1 00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,180 [snoring] 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:09,370 Marlon. 3 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,150 Marlon. 4 00:00:11,183 --> 00:00:13,833 - Marlon! - Hmm. 5 00:00:13,116 --> 00:00:14,326 - 'Get up.' - Hmm-mm! 6 00:00:14,366 --> 00:00:17,096 Get up, you got to go to work. Pop is gonna kill you, man. 7 00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,266 [fire alarm ringing] 8 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,300 Marlon! Marlon! 9 00:00:25,333 --> 00:00:27,183 - Fire, Marlon, fire! - Fire? 10 00:00:31,250 --> 00:00:33,660 Put on your jacket. 11 00:00:33,100 --> 00:00:35,100 - I got to feed my goldfish. - Alright, hurry up! 12 00:00:35,133 --> 00:00:37,003 - Stop, drop and roll! - Come on, hurry up. 13 00:00:39,233 --> 00:00:41,103 Hurry up! Hurry up! 14 00:00:42,316 --> 00:00:45,246 Don't worry about me! Save yourself! 15 00:00:47,330 --> 00:00:49,160 [alarm stops] 16 00:00:51,250 --> 00:00:53,660 Every mornin'. 17 00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,120 You'd think he'd catch on by now. 18 00:00:55,150 --> 00:00:57,130 [theme song] 19 00:00:58,216 --> 00:01:00,826 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 20 00:01:00,116 --> 00:01:03,496 ♪ We're happy and we're singing and we're colored ♪ 21 00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:07,830 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 22 00:01:07,116 --> 00:01:08,226 (male 'Alright, cut and print.' 23 00:01:08,266 --> 00:01:11,656 'Beautiful, guys. Dynamite. That is..' 24 00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:13,350 ♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪ 25 00:01:13,383 --> 00:01:16,173 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 26 00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,320 ♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪ 27 00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:21,500 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 28 00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:23,280 ♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪ 29 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,376 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 30 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:28,280 ♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪ 31 00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:30,376 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 32 00:01:33,266 --> 00:01:35,826 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪♪ 33 00:01:37,100 --> 00:01:39,200 [instrumental music] 34 00:01:45,266 --> 00:01:48,176 Yeah, suck it, suck it now. Get it! 35 00:01:50,166 --> 00:01:51,366 Hey, don't stop, y'all keep goin'. 36 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,380 Hey, Shawn, show her that little move I taught you, you know? 37 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,180 Bam, bam, bam. 38 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:02,330 Marlon, get a girlfriend. 39 00:02:02,366 --> 00:02:04,226 You know what, here's a quarter. 40 00:02:04,266 --> 00:02:06,346 Go down to Times Square, you could get your own booth. 41 00:02:06,383 --> 00:02:08,173 Hey, hey, hey. 42 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:11,220 Now, you know I can't maneuver in them little rooms. 43 00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,180 Besides, after that donkey-show incident 44 00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,326 I don't think they're gonna let me back down there no more. 45 00:02:15,366 --> 00:02:17,326 But thanks for the quarter. 46 00:02:17,366 --> 00:02:19,296 What are you doin' here in the middle of the day anyway? 47 00:02:19,333 --> 00:02:22,003 You promised Pop we'd take him to the airport 48 00:02:22,330 --> 00:02:23,280 for Aunt Eunice's funeral. 49 00:02:23,316 --> 00:02:25,156 - What? - Hey, don't look at me. 50 00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:27,830 I ain't kill the old bag. 51 00:02:27,116 --> 00:02:29,276 - Baby, what time is it? - Almost two. 52 00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,216 Oh, God, I'm gonna be late for class. 53 00:02:31,250 --> 00:02:33,150 Oh, man, damn! 54 00:02:33,183 --> 00:02:36,503 Marlon, if he misses this funeral, Pop is gonna kill us. 55 00:02:36,830 --> 00:02:37,150 I never met Aunt Eunice. 56 00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:39,133 Oh, yeah, that's 'cause she was crazy. 57 00:02:39,166 --> 00:02:40,276 You know, after her 15th stroke 58 00:02:40,316 --> 00:02:42,326 Aunt Eunice learned to eat with her feet. 59 00:02:42,660 --> 00:02:43,250 - Her feet? - 'Like this.' 60 00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:48,330 You want some? 61 00:02:48,660 --> 00:02:49,330 Boy, put that down 62 00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:50,500 and come on, let's hurry up. 63 00:02:50,830 --> 00:02:51,120 We gotta get out of here, man. 64 00:02:51,150 --> 00:02:53,170 Baby, baby. 65 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:54,370 Stop it! 66 00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:58,130 What's wrong with you? 67 00:02:58,166 --> 00:02:59,346 Baby, at the airport, could you please 68 00:02:59,383 --> 00:03:01,103 drop this off at Federal Express? 