1 00:00:19,645 --> 00:00:23,815 [Man] This is the city. Los Angeles, California. 2 00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:29,154 465 square miles of constantly interfacing humanity... 3 00:00:29,238 --> 00:00:32,574 representing every race, colour... 4 00:00:32,616 --> 00:00:35,911 creed and persuasion... 5 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:41,375 that God, no matter how he is worshipped... 6 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:44,837 chose, in His infinite wisdom, to deposit here... 7 00:00:44,962 --> 00:00:48,131 in the cultural nexus of the Pacific Rim. 8 00:00:48,215 --> 00:00:51,218 Almost 4 million people work and play here. 9 00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:54,429 And like any other place anywhere... 10 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:58,350 there are those who have it and those who want it. 11 00:00:58,433 --> 00:01:01,812 Those who have it, enjoy it... 12 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,814 no matter how they got it. 13 00:01:03,856 --> 00:01:07,317 Those who want it, can get it by attempting to better themselves... 14 00:01:07,401 --> 00:01:11,113 in a sympathetic community populated by decent citizens cheering them on. 15 00:01:12,281 --> 00:01:15,951 Or they can try to take it the easy way. 16 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:21,039 Because even in the City of Angels, from time to time, some halos slip. 17 00:01:22,291 --> 00:01:27,504 That's where I come in, doing my job to the best of my ability on a daily basis. 18 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:32,092 I work here. I carry a badge. 19 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:39,016 }} [Dragnet March Plays] 20 00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,305 Dragnet! 21 00:02:20,641 --> 00:02:22,684 } Police, police police officer, ma'am } 22 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:27,022 } Their job Their job } 23 00:02:27,105 --> 00:02:30,317 } To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 24 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,027 } Their job: To enforce the laws } 25 00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:34,363 } Enforce Enforce the laws } 26 00:02:36,782 --> 00:02:40,077 } To enforce the laws Their job: To enforce the laws } 27 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,748 } J-J-J-J-Just the facts, ma'am } 28 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:48,126 } Just the facts, ma'am Just the facts, ma'am } 29 00:02:48,252 --> 00:02:49,878 } D-D-D-D-Dragnet Dragnet } 30 00:02:49,962 --> 00:02:52,130 } To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 31 00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,216 } To enforce the laws } 32 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,013 } Dragnet, Dragnet, Dragnet } 33 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,599 } Their job: To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 34 00:03:02,683 --> 00:03:05,143 } To enforce the laws To enforce the laws } 35 00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,229 Police officers, ma'am. 36 00:03:22,995 --> 00:03:26,915 Just the facts, ma'am. Just the facts, ma'am. 37 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,920 } J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J } 38 00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,726 - } To enforce the laws } - } M-My name's Friday } 39 00:03:45,851 --> 00:03:47,978 - } M-My name's Friday } - } Enforce the laws } 40 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,397 - } M-My name's Friday } - } Their job } 41 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:52,482 } To enforce the laws } 42 00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:55,194 } And preserve the safety of decent citizens } 43 00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:02,784 } Dragnet, Dragnet, Dragnet }} 44 00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:14,713 [Narrator] Ladies and gentlemen, the story you are about to see is true. 45 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,716 The names have been changed to protect the innocent. 46 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:22,930 For example, George Baker is now called Sylvia Wiss. 47 00:04:44,243 --> 00:04:46,787 Hey, who called the fire department? 48 00:04:46,912 --> 00:04:49,665 What the hell is going on here? 49 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,750 Chief, where's the fire? 50 00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,183 See the fire? 51 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:11,937 I see the fire. I see the fire. 52 00:05:12,020 --> 00:05:14,731 Good! When you wake up... 53 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:20,904 tell Jerry Caesar he's out of business. 54 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,750 [Detective] It was Wednesday, January 7. 55 00:05:34,710 --> 00:05:37,754 A cool day in Los Angeles, with westerly winds... 56 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,465 and light, scattered clouds at 3,000 feet. 57 00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:42,593 I was working day watch out of Robbery-Homicide... 58 00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,761 at the same desk my late Uncle Joe occupied... 59 00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,639 when he served with the department 20 years ago. 60 00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:56,064 Many aspects of the officer's routine have changed since Uncle Joe's time. 61 00:05:56,190 --> 00:05:59,276 Now there are new methods, new philosophies, new equipment. 62 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,321 The standard service revolver and simple lead sap... 63 00:06:02,446 --> 00:06:05,866 have given way to Taser guns and anodized metal batons. 64 00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:09,620 But there's one thing that never changes. 65 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:14,625 The face of crime. It just gets bigger and badder and uglier every day. 66 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:17,878 My partner's name is Frank Smith. The boss is Captain Gannon. 67 00:06:18,003 --> 00:06:19,338 My name's Friday. 68 00:06:19,463 --> 00:06:21,298 - Joe. - Captain. 69 00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:24,343 Frank's late. Must've been held up in traffic. 70 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,804 - Frank won't be coming in today. - 24-hour virus? 71 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,724 - Or tomorrow. - Forty-eight? 72 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:33,519 Frank quit. Bought a goat farm. 73 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,438 Moved to Ukiah. Left you this note. 74 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:39,274 He was too broken up to talk about it. 75 00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,652 Said he knew you'd understand. 76 00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:46,490 Every man has a dream to chase. Frank's was that goat farm. 77 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:49,952 - I understand. But tell me something. - Yeah? 78 00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:53,956 Those 3.6 million citizens who expected him to be on the job this morning... 79 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,624 will they understand? 80 00:07:00,796 --> 00:07:02,464 [Friday] 8:47 a.m. 81 00:07:02,548 --> 00:07:06,802 Captain Gannon had assigned me to investigate the Pagan robberies... 82 00:07:06,844 --> 00:07:10,013 a pattern of serial crimes which had occurred throughout the city. 83 00:07:10,097 --> 00:07:13,517 They'd seemed merely irritating, but were gaining notoriety... 84 00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:15,811 through their growing frequency and naked brazenness. 85 00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:19,106 I was to contact my new partner at the central receiving lot. 86 00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:23,735 A less experienced officer might have been concerned he was getting potluck. 87 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:27,155 But I knew that any detective the department had to offer me... 88 00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:30,200 was automatically worthy of my respect. 89 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:35,706 - Sergeant Friday? - Who wants to know? 90 00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:38,584 I'm Pep Streebek, your new partner. 91 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:42,963 - Not looking like that, you aren't. - Really? What's that mean? 92 00:07:43,005 --> 00:07:46,091 It means I don't care what undercover rock you crawled out from... 93 00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,552 there's a dress code for detectives in Robbery-Homicide. 94 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,262 Section 3-605... 95 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:54,892 .10,.20,.22,.24,.26, .50,.70,.80. 96 00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:58,478 It specifies clean shirt, short hair, tie, pressed trousers... 97 00:07:58,562 --> 00:08:01,982 sports jacket or suit and leather shoes, preferable with a high shine. 98 00:08:06,778 --> 00:08:08,697 9:05 a.m. 99 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,408 Streebek's unauthorized outfit and facial growth were history. 100 00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:16,413 For the first time in 12 years, I rolled into traffic with a new partner. 101 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,884 Detective Pep Streebek: Male, Caucasian... 102 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:31,220 six feet, 165 pounds... 103 00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:33,388 no distinguishing scars. 104 00:08:33,472 --> 00:08:36,934 He had an extensive list of merit citations which was tainted... 105 00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:39,269 by his total disregard for departmental procedure. 106 00:08:39,394 --> 00:08:42,105 He pictured himself as some hipster, free-bird cop. 107 00:08:42,189 --> 00:08:44,107 But his wings were about to be clipped... 108 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:47,569 because now he was going to play the detective game by my rules. 109 00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:54,034 [Horns Honking] 110 00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:59,289 [Honking Continues] 111 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:02,793 Friday, we're allowed to go 55. 112 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,129 On some occasions, even faster. 113 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,842 I'm well aware of the federally-mandated speed limit. 114 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,928 But did it ever occur to you that by going 8 miles an hour slower... 115 00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:17,724 we might save gas and ease the burden on the taxpayers who pay our salaries? 116 00:09:17,850 --> 00:09:20,811 A little extra gas isn't gonna put the city in hock. 117 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,813 Besides, this looks bad. 118 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:27,192 Live a little! It's the vertical pedal on the right. 119 00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:30,445 9:47 a.m. We arrived at the Griffith Park Zoo... 120 00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:35,367 Los Angeles's habitat for wild animals sustained in dignified captivity. 121 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:39,371 An adult male lion and a security guard had been tranquillized with a dart gun... 122 00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:41,707 and subsequent robberies had occurred. 123 00:09:41,832 --> 00:09:43,709 These animals have it pretty good. 124 00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,295 Simulated surroundings, three squares a day. 125 00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:50,215 If these creatures could talk, they'd give the citizens a vote of thanks. 126 00:09:50,340 --> 00:09:53,760 Friday, these animals... 127 00:09:53,886 --> 00:09:58,515 were trapped, stunned and roped, crated and shipped, dropped into cages. 128 00:09:58,557 --> 00:10:02,227 You think they were in the wild forming lines, jockeying for position... 129 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:05,480 saying, "Take me! I want to live on damn cement"? 130 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,567 When I look in their eyes, I get a different message. 131 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:10,819 We'll leave it at that. 132 00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:16,867 Are you the police? 133 00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:20,370 Friday, Streebek. Robbery. You have some Pagan cards? 