1
00:02:39,777 --> 00:02:42,970
Children of the night shut up!

2
00:03:01,098 --> 00:03:02,892
Renfield!

3
00:03:03,396 --> 00:03:05,386
Renfield!

4
00:03:07,272 --> 00:03:08,807
Yes, master.

5
00:03:08,907 --> 00:03:10,809
I was getting the magazines, master.

6
00:03:10,909 --> 00:03:14,179
How many times do I have to tell you,
body temperature.

7
00:03:14,279 --> 00:03:15,839
Yes, master.

8
00:03:16,515 --> 00:03:20,146
Lots of ladies in the altogether
for you to drool over.

9
00:03:22,587 --> 00:03:24,147
Trash.

10
00:03:24,389 --> 00:03:25,881
Filth.

11
00:03:28,593 --> 00:03:30,290
Pornographic!

12
00:03:31,329 --> 00:03:33,031
Where is my fashion magazine?

13
00:03:33,131 --> 00:03:36,125
Whatever master wants, master gets.

14
00:03:40,006 --> 00:03:41,634
There she is.

15
00:03:42,008 --> 00:03:44,103
Cindy Sondheim.

16
00:03:44,944 --> 00:03:49,540
I tell you, Renfield every time
I see her, I am more sure it's her.

17
00:03:49,849 --> 00:03:52,683
The only woman I have ever loved.

18
00:03:53,452 --> 00:03:54,954
Please, master

19
00:03:55,054 --> 00:03:59,358
that's the same thing you said
about the Countess de Montespan in 1672.

20
00:03:59,458 --> 00:04:03,356
That was sex, Renfield this is love.

21
00:04:03,596 --> 00:04:07,757
This one has a soul a very old soul.

22
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:10,629
A soul I have known before.

23
00:04:11,405 --> 00:04:15,070
I bit her once in Warsaw,
in thirteen hundred and

24
00:04:16,410 --> 00:04:18,334
Thirteen hundred and

25
00:04:18,445 --> 00:04:21,837
Renfield!
56, master.

26
00:04:22,015 --> 00:04:23,404
Yes.

27
00:04:23,684 --> 00:04:26,780
Yes, 1356, Warsaw, I bit her once.

28
00:04:28,322 --> 00:04:31,191
I met her again in England
in nineteen hundred

29
00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:33,852
31.
31!

30
00:04:35,095 --> 00:04:37,064
Two bites that time

31
00:04:37,164 --> 00:04:40,362
I knew her as Mina Harker.

32
00:04:40,601 --> 00:04:43,671
But I lost her in that damn London fog.

33
00:04:43,771 --> 00:04:45,740
I'll never forget it, master.

34
00:04:45,840 --> 00:04:49,038
That was the time
Dr. Van Helsing nearly got you.

35
00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:54,349
If it hadn't been for that cigarette case
I gave you for your 650th birthday

36
00:04:54,449 --> 00:04:58,080
he would have driven that stake
right through your heart.

37
00:04:58,753 --> 00:04:59,821
What?

38
00:04:59,921 --> 00:05:03,449
He would have driven that stake
right through your heart.

39
00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:05,793
So what do you want from me, a medal?

40
00:05:05,893 --> 00:05:07,521
Sorry, master.

41
00:05:10,198 --> 00:05:13,601
Cindy and I are going down
to the cellar to take a little nap.

42
00:05:13,701 --> 00:05:16,104
Master, please be careful!
What is it?

43
00:05:16,204 --> 00:05:18,440
You nearly stepped on my dinner.

44
00:05:18,540 --> 00:05:20,134
Forgive me.

45
00:05:21,777 --> 00:05:23,303
Bon appétit!

46
00:05:23,946 --> 00:05:26,215
Renfield!
Yes, master?

47
00:05:26,315 --> 00:05:28,984
Didn't mean to bother you
while you are eating.

48
00:05:29,084 --> 00:05:32,112
When you are finished, tidy up a bit.

49
00:05:32,921 --> 00:05:34,754
Certainly, master.

50
00:05:41,864 --> 00:05:45,290
Cheating on your honeymoon can be fun.

51
00:05:46,201 --> 00:05:48,771
How to get your gynecologist
to tear up his bill

52
00:05:48,871 --> 00:05:51,866
by yelling rape in the office.

53
00:05:52,275 --> 00:05:55,803
The 10 best states
to divorce your old man in.

54
00:05:56,446 --> 00:06:00,475
Husband-beating.
Ten men tell why they like it.

55
00:06:00,817 --> 00:06:02,616
Sick.

56
00:06:03,553 --> 00:06:05,716
Cindy Sondheim

57
00:06:06,122 --> 00:06:09,150
one day I will take you away
from all of this.

58
00:06:12,996 --> 00:06:15,489
Wake up, master!

59
00:06:22,072 --> 00:06:24,308
Master, there's someone at the door.

60
00:06:24,408 --> 00:06:28,073
They want to see you.
I think they are from the government.

61
00:06:29,580 --> 00:06:32,450
How do you know?
They are wearing shoes.

62
00:06:32,550 --> 00:06:36,354
And therefore by a unanimous vote
of the Central Committee

63
00:06:36,454 --> 00:06:39,123
it has been decided
to turn this castle

64
00:06:39,223 --> 00:06:42,490
into a training camp
for our young athletes.

65
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:46,464
You and your cockroach-eating friend
over there

66
00:06:46,564 --> 00:06:49,524
have 48 hours to get out!

67
00:06:49,767 --> 00:06:52,431
Good evening, Comrade Count.

68
00:06:57,909 --> 00:06:59,742
Wait one minute.

69
00:07:02,180 --> 00:07:03,945
This is my home.

70
00:07:04,082 --> 00:07:06,284
My people cleared the land.

71
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,620
We tortured innocent peasants for it.

72
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,689
We even murdered for it.

73
00:07:10,789 --> 00:07:14,124
By Romanian law, that makes it ours.

74
00:07:15,026 --> 00:07:17,951
Now you listen to me, stupid.

75
00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:21,933
In 48 hours, we will be back here

76
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:25,470
with trampolines,
parallel bars, swings

77
00:07:25,570 --> 00:07:29,497
and Nadia Comaneci. Don't be here!

78
00:07:29,941 --> 00:07:31,604
Don't be here?

79
00:07:33,045 --> 00:07:34,844
Where am I to go?

80
00:07:35,915 --> 00:07:38,579
You have a choice, Comrade Count.

81
00:07:38,818 --> 00:07:43,245
Either you spend the rest of your life
in an efficiency apartment

82
00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:46,826
with seven dissidents and one toilet

83
00:07:46,926 --> 00:07:51,786
or you gather your aristocratic
shit together and split.

84
00:08:01,007 --> 00:08:02,635
Renfield!

85
00:08:03,644 --> 00:08:05,375
Yes, master.

86
00:08:06,079 --> 00:08:08,470
What is an efficiency apartment?

87
00:08:09,449 --> 00:08:11,373
I don't know, master.

88
00:08:12,052 --> 00:08:13,714
What's a toilet?

89
00:08:19,159 --> 00:08:20,548
Get the monster.

90
00:08:20,894 --> 00:08:23,922
The horses are harnessed, master.
It's time.

91
00:08:24,932 --> 00:08:27,960
So they've come to pay their respects,
have they?

92
00:08:30,404 --> 00:08:32,272
Not exactly, master.

93
00:08:32,372 --> 00:08:34,975
Perhaps it would be better
if you left in your coffin.

94
00:08:35,075 --> 00:08:37,706
I could take it off the carriage.

95
00:08:43,585 --> 00:08:46,112
Me, afraid of townspeople!

96
00:08:46,354 --> 00:08:48,779
A bunch of yokels.

97
00:08:50,291 --> 00:08:52,283
Come, Renfield

98
00:08:52,627 --> 00:08:55,427
we will give them a run for their money.

99
00:09:20,389 --> 00:09:22,381
Get the wolfsbane.

100
00:09:22,958 --> 00:09:24,689
Get your wolfsbane.

101
00:09:25,961 --> 00:09:28,795
Torch him in the boat.

102
00:09:30,399 --> 00:09:32,426
Hang him by his heels.

103
00:09:33,168 --> 00:09:36,196
What do you want from him? Blood?

104
00:09:42,077 --> 00:09:45,709
You dirty bat, you bit my mother.

105
00:09:47,617 --> 00:09:51,248
What is your name?
Alexei Rugalov.

106
00:09:53,089 --> 00:09:58,358
No, Alexei, I bit your mother,
and your grandmother.

107
00:10:18,916 --> 00:10:23,213
And you, my child
are you not afraid of Count Dracula?

108
00:10:27,024 --> 00:10:31,053
You see, even a child knows.

109
00:10:32,229 --> 00:10:36,258
The wolf is
a very misunderstood creature.

110
00:10:37,268 --> 00:10:41,399
He never kills for sport,
only what is needed.

111
00:10:43,274 --> 00:10:47,132
And he always protects the young.

112
00:10:48,079 --> 00:10:49,639
And the old.

113
00:11:00,726 --> 00:11:02,616
Have your fun.

114
00:11:03,161 --> 00:11:05,330
But remember this

115
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:09,534
without me, Transylvania will be
as exciting as

116
00:11:09,634 --> 00:11:12,594
Bucharest on a Monday night.

117
00:11:51,978 --> 00:11:54,647
Pardon me, would you like
Chicken Kiev, Chateaubriand

118
00:11:54,747 --> 00:11:57,013
or Veal Cutlet Florentine for lunch?

119
00:11:57,117 --> 00:11:59,320
Everything you mention is dead.

120
00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:02,914
Don't you have anything
that's alive and kicking?

121
00:12:03,590 --> 00:12:06,117
I'll have the Chicken Kiev, miss.

122
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:10,397
Why don't you bring a nice juicy mouse
for little Salome here?

123
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:12,421
Could I have one, too?

124
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,663
That's funny.

125
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:25,237
American slang.

126
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:29,072
Putting on the ritz,
getting dressed up.

127
00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:31,848
Flapper, a girl.

128
00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:34,614
Hotsy-totsy. Boo-boop-be-do.

129
00:12:34,923 --> 00:12:36,620
Red-hot mama.

130
00:12:37,158 --> 00:12:40,391
Twenty-three skidoo. What is this?

131
00:12:42,964 --> 00:12:45,662
Copyright, 1926.

132
00:12:46,167 --> 00:12:50,271
Renfield, you bungling moron,
this book is as out of date as

133
00:12:50,371 --> 00:12:51,760
I am.

134
00:13:09,892 --> 00:13:14,626
Passengers for Flight 330,
please board immediately at Gate 5.

135
00:13:18,134 --> 00:13:19,535
All right, what have you got?

136
00:13:19,635 --> 00:13:22,972
Nothing, just a sitar
I bought in Bangladesh.

137
00:13:23,072 --> 00:13:24,807
Bangladesh.

138
00:13:24,907 --> 00:13:28,644
Okay, strip him down, look in his eyes,
look in his ears, look in his nose

139
00:13:28,744 --> 00:13:32,081
and have him bend over
and touch his toes and look up there.

140
00:13:32,181 --> 00:13:33,783
Lousy hippies!

141
00:13:33,883 --> 00:13:36,652
What have you got to declare over $100?

142
00:13:36,753 --> 00:13:38,121
Nothing, sir.

143
00:13:38,221 --> 00:13:40,885
Oh, yeah? Then what's in there?

144
00:13:41,091 --> 00:13:43,393
All that's left of my father.

145
00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:46,563
I'm bringing him home
so I can bury him next to my mother.

146
00:13:46,663 --> 00:13:48,732
That's his passport right there.

147
00:13:48,832 --> 00:13:50,961
What did he die of?

148
00:13:51,067 --> 00:13:55,238
He was half eaten by a lion
while he was on safari in Africa.

149
00:13:55,338 --> 00:13:59,037
What was left, the vultures got at.
Would you like to see?

150
00:13:59,476 --> 00:14:02,646
They chewed away his eyes
and his nose and his mouth.

151
00:14:02,746 --> 00:14:06,638
But you can still identify him.
He's in three rather large pieces.

152
00:14:10,321 --> 00:14:12,154
Get out of here.

153
00:14:14,025 --> 00:14:15,414
Next!

154
00:14:21,065 --> 00:14:25,333
Alvin, I told you to go find your roots.

155
00:14:26,003 --> 00:14:29,600
But who told you to drink the water?

156
00:14:32,577 --> 00:14:37,311
Passengers for Flight 330,
please board immediately at Gate 5.

157
00:14:37,915 --> 00:14:42,220
Flight 217, now boarding at Gate 5.

158
00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,023
Sir, would you like
limo service to New York?

159
00:14:45,123 --> 00:14:46,925
Thank you very much.

160
00:14:47,025 --> 00:14:49,394
And for you, only $25.

161
00:14:49,494 --> 00:14:51,630
Hey, pal, why pay a limo
to carry this thing?

162
00:14:51,730 --> 00:14:54,099
I got a private car. Air-conditioned.

163
00:14:54,199 --> 00:14:57,033
$10 flat. No tip. What do you say?

