. 24 00:00:52,125 --> 00:00:54,833 Oh. Ugh. Fuck! 25 00:00:54,916 --> 00:00:58,416 This is fucking true love 'cause this floor's nasty. 26 00:00:58,500 --> 00:01:00,583 Got it? [ Whimpers ] 27 00:01:00,666 --> 00:01:02,250 Oh, God, gross! 28 00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,625 Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up. 29 00:01:04,708 --> 00:01:07,458 Are you okay? Aaaah! 30 00:01:07,541 --> 00:01:09,583 Seriously, what is happening? 31 00:01:09,666 --> 00:01:10,708 Aaaaah! 32 00:01:10,791 --> 00:01:12,500 Shut up! The Chipotle woman is looking! 33 00:01:12,583 --> 00:01:15,750 Can you Google "how to give birth"? 34 00:01:15,833 --> 00:01:16,791 What?! 35 00:01:16,875 --> 00:01:17,916 Just do it. 36 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,541 You're having a fucking baby?! 37 00:01:19,625 --> 00:01:20,916 Shut up! You're not pregnant! 38 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,458 You don't even look that fat. 39 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,666 [ Wails ] 40 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:26,000 Oh, God, no! We have to call 911. 41 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:27,916 No! We have to call 911. 42 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,833 My parents will fucking kill me! 43 00:01:29,916 --> 00:01:32,750 Fuck. People give birth in cars. 44 00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:34,458 No, you can't give birth in a bathroom. 45 00:01:34,541 --> 00:01:36,000 It fucking happens. It's not a big fucking deal. 46 00:01:36,083 --> 00:01:38,250 How could you not know? What about your period? 47 00:01:38,333 --> 00:01:41,583 I thought I was bleeding. Oh, God, Naomi! 48 00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,166 Shut up! Someone is coming. 49 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:46,625 Uh, no, someone threw up all over the floor in there. 50 00:01:46,708 --> 00:01:48,333 And diarrhea, too. 51 00:01:48,416 --> 00:01:49,583 Oh. [ Moans ] 52 00:01:49,666 --> 00:01:51,125 Tittyfuck cunt nugget. It's not loading. 53 00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:52,583 It's not loading! Welcome to wellness 5G... 54 00:01:52,666 --> 00:01:54,291 Oh, God, it's one of those YouTube videos 55 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,208 where you have to watch the whole fucking ad first. 56 00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:57,541 You can't just skip. Aaah! 57 00:01:57,625 --> 00:01:59,958 Why can you skip some and not others?! 58 00:02:00,041 --> 00:02:02,000 What the fucking fuck! 59 00:02:02,083 --> 00:02:05,041 Fuck! Try WikiHow! 60 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:10,208 ♪♪ 61 00:02:10,291 --> 00:02:12,750 ♪ I like boys I like pecs ♪ 62 00:02:12,833 --> 00:02:14,541 ♪ Like them arms when they flex ♪ 63 00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:16,500 ♪ Like that print in them sweats ♪ 64 00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:18,208 ♪ Tell them girls, "Thank you, next" ♪ 65 00:02:18,291 --> 00:02:20,375 ♪ I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em ♪ 66 00:02:20,458 --> 00:02:22,333 ♪ Like them abs when there's six of 'em ♪ 67 00:02:22,416 --> 00:02:24,291 ♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪ 68 00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:26,875 ♪ I like boys Mama, boys like me ♪ 69 00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:28,375 ♪ I like boys who like boys Mama ♪ 70 00:02:28,458 --> 00:02:31,166 ♪ Yeah, I like boys who like boys like me ♪ 71 00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:32,500 ♪ Boys like me ♪ 72 00:02:32,583 --> 00:02:35,083 ♪ Motherfuckin' boys like me, bitch ♪ 73 00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:37,875 This being your third dress-coding offense 74 00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,416 in the first month of school, 75 00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,041 you need a guidance counselor to sign off on this. 76 00:02:41,125 --> 00:02:42,958 No, please don't make me see Mr. Saltarelli. 77 00:02:43,041 --> 00:02:44,541 That man crushes dreams. 78 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:47,583 He collects antique dental equipment. 79 00:02:47,666 --> 00:02:50,708 Mr. Saltarelli is dead. 80 00:02:50,791 --> 00:02:53,250 Oh, shit. I'm sorry. 81 00:02:53,333 --> 00:02:54,875 How? 82 00:02:54,958 --> 00:02:56,958 [ Faint pounding ] 83 00:03:00,875 --> 00:03:03,416 Hi. 84 00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:05,250 Hi. 85 00:03:05,333 --> 00:03:07,750 How did Mr. Saltarelli die? 86 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:10,750 He lost sight of a drone he was flying 87 00:03:10,833 --> 00:03:14,375 and accidentally flew it into his head. 88 00:03:14,458 --> 00:03:16,916 He fell unconscious in his pool and drowned. 89 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,750 Oh, shit. 90 00:03:18,833 --> 00:03:19,916 Yeah. 91 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,666 There was a guy judging the U.S. Open 92 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:25,333 who died when a player served the tennis ball into his groin. 93 00:03:25,416 --> 00:03:28,291 It's true. His name was Dick. 94 00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,041 That's also true. 95 00:03:30,125 --> 00:03:31,333 I'm sorry. 96 00:03:31,416 --> 00:03:34,333 You're the new guidance counselor? 97 00:03:34,416 --> 00:03:35,583 Sam. 98 00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:37,125 Chester. 99 00:03:37,208 --> 00:03:40,083 You know, we're supposed to call teachers by their last names. 100 00:03:40,166 --> 00:03:42,291 Call me Mr. Fanger if it feels more comfortable. 101 00:03:42,375 --> 00:03:44,500 I've always been a bit on the fence about it. 102 00:03:44,583 --> 00:03:46,416 What can I do for you? 103 00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:48,791 You have to sign my slip, 104 00:03:48,875 --> 00:03:51,958 after you make sure that I understand the consequences 105 00:03:52,041 --> 00:03:55,125 of having things like multiple dress-code violations 106 00:03:55,208 --> 00:03:57,083 on my high school record. 107 00:03:57,166 --> 00:04:00,041 Okay, Chester, do you understand the consequences? 108 00:04:00,125 --> 00:04:03,250 Three more, and I am suspended 109 00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:06,958 and waterboarded and put to death or something. 110 00:04:07,041 --> 00:04:10,291 Thing is I am a star water polo player 111 00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,833 with a 4.1 GPA, 112 00:04:12,916 --> 00:04:15,250 and my tolerance for giving a fuck is, 113 00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:17,750 like, minimal. 114 00:04:17,833 --> 00:04:19,625 Where do you come down on cursing? 115 00:04:19,708 --> 00:04:21,458 Safe space. 116 00:04:21,541 --> 00:04:24,791 Why do you keep getting dress-coded? 117 00:04:24,875 --> 00:04:27,208 Once for wearing a skirt. 