69 00:03:01,133 --> 00:03:02,283 My sister really needs these earrings 70 00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,166 for a charity ball tomorrow night. 71 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,330 Sure, honey. 72 00:03:05,366 --> 00:03:07,296 Sorry, honey, but we're late. 73 00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:09,503 Mail it yourself, please. Thank you. 74 00:03:09,830 --> 00:03:10,170 Hey, hey, hey, what? 75 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:11,370 Respect the woman. 76 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,170 I do respect the woman. 77 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:14,350 Then apologize. 78 00:03:17,330 --> 00:03:19,380 - I'm sorry. - It's okay. 79 00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:23,330 Sorry you too damn lazy to mail your own package. 80 00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:25,250 - Who are you callin' lazy? - Hey, come on now, y'all stop! 81 00:03:25,283 --> 00:03:26,353 I'll knock the weave off her head! 82 00:03:26,383 --> 00:03:29,223 Stop it, alright? 83 00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,150 Anyway, I have to go. 84 00:03:32,183 --> 00:03:35,333 - I love you, baby. - I love you too, baby. 85 00:03:35,366 --> 00:03:37,246 Hear that? She loves me. 86 00:03:37,283 --> 00:03:40,123 Yeah, well, I'd love you too, if you did everything I said. 87 00:03:40,150 --> 00:03:41,320 Oh, come on now. 88 00:03:41,350 --> 00:03:43,120 You know it ain't like that between us. 89 00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:46,500 Yes, it is. You're her little errand boy, Shawn. 90 00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:48,350 If she says, jump, you say, how high? 91 00:03:48,383 --> 00:03:51,503 If she says, go, you say, how fast? 92 00:03:51,830 --> 00:03:54,170 If she screams, not yet, you say, oh, too late. 93 00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,150 Have you been listenin' at my door again? 94 00:04:00,183 --> 00:04:02,253 Hell, no. That's disgusting. 95 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:05,163 I'd never do that. 96 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,370 Besides, you can hear so much better from your closet. 97 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,130 Get outta here, you pervert! 98 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,180 Now, you know if I miss my plane to Cleveland 99 00:04:16,216 --> 00:04:18,316 I'm gonna beat you like a red-headed stepchild. 100 00:04:20,116 --> 00:04:22,166 You were 25 minutes late pickin' me up. 101 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,350 Aunt Eunice is dead, Pop, she ain't goin' anywhere. 102 00:04:24,383 --> 00:04:27,503 You both should be comin' with me. 103 00:04:27,830 --> 00:04:29,330 Didn't I teach you anything? 104 00:04:29,660 --> 00:04:30,200 There are two things in this world 105 00:04:30,233 --> 00:04:32,283 that are very very important. 106 00:04:32,316 --> 00:04:33,316 Family.. 107 00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:35,270 ...and big-breasted showgirls. 108 00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:39,123 Pop, how come mom ain't goin'? 109 00:04:39,150 --> 00:04:42,200 Man, I don't tell that woman what to do outside the bedroom. 110 00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,253 But in the bedroom, you know me.. 111 00:04:44,283 --> 00:04:46,303 Bang, bang, bang! 112 00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:48,273 Come on, Pop, come on. 113 00:04:48,300 --> 00:04:51,200 Oh, y'all should have seen your mother when Nixon was president. 114 00:04:51,233 --> 00:04:53,373 Oh, come on, Pop. 115 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,350 She was so fine, I used to call her sugar. 116 00:04:55,383 --> 00:04:57,373 - Give me some sugar, baby. - Come on, don't do this, man. 117 00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:00,160 That's downright.. 118 00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,200 [metal detector beeping] 119 00:05:02,233 --> 00:05:03,233 Oh, man! 120 00:05:04,300 --> 00:05:05,280 [beeping] 121 00:05:05,316 --> 00:05:06,296 Dang! 122 00:05:11,250 --> 00:05:12,380 [beeping] 123 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,220 Dang! Shoot! 124 00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:16,200 You got a metal plate in your head, son? 125 00:05:17,316 --> 00:05:19,326 Pop, I know what it is. 126 00:05:19,660 --> 00:05:21,220 It's that Hot Wheels car I ate when I was a kid. 127 00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:24,160 Damn! Watch, I'll show you. 128 00:05:24,500 --> 00:05:25,500 Excuse me. 129 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,200 [laughing] 130 00:05:35,233 --> 00:05:36,373 W-what you laughin' at, Fat Albert? 131 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,200 You better recognize. 