1 00:00:09,183 --> 00:00:10,880 Leaving so soon, cadet? 2 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:13,230 Sir, by statue 614 of the Alabama Legal Code, 3 00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:16,190 I am officially emancipated and considered an adult, 4 00:00:16,233 --> 00:00:17,756 an adult who no longer chooses 5 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,280 to attend Marlin Academy. 6 00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:21,195 I have copies of the documents here, 7 00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:22,674 if you want to see them again. 8 00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,546 Oh, no need. 9 00:00:24,589 --> 00:00:27,157 I'm sure that everything was done on the up-and-up. 10 00:00:28,245 --> 00:00:31,335 Let me tell you something, cadet. 11 00:00:31,379 --> 00:00:34,556 In all my years at this Academy, 12 00:00:34,599 --> 00:00:39,169 I have never had a student who was more bullheaded, 13 00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:42,477 more committed to avoid learning at all costs, 14 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:48,309 a cadet whose constant byword was "insubordination." 15 00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:51,660 Thank you, cadet. 16 00:00:51,703 --> 00:00:53,096 What? 17 00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:55,925 Before you came to this academy, 18 00:00:55,968 --> 00:01:00,538 I was bored, uninspired and this close to retiring, 19 00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:03,237 but your insolence and stupidity 20 00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,239 have been the irritating grain of sand 21 00:01:05,282 --> 00:01:09,765 around which has formed the pearl of my renaissance. 22 00:01:09,808 --> 00:01:12,376 I like me again. 23 00:01:12,420 --> 00:01:13,943 Cadet! 24 00:01:16,424 --> 00:01:20,863 As a thanks, I want you to have this. 25 00:01:24,171 --> 00:01:26,347 Normally, these are reserved 26 00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:27,739 for cadets who have distinguished themselves, 27 00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:30,525 or whose parents have donated a building, 28 00:01:30,568 --> 00:01:33,136 but you've left your mark here in your own way, 29 00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,486 so what the heck? 30 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:39,142 Wow. Sir, this is great. 31 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:40,796 Farewell, cadet. 32 00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:43,277 Thank you so much. Now, 33 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,452 careful, that's razor... 34 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,327 [bell dings] 35 00:01:54,375 --> 00:01:56,159 [sighs] 36 00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:59,554 ♪ Yes, no, maybe 37 00:01:59,597 --> 00:02:02,296 ♪ I don't know 38 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:05,429 ♪ Can you repeat the question? 39 00:02:05,473 --> 00:02:07,823 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 40 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:10,259 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 41 00:02:10,304 --> 00:02:12,567 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 42 00:02:12,610 --> 00:02:14,656 ♪ And you're not so big 43 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,049 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 44 00:02:17,093 --> 00:02:19,313 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 45 00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,576 ♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪ 46 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:24,361 ♪ And you're not so big 47 00:02:24,405 --> 00:02:29,192 ♪ Life is unfair. 48 00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:32,413 Normally, I dread the first day of school. 49 00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:34,241 My mom's been on such a rampage about Francis, 50 00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:36,808 it's actually a relief to get out of the house. 51 00:02:36,852 --> 00:02:38,288 Thank God! 52 00:02:38,332 --> 00:02:41,073 Summer's over. 53 00:02:41,117 --> 00:02:42,466 REESE: Hello, babies. 54 00:02:42,510 --> 00:02:44,381 How's baby school, babies? 55 00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:46,818 Didn't high school start, like, a half hour ago? 56 00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:48,211 Hey, if I'm on time today 57 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:49,908 they're going to expect it every day. 58 00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:52,215 Ow! Ow! Ow! 59 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,217 Hi, Reese. This is Gus. 60 00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:55,871 He's in the lead 61 00:02:55,914 --> 00:02:58,656 to replace you as school bully. 62 00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,919 He gives a wedgie that'll knock your socks off. 63 00:03:00,963 --> 00:03:02,094 I'm not just saying that 64 00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:03,618 'cause he's got me in a headlock. 65 00:03:03,661 --> 00:03:05,794 If you grab your wrist instead of your fingers, 66 00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,099 you'll get better leverage. 