1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,794
-[crickets chirping]
-[dog barking]
2
00:00:03,294 --> 00:00:04,504
[door opens]
3
00:00:05,755 --> 00:00:08,216
[Moira] John! Are you awake?
4
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:10,301
-John!
-What? What's happening?
5
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:13,138
Your wayfaring thespian has returned!
6
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:18,643
I-I don't wanna jinx anything,
but the shoot was a triumph.
7
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:21,271
The local Bosnians are calling it
a stunning reinvigoration
8
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:23,690
of the Crows Have Eyes franchise.
9
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:25,400
That, of course, is a loose translation.
10
00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:27,986
Oh, well, that sounds great, sweetheart.
11
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:30,572
John, no need to get out of bed, dear.
12
00:00:30,655 --> 00:00:32,657
I'm sure you considered planning
13
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,118
a little more fanfare
for my return, but...
14
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:37,537
Oh, it's best to ease back in.
15
00:00:37,620 --> 00:00:41,875
It's 3:30 in the morning.
You said you were coming in today at noon.
16
00:00:42,167 --> 00:00:45,003
Yes! Noon Bosnian Mountain Time, that is!
17
00:00:45,086 --> 00:00:47,297
Which was several hours ago, John.
18
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:49,674
Oh, and what a journey it has been!
19
00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,802
Production had me routed through Nairobi
for some reason,
20
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:56,681
and then our plane was grounded
after flying through a swarm of locusts.
21
00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:58,725
I didn't want to miss my third connection,
22
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:01,519
so I took a Bosnian upper
just to keep awake.
23
00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:04,397
Those things are the size of a nickel,
so I only took one.
24
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:06,066
At least, I think I did.
25
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,984
I may have taken a second one
just to be safe,
26
00:01:08,068 --> 00:01:10,528
because I don't know
if I took that first one or not.
27
00:01:11,112 --> 00:01:14,074
Either way, I've been up
since 8:00 a.m. three days ago,
28
00:01:14,157 --> 00:01:17,202
with time changes factored in,
and I couldn't be happier to see you!
29
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:18,328
Oh!
30
00:01:18,411 --> 00:01:21,831
Well, Moira, it sounds like
a nightmare of a trip.
31
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:24,125
Why don't we leave the unpacking
till tomorrow,
32
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,835
and just get some rest?
33
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,545
Good idea.
34
00:01:28,671 --> 00:01:30,882
-Kids!
-No, Moira, it's 3:30.
35
00:01:30,965 --> 00:01:32,592
David! Alexis!
36
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:35,762
-Oh! Who is it?
-Oh, my God, what?!
37
00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:38,723
I don't know what you kids
are still doing up so late.
38
00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:40,725
I didn't want to disturb you,
39
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:44,020
I just wanted you to know that
Mummy got home safe and sound!
40
00:01:44,103 --> 00:01:45,104
-Okay, good night.
-Great.
41
00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:47,106
Okay, if you insist, one quick story.
42
00:01:47,190 --> 00:01:52,237
So, day three of shooting, Hamza and I
find ourselves stuck in a hailstorm--
43
00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:53,863
Oh, my God, not tonight.
Thank you, though.
44
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:56,491
I'm sorry, kids, your mother's had
a rough couple of days.
45
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,035
Moira, why don't we get to bed,
sweetheart?
46
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,703
Ooh, frisky, John.
47
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:02,497
-Oh! Bye!
-Ewww!
48
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:05,125
-Eww.
-Ugh!
49
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:14,467
[Moira] No! No one would believe this!
50
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:17,011
These cannot be real!
51
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:18,680
What's going on?
52
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:23,685
{\an8}Well, instead of sleeping last night,
I decided to power right through.
53
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,728
{\an8}You know, best to round up
to an even four days.
54
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:28,314
{\an8}And while I was doing
some light reorganization,
55
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:31,526
{\an8}I came upon this stack of love letters
56
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:34,028
{\an8}written to your father by another woman.
57
00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:38,366
{\an8}-Okay.
-Best not to be concerned, Alexis.