132 00:05:39,316 --> 00:05:41,116 You better understand that, boy. 133 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,100 And you better recognize 134 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:53,333 you in an airport full of people, naked. 135 00:05:53,660 --> 00:05:54,320 Come on, get your clothes on, boy. 136 00:05:54,350 --> 00:05:56,330 What's wrong with you? 137 00:05:56,660 --> 00:05:57,230 (Marlon) 'Can I have my shoes, please?' 138 00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:58,366 Now, you got your tickets, right, Pop? 139 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,370 Yeah, I've got my tickets. 140 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,500 I have a brain in my head. 141 00:06:03,830 --> 00:06:06,330 And I got a little trouble with my boiler room, too. 142 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:07,830 I'll see you in a minute, alright? 143 00:06:07,116 --> 00:06:09,116 Alright, Pop. Light a match. 144 00:06:11,216 --> 00:06:13,496 Can I have my stuff, please? 145 00:06:13,830 --> 00:06:14,120 I found them. 146 00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:15,370 There you are, Mr. Starks. 147 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,300 - Huh? - Mr. Starks? 148 00:06:17,333 --> 00:06:19,503 John Starks of the New York Knicks. 149 00:06:19,830 --> 00:06:20,320 I think I'd know a professional athlete 150 00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:23,330 in the first class check-in area when I see one. 151 00:06:23,660 --> 00:06:24,220 What? 152 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,120 Shawn, she thinks I'm John Starks, man. 153 00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:28,280 I'm sorry, Mr. Starks, but you and your manager 154 00:06:28,316 --> 00:06:31,996 don't have to wait here with the common passengers. 155 00:06:32,330 --> 00:06:34,200 You're in first class and you can board right now. 156 00:06:34,233 --> 00:06:36,123 Oh, I'm sorry, there must be some kind of mistake. 157 00:06:36,150 --> 00:06:37,350 See, we don't even have any tickets. 158 00:06:37,383 --> 00:06:40,153 Well, of course you don't, because I do. Right here. 159 00:06:40,183 --> 00:06:42,833 Two first class tickets. 160 00:06:42,116 --> 00:06:44,126 Thank you, thank you very much. 161 00:06:44,166 --> 00:06:47,346 God bless you, babe. Say a prayer. Okay. 162 00:06:47,383 --> 00:06:49,383 We goin' first class. We goin'-- 163 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:50,370 Are you nuts? 164 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:53,160 No, I am John Starks. 165 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:54,170 And me and you, my friend 166 00:06:54,200 --> 00:06:56,500 are travelin' first class. 167 00:06:56,830 --> 00:06:58,300 See, says right here, "Mr. Jonathan Starks." 168 00:06:58,333 --> 00:06:59,303 That's me. 169 00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,333 And here's your ticket.. 170 00:07:01,366 --> 00:07:03,296 ..Boy. 171 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:06,203 Marlon, you a crazy. We are not gettin' on that plane. 172 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:07,273 Why not? 173 00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,300 'Cause first of all, it's illegal. 174 00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,203 Second of all, Lisa's at home waitin' on me. 175 00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:14,663 I can't believe I'm hearin' this. 176 00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:17,000 You used to be mad-fun back in the day. 177 00:07:17,330 --> 00:07:18,300 And now ever since Lisa came along 178 00:07:18,333 --> 00:07:20,203 and she gave you some sunshine 179 00:07:20,233 --> 00:07:22,163 you've been whipped. 180 00:07:24,366 --> 00:07:26,196 - What did you say to me? - You heard me! 181 00:07:26,233 --> 00:07:29,163 You're whipped. Whoosh! 182 00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:32,000 You're whipped like-like Denzel Washington in "Glory." 183 00:07:32,330 --> 00:07:33,320 Like Morgan Freeman in "Unforgiven." 184 00:07:33,350 --> 00:07:36,320 And LeVar Burton in-in everything he ever does! 185 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,320 Whipped, huh? You think I'm whipped? 186 00:07:39,350 --> 00:07:41,100 You must be crazy, I ain't whipped. 187 00:07:41,133 --> 00:07:43,223 I tell you right now, whipped is the last thing I am. 188 00:07:43,250 --> 00:07:45,160 I'll show you whipped. 189 00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:46,250 Kunta Kinte of love. 190 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:49,280 Excuse me. 191 00:07:49,316 --> 00:07:52,826 But my client over here, Mr. John Starks 192 00:07:52,116 --> 00:07:54,116 of the New York knickerbockers.. 193 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:57,150 ...is highly upset right now 194 00:07:57,183 --> 00:07:59,223 that there was no one here to meet him with his bags. 195 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,160 Now, if this is the level of service, I'm-- 196 00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,000 Fine, you're right, you're right. I'm sorry, sir. 197 00:08:03,330 --> 00:08:04,200 On behalf of myself and our airline 198 00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:06,333 let me be the first to extend to you a complimentary bag 199 00:08:06,366 --> 00:08:08,296 of our very own airline peanuts. 