1
00:00:07,423 --> 00:00:11,124
So as you can see, since
I became the CEO,
2
00:00:11,159 --> 00:00:13,927
our user growth, undeniable.
3
00:00:13,962 --> 00:00:18,264
Our retention, so sticky,
it's pornographic.
4
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:20,566
We're lean, we're exploding,
5
00:00:20,601 --> 00:00:22,535
and we're more mission-focused than ever
6
00:00:22,570 --> 00:00:25,405
in providing the best video chat
7
00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:29,007
the world has ever seen.
8
00:00:31,745 --> 00:00:34,712
Wow. Well, this seems really
promising, gentlemen.
9
00:00:34,748 --> 00:00:36,448
Promising, indeed.
10
00:00:36,483 --> 00:00:39,384
- I think if each...
- "Promising"? (CHUCKLES)
11
00:00:39,420 --> 00:00:42,387
You're a young associate here,
so I'm gonna help you out, okay?
12
00:00:42,423 --> 00:00:45,323
We have a lot of these meetings set up.
13
00:00:45,358 --> 00:00:46,824
We will be fine.
14
00:00:46,859 --> 00:00:49,160
What he means by that is...
15
00:00:49,195 --> 00:00:50,461
But you...
16
00:00:50,496 --> 00:00:52,129
you don't wanna be known around here
17
00:00:52,165 --> 00:00:53,831
as the guy who fucked this up, okay?
18
00:00:53,866 --> 00:00:56,100
So when you hip your
bosses to our numbers
19
00:00:56,135 --> 00:00:59,370
and they get visible hard-ons,
have them move quickly.
20
00:01:00,306 --> 00:01:02,472
Erlich, you're with me.
21
00:01:02,507 --> 00:01:05,208
- It's "hards-on."
- What?
22
00:01:05,243 --> 00:01:07,010
"Hards-on" not "hard-ons."
23
00:01:07,045 --> 00:01:09,379
It's a syntactical error
that I could've remedied
24
00:01:09,414 --> 00:01:11,114
if you had just given
me the space to speak.
25
00:01:11,149 --> 00:01:13,483
Erlich, seeing you Thursday, right?
26
00:01:13,518 --> 00:01:14,985
You better believe it.
27
00:01:15,787 --> 00:01:18,153
Can't wait for it. For, uh...
28
00:01:18,189 --> 00:01:21,423
For Jian-Yang's pitch. His new
idea sounds super exciting.
29
00:01:21,459 --> 00:01:23,892
Yes, well, he is... white hot right now.
30
00:01:23,927 --> 00:01:26,328
And that's why I had him
reach out directly,
31
00:01:26,364 --> 00:01:28,430
and we can't wait to pitch you the idea
32
00:01:28,466 --> 00:01:29,898
that is gonna be pitched to you.
33
00:01:29,933 --> 00:01:31,233
Great. I'll see you then.
34
00:01:32,636 --> 00:01:35,203
- You have no idea what it is, do you?
- Not a fucking clue.
35
00:01:35,238 --> 00:01:37,771
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
36
00:01:42,015 --> 00:01:45,924
- sync and corrections by Mr. C -
- www.addic7ed.com -
37
00:01:47,350 --> 00:01:52,752
(MUSIC PLAYING ON HEADPHONES)
38
00:01:52,787 --> 00:01:55,889
(MEN CHANTING) Always blue!
Always blue! Always blue!
39
00:01:55,924 --> 00:01:57,991
- Always blue! Always blue!
- (COMPUTER POPPING)
40
00:01:58,027 --> 00:02:01,594
Always blue! Always blue! Always blue!
41
00:02:01,630 --> 00:02:03,530
- Hey.
- Always bl...
42
00:02:04,566 --> 00:02:05,832
Richard, hey.
43
00:02:05,867 --> 00:02:07,800
What's, uh... Ah, there we go.
44
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,636
What's going on? You...
celebrating something?
45
00:02:10,671 --> 00:02:12,638
We were just... chanting.
46
00:02:13,474 --> 00:02:15,307
Why? What, the pitches go well?
47
00:02:15,343 --> 00:02:17,109
They went fine, you could say.
48
00:02:17,145 --> 00:02:18,411
You said they went awesome.
49
00:02:18,446 --> 00:02:20,379
All right, thank you, Big Head.
50
00:02:20,415 --> 00:02:24,283
I mean, I did get us a... few offers.
51
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:27,652
"We" did receive more than a few offers,
52
00:02:27,687 --> 00:02:29,887
as "few" often refers to three.
53
00:02:29,923 --> 00:02:31,923
And today, we're four for four.
54
00:02:31,958 --> 00:02:34,092
(CHUCKLES)
55
00:02:34,127 --> 00:02:36,994
Huh. Which... I mean,
what does that even mean?
56
00:02:37,030 --> 00:02:38,930
Nothing. Nothing at all.
57
00:02:38,965 --> 00:02:41,632
(CHUCKLES) Look, you
don't have to do this.
58
00:02:41,668 --> 00:02:43,934
Really. It was my choice
to leave the company,
59
00:02:43,969 --> 00:02:46,603
and besides, my Internet
thing is going great.
60
00:02:46,638 --> 00:02:48,472
Really, it's going very well.
61
00:02:48,507 --> 00:02:52,042
So I want you to succeed, and
I want you guys to be happy.
62
00:02:52,078 --> 00:02:53,510
Sure you do, slugger.
63
00:02:53,546 --> 00:02:55,479
(SIGHS) Stop. Really.
64
00:02:55,514 --> 00:02:58,315
It's cool. I mean that,
totally honestly.
65
00:02:58,350 --> 00:02:59,649
Keep it positive.
66
00:02:59,685 --> 00:03:02,918
I should go Skype my dad, I think,
and tell him the good news.
67
00:03:02,954 --> 00:03:06,389
Um, it is good news, though, right?
68
00:03:06,424 --> 00:03:08,191
'Cause we were all sort of
like happy and celebrating,
69
00:03:08,226 --> 00:03:10,181
but now... now it feels
sort of weird and...
70
00:03:10,183 --> 00:03:11,228
Just go, Big Head.
71
00:03:11,262 --> 00:03:13,262
- Okay. It's good?
- Yes.
72
00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:15,798
All right. Well... enjoy.
73
00:03:15,833 --> 00:03:17,865
Carry on. Always blue. (CHUCKLES)
74
00:03:19,769 --> 00:03:22,270
- Jared.
- Okay.
75
00:03:22,306 --> 00:03:24,439
- Always blue. Always blue.
- RICHARD: Sorry. Sorry.
76
00:03:24,475 --> 00:03:27,075
Dinesh, I think you accidentally
disabled my access keys
77
00:03:27,111 --> 00:03:28,876
for the video chat data repository.
