1 00:01:24,376 --> 00:01:25,792 Good morning, housewives. 2 00:01:25,917 --> 00:01:27,459 And a very special good morning 3 00:01:27,584 --> 00:01:32,001 to the housewife who lives at 26 Fairmile Road, Derby. 4 00:01:32,126 --> 00:01:34,251 Yes, it's you, Mrs Beryl Heseltine, 5 00:01:34,376 --> 00:01:37,542 your great day, because I've got birthday greetings for you 6 00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:40,126 from your husband Charles, your son Harry, 7 00:01:40,251 --> 00:01:42,126 not forgetting the girls next door. 8 00:01:42,251 --> 00:01:43,459 'They've chosen for you 9 00:01:43,584 --> 00:01:46,209 'Kenneth McKellar singing "Song of the Clyde." 10 00:01:46,334 --> 00:01:47,792 'And here he is.' 11 00:01:49,626 --> 00:01:53,917 ? I'll sing of a river I'm happy beside 12 00:01:54,042 --> 00:01:58,334 ? The song that I sing is the song of the Clyde 13 00:01:58,459 --> 00:02:02,626 ? Of all Scottish rivers it's dearest to me 14 00:02:02,751 --> 00:02:06,959 ? It flows from the hills all the way to the sea 15 00:02:07,084 --> 00:02:11,334 ? It borders the orchards of Lanark so fair 16 00:02:11,459 --> 00:02:15,501 ? Meanders through meadows with sheep grazing there 17 00:02:15,626 --> 00:02:19,792 ? But from Glasgow to Greenock in towns on each side 18 00:02:19,917 --> 00:02:24,459 ? The hammer's ding-dong is the song of the Clyde ? 19 00:02:24,584 --> 00:02:26,917 She likes to sing when she does her housework. 20 00:02:27,042 --> 00:02:28,459 That applies to a lot of you. 21 00:02:28,584 --> 00:02:33,126 But, actually, I'm talking to Mrs Ritchie of Flat 43, 22 00:02:33,251 --> 00:02:35,209 Priory House, West Bromwich. 23 00:02:35,334 --> 00:02:38,751 'Your niece Eileen has written to me asking for your favourite tune 24 00:02:38,876 --> 00:02:40,292 'and it's coming up now.' 25 00:03:17,959 --> 00:03:19,417 'Now, I've quite a few names. 26 00:03:19,542 --> 00:03:24,001 'There's Mrs Joyce Tucker of 74 Clement Attlee Way, Nottingham. 27 00:03:24,126 --> 00:03:27,167 'Mrs Rhoda Elliott of London Road, Slough. 28 00:03:27,292 --> 00:03:30,084 'There's Mrs Rose Chester of Cartmell Drive, Lincoln. 29 00:03:30,209 --> 00:03:32,667 'And last but not least, Mrs Betty Bullock. 30 00:03:32,792 --> 00:03:37,042 'Now, congratulations for you, Mrs Bullock, on your 70th birthday. 31 00:03:37,167 --> 00:03:39,584 'I don't know your address, but wherever you're listening, 32 00:03:39,709 --> 00:03:43,376 'I hope you and the neighbours will enjoy hearing Litolff's scherzo'. 33 00:04:03,334 --> 00:04:06,917 - Ee, they've never sent my book. - Here's your tea, Mother. 34 00:04:07,042 --> 00:04:09,251 They've not played that record of mine yet. 35 00:04:09,376 --> 00:04:11,584 It must be at the bottom of the pile, my name. 36 00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:15,251 - Them curtains could do with a wash. - Oh, shut up, Mother. 37 00:04:15,376 --> 00:04:16,876 Where's his bloody Lordship? 38 00:04:17,001 --> 00:04:20,376 She wants to go up with a wet dishcloth and wring it over his face. 39 00:04:20,501 --> 00:04:23,459 - He wants a bloody good hiding. - I've shouted him three times. 40 00:04:23,584 --> 00:04:25,709 That'd shift him. He'd have to get up then. 41 00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:28,334 Every morning the same! 42 00:04:28,459 --> 00:04:29,917 Hey, you up there, come on! 43 00:04:30,042 --> 00:04:31,459 Get out of it! 44 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:42,084 'It was a big day for us. 45 00:04:42,209 --> 00:04:45,042 'We had won the war in Ambrosia. 46 00:04:45,167 --> 00:04:48,876 'Democracy was back once more in our beloved country.' 47 00:05:12,626 --> 00:05:14,959 Go up and kick him out. He's bloody idle. 48 00:05:15,084 --> 00:05:18,584 - She lets him do just as he likes. - Go up to him yourself. 49 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,834 Do you hear me? Bloody well get up! 50 00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:53,626 Squad, eyes left! 51 00:05:53,751 --> 00:05:55,459 Eyes left! 52 00:06:08,834 --> 00:06:12,251 Battalion, by the left, salute! 53 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:18,917 'It is often wondered how left-handed salutes, 54 00:06:19,042 --> 00:06:21,876 'peculiar to our republic, originated. 