1
00:01:01,250 --> 00:01:02,874
Hey, how many boyfriends
have you had?
2
00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:05,997
Come on. Think about it really hard.
3
00:01:06,088 --> 00:01:08,543
- 10.
- No. She's lying.
4
00:01:08,632 --> 00:01:10,392
Give her a few seconds
to think something up.
5
00:01:10,467 --> 00:01:12,294
- David's staring at you.
- Boys!
6
00:01:12,386 --> 00:01:15,671
- David's staring at you.
- No. He's staring at me, you guys.
7
00:01:15,764 --> 00:01:18,337
He's staring at me. Please admit it.
He's staring at me.
8
00:01:18,433 --> 00:01:19,678
He's so cute.
9
00:01:19,768 --> 00:01:22,140
If you were 16
and you were out on a date with him
10
00:01:22,229 --> 00:01:24,387
- would you do it with him?
- That's gross!
11
00:01:24,481 --> 00:01:25,596
It's not gross, Marcy.
12
00:01:25,691 --> 00:01:27,897
Then you'll never have any kids, Rachel.
13
00:01:27,985 --> 00:01:29,894
Yes, I will. I'll adopt them.
14
00:01:29,987 --> 00:01:32,110
I'll just do it once, just to get pregnant.
15
00:01:32,197 --> 00:01:34,237
Don't you have to do it, like, every night?
16
00:01:34,324 --> 00:01:37,076
I love you. Kiss me.
17
00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,703
I do, too!
18
00:01:41,957 --> 00:01:44,246
- Gross.
- What?
19
00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:45,829
Tina farted.
20
00:06:28,118 --> 00:06:30,656
- Jill.
- The sitter came in an hour early.
21
00:06:30,746 --> 00:06:33,996
- Great. Here, let me take this.
- Thank you. Hey!
22
00:06:34,416 --> 00:06:37,037
- Come talk to me while I get dressed.
- Okay.
23
00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:41,419
Where the hell are my shoes?
24
00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:43,546
So how are you and Chris doing?
25
00:06:44,134 --> 00:06:47,420
Well, it's weird. I feel really guilty,
but there's this guy at work
26
00:06:47,512 --> 00:06:49,220
that I'm sort of attracted to.
27
00:06:49,306 --> 00:06:54,182
- Seriously? Who is he?
- It's so stupid. He's my sous chef.
28
00:06:54,478 --> 00:06:56,767
- Did anything happen?
- No, of course not.
29
00:06:56,855 --> 00:07:00,189
It's just that Chris is so goddamn
possessive, it's making me crazy.
30
00:07:00,275 --> 00:07:02,482
Listen, I wish Don was possessive.
31
00:07:02,819 --> 00:07:05,275
- You look really pretty.
- Thanks.
32
00:07:05,822 --> 00:07:09,357
Oh, this cake is gorgeous.
33
00:07:09,451 --> 00:07:12,950
Chris stayed late at the bakery last night
to make it for the party.
34
00:07:13,038 --> 00:07:14,829
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah.
35
00:07:15,082 --> 00:07:18,664
Doesn't seem that long since we were
having Jamie's last bachelorette party.
36
00:07:18,752 --> 00:07:20,127
It wasn't.
37
00:07:20,671 --> 00:07:22,996
Can you cut some limes for me?
38
00:07:23,423 --> 00:07:24,943
Can I give Tina Two a piece of cheese?
39
00:07:25,008 --> 00:07:26,289
That is Tina Three.
40
00:07:26,385 --> 00:07:30,881
I'm sorry. Hello, Tina Three.
You need a new pink bow, don't you?
41
00:07:30,973 --> 00:07:32,467
Where's your sister?
42
00:07:32,558 --> 00:07:35,642
Oh, probably terrorizing the staff
at Nordstrom's.
43
00:07:35,727 --> 00:07:37,352
Have a knife?
44
00:07:37,479 --> 00:07:41,393
How is it that somebody with an MBA
ended up being a personnel director?
45
00:07:41,483 --> 00:07:44,817
I wish she'd just quit that job
or stop complaining.
46
00:07:46,321 --> 00:07:48,444
Oh, do not tell her I'm pregnant.
47
00:07:48,532 --> 00:07:49,860
Why?
48
00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:52,275
She had to go to
two baby showers last week.
49
00:07:52,369 --> 00:07:54,658
She almost slit her wrists.
50
00:07:54,746 --> 00:07:57,202
She's already got
that old maid mentality.
51
00:07:57,291 --> 00:08:00,327
- She's up to four packs now.
- You are so mean.
52
00:08:00,419 --> 00:08:03,503
What are you talking about?
She's the judgemental one.
53
00:08:03,755 --> 00:08:06,128
- You are too hard on her, though.
- Are you kidding?
54
00:08:06,216 --> 00:08:08,707
She's picked on me
since the day I was born.
55
00:08:08,802 --> 00:08:11,756
She got the Barbie Dream House.
I wasn't allowed to touch it.
56
00:08:11,847 --> 00:08:14,172
She got the canopy bed.
I couldn't even sit on it.
57
00:08:14,266 --> 00:08:16,009
She said my butt was stinky.
58
00:08:16,101 --> 00:08:17,726
- Listen to you.
- What?
59
00:08:17,811 --> 00:08:19,471
Hello! Anybody here?
60
00:08:19,730 --> 00:08:23,644
- Speaking of stinky butts.
- We're back here, Rachel.
61
00:08:27,112 --> 00:08:29,401
Somebody raided
the accessories department.
62
00:08:29,489 --> 00:08:33,867
50% off with employee discount.
I hope you weren't talking about me.
63
00:08:34,077 --> 00:08:37,328
- That's a bit paranoid isn't it?
- I brought my own pillow.
64
00:08:37,414 --> 00:08:40,201
- You look great.
- Really? I'm exhausted.
65
00:08:43,086 --> 00:08:45,044
- Did you start smoking again?
- Of course not.
66
00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:47,621
- I took my last patch off a week ago.
- Your hair reeks.
67
00:08:47,716 --> 00:08:49,459
Well, other people smoke
in the employee lounge.
68
00:08:49,551 --> 00:08:52,422
- Is that my fault?
- All right. Fine. I just asked.
69
00:08:52,512 --> 00:08:56,842
- Look at all these goodies!
- "Goodies." Oh, I hate that word.
70
00:08:56,934 --> 00:09:01,596
- I'll make a note of that.
- Sorry. I'm... tired.
71
00:09:02,314 --> 00:09:03,808
- How's Noah?
- Great.
72
00:09:03,941 --> 00:09:05,767
- Don?
- Fabulous.
73
00:09:06,818 --> 00:09:07,898
Good.
74
00:09:08,111 --> 00:09:11,065
Why don't you two both go outside?
I'll bring some margaritas.
75
00:09:11,156 --> 00:09:14,240
I want you both in a good mood
before Jamie gets here.
76
00:09:14,451 --> 00:09:16,776
Please, she's really
looking forward to this.
77
00:09:16,870 --> 00:09:19,492
- I'd love a drink.
- Ginger ale for me.
78
00:09:30,801 --> 00:09:34,633
- That's a pretty blouse. Silk?
- Viscose.
79
00:09:36,348 --> 00:09:38,673
It's Italian.
80
00:09:39,685 --> 00:09:42,520
It's old. I was gonna give it away.
Would you like it?
81
00:09:42,604 --> 00:09:47,350
- No, thanks. It's more you.
- Just thought I'd ask.
82
00:09:50,028 --> 00:09:53,480
You two look so pretty. Here. Move in.
83
00:09:54,908 --> 00:09:56,450
Great.
84
00:09:59,288 --> 00:10:00,616
- Where's Marcy?
- I don't know.
85
00:10:00,706 --> 00:10:01,951
She's bringing guacamole.
86
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,499
She's probably in bed
with her house painter.
87
00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:04,959
- What?
- Marcy's having a relationship
88
00:10:05,043 --> 00:10:07,036
- with her house painter?
- No. She's just fucking him.
89
00:10:07,129 --> 00:10:08,706
- But she's engaged to Mark.
- No, she's not.
90
00:10:08,797 --> 00:10:09,997
- Not anymore.
- What happened?
91
00:10:10,007 --> 00:10:12,379
She sent that painter over here
to give me an estimate.
92
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:13,962
She didn't tell me
she was sleeping with him.
93
00:10:14,052 --> 00:10:15,297
They have wild, kinky sex.
94
00:10:15,387 --> 00:10:17,261
- Marcy?
- What happened to Mark, Jill?
95
00:10:17,347 --> 00:10:19,506
Oh, you guys are out here.
96
00:10:20,434 --> 00:10:21,892
- Marcy.
- Marcy.
97
00:10:21,977 --> 00:10:24,183
- What? What?
- Nothing.
98
00:10:24,271 --> 00:10:25,813
- Are those new glasses?
- Great shoes. Great shoes.
99
00:10:25,898 --> 00:10:26,929
- Thank you.
- They're really nice.
100
00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:28,103
Hi.
101
00:10:28,191 --> 00:10:30,350
- Let me get you a drink.
- Thanks. I could use one.
102
00:10:30,444 --> 00:10:34,109
- What's wrong?
- It's kind of a long story.
103
00:10:34,197 --> 00:10:35,277
So?
104
00:10:35,407 --> 00:10:36,985
- Oh, thank you.
- Oh, wait.
105
00:10:37,242 --> 00:10:39,650
You look so pretty in that dress.
106
00:10:42,039 --> 00:10:43,284
Thanks.
107
00:10:45,417 --> 00:10:48,418
So, I've sort of been,
108
00:10:48,795 --> 00:10:51,999
well, seeing the guy
who painted my house.
109
00:10:52,090 --> 00:10:54,249
- Really?
- Jill was just telling us.
110
00:10:55,719 --> 00:10:58,803
- Jill?
- I didn't know it was a big secret.
111
00:10:58,889 --> 00:10:59,968
So what's wrong?
112
00:11:00,057 --> 00:11:02,382
I thought he was a really nice guy
at first, you know?
113
00:11:02,476 --> 00:11:05,014
I mean, not exactly marriage material
114
00:11:05,103 --> 00:11:09,018
but sweet and really, well, sexy.
115
00:11:09,358 --> 00:11:12,275
Anyway, he started acting kind of weird
the last week or so
116
00:11:12,361 --> 00:11:13,819
and I finally had to tell him,
117
00:11:13,904 --> 00:11:16,609
- "Look, Randy"...
- Oh, God, I hate that name, "Randy".
118
00:11:16,698 --> 00:11:18,490
- It's so white trash.
- Yeah.
119
00:11:18,575 --> 00:11:21,991
- He has a twin sister named Brandy.
- No, you've got to be kidding.
120
00:11:22,079 --> 00:11:23,407
Anyway, anyway...
121
00:11:23,497 --> 00:11:25,074
- This is good guacamole.
- Oh, thanks.
122
00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:26,825
Anyway, so go on.
Finally you had to tell him...
123
00:11:26,917 --> 00:11:30,582
Yeah, that he's a nice guy and all,
but he's not my boyfriend
124
00:11:30,671 --> 00:11:32,959
- and he never will be.
- So what did he say?
125
00:11:33,048 --> 00:11:34,791
I couldn't believe it. He just freaked out.
126
00:11:34,883 --> 00:11:37,125
He's been acting
really possessive lately,
127
00:11:37,219 --> 00:11:38,417
you know, like he owns me.
128
00:11:38,512 --> 00:11:41,596
And all of a sudden he wants to know
everything I do every minute of the day.
129
00:11:41,682 --> 00:11:43,802
And then yesterday,
I told him I felt like being alone
130
00:11:43,850 --> 00:11:46,472
and he accused me
of seeing someone else.
131
00:11:46,562 --> 00:11:48,887
Which I'm not, but it's
none of his business if I was, you know?
132
00:11:48,981 --> 00:11:50,439
I mean I have no commitment to him.
133
00:11:50,524 --> 00:11:52,813
And here's the really creepy part.
134
00:11:54,361 --> 00:11:56,188
When I went out to my car last night,
135
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,949
I saw his El Camino
parked down the street
136
00:11:59,199 --> 00:12:01,026
with him just sitting in it.
137
00:12:01,118 --> 00:12:02,695
He was spying on me.
138
00:12:04,371 --> 00:12:07,123
- A bee!
- It's all right. It's gone now.
139
00:12:13,213 --> 00:12:15,502
What? I'm allergic.
140
00:12:15,591 --> 00:12:17,049
So, did you call the police?
141
00:12:17,134 --> 00:12:19,292
Oh, they won't do anything.
142
00:12:19,386 --> 00:12:23,550
Remember that woman who reported
that her ex-husband was stalking her?
143
00:12:23,724 --> 00:12:26,179
Then he massacred the whole family
at the barbecue.
144
00:12:26,268 --> 00:12:29,138
I mean, the police didn't do anything
until after he slaughtered them.
145
00:12:29,229 --> 00:12:31,637
Oh, my God. I am so stupid.
146
00:12:32,149 --> 00:12:35,233
I mean, why did I ever get involved with
him? I always pick the wrong people.
147
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,433
Is he cute?
148
00:12:36,528 --> 00:12:38,936
Wait. I have a picture of him.
149
00:12:39,031 --> 00:12:40,525
- What?
- You photographed him?
150
00:12:40,616 --> 00:12:41,896
No.
151
00:12:42,826 --> 00:12:45,946
You know, at first,
I thought he was really sexy,
152
00:12:46,288 --> 00:12:47,948
but now he looks
kind of psychotic to me.
153
00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:49,534
You know, kind of Robert De Niro-ish.
154
00:12:49,625 --> 00:12:52,709
Will somebody please
tell me what happened with Mark?
155
00:12:53,003 --> 00:12:55,494
Didn't I tell you? We broke up.
156
00:12:55,631 --> 00:12:58,585
- Why?
- Oh, it's such a terrible story.
157
00:13:00,719 --> 00:13:02,877
- Oh, my God.
- He puts his picture on everything,
158
00:13:02,971 --> 00:13:06,969
his invoice, his business cards.
It's even on his El Camino.
159
00:13:07,059 --> 00:13:08,090
It's true.
160
00:13:08,185 --> 00:13:12,432
He looks a little cross-eyed.
Sort of inbred. Did he go to college?
161
00:13:12,564 --> 00:13:14,687
Well, at least you didn't marry Mark.
162
00:13:14,775 --> 00:13:18,060
I mean, look at Jamie. Three marriages,
and she's just now getting it right.
163
00:13:18,153 --> 00:13:20,146
Yeah, but at least she went out
and found a better guy.
164
00:13:20,239 --> 00:13:21,567
Let's just hope she found
a better dress, too.
165
00:13:21,657 --> 00:13:22,688
No kidding!
166
00:13:23,116 --> 00:13:24,397
Jerome's a doll, though.
167
00:13:24,493 --> 00:13:27,162
She says they have great sex,
said they do it constantly.
168
00:13:27,246 --> 00:13:29,997
Oh, you guys,
I had this picture blown up of her.
169
00:13:30,082 --> 00:13:32,407
I took it at their engagement dinner.
170
00:13:33,544 --> 00:13:37,162
I don't know why, but I have a
real hard time imagining Jerome naked.
171
00:13:37,256 --> 00:13:39,829
- Don't strain yourself.
- She really looks great.
172
00:13:39,925 --> 00:13:42,961
She's got the perfect body.
Look at those shoulders.
173
00:13:43,095 --> 00:13:45,337
Oh, you know, I was watching TV
late one night last week,
174
00:13:45,430 --> 00:13:46,462
because I couldn't sleep,
175
00:13:46,557 --> 00:13:48,597
and that movie came on,
the one she did in Mexico...
176
00:13:48,684 --> 00:13:50,475
- Tropical Maniac.
- Oh, that's right. That's right.
177
00:13:50,561 --> 00:13:52,767
So, there's Jamie
and she's standing there on the beach
178
00:13:52,854 --> 00:13:55,725
in a requisite bikini,
holding a machine gun. I'm telling you.