118 00:04:27,291 --> 00:04:29,416 Once for ripped jeans, 119 00:04:29,500 --> 00:04:32,125 which the girls never get in trouble for, 120 00:04:32,208 --> 00:04:34,416 but they said the rips were too close to my ass. 121 00:04:34,500 --> 00:04:36,791 I mean, they didn't use the word "ass." 122 00:04:36,875 --> 00:04:39,166 I think Mr. Saltarelli said "derriere," 123 00:04:39,250 --> 00:04:41,000 which I had to Google just to make sure 124 00:04:41,083 --> 00:04:43,166 it was French for "ass." 125 00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:46,208 But anyway... 126 00:04:47,541 --> 00:04:50,041 What do you think? 127 00:04:50,125 --> 00:04:53,791 Is this too close to my ass? 128 00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:55,583 What is it about for you? 129 00:04:55,666 --> 00:04:58,708 Ooh. What is it about for me? 130 00:04:58,791 --> 00:05:02,208 I like how you said that all cute and guidance counselor-y. 131 00:05:02,291 --> 00:05:03,500 Is it a drag thing? 132 00:05:03,583 --> 00:05:06,625 Are you into drag? Give to get. 133 00:05:06,708 --> 00:05:08,833 Don't they teach you that in guidance counselor school? 134 00:05:08,916 --> 00:05:11,083 More like how to deal with kids who try to find things out 135 00:05:11,166 --> 00:05:13,541 about your personal life that are none of their business. 136 00:05:13,625 --> 00:05:15,875 Oh. Okay, okay. 137 00:05:15,958 --> 00:05:18,416 So, you know, you being a shady bitch 138 00:05:18,500 --> 00:05:20,833 is only gonna make me like you more. 139 00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:25,041 And if you want to therapize me, I am all over it. 140 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,333 Like, go. 141 00:05:26,416 --> 00:05:30,541 Like, let's get all up close and personal. 142 00:05:30,625 --> 00:05:33,791 You'll need to find someone to lend you something for today. 143 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,166 If I have to wear something from The Gap, 144 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:39,333 I am blowing my brains out. 145 00:05:39,416 --> 00:05:41,875 That's not a suicidal cry for help, 146 00:05:41,958 --> 00:05:43,625 just to be clear. 147 00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:46,750 But it could be if The Gap is involved. 148 00:05:46,833 --> 00:05:48,583 Where is that? 149 00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:50,333 Oh, Tokyo. 150 00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:54,875 I spent the loneliest year of my life there. 151 00:05:54,958 --> 00:06:00,291 I put it up to remind me that when I feel alone, 152 00:06:00,375 --> 00:06:03,666 I'm never feeling that alone. 153 00:06:05,625 --> 00:06:10,333 Is that, like, a prompt to connect to sad kids? 154 00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:14,500 Oh, boo, you was doin' so good. 155 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:17,833 My school e-mail address. 156 00:06:17,916 --> 00:06:19,708 If you need anything. 157 00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:24,166 I need a shit-ton of things. 158 00:06:26,333 --> 00:06:28,083 I'm, like, a lot. 159 00:06:30,041 --> 00:06:32,666 [ DUCKWRTH's " Crush" plays ] 160 00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:38,333 ♪♪ 161 00:06:38,416 --> 00:06:41,791 ♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪ 162 00:06:41,875 --> 00:06:44,291 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 163 00:06:44,375 --> 00:06:46,750 ♪ You could never let me down ♪ 164 00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:48,166 ♪ Crush ♪ 165 00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,833 ♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪ 166 00:06:50,916 --> 00:06:53,041 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 167 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,750 ♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪ 168 00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,125 ♪ Crush ♪ 169 00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:58,541 ♪ You just running through my brain ♪ 170 00:06:58,625 --> 00:07:00,500 ♪ On it like dew on the window pane ♪ 171 00:07:00,583 --> 00:07:02,625 ♪ 7:00 am, we was up all night ♪ 172 00:07:02,708 --> 00:07:03,791 ♪ I was watching you dance ♪ 173 00:07:03,875 --> 00:07:04,916 Hey, yo, Chester, over here, man. 174 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,250 Hey, I'll see you at practice. 175 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:07,666 Alright, bro. 176 00:07:07,750 --> 00:07:10,833 ♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪ 177 00:07:10,916 --> 00:07:12,583 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 178 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,333 Hey. Later still good? 179 00:07:14,416 --> 00:07:15,625 Yeah, I'll meet you there. 180 00:07:15,708 --> 00:07:17,000 ♪ Crush ♪ 181 00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:19,833 ♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪ 182 00:07:19,916 --> 00:07:22,000 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 183 00:07:22,083 --> 00:07:24,375 ♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪ 184 00:07:24,458 --> 00:07:26,916 ♪ Crush ♪ I never planned to crush ♪ 185 00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:29,000 ♪ But I'm saying all them things to make you blush ♪ 186 00:07:29,083 --> 00:07:30,500 ♪ This is such a rush ♪ 187 00:07:30,583 --> 00:07:32,166 ♪ Blood to the head, like I'm upside down ♪ 188 00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,000 ♪ Let you cool down, you ain't a tough guy ♪ 189 00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:35,416 ♪ Say that ♪ 190 00:07:35,500 --> 00:07:37,083 ♪ Unless you lookin' for a rough ride ♪ 191 00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,666 ♪ Poppin' wheelies in the sunshine, play that ♪ 192 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:40,375 ♪ Put you on my BMX, feel like a Maybach ♪ 193 00:07:40,458 --> 00:07:42,750 ♪ Ooh, throw it back just like a 8-track ♪ 194 00:07:42,833 --> 00:07:45,041 ♪ Marvin Gaye, we do it your way ♪ 195 00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:47,208 ♪ Usher Raymond, do it my way ♪ 196 00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:49,208 ♪ What happens when you stick that jam ♪ 197 00:07:49,291 --> 00:07:51,750 ♪ In the middle of the yams? ♪ ♪ Crush ♪ 198 00:07:51,833 --> 00:07:54,875 ♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪ 199 00:07:54,958 --> 00:07:57,375 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 200 00:07:57,458 --> 00:08:00,541 Can anyone sell me a shirt? I have a dollar. 201 00:08:00,625 --> 00:08:02,541 ♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪ 202 00:08:02,625 --> 00:08:05,041 Anyone? ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 203 00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:06,333 -Shirt for a dollar? -Sorry, man. 204 00:08:06,416 --> 00:08:09,041 ♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪ 205 00:08:09,125 --> 00:08:10,250 ♪ Crush ♪ 206 00:08:10,333 --> 00:08:11,958 "Magic Mike" stage show over here. 207 00:08:12,041 --> 00:08:13,625 -Ow! -Just kidding. 