67 00:03:07,143 --> 00:03:09,450 You listen to him. He's the man. 68 00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,103 [grunts] 69 00:03:13,976 --> 00:03:15,847 I've completed the research on our new teacher, 70 00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,458 if anyone's interested. 71 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:23,290 Lionel Herkabe, born July 8, 1963. 72 00:03:23,333 --> 00:03:25,074 Parents-- John and Ida. 73 00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:26,815 Notice anything? 74 00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,860 He was a Krelboyne. 75 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:30,471 We won't have to talk down to him. 76 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:33,735 Finally, someone who knows our pain. 77 00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:36,651 "Bentley Gifted High, Princeton, Harvard Business." 78 00:03:36,694 --> 00:03:38,261 What's this guy doing teaching? 79 00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,481 Well, there was some unpleasantness. 80 00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:44,485 He quit a government think tank to start a dot-com. 81 00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:46,704 [all groan][whistles] 82 00:03:46,748 --> 00:03:49,141 One-time net worth $200 million, 83 00:03:49,185 --> 00:03:50,882 Now $137. 84 00:03:50,926 --> 00:03:52,971 [gasping] 85 00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:55,539 Here he comes! Here he comes! 86 00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,672 Hurry up. 87 00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,282 Get out of my way. 88 00:04:23,828 --> 00:04:25,308 Who's Dabney? 89 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:26,527 That's me, sir. 90 00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:29,007 I took the liberty of ordering you a decaf soy latte. 91 00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,183 Let me guess. 92 00:04:31,227 --> 00:04:34,665 Emotionally needy, closet bed-wetter... 93 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:37,494 you get no affection at home so you'll be seeking it from me. 94 00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,627 Look elsewhere, son. 95 00:04:41,063 --> 00:04:43,457 Who's the anal-retentive outsider? 96 00:04:44,414 --> 00:04:48,418 With repressed matricidal tendencies? 97 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:51,073 It was from me, sir! Please, stop. 98 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,119 As you may or may not know, 99 00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:56,470 I was once one of you... a Krelboyne, 100 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,167 and I'm sure I would have made the same 101 00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:00,212 lame attempt to ingratiate myself 102 00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:03,259 to the new, soft-headed thickwit teaching my class. 103 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,913 Oh, yes, I've been there. 104 00:05:04,956 --> 00:05:07,437 I have been coddled and preened. 105 00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,918 "Oh, you're a genius. You can do anything 106 00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,049 "you set your mind to. 107 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:14,009 It must be so easy being you." 108 00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:14,966 Well, bull ...! 109 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:16,751 [all gasp] 110 00:05:16,794 --> 00:05:20,581 All that gets you is an ex-wife and $14 million in debt. 111 00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,713 Now I refuse to let you fall into the trap 112 00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:23,932 society has set for you. 113 00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,803 Playtime is over children. 114 00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:28,066 You've had a free ride so far. 115 00:05:28,110 --> 00:05:30,808 It's about time somebody motivated you, challenged you, 116 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,941 tested your mental limits. 117 00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,029 Granted, I don't have 118 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,378 a teaching certificate 119 00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:36,640 from a two-year community college 120 00:05:36,684 --> 00:05:39,077 like most of the people I was forced to say hello to 121 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,818 this morning in the teachers lounge, 122 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,430 but, you know, I'm just going to try to muddle through 123 00:05:43,473 --> 00:05:46,041 with my double doctorate from Harvard. 124 00:05:46,084 --> 00:05:48,217 This is a test. 125 00:05:48,260 --> 00:05:49,653 Correct. You have 20 minutes. 126 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,655 There are six essay questions. 127 00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:54,658 I'm sorry. I thought this was the gifted class. 128 00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:55,877 Begin! 129 00:06:09,151 --> 00:06:10,674 Thanks for the ride. 130 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:12,807 Are you sure about this Alaska thing? 