164
00:14:57,636 --> 00:15:02,132
Master, there is a gentleman here
that says he'll take us into town for $10.

165
00:15:02,441 --> 00:15:04,443
Master, what should I do?

166
00:15:04,543 --> 00:15:08,347
All right, enough with the number
already, $7.50.

167
00:15:08,447 --> 00:15:12,283
But you carry the master.
I always do.

168
00:15:15,554 --> 00:15:17,582
Come along now, master.

169
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,979
I knew Brother Alvin.

170
00:15:41,748 --> 00:15:43,516
And he was a swinger.

171
00:15:43,616 --> 00:15:45,608
Praise the Lord.

172
00:15:48,187 --> 00:15:50,180
He loved his booze.

173
00:15:52,293 --> 00:15:54,495
He loved his women.

174
00:15:54,595 --> 00:15:56,587
And my wife, too.

175
00:15:57,364 --> 00:16:01,291
But most of all,
he loved his Cadillac Seville.

176
00:16:02,169 --> 00:16:03,934
And it's a beaut.

177
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:08,435
I know because he left it to me.
Hallelujah.

178
00:16:09,810 --> 00:16:10,978
Praise the Lord.

179
00:16:11,078 --> 00:16:13,547
I showed him how God

180
00:16:13,647 --> 00:16:16,914
wanted him to have a swell time
while he was alive.

181
00:16:18,952 --> 00:16:21,121
Because, brothers and sisters

182
00:16:21,221 --> 00:16:23,525
when you is gone

183
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:25,424
you is gone.

184
00:16:25,627 --> 00:16:28,363
And ain't no way, nohow

185
00:16:28,463 --> 00:16:32,196
nobody's gonna bring you back here
once you is dead.

186
00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:40,201
Good evening.

187
00:16:45,413 --> 00:16:47,282
I am Count Dracula.

188
00:16:47,382 --> 00:16:51,274
I would like a large suite with a bath.
I have a reservation.

189
00:16:57,626 --> 00:17:00,995
This is not the lobby
of the Plaza Hotel?

190
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,811
Hey, you. What's shaking, honky?

191
00:17:20,850 --> 00:17:21,884
Good evening.

192
00:17:21,984 --> 00:17:26,582
Forgive me, but could you direct me
to where I might find a taxi?

193
00:17:26,889 --> 00:17:30,894
There ain't none.
They scared to come up here after dark.

194
00:17:30,994 --> 00:17:32,462
Honky.

195
00:17:32,562 --> 00:17:37,200
A honky? I am not a honky.
I am Romanian.

196
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:40,370
You mean you was a Romanian, mother.

197
00:17:40,470 --> 00:17:42,172
Hey, man, did you see Roots?

198
00:17:42,272 --> 00:17:45,609
I wouldn't mess with him.
His grandfather was a Watusi.

199
00:17:45,709 --> 00:17:47,978
A Watusi. A warrior.

200
00:17:48,078 --> 00:17:51,248
The time is late, the man is tall

201
00:17:51,348 --> 00:17:54,717
but I got a date, so he must fall.

202
00:17:59,022 --> 00:18:00,980
Let me have the mother.

203
00:18:04,162 --> 00:18:06,792
It's thanksgiving time, turkey.

204
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:23,348
I ain't with these guys.
These brothers were just standing here.

205
00:18:23,448 --> 00:18:26,874
Now I know my way home,
so you don't have to show me.

206
00:18:35,993 --> 00:18:39,659
It's dudes like you
that give the neighborhood a bad name.

207
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,794
Raid!

208
00:18:43,202 --> 00:18:45,437
Raid, house and garden bug killer.

209
00:18:45,537 --> 00:18:48,807
Indoors or outdoors,
Raid hunts bugs down like radar.

210
00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:50,809
And kills them dead.

211
00:18:50,909 --> 00:18:53,641
I win!
You lose.

212
00:19:04,690 --> 00:19:06,114
Master!

213
00:19:06,758 --> 00:19:08,989
Happy to see you, too, master.

214
00:19:11,698 --> 00:19:14,430
You psychotic, bungling moron.

215
00:19:15,301 --> 00:19:17,504
There is a dead schwartz in there.

216
00:19:17,604 --> 00:19:18,905
That's impossible!

217
00:19:19,005 --> 00:19:22,636
Don't tell me impossible.
Look, go on, look for yourself.

218
00:19:25,745 --> 00:19:28,409
Maybe he's just a late sleeper.

219
00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:32,352
I'll have them get rid of it
immediately, master.

220
00:19:32,452 --> 00:19:36,413
After that, you'll arrange to get my coffin.
Yes, master.

221
00:19:36,589 --> 00:19:38,458
Meanwhile, I'm resting.

222
00:19:38,558 --> 00:19:42,962
You will go to make discreet enquiries
as to the whereabouts of Miss Cindy.

223
00:19:43,062 --> 00:19:47,499
I bought an American suit
so I'll look just like everyone else.

224
00:19:47,635 --> 00:19:49,970
I seriously doubt that, Renfield.

225
00:19:50,070 --> 00:19:51,835
Nevertheless.

226
00:19:53,407 --> 00:19:55,543
By the time I arise tomorrow evening

227
00:19:55,643 --> 00:19:58,238
the sun sets at

228
00:19:58,712 --> 00:20:01,115
7:52, master.

229
00:20:01,215 --> 00:20:05,779
By 7:53, I want to know
where Cindy Sondheim lives.

230
00:20:06,086 --> 00:20:09,182
But not for long. Right, master?

231
00:20:30,545 --> 00:20:32,344
You can go in now.

232
00:20:45,260 --> 00:20:48,595
Didn't I see him on Fantasy Island?

233
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:54,692
Now, you expect me to introduce my most
successful model to your employer

234
00:20:54,870 --> 00:20:56,806
this Count something.

235
00:20:56,906 --> 00:21:00,207
What did you say his last name was?
Dracula.

236
00:21:00,743 --> 00:21:02,712
Count Dracula?
Correct.

237
00:21:02,812 --> 00:21:05,407
The Count Dracula?
Yes.

238
00:21:09,151 --> 00:21:11,521
Bob Evans from Paramount sent you,
didn't he?

239
00:21:11,621 --> 00:21:13,456
I mean this is a joke, right?
It's a gag.

240
00:21:13,556 --> 00:21:14,991
Crazy Bob, what a lug.

241
00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:17,686
No. I'm not joking.

242
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:21,631
My master would like very much
to meet Miss Sondheim.

243
00:21:21,731 --> 00:21:25,669
I'm sure he would be willing to give you
a commission if you could arrange it.

244
00:21:25,769 --> 00:21:27,704
How much of a commission?

245
00:21:27,804 --> 00:21:32,038
Well, he might make you a colonel
in the Royal Transylvanian Army.

246
00:21:32,242 --> 00:21:35,577
That is, when the next
free elections will be held.

247
00:21:37,481 --> 00:21:38,482
All right, you freak.

248
00:21:38,582 --> 00:21:42,941
You have 30 seconds to get out
of my office or I call the security guard.

249
00:21:44,388 --> 00:21:49,725
You have 30 seconds to tell me
where Miss Sondheim is or

250
00:21:50,427 --> 00:21:53,853
Or what?
You will eat your lunch in my office?

251
00:21:53,964 --> 00:21:57,892
No, my lunch will eat you.

252
00:22:06,678 --> 00:22:10,138
What is that? Oh, my God.

253
00:22:13,151 --> 00:22:17,544
Central Park, 9:00. Christ!

254
00:22:32,971 --> 00:22:36,041
Pose like that. I like that.

255
00:22:36,141 --> 00:22:39,612
You're angry. You're not angry.

256
00:22:39,712 --> 00:22:42,281
You're a happy woman.

257
00:22:42,381 --> 00:22:44,112
Now you're angry.

258
00:22:45,017 --> 00:22:47,942
Smile.

259
00:22:48,120 --> 00:22:50,923
Beautiful. Little to the left.

260
00:22:51,023 --> 00:22:52,890
Pet the dog.

261
00:22:54,193 --> 00:22:55,753
Smile.

262
00:23:33,700 --> 00:23:35,335
Come on, buddy. Step back.

263
00:23:35,435 --> 00:23:37,238
I've come a long way to see her.

264
00:23:37,338 --> 00:23:40,969
You and about 1,000 other schmucks.
Now, step back, buddy.

265
00:24:06,534 --> 00:24:08,162
What the

266
00:24:13,875 --> 00:24:15,299
Get that dog!

267
00:24:28,790 --> 00:24:31,886
Hold still, Cindy.
He's not going to bite.

268
00:24:34,062 --> 00:24:36,031
Hi. What are you doing here?

269
00:24:36,131 --> 00:24:38,726
Stop that. That tickles.

270
00:24:39,134 --> 00:24:41,559
Would you stop it?

271
00:24:44,407 --> 00:24:45,796
You're cute.

272
00:24:45,908 --> 00:24:48,469
Come on.
Wait. Hey!

273
00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:52,582
Nobody pees on New York's finest.

274
00:24:52,682 --> 00:24:54,572
Right to the dog pound.

275
00:25:11,300 --> 00:25:14,635
Renfield.
You will do two things in the morning.

276
00:25:15,538 --> 00:25:17,875
You will locate Miss Cindy Sondheim

277
00:25:17,975 --> 00:25:21,912
and you will go to Dunhill Tailors,
and buy me three new tailcoats.

278
00:25:22,012 --> 00:25:23,280
Yes, master.

279
00:25:23,380 --> 00:25:25,048
Better make that six.

280
00:25:25,148 --> 00:25:27,484
This city is like living in a jungle.

281
00:25:27,584 --> 00:25:29,887
They drove me too far tonight.

282
00:25:29,987 --> 00:25:33,290
Don't worry, master.
I'm sure you'll meet her someday.

283
00:25:33,390 --> 00:25:34,525
It's not that.

284
00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:38,695
It's the $8 I had to pay for this lousy dog
license to get out of there.

285
00:25:38,795 --> 00:25:41,459
I'm going out to get a bite to drink.

286
00:25:43,233 --> 00:25:47,900
If you are hungry, master
we could ring for the night maid.

287
00:26:00,218 --> 00:26:02,176
The roof, please.

288
00:26:36,722 --> 00:26:39,147
Morty, I love you.

289
00:26:42,328 --> 00:26:44,330
Morty.
Yeah, honey.

290
00:26:44,430 --> 00:26:48,467
Honey, how many times do I have
to tell you, if you want to do it

291
00:26:48,567 --> 00:26:51,230
off with the cufflinks.

292
00:26:52,237 --> 00:26:53,739
Cufflinks?

293
00:26:53,839 --> 00:26:55,608
I'm not wearing any cufflinks.

294
00:26:55,708 --> 00:26:58,543
Well, then what's scratching my neck?

295
00:27:09,689 --> 00:27:11,491
Morty, what is it?

296
00:27:11,591 --> 00:27:15,483
It's my first wife.
I told you the check's in the mail.

297
00:27:15,762 --> 00:27:18,892
You freaking skinny-legged yenta.

298
00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:21,668
That's it.

299
00:27:21,768 --> 00:27:23,931
No more Mr. Nice Guy.

300
00:27:25,438 --> 00:27:29,274
Why don't you go to work, old man?
We have nothing to eat.

301
00:27:31,212 --> 00:27:34,672
We do now. Look, a chicken!
A black chicken.

302
00:27:38,285 --> 00:27:39,743
Boil the water.

303
00:27:44,458 --> 00:27:46,327
Come back, black chicken!

304
00:27:46,427 --> 00:27:48,795
Give us an egg or something.

305
00:28:00,841 --> 00:28:02,710
Yesterday, dinosaurs

306
00:28:02,810 --> 00:28:06,648
and then elephants, and now, bats.
Well, why not?

307
00:28:06,748 --> 00:28:08,581
Hi there, little fellow.

308
00:28:35,444 --> 00:28:37,574
Are you all right, master?

309
00:28:37,814 --> 00:28:39,806
No, I'm not all right.

310
00:28:41,017 --> 00:28:43,612
What was that maniac drinking?

311
00:28:44,887 --> 00:28:47,949
Tastes like the Volga river at low tide.

312
00:28:49,058 --> 00:28:52,825
Let me help you out, master.
You'll be all right in a moment.

313
00:28:53,029 --> 00:28:55,897
No, Renfield, I'm finished. I'm through.

314
00:28:56,666 --> 00:29:00,194
I couldn't even scare
a field mouse at 20 meters.

315
00:29:00,470 --> 00:29:02,269
In a city where

316
00:29:02,438 --> 00:29:06,275
taxicab drivers live in little cages,
who's afraid of a bat anymore?

317
00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:08,211
Here, let me help you.

318
00:29:08,311 --> 00:29:11,648
I'm not even a bat. I'm a black chicken.

319
00:29:11,748 --> 00:29:14,048
I'm a yenta with skinny legs.

320
00:29:14,918 --> 00:29:17,752
Take your hands off me,
you myopic dwarf.

321
00:29:19,556 --> 00:29:21,625
Renfield, I am finished.