78
00:03:28,912 --> 00:03:32,847
No, actually, I deleted them on purpose.
79
00:03:32,882 --> 00:03:35,483
I purged all our ex-employees.
80
00:03:35,518 --> 00:03:37,418
Gleb, Sanjay, Elisabet, you.
81
00:03:37,453 --> 00:03:39,686
Gleb? What, you're comparing me to Gleb?
82
00:03:39,722 --> 00:03:42,289
When we agreed to split
the company, we said that
83
00:03:42,325 --> 00:03:44,057
you could take the algorithm
for your video chat,
84
00:03:44,093 --> 00:03:46,127
and I could use the data
flowing through the system
85
00:03:46,162 --> 00:03:48,061
to optimize the algorithm for my thing.
86
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,564
- We had a deal.
- We had an agreement,
87
00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,765
not technically a deal.
88
00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,301
What the fuck, Dinesh?
89
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:57,170
- Play! Play! Blue, blue!
- Always blue! Always blue!
90
00:03:57,205 --> 00:03:59,172
Have fun, you're having a party.
You got pizza and everything.
91
00:03:59,207 --> 00:03:59,824
Always blue.
92
00:03:59,826 --> 00:04:01,675
So, what? I should've got it in
writing, Dinesh? Is that it?
93
00:04:01,709 --> 00:04:04,677
You wanna lawyer up now? You know,
we're just some guys in a house.
94
00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:07,013
But I don't wanna be just
guys in a house, Richard.
95
00:04:07,048 --> 00:04:10,849
That's the whole point. I want
PiperChat to be a real company.
96
00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:13,318
And after all the bullshit
we went through, no offense,
97
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,854
I finally got some real
financing lined up for us.
98
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,789
I cannot have another
Intersite on my hands.
99
00:04:17,824 --> 00:04:20,159
That was fucking Russ
and his shitty tequila.
100
00:04:20,194 --> 00:04:22,227
You know that, man? You were there.
That wasn't me.
101
00:04:22,263 --> 00:04:25,229
Richard, it happened on your watch.
102
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:28,499
I'm sorry. I really am.
103
00:04:29,735 --> 00:04:31,269
But the answer is no.
104
00:04:34,541 --> 00:04:37,074
Okay, well, suck a dick.
105
00:04:37,109 --> 00:04:39,544
I'm sorry, what did you say?
106
00:04:39,579 --> 00:04:41,045
- Nice blazer.
- Thank you.
107
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:42,879
- Where'd you get it?
- Does it matter?
108
00:04:42,914 --> 00:04:44,714
I just want to know where I can get one,
109
00:04:44,749 --> 00:04:46,749
so I can look like a
total fucking douchebag.
110
00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:53,223
Wow, right?
111
00:04:58,029 --> 00:04:58,995
Unbelievable.
112
00:04:59,030 --> 00:05:01,029
Gents, why don't we take this...
113
00:05:01,065 --> 00:05:02,198
party outside?
114
00:05:02,233 --> 00:05:04,766
JARED: Yes, we live in California.
115
00:05:04,802 --> 00:05:07,203
We should take advantage of it.
116
00:05:07,238 --> 00:05:09,871
Oh... Okay.
117
00:05:16,113 --> 00:05:17,812
Gavin, you told me to interrupt
118
00:05:17,847 --> 00:05:20,281
if Jack Barker came to see you.
I'm sorry.
119
00:05:20,317 --> 00:05:23,251
Yes. Send him in.
120
00:05:23,286 --> 00:05:25,786
I thought Barker would crack
after one day in that basement.
121
00:05:25,822 --> 00:05:27,722
The fact that it's taken
him two weeks to fess up
122
00:05:27,757 --> 00:05:31,092
about hijacking my
fucking plane and resign
123
00:05:31,127 --> 00:05:33,060
will make it all the sweeter.
124
00:05:35,464 --> 00:05:36,697
Hiya, Skipper.
125
00:05:36,732 --> 00:05:40,100
Sorry to barge in. I owe you an apology.
126
00:05:40,135 --> 00:05:42,135
Really? Whatever for?
127
00:05:42,170 --> 00:05:45,071
When you stuck me in that basement,
128
00:05:45,107 --> 00:05:49,243
I was like, "Jack, what the
hell did you do wrong?"
129
00:05:49,278 --> 00:05:52,811
And I'm sorry that it took me so long
to get it through my thick skull.
130
00:05:52,847 --> 00:05:55,581
I finally figured out
what this is all about.
131
00:05:55,617 --> 00:05:57,116
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
132
00:05:57,151 --> 00:06:01,120
You are doing exactly what Bobby
Iger does over at Disney.
133
00:06:02,590 --> 00:06:03,656
What?
134
00:06:03,691 --> 00:06:05,358
He makes every manager spend
135
00:06:05,393 --> 00:06:08,025
one day of the year in the Goofy suit.
136
00:06:08,061 --> 00:06:11,129
Because sometimes, you just
gotta be at product level
137
00:06:11,164 --> 00:06:13,331
to be able to see the best path forward.
138
00:06:13,367 --> 00:06:16,301
And once I realized that,
it was like, ka-pow!
139
00:06:16,336 --> 00:06:19,437
It was so obvious. It's the algorithm.
140
00:06:19,473 --> 00:06:22,006
Pied Piper put middle-out
in their vid chat,
141
00:06:22,041 --> 00:06:25,509
and it's amazing now, I know. I'm on
it all the time with my grandkids.
142
00:06:25,544 --> 00:06:31,181
We could use middle-out to revamp
our entire suite of products.
143
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:33,083
We can make billions, Chief.
144
00:06:33,118 --> 00:06:35,286
I'm whipping up some proposals right now
145
00:06:35,321 --> 00:06:37,888
that are gonna knock that
wig right off your head.
146
00:06:40,259 --> 00:06:41,324
Yeah.
147
00:06:43,828 --> 00:06:45,728
What the fuck is he up to?
148
00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:52,034
Look like a fucking wig to you?
149
00:06:52,069 --> 00:06:54,404
The point is, Jian-Yang,
you don't set pitches.
150
00:06:54,439 --> 00:06:57,840
I handle the scheduling. That's the
symbiosis of our relationship.
151
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,241
- No.
- What do you mean, "no"?
152
00:07:00,277 --> 00:07:01,161
No.
153
00:07:01,163 --> 00:07:03,813
Jian-Yang, PiperChat has
some real heat, okay?
154
00:07:03,847 --> 00:07:05,314
And we can draft off of that,
155
00:07:05,349 --> 00:07:07,816
but it has to be a carefully
choreographed dance.
156
00:07:07,851 --> 00:07:09,584
You can't just wiggle your little tush
157
00:07:09,620 --> 00:07:11,687
and expect every VC in the
Valley to get hards-on.