208 00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:15,375 I got dress-coded. -Ow! 209 00:08:15,458 --> 00:08:17,833 ♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪ 210 00:08:17,916 --> 00:08:19,708 ♪ Crush ♪ [ Whistle blows ] 211 00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:21,958 -Alright, let's see it! -Hey! 212 00:08:22,041 --> 00:08:26,458 [ Indistinct shouting ] 213 00:08:26,541 --> 00:08:28,000 You got it, you got it, you got it! 214 00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:32,666 -Nice! -Chester, take the shot! 215 00:08:32,750 --> 00:08:34,333 [ Cheering ] 216 00:08:34,416 --> 00:08:35,916 [ Whistle blows ] 217 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,666 [ Playing in headphones] ♪ Could never let me down ♪ 218 00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:41,333 ♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪ 219 00:08:41,416 --> 00:08:43,625 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 220 00:08:43,708 --> 00:08:46,166 ♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪ 221 00:08:46,250 --> 00:08:47,708 ♪ Crush ♪ 222 00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:50,333 ♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪ 223 00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:52,625 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 224 00:08:52,708 --> 00:08:55,083 ♪ You could never let me down ♪ 225 00:08:55,166 --> 00:08:56,583 ♪ Crush ♪ 226 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:59,083 ♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪ 227 00:08:59,166 --> 00:09:01,375 ♪ And you would never let me down ♪ 228 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,625 ♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪ 229 00:09:03,708 --> 00:09:05,958 [ Laughs ] I can't believe we got past! 230 00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:08,541 I've been wanting to see this one so bad! 231 00:09:13,083 --> 00:09:15,583 [ Laughing ] 232 00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:23,000 [ Siren wails in distance ] 233 00:09:28,083 --> 00:09:30,958 [ Jackhammering and horns honking in distance ] 234 00:09:57,958 --> 00:10:00,041 Yo. 235 00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:06,541 Yes! [ Laughs ] 236 00:10:27,458 --> 00:10:33,250 ♪♪ 237 00:10:33,333 --> 00:10:39,125 ♪♪ 238 00:10:39,208 --> 00:10:41,791 [ Electricity buzzing ] 239 00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,500 Ah-ooooo-oooooooo! 240 00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:55,791 ♪♪ 241 00:10:55,875 --> 00:10:57,958 ♪ Push, press ♪ 242 00:10:58,041 --> 00:10:59,875 ♪ More, less ♪ 243 00:10:59,958 --> 00:11:01,083 [ Tires screech, horn honks ] 244 00:11:01,166 --> 00:11:02,041 Fuck! Sorry. 245 00:11:02,125 --> 00:11:04,041 ♪ What's your pleasure? ♪ 246 00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:08,416 ♪ Stop, go, fast, slow ♪ 247 00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,708 ♪ Here together ♪ 248 00:11:10,791 --> 00:11:13,750 ♪ What's your pleasure? ♪ 249 00:11:13,833 --> 00:11:15,916 [ Indistinct talking ] 250 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,416 Hey, I'm Riley. 251 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:19,083 Oh, nice to meet you. 252 00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:20,916 Nathan's not here yet. Alright. 253 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:24,041 Uh, there's stuff to drink inside. Cool. 254 00:11:24,125 --> 00:11:27,041 That girl, the one wearing way too much pink -- she's got weed. 255 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:29,750 She steals it from her parents, but she'll charge you... 256 00:11:29,833 --> 00:11:31,791 while making low-key homophobic jokes. 257 00:11:31,875 --> 00:11:33,750 She thinks it's okay 'cause she has two dads. 258 00:11:33,833 --> 00:11:36,666 Uh, well, maybe they're those self-hating gays. 259 00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:38,000 It's, like, a whole thing. 260 00:11:38,083 --> 00:11:39,166 I'm really glad you came. 261 00:11:39,250 --> 00:11:40,916 Thank you. 262 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,500 Don't break Nathan's heart. 263 00:11:42,583 --> 00:11:45,458 Yeah, I feel like in general I don't want to mess with you. 264 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,666 [ Laughter ] 265 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:54,791 [ Indistinct talking ] 266 00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:56,208 Let's fuck those turtles up! 267 00:11:56,291 --> 00:11:57,666 [ Cellphone buzzing ] Girl: Ah! 268 00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,583 Group: Ooooh! 269 00:11:59,666 --> 00:12:02,750 ♪♪ 270 00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:03,958 Hello? 271 00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,833 This is Sam, your guidance counselor. 272 00:12:06,916 --> 00:12:08,958 I got the picture you sent. 273 00:12:09,041 --> 00:12:12,625 Uh, shit. And you thought...what? 274 00:12:12,708 --> 00:12:14,958 I need to know if you're okay. 275 00:12:15,041 --> 00:12:16,958 I was worried. 276 00:12:17,041 --> 00:12:19,791 Um, it's -- it's -- it's called rooftopping. 277 00:12:19,875 --> 00:12:21,791 It's just a thing that people do. 278 00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,791 [ Chuckling ] You can Google it. 279 00:12:23,875 --> 00:12:25,625 How did you get my number? 280 00:12:25,708 --> 00:12:29,125 I called your house. Your grandma gave it to me. 281 00:12:29,208 --> 00:12:34,458 Look, I need to meet with you Monday. 282 00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:36,000 Why? 283 00:12:36,083 --> 00:12:38,166 Send a picture like that, I'm doing something about it. 284 00:12:38,250 --> 00:12:39,583 I have to. 285 00:12:39,666 --> 00:12:40,916 No, you don't. 286 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,125 I have to. 287 00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:45,458 Okay, I love me a good savior complex, 288 00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:48,083 but you're really pushing it. 289 00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:51,125 I know people who've tried to hurt themselves. 290 00:12:52,833 --> 00:12:56,666 I don't -- I don't mess around with stuff like this. 291 00:12:56,750 --> 00:12:58,083 Um... 292 00:12:58,166 --> 00:13:01,958 well, that's not me. 293 00:13:02,041 --> 00:13:03,291 I'm relieved to hear it, 294 00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:05,958 but I'd still like to meet with you. 295 00:13:09,083 --> 00:13:13,916 You said, "This is what loneliness looks like." 296 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,041 Meaning it's fucking beautiful. 297 00:13:18,125 --> 00:13:19,875 Um... 298 00:13:19,958 --> 00:13:21,750 Yeah. 299 00:13:26,416 --> 00:13:29,000 I'll meet with you Monday. 300 00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,791 I appreciate you being honest. 301 00:13:31,875 --> 00:13:32,958 No one ever is. 302 00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:36,041 I'll always be honest with you. 303 00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:39,208 You just might not always like it. 304 00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:41,666 Bye. 305 00:13:41,750 --> 00:13:43,250 [ Cellphone squawking ] 306 00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:44,916 Chingada! Sorry. 