58
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:40,869
{\an8}I'm sure there's a logical
explanation for all of this.
59
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,204
{\an8}-I'm sure there is.
-Yes.
60
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:45,665
{\an8}Some of them! Some of them are even funny!
61
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,710
{\an8}Listen. Where's that one? Oh! Read this.
62
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:51,129
{\an8}[cackles wildly]
63
00:02:52,130 --> 00:02:53,381
{\an8}[clears throat]
64
00:02:54,173 --> 00:02:58,511
{\an8}"Dearest John-John,
I'm lying here, stuck, sweaty.
65
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:02,265
{\an8}All I can think about is you,
and the last night we spent together,
66
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:03,766
{\an8}bed shaking..." Ew!
67
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,184
{\an8}Why are you making me read this?
68
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,603
{\an8}-I know, right?
-Eww!
69
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:10,064
{\an8}Before your father met me,
he was not quite so selective.
70
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,357
{\an8}I hesitate to add,
71
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,985
{\an8}he even had a predilection
for boom-boom girls!
72
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:18,281
{\an8}Okay, I would like to remind you
that I don't have a therapist anymore.
73
00:03:18,364 --> 00:03:19,949
{\an8}No, as you said,
74
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:22,285
{\an8}there's a logical explanation
for all of this.
75
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:25,246
{\an8}No, you've said that, like,
three times now.
76
00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:26,748
{\an8}So I think it's probably for the best
77
00:03:26,831 --> 00:03:28,958
{\an8}that we put these down,
and we go have a nap, okay?
78
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,753
{\an8}-Yes. You're right.
-Mm-hm.
79
00:03:31,836 --> 00:03:33,546
{\an8}You're right, Alexis,
you're always so right.
80
00:03:34,797 --> 00:03:36,132
{\an8}[sighs]
81
00:03:36,382 --> 00:03:37,467
{\an8}Okay.
82
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,177
{\an8}All right.
83
00:03:41,304 --> 00:03:42,555
{\an8}[sighs]
84
00:03:44,098 --> 00:03:47,852
{\an8}Just a few more, just to lull me to sleep.
That's all.
85
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:49,604
{\an8}[car engine starts]
86
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,148
{\an8}[light jazz music plays]
87
00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:53,358
{\an8}[bell on door jingles]
88
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:59,864
{\an8}Good morning.
Is there something I can help you with?
89
00:03:59,948 --> 00:04:01,574
{\an8}Yeah, I'd like you to open
your cash register
90
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,700
{\an8}and give me your money!
91
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:08,206
{\an8}Okay, small problem.
Um, our money isn't for sale.
92
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:11,542
{\an8}-I'm robbing you!
-Thought so, yeah. Um...
93
00:04:11,626 --> 00:04:13,336
{\an8}I'm gonna ask you one more time.
94
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,214
Hey! Hey! Where do you think
you're going?!
95
00:04:17,423 --> 00:04:18,424
Here.
96
00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:20,385
[David] So here's the problem.
97
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,553
Our till doesn't currently
have any cash in it,
98
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:25,265
because my partner is at the bank
getting money for the float.
99
00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:27,225
What about you, what do you have?
100
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:28,893
A wallet full of debt.
101
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,105
Can someone put something
in a bag, please?!
102
00:04:32,188 --> 00:04:34,524
Um, we only have cloth totes.
I hope that's okay.
103
00:04:34,607 --> 00:04:36,609
-Whatever!
-Would you like some wine?
104
00:04:36,818 --> 00:04:38,987
Okay, yeah, yes, put some booze in a bag.
105
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,030
Do you drink red wine or white wine?
106
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,741
-Maybe some chilled rosé in the back?
-I'll get it!
107
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,910
[man] I'm not letting you go
into the back!
108
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:46,995
What else?
109
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:50,081
Cheese goes good with wine.
110
00:04:50,164 --> 00:04:51,833
Suddenly she's a sales associate.
111
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:53,209
Would you like some cheese?
112
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,211
Uh, yeah, I'll take some cheese.
113
00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:56,796
God forbid he be specific.
