1
00:00:24,408 --> 00:00:27,392
♪ Don't got a pretty girl
who loves me a lot
2
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,295
♪ Don't got an airplane
or a car that's real hot
3
00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,965
♪ Don't got a fine pad
or stereo
4
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,867
♪ And I don't do well
at the school
5
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:37,002
♪ Where I go, go, go, go, go
6
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:38,536
♪ But I'm happy
7
00:00:40,274 --> 00:00:45,143
♪ I'm happy though the world
is upside down
8
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,712
♪ I'm happy that we made it
through another day
9
00:00:47,781 --> 00:00:50,799
♪ When I pick up the phone
I still remember what to say
10
00:00:50,868 --> 00:00:53,669
♪ I'm happy that my brain
still lives inside my head
11
00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:55,136
♪ Most of all, I think
12
00:00:55,205 --> 00:00:58,006
♪ I'm hap-hap-hap-
hap-hap-happy
13
00:00:58,074 --> 00:01:00,943
♪ Happy that I ain't dead
14
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:10,018
♪ Oh-ho, uh-huh, I'm happy
15
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:17,326
♪ Huh!
16
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:22,480
♪ I read the paper
I saw the news
17
00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:25,367
♪ All those people
out there singin' the blues
18
00:01:25,435 --> 00:01:27,619
♪ They get excited
Why don't they just relax?
19
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,755
♪ All they gotta do
is kick back, kick back
20
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,740
♪ Kick back and be happy
21
00:01:33,577 --> 00:01:36,912
♪ Happy though the whole thing
is ready to blow
22
00:01:40,050 --> 00:01:42,550
♪ I'm happy that we made it
through another day
23
00:01:42,619 --> 00:01:45,637
♪ When I pick up the phone
I still remember what to say
24
00:01:45,705 --> 00:01:48,473
♪ I'm happy that my brain
still lives inside my head
25
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:51,809
♪ Most of all
I'm hap-hap-hap-hap-hap-happy
26
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:54,429
♪ That I ain't dead
27
00:01:55,165 --> 00:01:56,448
♪ Mmm-hmm
28
00:01:58,018 --> 00:01:59,918
♪ I ain't dead ♪
29
00:02:16,587 --> 00:02:18,636
Wondermutt, go get Bob.
30
00:02:20,540 --> 00:02:22,156
Hey, guys!
31
00:02:23,594 --> 00:02:26,178
You all got
your grade cards, right?
32
00:02:26,230 --> 00:02:27,762
Okay.
33
00:02:27,831 --> 00:02:29,598
What have we learned
this year?
34
00:02:29,666 --> 00:02:33,468
Teamwork, sportsmanship,
how your friends look naked.
35
00:02:33,537 --> 00:02:35,971
You'll notice
your grade cards are blank.
36
00:02:36,039 --> 00:02:39,407
Now, who better to evaluate a student's
progress than the student himself?
37
00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,243
Yeah!
38
00:02:42,646 --> 00:02:44,746
Good morning, young people.
39
00:02:44,815 --> 00:02:47,883
Vice Principal Gills has some words
for you. Mr. Gills.
40
00:02:47,951 --> 00:02:50,118
Thank you,
Principal Kelban.
41
00:02:52,021 --> 00:02:53,221
Well, well.
42
00:02:53,290 --> 00:02:54,489
I suppose
that you all remember
43
00:02:54,558 --> 00:02:56,457
the English skills test
you took last month?
44
00:02:56,526 --> 00:02:57,876
No.
45
00:02:57,944 --> 00:02:58,926
I had English?
46
00:02:58,995 --> 00:03:00,179
Was that
the dot-to-dot puzzle?
47
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,847
Yeah, that was it, yeah.
No, I don't remember.
48
00:03:02,916 --> 00:03:05,266
I'm not surprised.
All of you failed.
49
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:07,852
However, in accordance with
the district's new policies
50
00:03:07,921 --> 00:03:09,754
on minimum
academic proficiencies,
51
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,156
you will all have the opportunity
to retake the exam.
52
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,343
Great.
- Oh, joy, I have a boner now.
53
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,265
Hi.
Hi.
54
00:03:20,334 --> 00:03:21,632
I'm all packed.
Are you ready?
55
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,219
One minute to go.
56
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,022
Your parents have all been notified
that you'll be retested
57
00:03:27,091 --> 00:03:31,159
after completing the mandatory course
in Remedial English.
58
00:03:31,228 --> 00:03:32,961
In summer school.
What?
59
00:03:33,030 --> 00:03:34,979
What? We just finished
a whole semester of school
60
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,331
and we gotta go
to summer school?
61
00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,599
You're crazy.
I ain't going to summer school.
62
00:03:38,668 --> 00:03:40,936
My grandmother's
gonna kill me.
63
00:03:41,005 --> 00:03:46,174
20, 19, 18, 17, 16, 15,
64
00:03:46,242 --> 00:03:49,410
14, 13, 12,
65
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:53,765
11, 10, 9, 8,
66
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:57,436
7, 6, 5, 4,
67
00:03:57,504 --> 00:04:00,021
3, 2, 1!
68
00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,726
I won! I won!
69
00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,098
I won! I won!
70
00:04:29,787 --> 00:04:31,920
Gills, Kelban,
I did it. I did it.
71
00:04:31,989 --> 00:04:34,272
Look at this puppy.
50,000 big ones.
72
00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:36,508
You know what this means?
No summer school.
73
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,376
Wait a minute,
you gave me your word.
74
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:40,896
That was the old word.
My new one is "money."
75
00:04:40,964 --> 00:04:42,847
A man of your integrity
would let a mere 50 grand
76
00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:44,148
weaken his commitment
to education?
77
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,050
I have seen lesser men
win millions in the lottery
78
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,552
go right back
to busing tables!
79
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,554
They're frigging morons!
80
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:54,225
Let me out of here!
Let me out of here!
81
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,745
Don't look at me.
You're in charge of summer school.
82
00:05:02,019 --> 00:05:03,101
May I speak with you
a minute?
83
00:05:03,169 --> 00:05:04,635
Sure,
what can I do for you?
84
00:05:04,704 --> 00:05:07,172
I need you to teach summer school.
Dearadorian just quit.
85
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:08,739
Didn't he teach
Remedial English?
86
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,658
Well, yes... Winnick!
87
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:12,911
Musway!
88
00:05:17,267 --> 00:05:18,750
Stop! Stop!
89
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,303
Mary!
90
00:05:23,207 --> 00:05:24,922
I have to talk to you.
91
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:30,495
Kim, get in the car.
92
00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:33,431
It's okay. I'll meet you at the airport.
I'll get a cab.
93
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:35,634
Take Wondermutt with you.
94
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:42,924
Shoop.
95
00:05:44,461 --> 00:05:46,194
All right.
96
00:05:47,530 --> 00:05:49,548
Mr. Shoop. Oh, Mr. Shoop.
97
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:54,386
Congratulations.
You've been chosen to teach summer school.
98
00:05:54,454 --> 00:05:56,671
Oh, shoot.
99
00:05:56,739 --> 00:05:59,974
If only I'd known sooner.
We're going to Hawaii.
100
00:06:00,043 --> 00:06:03,762
May I remind you, Mr. Shoop,
you're up for tenure.
101
00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:05,296
You want a job next year?
102
00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,983
Come on, Mr. Gills.
Look, we got leis on and everything.
103
00:06:08,051 --> 00:06:10,152
You'll be teaching
Remedial English.
104
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:13,404
Remedial English?
Look, I ain't no English teacher.
105
00:06:13,473 --> 00:06:15,707
See? Double negative.
106
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:18,242
No, I hand out basketballs,
check for jockstraps.
107
00:06:18,311 --> 00:06:20,579
I'm, like, very challenged.
108
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:22,563
I'm not a real teacher.
That's all right.
109
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,200
These aren't real students.
They're unmotivated, irresponsible.
110
00:06:25,269 --> 00:06:26,501
Not too bright.
111
00:06:26,570 --> 00:06:29,237
They'll relate to you.
I appreciate that.
112
00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:32,274
No. No, look, the only reason I got into
this whole teaching gig
113
00:06:32,342 --> 00:06:33,841
in the first place
was to get my summers off.
114
00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:36,077
No, I'm afraid
my answer has to be no.
115
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,398
No, thank you?
116
00:06:39,466 --> 00:06:42,517
Bottom line, Mr. Shoop,
you need my recommendation for tenure.
117
00:06:42,585 --> 00:06:44,752
This is blackmail.
118
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,854
We call it school spirit.
119
00:06:54,464 --> 00:06:55,614
Kim.
120
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,251
Have you ever seen
The Wizard of Oz?
121
00:06:59,319 --> 00:07:01,953
Oh, I love that movie.
Yeah. Yeah, me, too.
122
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:04,172
And my favorite part
is when Dorothy,
123
00:07:04,241 --> 00:07:06,007
she clicks her heels together
three times
124
00:07:06,076 --> 00:07:08,476
and she says,
"There's no place like home.
125
00:07:08,544 --> 00:07:11,679
"There is no place like home."
126
00:07:11,748 --> 00:07:14,182
Oh, Shoop, I understand.
127
00:07:14,251 --> 00:07:16,751
You do?
You're not disappointed?
128
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:20,805
No. I'll just go by myself.
129
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:23,642
What, alone?
I'll make friends.
130
00:07:23,710 --> 00:07:25,626
Look, Kim, if you love me,
131
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:28,396
I mean, even if you just like me a lot,
you won't do this.
132
00:07:28,464 --> 00:07:31,649
Shoop, if I didn't like you, I wouldn't
ask you to drive me to the airport,
133
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,351
now would I, hmm?
134
00:07:34,771 --> 00:07:36,454
Guess not.
135
00:07:36,523 --> 00:07:38,723
You're in room 43.
136
00:07:39,726 --> 00:07:42,643
Files on your students.
137
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,645
A word to the wise,
Mr. Shoop.
138
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,182
Right off the bat, you show 'em
who's in charge. Hmm?
139
00:07:47,251 --> 00:07:49,017
Great.
140
00:07:49,086 --> 00:07:50,952
Who is in charge?
141
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,407
Very cute.
142
00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,878
Thanks. So are you.
143
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:02,580
Oh, you meant...
144
00:08:04,034 --> 00:08:07,568
Jeez, I'm so embarrassed.
But you are cute.
145
00:08:07,637 --> 00:08:09,053
I'm all right.
146
00:08:09,122 --> 00:08:11,739
I'm Robin Bishop.
I teach American History next door.
147
00:08:11,808 --> 00:08:15,243
Hi, Freddy Shoop.
Remedial English, right here.
148
00:08:15,312 --> 00:08:16,628
Everybody just
calls me Shoop.
149
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,280
Okay, Shoop.
150
00:08:21,017 --> 00:08:23,668
Why am I here? Oh, thumbtacks.
Could I borrow some?
151
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:27,755
Sure. I was just gonna get my
summer bulletin board goin' here.
152
00:08:27,824 --> 00:08:30,909
Jackpot. Whole box.
Here you go, my treat.
153
00:08:30,961 --> 00:08:32,710
But what about
your bulletin board?
154
00:08:32,779 --> 00:08:34,629
Oh, yeah. Give me one.
155
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:38,166
Remedial English, huh?
156
00:08:38,234 --> 00:08:41,269
I got it easy, I have honor students.
They're here voluntarily.
157
00:08:41,338 --> 00:08:43,204
Can you believe it?
No.
158
00:08:43,272 --> 00:08:46,925
I've seen some of your students.
Very scary.
159
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,893
You must be a good teacher.
160
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:52,580
Shucks, Robin, I don't know.
161
00:08:52,649 --> 00:08:56,318
Heck, inside every so called
"bad kid" is a good kid
162
00:08:56,386 --> 00:08:59,821
just waiting for someone to reach on down
through the sleaze and the slime,
163
00:08:59,889 --> 00:09:01,889
pick him up
and hose him off.
164
00:09:01,959 --> 00:09:03,258
I mean, who knows,
165
00:09:03,327 --> 00:09:04,492
if we fail
with even one child,
166
00:09:04,561 --> 00:09:07,379
we might be losin'
the next Ted Koppel.
167
00:09:07,447 --> 00:09:09,798
We're the unsung heroes.
We're doin' God's work.
168
00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:12,066
And I notice you're not wearing
a wedding ring.
169
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,402
Yeah, my mother
noticed that, too.
170
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:17,705
So you're single. In love? Involved?
What's the story here?
171
00:09:17,773 --> 00:09:20,658
The story is that
I've been seeing someone.
172
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:24,679
But we just started dating, so you do
what you think is right.
173
00:09:24,747 --> 00:09:27,164
Okay.
I better get going.
174
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:29,301
Well, here,
I'll walk you.
175
00:09:30,837 --> 00:09:33,171
So you're free to see
other people then, huh?
176
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,806
Are you asking me out?
177
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:36,641
Well, if I was,
would you say yes?
178
00:09:36,709 --> 00:09:37,776
I might.
179
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:40,578
Well, I might be
asking you out.
180
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,713
Do you like Chinese?
I hate it.
181
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,431
Me, too. I can't stand it.
182
00:09:44,500 --> 00:09:46,451
Wanna go out some time
and not eat Chinese?
183
00:09:46,519 --> 00:09:47,902
I might.
184
00:09:47,971 --> 00:09:50,338
Why don't we talk about that
after school?
185
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,944
I'm in love again.
186
00:09:59,782 --> 00:10:02,566
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
The crowd goes mild.
187
00:10:02,635 --> 00:10:05,069
Hey, wow.
Kevin?
188
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,171
What happened
to football, buddy?
189
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:07,405
Yeah, man.
190
00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:09,908
I was kicked off the team
for being stupid.
191
00:10:09,976 --> 00:10:11,542
All right,
it's about time.
192
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:13,344
Congratulations, bud.
193
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,882
Sorry I'm late.
194
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,289
Hey, Mr. Shoop.
Wow. You're in this class, too?
195
00:10:24,691 --> 00:10:25,990
Mmm-mmm.
196
00:10:26,059 --> 00:10:28,909
I'm teachin' it.
No way!
197
00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:31,162
♪ Party all the time!
Party all the time!
198
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:33,031
♪ My girl likes
to party all the time! ♪
199
00:10:33,100 --> 00:10:34,699
All right.
All right, have a seat.
200
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:37,268
Let's see who
the lucky winners are.
201
00:10:39,272 --> 00:10:42,173
Larry Kazimias.
Where's Larry?
202
00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,691
Shh.
203
00:10:43,760 --> 00:10:45,777
He's nocturnal.
204
00:10:45,845 --> 00:10:47,895
Oh, okay.
205
00:10:47,964 --> 00:10:51,265
Try and keep it down.
Francis Gremp?
206
00:10:51,334 --> 00:10:54,636
Don't ever call me that.
The name is Chainsaw.
207
00:10:54,704 --> 00:10:57,555
As in Black and Decker?
As in Texas Massacre.
208
00:10:57,623 --> 00:10:58,990
Oh, yeah, that's in here.
209
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:00,174
It's in there.
210
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:02,643
They got files on us.
Pam House.
211
00:11:06,315 --> 00:11:08,716
Says here
you lack concentration.
212
00:11:12,438 --> 00:11:13,504
Pam?
213
00:11:14,140 --> 00:11:15,239
Hmm?
214
00:11:18,611 --> 00:11:19,960
Never mind.
215
00:11:20,663 --> 00:11:22,213
Jerome Watkins.
216
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:26,668
Computer said
I failed that test.
217
00:11:26,736 --> 00:11:29,387
The computer made an error.
218
00:11:29,455 --> 00:11:33,874
I recommend this time,
I pass.
219
00:11:33,943 --> 00:11:36,877
You're gonna do well,
Jerome. I can feel it.
220
00:11:40,716 --> 00:11:44,369
Alan Eakian.
Present, sir.
221
00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:47,471
Four brothers, two sisters,
all straight-A students.
222
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:49,123
What are you doing here?
223
00:11:49,192 --> 00:11:53,027
I assume there was some sort of
a baby mix-up at the hospital.
224
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:56,414
Rhonda Altobello.
- Here.
225
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:59,017
You went from C's to F's.
What happened?
226
00:12:02,839 --> 00:12:05,406
Any other questions?
No.
227
00:12:07,677 --> 00:12:08,927
Denise Green.
228
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,611
What's that file
say about me?
229
00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:12,180
Whatever it says, it's a lie.
230
00:12:12,248 --> 00:12:13,580
You wanna know something about me,
ask me. I'm right here.
231
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,566
What you want to know?
232
00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,369
Where are my car keys?
- How would I know?
233
00:12:18,438 --> 00:12:20,939
What, does that thing say
I'm a thief, too?
234
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,759
All right,
where are my car keys?
235
00:12:27,630 --> 00:12:28,663
Chainsaw?
236
00:12:28,732 --> 00:12:30,447
They're somewhere
in this room.
237
00:12:30,516 --> 00:12:32,399
Right now you're very cold.
238
00:12:34,670 --> 00:12:37,038
You're really cold.
I want those keys.
239
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:40,041
Oh, God, you're freezing.
240
00:12:40,109 --> 00:12:43,444
Okay. Okay, I'm a fun guy.
I'll play along.
241
00:12:44,781 --> 00:12:46,280
Getting warmer.
242
00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,648
You are getting
hot, man.
243
00:12:47,717 --> 00:12:50,184
Oh, I see smoke.