200 00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,333 Not good enough for me. 201 00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:12,230 I'm sorry, but this is unacceptable. 202 00:08:15,660 --> 00:08:16,330 That's better. 203 00:08:16,366 --> 00:08:18,226 You may go. 204 00:08:18,266 --> 00:08:20,176 - See, nigga, we got two bags! - We got two bags! 205 00:08:20,216 --> 00:08:22,246 [laughing] 206 00:08:22,283 --> 00:08:24,183 - Who you callin' whipped? - No, you the man. 207 00:08:24,216 --> 00:08:27,176 See, I'm just a squirrel in your world tryin' to get a what? 208 00:08:27,216 --> 00:08:29,116 - A peanut! - A peanut! 209 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,100 - Here we go, Mr. Starks. - Ah. 210 00:08:34,133 --> 00:08:36,173 - More delicious peanuts. - Ah, thank you. 211 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:38,180 - Our in-flight magazine. - Ooh. 212 00:08:38,216 --> 00:08:41,176 And some little wings to pin on our shirt. 213 00:08:41,216 --> 00:08:43,166 You shouldn't have. 214 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,280 Now, is there anything else I can get for you boys? 215 00:08:46,316 --> 00:08:48,266 Um, I'll have some more peanuts 216 00:08:48,300 --> 00:08:51,180 and a glass of champagne, no ice. 217 00:08:51,216 --> 00:08:53,216 Yes, sir. And you, Mr. Starks? 218 00:08:53,250 --> 00:08:55,330 I'll have something to drink, as well. 219 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,330 I'll have, uh, 40 ounce. 220 00:09:01,200 --> 00:09:02,330 No bag. 221 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,250 Yes, Mr. Starks. 222 00:09:09,283 --> 00:09:11,133 And, uh, oh, I'm sorry 223 00:09:11,166 --> 00:09:12,176 I didn't get your name. 224 00:09:12,216 --> 00:09:13,376 Uh, Mr. Williams. 225 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:15,270 He takes care of me when I'm on the road. 226 00:09:15,300 --> 00:09:18,300 Oh, I see, like a personal valet 227 00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:20,253 or a cabana boy. 228 00:09:20,283 --> 00:09:23,663 Perhaps like the one I met in Mallorca last winter 229 00:09:23,100 --> 00:09:24,180 who won't return my phone calls. 230 00:09:24,216 --> 00:09:26,346 - Oh, no, no, no. - Unh-unh, unh-unh. 231 00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:30,133 I'm-I'm just Mr. Starks' manager. 232 00:09:30,166 --> 00:09:31,326 Of course you are. 233 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:35,130 Nice guy. 234 00:09:36,266 --> 00:09:40,326 Oh, Shawn, are we livin' large, or what? 235 00:09:40,660 --> 00:09:41,320 I can't believe you talked me into this. 236 00:09:41,350 --> 00:09:43,150 Come on, man, relax. 237 00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:44,283 Take it easy. 238 00:09:44,316 --> 00:09:46,226 Enjoy first class. 239 00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:48,376 We don't even know where we're goin'. 240 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:50,160 Excuse me, fellas. 241 00:09:51,830 --> 00:09:52,280 Oh, if you don't mind my asking 242 00:09:52,316 --> 00:09:55,826 um, are you an entertainer 243 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,246 or an athlete? 244 00:09:56,283 --> 00:09:58,373 Or, uh, are you one of those rappers 245 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,330 that my kids just seem to love? 246 00:10:02,233 --> 00:10:04,333 And if you don't mind me askin' 247 00:10:04,660 --> 00:10:05,170 why do you think all black people 248 00:10:05,200 --> 00:10:07,660 got to be athletes and entertainers? 249 00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:08,230 Yeah? 250 00:10:08,266 --> 00:10:10,126 Oh, no, I-I don't think that about all black people. 251 00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:11,216 Of course not. 252 00:10:11,250 --> 00:10:13,120 Just the ones found in first class. 253 00:10:15,366 --> 00:10:16,996 Yeah? 254 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,230 And I bet you're just some rich white guy 255 00:10:19,266 --> 00:10:21,376 who owns a lot of land, has a beautiful wife 256 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:24,660 and drives a luxury automobile! 257 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:25,100 Exactly. 258 00:10:26,350 --> 00:10:28,230 I guess I told that guy, huh? 259 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:31,250 Hello, my Caucasian friend. 260 00:10:31,283 --> 00:10:33,153 Good to see ya. 261 00:10:33,183 --> 00:10:34,173 Ah. 262 00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:39,160 This is the life. 263 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,280 Man, I can't believe we're sittin' up here in first class 264 00:10:42,316 --> 00:10:44,176 pretendin' to be John Starks. 265 00:10:44,216 --> 00:10:45,196 And Boy. 266 00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:49,153 Man, I just hope nobody ever finds out about this. 267 00:10:49,183 --> 00:10:51,333 (male over PA) 'This is your co-pilot, we should be landing' 268 00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:53,130 'in Cleveland in just under an hour.' 269 00:10:53,166 --> 00:10:54,276 Help me, somebody! Help me, please! 