134 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,832 Yeah. Three of them. Left in separate cages. 135 00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:26,835 Let me show you where I found them. 136 00:10:26,919 --> 00:10:29,546 This is Ben, our boa constrictor. 137 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:33,759 The missing giant anaconda was still here last night at 8:30. 138 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,303 I know because that's when it gets its final feeding. 139 00:10:36,345 --> 00:10:38,597 It's not always its final feeding. 140 00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:41,725 Sometimes it hides a little snack for later. 141 00:10:41,850 --> 00:10:43,810 Just the facts, if you don't mind, ma'am. 142 00:10:43,936 --> 00:10:46,522 What exactly does a Central Bolivian Anaconda choose to feed on? 143 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,941 It eats whole, live groundhogs. 144 00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:52,569 - You skip breakfast, Friday? - Whoever stole it's gotta feed it. 145 00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,906 We also seem to be missing one of these. 146 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,869 What is the approximate dry weight of the Madagascar Fruit Tree Bat? 147 00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,330 You mean you don't know? 148 00:11:05,249 --> 00:11:08,961 This is the one I understand the least. 149 00:11:12,965 --> 00:11:17,469 Somebody must've wanted that lion's mane bad to pull a stunt like that. 150 00:11:17,553 --> 00:11:21,932 Although, as Mohawks go, it's not that bad. It'll grow back. 151 00:11:21,974 --> 00:11:26,395 How do you tell that to kids who haven't seen a lion and won't want to again? 152 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,647 Kids, it'll grow back. 153 00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:31,149 Yea! 154 00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:33,902 [Friday] 10:35 a.m. 155 00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:37,072 Arsonists posing as firemen had left a Pagan card... 156 00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,449 in the charred ruins of a downtown warehouse. 157 00:11:39,575 --> 00:11:42,411 We were advised to contact the owner of the stolen merchandise... 158 00:11:42,536 --> 00:11:44,872 soft-core porno lord, Jerry Caesar... 159 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:48,917 at his notorious pleasure compound in the coveted Bel-Air section. 160 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:51,295 [Horn Honking] 161 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:56,967 [Woman] Oh, thank God! Vibrator repair? 162 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:01,430 No, ma'am. Los Angeles Police Department. 163 00:12:01,555 --> 00:12:03,265 Sorry. 164 00:12:11,982 --> 00:12:14,484 It's enough to churn your guts, isn't it? 165 00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:17,571 This girl pruning this bush with her... 166 00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:21,074 That a slut peddler like Jerry Caesar could build a modern day Gomorrah... 167 00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:24,578 in the same city where they recorded "We Are the World." 168 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,338 - Hi. - Hi. 169 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,007 Don't get too friendly. 170 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:42,930 Hi. Can I help you? 171 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:46,600 Police officers, ma'am. L.A.P.D. Robbery. I'm Friday. This is... 172 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:49,019 - April! - That's right. 173 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,938 She was a Baitmate. 174 00:12:51,021 --> 00:12:53,315 Bait magazine. She was featured. 175 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,817 I get the hang of it. In the April issue. 176 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:59,780 No, Mr Silly. February! My name is April. 177 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:04,326 Don't tell me. Your favourite movies are The Sound of Music and Yes, Giorgio. 178 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,411 You love to go bobbing for apples. 179 00:13:06,537 --> 00:13:08,914 Your major turn-offs are... 180 00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:13,043 anchovies, people who don't use coasters and... 181 00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:16,880 And men who smoke in public places. 182 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:20,133 Let's go meet Jerry. 183 00:13:30,602 --> 00:13:32,855 There's Jerry over there. 184 00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:44,241 I'm gonna have a place like this someday. 185 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,618 Dream on, Streebek, dream on. 186 00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,627 It's about time. 187 00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:57,921 I called you cops three hours ago. 188 00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:01,008 Yes, sir. My name's Friday. This is Detective Streebek. 189 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,218 What's missing? 190 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,846 How about the entire run... 191 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:09,766 every single copy of our 25th Anniversary double issue of Bait. 192 00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:13,395 - Bait. - That's his skin magazine. 193 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,524 You say. The intelligent subscriber regards it... 194 00:14:17,649 --> 00:14:20,527 as a politically-oriented, socially-impacted monthly. 195 00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:24,364 I'm not gonna allow a gang of cement heads to intimidate me... 196 00:14:24,448 --> 00:14:26,742 just because I refused to publish their stupid manifesto. 197 00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:31,330 - Tell us about that. - Here. Read it for yourself. 198 00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:35,417 "Manifest of the International Brotherhood of Pagan. 199 00:14:35,501 --> 00:14:39,463 We believe bad sex and good drugs are the cornerstone of a great democracy. 200 00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:42,966 - The peak of pornography..." - We get the general idea. 201 00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:47,095 My publishing company is not a private platform for a bunch of yahoos. 202 00:14:47,179 --> 00:14:49,681 I don't care how many copies they buy. 203 00:14:49,723 --> 00:14:53,435 I don't have to publish their junk just because they got 1st amendment rights. 204 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,729 I've got 1st amendment rights, too. Look 'em up. 205 00:14:55,854 --> 00:14:58,398 I don't have. I can quote 'em to you. 206 00:14:58,482 --> 00:15:02,027 Anyhow, how much do you figure a monthly run of your... 207 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:04,154 "magazine" is worth? 208 00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:09,868 It's more money than you'll ever see in your life. And I do that every month. 209 00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,453 My money's clean. 210 00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:15,791 I'll tell you what you do before you go home and start polishing your pennies. 211 00:15:15,916 --> 00:15:19,169 Go out and get my magazines back on the stand where they belong. 212 00:15:19,253 --> 00:15:24,049 Listen, hotshot, I don't care for you or the putrid sludge you're trowelling out. 213 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:28,720 But until the laws are changed, my job's to get back your boxes of smut. 214 00:15:28,846 --> 00:15:31,223 Since I'll be doing it holding my nose, I'll be doing it with one hand. 215 00:15:33,392 --> 00:15:36,728 Excuse me. Jerry, it's time for your collagen treatment. 216 00:15:36,812 --> 00:15:39,857 And don't forget, you're having your pores sucked at 3:00. 217 00:15:40,941 --> 00:15:42,442 Thank you, Sylvia. 218 00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,987 Boys, as you can see, I've got my work to do. 219 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:48,282 Why don't you get the hell out of here and do yours? 220 00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:57,040 You have very strong hands. 221 00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:59,459 Hey, Sylvia Wiss! 222 00:16:00,794 --> 00:16:02,212 Yes, that's me. 223 00:16:02,296 --> 00:16:05,174 They oughta transfer you to Missing Persons. You know everybody. 224 00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:10,262 Don't you read the papers? Saturday is Bait magazine's 25th anniversary party. 225 00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:13,557 Caesar is reuniting all of his former Baitmates. 226 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:18,770 Miss Sylvia Wiss, right here, was the very first Baitmate ever. 227 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:20,272 Fascinating. 228 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:25,152 Sergeant, if I asked your honest opinion about something, would I get it? 229 00:16:25,277 --> 00:16:27,237 You can bet the house on it. 230 00:16:28,363 --> 00:16:31,200 Would you say these look like the breasts of a 43-year-old woman? 231 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:37,915 No. No, they don't, Miss Wiss. 232 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:41,418 They're quite impressive, bordering on spectacular. 233 00:16:41,460 --> 00:16:43,378 We have to be running along now. 234 00:16:43,504 --> 00:16:45,881 What's your hurry? 235 00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:48,592 Wouldn't you like to have an early lunch? 236 00:16:49,801 --> 00:16:52,304 Listen, Joe, it's the darndest thing. 237 00:16:52,429 --> 00:16:55,891 I seem to have left my notebook in the car. 238 00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,853 It's gonna take me 15, 20 min... A half an hour to find it. 239 00:16:59,978 --> 00:17:04,775 Why don't you pump Sylvia privately for information? 240 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,860 And I'II, you know... 241 00:17:06,985 --> 00:17:10,781 - Nice meeting you, Miss Wiss. - I had a good time, too. 242 00:17:10,822 --> 00:17:14,493 Come on. Let's go to the car and find that notebook. 243 00:17:15,869 --> 00:17:17,746 Are you crazy? 244 00:17:17,871 --> 00:17:19,790 Sylvia Wiss wanted you. 245 00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:22,960 Let me tell you something. 246 00:17:23,085 --> 00:17:26,463 There are two things which differentiate the human species from animals. 247 00:17:26,505 --> 00:17:30,259 One, we use cutlery. Two, we can control our sexual urges. 248 00:17:30,384 --> 00:17:34,888 You might be an exception, but don't drag me into your private hell. 249 00:17:36,807 --> 00:17:39,685 You've got a lot of repressed feelings, don't you? 250 00:17:39,810 --> 00:17:42,688 Must be what keeps your hair up. 251 00:17:52,990 --> 00:17:57,202 - What is bothering you besides me? - I'm thinking about those Pagans. 252 00:17:57,327 --> 00:18:01,373 If all they were after was revenge against Caesar, it's slime versus slime. 253 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:06,170 But when they attack great institutions like our city zoo, my hackles turn red. 254 00:18:06,295 --> 00:18:09,673 You'll lose those red hackles if you eat those chili dogs. 255 00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:11,341 I can handle it. 256 00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:15,220 They're the worst thing for you. Filled with nitrates, toxins, poisons. 257 00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,181 And you're doubling up on them. 258 00:18:17,306 --> 00:18:21,185 Mister, outside of cigarettes I only have one vice: Chili dogs. 259 00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:24,229 So pipe down and let me enjoy my lunch in peace. 260 00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:27,983 Do you know the things that can fall into an industrial sausage press... 261 00:18:28,108 --> 00:18:31,653 not excluding rodent hairs and bug excrement? 262 00:18:31,737 --> 00:18:33,822 I hate you, Streebek. 263 00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:47,628 Except for you and canned cling peaches, I'd be hard-pressed to find anyone... 264 00:18:47,753 --> 00:18:50,464 that doesn't know you should never leave your car keys in the ignition. 265 00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:53,842 It's called a mistake. But I don't suppose you ever make any of those. 266 00:18:53,884 --> 00:18:56,303 At ease, Streebek. We got another one. 267 00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,889 Chemical train hijack at the freight yards. 