131 00:06:12,850 --> 00:06:14,025 Oh, absolutely. 132 00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:15,070 I don't know. 133 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,550 I heard Alaska's supposed to be a hole. 134 00:06:16,593 --> 00:06:17,594 Are you kidding? 135 00:06:17,638 --> 00:06:19,248 Cruise ships go up there. 136 00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,076 Only for about six weeks in the summer. 137 00:06:21,119 --> 00:06:22,773 Isn't it dark there the rest of the year? 138 00:06:22,817 --> 00:06:25,472 I don't have to justify myself to you. 139 00:06:25,515 --> 00:06:27,778 I don't have to justify myself to anyone. 140 00:06:27,822 --> 00:06:29,476 That's why I got emancipated, okay? 141 00:06:29,519 --> 00:06:31,129 Okay. 142 00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:33,349 Good luck with your parents. 143 00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:35,090 Yeah, well, they had a week to think about it. 144 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:36,352 We'll see how they take it. 145 00:06:37,614 --> 00:06:39,877 [growling] 146 00:06:41,313 --> 00:06:42,576 [shrieks] 147 00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:44,447 You...! 148 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:48,712 [screaming][growling] 149 00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:50,366 You ungrateful son of a...! 150 00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:55,893 This wasn't meant to hurt you! 151 00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,374 After all we've done! 152 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,078 [screams] 153 00:07:13,868 --> 00:07:16,348 All I'm saying is that you can get your diploma first 154 00:07:16,392 --> 00:07:17,741 and then do what you want. 155 00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:20,527 It's all about maximizing your options, 156 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,703 taking the long view. 157 00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:25,053 Sorry about using "The Closer." 158 00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:26,097 Nonsense. 159 00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,621 I wouldn't have taught it to you 160 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:28,839 if I didn't want you to use it. 161 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,188 Listen, what do I always say? 162 00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:31,189 "The nards are fair game." 163 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:34,410 The nards are fair game. 164 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,890 Look, sometimes you're presented 165 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,544 with an opportunity that you just can't pass up. 166 00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:39,546 I hope you understand. 167 00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:40,677 I'm not the one you have to worry about. 168 00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,070 I know. And I want 169 00:07:42,113 --> 00:07:43,375 to get this straight with Mom. 170 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,160 That's why I came here. 171 00:07:45,203 --> 00:07:46,509 Okay then. 172 00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:47,684 Honey? 173 00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:52,341 Um, your son has something to say to you. 174 00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:55,779 Huh? I didn't know 175 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,607 the Hendersons painted their house. 176 00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:06,573 [bell ringing] 177 00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,665 Well, I have your test results. 178 00:08:11,708 --> 00:08:12,796 You all got As. 179 00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,974 But, since this is the giftedclass, 180 00:08:17,018 --> 00:08:20,108 I also factored in cogency of argument, 181 00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:21,675 economy of language 182 00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:25,417 and penmanship, which enabled me to do this. 183 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:27,550 What is that? 184 00:08:27,594 --> 00:08:28,812 A ranking board. 185 00:08:28,856 --> 00:08:30,597 But I thought you said we all got As. 186 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:31,554 Oh, you did. 187 00:08:31,598 --> 00:08:34,601 But some of you got better As than others. 188 00:08:34,644 --> 00:08:36,645 But we all still have As? 189 00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,561 Of course. 190 00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,171 So, what does being number one get you? 191 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:41,695 Nothing. 192 00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:44,001 Just the knowledge that you... 193 00:08:44,044 --> 00:08:45,699 are number one. 194 00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,483 Or that you are not... 195 00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:48,745 number one. 196 00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:51,792 Yes, Number Five. 197 00:08:51,835 --> 00:08:53,358 It's Dabney, sir. 198 00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:54,795 I know. What is it, Number Five? 199 00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,840 I forgot. 