114
00:04:56,879 --> 00:05:00,049
I guess throw in some brie,
some aged cheddar.
115
00:05:00,133 --> 00:05:02,135
Uh, that tapenade goes good with the brie.
116
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,386
Tapenade's great, yeah, yeah, yeah.
117
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:06,681
-Do you have bad skin?
-Yeah, sure, just hurry it up!
118
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,810
There you go.
119
00:05:15,940 --> 00:05:18,276
Could you help the man with the door?
His hands are full.
120
00:05:18,609 --> 00:05:19,902
Sorry. Thank you.
121
00:05:20,236 --> 00:05:21,779
Okay, thank you.
122
00:05:22,780 --> 00:05:23,823
[door shuts]
123
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:27,327
Why do I feel like we did something wrong?
124
00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:29,537
-[birds chirping]
-[dog barking]
125
00:05:32,248 --> 00:05:34,876
Look at you all dressed up,
Mr. Sporty Spice.
126
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:38,421
Uh, yeah, I'm dressed for the run
that we're supposed to be going on,
127
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,049
but I don't think you can run in those.
128
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,843
Tell that to me at 21,
escaping the Yakuza.
129
00:05:44,343 --> 00:05:45,803
So that's a no on the run, then?
130
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:48,514
Okay, honestly, Ted,
I've had a very traumatic morning at home,
131
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,726
so going on a run is, like,
the last thing that I wanna do.
132
00:05:51,809 --> 00:05:53,019
Also, I forgot.
133
00:05:53,102 --> 00:05:54,937
Okay, well, that's actually, like, scary,
134
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,357
because we texted about it
twice last night and twice this morning.
135
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:01,152
But anyway, is everything okay?
136
00:06:01,235 --> 00:06:03,696
Like, other than reading
some very porny love letters
137
00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:05,281
that someone sent my dad, sure.
138
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:07,575
Like, who holds on to things like that?
139
00:06:07,658 --> 00:06:09,452
I've held on to some things.
140
00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,287
Oh, my God, should I be worried?
141
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,457
Well, I-I did keep this waterproof watch
that Heather gave me.
142
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:17,335
Okay, I asked if I should be worried.
143
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,670
I don't know,
I think it's kind of romantic
144
00:06:19,754 --> 00:06:21,589
to hang on to things
from old relationships.
145
00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:24,092
I've certainly kept some things
from our past.
146
00:06:25,885 --> 00:06:27,428
Ted!
147
00:06:27,512 --> 00:06:28,805
I take it that you haven't?
148
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:32,558
Um, harsh. I for sure have.
149
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:36,270
Yeah, it's just that your face is doing
some pretty weird stuff right now.
150
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,689
No-- Because you put me on the spot!
151
00:06:38,773 --> 00:06:41,359
There's, like, a very long list
of things that I've kept.
152
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,527
Oh, really?
153
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,362
Like what?
154
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:48,407
Like... that empty book that you gave me.
155
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:52,161
-The journal?
-Yes! The journal.
156
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:56,624
And very likely some jewelry.
157
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,461
Like a ring, or...
158
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,381
-A locket?
-Yes.
159
00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,843
The locket you gave me.
I kept that the most.
160
00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,387
Oh, yeah, it's just funny,
I don't think I've ever seen you wear it.
161
00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:11,556
I'm just so scared of losing it.
162
00:07:12,390 --> 00:07:13,724
That makes sense.
163
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,477
Okay, well, you have a run to go on,
164
00:07:16,561 --> 00:07:19,897
so I should probably go
and update my journal.
165
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,357
You've never written
in a journal, have you?
166
00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:25,069
No, but, um, one time I did do
a book report on David's diary,
167
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,113
and it was very dark. Okay?
168
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:29,699
[door closes]
169
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:31,367
[door closes]
170
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,288
Jocelyn!
171
00:07:35,872 --> 00:07:37,999
Moira, you're back.
172
00:07:38,082 --> 00:07:39,792
Did you just let yourself in?
173
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:44,005
I have been knocking on your door
since the beginning of time!