307 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,208 That's okay. 308 00:13:46,291 --> 00:13:48,708 Girl: Hey, are you even real right now? 309 00:13:48,791 --> 00:13:57,291 ♪♪ 310 00:13:57,375 --> 00:14:00,125 I wasn't invited. 311 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:07,833 ♪♪ 312 00:14:07,916 --> 00:14:09,875 ♪ Everything won't go right ♪ 313 00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:11,250 ♪ But still I learn ♪ 314 00:14:11,333 --> 00:14:12,875 ♪ Even though I'm here on Earth ♪ 315 00:14:12,958 --> 00:14:14,750 ♪ Heaven is the place I'm worth ♪ 316 00:14:14,833 --> 00:14:15,875 ♪ I'll make it work ♪ 317 00:14:15,958 --> 00:14:17,083 -Hi. -Nathan? 318 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:18,708 -Sorry. -Hey, how's it going? 319 00:14:18,791 --> 00:14:20,916 I'm having the worst night of my life. 320 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,791 Wait, are you crying? 321 00:14:22,875 --> 00:14:25,333 No, I-I just got something in my eye. 322 00:14:25,416 --> 00:14:26,708 Fuck. It sucks. 323 00:14:26,791 --> 00:14:28,250 Wait a minute, I want to talk to you. 324 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,583 -Can you take a picture of us? -Seriously? 325 00:14:30,666 --> 00:14:32,750 I just said I was having the worst night of my life. 326 00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:36,750 This might be the worst night of your life. 327 00:14:36,833 --> 00:14:38,625 Actually, no, that might be 328 00:14:38,708 --> 00:14:42,750 when your old youth pastor messages you on Grindr. 329 00:14:42,833 --> 00:14:44,625 Okay, we're ready. [ Chuckles ] 330 00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,875 But...my point is, 331 00:14:46,958 --> 00:14:51,625 for the most part, it only goes up, right? 332 00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:55,583 And you should get a picture to remember 333 00:14:55,666 --> 00:14:58,625 that you'll never feel that bad again. 334 00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,291 I'm not really following you. 335 00:15:01,375 --> 00:15:03,291 That's okay. 336 00:15:04,708 --> 00:15:06,958 [ Cellphone vibrates ] 337 00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:15,791 ♪♪ 338 00:15:15,875 --> 00:15:17,666 Girl: You ready? 339 00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,791 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 340 00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:51,583 [ Laughs ] 341 00:15:51,666 --> 00:15:53,125 What does it look like? 342 00:15:53,208 --> 00:15:55,333 [ Laughter ] 343 00:15:55,416 --> 00:15:56,500 [ Speaks Spanish ] 344 00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:58,541 ♪ I like boys I like pecs ♪ 345 00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,541 ♪ Like them arms when they flex ♪ 346 00:16:00,625 --> 00:16:02,416 ♪ Like that print in them sweats ♪ 347 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:03,583 ♪ Tell them girls, "Thank you, next" ♪ 348 00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:05,083 See you guys later. 349 00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:06,583 ♪ I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em ♪ 350 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,541 ♪ Like them abs when there's six of 'em ♪ 351 00:16:08,625 --> 00:16:10,208 ♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪ 352 00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:14,000 ♪ I like boys Mama, boys like me ♪ 353 00:16:14,083 --> 00:16:15,458 Um, hi. 354 00:16:15,541 --> 00:16:18,875 Um, those portraits you took of Lucía are amazing. 355 00:16:18,958 --> 00:16:21,375 You're so talented. Oh, that's so sweet. 356 00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,875 I barely had to do anything. Her eyes are gorgeous. 357 00:16:23,958 --> 00:16:26,000 I'm obsessed with her. 358 00:16:26,083 --> 00:16:27,875 Here, I'll show you. 359 00:16:33,166 --> 00:16:35,875 This is the most amazing picture I've ever seen. 360 00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:37,333 [ Both laugh ] 361 00:16:37,416 --> 00:16:38,833 Oh, shoot, that's out of focus. 362 00:16:38,916 --> 00:16:40,916 Oh, no, I didn't like that one. Yeah. 363 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,375 I'm sorry, I just... No. Yeah. 364 00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:44,625 It's -- the focus is weird. 365 00:16:44,708 --> 00:16:46,583 Oh, yeah, you're right. This one. 366 00:16:46,666 --> 00:16:47,875 This is the amazing one. 367 00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,666 Yeah. 368 00:16:54,666 --> 00:16:55,875 Are you coming tonight? 369 00:16:55,958 --> 00:16:57,291 Definitely. 370 00:16:57,375 --> 00:16:59,083 Cool. 371 00:16:59,166 --> 00:17:01,708 Ana, can you help me with my makeup? 372 00:17:01,791 --> 00:17:04,125 What the fuck? Yes. 373 00:17:04,208 --> 00:17:05,625 [ Laughs ] 374 00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,416 [ Radio playing Paulina Rubio's "Yo Yo Siga Aquí ] 375 00:17:08,500 --> 00:17:11,833 ♪ Pensaré si queda alguna manera ♪ 376 00:17:11,916 --> 00:17:15,416 ♪ Pensaré si queda alguna manera ♪ 377 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:19,583 ♪ Pa' que te fijes en mí y entonces me quieras ♪ 378 00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:21,000 [ Gunfire ] 379 00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:22,750 The guns. 380 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,208 Tonight we're gonna have a little kiki 381 00:17:24,291 --> 00:17:25,666 about toxic masculinity. 382 00:17:25,750 --> 00:17:26,791 [ Speaks Spanish ] 383 00:17:26,875 --> 00:17:28,708 [ Gunfire and screaming ] 384 00:17:28,791 --> 00:17:30,625 Go like this. 385 00:17:32,083 --> 00:17:34,166 Now go like that. 386 00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,541 More. 387 00:17:35,625 --> 00:17:37,416 [ Laughs ] 388 00:17:37,500 --> 00:17:38,833 Not too much makeup, okay? 389 00:17:38,916 --> 00:17:40,916 Do you tell a banker how to count money? 390 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,666 Shut the fuck up. 391 00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:43,958 Who is she? 392 00:17:44,041 --> 00:17:45,458 Who? 393 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:47,375 The girl I'm beating your face for. 394 00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:50,125 Oh, uh, it's not for anyone. 395 00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:52,500 It's just, you know, a party. 396 00:17:52,583 --> 00:17:53,625 Bitch, please. 397 00:17:53,708 --> 00:17:55,541 I'm your aunt, not your mother. 398 00:17:55,625 --> 00:17:57,250 I don't care. 399 00:17:57,333 --> 00:17:59,583 Am I supposed to tell you to be home at a certain time? 400 00:17:59,666 --> 00:18:00,666 -No. -11:00! 401 00:18:00,750 --> 00:18:02,791 I'm gonna fucking kill you. 402 00:18:02,875 --> 00:18:05,333 How about 1:00? 403 00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:07,583 Thank you. 404 00:18:07,666 --> 00:18:09,375 You talk to her today? 