1
00:00:10,380 --> 00:00:15,920
Hey, it's a good thing this isn't
Thanksgiving. I'd be flipping turkeys by

2
00:00:18,660 --> 00:00:19,660
Hey.

3
00:00:21,060 --> 00:00:24,680
What's going on? Well, Mom, with your
big job interview today, we wanted to

4
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:29,560
sure that you had a power breakfast. Oh,
thanks, guys. I'm starved. So am I, but

5
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:31,020
Uncle Carl made a sweet for you.

6
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:33,620
This food looks good.

7
00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,100
Smells good, too.

8
00:00:37,660 --> 00:00:38,700
Let's give it a new home.

9
00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:41,400
Anyhow, Winslow.

10
00:00:47,180 --> 00:00:48,200
Great news.

11
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:51,140
I'm a papa. My roach eggs just hatched.

12
00:00:54,440 --> 00:00:55,440
Oh, look.

13
00:00:55,780 --> 00:00:57,060
They're eating the queen.

14
00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:24,030
This day and age to read any good news
on the newspaper page.

15
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:30,270
And love and tradition of the grand
design, some people say, is even harder

16
00:01:30,270 --> 00:01:31,270
find.

17
00:01:31,970 --> 00:01:37,850
Well, then there must be some magic clue
inside these gentle walls.

18
00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:42,430
Because all I see is a tower of...

19
00:02:27,880 --> 00:02:29,920
I'm working on my top -secret science
project.

20
00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:37,380
Genetically engineered mushrooms.

21
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,040
I call it fungus diletta.

22
00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:44,840
It's a mushroom that grows its own
gravy. See?

23
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:46,940
How nice for you.

24
00:02:47,340 --> 00:02:51,140
Are you aware of my position regarding
access to non -authorized areas?

25
00:02:51,740 --> 00:02:54,380
Uh, I shouldn't be down here. Bingo!

26
00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:58,890
We can't have every Tom, Dick, and
Nerd... waltzing up and down these

27
00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:02,390
corridors. They're old, dank, and dusty.
Nobody ever comes down here.

28
00:03:02,590 --> 00:03:03,770
Morning. Good morning.

29
00:03:04,070 --> 00:03:07,590
We have rules, and these rules have
to... Looney?

30
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,910
What are you doing here, Looney?

31
00:03:13,470 --> 00:03:14,630
That's Looney.

32
00:03:15,110 --> 00:03:16,110
It's French.

33
00:03:18,670 --> 00:03:20,910
Alfred, you're out of your janitor's
uniform.

34
00:03:21,330 --> 00:03:24,210
Yeah, I overslept. It's hard to hear old
Mr.

35
00:03:24,450 --> 00:03:26,030
Rooster way down here.

36
00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:27,510
You slept here?

37
00:03:28,090 --> 00:03:32,650
Intermittently. I'm convinced this is
where old dust balls come to die.

38
00:03:33,370 --> 00:03:38,810
Every time I dozed off, one of the
little devils flew up my nose, and I...

39
00:03:38,810 --> 00:03:40,430
you out of your mind?

40
00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:42,650
No.

41
00:03:47,130 --> 00:03:48,830
What is this room, anyway?

42
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,210
It's the school bomb shelter.

43
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:55,730
It's a leftover relic from the 50s.

44
00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:57,220
Sort of like Looney.

45
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,800
Say, who do you... Are you living here?

46
00:04:01,260 --> 00:04:02,260
Yeah.

47
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:04,880
What about your apartment?

48
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,400
I moved out.

49
00:04:06,860 --> 00:04:11,000
When? Right after they put my furniture
on the sidewalk.

50
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,540
Alfred, what's this all about?

51
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:21,300
Well, I took some bad investment advice
and lost everything. My home, my car, my

52
00:04:21,300 --> 00:04:24,300
collection of Hummel figurines.

53
00:04:25,710 --> 00:04:27,350
I've collected those. How many did you
have?

54
00:04:27,670 --> 00:04:28,670
One.

55
00:04:31,510 --> 00:04:33,550
I feel bad about your misfortune.

56
00:04:33,930 --> 00:04:35,010
Be out by tomorrow.

57
00:04:35,410 --> 00:04:36,410
What?

58
00:04:36,550 --> 00:04:39,990
You can't stay here. The school isn't
zoned for residential dwelling.

59
00:04:40,230 --> 00:04:42,610
It would be a violation of section 42B
-5.

60
00:04:43,050 --> 00:04:47,610
Now, reeling your rule book, Irwin, this
poor man has no place to go.

61
00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:51,170
Look, I don't write the rules. I merely
memorize and enforce them.

62
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,290
Well, if Principal Shimano were here,
he'd just...

63
00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,220
Principal Shimada was here. I don't see
him. Do you?

64
00:04:59,460 --> 00:05:01,580
No. Principal Shimada?

65
00:05:02,100 --> 00:05:03,300
He's not here.

66
00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:06,360
But I am, and what I say goes.

67
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,300
Furthermore, until you move out, you're
suspended.