158
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:14,823
I am your lead investor, you
will respect me as such.
159
00:07:14,858 --> 00:07:16,223
I do not respect you.
160
00:07:16,258 --> 00:07:19,860
You're not any kind of investor.
You own nothing.
161
00:07:19,895 --> 00:07:22,129
I own 10 percent. You
live in my incubator.
162
00:07:22,164 --> 00:07:23,531
No, you evict me,
163
00:07:23,566 --> 00:07:26,934
- I evict your 10 percent.
- What are you talking about?
164
00:07:32,907 --> 00:07:34,907
"Santa Clara Sheriff's Department.
165
00:07:34,943 --> 00:07:37,143
"Vacate or be forcibly removed."
166
00:07:37,178 --> 00:07:40,880
To be fair, Jian-Yang, I filed
this when I had no expectations
167
00:07:40,915 --> 00:07:43,082
- that the system would work.
- Okay.
168
00:07:43,117 --> 00:07:46,453
Jian-Yang, just tell me... can you
just tell me what the idea is,
169
00:07:46,488 --> 00:07:48,855
so I can Gauge how aggressively
I should pursue it?
170
00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,723
Hey, Jared, you were there, right?
171
00:07:50,758 --> 00:07:52,924
When we split the company into two,
172
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:55,527
- Dinesh and I had a very...
- Stop, stop. Please stop.
173
00:07:55,563 --> 00:07:57,329
- Richard, what're you doing?
- What? What?
174
00:07:57,365 --> 00:07:59,698
What do you mean? I'm
complaining about Dinesh.
175
00:07:59,734 --> 00:08:01,199
He... He sucks.
176
00:08:01,235 --> 00:08:02,968
He's my boss now, Richard.
177
00:08:03,003 --> 00:08:05,337
Well, your boss is being a real prick.
178
00:08:05,373 --> 00:08:08,339
Richard, we have to
bifurcate our relationship.
179
00:08:08,375 --> 00:08:11,376
You and I can no longer discuss business.
All right?
180
00:08:11,411 --> 00:08:14,879
We can... We can talk about anything
else two guys might talk about.
181
00:08:14,914 --> 00:08:19,884
We can talk about sports teams
and their scores, or pussy,
182
00:08:19,919 --> 00:08:23,987
but... but you and I cannot and
will not discuss business.
183
00:08:27,393 --> 00:08:28,792
(SIGHS)
184
00:08:28,827 --> 00:08:30,560
Hey, man, for what it's worth,
185
00:08:30,596 --> 00:08:33,697
I thought it was super
fucked up what Dinesh did.
186
00:08:33,732 --> 00:08:36,199
I know what it's like to be the
one guy not in the company.
187
00:08:36,234 --> 00:08:38,167
You know? So...
188
00:08:40,171 --> 00:08:42,971
If you want my log-in, it's all yours.
189
00:08:44,409 --> 00:08:45,340
Really?
190
00:08:45,376 --> 00:08:46,809
- Yeah, man.
- Thanks.
191
00:08:48,245 --> 00:08:49,945
You know what?
192
00:08:49,980 --> 00:08:54,149
(SIGHS) I shouldn't do this.
Dinesh said no.
193
00:08:54,184 --> 00:08:56,737
And also, these are
"Skyrim" cheat codes.
194
00:08:56,739 --> 00:08:57,953
Oh, shit. Yeah.
195
00:08:57,987 --> 00:09:00,154
DINESH: Hey, my Bloomberg
interview is on!
196
00:09:00,189 --> 00:09:02,390
How did I come up with PiperChat?
197
00:09:02,426 --> 00:09:03,558
That's a very good question.
198
00:09:03,593 --> 00:09:06,160
I guess the tech gods were
just speaking through me.
199
00:09:06,195 --> 00:09:09,597
Somehow, I knew to take the
best parts of a service
200
00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:14,101
as substandard and crappy
as HooliChat and make it...
201
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:16,670
(INHALES SHARPLY) How do I put this?
202
00:09:17,706 --> 00:09:18,705
Incredible.
203
00:09:18,741 --> 00:09:20,808
Do you think I have too
much product in my hair?
204
00:09:20,843 --> 00:09:23,109
No, I think you should use more.
205
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:26,647
Wait. Are you saying that because
you think I look ridiculous
206
00:09:26,682 --> 00:09:29,249
and you want me to look
more ridiculous next time?
207
00:09:29,284 --> 00:09:31,384
Which answer will get more
of that stuff in your hair?
208
00:09:31,420 --> 00:09:32,819
Dinesh (ON TV): but let's just say...
209
00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:34,153
Wait, wait, wait. Watch this.
210
00:09:34,188 --> 00:09:35,788
This is where I make Emily Chang laugh.
211
00:09:35,824 --> 00:09:37,156
Quite a turnaround for a company
212
00:09:37,191 --> 00:09:38,758
that wasn't exactly soaring.
213
00:09:38,793 --> 00:09:40,359
Oh, it was soaring, Emily...
214
00:09:40,394 --> 00:09:42,261
right into a clogged toilet.
215
00:09:42,296 --> 00:09:44,997
And not just like a
standard clogged toilet.
216
00:09:45,032 --> 00:09:46,866
Like, I don't need a plunger.
217
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:49,133
I need a shovel and a bucket.
218
00:09:49,169 --> 00:09:51,436
But enough about the
previous leadership,
219
00:09:51,472 --> 00:09:54,038
which was inept, lame, bitter...
220
00:09:54,074 --> 00:09:56,875
- ♪
♪
- Fuck him. We had a deal.
221
00:09:59,112 --> 00:10:00,345
Thanks.
222
00:10:06,519 --> 00:10:08,619
♪ ♪
223
00:10:08,654 --> 00:10:11,221
(MOUSE CLICKING)
224
00:10:11,256 --> 00:10:12,857
That's weird.
225
00:10:12,892 --> 00:10:14,191
(KNOCKS ON DOOR)
226
00:10:15,094 --> 00:10:16,259
Hey, Richard.
227
00:10:16,295 --> 00:10:19,162
Have you seen the new Sports
Illustrated swimsuit edition?
228
00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:23,800
The cover model has the most lovely,
enigmatic facial expression.
229
00:10:23,835 --> 00:10:25,969
Jared, I... I don't really
want to talk about guy talk.
230
00:10:26,004 --> 00:10:29,405
I'm here to tell you that I think
Dinesh may be in some serious trouble.
231
00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:32,610
Okay, so I was analyzing a bunch
of user data, and I noticed...
232
00:10:32,612 --> 00:10:34,612
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Richard. Richard.
233
00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:37,881
I told you, I can't talk about this.
You have to bifurcate.