- You are on fire!
244
00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:52,520
Oh, you're walking on the sun!
Ouch! Oh, wait! Wait!
245
00:12:52,588 --> 00:12:54,806
My mistake, I forgot where I put them.
You're ice-cold, dude.
246
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:57,342
Come on, enough of this shit.
247
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,527
Ooh! Now does that mean
we can swear in class?
248
00:12:59,596 --> 00:13:00,611
Shit, yes!
249
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,063
Hey, watch
your fucking language!
250
00:13:02,131 --> 00:13:04,665
Watch your language,
fartface!
251
00:13:07,854 --> 00:13:09,170
Where are
my frigging car keys?
252
00:13:09,238 --> 00:13:10,971
There's the dick-brain
that knows.
253
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,108
If I knew anything,
would I be in this butthole class?
254
00:13:14,176 --> 00:13:15,710
Suck my loggerhead.
255
00:13:15,778 --> 00:13:17,495
Damn it!
256
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:18,613
Jizzumhead!
257
00:13:18,682 --> 00:13:21,031
Jizzumhead. Yeah, good one.
258
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,767
One of my all-time faves.
259
00:13:24,070 --> 00:13:25,819
Psychology.
260
00:13:25,888 --> 00:13:29,307
You give a child the license to swear,
they lose all interest in it.
261
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,959
I certainly did.
I think you're full of bull.
262
00:13:32,027 --> 00:13:34,629
It's okay, you can say
"bullshit" in here.
263
00:13:34,697 --> 00:13:36,247
I'm grateful.
264
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,649
Mr. Shoop, I'm sure you're aware
that I'm teaching next door.
265
00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,118
And this swearing-bee
is getting a little loud.
266
00:13:41,187 --> 00:13:45,356
Do you think you could concentrate on some
obscene gestures for a while?
267
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:48,159
Yes! Yes, that's the idea.
268
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,062
Thank you.
269
00:13:53,616 --> 00:13:55,566
I don't think she likes you.
270
00:14:01,641 --> 00:14:03,374
I want my car keys.
271
00:14:05,795 --> 00:14:08,179
I'm using the lavatory.
272
00:14:08,247 --> 00:14:09,230
Hey!
273
00:14:10,933 --> 00:14:12,383
This is worse
than a gas station.
274
00:14:12,451 --> 00:14:14,635
Yeah, I think
I have to go, too, Mr. Shoop.
275
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:18,205
Wait a minute.
Hey, wait a... My keys.
276
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,091
Attaboy, Mr. Shoop.
277
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:22,960
Hey. Hey!
278
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:26,847
Okay, I'm calling roll
and then I'm gonna...
279
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:30,184
Where's my roll sheet?
280
00:14:30,252 --> 00:14:32,420
It's somewhere in this room.
281
00:14:38,361 --> 00:14:42,096
Hey. Sorry about the noise.
282
00:14:42,165 --> 00:14:45,899
I'm really a gym teacher.
I don't belong in a classroom.
283
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:47,901
Apology accepted.
284
00:14:49,372 --> 00:14:51,039
See you later.
285
00:14:51,107 --> 00:14:54,776
Let's start all over.
Hi, I'm Freddy Shoop.
286
00:14:54,844 --> 00:14:58,179
Look, Freddy, you're a semi-charming guy
and a real snappy dresser.
287
00:14:58,247 --> 00:15:00,148
You're just not the kind of guy
I date anymore.
288
00:15:00,216 --> 00:15:01,949
Yeah? What kind of guy
are you dating now?
289
00:15:02,018 --> 00:15:03,601
Oh, the kind
who wears socks.
290
00:15:03,653 --> 00:15:05,119
I got a pair somewhere.
291
00:15:05,188 --> 00:15:07,972
White ones. So about dinner,
292
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,241
you like Italian? Mexican?
Hey, maybe you'd rather cook.
293
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:13,077
I'm not having
dinner with you.
294
00:15:13,145 --> 00:15:14,862
Okay, lunch.
Robin.
295
00:15:15,865 --> 00:15:17,365
Excuse me just one second.
296
00:15:17,433 --> 00:15:20,218
Uh, Robin, about tonight,
the concert starts about 8:00.
297
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:22,620
So I thought we'd go to the beach
and have a picnic.
298
00:15:22,688 --> 00:15:25,223
Watch the sunset.
Sounds wonderful.
299
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,995
Oh, bye-bye, Freddy.
300
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,799
I'll be darned.
You're a heterosexual.
301
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,518
And a damned good one.
302
00:15:39,556 --> 00:15:41,755
Good luck, honey.
Thanks, Mom.
303
00:15:42,492 --> 00:15:44,592
Okay, start her up.
304
00:15:44,661 --> 00:15:45,759
Uh...
305
00:15:47,597 --> 00:15:49,396
Make a right, please.
306
00:15:58,274 --> 00:15:59,990
These photos suck.
307
00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:01,876
Weddings, graduations.
308
00:16:04,114 --> 00:16:06,747
Hoffman came in.
Yeah.
309
00:16:06,816 --> 00:16:09,233
Ooh! It's more of
the redhead with the tattoo.
310
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:13,120
This time he's got her making breakfast
stark raving naked.
311
00:16:13,188 --> 00:16:14,972
Oh, Hoffman, you're so sick.
312
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,640
Check out this composition.
313
00:16:16,709 --> 00:16:19,694
Round English muffin, square butter,
triangular bush.
314
00:16:19,762 --> 00:16:21,595
The man is an artist.
315
00:16:22,965 --> 00:16:24,832
Reprints.
Reprints.
316
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:27,551
Hi, I'd like to sign up
for Lamaze classes.
317
00:16:27,620 --> 00:16:30,354
Okay, how are Tuesday nights
for you and your coach?
318
00:16:30,422 --> 00:16:32,990
Perfect,
but I don't have a coach.
319
00:16:33,059 --> 00:16:34,108
Well, what about the father?
320
00:16:34,176 --> 00:16:35,927
Well, you see,
that's sort of confusing.
321
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,996
It's either David Lee Roth,
who's on tour, or Sean Penn.
322
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:41,532
And I'd really hate
to upset Madonna.
323
00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,268
Fill this out.
324
00:16:49,241 --> 00:16:51,692
Okay. How far
did we get yesterday?
325
00:16:51,761 --> 00:16:53,627
Uh, you took roll.
326
00:16:53,696 --> 00:16:56,330
Right. That shouldn't take
as long today.
327
00:16:59,886 --> 00:17:01,252
Pam.
328
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,139
Mr. Shoop, I gotta book.
329
00:17:05,207 --> 00:17:06,857
What? You just got here.
330
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:08,492
Uh, yeah.
331
00:17:09,979 --> 00:17:11,312
It's a female thing.
332
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,032
Oh, yeah, I understand.
333
00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,317
Oh, man, she's going surfing!
334
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:20,721
I'm sure.
335
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:25,943
Fuck. This menstruation deal,
it's such a scam.
336
00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:27,628
Girls are so lucky.
337
00:17:27,697 --> 00:17:30,097
What? Oh, we're so lucky?
338
00:17:30,166 --> 00:17:32,566
You think being on your period is
some picnic in the park?
339
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,668
Are you crazy?
340
00:17:33,736 --> 00:17:35,386
One, you get all PMSed-out,
341
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:37,121
there's no room in your purse
for no hairbrush
342
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:38,956
'cause you got these
damn minipads.
343
00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:40,307
You are so ignorant!
344
00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:44,895
What can I say? This whole class
is jammed with ignorance.
345
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,982
Yes, it is.
Come in here, please.
346
00:17:48,050 --> 00:17:50,884
Mr. Shoop, this is our new
foreign exchange student,
347
00:17:50,953 --> 00:17:54,672
Anna-Maria Mazarelli.
Anna-Maria is from Milan, Italy.
348
00:17:54,741 --> 00:17:57,057
She would like to,
uh, brush up on her English skills
349
00:17:57,126 --> 00:18:00,494
before the fall semester
begins.
350
00:18:00,563 --> 00:18:03,347
Well, I guess I'll let you return
to your rigorous pursuit
351
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,982
of academic excellence.
352
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,617
Please.
353
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:09,269
Anna-Maria,
welcome to America.
354
00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,838
You can sit
wherever you want.
355
00:18:10,907 --> 00:18:12,540
You looking for a seat?
356
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,563
Well, now, this desk
appears to be unoccupied.
357
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,477
Okay, let's see
what we got here.
358
00:18:34,514 --> 00:18:36,547
"Rules of grammar.
359
00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:39,116
"Writing paragraphs."
360
00:18:39,185 --> 00:18:41,485
God, I hate this stuff.
361
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:43,854
"Book reports."
362
00:18:43,922 --> 00:18:45,990
Anybody wanna get out of here?
Go to the library?
363
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,308
Yeah.
Yeah.
364
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:48,809
Let's go.
365
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:51,929
I am Chainsaw.
366
00:18:51,997 --> 00:18:53,431
Hi, Chainsaw.
367
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:56,116
Hi, I'm Dave.
Ciao.
368
00:18:56,185 --> 00:18:57,885
- Well, we love Italy.
- Yeah.
369
00:18:57,954 --> 00:19:00,021
The pizza.
Mussolini.
370
00:19:00,089 --> 00:19:02,556
And Tony Bennett.
The Mafia.
371
00:19:02,625 --> 00:19:04,091
Yeah. Chef Boyardee.
372
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,260
Pinocchio.
Fellatio.
373
00:19:06,328 --> 00:19:08,562
Oh, I don't like that.
374
00:19:08,631 --> 00:19:10,631
Well, have you ever tried it?
Sure.
375
00:19:10,699 --> 00:19:14,769
Chef Boyardee,
spaghetti in a can. It's so mushy.
376
00:19:21,543 --> 00:19:23,611
Anna-Maria?
Si.
377
00:19:23,679 --> 00:19:27,865
Have you seen the movie, uh,
Texas Chainsaw Massacre?
378
00:19:27,933 --> 00:19:30,368
No. It is good?
379
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:33,520
Oh, I gotta tell you,
I love this film.
380
00:19:33,590 --> 00:19:36,256
It had passion
and a plucky spirit.
381
00:19:36,325 --> 00:19:38,258
And the characters
had integrity.
382
00:19:38,327 --> 00:19:41,295
Like when Leatherface
went on a strict diet of human flesh.
383
00:19:41,364 --> 00:19:43,280
He had to cut out
chicken and fish completely.
384
00:19:43,349 --> 00:19:45,699
Dave, I agree with you.
I'll go a step further.
385
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:48,502
Sure, Leatherface,
he wore a mask made out of human skin,
386
00:19:48,571 --> 00:19:51,271
and he hung people on meat hooks,
but, hey, we've all got quirks.
387
00:19:51,340 --> 00:19:52,756
I've got 'em.
You've got 'em, Dave.
388
00:19:52,825 --> 00:19:55,760
That's what makes this character
so, so compelling.
389
00:19:55,828 --> 00:19:58,412
Thumbs up from me.
- Same here.
390
00:19:58,481 --> 00:20:00,748
To sum it up, I'm Chainsaw.
- I'm Dave.
391
00:20:00,817 --> 00:20:03,350
- We'll see you...
- At the movies.
392
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:05,285
Okay.
393
00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:07,338
Let's go, people.
394
00:20:07,407 --> 00:20:09,173
I found 'em at Winchell's.
395
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:11,475
Here, we all chipped in.
396
00:20:12,828 --> 00:20:15,946
Hey, jelly. I'm touched.
397
00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:19,333
This one was in the parking lot
with a surfboard.
398
00:20:19,401 --> 00:20:22,018
This is so humiliating.
399
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:23,738
Pam.
400
00:20:25,808 --> 00:20:28,408
You know, I grew up
surfin' those same waves.
401
00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,344
Today was phenom.
402
00:20:30,412 --> 00:20:34,148
Three to four, breakin' out of the south,
glassy, light offshore breeze.
403
00:20:34,216 --> 00:20:36,133
You had to go for the ditch.
404
00:20:37,469 --> 00:20:38,669
Thanks.
405
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:41,305
You're very spiritual.
406
00:20:44,009 --> 00:20:45,609
But the rest of
you clowns...
407
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:49,029
Hey, I gotta say somethin'.
This whole thing is a joke.
408
00:20:49,098 --> 00:20:51,499
There's a very valid reason
for summer vacation.
409
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:53,300
The human brain needs rest.
410
00:20:53,369 --> 00:20:56,019
Yeah. I mean,
what are we doing here?
411
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:57,655
Really. I don't
wanna be here.
412
00:20:57,724 --> 00:21:01,125
Hey, look,
this wasn't my idea.
413
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:03,327
I know you guys aren't exactly
fired up about English
414
00:21:03,396 --> 00:21:05,329
and I wouldn't know
what to do if you were.
415
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:08,382
But we're stuck here.
We're trapped like rats.
416
00:21:11,304 --> 00:21:13,504
Anybody got any ideas?
417
00:21:13,572 --> 00:21:14,588
Mmm.
418
00:21:14,656 --> 00:21:17,574
Why don't we take
some field trips?
419
00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,143
Can we do that?
Sure, yeah. I, uh...
420
00:21:22,615 --> 00:21:24,999
I got permission slips
right here.
421
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:33,607
Okay, take these home, have
your mom or dad sign 'em.
422
00:21:33,675 --> 00:21:35,526
As soon as I get them back,
I'll see what I can do.
423
00:21:35,594 --> 00:21:37,611
- Done.
- Same here.
424
00:21:41,851 --> 00:21:43,033
Good.
425
00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:56,363
♪ I'm looking out the window
waiting on the bell to ring
426
00:21:56,432 --> 00:22:00,801
♪ Oh, you know, you know
we haven't learned a thing
427
00:22:00,870 --> 00:22:05,138
♪ I see my education
going on down the drain
428
00:22:05,207 --> 00:22:06,673
♪ 'Cause I been learning
how to party
429
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:09,643
♪ It's a learning experience
430
00:22:09,712 --> 00:22:14,014
♪ I've been learning how to party
It's a learning experience
431
00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:17,601
♪ My folks keep telling me
"Boy, you ain't got no sense
432
00:22:18,621 --> 00:22:20,938
♪ "You gotta get an education
433
00:22:21,006 --> 00:22:23,090
♪ "Get an education
434
00:22:23,159 --> 00:22:25,292
♪ "Find some motivation
435
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,461
♪ "Get an education
436
00:22:27,530 --> 00:22:30,113
♪ "If you wanna go far
it don't matter who you are
437
00:22:30,182 --> 00:22:32,332
♪ "If you get an education" ♪
438
00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:55,473
The Screwdriver was
an utter disappointment.
439
00:22:55,541 --> 00:22:58,876
I was hoping for a headache
or pounding temples,
440
00:22:58,944 --> 00:23:01,211
a blackout, anything, but, you know,
I feel fine.
441
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,614
Actually, my headache is gone.
I give it thumbs down.
442
00:23:03,683 --> 00:23:06,884
Dave, I'm surprised. I found the
Screwdriver simply delightful.
443
00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:09,119
Fast corners.
That third loop was a nice surprise.
444
00:23:09,188 --> 00:23:11,121
The line moved fast.
445
00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,692
Is he okay?
446
00:23:14,761 --> 00:23:16,427
No, Anna-Maria, it appears
that he's vomiting.
447
00:23:17,964 --> 00:23:20,530
That's a sure sign of a good ride.
Thumbs up.
448
00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:22,449
Eakian,
what did you eat?
449
00:23:52,965 --> 00:23:54,781
Don't be a pig. No.
450
00:24:01,858 --> 00:24:04,624
Hey! Hey, you slime.
451
00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:07,527
Stones's first farewell tour, '69.
Get out of here.
452
00:24:07,596 --> 00:24:10,664
Oh, wait.
He ripped my T-shirt.
453
00:24:10,733 --> 00:24:12,333
Oh, I can sew that.
454
00:24:12,401 --> 00:24:14,818
It's not necessary.
Go away!
455
00:24:14,887 --> 00:24:17,220
Nothing's necessary.
I want to.
456
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:20,741
Great, I'll let you.
457
00:24:20,826 --> 00:24:23,877
Get them off! Get them off!
Get them off me!
458
00:24:27,482 --> 00:24:30,000
The bunnies from Hell!
459
00:24:30,069 --> 00:24:31,484
Oh, God!
460
00:24:35,708 --> 00:24:37,207
Get away from me!
461
00:24:39,044 --> 00:24:40,844
Oh, dear!
462
00:24:53,241 --> 00:24:55,258
Thank you. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you.
463
00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:56,694
Thank you very, very much.
464
00:24:56,762 --> 00:24:59,263
What is this? It's a lie.
465
00:25:01,934 --> 00:25:04,668
We did this for you, Anna-Maria.
- How did you like it?
466
00:25:04,737 --> 00:25:06,503
It's disgusting!
467
00:25:07,973 --> 00:25:11,124
I love it. Wow.
468
00:25:11,193 --> 00:25:13,994
What is that?
Oh, it's foam latex.
469
00:25:14,863 --> 00:25:16,530
Keep it.
470
00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:18,399
You guys.
471
00:25:25,640 --> 00:25:27,941
Next field trip,
it's gotta be at the beach.
472
00:25:28,010 --> 00:25:31,278
We gotta see Anna-Maria in a bikini.
It's very important.
