1
00:00:54,011 --> 00:00:57,472
Hey, Stifler, how come Steve
got all the talent in your family?

2
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,308
Bite me, Fuck Face.

3
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:01,227
Come on,
man, you're missing it.

4
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:04,646
I've seen it a million times,
you fucking ass-booger.

5
00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:06,606
Matt, Steve is
like a film making genius.

6
00:01:06,691 --> 00:01:08,567
A true American hero.

7
00:01:08,651 --> 00:01:10,194
The Tarantino of titties.

8
00:01:10,278 --> 00:01:12,655
Yeah, there's just no way
you could ever be this good.

9
00:01:12,738 --> 00:01:14,322
Hey, look, I'm going to prove
to Steve

10
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,576
that I'm up to the standards
of the Stiffmeister Productions.

11
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,287
After Steve sees
my directing talent,

12
00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:23,833
little bro's joining the family
business. Is that what he said?

13
00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:28,086
He finally called you back? No,
but I left him another message.

14
00:01:29,755 --> 00:01:33,008
He'll get back to me.
It's only been three weeks.

15
00:01:33,467 --> 00:01:37,967
Gentle-fucks, a toast. Tomorrow,
we begin our reign as seniors.

16
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:43,829
Okay, people,
let's take a break.

17
00:02:44,205 --> 00:02:46,916
Remember, we play
this at the end of the ceremony

18
00:02:46,999 --> 00:02:48,542
after Pomp and Circumstance.

19
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:50,878
I don't want anyone starting
the wrong song again.

20
00:02:50,961 --> 00:02:54,005
Elyse, you need to
relax, girl. I'm fine.

21
00:02:54,256 --> 00:02:57,050
I just... You know, it's my
first time up here, and...

22
00:02:57,134 --> 00:02:59,845
Yeah, but it's graduation.
It ain't the Boston Pops.

23
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:03,307
This performance sets the
tone for our senior year. I mean...

24
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:07,891
Look, you just remember that
everybody here is pulling for you.

25
00:03:12,149 --> 00:03:14,109
Dork. Dork. Dork.

26
00:03:14,193 --> 00:03:15,652
Goose.

27
00:03:15,736 --> 00:03:18,655
I like them feisty. What're
you doing here, Stifler?

28
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:22,034
We just want to say sayonara,
and let you fuck-necks know

29
00:03:22,118 --> 00:03:23,577
we plan on winning
the state title

30
00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,454
now that the Stiffmeister's
running the show.

31
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:31,210
Adios, butt-hugger. He's a
bigger asshole than his brother.

32
00:03:34,755 --> 00:03:36,590
Holy shit, Arianna.

33
00:03:37,508 --> 00:03:39,718
Matt, what're you
doing here?

34
00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:43,638
Oh, we just want to make sure the
seniors have a very memorable last day.

35
00:03:44,223 --> 00:03:47,142
That's cool. So,
there's a camp out tonight

36
00:03:47,226 --> 00:03:49,895
and it's only for the grads,
but you could come.

37
00:03:50,354 --> 00:03:53,482
Let me check my schedule.
Hell, yeah.

38
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,237
Bring your sleeping bag, in
case we decide to pitch a tent.

39
00:04:02,783 --> 00:04:05,076
Check it out.
Perfect timing.

40
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:06,996
This is going to be classic.

41
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:11,083
Time to initiate
Operation Gradu-fuck-uation.

42
00:04:14,128 --> 00:04:15,712
This is gonna be awesome.

43
00:04:15,796 --> 00:04:17,631
Shit.
Oh, yeah! Jackpot!

44
00:04:18,048 --> 00:04:19,674
Payback, seniors.

45
00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:21,802
Don't get that pepper spray
on your hands.

46
00:04:24,722 --> 00:04:27,099
A graduation
gift from the Stiffmeister.

47
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:33,272
Dude, we should've
sprayed the diplomas.

48
00:04:36,066 --> 00:04:37,609
Sorry, bandies.

49
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:46,702
Bite my nuts and call me
Skippy. It's a Steely Dan.

50
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:50,247
A what? It's a
double-headed dildo.

51
00:04:50,748 --> 00:04:52,708
It's a dildo. It's a dildo.

52
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:55,211
Holy shit.
It's even got a name.

53
00:04:55,461 --> 00:04:56,628
Picardo.

54
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,088
Picardo?

55
00:04:58,172 --> 00:05:01,383
Spray that shit.
Fuck, no. Finders keepers.

56
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:03,719
Okay, everybody,
Pomp and Circumstance.

57
00:05:03,803 --> 00:05:05,095
Five-minute warning. Let's go.

58
00:05:05,179 --> 00:05:07,514
The bandies.
Let's get out of here.

59
00:05:11,769 --> 00:05:13,687
Matt? Leesy.

60
00:05:15,272 --> 00:05:17,983
How they hanging?
Still small and perky, I see.

61
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:19,609
That's funny.

62
00:05:19,693 --> 00:05:20,985
Yeah.

63
00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:25,616
What're you doing here, Matt? I
just came by to wish you good luck.

64
00:05:25,699 --> 00:05:28,243
You know, on the whole
music thing. Good luck?

65
00:05:28,369 --> 00:05:30,954
You haven't said a word to me
since the eighth grade.

66
00:05:31,038 --> 00:05:34,291
Yeah, and that tone of voice
is exactly the reason why.

67
00:05:34,375 --> 00:05:36,710
So, I'm going to
take off now.

68
00:05:40,631 --> 00:05:44,926
Ladies and gentlemen, please
rise to honor our graduates.

69
00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:46,678
Douchebag's gonna miss it.

70
00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:00,859
Oh, yes.

71
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:05,572
Are they crying?

72
00:06:08,617 --> 00:06:10,035
Holy shit!

73
00:06:17,084 --> 00:06:18,251
Yes!

74
00:06:39,481 --> 00:06:41,232
Eat shit, seniors.

75
00:06:55,831 --> 00:06:57,040
Yeah. Oh!

76
00:07:02,796 --> 00:07:05,131
Stifler!

77
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,430
I've been waiting for
this moment for a very long time.

78
00:07:12,723 --> 00:07:15,475
And now,
the day of reckoning has come.

79
00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,063
Hello, Matthew.

80
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,025
Your brother must be
very proud.

81
00:07:25,903 --> 00:07:28,155
You've continued his legacy.

82
00:07:29,156 --> 00:07:30,657
Tormenting the innocent,

83
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:34,828
defiling all that is good
and pure.

84
00:07:38,290 --> 00:07:41,001
But now, you're going down.

85
00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:44,922
Ooh. What're you going to do,
expel me, Shermanator?

86
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:49,593
I am a sophisticated
counseling machine

87
00:07:49,677 --> 00:07:53,472
sent back in time to guide
young and innocent minds.

88
00:07:53,847 --> 00:07:58,347
My primary directive is to protect
the students of this institution

89
00:07:59,687 --> 00:08:02,648
and all, indeed all mankind

90
00:08:03,399 --> 00:08:06,318
from the menace
that is another Stifler.

91
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,112
Behavior modification
IS required.

92
00:08:09,446 --> 00:08:12,282
It's not too late
to change your future.

93
00:08:15,035 --> 00:08:18,997
No, expulsion
would be too easy.

94
00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:21,541
Hmm.

95
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:25,462
I know the perfect punishment
to fit your crime.

96
00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:30,717
Since you have so much trouble
with the band,

97
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,971
perhaps you should
make friends with them.

98
00:08:34,138 --> 00:08:35,722
No fucking way.

99
00:08:37,558 --> 00:08:42,058
Either you learn to be more
considerate or you will be expelled.

100
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,523
No football.

101
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:46,691
No parties.

102
00:08:46,775 --> 00:08:48,610
No spring break.

103
00:08:49,361 --> 00:08:51,946
No graduation.

104
00:08:52,281 --> 00:08:53,907
No college.

105
00:08:54,283 --> 00:08:55,701
No coeds.

106
00:08:56,577 --> 00:08:57,995
Comprende?

107
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:04,585
Pack your bags, Stifler.

108
00:09:05,377 --> 00:09:08,088
You're going to Band Camp.
Band Camp!

109
00:09:14,887 --> 00:09:17,222
Bullshit, trash.

110
00:09:20,225 --> 00:09:23,394
All right, Steve!
Valley Girls Gone Wild.

111
00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:26,189
Fuck.

112
00:09:44,583 --> 00:09:46,334
I told you Steve
would get back to me.

113
00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:47,752
I mean,
it was just a postcard,

114
00:09:47,836 --> 00:09:49,963
but it gave me a great idea.

115
00:09:50,047 --> 00:09:51,131
Look...

116
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:53,383
Steve's shit-head friend,
Jim,

117
00:09:53,467 --> 00:09:55,886
he married this freaking
nympho band-geek, Michelle.

118
00:09:55,969 --> 00:09:58,888
And he said all they do
at Band Camp is screw 24/7.

119
00:09:58,972 --> 00:10:03,184
Matt, buddy, you cannot screw
band chicks. There are standards.

120
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:07,647
I'm not talking about
screwing them, scrotum-breath.

121
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:10,400
I'm talking about
videotaping them.

122
00:10:10,651 --> 00:10:14,237
People love to see dorks doing
that freaky shit on hidden video.

123
00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:18,158
Bandeez Gone Wild? Steve's
gonna have some competition now

124
00:10:18,325 --> 00:10:20,910
because little bro's
joining the family business.

125
00:10:26,166 --> 00:10:27,959
Yeah, Spy Chest.

126
00:10:28,544 --> 00:10:30,462
Secret Video.

127
00:10:31,839 --> 00:10:33,215
Hell, yeah.

128
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:37,761
Color night vision?
I'll take it. Shit.

129
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:48,188
How about tomorrow?
This is going be great.

130
00:11:29,938 --> 00:11:32,649
Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005.

131
00:11:34,067 --> 00:11:36,778
Let's hear it
from Lloyd Memorial High.

132
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,196
L-L-O-Y-D!

133
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:41,032
L-L-O-Y-D!

134
00:11:42,242 --> 00:11:44,661
- Mount St. Marie.
- Mount St. Marie!

135
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,329
Mount St. Marie!

136
00:11:46,413 --> 00:11:48,039
East Great Falls High.

137
00:11:48,457 --> 00:11:50,667
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

138
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,753
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

139
00:11:52,836 --> 00:11:56,130
And five-time defending
Tall Oaks Cup Champion...

140
00:11:56,423 --> 00:11:57,674
Beechwood Academy.

141
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:00,010
We're
number one! We're number one!

142
00:12:00,093 --> 00:12:01,177
We're number one!

143
00:12:01,261 --> 00:12:02,512
Okay, settle down.

144
00:12:03,263 --> 00:12:05,598
Now, as you know,
each year

145
00:12:05,682 --> 00:12:08,685
one senior Tall Oaks composer
is awarded

146
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:13,269
a full scholarship to the
prestigious Robards Conservatory.

147
00:12:13,398 --> 00:12:15,525
Elyse, this
is your year to win.

148
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:18,862
This year, Dr. Susan Choi,
president of Robards,

149
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:21,865
will judge the compositions
herself.

150
00:12:21,949 --> 00:12:26,449
And let's not forget to welcome
the Tall Oaks Camp Counselors.

151
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:37,839
If you visit our infirmary, Nurse
Sanders will take care of your every need.

152
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:45,134
Okay, so let's work hard,
and may the best band win.

153
00:12:53,230 --> 00:12:54,314
You guys ready?

154
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:14,668
What the fuck?

155
00:13:15,002 --> 00:13:17,504
Are you a rookie?
You look lost.

156
00:13:17,838 --> 00:13:20,924
Are you an asshole? You're
hairy, and you smell like shit.

157
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:22,426
I'll, uh...

158
00:13:23,260 --> 00:13:26,388
I'll ignore
that kind of talk once.

159
00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:29,390
We don't speak that way here.

160
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:34,271
Rookies are to wear their beanies
at all times. Those are the rules.

161
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:36,814
And who made you
the mayor of Geek Town?

162
00:13:37,941 --> 00:13:42,070
I'm Brandon Vandecamp, senior
drum major of Beechwood Academy

163
00:13:42,195 --> 00:13:43,905
and the president
of the Tall Oaks Council.

164
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:48,035
Oh, and who are they, Mr. President?
The First Lady and Vice Pussy?

165
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:55,542
Suits you well.

166
00:13:55,667 --> 00:14:00,167
Golly, jeepers, thanks. Hey, you know,
since I'm an official band geek and all,

167
00:14:00,505 --> 00:14:02,340
can you guess what
my favorite piece of music is?