270 00:10:54,316 --> 00:10:55,296 Help me, help me, help me. 271 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,663 I ain't the Motel 6! 272 00:10:57,100 --> 00:10:58,180 Get off of me! 273 00:11:01,300 --> 00:11:02,320 So, it's last season 274 00:11:02,350 --> 00:11:04,280 game four, I'm guarding Reggie Miller. 275 00:11:04,316 --> 00:11:07,126 Spike Lee gets up and he starts yellin' stuff at him. 276 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,496 So I say to Spike, "Hey, shut up and sit down 277 00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:11,280 you angry cricket!" 278 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:15,320 I read about those colorful intimidation techniques 279 00:11:15,350 --> 00:11:17,230 in "Sports Illustrated." 280 00:11:17,266 --> 00:11:19,166 It's called dissin'. 281 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,330 They were dissin' each other, right? 282 00:11:23,830 --> 00:11:25,150 No. Let me show you what a diss is. 283 00:11:25,183 --> 00:11:27,173 Now, get your mayonnaise-eatin' 284 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:28,300 baloney-smellin' 285 00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,283 David Duke-lookin' ass out of my face 286 00:11:30,316 --> 00:11:32,226 before I smack you off this plane. 287 00:11:33,366 --> 00:11:35,156 That was good. 288 00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,160 I think I'll go back and diss my wife. 289 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,320 Get outta of here, man! 290 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:42,203 Hot towels. 291 00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:43,383 Oh. Oh. 292 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,330 - Mr. Starks. - Thank you. 293 00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,500 Boy, stop! This ain't a bathroom. 294 00:11:58,830 --> 00:11:59,300 You're embarrassin' me, man. 295 00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:01,203 Show some class. 296 00:12:01,233 --> 00:12:03,223 [blowing nose] 297 00:12:07,283 --> 00:12:09,223 Good blow, sir. 298 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,500 Here you go, Monty. 299 00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:14,270 Monty, I hear we have a celebrity on board. 300 00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:17,000 Yes, we do, Bob. 301 00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:19,200 I told you to never call me Bob when we're working. 302 00:12:24,133 --> 00:12:25,383 Well, excuse me, Bob 303 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:27,300 I mean, captain. 304 00:12:31,233 --> 00:12:34,833 So you're John Starks, the basketball player. 305 00:12:34,116 --> 00:12:36,176 - Pleasure to meet you. - Yeah, I know. 306 00:12:37,316 --> 00:12:39,496 Are you anybody? 307 00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:41,270 Uh, yeah, actually I handle all business affairs 308 00:12:41,300 --> 00:12:44,130 and contracts for Mr. Starks when we're on the road. 309 00:12:44,166 --> 00:12:46,326 Oh, so, uh 310 00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:48,130 you're like what, his, uh, flunky? 311 00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:50,496 That's right. 312 00:12:50,830 --> 00:12:52,330 Uh, Boy, can you get me a blanket? 313 00:12:52,660 --> 00:12:53,320 It's kind of nippy in here. 314 00:12:53,350 --> 00:12:56,330 Thank you. Hey, hey. 315 00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:58,830 Watch that attitude, now, alright? 316 00:12:59,383 --> 00:13:01,133 So, uh...Mr. Starks 317 00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:03,266 you want to come up to the cockpit and see how I do my job? 318 00:13:03,300 --> 00:13:06,250 - Sure, I'd love to. - Follow me. 319 00:13:06,283 --> 00:13:08,223 Excuse me, boy. 320 00:13:08,250 --> 00:13:10,130 Hey, Bob 321 00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:11,246 you wouldn't happen to have any of those 322 00:13:11,283 --> 00:13:13,173 honey-roasted peanuts back there, would you? 323 00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:14,370 No, but I have some of those 324 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,320 little bottles of Remy Martin. 325 00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:25,163 I heard you manage John Starks. 326 00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,230 Do you handle a lot of athletes? 327 00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:28,366 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. 328 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,270 As a matter of fact, I handle all kinds of entertainers. 329 00:13:31,300 --> 00:13:33,120 Uh, as a matter of fact 330 00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:34,280 we just completed a film starring 331 00:13:34,316 --> 00:13:36,166 Bushwick Bill and Emmanuel Lewis. 332 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,330 It's called "Midgets to Society." 