473
00:25:31,347 --> 00:25:32,830
I understand.
474
00:25:38,236 --> 00:25:39,719
♪ My babe
475
00:25:39,788 --> 00:25:43,623
♪ My babe, my babe, my babe
She comin' back home
476
00:25:43,709 --> 00:25:47,894
♪ Yes, my babe
She comin' back home to me
477
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:49,479
♪ You see
478
00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:53,751
♪ My baby comin' back
She's comin' back home to me ♪
479
00:25:53,819 --> 00:25:56,020
Whoa, girl,
this ain't the Riviera.
480
00:25:56,088 --> 00:25:58,305
Oh, thank you.
481
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,092
That was...
That was...
482
00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:04,461
That was...
That was cruel.
483
00:26:04,530 --> 00:26:06,964
That was...
You okay?
484
00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:08,231
Huh?
485
00:26:31,874 --> 00:26:34,040
Come in.
Come in, Mrs. Eakian.
486
00:26:34,109 --> 00:26:36,076
Now, how can I help you?
487
00:26:36,144 --> 00:26:39,179
Yesterday Alan came home
nauseous, sneezing,
488
00:26:39,248 --> 00:26:42,716
wheezing and itching,
with goat hairs on his clothes.
489
00:26:42,785 --> 00:26:45,986
He said he was at the museum,
but I found this in his pocket.
490
00:26:46,054 --> 00:26:47,420
Grandma.
491
00:26:47,489 --> 00:26:50,741
Is going on throw-up rides
and rubbing barnyard animals
492
00:26:50,809 --> 00:26:52,842
your idea
of quality education?
493
00:26:52,911 --> 00:26:54,728
Grandma.
Certainly not.
494
00:26:54,813 --> 00:26:57,197
We'll talk to Mr. Shoop
about this right now.
495
00:26:57,265 --> 00:26:58,849
I may have used
poor judgment.
496
00:26:58,901 --> 00:27:01,551
You actually used judgment.
497
00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:02,969
My God, do you realize
498
00:27:03,038 --> 00:27:04,938
that if anything had happened
to these kids, the lawsuits?
499
00:27:05,006 --> 00:27:07,407
You could've bankrupted
the entire district!
500
00:27:07,493 --> 00:27:10,043
And messed up your chances
of being elected to the state assembly?
501
00:27:10,112 --> 00:27:11,161
Yes!
502
00:27:11,229 --> 00:27:13,363
Don't wet your pants.
Watch this.
503
00:27:13,431 --> 00:27:17,000
All you had to do
was baby-sit some social deviants.
504
00:27:17,069 --> 00:27:18,836
Some of those deviants
are great kids.
505
00:27:18,904 --> 00:27:21,738
I'm sure they'll grow up
to be wonderful criminals.
506
00:27:21,790 --> 00:27:23,390
They're as smart
as you and me.
507
00:27:23,458 --> 00:27:25,175
You and I.
508
00:27:25,244 --> 00:27:26,527
All of us.
509
00:27:28,397 --> 00:27:31,798
You're suspended until Kelban returns
and officially fires you.
510
00:27:31,866 --> 00:27:33,317
What?
511
00:27:33,386 --> 00:27:37,237
Hey, this is your fault.
You knew I couldn't teach.
512
00:27:37,305 --> 00:27:39,305
Goodbye, Mr. Shoop.
513
00:27:49,568 --> 00:27:54,287
Gills, what if I become
a model teacher?
514
00:28:00,278 --> 00:28:03,863
This is gonna be fun. Okay.
515
00:28:03,933 --> 00:28:07,134
You get every kid left in your class
to pass that skills test
516
00:28:07,202 --> 00:28:09,670
and I'll forget
about your field trips.
517
00:28:09,755 --> 00:28:10,854
Done.
518
00:28:14,093 --> 00:28:16,443
They all have to pass?
It's called teaching.
519
00:28:16,512 --> 00:28:18,411
Of course, if you don't know
how to do that,
520
00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:21,932
then I guess you don't deserve tenure,
do you?
521
00:28:24,186 --> 00:28:25,452
I'll teach.
522
00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:33,994
Morning, class.
523
00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:37,397
- Nice tie!
- Mr. Shoop!
524
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:39,866
Oh, baby.
525
00:28:39,934 --> 00:28:43,670
Mr. Shoop, what's with the threads, man?
You getting married?
526
00:28:43,738 --> 00:28:46,206
No, must be laundry day.
Nothing else was clean, right?
527
00:28:46,275 --> 00:28:47,874
Are you going to a funeral?
- Could we come?
528
00:28:47,942 --> 00:28:49,309
Please take your seats.
529
00:28:49,378 --> 00:28:51,978
Where should we take 'em?
Where should we take 'em?
530
00:28:52,047 --> 00:28:53,730
Sit down, Francis.
531
00:28:58,437 --> 00:29:01,739
From this moment forth, you people
eat English, sleep English.
532
00:29:01,807 --> 00:29:03,490
You are English.
533
00:29:03,558 --> 00:29:05,559
Oh, then pass the crumpets,
old boy.
534
00:29:05,628 --> 00:29:07,644
I'm not kiddin' around.
535
00:29:07,712 --> 00:29:11,231
Anyone not interested in passing
that exam can leave right now.
536
00:29:17,355 --> 00:29:18,688
The guy's been pretty cool.
537
00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:20,590
He called me Francis.
538
00:29:20,659 --> 00:29:23,393
Hasta luego.
Placido Domingo.
539
00:29:23,461 --> 00:29:26,879
Chainsaw, Dave, wait a minute.
540
00:29:26,948 --> 00:29:31,518
Look, Gills is havin' a cow
about our field trips.
541
00:29:31,587 --> 00:29:35,088
Unless you guys all pass that test,
my job is Memorex.
542
00:29:36,725 --> 00:29:37,924
Anybody got any ideas here?
543
00:29:37,993 --> 00:29:39,676
Get yourself some want ads.
544
00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:42,929
I don't care what your files say.
You guys are not that dumb.
545
00:29:42,998 --> 00:29:46,866
Actually, Mr. Shoop, those files are
usually right on the money.
546
00:29:46,935 --> 00:29:48,735
You all feel that way?
I do.
547
00:29:50,155 --> 00:29:52,672
I may as well go home.
Mr. Shoop?
548
00:29:52,741 --> 00:29:55,892
Look, we don't want you
to lose your job.
549
00:29:57,095 --> 00:29:58,645
But think about
what you're asking.
550
00:29:58,714 --> 00:30:00,146
You want us to study?
551
00:30:00,215 --> 00:30:01,681
The thought
did cross my mind.
552
00:30:01,750 --> 00:30:03,800
Well, what's in it for us?
What do we get out of it?
553
00:30:03,869 --> 00:30:05,452
Literacy.
554
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:07,171
I'm sorry, that's...
555
00:30:09,542 --> 00:30:11,725
I'd like to help.
What can I do?
556
00:30:11,793 --> 00:30:13,076
Give me your car.
557
00:30:13,145 --> 00:30:15,011
And your house.
And your dog.
558
00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,181
- See you.
- Wait, wait, wait! Mr. Shoop, wait!
559
00:30:18,250 --> 00:30:20,617
There's room here
to negotiate.
560
00:30:20,686 --> 00:30:23,186
What if you granted
each one of us one wish?
561
00:30:26,225 --> 00:30:27,991
What do you mean, "wish"?
562
00:30:28,059 --> 00:30:29,776
You know, like a favor.
563
00:30:29,844 --> 00:30:31,528
Does anybody need anything?
564
00:30:31,596 --> 00:30:35,332
I need somebody to work out with,
in case I get back on the team.
565
00:30:35,401 --> 00:30:36,683
I could use a Lamaze coach.
566
00:30:36,752 --> 00:30:38,985
I need some driving lessons.
Bad.
567
00:30:40,772 --> 00:30:45,058
Okay, there's two of us.
Therefore, we get two.
568
00:30:45,126 --> 00:30:49,279
All right. One, a party, your house,
Fourth of July weekend.
569
00:30:49,331 --> 00:30:50,863
In Anna-Maria's honor.
570
00:30:50,932 --> 00:30:54,233
Number two, you arrange a
screening, in class,
571
00:30:54,303 --> 00:30:56,002
of the greatest movie
ever made.
572
00:30:56,070 --> 00:31:01,040
The 1973 Tobe Hooper classic
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
573
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:02,659
That is also
in Anna-Maria's honor.
574
00:31:02,728 --> 00:31:03,844
Thank you.
575
00:31:03,912 --> 00:31:06,479
Now, then, is there anything
that you desire?
576
00:31:06,548 --> 00:31:09,816
Oh, I don't deserve a wish.
I don't take the test anyway.
577
00:31:09,884 --> 00:31:13,737
God, she is so honest.
We'll take hers.
578
00:31:13,805 --> 00:31:18,374
Chauffeur service for Dave and I,
every day, to and from work.
579
00:31:19,060 --> 00:31:21,060
Pam, what's your wish?
580
00:31:22,397 --> 00:31:25,298
I'll tell Mr. Shoop
when the time is right.
581
00:31:30,172 --> 00:31:31,805
Larry?
582
00:31:31,873 --> 00:31:34,040
Larry, what do you want?
583
00:31:35,110 --> 00:31:36,176
Bed.
584
00:31:37,379 --> 00:31:39,713
He wants a bed.
585
00:31:39,782 --> 00:31:43,183
As for myself, I just wanna be invited
to the party.
586
00:31:45,453 --> 00:31:47,887
We'll see.
Good enough.
587
00:31:47,956 --> 00:31:50,890
I think these are
fair and reasonable requests.
588
00:31:50,959 --> 00:31:54,327
In return, we'll show up,
we'll pay attention
589
00:31:55,397 --> 00:31:58,748
and we'll even do
a little homework.
590
00:31:58,817 --> 00:32:00,467
Is this contract
acceptable to labor?
591
00:32:00,535 --> 00:32:01,534
No doubt.
592
00:32:01,620 --> 00:32:04,270
Yeah.
Does management agree?
593
00:32:04,339 --> 00:32:05,656
You sure I'm management?
594
00:32:05,708 --> 00:32:07,774
For our purposes here, yes.
595
00:32:09,645 --> 00:32:11,995
Do we have
a binding agreement?
596
00:32:13,665 --> 00:32:16,266
We got somethin'.
All right.
597
00:32:16,334 --> 00:32:20,487
All right.
Well, we put that baby to bed.
598
00:32:20,556 --> 00:32:24,524
Let's do lunch.
I always wanted to say that.
599
00:32:25,810 --> 00:32:28,528
Well, go ahead. Teach.
600
00:32:28,597 --> 00:32:29,780
Right.
601
00:32:30,749 --> 00:32:32,382
Teach.
602
00:32:34,753 --> 00:32:36,086
Don't anybody move.
603
00:32:36,154 --> 00:32:38,605
The Non-Proliferation Treaty.
Beagman?
604
00:32:38,673 --> 00:32:39,939
Excuse me, Miss Bishop.
605
00:32:40,008 --> 00:32:41,441
Mr. Shoop.
606
00:32:41,510 --> 00:32:45,712
Shouldn't you be planning
a field trip to 7-Eleven?
607
00:32:45,780 --> 00:32:48,081
I really need your help.
I know how you feel about me,
608
00:32:48,149 --> 00:32:51,067
but something really bizarre
has happened to my kids.
609
00:32:51,136 --> 00:32:53,420
Please.
All right.
610
00:32:53,489 --> 00:32:55,672
If I get next door and there's
a candlelight dinner,
611
00:32:55,740 --> 00:32:58,091
I'm calling security.
612
00:32:58,159 --> 00:33:00,994
- Continue.
- The 1970 Seabed Treaty.
613
00:33:01,063 --> 00:33:02,512
Do you own that suit?
614
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:10,087
What did you do,
pass out Valiums?
615
00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:12,105
Mmm-mmm.
This is a natural lull.
616
00:33:12,190 --> 00:33:15,708
Interesting phenomenon.
What do you want from me?
617
00:33:16,911 --> 00:33:20,013
How do you teach?
618
00:33:20,081 --> 00:33:22,115
If you're serious,
I'll help you.
619
00:33:22,183 --> 00:33:24,534
Great.
620
00:33:24,602 --> 00:33:27,888
Meet me after school.
We'll make plans for the weekend.
621
00:33:28,774 --> 00:33:30,390
For the weekend?
622
00:33:32,210 --> 00:33:34,995
Big guy. Okay.
623
00:33:41,303 --> 00:33:43,837
The easiest thing for you to do
is just base your lesson plans
624
00:33:43,906 --> 00:33:46,139
on the students'
own experiences.
625
00:33:47,175 --> 00:33:48,608
I can do that.
626
00:33:48,677 --> 00:33:50,677
Your life is
probably very similar.
627
00:33:50,746 --> 00:33:54,414
Hardly. I'm tellin' you,
you gotta try these Pop-Tarts.
628
00:33:54,483 --> 00:33:56,432
No, thanks.
629
00:33:56,501 --> 00:33:59,102
I'm sticking
with the Chocodiles.
630
00:33:59,171 --> 00:34:00,503
Anyway, the best teachers
631
00:34:00,572 --> 00:34:03,139
are the teachers who entertain
while they teach.
632
00:34:03,208 --> 00:34:05,324
So you should do just fine.
633
00:34:05,393 --> 00:34:07,493
You think I'm entertaining?
634
00:34:07,562 --> 00:34:09,529
To children.
635
00:34:09,598 --> 00:34:11,397
I gotta go. Your time's up.
636
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:12,749
I know why you're helping me.
637
00:34:12,818 --> 00:34:15,585
Professional courtesy.
- No. You like me.
638
00:34:15,653 --> 00:34:18,671
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
639
00:34:18,740 --> 00:34:20,607
No, I don't.
Yeah, you do.
640
00:34:20,675 --> 00:34:21,975
Do not.
Do, too.
641
00:34:22,043 --> 00:34:23,843
Don't either.
Come on.
642
00:34:23,912 --> 00:34:25,211
Don't you like me
just a little bit?
643
00:34:25,279 --> 00:34:26,379
No.
644
00:34:26,447 --> 00:34:30,049
Not even that much?
I like you that much.
645
00:34:34,706 --> 00:34:36,173
It's a start.
646
00:34:40,045 --> 00:34:44,347
Now, someone tell me why learning
how to write is so critical.
647
00:34:44,416 --> 00:34:45,565
It's a form of communication.
648
00:34:45,634 --> 00:34:50,636
Amen. And it can
get you free stuff.
649
00:34:50,705 --> 00:34:52,321
Free?
Free.
650
00:34:52,390 --> 00:34:56,292
I'm writin' the word "free."
651
00:34:56,361 --> 00:34:59,695
Here's how it works. All of us have
been ripped off, right?
652
00:34:59,765 --> 00:35:02,215
Pay phone steals your money,
not enough cheese on your pizza.
653
00:35:02,283 --> 00:35:05,135
My shades keep falling apart.
- Perfect.
654
00:35:05,204 --> 00:35:07,036
Now, you're gonna write
that company a letter.
655
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:09,939
And you're gonna see action
if your letter is clearly written
656
00:35:10,008 --> 00:35:11,874
and your letter threatens
to hurt their business.
657
00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:14,544
And is signed,
forgive me, Chainsaw,
658
00:35:14,613 --> 00:35:18,881
"Mr. Francis Gremp, President,
Consumer Against Faulty Eyewear."
659
00:35:18,950 --> 00:35:22,569
You want me to lie? Okay.
660
00:35:22,638 --> 00:35:25,071
Now, anyone interested
in learning the correct form,
661
00:35:25,140 --> 00:35:27,957
please turn to page 46
in your textbook.
662
00:35:31,479 --> 00:35:32,578
This shit works.
663
00:35:35,483 --> 00:35:37,434
Damn!
664
00:35:37,503 --> 00:35:39,869
Stupid son of a...
665
00:35:39,938 --> 00:35:41,671
Maybe I'm not cut out
to be a linebacker.
666
00:35:41,723 --> 00:35:45,142
No, look, you're lookin'
at my shoulders.
667
00:35:45,210 --> 00:35:49,179
Don't. Focus on my waist.
Okay? My waist.
668
00:35:50,415 --> 00:35:52,748
All right, try it again.
Go on.
669
00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:56,853
That's good.
Remember, I'm your teacher.
670
00:36:03,711 --> 00:36:05,412
You wanna learn how to surf?
671
00:36:09,284 --> 00:36:10,583
Are you sure
you wanna do this?
672
00:36:10,652 --> 00:36:11,718
Absolutely.
673
00:36:11,787 --> 00:36:14,320
Lamaze class,
great place to meet girls.
674
00:36:25,100 --> 00:36:27,767
Okay, Denise, slide over.
675
00:36:28,470 --> 00:36:31,054
Oh, no, no, no.
676
00:36:31,123 --> 00:36:33,256
Is this some kind of
sick, twisted joke?
677
00:36:33,325 --> 00:36:35,941
No, I'm combining Denise's driving lesson
with your ride to the beach.
678
00:36:36,010 --> 00:36:37,276
Come on. Get in.
679
00:36:37,345 --> 00:36:39,862
We took driver training
with Denise. Call us a cab.
680
00:36:39,931 --> 00:36:42,181
Get your grisly butts
in the car.
681
00:36:42,250 --> 00:36:45,351
Man, let me drive. I'm going for
my license next week.