168
00:14:02,674 --> 00:14:05,385
I have no idea.
The Nutcracker.

169
00:14:07,763 --> 00:14:10,599
Step back, bitch.
Holy mother of Mozart.

170
00:14:13,018 --> 00:14:14,144
This is bad.

171
00:14:14,227 --> 00:14:16,896
You didn't know Jackie Chan was
in the house, did you boys, huh?

172
00:14:16,980 --> 00:14:18,982
Stop that. Stop that now.

173
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:21,401
Those
knob-slobbers started it.

174
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:24,112
That's not true, sir. We simply
reminded him to wear his beanie.

175
00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:26,615
And then he viciously
assaulted Brandon's genitals.

176
00:14:26,698 --> 00:14:31,198
That's a lie, you dick-snot. Oscar,
Jimmy, escort this man to see

177
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,914
the Macro.
The what?

178
00:14:33,997 --> 00:14:36,457
You're dead.
Now, gentlemen.

179
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:39,544
God, Brandon, are you okay?

180
00:14:40,629 --> 00:14:42,964
You want to tell me what the
hell you're doing here, Stifler?

181
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,633
It don't matter, Big O.
He ain't gonna be here long.

182
00:14:45,717 --> 00:14:46,968
Bitch! OSCAR: Get over here.

183
00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:49,137
Macro gonna
fuck your ass up, fool.

184
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,806
What the fuck's a macro?
The Macro.

185
00:14:51,890 --> 00:14:54,058
Morale And Conflict
Resolution Officer.

186
00:14:54,184 --> 00:14:56,561
I heard this one time,
this kid went into that office

187
00:14:56,645 --> 00:14:58,396
a baritone
and came out a soprano.

188
00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,816
Clarinet up the ass
backwards, yo. What?

189
00:15:09,157 --> 00:15:10,491
Pussies.

190
00:15:24,297 --> 00:15:25,673
Oh, I'm sorry.

191
00:15:27,801 --> 00:15:29,636
Frankenstein. Scary stuff.

192
00:15:31,263 --> 00:15:33,640
I am just a Boris Karloff nut.

193
00:15:33,932 --> 00:15:38,227
I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein.
Holy shit, you're Jim's dad.

194
00:15:38,770 --> 00:15:41,481
He screwed that redheaded
nympho chick at my lake house.

195
00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:45,610
Oh, my, you're not a Stifler?
Yeah, I'm Steve's brother, Matt.

196
00:15:46,778 --> 00:15:50,114
There are two Stiflers? Yes,
sir. Hey, what're you doing here?

197
00:15:50,490 --> 00:15:54,494
Oh, well, Jim is now out of
the house, married to Michelle,

198
00:15:54,619 --> 00:15:57,788
that redheaded nympho chick
that you spoke of.

199
00:15:58,999 --> 00:16:02,002
And, being a former Tall
Oaks Counselor of the Year,

200
00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:06,710
she was hired to be the Macro
this summer, but she got pregnant.

201
00:16:07,591 --> 00:16:11,052
No doubt due to the tendencies
you alluded to earlier.

202
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:14,180
And I have a great rapport
with young people...

203
00:16:14,264 --> 00:16:16,224
...80 I
just stepped in and volunteered.

204
00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:20,395
That cretin is not in our band, and
we are not responsible for his actions.

205
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:22,981
Who pissed in your piccolo?
I'm sensing some hostility here.

206
00:16:23,064 --> 00:16:24,565
He poisoned my band.
What?

207
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:27,485
I'm the Macro and it's my job to
deal with... What is he doing here?

208
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:31,114
Matt Stifler is pure evil just
like his brother. ...conflict.

209
00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:32,824
Thanks, Leesy.

210
00:16:37,412 --> 00:16:38,996
She seems nice.

211
00:16:39,873 --> 00:16:41,332
There are rules,
of course.

212
00:16:41,416 --> 00:16:43,209
You will have to
wear a beanie. Yeah.

213
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:46,629
Oh, I know. It's a little
silly, but it's tradition here,

214
00:16:46,713 --> 00:16:50,341
something you're familiar with,
being on the football team, I'm sure,

215
00:16:50,425 --> 00:16:53,970
with your elephant walks and
circle jerks and drinking butt beer.

216
00:16:54,054 --> 00:16:56,389
But here, you just have
to wear a silly little hat and

217
00:16:56,473 --> 00:16:59,559
a somewhat stylish
Tall Oaks T-shirt. Yeah.

218
00:16:59,809 --> 00:17:01,685
So, just go
with the flow, Matt,

219
00:17:01,811 --> 00:17:04,104
and you will have
loads of fun

220
00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:07,651
and you'll be making
new friends in no time.

221
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,535
Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz,
tenor sax.

222
00:17:18,828 --> 00:17:21,539
Cool! I'm a rookie here, too.

223
00:17:21,706 --> 00:17:25,668
I really wanted to come last year,
but Computer Camp conflicted, and...

224
00:17:25,835 --> 00:17:29,964
Oh, yeah, that was here when I
arrived. I think it has your name on it.

225
00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:33,343
What is it?

226
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:39,015
Hi, welcome to Casa de
Stifler. I'll be your host, Matt.

227
00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:42,602
Every day here, I'll make it my
sincere goal not to have to kick your ass.

228
00:17:42,686 --> 00:17:45,063
Allow me to show you
to your new accommodations.

229
00:17:46,690 --> 00:17:49,025
When I'm out here,
you're in there.

230
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:52,570
Have a great day, fucko.

231
00:17:52,946 --> 00:17:54,155
I don't...

232
00:17:57,534 --> 00:17:58,785
Okay...

233
00:17:58,868 --> 00:18:00,619
I'll just go ahead and
put this stuff away for you.

234
00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:02,872
All right.
Bandy-vision.

235
00:18:04,499 --> 00:18:08,794
This is a
1978 Ohio State show...

236
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:10,462
The Wizard Of Oz.

237
00:18:10,547 --> 00:18:14,300
The one where the sousaphone
player forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey.

238
00:18:16,052 --> 00:18:19,055
Yeah, right. Freaks.

239
00:18:20,807 --> 00:18:23,226
Never fear,
the Stiffmeister's here.

240
00:18:23,310 --> 00:18:26,354
Band Camp just got
a whole lot better, ladies.

241
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,190
You're Steve Stifler's
younger brother, aren't you?

242
00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:31,150
Young and hung.
Great.

243
00:18:31,234 --> 00:18:33,319
Could you send him
a message for me?

244
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:34,570
No problem, senorita.

245
00:18:41,870 --> 00:18:45,623
Well, it looks like Steve gave
someone the old Stifler bang-and-boot.

246
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:50,711
Is there a problem here?
No, everything's fine.

247
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:55,800
Have fun at Band Camp.
Thank you, I will.

248
00:18:59,846 --> 00:19:02,640
Later.
Word.

249
00:19:03,099 --> 00:19:05,559
You need to start showing
some respect around here, Stifler.

250
00:19:05,644 --> 00:19:08,438
You need to show yourself
back to your table, Big Dog.

251
00:19:09,189 --> 00:19:10,607
Out of my way, yo.

252
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:16,571
Hola, chicas. Elyse, so
good to see you again.

253
00:19:16,738 --> 00:19:19,824
So, what's going on tonight?
We gonna party, get a little crazy?

254
00:19:19,949 --> 00:19:22,493
Who wants to rack up
a few frequent fucker miles?

255
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:25,663
You know, you are the most... Most
sexy man ever to come to Band Camp.

256
00:19:25,789 --> 00:19:29,793
What? Chloe, he is so
obnoxious. Sexy obnoxious.

257
00:19:29,918 --> 00:19:32,962
Thank you. I'm tired of
messing around with these

258
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:34,964
dorky-ass nice guys

259
00:19:35,131 --> 00:19:37,216
and "sensitive-artist" types.

260
00:19:37,801 --> 00:19:42,301
Let's party with a real hombre
tonight. Hell, yeah. That's me.

261
00:19:42,889 --> 00:19:46,976
100% hombre. CHLOE:
All right, my room, 8:00.

262
00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:51,897
Great first day, campers.
This is your Macro speaking

263
00:19:51,981 --> 00:19:55,150
and, hey, morale couldn't have
been higher today.

264
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:58,738
So hop in the sack, and get
a good night's sleep because

265
00:19:58,863 --> 00:20:02,283
<i>starting tomorrow, we have many,
many exciting activities planned,</i>

266
00:20:02,409 --> 00:20:05,870
not the least of which is the
race for the Tall Oaks Cup.

267
00:20:06,371 --> 00:20:08,206
So let the games begin.

268
00:20:08,707 --> 00:20:12,210
Bandeez Gone Wild.
Scene One. Party hombre.

269
00:20:17,549 --> 00:20:21,886
It's called Strip Trivia. We made
it up. It's a Band Camp tradition.

270
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:26,515
"Fourth and Long," "Sextuplets,"
"Banging Babes," and "Who Blew Me?"

271
00:20:26,599 --> 00:20:29,768
This looks like my kind
of game. Shall we play?

272
00:20:30,770 --> 00:20:33,773
You sit in the middle.
Your game, my seating chart.

273
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:35,483
Sit a little closer, ladies.

274
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,610
Don't be
scared. It's all right.

275
00:20:38,069 --> 00:20:39,236
Okay...

276
00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:42,407
The rules are simple. You
choose a category and a question

277
00:20:42,532 --> 00:20:44,951
and every time you miss,
you strip.

278
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,244
Hell, yeah.

279
00:20:46,327 --> 00:20:48,829
I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?"

280
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:50,665
Good.

281
00:20:53,209 --> 00:20:57,630
I am a silver Stradivarius trumpet
played by a Pulitzer Prize winner.

282
00:20:58,715 --> 00:21:00,049
Who blew me?

283
00:21:00,216 --> 00:21:01,759
Yeah, like I'd know.

284
00:21:02,093 --> 00:21:04,470
Sorry. Lose the shoes,
and pick again.

285
00:21:04,554 --> 00:21:06,264
You didn't tell me
this shit was about music.

286
00:21:06,347 --> 00:21:10,059
Well, it is Band Camp, moron.
Hey, to be fair,

287
00:21:10,477 --> 00:21:13,521
maybe we should just
give him a head start.

288
00:21:17,066 --> 00:21:18,776
All right. Yeah.

289
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:22,030
Okay, all right. All right.

290
00:21:23,323 --> 00:21:26,242
What's wrong with you? Scared
to show off the mosquito bites?

291
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:29,078
I've matured since the
fourth grade, Matt. Have you?

292
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:32,206
Oh, I've got 10 pounds of
dangling maturity right here, Leesy.

293
00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:35,293
Quit calling me that.
Okay, okay, moving on.

294
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,962
Matt, just pick
another question, please.

295
00:21:38,046 --> 00:21:40,298
All right, screw it. Whatever.

296
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,050
There you go. Suck on that.

297
00:21:44,761 --> 00:21:46,137
Fourth and Long.

298
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:47,638
Sure, no problem.

299
00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:55,142
Of Beethoven's major symphonies,
which has the longest fourth movement?

300
00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,191
All right,
I see where this is going.

301
00:21:58,399 --> 00:22:01,110
Fine, you win.

302
00:22:05,281 --> 00:22:06,490
I free ball, ladies.

303
00:22:07,492 --> 00:22:09,535
Got to
let the big boys breathe.

304
00:22:09,619 --> 00:22:11,787
All
right, we play by my rules now.

305
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:14,999
Football questions only.
Prepare to strip, ladies.

306
00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:18,920
Wait. But first,
does anybody want a beer?

307
00:22:19,003 --> 00:22:20,129
I do.

308
00:22:20,213 --> 00:22:24,634
The counselors have a secret
stash in the fridge across the hall.

309
00:22:24,717 --> 00:22:25,843
Would you mind?

310
00:22:25,927 --> 00:22:28,930
Now we're talking about
a fucking party.

311
00:22:29,138 --> 00:22:30,806
Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy.

312
00:22:30,932 --> 00:22:32,433
Uh, uh, uh, uh.

313
00:22:32,809 --> 00:22:35,353
I mean,
there's nobody around

314
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,355
and we haven't seen
your best side yet.

315
00:22:44,779 --> 00:22:46,864
Yes! We got him.

316
00:22:49,367 --> 00:22:50,910
So busted.

317
00:22:58,501 --> 00:23:00,961
Man, big boys, wake up.

318
00:23:01,087 --> 00:23:03,339
Just gotta turn down the AC
in there, huh?

319
00:23:03,590 --> 00:23:04,757
Good night, girls.

320
00:23:11,973 --> 00:23:14,600
Sorry, asshole, game's over.