405 00:18:09,458 --> 00:18:11,416 Who? 406 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:14,500 Tu mamá. 407 00:18:14,583 --> 00:18:16,333 Uh-huh. 408 00:18:18,666 --> 00:18:19,833 It's too stressful. 409 00:18:19,916 --> 00:18:21,333 I don't know what to say to her on the phone. 410 00:18:21,416 --> 00:18:22,666 She just starts crying. 411 00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:25,541 What the fuck, Greta? No seas egoísta. 412 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:26,833 I am not selfish! 413 00:18:26,916 --> 00:18:28,458 I don't know what to say to her on the phone. 414 00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,041 Why are you yelling at me? 415 00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:31,208 Put yourself in her shoes. 416 00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:32,666 Why do you care about her? 417 00:18:32,750 --> 00:18:35,208 -She's your mother. -She's a total bitch to you. 418 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:38,166 You watching us while she's gone 419 00:18:38,250 --> 00:18:40,625 is, like, her nightmare. 420 00:18:40,708 --> 00:18:43,000 Yeah, mine, too. 421 00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:44,833 [ Banging ] 422 00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,458 [ Baby crying in distance ] 423 00:18:47,541 --> 00:18:50,083 [ Dog barking ] 424 00:18:56,541 --> 00:18:58,708 [ Cellphone squawking ] 425 00:18:58,791 --> 00:19:01,500 [ Party music playing in distance ] 426 00:19:01,583 --> 00:19:03,125 Chingada! Sorry. 427 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:04,375 That's okay. 428 00:19:04,458 --> 00:19:05,875 Girl: Wait, are you even real right now? 429 00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:08,041 Hi! Oh, my God. 430 00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:10,208 Your tits look so good. 431 00:19:10,291 --> 00:19:13,375 And, um, can we talk about that crop top? 432 00:19:13,458 --> 00:19:15,291 I hate it when hot guys go queeny. 433 00:19:15,375 --> 00:19:17,750 Like, stay with me, baby. 434 00:19:17,833 --> 00:19:19,041 Be a man. 435 00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,750 Do your dads care that you say shit like that? 436 00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:22,916 Seriously, you're such a bigot. 437 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,500 How can I be a bigot? 438 00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:26,375 My parents are fags. 439 00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:32,083 ♪♪ 440 00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:34,916 Hey, there you are. 441 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,791 Wait, are you okay? 442 00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:38,083 Oh, my God. [ Laughs ] 443 00:19:38,166 --> 00:19:39,750 I'm so sorry. [ Clattering ] 444 00:19:39,833 --> 00:19:41,583 Wait, one second. D-Don't move, okay? 445 00:19:41,666 --> 00:19:42,833 I'll be right back. 446 00:19:42,916 --> 00:19:44,291 Hi, hi, are you okay? 447 00:19:44,375 --> 00:19:46,666 -I'm alright. -I'm texting Chester right now. 448 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,625 Don't worry about Naomi. You don't need a twin. 449 00:19:48,708 --> 00:19:49,958 You have me. -I'm fine. 450 00:19:50,041 --> 00:19:52,083 Nathan: I just got something in my eye. 451 00:19:52,166 --> 00:19:54,625 Hi. Sorry. 452 00:19:54,708 --> 00:19:56,250 Are you okay? 453 00:19:56,333 --> 00:19:57,750 Chester: Nathan? 454 00:19:57,833 --> 00:19:59,416 Family drama. 455 00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:02,791 Hey, how's it going? Oh. That sucks. 456 00:20:02,875 --> 00:20:05,750 Wait, are you crying? 457 00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:10,500 -My mom recently got, um -- -Fuck. 458 00:20:10,583 --> 00:20:11,666 Wait a minute. I want to talk to you. 459 00:20:11,750 --> 00:20:12,916 Can you take a picture of us? 460 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,625 Yeah, one second. 461 00:20:14,708 --> 00:20:17,125 This might be the worst night of your life. 462 00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:18,625 Are you sure you're okay? 463 00:20:18,708 --> 00:20:20,916 Actually, no, that might be 464 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,166 when your old youth pastor... 465 00:20:22,250 --> 00:20:24,750 Yeah. 466 00:20:24,833 --> 00:20:26,625 Okay, we're ready. 467 00:20:26,708 --> 00:20:29,458 But my point is... 468 00:20:31,416 --> 00:20:34,791 ♪ It's okay, it's okay ♪ 469 00:20:34,875 --> 00:20:36,333 You ready? 470 00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:38,333 [ Camera shutter clicks ] [ Woman moans ] 471 00:20:38,416 --> 00:20:42,791 Man: Oh, yeah. You want pussy and dick, don't you? 472 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:45,166 Woman: You like that double Happy Meal. 473 00:20:45,250 --> 00:20:48,375 You want to order a burger, a hot dog, 474 00:20:48,458 --> 00:20:50,458 and all the soda! 475 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:52,625 [ Shudders ] Man: Oh, fuck! 476 00:20:52,708 --> 00:20:55,000 Ah! [ Shudders ] 477 00:20:55,083 --> 00:20:58,166 [ Moaning ] 478 00:20:58,250 --> 00:20:59,666 Man: Doggone it, Naomi, that credit card's 479 00:20:59,750 --> 00:21:00,791 for emergencies only. 480 00:21:00,875 --> 00:21:02,458 Naomi: It was an emergency, Dad! 481 00:21:02,541 --> 00:21:05,041 At bleepin' Nordstrom's? [ Woman screaming ] 482 00:21:05,125 --> 00:21:07,541 Yes, at bleepin' Nordstrom's, Dad! 483 00:21:07,625 --> 00:21:09,416 If you had a bleepin' monthly visitor 484 00:21:09,500 --> 00:21:11,000 and you were wearing white pants, 485 00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:13,375 you might have to go to bleepin' Nordstrom's! 486 00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:15,125 So yeah, it -- it was a bleep-- 487 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:17,333 Megan: I'm gonna be in school today for a fundraising meeting, 488 00:21:17,416 --> 00:21:19,708 so I can take you and your sister 489 00:21:19,791 --> 00:21:21,291 to church for the rehearsal. 490 00:21:21,375 --> 00:21:23,541 Please wear a collared shirt -- makes you look taller. 491 00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:26,666 We have to leave right after school, so meet me out front. 492 00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:28,000 What did I say? 493 00:21:28,083 --> 00:21:29,166 -Meet you out front. -Were you talking to me? 494 00:21:29,250 --> 00:21:30,541 Right after school. No. 495 00:21:30,625 --> 00:21:31,833 Why are they having a rehearsal 496 00:21:31,916 --> 00:21:33,041 when the wedding is two weeks away? 497 00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:34,708 Because we're organized, 498 00:21:34,791 --> 00:21:37,166 and because I have the mayor's prayer breakfast to deal with, 499 00:21:37,250 --> 00:21:40,625 and there are already 1,500 RSVPs. 500 00:21:40,708 --> 00:21:42,833 Oh. [ Exhales ] 501 00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:44,375 Mm. 502 00:21:47,083 --> 00:21:49,166 Oh, no. Please, no. 503 00:21:49,250 --> 00:21:51,125 -What? -Nothing. 