322
00:29:21,725 --> 00:29:24,561
Over, I'm a has-been. O-V-E-R.

323
00:29:24,661 --> 00:29:26,797
But master, you are Dracula,
son of Dracul.

324
00:29:26,897 --> 00:29:29,133
You've been the reigning
Prince of Darkness

325
00:29:29,233 --> 00:29:32,102
for over 700 glorious years.

326
00:29:32,202 --> 00:29:35,093
700 lonely years, Renfield.

327
00:29:36,640 --> 00:29:39,771
Lonely, master? Lonely?

328
00:29:40,310 --> 00:29:42,813
But I thought you were happy living

329
00:29:42,913 --> 00:29:44,749
I mean, dying

330
00:29:44,849 --> 00:29:47,052
I mean, existing all those years.

331
00:29:47,152 --> 00:29:49,821
I thought you were having fun.

332
00:29:49,921 --> 00:29:51,156
Fun?

333
00:29:51,256 --> 00:29:52,824
How would you like to go around

334
00:29:52,924 --> 00:29:56,416
dressed like a headwaiter
for the last 700 years.

335
00:29:57,262 --> 00:29:58,863
Just once, I'd like to go to dinner

336
00:29:58,963 --> 00:30:02,296
dressed in a turtleneck
and a sports jacket.

337
00:30:03,835 --> 00:30:05,224
Happy?

338
00:30:05,603 --> 00:30:09,541
How would you like to dine on nothing
but a warm liquid protein diet

339
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:11,910
while all around you,
people are eating

340
00:30:12,010 --> 00:30:13,678
lamb chops

341
00:30:13,778 --> 00:30:15,873
potato chips

342
00:30:15,980 --> 00:30:17,850
Mallomars.

343
00:30:17,950 --> 00:30:22,218
Chivas Regal on the rocks with a twist.

344
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,722
How would you like
to not have Christmas presents.

345
00:30:27,426 --> 00:30:29,191
Easter egg hunts.

346
00:30:29,595 --> 00:30:31,553
Garlic toast.

347
00:30:32,798 --> 00:30:33,966
No, Renfield

348
00:30:34,066 --> 00:30:36,769
help me back in the coffin.
I'm not going out tonight

349
00:30:36,869 --> 00:30:39,004
or any other night.
Yes, you are.

350
00:30:39,104 --> 00:30:41,107
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.

351
00:30:41,207 --> 00:30:42,875
Oh, yes, I am what, you idiot?

352
00:30:42,975 --> 00:30:45,070
Going out tonight, master.

353
00:30:49,281 --> 00:30:51,485
What is that? Another little bug?

354
00:30:51,585 --> 00:30:53,620
This is where she is tonight.

355
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,816
This is where she is every night.

356
00:30:58,191 --> 00:31:02,357
You got this from the head
of the modeling agency, didn't you?

357
00:31:03,330 --> 00:31:08,360
I got this from her secretary, when
I showed up at noon with my lunch pail.

358
00:31:10,136 --> 00:31:11,505
Another snake, Renfield?

359
00:31:11,605 --> 00:31:12,806
No, master.

360
00:31:12,906 --> 00:31:14,341
A scorpion, perhaps?

361
00:31:14,441 --> 00:31:16,376
No, better, master.

362
00:31:16,476 --> 00:31:19,479
What could be better
than a scorpion, Renfield?

363
00:31:19,579 --> 00:31:21,615
Six black widow spiders

364
00:31:21,715 --> 00:31:25,019
twelve fat earthworms
two hairy caterpillars

365
00:31:25,119 --> 00:31:29,787
on rye bread with a slice of onion.
A triple-decker!

366
00:31:32,159 --> 00:31:35,084
Was it something I said, master?

367
00:31:40,067 --> 00:31:41,435
Are you a member?

368
00:31:41,535 --> 00:31:43,766
I'm looking for somebody.

369
00:31:44,005 --> 00:31:45,667
Aren't we all?

370
00:33:06,523 --> 00:33:09,460
I'm telling you, Lisa,
he did a complete dump on her.

371
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,794
Good evening.

372
00:33:10,894 --> 00:33:13,864
Permit me to
No, thank you. I already ordered.

373
00:33:13,964 --> 00:33:16,400
She put him through four years
of medical school

374
00:33:16,500 --> 00:33:18,836
two years of residency,
and a year of internship

375
00:33:18,936 --> 00:33:20,771
and now he won't even take her calls.

376
00:33:20,871 --> 00:33:23,240
I tell you, my way's better.
You meet him, dig him

377
00:33:23,340 --> 00:33:26,240
you ball him once
and then adios, muchacho.

378
00:33:27,878 --> 00:33:29,267
Lisa?

379
00:33:33,250 --> 00:33:35,550
I am not a waiter.

380
00:33:36,019 --> 00:33:37,944
I am an admirer.

381
00:33:39,257 --> 00:33:40,954
Permit me to

382
00:33:41,192 --> 00:33:43,184
Go ahead. Have a seat.

383
00:33:47,532 --> 00:33:49,134
Don't tell me, let me guess.

384
00:33:49,234 --> 00:33:54,469
Let's see, you are either a magician
or you're into handwriting analysis, right?

385
00:33:54,906 --> 00:33:56,295
Neither.

386
00:33:56,841 --> 00:33:59,344
I've adored you from afar,
Cindy Sondheim.

387
00:33:59,444 --> 00:34:01,479
How did you know my name?

388
00:34:01,579 --> 00:34:05,210
How does one know
the wind's name is Mariah?

389
00:34:05,750 --> 00:34:07,981
You're weird. You know that?

390
00:34:08,686 --> 00:34:12,022
Look into my eyes
and tell me what you see.

391
00:34:13,225 --> 00:34:16,890
They're bloodshot and you had
too much to drink last night.

392
00:34:17,062 --> 00:34:20,556
What else?
I don't know.

393
00:34:20,900 --> 00:34:22,501
You tell me.

394
00:34:22,601 --> 00:34:24,229
Love.

395
00:34:25,838 --> 00:34:27,398
I love you.

396
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:30,543
And I can give you eternal life.

397
00:34:30,643 --> 00:34:34,513
Shit. I knew it, an insurance salesman.
I've already got Prudential.

398
00:34:34,613 --> 00:34:37,650
I am Count Vladimir Dracula.
I do not sell life insurance.

399
00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:40,252
Don't get so hostile.
I mean, you walk over here

400
00:34:40,352 --> 00:34:42,688
and you start to tell me you love me?
How could you?

401
00:34:42,788 --> 00:34:45,359
You don't even know me.
Maybe the only thing you know

402
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:47,928
is I don't want to get married,
or something like that.

403
00:34:48,028 --> 00:34:50,419
I know many things about you.

404
00:34:51,264 --> 00:34:53,325
Secret things.

405
00:34:54,201 --> 00:34:55,727
Really?

406
00:34:57,571 --> 00:34:59,272
Like what?

407
00:34:59,372 --> 00:35:00,761
Like

408
00:35:02,008 --> 00:35:04,933
you enjoy having your ankles licked.

409
00:35:08,648 --> 00:35:10,037
Listen

410
00:35:10,784 --> 00:35:13,277
maybe we can go back to my place.

411
00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:16,381
Or your place? Whichever.

412
00:35:16,924 --> 00:35:19,189
I can't believe I said that.

413
00:37:15,813 --> 00:37:17,737
Come on in.

414
00:37:20,951 --> 00:37:22,978
Can I get you anything?

415
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,010
A broom, perhaps.

416
00:37:25,656 --> 00:37:27,525
I hate housework. It killed my mother.

417
00:37:27,625 --> 00:37:30,050
I'll see you in a minute.
I'll be right back.

418
00:37:30,629 --> 00:37:32,860
Make yourself comfortable.

419
00:38:10,202 --> 00:38:12,297
Room 903, please.

420
00:38:15,274 --> 00:38:18,302
What time does the sun rise
in the morning?

421
00:38:18,444 --> 00:38:19,833
6:48?

422
00:38:20,646 --> 00:38:23,649
I want you to call me at 6:00.

423
00:38:23,749 --> 00:38:25,639
A wake-up call.

424
00:38:31,357 --> 00:38:34,487
Something sexy

425
00:38:44,705 --> 00:38:46,367
Et voilà.

426
00:38:47,074 --> 00:38:49,908
What do you think of the real me?

427
00:38:55,682 --> 00:38:56,717
I'll be right out there.

428
00:38:56,817 --> 00:38:58,652
I've got the thing
to put us in the mood.

429
00:38:58,752 --> 00:39:01,279
Hold on. Don't go anywhere.

430
00:39:02,756 --> 00:39:05,025
So that's where you've been
for the last two days.

431
00:39:05,125 --> 00:39:08,187
And I thought you were lost,
you little devil.

432
00:39:08,428 --> 00:39:10,056
There you go.

433
00:39:58,580 --> 00:39:59,969
Hi.

434
00:40:01,817 --> 00:40:07,154
I got us some champagne and a little
Maui Waui. Really heavy shit.

435
00:40:07,589 --> 00:40:10,753
I do not drink wine

436
00:40:11,193 --> 00:40:13,720
and I do not smoke shit.

437
00:40:17,967 --> 00:40:19,766
So much for that.

438
00:40:20,370 --> 00:40:21,759
How sweet.

439
00:40:22,472 --> 00:40:24,040
I've got just the thing for you.

440
00:40:24,140 --> 00:40:27,143
We'll get you a half a lude,
a Perrier water, a twist of lime

441
00:40:27,243 --> 00:40:29,804
and a Perc chaser. Perfect.
I'll be right back.

442
00:40:34,450 --> 00:40:37,842
There's just one thing
I want to tell you before we do it.

443
00:40:49,566 --> 00:40:51,730
This is purely physical.

444
00:40:51,969 --> 00:40:54,338
I don't expect to see you
after tonight

445
00:40:54,438 --> 00:40:57,830
and you are not obliged to call me,
there is no commitment.

446
00:40:57,975 --> 00:40:59,810
Are you listening to me?
No.

447
00:40:59,910 --> 00:41:00,945
Why not?

448
00:41:01,045 --> 00:41:03,514
Because you're not saying anything
we want to hear.

449
00:41:03,614 --> 00:41:05,538
I don't know what you mean.

450
00:41:05,916 --> 00:41:08,784
I'm just trying to be honest.
Don't be honest.

451
00:41:09,253 --> 00:41:10,813
What should I be?

452
00:41:11,522 --> 00:41:13,014
Beautiful.

453
00:41:14,225 --> 00:41:16,058
Be romantic.

454
00:41:17,428 --> 00:41:18,429
Be mine.

455
00:41:18,529 --> 00:41:21,465
There's just one more thing,
I'm not on the pill.

456
00:41:21,565 --> 00:41:24,569
They were giving me migraines.
But I'm all right. I mean

457
00:41:24,669 --> 00:41:28,740
I'll be all right from the 14th to the 19th,
and today's the 16th, right?

458
00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,732
Is it the 16th?
I'm not sure if it's the 16th.

459
00:41:33,178 --> 00:41:35,273
What are you doing?

460
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:38,344
That's so kinky! Are you biting me?

461
00:41:52,797 --> 00:41:54,599
I don't know, Jeffery.

462
00:41:54,699 --> 00:41:57,295
It just wasn't like what we have.

463
00:41:57,603 --> 00:42:01,674
You mean, dinner, the movies,
occasional sex to relieve anxieties.

464
00:42:01,774 --> 00:42:04,108
More than that?
More, it was

465
00:42:04,577 --> 00:42:05,845
It was wild

466
00:42:05,945 --> 00:42:07,607
it was crazed.

467
00:42:09,782 --> 00:42:13,252
It was the most unbelievable
sexual fulfillment

468
00:42:13,352 --> 00:42:15,583
I've ever experienced.

469
00:42:16,622 --> 00:42:19,992
Why don't you come to the office
next Monday for a shot of penicillin?

470
00:42:20,092 --> 00:42:23,162
Don't be snide, Jeffery.
I want to get to the bottom of this.

471
00:42:23,262 --> 00:42:24,864
All right, let's analyze this.

472
00:42:24,964 --> 00:42:27,533
That's what I'm here for.
That's right.

473
00:42:27,633 --> 00:42:29,022
Let's see

474
00:42:29,302 --> 00:42:32,472
the first time this happened,
you blamed it on low blood sugar.

475
00:42:32,572 --> 00:42:35,236
The glucose tolerance test

476
00:42:36,243 --> 00:42:39,546
which I paid for, proved negative.

477
00:42:39,646 --> 00:42:42,916
The time before that, you said
you were having a double-crisis day

478
00:42:43,016 --> 00:42:45,419
according to your biorhythm chart.
I was.

479
00:42:45,519 --> 00:42:48,021
You were? No

480
00:42:48,121 --> 00:42:51,425
last night you were on a
definite optimistic upswing.

481
00:42:51,525 --> 00:42:53,861
That's true.
So much for that bullshit.

482
00:42:53,961 --> 00:42:56,463
Doctor, I think
you're losing your objectivity.

483
00:42:56,563 --> 00:42:57,531
Really?
Yes.