321
00:23:14,684 --> 00:23:19,184
Yeah, the big boys
will love the long walk home.

322
00:23:20,523 --> 00:23:22,024
Room
check, girls.

323
00:23:23,359 --> 00:23:24,485
Oh, shit.

324
00:23:24,861 --> 00:23:27,113
Ditch his clothes.
Out the window.

325
00:23:28,197 --> 00:23:30,657
All right,
who wants a long neck?

326
00:23:37,373 --> 00:23:38,624
Nurse Sanders.

327
00:23:42,670 --> 00:23:43,921
They set me up.
He attacked us

328
00:23:44,005 --> 00:23:45,923
with pepper spray
and ruined our graduation.

329
00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:47,258
I went there
for a friendly game...

330
00:23:47,342 --> 00:23:48,926
Hold it. Hold it. Kids.

331
00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:50,302
Okay...

332
00:23:50,553 --> 00:23:52,304
Where are your clothes?

333
00:23:55,350 --> 00:23:56,684
I have them.

334
00:23:57,268 --> 00:23:59,436
May I ask why?
Well, they got me naked...

335
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:02,439
Oh, whatever. He took his own
pants off... And they stole my clothes.

336
00:24:02,523 --> 00:24:04,983
And I got stuck up there with
Mrs. Doubtfire checking out my...

337
00:24:11,824 --> 00:24:13,534
Let me see
if I have this straight.

338
00:24:13,701 --> 00:24:18,201
Elyse, you think Matt is an arrogant
jock who wears his penis on his forehead

339
00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:21,793
just to gain the approval
of his sociopathic brother.

340
00:24:22,126 --> 00:24:25,796
And, Matt, you think Elyse
is an uptight, geeky prude

341
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,632
who needs to loosen up
and get laid.

342
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,011
Excuse the expression, dear. Is
that close to being on the money?

343
00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:35,264
Look, kids...

344
00:24:36,432 --> 00:24:38,976
The only way
to solve your differences

345
00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:41,228
is by working together.

346
00:24:42,313 --> 00:24:44,189
So why don't you start
tomorrow

347
00:24:44,607 --> 00:24:47,693
by putting one foot
in front of the other?

348
00:24:51,489 --> 00:24:53,282
Left flank hut.

349
00:24:55,493 --> 00:24:56,994
Turn and hut.

350
00:25:04,877 --> 00:25:05,961
What the fuck!

351
00:25:07,839 --> 00:25:09,382
Band 10 hut!

352
00:25:09,632 --> 00:25:10,841
Holy shit.

353
00:25:11,217 --> 00:25:14,762
When I yell "band 10 hut,"
you snap firmly at attention.

354
00:25:15,013 --> 00:25:16,639
You want to see me
firmly at attention?

355
00:25:16,723 --> 00:25:18,474
I already have.
I wasn't impressed.

356
00:25:21,769 --> 00:25:22,853
Look...

357
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:25,690
We've never beaten Beechwood,
okay?

358
00:25:26,566 --> 00:25:28,526
For some of us,
it's our last shot.

359
00:25:31,404 --> 00:25:32,988
Just stop screwing up, okay?

360
00:25:33,531 --> 00:25:34,657
Yeah, asshole.

361
00:25:36,951 --> 00:25:39,244
Okay, people, back to
work, let's go. Whatever.

362
00:25:39,328 --> 00:25:40,370
I don't need this shit.

363
00:25:40,455 --> 00:25:43,082
Reset the block.
Front ranks, right here.

364
00:25:57,472 --> 00:25:59,182
Housekeeping.

365
00:26:26,167 --> 00:26:28,586
Oscar, brought me
something to drink?

366
00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:30,463
Come on.
Good looking out, baby.

367
00:26:34,509 --> 00:26:36,260
Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz.

368
00:26:36,344 --> 00:26:39,472
So you finally came out
of the closet. Good for you.

369
00:26:40,681 --> 00:26:43,225
Look, I want to know what
goes on at night, all right?

370
00:26:43,309 --> 00:26:45,936
All the crazy shit.
Naked pillow fights, whatever.

371
00:26:46,020 --> 00:26:49,523
Do I look like the guy that's in
charge of the naked pillow fights, huh?

372
00:26:49,690 --> 00:26:51,149
It's my first time here.

373
00:26:51,234 --> 00:26:52,443
Notice the beanie?

374
00:26:52,693 --> 00:26:53,777
Yes.

375
00:26:54,612 --> 00:26:56,196
Yes, I do.

376
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,616
Yes, speaking of beanies,
where's yours, Stifler?

377
00:26:59,867 --> 00:27:01,827
You still not following
the rules, huh?

378
00:27:01,911 --> 00:27:03,913
Let's see. Look. He's
getting in trouble again.

379
00:27:03,996 --> 00:27:07,416
No standard-issue Tall
Oaks T-shirt and no beanie.

380
00:27:07,500 --> 00:27:10,836
I believe that's two points
from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson.

381
00:27:11,129 --> 00:27:13,005
Tell you what,
Vande-cramp,

382
00:27:13,297 --> 00:27:16,091
what if I took
his beanie

383
00:27:16,175 --> 00:27:18,927
and put it on my weenie?

384
00:27:19,011 --> 00:27:23,140
How do you like that Vande-cramp?
It's on my head, right? Huh?

385
00:27:23,307 --> 00:27:25,517
Make it five points
from Great Falls.

386
00:27:25,685 --> 00:27:26,977
Five points.

387
00:27:27,061 --> 00:27:30,230
Man, this place sucks
donkey ass.

388
00:27:32,233 --> 00:27:33,525
Ugh...

389
00:27:35,319 --> 00:27:37,070
Put your beanie on, son.

390
00:27:42,910 --> 00:27:44,745
Five points.

391
00:28:08,311 --> 00:28:10,604
Stay still. Stop moving.

392
00:28:10,688 --> 00:28:12,439
He ain't going nowhere now.

393
00:28:12,523 --> 00:28:15,859
This isn't your world. This is our
world, and we don't want you in it.

394
00:28:15,943 --> 00:28:18,195
You already cost us
five points in the standings.

395
00:28:18,279 --> 00:28:20,030
We can't have that.

396
00:28:20,323 --> 00:28:22,033
Set the man up
with his beanie.

397
00:28:29,790 --> 00:28:31,500
Now you're representing, fool.

398
00:28:31,584 --> 00:28:33,043
And this toothpaste

399
00:28:33,169 --> 00:28:35,880
this will make up
for the pepper spray, asshole.

400
00:28:49,602 --> 00:28:51,020
Oh, shit.

401
00:28:52,230 --> 00:28:54,649
I'll get the paint thinner
from maintenance.

402
00:28:55,858 --> 00:28:57,234
Animals.

403
00:29:07,745 --> 00:29:11,915
Matt, you were sent here

404
00:29:12,291 --> 00:29:13,750
to make a change.

405
00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:17,671
And, so far, you've only had
your sinuses sanitized. So...

406
00:29:18,089 --> 00:29:20,466
I think it's time
to try a new approach.

407
00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:22,885
Make some friends.

408
00:29:24,470 --> 00:29:26,305
Earn their trust.

409
00:29:28,599 --> 00:29:30,851
Why would I want
to earn their trust?

410
00:29:34,313 --> 00:29:36,106
Good.

411
00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,153
That's what I'm talking about.

412
00:29:42,863 --> 00:29:44,823
Welcome to Stifler-vision.

413
00:29:44,907 --> 00:29:47,409
I think there's
a cymbal class at 1:00.

414
00:29:47,535 --> 00:29:48,744
I hate that.

415
00:29:48,828 --> 00:29:51,038
Yeah, but it's better than
the bass drum relay.

416
00:29:51,122 --> 00:29:52,373
Yeah, that's true.

417
00:29:58,838 --> 00:30:00,714
Counselors going wild.

418
00:30:03,050 --> 00:30:05,218
Yours look totally fantastic.

419
00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:08,389
Two for the price of one.
My left one's bigger, see?

420
00:30:08,472 --> 00:30:12,058
Yeah, mine, too, baby.
They can totally fix that.

421
00:30:12,810 --> 00:30:14,269
That shampoo smells
awesome.

422
00:30:14,353 --> 00:30:17,689
Thanks. I get it from this Russian
lady who does my bikini wax.

423
00:30:17,815 --> 00:30:19,066
Brazilian or Playboy?

424
00:30:19,150 --> 00:30:21,402
Actually, I get mine
customized.

425
00:30:21,485 --> 00:30:23,737
Wanna see? MATT:
Oh, yeah, show me.

426
00:30:24,780 --> 00:30:27,657
Oh, my God, how cute.
There's a little music note.

427
00:30:27,742 --> 00:30:29,410
No!
Yeah, I used to be flat.

428
00:30:29,493 --> 00:30:32,412
Just like I used to
be. Lens fog. No!

429
00:30:43,674 --> 00:30:45,425
What is that thing,
butt weasel?

430
00:30:45,509 --> 00:30:47,552
Yeah, it's the KR3, baby.

431
00:30:47,636 --> 00:30:51,264
The Kaplowitz Remote Robotic
Rover. And you are so busted.

432
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:54,935
Hey, Oscar, somebody call the
Macro. Dude, please, shut up.

433
00:30:55,019 --> 00:30:58,814
Pull your panties out of your
ass. I can help you with that chick.

434
00:31:02,693 --> 00:31:03,735
What chick?

435
00:31:03,861 --> 00:31:06,321
Dude, the one with all
the tattoos. The Tubanator.

436
00:31:06,405 --> 00:31:07,864
Her name is Chloe.

437
00:31:08,532 --> 00:31:11,868
Come on, man. I can help.
I'm the Stiffmeister.

438
00:31:11,952 --> 00:31:14,746
Master of love and
romance. Bullshit.

439
00:31:14,914 --> 00:31:19,376
I nailed three cheerleaders in one week
on spring break. College cheerleaders.

440
00:31:29,929 --> 00:31:32,431
And I know why
your camera spritzed out.

441
00:31:35,142 --> 00:31:37,102
Dude, this thing
is awesome.

442
00:31:37,686 --> 00:31:40,772
You ever use this to
look up chicks' skirts? No.

443
00:31:40,856 --> 00:31:43,233
But I did use it to win the
State Science Fair last year.

444
00:31:43,317 --> 00:31:45,610
And I'm hoping it gets me
into MIT next fall.

445
00:31:45,694 --> 00:31:47,737
I really want
to work for NASA.

446
00:31:47,947 --> 00:31:50,449
National Anal Sex Association?

447
00:31:50,658 --> 00:31:52,409
No, it's Space...

448
00:31:53,202 --> 00:31:55,329
There's an
Anal Sex Association?

449
00:31:55,413 --> 00:31:57,915
Oh, yeah, but you've
got to be a pro.

450
00:31:59,458 --> 00:32:01,626
Wait, there's
a Space Association?

451
00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:05,214
You were supposed
to use this.

452
00:32:06,257 --> 00:32:10,511
See, it's got an anti-fog
lens. Duh. Yeah, good.

453
00:32:11,554 --> 00:32:16,054
Can the robot record? All right,
so, what are your intentions?

454
00:32:17,893 --> 00:32:20,395
With the video, I mean.
What are you doing?

455
00:32:20,521 --> 00:32:22,064
Oh, it's just for fun.

456
00:32:22,356 --> 00:32:25,776
I mean, who doesn't like to
look at hot naked chicks, right?

457
00:32:27,236 --> 00:32:29,279
Keep it between us,
and I'll let you watch.

458
00:32:29,905 --> 00:32:32,949
Plus, I'll have you giving Chloe
the pelvic noogie inside a week.

459
00:32:34,285 --> 00:32:36,787
Hey, Stifler. Phone.

460
00:32:37,204 --> 00:32:39,247
We're in Detroit!

461
00:32:39,623 --> 00:32:42,334
Locked into
sweet Brazilian rum.

462
00:32:42,418 --> 00:32:45,170
I'm fucking fubar, man!

463
00:32:45,254 --> 00:32:49,591
I sent you rum today. Could
come in handy in Dorksville.

464
00:32:49,717 --> 00:32:51,385
Man, this place blows.

465
00:32:52,595 --> 00:32:54,179
Hey, my roommate,
Dr. Robot,

466
00:32:54,263 --> 00:32:56,515
busted me taping some
college chicks in the shower.

467
00:32:56,599 --> 00:32:58,726
So now I have to be
all nice to him and shit.

468
00:32:58,809 --> 00:33:02,270
And I'm not getting any good footage
'cause these fucking bandies hate me.

469
00:33:03,981 --> 00:33:06,191
Think of it like trying
to hook up with a virgin.