200 00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:02,411 What... a jerk. 201 00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,239 Is that what we're going to turn out like? 202 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,154 If I ever start acting like that, 203 00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,982 you have to promise to kill me. 204 00:09:08,025 --> 00:09:10,158 No, no more death pacts. 205 00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:11,725 Don't worry about it. 206 00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:12,987 The only way that stupid board 207 00:09:13,030 --> 00:09:15,032 can have an effect on us is if we let it. 208 00:09:15,076 --> 00:09:16,512 Those numbers mean nothing. 209 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:19,776 What are... 210 00:09:19,820 --> 00:09:20,995 you doing? 211 00:09:21,038 --> 00:09:22,649 Nothing. 212 00:09:22,692 --> 00:09:24,302 You were studying? 213 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:25,477 No, I wasn't. 214 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:28,132 My book just fell open to this page. 215 00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:32,833 You know, I'm really not hungry. 216 00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:36,314 I think I left my recess stuff in my locker. 217 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,971 Oh, my God, high school is awesome. 218 00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:43,626 They have an entire room just for detention. 219 00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,628 They put you in with juniors and seniors. 220 00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,325 Some of them have records. 221 00:09:47,369 --> 00:09:49,501 It's really inspiring. 222 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,503 What are you looking at? 223 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:52,679 Francis. 224 00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,855 He's still out there? 225 00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:56,770 Yeah, he's eating out of the bird feeder. 226 00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:58,293 LOIS: Whose shoes are these? 227 00:09:58,336 --> 00:10:00,861 Who left their shoes in the living room? 228 00:10:00,904 --> 00:10:02,253 Those are mine-- I'm sorry. 229 00:10:02,297 --> 00:10:03,559 You're right you're sorry. 230 00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:04,647 Leaving your shoes around like you, 231 00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:06,910 like you don't even care about them. 232 00:10:06,954 --> 00:10:09,086 I hope you like walking to school in your socks! 233 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,914 I said I'm sorry. 234 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,524 Well, I've heard sorry before. 235 00:10:12,568 --> 00:10:13,830 I don't think so. 236 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:16,877 Okay, tell you what we're going to do. 237 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,705 From now on, 238 00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:20,315 when you want to wear shoes, 239 00:10:20,358 --> 00:10:21,664 you check them out. 240 00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,361 Sign them in, sign them out. 241 00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:25,625 Just like a library. 242 00:10:28,062 --> 00:10:29,759 Clean up those toys! 243 00:10:31,587 --> 00:10:33,720 [knocking] 244 00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,470 Oh, thanks. 245 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,907 It is freezing out there. 246 00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:47,734 Hey, it's good to see you guys. 247 00:10:47,777 --> 00:10:48,909 I really missed you. 248 00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:50,040 [grunts] 249 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,912 What was that for? 250 00:10:51,955 --> 00:10:53,130 Emancipation? 251 00:10:53,174 --> 00:10:55,176 What, you're divorcing the family now? 252 00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:56,960 How could you do this to Mom? 253 00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,528 She left me no choice. 254 00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:00,834 Ow! 255 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,705 We've done a lot of bad things to Mom, 256 00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,576 but we would never abandon her. 257 00:11:04,620 --> 00:11:05,926 I'm not abandoning her. 258 00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:07,754 I'm just going to Alaska. 259 00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,538 That's 5,000 miles away. 260 00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:10,931 It is not... 261 00:11:10,974 --> 00:11:12,106 5,000 miles, are you serious? 262 00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:13,803 Oh, my God, it's going 263 00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,587 to take me forever to get up there. 264 00:11:15,631 --> 00:11:16,806 Then don't go. 265 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,112 Guys, you have to understand. 266 00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:19,896 I'm not doing this to hurt anybody. 