484
00:42:57,631 --> 00:42:59,633
Moving right along,
the time before that

485
00:42:59,733 --> 00:43:02,436
you claimed the CIA had planted
a mind-bending drug

486
00:43:02,536 --> 00:43:06,040
in your feminine hygiene spray.
But we checked it out

487
00:43:06,140 --> 00:43:07,973
they never heard of you.

488
00:43:08,343 --> 00:43:10,870
So what's left?

489
00:43:11,145 --> 00:43:15,850
What is it that causes you to behave
with such rampant promiscuity

490
00:43:15,950 --> 00:43:19,410
little Miss Hot Pants?

491
00:43:22,457 --> 00:43:25,660
It couldn't be that?
What, Jeffery?

492
00:43:25,760 --> 00:43:28,296
Spit it out. Just say it.

493
00:43:28,396 --> 00:43:31,032
Well, either you're angry with me

494
00:43:31,132 --> 00:43:35,570
because of my ambivalence about
committing to a definitive relationship

495
00:43:35,670 --> 00:43:36,772
after nine years.

496
00:43:36,872 --> 00:43:42,107
Or, this is probably the case here

497
00:43:42,444 --> 00:43:44,413
it's a fantasy.

498
00:43:44,513 --> 00:43:45,881
A fantasy?
Yeah.

499
00:43:45,981 --> 00:43:47,905
You call this a fantasy?

500
00:43:48,517 --> 00:43:51,579
Did you ever see a dynamite hickey
like that before?

501
00:43:54,089 --> 00:43:55,478
Well?

502
00:43:59,028 --> 00:44:02,556
Oh, my God!
What?

503
00:44:03,499 --> 00:44:05,501
No!
What?

504
00:44:05,601 --> 00:44:08,203
No, it can't be.
It can't be what?

505
00:44:08,303 --> 00:44:12,075
Dracula!
How did you know his name?

506
00:44:12,175 --> 00:44:13,843
Dracula, alive.

507
00:44:13,943 --> 00:44:16,980
Of course he's alive. I told you,
I was just with him last night.

508
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:19,948
Cindy, darling
What?

509
00:44:20,417 --> 00:44:22,419
You met him a long time ago.

510
00:44:22,519 --> 00:44:25,945
You were a little girl.
He was a very great man.

511
00:44:26,089 --> 00:44:30,983
Count Dracula?
No, my grandfather, Dr. Fritz Van Helsing.

512
00:44:31,461 --> 00:44:36,389
He was the first man
to discover the thing

513
00:44:36,766 --> 00:44:40,158
you slept with last night.
Thing? Excuse me.

514
00:44:40,937 --> 00:44:44,569
Last night, tell me,
how many times did he do it?

515
00:44:45,943 --> 00:44:48,746
Two and

516
00:44:48,846 --> 00:44:51,449
a half. I fell asleep.

517
00:44:51,549 --> 00:44:55,112
No, I mean,
how many times did he bite you?

518
00:44:59,256 --> 00:45:00,645
Just once.

519
00:45:00,958 --> 00:45:03,260
I told you, it was our first date.

520
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,731
I was just sitting there, at the disco,
talking to Lisa on the phone

521
00:45:06,831 --> 00:45:08,220
Quiet.

522
00:45:10,534 --> 00:45:14,105
It was your first date
and your last date.

523
00:45:14,205 --> 00:45:17,336
Don't be ridiculous.
You're a jealous toad, Jeffery.

524
00:45:18,810 --> 00:45:21,940
Page 58, yes, here it is.

525
00:45:22,414 --> 00:45:26,750
Three bites from the vampire,
and the victim is doomed.

526
00:45:29,688 --> 00:45:33,859
Darling, if that monster
bites you two more times

527
00:45:33,959 --> 00:45:37,195
you will become a vampire,
a living corpse.

528
00:45:37,295 --> 00:45:40,766
Look, if last night was any indication
of what it's like to be a corpse

529
00:45:40,866 --> 00:45:43,257
it sure beats the hell out of living.

530
00:45:43,468 --> 00:45:45,971
Cindy, I'm serious.
Jeff, you're crazy.

531
00:45:46,071 --> 00:45:49,841
Vampires in New York City,
in the 20th century? Really!

532
00:45:49,941 --> 00:45:52,572
Sweetheart, darling

533
00:45:53,346 --> 00:45:54,735
trust me.

534
00:45:55,181 --> 00:45:58,982
Your life is in danger.
I almost love you.

535
00:45:59,585 --> 00:46:03,284
Can I just see him?
Meet him, with you, I mean?

536
00:46:03,389 --> 00:46:05,313
I don't know.

537
00:46:07,660 --> 00:46:11,030
He's meeting me for drinks at 8:00
and then he's taking me for dinner.

538
00:46:11,130 --> 00:46:13,794
Don't you screw it up.
No. Thank you.

539
00:46:16,335 --> 00:46:20,967
That's time.
Really? Already? Gee, time goes so fast.

540
00:46:23,644 --> 00:46:25,375
Where's my lighter?

541
00:46:26,680 --> 00:46:28,782
Sweetheart.
Yes?

542
00:46:28,882 --> 00:46:30,684
There's one other thing.

543
00:46:30,784 --> 00:46:33,982
You haven't paid
for any of these sessions

544
00:46:34,087 --> 00:46:35,852
in over a year.

545
00:46:36,690 --> 00:46:39,960
It's not for me.
The accountants are all over me

546
00:46:40,060 --> 00:46:42,792
and so I would like a little, you know.

547
00:46:43,230 --> 00:46:47,760
Oh, God, I forgot my checkbook.
It's on the sink, I remember.

548
00:46:50,637 --> 00:46:53,807
Jeffery, do you think it'd be all right
if I paid you Tuesday?

549
00:46:53,907 --> 00:46:55,676
I'll remember my checkbook on Tuesday.

550
00:46:55,776 --> 00:46:57,906
Sure, darling

551
00:46:58,112 --> 00:47:00,014
because you know what Freud said:

552
00:47:00,114 --> 00:47:02,851
If you don't pay for it,
you don't get better.

553
00:47:02,951 --> 00:47:04,953
I remember.

554
00:47:05,053 --> 00:47:08,889
Thank you, Jeffery. Bye.
Bye. Later, pumpkin.

555
00:47:12,794 --> 00:47:17,790
Dracula! Alive! In New York!

556
00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:21,161
I won't let him get her.

557
00:47:21,569 --> 00:47:22,958
I won't.

558
00:47:41,023 --> 00:47:43,592
Why don't you go and get yourself
something to eat

559
00:47:43,692 --> 00:47:45,491
and be back in an hour.

560
00:48:01,010 --> 00:48:03,105
Uncola for me, please.

561
00:48:03,279 --> 00:48:05,448
Well, where is he?
He'll be here.

562
00:48:05,548 --> 00:48:07,745
Another fly-by-night character.

563
00:48:09,452 --> 00:48:11,683
Good evening, my beauty.

564
00:48:14,257 --> 00:48:15,646
Roses.

565
00:48:16,559 --> 00:48:18,995
They're beautiful.

566
00:48:19,095 --> 00:48:22,293
Aren't they beautiful, Jeffery?
Flowers.

567
00:48:22,866 --> 00:48:25,029
Don't touch the thorns.

568
00:48:25,568 --> 00:48:29,639
Vladimir, I'd like to introduce you
to my psychiatrist, Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg.

569
00:48:29,739 --> 00:48:31,575
Jeffery, Count Dracula.

570
00:48:31,675 --> 00:48:34,509
It's a pleasure to meet you,
Dr. Rosenberg.

571
00:48:34,744 --> 00:48:38,449
Likewise, Count.
Please call me Vladimir.

572
00:48:38,549 --> 00:48:40,849
And I will call you Shrink.

573
00:48:41,118 --> 00:48:42,815
We are in America.

574
00:48:44,088 --> 00:48:45,923
Did you have a nice day, my beauty?

575
00:48:46,023 --> 00:48:48,626
René ran my ass off all day.

576
00:48:48,726 --> 00:48:52,196
He may be the best photographer
in New York City, but he's still a bitch.

577
00:48:52,296 --> 00:48:54,832
They've a right to their life.
Yes, I know, Jeffery.

578
00:48:54,932 --> 00:48:58,236
They love in their way, we love in ours,
who's to say which is right?

579
00:48:58,336 --> 00:49:01,872
By the 21st century, homosexuality
will probably be the normal lifestyle.

580
00:49:01,972 --> 00:49:03,839
Excellent. Cigarette?

581
00:49:07,611 --> 00:49:10,070
I do not smoke! Thank you very much.

582
00:49:11,183 --> 00:49:13,380
The mirror is broken.

583
00:49:13,719 --> 00:49:16,246
A small accident. Forgive me, Doctor.

584
00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:19,391
I almost forgot,
I bought you something, too, darling.

585
00:49:19,491 --> 00:49:22,728
Really? For me? How sweet. What is it?

586
00:49:22,828 --> 00:49:26,391
It's a good-luck necklace.
Thank you.

587
00:49:28,433 --> 00:49:30,198
It's very interesting.

588
00:49:30,702 --> 00:49:34,339
Oh, God, it smells awful.
Yes. It's made of garlic.

589
00:49:34,439 --> 00:49:37,330
Garlic? I don't think
that's funny, Jeffery.

590
00:49:40,679 --> 00:49:43,048
You're getting to be a bore, Rosenberg.

591
00:49:43,148 --> 00:49:46,853
Von Helsing, Count Dracula.
My grandfather was Dr. Fritz Van Helsing.

592
00:49:46,953 --> 00:49:49,489
I changed my name to Rosenberg
for professional reasons.

593
00:49:49,589 --> 00:49:52,191
He practiced in London.
Is the name familiar to you?

594
00:49:52,291 --> 00:49:55,228
Van Helsing! I should have known.

595
00:49:55,328 --> 00:49:58,431
Your grandfather was a very wise man.

596
00:49:58,531 --> 00:50:01,901
But unfortunately for him, I was wiser.

597
00:50:02,001 --> 00:50:06,205
Yes, but the race goes on.
What the hell are you men talking about?

598
00:50:06,305 --> 00:50:09,275
Are you stoned, Jeffery?
Did you sneak a joint out of my purse?

599
00:50:09,375 --> 00:50:11,978
Let him continue, he is most amusing.

600
00:50:12,078 --> 00:50:14,547
You won't find this amusing, Count.

601
00:50:14,647 --> 00:50:19,453
What have you there, some wolfsbane?
Something more powerful than wolfsbane.

602
00:50:19,553 --> 00:50:22,615
Well, Count, what do you say to that?

603
00:50:25,793 --> 00:50:30,687
I would say, leave Cindy alone, and find
yourself a nice Jewish girl, Doctor.

604
00:50:31,365 --> 00:50:36,429
Shit! It's the other one, isn't it?
Good evening, Dr. Rosenberg.

605
00:50:36,970 --> 00:50:40,474
Better luck next time.
One last thing.

606
00:50:40,574 --> 00:50:42,810
I have no more time for games,
Dr. Rosenberg.

607
00:50:42,910 --> 00:50:47,337
Look into my eyes,
Count Vladimir Dracula.

608
00:50:47,481 --> 00:50:50,976
Look deeply into my eyes.

609
00:50:51,419 --> 00:50:54,055
You are getting sleepy.

610
00:50:54,155 --> 00:50:56,858
Knock it off, Jeffery. I'm starving.

611
00:50:56,958 --> 00:51:00,495
I'm going to have you find the truth
out about this man one way or another.

612
00:51:00,595 --> 00:51:04,999
Sleepier and sleepier.

613
00:51:05,099 --> 00:51:08,069
Do not teach your grandmother
how to suck eggs, Rosenberg.

614
00:51:08,169 --> 00:51:12,374
It is you who is getting sleepier
and sleepier.

615
00:51:12,474 --> 00:51:17,436
You are falling into a deep sleep.

616
00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:22,816
Pleasant, warm.

617
00:51:23,552 --> 00:51:25,283
Close your eyes.

618
00:51:26,255 --> 00:51:29,123
Soon you will be under my power.

619
00:51:29,458 --> 00:51:33,262
Look it, I can't stand much more
of this competitive macho shit

620
00:51:33,362 --> 00:51:34,397
you guys, I'm warning you.

621
00:51:34,497 --> 00:51:39,568
Sleepier and sleepier, Count.

622
00:51:39,668 --> 00:51:44,164
Drowsier and drowsier, Rosenberg.

623
00:51:45,040 --> 00:51:48,511
You're almost asleep by now.

624
00:51:48,611 --> 00:51:51,881
No, you are.
No, you are.

625
00:51:51,981 --> 00:51:54,406
You are.
No, you are.

626
00:51:55,584 --> 00:51:58,510
I'm going home.

627
00:52:01,992 --> 00:52:03,760
Sleep.

628
00:52:03,860 --> 00:52:06,228
Are you gentlemen
Sleep!

629
00:52:07,130 --> 00:52:08,622
Sleep.

630
00:52:23,013 --> 00:52:24,314
Who's there?

631
00:52:24,414 --> 00:52:26,516
Cindy!