504 00:21:51,208 --> 00:21:53,541 Megan: I'm gonna be at school today for a fundraising meeting, 505 00:21:53,625 --> 00:21:55,750 so I can take you and your brother 506 00:21:55,833 --> 00:21:57,875 to the church for rehearsal, okay? 507 00:21:57,958 --> 00:21:59,166 And please wear the pleated skirt. 508 00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:02,000 It's so nice for your knees. 509 00:22:02,083 --> 00:22:03,416 What's the purple dot for? 510 00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,875 -Will you taste this, honey? -Um, eggs. 511 00:22:06,958 --> 00:22:09,125 Venmo me... I can take you and your brother to the church 512 00:22:09,208 --> 00:22:10,583 for the rehearsal, okay? 513 00:22:10,666 --> 00:22:13,041 So meet me out front, okay? What did I say? 514 00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:15,750 -[ Snorts ] -Wow. 515 00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:19,666 Will you put down your phones, please, and listen to me? 516 00:22:19,750 --> 00:22:23,083 It's very frustrating, you know, 517 00:22:23,166 --> 00:22:25,833 that you insist on seeing me in this way. 518 00:22:25,916 --> 00:22:27,833 I am a loose person 519 00:22:27,916 --> 00:22:30,541 with a wide range of interests. 520 00:22:30,625 --> 00:22:33,500 I'm blessed with many, many friends. 521 00:22:33,583 --> 00:22:36,375 I-I do appreciate modern art. 522 00:22:36,458 --> 00:22:38,500 I adore the Spanish language. 523 00:22:38,583 --> 00:22:41,083 You know, I'm -- I'm a fully formed person, 524 00:22:41,166 --> 00:22:43,375 and yet you two -- you insist on seeing me 525 00:22:43,458 --> 00:22:47,333 like this -- this stick figure, 526 00:22:47,416 --> 00:22:49,583 and it's very... 527 00:22:49,666 --> 00:22:52,750 it's frustrating. 528 00:22:52,833 --> 00:22:54,583 We weren't even talking about you. 529 00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:57,250 Father: Nathan. 530 00:22:57,333 --> 00:23:00,125 If I ever start scheduling sex dates on a white board, 531 00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:02,125 please just, like, stab me repeatedly. 532 00:23:02,208 --> 00:23:04,625 Same. Also, why did they choose purple? 533 00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:05,958 I loved purple. 534 00:23:06,041 --> 00:23:07,291 And now every time I see purple, 535 00:23:07,375 --> 00:23:10,083 I think about Dad ramming Mom. 536 00:23:10,166 --> 00:23:12,250 Oh, look, there's Jack. 537 00:23:12,333 --> 00:23:14,416 Could he be hotter? 538 00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:15,708 You can hang with us, you know. 539 00:23:15,791 --> 00:23:17,250 I don't wanna third wheel. 540 00:23:17,333 --> 00:23:20,625 Whatever. He knows we talk about everything anyway. 541 00:23:20,708 --> 00:23:22,208 I mean, I tell you more than you tell me, 542 00:23:22,291 --> 00:23:23,958 but that's just 'cause you're not getting any. 543 00:23:24,041 --> 00:23:25,833 Literally all you're getting is hickeys. 544 00:23:25,916 --> 00:23:27,958 He wants me to blow him. 545 00:23:28,041 --> 00:23:30,458 But I don't know. Dicks are not cute. 546 00:23:30,541 --> 00:23:31,750 Is he even circumcised? 547 00:23:31,833 --> 00:23:34,208 God, you're nasty. 548 00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:35,291 Hi. -Hey. 549 00:23:35,375 --> 00:23:36,333 -Hi. -What's up, baby? 550 00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:38,291 -Hi. -How you doing? 551 00:23:40,333 --> 00:23:42,833 [ School bell rings ] 552 00:23:42,916 --> 00:23:44,000 ♪ I like boys ♪ 553 00:23:44,083 --> 00:23:45,916 Riley: Oh, shit. 554 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,833 See, I don't find a crop top on a guy sexy. 555 00:23:47,916 --> 00:23:50,625 No, I agree, but the ballsiness is... 556 00:23:50,708 --> 00:23:52,125 and the zero body fat. 557 00:23:52,208 --> 00:23:55,291 Jesus, can you please invite him to your party tonight? 558 00:23:55,375 --> 00:23:56,625 No, I'm not gonna invite him. 559 00:23:56,708 --> 00:24:00,125 I don't know him. 560 00:24:00,208 --> 00:24:01,750 Naomi hates me. 561 00:24:01,833 --> 00:24:03,833 She low-key hates everyone. 562 00:24:03,916 --> 00:24:05,625 Also, she can't start dating and then ignore me 563 00:24:05,708 --> 00:24:07,458 and all of a sudden stop watching "The Bachelor" 564 00:24:07,541 --> 00:24:09,166 with me in season 23 565 00:24:09,250 --> 00:24:11,541 and then be jealous of me having friends. 566 00:24:11,625 --> 00:24:12,791 Greta: Um, hi. 567 00:24:12,875 --> 00:24:14,291 Um, that Lucía picture you took is amazing. 568 00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:15,500 You're so talented. 569 00:24:15,583 --> 00:24:16,708 Oh, thanks. 570 00:24:16,791 --> 00:24:18,125 Are you coming tonight? 571 00:24:18,208 --> 00:24:19,208 Definitely. 572 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:22,041 Cool. 573 00:24:22,125 --> 00:24:23,375 Nathan: What a fucking hero. 574 00:24:23,458 --> 00:24:25,375 Riley, you need to invite him. 575 00:24:25,458 --> 00:24:28,291 I'm not gonna invite him. 576 00:24:28,375 --> 00:24:30,166 What's this gonna say? 577 00:24:30,250 --> 00:24:31,541 [ School bell rings ] 578 00:24:31,625 --> 00:24:33,291 You're reviewing last night's homework, 579 00:24:33,375 --> 00:24:36,416 numbers 4, 6, 7, and 8. 580 00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:38,208 I had trouble with number 8. 581 00:24:38,291 --> 00:24:39,291 She's so annoying. 582 00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:40,958 Okay, let's talk about it. 583 00:24:41,041 --> 00:24:43,541 Okay, "The ratio of boys to girls in a physics class is 3:1. 584 00:24:43,625 --> 00:24:45,500 If six students are absent and the total class number 585 00:24:45,583 --> 00:24:48,541 is divisible by six, how many students are girls?" 586 00:24:48,625 --> 00:24:50,333 What's the problem, Delilah? 587 00:24:50,416 --> 00:24:51,750 The problem is 588 00:24:51,833 --> 00:24:54,583 we don't live in a world of just boys and girls. 589 00:24:54,666 --> 00:24:56,666 What about non-binary kids? 590 00:24:56,750 --> 00:24:58,708 Well, let's assume that all the students 591 00:24:58,791 --> 00:25:02,833 in this fictitious class are straight. 592 00:25:02,916 --> 00:25:06,333 I think the word you meant to say is cisgender, 593 00:25:06,416 --> 00:25:08,500 but anyways, solving the problem, 594 00:25:08,583 --> 00:25:10,208 there are apparently 36 boys 595 00:25:10,291 --> 00:25:12,791 and apparently 12 girls in a physics class, 596 00:25:12,875 --> 00:25:16,166 which, when you think about it, is pretty anti-feminist. 597 00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:19,125 And, like, what about the six absent kids? 598 00:25:19,208 --> 00:25:21,416 Is anyone else thinking they didn't show up 599 00:25:21,500 --> 00:25:23,750 because they are non-binary 600 00:25:23,833 --> 00:25:25,375 and felt sick of getting bullied 601 00:25:25,458 --> 00:25:28,416 by douchey cisgender kids? 602 00:25:28,500 --> 00:25:32,083 Well, um, moving on to problem 9. 603 00:25:32,166 --> 00:25:34,791 Actually, I also had trouble with number 9. 