470
00:33:06,275 --> 00:33:09,861
Act like you give a shit about them
until they bring you into the good stuff.

471
00:33:09,945 --> 00:33:11,821
Earn their trust?

472
00:33:12,448 --> 00:33:14,408
Dude, that could work.

473
00:33:14,533 --> 00:33:16,868
I'll be an undercover
bandy fucker.

474
00:33:17,995 --> 00:33:21,498
Hello, everyone. Isn't it a
peachy day here at Band Camp?

475
00:33:21,707 --> 00:33:25,585
Band buds.
How's it going? Yo.

476
00:33:26,337 --> 00:33:30,299
Hey, I just want to say thanks for
the little wake up call. You kidders.

477
00:33:31,425 --> 00:33:34,594
Hey, I can finally hear
the music calling me, okay?

478
00:33:35,262 --> 00:33:38,556
There.
Hear it? Yeah. Me, too.

479
00:33:38,849 --> 00:33:40,559
So I'm a totally
new man, and...

480
00:33:40,643 --> 00:33:43,479
By the way, you both
look great in pantyhose.

481
00:33:53,906 --> 00:33:57,200
What are you doing? Awaiting
my marching lesson, ma'am.

482
00:33:57,284 --> 00:33:59,744
Look, Matt, I really don't
have time for this right now.

483
00:33:59,828 --> 00:34:03,414
No, look, I figure I'm here, I
might as well make the best of it.

484
00:34:03,499 --> 00:34:06,919
Matt, marching's hard, okay?
It's not like throwing some football.

485
00:34:07,002 --> 00:34:08,712
Oh, you ever thrown
into double coverage?

486
00:34:08,796 --> 00:34:10,506
You ever high-stepped
in double time?

487
00:34:10,589 --> 00:34:13,842
Yes, ma'am, the time the cops
chased us across Koreno's Creek.

488
00:34:14,927 --> 00:34:17,804
And you got so scared,
you cried.

489
00:34:18,514 --> 00:34:22,684
I had allergies.
It was winter, Mattie.

490
00:34:23,644 --> 00:34:27,105
Well, if you don't teach me to
march, I might just cry again.

491
00:34:30,526 --> 00:34:31,693
Fine.

492
00:34:31,986 --> 00:34:36,031
Left foot on one and three,
right foot on two and four.

493
00:34:36,115 --> 00:34:37,658
You have to do math?

494
00:34:46,208 --> 00:34:50,128
One, two, three, middle.
One, two, three, line.

495
00:34:50,212 --> 00:34:52,464
Right foot on four.

496
00:34:54,717 --> 00:34:57,219
Keep your step
size even. My what?

497
00:34:58,804 --> 00:35:02,265
All right, there we go, little
buddy. I'm gonna fix you up good.

498
00:35:03,892 --> 00:35:07,020
Any girl that knows how to
play a tuba, she can do things.

499
00:35:07,104 --> 00:35:08,688
That's what Stifler says.

500
00:35:08,772 --> 00:35:11,399
I don't know what it means,
but it's got to be good.

501
00:35:11,483 --> 00:35:12,734
You're good to go.

502
00:35:12,818 --> 00:35:14,402
Let's go find Chloe.

503
00:35:27,166 --> 00:35:28,417
Holy shit.

504
00:35:29,627 --> 00:35:32,921
What the hell?
Who's doing this?

505
00:35:35,549 --> 00:35:36,633
Take it.

506
00:35:36,759 --> 00:35:37,801
It's okay.

507
00:35:47,227 --> 00:35:50,855
Thanks, little creepy
machine. You're welcome...

508
00:35:51,273 --> 00:35:52,983
Beautiful lady.

509
00:36:08,415 --> 00:36:12,710
With my right, with my right, but I
can also do it with my left, with my left.

510
00:36:16,215 --> 00:36:17,299
Bootie.

511
00:36:18,550 --> 00:36:19,676
Good game.

512
00:36:20,302 --> 00:36:22,387
Good game. Good game. Good
game. Good game. Good game.

513
00:36:26,058 --> 00:36:27,893
You just touched my bootie.

514
00:36:34,942 --> 00:36:37,361
What's that?
Your instrument.

515
00:36:37,820 --> 00:36:39,613
That's fucking gay.

516
00:36:40,531 --> 00:36:42,658
I mean lame.
Good.

517
00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:46,203
Now, there are
two positions.

518
00:36:46,870 --> 00:36:51,040
Carrying position, like this,
and playing position, like this.

519
00:36:51,208 --> 00:36:52,876
Now when I call,
"horns up,"

520
00:36:53,001 --> 00:36:55,086
you're gonna move your
instrument out, and then...

521
00:36:55,170 --> 00:36:56,838
Hello, losers.

522
00:36:57,005 --> 00:37:00,800
Matt. Oh, my God.
Matt, I am so sorry.

523
00:37:00,884 --> 00:37:03,177
I think I bit a hole in my
tongue. Oh, let me see.

524
00:37:03,262 --> 00:37:05,764
No, no hole.
On today's episode,

525
00:37:06,056 --> 00:37:08,391
wasting time
on lost causes.

526
00:37:09,935 --> 00:37:11,519
Speaking of which,
I understand

527
00:37:11,603 --> 00:37:14,063
you composed the music
to your show, Elyse,

528
00:37:14,148 --> 00:37:15,774
if you call that music.

529
00:37:15,899 --> 00:37:18,318
Yeah. That's right.
I did.

530
00:37:18,402 --> 00:37:20,612
And who'd your daddy hire
to compose yours?

531
00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:25,238
I'm just giving you fair warning,
cupcake. Robards Scholarship is mine.

532
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,578
Like you need it.

533
00:37:27,911 --> 00:37:30,914
It's not a matter of need.
It's a matter of want.

534
00:37:31,165 --> 00:37:32,666
Yeah, I get what I want.

535
00:37:32,916 --> 00:37:34,584
Why don't
you shut the fuck up?

536
00:37:34,668 --> 00:37:35,794
Matt, don't.

537
00:37:36,962 --> 00:37:39,714
What are you going
to do? Kick your ass.

538
00:37:39,923 --> 00:37:41,716
Are you challenging me?
No.

539
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,178
Yeah, what if I am? No, Brandon,
that is not what he's doing.

540
00:37:45,262 --> 00:37:48,098
I accept.
Amphitheatre, 5:00.

541
00:37:48,474 --> 00:37:51,351
It's been three years
since I've been challenged.

542
00:37:51,602 --> 00:37:53,478
We got a challenge.

543
00:37:56,190 --> 00:37:58,609
I look forward
to reminding people why.

544
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:00,944
<i>East Great Falls.
Hoo, ha!</i>

545
00:38:01,195 --> 00:38:03,405
I'll see you there, asshole.

546
00:38:05,282 --> 00:38:06,491
Do you know
what you just did?

547
00:38:06,575 --> 00:38:08,910
Doesn't matter.
Fucker's going down.

548
00:38:08,994 --> 00:38:11,663
Matt, you challenged him
to a duel.

549
00:38:11,955 --> 00:38:13,164
With swords?

550
00:38:13,791 --> 00:38:17,628
No, you idiot. You each
get on stage and perform.

551
00:38:17,711 --> 00:38:19,754
And the crowd decides
who wins.

552
00:38:20,255 --> 00:38:22,173
Can't we just do
keg stands?

553
00:38:22,758 --> 00:38:27,179
Matt, this is serious, okay?
Beechwood gets five points if he wins,

554
00:38:27,262 --> 00:38:30,556
which, you know, he will
because he plays an instrument.

555
00:38:30,766 --> 00:38:32,559
Well, so do I.

556
00:38:33,101 --> 00:38:35,895
Let the Tall
Oaks Battle Royale begin.

557
00:38:36,480 --> 00:38:39,357
The prize is five points
towards the cup.

558
00:38:40,275 --> 00:38:42,235
Okay, Brandon,
you're up first.

559
00:39:26,321 --> 00:39:27,572
Come on!

560
00:39:29,908 --> 00:39:32,493
Suck on that, bitch.

561
00:39:33,495 --> 00:39:34,829
Lame.

562
00:39:35,539 --> 00:39:37,123
This is so embarrassing.

563
00:39:37,207 --> 00:39:38,458
Okay, Brandon.

564
00:39:38,542 --> 00:39:40,168
Now you show him, Brandon.

565
00:39:58,353 --> 00:39:59,562
Take that!

566
00:40:10,949 --> 00:40:13,493
Well, seems
this contest is over.

567
00:40:14,703 --> 00:40:17,080
Figures. We just lost
five points.

568
00:40:19,416 --> 00:40:22,419
And the winner
by forfeit is...

569
00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:26,882
But I know
it's not his fault...

570
00:40:44,650 --> 00:40:48,695
Play that funky music white boy

571
00:40:49,738 --> 00:40:51,489
You don't know
the words.

572
00:40:52,074 --> 00:40:54,993
Play that funk music
white boy

573
00:40:55,744 --> 00:40:57,370
Lay down that boogie

574
00:40:57,454 --> 00:40:59,956
And play that funky music
till you die

575
00:41:13,428 --> 00:41:15,012
He should shave that.

576
00:41:17,849 --> 00:41:19,934
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

577
00:41:20,102 --> 00:41:22,145
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

578
00:41:22,229 --> 00:41:24,606
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

579
00:41:24,815 --> 00:41:26,483
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

580
00:41:29,611 --> 00:41:31,696
Okay, five points
to Great Falls.

581
00:41:34,074 --> 00:41:36,076
All right, Great Falls!

582
00:41:38,453 --> 00:41:40,580
East Great Falls!

583
00:41:40,664 --> 00:41:42,999
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

584
00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:44,960
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

585
00:41:45,043 --> 00:41:47,170
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

586
00:41:47,254 --> 00:41:49,631
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!

587
00:41:50,966 --> 00:41:52,384
Hey. Hey. Hey.

588
00:41:52,634 --> 00:41:54,719
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
What?

589
00:41:54,803 --> 00:41:57,263
Are you really Scottish?
Fuck, no.

590
00:41:58,098 --> 00:41:59,557
My mom made me
learn an instrument.

591
00:41:59,641 --> 00:42:01,726
That's the most annoying one
I could think of.

592
00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:05,647
I think you were just born to
squeeze sacks and blow pipes, Stifler.

593
00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:07,190
Hey, Oscar.

594
00:42:11,945 --> 00:42:14,614
How many other Oscars
do you know? Go!

595
00:42:16,992 --> 00:42:19,369
What's up? Your drum
line sounds pretty tight.

596
00:42:19,494 --> 00:42:20,536
Oh, thanks.

597
00:42:20,662 --> 00:42:22,580
You let me know if you want
to learn some new moves.

598
00:42:22,664 --> 00:42:23,665
Really?

599
00:42:23,749 --> 00:42:25,625
He's gonna screw it up. He's
definitely gonna screw it up.

600
00:42:25,709 --> 00:42:26,710
Hey.

601
00:42:28,336 --> 00:42:30,171
Thanks for winning
those points back.

602
00:42:30,255 --> 00:42:32,674
I lost them.
I had to get them back.

603
00:42:33,425 --> 00:42:36,344
Hey, guys, Sheree's gonna
show me some moves.

604
00:42:37,012 --> 00:42:38,138
Hey, gang,

605
00:42:38,221 --> 00:42:41,098
just a little reminder that
as the battle for the cup

606
00:42:41,183 --> 00:42:42,642
heats up,
let's try to remember

607
00:42:42,726 --> 00:42:47,105
to keep up that Tall Oaks spirit of
fair play and friendly competition.

608
00:42:48,190 --> 00:42:50,525
We'll have
enough spit for a six-pack.

609
00:42:53,779 --> 00:42:56,740
Yeah, baby, you did me
proud, son. Thanks, J.Lo.

610
00:42:56,865 --> 00:42:58,283
It's cool.
Big O?

611
00:42:58,700 --> 00:43:01,703
Quite a little show you put on
yesterday, Stifler.

612
00:43:01,870 --> 00:43:04,539
You know, these plebes think
you're some kind of hero.

613
00:43:04,706 --> 00:43:06,958
I don't know
what a plebe is, Vande-creep.

614
00:43:07,042 --> 00:43:10,253
Didn't anybody tell you not to mess
with the big dog while he's eating?

615
00:43:10,337 --> 00:43:13,089
It's mine, jerk-wad.
Now will you give it back?

616
00:43:14,549 --> 00:43:17,802
Dildos. This is still
my camp, asshole.

617
00:43:18,053 --> 00:43:20,597
You're going down.
No, I'm not.