68
00:05:09,980 --> 00:05:12,140
You'd take away my mop?

69
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:13,380
Yes.

70
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:15,240
You go too far.

71
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:23,860
A moment of your time.

72
00:05:24,180 --> 00:05:25,720
Let me paint you a... picture.

73
00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:27,620
You call the fuzz.

74
00:05:27,940 --> 00:05:29,100
Lunay refuses to leave.

75
00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:33,580
You've got SWAT teams, tear gas,
battering rams, and helicopters all live

76
00:05:33,580 --> 00:05:36,460
six o 'clock news. Oh, that's not good.
What should I do?

77
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:42,260
Well, I happen to live next door to one
of Chicago's finest, Carl Winslow. Why,

78
00:05:42,340 --> 00:05:45,080
he's a superb human being and an
outstanding cap.

79
00:05:45,460 --> 00:05:48,920
Give him a chance to talk to Mr. Lunay.
I'm sure he can work this out.

80
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:54,540
Okay, I'll give you a couple of days,
but don't get too comfortable.

81
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,960
I got a pizza for Looney.

82
00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:58,560
That's looney.

83
00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,520
Oh, is that French?

84
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:11,340
Let me guess. You didn't get the job.

85
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,000
Are you kidding?

86
00:06:13,420 --> 00:06:14,920
I didn't even get an interview.

87
00:06:33,290 --> 00:06:34,630
a paycheck for 20 years.

88
00:06:34,870 --> 00:06:37,510
And now for the last six months,
nothing.

89
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:39,770
Oh, it's so frustrating.

90
00:06:40,470 --> 00:06:43,150
Mom, don't worry. You'll find something
soon.

91
00:06:44,110 --> 00:06:45,210
I hope so.

92
00:06:46,270 --> 00:06:49,990
You will. You'll find a wonderful,
challenging job that pays a lot of

93
00:06:50,530 --> 00:06:51,530
That'd be great.

94
00:06:52,190 --> 00:06:53,410
What of both of us?

95
00:06:54,830 --> 00:06:57,990
Well, then I won't feel so guilty when I
hit you up for money.

96
00:07:02,890 --> 00:07:04,650
I really appreciate you helping out Mr.
Lunay.

97
00:07:05,170 --> 00:07:07,430
I really don't know how much help I can
be.

98
00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:12,850
Now, just remember, be gentle. Mr. Lunay
is a sweet and sensitive man.

99
00:07:15,830 --> 00:07:18,550
You'll never take me alive, copper!

100
00:07:21,790 --> 00:07:26,170
Now, take it easy, Alfred.

101
00:07:26,550 --> 00:07:30,530
This is Carl Winslow. He's my friend,
and he's here to help you.

102
00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:34,780
then he should have the decency to take
his hat off in a gentleman's bomb

103
00:07:34,780 --> 00:07:35,780
shelter.

104
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:48,740
Perhaps we

105
00:07:48,740 --> 00:07:51,580
can discuss some housing options.

106
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,960
You want to give me a house?

107
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:59,200
No. You want to give me the money to buy
a house?

108
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,700
No.

109
00:08:02,740 --> 00:08:04,460
You want to give me your house?

110
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:07,380
No.

111
00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,780
Thanks for all the help, Mr. Housing
Options.

112
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,200
What is with this guy?

113
00:08:14,580 --> 00:08:15,580
What do you mean?

114
00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:22,200
Look, why don't you just sit down and
let us work this out?

115
00:08:22,500 --> 00:08:23,500
All righty.

116
00:08:25,980 --> 00:08:27,680
Uh, now, Mr.

117
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:29,560
Looney. That's lunet.

118
00:08:30,060 --> 00:08:31,060
It's French.

119
00:08:31,620 --> 00:08:36,700
I'm a direct descendant of the Marquis
de... Oh, no, don't! Oh, it's okay. It's

120
00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,140
not heavy. No, no, don't!

121
00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,240
Oh, okay.

122
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:47,600
Great. The door just closed.

123
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:49,840
Yeah, so?

124
00:08:50,340 --> 00:08:51,980
That door is warped.

125
00:08:52,740 --> 00:08:53,740
Yeah, so?

126
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:56,340
We won't be able to open it.

127
00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:58,480
Oh.

128
00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:24,340
It's Saturday.

129
00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:26,400
Nobody's at the school.

130
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:29,160
Except for the vandals.

131
00:10:30,360 --> 00:10:33,500
And they rarely help people in distress.

132
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,100
That's been my experience.

133
00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,260
Well, they will find us by Monday,
right?

134
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,660
Tuesday. Monday's a holiday.

135
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:51,540
You know, I could pop the hinges off
that door with my tools.

136
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,160
Why didn't you say so?

137
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:57,060
My tools are up in the gym.

138
00:10:59,260 --> 00:11:01,060
That's why I didn't say so.

139
00:11:05,340 --> 00:11:07,220
Well, let's try pulling the door open
again.

140
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,500
Okay. And let's really put our weight
into it.