234
00:10:37,916 --> 00:10:39,581
No, Jared, listen, you're
gonna wanna hear this.
235
00:10:39,617 --> 00:10:42,751
Wait. What do you mean you
were looking at user data?
236
00:10:42,786 --> 00:10:46,254
You violated our system?
Richard, you were inside us?
237
00:10:46,289 --> 00:10:48,924
Don't tell Dinesh, and don't tell
any of the other guys, okay?
238
00:10:48,959 --> 00:10:52,427
"Don't tell Dinesh"?
Richard, Dinesh is my CEO.
239
00:10:52,462 --> 00:10:54,530
- Oh, God.
- What are you doing to me?
240
00:10:54,565 --> 00:10:56,898
- Did I make you angry?
- (GROANS)
241
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:59,366
I'm trying to save his ass, okay?
I'm trying to save you.
242
00:10:59,402 --> 00:11:01,836
Just survey the users...
243
00:11:01,871 --> 00:11:04,839
and make sure you ask how old they are.
244
00:11:04,874 --> 00:11:08,275
Okay? And then, that's it. That's it.
That's it. No more.
245
00:11:09,412 --> 00:11:10,277
(DOOR CLOSES)
246
00:11:10,312 --> 00:11:13,113
Stupid fucking Jian-Yang
and his shitty app.
247
00:11:13,149 --> 00:11:14,480
I don't even know if it is shitty.
248
00:11:14,516 --> 00:11:17,617
Hey, you know, I could probably
find out about Jian-Yang's app.
249
00:11:17,653 --> 00:11:20,286
He asked if he could
practice-pitch it to me.
250
00:11:20,321 --> 00:11:22,221
- Do you have any nines?
- Go fish.
251
00:11:22,257 --> 00:11:24,925
Wait. This could be great. What
time are you guys doing that?
252
00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,126
- I could listen in.
- I don't know.
253
00:11:27,162 --> 00:11:29,963
He asked if he could pitch
me, and I said sure,
254
00:11:29,998 --> 00:11:32,998
and then he kind of just like
kept talking for a while.
255
00:11:33,034 --> 00:11:34,266
Oh.
256
00:11:34,301 --> 00:11:37,102
You don't think that could've
been the pitch, do you?
257
00:11:38,072 --> 00:11:39,572
God damn it, what did he say?
258
00:11:39,607 --> 00:11:42,407
Geez, I kind of zoned out.
259
00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:44,209
Shit. Fives?
260
00:11:44,244 --> 00:11:46,478
Uh, go fish.
261
00:11:46,513 --> 00:11:48,980
Wait. I don't know if
this would be relevant,
262
00:11:49,015 --> 00:11:51,583
but he did say the word
"Oculus" a whole bunch.
263
00:11:51,618 --> 00:11:54,218
- Wait. "Oculus"?
- Mm-hmm.
264
00:11:55,154 --> 00:11:58,623
Oh, my God. It's a VR play.
265
00:11:58,658 --> 00:12:01,392
That's the frothiest space
in the Valley right now.
266
00:12:01,427 --> 00:12:03,795
Nobody understands it,
but everybody wants in.
267
00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:06,296
Any idiot can walk into a fucking room,
268
00:12:06,331 --> 00:12:10,133
utter the letters "V" and "R," and
VCs will hurl bricks of cash at him.
269
00:12:10,168 --> 00:12:13,203
Then by the time they find out that
it's vaporware, it's too late.
270
00:12:14,506 --> 00:12:17,741
I have got... to get in on this.
271
00:12:17,776 --> 00:12:20,477
♪ ♪
272
00:12:23,314 --> 00:12:27,149
Trust me. Just give me five minutes.
There he is.
273
00:12:27,184 --> 00:12:30,052
- Hey!
- Wait. Is that our lawyer?
274
00:12:30,088 --> 00:12:33,489
- Hey!
- I thought he was in jail.
275
00:12:33,524 --> 00:12:35,524
Hey. Perfect timing.
276
00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:39,060
I just completed the
detailing on this Kia.
277
00:12:39,096 --> 00:12:42,130
- Come on.
- What the fuck is going on?
278
00:12:42,165 --> 00:12:45,299
Wait. I don't understand. How did
Richard have access to our user data?
279
00:12:45,335 --> 00:12:47,035
Someone must've let him in.
280
00:12:47,070 --> 00:12:50,071
It was you. You're a fucking rat, Jared.
281
00:12:50,107 --> 00:12:52,073
Richard entered us without consent.
282
00:12:52,109 --> 00:12:55,076
In spite of that, he has
raised a real issue here.
283
00:12:55,112 --> 00:12:56,744
Fuck this. I'm gonna Uber home.
284
00:12:56,779 --> 00:13:00,114
Mr. Monahan, good luck with this
whole work-release situation,
285
00:13:00,149 --> 00:13:02,482
but I have more important things to do.
286
00:13:02,518 --> 00:13:04,118
Mr. Chugtai.
287
00:13:04,153 --> 00:13:09,289
It appears that 33 percent of your
users are under the age of 13.
288
00:13:09,324 --> 00:13:11,324
It's also apparent that you have
289
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:15,427
no parental permission
requirements in place.
290
00:13:15,463 --> 00:13:19,132
You're going to want
to sit down for this.
291
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:27,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
292
00:13:28,176 --> 00:13:31,677
- Are you familiar with COPPA?
- Who?
293
00:13:31,712 --> 00:13:35,346
That's the Children's Online
Privacy and Protection Act.
294
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:38,950
This Act establishes strict guidelines
295
00:13:38,986 --> 00:13:40,886
to protect the privacy
296
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,754
of younger children on the Internet.
297
00:13:42,790 --> 00:13:46,191
You are in gross violation of this act.
298
00:13:46,226 --> 00:13:50,027
You know how kids can't have a
YouTube or Facebook account
299
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:52,930
till they're 13? It's because of this.
300
00:13:52,965 --> 00:13:56,834
Yes, but our users are chatting
with each other, Jared,
301
00:13:56,869 --> 00:13:58,235
not some old creep.
302
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:01,072
- No offense.
- None taken.
303
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:04,240
My shame will linger even after
my voting rights are restored.
304
00:14:04,275 --> 00:14:09,813
Now, are there records of
these chats on your server?
305
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:11,347
Yeah, we store everything.
306
00:14:11,382 --> 00:14:15,251
What... Okay. What's going on?
How serious is this?
307
00:14:15,286 --> 00:14:18,354
Each violation of COPPA...
308
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:23,092
carries a penalty of $16,000.
309
00:14:23,127 --> 00:14:25,660
So we're fined $16,000?
310
00:14:25,696 --> 00:14:29,031
Oh, no. I hope they take cash.
