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Invader Zim
Parent Teacher Night
s01e03A = s01e05

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Subtitles: Ainee

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And you, Mary: Right
where your head is,

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before the Big Bang,
there was nothing there!

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And outside, where
that squirrel is,

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there was nothing!

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And under your
chairs, nothing!

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And by that tree, where
that dog is, nothing.

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Don't forget that tonight
is parent-teacher night.

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Everyone is required to bring
their parents to the cafeteria.

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I never agreed to attend
this parent-teacher night!

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- Yes, you did.
- No. You lie! You lie!!!

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Zim, are you going to bring your
parents to parent-teacher night?

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Yeah, sure,
whatever.

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Why would
you tape that?

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Putting up a lot of fight for
something as simple as

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parent-teacher night, Zim.
I bet he doesn't even know

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what parents are!
- Of course, I do...

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Welcome to life,
Irken child.

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Report for duty.

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I love you, cold
unfeeling robot arm!

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You will be here
tonight, Zim.

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You and
your parents!

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Yeah! See you and
your parents tonight, Zim!

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Yes. Oh, I will
bring my parents.

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And they shall be the greatest,
most parental parents ever!

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Welcome
home, son!

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Is the lady of
the house in?

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That's me! I am house
lady. Brush your teeth!

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I'm selling make-up
and I just know

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you'll find something
great in...

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I said, brush
your teeth!

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I'll see you and your
parents tonight, Zim!

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By the way, it's not called
Parent-Teacher Night,

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it's called Zim doom
parent, Zim doom

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zimmy... doom...
night!

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Watch out for
that puppy.

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No, wait! Come
back! I need stuff!

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Welcome
home, son!

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You want some
dinner, sweetheart?

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What am I going to do? I only
have a few hours before this...

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...parent-teacher thing.

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The parent decoys aren't
ready for that kind of service.

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Their interactive skills are
too limited. Unless...

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GIR!

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Yes, sir!

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GIR, we have to program the
parents to learn human social

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behavior if they are to join
me for parent-teacher night.

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Yes sir,
right away!

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"Failure to rotate stock
destroys merchandise."

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"You stupid
moron!"

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Oh, this is my
favorite show!

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Wait, no, this is
my favorite show!

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Look, it's my
favorite show!

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My spine!

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- I love this show.
- No, GIR!

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The robot parents must
learn proper parenting

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from this
video program!

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Make sure they watch
the entire video, GIR.

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The fate of our
mission depends on it!

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We sure are proud
of our little boy.

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We sure are!

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Are you plagued
by grass stains?

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I like burritos... but
they sure don't like me!

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Who does your hair?

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We now return to
our movie in progress.

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"Poke of Doom!"

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I love this show.

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- Are you ready
dear? - Yes.

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Well then we
otta be on our way.

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- Yes! - We sure are
proud of you, son.

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We sure are...

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I love this show.

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Hey kids,
it's your dad!

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I never knew he
was a floating head!

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No, he's not. My
dad's just really busy

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and he couldn't
be here in person.

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He's transmitting live
from his lab across town.

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Hey, my dad was like
that too, you know

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I understand. It's nice
to meet you, professor.

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I'm Mr. Elliot, your
daughter Gaz's teacher!

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I'm sorry but I'm
very busy right now.

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We're testing some
highly unstable...

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Nooo! You have the
mixture all wrong!

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These are my parents,
I love them with all my heart.

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I must have
punch now!

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When you were my students,
I said you'd amount to nothing.

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And I was right,
you're nothing!

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Hello, Zim.

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- Dib. - Dad, there's
somebody I want you to meet.

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This is Zim. You
know, the alien.

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And what country is the
little green boy from?

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Yes, yes, that's
fascinating.

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So, what's
goin' on?

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My mom won't
shut up about me.

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It's really
embarrassing.

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At least she's not
showing the pictures.

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Oh, and you've just
gotta see these pictures!

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Now here's Billy cryin'
when he was kicked off

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the soccer team
for cryin' too much!

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Grass stains sure are tough to
get out of those soccer uniforms!

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Sports aren't everything. 
I'm sure your boy will find...

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something he's
good at.

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That's true. Hey! Try
one of these cookies!

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My wife made them!
Thanks, Ted!

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Oh no.
Honey, is it...

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Yup!

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Diarrhea!

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I have just the
thing for that!

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Who does
your hair?

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My head!

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Mom, I think we
should go home now!

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Don't tell me what
to do young man!

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You go to
your room!

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Hey, is your
dad feeling well?

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Yes, he's
perfectly fine.

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Nothing to worry about!
My dad lost his arm in...

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...the war! - That
was my squeezin' arm.

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They took my
squeezing arm!

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Why my
squeezing arm?

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Quit pokin' my
mom's head!

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Look, mom, we
really have to go!

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Please.
Now, please!

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Honey,
you're upset!

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Yes! And I want
to go home!

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I know what'll
cheer you up.

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Look everyone,
look!

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Can't you see that this
woman is suffering from

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severe pokie trauma?!

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Mom, dad. I think
I've broken my spine!

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My spine!

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Honey. I think it's time
we took you home.

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Let me guess.
Nobody saw that, right?

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Hey! That kid's
throwing punch!

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Subtitles: Ainee