179
00:13:55,816 --> 00:13:57,496
She never gets sent out
for any good parts.
180
00:13:57,568 --> 00:13:58,730
What good parts?
181
00:13:58,819 --> 00:14:00,230
There are no good parts for women.
182
00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:02,400
Do you think it bothers her
that Jerome's going bald?
183
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:05,442
- She thinks it's sexy.
- I don't know, I like a little hair.
184
00:14:05,534 --> 00:14:09,401
Well, it's a good thing, considering
Don has it covering his entire body.
185
00:14:09,496 --> 00:14:11,453
I'm telling you, the last time
he was over here swimming
186
00:14:11,540 --> 00:14:13,414
I thought I was gonna have to change
our pool filter.
187
00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:14,959
Oh, now who's mean?
188
00:14:15,043 --> 00:14:17,534
Jerry seems very comfortable
with his masculinity.
189
00:14:17,629 --> 00:14:19,836
Yeah. I guess, considering.
190
00:14:22,676 --> 00:14:24,336
- What?
- Considering what?
191
00:14:24,511 --> 00:14:26,468
- What?
- I can't tell.
192
00:14:26,555 --> 00:14:27,676
- Oh, come on.
- No, I can't.
193
00:14:27,723 --> 00:14:29,217
Jamie made me swear on my life.
194
00:14:29,308 --> 00:14:31,265
- It's really not that big a deal.
- Something about Jerome?
195
00:14:31,351 --> 00:14:32,952
- Maybe.
- Jill, now you have to tell us.
196
00:14:32,978 --> 00:14:35,101
He only has one testicle.
197
00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:38,481
Isn't that funny?
198
00:14:39,526 --> 00:14:43,524
And he still has some semen,
so it's not like he's sterile or anything.
199
00:14:43,697 --> 00:14:44,977
Oh, my God.
200
00:14:45,073 --> 00:14:48,158
And he's certainly not impotent,
but can you imagine?
201
00:14:49,244 --> 00:14:50,442
Isn't that funny?
202
00:14:50,537 --> 00:14:52,364
Oh, it must look so weird.
203
00:14:53,123 --> 00:14:55,365
And he hates
for anyone to know about it.
204
00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,617
He didn't tell Jamie for the longest time.
205
00:14:57,711 --> 00:14:59,289
Wasn't it obvious?
206
00:14:59,379 --> 00:15:02,131
No. She just thought
he had really teeny balls.
207
00:15:03,884 --> 00:15:08,546
Anyway, do not repeat that information
about Jerome, please.
208
00:15:09,264 --> 00:15:13,048
I mean, it's not like it slows them down.
They have wild, kinky sex.
209
00:15:13,352 --> 00:15:16,851
- You say that about everybody.
- Like who else?
210
00:15:22,277 --> 00:15:26,820
- Jesus, Jill.
- I really didn't tell them anything.
211
00:15:27,366 --> 00:15:28,776
Never mind.
212
00:15:29,409 --> 00:15:32,613
So what do Jamie and Jerome do
that's so wild and kinky?
213
00:15:33,038 --> 00:15:35,790
Well, she would probably
tell you this herself...
214
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,783
What the hell's going on?
215
00:15:39,253 --> 00:15:40,332
- Jamie.
- Jamie.
216
00:15:40,420 --> 00:15:41,665
The front door's locked.
217
00:15:41,755 --> 00:15:45,456
- I rang the doorbell forever.
- I'm sorry. We didn't hear you.
218
00:15:45,884 --> 00:15:47,047
Wait, wait, wait.
219
00:15:47,135 --> 00:15:49,093
Oh, my goodness.
220
00:15:49,221 --> 00:15:50,715
- Honey.
- You are so skinny, I hate you.
221
00:15:50,806 --> 00:15:53,593
- I can't eat when I'm nervous.
- Hi, bride.
222
00:15:55,602 --> 00:15:57,844
How come you get three husbands
and I don't get any?
223
00:15:57,938 --> 00:15:59,765
Well, you can have the last one.
224
00:15:59,856 --> 00:16:01,315
For that matter, you can have this one.
225
00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:03,807
- What's wrong?
- Jerry and I had a fight.
226
00:16:04,027 --> 00:16:06,649
- You're under a lot of stress.
- Oh, no, no.
227
00:16:06,738 --> 00:16:10,403
This was a real, real nasty one,
and I'm still mad. I never leave mad.
228
00:16:10,492 --> 00:16:11,951
- What happened?
- Well, you know,
229
00:16:12,035 --> 00:16:14,324
Jerry's having
his little bachelor party tonight.
230
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:16,933
You know, just a couple of
wacky systems analysts sitting around
231
00:16:16,999 --> 00:16:19,786
playing pool in some billiard parlour
in Pasadena.
232
00:16:19,877 --> 00:16:24,289
Well, this one guy who's with him,
Dave, he hired a stripper.
233
00:16:24,381 --> 00:16:26,504
Now, Jerry didn't know about it
until tonight
234
00:16:26,592 --> 00:16:29,047
but he doesn't understand
why I'm upset.
235
00:16:29,136 --> 00:16:30,595
Well, it's not like
anything's going to happen.
236
00:16:30,679 --> 00:16:32,639
Look, I worked for
one of those stripper companies
237
00:16:32,723 --> 00:16:35,392
in my pathetic early twenties,
I know what goes on.
238
00:16:35,475 --> 00:16:37,468
Yeah, but you said it wasn't his idea.
239
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,600
No, but he should tell them
that he doesn't want it
240
00:16:39,688 --> 00:16:42,393
and make them cancel
if he had any balls.
241
00:16:44,026 --> 00:16:45,899
I don't blame you. I'd be furious.
242
00:16:45,986 --> 00:16:47,149
Besides, it's really tacky.
243
00:16:47,237 --> 00:16:50,404
Yeah, I know. I mean, he should
respect my feelings. He should.
244
00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:52,613
He should respect them
and if it bugs me that much,
245
00:16:52,701 --> 00:16:54,029
then you know, it's not worth it.
246
00:16:54,119 --> 00:16:55,400
Don't you trust him?
247
00:16:55,495 --> 00:16:59,114
- I don't trust anybody I'm in love with.
- Oh, Jamie, please.
248
00:16:59,208 --> 00:17:00,239
You don't actually think
249
00:17:00,334 --> 00:17:02,774
that Jerry's going to have sex
with some bimbo at a pool hall?
250
00:17:02,836 --> 00:17:03,951
He's not the type.
251
00:17:04,046 --> 00:17:06,038
But he's going to fantasise about it.
252
00:17:06,131 --> 00:17:09,167
I think it is really twisted that
three days before he marries me
253
00:17:09,259 --> 00:17:12,379
he's off there staring at another woman,
thinking about screwing her.
254
00:17:12,471 --> 00:17:15,222
- But that's not the point.
- No, it is the point. Aren't I enough?
255
00:17:15,307 --> 00:17:17,667
You don't stop fantasising
once you get married. Believe me.
256
00:17:17,684 --> 00:17:20,306
Well, I just want him
to fantasise about me.
257
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:25,931
Okay. You want me to call up some
big, greasy hunk
258
00:17:26,026 --> 00:17:27,983
and have him come over here
and dance around in a Speedo?
259
00:17:28,070 --> 00:17:31,189
No, no, no. I would hate that.
Men are so simplistic.
260
00:17:31,531 --> 00:17:32,990
It takes a little more to excite me
261
00:17:33,075 --> 00:17:35,363
than some naked moron
dancing around for money.
262
00:17:35,452 --> 00:17:38,903
It doesn't take a stripper for him
to fantasise about somebody else.
263
00:17:38,997 --> 00:17:42,413
The first thing that most men do
when they see an attractive woman
264
00:17:42,501 --> 00:17:44,125
is imagine her naked.
265
00:17:44,753 --> 00:17:48,703
I read in my psych class that a man
thinks about sex every 12 seconds.
266
00:17:48,924 --> 00:17:50,798
How do they get anything done?
267
00:17:50,884 --> 00:17:52,725
I wonder how many erections
do they have a day?
268
00:17:52,761 --> 00:17:53,840
Hundreds.
269
00:17:53,929 --> 00:17:58,057
What ever made me think that
I could be in another relationship?
270
00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:01,520
I mean, I am obviously too neurotic.
271
00:18:01,603 --> 00:18:02,801
I'm not gonna go through with it.
272
00:18:02,896 --> 00:18:04,936
A lot of people
stop their weddings at the last minute.
273
00:18:05,023 --> 00:18:07,265
- Jamie...
- No, I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
274
00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:08,639
Fuck it!
275
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:16,908
Look, I'm sorry.
276
00:18:24,293 --> 00:18:25,787
I'm cold.
277
00:18:26,295 --> 00:18:29,296
- We're having pizza.
- I love your pizza.
278
00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:31,416
Well, let's have pizza.
279
00:18:31,508 --> 00:18:33,252
- I want some pizza.
- Pig out.
280
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:34,875
Isn't it beautiful today?
281
00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:45,183
- Hamburger?
- No.
282
00:18:46,023 --> 00:18:47,565
Jerry is crazy about you.
283
00:18:47,649 --> 00:18:50,436
- Yeah.
- Just like Bob was crazy about me?
284
00:18:50,569 --> 00:18:53,404
- Bob was an asshole.
- Bob was an asshole.
285
00:18:53,488 --> 00:18:55,944
Thanks all of you for telling me that
before I married him.
286
00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:57,575
Hey, I told you. You didn't listen.
287
00:18:57,659 --> 00:19:00,067
- You hate everybody.
- I like Jerry.
288
00:19:00,537 --> 00:19:03,787
- Got any ginger ale?
- You just told me that you'd be furious.
289
00:19:03,874 --> 00:19:06,994
Well, yeah, but I mean, that doesn't
mean I don't think he's a good guy.
290
00:19:07,085 --> 00:19:09,125
He's not like Bob or anything.
291
00:19:09,213 --> 00:19:10,956
This smells like feet. Smell that.
292
00:19:11,048 --> 00:19:12,423
Yeah, well, I picked Bob.
293
00:19:12,507 --> 00:19:13,883
I picked Victor, for that matter.
294
00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:16,423
- Hey, did you bring your dress?
- How can I trust myself?
295
00:19:16,511 --> 00:19:18,421
- Did you bring your dress?
- Yeah, it's in the car.
296
00:19:18,513 --> 00:19:20,387
- Somebody might steal it.
- Who cares?
297
00:19:20,474 --> 00:19:22,881
- Is it white?
- No. It's bone.
298
00:19:22,976 --> 00:19:24,885
I was just thinking how funny it would be
299
00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:27,137
if we all just, you know,
wore the same bridesmaid's dresses
300
00:19:27,231 --> 00:19:29,389
- from your last wedding.
- Oh, God.
301
00:19:29,524 --> 00:19:32,016
I let my goddaughter
cut mine up for doll clothes.
302
00:19:32,110 --> 00:19:35,277
- I burnt mine.
- Oh, come on. They weren't that bad.
303
00:19:35,364 --> 00:19:37,736
Are you kidding? With those sashes?
304
00:19:37,824 --> 00:19:40,315
We looked like we were on Hee Haw.
305
00:19:40,410 --> 00:19:42,984
Oh, God, they were perfect for the time.
Come on.
306
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,535
They were really bad.
I was just looking at the pictures.
307
00:19:45,624 --> 00:19:47,830
You have the...
Oh, my God. I threw mine out.
308
00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:51,085
- Go get them.
- Get them. Come on, Georgina. Please.
309
00:19:51,171 --> 00:19:52,532
- Please, please.
- Please, please.
310
00:19:52,589 --> 00:19:54,549
Okay. Somebody make
another pitcher of margaritas.
311
00:19:54,633 --> 00:19:56,672
I'll make the margaritas.
312
00:19:57,886 --> 00:19:59,001
What?
313
00:19:59,096 --> 00:20:01,669
Georg has a crush
on a guy she works with.
314
00:20:01,848 --> 00:20:03,093
- What?
- What?
315
00:20:03,392 --> 00:20:05,930
- She told me. He's her sous chef.
- What about Chris?
316
00:20:06,019 --> 00:20:09,056
I don't know.
I'm just telling you what she told me.
317
00:20:37,259 --> 00:20:38,374
Hey.
318
00:20:40,512 --> 00:20:43,881
- What you doing?
- Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you.
319
00:20:47,227 --> 00:20:48,603
Hop in a minute.
320
00:20:48,687 --> 00:20:51,178
No. Chris, I can't.
I can't. Everybody's here.
321
00:20:51,273 --> 00:20:55,520
- So? It's more exciting that way.
- No. Really, I can't.
322
00:20:58,071 --> 00:21:00,609
Excuse me for wanting a little affection.
323
00:21:01,158 --> 00:21:02,999
Well, I think it's a
little unrealistic of you
324
00:21:03,076 --> 00:21:04,784
to expect me to
just jump into bed with you
325
00:21:04,870 --> 00:21:07,159
when all my friends are here.
326
00:21:08,707 --> 00:21:11,459
Are you mad at me or something?
I mean...
327
00:21:12,419 --> 00:21:13,450
I'm just preoccupied, you know.
328
00:21:13,545 --> 00:21:15,752
I'm trying to throw a bachelorette party
329
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:17,998
for somebody who just decided
not to get married.
330
00:21:18,091 --> 00:21:19,206
Why?
331
00:21:19,343 --> 00:21:22,676
She's mad at Jerry and, I don't know,
I think she's just scared.
332
00:21:23,138 --> 00:21:24,549
She's such a drama queen, man.
333
00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:27,594
You don't even know
the whole story, Chris.
334
00:21:27,893 --> 00:21:30,300
You know, she's genuinely upset.
335
00:21:32,731 --> 00:21:36,681
I wish you were as understanding
with me as you are with your friends.
336
00:21:38,362 --> 00:21:41,232
I'm just trying to make everybody happy.
337
00:21:47,746 --> 00:21:50,118
Will you come out and join us soon?
338
00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:53,992
I don't really feel like being around
everybody right now.
339
00:21:54,086 --> 00:21:56,659
I'm not feeling that great.
340
00:21:58,757 --> 00:22:00,299
Well, get some rest.
341
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,014
Here it is.
342
00:22:15,649 --> 00:22:16,977
Look at this.
343
00:22:17,109 --> 00:22:19,647
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
344
00:22:19,778 --> 00:22:22,649
- Look how fat I am.
- You look stunning in that dress.
345
00:22:22,739 --> 00:22:24,732
Why did you make me wear pink?
346
00:22:25,117 --> 00:22:26,611
I can't believe it.
347
00:22:26,702 --> 00:22:29,074
- Look how small your boobs are.
- I know.
348
00:22:29,997 --> 00:22:32,832
God, look at my ugly hair.
Look at my ugly husband.
349
00:22:32,916 --> 00:22:33,995
He wasn't ugly.
350
00:22:34,084 --> 00:22:35,662
- Yes, he was.
- Yes, he was.
351
00:22:35,752 --> 00:22:38,290
God, he was an alcoholic leprechaun.
352
00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:41,831
You know, my taste in men stinks.
My taste in dresses stinks.
353
00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:44,048
I just have terrible judgment
about everything.
354
00:22:44,136 --> 00:22:46,010
No, not anymore.
355
00:22:46,263 --> 00:22:49,762
You wouldn't marry an abusive liar
like Victor now, would you?
356
00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:51,392
She wouldn't
have married him in the first place
357
00:22:51,476 --> 00:22:53,350
if she'd known he was already married
to someone else.
358
00:22:53,437 --> 00:22:55,598
Come on, don't remind me.
The only reason I married him
359
00:22:55,606 --> 00:22:57,847
is because he was
so completely different than Victor.
360
00:22:57,941 --> 00:23:01,275
That's why I'm fucking Randy. I mean,
he's even more fucked up than Mark.
361
00:23:01,361 --> 00:23:05,026
- I do everything ass backwards.
- What did she just say?
362
00:23:05,115 --> 00:23:06,942
Something about
Mark fucking her in the ass.