311
00:14:29,066 --> 00:14:31,466
$16,000 per user.
312
00:14:31,501 --> 00:14:33,635
Not only each user...
313
00:14:34,705 --> 00:14:36,205
each use.
314
00:14:42,311 --> 00:14:45,179
Fifty-one thousand
estimated underage users
315
00:14:45,215 --> 00:14:48,783
times an average 25.6
chat sessions per user
316
00:14:48,818 --> 00:14:51,819
times $16,000...
317
00:14:55,657 --> 00:14:58,125
$21 billion?
318
00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,002
(POPPING)
319
00:14:59,004 --> 00:15:01,528
I mean, how is that
even fucking possible?
320
00:15:01,563 --> 00:15:03,029
(POPS)
321
00:15:03,065 --> 00:15:05,531
I mean, I knew Dinesh was
going to fuck this all up,
322
00:15:05,567 --> 00:15:09,236
but honestly, this
couldn't get any better.
323
00:15:09,271 --> 00:15:10,503
(POPPING CONTINUES)
324
00:15:10,538 --> 00:15:12,337
What's with the shirt?
325
00:15:13,641 --> 00:15:16,175
Oh, he sort of became ill on himself.
326
00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:20,646
I was wrong. This just got better.
327
00:15:20,681 --> 00:15:22,214
This is all your fault, Richard.
328
00:15:22,250 --> 00:15:24,884
This was your company
before it was mine.
329
00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:26,318
What are you talking about?
330
00:15:26,353 --> 00:15:28,020
Dinesh, I specifically reminded you
331
00:15:28,055 --> 00:15:30,221
to port over the terms of
service from the platform.
332
00:15:30,257 --> 00:15:33,491
Right, and I asked if you'd done
it, and... and you said you had.
333
00:15:33,526 --> 00:15:38,229
Okay. I checked the TOS box when
I submitted to the app store,
334
00:15:38,265 --> 00:15:40,531
but then I didn't end
up doing it, all right?
335
00:15:40,566 --> 00:15:41,900
And then when we caught fire,
336
00:15:41,935 --> 00:15:43,668
the last thing I wanted to do
337
00:15:43,703 --> 00:15:46,703
was bog our users down with
legal bullshit, you know?
338
00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:48,939
I mean, nobody reads that stuff anyway.
339
00:15:48,974 --> 00:15:51,675
Well, first of all, everyone
reads the terms of service,
340
00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:55,913
and secondly, they would've given
us legal cover from exactly this.
341
00:15:55,948 --> 00:15:59,516
- (POPPING QUICKLY)
- Every sound is $16,000.
342
00:16:00,452 --> 00:16:01,584
Fuck!
343
00:16:01,620 --> 00:16:02,819
All right, all right.
Don't think about that.
344
00:16:02,854 --> 00:16:06,522
Just think about how to solve
this massive, massive problem.
345
00:16:06,557 --> 00:16:09,125
- (POPPING CONTINUES)
- Quickly.
346
00:16:10,128 --> 00:16:12,561
Quick as you can. Jared! Just...
347
00:16:14,232 --> 00:16:16,498
- Wait. We could shut down.
- (ERLICH COUGHING)
348
00:16:16,534 --> 00:16:20,168
No, no, no. Not when we're this
close to signing a term sheet.
349
00:16:20,204 --> 00:16:22,503
And in case all of you
gents have forgotten,
350
00:16:22,539 --> 00:16:25,606
I'm on the hook for half a
million clambos for this thing.
351
00:16:25,642 --> 00:16:29,144
But we can't stay online! We're
just racking up more fines!
352
00:16:29,179 --> 00:16:31,512
Well, technically,
this is a corporation.
353
00:16:31,548 --> 00:16:33,348
So whatever they fine you,
354
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,251
they'll really only be able to
collect what the company's worth,
355
00:16:36,286 --> 00:16:38,652
which at this point,
is basically nothing.
356
00:16:38,687 --> 00:16:41,288
That's right. I'm just the CEO.
357
00:16:41,324 --> 00:16:43,090
I'm not personally liable.
358
00:16:43,125 --> 00:16:44,424
Although...
359
00:16:44,460 --> 00:16:47,027
- Although what?
- (POPPING QUICKLY)
360
00:16:47,063 --> 00:16:50,898
Well, when you lied to me about
adding terms of service,
361
00:16:50,933 --> 00:16:53,100
it could be argued you violated
362
00:16:53,135 --> 00:16:55,501
your fiduciary duty to the company,
363
00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,570
rendering you personally liable.
364
00:16:57,605 --> 00:16:59,672
I mean, if the FTC brought us to trial,
365
00:16:59,707 --> 00:17:01,774
I could be compelled to
testify against you.
366
00:17:02,643 --> 00:17:04,077
Jared, I trusted you.
367
00:17:04,112 --> 00:17:06,212
Oh, trust has nothing to do with it,
368
00:17:06,248 --> 00:17:08,447
but thanks for making that official.
369
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,683
So I could be personally liable
370
00:17:11,718 --> 00:17:14,552
for $21 billion?
371
00:17:14,588 --> 00:17:16,355
Yeah, most likely.
372
00:17:16,390 --> 00:17:19,124
I know, in the fable, Pied
Piper led all the children
373
00:17:19,159 --> 00:17:21,326
into darkness, but now we're doing it.
374
00:17:21,362 --> 00:17:23,561
So, what do you wanna do?
375
00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:25,597
- (POPPING QUICKLY)
- (GAGS)
376
00:17:25,632 --> 00:17:27,599
(STRAINED) I'm gonna throw up again.
377
00:17:27,634 --> 00:17:29,533
I'm going to watch this.
378
00:17:31,004 --> 00:17:33,704
GAVIN: I want full surveillance
on Jack Barker, 24/7.
379
00:17:33,739 --> 00:17:36,407
HOOVER: I don't recommend using
conventional listening devices.
380
00:17:36,442 --> 00:17:37,541
He may sweep for those.
381
00:17:37,576 --> 00:17:39,377
I do have a colleague
at Facebook that has
382
00:17:39,412 --> 00:17:40,978
a laser microphone. You can point it
383
00:17:41,014 --> 00:17:42,713
at an office window from a mile away
384
00:17:42,748 --> 00:17:44,448
and read the sound vibrations.
385
00:17:44,483 --> 00:17:46,049
I like it.
386
00:17:46,084 --> 00:17:49,119
Hoover, you're the only person I
can trust at this goddamn company.
387
00:17:49,154 --> 00:17:51,021
It's good to have a friend.
388
00:17:51,056 --> 00:17:52,222
I understand that, sir.
389
00:17:52,257 --> 00:17:56,026
Ah! Gavin, there you are.
390
00:17:56,061 --> 00:17:59,629
Oh. I don't want to interrupt
your talking with Hoover...