604 00:25:34,875 --> 00:25:37,166 "Magic Mike" stage show over here. 605 00:25:37,250 --> 00:25:39,583 Girl: Ow! 606 00:25:39,666 --> 00:25:40,791 Arianna: What is this? 607 00:25:40,875 --> 00:25:42,416 Naomi: Bitch, they're hickeys. Come on. 608 00:25:42,500 --> 00:25:45,291 Oh, my God, I heard if the hickeys are long and skinny 609 00:25:45,375 --> 00:25:47,291 it means he's a sociopath. 610 00:25:47,375 --> 00:25:50,458 But if they're round, he's a normal guy. 611 00:25:50,541 --> 00:25:52,958 They look kinda long and skinny. 612 00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:54,083 Really? 613 00:25:54,166 --> 00:25:56,458 Also, a New Zealand woman had a stroke 614 00:25:56,541 --> 00:25:57,833 because of a hickey, okay? 615 00:25:57,916 --> 00:25:59,416 -You're joking. -So be careful. 616 00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:01,125 His mouth is lethal. 617 00:26:01,208 --> 00:26:02,791 -What are you doing? -It's funny. 618 00:26:02,875 --> 00:26:04,500 No, it's not funny! Give me your phone. 619 00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:05,916 -No. -Give me your phone! 620 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,291 No! Why do you have to be such a douche? 621 00:26:08,375 --> 00:26:10,958 Fuck you! 622 00:26:11,041 --> 00:26:12,791 Fine, snitch on me to Mom again. 623 00:26:12,875 --> 00:26:13,916 I don't care! 624 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,500 Priest: Okay, how's everybody feeling? 625 00:26:17,583 --> 00:26:20,125 A little nervous? It's normal. 626 00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:23,500 Okay, so I'll make a brief intro, 627 00:26:23,583 --> 00:26:25,125 then I'll say a few words about you... 628 00:26:25,208 --> 00:26:26,666 Nathan: Oh. 629 00:26:26,750 --> 00:26:28,208 ...about how much your family has meant to this church. 630 00:26:28,291 --> 00:26:30,750 Megan: Oh, please, no, no, no, no. 631 00:26:30,833 --> 00:26:33,875 No, you don't have to say anything. 632 00:26:33,958 --> 00:26:35,458 I couldn't possibly dominate this. 633 00:26:35,541 --> 00:26:36,833 It's not about me. 634 00:26:36,916 --> 00:26:38,750 -You know -- -It's about Natalia. 635 00:26:38,833 --> 00:26:40,416 This is Natalia's day. 636 00:26:40,500 --> 00:26:43,000 I do need to say something, Megan and Mark. No. 637 00:26:43,083 --> 00:26:45,333 My goodness, what you have done for us -- 638 00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:48,333 No, really, please, it's not -- it's -- we do what we can. 639 00:26:48,416 --> 00:26:51,833 Okay, so I'll be reading from 1 Corinthians. 640 00:26:51,916 --> 00:26:55,166 "Love is patient, love is kind. 641 00:26:55,250 --> 00:26:58,041 It does not envy, it does not boast, 642 00:26:58,125 --> 00:27:00,166 it is not proud. 643 00:27:00,250 --> 00:27:04,083 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, 644 00:27:04,166 --> 00:27:08,625 it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 645 00:27:08,708 --> 00:27:14,541 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 646 00:27:14,625 --> 00:27:17,291 It always protects, always trusts, 647 00:27:17,375 --> 00:27:20,625 always hopes, always perseveres." 648 00:27:20,708 --> 00:27:22,083 Can you please just keep it a secret? 649 00:27:22,166 --> 00:27:23,500 You just said you're not gay. 650 00:27:23,583 --> 00:27:24,625 I'm not! 651 00:27:24,708 --> 00:27:26,208 Why would you even record that? 652 00:27:26,291 --> 00:27:28,041 For the same reason you took the picture. 653 00:27:28,125 --> 00:27:30,125 -It was a joke! -Me too! 654 00:27:30,208 --> 00:27:32,541 How was I supposed to know I was recording gay porn? 655 00:27:32,625 --> 00:27:33,916 It's not gay. 656 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:36,041 A guy sending a guy dick pics? 657 00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:38,791 What could be gayer than that? 658 00:27:38,875 --> 00:27:40,208 Why wouldn't you tell me? 659 00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:42,541 There's nothing to tell. I tell you everything. 660 00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,125 I told you I might even touch a dick. 661 00:27:44,208 --> 00:27:48,875 Okay, well, maybe touching a dick is very different. 662 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:50,291 Oh, my God. 663 00:27:50,375 --> 00:27:53,000 If you want to do secrets and shit, fine, we'll do it. 664 00:27:53,083 --> 00:27:54,750 I just -- I thought we were -- 665 00:27:54,833 --> 00:27:56,333 What? 666 00:27:56,416 --> 00:27:59,750 I don't know, like, not like that. 667 00:27:59,833 --> 00:28:03,208 But if you show anyone that picture, 668 00:28:03,291 --> 00:28:06,583 I will project this video on top of the fucking school. 669 00:28:08,541 --> 00:28:11,500 [ Party music playing ] 670 00:28:11,583 --> 00:28:12,708 [ Tires screech, horn honks ] 671 00:28:12,791 --> 00:28:14,333 Fuck! Sorry. 672 00:28:14,416 --> 00:28:19,083 ♪♪ 673 00:28:19,166 --> 00:28:20,500 ♪ Here together ♪ 674 00:28:20,583 --> 00:28:23,291 Oh, hey. I totally crashed. 675 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,708 ♪ Here together ♪ 676 00:28:29,791 --> 00:28:31,583 ♪ What's your pleasure ♪ 677 00:28:31,666 --> 00:28:35,000 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 678 00:28:35,083 --> 00:28:39,208 ♪ Ooh-ooh ♪ 679 00:28:39,291 --> 00:28:43,083 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 680 00:28:43,166 --> 00:28:47,250 ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 681 00:28:47,333 --> 00:28:48,791 Let's fuck those turtles up! 682 00:28:48,875 --> 00:28:52,958 ♪ Look so pretty dancing sideways ♪ 683 00:28:53,041 --> 00:28:56,541 Hey, Jack, can I, um, talk to you for a minute? 684 00:28:56,625 --> 00:28:57,791 Yeah. 685 00:28:57,875 --> 00:29:00,791 ♪ Spin me 'round so I'm unwinding ♪ 686 00:29:00,875 --> 00:29:05,416 ♪ Can you tell it's real? ♪ 687 00:29:05,500 --> 00:29:10,500 ♪ I know the way to make you happy ♪ 688 00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:26,208 This is, um... 689 00:29:30,541 --> 00:29:31,916 Do you feel shitty? 690 00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:34,208 'Cause I feel shitty, and Naomi saw the chat -- 691 00:29:34,291 --> 00:29:36,083 She's not gonna find out. 692 00:29:36,166 --> 00:29:38,166 And it's not like it means anything, right? 693 00:29:38,250 --> 00:29:39,541 It's just -- just a hookup? 694 00:29:39,625 --> 00:29:41,500 Yeah. 695 00:29:41,583 --> 00:29:44,041 [ Both breathing heavily ] 696 00:29:52,750 --> 00:29:54,208 Mm, mm. Sorry. 697 00:29:54,291 --> 00:29:56,208 It's okay. 698 00:30:02,250 --> 00:30:04,416 Do you want to? 699 00:30:04,500 --> 00:30:06,583 I don't know, um... 700 00:30:08,958 --> 00:30:11,416 [ Breathing heavily ] 701 00:30:17,750 --> 00:30:18,875 [ Grunts ] 702 00:30:18,958 --> 00:30:21,416 Oh, dude, you just came in my fucking eye! 703 00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:23,041 Oh! 704 00:30:23,125 --> 00:30:24,541 Riley: Wait, one second, okay? 705 00:30:24,625 --> 00:30:25,958 Hold on. I'll be right back. 706 00:30:26,041 --> 00:30:28,041 Hey. Are you okay? I'm fine. 707 00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:30,041 Okay, I'm texting Chester right now. 708 00:30:30,125 --> 00:30:32,416 You gotta talk to him before he leaves. 