333 00:13:40,500 --> 00:13:41,220 It's a short film. 334 00:13:42,266 --> 00:13:45,116 Wow. Do you have any bigger stars? 335 00:13:45,150 --> 00:13:47,300 Um... you seen "Malcolm X?" 336 00:13:47,333 --> 00:13:48,353 Alright, maybe you know who this is. 337 00:13:48,383 --> 00:13:50,153 Tell me if you know who this is. 338 00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:56,300 "Yeah...Snowflake.. 339 00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,223 ...what's your angle?" 340 00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,120 You manage Denzel Washington? 341 00:14:00,150 --> 00:14:01,180 Yes. 342 00:14:10,266 --> 00:14:12,226 Just like "Jungle Fever." 343 00:14:16,150 --> 00:14:18,300 God, I loved that movie. 344 00:14:18,333 --> 00:14:21,333 When we land at Cleveland, look me up. 345 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,160 I'm staying at The Marriott. 346 00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:24,330 Yeah, you trying to find out 347 00:14:24,660 --> 00:14:26,830 if that myth is true, huh, girl? 348 00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,233 Oh, sorry about that, folks. 349 00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:31,326 Hit a little air pocket, nothing to worry about. 350 00:14:31,660 --> 00:14:33,330 That was my fault, Bob, I should have listened 351 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:35,350 when you said don't touch that red button! 352 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,170 That's okay, we usually carry 353 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,830 twice as much fuel as we need anyway. 354 00:14:39,116 --> 00:14:40,226 Smart move. 355 00:14:41,216 --> 00:14:42,326 Oh, man. 356 00:14:42,366 --> 00:14:45,276 Shawn, it is so cool up there. 357 00:14:45,316 --> 00:14:47,096 It's just crowded, though. 358 00:14:47,133 --> 00:14:49,003 It's like everywhere I tried to sit 359 00:14:49,330 --> 00:14:50,350 I was right on the captain's hand. 360 00:14:57,283 --> 00:14:58,333 What are you starin' at? 361 00:14:58,366 --> 00:15:00,126 Come on, Boy, get my blanket. 362 00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:02,116 Hey, hey, hey, Marlon, come on no. 363 00:15:02,150 --> 00:15:03,220 I'm not your lackey. 364 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:04,320 Now ever since we got on this plane 365 00:15:04,350 --> 00:15:06,170 you've been gettin' all the attention. 366 00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,830 You been signin' the autographs 367 00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,146 you got two desserts 368 00:15:09,183 --> 00:15:11,153 you got to sit on the captain's hand. 369 00:15:13,330 --> 00:15:15,280 And who am I, huh? I'm just blanket man. 370 00:15:15,316 --> 00:15:17,296 Blanket man? Hey, did you see that movie? 371 00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:20,273 Hell, no! Nobody did. 372 00:15:20,300 --> 00:15:22,330 Out of my way. Out of my way. I'm about to explode. 373 00:15:22,366 --> 00:15:25,276 Excuse me, sir, sir, you cannot use these bathrooms. 374 00:15:25,316 --> 00:15:27,376 This is the first class cabin. 375 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,350 You're gonna have a first class mess on your hands if you don't 376 00:15:29,383 --> 00:15:32,503 get out of my damn way, and let me use that bathroom. 377 00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,280 Shawn? Marlon? 378 00:15:35,316 --> 00:15:37,346 What the hell are y'all doin' up here? 379 00:15:37,383 --> 00:15:39,503 Do you know this man? 380 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:40,370 It's Pop, what are we gonna do? 381 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,830 Don't worry, I'll handle it. 382 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:44,316 Monty.. 383 00:15:44,350 --> 00:15:46,300 ...I've never seen this man before in my life. 384 00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:50,830 - Smooth. - Thanks. 385 00:15:50,116 --> 00:15:51,366 Ohh. 386 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,270 Y'all don't know me now. 387 00:15:57,300 --> 00:16:01,150 Excuse me, Mr. Strange man 388 00:16:01,183 --> 00:16:03,383 but maybe you are getting us confused 389 00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:06,150 with someone else, when, in fact, we are 390 00:16:06,183 --> 00:16:10,163 John Starks and manager. 391 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,180 Excuse me.. 392 00:16:12,216 --> 00:16:15,146 ...you got me confused with the man 393 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:17,173 who's gonna kick your natural-born ass 394 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,160 when I get you off this plane! 395 00:16:22,333 --> 00:16:24,833 I had enough of you, old man! 396 00:16:24,116 --> 00:16:25,146 - Get out of here. - Old man? 397 00:16:25,183 --> 00:16:27,003 I got your old man! 398 00:16:27,330 --> 00:16:28,220 I got your.. 399 00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:30,150 I got to use the bathroom. 400 00:16:30,183 --> 00:16:31,383 Get that lady out of there! 401 00:16:33,116 --> 00:16:35,826 I'm so sorry, Mr. Starks. 