174
00:07:44,088 --> 00:07:45,339
Although now that I'm standing here,
175
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,425
it's equally possible
I didn't knock at all.
176
00:07:47,508 --> 00:07:49,051
I suppose we'll never know, will we?
177
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,636
Ah! Sorry.
178
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,931
-I just need to catch my breath.
-Oh, as do I.
179
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:58,436
I don't know if you know what it's like
to be mortally deprived of one's sleep!
180
00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,396
I haven't slept in eight months.
181
00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,815
-Why's that?
-Because of the baby.
182
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:05,985
I've had a bit of a rebirth myself
in Bosnia.
183
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:07,862
I hope it wasn't as painful as mine.
184
00:08:07,945 --> 00:08:09,280
The music, Jocelyn.
185
00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:12,575
In Bosni-wood, as the industry
will soon be calling it,
186
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:17,121
I... I picked up some beautiful Sevdah
187
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,541
that I absolutely must teach
to the Jazzigals!
188
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:24,629
Would you like to hear me sing
a traditional love song?
189
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:27,340
I-I would. It's just
the baby's sleeping, so--
190
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:29,425
Shh.
191
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:33,095
[singing in Bosnian]
192
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,519
[sings mournful tune]
193
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:50,863
Yeah... it's a sad one.
194
00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:57,078
I would be feeling it too, if I knew...
what the heck you were singing about.
195
00:08:58,037 --> 00:08:59,330
[laughs]
196
00:08:59,872 --> 00:09:01,332
Oh...
197
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,751
What are these?
198
00:09:03,834 --> 00:09:07,171
Oh, just some old love letters,
199
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:11,717
written by another woman,
onto which John has been clutching.
200
00:09:11,801 --> 00:09:14,762
Wow, I have been down this road.
201
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:19,642
I once found a bag
of Roland's ex-girlfriends' bras.
202
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,103
Burned them.
203
00:09:22,478 --> 00:09:24,438
Except for the ones that were my size.
204
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:26,566
But this is incomparable, Jocelyn,
205
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:30,778
because there's a perfectly logical
explanation for this!
206
00:09:30,861 --> 00:09:32,238
Oh, there always is.
207
00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:35,575
Whoo! Wow.
208
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:38,953
[laughs] This little "butterfly"
is quite the writer.
209
00:09:39,537 --> 00:09:42,456
It's like 50 Shades of Johnny Rose!
210
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:43,791
Holy cow.
211
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:51,549
You know, I've never been robbed before,
and I had friends that lived in Brooklyn.
212
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,677
Yeah... that was a robbery, right?
213
00:09:55,052 --> 00:09:58,264
I mean, we were robbed. Right?
214
00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:01,267
Yeah! Someone walked out of here
with two bags of product.
215
00:10:01,350 --> 00:10:02,935
I mean, I don't know
what else you'd call it.
216
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,814
I mean, he had a weapon, right?
217
00:10:06,897 --> 00:10:08,649
Yeah! Yes.
218
00:10:08,983 --> 00:10:10,901
I mean, it must've been in his pocket,
219
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,696
because he used both hands
to carry the bags out of the store, but...
220
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,453
I can't believe
you just offered him the wine.
221
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:21,829
You offered him the skin care!
222
00:10:21,912 --> 00:10:23,456
We don't know what was going on
under that mask!
223
00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:25,041
He could've had perfect skin.
224
00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:28,002
I can't believe this happened.
I was gone for, like, 45 minutes.
225
00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:30,671
Are you guys sure you're okay?
226
00:10:31,505 --> 00:10:33,090
Surprisingly, yes.
227
00:10:33,174 --> 00:10:34,383
-Yeah, I'm not.
-Thanks.
228
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:35,968
I'm very startled.
229
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:37,678
It just doesn't make any sense.
230
00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:42,475
I mean, I can understand taking the wine,
but who steals a jar of tapenade?
231
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,978
-And the brie?!
-Yeah, the brie.
232
00:10:46,062 --> 00:10:47,480
Stevie? The brie?
233
00:10:48,272 --> 00:10:51,859
Well, at least we know
if the cops don't get him,
234
00:10:51,942 --> 00:10:53,611
his cholesterol will.