268 00:18:59,014 --> 00:19:01,558 Damn Pagans must be living on No-Doz. 269 00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:04,019 Yes, sir. We'll roll as soon as we requisition a new... 270 00:19:04,061 --> 00:19:07,481 One more thing. Police and fire departments... 271 00:19:07,606 --> 00:19:11,527 have been reporting vehicles stolen, so keep an eye on your car. 272 00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,577 [Friday] 1:15 p.m. After requisitioning a replacement vehicle... 273 00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:23,288 we were issued a new Ford Escort subcompact... 274 00:19:23,413 --> 00:19:28,418 and responded to the call at Southern California's largest railhead... 275 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:32,172 with more than 1,000 miles of track lying parallel over 2 million ties... 276 00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:34,258 hewn from majestic redwood forests. 277 00:19:35,509 --> 00:19:39,096 3,000 gallons of two deadly chemicals had been siphoned individually... 278 00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:42,224 from their respective hijacked tanker cars. 279 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:45,727 We questioned the battered train engineer, Senor Tito Provencal... 280 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:49,439 and attempted to determine the precise identification of the missing gases... 281 00:19:49,481 --> 00:19:53,193 from the owner of the chemicals company, a Mr Roy Grest. 282 00:19:53,277 --> 00:19:58,240 Actually trichlornitromethan and the pseudo-halogenic cyanogen. 283 00:19:58,323 --> 00:20:00,367 Pseudo-halogenic cyanogen. 284 00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:04,121 They're shipped in separate containers. Mixed properly in the exact ratio... 285 00:20:04,163 --> 00:20:07,499 they form a liquid fertilizer that's clear as water. 286 00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:09,918 - But you wouldn't want to smell it. - Why is that? 287 00:20:10,002 --> 00:20:13,297 It burns the eyes, lungs, and throat, causes vomiting... 288 00:20:13,338 --> 00:20:15,632 and if continuously inhaled, death. 289 00:20:15,757 --> 00:20:18,218 Sort of like your aftershave. 290 00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:33,233 [Announcer] It's time to "Advance" with the Reverend Jonathan Whirley... 291 00:20:33,275 --> 00:20:37,571 founder of MAMA, the Moral Advance Movement of America. 292 00:20:37,696 --> 00:20:42,701 Today, Dr Whirley's special guest is police commissioner for Los Angeles... 293 00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:45,370 Ms. Jane Kirkpatrick. 294 00:20:45,454 --> 00:20:47,956 Dr Whirley. 295 00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:52,461 Thank you, George, and welcome once again to Advance. 296 00:20:53,587 --> 00:20:54,796 Commissioner... 297 00:20:54,922 --> 00:20:57,508 Please, will you call me Jane? 298 00:20:57,591 --> 00:21:01,470 Only if you call me Jonathan. [Chuckling] 299 00:21:01,553 --> 00:21:04,431 Have you seen this guy? What a mental fur ball. 300 00:21:04,556 --> 00:21:06,934 Happens to be one of my favourite shows. 301 00:21:07,059 --> 00:21:09,019 Why don't you listen and learn? 302 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:14,066 What a deep honour it is for this city that you have chosen Los Angeles... 303 00:21:14,191 --> 00:21:18,612 to be the new focal point for the Moral Advance Movement of America. 304 00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:22,783 It's quite simple, Jane. 305 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:26,078 If one wishes to effect a financial upheaval in this country... 306 00:21:26,203 --> 00:21:28,622 one should set his or her sights on Wall Street. 307 00:21:28,747 --> 00:21:32,459 If one wishes to revolutionize the political system... 308 00:21:32,543 --> 00:21:35,546 he or she would naturally go to Washington. 309 00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:39,216 But when dealing... 310 00:21:39,299 --> 00:21:42,553 with pornography, filth, crime... 311 00:21:42,636 --> 00:21:44,805 degradation... 312 00:21:44,847 --> 00:21:48,517 what better place is there to begin with than Los Angeles... 313 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:52,062 the current capital of depravity... 314 00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:55,858 in what sadly passes for the modern world. 315 00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:07,202 [Friday] 2:15 p.m. 316 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:11,957 We had been advised to follow up on a theft at 8823467 Magnolia Boulevard. 317 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,293 At this time of day, it took us 20 minutes to get there. 318 00:22:14,418 --> 00:22:16,378 The complainant was the landlady, Enid Borden. 319 00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,589 Some Pagan cards had been found. 320 00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:26,555 - What the hell do you want? - Police officers, ma'am. 321 00:22:26,597 --> 00:22:28,682 About time you pencil dicks showed up. 322 00:22:28,807 --> 00:22:31,268 Why couldn't you have gotten here before that big, bad... 323 00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:34,855 stupid-Iooking piece of sewage breath stole my wedding dress? 324 00:22:34,897 --> 00:22:37,608 Sewage breath would be your nickname for... 325 00:22:37,733 --> 00:22:39,234 Muzz. Emil Muzz. 326 00:22:39,318 --> 00:22:41,612 Not much of an improvement. 327 00:22:41,737 --> 00:22:47,034 That ass-wipe also stiffed me for two months' rent when his cheque bounced. 328 00:22:47,159 --> 00:22:49,328 Goddam puss-faced pimp stick. 329 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,663 All that was left in his room... 330 00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:54,082 was a big box of these things. 331 00:22:58,921 --> 00:23:02,174 Any idea where Emil Muzz could be now? Friends? Family? 332 00:23:02,216 --> 00:23:05,761 He was a Ioner. Took off in the middle of the night. 333 00:23:05,844 --> 00:23:07,930 Useless scum-lapping shitbag. 334 00:23:08,055 --> 00:23:10,265 Just the facts, ma'am. He leave anything else behind? 335 00:23:10,307 --> 00:23:14,102 Yeah, a tape deck which I had to sell to make up for the lost rent. 336 00:23:14,269 --> 00:23:18,232 So there's nothing you can do about it, you slimy little jizz bucket. 337 00:23:18,315 --> 00:23:22,486 Yes, ma'am. Although you could be cited for swearing at us. 338 00:23:22,611 --> 00:23:24,571 Says who, flathead? 339 00:23:24,696 --> 00:23:28,659 The California penal code 314.1 covering obscene conduct in public. 340 00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:30,160 Good enough for you? 341 00:23:30,285 --> 00:23:33,747 Them magazines and papers were his down in the trash. 342 00:23:33,872 --> 00:23:35,833 No cheques or money. I looked. 343 00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:38,293 I should've thrown it in the river the day he left... 344 00:23:38,377 --> 00:23:41,797 but unlike some people, I have a heart, goddam it! 345 00:23:41,839 --> 00:23:44,174 That miserable bag of puke. 346 00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:50,097 I think we're finished here, don't you, Detective Streebek? 347 00:23:52,015 --> 00:23:55,227 Didn't she say she threw some of his stuff in the trash? 348 00:23:55,352 --> 00:23:58,313 There it goes. Let's roll. 349 00:24:13,078 --> 00:24:15,455 Am I glad I got transferred into Robbery-Homicide! 350 00:24:15,581 --> 00:24:19,084 You can almost reach out and touch the tension. 351 00:24:19,168 --> 00:24:21,920 What the hell was that? 352 00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:23,922 It has its days. 353 00:24:24,006 --> 00:24:26,175 Yeah. Like today. 354 00:24:26,258 --> 00:24:30,929 Sitting in a park, getting eaten by ducks, sifting through garbage. 355 00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:34,850 Hello! Photographs of people. Kinda faded. 356 00:24:34,975 --> 00:24:38,228 - Maybe one of them's Muzz. - We couldn't be that lucky. 357 00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:44,151 Hey, phone number. Think it means something? 358 00:24:44,193 --> 00:24:47,696 There's only one way to find out, isn't there? 359 00:24:53,160 --> 00:24:55,537 It's for you. The president. 360 00:25:10,219 --> 00:25:11,470 It's ringing. 361 00:25:15,307 --> 00:25:18,268 - Good afternoon. Caesar residence. - Bingo. 362 00:25:18,352 --> 00:25:20,979 - Hello. May I help you? - Emil Muzz, please. 363 00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:24,525 - He's not here right now. - This is Sergeant Friday, L.A.P.D. 364 00:25:24,650 --> 00:25:26,693 Could you tell us where he is? 365 00:25:26,735 --> 00:25:29,488 He's Mr Caesar's driver... 366 00:25:29,530 --> 00:25:33,784 and Mr Caesar's sailing on his yacht. 367 00:25:33,867 --> 00:25:36,078 That's it. The limousine from the mansion. 368 00:25:36,119 --> 00:25:37,955 Yeah, and Emil Muzz. 369 00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:40,582 Let's check Enid Borden's description. 370 00:25:40,707 --> 00:25:42,459 Well... 371 00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:44,753 "Big, bad, stupid-Iooking." 372 00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,588 An exact match. 373 00:26:00,352 --> 00:26:02,437 Police officers. Emil Muzz? 374 00:26:06,817 --> 00:26:09,236 We need to ask you a few questions. 375 00:26:09,403 --> 00:26:11,321 Blow it out your pants, cop. 376 00:26:11,405 --> 00:26:14,449 Good, Muzz. Give yourself a hard time. 377 00:26:22,624 --> 00:26:24,293 I'll drive! 378 00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:49,568 - What are you doing? - Calling for backup. 379 00:26:49,693 --> 00:26:52,613 - Why? - There are regulations for pursuit. 380 00:26:52,696 --> 00:26:56,283 - We're gonna follow every one of them. - Forget it. This is our collar. 381 00:26:56,408 --> 00:26:58,452 - Our collar, huh? - I think so. 382 00:26:58,494 --> 00:27:00,787 Let me tell you something, Mr Lone Wolf. 383 00:27:00,829 --> 00:27:04,583 The dedicated people of the Los Angeles Police Department are one big family... 384 00:27:04,708 --> 00:27:07,419 from my brother, the traffic cop, to my sister, the metre maid. 385 00:27:07,503 --> 00:27:11,089 And when one of us makes a collar, we all make a collar. 386 00:27:11,215 --> 00:27:14,760 Are you on any medication that as your partner I should be made aware of? 387 00:27:14,801 --> 00:27:18,055 2-King-14. I am requesting a backup... 388 00:27:22,559 --> 00:27:25,395 Oh, no! Ahh! 389 00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:42,037 Look out! 390 00:27:56,885 --> 00:27:58,345 Look out! Muppets. 391 00:28:17,781 --> 00:28:22,619 Reckless endangerment of human life, wilful disregard of private property... 392 00:28:22,744 --> 00:28:26,373 - He's really racking up the violations. - Not him, you! 393 00:28:26,498 --> 00:28:30,002 Your ticket back to civilian life, Mr l-Like-To-Throw-The-Book-Out-The-Window. 394 00:28:30,085 --> 00:28:31,837 That's a good idea. 395 00:28:39,261 --> 00:28:41,096 Ever been to Hawaii? 396 00:28:52,399 --> 00:28:54,651 Look out! 397 00:29:02,534 --> 00:29:04,411 Surf's up, but not for you. 398 00:29:04,495 --> 00:29:07,789 You'll be hanging 10 downtown. Read him his rights. 399 00:29:07,831 --> 00:29:09,917 Emil Muzz, guess what! 400 00:29:10,042 --> 00:29:12,127 You are under arrest! 401 00:29:14,838 --> 00:29:17,382 Sit down, unless you're growing! 402 00:29:17,466 --> 00:29:20,511 We've got you on '87 motre vehicle violations. 403 00:29:20,636 --> 00:29:23,347 It's only time before we tie you in to one of those Pagan jobs. 404 00:29:23,430 --> 00:29:25,557 And you stole your landlady's wedding dress... 405 00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:29,019 which is the only endearing thing about you, so talk to us. 406 00:29:31,605 --> 00:29:34,399 Listen, you public pawn. My attorney's on his way. 407 00:29:34,483 --> 00:29:37,653 We both know I'll be out on bail. 408 00:29:37,778 --> 00:29:40,072 So take off these cuffs and open the door! 409 00:29:40,155 --> 00:29:45,285 I wouldn't worry about the door. Scum who'd represent you would ooze under it. 410 00:29:45,369 --> 00:29:49,164 Joe, why don't you go get a couple cups of coffee? 411 00:29:49,289 --> 00:29:52,042 I could use one. You want anything? 412 00:29:52,125 --> 00:29:55,963 Chewing gum, Snickers bar, and my attorney, badge kisser! 413 00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:13,689 Well, Emil. 414 00:30:15,357 --> 00:30:17,526 It's just you... 415 00:30:18,652 --> 00:30:20,904 and me... 416 00:30:20,946 --> 00:30:22,906 and your balls... 417 00:30:23,031 --> 00:30:25,159 and this drawer. 418 00:30:30,330 --> 00:30:35,377 - [Drawer Slamming] - [Emil Screaming] 419 00:30:42,384 --> 00:30:44,011 [Friday] 4:15 p.m. 420 00:30:44,094 --> 00:30:48,557 By the time I had returned with coffee, Muzz was singing like Beverly Sills. 421 00:30:48,682 --> 00:30:51,727 He had been planning to attend a meeting that night at the Pagan clubhouse... 422 00:30:51,852 --> 00:30:55,063 but he refused to divulge the time or location of that meeting. 423 00:30:55,189 --> 00:30:57,482 Muzz, let's run through it again. 