363
00:23:07,034 --> 00:23:08,658
I didn't know Mark had it in him.
364
00:23:08,744 --> 00:23:11,910
- I didn't think Bob was that bad.
- Oh, God. He was withholding and cold.
365
00:23:11,997 --> 00:23:14,073
I'd rather be screamed at than ignored.
366
00:23:14,166 --> 00:23:16,123
Well, Jerry certainly doesn't ignore you.
367
00:23:16,210 --> 00:23:18,961
Yeah. He worships you. It's sickening.
368
00:23:19,046 --> 00:23:22,130
- Is that my car alarm?
- There goes your dress.
369
00:23:22,257 --> 00:23:23,882
Jesus.
370
00:23:25,677 --> 00:23:28,251
I guess she still wants her dress.
371
00:23:44,821 --> 00:23:46,779
- Here it is.
- It's pretty.
372
00:23:46,865 --> 00:23:48,359
- Nice.
- It's beautiful.
373
00:23:48,450 --> 00:23:50,028
It's not bone, it's champagne.
374
00:23:50,118 --> 00:23:53,155
- I hope I can return it. I had it altered.
- Try it on.
375
00:23:53,247 --> 00:23:55,120
I mean,
since we're not gonna get to see it later.
376
00:23:55,207 --> 00:23:56,701
- Yeah.
- Come on.
377
00:23:56,792 --> 00:23:58,535
- Just try it on.
- Put it on.
378
00:23:58,835 --> 00:24:00,294
Try it on.
379
00:24:01,004 --> 00:24:02,119
Okay.
380
00:24:13,100 --> 00:24:16,136
This is just her insecurity
getting the best of her.
381
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:20,268
I mean, after all, she's gotten
all her validation from her looks
382
00:24:20,357 --> 00:24:22,848
and now she's getting older.
383
00:24:23,068 --> 00:24:25,986
Maybe she's just
having second thoughts about him.
384
00:24:27,030 --> 00:24:30,316
I remember waking up
and finding Don totally repulsive
385
00:24:30,409 --> 00:24:31,689
right before we got married
386
00:24:31,785 --> 00:24:34,454
and then I accused him
of not loving me.
387
00:24:34,538 --> 00:24:36,945
- That's awful.
- It's normal.
388
00:24:37,332 --> 00:24:39,408
What are you guys whispering about?
389
00:24:39,501 --> 00:24:42,372
Just wondering
if you invited Bob to the wedding.
390
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,290
Very funny.
391
00:24:44,798 --> 00:24:48,084
Did I tell you that I found out that
he did get married again?
392
00:24:48,176 --> 00:24:50,502
That explains
that stupid annulment attempt.
393
00:24:50,596 --> 00:24:51,627
What?
394
00:24:51,722 --> 00:24:55,138
Yeah. I get this letter from his priest
asking me to sign something
395
00:24:55,225 --> 00:24:57,467
that says that we were never married
in the eyes of God
396
00:24:57,561 --> 00:24:59,684
because we didn't have
a Catholic wedding.
397
00:24:59,771 --> 00:25:02,523
- What a hypocrite.
- What did you say?
398
00:25:02,733 --> 00:25:03,931
Well, I said,
399
00:25:04,276 --> 00:25:07,312
"As long as you're having
my marriage annulled,"
400
00:25:07,404 --> 00:25:10,025
"can I have my herpes annulled, too?"
401
00:25:10,490 --> 00:25:14,239
- Bob gave you herpes?
- Yeah. Ironic?
402
00:25:14,870 --> 00:25:18,369
After all those sleaze bags
that I slept with in my twenties,
403
00:25:18,457 --> 00:25:21,577
and then I get it from
my boring little ex-husband.
404
00:25:28,050 --> 00:25:29,959
Oh, that's beautiful.
405
00:25:30,219 --> 00:25:32,840
- You look beautiful.
- So beautiful.
406
00:25:33,138 --> 00:25:35,178
Oh, wait! I forgot my shoes.
407
00:25:38,936 --> 00:25:42,055
I am not accusing you of anything!
I asked you one simple question!
408
00:25:42,147 --> 00:25:43,974
Well, I'm sick of
your goddamn questions!
409
00:25:44,066 --> 00:25:46,224
I saw you talking to her! I saw you!
410
00:25:46,318 --> 00:25:49,438
Georgina, your neighbours
are about to kill each other.
411
00:25:49,613 --> 00:25:51,570
I would rather talk to her than you,
goddamn it.
412
00:25:51,657 --> 00:25:53,365
- She's in her underwear.
- Fuck you!
413
00:25:53,492 --> 00:25:56,409
- Oh, my God. She just slapped him.
- Good. He's a pig.
414
00:25:56,495 --> 00:25:59,412
- How do you know?
- You can tell by looking at him.
415
00:26:00,082 --> 00:26:01,955
- I'm sick of you! Stop it!
- Bitch!
416
00:26:02,042 --> 00:26:05,209
I just wanna talk to you!
God, what is your problem?
417
00:26:05,295 --> 00:26:08,747
- I said I'm sorry! Don't go! Please!
- Get away from me.
418
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,510
I wanna talk to you. Stay here.
419
00:26:11,593 --> 00:26:13,550
- Get away!
- Let him go!
420
00:26:13,637 --> 00:26:16,757
- No! No!
- Get off my goddamn car!
421
00:26:16,848 --> 00:26:18,925
Stay here! I just wanna talk to you!
422
00:26:20,811 --> 00:26:22,519
No! I love you!
423
00:26:22,646 --> 00:26:24,105
- She's so desperate.
- She is crazy.
424
00:26:24,189 --> 00:26:26,229
They do this all the time.
425
00:26:27,526 --> 00:26:29,269
That's marriage for you.
426
00:26:29,361 --> 00:26:32,066
- My marriage isn't like that.
- Are you happily married, Jill?
427
00:26:32,155 --> 00:26:33,947
Tell me honestly, are you?
428
00:26:36,285 --> 00:26:37,743
She's never happy.
429
00:26:37,870 --> 00:26:40,361
It has nothing to do with her marriage.
430
00:26:40,873 --> 00:26:42,283
Jamie, for God's sakes.
431
00:26:42,374 --> 00:26:44,616
You don't understand. I've done that.
432
00:26:44,710 --> 00:26:46,418
- When?
- With Bob.
433
00:26:46,503 --> 00:26:47,997
What did you do?
434
00:26:49,590 --> 00:26:52,626
Well, it was just the lowest point
in my whole life.
435
00:26:54,636 --> 00:26:57,044
Bob had moved out, and there I was
436
00:26:57,139 --> 00:26:59,048
holed up in our newly decorated house
437
00:26:59,141 --> 00:27:02,510
which, by that time,
seemed like Amityville.
438
00:27:02,686 --> 00:27:06,137
He called to say that he was coming by
to pick up some of his stuff.
439
00:27:06,231 --> 00:27:08,438
I don't know what I was thinking but
440
00:27:08,650 --> 00:27:12,518
I had it in my head I would seduce him
441
00:27:12,613 --> 00:27:14,356
and he would want me back.
442
00:27:15,490 --> 00:27:17,033
Bob.
443
00:27:20,162 --> 00:27:23,365
- What are you doing here?
- I'm taking my pots.
444
00:27:23,707 --> 00:27:24,870
What?
445
00:27:25,083 --> 00:27:28,037
The pots are mine.
The plants are yours.
446
00:27:28,295 --> 00:27:30,751
Bob, the plants are gonna die.
447
00:27:30,839 --> 00:27:35,133
- Get some new pots.
- Have you lost your mind?
448
00:27:36,470 --> 00:27:39,506
Bob, look at me.
449
00:27:40,057 --> 00:27:42,678
What are you doing outside
in your underwear?
450
00:27:42,768 --> 00:27:45,175
- Go inside.
- I can't believe this.
451
00:27:45,270 --> 00:27:47,678
You don't even come in and say hello.
452
00:27:47,814 --> 00:27:49,309
The neighbours can see you.
453
00:27:49,399 --> 00:27:50,514
Bob.
454
00:27:51,068 --> 00:27:54,401
Go inside. I'll be in in a minute.
455
00:27:58,784 --> 00:28:01,405
Honey, don't be like this. Talk to me.
456
00:28:01,495 --> 00:28:03,037
I've said everything.
457
00:28:03,622 --> 00:28:06,374
Why are you running around like that?
Put some clothes on.
458
00:28:06,458 --> 00:28:09,874
Give it to me.
You've broken the bloody flag!
459
00:28:09,962 --> 00:28:13,295
Jesus. Jesus, Bob.
You said we were gonna be friends.
460
00:28:18,262 --> 00:28:20,966
So, how's work?
461
00:28:21,181 --> 00:28:24,846
Fine. They're doing a movie
of Hogan's Heroes and I got a call-back.
462
00:28:24,935 --> 00:28:26,180
That's great.
463
00:28:26,603 --> 00:28:28,395
Bob, honey.
464
00:28:31,358 --> 00:28:34,394
- Jamie, stop it.
- I miss you.
465
00:28:37,281 --> 00:28:38,609
I'm late.
466
00:28:40,909 --> 00:28:43,198
I don't understand
how you can just suddenly hate me.
467
00:28:43,287 --> 00:28:46,738
I don't hate you.
I don't feel anything for you at all.
468
00:28:47,541 --> 00:28:49,035
Yes, you do!
469
00:29:03,265 --> 00:29:08,390
- Haven't you any pride?
- Bob, Bob.
470
00:29:21,408 --> 00:29:22,571
Bob?
471
00:29:30,125 --> 00:29:32,698
- Hi.
- Who are you?
472
00:29:36,673 --> 00:29:38,168
I'm Jeff from Greenpeace.
473
00:29:38,258 --> 00:29:39,538
"You might have heard about us."
474
00:29:39,593 --> 00:29:43,341
"We are the largest
environmental organisation in the world."
475
00:29:43,513 --> 00:29:48,140
"We are famous for our work with
whales, seals and ocean pollution."
476
00:29:53,273 --> 00:29:56,607
And I live up in the green house
at the top of the street.
477
00:29:57,027 --> 00:29:59,862
- My mom's at a neighbourhood watch.
- Right.
478
00:30:02,282 --> 00:30:05,034
"Did you know
that whales are still being hunted"
479
00:30:05,118 --> 00:30:06,862
"in certain unpatrolled waters"
480
00:30:06,954 --> 00:30:08,745
"and brutally slaughtered?"
481
00:30:13,752 --> 00:30:15,377
It's okay though.
482
00:30:16,129 --> 00:30:17,624
Ma'am, you...
483
00:30:17,714 --> 00:30:19,837
Ma'am, contributions...
484
00:30:19,925 --> 00:30:22,131
"Contributions of $25 or more
485
00:30:22,219 --> 00:30:27,047
"from generous people like you help us
stop the useless and cruel clubbing
486
00:30:27,266 --> 00:30:29,507
"of innocent baby harp seals
487
00:30:30,811 --> 00:30:32,887
"which are primarily used
to make cheap"...
488
00:30:32,980 --> 00:30:34,355
These cheap key chains.
489
00:30:34,439 --> 00:30:37,191
Stop, stop. Come on in.
I'll write you a cheque.
490
00:30:45,284 --> 00:30:47,525
Let me get my purse.
491
00:30:56,044 --> 00:30:57,954
Okay. I'm gonna find it.
492
00:31:01,049 --> 00:31:04,335
Oh, I remember your mom now.
Jackie, right?
493
00:31:04,428 --> 00:31:06,255
- Janet.
- Right.
494
00:31:07,264 --> 00:31:11,096
Damn it, where is it?
This place is such a mess.
495
00:31:11,935 --> 00:31:13,311
Excuse me.
496
00:31:13,812 --> 00:31:16,813
Here I am, wandering around like this.
497
00:31:19,484 --> 00:31:22,355
Are you all right?
You seem a little bummed.
498
00:31:23,405 --> 00:31:25,196
You could say that.
499
00:31:26,992 --> 00:31:28,320
That's too bad.
500
00:31:30,370 --> 00:31:33,704
You look really nice
in that thing, anyway.
501
00:31:37,044 --> 00:31:38,419
Thank you.
502
00:32:26,263 --> 00:32:27,923
There's my purse.
503
00:32:30,476 --> 00:32:33,263
- Okay.
- Could you hand it to me?
504
00:32:36,982 --> 00:32:38,097
Sure.
505
00:32:56,001 --> 00:33:00,165
- Is "Greenpeace" one word?
- Yeah. Here.
506
00:33:15,145 --> 00:33:16,426
Here.
507
00:33:18,690 --> 00:33:21,442
Thanks. That's very generous of you.
508
00:33:24,988 --> 00:33:28,571
Look, do you want to
get something to eat or something...
509
00:33:29,618 --> 00:33:32,453
That's very sweet of you,
510
00:33:34,748 --> 00:33:37,073
but you better get back to your work.
511
00:33:39,253 --> 00:33:40,415
Yeah.
512
00:33:43,966 --> 00:33:47,916
Look, have a nice evening.
513
00:33:48,011 --> 00:33:52,223
- Thanks. Say hello to your mom.
- Okay.
514
00:34:04,236 --> 00:34:06,857
You actually said that,
"Say hi to your mom"?
515
00:34:06,947 --> 00:34:08,441
Can you believe it?
516
00:34:10,576 --> 00:34:12,485
Get off my goddamn car, Kim!
517
00:34:14,913 --> 00:34:17,286
- I love you!
- Kim, get in the house!
518
00:34:17,374 --> 00:34:19,616
- Oh, my God!
- What?
519
00:34:19,710 --> 00:34:21,121
The pizzas!
520
00:34:21,211 --> 00:34:24,296
- Oh, shit.
- Shit.
521
00:34:24,423 --> 00:34:26,712
Oh, no!
522
00:34:26,800 --> 00:34:28,211
Put it out.
523
00:34:30,220 --> 00:34:33,305
Oh, no. What a waste.
524
00:34:33,390 --> 00:34:34,505
They're horrible.
525
00:34:34,683 --> 00:34:35,798
So what? We'll get takeout.
526
00:34:35,893 --> 00:34:37,684
No, but these would've been
so much better.
527
00:34:37,770 --> 00:34:39,210
You better change out of that dress.
528
00:34:39,229 --> 00:34:41,851
- Was the sex good?
- Yeah. Untie me.
529
00:34:42,066 --> 00:34:43,892
You know,
it was like when you're starving
530
00:34:43,984 --> 00:34:47,567
and you want a big, greasy hamburger,
but, you know, later you feel sick.
531
00:34:47,654 --> 00:34:49,612
That's so hot to
have a young, beautiful boy
532
00:34:49,698 --> 00:34:52,023
totally dependent on you
to tell him what to do.
533
00:34:52,117 --> 00:34:56,329
- This guy knew what to do, believe me.
- I'd like a young boy on my pizza.
534
00:34:56,413 --> 00:34:59,913
- But will a young boy like you?
- Hey, I'm not dead yet.
535
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,964
You know, I remember freaking out
right before I married Don
536
00:35:07,341 --> 00:35:09,748
because I would never
be able to have sex with anybody else
537
00:35:09,843 --> 00:35:12,844
for the rest of my life,
let alone kiss anybody.
538
00:35:13,222 --> 00:35:16,223
- Do you think that's what's scaring you?
- No, I've kissed enough people.
539
00:35:16,308 --> 00:35:20,555
Besides, I don't feel restricted with
Jerry. I mean, he's very experimental.
540
00:35:21,730 --> 00:35:24,482
You ready
to give somebody like that up?
541
00:35:24,566 --> 00:35:28,350
He's probably off experimenting
with some sleazy stripper right now.
542
00:35:28,779 --> 00:35:31,104
So how much you think
that jukebox takes in?
543
00:35:31,198 --> 00:35:33,356
- Per night or per month?
- Whatever.
544
00:35:33,450 --> 00:35:37,662
Well, you figure four songs for a dollar,
song's three, four minutes long.