267 00:11:19,940 --> 00:11:21,637 I just... I really think 268 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,161 this is my best chance to make something of myself. 269 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:25,380 Tell it to Mom. 270 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:27,208 I can't, she won't talk to me. 271 00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:28,775 She is being so immature. 272 00:11:28,818 --> 00:11:32,387 In the meantime, I'm stuck outside in the freezing cold. 273 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,782 Would it be all right if I slept in here tonight? 274 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:41,744 Certainly, the whale 275 00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:44,138 represents the search for God... 276 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,792 but that could be limiting. 277 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:47,315 We could say it was 278 00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,969 the search for the self. 279 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:49,926 Melville could be 280 00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,928 considered a pre-existentialist. 281 00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:55,976 But you can't deny 282 00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:58,239 that the whale could also be the search for truth 283 00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,023 which has been a theme throughout 284 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:00,807 his whole oeuvre. 285 00:12:05,637 --> 00:12:09,990 But we can't overlook the fact that it is an actual whale, 286 00:12:10,033 --> 00:12:12,427 which was the biggest industry in the 19th century. 287 00:12:12,470 --> 00:12:13,820 The oil was used in lamps, 288 00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,865 soaps and even cosmetics. 289 00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:22,916 Today, whaling is outlawed, but many Aleutian islanders 290 00:12:22,959 --> 00:12:27,007 are legally allowed to harvest whales 291 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,270 for ritual purposes. 292 00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,447 But I digress! 293 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,405 [whimpering] 294 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:38,018 Wow, nine places. 295 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:39,628 That's got to be a record. 296 00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:43,066 Okay, on to new business. 297 00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,460 This Friday, Principal Littledove 298 00:12:45,503 --> 00:12:47,941 will be dropping by for a little evaluation. 299 00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:50,378 I think he'll be very impressed with what he sees. 300 00:12:50,421 --> 00:12:52,946 I don't think he'll understand it, 301 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,035 but I think his tiny brain 302 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,820 will have the dim perception of the progress you can make 303 00:12:57,864 --> 00:13:01,824 when students are properly motivated. 304 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,913 Now, who would like to sink their teeth 305 00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,262 into some Bernoulli equations? 306 00:13:10,006 --> 00:13:11,268 Come on, guys. 307 00:13:11,312 --> 00:13:12,443 Look at yourselves. 308 00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,749 If we don't let those 309 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,707 stupid rankings get to us, they mean nothing. 310 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:18,188 Easy for you to say, Number One. 311 00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,494 I have a name. 312 00:13:19,537 --> 00:13:21,104 We all have names! 313 00:13:21,148 --> 00:13:23,977 Oh, my God, I can't remember mine! 314 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,587 MALCOLM: This is ridiculous! 315 00:13:25,630 --> 00:13:28,416 School used to be the one place where you were truly happy, 316 00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:30,374 and Herkabe has taken that away from you. 317 00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:32,202 That stupid board 318 00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:33,203 is ruining our lives. 319 00:13:33,247 --> 00:13:34,422 We can't let him do that. 320 00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:37,338 What choice... do we have? 321 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,906 We have the choice that people have had for centuries. 322 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,212 We can choose to fail. 323 00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,866 Like the French? 324 00:13:43,910 --> 00:13:47,914 You mean... we tank... today's test? 325 00:13:47,957 --> 00:13:50,046 No, we don't tank it. 326 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:51,787 We nuke it. 327 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,268 Every answer wrong. 328 00:13:54,311 --> 00:13:55,965 No complete sentences. 329 00:13:56,009 --> 00:13:57,880 No punctuation. 330 00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:00,883 And we use number three pencils. 