618
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:21,806
But your mom did
last night.

619
00:43:21,890 --> 00:43:24,475
Did she play the trumpet?
Because she has really strong lips.

620
00:43:25,644 --> 00:43:26,895
That's right.

621
00:43:34,528 --> 00:43:36,404
Mmm!

622
00:43:37,447 --> 00:43:39,031
Mmm, mmm, mmm!

623
00:43:42,452 --> 00:43:43,619
Yummy.

624
00:43:46,957 --> 00:43:49,334
That's what I'm
talking about. Whoo!

625
00:43:50,544 --> 00:43:51,920
What happened
this time, Claire?

626
00:43:52,003 --> 00:43:53,504
Well, I was working
on my solo

627
00:43:53,588 --> 00:43:55,047
and I hurt myself.

628
00:43:55,924 --> 00:43:57,759
I've been
fucking poisoned.

629
00:43:58,718 --> 00:44:01,554
Ipecac is
a natural herbal extract

630
00:44:01,638 --> 00:44:04,724
that triggers
the regurgitation reflex.

631
00:44:09,187 --> 00:44:11,856
Whatever's in there
should be out soon enough.

632
00:44:12,190 --> 00:44:13,900
Like him,
if we're lucky.

633
00:44:15,694 --> 00:44:19,489
Well, I'm pretty sure it's
probably just something

634
00:44:19,865 --> 00:44:24,244
you had for lunch, you know? I've got
the same problem. Very sensitive stomach.

635
00:44:24,870 --> 00:44:28,164
I was at a banquet once. On the
same plate, if you can believe it,

636
00:44:28,248 --> 00:44:30,750
they had creamed venison,

637
00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:33,294
squid fritters
and jellied pork.

638
00:44:39,217 --> 00:44:40,384
What?

639
00:45:00,697 --> 00:45:02,115
Hey, what's up,
crust bucket?

640
00:45:02,199 --> 00:45:03,491
Come here, dude.
Check this out.

641
00:45:03,575 --> 00:45:05,702
So, this afternoon,
while the counselors

642
00:45:05,785 --> 00:45:07,411
were practicing
for the talent show,

643
00:45:07,495 --> 00:45:10,372
I faked an asthma attack, and
I changed both of the cameras.

644
00:45:11,583 --> 00:45:14,210
Oh, shit! What the hell
are they doing?

645
00:45:14,294 --> 00:45:16,963
It's their talent show
routine, au naturel.

646
00:45:17,380 --> 00:45:20,091
Dude, you filthy little
cyberfucker. Shit.

647
00:45:20,926 --> 00:45:22,594
Hey, I thought we were
just going to watch.

648
00:45:22,677 --> 00:45:25,388
Exactly, we may want
to watch it again.

649
00:45:26,973 --> 00:45:31,473
Oh, yes. Counselors
gone wild. Dancing white ta-tas.

650
00:45:31,937 --> 00:45:36,437
Hey, so, I took your advice about
Chloe. I used the Rover to deliver a soda.

651
00:45:37,108 --> 00:45:39,026
That was your cool,
crazy idea?

652
00:45:39,110 --> 00:45:40,820
Yeah, I think
she actually liked it.

653
00:45:40,904 --> 00:45:43,948
Yeah, that sounds gay.
It's not gay.

654
00:45:45,617 --> 00:45:48,494
Anyway, there's this
bonfire-slushee party tonight

655
00:45:48,578 --> 00:45:51,289
and I really need to know
Step Two in the Stiffmeister plan.

656
00:45:51,915 --> 00:45:55,501
Slushee party. Really.

657
00:45:55,835 --> 00:45:57,419
Special delivery.

658
00:45:57,545 --> 00:45:59,630
Prepare to jam
with the bearded clam.

659
00:45:59,965 --> 00:46:02,008
Get ready to cuddle
the love puddle.

660
00:46:02,300 --> 00:46:05,636
The time has come
for Dr. Robot to get laid.

661
00:46:05,804 --> 00:46:06,930
Get laid?

662
00:46:07,097 --> 00:46:09,766
I told you,
trust the Stiffmeister.

663
00:46:09,975 --> 00:46:12,769
Meister means "master"
in German.

664
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:17,857
Get her drunk? That's the secret of
the ages? That's Step Number Two?

665
00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:19,776
No, actually, it's Step Four.

666
00:46:19,859 --> 00:46:22,528
You don't have the balls for
Two or the tongue for Three.

667
00:46:23,196 --> 00:46:24,697
I've got the balls.

668
00:46:25,282 --> 00:46:27,826
Hey, you haven't heard
Step Five yet.

669
00:46:31,621 --> 00:46:34,999
Born to be wild

670
00:46:38,962 --> 00:46:42,632
Well, I'm hot-blooded
check it and see

671
00:46:43,008 --> 00:46:46,761
I've got a fever of 103

672
00:46:46,845 --> 00:46:49,681
Come on, baby
do you do more than dance?

673
00:46:51,474 --> 00:46:54,226
This is some good shit.
Don't enjoy it too much.

674
00:46:54,352 --> 00:46:57,813
We have a big practice
tomorrow, you guys. Relax, Leesy.

675
00:46:58,189 --> 00:47:01,400
Suckle the tender fruits of
Band Camp with your friends.

676
00:47:01,526 --> 00:47:05,404
Come on, Elyse. Cut loose
a little bit. Have some fun.

677
00:47:05,488 --> 00:47:06,822
I am having fun.

678
00:47:06,906 --> 00:47:09,909
Hey, horn dog, let's go get some
more of these before they run out.

679
00:47:09,993 --> 00:47:12,412
All right.
Horn dog?

680
00:47:12,495 --> 00:47:16,995
Yeah, it's his nickname. Dude will stick
his dick into anything. It's unnatural.

681
00:47:18,043 --> 00:47:21,921
Check it, dawg. This one time
at Band Camp, I fucked an oboe.

682
00:47:22,964 --> 00:47:25,341
Really?
Blow in it for a while,

683
00:47:25,425 --> 00:47:29,925
get that wood nice and warm, slap
on some valve oil and go to town, yo.

684
00:47:30,263 --> 00:47:32,431
Hey, maybe you should
try a flute.

685
00:47:35,643 --> 00:47:36,935
Hey.

686
00:47:37,062 --> 00:47:39,564
Now's a good time
to teach you those moves.

687
00:47:39,647 --> 00:47:40,689
Really?

688
00:47:46,363 --> 00:47:47,530
What?

689
00:48:01,961 --> 00:48:03,420
I know what you're doing.

690
00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:04,547
You do?

691
00:48:05,006 --> 00:48:07,591
It's what you always do.
You're a fake.

692
00:48:07,884 --> 00:48:11,012
You do whatever it takes
to be the center of attention.

693
00:48:11,096 --> 00:48:14,933
Just like when we were Kids,
around me, you were regular old Matt,

694
00:48:15,141 --> 00:48:18,561
but around Steve and his
friends, you were the Stiffmeister.

695
00:48:19,646 --> 00:48:21,189
Who're you going
to be tonight?

696
00:48:21,439 --> 00:48:23,065
Hey, cheese dick,

697
00:48:23,149 --> 00:48:26,986
why don't you quit being such a fucking
taint ticker, and get me another slushee.

698
00:48:27,654 --> 00:48:29,489
Fucking puss monkey.

699
00:48:37,497 --> 00:48:40,082
You know what?
I am going to have some fun.

700
00:48:48,091 --> 00:48:51,177
Fucking hoes, man.
I don't get that shit.

701
00:48:51,302 --> 00:48:55,180
I mean, right now, Oscar's off in the woods
tapping that counselor biatch, Sheree.

702
00:48:55,306 --> 00:48:58,100
What's up with that? That
cock spring is getting laid?

703
00:48:58,184 --> 00:49:01,187
True that. And here we are,
the two dopest homeboys in camp

704
00:49:01,271 --> 00:49:05,608
and we ain't got no prospects for
our palm pilots. That's fucked up, dawg.

705
00:49:06,025 --> 00:49:08,027
Dude, I gotta see this.

706
00:49:11,281 --> 00:49:12,448
Use your hips more.

707
00:49:12,532 --> 00:49:13,616
Hips, like that?

708
00:49:13,700 --> 00:49:17,578
Yeah, now faster. Yeah.
Like that. A circle. Like that.

709
00:49:17,704 --> 00:49:21,833
Crikey! The
alpha female has chosen an unlikely mate.

710
00:49:21,916 --> 00:49:24,543
Will he survive
this dangerous encounter

711
00:49:24,794 --> 00:49:29,215
or will she satisfy her primal needs
and then devour him for dinner?

712
00:49:29,549 --> 00:49:31,133
Stay tuned.

713
00:49:31,468 --> 00:49:35,054
I'm sorry. I'm
really no good at this stuff.

714
00:49:35,138 --> 00:49:37,181
Relax.
You're doing fine.

715
00:49:40,768 --> 00:49:42,269
This sucks.

716
00:49:42,604 --> 00:49:45,106
How's that feel?
Oscar.

717
00:49:45,190 --> 00:49:47,901
Is that your drumstick
poking me?

718
00:49:49,068 --> 00:49:51,028
I don't have
my drumsticks.

719
00:49:51,112 --> 00:49:53,906
Are you standing up
for me again, Oscar?

720
00:49:54,449 --> 00:49:56,200
It's getting hot.

721
00:49:56,451 --> 00:49:59,370
Smack my ass
and call me cowboy.

722
00:49:59,537 --> 00:50:02,331
Hello,
Double-D Sheree.

723
00:50:02,874 --> 00:50:04,584
Hips. Hips.

724
00:50:04,876 --> 00:50:06,502
Use your hips.
Oh, yeah, hips.

725
00:50:06,586 --> 00:50:08,421
And step, and...

726
00:50:10,924 --> 00:50:13,051
Who knew?

727
00:50:13,801 --> 00:50:15,219
Wow.

728
00:50:16,763 --> 00:50:17,889
Oh, shit!

729
00:50:17,972 --> 00:50:19,807
You're a sweet guy, Oscar.

730
00:50:19,891 --> 00:50:22,393
Bandeez
Gone Wild. Scene 69.

731
00:50:22,477 --> 00:50:24,812
Double-D Sheree
and Big O.

732
00:50:27,440 --> 00:50:29,984
Yo, we at Tall Oaks
sipping on juice

733
00:50:30,068 --> 00:50:32,278
Got horns, trumpets
rhythm and flutes

734
00:50:32,362 --> 00:50:34,655
Great Falls laying it down

735
00:50:34,739 --> 00:50:37,366
Gonna ride fucking Beechwood
out of the town

736
00:50:37,450 --> 00:50:39,785
J.C., what
rocking the bunch

737
00:50:39,869 --> 00:50:42,913
All tripped out
on the fucking fruit punch

738
00:50:47,752 --> 00:50:50,004
Hey, are you sure
about this? I mean...

739
00:50:50,088 --> 00:50:53,591
| just want to be
respectful. Oh, that's sweet.

740
00:50:54,050 --> 00:50:57,928
But right now, I just want you
to respect me real hard and bad.

741
00:50:59,597 --> 00:51:01,473
Lucky son of a bitch.

742
00:51:01,641 --> 00:51:04,268
The only person who's
gonna get laid around here.

743
00:51:13,444 --> 00:51:15,487
Hello, oboe.

744
00:51:32,171 --> 00:51:33,964
This is so cool.

745
00:51:35,675 --> 00:51:40,012
I hope I didn't scare
you with the Rover and the soda.

746
00:51:40,138 --> 00:51:41,973
No, man,
it was cute.

747
00:51:43,016 --> 00:51:46,602
Nobody's ever been that
sweet to me in my whole life.

748
00:51:47,186 --> 00:51:48,562
Plus, to be honest,

749
00:51:49,355 --> 00:51:52,483
metal really turns me on.

750
00:51:52,984 --> 00:51:53,985
Oh.

751
00:52:19,344 --> 00:52:21,512
Man, the shit's stuck.

752
00:52:45,870 --> 00:52:48,372
Turn off the lights.
Damn, gangsta.

753
00:52:48,498 --> 00:52:49,499
I was just fucking
with you, dawg!

754
00:52:49,582 --> 00:52:51,125
You... It's stuck.

755
00:52:51,209 --> 00:52:53,669
Shit, you want help?
Don't touch me.

756
00:52:55,171 --> 00:52:56,213
Come on.

757
00:52:56,839 --> 00:52:58,257
Maybe you should blow on it.

758
00:52:58,341 --> 00:53:00,217
Maybe you should
blow on it and I'll pull.

759
00:53:00,301 --> 00:53:02,553
Hell, no. Jimmy ain't
putting his lips on that thing.