709 00:30:32,500 --> 00:30:34,541 Hey, don't worry about Naomi. 710 00:30:34,625 --> 00:30:35,833 You don't need a twin. You have me. 711 00:30:35,916 --> 00:30:37,833 I'm fine, I just need some water. 712 00:30:37,916 --> 00:30:42,916 ♪♪ 713 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:47,916 ♪♪ 714 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000 -Hi. -Nathan? 715 00:30:50,083 --> 00:30:52,250 Hey, how's it going? 716 00:30:52,333 --> 00:30:54,625 Wait, are you crying? 717 00:30:54,708 --> 00:30:57,541 No, I'm having the worst night of my fucking life. 718 00:30:57,625 --> 00:30:58,875 Fuck! Riley: That sucks. 719 00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:00,166 Wait a minute, I want to talk to you. 720 00:31:00,250 --> 00:31:01,416 Hey, can you take a picture of us? 721 00:31:01,500 --> 00:31:02,916 -Yeah, one second. -Seriously? 722 00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:04,458 I just said I was having the worst night of my life. 723 00:31:04,541 --> 00:31:06,375 You might be having the worst night of your life. 724 00:31:06,458 --> 00:31:08,625 Actually, no, that might be 725 00:31:08,708 --> 00:31:12,583 when your old youth pastor messages you on Grindr. 726 00:31:12,666 --> 00:31:14,083 But my point is... 727 00:31:14,166 --> 00:31:19,500 ♪ Been living on a prayer all along ♪ 728 00:31:19,583 --> 00:31:21,208 ♪ I can't erase my life ♪ 729 00:31:21,291 --> 00:31:22,791 ♪ Everything won't go right ♪ 730 00:31:22,875 --> 00:31:24,291 ♪ But still I learn ♪ 731 00:31:24,375 --> 00:31:26,125 ♪ Even though I'm here on Earth ♪ 732 00:31:26,208 --> 00:31:27,958 ♪ Heaven is the place I'm worth ♪ 733 00:31:28,041 --> 00:31:29,500 ♪ I'll make it work ♪ 734 00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:31,208 ♪ I wanna change, my lover ♪ 735 00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:32,916 ♪ Even in the days I suffer ♪ 736 00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,250 ♪ I can't get worse ♪ 737 00:31:34,333 --> 00:31:36,958 ...that you'll never feel this bad again. 738 00:31:37,041 --> 00:31:39,458 I'm not really following you. 739 00:31:39,541 --> 00:31:42,125 It's okay. 740 00:31:42,208 --> 00:31:44,625 But will you remind me tomorrow? 741 00:31:44,708 --> 00:31:47,833 It sounds like something I really want to remember. 742 00:31:47,916 --> 00:31:50,625 ♪ It's all good, it's okay ♪ 743 00:31:50,708 --> 00:31:52,625 ♪ Everything is going my way ♪ 744 00:31:52,708 --> 00:31:54,250 ♪ And when it's over ♪ 745 00:31:54,333 --> 00:31:56,125 Riley: You ready? 746 00:31:56,208 --> 00:31:58,375 ♪ And make it to a brand new day ♪ 747 00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:00,250 ♪ And then she'll say ♪ 748 00:32:12,416 --> 00:32:14,833 [ Sheets rustling ] 749 00:32:14,916 --> 00:32:18,500 How badly did I embarrass myself in front of Chester? 750 00:32:18,583 --> 00:32:21,250 You were fine. He liked you. 751 00:32:21,333 --> 00:32:22,541 But? 752 00:32:22,625 --> 00:32:24,916 But nothing. 753 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:26,875 But what? 754 00:32:26,958 --> 00:32:28,833 He said you were really sweet. 755 00:32:33,916 --> 00:32:36,250 Did you actually tell Naomi you're bi? 756 00:32:38,375 --> 00:32:40,083 No. 757 00:32:42,166 --> 00:32:44,916 I can't believe I hooked up with Jack. 758 00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,166 It's okay. 759 00:32:46,250 --> 00:32:48,041 It's really not. 760 00:32:48,125 --> 00:32:50,083 If I had a sister, I would literally do nothing 761 00:32:50,166 --> 00:32:51,833 but fuck her boyfriends. 762 00:32:51,916 --> 00:32:53,916 [ Laughs ] Yeah? 763 00:32:55,708 --> 00:32:57,083 Yeah. 764 00:32:59,250 --> 00:33:02,291 Did you have fun at your party? 765 00:33:02,375 --> 00:33:04,541 Not in a life-altering way. 766 00:33:04,625 --> 00:33:07,000 But yeah, it was fun. 767 00:33:08,791 --> 00:33:12,250 You should go back to bed. 768 00:33:12,333 --> 00:33:14,708 Will you sleep next to me? 769 00:33:14,791 --> 00:33:16,541 Sure. 770 00:33:16,625 --> 00:33:18,416 In a bit. 771 00:33:29,000 --> 00:33:31,916 [ Renforshort's "I Drive Me Mad" plays ] 772 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:39,416 ♪♪ 773 00:33:39,500 --> 00:33:42,125 ♪ I can't quite help it ♪ 774 00:33:42,208 --> 00:33:44,458 ♪ It's overwhelming ♪ 775 00:33:44,541 --> 00:33:49,750 ♪ Sometimes I wanna stick a cigarette in my ♪ 776 00:33:49,833 --> 00:33:52,333 ♪ Eyes closed, not sleeping ♪ 777 00:33:52,416 --> 00:33:54,750 ♪ It's just hard being human ♪ 778 00:33:54,833 --> 00:33:59,708 ♪ Some days I wake up and I feel like I just wanna ♪ 779 00:33:59,791 --> 00:34:01,750 ♪ Dye my hair neon green ♪ 780 00:34:01,833 --> 00:34:04,375 ♪ So I can forget I'm me ♪ 781 00:34:04,458 --> 00:34:10,875 ♪ Don't wanna think about drinking a glass of gasoline ♪ 782 00:34:10,958 --> 00:34:15,000 ♪ I'm hyperventilating, pacing ♪ 783 00:34:15,083 --> 00:34:17,333 ♪ I'm losing my patience ♪ 784 00:34:17,416 --> 00:34:21,458 ♪ Feeling bad about shit I didn't do ♪ 785 00:34:21,541 --> 00:34:24,458 ♪ So dramatic, panicked, ♪ 786 00:34:24,541 --> 00:34:26,625 ♪ I got pre-traumatic ♪ 787 00:34:26,708 --> 00:34:28,750 ♪ Stress 'cause nothing happened yet ♪ 788 00:34:28,833 --> 00:34:30,541 ♪ But it did in my head ♪ 789 00:34:30,625 --> 00:34:32,583 ♪ I drive me mad ♪ 790 00:34:32,666 --> 00:34:35,125 ♪ I drive me absolutely crazy ♪ 791 00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:36,791 ♪ I feel bad ♪ 792 00:34:36,875 --> 00:34:40,291 ♪ For you 'cause I'm so fucking paranoid and sad ♪ 793 00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:43,791 ♪ All the time, you could blame it on my mind ♪ 794 00:34:43,875 --> 00:34:45,625 ♪ And now I'm mad ♪ 795 00:34:45,708 --> 00:34:48,166 ♪ I drive me mad ♪ 796 00:34:48,250 --> 00:34:49,791 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 797 00:34:49,875 --> 00:34:57,333 ♪♪ 798 00:34:57,416 --> 00:35:01,166 ♪ Ah, ah-ah-ah ♪ 799 00:35:01,250 --> 00:35:03,875 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪ 800 00:35:03,958 --> 00:35:07,625 ♪ I feel bad for you ♪ 801 00:35:07,708 --> 00:35:09,833 ♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪ 802 00:35:09,916 --> 00:35:11,833 ♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪ 803 00:35:11,916 --> 00:35:16,375 ♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪ ♪ I drive me mad ♪ 804 00:35:16,458 --> 00:35:18,541 ♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪ 805 00:35:18,625 --> 00:35:20,625 ♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪ 806 00:35:20,708 --> 00:35:24,666 ♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪ ♪ I drive me mad ♪ 807 00:35:24,750 --> 00:35:29,208 ♪ I drive me absolutely crazy, I feel bad ♪ 808 00:35:29,291 --> 00:35:32,708 ♪ For you 'cause I'm so fucking paranoid and sad ♪ 809 00:35:32,791 --> 00:35:36,083 ♪ All the time, you could blame it on my mind ♪ 810 00:35:36,166 --> 00:35:38,041 ♪ Now I'm mad ♪ 811 00:35:38,125 --> 00:35:40,333 ♪ I drive me mad ♪ 812 00:35:40,416 --> 00:35:42,625 ♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