235
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:55,446
Well, there's no need to keep
talking about it now.
236
00:10:55,529 --> 00:10:57,281
You guys are gonna have to
go through this all again
237
00:10:57,365 --> 00:10:58,908
in much more detail
when the police get here.
238
00:11:00,993 --> 00:11:01,994
Yeah, I, um,
239
00:11:02,870 --> 00:11:06,874
I don't know if going to the police is...
is necessary at this point.
240
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:09,585
If we want any insurance money
for the things that were stolen,
241
00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:11,420
you have to explain everything
to the police.
242
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,714
-Right.
-I was pretty much in the back
243
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,341
while all of this was going down, so...
244
00:11:15,424 --> 00:11:18,594
Mm, I remember you being
pretty involved, actually.
245
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:21,639
Yeah, well, between the two of you,
I'm pretty sure you can piece it together.
246
00:11:21,722 --> 00:11:25,935
Yeah. Right? So...
247
00:11:31,607 --> 00:11:34,819
Hey, Twy?
I've always admired your jewelry game.
248
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:38,197
You just, like, pick a few pieces
and just wear them to death.
249
00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:41,325
Oh, if you're talking about my earrings,
the clasp broke,
250
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:44,245
so I actually physically
cannot take them off.
251
00:11:44,328 --> 00:11:46,664
Okay, I am experiencing the same problem.
252
00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,874
All of my jewelry is boring.
253
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,751
Is that what I said?
254
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,504
So way back when,
all of my girlfriends and I
255
00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:55,798
used to throw the diamonds
we got from our parents on a table
256
00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:57,883
and just do, like, a big jewelry swap.
257
00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,343
[sighs]
258
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:02,012
I wish I had someone
in this town to swap with.
259
00:12:02,096 --> 00:12:03,764
Yeah, I used to think that
a lot growing up
260
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:05,641
when I'd see other kids
with their families.
261
00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:08,686
Okay, you just gave me a great idea!
262
00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:11,564
Why don't we do a jewelry swap?
263
00:12:12,273 --> 00:12:15,818
Well, I do have a large collection
of my grandfather's hospital bracelets.
264
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:20,531
Yum! Um, but I also love
that cute little locket around your neck.
265
00:12:20,739 --> 00:12:23,409
Well, that makes sense,
because you gave it to me for Christmas,
266
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,910
and I wear it every day.
267
00:12:25,244 --> 00:12:28,497
Yeah, and I always think, like,
what would I look like in it?
268
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,375
S-So, do you want the locket?
269
00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,044
No, Twy, I got it for you.
270
00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:36,714
But what I'm saying is, let's swap for it.
271
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:39,675
I have a toe ring
that would look so cute on you!
272
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:43,637
We're not allowed to wear
open-toed shoes, but, um...
273
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,016
maybe I could... take that bracelet?
274
00:12:48,809 --> 00:12:52,271
Yes! Um, I actually got this
in a swap with Sienna Miller.
275
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:56,692
And by that I mean it fell off her wrist
at a Halloween party, and I kept it.
276
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,611
Well, maybe I could come over
on my lunch break
277
00:12:58,694 --> 00:12:59,945
and we can swap some more stuff!
278
00:13:00,779 --> 00:13:02,948
-Yes, Twy!
-[laughs]
279
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:06,368
I mean, I actually thought this would be,
like, a one-for-one situation,
280
00:13:06,452 --> 00:13:07,703
but if you want to open it up...
281
00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:10,164
-Let me help you with that.
-Oh, that's okay, I got it.
282
00:13:10,247 --> 00:13:12,374
No, the necklace.
283
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,001
Oh, right now?
284
00:13:14,752 --> 00:13:15,753
Okay...
285
00:13:19,256 --> 00:13:21,425
[door opens, shuts]
286
00:13:24,970 --> 00:13:27,264
-What are you doing?
-Uh...
287
00:13:27,348 --> 00:13:28,933
word on the street is that
288
00:13:29,016 --> 00:13:31,602
you're in a little hot water
with Moira, huh?