760
00:53:02,637 --> 00:53:04,096
Jimmy should be
a team player.

761
00:53:04,180 --> 00:53:06,432
- Try and relax, dawg.
- Not so hard.

762
00:53:06,516 --> 00:53:08,059
Oh, my God!

763
00:53:14,524 --> 00:53:16,567
I was just trying
to help him get it off, yo.

764
00:53:16,651 --> 00:53:18,569
Dude, shut up.

765
00:53:18,653 --> 00:53:19,779
Whatever.

766
00:53:19,862 --> 00:53:21,905
He had an allergic reaction
to the valve oil.

767
00:53:21,989 --> 00:53:24,658
The swelling should go down
in a few minutes.

768
00:53:24,909 --> 00:53:29,038
These kinds of things would
never happen with our old Macro.

769
00:53:50,059 --> 00:53:52,895
We didn't have MTV
when I was growing up.

770
00:53:54,230 --> 00:53:56,815
So maybe it's
the over-stimulated times

771
00:53:56,899 --> 00:54:01,028
that we live in that causes
young men to stick their

772
00:54:01,738 --> 00:54:04,699
instruments in
such odd places.

773
00:54:06,576 --> 00:54:08,160
I knew a certain
young man once

774
00:54:08,244 --> 00:54:11,580
who actually engaged in sexual
congress with an apple pie.

775
00:54:11,748 --> 00:54:13,583
And he turned out just fine.

776
00:54:14,125 --> 00:54:17,086
So, you're perfectly normal...

777
00:54:18,212 --> 00:54:19,755
As these things go.

778
00:54:34,145 --> 00:54:35,146
Hey.

779
00:54:38,107 --> 00:54:41,235
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.

780
00:54:41,319 --> 00:54:45,819
I'm so drunk right now. I'm
probably going to forget about you

781
00:54:47,283 --> 00:54:49,410
porking an oboe.

782
00:54:58,461 --> 00:55:00,254
I have six piercings.

783
00:55:01,672 --> 00:55:04,299
That doesn't include
the ones on my face.

784
00:55:17,814 --> 00:55:19,232
Two right here...

785
00:55:21,609 --> 00:55:24,653
And four down here.

786
00:55:36,249 --> 00:55:38,209
Haven't seen that
in a while.

787
00:55:38,709 --> 00:55:43,209
Yeah, well, no time for dance.
It's all about band, band, band.

788
00:55:43,840 --> 00:55:45,842
No, I was talking
about you having fun.

789
00:55:45,925 --> 00:55:49,261
I have fun. I have
fun all the time. Yeah.

790
00:55:49,345 --> 00:55:51,555
I just get stressed out,
you know. I mean...

791
00:55:52,849 --> 00:55:55,059
We graduate next year,
and I don't know.

792
00:55:55,142 --> 00:55:57,185
I mean, I don't really
talk about it all that much

793
00:55:57,270 --> 00:56:00,231
because the cup is, like,
a team thing, and...

794
00:56:00,314 --> 00:56:03,525
But winning the Robards
Scholarship, I mean, that is like

795
00:56:03,609 --> 00:56:05,277
my future, you know?
And

796
00:56:06,153 --> 00:56:08,989
Dr. Choi is coming.
I mean,

797
00:56:09,198 --> 00:56:12,659
you don't understand.
She's like famous,

798
00:56:13,202 --> 00:56:16,205
like holy-shit famous.
And, sometimes, I just...

799
00:56:17,206 --> 00:56:18,916
I get really stressed out

800
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:22,837
and I calm myself down by going
off and playing on my Picardo.

801
00:56:23,379 --> 00:56:26,090
Wait, you have...
Picardo?

802
00:56:26,424 --> 00:56:29,009
It's just a cheapie,
but I lost it.

803
00:56:29,302 --> 00:56:32,471
Wait, if I somehow found this
Picard thing... You found it?

804
00:56:32,722 --> 00:56:34,640
Maybe.
Give it back.

805
00:56:34,974 --> 00:56:36,475
If you let me watch.

806
00:56:37,476 --> 00:56:40,479
Okay, but it takes me a while
to warm up.

807
00:56:40,563 --> 00:56:43,023
I have all the time
in the world.

808
00:56:45,651 --> 00:56:46,693
Figures.

809
00:56:48,571 --> 00:56:51,156
But I'm going to have
to be really drunk.

810
00:56:51,782 --> 00:56:55,118
I mean really drunk.
Really drunk.

811
00:56:56,329 --> 00:56:57,330
Yes.

812
00:56:57,914 --> 00:56:59,415
Beat it, jerk off.

813
00:57:18,601 --> 00:57:20,936
Okay, people,
let's take a break.

814
00:57:24,357 --> 00:57:26,484
We're all
a little sluggish today.

815
00:57:28,277 --> 00:57:29,903
Man, we suck.

816
00:57:29,987 --> 00:57:33,532
Man, one night of fun was not
worth losing a whole day of practice.

817
00:57:37,578 --> 00:57:39,079
Give me this thing.

818
00:57:39,538 --> 00:57:42,123
All right, listen up,
you lazy bunch of lip shits.

819
00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:44,168
Those Beechwood plebes
aren't taking breaks.

820
00:57:44,251 --> 00:57:47,170
We want to win this thing,
we've gotta bust our asses.

821
00:57:47,505 --> 00:57:49,632
Come on, bitches.
Back to work.

822
00:57:49,715 --> 00:57:52,509
Matt, that's my job. Grab your
cocks and move your Socks.

823
00:57:52,593 --> 00:57:54,720
We're at war here,
people, war!

824
00:57:54,804 --> 00:57:56,305
Show some tits.
Grow some balls.

825
00:57:56,389 --> 00:57:58,182
Hey, keep that thing
warm for me.

826
00:57:58,265 --> 00:58:00,850
All right, now. What, you want
to let Beechwood tittie-fuck us?

827
00:58:00,935 --> 00:58:01,977
I didn't think so.

828
00:58:02,061 --> 00:58:03,854
All right, Tall Oakers,

829
00:58:03,938 --> 00:58:06,982
we're in our final week.
Time to put on our game faces.

830
00:58:07,066 --> 00:58:10,235
And time to strap
yourselves in for a bumpy ride.

831
00:58:10,361 --> 00:58:12,279
I want the oboe, clarinet,
black thingies

832
00:58:12,405 --> 00:58:15,157
and we've got the rhythm
section in a full-on blitz.

833
00:58:15,241 --> 00:58:17,326
Are you with me,
bandies? - Yeah!

834
00:58:17,410 --> 00:58:19,578
Competition
for the Tall Oaks Cup is

835
00:58:19,662 --> 00:58:20,746
really heating up.

836
00:58:23,958 --> 00:58:25,459
Beechwood wins.

837
00:58:27,712 --> 00:58:28,713
Whatever.

838
00:58:28,796 --> 00:58:30,130
I told you,
you should let me steer.

839
00:58:30,256 --> 00:58:31,924
Take that bitch home, man.

840
00:58:32,258 --> 00:58:35,010
Drive it in.
Hey, you, fuck face...

841
00:58:35,094 --> 00:58:36,970
I don't even know
where to start with you.

842
00:58:43,477 --> 00:58:44,811
Beechwood leads.

843
00:58:44,895 --> 00:58:47,147
Great Falls and Lloyd
are tied for second.

844
00:58:47,231 --> 00:58:49,274
Beechwood licks nuts. Hut!

845
00:58:57,825 --> 00:59:00,244
Victory, East Great Falls.

846
00:59:03,539 --> 00:59:05,666
Right foot on line.

847
00:59:07,293 --> 00:59:09,503
Jimmy,
you fucking lotion lover.

848
00:59:16,635 --> 00:59:19,262
East Great
Falls by four points.

849
00:59:28,731 --> 00:59:30,566
Hey, butt pirates ahoy.

850
00:59:31,317 --> 00:59:32,568
Your little band

851
00:59:32,651 --> 00:59:34,611
may be leading
in the competition, Stifler...

852
00:59:36,405 --> 00:59:39,032
...but make sure to let
us know if you get thirsty.

853
00:59:39,116 --> 00:59:41,076
Yeah, 'cause there's plenty
of this.

854
00:59:46,707 --> 00:59:50,669
That's funny for you
dorks. Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.

855
00:59:50,878 --> 00:59:53,505
Man, screw that challenge.
I'm just gonna kick his ass.

856
00:59:53,589 --> 00:59:55,757
No, wait.
I've got a better idea,

857
00:59:56,675 --> 00:59:58,718
if you think
you're man enough.

858
01:00:10,773 --> 01:00:11,815
Yes.

859
01:00:11,899 --> 01:00:15,068
Hey, you sure you can do this?
Hey, born to be a porn star, baby.

860
01:00:15,152 --> 01:00:16,570
Delivery on demand.

861
01:00:17,738 --> 01:00:20,782
When I get back, I'll be
a million Stiflers lighter.

862
01:00:28,332 --> 01:00:30,292
Hey, ocupado.

863
01:00:30,376 --> 01:00:31,668
Sorry.

864
01:00:36,340 --> 01:00:37,591
Oh.

865
01:00:52,398 --> 01:00:54,983
Dude, how about
a courtesy flush, man?

866
01:00:55,067 --> 01:00:56,943
I'm trying to concentrate
in here.

867
01:01:02,449 --> 01:01:03,908
Sheree.

868
01:01:10,916 --> 01:01:13,335
Mattie.

869
01:01:13,419 --> 01:01:15,254
Double-D Sheree.

870
01:01:17,298 --> 01:01:19,675
Sheree. Yeah.

871
01:01:22,219 --> 01:01:23,762
Arianna.

872
01:01:25,556 --> 01:01:27,307
Oh, Arianna.

873
01:01:34,440 --> 01:01:35,858
Band, 10-hut!

874
01:01:36,108 --> 01:01:37,359
Leesy.

875
01:01:40,905 --> 01:01:42,740
Yeah, Leesy.

876
01:01:43,699 --> 01:01:44,991
Oh, yeah.

877
01:01:56,170 --> 01:01:57,504
Nurse Sanders.

878
01:01:57,588 --> 01:01:59,715
Go ahead,
give me that shot, baby.

879
01:01:59,798 --> 01:02:01,299
Naughty Nurse.

880
01:02:01,383 --> 01:02:04,219
More. Oh, yeah.

881
01:02:08,641 --> 01:02:10,768
It's coming. Oh, yeah.

882
01:02:12,811 --> 01:02:14,979
Oh, yeah, it's coming.

883
01:02:16,815 --> 01:02:18,608
Claire? No!

884
01:02:20,319 --> 01:02:23,196
Claire. Oh, Claire, baby.

885
01:02:23,405 --> 01:02:25,323
Claire...

886
01:02:25,449 --> 01:02:26,575
Claire...

887
01:02:29,078 --> 01:02:30,496
Claire.

888
01:02:44,843 --> 01:02:47,345
Courtesy flush. MAN: Oh, no!

889
01:02:48,514 --> 01:02:50,891
Brandon, I think
you're a really good drummer, so...

890
01:02:50,975 --> 01:02:52,059
Excuse me.

891
01:02:58,691 --> 01:03:00,693
Listen, this is your chance
to help.

892
01:03:04,196 --> 01:03:05,530
Hey, guys,

893
01:03:05,656 --> 01:03:09,368
don't forget your sunscreen.
Your bodies are your instruments.

894
01:03:09,493 --> 01:03:11,536
Yeah, you don't want to be
chapped for your solos.

895
01:03:11,662 --> 01:03:13,997
No, we don't. Bye now.

896
01:03:19,086 --> 01:03:21,338
What is that, 307
It's really thick.

897
01:03:31,724 --> 01:03:33,642
How's that taste, Vande-cock?

898
01:03:34,226 --> 01:03:36,353
Mmm! Good, huh?
Warm and salty? Yeah.

899
01:03:36,437 --> 01:03:40,232
It's a cum-pletely new
formula. 100% Stiffy juice...

900
01:03:40,357 --> 01:03:42,442
SPF 69.

901
01:03:49,199 --> 01:03:50,450
Suck on that.

902
01:03:51,577 --> 01:03:53,036
Yeah.
Stop, man.

903
01:03:53,120 --> 01:03:54,830
Yeah.
Ernie.

904
01:03:54,955 --> 01:03:56,373
Yeah.
Ernie.

905
01:04:05,883 --> 01:04:08,510
What you had before
was way better than this.

906
01:04:08,719 --> 01:04:12,556
This sounds like your over
active honor-society brain.