391
00:17:59,664 --> 00:18:02,031
and talking and talking about things,
392
00:18:02,066 --> 00:18:04,934
but I have some concrete news.
393
00:18:04,969 --> 00:18:07,336
- Regarding?
- Jack Barker.
394
00:18:07,371 --> 00:18:10,105
By forgoing Western gadgetry,
395
00:18:10,141 --> 00:18:13,775
simply stationing myself in the
hall outside of his office,
396
00:18:13,811 --> 00:18:16,211
I was able to overhear him speaking
397
00:18:16,247 --> 00:18:18,880
of his plans to move against you.
398
00:18:18,916 --> 00:18:23,251
He even referred to you as "Gavin...
Smellson."
399
00:18:23,286 --> 00:18:26,387
I knew it! Good work, Denpok.
400
00:18:26,423 --> 00:18:29,757
Good work. Let's go slice
this bastard in half, huh?
401
00:18:29,792 --> 00:18:32,260
Hold on. We need proof.
402
00:18:32,295 --> 00:18:33,627
Otherwise, he'll just deny it,
403
00:18:33,663 --> 00:18:36,029
and it'll just be a case
of he said/she said.
404
00:18:36,065 --> 00:18:39,266
That's a good point. Denpok,
who was he talking to?
405
00:18:40,469 --> 00:18:42,336
Oh, um...
406
00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:45,272
Alas, I could not see this
from my hidden vantage point.
407
00:18:45,307 --> 00:18:47,674
I'll check the logs and see
who was in his office.
408
00:18:47,709 --> 00:18:49,109
No, because...
409
00:18:51,746 --> 00:18:53,112
no one was there.
410
00:18:53,881 --> 00:18:57,049
I'm confused. Was he on the phone?
411
00:18:57,085 --> 00:19:00,086
Yes. Very perceptive.
412
00:19:00,121 --> 00:19:02,147
Easy. I'll just pull
up his phone records.
413
00:19:02,199 --> 00:19:03,090
No.
414
00:19:04,292 --> 00:19:05,724
Not the phone phone.
415
00:19:05,759 --> 00:19:08,361
So what was he doing?
Was he video chatting?
416
00:19:08,396 --> 00:19:10,828
That's what it was, chela.
417
00:19:10,864 --> 00:19:13,965
Even better. I'll pull up the chat data.
418
00:19:14,001 --> 00:19:15,433
You can do that?
419
00:19:15,469 --> 00:19:17,402
Well, as long as he was on HooliChat,
420
00:19:17,437 --> 00:19:22,073
but the bastard kept grinding in my
face how much he loved PiperChat.
421
00:19:22,109 --> 00:19:25,343
- What if he was using...
- PiperChat. Yes.
422
00:19:25,379 --> 00:19:27,478
- Fuck!
- He said the resolution was
423
00:19:27,513 --> 00:19:30,414
so vivid and superior to HooliChat.
424
00:19:30,449 --> 00:19:34,218
Ah. Sadly, now we'll never know
425
00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:39,289
the identity of the person with
whom he was definitely talking.
426
00:19:41,027 --> 00:19:43,193
- Unless...
- Unless what?
427
00:19:43,229 --> 00:19:44,293
(CLATTERS)
428
00:19:47,198 --> 00:19:48,631
RICHARD: Dinesh?
429
00:19:58,043 --> 00:19:59,308
Hey, man.
430
00:20:01,111 --> 00:20:02,344
How's it going?
431
00:20:03,580 --> 00:20:04,846
Bad.
432
00:20:04,881 --> 00:20:07,149
Well, look, I've been there, man.
433
00:20:07,184 --> 00:20:10,018
- No, you haven't.
- No, I... I have.
434
00:20:10,987 --> 00:20:14,156
One time when we were
pitching at Ross Loma...
435
00:20:15,092 --> 00:20:17,292
I threw up in my pants. (CHUCKLES)
436
00:20:18,994 --> 00:20:20,294
Don't you mean "on"?
437
00:20:20,329 --> 00:20:23,931
No. No, I mean... I mean "in."
438
00:20:25,734 --> 00:20:29,636
We were pitching and... well,
things weren't really going well,
439
00:20:29,672 --> 00:20:31,272
I was getting nervous
and... I don't know,
440
00:20:31,307 --> 00:20:33,374
I think I must've eaten
something bad that day.
441
00:20:33,409 --> 00:20:36,276
Anyway, my stomach was upside down,
so I made a beeline to the stall.
442
00:20:36,311 --> 00:20:40,613
But then I pulled down
my pants, sat down...
443
00:20:40,648 --> 00:20:44,117
but instead of shit, I threw up...
into my pants.
444
00:20:47,556 --> 00:20:50,423
Well, I was CEO for 11 days,
445
00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:52,891
and in that time I violated the rights
446
00:20:52,926 --> 00:20:54,893
of 50,000 little girls,
447
00:20:54,928 --> 00:20:57,329
exposed them to sexual predators,
448
00:20:57,364 --> 00:21:01,366
and racked up fines the size
of a small nation's GDP.
449
00:21:03,170 --> 00:21:06,238
Yeah. I threw up in my pants. (CHUCKLES)
450
00:21:08,309 --> 00:21:09,474
Fuck.
451
00:21:09,509 --> 00:21:11,375
♪ ♪
452
00:21:11,411 --> 00:21:13,177
What do I do, Richard?
453
00:21:14,214 --> 00:21:16,481
There are no right answers.
454
00:21:16,516 --> 00:21:18,983
(SIGHS) You know, when I was CEO...
455
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,487
I found that it was more about choosing
456
00:21:22,522 --> 00:21:25,089
the one wrong answer
that you can live with.
457
00:21:26,958 --> 00:21:28,925
I really loved that video chat.
458
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,394
(CELL PHONE BUZZES)
459
00:21:34,666 --> 00:21:35,732
Hello.
460
00:21:36,668 --> 00:21:37,834
This is he.
461
00:21:39,138 --> 00:21:40,470
What?
462
00:21:40,506 --> 00:21:41,938
(WHISPERS) It's Gavin Belson.
463
00:21:41,973 --> 00:21:44,240
It's Gavin fucking Belson.
464
00:21:44,275 --> 00:21:46,442
(NORMAL VOICE) Hey, Gavin Belson.
465
00:21:48,078 --> 00:21:50,246
What's up? Oh, my God.
466
00:21:50,281 --> 00:21:52,448
We're crushing it all the time.
467
00:21:52,483 --> 00:21:54,082
I'm in a bathtub.
468
00:21:55,486 --> 00:21:59,855
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, of course.
I'd love to. Bye.
469
00:21:59,890 --> 00:22:02,590
He wants to meet me at
Josephina's tonight.