632
00:52:26,616 --> 00:52:27,784
Oh, it's you.

633
00:52:27,884 --> 00:52:29,886
Why don't you just go back
to the Plaza

634
00:52:29,986 --> 00:52:32,590
and play your little
boy games with Jeffery.

635
00:52:32,690 --> 00:52:34,182
Open the door.

636
00:52:34,358 --> 00:52:38,558
I can't. I have company.
I don't want to be disturbed.

637
00:52:45,970 --> 00:52:50,170
Very cute. I told you,
I've got a man in here.

638
00:52:53,277 --> 00:52:54,946
Now you do.

639
00:52:55,046 --> 00:52:57,548
Why, you arrogant S.O.B.

640
00:52:57,648 --> 00:53:01,142
I'm Dracula, a great power

641
00:53:01,552 --> 00:53:04,148
and yet I'm humbled before you.

642
00:53:05,724 --> 00:53:09,795
You're the only woman I've ever loved.
You belong to me.

643
00:53:09,895 --> 00:53:13,499
Look it, I'm not your slave.
Now, I've asked you nicely to leave.

644
00:53:13,599 --> 00:53:15,762
Now I'm going to call the police.

645
00:53:17,369 --> 00:53:18,758
I mean it.

646
00:53:23,675 --> 00:53:26,009
You sought experience

647
00:53:26,178 --> 00:53:28,068
and none has satisfied you.

648
00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:31,817
You long for something wild
and overpowering

649
00:53:31,917 --> 00:53:34,182
to sweep you beyond thought.

650
00:53:43,830 --> 00:53:47,996
I heard a rooster crow.
A rooster? In New York City?

651
00:53:52,438 --> 00:53:56,175
It is late. I must go.
Wait a minute. Come on.

652
00:53:56,275 --> 00:53:59,769
We could go to bed,
maybe get in a little quickie?

653
00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:07,050
No. With you, never a quickie.

654
00:54:07,553 --> 00:54:10,115
Always, a longie.

655
00:54:11,592 --> 00:54:12,893
Until tonight.

656
00:54:12,993 --> 00:54:16,726
Hey, when you come back tonight,
it's okay to use the front door.

657
00:55:28,671 --> 00:55:31,107
I'm telling you, I didn't do it.

658
00:55:31,207 --> 00:55:34,599
You gotta get it right, man.
Take it easy!

659
00:55:37,713 --> 00:55:39,512
Who's in charge here?

660
00:55:42,218 --> 00:55:43,915
Thank you.

661
00:55:47,623 --> 00:55:52,429
I'm sorry, Lieutenant, please let me go.
I swear I'll never do it again.

662
00:55:52,529 --> 00:55:54,624
It was just one hubcap.

663
00:55:55,532 --> 00:55:59,299
Yeah, sure. What about the other three?

664
00:55:59,703 --> 00:56:02,765
Now, you tell me the names
of the boys in the gang

665
00:56:02,939 --> 00:56:05,500
and maybe I'll give you a break.

666
00:56:05,609 --> 00:56:09,713
I don't know their names.
I just met them walking down the street.

667
00:56:09,813 --> 00:56:12,147
And you know we all look alike.

668
00:56:13,583 --> 00:56:18,010
Smart ass. Russell, I'm gonna throw
the book at you.

669
00:56:20,824 --> 00:56:24,319
Just a minute, Lieutenant.
Who the hell are you?

670
00:56:25,563 --> 00:56:28,363
I just happen to be
a doctor of psychiatry.

671
00:56:32,570 --> 00:56:35,097
I think this boy's telling the truth.

672
00:56:35,873 --> 00:56:38,409
I think he knows what he's done
and he's sorry.

673
00:56:38,509 --> 00:56:40,376
Well, let me tell you

674
00:56:40,745 --> 00:56:43,581
today, Corvette hubcaps and tomorrow

675
00:56:43,681 --> 00:56:46,606
Chase Manhattan Bank goes up in smoke,
that's right.

676
00:56:47,752 --> 00:56:49,449
Russell

677
00:56:50,221 --> 00:56:52,612
I want you to take this.

678
00:56:52,824 --> 00:56:55,426
Go to this clinic
next Tuesday at 9:00

679
00:56:55,526 --> 00:56:59,556
ask for Dr. Shapiro,
and you tell him that I sent you.

680
00:57:00,232 --> 00:57:04,159
Is that agreed?
Yes, sir. Thank you.

681
00:57:07,873 --> 00:57:11,538
Lieutenant, unlock the handcuffs.

682
00:57:13,512 --> 00:57:15,038
Are you sure?

683
00:57:15,247 --> 00:57:18,275
There are no guarantees, Lieutenant,
only chances.

684
00:57:18,984 --> 00:57:22,148
Okay, you must know, you're the doc.

685
00:57:22,888 --> 00:57:25,779
Russell, if you make a monkey
out of me

686
00:57:26,091 --> 00:57:28,152
I want you to get out of here.

687
00:57:28,260 --> 00:57:30,697
Don't want you to ever
come back here again

688
00:57:30,797 --> 00:57:32,899
unless you're selling
Girl Scout cookies, okay?

689
00:57:32,999 --> 00:57:37,337
Girl Scout cookies, Boy Scout cookies,
oatmeal cookies, sugar cookies

690
00:57:37,437 --> 00:57:40,440
anything you want. I know
where the guy parks his truck at night.

691
00:57:40,540 --> 00:57:43,568
And I'll At a discount.
No, for free, both of you.

692
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:49,816
Do you feel better?

693
00:57:49,916 --> 00:57:53,520
Yes, I do. It's crazy, I know,
but I really do.

694
00:57:53,620 --> 00:57:55,009
So do I.

695
00:57:56,823 --> 00:58:00,860
I almost forgot why I came in here.
Oh, yeah? What's up, doc?

696
00:58:00,960 --> 00:58:03,697
A little joke I
It just feels so good.

697
00:58:03,797 --> 00:58:06,767
Lieutenant,
my name is Dr. Jeffery Rosenberg

698
00:58:06,867 --> 00:58:10,337
and I want to talk to you about a man
who sucks the blood out of people.

699
00:58:10,437 --> 00:58:12,805
Loan shark? What's his name?

700
00:58:13,274 --> 00:58:17,978
No, this is no loan shark.
This is a vampire.

701
00:58:18,078 --> 00:58:19,313
Vampire?

702
00:58:19,413 --> 00:58:20,548
A vampire.

703
00:58:20,648 --> 00:58:23,744
His name is Dracula, Count Dracula.

704
00:58:24,618 --> 00:58:29,955
And he bites people in the neck
and he drinks their blood.

705
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,349
O'Brien.

706
00:58:37,031 --> 00:58:39,533
Get that rotten kid back in here.
Quickly.

707
00:58:39,633 --> 00:58:42,126
Somebody. Murphy.

708
00:58:42,570 --> 00:58:45,473
We're gonna need
all the help we can get.

709
00:58:45,573 --> 00:58:48,676
Get this crazy psycho out of here
before I kill him. Get him out!

710
00:58:48,776 --> 00:58:50,144
Wait.

711
00:58:50,244 --> 00:58:53,781
It's very hard to believe this, I know.
It's a difficult thing to believe.

712
00:58:53,881 --> 00:58:54,882
Out!

713
00:58:54,982 --> 00:58:56,617
They wouldn't believe my grandfather.

714
00:58:56,717 --> 00:58:58,516
Get him out!

715
00:59:04,658 --> 00:59:07,891
Can I help you with it, sir?
No, that's fine.

716
00:59:08,162 --> 00:59:09,620
Thank you.

717
00:59:10,399 --> 00:59:11,788
Thank you.

718
00:59:15,303 --> 00:59:18,073
I'm sure you'll find everything
to your satisfaction, sir.

719
00:59:18,173 --> 00:59:19,608
I'm sure I will.

720
00:59:19,708 --> 00:59:22,110
If there's anything you need,
my name is Billy.

721
00:59:22,210 --> 00:59:23,879
Hello, Billy.

722
00:59:23,979 --> 00:59:26,949
I got everything I need right here
in this little old bag.

723
00:59:27,049 --> 00:59:28,917
If you catch my meaning, Billy.

724
00:59:29,017 --> 00:59:30,884
You need ice?

725
00:59:32,287 --> 00:59:33,881
No ice.

726
00:59:33,989 --> 00:59:37,392
You won't be disturbed, sir.
You have a nice weekend.

727
00:59:37,492 --> 00:59:39,361
A nice long weekend.

728
00:59:39,461 --> 00:59:42,193
You, too, Billy.
Thank you, sir.

729
00:59:42,597 --> 00:59:44,329
Thank you.

730
01:00:01,417 --> 01:00:03,386
Every now and then

731
01:00:03,486 --> 01:00:05,054
it certainly helps

732
01:00:05,154 --> 01:00:08,182
to have a patient doing five to 10

733
01:00:08,624 --> 01:00:10,548
for breaking

734
01:00:10,693 --> 01:00:12,492
and entering.

735
01:00:29,213 --> 01:00:31,103
Can I really do this?

736
01:00:31,348 --> 01:00:33,584
A Freudian wouldn't do this.

737
01:00:33,684 --> 01:00:37,144
A Jungian would do this.
A Reichian would do this.

738
01:00:37,321 --> 01:00:39,450
But I'm a Freudian.

739
01:00:43,760 --> 01:00:46,253
But I'm also a Van Helsing.

740
01:00:51,436 --> 01:00:55,363
In the name of all the Van Helsings
who have ever lived.

741
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:59,000
Burn, baby, burn.

742
01:01:03,581 --> 01:01:05,505
Who's smoking?

743
01:01:11,589 --> 01:01:14,192
This is a perfect example

744
01:01:14,292 --> 01:01:17,422
of a man taking charge of his own life.

745
01:01:17,962 --> 01:01:19,731
And I feel

746
01:01:19,831 --> 01:01:21,255
pretty good.

747
01:01:29,742 --> 01:01:31,666
Fire. Room 903.

748
01:01:33,512 --> 01:01:35,539
Master.

749
01:01:41,921 --> 01:01:43,889
Let it burn!

750
01:01:43,989 --> 01:01:46,559
We got to run, guy. Come on.

751
01:01:46,659 --> 01:01:49,926
Let it burn! Let it burn!

752
01:01:50,062 --> 01:01:52,898
Let me go! I'm a doctor.

753
01:01:52,998 --> 01:01:55,263
I know what I'm doing.

754
01:01:59,940 --> 01:02:02,109
See, he's a vampire.

755
01:02:02,209 --> 01:02:04,744
And he's got to be destroyed. He's filth.

756
01:02:04,844 --> 01:02:06,546
Decadence. He's unclean.

757
01:02:06,646 --> 01:02:08,081
He's got to be destroyed.

758
01:02:08,181 --> 01:02:09,683
And you know what I think?

759
01:02:09,783 --> 01:02:12,385
I'm not sure about this,
but I suspect

760
01:02:12,485 --> 01:02:15,989
that he's better in bed
with my girl than I am!

761
01:02:16,089 --> 01:02:17,624
This guy has really flipped.

762
01:02:17,724 --> 01:02:19,591
Who's that for?

763
01:02:20,260 --> 01:02:22,423
It's not for me. Get the air bubble out.

764
01:02:30,304 --> 01:02:31,772
Dr. Donahue.

765
01:02:31,872 --> 01:02:34,001
Call 276.

766
01:02:47,455 --> 01:02:48,990
How are you?
I'm fine.

767
01:02:49,090 --> 01:02:51,726
Been keeping busy?
Let me see. What are you're doing?

768
01:02:51,826 --> 01:02:55,161
It's nothing. I'll show it to you
when it's finished.

769
01:02:55,363 --> 01:02:56,855
Okay.

770
01:02:57,265 --> 01:03:00,634
I picked up something for you to eat.

771
01:03:01,469 --> 01:03:04,566
Am I going to be in here that long?
No.

772
01:03:05,707 --> 01:03:10,669
I thought I ought to get a couple extra,
so the others wouldn't get upset.

773
01:03:11,813 --> 01:03:14,704
They are upset.
That's why they're in here.

774
01:03:15,617 --> 01:03:17,484
That's right.

775
01:03:18,120 --> 01:03:20,322
Listen, it's cool. Everything is cool.

776
01:03:20,422 --> 01:03:25,259
I talked to your answering service
and told them the doctor is on vacation.

777
01:03:25,961 --> 01:03:27,062
Marry me.

778
01:03:27,162 --> 01:03:28,163
Jeff, please.

779
01:03:28,263 --> 01:03:30,098
I've been thinking.
We should get married.

780
01:03:30,198 --> 01:03:32,034
You always said
I don't wanna get married.

781
01:03:32,134 --> 01:03:35,337
You do. I was gonna tell you Tuesday,
when you came into the office.

782
01:03:35,437 --> 01:03:38,107
I'm getting the house, Largemont,
22 minutes from midtown.

783
01:03:38,207 --> 01:03:40,810
Good schools. No tennis court,
but there's room for one.

784
01:03:40,910 --> 01:03:42,545
We'll love it there.