682
00:36:46,655 --> 00:36:48,337
Chainsaw,
you've been drinking.
683
00:36:48,406 --> 00:36:49,906
No, it's cough medicine.
684
00:36:49,975 --> 00:36:52,675
Check out this phlegm.
685
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:55,511
Save the phlegm.
You're not driving anywhere.
686
00:36:55,580 --> 00:36:57,313
I'll tell you somethin',
and this is fact.
687
00:36:57,382 --> 00:36:59,648
You know why so many drunk
drivers get in wrecks?
688
00:36:59,717 --> 00:37:01,434
Because they don't
learn to drive drunk.
689
00:37:01,502 --> 00:37:03,886
Fact,
alcohol kills brain cells.
690
00:37:03,955 --> 00:37:06,021
You lose one more,
you're a talking monkey.
691
00:37:06,090 --> 00:37:07,690
Come on, get in.
692
00:37:08,192 --> 00:37:09,492
Come on!
693
00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:15,465
Okay, Denise, start her up.
694
00:37:17,969 --> 00:37:20,286
Signal left. Pull on out.
695
00:37:23,909 --> 00:37:27,359
Can I call my folks
and say I won't be home ever?
696
00:37:27,428 --> 00:37:29,145
I'm not used to this car.
697
00:37:39,157 --> 00:37:40,823
I think it's safe.
698
00:37:41,793 --> 00:37:43,626
Move it out.
699
00:37:43,695 --> 00:37:45,845
Nice and smooth.
Oh, yeah, that's...
700
00:37:47,381 --> 00:37:49,415
Fine. Good.
701
00:38:01,362 --> 00:38:02,561
Why did you do that?
702
00:38:02,630 --> 00:38:04,413
A car was comin'.
703
00:38:04,483 --> 00:38:07,283
Well, it'll happen
from time to time.
704
00:38:07,352 --> 00:38:09,319
Come on, Denise,
he won't bother us.
705
00:38:14,159 --> 00:38:17,777
We just got lapped
by an old lady with a walker.
706
00:38:17,846 --> 00:38:19,912
See that space between those cars?
- Yeah.
707
00:38:19,981 --> 00:38:21,498
Pull in.
You mean parallel park?
708
00:38:21,566 --> 00:38:22,832
Shoot, that's my weak spot.
709
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:24,617
Listen to her.
710
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:27,036
Okay.
711
00:38:37,365 --> 00:38:39,865
I'm sober now.
That's good for today.
712
00:38:39,934 --> 00:38:41,384
We live!
We live!
713
00:38:46,191 --> 00:38:47,907
It's beautiful.
714
00:38:47,975 --> 00:38:50,943
Enough safe and sane.
It's time for dumb and dangerous.
715
00:38:51,012 --> 00:38:54,680
These are Mexican.
You do not know what's in these babies.
716
00:38:57,385 --> 00:38:59,151
Hey, get me a brew.
717
00:39:07,595 --> 00:39:09,095
Coming through.
718
00:39:10,532 --> 00:39:12,265
Anna-Maria,
as far as we know,
719
00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:14,134
this has never,
ever been attempted.
720
00:39:14,202 --> 00:39:18,271
Anna-Maria, we dedicate
these cantaloupe to you.
721
00:39:19,941 --> 00:39:23,309
You make fruit bombs for me?
Oh, how sweet.
722
00:39:23,378 --> 00:39:24,577
Melon balls, comin' up!
723
00:39:24,646 --> 00:39:27,763
We're gonna
make these babies fly!
724
00:39:38,576 --> 00:39:40,960
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me.
725
00:39:41,029 --> 00:39:42,796
Larry, you're awake.
I wanna talk about school.
726
00:39:42,864 --> 00:39:45,265
Not now, babe, I'm late.
Late for what?
727
00:39:51,238 --> 00:39:53,573
What's it like
being pregnant?
728
00:39:53,641 --> 00:39:55,207
Bizarre.
729
00:39:55,276 --> 00:39:57,410
Yeah, that's
what I thought.
730
00:39:57,479 --> 00:40:01,947
My body is out of control,
and it's big and ugly.
731
00:40:02,017 --> 00:40:05,218
I think you look great.
Sure, in the dark.
732
00:40:08,873 --> 00:40:10,473
How much longer?
733
00:40:13,478 --> 00:40:15,528
About five weeks.
734
00:40:15,613 --> 00:40:17,613
It's gonna be amazing.
735
00:40:17,682 --> 00:40:19,582
Yeah, I know.
736
00:40:19,650 --> 00:40:21,384
You'll be a mother.
737
00:40:23,088 --> 00:40:24,119
Yeah.
738
00:40:24,172 --> 00:40:27,690
Eakian, this party's
gettin' weak.
739
00:40:27,758 --> 00:40:29,825
Do something wild.
Take all your clothes off.
740
00:40:29,894 --> 00:40:31,994
Why? You want everyone
to go home?
741
00:40:35,900 --> 00:40:38,167
You're almost fun tonight.
742
00:40:43,909 --> 00:40:45,141
Almost.
743
00:40:49,797 --> 00:40:52,765
You all right?
Yeah. Come on in.
744
00:40:52,834 --> 00:40:55,134
I'm just restin' up.
Too much fun.
745
00:40:55,202 --> 00:40:57,186
It's all sewn.
746
00:40:57,255 --> 00:40:59,388
Hey, thanks. That's great.
747
00:41:02,860 --> 00:41:04,793
I feel so at home here.
748
00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:07,896
Yeah, me, too.
749
00:41:08,566 --> 00:41:09,832
Yeah.
750
00:41:12,270 --> 00:41:14,486
The grunion
are running tonight.
751
00:41:16,007 --> 00:41:19,341
In the dead of night,
under a full moon,
752
00:41:20,678 --> 00:41:24,714
thousands of horny little fish
swim hundreds of miles
753
00:41:24,782 --> 00:41:27,283
to ball their brains out
in the sand.
754
00:41:27,351 --> 00:41:28,868
It's so romantic.
755
00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:36,292
You ever do that
with one of your students?
756
00:41:36,361 --> 00:41:40,229
No. I swim hundreds of miles,
I'm ready for a nap.
757
00:41:43,284 --> 00:41:45,250
Who's that?
758
00:41:45,319 --> 00:41:48,988
Oh, it's Kim.
She's sort of my girlfriend.
759
00:41:50,958 --> 00:41:53,710
"Sort of"?
- Well, she's in Hawaii.
760
00:41:56,598 --> 00:42:00,733
So you're all alone
and you like young girls.
761
00:42:01,903 --> 00:42:04,637
Kim's not that young.
She's 21.
762
00:42:04,705 --> 00:42:08,074
I'm 16. And you should
consider that.
763
00:42:08,143 --> 00:42:12,011
Because there's, like, no difference
between 21 and 16 now,
764
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:17,150
but when she's 66,
I'll only be 61.
765
00:42:18,336 --> 00:42:21,070
And I'll be 75
and it won't matter anyway.
766
00:42:25,677 --> 00:42:27,243
Yeah.
767
00:42:40,408 --> 00:42:43,175
Come on, Pam.
Time for more fun.
768
00:42:44,578 --> 00:42:46,012
Wondermutt!
769
00:42:56,825 --> 00:42:58,757
Out of my way!
770
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:02,077
Watch your ass, folks!
Banzai!
771
00:43:17,128 --> 00:43:18,962
Oh, shit. Fire!
772
00:43:24,252 --> 00:43:26,085
Do something!
773
00:43:29,857 --> 00:43:32,074
Jesus Christ,
my couch is on fire!
774
00:43:32,143 --> 00:43:33,258
Come on, Dave.
775
00:43:33,327 --> 00:43:35,194
What? What? What?
776
00:43:47,976 --> 00:43:49,342
All right,
we took care of it.
777
00:43:49,410 --> 00:43:51,277
My fish!
778
00:43:51,346 --> 00:43:53,495
How many were there?
- One.
779
00:43:55,183 --> 00:43:57,850
Poor fishy.
780
00:43:57,919 --> 00:44:00,870
You gotta get rid of that couch.
That is a definite fire hazard.
781
00:44:00,939 --> 00:44:02,905
Definitely.
Party's over.
782
00:44:02,974 --> 00:44:05,074
Oh, come on. It was just getting good.
We got a fire...
783
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:06,525
Good night!
784
00:44:07,378 --> 00:44:08,961
One little fire.
785
00:44:10,015 --> 00:44:11,280
Big deal.
786
00:44:20,308 --> 00:44:22,391
Minors drinking on the beach.
787
00:44:22,460 --> 00:44:24,060
Seriously, we never do this.
788
00:44:24,128 --> 00:44:26,128
Boy, never, ever.
789
00:44:26,197 --> 00:44:28,448
There's our English teacher,
let's ask him.
790
00:44:28,533 --> 00:44:32,385
Mr. Shoop, sir, could you come
here just a moment, please?
791
00:44:32,453 --> 00:44:33,585
Hey, guys.
- Hi.
792
00:44:33,654 --> 00:44:35,087
What's up?
793
00:44:35,156 --> 00:44:37,423
Found these boys
in possession of alcohol.
794
00:44:37,492 --> 00:44:41,360
That alcohol, Officer?
Oh, that's not theirs.
795
00:44:41,429 --> 00:44:43,212
No? Whose is it?
796
00:44:46,333 --> 00:44:47,700
It's mine.
797
00:44:47,768 --> 00:44:50,786
See, I... I live in that house
right there
798
00:44:50,855 --> 00:44:52,821
and they were
just watching my stuff.
799
00:44:52,890 --> 00:44:54,607
That's right.
It's... It's his.
800
00:44:54,676 --> 00:44:57,026
We should never have taken
those little baby sips.
801
00:44:57,095 --> 00:45:00,730
That was wrong.
God, so very, very wrong.
802
00:45:00,798 --> 00:45:04,300
I think they learned
one hell of a lesson, Officer.
803
00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:06,468
Next time you boys encounter
an alcoholic beverage
804
00:45:06,537 --> 00:45:08,720
I hope you remember
you're underage.
805
00:45:08,789 --> 00:45:11,139
Yes, sir, we will.
Yeah, of course, thank...
806
00:45:11,209 --> 00:45:12,859
Thank you.
807
00:45:12,927 --> 00:45:14,994
Well, we're off to do our homework.
- Yeah.
808
00:45:15,063 --> 00:45:16,696
All right. Thank you, Officer. Bye.
- Thank you.
809
00:45:16,781 --> 00:45:18,114
Oh, we should never
have tried this.
810
00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:19,248
It was a mistake.
811
00:45:19,316 --> 00:45:21,984
That was bad.
We should've just said no.
812
00:45:23,938 --> 00:45:25,737
You guys are good men.
Thank you.
813
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:28,191
Thank you.
814
00:45:28,259 --> 00:45:30,976
You're under arrest for contributing
to the delinquency of a minor.
815
00:45:31,045 --> 00:45:33,963
What? Officer, that's not
really my vodka.
816
00:45:34,031 --> 00:45:37,333
Is that your dog?
Yeah.
817
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:39,735
No dogs on the beach,
$50 fine.
818
00:45:39,804 --> 00:45:41,404
Let's go.
He's not really my dog.
819
00:45:41,472 --> 00:45:44,006
He just thinks he's my dog.
No, really, he's a neighborhood dog.
820
00:45:44,075 --> 00:45:45,507
He just hangs out at my place
821
00:45:45,576 --> 00:45:47,609
'cause there's more garbage there
than any place else.
822
00:45:47,678 --> 00:45:50,445
He's a scavenger. He'll eat anything.
He's a beach dog, really.
823
00:45:50,514 --> 00:45:51,831
Go away, beach dog.
824
00:45:53,801 --> 00:45:56,535
Uh, do you have a cell
for beginners?
825
00:46:00,191 --> 00:46:03,593
Boogie boy.
Come on, bunk in here.
826
00:46:05,230 --> 00:46:07,764
- Moondoggie.
- Yeah.
827
00:46:09,834 --> 00:46:11,033
Who wants gum?
828
00:46:13,620 --> 00:46:15,921
Please leave your message
after the beep.
829
00:46:15,990 --> 00:46:18,824
Robin, it's your pal, Shoop.
830
00:46:18,893 --> 00:46:21,761
I can't leave my number
'cause I'm downtown in jail.
831
00:46:21,829 --> 00:46:23,662
Jail?
What, you're surprised?
832
00:46:23,731 --> 00:46:25,297
I got arrested
in my swim trunks,
833
00:46:25,366 --> 00:46:27,199
so I need 50 bucks
and a pair of shoes.
834
00:46:27,268 --> 00:46:28,400
It's a long story.
835
00:46:28,469 --> 00:46:30,352
Listen, Robin, uh,
please don't mention this
836
00:46:30,421 --> 00:46:32,088
to that bite-in-the-ass Gills.
837
00:46:32,157 --> 00:46:34,673
You're an angel. Dinner, dancing, Paris,
you name it...
838
00:46:34,742 --> 00:46:36,258
Hello, Mr. Shoop.
839
00:46:36,327 --> 00:46:39,545
Who is this?
It's the bite-in-the-ass.
840
00:46:39,613 --> 00:46:43,782
When I say "bite-in-the-ass,"
I mean that in the nicest possible way.
841
00:46:44,585 --> 00:46:46,135
Can I talk to Robin, please?
842
00:46:46,204 --> 00:46:48,754
I'm afraid Robin and I
are on our way out of town.
843
00:46:50,341 --> 00:46:52,274
But don't worry,
we'll be right over.
844
00:46:53,844 --> 00:46:56,162
He's still
a human being, Phillip.
845
00:46:56,230 --> 00:46:57,913
Robin, we have a very long
drive ahead of us.
846
00:46:57,982 --> 00:47:00,115
If we go downtown now,
we'll be stuck in all that traffic.
847
00:47:00,184 --> 00:47:01,800
And that's okay with me,
848
00:47:01,869 --> 00:47:03,869
because then we'll be helping
our good friend, Mr. Shoop,
849
00:47:03,938 --> 00:47:06,321
and you won't think
I'm a shit. Right?
850
00:47:09,377 --> 00:47:11,460
Am I in really big trouble?
851
00:47:11,529 --> 00:47:14,463
A teacher arrested for contributing to
the delinquency of minors?
852
00:47:14,532 --> 00:47:16,766
You're not a hero.
853
00:47:16,834 --> 00:47:18,834
What is this?
854
00:47:18,903 --> 00:47:21,103
I made a new friend.
855
00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:22,671
Mr. Shoop, I do hope
856
00:47:22,740 --> 00:47:24,673
that we can get you out
of this ugly, little mess.
857
00:47:24,742 --> 00:47:26,141
And it is ugly.
858
00:47:26,210 --> 00:47:28,077
You know, Mr. Shoop's
been making a lot of progress
859
00:47:28,145 --> 00:47:29,544
in his class, Phillip.
860
00:47:29,613 --> 00:47:31,446
It's true.
I've been handin' out assignments
861
00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:33,015
and the kids turn them in
and everything.
862
00:47:33,084 --> 00:47:34,149
It's almost
like school in there.
863
00:47:34,218 --> 00:47:36,401
I've heard. And I'm proud.
864
00:47:36,470 --> 00:47:39,305
Confirms all my instincts
about him. He's my boy.
865
00:47:40,859 --> 00:47:42,774
Robin, let's get out of here.
866
00:47:44,262 --> 00:47:46,712
We're on our way
to Wine Country.
867
00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:49,481
You kids, uh, have fun.
868
00:48:01,578 --> 00:48:03,628
See those waves,
Wondermutt?
869
00:48:04,548 --> 00:48:06,799
They're from Hawaii.
870
00:48:06,867 --> 00:48:08,550
Kim's in Hawaii.
871
00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:12,888
Robin's in the Wine Country.
872
00:48:15,526 --> 00:48:18,360
You know what we need?
I mean, besides bread.
873
00:48:20,164 --> 00:48:25,017
We need a woman who will appreciate
what we have to offer.
874
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:27,853
A woman of culture,
875
00:48:29,523 --> 00:48:30,773
intellect.
876
00:48:31,726 --> 00:48:34,176
Shake those buns, baby!
877
00:48:39,384 --> 00:48:41,300
Come on, bring those buns
over here.
878
00:48:41,369 --> 00:48:44,337
Mama's got
some software for you, baby.
879
00:48:47,508 --> 00:48:51,043
Excuse me.
I'm with Playgirl magazine.
880
00:48:51,112 --> 00:48:53,278
Survey me later, will you?
I'm trying to concentrate.
881
00:48:53,347 --> 00:48:56,065
Come on, baby.
Thanks for your time.
882
00:49:01,005 --> 00:49:02,738
Shoot them buns over here.
883
00:49:10,865 --> 00:49:12,098
Hey!
884
00:49:16,203 --> 00:49:18,687
Hey! Hey, cowboy!
Don't I know you?
885
00:49:18,756 --> 00:49:21,606
Hey, back off, hair bag.
This is ladies' night.
886
00:49:24,662 --> 00:49:26,978
I love him,
I love him, I love him.
887
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,213
Larry!
888
00:49:29,350 --> 00:49:31,917
Mr. Shoop.
What are you doing here?
889
00:49:31,985 --> 00:49:34,986
What am I doin' here?
You do this every night?
890
00:49:35,055 --> 00:49:37,122
Well, we have Mondays off.