545
00:35:37,746 --> 00:35:41,329
- It's active six hours a night.
- It's about 100 songs an evening.
546
00:35:41,417 --> 00:35:43,409
Is that a Wednesday night
or a Saturday night?
547
00:35:43,502 --> 00:35:45,127
We're talking aggregate.
We're talking a whole week.
548
00:35:45,212 --> 00:35:47,750
- Nobody said aggregate.
- We're speaking aggregate.
549
00:35:49,383 --> 00:35:50,925
Check it out.
550
00:35:52,052 --> 00:35:53,844
$132.50 a week.
551
00:35:55,723 --> 00:35:57,596
You know who was really kinky
552
00:35:57,683 --> 00:35:59,307
- was Jay.
- Jay?
553
00:35:59,393 --> 00:36:01,385
He was the first person
who ever spanked me.
554
00:36:01,478 --> 00:36:03,435
Oh, Jesus.
Do we really have to hear this?
555
00:36:03,522 --> 00:36:05,064
It was so much fun.
556
00:36:05,149 --> 00:36:06,477
The big jerk. I still hate him.
557
00:36:06,567 --> 00:36:08,025
Why don't you call him
and hang up on him?
558
00:36:08,110 --> 00:36:10,683
I can't.
I drove him to an unlisted number.
559
00:36:10,779 --> 00:36:14,907
Are you serious?
Jill, that is so immature.
560
00:36:15,534 --> 00:36:16,862
What did he do to you?
561
00:36:16,952 --> 00:36:19,525
For one thing, he tried to have
a three-way with me and Jamie.
562
00:36:19,621 --> 00:36:22,302
When we said no, he broke up with me
and tried to go out with Jamie.
563
00:36:22,332 --> 00:36:24,076
- True.
- I didn't know that.
564
00:36:24,168 --> 00:36:27,667
What made Jay think you guys
would have a three-way with him?
565
00:36:28,881 --> 00:36:30,624
You two are so coy.
566
00:36:31,258 --> 00:36:32,539
What?
567
00:36:32,634 --> 00:36:34,627
- Nothing.
- What?
568
00:36:34,887 --> 00:36:37,923
No, it was just something that happened
once when we were both at UCLA.
569
00:36:38,015 --> 00:36:39,213
- It was stupid.
- Stupid.
570
00:36:39,308 --> 00:36:41,431
- I've heard this story.
- How come I didn't hear it?
571
00:36:41,518 --> 00:36:44,887
You were at Mount Holypoke,
or whatever that hoity-toity school was.
572
00:36:44,980 --> 00:36:48,230
Hey, didn't you have
any nubile lesbian experiences there?
573
00:36:48,317 --> 00:36:51,602
Shut up! Yeah, sure. You know I didn't.
Stop changing the subject.
574
00:36:51,695 --> 00:36:53,569
What happened when you guys
were at UCLA?
575
00:36:53,655 --> 00:36:56,146
- It's too personal.
- Now, that's a first.
576
00:36:56,325 --> 00:36:58,282
- Come on, tell!
- No, it was stupid.
577
00:36:58,369 --> 00:37:00,195
- I'll tell.
- You slut.
578
00:37:00,996 --> 00:37:02,989
We were living in that building in Palms.
579
00:37:03,082 --> 00:37:05,786
And Jamie was dating
this guy from USC...
580
00:37:05,959 --> 00:37:07,869
Well, she wasn't dating him.
She was exploiting him.
581
00:37:07,961 --> 00:37:10,120
Come on, he was cute,
but nobody you'd ever fall in love with.
582
00:37:10,214 --> 00:37:13,001
So, it didn't matter. It was the '70s.
There was no AIDS.
583
00:37:13,092 --> 00:37:16,710
Everybody was fucking each other
and wearing too much lip gloss.
584
00:37:17,513 --> 00:37:20,182
He looked kind of like
a Jewish Jim Morrison.
585
00:37:55,217 --> 00:37:56,759
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, shit!
586
00:38:04,143 --> 00:38:05,257
Shit.
587
00:38:21,702 --> 00:38:24,572
I can't believe
you guys had a three-way.
588
00:38:26,373 --> 00:38:27,571
Was it great?
589
00:38:27,666 --> 00:38:30,418
No, it was stupid.
We knew each other too well.
590
00:38:30,502 --> 00:38:32,376
It was kind of incestuous.
591
00:38:33,047 --> 00:38:34,790
What ever happened to him?
592
00:38:35,090 --> 00:38:37,760
He's an agent with
the William Morris Agency.
593
00:38:40,345 --> 00:38:41,840
Rachel, can I borrow your comb?
594
00:38:41,930 --> 00:38:44,338
God, I remember, we had to go to
Frederick's of Hollywood
595
00:38:44,433 --> 00:38:45,548
to get those garter belts.
596
00:38:45,642 --> 00:38:48,430
You couldn't even get, like, sexy lingerie
in department stores then.
597
00:38:48,520 --> 00:38:51,391
- Who even wears garter belts anymore?
- I do.
598
00:38:51,482 --> 00:38:52,762
You slut.
599
00:38:52,858 --> 00:38:55,859
You know what I hate
is that cheesy lingerie catalogue.
600
00:38:55,944 --> 00:38:57,664
I know.
They're all air-brushed and perfect.
601
00:38:57,696 --> 00:38:59,404
- No one looks like that.
- I do.
602
00:38:59,490 --> 00:39:02,989
Those perfect little models with those
teddies on that nobody ever wears.
603
00:39:03,077 --> 00:39:05,614
There's never a drop of discharge
on them.
604
00:39:07,122 --> 00:39:08,533
It makes me feel so inadequate.
605
00:39:08,624 --> 00:39:11,578
Do you remember when we talked Mom
into buying that first black bra?
606
00:39:11,668 --> 00:39:14,076
Oh, God, she thought it was so racy.
607
00:39:14,421 --> 00:39:17,422
That was the time
we went shopping for your first bra.
608
00:39:17,508 --> 00:39:20,081
- I was so jealous of you.
- I developed first.
609
00:39:20,177 --> 00:39:22,798
- You're older.
- Not by much.
610
00:39:26,058 --> 00:39:27,173
What?
611
00:39:27,267 --> 00:39:29,474
- We tried...
- What?
612
00:39:29,561 --> 00:39:31,471
Come on, spit it out.
613
00:39:31,563 --> 00:39:33,770
We finally convinced her
to try a tampon.
614
00:39:33,857 --> 00:39:36,395
And she didn't know that she was
supposed to take the applicator out.
615
00:39:36,485 --> 00:39:38,608
So she left it in. And she came out
and she sat on the couch,
616
00:39:38,695 --> 00:39:41,068
and then she shot six feet in the air.
617
00:39:45,869 --> 00:39:49,321
- Jill, Jill.
- What is that?
618
00:39:51,667 --> 00:39:54,158
It's the sound my mother makes
when she comes.
619
00:39:56,755 --> 00:39:59,460
- You heard her?
- She heard her mother?
620
00:40:07,725 --> 00:40:09,100
Oh, my God, what if it's Randy?
621
00:40:09,184 --> 00:40:11,806
- Oh, Marcy, for God's sake.
- Relax.
622
00:40:11,895 --> 00:40:13,722
Don't open the door.
623
00:40:14,982 --> 00:40:16,144
Sorry.
624
00:40:16,316 --> 00:40:18,309
It's the pizza.
625
00:40:18,736 --> 00:40:21,273
- Good, I'm starving.
- I'm stuffed.
626
00:40:21,363 --> 00:40:23,155
Let me get you some money.
627
00:40:26,243 --> 00:40:27,441
- Hi.
- Hi.
628
00:40:27,828 --> 00:40:31,114
Oh, my God. Don't let Jamie near him.
629
00:40:31,206 --> 00:40:34,291
- Is this a joke? Are you a stripper?
- Pardon?
630
00:40:34,460 --> 00:40:36,583
Don't listen to her. Here.
631
00:40:37,421 --> 00:40:39,414
- Keep the change.
- Thanks.
632
00:40:40,799 --> 00:40:43,255
- Guys having a party?
- No, Jamie's getting married.
633
00:40:43,343 --> 00:40:44,838
- No, I'm not.
- Third time.
634
00:40:44,928 --> 00:40:45,960
Thanks, Jill.
635
00:40:46,055 --> 00:40:50,763
Wait a minute. I know you.
You were in Cadet Academy.
636
00:40:52,603 --> 00:40:56,387
- Am I right? That was you, right?
- Yeah, I'm afraid it was. Yeah.
637
00:40:57,149 --> 00:40:58,394
Shut up.
638
00:40:58,484 --> 00:41:01,319
You looked so cute in that uniform.
You were my favourite cadet.
639
00:41:01,403 --> 00:41:02,779
Thanks.
640
00:41:05,324 --> 00:41:07,316
Well, hey, congratulations.
641
00:41:09,161 --> 00:41:11,070
- Thanks.
- See you.
642
00:41:11,455 --> 00:41:12,570
Bye.
643
00:41:14,416 --> 00:41:18,544
- Oh, my God! He was cute.
- Yeah, like a Michelangelo.
644
00:41:18,629 --> 00:41:19,827
I need to pee.
645
00:41:21,423 --> 00:41:25,373
You see?
I bet you had a fantasy going about him.
646
00:41:25,469 --> 00:41:26,632
No, I didn't.
647
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:29,887
I can admire somebody's looks
without having to see them naked.
648
00:41:29,973 --> 00:41:32,346
- I'd like to see him naked.
- What?
649
00:41:33,685 --> 00:41:36,971
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Club soda and salt. Quick!
650
00:41:40,943 --> 00:41:42,105
Hey.
651
00:41:42,945 --> 00:41:44,320
Calm down, it's just me.
652
00:41:44,405 --> 00:41:46,065
I'm sorry. I came out the wrong door.
653
00:41:46,156 --> 00:41:49,857
- I'm sorry. I forgot you were in here.
- Nice dress.
654
00:41:50,327 --> 00:41:51,905
Oh, thanks. Thanks.
655
00:41:52,746 --> 00:41:55,783
- It's from Loehmann's.
- Loehmann's?
656
00:41:55,958 --> 00:41:58,959
Oh, God. My mom used to
take me there when I was little.
657
00:41:59,044 --> 00:42:01,167
She still thinks
those open changing rooms
658
00:42:01,255 --> 00:42:02,998
are the cause of me being a lesbian.
659
00:42:04,258 --> 00:42:05,882
Are you serious?
660
00:42:06,385 --> 00:42:07,583
No.
661
00:42:11,807 --> 00:42:13,598
I better get back.
662
00:42:15,018 --> 00:42:16,263
Yeah, right. Okay.
663
00:42:26,113 --> 00:42:28,236
Don't worry. We got it out.
664
00:42:30,743 --> 00:42:32,949
We really did. See, it'll never show.
665
00:42:33,037 --> 00:42:35,076
Besides, it's right where
you hold your flowers.
666
00:42:35,164 --> 00:42:37,037
I mean, you know, if...
667
00:42:37,750 --> 00:42:39,991
It's just another sign.
668
00:42:40,294 --> 00:42:44,422
- Jamie, don't be ridiculous.
- What are you doing?
669
00:42:44,506 --> 00:42:46,582
- I don't eat cheese.
- Since when?
670
00:42:46,675 --> 00:42:49,427
After I broke up with Mark.
Got a colonic.
671
00:42:49,636 --> 00:42:53,088
Mark used to tell me I have these
saddle bags and a Christmas package.
672
00:42:53,182 --> 00:42:55,008
Now what is a Christmas package?
673
00:42:55,100 --> 00:42:57,638
That bulge that starts at your pubic hair.
674
00:42:57,728 --> 00:42:59,436
Mark used to call it
my Christmas package.
675
00:42:59,521 --> 00:43:01,348
What a jerk. You have a great body.
676
00:43:01,440 --> 00:43:04,275
Thank you. It doesn't matter.
Now if anybody tells me I'm fat,
677
00:43:04,359 --> 00:43:05,984
I just feel like killing myself.
678
00:43:06,070 --> 00:43:07,896
I know what you mean.
679
00:43:07,988 --> 00:43:09,945
I can't even masturbate when I feel fat.
680
00:43:10,032 --> 00:43:11,491
Everything with you
always comes back to sex.
681
00:43:11,575 --> 00:43:13,484
You know when I hate myself,
I still masturbate
682
00:43:13,577 --> 00:43:15,178
but I have really masochistic fantasies.
683
00:43:15,245 --> 00:43:18,246
You see? You think you're gonna stop
doing that just 'cause you get married?
684
00:43:18,332 --> 00:43:21,416
No, but they're abstract.
They're not about anybody in particular.
685
00:43:21,502 --> 00:43:23,382
I went out with
this really smug French guy once
686
00:43:23,420 --> 00:43:25,100
who thought
he knew everything about women.
687
00:43:25,130 --> 00:43:26,375
I gotta pee now.
688
00:43:26,465 --> 00:43:28,873
And he insisted that
all women have one fantasy.
689
00:43:29,551 --> 00:43:34,379
A man comes home, he brings roses
and champagne to his woman,
690
00:43:34,473 --> 00:43:35,993
then he tells her that he loves her...
691
00:43:36,016 --> 00:43:38,768
- Are you sure he wasn't Italian?
- He was European.
692
00:43:38,852 --> 00:43:40,892
He tells her that he loves her
693
00:43:40,979 --> 00:43:43,815
and she's the most beautiful thing
in the world.
694
00:43:43,941 --> 00:43:46,479
- And that's it.
- Sounds good to me.
695
00:43:46,652 --> 00:43:50,566
I hate roses.
My fantasies are so much more explicit.
696
00:43:50,656 --> 00:43:52,447
I mean, I disgust myself sometimes.
697
00:43:54,034 --> 00:43:58,577
Did you guys read that Nancy Friday
book My Secret Garden of Fantasies?
698
00:43:58,664 --> 00:44:00,123
I read that.
699
00:44:00,582 --> 00:44:04,663
It's broken into all kinds of categories,
you know, sadomasochism and incest.
700
00:44:04,753 --> 00:44:07,161
There's even an animal category.
701
00:44:07,756 --> 00:44:10,330
You know, Victor tried to hump
his cocker spaniel, Lucky,
702
00:44:10,426 --> 00:44:13,795
- when he was little.
- No! Did he really?
703
00:44:13,887 --> 00:44:15,346
- That's disgusting.
- Yuck!
704
00:44:15,431 --> 00:44:17,554
- What?
- Tina farted!
705
00:44:20,602 --> 00:44:22,928
You know, I remember
that Nancy Friday book.
706
00:44:23,021 --> 00:44:25,809
There was this nun fantasy in it
that was really perverse.
707
00:44:25,899 --> 00:44:29,564
Please don't say anything about a nun.
There's nothing sexy about a nun.
708
00:44:29,653 --> 00:44:33,236
Come on. I'd like to look up
some nun's habit and pleasure her.
709
00:44:33,323 --> 00:44:36,775
I did a nun once. An ex-nun.
710
00:44:37,077 --> 00:44:40,078
And she lost her virginity
to her mother superior.
711
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:43,447
Some of my fantasies are so weird.
712
00:44:43,876 --> 00:44:46,331
- I wonder where they come from.
- Twisted childhoods.
713
00:44:46,420 --> 00:44:48,662
You didn't have a twisted childhood.
714
00:44:48,922 --> 00:44:52,089
I always feel guilty
after my masochistic fantasies.
715
00:44:52,176 --> 00:44:55,592
I don't know. What do you do
when you're politically correct
716
00:44:55,679 --> 00:44:57,755
but your masturbation fantasies aren't?
717
00:44:57,848 --> 00:45:00,765
- I just hate any kind of pain.
- It's not about pain.
718
00:45:00,851 --> 00:45:02,262
I'm sorry.
719
00:45:02,519 --> 00:45:04,761
- I didn't know you were still in here.
- It's all yours.
720
00:45:04,855 --> 00:45:07,726
I got something on my shirt.