907
01:04:13,182 --> 01:04:16,643
Instead of your nasty, wet

908
01:04:17,728 --> 01:04:19,229
dirty-girl panties.

909
01:04:20,105 --> 01:04:22,107
It should be more spontaneous.

910
01:04:25,069 --> 01:04:26,403
Stop.

911
01:04:26,528 --> 01:04:29,322
Maybe you should hang out with
your friend Matt a little bit more.

912
01:04:29,406 --> 01:04:30,448
Yeah, right.

913
01:04:30,532 --> 01:04:34,077
I know he's a dick and
everything, but he's also got one.

914
01:04:34,244 --> 01:04:38,539
Make some love music, you know?
And then your notes will just cum to you.

915
01:04:39,124 --> 01:04:41,376
Oh, Matt!
Stop.

916
01:04:42,586 --> 01:04:44,087
Matt. Matt.

917
01:04:47,257 --> 01:04:49,759
Go long, you asshole. Go.

918
01:04:50,552 --> 01:04:52,428
Hey, Elyse.

919
01:04:53,639 --> 01:04:55,599
Throw it back. Come on.

920
01:04:56,433 --> 01:04:57,892
What you got?

921
01:05:01,188 --> 01:05:02,397
Oh! Oops!

922
01:05:05,609 --> 01:05:06,985
Missed. Sorry.

923
01:05:08,612 --> 01:05:10,322
Hey, if I have
to ring the triangle,

924
01:05:10,406 --> 01:05:12,324
you have to throw the
football, all right? Okay.

925
01:05:12,408 --> 01:05:14,284
Draw your arm back.
There you go.

926
01:05:14,368 --> 01:05:18,121
Shoulder to your target.
Right. Okay, now step forward.

927
01:05:18,205 --> 01:05:20,624
Come on we're not marching.
One foot.

928
01:05:20,707 --> 01:05:23,626
Argh. Okay. You're fine.
Ready? There you go.

929
01:05:23,836 --> 01:05:25,379
Draw the ball
over your ear

930
01:05:25,462 --> 01:05:28,798
and when you throw it, let it
roll right off your fingers, all right?

931
01:05:29,675 --> 01:05:30,801
Okay.

932
01:05:31,135 --> 01:05:32,636
Come on, throw it.

933
01:05:38,517 --> 01:05:40,310
See? I taught you something.
What?

934
01:05:40,394 --> 01:05:42,896
So every time I throw it,
you're gonna run and go get it?

935
01:05:42,980 --> 01:05:44,731
That's generally how it works.

936
01:05:44,815 --> 01:05:46,650
Like playing fetch
with my dog.

937
01:05:46,733 --> 01:05:50,528
Yeah, except I don't lick my
own balls. You would if you could.

938
01:05:50,863 --> 01:05:51,905
Oh, yeah.

939
01:05:53,532 --> 01:05:54,699
Okay, again.

940
01:05:55,659 --> 01:05:56,868
Right here.

941
01:05:58,078 --> 01:06:00,705
Look, that
one looks like a bunny.

942
01:06:01,039 --> 01:06:03,041
No, it doesn't. Uh-huh.

943
01:06:04,376 --> 01:06:06,461
Maybe a bunny with one nut.

944
01:06:06,670 --> 01:06:09,422
No, that's its tail.
Whatever you say.

945
01:06:12,801 --> 01:06:15,887
You think we'll win this
thing? Hell, yeah, we will.

946
01:06:16,013 --> 01:06:17,848
If you write
in a bagpipe part.

947
01:06:17,931 --> 01:06:20,224
Oh, God, I'll never
make that mistake again.

948
01:06:20,392 --> 01:06:23,436
What?
The eighth grade recital.

949
01:06:24,480 --> 01:06:26,940
You made me write in
a part for you.

950
01:06:29,234 --> 01:06:31,194
You wore your Kilt.

951
01:06:32,571 --> 01:06:35,073
Yeah, Steve showed up
with his friends.

952
01:06:35,699 --> 01:06:37,909
They gave me so much shit
for that.

953
01:06:38,243 --> 01:06:40,620
I didn't come out
of my room for days.

954
01:06:40,913 --> 01:06:44,124
You made it up to him by
stealing all my underwear

955
01:06:44,208 --> 01:06:46,585
so you could run them up
the flagpole.

956
01:06:47,544 --> 01:06:49,379
Including my training bras.

957
01:06:52,466 --> 01:06:55,093
Okay, since we're having some
big fucking Oprah moment here...

958
01:06:55,177 --> 01:06:57,220
I'm sorry
about your underwear.

959
01:06:57,346 --> 01:06:58,972
And the diary.

960
01:07:01,725 --> 01:07:03,727
And all that other shit, too.

961
01:07:44,059 --> 01:07:45,143
That's it.

962
01:07:45,727 --> 01:07:48,563
You started it. This is gonna
get me that scholarship.

963
01:07:48,647 --> 01:07:49,689
What?

964
01:07:49,773 --> 01:07:52,442
Oh, I've got to go write
this down before I forget.

965
01:07:54,111 --> 01:07:55,695
Hey, hey, hey!

966
01:07:56,154 --> 01:07:57,155
Uh...

967
01:07:57,406 --> 01:07:59,408
Could we do this again
tomorrow night?

968
01:07:59,491 --> 01:08:02,452
Yeah, sure.
I'll see you here at sunset.

969
01:08:02,578 --> 01:08:04,037
Hey. Um...

970
01:08:05,247 --> 01:08:07,707
Should I bring that
Picardo thing?

971
01:08:07,791 --> 01:08:10,043
Okay, I'll do a solo for you.

972
01:08:12,546 --> 01:08:13,672
Hey...

973
01:08:20,220 --> 01:08:21,930
What's up, Ernie? ERNIE: Hey.

974
01:08:40,949 --> 01:08:42,951
It was that
fugly nurse again.

975
01:08:58,050 --> 01:08:59,885
Oh, my God.

976
01:08:59,968 --> 01:09:01,302
Matt Stifler?

977
01:09:02,054 --> 01:09:06,554
Holy shit, look at you. Arianna,
what are you doing here?

978
01:09:06,850 --> 01:09:10,186
We practice our routine with the
band. What are you doing here?

979
01:09:10,312 --> 01:09:12,689
I had to come.
The school made me.

980
01:09:13,690 --> 01:09:17,110
Does anybody know about
this yet? Oh, they do now.

981
01:09:18,153 --> 01:09:21,281
Hey, come on, no pictures.
What're you, the papa-tit-zzy?

982
01:09:21,365 --> 01:09:23,116
Holy shit, this is
so hilarious. Smile.

983
01:09:23,200 --> 01:09:27,037
Ladies.
No time for fraternizing.

984
01:09:28,038 --> 01:09:32,167
Get the bags. Guess I'll
see you around, bandy.

985
01:09:32,334 --> 01:09:36,546
What a dork. I'm going
to email this to everybody.

986
01:09:58,902 --> 01:10:01,738
Girls, that was great.
Percussion, take five.

987
01:10:01,822 --> 01:10:03,573
Horns, we've got to work
on intonation.

988
01:10:03,657 --> 01:10:06,242
The final performance
is tomorrow, you guys.

989
01:10:07,077 --> 01:10:08,912
They're so lame.

990
01:10:09,913 --> 01:10:12,332
You play the triangle.
How cute.

991
01:10:13,166 --> 01:10:16,335
No, I don't.
Look, I told you...

992
01:10:17,003 --> 01:10:18,337
I had to... ARIANNA: I gotta go.

993
01:10:18,422 --> 01:10:21,758
I don't socialize with bandies.
I'm not a fucking bandy.

994
01:10:22,092 --> 01:10:25,762
I'm not. Look. I've just
been acting like a geek.

995
01:10:26,096 --> 01:10:29,015
I've been playing them so I
could get them on hidden video.

996
01:10:29,099 --> 01:10:32,685
I've been secretly videotaping
them doing all this crazy shit.

997
01:10:33,603 --> 01:10:36,606
Really?
Yeah, I could show you.

998
01:10:39,276 --> 01:10:41,611
Okay, come by after dinner.

999
01:10:42,112 --> 01:10:44,739
I'll leave my pompoms
in the window for you.

1000
01:11:18,064 --> 01:11:19,231
You're late.

1001
01:11:19,316 --> 01:11:21,359
Yeah, no shit.
Open the window.

1002
01:11:24,196 --> 01:11:26,114
Hold on. Be careful with it.

1003
01:11:35,332 --> 01:11:38,585
All right, one condition before I
show you the fruits of my labors.

1004
01:11:38,668 --> 01:11:39,877
What's that?

1005
01:11:40,086 --> 01:11:42,463
I want that picture
on that camera phone erased.

1006
01:11:54,684 --> 01:11:55,935
Nobody at school hears

1007
01:11:56,019 --> 01:11:57,812
about the triangle
or the beanie.

1008
01:11:57,896 --> 01:12:00,523
I don't want anybody to
think I'm a dorky-ass bandy

1009
01:12:00,607 --> 01:12:02,525
Fine. Like,
now can we get on with it?

1010
01:12:02,609 --> 01:12:05,612
As soon as you get rid of
that picture of me on your phone.

1011
01:12:20,460 --> 01:12:21,669
Are you going into town?

1012
01:12:21,753 --> 01:12:23,296
Not tonight. I'm too tired.

1013
01:12:23,380 --> 01:12:26,007
Besides,
they're much hotter here.

1014
01:12:26,091 --> 01:12:29,010
I know.
It's a great crop this year.

1015
01:12:43,817 --> 01:12:47,737
There. Done deal.
Now can we see the video?

1016
01:12:48,613 --> 01:12:49,989
Stiffmeister Productions

1017
01:12:50,073 --> 01:12:53,659
in association with its talented
new director, Matthew Stifler,

1018
01:12:53,743 --> 01:12:55,745
is happy to premier
the unedited,

1019
01:12:55,829 --> 01:13:00,291
unfiltered, and un-fucking-believable
Bandeez Gone Wild.

1020
01:13:01,626 --> 01:13:02,835
Oh, yeah.

1021
01:13:07,132 --> 01:13:10,677
Oh, my God.
That is unbelievable.

1022
01:13:33,575 --> 01:13:36,119
You're kidding
me, right? That's great.

1023
01:13:37,370 --> 01:13:38,746
Danielle likes Jimmy,

1024
01:13:38,830 --> 01:13:40,581
but she's like
a foot taller than him.

1025
01:13:40,665 --> 01:13:42,083
And wait till you hear this.

1026
01:13:42,208 --> 01:13:44,752
Sheree slept with that
big Oscar guy, the drummer.

1027
01:13:44,878 --> 01:13:46,379
Said he was amazing.

1028
01:13:46,922 --> 01:13:50,133
Well, I hooked up with Brandon
once. Some drummer. He has

1029
01:13:50,216 --> 01:13:52,134
no rhythm, and he can't
even bang very long.

1030
01:13:52,218 --> 01:13:54,011
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?

1031
01:13:54,095 --> 01:13:58,224
Yeah, he's a preemie. And I'm not
talking about the day he was born, either.

1032
01:13:59,976 --> 01:14:02,812
Can you get my back? I think
I got a little bit of sun today?

1033
01:14:02,896 --> 01:14:03,980
Sure.

1034
01:14:04,064 --> 01:14:06,900
Get this. He has one ball.

1035
01:14:07,442 --> 01:14:09,777
No way.
One ball.

1036
01:14:11,237 --> 01:14:14,406
Yeah, that's why he carries
that big stick around everywhere.

1037
01:14:14,491 --> 01:14:16,534
It's got his other ball
on top.

1038
01:14:20,830 --> 01:14:22,581
Shit, shit, oh, shit.

1039
01:14:25,877 --> 01:14:27,378
What is that thing?

1040
01:14:41,434 --> 01:14:42,768
Let's kill it.

1041
01:14:43,269 --> 01:14:44,270
Where'd he go?

1042
01:14:44,354 --> 01:14:45,355
There he is.

1043
01:14:45,438 --> 01:14:46,605
Look out.

1044
01:15:26,479 --> 01:15:28,397
This is going into the lake.

1045
01:15:29,441 --> 01:15:31,901
No one's gonna know
about your little video.

1046
01:15:31,985 --> 01:15:34,654
"Cause the shit
you got us doing on tape...

1047
01:15:39,659 --> 01:15:43,329
So we got a contest to win
tomorrow. And I don't want to see you.

1048
01:15:43,747 --> 01:15:45,123
Understand?

1049
01:15:51,004 --> 01:15:52,463
Did you help him?

1050
01:16:17,280 --> 01:16:18,906
With East
Great Falls in the lead,

1051
01:16:18,990 --> 01:16:21,784
Beechwood has to win
the Band Camp Playoffs.