891
00:49:37,191 --> 00:49:38,824
Listen, man,
you can't tell anybody, okay?
892
00:49:38,892 --> 00:49:40,292
They think I'm 21.
893
00:49:40,361 --> 00:49:45,130
You were fabulous.
This is from both of us.
894
00:49:45,199 --> 00:49:47,433
I'm in the wrong business.
Yeah, but about school, Larry.
895
00:49:47,501 --> 00:49:49,768
I mean, I think if you could sneak in
a couple hours' sleep,
896
00:49:49,837 --> 00:49:51,253
you'd catch up
with the rest of the class.
897
00:49:51,322 --> 00:49:53,806
Mr. Shoop, man,
think about what you're sayin'.
898
00:49:53,875 --> 00:49:58,561
I mean, if you could be 17 again,
only you knew then what you know now.
899
00:49:58,629 --> 00:50:00,729
Yeah.
Well, I know.
900
00:50:04,118 --> 00:50:05,617
I hate that kid.
901
00:50:06,821 --> 00:50:12,157
"Who we admire most
in the world and why.
902
00:50:12,225 --> 00:50:15,627
"The person we admire most in
the world is makeup artist
903
00:50:15,696 --> 00:50:17,663
"and creature creator
Rick Baker."
904
00:50:17,731 --> 00:50:20,699
"His wonderfully gruesome
slime bladders and slobber tubes
905
00:50:20,768 --> 00:50:25,337
"in American Werewolf in London
won him a richly deserved Oscar.
906
00:50:25,405 --> 00:50:30,476
"That is why we admire makeup
artist and creature creator Rick Baker
907
00:50:30,545 --> 00:50:33,245
"very, very, very,
very, very, very..."
908
00:50:33,314 --> 00:50:35,481
"Very, very, very,
very, very..."
909
00:50:35,550 --> 00:50:39,301
"Very, very, very, very, very,
very, very, very, very, very...
910
00:50:39,369 --> 00:50:42,637
"Very, very, very,
very, very much."
911
00:50:42,706 --> 00:50:46,007
It's 100 words on the nose.
You can count if you want.
912
00:50:46,076 --> 00:50:48,994
"It is not easy to pick
the person I admire most.
913
00:50:49,063 --> 00:50:51,296
"I admire people
for different reasons.
914
00:50:51,365 --> 00:50:52,797
"The way they surf
915
00:50:52,866 --> 00:50:56,318
"or teach English from the heart
or help the homeless.
916
00:50:56,387 --> 00:50:59,538
"To pick one person
is so unfair to everyone else.
917
00:50:59,607 --> 00:51:01,874
"Isn't there enough pain
in the world?"
918
00:51:01,943 --> 00:51:04,025
"Since there's no one
I admire most,
919
00:51:04,094 --> 00:51:06,295
this is about a person
I admire least,
920
00:51:06,364 --> 00:51:08,830
"my ex-boyfriend, Andre.
921
00:51:08,899 --> 00:51:11,433
"If he ever tells you he broke up
with me first, he's a lyin' dog.
922
00:51:11,502 --> 00:51:14,102
"'Cause I definitely told him
to get out of my face first.
923
00:51:14,171 --> 00:51:17,189
"You know how I could tell when he's lying?
His lips move."
924
00:51:17,257 --> 00:51:18,790
I'm serious.
925
00:51:18,860 --> 00:51:20,993
He's so in love with himself,
he ought to be datin' a mirror.
926
00:51:21,062 --> 00:51:23,062
The way he walks around in
them skin-tight leather pants
927
00:51:23,130 --> 00:51:25,231
thinkin' he's Rick James'
little brother or somethin'.
928
00:51:25,299 --> 00:51:27,199
Give the world a break.
929
00:51:27,268 --> 00:51:29,902
Denise, can I have your paper?
Uh, no.
930
00:51:31,855 --> 00:51:34,890
No?
- Well, I had to memorize my essay
931
00:51:34,958 --> 00:51:36,325
due to the fact
that I was mugged
932
00:51:36,394 --> 00:51:39,128
by a gang lookin' for money
and homework.
933
00:51:39,813 --> 00:51:41,079
That happens.
934
00:51:43,501 --> 00:51:48,104
Okay, gang, mark your calendars.
Field trip next Monday.
935
00:51:48,172 --> 00:51:51,039
Where are we going,
cockfights?
936
00:51:51,109 --> 00:51:53,242
Courthouse.
937
00:51:53,311 --> 00:51:56,945
Your teacher was arrested
for giving vodka to some kids.
938
00:51:59,584 --> 00:52:01,951
You and Dave
won't want to miss it.
939
00:52:02,019 --> 00:52:03,952
You went to jail for us?
940
00:52:04,021 --> 00:52:05,437
On roller skates.
941
00:52:05,505 --> 00:52:07,289
Thanks, man.
942
00:52:07,357 --> 00:52:08,590
Mmm-hmm.
943
00:52:27,511 --> 00:52:28,560
Pam?
944
00:52:29,530 --> 00:52:30,679
Hi.
945
00:52:33,951 --> 00:52:35,484
What are you doin' here?
946
00:52:35,553 --> 00:52:38,721
Remember I said I'd tell you my wish
when the time was right?
947
00:52:38,789 --> 00:52:40,422
It's right.
948
00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:42,474
Your wish
is to move in with me?
949
00:52:42,543 --> 00:52:44,193
I'm a great cook.
950
00:52:45,312 --> 00:52:46,528
Uh-huh.
951
00:52:49,583 --> 00:52:50,832
I won't get in your way.
952
00:52:50,901 --> 00:52:52,217
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
953
00:52:52,285 --> 00:52:54,052
You know we connect.
954
00:52:55,288 --> 00:52:58,389
Pam, look,
my place is very small.
955
00:52:58,458 --> 00:52:59,958
It's perfect.
956
00:53:00,027 --> 00:53:03,729
Look, Tommy, that's my brother,
he had another kid.
957
00:53:03,797 --> 00:53:05,764
And Angela, she's his wife,
958
00:53:05,833 --> 00:53:08,000
she wants to move the twins
back into Gail's room
959
00:53:08,068 --> 00:53:10,469
and then put Sally in the den,
which means I lose the couch.
960
00:53:10,538 --> 00:53:12,571
Yeah, well, my couch
is real barbecued.
961
00:53:12,639 --> 00:53:14,590
The floor is fine.
962
00:53:14,658 --> 00:53:17,426
Mr. Shoop,
everybody else got their wish.
963
00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:25,033
Okay, Pam.
964
00:53:26,837 --> 00:53:28,970
If I let you stay here,
965
00:53:29,039 --> 00:53:32,207
it's only temporary until you find
another place, okay?
966
00:53:34,595 --> 00:53:35,961
I can stay.
967
00:53:36,764 --> 00:53:39,464
Who are you talking to?
968
00:53:39,533 --> 00:53:42,935
This is Tommy and Angela
and Gail and Sally and Sly
969
00:53:43,003 --> 00:53:46,505
and the twins, Chuck and Bob,
and Tommy, Jr.
970
00:53:46,573 --> 00:53:47,972
Uh, this is Mr. Shoop.
971
00:53:48,041 --> 00:53:50,092
How you doin'?
Pleased to meet you.
972
00:53:53,748 --> 00:53:55,480
She screams so well.
973
00:53:57,885 --> 00:53:59,785
Oh, don't be a wuss.
974
00:54:00,587 --> 00:54:02,404
Shut up!
975
00:54:02,472 --> 00:54:04,389
Run, run.
976
00:54:04,458 --> 00:54:06,892
Larry! Larry, wake up,
you're missing this.
977
00:54:06,961 --> 00:54:09,862
Larry's not missin' a thing.
Let him sleep.
978
00:54:10,865 --> 00:54:12,047
There he is.
979
00:54:12,116 --> 00:54:14,616
Leatherface. Leatherface.
Leatherface.
980
00:54:14,685 --> 00:54:16,868
Oh, no!
981
00:54:18,405 --> 00:54:21,906
That's not a real person. It's a stuntman.
982
00:54:21,975 --> 00:54:23,592
Okay, now, this.
983
00:54:23,661 --> 00:54:27,363
This right here isn't gonna bother him
because he's insane, okay?
984
00:54:33,754 --> 00:54:35,754
Good Lord.
985
00:54:35,823 --> 00:54:37,906
- What are you watching?
- Do the dance for me, baby.
986
00:54:37,974 --> 00:54:40,692
A new film from the district,
Safe Use of Power Tools.
987
00:54:40,761 --> 00:54:42,511
Special delivery.
988
00:54:42,580 --> 00:54:43,812
I don't want to know
what this is, do I?
989
00:54:43,881 --> 00:54:45,547
No, probably not.
990
00:54:46,284 --> 00:54:48,417
Come on.
991
00:54:48,486 --> 00:54:50,486
What a finish,
ladies and gentlemen.
992
00:54:50,554 --> 00:54:51,587
That was great.
993
00:54:51,656 --> 00:54:53,088
What did you think
of that, Anna-Maria?
994
00:54:53,157 --> 00:54:54,990
God, it was really American.
995
00:54:55,058 --> 00:54:56,224
American, yes.
996
00:54:56,293 --> 00:54:58,994
It's an American masterpiece.
997
00:54:59,063 --> 00:55:01,496
It's...
Talk about gutsy endings.
998
00:55:01,565 --> 00:55:03,431
The girl, the girl gets away
999
00:55:03,500 --> 00:55:05,600
and our hero, Leatherface,
he chainsaws his own legs.
1000
00:55:05,669 --> 00:55:08,003
Two thumbs up.
Make that four for gore.
1001
00:55:08,071 --> 00:55:10,455
Listen up,
I wanna read you somethin'.
1002
00:55:10,524 --> 00:55:13,675
"Dear Mr. Francis Gremp,
thank you for informing us
1003
00:55:13,743 --> 00:55:16,945
"of your problem with our
Cool Dude sunglasses."
1004
00:55:17,014 --> 00:55:18,647
It worked.
1005
00:55:18,716 --> 00:55:21,349
"Please accept this assortment of
Cool Dudes with our compliments."
1006
00:55:21,418 --> 00:55:24,720
All right, it's Christmas time.
Free glasses.
1007
00:55:24,772 --> 00:55:26,255
- Are these free?
- Yes.
1008
00:55:26,323 --> 00:55:28,273
"We know you'll find them well-constructed
1009
00:55:28,342 --> 00:55:32,627
"and we hope your organization will see
no need to proceed with the boycott.
1010
00:55:32,697 --> 00:55:36,615
"Sincerely, Wayne Appleton,
President, Cool Dude, Inc."
1011
00:55:36,684 --> 00:55:38,617
All right,
the power of the pen.
1012
00:55:38,685 --> 00:55:40,736
Hey, thanks, Chainsaw.
1013
00:55:40,804 --> 00:55:44,873
Hey, Eakian. Eakian. Man, you think you
can help me with my letter?
1014
00:55:44,942 --> 00:55:46,374
You know,
make it sound official?
1015
00:55:46,443 --> 00:55:47,943
Sure, Denise.
1016
00:55:49,647 --> 00:55:51,613
You wanna give it to me?
1017
00:55:58,355 --> 00:55:59,771
Okay, tonight, for homework,
1018
00:55:59,840 --> 00:56:02,757
write a review of
Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
1019
00:56:04,461 --> 00:56:06,228
Uh, Rhonda?
1020
00:56:08,632 --> 00:56:10,565
Uh, if you're not doing anything
tomorrow night,
1021
00:56:10,634 --> 00:56:13,134
I thought maybe
we could do somethin'.
1022
00:56:13,203 --> 00:56:16,088
Oh, I have a Lamaze class
tomorrow night.
1023
00:56:16,157 --> 00:56:18,690
Do you wanna go with me?
1024
00:56:18,759 --> 00:56:20,458
What about Mr. Shoop?
1025
00:56:20,527 --> 00:56:21,927
Oh, he won't care.
1026
00:56:21,996 --> 00:56:24,830
I mean, if you don't mind
bein' my coach.
1027
00:56:24,898 --> 00:56:26,431
I wouldn't mind at all.
1028
00:56:26,500 --> 00:56:27,782
Great.
1029
00:56:28,519 --> 00:56:29,818
Great.
1030
00:56:31,738 --> 00:56:33,104
See you, Eak.
1031
00:56:34,475 --> 00:56:36,007
Mr. Shoop.
1032
00:56:38,179 --> 00:56:39,844
You should see this,
1033
00:56:39,913 --> 00:56:42,347
but you can't let Denise know
I showed you.
1034
00:56:42,416 --> 00:56:44,983
Okay?
Okay.
1035
00:56:53,727 --> 00:56:57,396
Shoop, this girl's dyslexic.
1036
00:56:58,849 --> 00:57:00,916
What are you talkin' about?
That's not in her file.
1037
00:57:00,985 --> 00:57:03,835
This is serious.
You gotta get her some help.
1038
00:57:05,205 --> 00:57:07,989
How could she get this far
without anybody findin' out?
1039
00:57:08,058 --> 00:57:10,292
She slipped
through the system.
1040
00:57:10,344 --> 00:57:12,544
What happens when she gets
out in the real world?
1041
00:57:12,612 --> 00:57:14,295
Wait a minute!
1042
00:57:14,364 --> 00:57:17,482
Is this the same guy that took his
English class to the petting zoo?
1043
00:57:17,550 --> 00:57:19,267
How'd you get
those kids to work?
1044
00:57:19,336 --> 00:57:20,468
Bribed 'em.
1045
00:57:23,073 --> 00:57:25,807
What would it take to get you to
have dinner with me tonight?
1046
00:57:25,876 --> 00:57:28,060
That would be very expensive.
1047
00:57:33,967 --> 00:57:35,600
I'm having dinner
with Gills.
1048
00:57:35,669 --> 00:57:37,735
Big Phil again, huh?
1049
00:57:37,804 --> 00:57:40,105
Come on, Robin, be honest.
Isn't he a bite-in-the-ass?
1050
00:57:40,174 --> 00:57:43,475
No, he's not a bite-in-the-ass.
He happens to be very
1051
00:57:47,330 --> 00:57:48,679
articulate,
1052
00:57:49,716 --> 00:57:51,016
cultured,
1053
00:57:51,851 --> 00:57:54,670
extraordinarily tidy.
1054
00:57:54,738 --> 00:57:57,606
Tall, dark and tidy.
That's a magic combination.
1055
00:57:59,443 --> 00:58:00,525
You're not in love with him,
are you?
1056
00:58:00,594 --> 00:58:01,710
None of your business.
1057
00:58:01,778 --> 00:58:03,361
Sure, it is.
No, it isn't.
1058
00:58:03,430 --> 00:58:05,496
Yes, it is. You tell me you love him,
I'll stop askin' you out.
1059
00:58:05,565 --> 00:58:08,833
How am I gonna tell you I love him
when it's all so new?
1060
00:58:08,902 --> 00:58:12,938
I knew it. See, Robin,
he is not the guy for you.
1061
00:58:13,006 --> 00:58:16,507
You need an intelligent,
sensitive man who can skate.
1062
00:58:16,576 --> 00:58:17,992
Do you know such a guy?
1063
00:58:18,061 --> 00:58:21,179
Oh, they're hard to find.
1064
00:58:21,248 --> 00:58:23,714
But now that I know what you're
lookin' for, I'll keep my eye out.
1065
00:58:23,783 --> 00:58:25,767
Would you?
1066
00:58:25,835 --> 00:58:28,053
Lookin' good, Denise.
Good luck.
1067
00:58:28,121 --> 00:58:31,823
Sir, you are really
gonna earn your money today.
1068
00:58:37,631 --> 00:58:40,181
Francis Gremp?
Call me Chainsaw.
1069
00:58:40,250 --> 00:58:43,552
You're up next.
Can you hold on a sec?
1070
00:58:43,620 --> 00:58:47,723
Dad's late. He's so irresponsible.
I said, "Dad, 3:00 sharp."
1071
00:58:47,791 --> 00:58:51,393
But, no, it's just in one ear,
out the other.
1072
00:58:51,462 --> 00:58:53,278
I need your car.
1073
00:58:53,347 --> 00:58:54,830
You want to use my car?
1074
00:58:54,899 --> 00:58:56,832
I'm under adult supervision.
1075
00:59:00,820 --> 00:59:02,987
Chainsaw, you take your test
1076
00:59:03,056 --> 00:59:07,058
and you bring my car
right back here to me.
1077
00:59:07,127 --> 00:59:10,028
You make me proud to be an American.
Dave, kiss this man.
1078
00:59:10,097 --> 00:59:11,329
You, come with me.
1079
00:59:11,398 --> 00:59:13,931
No, no, you stay there.
I'll bring the car to you.
1080
00:59:14,001 --> 00:59:17,268
Can you back this up? I'm taking a test.
All right? Just move all the way back.
1081
00:59:24,361 --> 00:59:26,961
What? What'd I do?
- Don't worry about me.
1082
00:59:27,030 --> 00:59:29,948
See those cars on the right?
Go ahead and park in between them.
1083
00:59:30,017 --> 00:59:32,767
What do you mean?
You mean parallel park?
1084
00:59:32,836 --> 00:59:35,837
Something wrong?
No, nothin'.
1085
00:59:52,122 --> 00:59:53,538
Yeah.
1086
00:59:55,091 --> 00:59:57,442
We going on the freeway?
1087
00:59:57,510 --> 00:59:59,377
I think we'll just stay
in the neighborhood.