470
00:22:02,626 --> 00:22:04,125
Did I say yes?
471
00:22:04,161 --> 00:22:05,393
(SCOFFS)
472
00:22:06,496 --> 00:22:07,595
Holy shit.
473
00:22:07,631 --> 00:22:10,632
Gavin Belson wants to acquire PiperChat.
474
00:22:10,667 --> 00:22:12,867
He made the same call to
me back when he wanted
475
00:22:12,902 --> 00:22:14,636
to make an offer for Pied Piper.
476
00:22:14,671 --> 00:22:16,971
He could take this entire shitbomb
477
00:22:17,006 --> 00:22:19,373
off Dinesh's hands?
Where's the fun in that?
478
00:22:19,408 --> 00:22:22,576
More importantly, I could get all
my money back, maybe even more.
479
00:22:22,611 --> 00:22:24,744
We could 10X this motherfucker, gents.
480
00:22:24,780 --> 00:22:26,813
- Although...
- Although what?
481
00:22:26,848 --> 00:22:29,149
Well, I'm sorry to play
the Cassandra again,
482
00:22:29,185 --> 00:22:31,585
but Dinesh can't sell Gavin the company.
483
00:22:31,620 --> 00:22:33,119
- Why not?
- Why the fuck not?
484
00:22:33,155 --> 00:22:36,556
It's due diligence. Gavin
doesn't trust anyone.
485
00:22:36,591 --> 00:22:38,857
When I worked for him, he
tried to microchip me.
486
00:22:38,893 --> 00:22:41,327
Before he finalized any acquisition,
487
00:22:41,362 --> 00:22:43,829
his legal team would
uncover our malfeasance.
488
00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:46,098
They'd sniff out the
user issue immediately.
489
00:22:46,133 --> 00:22:49,068
And they'd probably turn you
in, and you do not want that.
490
00:22:49,103 --> 00:22:50,736
I mean, there's also the moral quandary.
491
00:22:50,771 --> 00:22:52,437
Even if he could get away with it,
492
00:22:52,472 --> 00:22:54,906
could Dinesh really sell the
company, knowing it's basically
493
00:22:54,941 --> 00:22:57,576
a Sizzler buffet for
the sexually deranged?
494
00:22:57,611 --> 00:23:01,646
Of course he could. Because even if there
is a one percent chance of success
495
00:23:01,682 --> 00:23:05,016
and a 99 percent chance
of failure and prison,
496
00:23:05,051 --> 00:23:09,119
he will do the right thing
and get me my money back.
497
00:23:10,656 --> 00:23:13,156
I'm sorry, Erlich.
I've made my decision.
498
00:23:13,192 --> 00:23:15,326
I'm gonna say no to Gavin Belson...
499
00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:17,728
shut it down, and just see what happens.
500
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:24,401
(SHOUTS) What the fuck, huh?
What the fuck?
501
00:23:25,470 --> 00:23:27,002
Jian-Yang!
502
00:23:27,939 --> 00:23:30,906
♪ ♪
503
00:23:36,180 --> 00:23:37,880
Hey, Gavin.
504
00:23:37,915 --> 00:23:39,482
- Well...
- Dinesh.
505
00:23:40,785 --> 00:23:42,017
Thanks for coming.
506
00:23:44,054 --> 00:23:47,188
Listen, Gavin. I've thought about it,
507
00:23:47,224 --> 00:23:49,725
and if this is about
you buying PiperChat...
508
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,060
I didn't come here today
to buy your company.
509
00:23:52,095 --> 00:23:53,428
You didn't?
510
00:23:53,464 --> 00:23:55,797
No. I came to take it.
511
00:23:55,832 --> 00:23:57,799
I thought I'd have to buy you out,
512
00:23:57,834 --> 00:24:00,100
and I wanted to know what kind
of CEO I'd be dealing with,
513
00:24:00,136 --> 00:24:03,170
so I had my comms
people pull your press,
514
00:24:03,205 --> 00:24:05,306
like this interview you
did with TechCrunch
515
00:24:05,341 --> 00:24:08,542
where you described
PiperChat as, and I quote,
516
00:24:08,578 --> 00:24:10,711
"Exactly like HooliChat,
517
00:24:10,747 --> 00:24:14,782
"but without the suck-ass
parts," end quote.
518
00:24:14,817 --> 00:24:16,683
Or the one you did with Emily Chang,
519
00:24:16,718 --> 00:24:20,420
where you told her how you took
"the best parts of HooliChat
520
00:24:20,455 --> 00:24:23,723
"and made them less crappy."
521
00:24:23,759 --> 00:24:27,294
I was about to throw you a
massive acquisition deal,
522
00:24:27,329 --> 00:24:32,799
and then I realized you'd already
publicly admitted to stealing my IP.
523
00:24:33,934 --> 00:24:35,367
I hope you have a good lawyer.
524
00:24:35,403 --> 00:24:37,202
He works at the car
wash down the street.
525
00:24:37,237 --> 00:24:38,304
What?
526
00:24:38,339 --> 00:24:41,640
Look, Gavin, you do not want to do this.
527
00:24:41,676 --> 00:24:44,310
- I can't explain exactly why.
- Shut up.
528
00:24:46,447 --> 00:24:48,380
This is not a negotiation.
529
00:24:48,416 --> 00:24:50,648
If you fight me, I will win,
530
00:24:50,684 --> 00:24:53,651
and I will fuck you in the
tech business forever.
531
00:24:53,687 --> 00:24:55,520
No one will hire you.
532
00:24:55,555 --> 00:24:58,122
I'm taking PiperChat. By 8:00 a.m.
tomorrow,
533
00:24:58,157 --> 00:25:00,891
you will hand over to Hooli
all your data and systems.
534
00:25:00,927 --> 00:25:03,728
All your users will be
converted to HooliChat users.
535
00:25:03,763 --> 00:25:06,030
It will be like PiperChat never existed.
536
00:25:06,065 --> 00:25:08,532
And what you get out of it
is the chance to walk away
537
00:25:08,567 --> 00:25:11,067
and try and get another
job in this town.
538
00:25:11,102 --> 00:25:13,303
You have five seconds to decide.
539
00:25:13,339 --> 00:25:15,505
- Five, four...
- Okay.
540
00:25:16,775 --> 00:25:18,375
So we're in agreement.
541
00:25:18,410 --> 00:25:21,110
For a 10 percent stake
in your current venture,
542
00:25:21,146 --> 00:25:23,680
you will receive full pool privileges,
543
00:25:23,716 --> 00:25:27,883
more room in the crisper, and
you may live in my home for...
544
00:25:27,918 --> 00:25:29,418
For free.
545
00:25:29,454 --> 00:25:30,686
for free for six months.