785
01:03:42,645 --> 01:03:43,746
Jeffery, please.

786
01:03:43,846 --> 01:03:46,082
A dog, you've always wanted one.
I found one.

787
01:03:46,182 --> 01:03:49,953
She's not spayed. I wanted to talk
about it first. Though I'm not Catholic

788
01:03:50,053 --> 01:03:52,555
Jeffery, you're getting hysterical!

789
01:03:52,655 --> 01:03:55,649
I know, I'm sorry.

790
01:03:56,092 --> 01:03:58,323
Okay. Cindy

791
01:03:58,961 --> 01:04:01,598
get me out of here quickly.
You know I'm not insane.

792
01:04:01,698 --> 01:04:03,122
All right.

793
01:04:03,866 --> 01:04:06,869
It's all been arranged.
But you've got to promise me to be good.

794
01:04:06,969 --> 01:04:09,030
No more carrying on!

795
01:04:12,376 --> 01:04:13,711
No, I'll be good.

796
01:04:13,811 --> 01:04:16,480
I'll be better than good.
I'll be perfect.

797
01:04:16,580 --> 01:04:18,382
No more fires?
No.

798
01:04:18,482 --> 01:04:21,518
No more possessive tantrums?
No.

799
01:04:21,618 --> 01:04:22,987
No more fires.

800
01:04:23,087 --> 01:04:25,648
I promise. No more fires.

801
01:04:26,924 --> 01:04:28,552
Promise?

802
01:04:28,692 --> 01:04:31,095
Okay, you'll be out of here in no time.

803
01:04:31,195 --> 01:04:33,264
Don't worry. Go back to your drawing.

804
01:04:33,364 --> 01:04:36,597
Visiting hours will be over
in 15 minutes, please.

805
01:04:38,969 --> 01:04:43,864
Attention. Visiting hours will be over
in 15 minutes, please.

806
01:04:58,923 --> 01:05:00,925
You did real well, Renfield.

807
01:05:01,025 --> 01:05:02,193
Thank you, master.

808
01:05:02,293 --> 01:05:06,493
A combination getaway car
and mobile home.

809
01:05:06,865 --> 01:05:10,435
When we get inside,
I want you to play it real cold.

810
01:05:10,535 --> 01:05:12,470
I believe that's real cool, master.

811
01:05:12,570 --> 01:05:14,665
Cool. Yeah.

812
01:05:15,006 --> 01:05:16,308
We're going to make a hoist.

813
01:05:16,408 --> 01:05:18,572
Heist.
Heist.

814
01:05:30,589 --> 01:05:32,458
I'm sorry, we're closed.

815
01:05:32,558 --> 01:05:34,794
We've come to make a withdrawal.

816
01:05:34,894 --> 01:05:38,730
We have a very sick man in the car
who needs blood desperately.

817
01:05:39,799 --> 01:05:41,791
That's a hearse!

818
01:05:42,301 --> 01:05:44,070
So maybe we're a bit late.

819
01:05:44,170 --> 01:05:46,561
I told you, we're closed.

820
01:05:46,839 --> 01:05:48,574
The only thing closed

821
01:05:48,674 --> 01:05:50,565
are your eyes.

822
01:05:57,617 --> 01:06:01,009
Fill out these cards and follow me.

823
01:06:08,428 --> 01:06:09,896
What type are you?

824
01:06:09,996 --> 01:06:11,498
Ruthless.

825
01:06:11,598 --> 01:06:14,334
We didn't come to give. We came to take.

826
01:06:14,434 --> 01:06:18,326
Give us all your blood
in small, unmarked bills.

827
01:06:18,472 --> 01:06:20,806
Master, that's bottles.

828
01:06:20,974 --> 01:06:22,602
Bottles.

829
01:06:22,976 --> 01:06:25,179
Of course. Forgive me.

830
01:06:25,279 --> 01:06:27,408
We are new at this.

831
01:06:28,649 --> 01:06:31,119
If you two freaks
don't get out of here

832
01:06:31,219 --> 01:06:34,055
I am going to scream my head off.

833
01:06:34,155 --> 01:06:38,150
If you scream loudly, they'll think
you are frightened by a mouse.

834
01:06:49,804 --> 01:06:52,764
Master, we hit the jackpot!

835
01:06:53,941 --> 01:06:55,501
Only in America.

836
01:06:56,777 --> 01:06:59,339
Plastic disposable bodies.

837
01:07:00,449 --> 01:07:02,618
It's like a supermarket.

838
01:07:02,718 --> 01:07:07,384
Master, it'll be wonderful at the reception
when you marry Miss Cindy.

839
01:07:07,990 --> 01:07:12,019
How they danced
on the night that they bled

840
01:07:12,661 --> 01:07:14,530
I propose a toast.

841
01:07:14,630 --> 01:07:16,930
Here's blood in your eye.

842
01:07:17,266 --> 01:07:19,998
Close your eyes and hope to die.

843
01:07:23,405 --> 01:07:26,239
Are you sure your eyes are closed?

844
01:07:32,482 --> 01:07:34,110
Open them now.

845
01:07:40,857 --> 01:07:43,092
Vladimir, that's lovely.

846
01:07:43,192 --> 01:07:44,194
What is that?

847
01:07:44,294 --> 01:07:45,528
A blood

848
01:07:45,628 --> 01:07:47,154
ruby.

849
01:07:49,165 --> 01:07:51,556
And what are those little birds?

850
01:07:51,701 --> 01:07:54,865
It's nothing.
A creature of the night. It flies.

851
01:08:02,145 --> 01:08:05,481
Must have been very expensive.
How did you afford it?

852
01:08:06,984 --> 01:08:10,182
I put a little away
for a very long time.

853
01:08:14,625 --> 01:08:17,255
What's wrong? You seem so sad.

854
01:08:18,429 --> 01:08:20,296
I don't know.

855
01:08:21,465 --> 01:08:25,130
I think I love you, Vladimir.

856
01:08:26,170 --> 01:08:29,403
And part of me
still wants to be independent.

857
01:08:30,641 --> 01:08:33,477
Part of me wants to be taken care of.

858
01:08:33,577 --> 01:08:36,845
And part of me would like to be
a wife and a mother.

859
01:08:39,584 --> 01:08:42,654
Part of me still thinks
I am just, like, an expensive whore

860
01:08:42,754 --> 01:08:47,352
who'd sell anything from dog food
to mouthwash for $1,000 a day.

861
01:08:48,627 --> 01:08:50,221
Oh, God!

862
01:08:50,328 --> 01:08:52,320
I'm so confused.

863
01:09:00,639 --> 01:09:03,735
You were born in the wrong time,
Cindy Sondheim.

864
01:09:04,509 --> 01:09:07,969
In the other age,
things were simpler, less complicated.

865
01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:13,981
Do you remember how many women had
nervous breakdowns in the 14th century?

866
01:09:14,387 --> 01:09:16,379
No.
Three.

867
01:09:17,056 --> 01:09:19,926
Why do you treat me so well, Vladimir?

868
01:09:20,026 --> 01:09:25,056
Without this face that I wake up every
morning looking for the first wrinkle

869
01:09:25,598 --> 01:09:26,766
I'm nothing.

870
01:09:26,866 --> 01:09:28,634
Do you think of me as special?

871
01:09:28,734 --> 01:09:30,269
Yes, of course.

872
01:09:30,369 --> 01:09:34,500
Then how can you think of yourself
as nothing if I love you?

873
01:09:35,007 --> 01:09:36,772
Besides

874
01:09:38,678 --> 01:09:40,613
I can arrange it

875
01:09:40,713 --> 01:09:44,515
so you never have to look
in a mirror again.

876
01:09:46,186 --> 01:09:48,255
I can arrange it so you can.

877
01:09:48,355 --> 01:09:50,991
The second way to kill a vampire, Count.

878
01:09:51,091 --> 01:09:53,327
Three silver bullets through the heart.

879
01:09:53,427 --> 01:09:54,953
Jeffery!

880
01:09:56,530 --> 01:09:58,192
No, Rosenberg.

881
01:09:58,665 --> 01:10:00,467
That is a werewolf.

882
01:10:00,567 --> 01:10:03,834
A werewolf. Really? Are you sure?

883
01:10:04,271 --> 01:10:07,207
No harm done. The man's all right.

884
01:10:07,307 --> 01:10:10,644
This was for a werewolf.
No problem. Calm down. Take it easy.

885
01:10:10,744 --> 01:10:13,013
I'm a doctor and I know what I'm doing.

886
01:10:13,113 --> 01:10:15,682
He's all right.
He's even got a little color.

887
01:10:15,782 --> 01:10:18,777
Not to worry, my dear.
It's a small annoyance.

888
01:10:29,831 --> 01:10:31,425
Who are you?

889
01:10:33,201 --> 01:10:35,103
Do you know,
whenever I'm with you, I see

890
01:10:35,203 --> 01:10:37,093
Places

891
01:10:37,638 --> 01:10:39,403
in my eyes

892
01:10:40,308 --> 01:10:43,108
that you've only seen in dreams.

893
01:10:44,011 --> 01:10:45,400
Yes.

894
01:10:47,081 --> 01:10:50,075
They've not been dreams.

895
01:10:52,888 --> 01:10:55,756
Nor do they ever have to be again.

896
01:11:06,401 --> 01:11:08,737
It's just incredible.

897
01:11:08,837 --> 01:11:11,228
I finally know what I want.

898
01:11:12,541 --> 01:11:14,568
What about your career?

899
01:11:15,144 --> 01:11:16,979
I don't know.

900
01:11:17,079 --> 01:11:19,748
Sometimes I think a career to a woman
is kind of like

901
01:11:19,848 --> 01:11:23,308
fooling around to a man.
I mean, it's a lot of fun.

902
01:11:24,721 --> 01:11:27,112
Till the right person comes along.

903
01:11:27,991 --> 01:11:30,222
What about Rosenberg?

904
01:11:31,528 --> 01:11:33,156
Jeffery.

905
01:11:35,565 --> 01:11:38,991
He just doesn't make me feel
the way you make me feel.

906
01:11:49,078 --> 01:11:51,036
What are you doing?

907
01:11:51,581 --> 01:11:53,505
What does it feel like I'm doing?

908
01:11:55,952 --> 01:11:57,877
Feels so cold.

909
01:12:01,091 --> 01:12:04,983
Finally after 712 years

910
01:12:05,496 --> 01:12:08,330
to have someone bite me again.

911
01:12:16,607 --> 01:12:18,142
You can see him now.

912
01:12:18,242 --> 01:12:21,873
Physical therapist,
please report to Room 264.

913
01:12:34,960 --> 01:12:36,349
Hi, Doc.

914
01:12:36,695 --> 01:12:38,255
Remember me?

915
01:12:38,797 --> 01:12:41,700
All of the victims had two
puncture marks on their necks.

916
01:12:41,800 --> 01:12:44,136
But no one could remember
how it happened.

917
01:12:44,236 --> 01:12:46,763
Absolutely! Dracula.

918
01:12:47,072 --> 01:12:50,842
Nothing was stolen
and no one was sexually molested.

919
01:12:50,942 --> 01:12:53,003
Turn to Page 46.

920
01:12:53,178 --> 01:12:55,781
Thirty years in the force,
never cracked a big one.

921
01:12:55,881 --> 01:12:58,049
And now here's my big chance.

922
01:12:58,149 --> 01:13:02,521
I have to go after a vampire.
Why couldn't it have been a drug bust?

923
01:13:02,621 --> 01:13:05,991
Although no one has ever
gone after a vampire before.

924
01:13:06,459 --> 01:13:08,451
No one has ever tried.

925
01:13:09,128 --> 01:13:10,263
Except me.

926
01:13:10,363 --> 01:13:13,833
So, after four victims
and the blood bank robbery

927
01:13:13,933 --> 01:13:16,733
Page 23, you finally believe me.

928
01:13:17,236 --> 01:13:19,536
I don't know what to believe, Doc.

929
01:13:20,106 --> 01:13:23,100
A lot of funny things
going down in this city.

930
01:13:23,676 --> 01:13:27,773
Not funny, Lieutenant!
Horrible. Messy. Unspeakable.

931
01:13:29,515 --> 01:13:30,483
Page 38.

932
01:13:30,583 --> 01:13:33,886
Come on, Ferguson.
Help me turn to Page 46.

933
01:13:33,986 --> 01:13:36,513
I'll do more than that, Doc.

934
01:13:37,357 --> 01:13:40,248
I'm going to get you out of here.
Come on.

935
01:13:40,761 --> 01:13:42,788
Leave everything to me.

936
01:14:05,285 --> 01:14:07,120
Oh, my God!

937
01:14:07,220 --> 01:14:10,959
I've lost her forever. He's drained
all the blood out of her. We're too late.

938
01:14:11,059 --> 01:14:13,595
Jeffery, will you calm down?
This is an herbal mask

939
01:14:13,695 --> 01:14:16,256
you've seen me wear it a million times.

940
01:14:16,364 --> 01:14:17,398
Herbal mask?

941
01:14:17,498 --> 01:14:22,503
Yes. But you're right, you're too late.
We're in love. Now get out of here.