I gotta go change.
721
00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:38,411
- I knew it! You are smoking again.
- Mind your own business!
722
00:47:38,505 --> 00:47:40,083
- This is my first one in six months.
- Oh, God.
723
00:47:40,174 --> 00:47:42,795
I've had a very long stressful day
and it's not easy being around you.
724
00:47:42,885 --> 00:47:44,130
Your breath stinks.
Oh, what? What did I do?
725
00:47:44,219 --> 00:47:45,500
Just because
I don't want to take care of you
726
00:47:45,596 --> 00:47:47,672
when you're riddled with emphysema...
727
00:47:47,765 --> 00:47:50,849
- Guys, you're gonna wake up Chris.
- I'm awake.
728
00:47:50,935 --> 00:47:52,097
- Sorry.
- Sorry.
729
00:47:52,186 --> 00:47:53,977
Sorry, honey.
730
00:47:56,982 --> 00:47:58,690
- Why didn't you lock the door?
- Jill, stop screaming.
731
00:47:58,776 --> 00:48:00,685
I didn't know you would come
barging in without knocking.
732
00:48:00,778 --> 00:48:03,150
Do you remember
how Desi used to spank Lucy?
733
00:48:03,239 --> 00:48:04,318
Yeah!
734
00:48:04,406 --> 00:48:06,695
I thought that I would grow up to
have a husband who spanked me.
735
00:48:06,784 --> 00:48:09,654
Oh! Do you know
what used to get to me was Catwoman.
736
00:48:09,745 --> 00:48:12,366
Remember... Remember she used to tie
people up?
737
00:48:12,456 --> 00:48:14,164
I told my parents
that when I watched that,
738
00:48:14,250 --> 00:48:15,660
it made me feel all funny inside.
739
00:48:15,751 --> 00:48:17,625
They made me stop watching it.
740
00:48:17,711 --> 00:48:20,037
Rachel and I have these cousins,
twin boys.
741
00:48:20,130 --> 00:48:22,538
And whenever they came over,
we used to play this secret game
742
00:48:22,633 --> 00:48:23,748
where they tied me up.
743
00:48:23,842 --> 00:48:25,882
I loved it! "Let me go, let me go!"
744
00:48:25,970 --> 00:48:28,721
Michael and Mitchell used to tie you up?
Where was I?
745
00:48:28,806 --> 00:48:32,139
I don't know. You were amusing the
adults with an impromptu piano recital.
746
00:48:32,226 --> 00:48:34,349
I didn't even masturbate
until after I had sex.
747
00:48:34,436 --> 00:48:36,809
Are you kidding?
I started when I was four.
748
00:48:36,897 --> 00:48:37,976
- Four?
- Four?
749
00:48:38,065 --> 00:48:40,603
My babysitter caught me
humping my Mother Goose book.
750
00:48:42,111 --> 00:48:45,065
I've never found a dick
as hard as that book.
751
00:48:45,614 --> 00:48:48,900
Hey, I never masturbated until I read
that book, Our Bodies, Ourselves.
752
00:48:48,993 --> 00:48:50,570
- Oh, I read that.
- I read that.
753
00:48:50,661 --> 00:48:52,986
I had to get out a mirror
and find my clitoris and everything!
754
00:48:53,080 --> 00:48:54,539
Did you really do that?
755
00:48:54,623 --> 00:48:55,904
I couldn't find it.
756
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,917
- Is it clitoris or is it clitoris?
- Clitoris.
757
00:48:59,003 --> 00:49:00,331
Wanna know something else?
758
00:49:00,421 --> 00:49:03,125
I don't think I've ever had an orgasm
during sex.
759
00:49:03,215 --> 00:49:04,378
- Really?
- What!
760
00:49:04,466 --> 00:49:06,258
I don't think so.
761
00:49:06,343 --> 00:49:09,546
You know, I bet those systems analysts
are talking about sex right now.
762
00:49:09,930 --> 00:49:13,346
What's the least amount of money
you would stick your hand in a toilet for?
763
00:49:13,434 --> 00:49:16,968
That depends! We talking about
my toilet or somebody else's toilet?
764
00:49:17,062 --> 00:49:19,055
Yeah, and is it clean
or does it have turds floating in it?
765
00:49:19,148 --> 00:49:22,564
We're talking about a clean public toilet.
Would you go after a quarter?
766
00:49:22,651 --> 00:49:25,403
- No, I wouldn't go after a quarter.
- Would you go after $5?
767
00:49:25,487 --> 00:49:26,946
- No.
- I'd go after $5.
768
00:49:27,031 --> 00:49:28,489
- How about $10?
- No.
769
00:49:28,574 --> 00:49:30,448
How about $20?
770
00:49:30,534 --> 00:49:31,649
Yes.
771
00:49:31,744 --> 00:49:34,413
I don't really like vibrators.
They make me feel awkward.
772
00:49:34,496 --> 00:49:36,074
Yeah, I've never owned a vibrator.
773
00:49:36,165 --> 00:49:38,205
Did you know that Mom sent me one
when I was at UCLA
774
00:49:38,208 --> 00:49:39,240
and Tom dumped me?
775
00:49:39,335 --> 00:49:41,327
Mother sent you a vibrator?
776
00:49:41,420 --> 00:49:44,125
She wanted me to be satisfied
but not sleep around.
777
00:49:44,214 --> 00:49:47,050
My gosh! My mom
would never send me a vibrator.
778
00:49:47,134 --> 00:49:48,712
Oh, she'd just gotten divorced.
779
00:49:48,802 --> 00:49:51,091
She was going through her...
780
00:49:52,014 --> 00:49:53,971
She never sent me a vibrator.
781
00:49:54,058 --> 00:49:56,015
I believe you were too busy
comforting Daddy
782
00:49:56,101 --> 00:49:57,679
and not speaking to her at the time.
783
00:49:57,770 --> 00:49:59,478
Well, somebody had to.
He was devastated.
784
00:49:59,563 --> 00:50:01,105
Oh, thank God
his favourite daughter was around.
785
00:50:01,190 --> 00:50:02,814
Oh, let's please not start that.
786
00:50:02,900 --> 00:50:04,098
You know what?
787
00:50:04,193 --> 00:50:06,269
I used to have this little pillow
when I was little
788
00:50:06,362 --> 00:50:07,607
with a little happy face on it
789
00:50:07,696 --> 00:50:10,863
and I used to make out with it
and pretend it was David Cassidy.
790
00:50:10,950 --> 00:50:13,357
- You were obsessed with him!
- We all were.
791
00:50:13,869 --> 00:50:17,404
You know, I had the most erotic dream
about him once.
792
00:50:17,623 --> 00:50:19,366
I did. I know it doesn't sound like much,
793
00:50:19,458 --> 00:50:23,242
but it's probably
the sexiest dream I ever had.
794
00:50:24,088 --> 00:50:25,368
So? Come on.
795
00:50:25,547 --> 00:50:27,006
Well...
796
00:50:27,091 --> 00:50:32,216
He's at the top
of this really long flight of stairs.
797
00:50:32,513 --> 00:50:35,348
And I felt like I had to climb forever.
798
00:50:35,849 --> 00:50:40,844
And then when I got there,
he was wearing these leather pants
799
00:50:40,938 --> 00:50:42,397
and his
800
00:50:42,481 --> 00:50:44,355
thing was out.
801
00:50:47,361 --> 00:50:49,318
It was really big.
802
00:50:51,115 --> 00:50:53,191
How big was it?
803
00:50:56,495 --> 00:50:57,870
What?
804
00:50:59,373 --> 00:51:00,748
What?
805
00:51:01,208 --> 00:51:04,292
It's hard to explain
but it was really erotic.
806
00:51:04,378 --> 00:51:08,672
I had this dream that I had sex
with Andy Rooney in a bathtub!
807
00:51:09,341 --> 00:51:11,049
Disgusting.
808
00:51:11,176 --> 00:51:13,335
You know what I loved
about David Cassidy?
809
00:51:13,429 --> 00:51:15,386
He had no visible body hair.
810
00:51:15,472 --> 00:51:16,931
You know,
I remember thinking when I was little
811
00:51:17,016 --> 00:51:20,349
that I'd never like one of those
big furry grown-ups like my father.
812
00:51:20,436 --> 00:51:23,009
- Like your husband, you mean.
- I was just about to say that.
813
00:51:23,105 --> 00:51:24,564
Hey! Shut up!
814
00:51:24,648 --> 00:51:27,483
- At least he's not bald.
- Hey, come on, Jerry's not bald.
815
00:51:27,568 --> 00:51:30,355
- His hairline's very distinctive.
- Oh, God, she's defending him.
816
00:51:30,446 --> 00:51:32,023
He's not bald!
817
00:51:32,197 --> 00:51:34,653
All right, wait,
I was gonna say something.
818
00:51:34,742 --> 00:51:37,908
Oh, yes. Please say something.
You've been so quiet all evening.
819
00:51:38,329 --> 00:51:39,574
God.
820
00:51:39,872 --> 00:51:41,995
You know, there are some hairy men
that I find attractive.
821
00:51:42,082 --> 00:51:43,742
How about Sonny in The Godfather?
822
00:51:43,834 --> 00:51:45,993
Oh, yes, up against the door, page 27.
823
00:51:46,086 --> 00:51:47,746
- 26.
- No, 27.
824
00:51:47,838 --> 00:51:51,124
I used to read it on the phone
to Brad Fertini in junior high school.
825
00:51:51,216 --> 00:51:53,790
- Oh, I remember him!
- He made me, over and over again.
826
00:51:53,886 --> 00:51:55,925
He had bad skin, right?
827
00:51:58,724 --> 00:52:00,551
You know, there's something
about those gangsters
828
00:52:00,643 --> 00:52:02,101
that was such a turn-on.
829
00:52:02,186 --> 00:52:04,143
That was
my biggest masturbation fantasy
830
00:52:04,229 --> 00:52:06,056
when I was in high school.
831
00:52:13,155 --> 00:52:17,367
I picture that den in The Godfather
with all those men in it.
832
00:52:18,077 --> 00:52:21,742
I've cheated on the Don's son
and the family finds out.
833
00:52:22,206 --> 00:52:24,448
So they bring me into the room
834
00:52:24,541 --> 00:52:28,491
and the Don decides
I must be punished.
835
00:53:33,444 --> 00:53:37,821
Sometimes he rubs an ice cube
on my butt because it's so sore.
836
00:53:38,157 --> 00:53:40,944
Gee, thanks for sharing.
837
00:53:41,535 --> 00:53:44,821
I can't believe
you just told that to everybody.
838
00:53:45,748 --> 00:53:47,824
What do you mean everybody?
839
00:53:47,917 --> 00:53:50,039
Jeez, I've known you guys
practically my whole life.
840
00:53:50,127 --> 00:53:52,879
I can't share one little sex fantasy?
841
00:53:53,464 --> 00:53:56,215
You know, that is why
we are so messed up.
842
00:53:56,300 --> 00:53:58,257
Because we're too ashamed
to reveal ourselves.
843
00:53:58,344 --> 00:54:02,044
That's why my fantasy is about
being punished, because I'm ashamed.
844
00:54:02,139 --> 00:54:03,681
Don't you get it?
845
00:54:03,849 --> 00:54:05,809
I mean, we're women,
so we're supposed to be pure.
846
00:54:05,851 --> 00:54:07,262
- We're not supposed to have fantasies.
- Calm down.
847
00:54:07,353 --> 00:54:08,515
Calm down. Calm down!
848
00:54:08,604 --> 00:54:09,802
We're supposed to be
up on this pedestal.
849
00:54:09,897 --> 00:54:12,602
Calm down. I'm glad that you told it.
850
00:54:13,067 --> 00:54:16,934
Yes, it's very reassuring to know
that there's someone else
851
00:54:17,029 --> 00:54:19,354
who is a little bit
more of a pervert than I am.
852
00:54:19,448 --> 00:54:21,026
I am not a pervert!
853
00:54:21,116 --> 00:54:24,735
Okay, okay, okay. I'm kidding.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding. All right?
854
00:54:24,870 --> 00:54:26,827
- Men like to be spanked, too.
- That's right.
855
00:54:26,914 --> 00:54:30,081
I mean, it's that whole dominatrix thing.
It's very, very common.
856
00:54:30,167 --> 00:54:31,282
Maybe in England.
857
00:54:31,377 --> 00:54:34,828
But I don't like being the spanker.
I only like to be the spankee.
858
00:54:34,922 --> 00:54:37,413
- I like getting a spanking.
- Why?
859
00:54:37,508 --> 00:54:39,797
It's fun. Me and Jamie do it all the time.
860
00:54:39,885 --> 00:54:42,672
I don't want to get spanked. It hurts.
861
00:54:42,805 --> 00:54:46,090
- Your parents spank you?
- Yeah, my dad does.
862
00:54:48,185 --> 00:54:50,676
- You wanna see something?
- Okay.
863
00:54:54,608 --> 00:54:56,268
Where'd you get this?
864
00:54:56,360 --> 00:54:58,685
It was in your dad's bedroom,
in the cupboard.
865
00:54:58,779 --> 00:55:01,614
Jill, put it back.
We're gonna get in trouble.
866
00:55:01,699 --> 00:55:04,902
- Why?
- 'Cause those magazines are for men.
867
00:55:05,536 --> 00:55:06,816
So?
868
00:55:11,750 --> 00:55:14,870
- Look at her boobies.
- They're gross.
869
00:55:15,462 --> 00:55:17,538
Men like them like that.
870
00:55:36,942 --> 00:55:39,101
Where did you get this magazine?
871
00:55:39,194 --> 00:55:41,602
- It was in your husband's bathroom.
- What?
872
00:55:41,822 --> 00:55:45,025
- I was looking for toilet...
- Jill, you go home.
873
00:55:45,117 --> 00:55:46,232
Git!
874
00:55:46,327 --> 00:55:50,823
And you, young lady, can stay in
your room until your father gets home.
875
00:55:51,081 --> 00:55:52,457
God!
876
00:55:55,461 --> 00:55:58,034
Bend over and pull down your pants.
877
00:55:59,924 --> 00:56:01,715
Do you think people
have spanking fantasies
878
00:56:01,800 --> 00:56:04,374
in countries
that don't use corporal punishment?
879
00:56:04,470 --> 00:56:06,712
I have a domination fantasy.
880
00:56:07,723 --> 00:56:09,134
Do tell.
881
00:56:09,725 --> 00:56:12,133
I make my cretin supervisor
clean the bathroom.
882
00:56:13,979 --> 00:56:17,680
Rachel, that's an intellectual fantasy,
not a sexual one.
883
00:56:18,901 --> 00:56:20,181
Well...
884
00:56:23,572 --> 00:56:24,901
I guess.
885
00:56:25,282 --> 00:56:28,069
My therapist says that
acting out some fantasies
886
00:56:28,160 --> 00:56:30,160
with a partner you trust
is actually quite healthy.
887
00:56:30,246 --> 00:56:32,915
- As long as nobody gets hurt.
- Right.
888
00:56:33,540 --> 00:56:35,782
You know,
Randy likes playing those games.
889
00:56:35,876 --> 00:56:37,750
Really? What does he do, paint you?
890
00:56:37,836 --> 00:56:41,502
No. No, he's an actor,
891
00:56:41,590 --> 00:56:45,125
so he likes to get into character
and pretend we're different people.
892
00:56:45,678 --> 00:56:48,216
One time, he played doctor,
893
00:56:48,555 --> 00:56:51,343
and he shaved off all my pubic hair.
894
00:56:52,226 --> 00:56:53,768
It was really erotic at the time,
895
00:56:53,852 --> 00:56:56,426
but now it's growing back in
and it's really itchy.
896
00:56:56,522 --> 00:57:00,472
I let this guy do it to me once and
I forgot and I went to get a Pap smear.
897
00:57:00,734 --> 00:57:02,691
It was so embarrassing!
898
00:57:02,945 --> 00:57:05,068
I didn't know anything embarrassed you.