289
00:13:31,685 --> 00:13:36,190
No, everything's fine with Moira.
I just thought she was coming in today.
290
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:39,818
Look, Johnny, everybody likes
to take trips down memory lane,
291
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,154
but you gotta get rid of the evidence.
292
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:44,907
Do you know what
a burnt underwire smells like?
293
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:48,536
Okay, Roland, I actually don't know
what you're talking about.
294
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:52,831
Those spicy letters from Miss Butterfly
that you left out for Moira to find.
295
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,959
How do you know about those letters?
296
00:13:55,042 --> 00:13:57,294
Well, Moira's out showing 'em around town.
297
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:59,004
Jocelyn's read 'em.
298
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:02,633
She told me about some very racy parts,
young man.
299
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,718
Moira is showing my letters?
300
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:08,138
-Yeah, I was talking to Bob about it.
-Why were you talking to Bob about it?
301
00:14:08,222 --> 00:14:10,266
We're trying to save your marriage, bud!
302
00:14:10,766 --> 00:14:13,102
Although, Gwen thinks
it's probably a lost cause.
303
00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:15,187
She thinks you might be a sexaholic.
304
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:18,148
Okay, first of all,
everyone should mind their own business
305
00:14:18,232 --> 00:14:19,608
and stay out of my affairs.
306
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,027
Affairs, plural? Oh.
307
00:14:22,111 --> 00:14:23,362
There's no affair, okay?
308
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:26,031
Now, would you unlock the door
and open the blind?
309
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,742
Jeez, Johnny, I'm on your side, pal.
310
00:14:29,159 --> 00:14:30,870
Unless things get messy.
311
00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:33,080
In that case, I'm gonna be
on Moira's side. [clucks tongue]
312
00:14:35,958 --> 00:14:40,129
So I guess it was sort of like a...
a low-end poly-blend hooded sweatshirt
313
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:43,007
in what I could only describe
as an aubergine color.
314
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,176
And just in case he changes his outfit,
315
00:14:46,260 --> 00:14:48,929
do you have a rough idea
of his physical description?
316
00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:51,265
Right, um...
317
00:14:51,348 --> 00:14:53,350
Well, I guess, my build.
318
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:56,312
-That's being generous.
-If I was at my goal weight.
319
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,480
Officer, they mentioned
there was a weapon involved.
320
00:14:59,148 --> 00:15:01,525
-Can you describe the weapon?
-You describe it.
321
00:15:02,359 --> 00:15:05,571
Well, if there was a weapon,
it was concealed.
322
00:15:05,654 --> 00:15:07,489
Yeah, so, you know, it's--
323
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,658
It's sort of hard to describe
a concealed weapon.
324
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:13,662
Yeah, I mean, if we could tell you
what it looked like,
325
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,873
he wouldn't be doing a good job
of concealing it.
326
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:17,416
[laughs nervously] Yeah!
327
00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:18,667
So let me get this straight.
328
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,502
You have no idea what it looks like,
329
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,963
or whether there was one
in the first place.
330
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:24,381
You guys said you were held up!
331
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,258
Emotionally!
332
00:15:26,342 --> 00:15:28,177
I mean, I don't know if there was a gun,
333
00:15:28,260 --> 00:15:30,304
but it was still a robbery,
he was wearing a mask.
334
00:15:30,387 --> 00:15:33,349
And would we not all agree
that words are weapons?!
335
00:15:33,807 --> 00:15:36,560
Okay, so you offered the wine,
336
00:15:36,852 --> 00:15:38,437
and you offered the cheese
and the tapenade,
337
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,189
and there was no gun?
338
00:15:40,689 --> 00:15:42,399
This guy just sounds like
a lucky customer, David!
339
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:45,110
-You know what? I am just gonna...
-[pen scratches]
340
00:15:45,194 --> 00:15:46,236
...file this report,
341
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,573
and you can follow up
if you have any more information.
342
00:15:50,991 --> 00:15:52,201
Yes.