1088
01:00:04,401 --> 01:00:06,784
Mr. Gremp, why are you driving
with only one hand?
1089
01:00:06,853 --> 01:00:11,356
Oh, this hand's gotta be free
to put around the babes.
1090
01:00:11,424 --> 01:00:13,675
What, are you markin' me off
just 'cause I'm doin' that?
1091
01:00:13,727 --> 01:00:16,028
Watch the dip!
That dip?
1092
01:00:17,414 --> 01:00:20,165
Hey, you crazy?
1093
01:00:20,234 --> 01:00:23,585
Don't you ever, ever yell at the driver!
Do you hear me?
1094
01:00:23,654 --> 01:00:26,354
Where are you going?
Back. The test is over.
1095
01:00:26,422 --> 01:00:27,738
No way!
1096
01:00:29,509 --> 01:00:31,075
That was your fault.
1097
01:00:31,144 --> 01:00:33,711
This is bullshit. Come on.
1098
01:00:33,780 --> 01:00:37,249
I stayed sober for this.
You can't do this.
1099
01:00:37,317 --> 01:00:40,385
Come back, you dumb dildo.
Wait, no, you're not a dildo.
1100
01:00:40,453 --> 01:00:41,619
I was joking.
That was a joke.
1101
01:00:41,688 --> 01:00:44,389
Come on, be cool.
One more chance?
1102
01:00:44,992 --> 01:00:46,358
Wait.
1103
01:00:47,661 --> 01:00:49,427
You lost points
for driving too slow
1104
01:00:49,496 --> 01:00:52,029
and not accepting
the right of way.
1105
01:00:52,098 --> 01:00:54,432
Failed again.
70 is passing.
1106
01:00:55,201 --> 01:00:56,651
72.
1107
01:00:57,921 --> 01:01:00,288
I passed?
You passed.
1108
01:01:00,357 --> 01:01:03,324
I passed!
Oh, I passed! I passed!
1109
01:01:04,010 --> 01:01:05,643
Shoop, I passed!
1110
01:01:06,613 --> 01:01:08,012
I passed!
1111
01:01:09,649 --> 01:01:11,649
I passed! Oh, God,
I passed! Thanks!
1112
01:01:11,718 --> 01:01:13,585
I'm proud of you.
Congratulations, Denise.
1113
01:01:13,653 --> 01:01:15,587
Oh, man, I couldn't have done it
without you, really.
1114
01:01:15,655 --> 01:01:17,271
Now, come on.
You drove the car.
1115
01:01:17,340 --> 01:01:18,740
Look, I owe you one,
all right?
1116
01:01:18,809 --> 01:01:21,493
Yeah?
Yeah.
1117
01:01:21,561 --> 01:01:24,813
Okay. Tell you somethin'
you can do for me.
1118
01:01:24,882 --> 01:01:26,531
What?
- Get some help with your reading.
1119
01:01:26,600 --> 01:01:28,133
Man.
- Listen, Denise.
1120
01:01:28,201 --> 01:01:31,353
What you have is a learning
disorder called dyslexia.
1121
01:01:31,422 --> 01:01:32,654
You need to
re-train your brain
1122
01:01:32,722 --> 01:01:34,439
to deal with information
in a new way.
1123
01:01:34,508 --> 01:01:36,291
There's a specialist
who'll help you after school.
1124
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:37,959
Look, I'm doin' all right.
Yeah, you are.
1125
01:01:38,028 --> 01:01:41,045
But you could be doin'
so much better.
1126
01:01:41,114 --> 01:01:43,515
But that's up to you.
1127
01:01:43,583 --> 01:01:45,784
Hey.
1128
01:01:45,852 --> 01:01:48,152
- Think about it, okay?
- Okay, free film.
1129
01:01:48,221 --> 01:01:51,740
Free developing.
Come on, what more could you want?
1130
01:01:51,808 --> 01:01:53,374
Here.
1131
01:01:53,443 --> 01:01:54,792
Look, my dad's a butcher.
1132
01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:58,146
You like veal cutlets
from Minnesota? Milk-fed.
1133
01:02:16,249 --> 01:02:18,382
Hi, honey.
How was your day?
1134
01:02:19,853 --> 01:02:21,052
Hectic.
1135
01:02:22,055 --> 01:02:23,988
Boy, something smells good.
1136
01:02:24,057 --> 01:02:25,756
Mmm. The manicotti.
1137
01:02:25,826 --> 01:02:28,893
Perfect timing. Why don't you start
on the cheese and crackers?
1138
01:02:31,298 --> 01:02:33,164
Yeah. It's open.
1139
01:02:33,233 --> 01:02:35,366
Hi.
Hey.
1140
01:02:35,435 --> 01:02:38,486
I just brought this
Ray Bradbury book.
1141
01:02:38,555 --> 01:02:40,071
Maybe I should
come back later.
1142
01:02:40,140 --> 01:02:41,256
Why?
1143
01:02:43,176 --> 01:02:45,193
Hi, Miss Bishop.
Hi.
1144
01:02:46,629 --> 01:02:50,415
Oh, um, Robin, Pam House,
one of my students.
1145
01:02:50,484 --> 01:02:52,867
Pam, Robin Bishop.
1146
01:02:52,919 --> 01:02:54,836
Hi.
Hi, Pam.
1147
01:02:57,540 --> 01:02:59,540
Freddy, I really
didn't make enough for three.
1148
01:02:59,609 --> 01:03:01,542
If you're planning on
inviting company for dinner,
1149
01:03:01,611 --> 01:03:03,912
I wish you'd call and let me know.
- No, he wasn't.
1150
01:03:03,981 --> 01:03:06,347
Actually, I just I stopped by
to help him with this lesson.
1151
01:03:06,416 --> 01:03:07,682
But we can do that
in the morning.
1152
01:03:07,734 --> 01:03:09,434
Oh, morning's much better.
1153
01:03:09,502 --> 01:03:11,035
I'll make French toast
for the three of us.
1154
01:03:11,104 --> 01:03:12,687
Do you like French toast?
1155
01:03:12,756 --> 01:03:14,456
I'll bet she makes
great French toast.
1156
01:03:14,524 --> 01:03:16,708
I actually meant
morning at school.
1157
01:03:16,777 --> 01:03:17,775
Oh, fine.
1158
01:03:17,844 --> 01:03:19,394
It was nice to meet you, Pam.
1159
01:03:19,463 --> 01:03:20,728
You, too.
1160
01:03:27,004 --> 01:03:28,753
Robin?
1161
01:03:28,821 --> 01:03:31,056
I know this
is none of my business,
1162
01:03:31,124 --> 01:03:33,274
but what the hell
is goin' on in there?
1163
01:03:33,343 --> 01:03:36,344
There's nothin' going on in there.
Remember those bribes?
1164
01:03:36,412 --> 01:03:38,412
Well, Pam needed
a place to stay.
1165
01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:39,714
How long has she been here?
1166
01:03:39,783 --> 01:03:42,267
A couple of days.
1167
01:03:42,335 --> 01:03:45,319
Look, my laundry's never smelled so good.
Here, take a whiff.
1168
01:03:45,388 --> 01:03:47,405
I'm sure it's April Fresh.
1169
01:03:48,341 --> 01:03:50,708
I just hope having a maid
1170
01:03:50,777 --> 01:03:54,428
is worth the damage you could do
to that young girl.
1171
01:03:54,497 --> 01:03:56,197
See you tomorrow.
1172
01:04:03,690 --> 01:04:05,723
All ready.
Great.
1173
01:04:06,493 --> 01:04:08,660
Uh, French or Italian?
1174
01:04:08,728 --> 01:04:10,094
Uh, French.
1175
01:04:11,331 --> 01:04:12,697
I knew it.
1176
01:04:15,001 --> 01:04:17,234
Pam, we gotta talk.
1177
01:04:18,004 --> 01:04:20,221
Sure. What's up?
1178
01:04:20,290 --> 01:04:22,573
I think you are a great girl.
1179
01:04:22,642 --> 01:04:24,893
And I think
you're a great guy.
1180
01:04:26,580 --> 01:04:28,263
God, this is hard.
1181
01:04:28,332 --> 01:04:31,066
Freddy, go ahead.
You can tell me anything.
1182
01:04:33,920 --> 01:04:37,872
Okay. You know how,
when you're on your board,
1183
01:04:37,941 --> 01:04:41,843
and you see the perfect wave
rollin' in and you think you got it?
1184
01:04:41,911 --> 01:04:44,896
Only, somethin' happens
and you don't... don't get it.
1185
01:04:44,965 --> 01:04:47,699
I mean, the key
to the whole thing is timing.
1186
01:04:47,768 --> 01:04:50,434
If you're even a little out of sync,
you're grim.
1187
01:04:50,503 --> 01:04:53,371
You've blown the barrel,
you're seaweed.
1188
01:04:53,439 --> 01:04:55,607
But then you look outside
1189
01:04:55,675 --> 01:04:58,826
and you see an even more perfect
wave than the first perfect wave
1190
01:04:58,895 --> 01:05:01,446
and that's the one you catch.
1191
01:05:01,514 --> 01:05:02,514
Do you know what I mean?
1192
01:05:02,582 --> 01:05:04,833
Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
1193
01:05:05,535 --> 01:05:07,401
Surfing metaphors.
1194
01:05:07,470 --> 01:05:09,204
You're the perfect wave
and I'm seaweed
1195
01:05:09,272 --> 01:05:11,122
and if you want me out of
your house, just say it.
1196
01:05:11,190 --> 01:05:13,007
No, no, I'm not
the perfect wave.
1197
01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:15,143
And it's not just that
I want you out of my house.
1198
01:05:15,212 --> 01:05:18,229
No, you want
me out of your life.
1199
01:05:18,298 --> 01:05:19,930
Pam, look, I'm your teacher.
1200
01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:21,949
No.
1201
01:05:22,018 --> 01:05:26,254
Look, any time one person lets
himself care deeply about another person,
1202
01:05:26,323 --> 01:05:29,657
that person runs the risk
of being rejected and destroyed.
1203
01:05:29,726 --> 01:05:30,808
I'll go get my things.
1204
01:05:30,877 --> 01:05:32,744
No, wait a minute.
Look, you cooked dinner.
1205
01:05:32,812 --> 01:05:36,030
It looks beautiful.
Let's sit down, eat.
1206
01:05:36,099 --> 01:05:37,665
It's just food.
1207
01:05:44,324 --> 01:05:47,057
Okay. I'm gonna
collect your book reports.
1208
01:05:47,126 --> 01:05:49,461
Then we are
on our way to court.
1209
01:05:49,529 --> 01:05:51,045
Homework, Pam?
1210
01:05:53,383 --> 01:05:55,784
You expect me
to relate to the written word
1211
01:05:55,852 --> 01:05:58,486
after the hell
you put me through?
1212
01:05:58,554 --> 01:06:01,339
Talk about shallow.
I've stepped in deeper puddles.
1213
01:06:01,408 --> 01:06:02,991
You're excused.
1214
01:06:06,196 --> 01:06:08,496
Mr. Shoop,
don't you want mine?
1215
01:06:09,749 --> 01:06:13,301
Larry, you're awake,
with homework.
1216
01:06:13,370 --> 01:06:14,418
What's wrong with you?
1217
01:06:14,504 --> 01:06:16,337
I got fired.
They found out my real age.
1218
01:06:16,406 --> 01:06:17,488
Hey, I didn't say a word.
1219
01:06:17,557 --> 01:06:19,757
No, it's all right.
My mom came to a show.
1220
01:06:19,826 --> 01:06:22,493
Your mother?
- It was a nightmare.
1221
01:06:22,562 --> 01:06:26,064
I mean, before she knew who I was,
she put 5 bucks in my G-string.
1222
01:06:26,132 --> 01:06:29,366
And then my Aunt Edna,
she kisses me.
1223
01:06:29,435 --> 01:06:32,219
With tongue.
And rips off my mask.
1224
01:06:32,288 --> 01:06:34,705
And Mom freaked out.
1225
01:06:34,774 --> 01:06:37,341
She made me put on her coat.
1226
01:06:37,411 --> 01:06:39,193
I'm sorry.
- You're sorry?
1227
01:06:39,262 --> 01:06:40,895
I'm at my sexual peak.
1228
01:06:40,964 --> 01:06:44,532
Once a guy hits 18,
it's all downhill.
1229
01:06:45,485 --> 01:06:47,702
But it's a lovely ride.
1230
01:06:47,771 --> 01:06:50,488
Mr. Shoop, why did you tell
the arresting officers
1231
01:06:50,557 --> 01:06:52,390
that the vodka found
in the possession
1232
01:06:52,459 --> 01:06:56,344
of Mr. Gremp and Mr. Frazier
belonged to you?
1233
01:06:56,412 --> 01:06:59,564
Your Honor, I was trying to keep a
couple of my students out of trouble.
1234
01:06:59,633 --> 01:07:02,583
David and Francis
have enough problems as it is.
1235
01:07:02,652 --> 01:07:04,001
It's true, Your Honor.
1236
01:07:04,070 --> 01:07:05,837
Our lives are a mess.
1237
01:07:06,589 --> 01:07:08,689
Guys, don't help.
1238
01:07:08,758 --> 01:07:12,860
Where did you young men
obtain the vodka in question?
1239
01:07:12,929 --> 01:07:14,462
From Murray.
Who's Murray?
1240
01:07:14,530 --> 01:07:17,782
You know Murray.
Everybody knows Murray.
1241
01:07:17,850 --> 01:07:20,101
From Murray's Liquor.
1242
01:07:20,169 --> 01:07:22,604
Didn't this Murray
ask to see proof of age?
1243
01:07:22,672 --> 01:07:24,405
Well, I come off
pretty mature.
1244
01:07:24,458 --> 01:07:26,607
Did you show him
proof of age or not?
1245
01:07:26,659 --> 01:07:28,225
Yeah, I guess I did.
1246
01:07:28,294 --> 01:07:30,311
May I see it, please?
1247
01:07:30,379 --> 01:07:31,513
Uh, I'd rather you didn't.
1248
01:07:31,581 --> 01:07:33,197
I'd rather I did.
1249
01:07:41,174 --> 01:07:44,258
You were a black Marine
in 1968?
1250
01:07:45,962 --> 01:07:47,712
Vietnam.
1251
01:07:47,780 --> 01:07:50,131
A war puts a man through
many, many changes.
1252
01:07:50,200 --> 01:07:52,850
Young man, the possession
of false identification
1253
01:07:52,919 --> 01:07:56,153
and of alcohol by a minor
are serious crimes.
1254
01:07:56,222 --> 01:07:57,906
You've just confessed
to both of them.
1255
01:07:57,974 --> 01:07:59,607
I didn't mean to.
1256
01:07:59,676 --> 01:08:02,309
However, since the arresting officers
let you off with a warning,
1257
01:08:02,378 --> 01:08:04,445
I'll probably do the same.
1258
01:08:05,448 --> 01:08:06,881
Is this guy bitchin' or what?
1259
01:08:06,950 --> 01:08:08,533
Now, Mr. Shoop...
1260
01:08:08,602 --> 01:08:09,984
Your Honor?
1261
01:08:11,237 --> 01:08:13,103
My name is
Robin Elizabeth Bishop
1262
01:08:13,173 --> 01:08:16,374
and I'm also on the faculty
with the defendant.
1263
01:08:16,442 --> 01:08:20,611
I submit that this man
went to jail for his students.
1264
01:08:20,680 --> 01:08:24,448
Very few teachers ever exhibit
that degree of dedication.
1265
01:08:24,517 --> 01:08:26,567
Therefore, Your Honor,
I move that...
1266
01:08:26,636 --> 01:08:29,938
Don't move, Miss Bishop.
You're out of order.
1267
01:08:30,006 --> 01:08:31,689
And you're also correct.
1268
01:08:31,757 --> 01:08:34,425
Mr. Shoop, these charges
will be dropped. Case dismissed.
1269
01:08:34,494 --> 01:08:36,710
All right!
1270
01:08:36,779 --> 01:08:39,180
All right! That's so...
1271
01:08:42,202 --> 01:08:44,969
Shoop! Let me
tell you something.
1272
01:08:45,038 --> 01:08:47,205
The judge may have bought
that dedicated teacher crap,
1273
01:08:47,274 --> 01:08:48,806
but the fact remains
that you covered up,
1274
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:50,308
thereby condoning
student drinking.
1275
01:08:50,377 --> 01:08:53,244
I am filing a report
for Kelban with the entire story.
1276
01:08:53,313 --> 01:08:55,813
Face it. Those kid's test scores
aren't gonna save you,
1277
01:08:55,882 --> 01:08:58,516
because they're losers,
just like you!
1278
01:08:59,685 --> 01:09:01,703
Hi.
1279
01:09:01,771 --> 01:09:05,423
I was just congratulating
our good friend, Mr. Shoop.
1280
01:09:05,491 --> 01:09:07,559
Now, about lunch, sweetheart.
1281
01:09:07,627 --> 01:09:10,078
Tell you what, sweetheart,
why don't you go ahead,
1282
01:09:10,146 --> 01:09:12,713
order two lunches
and eat them yourself.
1283
01:09:12,782 --> 01:09:14,381
One for each face.
1284
01:09:19,255 --> 01:09:20,754
Tsk, tsk, tsk.
1285
01:09:22,525 --> 01:09:25,576
Okay. Today
we take a practice test.