899
00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:07,907
- I had a crush on my gynaecologist.
- Oh, that's gross.
900
00:57:07,992 --> 00:57:12,321
Can we please talk about something
other than sex for five minutes?
901
00:57:16,709 --> 00:57:18,666
Okay, fine. Let's talk about sex.
902
00:57:18,752 --> 00:57:20,828
What is wrong with talking about sex?
903
00:57:20,921 --> 00:57:23,591
- Don't you think about sex?
- Of course, I do.
904
00:57:23,674 --> 00:57:25,501
So, what turns you on?
905
00:57:25,593 --> 00:57:27,751
Right. You'll just make fun of me.
906
00:57:27,845 --> 00:57:29,588
No, I really wanna know. I won't.
907
00:57:29,680 --> 00:57:31,680
Well, I don't have anything
that compares to yours.
908
00:57:31,682 --> 00:57:35,015
- Oh, come on. Rachel, spill it.
- Rachel, come on.
909
00:57:36,437 --> 00:57:37,847
All right.
910
00:57:38,397 --> 00:57:39,891
Don't laugh.
911
00:57:41,901 --> 00:57:44,308
But it has to do with shopping.
912
00:57:45,195 --> 00:57:47,900
I admit I'm a bit of a materialist!
913
00:57:48,824 --> 00:57:53,652
Anyway, this man takes me
to a really expensive store,
914
00:57:53,746 --> 00:57:57,245
and he picks clothes out for me.
915
00:57:59,335 --> 00:58:03,284
He is completely in control.
916
00:58:04,089 --> 00:58:05,584
And he decides everything,
917
00:58:05,674 --> 00:58:08,675
right down to the Christian Dior teddy.
918
00:58:10,763 --> 00:58:13,135
And then he
919
00:58:15,893 --> 00:58:18,051
makes me model everything.
920
00:58:26,070 --> 00:58:27,480
That's it?
921
00:58:29,114 --> 00:58:30,443
That...
922
00:58:31,200 --> 00:58:33,192
You masturbate to that?
923
00:58:33,285 --> 00:58:34,483
I didn't say that.
924
00:58:34,578 --> 00:58:37,116
I'm just trying to figure out
at what point do you come?
925
00:58:37,206 --> 00:58:39,329
When the clerk says,
926
00:58:39,416 --> 00:58:42,832
"That'll be $2,750"?
927
00:58:46,090 --> 00:58:49,624
Will you stop making... See, I can't
tell anything in front of Jill.
928
00:58:50,219 --> 00:58:54,762
I'm sorry. I'm just trying to figure out
how we turned out so different.
929
00:58:54,848 --> 00:58:57,221
No, really. Seriously, Rachel, I mean.
930
00:58:57,309 --> 00:58:59,800
Do you really think
that's a masturbation fantasy?
931
00:58:59,895 --> 00:59:01,520
I never said that.
932
00:59:01,605 --> 00:59:03,812
What, you don't masturbate?
933
00:59:04,775 --> 00:59:06,981
Well, as a matter of fact, I don't.
934
00:59:07,069 --> 00:59:08,563
- Really?
- Never?
935
00:59:08,654 --> 00:59:10,374
What's the big deal?
I just never wanted to.
936
00:59:10,447 --> 00:59:13,733
I just don't like touching myself there.
937
00:59:14,577 --> 00:59:15,952
How can we be sisters?
938
00:59:16,036 --> 00:59:18,325
You know,
my mother doesn't masturbate.
939
00:59:18,414 --> 00:59:20,786
- How do you know?
- We tell each other everything.
940
00:59:20,874 --> 00:59:24,493
I mean, she has no sex life,
not since my parents got divorced.
941
00:59:24,587 --> 00:59:27,541
- And she doesn't masturbate.
- That's a generational thing.
942
00:59:27,631 --> 00:59:31,047
- I think that's sad.
- I think a lot of women are like that.
943
00:59:31,135 --> 00:59:33,460
You know,
my mother never talks about sex.
944
00:59:33,554 --> 00:59:37,053
But she did tell me once that
she thinks that oral sex is disgusting.
945
00:59:37,141 --> 00:59:41,435
- Oh, I had my first orgasm with oral sex.
- Me, too, after the prom.
946
00:59:41,520 --> 00:59:43,845
You know, I think I was allergic
to Mark's sperm.
947
00:59:43,939 --> 00:59:46,015
When it got on my face,
it gave me a rash.
948
00:59:46,108 --> 00:59:48,860
I kind of enjoyed giving head to men.
949
00:59:49,236 --> 00:59:51,774
- So which is better?
- Men or women?
950
00:59:55,826 --> 00:59:58,578
I don't know. They're very different.
951
00:59:59,079 --> 01:00:01,784
I really enjoyed having sex with men,
but I...
952
01:00:02,041 --> 01:00:05,374
I would have to say
that I prefer sex with women. It's...
953
01:00:05,502 --> 01:00:07,942
Women are great. I think
they're great in every way, you know.
954
01:00:07,963 --> 01:00:12,091
Sexually and emotionally
I feel more of a bond with women. I do.
955
01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:15,799
I mean, sex is sex,
956
01:00:15,888 --> 01:00:19,588
but I guess when it's all over
I would rather hang out with a woman.
957
01:00:22,519 --> 01:00:24,227
You know, I think I like hanging out
with you guys
958
01:00:24,313 --> 01:00:26,804
better than any guy I've ever dated.
959
01:00:26,899 --> 01:00:28,061
Yeah.
960
01:00:35,532 --> 01:00:37,739
- I need some sugar.
- I should check my machine.
961
01:00:37,826 --> 01:00:38,822
More chocolate.
962
01:00:41,038 --> 01:00:43,494
- Oh, my God, Randy called.
- So?
963
01:00:43,999 --> 01:00:47,285
- He's furious.
- Well, don't let him intimidate you.
964
01:00:47,378 --> 01:00:51,126
Could you grab the napkins
and the ice cream, please?
965
01:00:51,215 --> 01:00:53,884
- I'll just get this out of the way.
- That is so beautiful.
966
01:00:53,968 --> 01:00:56,506
- Did Chris make that?
- Yep.
967
01:00:56,720 --> 01:00:58,547
She is so talented.
968
01:01:00,266 --> 01:01:02,388
Jerome loves carrot cake.
969
01:01:03,227 --> 01:01:04,935
Oh, screw him.
970
01:01:05,020 --> 01:01:07,476
You're not really
gonna cancel your wedding, are you?
971
01:01:07,564 --> 01:01:09,023
Ice cream's melting.
972
01:01:10,693 --> 01:01:12,602
Jesus, Marcy.
973
01:01:13,112 --> 01:01:15,947
He said on my machine
he was gonna call me here.
974
01:01:16,031 --> 01:01:18,522
- It's not Randy.
- That's creepy.
975
01:01:18,617 --> 01:01:21,025
Maybe we should call the police.
976
01:01:21,120 --> 01:01:22,400
Hello?
977
01:01:23,539 --> 01:01:25,745
- No, Randy, she's not here.
- Oh, my gosh.
978
01:01:26,875 --> 01:01:29,580
Well, I don't care
if you did see her car in the driveway.
979
01:01:29,670 --> 01:01:31,350
Look, if you show your face
on my property,
980
01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:35,799
I'll have you arrested so fast
that your head will spin. Now, goodbye.
981
01:01:35,884 --> 01:01:38,506
- Slumber party massacre.
- What're we gonna do?
982
01:01:38,596 --> 01:01:40,884
No, nothing. He's all bark, honey.
983
01:01:40,973 --> 01:01:43,760
You don't understand. He... He... He...
984
01:01:43,851 --> 01:01:46,520
- What?
- He threatened to blackmail me.
985
01:01:46,604 --> 01:01:48,228
- About what?
- What?
986
01:01:48,314 --> 01:01:50,520
You guys, I did something so stupid.
987
01:01:50,608 --> 01:01:53,395
- What? What is it?
- Marcy, what?
988
01:01:54,653 --> 01:01:56,812
I can't tell you. It's too embarrassing.
989
01:01:56,906 --> 01:01:59,693
- Come on, you gotta be kidding.
- Marcy.
990
01:02:00,034 --> 01:02:03,070
It was so stupid. It was just so stupid.
991
01:02:03,996 --> 01:02:05,194
What?
992
01:02:05,706 --> 01:02:08,162
I let him take pictures of me.
993
01:02:08,500 --> 01:02:10,707
Really explicit pictures.
994
01:02:10,836 --> 01:02:13,505
- Oh, Marcy.
- That was not a good idea.
995
01:02:13,589 --> 01:02:15,416
Oh, thanks, Mom.
996
01:02:15,549 --> 01:02:18,918
He threatened to mail them
to my parents!
997
01:02:19,845 --> 01:02:22,004
I am the stupidest person
that ever lived.
998
01:02:22,097 --> 01:02:24,256
How could I have ever liked him?
What's wrong with me?
999
01:02:24,350 --> 01:02:28,015
My parents would have a heart attack
if they even knew I was seeing him.
1000
01:02:28,187 --> 01:02:30,179
How could you go
from a nice, normal attorney
1001
01:02:30,272 --> 01:02:31,517
to a psychotic house painter?
1002
01:02:31,607 --> 01:02:35,272
- Oh, Mark was a scumbag.
- Oh, God, I know.
1003
01:02:36,028 --> 01:02:38,353
I can't believe I wasted six years on him.
1004
01:02:38,447 --> 01:02:40,404
What did poor Mark do?
1005
01:02:41,116 --> 01:02:43,358
Oh, it's so unsavoury.
1006
01:02:46,538 --> 01:02:47,914
You know, after all those years
1007
01:02:47,998 --> 01:02:52,744
of refusing to really commit to our
relationship but still stringing me along,
1008
01:02:52,878 --> 01:02:57,125
I found out something really awful
about him.
1009
01:02:57,258 --> 01:02:58,752
- What?
- What?
1010
01:03:00,886 --> 01:03:04,469
Oh, he was getting hand jobs
at a massage parlour in Van Nuys.
1011
01:03:04,556 --> 01:03:06,264
Are you serious?
1012
01:03:06,684 --> 01:03:10,468
Yeah, he said it helped him relax
after his racquetball games.
1013
01:03:10,562 --> 01:03:13,136
That's awful. How did you find out?
1014
01:03:13,232 --> 01:03:15,059
When I was doing his taxes.
1015
01:03:15,150 --> 01:03:17,439
He saved the receipts
to write off as a business expense.
1016
01:03:17,528 --> 01:03:19,271
What a scum!
1017
01:03:19,989 --> 01:03:21,862
That's not deductible.
1018
01:03:21,949 --> 01:03:25,152
- I never liked him.
- My parents were in love with him.
1019
01:03:25,244 --> 01:03:27,236
Oh, forget about your parents
for God's sakes.
1020
01:03:27,329 --> 01:03:31,409
You know, that is your problem.
You've been a good girl your whole life.
1021
01:03:31,875 --> 01:03:33,749
I guess that's true.
1022
01:03:40,593 --> 01:03:44,092
When I was a little girl,
we'd go on road trips.
1023
01:03:44,179 --> 01:03:48,094
My mother used to always tell me
never to use a rest stop alone,
1024
01:03:48,183 --> 01:03:51,802
'cause there might be a rapist in there
waiting for me.
1025
01:04:02,281 --> 01:04:06,326
It's so weird but something about
the idea of my very own rapist
1026
01:04:06,410 --> 01:04:08,486
used to really excite me.
1027
01:04:09,747 --> 01:04:14,456
Sometimes I'd imagine myself,
all grown up and traveling alone.
1028
01:04:15,336 --> 01:04:19,416
And I had to pee so bad
I just couldn't help it.
1029
01:04:35,272 --> 01:04:37,894
I've been waiting for you, darling.
1030
01:04:38,734 --> 01:04:40,477
Isn't that awful?
1031
01:04:41,195 --> 01:04:43,816
I didn't even know what a rapist was.
1032
01:04:43,906 --> 01:04:48,283
He just kissed me and then asked
if he could watch me pee.
1033
01:04:49,245 --> 01:04:53,194
Did you know that on my soap,
the rapist got the most fan mail
1034
01:04:53,791 --> 01:04:54,905
from women?
1035
01:04:55,000 --> 01:04:59,662
Well, look at Luke on General Hospital.
Laura married him after he raped her.
1036
01:04:59,755 --> 01:05:01,795
Yeah, and then
he became the biggest deal.
1037
01:05:01,882 --> 01:05:02,913
That's weird.
1038
01:05:03,008 --> 01:05:05,048
You know what really bugs me
is in the movies,
1039
01:05:05,135 --> 01:05:08,836
you always see little boys jerking off
to dirty postcards and everything,
1040
01:05:08,931 --> 01:05:12,300
but you never see
any little girls have any sexuality at all.
1041
01:05:12,393 --> 01:05:16,521
- That would scare people.
- It's just like that whole stripper thing.
1042
01:05:17,106 --> 01:05:20,391
I mean, I really thought
that Jerry was evolved,
1043
01:05:20,693 --> 01:05:23,231
but he is out there, as we speak,
1044
01:05:23,320 --> 01:05:26,405
oogling some unemployed actress
in a dirty thong.
1045
01:05:26,490 --> 01:05:29,444
- Ogling.
- How did we get back on this subject?
1046
01:05:29,535 --> 01:05:33,235
You guys, should I call over there
and see if she's been there yet?
1047
01:05:33,330 --> 01:05:34,659
- Yes.
- No.
1048
01:05:34,790 --> 01:05:36,332
I'm going to.
1049
01:05:40,087 --> 01:05:43,290
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God!
1050
01:05:43,382 --> 01:05:45,007
- The bridesmaid's dress.
- That is hideous.
1051
01:05:45,092 --> 01:05:46,693
How did we ever go out in public
in that?
1052
01:05:46,760 --> 01:05:49,548
- Where did you find it?
- Mothball section.
1053
01:06:04,111 --> 01:06:07,147
You guys been talking about sex
all evening?
1054
01:06:09,074 --> 01:06:12,574
I kept hearing
little snatches of your conversation.
1055
01:06:12,703 --> 01:06:14,696
No pun intended.
1056
01:06:15,581 --> 01:06:18,202
It was giving me the wildest dreams.
1057
01:06:19,043 --> 01:06:20,323
Oh, hello.
1058
01:06:20,419 --> 01:06:24,120
I sent one of my girls over this evening
to do a strip for a few gentlemen.
1059
01:06:24,214 --> 01:06:26,884
I just wanted to know
if she arrived there okay.
1060
01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:29,551
I think I see her.
1061
01:06:30,095 --> 01:06:31,210
Cute.
1062
01:06:32,806 --> 01:06:36,674
Chris, your cake is fabulous.
I can't stop eating it.
1063
01:06:36,769 --> 01:06:39,972
Well, that's it.
The wedding's off, and I mean it.
1064
01:06:40,773 --> 01:06:41,935
What was that?
1065
01:06:47,446 --> 01:06:50,400
Oh, my God, it's Randy's El Camino.
He's here.
1066
01:06:51,033 --> 01:06:52,492
He's here.
1067
01:06:52,868 --> 01:06:55,240
- I said he's here! What're we gonna do?
- Call the police.
1068
01:06:55,329 --> 01:06:56,408
Who is it?
1069
01:06:56,497 --> 01:06:58,288
That bozo
who wanted to paint the house.
1070
01:06:58,374 --> 01:06:59,975
He wants to paint the house
at this hour?
1071
01:07:00,042 --> 01:07:01,417
No, he's been stalking Marcy.
1072
01:07:01,502 --> 01:07:05,037
- Whoever he is, he's in the backyard.
- That little fucker! I'm gonna get him.
1073
01:07:05,130 --> 01:07:07,123
- Oh, my God.
- Chris, no!
1074
01:07:07,216 --> 01:07:08,793
I got pepper spray!
1075
01:07:11,178 --> 01:07:12,341
You're dead!
1076
01:07:13,013 --> 01:07:16,133
Chris, oh, my God, that's the pool man.