343
00:15:54,119 --> 00:15:55,329
[Patrick sighs]
344
00:15:55,412 --> 00:15:56,872
-[door shuts]
-[David clears throat]
345
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,458
So you upsold the robber.
346
00:16:00,125 --> 00:16:02,378
I did not! I didn't even tell him
347
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,755
about the vintage wines
we have in the back.
348
00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,423
-Oh.
-[Stevie] Speaking of...
349
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:09,385
I think we should probably open
one of those bottles,
350
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,261
just to calm the nerves.
351
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,347
-Yeah.
-I thought you had to go to work.
352
00:16:16,016 --> 00:16:17,893
Great. Great stuff, you guys.
353
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,896
[voices on TV]
354
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,356
[laughs]
355
00:16:22,439 --> 00:16:24,024
-Can I have some more popcorn?
-Oh, sure.
356
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:25,109
Oh, don't worry, I'll get it.
357
00:16:28,570 --> 00:16:30,572
I, uh, see you're wearing the locket.
358
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:33,450
Oh! I don't know. Am I?
359
00:16:33,534 --> 00:16:34,785
Oh, right.
360
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:38,205
Well, you proved me wrong, Alexis.
361
00:16:38,288 --> 00:16:39,707
And I have to say, I'm kind of relieved,
362
00:16:39,790 --> 00:16:42,584
because that means that you also kept
my favorite photo of the two of us.
363
00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:45,963
I keep that photo in a locked folder
on my phone.
364
00:16:46,046 --> 00:16:47,840
No, no, I'm talking about
the one in the locket.
365
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,219
Hmm!
366
00:16:53,303 --> 00:16:57,433
Now, this appears to be a photo of Twyla.
367
00:16:58,392 --> 00:17:00,644
Yes... I put that there.
368
00:17:01,603 --> 00:17:03,772
Because Twyla is an important friend.
369
00:17:04,565 --> 00:17:05,566
And Twyla's mom?
370
00:17:06,692 --> 00:17:08,027
Is her important friend.
371
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:09,653
You gave the locket to Twyla, didn't you?
372
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:10,988
Okay, I would've kept it.
373
00:17:11,530 --> 00:17:14,366
But the necklace just kept reminding me
of all the bad things that I'd done,
374
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,994
and then Twyla gave me a Christmas gift,
and I didn't have anything to give her--
375
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:21,206
Okay, Alexis, I think we should just agree
to stop feeling bad about our past,
376
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,167
and just focus on the future.
377
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:25,294
Yes, Ted.
378
00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:28,213
And, in that spirit,
I should probably tell you
379
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:31,425
that I didn't actually keep
everything that you gave me.
380
00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:32,634
That's fine.
381
00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:34,595
Yeah, after the breakup, I, uh...
382
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,306
well, I took some of your stuff
to the incinerator,
383
00:17:37,389 --> 00:17:39,266
along with some pets
that needed to be cremated.
384
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,560
-Ew.
-And you think you feel bad?
385
00:17:41,643 --> 00:17:43,187
The wallet that you gave me
was still in there,
386
00:17:43,270 --> 00:17:44,980
and I had forgotten to take
some of the cards out,
387
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:48,275
and I was actually only one stamp away
from a free sub, so...
388
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:51,695
Okay, well,
if it makes you feel any better,
389
00:17:51,779 --> 00:17:53,280
that was David's wallet.
390
00:17:53,363 --> 00:17:54,823
[Ted laughs]
391
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,911
[door opens]
392
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:01,371
Well, well, "John-John" returns.
393
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:04,875
Okay, Moira, don't tell me
you still haven't slept.
394
00:18:04,958 --> 00:18:06,543
What would give you that impression?
395
00:18:06,627 --> 00:18:10,047
Sweetheart, you've got to find a way
of getting some sleep!
396
00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:12,132
Easier said than done, John,
397
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:16,053
when your only husband is longing
for his epistle-writing inamorata.
398
00:18:16,553 --> 00:18:19,556
You know what, if you had taken a nap
and cleared your head
399
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,435
instead of running around town
showcasing our personal business--
400
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,562
When we were herded from our home
401
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:29,066
and forced to grab
what few precious items we could,
402
00:18:29,149 --> 00:18:31,151
you chose to grab those letters!