424 00:30:57,649 --> 00:31:01,320 You say you're a Pagan, but you work for Jerry Caesar. That makes you a plant. 425 00:31:01,445 --> 00:31:04,031 Make it easy on yourself. Lead us to the stolen magazines. 426 00:31:04,156 --> 00:31:06,283 Jump on this and spin, cop. 427 00:31:06,408 --> 00:31:09,578 I'm not saying another word until my attorney gets here! 428 00:31:09,703 --> 00:31:10,871 Joe... 429 00:31:10,996 --> 00:31:15,459 wouldn't a couple of Danishes go good with this coffee? 430 00:31:24,134 --> 00:31:28,013 At 7:13 p.m., Captain Gannon authorized us to stake out Muzz's clubhouse... 431 00:31:28,096 --> 00:31:31,266 Iocated in the ecologically-balanced San Gabriel Mountains. 432 00:31:31,350 --> 00:31:34,436 When a code-5 authorization for undercover surveillance is approved... 433 00:31:34,561 --> 00:31:38,482 officers proceed to the building where the department has research... 434 00:31:38,565 --> 00:31:43,362 on the precise behaviour and dress of today's average street gang member. 435 00:31:49,076 --> 00:31:52,538 Friday, I think we finally found your look. 436 00:31:52,621 --> 00:31:54,206 9:56 p.m. 437 00:31:54,289 --> 00:31:57,543 We were issued appropriate apparel and withdrew from receiving... 438 00:31:57,626 --> 00:32:01,463 one distressed 1985 unmarked Ford sedan. 439 00:32:01,547 --> 00:32:05,551 It's right up here, off highway 61! 440 00:32:05,676 --> 00:32:07,928 Yeah. Probably some rat-hole roadhouse... 441 00:32:08,011 --> 00:32:11,515 where they watch TV and suck beers all day. 442 00:32:11,598 --> 00:32:13,976 [Siren Wailing] 443 00:32:14,017 --> 00:32:18,772 Uh-oh. Highway patrol. And they're pulling us over. 444 00:32:34,663 --> 00:32:37,749 - Licence and registration. - What was the offence? 445 00:32:37,833 --> 00:32:40,377 - It's okay. They're Pagans. - Yeah? 446 00:32:40,502 --> 00:32:44,673 Yeah. Show 'em your card, Muzz, Emil. 447 00:32:44,715 --> 00:32:47,384 Yeah, that's right. That's me. 448 00:32:47,509 --> 00:32:49,803 Muzz, Emil. Emil Muzz. 449 00:32:49,887 --> 00:32:52,306 I've been sick. 450 00:32:52,347 --> 00:32:55,976 Sorry to bother you, fellas. We can't be too careful, huh? 451 00:32:56,101 --> 00:32:58,478 We don't want any non-Pagans around here. 452 00:32:58,562 --> 00:33:01,148 Especially tonight, right? Huh? 453 00:33:12,993 --> 00:33:15,954 Follow us, fellas. The party's just starting! 454 00:33:23,045 --> 00:33:24,546 Bogus cops! 455 00:33:24,671 --> 00:33:28,217 No matter how many times I see that, it never ceases to disgust me. 456 00:33:28,258 --> 00:33:31,887 People dressing up in strange clothes pretending to be who they're not? 457 00:33:32,012 --> 00:33:34,681 Exactly! That kind of behaviour... 458 00:33:34,723 --> 00:33:36,975 Just get out that list of stolen black and whites. 459 00:33:41,396 --> 00:33:44,691 9-9-9-4-7-4. Oh, yeah, it's hot, all right. 460 00:33:44,733 --> 00:33:46,026 Yeah. 461 00:33:59,122 --> 00:34:01,625 Howdy. I'm Emil Muzz, and I'm a Pagan. 462 00:34:01,708 --> 00:34:04,628 [Laughing] 463 00:34:17,224 --> 00:34:19,768 Good evening, Pagans. 464 00:34:19,893 --> 00:34:22,271 Don't forget your goat leggings. 465 00:34:35,701 --> 00:34:38,078 Must be every other stolen police vehicle on our hot sheet. 466 00:34:38,162 --> 00:34:40,372 We're onto something here. 467 00:34:40,455 --> 00:34:42,624 You think so? 468 00:34:45,627 --> 00:34:47,921 - I see school is out. - Yeah. 469 00:34:47,963 --> 00:34:51,967 All I can think of is 38 kids standing individually on Ionely corners... 470 00:34:52,092 --> 00:34:54,386 waiting for a bus that will never come. 471 00:34:54,469 --> 00:34:57,556 Put your goat leggings on and try to blend in. 472 00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:05,856 [Barking] 473 00:35:09,943 --> 00:35:12,571 - Put it to sleep. - Down, boys. 474 00:35:12,696 --> 00:35:16,700 [Electricity Zapping] 475 00:35:16,742 --> 00:35:20,078 You have to admire their techniques in crowd control. 476 00:35:20,162 --> 00:35:24,416 Yeah. Cosy little group. Just like your local Rotarians. 477 00:35:24,500 --> 00:35:28,921 Listen, we get a little wild at times, sure... 478 00:35:29,004 --> 00:35:31,340 but nothing like this. 479 00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:49,691 I'd say this is shaping up to be a little more than a series of robberies. 480 00:35:49,816 --> 00:35:53,987 [Friday] "People against goodness and normalcy." 481 00:35:54,071 --> 00:35:56,365 P-A-G-A-N. 482 00:35:56,448 --> 00:35:58,033 Pagan. 483 00:35:58,158 --> 00:35:59,743 Nice work, Joe. 484 00:35:59,827 --> 00:36:05,040 Ah, here are two who have not yet sipped the nectar of Shaitan. 485 00:36:12,798 --> 00:36:17,261 Small surprise before the ceremony starts? 486 00:36:17,344 --> 00:36:19,888 Why not? 487 00:36:22,641 --> 00:36:24,935 - You? - I had a big lunch. 488 00:36:26,770 --> 00:36:30,774 }} [Music Playing] 489 00:36:54,673 --> 00:36:57,968 [Horn Playing Call To Order] 490 00:36:59,219 --> 00:37:03,056 I, your High Priest... 491 00:37:03,182 --> 00:37:07,019 of living Pagan perfection... 492 00:37:07,102 --> 00:37:11,440 do call the name Gathool! 493 00:37:11,565 --> 00:37:13,859 [Pagans] Do call the name Gathool! 494 00:37:14,776 --> 00:37:16,612 Eelbazel! 495 00:37:16,737 --> 00:37:19,573 Ignodrohoth! 496 00:37:19,698 --> 00:37:21,533 Shaitan! 497 00:37:21,617 --> 00:37:25,204 Shaitan! Shaitan! Shaitan! 498 00:37:25,871 --> 00:37:27,998 Prepare the virgin. 499 00:37:28,081 --> 00:37:32,002 [Cheering] 500 00:37:32,085 --> 00:37:35,506 "Prepare the virgin." I don't like the sound of that. 501 00:37:35,589 --> 00:37:38,050 Let's just hope they're not referring to you. 502 00:37:39,134 --> 00:37:40,844 With this bat... 503 00:37:40,969 --> 00:37:43,805 I do consecrate. 504 00:37:43,931 --> 00:37:45,766 With this bat, he does consecrate. 505 00:37:45,849 --> 00:37:49,061 - The Madagascar Bat from the zoo. - Good eye. 506 00:37:49,144 --> 00:37:52,064 With this lion's mane... 507 00:37:52,105 --> 00:37:53,774 I do consecrate. 508 00:37:53,815 --> 00:37:58,237 With this lion's mane, he does consecrate. 509 00:37:58,320 --> 00:38:02,741 All that's missing is one humongous, 30-foot, groundhog-gulping reptile. 510 00:38:02,866 --> 00:38:06,245 For the final touch to our brew tonight... 511 00:38:06,411 --> 00:38:10,749 a pristine virgin in a gown of white. 512 00:38:23,303 --> 00:38:25,764 Evil bringeth here our plea. 513 00:38:25,848 --> 00:38:28,725 She's as pure as she can be. 514 00:38:28,767 --> 00:38:31,603 White and clean as driven snow. 515 00:38:31,645 --> 00:38:34,189 From Orange County, here we go! 516 00:38:34,231 --> 00:38:36,859 [Cheering] 517 00:38:39,319 --> 00:38:42,114 Two to one, that's Enid Borden's wedding dress. 518 00:38:44,199 --> 00:38:47,995 Twenty to one, Enid Borden never looked that beautiful on her wedding day. 519 00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,247 Virgin! Virgin! 520 00:38:50,289 --> 00:38:53,458 Virgin! Virgin! 521 00:38:53,584 --> 00:38:56,253 [Screaming] 522 00:38:57,713 --> 00:38:59,882 - Friday! - Let's move! 523 00:39:07,556 --> 00:39:09,600 Help! 524 00:39:09,641 --> 00:39:11,101 Can you swim? 525 00:39:11,185 --> 00:39:13,687 Red Cross. Junior Lifesaver with clusters. 526 00:39:13,812 --> 00:39:15,814 Silly me. 527 00:39:21,904 --> 00:39:25,115 - Friday! - Streebek? 528 00:39:25,240 --> 00:39:27,618 I found the snake. 529 00:39:27,743 --> 00:39:30,287 Help! Help! 530 00:39:31,371 --> 00:39:33,499 - Help! - Hang in there. I'm coming. 531 00:39:33,624 --> 00:39:36,376 What goes on? Who are those two clowns? 532 00:39:36,418 --> 00:39:38,837 Who are you? 533 00:39:39,004 --> 00:39:41,882 Friday, Streebek, Los Angeles police officers. 534 00:39:46,094 --> 00:39:49,640 - Where are you from? - Anaheim. 535 00:39:51,308 --> 00:39:53,435 Her favourite colour is blue. 536 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:55,729 Jesus Christ! I'm about to be eaten! 537 00:39:58,148 --> 00:40:02,027 Some big guys grabbed me off the street last night. 538 00:40:03,654 --> 00:40:08,909 - Were you sexually assaulted? - No, thank God. They needed a virgin. 539 00:40:09,952 --> 00:40:12,371 You're still a virgin? 540 00:40:13,664 --> 00:40:16,416 My hat's off to you, ma'am. Hope you stay that way. 541 00:40:16,542 --> 00:40:19,545 [Cheering] 542 00:40:19,670 --> 00:40:23,423 Streebek, quick! Do something. It's constricting. 543 00:40:23,507 --> 00:40:26,218 Distract it. 544 00:40:52,202 --> 00:40:53,954 Anybody need boots? 545 00:40:57,833 --> 00:40:59,209 Stop them! 546 00:40:59,293 --> 00:41:00,711 Go! 547 00:41:15,017 --> 00:41:18,061 Kill the good! Kill the good! 548 00:41:18,145 --> 00:41:22,316 Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good! 549 00:41:22,441 --> 00:41:25,444 Kill the good! Kill the good! Kill the good! 550 00:41:25,486 --> 00:41:27,112 You are under arrest. 551 00:41:29,323 --> 00:41:31,074 You can remain silent. 552 00:41:31,200 --> 00:41:35,871 If you waive that right, anything you say can and will be used against you. 553 00:41:35,996 --> 00:41:38,749 For crying out loud! 554 00:41:51,011 --> 00:41:53,514 How come his is so much bigger than yours? 555 00:41:53,555 --> 00:41:55,891 - Miss? - The gun. 556 00:41:56,016 --> 00:41:58,852 I've never needed more. 557 00:42:14,952 --> 00:42:16,912 Come on, Joe! 558 00:42:26,129 --> 00:42:28,549 Gosh! I'm terribly sorry! 559 00:42:37,140 --> 00:42:39,434 Our car! We can steal it back. 560 00:42:39,518 --> 00:42:41,228 Right. 561 00:42:41,270 --> 00:42:43,146 I'll drive. 562 00:42:45,357 --> 00:42:48,068 Forget it. We're responsible for a civilian's safety. 563 00:42:48,193 --> 00:42:51,238 And frankly, you don't belong behind the wheel of a car. 564 00:43:00,330 --> 00:43:02,583 Hang on and keep your head down. 565 00:43:14,803 --> 00:43:16,388 Good driving! 566 00:43:16,513 --> 00:43:19,099 Yes, you were wonderful. 567 00:43:19,224 --> 00:43:22,561 Excuse me, miss. I never did catch your name. 568 00:43:22,644 --> 00:43:26,273 Swail. Connie Swail. 569 00:43:26,356 --> 00:43:29,651 - Your name is Friday? - Joe. 570 00:43:29,735 --> 00:43:31,737 Joe. 571 00:43:33,447 --> 00:43:35,157 Joe. 572 00:43:40,078 --> 00:43:42,206 Pep. 573 00:43:42,372 --> 00:43:44,082 Pep Streebek. 574 00:43:45,250 --> 00:43:47,628 Glad to meet you. 575 00:43:56,220 --> 00:43:59,389 [Friday] You certainly have a beautiful home, Miss Swail. 576 00:43:59,515 --> 00:44:03,101 You bet. Can the Beaver come out and play? 577 00:44:13,946 --> 00:44:15,864 - [Streebek] Good night. - [Connie] Good night. 578 00:44:23,121 --> 00:44:25,874 Will I ever see you again, Joe? 579 00:44:25,958 --> 00:44:28,752 Absolutely. You're our main witness. 580 00:44:28,836 --> 00:44:31,588 We'd like you to come downtown, take a look at the mug books... 581 00:44:31,672 --> 00:44:34,049 see if you can make a positive I.D. On the man you saw. 582 00:44:34,174 --> 00:44:36,802 I'll have a policewoman come here tonight, keep an eye on the house... 583 00:44:36,885 --> 00:44:39,054 and bring you downtown to Parker Center tomorrow. 584 00:44:39,137 --> 00:44:40,764 Here's my card. 585 00:44:41,890 --> 00:44:45,102 You'll be needed for further questioning. 586 00:44:53,986 --> 00:44:56,905 I don't know why, but... 587 00:44:57,030 --> 00:45:00,826 somehow I feel I could tell you anything, Joe. 588 00:45:05,247 --> 00:45:08,667 Friday, January 9, 3:12 a.m. 589 00:45:08,709 --> 00:45:11,670 We returned from Anaheim where we had dropped off the virgin Connie Swail. 590 00:45:11,753 --> 00:45:14,840 I telephoned Captain Gannon at home, waking him. 591 00:45:14,965 --> 00:45:17,885 After absorbing minutes of gratuitous verbal abuse... 592 00:45:17,968 --> 00:45:21,054 I requested him to meet us as soon as possible at his office. 593 00:45:22,181 --> 00:45:23,891 Come in. 594 00:45:23,932 --> 00:45:26,185 - Evening, Captain. - Captain. 595 00:45:27,853 --> 00:45:29,771 3:35 a.m. 596 00:45:29,855 --> 00:45:32,941 We related the details of our successful follow-up on the Pagan robberies... 597 00:45:33,025 --> 00:45:36,278 and briefed Captain Gannon on the outlandish festival we had attended... 598 00:45:36,445 --> 00:45:38,572 even going so far as to demonstrate the goat dance... 599 00:45:38,614 --> 00:45:41,783 we had engaged in as part of our undercover role. 600 00:45:44,661 --> 00:45:48,916 This music was pulsating over and over again. 601 00:45:52,336 --> 00:45:54,004 Stop it! 602 00:45:54,046 --> 00:45:56,673 At this point, Captain Gannon became quite upset. 603 00:45:56,798 --> 00:45:58,800 He accused us of being on a drinking binge... 604 00:45:58,926 --> 00:46:02,304 and based on our appearance, seemed reluctant to contact the sheriff... 605 00:46:02,387 --> 00:46:04,264 to investigate the area. 606 00:46:04,389 --> 00:46:07,935 Captain, call the sheriff's department. I have the directions to the compound. 607 00:46:15,442 --> 00:46:16,985 Hay fever? 608 00:46:17,110 --> 00:46:19,321 Illegal hallucinogenic love drugs. 609 00:46:19,446 --> 00:46:22,699 The Pagans were taking them. We tried to fit in. 610 00:46:22,783 --> 00:46:25,244 If it weren't for the drugs, we couldn't have gotten away from the snake. 611 00:46:25,327 --> 00:46:27,120 The snake! 612 00:46:27,204 --> 00:46:30,999 I forgot about the snake. How big did you say it was again? 