546
00:25:30,722 --> 00:25:32,955
Fuck you. One year.
547
00:25:34,759 --> 00:25:37,393
Fuck! Fine. Fine.
548
00:25:37,428 --> 00:25:40,863
- It's a deal.
- Deal.
549
00:25:40,898 --> 00:25:45,633
Jian, I mean, your onerous
terms not withstanding,
550
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:49,604
I'm very excited to be a
part of your VR play.
551
00:25:49,639 --> 00:25:50,772
VR?
552
00:25:50,807 --> 00:25:53,241
- VR, virtual reality.
- Who's doing VR?
553
00:25:53,276 --> 00:25:55,610
You are. That's what Big Head said.
554
00:25:55,645 --> 00:25:57,545
This play has to do
with the Oculus, right?
555
00:25:57,581 --> 00:26:00,180
- No.
- But he said that you said, "Oculus."
556
00:26:00,215 --> 00:26:03,049
He said you kept saying it.
"Oculus, Oculus, Oculus."
557
00:26:03,085 --> 00:26:04,451
Octopus.
558
00:26:06,389 --> 00:26:07,688
(WHISPERS) No.
559
00:26:09,157 --> 00:26:10,391
No.
560
00:26:12,327 --> 00:26:14,561
- Octopus?
- It's a water animal.
561
00:26:14,597 --> 00:26:17,430
I... I know what an octopus is.
562
00:26:17,465 --> 00:26:21,200
Just... What does your application
have to do with octopus?
563
00:26:21,235 --> 00:26:26,406
Eight different ways to make
a Chinese recipe, octopus.
564
00:26:30,011 --> 00:26:33,011
So I just traded one year...
565
00:26:33,046 --> 00:26:35,647
of free rent, full pool privileges,
566
00:26:35,682 --> 00:26:37,282
and more room in the crisper
567
00:26:37,317 --> 00:26:40,886
for an application that is just...
568
00:26:42,122 --> 00:26:44,989
eight recipes for octopus?
569
00:26:45,025 --> 00:26:46,758
- Hmm?
- Yes.
570
00:26:46,794 --> 00:26:49,560
♪ ♪
571
00:26:49,595 --> 00:26:51,061
Hey, guys, they're ready.
572
00:26:54,434 --> 00:26:57,401
- Ooh. Ooh.
- (KIDS LAUGHING)
573
00:26:57,437 --> 00:26:58,969
What the fuck is this?
574
00:26:59,004 --> 00:27:01,371
I went through every
chat in his history.
575
00:27:02,241 --> 00:27:03,373
They're all the same.
576
00:27:03,409 --> 00:27:06,743
Perhaps it was another chat format.
577
00:27:06,778 --> 00:27:10,880
Could you acquire Skype or
FaceTime and check them as well?
578
00:27:10,916 --> 00:27:11,881
- (DOOR OPENS)
- What?
579
00:27:11,917 --> 00:27:14,016
Uh, Gavin, I'm... I'm sorry.
580
00:27:14,052 --> 00:27:17,420
I need to talk to you about
this PiperChat acquisition.
581
00:27:17,456 --> 00:27:20,557
I put together a panel
of the most active users
582
00:27:20,592 --> 00:27:21,925
you ported over from PiperChat.
583
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:23,992
Bear in mind, this group
is representative
584
00:27:24,027 --> 00:27:26,695
in terms of gender, race
585
00:27:26,730 --> 00:27:28,997
and, most importantly, age.
586
00:27:29,032 --> 00:27:30,799
Now, who else thinks changing
587
00:27:30,835 --> 00:27:33,802
to a HooliChat log-in is hella lame?
588
00:27:35,205 --> 00:27:37,172
Madison, Allison, Jennifer,
589
00:27:37,207 --> 00:27:40,108
Stephanie, Quinn, Ingrid, Kaylee...
590
00:27:40,143 --> 00:27:42,810
- Oh, no.
- Amber, Sarah, Janelle...
591
00:27:42,846 --> 00:27:46,481
Carl. Now, Carl...
592
00:27:46,516 --> 00:27:50,217
you said the new sign-in
page made you nervous.
593
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:51,953
Did anyone else feel nervous?
594
00:27:51,988 --> 00:27:53,387
- (GAVIN POUNDING, SHOUTING)
- (GIRLS GASP)
595
00:27:53,422 --> 00:27:56,624
(HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
596
00:27:56,659 --> 00:28:00,259
♪ Aye, aye, ahhhh, aye ♪
597
00:28:00,295 --> 00:28:05,198
♪ Aww, damn, aye, aye ♪
598
00:28:05,233 --> 00:28:07,501
♪ Rolling with my niggas like ha ♪
599
00:28:08,737 --> 00:28:10,904
♪ Hey, ha, ha ♪
600
00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:13,740
♪ Laugh at you niggas like ha ♪
601
00:28:14,742 --> 00:28:17,109
♪ Hey, ha, ha ♪
602
00:28:17,144 --> 00:28:20,245
♪ Head out the window,
fuck your feelings ♪
603
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,382
♪ Nigga imitate 'cause you been on ♪
604
00:28:23,417 --> 00:28:26,251
♪ Middle fingers up, we the realest ♪
605
00:28:26,286 --> 00:28:29,254
♪ Big chief ranks like that nigga ♪
606
00:28:29,289 --> 00:28:31,856
♪ Rolling with my niggas like ha ♪
607
00:28:32,826 --> 00:28:34,859
♪ Hey, ha, ha ♪
608
00:28:34,895 --> 00:28:37,529
♪ Laugh at you niggas like ha ♪
609
00:28:38,798 --> 00:28:41,198
♪ Hey, ha, ha ♪
610
00:28:41,234 --> 00:28:42,400
♪ Head out the window ♪
611
00:28:42,435 --> 00:28:44,301
♪ Fuck your feelings ♪
612
00:28:44,337 --> 00:28:45,469
♪ Nigga imitate ♪
613
00:28:45,505 --> 00:28:47,338
♪ 'Cause you been on ♪
614
00:28:47,373 --> 00:28:48,506
♪ Middle fingers up ♪
615
00:28:48,541 --> 00:28:50,306
♪ We the realest ♪
616
00:28:50,342 --> 00:28:51,642
♪ Big chief ranks ♪
617
00:28:51,677 --> 00:28:53,309
♪ Like that nigga ♪
618
00:28:53,345 --> 00:28:54,411
♪ Stay on the low ♪
619
00:28:54,446 --> 00:28:55,779
♪ The police be coming ♪
620
00:28:55,814 --> 00:28:57,280
♪ And she ain't coming ♪
621
00:28:57,315 --> 00:28:59,149
♪ If it ain't 'bout the money ♪
621
00:29:00,305 --> 00:29:06,204
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