1077
01:07:16,225 --> 01:07:18,134
- Jesus!
- Are you okay?
1078
01:07:18,227 --> 01:07:19,258
That's not Randy.
1079
01:07:20,229 --> 01:07:22,601
Here, why don't you
have some carrot cake?
1080
01:07:22,690 --> 01:07:25,097
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.
1081
01:07:25,568 --> 01:07:27,477
- Here, Chris baked it.
- This is my favourite.
1082
01:07:28,028 --> 01:07:29,606
- It's delicious.
- I'm sorry.
1083
01:07:29,697 --> 01:07:32,532
- We thought you were someone else.
- Who, the bogeyman?
1084
01:07:32,616 --> 01:07:36,281
- No, a friend of Marcy's.
- He's not really a friend of mine.
1085
01:07:36,370 --> 01:07:39,371
- He's actually my house painter.
- Oh, you naughty girl.
1086
01:07:39,456 --> 01:07:42,790
You wanna see a picture of him?
I just happen to have one handy.
1087
01:07:43,168 --> 01:07:45,208
So, now he's basically stalking me.
1088
01:07:46,380 --> 01:07:48,586
He's cute.
1089
01:07:48,674 --> 01:07:50,750
- Who is it?
- Oh, God, he's here.
1090
01:07:50,843 --> 01:07:52,503
Jesus, I'll get it.
1091
01:07:52,595 --> 01:07:55,050
I'd better handle this. She'll kill him.
1092
01:07:58,058 --> 01:07:59,932
May I help you?
1093
01:08:00,352 --> 01:08:03,139
- Who the hell are you?
- Mr French.
1094
01:08:03,230 --> 01:08:04,261
Where's Marcy?
1095
01:08:04,356 --> 01:08:06,894
She's taking a long hot soak in the tub,
1096
01:08:06,984 --> 01:08:09,771
and she's not receiving
any gentleman callers.
1097
01:08:09,862 --> 01:08:11,653
What are you, some kind of a fag?
1098
01:08:12,031 --> 01:08:14,700
Tell Marcy
to get her butt out here right now.
1099
01:08:14,783 --> 01:08:16,859
Listen, you little soap opera reject,
1100
01:08:16,952 --> 01:08:19,622
if you come near that woman again
1101
01:08:19,705 --> 01:08:22,789
I'm gonna smash your
pretty little face in. Do you understand?
1102
01:08:22,875 --> 01:08:25,282
Right, just let me go, all right?
1103
01:08:25,544 --> 01:08:26,742
Slut.
1104
01:08:31,800 --> 01:08:33,840
And I really loved her.
1105
01:08:35,804 --> 01:08:37,263
Marcy!
1106
01:08:38,098 --> 01:08:39,806
Hey, Marcy!
1107
01:08:40,684 --> 01:08:43,010
Oh, God, he's a method actor.
1108
01:08:43,437 --> 01:08:44,812
Marcy!
1109
01:08:45,439 --> 01:08:47,182
- Marcy!
- Don't!
1110
01:08:47,483 --> 01:08:48,941
He is cute.
1111
01:08:49,777 --> 01:08:50,975
Randy.
1112
01:08:52,905 --> 01:08:57,116
What's your problem?
You won't even take my calls. Why?
1113
01:08:57,576 --> 01:08:59,569
What, all of a sudden
I have cooties now?
1114
01:08:59,662 --> 01:09:02,912
No. No. No. It's just that I...
1115
01:09:02,998 --> 01:09:06,782
I told you once already how I feel
and it's kind of hard for me to...
1116
01:09:06,877 --> 01:09:08,537
Blow people off?
1117
01:09:09,088 --> 01:09:11,495
Look, Randy, I don't know
why you're so upset.
1118
01:09:11,590 --> 01:09:15,670
I didn't sense that much of
an emotional involvement from you.
1119
01:09:15,761 --> 01:09:17,041
Really?
1120
01:09:17,596 --> 01:09:20,218
Well, you haven't been paying
much attention then, have you?
1121
01:09:20,307 --> 01:09:24,056
So, what, ultimately, I'm just
not good enough for you, is that it?
1122
01:09:24,478 --> 01:09:28,143
You know what? You don't really want to
be involved with me. I'm really a mess.
1123
01:09:28,232 --> 01:09:30,308
Christ, I hate that old line.
1124
01:09:30,401 --> 01:09:32,892
You don't wanna be involved with me
because your parents would shit
1125
01:09:32,987 --> 01:09:36,652
if they knew their little princess
was boning a house painter.
1126
01:09:37,366 --> 01:09:39,359
Well, you might not think
I have any potential,
1127
01:09:39,451 --> 01:09:40,994
but you're gonna feel pretty stupid
1128
01:09:41,078 --> 01:09:43,949
when I become famous and you see
you're gonna miss out big time.
1129
01:09:44,039 --> 01:09:45,747
I'm sure I will.
1130
01:09:46,542 --> 01:09:48,831
- Yeah, right.
- No, I'm...
1131
01:09:50,713 --> 01:09:55,339
Randy, I'm really sorry you're upset.
I didn't mean to hurt you.
1132
01:09:55,426 --> 01:09:56,884
You used me.
1133
01:09:56,969 --> 01:09:58,344
You just wanted to sleep with me
1134
01:09:58,429 --> 01:10:00,256
like I was some kind of a bimbo
or something.
1135
01:10:00,347 --> 01:10:02,091
No. No, I...
1136
01:10:02,641 --> 01:10:05,642
I just thought we were having fun.
1137
01:10:05,769 --> 01:10:07,679
Yeah, well, whatever.
1138
01:10:08,564 --> 01:10:10,473
You have a nice life.
1139
01:10:11,400 --> 01:10:13,108
Oh, you, too.
1140
01:10:13,193 --> 01:10:15,731
And good luck with your career.
1141
01:10:15,821 --> 01:10:19,155
I'll look forward
to seeing you on the big screen.
1142
01:10:23,537 --> 01:10:26,621
Can I have
a goodbye kiss or something?
1143
01:10:26,999 --> 01:10:28,659
Of course.
1144
01:10:35,174 --> 01:10:36,668
Who's that?
1145
01:10:37,635 --> 01:10:39,129
Brandy.
1146
01:10:42,348 --> 01:10:44,056
Well, take care.
1147
01:10:45,059 --> 01:10:46,968
Yeah, you, too, babe.
1148
01:11:04,286 --> 01:11:06,326
Now, let me get this straight,
sweetheart.
1149
01:11:06,413 --> 01:11:08,536
- You're dumping this gorgeous...
- Easy on the tequila, Marcy.
1150
01:11:08,624 --> 01:11:11,411
Very intelligent-looking man,
1151
01:11:11,502 --> 01:11:14,787
because his horny little friend
hired a stripper?
1152
01:11:14,880 --> 01:11:17,715
I just don't feel like
making myself vulnerable
1153
01:11:17,800 --> 01:11:19,128
to getting trashed again.
1154
01:11:19,218 --> 01:11:21,507
Why'd you get involved with him
in the first place?
1155
01:11:21,595 --> 01:11:25,889
Well, I keep thinking that I'll change,
that I'll get more secure.
1156
01:11:26,350 --> 01:11:31,178
It's so hard to risk
getting intimate time and time again.
1157
01:11:31,855 --> 01:11:35,853
Taking my clothes off
in front of somebody for the first time.
1158
01:11:36,527 --> 01:11:38,603
Explaining my breast implants.
1159
01:11:38,696 --> 01:11:41,613
- Those aren't real?
- No, unfortunately.
1160
01:11:42,491 --> 01:11:45,409
You know,
sometimes I imagine my coffin.
1161
01:11:45,703 --> 01:11:50,828
When the rest of me is decomposed,
there's these two little bags of silicone.
1162
01:11:52,334 --> 01:11:55,454
I mean, they're just sitting there
in that pine box.
1163
01:11:55,546 --> 01:11:57,123
- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh, Jesus.
1164
01:11:57,214 --> 01:12:01,259
You have every reason to be happy
right now and listen to you.
1165
01:12:01,635 --> 01:12:04,340
Do you think maybe
you're just not in love with Jerry?
1166
01:12:04,430 --> 01:12:06,837
He's the best guy I've ever been with!
1167
01:12:06,932 --> 01:12:12,057
I'd give anything in the world if I could
find a nice Jewish boy and settle down.
1168
01:12:13,230 --> 01:12:15,187
He's so cute
1169
01:12:15,274 --> 01:12:17,979
- with those round little glasses.
- Oh, God!
1170
01:12:19,445 --> 01:12:22,196
- You're so funny.
- Marcy.
1171
01:12:22,865 --> 01:12:25,782
It's been fun, girls. We must do it again.
1172
01:12:26,994 --> 01:12:28,536
He's so funny.
1173
01:12:28,621 --> 01:12:32,453
- You're drunk, girlfriend.
- Oh, no, I'm just relaxed.
1174
01:12:33,292 --> 01:12:37,337
Jamie, you marry that boy.
He sounds like heaven on a stick.
1175
01:12:38,047 --> 01:12:39,505
- Bye-bye.
- Take care.
1176
01:12:39,590 --> 01:12:40,870
Night.
1177
01:12:44,511 --> 01:12:47,382
Jill, that's Tina's blanket.
1178
01:12:47,556 --> 01:12:49,264
So? It's cosy.
1179
01:12:49,350 --> 01:12:50,844
That's gross.
1180
01:12:52,603 --> 01:12:55,770
Let's stick her hand in my ginger ale
and see if she pees.
1181
01:12:59,443 --> 01:13:03,227
Oh, she looks like a little child,
doesn't she?
1182
01:13:03,906 --> 01:13:07,073
Oh, lucky her to be so innocent!
1183
01:13:07,159 --> 01:13:09,365
- Marcy.
- Oh, God.
1184
01:13:09,453 --> 01:13:11,446
Give me that. Give it to me.
1185
01:13:11,622 --> 01:13:13,246
I'm so tired.
1186
01:13:13,666 --> 01:13:15,076
It's late.
1187
01:13:15,793 --> 01:13:17,916
It's time to hit the hay.
1188
01:13:19,129 --> 01:13:22,000
I can't believe he hasn't even called.
1189
01:13:24,385 --> 01:13:26,626
I didn't get any message
about a cancellation.
1190
01:13:26,720 --> 01:13:30,089
I'm sorry. We left it on your service.
1191
01:13:30,182 --> 01:13:32,471
I drove here
all the way from Simi Valley.
1192
01:13:33,394 --> 01:13:35,600
What, you guys
don't like the way I look?
1193
01:13:35,688 --> 01:13:37,597
No, no, no. No way.
1194
01:13:38,023 --> 01:13:40,016
You're terrific.
1195
01:13:40,734 --> 01:13:43,605
He just
doesn't want to upset his fiancée.
1196
01:13:44,947 --> 01:13:47,105
- Hey!
- Turn it off.
1197
01:13:47,533 --> 01:13:50,285
- It's the new direct digital sound.
- Look,
1198
01:13:51,287 --> 01:13:56,032
I'm sorry about the confusion.
Personally, I'd still like to see the show.
1199
01:13:56,584 --> 01:13:59,668
Well, then, when you get married,
why don't you give me a call?
1200
01:14:01,171 --> 01:14:03,627
Who is this? It's 3:00 a.m.
1201
01:14:05,926 --> 01:14:08,596
Hello? Hi, Jerry.
1202
01:14:11,390 --> 01:14:13,715
Yeah, hang on a second.
1203
01:14:18,939 --> 01:14:22,640
- Jamie, Jerry's on the phone.
- Tell him I hate him.
1204
01:14:22,735 --> 01:14:24,193
Jamie.
1205
01:14:32,953 --> 01:14:36,073
Your bathroom mirrors
are making me suicidal.
1206
01:14:36,916 --> 01:14:38,114
Hello?
1207
01:14:38,208 --> 01:14:39,833
Hey, you guys, listen,
1208
01:14:39,919 --> 01:14:42,560
I didn't want to tell you this before
because I was too embarrassed
1209
01:14:42,630 --> 01:14:44,254
- but you know what I did once?
- I'm allergic to down.
1210
01:14:44,340 --> 01:14:46,166
There are other blankets, Rachel.
1211
01:14:46,258 --> 01:14:47,658
You want me to get you another one?
1212
01:14:47,843 --> 01:14:50,381
What? You did?
1213
01:14:51,305 --> 01:14:53,381
Of course I believe you.
1214
01:14:53,849 --> 01:14:58,143
Oh, Jerry, do you really love me?
You do? I'm so sorry.
1215
01:14:58,228 --> 01:15:00,435
No, I am. I am sorry.
1216
01:15:00,522 --> 01:15:03,856
Of course, I still wanna marry you.
Don't be ridiculous.
1217
01:15:03,943 --> 01:15:05,769
It's just that...
1218
01:15:09,323 --> 01:15:10,402
Here's another comforter.
1219
01:15:10,491 --> 01:15:12,318
- It's not down.
- So, you guys, listen,
1220
01:15:12,618 --> 01:15:16,829
when I was about 12,
when I was first growing pubic hair,
1221
01:15:16,956 --> 01:15:22,033
I got out of the shower and it was all wet
and dripping, you know.
1222
01:15:22,962 --> 01:15:25,879
Honey, can you talk up? I can't hear.
1223
01:15:25,965 --> 01:15:28,420
And Tuffy, our dog,
1224
01:15:28,509 --> 01:15:31,842
started licking it because he was thirsty,
1225
01:15:33,013 --> 01:15:34,840
and I just let him.
1226
01:15:38,852 --> 01:15:39,932
Right on.
1227
01:15:40,020 --> 01:15:42,511
Well, we're all just sharing
our sex stories.
1228
01:15:42,606 --> 01:15:45,180
Oh, honey, I love you so much. I do.
1229
01:15:45,276 --> 01:15:48,894
I wish that I could come home right now
and hop into bed with you.
1230
01:15:49,321 --> 01:15:53,449
This whole sort of slumber party's
been fun but it's really exhausting.
1231
01:15:53,951 --> 01:15:58,245
And Rachel and Jill, they have been
going at it all night, as usual.
1232
01:15:59,123 --> 01:16:03,167
Oh, I can't sleep without you,
bunny face.
1233
01:16:03,252 --> 01:16:04,580
Bunny face.
1234
01:16:05,879 --> 01:16:07,042
Bye.
1235
01:16:12,970 --> 01:16:15,128
He canceled the stripper.
1236
01:16:15,806 --> 01:16:17,384
Good, bunny face.
1237
01:16:17,474 --> 01:16:20,096
Were you eavesdropping
on that whole conversation?
1238
01:16:20,185 --> 01:16:23,601
As a matter of fact,
I'm going to use the bathroom.
1239
01:16:26,191 --> 01:16:29,109
No, Marcy, no!
I haven't got the plug in yet.
1240
01:16:30,404 --> 01:16:32,064
Marcy, no. Cut it out.
1241
01:16:32,156 --> 01:16:33,436
I don't feel well.
1242
01:16:33,532 --> 01:16:34,943
Dibs on the sofa.
1243
01:16:35,034 --> 01:16:36,825
You always do that.
Why should you get the sofa?
1244
01:16:36,911 --> 01:16:39,662
- Motherhood takes precedence.
- Not if she isn't pregnant.
1245
01:16:39,747 --> 01:16:41,324
She is pregnant.
1246
01:16:48,422 --> 01:16:52,005
I'm sorry. I'm tired, Jill.
I totally spaced.
1247
01:16:52,092 --> 01:16:53,421
She hates me.
1248
01:16:53,844 --> 01:16:56,086
The wedding's back on.
1249
01:17:00,559 --> 01:17:03,596
He's such a good guy.
1250
01:17:03,687 --> 01:17:08,065
Even if he does only have one testicle,
he's a hell of a guy!
1251
01:17:08,525 --> 01:17:10,565
You are too much.
1252
01:17:11,153 --> 01:17:13,822
Great. Now everyone hates me.