613 00:46:31,124 --> 00:46:32,584 - 30 feet. - 20 feet. 614 00:46:32,626 --> 00:46:37,256 We'd like to have you come to the crime scene and visually verify our report. 615 00:46:37,339 --> 00:46:39,383 If you could call Commissioner Kirkpatrick... 616 00:46:39,424 --> 00:46:42,761 we believe this incident, because of its magnitude, is worthy of her attention. 617 00:46:42,803 --> 00:46:46,098 Do you have any idea what time it is? 618 00:46:46,181 --> 00:46:48,392 - Yes, sir. - Don't ask him that, Captain. 619 00:46:48,475 --> 00:46:52,437 - It's 4:27 a.m., sir. - He lives for that. It's in his blood. 620 00:46:54,648 --> 00:46:57,151 Thursday, January 8, 5:45 a.m. 621 00:46:57,234 --> 00:47:00,362 Having gained Captain Gannon's grudging agreement to contact the commissioner... 622 00:47:00,487 --> 00:47:02,990 and proceed with us to the San Gabriel Mountains... 623 00:47:03,073 --> 00:47:06,910 we eventually arrived at the scene of the previous night's debauchery. 624 00:47:14,585 --> 00:47:18,213 What is this? Some sort of juvenile cop humour? 625 00:47:18,255 --> 00:47:20,966 And where the hell is this supposed Pagan festival? 626 00:47:21,049 --> 00:47:24,803 I can't understand it. There was a huge screen with Pagan vision written on it. 627 00:47:24,928 --> 00:47:28,348 Yeah! Yeah! This was the hole that was filled with water. 628 00:47:28,432 --> 00:47:32,227 We had to dive in to save the virgin being eaten by the giant snake. 629 00:47:32,311 --> 00:47:34,980 Who are these painted cretins? 630 00:47:35,105 --> 00:47:39,151 - Two of my best men, ma'am. - That's right. That's right. 631 00:47:39,234 --> 00:47:41,570 They're heading up the Pagan investigation. 632 00:47:41,737 --> 00:47:45,991 They were heading up the investigation. Now you may consider them off it. 633 00:47:46,033 --> 00:47:48,660 - But, Commissioner? - Gannon. 634 00:47:48,785 --> 00:47:51,288 What am I going to tell the press? 635 00:47:51,413 --> 00:47:54,917 That now we are investigating invisible crimes on the word of two... 636 00:47:54,958 --> 00:47:56,793 trick-or-treaters? 637 00:47:56,835 --> 00:48:00,130 You are a civilian and probably unaware the department's "regs"... 638 00:48:00,172 --> 00:48:03,342 authorize us to wear specialized apparel during a simulation surveillance. 639 00:48:04,343 --> 00:48:08,972 - I assume you were once a civilian. - Yes, ma'am. 640 00:48:09,097 --> 00:48:13,393 If you do not drop that insubordinate tone, you'll be one again soon. 641 00:48:16,021 --> 00:48:17,815 Wait a minute, Friday. 642 00:48:19,316 --> 00:48:21,985 I've never known you to act this way. 643 00:48:22,027 --> 00:48:26,073 Certainly not the behaviour your Uncle Joe would have approved of. 644 00:48:26,114 --> 00:48:29,284 You know the kind of man he was. 645 00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:34,331 I suggest you try to be a little more like him from now on. 646 00:48:34,414 --> 00:48:36,333 Yeah, sir. I'll try. 647 00:48:37,376 --> 00:48:38,502 Good. 648 00:48:55,227 --> 00:48:58,981 I'm sorry, Joe. He's not in any of these. 649 00:48:59,106 --> 00:49:01,150 And I'll never forget his face. 650 00:49:02,192 --> 00:49:07,281 Okay. I guess this officially closes my end of the investigation. 651 00:49:11,285 --> 00:49:14,788 As far as your personal safety is concerned, I wouldn't worry. 652 00:49:14,872 --> 00:49:17,791 That guy's probably 200 miles from here by now. 653 00:49:26,842 --> 00:49:31,180 10:30 a.m. I picked up Streebek at his sanitationally-questionable commune... 654 00:49:31,305 --> 00:49:34,391 his apartment building in the "come as you are" section of Venice Beach. 655 00:49:47,946 --> 00:49:51,116 The door was opened by Police Officer Betsy Blees... 656 00:49:51,158 --> 00:49:55,537 who had dropped by to chat about more effective methods of law enforcement. 657 00:49:55,621 --> 00:49:58,040 They'd been playing a version of good-cop, bad-cop. 658 00:49:58,165 --> 00:50:02,377 Though I was unable to fathom the rules, it seemed Streebek had lost this round. 659 00:50:03,670 --> 00:50:05,631 Playtime was over... 660 00:50:05,714 --> 00:50:08,258 and it was back to routine duty for me and Pep Streebek. 661 00:50:08,383 --> 00:50:13,472 Joe, I suddenly got very hungry. Let's grab some sushi. 662 00:50:13,597 --> 00:50:17,559 We're late for our watch already, and raw tuna isn't my bag. 663 00:50:37,037 --> 00:50:39,164 My hat was in that car. 664 00:50:39,289 --> 00:50:43,043 - I can tell who reblocked it for you. - Pagans. 665 00:50:43,168 --> 00:50:44,628 I need coffee. 666 00:50:44,670 --> 00:50:47,256 I know where they serve the best in town. Come on. 667 00:50:47,381 --> 00:50:51,426 }} [Rock And Roll Playing] 668 00:51:16,994 --> 00:51:18,453 Ma'am. 669 00:51:28,255 --> 00:51:32,634 I hate to admit it, but for once in your life you're right. This is good coffee. 670 00:51:32,718 --> 00:51:34,928 You should try the French toast. 671 00:51:34,970 --> 00:51:37,264 Joe, lend me 20 bucks. 672 00:51:37,306 --> 00:51:40,934 Do I know you long enough to lend you money? I don't think so. 673 00:51:40,976 --> 00:51:42,895 We've been ordered off the Pagans... 674 00:51:43,061 --> 00:51:46,523 but that doesn't mean we can't follow up on one of their thefts. 675 00:51:46,648 --> 00:51:50,068 The trichlornitromethane and the pseudo-halogenic compound cyanogen. 676 00:51:50,194 --> 00:51:55,157 There's one illegal lab in the city with the capacity, personnel and equipment... 677 00:51:55,240 --> 00:51:57,409 to mix those two chemicals into a deadly gas. 678 00:51:57,493 --> 00:52:01,413 Narcotics has been waiting for months to bust this place. We can do it tonight. 679 00:52:01,455 --> 00:52:04,208 Forget it. It's out of our jurisdiction now. 680 00:52:04,333 --> 00:52:07,961 But this won't be a Pagan investigation. We can bring Narc in on it. 681 00:52:08,003 --> 00:52:12,508 Police work is a matter of us against them, not "Mother, may I?" 682 00:52:12,591 --> 00:52:16,637 Hi, Kay. How are you? I could find out where they set up the lab this week. 683 00:52:16,678 --> 00:52:20,057 - Oh? How? - By you lending me 20 bucks. 684 00:52:28,148 --> 00:52:32,361 [Friday] 6:30 p.m. After witnessing the gratuitous sex display... 685 00:52:32,444 --> 00:52:35,614 at Streebek's favourite coffeehouse and an outlay of $50 by me... 686 00:52:35,697 --> 00:52:40,035 to one of his old informants, I proceeded by Celebrity Cab... 687 00:52:40,118 --> 00:52:42,913 to 3396834108th Street... 688 00:52:42,996 --> 00:52:46,875 an illegal drug lab disguised as a legitimate place of business. 689 00:52:48,001 --> 00:52:49,962 Streebek had gone to seek assistance from friends... 690 00:52:50,003 --> 00:52:52,840 in the undercover narcotics unit where he used to work. 691 00:52:52,965 --> 00:52:54,883 It didn't surprise me that he was late... 692 00:52:54,967 --> 00:52:56,927 even though he knew I was waiting in a part of town... 693 00:52:57,010 --> 00:53:00,138 where it's not advisable to stand around whistling. 694 00:53:00,222 --> 00:53:04,017 }} [Whistling] 695 00:53:05,894 --> 00:53:07,938 Hey, zipper-head! 696 00:53:11,483 --> 00:53:13,569 Up late tonight, kids? 697 00:53:13,652 --> 00:53:15,654 Let's have one of your smokes. 698 00:53:15,696 --> 00:53:18,198 It's an unhealthy habit I don't encourage in others. 699 00:53:18,282 --> 00:53:20,492 Get smart. Give it up by not taking it up. 700 00:53:20,576 --> 00:53:22,494 Thanks for the public service announcement. 701 00:53:22,578 --> 00:53:25,914 Hand over your money, and I'll go buy my own smokes. 702 00:53:26,039 --> 00:53:29,126 If you're that strapped for cash, I'd suggest a part-time job. 703 00:53:29,251 --> 00:53:31,128 How 'bout a paper route? 704 00:53:31,253 --> 00:53:33,589 It builds character. It did in my case. 705 00:53:33,672 --> 00:53:37,718 Hey, we're not askin' you for your money, Ozzie. 706 00:53:37,759 --> 00:53:40,137 - No? - No. 707 00:53:40,262 --> 00:53:45,100 - Are you threatening me, son? - [Hoodlums] Ooh! 708 00:54:17,174 --> 00:54:19,551 And on a school night, too. 709 00:54:39,321 --> 00:54:40,864 Hit the deck! 710 00:55:15,816 --> 00:55:17,985 I can't quite place it. 711 00:55:19,444 --> 00:55:20,821 It tastes like... 712 00:55:20,904 --> 00:55:22,531 Milk. 713 00:55:22,614 --> 00:55:25,993 Just like the sign said on the building before you obliterated it. 714 00:55:26,076 --> 00:55:28,787 Fresh, wholesome milk. 715 00:55:28,912 --> 00:55:31,456 You probably love this stuff, don't you? 716 00:55:31,498 --> 00:55:34,251 Vitamin D, calcium... 717 00:55:34,376 --> 00:55:37,504 essential for good strong bones and healthy teeth. 718 00:55:37,546 --> 00:55:41,383 But that's probably all Greek to you, isn't it, Mr Gingivitis? 719 00:55:44,636 --> 00:55:46,638 7:15 p.m. 720 00:55:46,722 --> 00:55:50,893 After explaining to the milk factory they could not take legal action... 721 00:55:50,934 --> 00:55:52,978 since we had properly obtained a search warrant... 722 00:55:53,020 --> 00:55:54,980 our apology was reluctantly accepted... 723 00:55:55,063 --> 00:55:58,525 and Streebek and I were on our way back to Parker Center. 724 00:55:58,609 --> 00:56:01,403 After losing two previous vehicles we had been issued... 725 00:56:01,445 --> 00:56:04,031 the only car the department would release to us at this point... 726 00:56:04,156 --> 00:56:07,075 was an unmarked 1987 Yugo... 727 00:56:07,159 --> 00:56:11,413 a Yugoslavian import donated as a test vehicle by that country... 728 00:56:11,455 --> 00:56:15,209 and reflecting the cutting edge of Serbo-Croatian technology. 729 00:56:51,495 --> 00:56:54,665 I've been thinking. Maybe your informant was right. 730 00:56:54,706 --> 00:56:56,708 Maybe the Pagans anticipated our raid... 731 00:56:56,750 --> 00:56:59,378 and mixed those chemicals into a deadly gas before we got there. 732 00:56:59,461 --> 00:57:02,130 Nuh-huh. 733 00:57:02,214 --> 00:57:04,675 - Friday? - That's me. 734 00:57:04,758 --> 00:57:06,677 What do you like to do for fun? 735 00:57:08,053 --> 00:57:10,931 I'm your partner, and I don't even know where you live. 736 00:57:11,014 --> 00:57:12,975 That's right, mister, you don't. 737 00:57:15,978 --> 00:57:19,231 Streebek, why are you always looking at your watch? 738 00:57:19,273 --> 00:57:21,191 I'm watching my TV. 739 00:57:21,316 --> 00:57:25,821 You don't like my music, you don't want to talk, so I'm watching my TV. 740 00:57:25,946 --> 00:57:27,948 We're at the Law and Order Foundation dinner... 741 00:57:27,990 --> 00:57:32,077 where Los Angeles mayor, Peter Parvin, is fighting for his political survival. 742 00:57:32,161 --> 00:57:36,039 Leading that attack again is Police Commissioner Jane Kirkpatrick. 743 00:57:36,165 --> 00:57:38,542 Let's hear what she has to say. 744 00:57:38,667 --> 00:57:43,297 This rampaging gang of Pagans has made a mockery of city administration. 745 00:57:43,422 --> 00:57:46,508 Vehicles from the fire and police departments are stolen in daylight. 746 00:57:46,592 --> 00:57:51,930 Deadly toxic chemicals are on the loose. What next, Mr Mayor? 747 00:57:52,014 --> 00:57:54,016 In my opinion... 748 00:57:54,099 --> 00:57:57,394 Mayor Parvin should consider the welfare of his constituents... 749 00:57:57,478 --> 00:57:59,730 and do the honourable thing: 750 00:57:59,813 --> 00:58:01,773 Resign now. 751 00:58:04,693 --> 00:58:07,988 You know, I think you and the commissioner would make a cute couple. 752 00:58:08,071 --> 00:58:09,990 You both keep your jaws locked. 753 00:58:10,115 --> 00:58:13,368 Plus you two share that curious affection for hats. 754 00:58:13,494 --> 00:58:15,954 May I remind you that Commissioner Kirkpatrick... 755 00:58:16,038 --> 00:58:18,790 threatened to turn me into a civilian? 756 00:58:18,874 --> 00:58:21,793 Yeah, I know. There was a gleam in her eye, though. 757 00:58:21,877 --> 00:58:23,587 Put a clamp on it! 758 00:58:23,712 --> 00:58:26,798 I have never been elected to public office. 759 00:58:26,882 --> 00:58:31,428 I have always sought the approval of a somewhat higher power... 760 00:58:31,553 --> 00:58:33,055 for my actions. 761 00:58:33,138 --> 00:58:36,099 The sad truth... 762 00:58:36,225 --> 00:58:38,977 is that we live here now in a city... 763 00:58:39,061 --> 00:58:43,148 where even a gross pornographer like Jerry Caesar... 764 00:58:43,232 --> 00:58:46,401 is not immune from lawlessness! 765 00:58:46,568 --> 00:58:50,447 With this grim fact in mind... 766 00:58:50,572 --> 00:58:54,117 I am relieved to announce tonight... 767 00:58:54,201 --> 00:58:57,663 that even Mr Caesar himself has bravely decided... 768 00:58:57,746 --> 00:59:00,791 to strike a blow in our common fight against crime! 769 00:59:00,874 --> 00:59:02,876 Yes, sir! Yes, indeed! 770 00:59:04,419 --> 00:59:07,881 This guy knows God personally. I hear they play racquetball together. 771 00:59:07,923 --> 00:59:11,301 Just chuckle away. I don't hear God laughing. 772 00:59:11,426 --> 00:59:13,846 You will once He sees your haircut. 773 00:59:14,847 --> 00:59:19,601 My friends, in an unprecedented gesture of atonement... 774 00:59:19,643 --> 00:59:23,438 Mr Caesar has agreed to donate the sum... 775 00:59:23,564 --> 00:59:28,318 of $1 million to my Moral Advance Movement. 