1286
01:09:25,645 --> 01:09:27,444
Pinpoint each
of your weak spots.
1287
01:09:27,513 --> 01:09:30,280
Then we work a couple hours after
school to really straighten 'em out.
1288
01:09:30,349 --> 01:09:33,550
Whoa, whoa. Wait, wait.
Practice tests, extra class time?
1289
01:09:33,620 --> 01:09:35,954
That wasn't in the contract.
Eakian, get him.
1290
01:09:36,022 --> 01:09:38,773
Hey, the test is in two weeks.
You all need the extra work.
1291
01:09:38,842 --> 01:09:42,093
I'm afraid we're gonna need
some extra incentive.
1292
01:09:42,162 --> 01:09:44,345
Yeah, like a party
with a band.
1293
01:09:44,414 --> 01:09:46,014
I could use some wheels, bad.
1294
01:09:46,082 --> 01:09:49,066
And get me a job, man,
doin' strip-o-grams.
1295
01:09:49,135 --> 01:09:50,835
I don't believe this greed.
1296
01:09:50,904 --> 01:09:52,886
Believe it, man.
I need a houseboy.
1297
01:09:54,457 --> 01:09:57,892
It's a simple matter
of renegotiating our contracts.
1298
01:09:57,960 --> 01:10:01,362
Renegotiate?
Who do you think you are, Teamsters?
1299
01:10:01,431 --> 01:10:02,847
Yeah, Teamsters!
1300
01:10:02,915 --> 01:10:05,699
Strike! Strike!
Strike! Strike!
1301
01:10:08,554 --> 01:10:13,441
Look, for the past four weeks,
I have given up all of my free time.
1302
01:10:13,509 --> 01:10:16,911
Had my body used for
a tackling dummy, my house trashed,
1303
01:10:16,980 --> 01:10:19,830
my couch set on fire,
my goldfish murdered,
1304
01:10:19,899 --> 01:10:22,750
my butt thrown in jail
and my car wrecked.
1305
01:10:25,305 --> 01:10:29,123
All I'm askin' for
is a little extra effort.
1306
01:10:29,192 --> 01:10:33,911
You know, what's sad is
you guys could've all passed that test.
1307
01:10:33,980 --> 01:10:37,782
But you're just so happy
being failures that you just don't know...
1308
01:10:37,850 --> 01:10:39,650
Why am I doin' this?
1309
01:10:40,820 --> 01:10:42,352
Tell you what.
1310
01:10:43,656 --> 01:10:46,190
You guys drop out
and be illiterate.
1311
01:10:46,258 --> 01:10:48,609
I'm goin' to Hawaii
and be tan.
1312
01:10:54,134 --> 01:10:55,500
Have a cow.
1313
01:10:56,236 --> 01:10:57,335
Damn.
1314
01:11:01,307 --> 01:11:03,691
Hey. Thanks for the help.
1315
01:11:04,744 --> 01:11:06,110
Good luck.
1316
01:11:07,046 --> 01:11:09,179
Where are you goin'?
- To quit.
1317
01:11:09,248 --> 01:11:10,848
You can't quit.
Sure, I can.
1318
01:11:10,917 --> 01:11:12,282
I never got through
to anybody.
1319
01:11:12,351 --> 01:11:14,619
Oh, that's not true.
Those kids were learning.
1320
01:11:14,687 --> 01:11:16,420
You're not a quitter.
Yes, I am.
1321
01:11:16,489 --> 01:11:19,289
How can you say that? I turned you down
for dinner at least a dozen times
1322
01:11:19,358 --> 01:11:21,893
in the last four weeks
and you haven't quit bugging me.
1323
01:11:21,961 --> 01:11:23,360
Wanna go out
to dinner tonight?
1324
01:11:23,429 --> 01:11:24,595
Can't.
1325
01:11:24,664 --> 01:11:25,863
See?
1326
01:11:32,455 --> 01:11:36,123
Everybody take a seat.
You, in the cot, out of bed.
1327
01:11:36,192 --> 01:11:37,375
Where's Mr. Shoop?
1328
01:11:37,444 --> 01:11:40,394
Mr. Shoop has
tendered his resignation.
1329
01:11:40,463 --> 01:11:42,330
Now, sit down.
1330
01:11:42,398 --> 01:11:45,717
Would someone tell me what Mr. Shoop
had planned for today?
1331
01:11:45,785 --> 01:11:46,784
Yes?
1332
01:11:46,853 --> 01:11:48,820
Group sex.
No, that's tomorrow.
1333
01:11:48,888 --> 01:11:51,756
Today is independent study, right after
our midmorning nap.
1334
01:11:51,824 --> 01:11:54,358
Don't think
you can pull this BS with me.
1335
01:11:54,427 --> 01:11:59,580
I want to see everybody take their
textbooks out and turn to Chapter, uh, 7.
1336
01:12:01,100 --> 01:12:02,550
Read it again.
1337
01:12:11,044 --> 01:12:13,060
Who's making that noise?
1338
01:12:14,564 --> 01:12:18,249
What noise? I don't hear any noise.
What, you got dog ears?
1339
01:12:22,472 --> 01:12:26,924
Chainsaw, stop doing that.
Stop doing what?
1340
01:12:26,993 --> 01:12:29,443
You know, I hear it, too,
and it's very annoying.
1341
01:12:29,512 --> 01:12:31,562
I wish you'd find the hooligan
that's responsible,
1342
01:12:31,631 --> 01:12:35,066
because I am trying to read
Chapter 7. Again.
1343
01:12:45,328 --> 01:12:48,095
Mr. Gills, I just cannot study.
I'm going to the library.
1344
01:12:48,164 --> 01:12:50,465
Chainsaw, sit down.
1345
01:12:50,533 --> 01:12:54,334
You people can hum till your lips fall off,
I could care less.
1346
01:12:54,404 --> 01:12:57,805
Wait a minute. You're not dismissed.
1347
01:12:57,874 --> 01:13:01,559
Now, I promise you, you people
act like psychopaths tomorrow,
1348
01:13:01,628 --> 01:13:02,693
and you will be sorry.
1349
01:13:02,779 --> 01:13:04,529
Ooh. We will be sorry?
1350
01:13:04,597 --> 01:13:07,598
Mr. Gills sure does know
his child psychology.
1351
01:13:10,736 --> 01:13:12,736
So, Miss Cura, I just wanted
to let you know
1352
01:13:12,805 --> 01:13:14,938
that the children
are a little hyperactive,
1353
01:13:15,007 --> 01:13:18,242
but I'm sure that you'll enjoy
their joie de vivre.
1354
01:13:18,311 --> 01:13:20,894
Well, so far, I've only subbed
at grammar schools,
1355
01:13:20,963 --> 01:13:23,397
so this should be
a nice change.
1356
01:13:24,550 --> 01:13:27,134
Help, Mr. Gills!
1357
01:13:27,202 --> 01:13:29,486
Denise! Denise!
Take it easy! What happened?
1358
01:13:29,555 --> 01:13:32,222
Don't go in there without a gun.
It's terrible.
1359
01:13:32,291 --> 01:13:34,742
Is this my classroom?
Yes, it is.
1360
01:13:34,811 --> 01:13:37,928
Whose blood is that?
Is that your blood?
1361
01:13:37,997 --> 01:13:39,796
No!
1362
01:13:51,761 --> 01:13:52,960
My God!
1363
01:14:34,370 --> 01:14:36,203
We're back!
1364
01:14:41,060 --> 01:14:43,444
What is wrong
with you people?
1365
01:14:43,513 --> 01:14:47,047
It's like you said, Gills!
We're psychopaths!
1366
01:14:49,718 --> 01:14:52,486
Somebody better
call the school nurse!
1367
01:14:54,240 --> 01:14:56,757
I am not amused!
Turn off those motors!
1368
01:14:59,361 --> 01:15:01,362
Everybody get up. Now!
1369
01:15:08,621 --> 01:15:10,887
I'm not ready
for high school.
1370
01:15:15,011 --> 01:15:17,328
Why'd she leave?
Didn't she like us?
1371
01:15:17,397 --> 01:15:18,863
Where's her sense of humor?
1372
01:15:18,931 --> 01:15:21,515
I have seen
some sick things before.
1373
01:15:22,318 --> 01:15:24,901
But this... This is...
1374
01:15:24,971 --> 01:15:27,304
Devilishly clever.
Vomitous!
1375
01:15:27,390 --> 01:15:28,405
Thank you.
1376
01:15:28,474 --> 01:15:31,392
We take a lot of pride
in our work.
1377
01:15:31,460 --> 01:15:33,444
Look, we want Shoop back.
1378
01:15:33,512 --> 01:15:36,430
Why would Shoop wanna come back?
So Kelban can fire him?
1379
01:15:36,499 --> 01:15:39,734
He might surprise you.
We did today.
1380
01:15:39,802 --> 01:15:42,903
And we've got more
for tomorrow.
1381
01:15:47,726 --> 01:15:49,410
Do we have a deal?
1382
01:16:05,294 --> 01:16:09,496
Wondermutt, I do not want to play.
Not now. I'm busy.
1383
01:16:42,414 --> 01:16:43,647
Hi.
1384
01:16:47,503 --> 01:16:49,886
Tough day at school?
We've been torturing Gills.
1385
01:16:49,955 --> 01:16:52,256
Yeah. He said
you could have your job back.
1386
01:16:52,341 --> 01:16:56,210
Now, why would I want my job back?
Hey, my life is sailin'.
1387
01:16:56,279 --> 01:17:01,949
I got a radio, blanket, beach chair,
dark glasses, dog.
1388
01:17:03,552 --> 01:17:05,152
Why would I wanna go back
to you guys?
1389
01:17:05,221 --> 01:17:08,506
How about we can't pass that test
without you?
1390
01:17:08,574 --> 01:17:12,326
Me and Chainsaw, we've been sober for
two days, four hours and 15 minutes.
1391
01:17:12,395 --> 01:17:13,427
No kiddin'?
1392
01:17:13,495 --> 01:17:15,796
Swear to God.
Reality is so unreal.
1393
01:17:15,865 --> 01:17:18,432
But it is a nice change.
True. Thumbs up.
1394
01:17:21,120 --> 01:17:23,854
I think you should know
that you were a phase.
1395
01:17:23,923 --> 01:17:26,123
I've outgrown you.
1396
01:17:26,191 --> 01:17:29,076
But I do wanna be friends,
if you can handle it.
1397
01:17:34,433 --> 01:17:36,900
And, Shoop,
1398
01:17:36,969 --> 01:17:40,004
I'm seeing that reading specialist
this afternoon, too.
1399
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:45,342
Look, we'll study in school,
after school, whatever it takes.
1400
01:17:45,411 --> 01:17:48,663
But we need a teacher.
What do you say, Mr. Shoop?
1401
01:17:51,784 --> 01:17:53,016
Please?
1402
01:18:01,543 --> 01:18:04,344
How can I say no
to these cute little faces?
1403
01:19:25,244 --> 01:19:27,661
Your practice test scores
were great.
1404
01:19:27,730 --> 01:19:29,462
Hey, come on,
you've been here 12 hours.
1405
01:19:29,531 --> 01:19:31,881
I want you to go home,
forget about this test,
1406
01:19:31,950 --> 01:19:33,584
get a good night's sleep.
1407
01:19:33,652 --> 01:19:36,470
I'll see you tomorrow,
8:00 a.m., the lecture hall.
1408
01:19:36,538 --> 01:19:39,506
Hey, trust me. Come on,
you're gonna kick ass and take names.
1409
01:19:39,574 --> 01:19:42,209
Believe it.
Are we really that ready?
1410
01:19:42,278 --> 01:19:43,576
Ready? What time's
the test tomorrow?
1411
01:19:43,645 --> 01:19:44,845
8:00 a.m.
1412
01:19:44,914 --> 01:19:47,347
You see, the correct answers
do not stop.
1413
01:19:47,416 --> 01:19:49,649
Now, go on.
Get out of here, all of you,
1414
01:19:49,718 --> 01:19:54,054
before the college recruiters show up and
try to drag you all off to Harvard.
1415
01:19:54,990 --> 01:19:56,556
Hey, I mean it.
1416
01:20:15,194 --> 01:20:17,744
Wondermutt, look. I found Bob.
1417
01:20:20,032 --> 01:20:21,414
Go get it.
1418
01:20:51,263 --> 01:20:52,395
Yeah.
1419
01:20:59,221 --> 01:21:01,755
Morning, Mom.
Morning, sweetheart.
1420
01:21:01,824 --> 01:21:04,457
Morning, Dad.
1421
01:21:04,527 --> 01:21:07,361
How do you want your eggs, honey?
Fried, scrambled?
1422
01:21:08,981 --> 01:21:10,948
I don't know.
1423
01:21:11,017 --> 01:21:13,750
What are eggs?
- I'll surprise you.
1424
01:21:13,819 --> 01:21:16,103
How do you spell "cat"?
1425
01:21:18,407 --> 01:21:19,673
I don't know!
1426
01:21:19,742 --> 01:21:22,175
Honey, what's wrong?
1427
01:21:22,244 --> 01:21:25,696
I don't know what's wrong.
Everything's blank.
1428
01:21:25,764 --> 01:21:27,063
I don't know anything!
1429
01:21:27,132 --> 01:21:28,749
I don't know anything!
1430
01:21:28,818 --> 01:21:30,934
I don't know anything!
1431
01:21:31,003 --> 01:21:34,054
Chainsaw! Chainsaw!
Chainsaw!
1432
01:21:34,123 --> 01:21:35,923
Are you all right?
1433
01:21:35,991 --> 01:21:38,475
I... I had a nightmare.
About what?
1434
01:21:39,628 --> 01:21:41,027
I don't know.
1435
01:21:41,096 --> 01:21:42,495
Great day for a test, huh?
1436
01:21:42,565 --> 01:21:43,597
Yeah.
1437
01:21:43,666 --> 01:21:45,065
Hey, Shoop.
1438
01:21:47,703 --> 01:21:50,337
An apple.
For the teacher.
1439
01:21:50,406 --> 01:21:51,972
Give 'em hell.
1440
01:21:53,676 --> 01:21:55,225
Hey! Hey,
we're testing in here.
1441
01:21:55,294 --> 01:21:56,910
I know, I'm in your class.
1442
01:21:58,831 --> 01:22:01,465
I remember you.
Where you been?
1443
01:22:01,533 --> 01:22:02,816
Bathroom.
1444
01:22:03,919 --> 01:22:06,286
Six weeks?
My zipper got stuck.
1445
01:22:10,025 --> 01:22:14,227
"Do not open the test booklets
until you are told to do so.
1446
01:22:14,296 --> 01:22:15,896
"Using a number two pencil,
1447
01:22:15,965 --> 01:22:18,382
"take your answer sheet
and fill in your name.
1448
01:22:18,450 --> 01:22:20,634
"Last name first,
first name second,
1449
01:22:20,702 --> 01:22:23,137
middle initial last
on the first line.
1450
01:22:23,205 --> 01:22:25,606
"Do this now."
1451
01:22:25,674 --> 01:22:30,343
This officer is here
to see that there is no cheating.
1452
01:22:30,412 --> 01:22:33,864
This officer is here to see
that there is no cheating.
1453
01:22:35,417 --> 01:22:38,285
Festival of screw-ups
and their king.
1454
01:22:40,823 --> 01:22:44,742
Mr. Gills extends his warmest personal
regards and best wishes.
1455
01:22:44,810 --> 01:22:48,095
Hey, thanks for carin', man.
1456
01:22:48,164 --> 01:22:51,648
Okay. "Break the seals
on your test booklets now.
1457
01:22:51,717 --> 01:22:55,969
"And turn to the section titled
'Reading Vocabulary.'
1458
01:22:56,038 --> 01:22:59,239
"You will have 20 minutes
to complete this section."
1459
01:23:00,275 --> 01:23:01,858
Everybody ready?
1460
01:23:03,128 --> 01:23:08,665
No!
1461
01:23:10,602 --> 01:23:13,069
Tension breaker,
had to be done.
1462
01:23:13,138 --> 01:23:14,605
Anybody else?
1463
01:23:18,144 --> 01:23:19,743
Good luck, gang.
1464
01:23:21,280 --> 01:23:22,479
Ready.
1465
01:23:23,715 --> 01:23:25,198
Begin.
1466
01:23:34,343 --> 01:23:35,492
Sorry.