1253
01:17:15,157 --> 01:17:16,984
I wonder why.
1254
01:17:17,618 --> 01:17:19,326
I don't feel very good.
1255
01:17:19,411 --> 01:17:21,321
I think I need some fresh air.
1256
01:17:27,711 --> 01:17:30,463
Rachel. Please come out.
1257
01:17:32,299 --> 01:17:35,384
She's hardly told anyone.
Rachel, come on.
1258
01:17:35,803 --> 01:17:37,511
Leave me alone.
1259
01:17:37,805 --> 01:17:40,474
Rachel, let me in.
1260
01:17:45,729 --> 01:17:47,188
Chris.
1261
01:17:47,439 --> 01:17:48,720
Jesus, man, what'd I do now?
1262
01:17:48,816 --> 01:17:52,101
Nothing. I'm trying to get Rachel
out of the bathroom. She's upset.
1263
01:17:52,194 --> 01:17:53,569
Right.
1264
01:17:54,863 --> 01:17:56,690
I'll see you in bed.
1265
01:17:56,865 --> 01:17:59,024
- I'm sleeping in the living room.
- What?
1266
01:17:59,118 --> 01:18:02,534
I'm the hostess for Christ's sake.
It's a slumber party.
1267
01:18:02,621 --> 01:18:06,322
- Why don't you just grow up?
- No, why don't you grow up?
1268
01:18:06,917 --> 01:18:09,455
Stop being so fucking possessive.
1269
01:18:09,962 --> 01:18:12,963
If you don't like it here, why don't you
just go live someplace else?
1270
01:18:13,048 --> 01:18:14,459
Fine.
1271
01:18:17,886 --> 01:18:19,085
Shit.
1272
01:18:19,179 --> 01:18:20,674
Rachel.
1273
01:18:20,764 --> 01:18:23,302
Open the fucking door. Let me in.
1274
01:18:40,284 --> 01:18:44,151
- I'm sorry I opened my big mouth.
- No, it's not your fault.
1275
01:18:46,790 --> 01:18:50,409
She always finds some way to
hurt me or exclude me
1276
01:18:50,502 --> 01:18:52,460
ever since we were born.
1277
01:18:52,546 --> 01:18:54,107
I mean, I'm her sister, for God's sake!
1278
01:18:54,131 --> 01:18:56,005
Why wouldn't she tell me
something that important?
1279
01:18:56,091 --> 01:18:57,171
Because she's confused.
1280
01:18:57,259 --> 01:18:59,133
She doesn't even know
what she's gonna do yet.
1281
01:18:59,219 --> 01:19:00,963
What do you mean,
what she's gonna do?
1282
01:19:01,055 --> 01:19:03,593
Well, she just got Noah
ready for preschool
1283
01:19:03,682 --> 01:19:07,217
and she wants to go back
to school herself, you know that.
1284
01:19:08,270 --> 01:19:10,642
She's not thinking of having an abortion.
1285
01:19:10,731 --> 01:19:12,292
Well, I don't know what she's thinking.
1286
01:19:12,316 --> 01:19:15,103
You know,
she hasn't even talked to Don yet.
1287
01:19:15,945 --> 01:19:19,029
She is so selfish
1288
01:19:19,281 --> 01:19:21,606
to even consider that!
1289
01:19:21,867 --> 01:19:23,361
Just for her own convenience?
1290
01:19:23,452 --> 01:19:25,575
You know,
that's why she didn't want to tell you.
1291
01:19:25,663 --> 01:19:29,032
I'm sorry. I can't understand
how anybody can do that.
1292
01:19:30,251 --> 01:19:31,793
You don't know
what it's like to be my age
1293
01:19:31,877 --> 01:19:34,629
and just watch your eggs
just walking away from you.
1294
01:19:39,260 --> 01:19:41,797
I want a baby more than anything.
1295
01:19:43,430 --> 01:19:44,759
Honey.
1296
01:19:45,933 --> 01:19:47,178
Okay.
1297
01:19:48,394 --> 01:19:51,181
But Jill's life is still her decision.
1298
01:19:53,857 --> 01:19:55,933
What makes you think
I don't understand, huh?
1299
01:19:56,026 --> 01:19:58,233
I want to have a baby, too.
1300
01:19:58,487 --> 01:20:00,278
How could you? I mean...
1301
01:20:00,364 --> 01:20:02,357
Rachel, give me a break.
1302
01:20:02,449 --> 01:20:06,068
I mean, haven't you ever heard
of a turkey baster for God's sake?
1303
01:20:07,746 --> 01:20:09,704
How does Chris feel?
1304
01:20:09,790 --> 01:20:11,450
Who knows?
1305
01:20:11,709 --> 01:20:13,950
I don't know how I feel
about Chris right now.
1306
01:20:14,044 --> 01:20:17,211
- I'm very confused about all that.
- About what?
1307
01:20:18,173 --> 01:20:22,041
Everything. I just don't know
what I really want right now.
1308
01:20:24,513 --> 01:20:27,882
You know, there's this guy
at work that I really like.
1309
01:20:29,101 --> 01:20:30,299
Really?
1310
01:20:30,394 --> 01:20:33,348
Yeah. And I find myself
thinking all kinds of stupid things.
1311
01:20:33,439 --> 01:20:37,816
You know, like how much easier my life
would be if I were straight, you know?
1312
01:20:37,902 --> 01:20:41,520
- How happy my mother would be.
- Oh, your mother.
1313
01:20:42,698 --> 01:20:45,236
She wasn't exactly a model mother.
1314
01:20:45,326 --> 01:20:47,817
Why do you care what she thinks?
1315
01:20:47,912 --> 01:20:49,738
- Yeah, well...
- I'm sorry.
1316
01:20:49,830 --> 01:20:51,490
It's okay.
1317
01:20:51,999 --> 01:20:55,332
It's just as well
I was here with my grandmother.
1318
01:20:55,461 --> 01:20:56,575
But, I mean, you know,
1319
01:20:56,670 --> 01:21:00,335
I might like to get married someday
and have kids.
1320
01:21:03,636 --> 01:21:05,178
I don't know.
1321
01:21:06,388 --> 01:21:10,220
Shit. I am just too old
to be this mixed up.
1322
01:21:12,603 --> 01:21:14,512
You poor thing.
1323
01:21:17,399 --> 01:21:21,349
I always think of you as
so calm and capable.
1324
01:21:24,240 --> 01:21:27,609
I always forget
that you could have problems, too.
1325
01:21:27,785 --> 01:21:29,327
I'm okay.
1326
01:21:36,794 --> 01:21:40,044
Let's go back in
and join the party, okay?
1327
01:21:40,256 --> 01:21:42,295
Come on. Come on.
1328
01:21:44,551 --> 01:21:46,094
Come on.
1329
01:21:46,387 --> 01:21:47,929
Okay.
1330
01:22:01,318 --> 01:22:03,892
I always wanted to be a ballerina.
1331
01:22:05,906 --> 01:22:08,314
I studied for 10 years.
1332
01:22:08,826 --> 01:22:11,577
Now I'm just a CPA with duck feet.
1333
01:22:14,582 --> 01:22:16,621
You got nice posture.
1334
01:22:16,750 --> 01:22:18,245
Thanks.
1335
01:22:19,461 --> 01:22:23,080
That's why my mother
wanted me to study it in the first place.
1336
01:22:24,300 --> 01:22:27,384
My mom, she tried
to get me to take dance.
1337
01:22:27,469 --> 01:22:29,509
I took bowling instead.
1338
01:22:29,805 --> 01:22:33,256
Wow. So you knew pretty young.
1339
01:22:35,477 --> 01:22:38,977
Well, you know, I mean that...
1340
01:22:41,775 --> 01:22:45,440
You know, Georgina was always
just like the rest of us.
1341
01:22:45,863 --> 01:22:49,030
Yeah. I know.
I know what you mean, you know.
1342
01:22:49,116 --> 01:22:51,572
She's bi, and I'm a dyke.
1343
01:22:53,662 --> 01:22:56,200
I knew I was gay when I was five.
1344
01:22:56,749 --> 01:23:00,414
I had this really big crush on
Barbara Eden from I Dream of Jeannie.
1345
01:23:00,502 --> 01:23:03,788
I love that show! Oh, I love that show!
1346
01:23:03,881 --> 01:23:06,372
I used to have this little Jeannie outfit.
1347
01:23:06,467 --> 01:23:08,874
I wanted to look just like her.
1348
01:23:10,804 --> 01:23:12,762
I wanted to marry her.
1349
01:23:13,349 --> 01:23:15,306
Is Barbara Eden gay?
1350
01:23:16,894 --> 01:23:19,811
I don't know.
She's not really my type any more.
1351
01:23:19,897 --> 01:23:21,771
Yeah.
1352
01:23:23,192 --> 01:23:25,481
She hasn't done much lately.
1353
01:23:27,029 --> 01:23:28,523
Anyway.
1354
01:23:33,452 --> 01:23:36,204
Do you know,
sometimes I've wished I was gay.
1355
01:23:37,248 --> 01:23:40,165
It seems like
it would be so much easier.
1356
01:23:40,960 --> 01:23:42,122
Why?
1357
01:23:42,711 --> 01:23:44,253
I don't know.
1358
01:23:44,964 --> 01:23:47,633
Because then
you wouldn't have to deal with men.
1359
01:23:47,716 --> 01:23:50,290
Women are so much easier
to get along with.
1360
01:23:50,386 --> 01:23:52,793
They're so much more diplomatic.
1361
01:23:56,016 --> 01:23:57,843
I've noticed.
1362
01:23:58,727 --> 01:24:02,262
I know, but they really love each other.
1363
01:24:03,565 --> 01:24:05,143
It's pretty much the same
when you're gay, you know?
1364
01:24:05,234 --> 01:24:08,401
You get in the same fights,
the same jealousy and stuff.
1365
01:24:08,612 --> 01:24:11,234
It's just less socially acceptable.
1366
01:24:12,658 --> 01:24:14,983
Hey, I have a gay third cousin in Seattle.
1367
01:24:15,077 --> 01:24:18,031
She married her lover in a big wedding.
1368
01:24:18,163 --> 01:24:20,571
They even registered for china.
1369
01:24:21,125 --> 01:24:24,042
My mom bought them
a whole place setting.
1370
01:24:25,087 --> 01:24:28,005
She's very impressed
with their families.
1371
01:24:32,136 --> 01:24:34,175
You seem really sad.
1372
01:24:39,893 --> 01:24:42,467
I think Georgina wants to break up.
1373
01:24:48,402 --> 01:24:49,600
You know, I've always envied you.
1374
01:24:49,695 --> 01:24:51,735
You have the perfect husband,
the perfect kid.
1375
01:24:51,822 --> 01:24:53,862
- What do I look like, Mrs Beaver?
- Cleaver.
1376
01:24:53,949 --> 01:24:56,820
Don't try to convince her she's happy,
Jamie. She'd rather be tragic.
1377
01:24:56,911 --> 01:24:59,199
Oh, listen to Miss Prozac.
1378
01:25:02,458 --> 01:25:05,874
Can't you ever keep your mouth shut
about anything?
1379
01:25:06,128 --> 01:25:08,915
I'm just so tired of her moods,
you know.
1380
01:25:09,757 --> 01:25:14,383
That's so amazing.
I never knew Georgina had moods.
1381
01:25:15,012 --> 01:25:17,681
Well, she's great with her friends.
1382
01:25:19,433 --> 01:25:21,307
It's just as a lover, you know, it's like,
1383
01:25:21,393 --> 01:25:24,394
"come here" one minute,
"go away" the next.
1384
01:25:25,397 --> 01:25:28,184
Plus, she's so smart, you know.
1385
01:25:29,151 --> 01:25:30,729
And beautiful.
1386
01:25:33,364 --> 01:25:35,736
I mean, you know, I'm...
1387
01:25:36,033 --> 01:25:37,527
I'm a baker.
1388
01:25:37,701 --> 01:25:40,323
I'm just a baker, and she's a chef.
1389
01:25:41,080 --> 01:25:43,867
I don't know what she saw in me
to begin with.
1390
01:25:43,958 --> 01:25:45,749
Oh, I do.
1391
01:25:46,335 --> 01:25:49,289
- I think you're very attractive.
- Please.
1392
01:25:49,380 --> 01:25:51,253
No, I do. I...
1393
01:25:51,715 --> 01:25:53,791
Hey, if I were a woman...
1394
01:25:55,636 --> 01:25:57,344
Or a lesbian...
1395
01:25:58,555 --> 01:26:00,513
You know what I mean.
1396
01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:05,812
I find you very attractive
because you seem so
1397
01:26:06,522 --> 01:26:09,227
comfortable with your sexuality.
1398
01:26:09,316 --> 01:26:11,724
You know, Georgina seems more
1399
01:26:12,778 --> 01:26:14,237
confused.
1400
01:26:15,573 --> 01:26:16,853
Really?
1401
01:26:17,074 --> 01:26:18,485
Oh, yeah.
1402
01:26:19,410 --> 01:26:21,901
Yeah, you have, like,
a self-awareness thing.
1403
01:26:21,996 --> 01:26:23,869
It's very appealing.
1404
01:26:24,999 --> 01:26:27,324
I wish I were more like that.
1405
01:26:31,797 --> 01:26:34,715
That's a very nice thing for you to say.
1406
01:27:01,076 --> 01:27:01,942
Where the hell is Chris?
1407
01:27:02,036 --> 01:27:03,945
What, you think I'm jealous of you?
Don't flatter yourself.
1408
01:27:04,038 --> 01:27:05,580
Stop! Just leave me alone
and stop picking on me.
1409
01:27:05,664 --> 01:27:06,993
You have been picking on me all night!
1410
01:27:07,082 --> 01:27:09,122
- She's been picking on everybody!
- Oh, fine!
1411
01:27:09,209 --> 01:27:12,163
Let's just all gang up on Jill
when I'm pregnant and I don't feel well!
1412
01:27:12,254 --> 01:27:15,208
- All right! All right! Walk away, Jill!
- Nobody's ganging up on you.
1413
01:27:15,299 --> 01:27:16,414
Yes, you are!
1414
01:27:16,508 --> 01:27:17,967
When you want something
you walk away from me.
1415
01:27:18,052 --> 01:27:20,091
- You're such a big baby.
- Here you are.
1416
01:27:20,846 --> 01:27:22,091
Yeah, what do you care?
1417
01:27:22,181 --> 01:27:25,181
You think I'm some spinster and you
have to lie to me so I don't fall apart?
1418
01:27:25,225 --> 01:27:26,601
I've been worried
and I've been looking for you.
1419
01:27:26,685 --> 01:27:27,965
Well, if the shoe fits, wear it!
1420
01:27:30,981 --> 01:27:34,481
Marcy, for God's sake,
it's 4:00 in the morning. Shut up!
1421
01:27:34,568 --> 01:27:37,522
- Stop telling her what to do.
- Chris, you shut up.
1422
01:27:37,613 --> 01:27:40,068
- You shut up.
- Hey, don't tell her to shut up!
1423
01:28:04,306 --> 01:28:07,556
- Come on in!
- Come on, get in!
1424
01:28:14,984 --> 01:28:18,684
- Chris, come on in.
- Rachel's wearing a bra!
1425
01:28:20,698 --> 01:28:22,406
Come on!
1426
01:30:02,383 --> 01:30:03,497
No!
1427
01:33:51,946 --> 01:33:55,065
Now look what you did, you stupid idiot.
1428
01:33:59,203 --> 01:34:01,195
I was talking about four...
1429
01:34:01,288 --> 01:34:02,866
Watch out, Marcy!
1430
01:34:02,957 --> 01:34:05,282
Four, including Jason.
1431
01:34:08,671 --> 01:34:10,829
What do you guys think
about Jeff Harland?
1432
01:34:10,923 --> 01:34:13,330
He's cute,
but I think David Cassidy's cuter.
1433
01:34:13,425 --> 01:34:15,916
- Oh, I think I'm gonna choke!
- No way.