776 00:59:32,406 --> 00:59:34,366 [Friday] 7:52 p.m. 777 00:59:34,449 --> 00:59:37,494 After witnessing the raging political turmoil on Streebek's puny TV... 778 00:59:37,578 --> 00:59:40,914 I was really looking forward to the end of a rotten day. 779 00:59:40,956 --> 00:59:45,335 - Well, want to get something to eat? - Not tonight. I have plans. 780 00:59:45,460 --> 00:59:49,006 You do? What? What? 781 00:59:49,047 --> 00:59:52,384 Where do you go? What is her name? Does she have a sister? 782 00:59:52,426 --> 00:59:54,595 Good night, Streebek. 783 00:59:57,389 --> 01:00:00,601 Truth is, I don't care where you go. 784 01:00:04,646 --> 01:00:06,773 Yeah, I do. I gotta know. 785 01:00:34,384 --> 01:00:36,220 I knew it. 786 01:00:36,345 --> 01:00:38,847 It's Nightmare on Elm Street. 787 01:00:38,889 --> 01:00:42,559 - That would make him Freddie Krueger. - [Coyote Howling] 788 01:00:43,936 --> 01:00:46,438 We're gonna be driving along some night and the lighting's gonna be bad. 789 01:00:46,563 --> 01:00:50,692 He's gonna mistake me for some pretty coed, and out comes that claw. 790 01:00:50,776 --> 01:00:55,072 [Snarling, Screaming] 791 01:00:56,156 --> 01:00:58,200 170 pounds of ground chuck. 792 01:01:00,911 --> 01:01:05,916 Who knows what kind of thrill-seeking hose monster he's got stashed in there? 793 01:01:12,673 --> 01:01:16,260 My God, he's dating Mother Goose! Hey, Joe! 794 01:01:16,385 --> 01:01:19,638 Streebek, what are you doing here? 795 01:01:19,721 --> 01:01:23,100 - Who is this nice-Iooking young man? - He's nobody. 796 01:01:23,183 --> 01:01:24,977 My partner. 797 01:01:25,018 --> 01:01:28,188 Streebek, introduce yourself to my grandmother, quickly. 798 01:01:28,230 --> 01:01:31,817 Well, what a pleasant surprise. 799 01:01:31,859 --> 01:01:33,777 Granny Friday. 800 01:01:33,902 --> 01:01:37,406 She's my maternal grandmother. Her name is Mundy. 801 01:01:38,699 --> 01:01:41,994 Why don't we discuss this over dinner? It's my birthday. 802 01:01:42,035 --> 01:01:46,290 We're going to the Brown Derby. Do join us, Detective Swayback. 803 01:01:46,415 --> 01:01:48,333 - Streebek. - Pep. 804 01:01:48,417 --> 01:01:50,419 I don't think it's a good idea. 805 01:01:51,170 --> 01:01:53,964 - Why not, Joe? - Yeah, Joe, why not? 806 01:01:54,089 --> 01:01:59,386 I've invited someone already to join us, and you don't know her. 807 01:01:59,511 --> 01:02:00,846 - Her? - Her? 808 01:02:00,971 --> 01:02:04,099 Joe! You have a date? 809 01:02:09,229 --> 01:02:11,815 I'm so proud! 810 01:02:15,235 --> 01:02:18,697 Well, it looks like I have a date, too. 811 01:02:18,780 --> 01:02:21,909 Granny Mundy, may I escort you to Joe's car? 812 01:02:21,992 --> 01:02:25,454 I'd be privileged, Detective Startrek. 813 01:02:29,583 --> 01:02:33,712 9:00 p.m. Exactly one night after witnessing the satanic cult rally... 814 01:02:33,754 --> 01:02:38,300 I escorted my grandmother to her favourite restaurant, the Brown Derby. 815 01:02:38,383 --> 01:02:43,180 There was someone I wanted her to meet, and it wasn't Detective Streebek. 816 01:02:43,305 --> 01:02:45,682 Sergeant Friday, your table is ready. 817 01:02:45,808 --> 01:02:48,685 I took the liberty of pouring the Dom Perignon. 818 01:02:48,727 --> 01:02:50,187 What Dom Perignon? 819 01:02:50,229 --> 01:02:54,483 I stopped and phoned in an order in honour of Granny Mundy's birthday. 820 01:02:54,608 --> 01:02:57,611 You'd want her to have the most expensive kind, wouldn't you? 821 01:02:57,736 --> 01:03:01,740 What a thoughtful gesture! Don't you think so, Joe? 822 01:03:01,782 --> 01:03:05,202 Yes, Granny. It was very considerate of him. 823 01:03:14,378 --> 01:03:17,756 Hello, Joe. Guess I'm early. 824 01:03:17,798 --> 01:03:19,758 I was kind of excited. 825 01:03:19,842 --> 01:03:21,927 You sly minx! 826 01:03:23,595 --> 01:03:26,473 I'd like you to meet my maternal grandmother, Mrs. Grace Mundy. 827 01:03:26,557 --> 01:03:28,559 Granny, this is the virgin Connie Swail. 828 01:03:30,519 --> 01:03:31,937 You're kidding? 829 01:03:31,979 --> 01:03:33,897 Hi. 830 01:03:34,022 --> 01:03:37,734 Well, allow me. The place of honour for Granny. 831 01:03:37,818 --> 01:03:40,112 - Thank you. - Certainly. 832 01:03:42,656 --> 01:03:45,325 And if I may, a toast. 833 01:03:45,450 --> 01:03:46,910 To Granny Mundy. 834 01:03:46,994 --> 01:03:50,205 May you live as long as you want but never want as long as you live. 835 01:03:52,166 --> 01:03:53,667 Hear! Hear! 836 01:03:57,045 --> 01:03:59,631 Ahhh. 837 01:03:59,715 --> 01:04:01,967 This is such a happy restaurant. 838 01:04:02,050 --> 01:04:05,053 Commissioner Kirkpatrick, how nice to see you again. 839 01:04:05,137 --> 01:04:07,598 Reverend Whirley, it's a privilege. 840 01:04:09,808 --> 01:04:11,727 An aperitif, perhaps? 841 01:04:11,810 --> 01:04:15,147 I once saw Alan Hale, Jr. In here. 842 01:04:15,230 --> 01:04:18,775 Alan Hale, Jr! Wow! "Gilligan, little buddy!" 843 01:04:18,859 --> 01:04:23,614 Don't order anything more expensive than the Cobb salad. That is an order. 844 01:04:23,697 --> 01:04:26,492 Oh, my God! 845 01:04:26,575 --> 01:04:28,994 - Connie? - That's him. 846 01:04:29,077 --> 01:04:31,205 That man with the collar. 847 01:04:31,330 --> 01:04:33,248 The Reverend Whirley? 848 01:04:33,290 --> 01:04:36,793 He's the one who kidnapped me and threw me in that pit... 849 01:04:36,960 --> 01:04:39,087 with that horrible snake. 850 01:04:40,172 --> 01:04:43,133 I'll never forget his face as long as I live. 851 01:04:43,258 --> 01:04:45,928 You have to be sure about this. 852 01:04:45,969 --> 01:04:48,847 How about very, very sure? 853 01:04:48,931 --> 01:04:51,308 I'm positive, Joe. 854 01:04:51,391 --> 01:04:53,268 That's him. 855 01:04:53,310 --> 01:04:55,312 The face behind the mask. 856 01:04:56,897 --> 01:04:59,525 The man who tried to kill me. 857 01:05:02,903 --> 01:05:05,948 Would you testify to that under oath in a court of law? 858 01:05:06,031 --> 01:05:08,742 Wait a minute. Settle down. 859 01:05:08,867 --> 01:05:12,120 Let's think about this. That is Jonathan Whirley. 860 01:05:12,246 --> 01:05:15,541 Head of the Moral Advance Movement of America. He's a public hero. 861 01:05:15,582 --> 01:05:19,503 - You can't just walk up to him... - Streebek. 862 01:05:19,545 --> 01:05:21,672 Vermin aren't allowed inside restaurants. 863 01:05:21,797 --> 01:05:23,924 I'll be enforcing the public health code. 864 01:05:25,759 --> 01:05:27,928 If you'll both excuse me... 865 01:05:28,053 --> 01:05:31,557 I'm afraid the second-highest duty calls. 866 01:05:36,812 --> 01:05:40,357 Joe, he is sitting with the commissioner and our captain. 867 01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:43,861 Bust him now, tomorrow you'll be mucking out stalls at Horse Patrol. 868 01:05:51,243 --> 01:05:52,661 Thank you. 869 01:05:54,663 --> 01:05:56,165 I am sorry. 870 01:05:56,206 --> 01:05:59,168 Hold it there, Whirley. Police Officer. You're under arrest. 871 01:05:59,251 --> 01:06:01,670 I beg your pardon? Is this some sort of feeble joke? 872 01:06:01,712 --> 01:06:07,467 Oh, it's a knee-slapper, if you consider Penal Codes 484207 A597 and 217... 873 01:06:07,509 --> 01:06:10,345 theft, kidnapping, cruelty to animals, attempted murder things to laugh about. 874 01:06:10,429 --> 01:06:12,890 I don't know what you're talking about. 875 01:06:12,973 --> 01:06:15,726 My partner and I witnessed that torchlight picnic you threw. 876 01:06:15,851 --> 01:06:19,480 We're gonna put you where your kind always ends up: In a 7-by-7 cage... 877 01:06:19,605 --> 01:06:23,942 in some hundred-year-old penitentiary with a wooden plank for a bed. 878 01:06:23,984 --> 01:06:27,488 Sure, this city isn't perfect. We need a smut-free life for all our citizens. 879 01:06:27,571 --> 01:06:29,823 Cleaner streets, better schools, a good hockey team. 880 01:06:29,907 --> 01:06:33,952 But the difference between you and me is you made the promise, I'm gonna keep it. 881 01:06:47,925 --> 01:06:51,803 Our good reverend's an amazing piece of work, isn't he, Jane? 882 01:06:51,929 --> 01:06:55,015 - May I call you Jane? - No. 883 01:07:02,940 --> 01:07:05,192 Captain, Commissioner... 884 01:07:05,275 --> 01:07:08,278 I demand an immediate explanation for this outrageous behaviour. 885 01:07:08,403 --> 01:07:10,531 It's him again. 886 01:07:10,656 --> 01:07:13,033 Are you insane? 887 01:07:13,075 --> 01:07:16,870 Reverend Whirley abducted that girl, had his men throw her in a pit... 888 01:07:16,954 --> 01:07:19,832 filled with polluted water and a giant Bolivian jungle snake. 889 01:07:19,873 --> 01:07:22,584 These accusations are preposterous! 890 01:07:22,709 --> 01:07:26,463 I beg to differ. Ask him if he remembers 3,000 gallons of stolen... 891 01:07:26,547 --> 01:07:29,550 trichlornitromethane and the pseudo-halogenic compound cyanogen... 892 01:07:29,633 --> 01:07:31,760 which, when mixed properly, form a liquid fertilizer that burns... 893 01:07:31,885 --> 01:07:35,347 the throat, eyes, lungs, and nose, and could cause vomiting and death. 894 01:07:35,472 --> 01:07:38,225 We're just about to eat here! 895 01:07:38,267 --> 01:07:42,146 Reverend Whirley, please accept our most sincere apologies. 896 01:07:42,229 --> 01:07:45,357 Sergeant, you will remove those handcuffs immediately. 897 01:07:45,482 --> 01:07:48,318 Then you will hand in your badge. You are relieved from duty. 898 01:07:48,443 --> 01:07:49,987 But... But... But, Commissioner... 899 01:07:50,070 --> 01:07:51,572 Now! 900 01:07:53,532 --> 01:07:55,701 Yes, sir. Ma'am. 901 01:07:55,742 --> 01:07:59,037 I don't care. I'm absolutely humiliated. 902 01:07:59,121 --> 01:08:03,167 I know the young man was overzealous, but he springs from a great tradition. 903 01:08:03,250 --> 01:08:06,545 Commissioner, won't you please change your mind? 904 01:08:18,515 --> 01:08:22,060 I'm afraid I'll have to take your badge and gun. 905 01:08:22,186 --> 01:08:26,190 - If we could just please... - I don't want to discuss it! 906 01:08:26,273 --> 01:08:28,901 Just hand them over. 907 01:08:58,972 --> 01:09:04,061 Look, Joe, don't worry. I'm still on active duty. I'm building a case. 908 01:09:04,144 --> 01:09:06,438 You're building nothin'. 909 01:09:06,563 --> 01:09:10,651 If I ever hear you've come within one mile of Reverend Whirley... 910 01:09:10,776 --> 01:09:12,736 I'll have your badge for breakfast! 911 01:09:12,903 --> 01:09:15,989 - Understood? - Yes, sir. 912 01:09:24,081 --> 01:09:28,126 It was very nice of you to try and take us out to dinner, Joe. 913 01:09:28,252 --> 01:09:32,047 Yeah. Thanks, Joe, for everything. 914 01:09:33,757 --> 01:09:38,637 Let's not stand around here moping. I'm hungry! Let's go for chili dogs. 915 01:09:38,762 --> 01:09:44,059 Granny, have you ever eaten a chili dog off the back of a motorcycle? 916 01:09:44,184 --> 01:09:46,103 Not till now. 917 01:09:46,145 --> 01:09:49,606 You smooth-talking son of a gun. 918 01:09:59,700 --> 01:10:02,619 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 919 01:10:07,708 --> 01:10:10,502 I'm very sorry you lost your job, Joe. 920 01:10:10,586 --> 01:10:12,838 I really did have a very good time. 921 01:10:12,921 --> 01:10:15,132 I'm glad, Connie. 922 01:10:15,257 --> 01:10:18,302 Now, fasten your seat belt. I can still effect a citizen's arrest. 923 01:10:18,385 --> 01:10:21,722 I don't want to ruin a wonderful evening by bringing you in on a misdemeanour. 924 01:10:23,098 --> 01:10:24,892 That was a joke. 925 01:10:26,059 --> 01:10:28,353 Oh. 926 01:10:43,035 --> 01:10:45,245 Oh, Joe! 927 01:10:45,329 --> 01:10:47,331 Look at the stars! 928 01:10:47,414 --> 01:10:49,583 Dozens of them. 929 01:10:51,960 --> 01:10:56,173 You know, when I was a little girl... 930 01:10:56,215 --> 01:10:59,218 I used to wish upon a different star every night... 931 01:10:59,301 --> 01:11:02,763 for that special someone to come along. 932 01:11:02,805 --> 01:11:05,390 Someone with whom I could share... 933 01:11:07,476 --> 01:11:09,603 everything. 934 01:11:14,107 --> 01:11:16,568 I guess that's not so unusual. 935 01:11:17,444 --> 01:11:21,114 All girls do that, don't they, Joe? 936 01:11:21,156 --> 01:11:23,742 Some guys do, too, Connie. 937 01:11:27,579 --> 01:11:29,957 - Joe? - That's me. 938 01:11:31,542 --> 01:11:33,460 Was there ever... 939 01:11:36,213 --> 01:11:37,631 anyone else? 940 01:11:37,673 --> 01:11:39,508 Of course there was. 941 01:11:40,759 --> 01:11:42,636 Oh. 942 01:11:42,678 --> 01:11:46,557 Actually, I've only been driving with Streebek a couple of days. 943 01:11:46,598 --> 01:11:49,893 - Before that I was with Frank. - That's not what I meant. 944 01:12:11,165 --> 01:12:15,460 - [Banging] - [Screaming] 945 01:12:15,586 --> 01:12:18,422 Goodness! Earthquake! It's the big one! 946 01:12:18,505 --> 01:12:20,841 Joe, help! 947 01:12:20,924 --> 01:12:22,509 Request Code 3. Officer in distress. 948 01:12:22,634 --> 01:12:25,387 Assist officer. I'll handle this. Calm down. 949 01:12:27,473 --> 01:12:31,268 - [Gasping] - [Shotgun Pump Clicking] 950 01:12:31,518 --> 01:12:34,313 January 9, 8:37 a.m. 951 01:12:34,396 --> 01:12:37,107 My name's Streebek. I'm a cop. 952 01:12:37,191 --> 01:12:38,567 I overslept. 953 01:12:40,819 --> 01:12:45,491 Curiously enough, I still hadn't heard from my anal-retentive ex-partner... 954 01:12:45,616 --> 01:12:48,827 although I was sure he'd be proud to know I was making a concerted effort... 