402 00:16:35,116 --> 00:16:37,146 It's like the Third World back there. 403 00:16:37,183 --> 00:16:39,233 I don't know why they don't just build a moat. 404 00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,296 Well, this is it, man. 405 00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:42,333 We've gone too far. 406 00:16:42,366 --> 00:16:44,216 We just humiliated our own father. 407 00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:46,120 Hey, hey, don't blame that on me. 408 00:16:46,150 --> 00:16:47,230 He humiliated himself. 409 00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:50,496 You seen that old Huggy Bear suit he was wearin'. 410 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,350 Look, Marlon, I'm not gonna play 411 00:16:52,383 --> 00:16:54,273 this game with you anymore, okay? 412 00:16:54,300 --> 00:16:56,660 As a matter of fact, for the rest of the flight 413 00:16:56,100 --> 00:16:57,130 don't talk to me. 414 00:16:57,166 --> 00:16:59,296 As a matter of fact, don't even look at me. 415 00:16:59,333 --> 00:17:00,383 Don't look at me. 416 00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:02,200 Excuse me, gentlemen. 417 00:17:02,233 --> 00:17:05,163 I have a young boy here named Timmy.. 418 00:17:05,500 --> 00:17:07,330 Isn't he cute? 419 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,160 And before I take him up to see the captain 420 00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:12,830 he would just love Mr. Starks' autograph. 421 00:17:12,116 --> 00:17:13,246 Sure. 422 00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:15,273 You're not John Starks. 423 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,200 Sure I am, little Timmy. 424 00:17:18,233 --> 00:17:21,183 No, you're not. I have his basketball card here. 425 00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,123 Shawn.. 426 00:17:24,150 --> 00:17:26,330 [snoring] 427 00:17:26,366 --> 00:17:28,176 If you're John Starks, then how many 428 00:17:28,216 --> 00:17:30,216 points per game did you average last year? 429 00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:33,320 I don't know, how many times did you wet the bed last week? 430 00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:36,380 You don't even look like John Starks. I'm tellin' the captain. 431 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,150 Boy, I will send you to Michael Jackson's house. 432 00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,003 You watch. I can prove it. 433 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:52,660 Monty, make a basket. 434 00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:55,833 Like, I'd need some bamboo. 435 00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,833 No, like this. 436 00:17:59,830 --> 00:18:01,220 - Oh. - Gimme that. 437 00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:05,120 Now, I'm gonna shoot this soda can into your basket. 438 00:18:05,150 --> 00:18:06,250 If only I had a nickel 439 00:18:06,283 --> 00:18:09,333 for every time I heard that. 440 00:18:09,660 --> 00:18:11,160 [inaudible] 441 00:18:11,500 --> 00:18:12,270 Timmy...watch it. 442 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:16,100 Mr. John Starks is about to take you downtown, little brother. 443 00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:21,830 [exhales heavily] 444 00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:28,000 (Bob) 'Ow!' 445 00:18:28,330 --> 00:18:30,100 Sorry, Bob! 446 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,270 Man, Pop, I think this is the worst day of my life. 447 00:18:35,300 --> 00:18:37,120 I can't believe Monty tried to shove us 448 00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:39,230 in one of those little overhead bins. 449 00:18:39,266 --> 00:18:41,216 Yeah, I couldn't believe how strong he was. 450 00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:44,130 - Get your butt out of there! - Excuse me. Excuse me. 451 00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:46,156 - Get you butt down, man. - I'm sorry. 452 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,330 Ow! Sorry, bro. 453 00:18:48,366 --> 00:18:50,216 - Sit your behind down. - Oh, come on, man! 454 00:18:50,250 --> 00:18:53,500 Alright, I'm cool, I'm cool. 455 00:18:53,830 --> 00:18:54,350 (Shawn) 'Oh, come on, man.' 456 00:18:59,350 --> 00:19:02,350 Fix it, fix it right, man. 457 00:19:02,383 --> 00:19:06,003 Come on. I can't believe I'm related to you two. 458 00:19:06,330 --> 00:19:08,830 It make me wanna go home and smack your mama. 459 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,163 Hey, look, Pops, we're sorry 460 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:14,160 about puttin' you through all this trouble. 461 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,830 But I'm sure you understand. 462 00:19:16,116 --> 00:19:17,096 Yeah, I understand. 463 00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:18,223 Well, you know, uh, I was young 464 00:19:18,250 --> 00:19:19,300 once myself, you know? 465 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:21,303 Really? Ooh, I can't picture that. 466 00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:23,133 You old as the dinosaurs, man. 467 00:19:23,166 --> 00:19:24,376 Shut up and let me tell the story. 