141
00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:14,540
You're far more blessed in that area
than we are.

142
00:11:47,210 --> 00:11:51,750
Should we pull on three or wait till we
hear three and then pull?

143
00:11:52,370 --> 00:11:56,130
Well, maybe it should be one, two,
three, pull.

144
00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:57,690
But do we pull?

145
00:13:09,130 --> 00:13:11,990
Why are you returning that vacuum
cleaner? Well, it worked for ten minutes

146
00:13:11,990 --> 00:13:12,990
then went completely.

147
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:15,950
I'd like to return this, please.

148
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:18,070
What?

149
00:13:19,350 --> 00:13:22,150
This casserole dish, it's cracked.

150
00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:23,610
Of course it's cracked.

151
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:25,910
Anything will crack if you abuse it.

152
00:13:26,150 --> 00:13:31,910
Like a marriage, for instance. You bust
your hump for 23 long years. And then

153
00:13:31,910 --> 00:13:35,830
you come home and you find your wife in
the arms of her aerobics instructor.

154
00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:40,340
They claimed they were just stretching,
but after a... Martin, Martin, Martin.

155
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:44,500
Why don't you go home and rest? Then
next week we'll talk about, uh,

156
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:45,520
reassignment.

157
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:51,020
Sorry, folks, the complaint department
is closed. Please come back tomorrow.

158
00:13:51,240 --> 00:13:53,140
I've been waiting a half an hour.

159
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:58,500
Uh,

160
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:05,400
excuse me, uh, Mr., uh, Waxman? Yes.

161
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:07,280
I saw what just happened to you.

162
00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:12,120
Well, Martin's a wonderful man, but the
position is stressful, thankless,

163
00:14:12,140 --> 00:14:13,140
exhausting.

164
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:14,880
It's an absolutely awful job.

165
00:14:15,300 --> 00:14:16,920
Yeah. Can I have it?

166
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,320
You really want it?

167
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:19,700
Yeah, to have the top.

168
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:22,900
Besides, over the years, I've spent an
awful lot of money in your store.

169
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:26,260
I figured it's a way for me to get some
of it back.

170
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,480
Excuse me.

171
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:31,280
Oh. Yes, ma 'am, can I help you?

172
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:32,840
You people cheated me.

173
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,680
This vacuum cleaner is a piece of junk.

174
00:14:36,170 --> 00:14:37,190
Oh, well, calm down.

175
00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:40,270
If it's a piece of junk, then you'll get
your money back.

176
00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:41,329
She will.

177
00:14:41,330 --> 00:14:42,330
Oh!

178
00:14:45,270 --> 00:14:49,710
After all, this store only wants happy
customers.

179
00:14:50,130 --> 00:14:54,170
Now, did this vacuum cleaner ever work
at all? For a few minutes.

180
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:56,350
Then it's a manufacturer's problem.

181
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,130
You see this 800 number right here?

182
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:03,170
Uh -huh. You call it, and they'll send
you a replacement even faster than we

183
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:04,330
could. Almost...

184
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,590
Thank you. You've been so helpful.

185
00:15:07,190 --> 00:15:09,530
Oh, you are a wonderful employee.

186
00:15:10,290 --> 00:15:13,150
This store is lucky to have you.

187
00:15:14,690 --> 00:15:16,250
Does this store have me?

188
00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:18,130
You have the job.

189
00:15:18,430 --> 00:15:20,830
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes!

190
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:26,210
Thank you, Mr. Waxman. Well, don't thank
me. Thank your mother -in -law.

191
00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:27,790
Hi, Estelle.

192
00:15:28,550 --> 00:15:29,550
Hi, Claude.

193
00:16:27,690 --> 00:16:31,010
I just might shoot you if you don't stop
with the singing.

194
00:16:31,270 --> 00:16:33,110
No jury will convict me.

195
00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:40,370
That's reminiscent of Sondheim. It's not
Sondheim. It's Winslow.

196
00:16:40,570 --> 00:16:45,110
Now, please, no more singing, no more
dancing.

197
00:16:45,410 --> 00:16:46,910
That's all just sick.

198
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:43,160
Let's make the best of a bad situation.

199
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:16,560
knows an ant can't move a rubber tree
plant. But he's got high

200
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:23,560
hopes. He's got high hopes. He's got
high ample

201
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,120
pie in the sky.

202
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,040
So

203
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:34,980
anytime

204
00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,340
you're getting low, instead of...

205
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:42,020
Just remember that.

206
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:59,960
If they say no... Then I'll just stop
paying my rent.

207
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,560
Oh, thanks, Steve.

208
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,760
You're a true friend.

209
00:20:06,380 --> 00:20:07,380
Yeah, Steve.

210
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:08,900
That was really nice of you.

211
00:20:09,520 --> 00:20:10,860
Aw, cut it out, guys.

212
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,460
I'm getting misty.

213
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,180
Well, what are we gonna do till the
fire...

214
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,860
And singing in the rain.

215
00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,560
Just singing in the rain.

216
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,200
What a boy.