1052
01:16:21,868 --> 01:16:25,246
Direct yourselves to the
marching field in one hour.

1053
01:16:25,538 --> 01:16:28,916
Now, Dr. Choi, Brandon
Vandecamp from Beechwood

1054
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:31,293
is our best musician by far

1055
01:16:31,377 --> 01:16:35,877
and his father, Landon, is
our best donor, also by far.

1056
01:16:37,467 --> 01:16:39,510
Robards needs
talented musicians

1057
01:16:39,594 --> 01:16:42,221
as much as
we need talented donors.

1058
01:16:49,020 --> 01:16:50,354
Ipecac.

1059
01:16:52,732 --> 01:16:55,985
So how's it going? Are
you having fun? It's okay.

1060
01:17:01,366 --> 01:17:03,659
How about some Ipecac,
Vande-cooch?

1061
01:17:06,579 --> 01:17:10,457
This herbal fucking extract will help
you Beechwood fief play in tune, huh?

1062
01:17:12,001 --> 01:17:13,043
Shit.

1063
01:17:20,510 --> 01:17:21,511
Hey!

1064
01:17:22,512 --> 01:17:24,931
I told you I don't want to
see you anymore, Stifler.

1065
01:17:25,014 --> 01:17:27,182
Someday,
you'll thank me, asshole.

1066
01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:33,022
Orange?

1067
01:17:33,815 --> 01:17:34,941
Again?

1068
01:17:35,233 --> 01:17:37,276
Damn.
That orange shit is janky.

1069
01:17:37,360 --> 01:17:39,278
I'm feeling grape, dawg.

1070
01:17:42,157 --> 01:17:44,117
I don't care
how many times they won.

1071
01:17:44,200 --> 01:17:46,118
They're not getting
the grape today.

1072
01:17:46,202 --> 01:17:48,579
That's what I'm talking about.

1073
01:17:50,248 --> 01:17:53,125
Your five-time
defending champion,

1074
01:17:53,751 --> 01:17:55,586
Beechwood Academy.

1075
01:18:27,577 --> 01:18:28,619
They're tight.

1076
01:18:28,703 --> 01:18:30,996
Yeah, they're
better than ever this year.

1077
01:18:31,080 --> 01:18:32,539
Okay, everybody.

1078
01:18:33,041 --> 01:18:35,251
It's no surprise
Beechwood is good.

1079
01:18:35,585 --> 01:18:39,130
But this year is different.
This year, we can beat them.

1080
01:18:40,089 --> 01:18:43,258
We've worked hard,
and we are good enough

1081
01:18:43,384 --> 01:18:45,928
and this is our time,
so let's win the cup.

1082
01:18:46,054 --> 01:18:48,222
Yeah!

1083
01:19:23,007 --> 01:19:24,717
Beechwood Academy.

1084
01:19:24,801 --> 01:19:28,346
Their music today was composed
by senior drum major,

1085
01:19:28,429 --> 01:19:30,389
Brandon Vandecamp.

1086
01:19:30,556 --> 01:19:32,683
Beat that. Hoo, ha.

1087
01:19:34,644 --> 01:19:38,189
East Great Falls, you
may enter the field for competition.

1088
01:19:55,498 --> 01:19:58,667
Band 10 hut.
One, two, ready. Shit.

1089
01:19:58,751 --> 01:20:00,335
Leesy, wait, no.

1090
01:20:00,420 --> 01:20:02,463
No. Wait.

1091
01:20:12,890 --> 01:20:15,100
You know, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.

1092
01:20:15,184 --> 01:20:17,352
Not my shoes. Here we go.

1093
01:20:22,191 --> 01:20:23,275
Stifler!

1094
01:20:40,960 --> 01:20:43,379
You know,
you're like your brother, Steve.

1095
01:20:43,463 --> 01:20:46,257
And I don't think those are the
shoes you should be so eager to fill.

1096
01:20:47,050 --> 01:20:50,136
You know, the people
Steve thought were his friends

1097
01:20:50,261 --> 01:20:52,888
really didn't like him
very much. What?

1098
01:20:52,972 --> 01:20:54,431
But I think you're different.

1099
01:20:54,515 --> 01:20:58,769
I think people want to like you,
Matt. You just make it really hard.

1100
01:21:09,947 --> 01:21:11,156
Hoo! Hal

1101
01:21:13,201 --> 01:21:17,079
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
When you're a loser.

1102
01:21:23,461 --> 01:21:27,715
Mr. Levenstein reports that
there were a few incidents

1103
01:21:27,799 --> 01:21:29,133
at camp.

1104
01:21:29,634 --> 01:21:32,136
But he also says that

1105
01:21:32,261 --> 01:21:35,973
you bonded
with the band briefly.

1106
01:21:40,061 --> 01:21:44,315
When school starts, you're
going to be on a very short leash.

1107
01:21:44,482 --> 01:21:48,277
Remember, the Shermanator
sees it all.

1108
01:21:49,987 --> 01:21:51,279
Be gone.

1109
01:21:56,160 --> 01:21:58,370
Did everybody hate my brother?

1110
01:22:09,757 --> 01:22:13,218
Stardate, August 21, 2005.

1111
01:22:13,678 --> 01:22:16,055
Some progress made
with Stiffy Junior.

1112
01:22:16,514 --> 01:22:18,933
Behavior modification evident.

1113
01:22:20,393 --> 01:22:22,186
Will continue to monitor.

1114
01:22:22,770 --> 01:22:25,022
Shermanator out.

1115
01:22:36,200 --> 01:22:38,619
A little "Double-D Sheree"
action.

1116
01:22:43,207 --> 01:22:45,083
Little bit of Dr. Robot.

1117
01:22:46,919 --> 01:22:48,253
Crazy fucker.

1118
01:23:56,697 --> 01:23:58,031
Hey, Stifler,
where's your instrument?

1119
01:23:58,115 --> 01:23:59,324
Dude,
you're in the wrong uniform.

1120
01:23:59,408 --> 01:24:02,285
Screw them, dude. They're gonna
freak out when they see the video.

1121
01:24:02,370 --> 01:24:04,538
Look, we thought that if we
had an advance screening,

1122
01:24:04,622 --> 01:24:06,707
then everyone would see
that you're not really a dork.

1123
01:24:06,791 --> 01:24:09,210
I can't. It's gone.

1124
01:24:10,253 --> 01:24:13,422
What?
The video, man, I deleted it.

1125
01:24:14,423 --> 01:24:15,465
Why?

1126
01:24:16,384 --> 01:24:19,053
Guess little bro's quitting
the family business.

1127
01:24:19,136 --> 01:24:20,637
Are you kidding me?

1128
01:24:24,141 --> 01:24:26,101
He went fucking
bandy on us.

1129
01:24:42,493 --> 01:24:43,994
Hey, what's up, guys?

1130
01:24:44,829 --> 01:24:46,789
You a dead man, motherfucker.

1131
01:24:47,582 --> 01:24:49,584
You, too, little man.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1132
01:24:49,917 --> 01:24:53,795
Dude, the purple puke was an
accident. Somebody switched the coolers.

1133
01:24:58,509 --> 01:25:00,677
Hey, that orange shit
is janky, yo.

1134
01:25:01,929 --> 01:25:06,391
Chloe, we never saw Elyse,
you know, naked.

1135
01:25:07,059 --> 01:25:09,019
Matt turned off the computer.

1136
01:25:09,895 --> 01:25:12,522
So we're just supposed
to forgive him now?

1137
01:25:13,399 --> 01:25:16,110
He's still an asshole.
You're right.

1138
01:25:17,111 --> 01:25:18,445
I am an asshole.

1139
01:25:18,863 --> 01:25:21,115
I can't take back
spying on you

1140
01:25:21,198 --> 01:25:23,575
and I can't win
that Bandy Cup thing.

1141
01:25:23,701 --> 01:25:26,578
But I can help someone
get what she deserves.

1142
01:25:27,413 --> 01:25:29,581
I'm not asking you
to forgive me.

1143
01:25:29,790 --> 01:25:32,375
Just help me help Elyse.

1144
01:25:43,304 --> 01:25:44,680
I got the number.

1145
01:25:44,764 --> 01:25:45,806
Go ahead.

1146
01:25:45,890 --> 01:25:49,476
555-0171.

1147
01:25:51,395 --> 01:25:54,147
He shouldn't have been
dumping Ipecac in anyone's cooler.

1148
01:25:54,231 --> 01:25:56,066
We could've won on our own.

1149
01:25:58,402 --> 01:26:02,572
I don't even care that he saw me
on camera. Well, I mean I do, but...

1150
01:26:03,824 --> 01:26:06,076
Honey, this just came for you.

1151
01:26:09,830 --> 01:26:11,289
It's from Robards.

1152
01:26:12,750 --> 01:26:14,042
What's it say?

1153
01:26:15,795 --> 01:26:18,380
Dr. Choi wants to meet
with me?

1154
01:26:36,232 --> 01:26:38,234
Okay. okay.

1155
01:26:38,442 --> 01:26:40,360
Okay. Okay.

1156
01:26:42,029 --> 01:26:43,113
Bye.

1157
01:26:59,338 --> 01:27:01,757
Hi. Elyse Houston.

1158
01:27:03,008 --> 01:27:05,802
I have an appointment
with Dr. Choi.

1159
01:27:06,846 --> 01:27:10,474
You're not in the book. Oh, no,
there must be some mistake. See...

1160
01:27:12,184 --> 01:27:13,560
I have a letter.

1161
01:27:19,150 --> 01:27:20,985
This letter is, well...

1162
01:27:21,736 --> 01:27:22,903
It's a fake.

1163
01:27:23,654 --> 01:27:26,615
This is not Dr. Choi's
signature. What?

1164
01:27:39,837 --> 01:27:40,963
Stifler.

1165
01:27:44,717 --> 01:27:47,010
You son of a bitch.

1166
01:27:48,679 --> 01:27:53,016
What? It wasn't enough for you
to humiliate me at Band Camp?

1167
01:27:53,142 --> 01:27:55,811
Now you have to
set me up here?

1168
01:28:16,332 --> 01:28:18,042
What's going on here?

1169
01:28:19,460 --> 01:28:20,919
This is my band.

1170
01:28:21,378 --> 01:28:23,254
And that's her music.

1171
01:29:21,605 --> 01:29:22,689
Well...

1172
01:29:23,274 --> 01:29:26,944
I've certainly seen some interesting
attempts to gain admission,

1173
01:29:27,611 --> 01:29:29,279
but this is a first.

1174
01:29:30,781 --> 01:29:35,035
Excellent audition, Miss Houston.
Let's go discuss that scholarship.

1175
01:29:35,619 --> 01:29:37,954
Um, I thought Brandon won.

1176
01:29:38,080 --> 01:29:41,374
No, Mr. Vandecamp was
disqualified for plagiarism.

1177
01:29:41,458 --> 01:29:42,709
All right.

1178
01:29:44,795 --> 01:29:46,880
That's what
I'm talking about, yo.

1179
01:29:51,051 --> 01:29:53,428
Oh, my God, you guys,
that was amazing.

1180
01:29:53,971 --> 01:29:58,058
Thank you so much.
Thank him. It was his idea.

1181
01:29:58,142 --> 01:29:59,143
Word.

1182
01:30:01,979 --> 01:30:05,607
You planned all this?
With some friends.

1183
01:30:08,819 --> 01:30:10,153
Come here.

1184
01:30:10,613 --> 01:30:12,114
Ow.

1185
01:30:13,240 --> 01:30:17,118
Oh, I believe this is yours.

1186
01:30:18,245 --> 01:30:19,412
You know...

1187
01:30:20,122 --> 01:30:24,167
Picardo is a brand of piccolo.

1188
01:30:25,127 --> 01:30:27,462
You really are an asshole
sometimes...

1189
01:30:27,838 --> 01:30:28,922
Stiffy.

1190
01:33:49,873 --> 01:33:52,041
Man, change the channel, yo.

1191
01:33:52,334 --> 01:33:55,086
Hook a brother up
with some mad beats.

1192
01:33:55,170 --> 01:33:56,838
Will you cut that out?

1193
01:33:57,339 --> 01:33:59,507
Your name is
James Hi Ping Chong.

1194
01:33:59,633 --> 01:34:01,259
Your dad owns
a Chinese restaurant.

1195
01:34:01,343 --> 01:34:04,054
You live in the suburbs. You
ain't never gonna be a gangsta.

1196
01:34:04,680 --> 01:34:05,722
Damn!

1197
01:34:08,392 --> 01:34:09,684
That's cold, dawg.