942
01:14:22,603 --> 01:14:26,666
You call this love? Look at this.
Two sets of bites.

943
01:14:27,108 --> 01:14:29,244
I don't know.
It looks awfully small to me.

944
01:14:29,344 --> 01:14:30,912
You're sure that's not prickly heat?

945
01:14:31,012 --> 01:14:34,015
We've still got time to save her.
Come on, I know he's in there.

946
01:14:34,115 --> 01:14:35,116
No!
Get out of here.

947
01:14:35,216 --> 01:14:37,919
We can't go in without a search warrant.
You know the law.

948
01:14:38,019 --> 01:14:41,222
If we don't, her immortal soul
will be lost forever.

949
01:14:41,322 --> 01:14:45,056
And if we do, I lose my pension.
Come on. I know a friendly judge.

950
01:14:50,032 --> 01:14:51,467
Oh, Jeffery.

951
01:14:51,567 --> 01:14:55,037
Listen, we're getting married next week.
I'm registered at Bloomingdale's.

952
01:14:55,137 --> 01:14:59,341
I'm okay with crystal but I'm a little short
on china and silverware.

953
01:14:59,441 --> 01:15:01,604
You get nothing from me!

954
01:15:05,647 --> 01:15:07,249
Say what?

955
01:15:07,349 --> 01:15:10,386
A search warrant, Your Honor.
We need a search warrant right now.

956
01:15:10,486 --> 01:15:13,923
There's been a rash of bat bites in the city.
Maybe you've read about it.

957
01:15:14,023 --> 01:15:17,961
A blood bank robbery. And this girl has
these two red holes in her neck.

958
01:15:18,061 --> 01:15:20,697
We have reason to believe
this is the work of a vampire.

959
01:15:20,797 --> 01:15:22,098
A vampire.

960
01:15:22,198 --> 01:15:25,035
That's right. That's why we need
the warrant right now.

961
01:15:25,135 --> 01:15:29,039
So we can grab him
while he's still sleeping in his coffin.

962
01:15:29,139 --> 01:15:31,675
I cannot believe what I'm hearing.

963
01:15:31,775 --> 01:15:34,244
Your Honor,
let me shed some light on this.

964
01:15:34,344 --> 01:15:36,211
Listen, honky.

965
01:15:37,013 --> 01:15:38,448
Didn't you see Roots?

966
01:15:38,548 --> 01:15:39,749
I loved Roots.

967
01:15:39,849 --> 01:15:41,851
And Brima is a terrific dancer.

968
01:15:41,951 --> 01:15:43,820
You better believe it.

969
01:15:43,920 --> 01:15:46,523
And our people have come a long way

970
01:15:46,623 --> 01:15:51,195
for you to be coming in here
with that voodoo scary Dracula shit.

971
01:15:51,295 --> 01:15:54,799
Now I want you to haul ass
out of my courtroom

972
01:15:54,899 --> 01:15:57,068
before I really get mean.

973
01:15:57,168 --> 01:15:59,968
Your Honor, I'm a doctor of

974
01:16:04,108 --> 01:16:05,736
Look at this.

975
01:16:09,313 --> 01:16:10,414
It's him.

976
01:16:10,514 --> 01:16:13,314
Yeah. Or a rock group. Come on.

977
01:16:26,531 --> 01:16:27,899
Are you coming or aren't you?

978
01:16:27,999 --> 01:16:29,835
I can't do it, Doc.
I told you. I'm sorry.

979
01:16:29,935 --> 01:16:31,536
You bring him down. I'll do the rest.

980
01:16:31,636 --> 01:16:33,305
All right. You stay right here.

981
01:16:33,405 --> 01:16:35,067
Wait a minute.

982
01:16:36,308 --> 01:16:39,074
You may need this.
He's already dead.

983
01:16:51,857 --> 01:16:53,849
You can't come in!

984
01:16:54,559 --> 01:16:56,528
I'm in. Where is he?

985
01:16:56,628 --> 01:16:59,665
He's not here. Now, why don't you
leave us alone, for God's sake!

986
01:16:59,765 --> 01:17:02,395
Where is he? Where's his damn coffin?

987
01:17:02,702 --> 01:17:04,437
I know he's here somewhere.

988
01:17:04,537 --> 01:17:08,134
Who does this patent leather pump
belong to? Cinderella?

989
01:17:08,474 --> 01:17:11,707
He's in here somewhere
and I'll find him.

990
01:17:11,811 --> 01:17:14,213
It's me! I don't see
any pictures of him.

991
01:17:14,313 --> 01:17:16,616
You know why there are
no pictures of him?

992
01:17:16,716 --> 01:17:19,949
Because you can't
take any pictures of him. That's why.

993
01:17:21,988 --> 01:17:23,685
Here somewhere.

994
01:17:29,662 --> 01:17:33,200
So we meet again, Dr. Rosenberg.

995
01:17:33,300 --> 01:17:34,568
Where's your master?

996
01:17:34,668 --> 01:17:38,605
He's at the airport buying tickets
for our flight home tonight.

997
01:17:38,705 --> 01:17:41,208
Why did you tell him that?

998
01:17:41,308 --> 01:17:44,778
Because the bad guys always tell
the good guys what they're going to do

999
01:17:44,878 --> 01:17:46,914
just before they try to kill them.

1000
01:17:47,014 --> 01:17:48,916
He's absolutely right, Miss Cindy.

1001
01:17:49,016 --> 01:17:53,253
That's part of the rules, but in this case,
we are the good guys.

1002
01:17:53,353 --> 01:17:57,324
Shall we let history make that judgment?

1003
01:17:57,424 --> 01:18:01,061
Certainly, Rosenberg.

1004
01:18:01,161 --> 01:18:03,030
Is there anything else
you'd like to know?

1005
01:18:03,130 --> 01:18:04,966
Yes. Do you like centipedes?

1006
01:18:05,066 --> 01:18:06,067
Why do you ask?

1007
01:18:06,167 --> 01:18:08,536
There's a beautiful one
in front of your left foot.

1008
01:18:08,636 --> 01:18:10,162
Where?

1009
01:18:14,676 --> 01:18:18,204
And you call yourself a doctor.

1010
01:18:21,549 --> 01:18:22,717
Jeffery!

1011
01:18:22,817 --> 01:18:24,285
Come on. You're coming with me.

1012
01:18:24,385 --> 01:18:26,588
No, I'm not. Look it, I love him
and he loves me.

1013
01:18:26,688 --> 01:18:30,325
Why don't you just walk around the block
and explain that to yourself?

1014
01:18:30,425 --> 01:18:33,817
Okay. I'm sorry.
I've been way out of line here.

1015
01:18:34,062 --> 01:18:36,097
I'm really sorry.
You've seen the last of me.

1016
01:18:36,197 --> 01:18:38,623
All right. Sorry to see it end this way.

1017
01:18:38,734 --> 01:18:40,903
One way or the other, sister.

1018
01:18:41,003 --> 01:18:42,734
Nightie-night.

1019
01:19:00,022 --> 01:19:01,423
Please, God.

1020
01:19:01,523 --> 01:19:03,254
Not again.

1021
01:19:03,892 --> 01:19:07,557
Please don't mess with that big switch
up there in the sky.

1022
01:19:21,411 --> 01:19:22,937
Jet lag.

1023
01:19:30,820 --> 01:19:32,622
What's going on here?

1024
01:19:32,722 --> 01:19:33,823
Quiet!

1025
01:19:33,923 --> 01:19:36,593
It's another brown out. We're stuck.
Somebody got a match?

1026
01:19:36,693 --> 01:19:40,230
He's right. Relaxez-vous.
I got a lighter in my right-hand pocket.

1027
01:19:40,330 --> 01:19:44,030
Would one of you guys wanna reach in,
grab it, and flick my Bic?

1028
01:19:45,069 --> 01:19:46,561
Excuse me.

1029
01:19:46,671 --> 01:19:47,638
I've got it.

1030
01:19:47,738 --> 01:19:49,674
Well, the important thing
is not to panic.

1031
01:19:49,774 --> 01:19:51,842
Too many people in here.
Somebody's got to go.

1032
01:19:51,942 --> 01:19:55,368
What are you talking about?
This is an elevator, not a lifeboat.

1033
01:19:58,949 --> 01:20:00,839
Maurice.

1034
01:20:06,223 --> 01:20:08,181
Hello, honey.

1035
01:20:08,859 --> 01:20:10,385
Hello!

1036
01:20:12,930 --> 01:20:14,198
Animals.

1037
01:20:14,298 --> 01:20:16,393
People in a blackout become animals.

1038
01:20:26,445 --> 01:20:27,646
Renfield, where is she?

1039
01:20:27,746 --> 01:20:30,382
She's gone. Rosenberg took her.

1040
01:20:30,482 --> 01:20:31,617
Rosenberg. Where?

1041
01:20:31,717 --> 01:20:34,519
I don't know.
They only left a few moments ago.

1042
01:20:34,619 --> 01:20:38,216
Master, what are we to do now?
Where are we to go?

1043
01:20:38,757 --> 01:20:41,785
Airline tickets to romantic places.

1044
01:20:41,893 --> 01:20:44,529
London!
Dorchester Hotel.

1045
01:20:44,629 --> 01:20:47,497
England.
Just like the good old days.

1046
01:20:47,833 --> 01:20:49,393
Where am I?

1047
01:20:50,636 --> 01:20:52,805
What happened?
You tell her. Poor darling.

1048
01:20:52,905 --> 01:20:55,842
It's all right. Cindy, relax.
Everything is gonna be all right.

1049
01:20:55,942 --> 01:20:57,977
Long flight.
Now I remember.

1050
01:20:58,077 --> 01:21:00,546
Let go of me, Dr. Rosenberg.
I'm gonna scream.

1051
01:21:00,646 --> 01:21:04,717
No screaming. I'm becoming unglued
as it is. God, I think I'm gonna faint.

1052
01:21:04,817 --> 01:21:07,947
If you do, it'll have to be
standing up, fruitcake.

1053
01:21:18,598 --> 01:21:20,166
Vladimir!

1054
01:21:20,266 --> 01:21:22,602
I'm coming to save you.

1055
01:21:22,702 --> 01:21:24,695
We're gonna be saved!

1056
01:21:26,640 --> 01:21:27,641
You fools!

1057
01:21:27,741 --> 01:21:30,144
How stupid can you be?
That was the voice of Dracula.

1058
01:21:30,244 --> 01:21:32,880
Dracula who?
Dracula who?

1059
01:21:32,980 --> 01:21:36,016
Dracula, lady.
That blood-sucking vampire.

1060
01:21:36,116 --> 01:21:39,186
Haven't you read the newspapers?
He's on his way down here

1061
01:21:39,286 --> 01:21:42,723
for this girl, and after her,
God knows who's next.

1062
01:21:42,823 --> 01:21:44,952
Come on, let him have it.

1063
01:21:49,897 --> 01:21:52,666
Listen, can't believe
what's going on here.

1064
01:21:52,766 --> 01:21:54,635
Take care of your mother.
Bolt the doors.

1065
01:21:54,735 --> 01:21:58,867
If anybody breaks in, tell him
your father is cop, that'll scare him.

1066
01:21:59,274 --> 01:22:01,972
What are you doing?
It's for my den.

1067
01:22:02,610 --> 01:22:05,113
I hate Princess phones, don't you?

1068
01:22:05,213 --> 01:22:06,381
You can't do that.

1069
01:22:06,481 --> 01:22:08,348
Give me that back!

1070
01:22:08,683 --> 01:22:10,072
Lost my dime.

1071
01:22:11,152 --> 01:22:13,888
There.
Do not forget, lady. You owe us.

1072
01:22:13,988 --> 01:22:14,989
I won't.

1073
01:22:15,089 --> 01:22:17,692
Don't forget to tell them
we're here, darling.

1074
01:22:17,792 --> 01:22:18,993
Now remember, honey

1075
01:22:19,093 --> 01:22:21,262
Mrs. Knockwood in 14B.

1076
01:22:21,362 --> 01:22:23,559
Please, turn off the pot roast.

1077
01:22:29,337 --> 01:22:32,138
Quickly, my darling. Hold on tight.

1078
01:22:33,542 --> 01:22:37,046
Honey, can we stop by the apartment
so I can pack a little overnight bag?

1079
01:22:37,146 --> 01:22:40,140
Of course, my darling.
Which floor is it?

1080
01:22:42,685 --> 01:22:44,245
We're saved!

1081
01:22:49,525 --> 01:22:53,662
Listen, kid.
I'm sorry about that, you know.

1082
01:22:53,762 --> 01:22:55,364
You kind of went bananas.

1083
01:22:55,464 --> 01:22:59,201
Look, if you ever need me
anytime of the day or night

1084
01:22:59,301 --> 01:23:01,971
I'm right across the street
at St. Vincent's.

1085
01:23:02,071 --> 01:23:04,708
Such a nice Jewish boy. A doctor, yet.

1086
01:23:04,808 --> 01:23:07,511
Why you need a meshugennah blonde
like that for?

1087
01:23:07,611 --> 01:23:10,809
My sister Lina, she has a daughter.