331 00:14:00,927 --> 00:14:01,710 [gasping] 332 00:14:01,753 --> 00:14:03,016 You can't rank zeros! 333 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:04,147 That's brilliant! 334 00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,235 He'll have no choice 335 00:14:05,279 --> 00:14:07,107 but to throw out his stupid system! 336 00:14:07,150 --> 00:14:09,022 We'll be free! 337 00:14:09,065 --> 00:14:11,415 [cheering] 338 00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:18,118 I'm very disappointed in you. 339 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,772 Everyone else, nice job. 340 00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,050 [softly]: I'm sorry. 341 00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,182 [softly]: I'm sorry. 342 00:14:39,226 --> 00:14:40,314 I tried. 343 00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:42,359 My hand wouldn't let me. 344 00:14:42,403 --> 00:14:45,536 I regret... 345 00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:47,016 nothing. 346 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:49,018 Interesting gambit, but I guess 347 00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:51,934 the Lemmings didn't follow you off the cliff. 348 00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:54,154 When you've spent some time in the real world, 349 00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:57,984 you'll realize you can't fight the system, and now... 350 00:14:58,027 --> 00:14:59,681 I'mthe system. 351 00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:13,173 [exasperated sigh] 352 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,786 Don't worry, I just let the air out. 353 00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:20,049 We can talk while I put on your spare. 354 00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:22,008 Look, I'm sorry I had to resort to this, 355 00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:25,359 but you have to give me five minutes so we can talk. 356 00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:26,360 [engine starts] 357 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:27,317 [music blaring] 358 00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,580 [yelling]: I can talk over the music! 359 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,801 You can't drive on a flat! 360 00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:36,283 You're going to ruin your rims! 361 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:40,417 [tires squealing] 362 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,637 That was a red light! 363 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,640 You might want to notice 364 00:15:45,683 --> 00:15:48,991 my entire opening paragraph is a palindrome. 365 00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,993 You might want to notice... 366 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,126 my formatting. 367 00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,132 What's this? 368 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,656 A study of irrigation techniques of pre-Roman society and how 369 00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:04,006 they led to the advancement of Western civilization. 370 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:07,227 I thought we were just studying Mesopotamian farming techniques. 371 00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:08,228 We were. 372 00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:10,012 I just used that as a jumping-off point. 373 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,710 I saw how their influences spread through the Egyptians, 374 00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:15,931 the Carthaginians, basically through the whole ancient world. 375 00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,064 I think you'll be very happy with this paper. 376 00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:20,588 Very nice, Number Twelve. 377 00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:24,200 It's nice to see a little effort put forth 378 00:16:24,244 --> 00:16:29,118 while some are content to do the absolute minimum. 379 00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:35,255 So... he wants... to play. 380 00:16:35,298 --> 00:16:37,605 Oh, we'll play all right. 381 00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,042 What is it we're playing? 382 00:16:40,086 --> 00:16:44,003 ♪ 383 00:17:11,204 --> 00:17:14,381 ♪ 384 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,367 Okay, I think we're ready 385 00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:46,152 to show Principal Littledove 386 00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:49,372 what the right kind of motivation can accomplish. 387 00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,766 Well done, class. 388 00:17:56,205 --> 00:18:00,035 You know, maybe we should just put our heads down 389 00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:03,082 and take a rest for a moment, shall we? 390 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,000 Yes, One-to-the-Eleventh? 391 00:18:09,044 --> 00:18:11,394 Did you know I can count to a million by prime numbers? 392 00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:12,917 I can, too! 393 00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:15,137 So can I! It's easy. 394 00:18:15,181 --> 00:18:16,399 That's not necessary. 