955 01:12:48,952 --> 01:12:51,330 to personally develop a close relationship... 956 01:12:51,413 --> 01:12:54,750 with one of my sisters in the Los Angeles Police Department. 957 01:13:17,314 --> 01:13:20,025 I placed a call to the virgin Connie Swail... 958 01:13:20,108 --> 01:13:23,320 but according to the girl's mother, she hadn't come home either. 959 01:13:23,362 --> 01:13:26,240 I don't know what to say, Mrs. Swail. 960 01:13:26,281 --> 01:13:28,867 I'm beginning to be concerned myself. 961 01:13:28,992 --> 01:13:32,955 No, Joe Friday has never stayed out all night, either. 962 01:13:32,996 --> 01:13:36,667 The day he was born, his mother had him home by 9:00. 963 01:13:36,708 --> 01:13:40,838 Well, let's both stay in touch in case we hear from them. 964 01:13:40,879 --> 01:13:42,965 Thank you, Mrs. Swail. 965 01:13:46,134 --> 01:13:49,012 Oh, my goodness. I'm gonna be late for my stake-out. 966 01:13:50,222 --> 01:13:52,182 As enchanting as Robin was... 967 01:13:52,307 --> 01:13:56,311 I still couldn't get my mind off what happened to Joe Friday. 968 01:13:56,353 --> 01:13:58,730 For one misguided moment... 969 01:13:58,772 --> 01:14:02,109 I actually pictured my ex-partner introducing that little cupcake... 970 01:14:02,151 --> 01:14:06,155 to the one piece of equipment that wasn't issued to him by the department. 971 01:14:06,280 --> 01:14:10,909 But then I realized Joe would never spring for the price of a motel room. 972 01:14:11,034 --> 01:14:14,538 And since having sex in a Yugo was a logistical impossibility... 973 01:14:14,663 --> 01:14:17,875 I came to the conclusion that something must be wrong. 974 01:14:17,958 --> 01:14:19,626 Who cares? 975 01:14:19,710 --> 01:14:21,545 Listen to me, Captain. 976 01:14:21,628 --> 01:14:24,715 Joe Friday was the most dedicated cop in this city. 977 01:14:24,840 --> 01:14:27,801 Okay, so maybe all his dogs aren't attached to one leash. 978 01:14:27,843 --> 01:14:30,471 He's thickheaded, insensitive and reactionary. 979 01:14:30,554 --> 01:14:34,099 And generally less fun to be around than any person I've ever met. 980 01:14:34,224 --> 01:14:37,019 Still, he was my partner. 981 01:14:37,144 --> 01:14:39,646 You want to find Joe Friday? 982 01:14:39,688 --> 01:14:43,775 My advice is to start checking out the sanitariums. 983 01:14:45,402 --> 01:14:47,362 - Hey, Pep. - What's shaking? 984 01:14:47,446 --> 01:14:49,823 - Hey, you! - Me, Pep? 985 01:14:50,908 --> 01:14:53,285 Detective Streebek to you. Let's get this mop trimmed. 986 01:14:53,410 --> 01:14:55,496 Stop shaving with a pocketknife, and next time you eat your lunch... 987 01:14:55,579 --> 01:14:57,456 put it in your stomach, not on your uniform. 988 01:14:57,581 --> 01:15:00,375 You're a disgrace to this department and that badge. 989 01:15:16,391 --> 01:15:18,435 You're late, Jerry. 990 01:15:20,103 --> 01:15:24,858 I saw your announcement about my so-called million-dollar contribution. 991 01:15:24,942 --> 01:15:27,027 Do yourself a favour, friend. 992 01:15:28,320 --> 01:15:29,863 Try the lottery. 993 01:15:29,947 --> 01:15:31,865 The lottery I can fix. 994 01:15:31,990 --> 01:15:34,284 Our problem is Mayor Parvin. 995 01:15:34,368 --> 01:15:38,664 I'm afraid he is not "going gentle into that good night." 996 01:15:38,705 --> 01:15:40,123 Say what? 997 01:15:40,207 --> 01:15:44,211 That he is not responding to our pressure to resign. 998 01:15:44,336 --> 01:15:47,005 We're gonna have to push him over the edge. 999 01:15:47,047 --> 01:15:51,343 Your million-dollar contribution will insure his presence at your party. 1000 01:15:51,426 --> 01:15:56,014 Just make sure he turns into a drug-crazed idiot, with pictures. 1001 01:15:56,140 --> 01:15:58,892 Once he's politically dead, Commissioner Kirkpatrick... 1002 01:15:58,976 --> 01:16:01,353 will be a shoo-in to replace him in the next election. 1003 01:16:01,436 --> 01:16:04,898 You and I will split control of the city. 1004 01:16:04,982 --> 01:16:07,109 You will monopolize all pornography. 1005 01:16:07,234 --> 01:16:10,904 Half the poor dumb sheep in Los Angeles will be forking over money... 1006 01:16:10,988 --> 01:16:12,990 to buy your sleaze... 1007 01:16:13,115 --> 01:16:15,868 while the other half will be funding me with the means to fight it. 1008 01:16:17,452 --> 01:16:18,787 Reverend... 1009 01:16:19,997 --> 01:16:22,541 you got balls as big as church bells. 1010 01:16:24,168 --> 01:16:25,669 Thank you. 1011 01:16:42,519 --> 01:16:46,273 Jonathan, I do not trust that man. 1012 01:16:46,315 --> 01:16:49,234 Thank goodness he trusts me. 1013 01:16:49,359 --> 01:16:51,653 That socially-retarded hedonist... 1014 01:16:51,737 --> 01:16:55,199 actually believes he's going to be alive tomorrow. 1015 01:17:32,402 --> 01:17:34,029 Where's Joe Friday? 1016 01:17:47,709 --> 01:17:49,086 It's no use. 1017 01:17:49,211 --> 01:17:51,088 These knots are too tight. 1018 01:17:51,171 --> 01:17:53,799 Untie the girl. She's coming with me. 1019 01:17:56,385 --> 01:18:00,681 You hypocrite. If you were decent, you'd let her go and kill me instead. 1020 01:18:00,764 --> 01:18:02,182 Instead? 1021 01:18:03,517 --> 01:18:08,647 But, my dear Sergeant Friday, I'd always planned on killing you. 1022 01:18:08,689 --> 01:18:11,400 How do you see yourself going down in history? 1023 01:18:11,525 --> 01:18:13,819 Pagan or reverend, devil or angel? 1024 01:18:13,902 --> 01:18:17,239 Why, both, of course. 1025 01:18:17,281 --> 01:18:19,658 One can't exist without the other. 1026 01:18:19,700 --> 01:18:22,578 Without the Jerry Caesars, there'd be no moral outrage. 1027 01:18:22,744 --> 01:18:24,872 What's the good of moral outrage... 1028 01:18:24,913 --> 01:18:28,167 unless you have something tangible to direct it against? 1029 01:18:28,250 --> 01:18:30,919 By this time tomorrow, thanks to that poison gas... 1030 01:18:30,961 --> 01:18:33,714 you've been tracking like some flu-ridden bloodhound... 1031 01:18:33,839 --> 01:18:37,759 Mr Caesar will be sitting in that big Jacuzzi in the sky... 1032 01:18:37,801 --> 01:18:40,179 and I'll control both sides of the equation. 1033 01:18:40,304 --> 01:18:43,724 Sure, but like every other psycho in this city with a foolproof plan... 1034 01:18:43,765 --> 01:18:46,727 you've forgotten you're facing the finest fighting force ever assembled. 1035 01:18:48,187 --> 01:18:49,563 The Israelis? 1036 01:18:49,605 --> 01:18:52,399 Try the decent, hardworking men and women of Los Angeles. 1037 01:18:54,485 --> 01:18:56,778 Forgotten about them? 1038 01:18:56,862 --> 01:18:59,072 My dear Sergeant... 1039 01:18:59,156 --> 01:19:02,618 I'm absolutely counting on them. 1040 01:19:05,037 --> 01:19:06,997 - Joe. - [Whirley Laughs] 1041 01:19:07,080 --> 01:19:09,249 Joe? 1042 01:19:44,159 --> 01:19:48,539 [Friday] You may have taken a wrong turn, but there's time to straighten out. 1043 01:19:48,580 --> 01:19:50,916 You're the one that's gonna straighten out, cop... 1044 01:19:50,999 --> 01:19:52,918 all the way down the mountain. 1045 01:19:57,339 --> 01:19:58,757 Let's go, Streebek. 1046 01:20:28,453 --> 01:20:31,081 Just relax and hold on tight. 1047 01:20:31,123 --> 01:20:34,459 Tighter! Pretend I'm Connie. Ooh! 1048 01:20:36,295 --> 01:20:38,130 Look out! Look out! 1049 01:20:42,843 --> 01:20:45,471 There's no road here. 1050 01:20:47,723 --> 01:20:50,225 No road. Look out! 1051 01:21:02,571 --> 01:21:04,823 Look, there's the mayor. 1052 01:21:04,865 --> 01:21:07,784 Pretty clever of Whirley manoeuvring him up here to Caesar's party. 1053 01:21:07,826 --> 01:21:10,120 He's got both people he wants to eliminate in one place. 1054 01:21:10,162 --> 01:21:13,624 Hey, isn't that Whirley's car? 1055 01:21:13,790 --> 01:21:16,168 Good evening, Reverend. 1056 01:21:16,210 --> 01:21:18,128 Child. 1057 01:21:18,212 --> 01:21:20,631 I don't see Connie. 1058 01:21:20,672 --> 01:21:25,052 - The next car comes, follow me in. - Wait. You can't go in there. 1059 01:21:25,093 --> 01:21:28,555 - When did you become Miss Manners? - First, you don't have a warrant. 1060 01:21:28,639 --> 01:21:32,017 Penal Code 836: A police officer may make an arrest without a warrant... 1061 01:21:32,142 --> 01:21:34,019 if he believes there's probable cause... 1062 01:21:34,144 --> 01:21:37,022 You're not a police officer any more. 1063 01:21:39,983 --> 01:21:42,694 I hate to be the one to break that to you, but it's the truth. 1064 01:21:42,820 --> 01:21:45,739 You charge in there now, you'll never get your badge back. 1065 01:21:45,781 --> 01:21:47,825 Whirley's the only one that knows where Connie is. 1066 01:21:47,866 --> 01:21:50,202 He'll tell or I'll shove that collar so far down his throat... 1067 01:21:50,285 --> 01:21:52,204 I'll have to take off his shoes to wring his neck. 1068 01:21:52,329 --> 01:21:56,250 You're not thinking like a cop any more. You're thinking like a man in love. 1069 01:21:56,375 --> 01:21:58,961 Watch your language, mister! 1070 01:21:59,962 --> 01:22:02,214 Oh, Joe, l... 1071 01:22:02,339 --> 01:22:05,384 You've never had these feelings before, have you? 1072 01:22:07,010 --> 01:22:08,887 Almost. 1073 01:22:08,971 --> 01:22:11,223 I had a kitten once. 1074 01:22:11,348 --> 01:22:14,935 This is gonna be a little different. Connie won't be sleeping in a box... 1075 01:22:14,977 --> 01:22:18,856 or meowing all night or climbing up your drapes. 1076 01:22:18,939 --> 01:22:23,610 Or maybe she will. You both are sort of starting from scratch with this thing. 1077 01:22:23,694 --> 01:22:25,237 Get out of my way! 1078 01:22:25,362 --> 01:22:29,867 Last time you went after Whirley, you got suspended. Now you'll get arrested. 1079 01:22:29,950 --> 01:22:35,122 - On what charge, Junior? - How about Section 146-A? 1080 01:22:36,290 --> 01:22:40,043 That's right. Impersonating a police officer. 1081 01:22:41,503 --> 01:22:44,464 It's for your own good, Joe. 1082 01:22:44,548 --> 01:22:47,217 In spite of every logical instinct I've ever had... 1083 01:22:47,301 --> 01:22:50,220 I consider you a real friend. 1084 01:22:53,724 --> 01:22:56,143 - Wait. - Joe, go home. 1085 01:22:56,226 --> 01:22:58,228 There's nothing more you can do here. Believe me. 1086 01:22:58,312 --> 01:23:01,231 By the way, my name is Pep. 1087 01:23:02,566 --> 01:23:06,278 It's not mister, junior, bub or Streebek. It's Pep. 1088 01:23:08,447 --> 01:23:12,075 Friendships start with first names... 1089 01:23:12,201 --> 01:23:13,660 Joe. 1090 01:23:36,725 --> 01:23:39,144 [Jerry Caesar] Thank you so much for comin'. 1091 01:23:39,269 --> 01:23:41,772 Your Honour, pleased you could make it. 1092 01:23:41,897 --> 01:23:43,524 You, too, Reverend. 1093 01:23:43,565 --> 01:23:47,277 Let's just drop the fake civility. Okay, Caesar? 1094 01:23:47,361 --> 01:23:51,198 - You have a cheque for the Reverend. - I do, all in due time. 1095 01:23:52,324 --> 01:23:55,494 If it would make us all feel better... 1096 01:23:55,619 --> 01:23:58,330 why don't I hold on to it until the formal presentation? 1097 01:23:59,998 --> 01:24:01,917 Well, whatever. 1098 01:24:09,258 --> 01:24:12,719 You're just in time. We're about to start our cultural talent show. 1099 01:24:12,803 --> 01:24:14,763 Why don't you pull up a pew next to me? 1100 01:24:14,805 --> 01:24:18,767 Reverend, I'm sure you'll find these gals socially redeemin'. 1101 01:24:27,609 --> 01:24:30,445 } Me me me me } 1102 01:24:30,487 --> 01:24:33,365 } Me me me Me me me } 1103 01:24:33,407 --> 01:24:37,870 } Me me me me me me } 1104 01:24:37,995 --> 01:24:42,374 }} [Intro To "The Star-Spangled Banner"] 1105 01:24:43,292 --> 01:24:47,713 } Oh, say can you see } 1106 01:24:47,796 --> 01:24:51,550 } By the dawn's early light } 1107 01:24:52,759 --> 01:24:55,596 How do you like those sweet pipes, Reverend? 1108 01:24:55,721 --> 01:24:57,139 Surprised? 1109 01:24:57,723 --> 01:24:59,558 Oh, yes. 1110 01:24:59,641 --> 01:25:01,393 Indeed. 1111 01:25:01,477 --> 01:25:05,772 I have a feeling this evening is going to be full of surprises. 1112 01:25:05,898 --> 01:25:08,442 } Through the perilous fight } 1113 01:26:02,371 --> 01:26:05,666 [Man] Thunderhead to Cloud 9. Do you read me? 1114 01:26:05,749 --> 01:26:08,752 Our hoses are in place. Start the gas when ready. 1115 01:26:08,836 --> 01:26:12,297 Cloud 9 to Thunderhead. We're startin' the gas. 1116 01:26:14,967 --> 01:26:17,719 - Hi. Just need to use the phone. - Who the hell... 1117 01:26:17,803 --> 01:26:22,015 The White Pages, my favourite. You ever actually reach out and touch someone? 1118 01:26:30,023 --> 01:26:32,484 See if you can get a line on the man they work with. 1119 01:26:32,609 --> 01:26:35,988 I'll be hitting Route 30. Keep me posted. 1120 01:26:36,864 --> 01:26:38,866 - Hello. - L.A.P.D. Captain Gannon there? 1121 01:26:38,949 --> 01:26:41,869 - Yes, he is. It's work, dear. - Thank you. 1122 01:26:41,910 --> 01:26:44,413 Thank you, Delilah. Hello. 1123 01:26:44,454 --> 01:26:48,542 - Captain Gannon, this is Streebek. I'm up at the Caesar mansion. - Streebek? 1124 01:26:48,625 --> 01:26:53,172 I'm surrounded by Pagans. Call out S.W.A.T. They've got a small army here. 1125 01:27:30,834 --> 01:27:34,671 - Reverend? - I'll be leaving you in charge, Emil. 1126 01:27:34,796 --> 01:27:37,341 I'll be joining a special passenger... 1127 01:27:37,424 --> 01:27:41,094 aboard my jet for a few restful days in Acapulco. 