1467
01:23:47,640 --> 01:23:49,105
♪ Run
1468
01:23:50,275 --> 01:23:52,108
♪ And don't look back
1469
01:23:54,747 --> 01:23:57,847
♪ We gotta keep our feet
1470
01:23:57,933 --> 01:23:59,683
♪ On the right track
1471
01:24:01,720 --> 01:24:03,787
♪ We're strong
1472
01:24:05,224 --> 01:24:07,474
♪ And we never give up
1473
01:24:10,095 --> 01:24:17,117
♪ 'Cause we believe
in a world of love
1474
01:24:18,620 --> 01:24:20,737
♪ People will talk
1475
01:24:20,806 --> 01:24:24,424
♪ Saying it's not meant to be
1476
01:24:25,194 --> 01:24:28,578
♪ But I
1477
01:24:28,647 --> 01:24:32,849
♪ Think that
we know differently
1478
01:24:32,918 --> 01:24:37,604
♪ Oh, we're doing
what can't be done
1479
01:24:37,672 --> 01:24:41,458
♪ Mind over matter
1480
01:24:41,527 --> 01:24:45,212
♪ There's no battle
that can't be won
1481
01:24:45,281 --> 01:24:47,781
♪ Mind over matter
1482
01:24:48,667 --> 01:24:49,666
♪ Fight
1483
01:24:51,269 --> 01:24:53,002
♪ And never say die
1484
01:24:56,225 --> 01:24:58,642
♪ We've got the right
1485
01:24:58,710 --> 01:25:00,994
♪ To be satisfied
1486
01:25:03,299 --> 01:25:04,815
♪ With hope
1487
01:25:07,002 --> 01:25:08,235
♪ To be so brave
1488
01:25:11,006 --> 01:25:17,977
♪ Where there's a will,
there's gotta be a way
1489
01:25:19,548 --> 01:25:21,981
♪ Sometimes it feels
1490
01:25:22,050 --> 01:25:25,352
♪ Like we're losing altitude
1491
01:25:26,355 --> 01:25:29,623
♪ But I
1492
01:25:29,691 --> 01:25:32,992
♪ Bear a winner's attitude ♪
1493
01:25:37,499 --> 01:25:38,698
Kevin.
1494
01:25:41,319 --> 01:25:42,953
It's starting.
1495
01:25:43,022 --> 01:25:44,755
Now?
1496
01:25:44,823 --> 01:25:46,122
Shit.
1497
01:25:47,142 --> 01:25:48,658
How far apart?
1498
01:25:49,495 --> 01:25:51,378
Twelve minutes.
1499
01:25:51,446 --> 01:25:53,263
Try and slow it down.
1500
01:25:55,017 --> 01:25:56,766
Forget about the...
1501
01:26:09,047 --> 01:26:10,630
Thirty seconds left.
1502
01:26:12,084 --> 01:26:14,201
C, C,
1503
01:26:14,253 --> 01:26:17,404
C, C, C,
1504
01:26:19,057 --> 01:26:22,975
C, C, C, C.
1505
01:26:23,044 --> 01:26:25,295
And...
Wait 20 more seconds.
1506
01:26:25,364 --> 01:26:28,048
Twenty seconds.
Stop. Pencils down.
1507
01:26:28,100 --> 01:26:31,017
C, C, C.
1508
01:26:31,086 --> 01:26:33,569
Drop 'em!
1509
01:26:33,639 --> 01:26:36,456
Just stay seated until Anna-Maria has a
chance to pick up your test sheets.
1510
01:26:36,525 --> 01:26:38,608
Miss Mazarelli,
may I have those tests
1511
01:26:38,677 --> 01:26:40,827
after you finish
collecting them, please?
1512
01:26:40,896 --> 01:26:43,296
Yeah, Kevin.
Can Rhonda and I be excused?
1513
01:26:43,365 --> 01:26:45,332
She's having a baby.
1514
01:26:45,401 --> 01:26:48,101
She's having a baby?
Oh, I wanna see this.
1515
01:26:48,153 --> 01:26:49,953
Calm down!
Everybody just stay in your seats.
1516
01:26:50,022 --> 01:26:51,971
No problem.
No problem here at all.
1517
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:53,723
Rhonda, why didn't
you say something?
1518
01:26:53,792 --> 01:26:55,275
Because I wanted
to finish my test.
1519
01:26:55,344 --> 01:26:57,510
What do you need?
Hot water, a ride?
1520
01:26:57,579 --> 01:27:00,012
All we need is a hospital.
What can I do?
1521
01:27:00,081 --> 01:27:01,814
Get out of my way.
I can do that.
1522
01:27:01,883 --> 01:27:04,551
Carmine, get out of her way!
Get the door.
1523
01:27:07,623 --> 01:27:08,921
Save the umbilical cord.
1524
01:27:08,990 --> 01:27:11,041
And the afterbirth,
if it's convenient.
1525
01:27:11,109 --> 01:27:13,426
Good thinkin'.
1526
01:27:13,495 --> 01:27:15,178
Oh, easy, easy, this way.
Watch out.
1527
01:27:16,381 --> 01:27:17,980
You look terrific.
1528
01:27:18,049 --> 01:27:19,716
Well, I'm feeling
pretty good.
1529
01:27:19,785 --> 01:27:21,451
That's great.
1530
01:27:21,520 --> 01:27:23,803
The baby is healthy
and happy.
1531
01:27:24,873 --> 01:27:27,507
And my coach
was incredible.
1532
01:27:27,576 --> 01:27:30,743
Yeah, well, I couldn't
have done it without you.
1533
01:27:30,812 --> 01:27:32,295
No cord, huh?
1534
01:27:34,149 --> 01:27:36,283
Hey, when do we get to see
the little whippersnapper?
1535
01:27:36,352 --> 01:27:39,268
Rhonda, don't let those two
near the baby, please.
1536
01:27:40,723 --> 01:27:42,856
Well, it won't be a problem.
1537
01:27:43,926 --> 01:27:46,259
I'm giving her up
for adoption.
1538
01:27:48,763 --> 01:27:51,214
She's going to
a really good home.
1539
01:27:51,282 --> 01:27:52,916
That's nice.
1540
01:27:52,984 --> 01:27:55,085
I'm not ready to be a mom.
1541
01:27:59,674 --> 01:28:02,075
Mr. Shoop.
Ciao.
1542
01:28:02,144 --> 01:28:04,260
Ciao, gang. How's it goin'?
1543
01:28:04,329 --> 01:28:05,946
All right.
Okay.
1544
01:28:08,967 --> 01:28:10,283
Bad news?
1545
01:28:11,837 --> 01:28:14,270
Gills says
he's mailin' you your scores.
1546
01:28:15,007 --> 01:28:17,023
We failed.
1547
01:28:17,092 --> 01:28:19,092
He just said the average grade
was below passing.
1548
01:28:19,160 --> 01:28:20,460
So we failed.
1549
01:28:20,529 --> 01:28:22,512
Hey, you didn't fail.
1550
01:28:23,348 --> 01:28:24,647
I failed.
1551
01:28:26,885 --> 01:28:28,602
Field trips to the beach,
1552
01:28:28,671 --> 01:28:32,306
a bed in your classroom,
drinking at the beach,
1553
01:28:32,374 --> 01:28:35,642
a screening of
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 1.
1554
01:28:35,710 --> 01:28:37,293
Quite a summer, Mr. Shoop.
1555
01:28:37,362 --> 01:28:39,029
I tried to
keep it interesting.
1556
01:28:39,097 --> 01:28:42,498
I have his dismissal
ready for your signature, sir.
1557
01:28:42,568 --> 01:28:44,534
Before I sign anything,
1558
01:28:44,603 --> 01:28:46,536
I understand there are
some people waiting
1559
01:28:46,605 --> 01:28:48,705
to speak on
Mr. Shoop's behalf.
1560
01:28:48,774 --> 01:28:52,475
Really?
Come in.
1561
01:28:52,544 --> 01:28:56,346
Mr. Kelban, you're not actually going to
listen to these delinquents?
1562
01:28:56,414 --> 01:28:59,216
No. I'm going to listen
to their parents.
1563
01:29:13,148 --> 01:29:15,482
I'm Principal Kelban.
1564
01:29:15,550 --> 01:29:17,267
Is there a spokesperson here?
1565
01:29:17,335 --> 01:29:19,769
I guess I am.
I-I'm Howard Gremp.
1566
01:29:19,838 --> 01:29:23,339
You're Chainsaw's father.
Interesting boy.
1567
01:29:23,408 --> 01:29:25,124
No, you can say it.
He's a lunatic.
1568
01:29:25,194 --> 01:29:26,826
Dad.
1569
01:29:26,895 --> 01:29:30,430
You know, six weeks ago,
I thought he had the IQ of a salad bar.
1570
01:29:30,499 --> 01:29:33,600
His only interest in life
was to make people sick.
1571
01:29:33,669 --> 01:29:35,268
I mean, if my mother
came to dinner,
1572
01:29:35,337 --> 01:29:38,638
he would give the dog
a third eye or an extra leg.
1573
01:29:38,707 --> 01:29:42,459
Because of him,
we stopped having kids.
1574
01:29:42,527 --> 01:29:46,062
I mean, you can imagine
the feelin' when I saw him studying.
1575
01:29:46,131 --> 01:29:48,999
The wife and I
almost burst into tears.
1576
01:29:49,067 --> 01:29:51,518
David was doing
his homework, too.
1577
01:29:51,587 --> 01:29:53,920
It makes sense,
they share the same brain.
1578
01:29:53,988 --> 01:29:57,673
Not only did Mr. Shoop
get my daughter to read,
1579
01:29:57,742 --> 01:29:59,226
he taught her to drive.
1580
01:29:59,294 --> 01:30:02,412
He showed Kevin there's more to life
than just football.
1581
01:30:02,481 --> 01:30:05,414
I'm not sure I agree,
but it's possible.
1582
01:30:05,484 --> 01:30:07,701
This man
should not be teaching.
1583
01:30:07,770 --> 01:30:12,154
Proof is right here in these test results.
Look for yourself, Mr. Shoop.
1584
01:30:12,223 --> 01:30:15,808
Passing is 70.
Average score here was 63.
1585
01:30:16,828 --> 01:30:18,228
They failed.
1586
01:30:18,296 --> 01:30:20,747
That is not true, Mr. Gills.
1587
01:30:20,815 --> 01:30:21,832
You mean we passed?
1588
01:30:21,900 --> 01:30:23,332
Well, no.
No, not all of you.
1589
01:30:23,401 --> 01:30:25,652
But that's not
what's important here.
1590
01:30:25,720 --> 01:30:30,157
Larry went from an 18
to a 51!
1591
01:30:31,459 --> 01:30:34,060
If I'd only seen you
strip a week sooner. You!
1592
01:30:34,129 --> 01:30:35,996
Mom, my hair.
Rhonda.
1593
01:30:36,064 --> 01:30:40,366
From a 29 to a 43
and she gave birth.
1594
01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:44,053
Isn't childbirth
grounds for a makeup test?
1595
01:30:44,139 --> 01:30:45,572
It always has been.
1596
01:30:47,443 --> 01:30:49,458
This woman thing
never fails.
1597
01:30:49,527 --> 01:30:53,295
Eakian. A 51 to a 74.
1598
01:30:54,516 --> 01:30:57,684
I passed!
I am an Eakian, Grams.
1599
01:30:57,752 --> 01:30:59,535
All right, Eaker.
Denise.
1600
01:30:59,604 --> 01:31:03,723
No previous test score because you
ditched every test, but a 38.
1601
01:31:03,792 --> 01:31:05,641
Honey, that's terrific.
1602
01:31:05,710 --> 01:31:07,210
We'll get 'em next time.
1603
01:31:07,278 --> 01:31:08,778
Kevin.
Yeah?
1604
01:31:08,847 --> 01:31:11,915
From a 48 to a 75!
1605
01:31:11,983 --> 01:31:13,783
Yeah! I'm back on the team!
1606
01:31:13,852 --> 01:31:16,502
Yeah! Kill!
Yeah! Kill!
1607
01:31:21,293 --> 01:31:25,595
Chainsaw. Last score was a 6.
This time, 59.
1608
01:31:25,663 --> 01:31:27,997
Monster comeback.
All right.
1609
01:31:28,066 --> 01:31:31,067
And Dave.
From a 26 to a 70.
1610
01:31:31,136 --> 01:31:32,385
I passed!
1611
01:31:32,453 --> 01:31:34,087
You made it!
You passed?
1612
01:31:34,156 --> 01:31:37,573
You passed and I failed, you asshole!
How could you do that to me?
1613
01:31:37,659 --> 01:31:41,044
It was an accident. I'll take it again.
I can fail, I know it.
1614
01:31:41,113 --> 01:31:45,198
And Pam went from a 53
to an 82.
1615
01:31:47,336 --> 01:31:49,168
Was that the highest?
Well, almost.
1616
01:31:49,237 --> 01:31:52,655
I mean, that guy who spent six weeks
in the bathroom got a 91.
1617
01:31:52,724 --> 01:31:56,459
But look, there's more goin' on here than
test scores and grades.
1618
01:31:56,527 --> 01:31:58,828
You all worked hard
and you improved.
1619
01:31:58,914 --> 01:32:01,097
Yeah, that's very nice,
Mr. Shoop.
1620
01:32:01,165 --> 01:32:02,716
The point is
we are here to discuss
1621
01:32:02,784 --> 01:32:04,851
Mr. Shoop's flagrant violation
of school policies.
1622
01:32:04,920 --> 01:32:06,435
Hold it, Gills.
1623
01:32:10,442 --> 01:32:12,141
According to my numbers,
1624
01:32:12,210 --> 01:32:15,645
the average scores here
increased from 28 to 63.
1625
01:32:15,714 --> 01:32:18,765
Now, that's 125% improvement.
Now, that's teaching.
1626
01:32:18,834 --> 01:32:20,382
Absolutely.
Yeah.
1627
01:32:20,451 --> 01:32:22,786
Mr. Shoop,
I'm granting you tenure.
1628
01:32:25,557 --> 01:32:27,874
He's back,
ladies and gentlemen!
1629
01:32:46,778 --> 01:32:49,195
This is the last time I ask.
1630
01:32:49,264 --> 01:32:50,630
I promise.
1631
01:32:51,767 --> 01:32:53,967
Will you have dinner
with me?
1632
01:32:55,137 --> 01:32:56,936
I'll think about it.
1633
01:33:00,175 --> 01:33:02,575
Can I use
some of that lip stuff?
1634
01:33:21,630 --> 01:33:24,831
Does this mean
we can have dinner tonight?
1635
01:33:24,899 --> 01:33:26,599
I didn't say that.
1636
01:33:27,936 --> 01:33:30,703
We'll just talk about it
over breakfast.
1637
01:34:24,976 --> 01:34:27,309
♪ Don't got a pretty girl
who loves me a lot
1638
01:34:27,378 --> 01:34:30,446
♪ Don't got a fast car
that looks real hot
1639
01:34:30,514 --> 01:34:33,249
♪ Don't got a fine pad
or stereo
1640
01:34:33,317 --> 01:34:35,017
♪ And I don't do well
at the school
1641
01:34:35,086 --> 01:34:37,236
♪ Where I go, go, go, go, go
1642
01:34:37,305 --> 01:34:38,672
♪ But I'm happy
1643
01:34:40,408 --> 01:34:43,743
♪ I'm happy though the world
is upside down
1644
01:34:45,513 --> 01:34:48,081
♪ I'm happy that we all
made it through another day
1645
01:34:48,150 --> 01:34:50,950
♪ When I pick up the phone
I still remember what to say
1646
01:34:51,019 --> 01:34:53,987
♪ I'm happy that my brain
still lives inside my head
1647
01:34:54,056 --> 01:34:55,321
♪ Most of all, I think
1648
01:34:55,390 --> 01:34:57,957
♪ I'm hap-hap-hap-
hap-hap-happy
1649
01:34:58,026 --> 01:35:01,027
♪ Happy that I ain't dead
1650
01:35:04,900 --> 01:35:06,632
♪ I ain't dead
1651
01:35:28,389 --> 01:35:30,890
♪ I know a guy
with plenty of loot
1652
01:35:30,959 --> 01:35:33,693
♪ You'd never catch him in
a two-dollar suit
1653
01:35:33,762 --> 01:35:36,763
♪ He's got gold chains
Plenty of rings
1654
01:35:36,832 --> 01:35:39,149
♪ He told me, "Buddy,
it don't mean a thing
1655
01:35:39,217 --> 01:35:41,951
♪ Don't mean a thing
if you ain't happy
1656
01:35:43,788 --> 01:35:47,290
♪ Happy though the world
is upside down
1657
01:35:49,961 --> 01:35:52,695
♪ Be happy that you made it
through another day
1658
01:35:52,764 --> 01:35:55,632
♪ When you pick up the phone
you still remember what to say
1659
01:35:55,700 --> 01:35:58,701
♪ Be happy that your brain
still lives inside your head
1660
01:35:58,770 --> 01:36:01,571
♪ Most of all
I think I'm happy
1661
01:36:01,640 --> 01:36:06,876
♪ Yeah, happy
1662
01:36:06,962 --> 01:36:10,897
♪ I'm happy though the whole
thing is ready to blow
1663
01:36:13,601 --> 01:36:16,202
♪ I'm happy that the sun
is risin' up again
1664
01:36:16,271 --> 01:36:19,239
♪ That somewhere in this world
I still got a friend
1665
01:36:19,307 --> 01:36:22,041
♪ Be happy that the big one
It hasn't dropped yet
1666
01:36:22,110 --> 01:36:24,177
♪ Be happy that
you still got something
1667
01:36:24,246 --> 01:36:26,446
♪ Something
Something to forget
1668
01:36:27,749 --> 01:36:29,149
♪ I'm happy
1669
01:36:34,256 --> 01:36:36,122
♪ Oh, I'm happy
1670
01:36:37,659 --> 01:36:40,226
♪ I'm happy
1671
01:36:40,295 --> 01:36:43,996
♪ I'm happy, yeah, yeah
I'm happy
1672
01:36:46,034 --> 01:36:51,470
♪ I'm happy
So happy
1673
01:36:51,539 --> 01:36:55,607
♪ I'm happy
So happy
1674
01:36:59,447 --> 01:37:00,847
♪ So happy