395 00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:19,794 2, 3, 5, 7, 11... 396 00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,709 13, 17, 19... 397 00:18:21,752 --> 00:18:23,928 [frantically]: 23, 29, 31. 398 00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,713 Now by hundreds! 399 00:18:25,756 --> 00:18:31,197 101, 211, 307, 401, 503, 601... 400 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:32,198 DABNEY: 7! 401 00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:35,157 7! No! 402 00:18:35,201 --> 00:18:37,377 Okay, that is enough, One-to-the-Eleventh. 403 00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:39,248 By thousands! 1,009... 404 00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:40,293 2,003... 405 00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:41,163 Now back by hundreds! 406 00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:43,209 2,111, 2,203... 407 00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:44,210 2... 11... 408 00:18:44,253 --> 00:18:46,212 No! 409 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:47,648 Where are you going, Number Three? 410 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:48,866 It's hot. 411 00:18:48,910 --> 00:18:51,826 It's hot and I'm stupid! 412 00:18:51,869 --> 00:18:54,263 I'm stupid, too! 413 00:18:54,307 --> 00:18:55,264 [screaming] 414 00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,353 Everybody, please remain seated! 415 00:18:58,093 --> 00:18:59,660 I'm Zero! 416 00:19:00,835 --> 00:19:03,359 Zero-to-the-Zeroth! 417 00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:05,318 [screaming] 418 00:19:06,232 --> 00:19:08,930 [screaming] 419 00:19:15,502 --> 00:19:17,373 I'm nothing! 420 00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:20,333 I'm invisible! 421 00:19:20,376 --> 00:19:21,595 [whistles] 422 00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:24,250 Boy, that's quite a show for your first week here. 423 00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:27,644 You were right, you can't beat the system, 424 00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:29,951 but you sure can break it. 425 00:19:33,955 --> 00:19:35,565 I love you guys. 426 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:38,351 I'll write you when I get there, okay? 427 00:19:38,394 --> 00:19:40,048 Someday, when you come back 428 00:19:40,091 --> 00:19:44,313 and you're unemployed and have no place to live, 429 00:19:44,357 --> 00:19:47,403 you can come stay at my castle. 430 00:19:48,970 --> 00:19:50,972 Thanks, bud. 431 00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:53,279 He's leaving. 432 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:55,281 He just wants to talk to you. 433 00:19:55,324 --> 00:19:57,283 Just hear him out. 434 00:19:57,326 --> 00:20:00,242 Lois, this... this has got to stop. 435 00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:02,026 He's going very far away 436 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:05,204 and you're not going to see him for a very long time. 437 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:09,251 Honey, there are moments in life 438 00:20:09,295 --> 00:20:13,124 that you just don't get back, and I know you. 439 00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,475 If you do not deal with this now, 440 00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:17,781 it will haunt you forever. 441 00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,308 Fine. 442 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:27,313 I've lost a son but gained a baby. 443 00:20:30,011 --> 00:20:32,056 I tried. 444 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:34,320 I know. 445 00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:42,502 Are you sure this is what you want? 446 00:20:42,545 --> 00:20:45,722 Well, it'd better be. 447 00:20:47,376 --> 00:20:49,030 LOIS: Francis. 448 00:20:59,954 --> 00:21:01,695 I'm listening. 449 00:21:04,219 --> 00:21:05,438 This is what you get! 450 00:21:05,481 --> 00:21:07,962 This is what you get for the way you treated me! 451 00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:11,313 I'm going to Alaska and you're going to be left without a son! 452 00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:13,315 And the horrible way you treated me 453 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:14,795 is now a matter of public record! 454 00:21:14,838 --> 00:21:16,753 LOIS: I treated you?! 455 00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,929 We've made sacrifice after sacrifice for you 456 00:21:18,973 --> 00:21:20,583 and you've caused us nothing but pain! 457 00:21:20,627 --> 00:21:22,585 You want pain?! I've got your scars, baby! 458 00:21:22,629 --> 00:21:24,195 3h years in that horrible school... 459 00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:26,023 We went without for that school! 460 00:21:26,067 --> 00:21:26,981 Oh! 461 00:21:27,024 --> 00:21:28,722 Oh! Maybe I should thank you! 462 00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:31,942 Thank you, Mother, for making my life a living hell! 463 00:21:31,986 --> 00:21:33,248 Living hell?! You've been nothing 464 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:35,163 but a problem since the day you were born. 465 00:21:35,206 --> 00:21:37,208 Your problems are over, lady, 'cause I'm out of here!