468 00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:27,100 Now, one day I was 469 00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:29,173 on a business trip without your mother. 470 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,320 I'm havin' me a few drinks in the club car 471 00:19:31,350 --> 00:19:33,130 got a little tipsy 472 00:19:33,166 --> 00:19:36,266 and tried to pass myself off as Johnny Mathis. 473 00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:38,200 - Did it work? - Hell, no! 474 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:41,303 Those Amtrak boys beat the crap out of me. 475 00:19:41,333 --> 00:19:43,373 They got those big ring of keys, you know? 476 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,330 Oh, so you was like the first Rodney King, huh? 477 00:19:46,660 --> 00:19:48,130 Rodney King don't know nothin' about no butt-whippin'. 478 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:51,350 Hey.. 479 00:19:51,383 --> 00:19:53,103 ...well, at least we got to experience 480 00:19:53,133 --> 00:19:54,223 first class, bro. 481 00:19:54,250 --> 00:19:56,270 And you can't call me whipped anymore. 482 00:19:58,133 --> 00:19:59,253 Lisa's package. 483 00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:01,833 Oh, man. 484 00:20:01,116 --> 00:20:03,096 She's gonna kill me, man. 485 00:20:03,133 --> 00:20:04,233 Whoosh. 486 00:20:08,183 --> 00:20:09,303 Shawn, where are you? 487 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,353 I've been waiting in your apartment for two hours. 488 00:20:11,383 --> 00:20:13,253 Yeah, well, baby, it's like this. 489 00:20:13,283 --> 00:20:16,003 See, I missed the last FedEx pickup 490 00:20:16,330 --> 00:20:17,120 and I knew how important it was 491 00:20:17,150 --> 00:20:19,330 for your sister to get those earrings 492 00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:20,250 and I didn't wanna let you down. 493 00:20:20,283 --> 00:20:22,103 So guess what I did. 494 00:20:22,133 --> 00:20:26,003 I jumped on an airplane so I could hand-deliver 'em myself. 495 00:20:26,330 --> 00:20:30,330 You know why? 'Cause that's the kind of boyfriend I am. 496 00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:31,170 Whoosh. 497 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:32,280 Shut up, man. 498 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,180 I wuv you, Shawn. 499 00:20:36,216 --> 00:20:39,376 - I wuv you too, Lisa. - What? 500 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,250 I said, I wuv you, too, Lisa. 501 00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:44,323 Shawn, you're breaking up, I can't hear. 502 00:20:44,350 --> 00:20:48,100 I said, I wuv you, too, Lisa! 503 00:20:48,133 --> 00:20:49,353 (all) Whoosh. 504 00:20:56,100 --> 00:20:58,200 Pop, your son's a disgrace. 505 00:20:58,233 --> 00:20:59,333 Son? 506 00:20:59,366 --> 00:21:02,346 I have never seen these boys in my life. 507 00:21:02,383 --> 00:21:05,233 I happen to be Johnny Mathis. 508 00:21:07,150 --> 00:21:09,500 It's a well-known fact Johnny Mathis 509 00:21:09,830 --> 00:21:10,380 doesn't have any children. 510 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,220 ♪ Look at me ♪ 511 00:21:14,250 --> 00:21:15,370 ♪ I'm as helpless ♪ 512 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,350 ♪ As a kitten up a tree ♪♪ 513 00:21:17,383 --> 00:21:19,183 - Okay, okay, Pop. - Come on, Pop. 514 00:21:19,216 --> 00:21:22,216 ♪ It seems like I'm clinging to a cloud ♪♪ 515 00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:24,320 I can't see how this day could get any worse. 516 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:28,000 Hey, I just thought of somethin'. 517 00:21:28,330 --> 00:21:29,320 How are we gonna get home from Cleveland? 518 00:21:29,350 --> 00:21:33,320 ♪ On my own ♪♪ 519 00:21:33,350 --> 00:21:35,280 - Would you shut up? - Would you shut up? 520 00:21:40,250 --> 00:21:42,270 [instrumental music] 521 00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:44,280 [baby wailing] 522 00:21:48,316 --> 00:21:53,496 (male Man, if I ever find the guys who stole my first class ticket 523 00:21:53,830 --> 00:21:54,300 I'll kill them. 524 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,180 ♪ Sometimes we walk ♪ 525 00:22:07,216 --> 00:22:10,126 ♪ Hand in hand by the sea ♪ 526 00:22:10,166 --> 00:22:13,376 ♪ And we breathe in the cool salty air ♪ 527 00:22:14,160 --> 00:22:16,000 ♪ Ahh ​​ahh ahh ♪ 528 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:17,250 ♪ You turn to me ♪ 529 00:22:17,283 --> 00:22:20,173 ♪ With a kiss in your eyes ♪ 530 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:24,380 ♪ And my heart feels a thrill beyond compare ♪ 531 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,320 ♪ What a moment to share ♪ 532 00:22:27,350 --> 00:22:30,350 ♪ It's wonderful wonderful ♪ 533 00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:34,253 ♪ Oh so wonderful ♪ 534 00:22:34,283 --> 00:22:37,103 ♪ My love ♪♪ 535 00:22:37,133 --> 00:22:39,133 (Monty) 'Oh, Johnny!'