1128 01:27:41,136 --> 01:27:43,680 Don't forget to leave a Pagan card... 1129 01:27:43,764 --> 01:27:46,058 so the police and Mr Caesar's next of kin... 1130 01:27:46,099 --> 01:27:50,062 will give us proper credit for returning his magazines. 1131 01:27:50,103 --> 01:27:52,815 Oh, and, Emil... 1132 01:27:52,940 --> 01:27:54,900 ever forward. 1133 01:28:23,470 --> 01:28:26,223 Police officers! Clear the road. 1134 01:28:34,690 --> 01:28:36,525 "Police officers. 1135 01:28:36,692 --> 01:28:38,610 Clear the road." 1136 01:29:03,260 --> 01:29:05,512 - Move it! - Go! Go! Go! Go! 1137 01:29:11,143 --> 01:29:16,190 What the... Cops! Break out the weapons! Break out the masks! 1138 01:29:57,272 --> 01:29:59,191 We're pinned down. Hold your positions! 1139 01:30:13,789 --> 01:30:16,291 All right, boys, let's do it! 1140 01:31:06,842 --> 01:31:08,802 Thank God, it's Friday! 1141 01:31:10,929 --> 01:31:14,099 Hey, everybody, it's me, Pep. Good to see ya! 1142 01:31:28,155 --> 01:31:30,157 So long, hotshot. 1143 01:31:30,282 --> 01:31:34,912 Muzz, you weren't even born with the sense God gave the common dog. 1144 01:31:35,037 --> 01:31:36,955 Don't you realize that's my partner? 1145 01:31:37,080 --> 01:31:39,082 Ha-ha! 1146 01:31:46,757 --> 01:31:48,008 Thanks, partner. 1147 01:31:48,133 --> 01:31:51,637 Read him his rights, Pep. 1148 01:31:51,762 --> 01:31:53,180 "Pep"? 1149 01:31:54,473 --> 01:31:56,517 You hear that, Emil? He called me Pep. 1150 01:31:56,558 --> 01:31:58,852 You have the right to remain silent. 1151 01:31:58,936 --> 01:32:00,979 If you give up the right to remain silent... 1152 01:32:01,063 --> 01:32:03,273 You know these words. Come on. Sing along. 1153 01:32:03,398 --> 01:32:06,610 } Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law } 1154 01:32:08,195 --> 01:32:13,867 You got a lifetime subscription to Bait, Dollies and Field and Cream. 1155 01:32:13,909 --> 01:32:16,620 You saved my house, my gals, my life. 1156 01:32:16,745 --> 01:32:19,665 I'll give you anything you want. Money, broads, automobiles. 1157 01:32:19,748 --> 01:32:21,750 Anything! Just name it. 1158 01:32:21,792 --> 01:32:23,961 How 'bout takin' your hands off my suit? 1159 01:32:24,086 --> 01:32:25,379 Absolutely. 1160 01:32:25,420 --> 01:32:27,631 Joe, Jerry, Dona! Ava! 1161 01:32:27,714 --> 01:32:30,175 Whirley's headed to Mexico in his private jet. 1162 01:32:30,300 --> 01:32:32,719 He's got Connie. Let's move it. 1163 01:32:32,803 --> 01:32:34,930 - Who's Connie? - I don't know. 1164 01:32:35,013 --> 01:32:36,682 - Wasn't she... - Never mind. You hungry? 1165 01:32:36,765 --> 01:32:38,684 - Yeah. - Let's eat. 1166 01:32:40,102 --> 01:32:42,020 Friday, Streebek, good work. 1167 01:32:42,187 --> 01:32:44,481 I'll expect a full report. 1168 01:32:44,565 --> 01:32:47,359 Sure thing. If you'll excuse us, we have a fugitive to apprehend. 1169 01:32:47,442 --> 01:32:52,531 Wait a minute. I can't let you take a civilian with you on a hot pursuit. 1170 01:32:52,656 --> 01:32:55,742 - But, Captain, please. - Sorry, Joe. 1171 01:33:00,330 --> 01:33:02,833 You're gonna need this. 1172 01:33:02,916 --> 01:33:07,546 }} [Dragnet March Plays] 1173 01:33:09,339 --> 01:33:11,467 I didn't have the heart to turn it in. 1174 01:33:13,510 --> 01:33:16,430 Yes, sir. 1175 01:33:18,265 --> 01:33:22,686 Don't just stand there, you petrified monolith of legal propriety! 1176 01:33:22,769 --> 01:33:25,230 Let's move! I'll drive. 1177 01:33:25,355 --> 01:33:28,150 You seem to be suffering from selective amnesia. 1178 01:33:28,275 --> 01:33:31,195 I outrank you. I'll drive. 1179 01:33:57,221 --> 01:33:59,765 Be careful. This is a dangerous road. 1180 01:33:59,807 --> 01:34:03,310 When are you worried about my driving, Mr l-Like-Life-In-The-Fast-Lane? 1181 01:34:07,564 --> 01:34:11,109 - You just flew through a stop sign! - It felt good. 1182 01:34:13,195 --> 01:34:15,405 Look out for that bump! 1183 01:34:20,035 --> 01:34:23,747 Don't you remember those films they showed us in high school? 1184 01:34:23,831 --> 01:34:28,126 - Red Asphalt. Blood on the Highway. - You picked two of my favourites. 1185 01:34:31,922 --> 01:34:35,467 [Streebek Hollering] 1186 01:34:46,103 --> 01:34:47,604 Jonathan. 1187 01:34:48,856 --> 01:34:53,026 I just heard on the police radio they've stormed the mansion. 1188 01:34:53,068 --> 01:34:57,197 They know everything. It's all over. We're finished. 1189 01:34:57,281 --> 01:35:00,951 Oh. The girl's aboard, of course? 1190 01:35:01,076 --> 01:35:03,829 Yes, but we might as well let her go. There's no point in keeping her. 1191 01:35:03,871 --> 01:35:06,165 You're absolutely right. 1192 01:35:06,290 --> 01:35:08,834 Watch for the police. I'll untie her. 1193 01:35:08,959 --> 01:35:10,544 Be calm. 1194 01:35:10,669 --> 01:35:12,838 Calm. Police. 1195 01:35:21,805 --> 01:35:23,015 Jonathan? 1196 01:35:26,143 --> 01:35:28,770 All buckled up? Good. 1197 01:35:28,812 --> 01:35:30,230 You freak! 1198 01:35:31,315 --> 01:35:35,277 - Ah! Freak. - Don't worry, my dear. 1199 01:35:35,360 --> 01:35:37,571 You'll get used to me in time. 1200 01:35:38,447 --> 01:35:40,365 Jonathan, I think maybe... 1201 01:35:41,825 --> 01:35:43,285 Oh, my God! 1202 01:35:45,621 --> 01:35:47,581 Jonathan! 1203 01:35:51,376 --> 01:35:54,338 Oh, my God! Jonathan! 1204 01:35:59,134 --> 01:36:01,220 Jonathan! 1205 01:36:08,936 --> 01:36:11,230 Come on, Joe. Slow down! 1206 01:36:11,355 --> 01:36:14,483 What happened to those regulations on high-speed pursuits? 1207 01:36:14,566 --> 01:36:17,778 - I thought you were safety-conscious. - Close your eyes and think of Christmas. 1208 01:36:20,656 --> 01:36:22,407 Think of Christmas? 1209 01:36:28,831 --> 01:36:32,084 } Good King Wenceslaus looked out on the feast of Stephen } 1210 01:36:32,209 --> 01:36:35,754 - } And the snow lay round about } - } Deep and crisp and even } 1211 01:36:35,838 --> 01:36:39,800 } Brightly shone the moon that night though the frost was cruel } 1212 01:36:39,883 --> 01:36:41,426 } When the poor man came in sight... } 1213 01:36:41,552 --> 01:36:43,262 Try "Silent Night." 1214 01:36:55,983 --> 01:36:58,944 - He's gone. Let's go home. - No, the runway. 1215 01:36:59,069 --> 01:37:01,864 [Streebek Laughs Nervously] 1216 01:37:23,927 --> 01:37:25,471 We lost them. 1217 01:37:25,596 --> 01:37:27,848 I have eyes. 1218 01:37:39,902 --> 01:37:41,862 Streebek was right. 1219 01:37:43,322 --> 01:37:45,240 We had lost them. 1220 01:38:08,430 --> 01:38:10,557 [Siren Wailing] 1221 01:38:51,974 --> 01:38:54,977 [Sirens Wailing] 1222 01:40:01,376 --> 01:40:03,212 Hi, Connie. 1223 01:40:03,295 --> 01:40:06,173 Oh, Joe! I'm so proud. 1224 01:40:11,011 --> 01:40:16,308 What a collar, Joe! I'm so happy for us. Connie. 1225 01:40:16,433 --> 01:40:20,604 Streebek, isn't there anything job-related you should be doing now? 1226 01:40:20,729 --> 01:40:22,147 No, nothing. 1227 01:40:25,442 --> 01:40:28,821 I could return our rent-a-wreck... 1228 01:40:28,946 --> 01:40:31,031 and maybe file a report. 1229 01:40:34,117 --> 01:40:35,744 Good... 1230 01:40:35,828 --> 01:40:38,330 because I have a whole lifetime to catch up on. 1231 01:41:00,018 --> 01:41:04,606 [Narrator] On February 21, a trial was held in Superior Court... 1232 01:41:04,690 --> 01:41:07,025 in and for the County of Los Angeles. 1233 01:41:07,067 --> 01:41:09,695 The Reverend Jonathan Whirley was found guilty... 1234 01:41:09,820 --> 01:41:11,905 on two counts of attempted murder... 1235 01:41:12,030 --> 01:41:15,075 kidnapping, arson, obstruction of justice... 1236 01:41:15,200 --> 01:41:17,536 and tampering with public utilities. 1237 01:41:17,578 --> 01:41:20,455 He is presently in the men's correction facility at Chino... 1238 01:41:20,581 --> 01:41:24,376 serving 43 consecutive 99-year sentences... 1239 01:41:24,460 --> 01:41:28,213 which makes him eligible for parole in seven years. 1240 01:41:29,465 --> 01:41:33,177 [Friday] Monday, January 12, 8:43 a.m. 1241 01:41:33,302 --> 01:41:36,847 As for Streebek and me, we're back on day watch at Robbery-Homicide... 1242 01:41:36,930 --> 01:41:40,642 where he still exhibits a blatant disregard for departmental procedure. 1243 01:41:40,684 --> 01:41:44,813 But I am somehow managing to keep this in its proper perspective. 1244 01:41:55,741 --> 01:41:58,619 Goodbye, Pep. Will you be coming over later? 1245 01:41:58,702 --> 01:42:02,414 Yeah, I have to. I'm wearing your underwear. 1246 01:42:13,050 --> 01:42:15,093 Late night last night, partner? 1247 01:42:15,177 --> 01:42:17,888 I thought the Christian Science Reading Room closed at 10:00? 1248 01:42:18,013 --> 01:42:21,225 Not that it's any of your business, Mr National Enquirer... 1249 01:42:21,350 --> 01:42:24,645 but I had the pleasure of spending the evening in the company of Connie Swail. 1250 01:42:24,686 --> 01:42:26,980 Wait a minute. Connie Swail? 1251 01:42:27,022 --> 01:42:29,441 Don't you mean the virgin Connie Swail? 1252 01:42:31,068 --> 01:42:36,990 }} [Dragnet March Plays] 1253 01:42:48,585 --> 01:42:50,921 This is the city. It's a city of crime. 1254 01:42:50,963 --> 01:42:53,215 My name is Friday. I carry a badge. 1255 01:42:53,257 --> 01:42:55,884 3:15 a.m., Thursday, January 15. 1256 01:42:55,926 --> 01:42:58,095 It was chilly that morning in the City of Angels. 1257 01:42:58,220 --> 01:43:01,932 On this occasion, we witnessed a Pagan ritual in progress. 1258 01:43:04,726 --> 01:43:07,187 } See that, Streebek We're just in time } 1259 01:43:07,271 --> 01:43:09,273 } We have stumbled into a major crime } 1260 01:43:09,356 --> 01:43:11,942 } They got the girl all frightened Now that's not nice } 1261 01:43:12,025 --> 01:43:14,570 } I think she is the subject of a sacrifice } 1262 01:43:14,695 --> 01:43:16,989 } Buddy, we're puttin' this party on ice } 1263 01:43:17,072 --> 01:43:19,491 } But first you know we really oughta read 'em their rights } 1264 01:43:19,575 --> 01:43:21,660 } Read 'em their rights Read 'em their rights } 1265 01:43:24,163 --> 01:43:26,707 } Well, I'm here tonight to rap about your rights } 1266 01:43:26,832 --> 01:43:28,709 } 'Cause right now you're in trouble } 1267 01:43:28,792 --> 01:43:31,587 } Don't have to say nothin' at all You all got two calls } 1268 01:43:31,670 --> 01:43:33,672 } And you better make 'em on the double } 1269 01:43:37,843 --> 01:43:41,054 } This is the city of crime } 1270 01:43:42,931 --> 01:43:45,184 } Don't step outta line } 1271 01:43:47,728 --> 01:43:51,398 } This is the city of crime } 1272 01:43:51,482 --> 01:43:55,068 } You better be clean [Lyrics Indistinct] } 1273 01:43:56,445 --> 01:43:58,947 } You're a dangerous mob And it is our job } 1274 01:43:59,031 --> 01:44:01,283 } To bust you all for being violent } 1275 01:44:01,408 --> 01:44:03,744 } While we are here let's state it clear } 1276 01:44:03,785 --> 01:44:06,205 } You have the right to remain silent } 1277 01:44:06,288 --> 01:44:08,749 } Well, excuse me, Copper Mr Crime-Stopper } 1278 01:44:08,791 --> 01:44:11,168 } What is wrong with what we're doin' } 1279 01:44:11,251 --> 01:44:13,754 } We just like to dance in our goatskin pants } 1280 01:44:13,837 --> 01:44:15,798 } Around this ancient ruin } 1281 01:44:15,881 --> 01:44:18,467 } Now it's not so funny that it cost big money } 1282 01:44:18,550 --> 01:44:21,094 } If you ever have to hire a lawyer } 1283 01:44:21,178 --> 01:44:23,680 } It's my duty to inform you and my pleasure to warn you } 1284 01:44:23,722 --> 01:44:26,099 } We'll provide one for ya } Huh! 1285 01:44:29,853 --> 01:44:33,315 } This is the city of crime } 1286 01:44:34,775 --> 01:44:37,277 } Don't step outta line } 1287 01:44:39,738 --> 01:44:44,201 } This is the city of crime } 1288 01:44:44,243 --> 01:44:48,413 } You're lookin' at 7 to 9 } 1289 01:44:48,539 --> 01:44:50,749 } Now you know what you've been doing is a serious crime } 1290 01:44:50,874 --> 01:44:53,502 } And you'll probably be doin' some serious time } 1291 01:44:53,585 --> 01:44:56,004 } In case you might be worried about the friends you'll lose } 1292 01:44:56,046 --> 01:44:58,257 } At least they get to see you on the evening news } 1293 01:44:58,340 --> 01:45:00,717 - } It's a new sensation } - } We go down to the station } 1294 01:45:00,759 --> 01:45:03,846 - } You're gonna answer some questions } - } And have some refreshments } 1295 01:45:03,971 --> 01:45:05,639 What is your full name? 1296 01:45:05,681 --> 01:45:08,142 } Well, excuse me Excuse me } 1297 01:45:08,225 --> 01:45:10,644 } Don't use, abuse or refuse me } 1298 01:45:10,686 --> 01:45:13,063 } It's no joke I'm broke } 1299 01:45:13,188 --> 01:45:15,566 } But my rights I can and will invoke } 1300 01:45:15,649 --> 01:45:17,860 } I'm homely and I'm Ionely } 1301 01:45:17,985 --> 01:45:20,487 } But the state cannot disown me } 1302 01:45:20,571 --> 01:45:23,157 } It ain't funny I might want money } 1303 01:45:23,240 --> 01:45:25,325 } To take home to my honey } 1304 01:45:29,246 --> 01:45:32,499 } This is the city of crime } 1305 01:45:34,251 --> 01:45:36,795 } Don't step outta line } 1306 01:45:39,131 --> 01:45:42,885 } This is the city of crime } 1307 01:45:43,051 --> 01:45:46,555 } Where an honest man is hard to find }} 1308 01:45:46,597 --> 01:45:49,850 Subtitles By Captions, Inc. 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