403
00:18:31,485 --> 00:18:33,570
-That's right.
-Who is this woman?!
404
00:18:35,155 --> 00:18:36,782
Oh... okay.
405
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:42,704
If you must know,
she's someone who's very important to me.
406
00:18:43,747 --> 00:18:44,957
Oh?
407
00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,459
Moira, you wrote those letters!
408
00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,337
Don't be absurd! That is not my writing!
409
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:54,299
It was that week on Sunrise Bay
when Vivian Blake had her accident.
410
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:57,094
You were in a body cast.
They wouldn't let you take it off.
411
00:18:57,177 --> 00:18:59,346
You were writing with your left hand!
412
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:01,598
The spelunking incident.
413
00:19:01,932 --> 00:19:03,308
No.
414
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:07,187
It was after she got thrown upwards
through a skylight.
415
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:09,064
-Ah.
-Look.
416
00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:13,193
"I'm lying here in bed,
I can't move, I miss you."
417
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:14,653
It's all there, Moira.
418
00:19:14,736 --> 00:19:16,864
You're telling me
none of this rings a bell?
419
00:19:17,739 --> 00:19:21,243
In my defense, John,
I had asked for actual painkillers
420
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,829
to help ease me
into my character's plight.
421
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,166
But why are you reading them now?
422
00:19:27,249 --> 00:19:28,625
[sighs]
423
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,713
I was missing you,
424
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:34,464
so I took out the letters,
425
00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:38,719
because reading them made me feel like
you were still here with me.
426
00:19:39,052 --> 00:19:40,846
Oh, you're too sweet.
427
00:19:43,390 --> 00:19:46,810
Unfortunately, we're going to have to
stick with my version of the events.
428
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:48,854
What? Why would we do that?
429
00:19:48,937 --> 00:19:51,273
I don't want anyone thinking
I wrote these!
430
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:52,983
Well, I don't want people thinking
431
00:19:53,066 --> 00:19:55,110
I'm reading
some other woman's love letters!
432
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:56,695
Well, it'll give you an edge.
433
00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:59,281
No one will ever accuse you
of being vanilla again.
434
00:20:02,701 --> 00:20:03,869
Who's saying that?
435
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:12,044
Now, kids, I understand you both have read
a somewhat adult-themed correspondence
436
00:20:12,127 --> 00:20:14,421
between a loving wife and her husband?
437
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:17,257
Yeah, and I'd prefer
if you could stop talking about it.
438
00:20:17,341 --> 00:20:19,593
This is why I think
it's best to torch everything
439
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:21,470
from past failed relationships.
440
00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:24,389
I'd hardly call this
a failed relationship, David.
441
00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,934
We're still here, 35 years later.
442
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:29,436
Okay, here we go.
443
00:20:30,103 --> 00:20:33,815
I know you asked for a small,
but I "swapped it" for a large.
444
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:38,028
Twyla, may I say,
you are looking very chic.
445
00:20:38,111 --> 00:20:39,655
[Johnny] Would you look at that?
446
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:42,741
That looks like the tiara
you wore at your bat mitzvah, Alexis.
447
00:20:42,824 --> 00:20:45,494
Well, I had a little help from a friend.
448
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:48,497
We should probably coordinate a time
to swap everything back.
449
00:20:48,580 --> 00:20:49,957
Oh, don't worry, I'm fine.
450
00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:51,291
[giggles]
451
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,878
And what exactly did you get
out of this fun swap?
452
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:58,465
I got Twyla's step-brother's dog tags.
453
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,051
-And a whistle.
-[Moira] Caw!
454
00:21:01,134 --> 00:21:03,011
Oh! [speaking Bosnian]
455
00:21:04,304 --> 00:21:05,347
Is she okay?
456
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,599
Yeah, she's just sleeping.
457
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,269
Well, I'm ready to order.
458
00:21:11,478 --> 00:21:14,273
Okay, can somebody close her eyelids,
at least? Please?
459
00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:16,942
[snoring]