1088
01:23:12,749 --> 01:23:13,917
Ferguson.

1089
01:23:14,017 --> 01:23:16,586
I had her, but he took her
up the elevator shaft.

1090
01:23:16,686 --> 01:23:19,850
All right. What goes up
must come down. Come on.

1091
01:23:20,257 --> 01:23:23,182
You're all under arrest.
Every one of you!

1092
01:23:29,633 --> 01:23:32,202
Get your $10 flashlight.
How about it, sir?

1093
01:23:32,302 --> 01:23:34,204
$10 for a flashlight?

1094
01:23:34,304 --> 01:23:37,469
Supply and demand.
I'm a cop, you know.

1095
01:23:38,175 --> 01:23:41,712
$2 for a flashlight.
Get your $2 flashlights.

1096
01:23:41,812 --> 01:23:43,907
Where the hell are they?

1097
01:23:47,184 --> 01:23:50,488
Gentlemen, could you tell me exactly
what you did during the blackout?

1098
01:23:50,588 --> 01:23:52,957
Is this local or network?
Local.

1099
01:23:53,057 --> 01:23:55,254
Live or tape?
Live.

1100
01:23:55,426 --> 01:23:58,529
There's a vampire loose in the city.

1101
01:23:58,629 --> 01:24:03,267
Lock up your wives, your sisters,
your daughters, and your sweethearts.

1102
01:24:03,367 --> 01:24:04,502
No!

1103
01:24:04,602 --> 01:24:06,404
This is Edward Calvin reporting

1104
01:24:06,504 --> 01:24:09,065
He's already got my girl.
Come on.

1105
01:24:09,574 --> 01:24:11,272
There they are.

1106
01:24:14,413 --> 01:24:15,802
Come on.

1107
01:24:16,982 --> 01:24:18,617
reporting on the street coverage

1108
01:24:18,717 --> 01:24:20,385
Protect yourself. Looks like a bat!

1109
01:24:20,485 --> 01:24:24,116
Lots of strange happenings,
we're gonna find out the details later.

1110
01:24:27,059 --> 01:24:29,154
Hi, Doc.
Hi, Russell.

1111
01:24:29,761 --> 01:24:31,560
See you at the clinic.

1112
01:24:34,766 --> 01:24:36,101
I told you so.

1113
01:24:36,201 --> 01:24:38,626
Maybe it's just therapy.

1114
01:24:38,837 --> 01:24:39,938
Doc, look.

1115
01:24:40,038 --> 01:24:41,905
A bike. Come on.

1116
01:25:03,096 --> 01:25:05,832
They're following us. Isn't it exciting?

1117
01:25:05,932 --> 01:25:08,968
What following? What?
Something I should know?

1118
01:25:09,068 --> 01:25:11,137
Hang a right on Queens Boulevard.

1119
01:25:11,237 --> 01:25:13,339
Proceed due north
on the Van Wyck Expressway.

1120
01:25:13,439 --> 01:25:16,709
Forget the Grand Central and the Belt
Parkway. This takes us right in.

1121
01:25:16,809 --> 01:25:20,347
That's terrific. Would you like
to come up here and help me drive?

1122
01:25:20,447 --> 01:25:22,041
If necessary.

1123
01:25:36,630 --> 01:25:38,930
He's heading to the expressway.

1124
01:25:48,308 --> 01:25:50,445
I told you, we're stuck.

1125
01:25:50,545 --> 01:25:52,480
It could be backed up for miles.

1126
01:25:52,580 --> 01:25:56,484
Erwin Newman, driver 10763.

1127
01:25:56,584 --> 01:26:00,977
I command you to defy the laws
of centrifugal force.

1128
01:26:01,122 --> 01:26:02,424
Close your eyes.

1129
01:26:02,524 --> 01:26:04,619
Yes, master. I mean, mister.

1130
01:26:13,868 --> 01:26:15,670
Oh, this is great!

1131
01:26:15,770 --> 01:26:19,435
I won't have to get
my tires rotated this month.

1132
01:26:19,641 --> 01:26:20,775
Drive on the grass.

1133
01:26:20,875 --> 01:26:23,746
That I can't do. It's illegal.

1134
01:26:23,846 --> 01:26:26,612
I'm not talking to you.
I'm talking to the car.

1135
01:26:38,894 --> 01:26:41,530
He'll get himself killed doing that.

1136
01:26:41,630 --> 01:26:44,521
Told you, he's already dead.

1137
01:26:58,448 --> 01:27:01,051
Doc, how much did you say
that girl owes you?

1138
01:27:01,151 --> 01:27:04,821
Counting Friday, $7,452.

1139
01:27:04,921 --> 01:27:06,723
But it's not the money.

1140
01:27:06,823 --> 01:27:09,657
There's a good chance I love her.

1141
01:27:15,732 --> 01:27:17,334
Watch out for that oak tree!

1142
01:27:17,434 --> 01:27:18,735
Tell him, lady.

1143
01:27:18,835 --> 01:27:22,204
I haven't been driving
for the past five minutes.

1144
01:27:50,334 --> 01:27:54,338
Eat your heart out, Burt Reynolds!

1145
01:27:54,438 --> 01:27:56,941
Vladimir, they're still kissing.

1146
01:27:57,041 --> 01:27:59,010
Isn't that sweet?

1147
01:27:59,110 --> 01:28:00,511
How romantic.

1148
01:28:00,611 --> 01:28:03,448
Erwin, put on some music.

1149
01:28:03,549 --> 01:28:05,109
All right!

1150
01:28:15,994 --> 01:28:17,963
Use the radio. Call for help.

1151
01:28:18,063 --> 01:28:21,100
Yeah, what am I supposed to do?
Tell them this is Lt. Ferguson

1152
01:28:21,200 --> 01:28:23,068
I'm on a stolen bike
with a psychiatrist

1153
01:28:23,168 --> 01:28:26,004
chasing a vampire who's going to
bite this girl on her neck

1154
01:28:26,104 --> 01:28:27,206
so she can turn into a bat.

1155
01:28:27,306 --> 01:28:28,574
Yeah, tell them that.

1156
01:28:28,674 --> 01:28:31,133
There goes my pension.

1157
01:28:37,016 --> 01:28:38,883
We're almost there.

1158
01:28:40,620 --> 01:28:41,654
How much do I owe you?

1159
01:28:41,754 --> 01:28:43,623
Owe me? Forget about it.

1160
01:28:43,723 --> 01:28:47,127
I've been driving people to the airport
for 32 years

1161
01:28:47,227 --> 01:28:51,620
and this is the first time I ever took
a flight. Thanks a lot, buddy.

1162
01:28:52,532 --> 01:28:54,991
I only wish the missus was here.

1163
01:29:02,141 --> 01:29:04,477
I don't know how it could have happened.

1164
01:29:04,577 --> 01:29:05,912
It's dreadful.

1165
01:29:06,012 --> 01:29:09,249
The coffin is supposed to be
on Flight 602 to London.

1166
01:29:09,349 --> 01:29:13,254
When it arrives in Jamaica, it'll be sent
on the very next flight to London.

1167
01:29:13,354 --> 01:29:16,323
But that will be too late.
My master will disintegrate.

1168
01:29:16,423 --> 01:29:18,586
He'll turn to dust.

1169
01:29:19,960 --> 01:29:23,386
Master, we have a problem.
We have a terrible problem.

1170
01:29:27,635 --> 01:29:30,938
Correction, Renfield.
Several terrible problems.

1171
01:29:31,038 --> 01:29:32,673
Age before beauty. Follow me.

1172
01:29:32,773 --> 01:29:36,472
Listen, when you go through customs,
be careful with that little bag.

1173
01:29:39,947 --> 01:29:43,652
But, master, the coffin's
on its way to Jamaica.

1174
01:29:43,752 --> 01:29:47,883
What else is new?
I'll see you in Jamaica.

1175
01:29:50,825 --> 01:29:52,715
Quick. The runway.

1176
01:29:53,261 --> 01:29:56,364
Jamaica. Aisle seat. No smoking.
What's the movie?

1177
01:29:56,464 --> 01:29:58,559
In Cold Blood.

1178
01:30:14,149 --> 01:30:16,779
Vladimir, stop. It's too late.

1179
01:30:19,655 --> 01:30:21,591
There is another way.

1180
01:30:21,691 --> 01:30:23,388
The third bite?

1181
01:30:23,592 --> 01:30:26,128
I don't know, Vladimir.

1182
01:30:26,228 --> 01:30:29,461
I mean, you're a beautiful lover.

1183
01:30:29,732 --> 01:30:31,861
And you're a great dancer.

1184
01:30:32,535 --> 01:30:35,165
You go through doors great.

1185
01:30:36,238 --> 01:30:38,407
I don't know
how you're gonna look as a bat.

1186
01:30:38,507 --> 01:30:39,842
I just don't know what to do.

1187
01:30:39,942 --> 01:30:42,435
You'll have to tell me what to do.

1188
01:30:43,612 --> 01:30:45,946
You must make the choice.

1189
01:30:46,282 --> 01:30:47,842
No.

1190
01:30:49,018 --> 01:30:50,579
As for me

1191
01:30:53,657 --> 01:30:56,287
in a world without romance

1192
01:30:57,361 --> 01:30:59,626
it's better to be dead.

1193
01:31:02,132 --> 01:31:04,401
I'm pretty sure I love you.

1194
01:31:04,501 --> 01:31:08,038
What am I saying? Of course I love you.

1195
01:31:08,138 --> 01:31:09,869
I think.

1196
01:31:11,208 --> 01:31:13,542
Do it now, Vladimir.

1197
01:31:24,022 --> 01:31:26,591
The third way to kill a vampire

1198
01:31:26,691 --> 01:31:28,319
Herr Count.

1199
01:31:28,493 --> 01:31:32,090
A wooden stake through the heart.

1200
01:31:35,967 --> 01:31:38,303
Stop it, Doctor. Stop it. Stop it.

1201
01:31:38,403 --> 01:31:41,639
Stop it. No good. They're gone. See?

1202
01:31:41,739 --> 01:31:43,341
They disappeared.

1203
01:31:43,441 --> 01:31:45,536
Gone.
Oh, no.

1204
01:31:47,445 --> 01:31:49,213
Cindy, don't go.

1205
01:31:49,313 --> 01:31:51,476
Come back. I need you.

1206
01:31:51,783 --> 01:31:53,673
Let's talk about it.

1207
01:31:55,086 --> 01:31:57,512
Look. The check.

1208
01:31:59,458 --> 01:32:02,122
She paid me everything she owes me.

1209
01:32:03,395 --> 01:32:06,093
She left me, but she learned something.

1210
01:32:07,399 --> 01:32:09,767
She's a responsible person.

1211
01:32:10,436 --> 01:32:12,167
Or whatever.

1212
01:32:16,375 --> 01:32:19,878
What was it with that guy?
I mean, what did he have?

1213
01:32:19,978 --> 01:32:22,681
Was it the accent? Good evening.

1214
01:32:22,781 --> 01:32:25,308
No, I think it was the cape.

1215
01:32:25,684 --> 01:32:27,881
The cape?
The cape.

1216
01:32:28,120 --> 01:32:30,614
Don't be ridiculous.
Try it out.

1217
01:32:30,857 --> 01:32:33,452
Let's see what it looks like.

1218
01:32:34,260 --> 01:32:35,649
There.

1219
01:32:37,297 --> 01:32:39,164
What do you think?

1220
01:32:39,966 --> 01:32:42,235
Definitely, it was the cape.

1221
01:32:42,335 --> 01:32:45,372
It really looks terrific on you.
You think so?

1222
01:32:45,472 --> 01:32:46,998
I think so.

1223
01:32:48,174 --> 01:32:49,700
Listen

1224
01:32:50,810 --> 01:32:53,735
Doc, I have an anniversary coming up.
My tenth.

1225
01:32:54,514 --> 01:32:58,585
If I came home this Friday night
with a bottle of wine, a dozen roses

1226
01:32:58,685 --> 01:33:02,188
wearing that cape, I think it would
drive my wife up the wall.

1227
01:33:02,288 --> 01:33:05,157
Can I borrow it
for just one night, please?

1228
01:33:07,495 --> 01:33:08,496
All right.

1229
01:33:08,596 --> 01:33:09,563
Thanks, Doctor.

1230
01:33:09,663 --> 01:33:11,932
But I want it back Saturday
for the weekend.

1231
01:33:12,032 --> 01:33:14,635
Sure. I'll even have it cleaned. All right?
Okay.

1232
01:33:14,735 --> 01:33:16,124
Thanks.

1233
01:33:27,081 --> 01:33:29,050
This isn't it so hard.

1234
01:33:29,150 --> 01:33:31,519
I think I'm gonna love immortality.

1235
01:33:31,619 --> 01:33:34,453
There is one small disadvantage.

1236
01:33:35,055 --> 01:33:36,757
You can only live by night.

1237
01:33:36,858 --> 01:33:38,326
That's all right with me.

1238
01:33:38,426 --> 01:33:42,489
I mean, I could never really
get my shit together till 7:00, anyway.