55 00:06:22,001 --> 00:06:25,584 'This is a tribute to the seven survivors of the Battle of Wakefield, 56 00:06:25,709 --> 00:06:28,751 'all of whom, by coincidence, have lost their right arms.' 57 00:06:28,876 --> 00:06:31,167 By the left... 58 00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:33,084 salute! 59 00:06:42,709 --> 00:06:46,542 Billy, your boiled egg's stone cold! 60 00:06:48,459 --> 00:06:51,876 Well, come on, then! It's nearly half past nine. 61 00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:54,292 I'll not tell you again. 62 00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:56,417 All right, I'm coming. 63 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,542 'Today is a day of big decisions. 64 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:08,834 'I'm going to start writing me novel, 65 00:07:08,959 --> 00:07:11,542 '2,000 words every day. 66 00:07:11,667 --> 00:07:14,709 'I'm going to start getting up in the morning. 67 00:07:16,459 --> 00:07:19,084 'Well, I might as well cut that for a start. 68 00:07:21,917 --> 00:07:22,917 'Yes. 69 00:07:23,917 --> 00:07:26,209 'Today is a day 70 00:07:26,334 --> 00:07:28,542 'of big decisions.' 71 00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:30,542 Don't go making fresh tea for him. 72 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,292 You've enough to do without cooking six breakfasts. 73 00:07:33,417 --> 00:07:36,334 That was a blackie postman just went past the window. 74 00:07:36,459 --> 00:07:38,834 Ee, they're all darkies now. 75 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:42,667 There's blackie bus conductors and blackie nurses. 76 00:07:42,792 --> 00:07:45,876 They can't get work, you know, in South Africa. 77 00:07:46,001 --> 00:07:48,417 - Ee! - Go on, ignorant, knock her over. 78 00:07:48,542 --> 00:07:50,209 A cabinet change is imminent. 79 00:07:50,334 --> 00:07:52,501 You'll be imminent if you don't get up. 80 00:07:52,626 --> 00:07:55,001 - Good morning, Father. - Get on with it, lad. 81 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:56,917 You're half an hour late already. 82 00:07:57,042 --> 00:07:58,917 Good morning, Mater. How are you? 83 00:07:59,042 --> 00:08:02,251 - She lets him do as he likes. - I'm your most obedient servant. 84 00:08:02,376 --> 00:08:05,376 You can stop that bloody game. Hey, it's you I'm talking to! 85 00:08:05,501 --> 00:08:09,417 What time did you get in last night? More like this bloody morning! 86 00:08:09,542 --> 00:08:12,042 I really couldn't say. About half past eleven. 87 00:08:12,167 --> 00:08:14,501 Yeah, more like one o'clock. 88 00:08:14,626 --> 00:08:17,667 I'm not having you gallivanting about all hours. 89 00:08:17,792 --> 00:08:21,167 - Who are you having gallivanting about? - I'll give you a thick ear! 90 00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:25,167 And what were you doing down at Foley Bottoms at nine last night? 91 00:08:25,292 --> 00:08:28,292 - Who said I was at Foley Bottoms? - Never mind who says. 92 00:08:28,417 --> 00:08:31,334 You were there, and it wasn't that Barbara you were with. 93 00:08:31,459 --> 00:08:33,501 He wants to make up his mind who he's with. 94 00:08:33,626 --> 00:08:36,501 He goes out with too many lasses. He's like a lass himself. 95 00:08:36,626 --> 00:08:40,292 You want to tell whoever saw me to mind their own fizzing business. 96 00:08:40,417 --> 00:08:42,917 It is our business, and don't you be so cheeky. 97 00:08:43,042 --> 00:08:46,501 If Barbara's coming for tea, I shall tell her so don't think I won't. 98 00:08:46,626 --> 00:08:50,292 You never play fair with that girl. I'm surprised she bothers with you. 99 00:08:50,417 --> 00:08:52,667 He's not old enough to stop out half the night. 100 00:08:52,792 --> 00:08:55,459 - One. - It's every bloody night alike. 101 00:08:55,584 --> 00:08:58,334 - Two. - Come in at a proper bloody time. 102 00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:00,626 - Three. - Or live somewhere else. 103 00:09:00,751 --> 00:09:02,626 - Perhaps I will do. - You what? 104 00:09:03,751 --> 00:09:05,417 I've been offered a job in London. 105 00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:08,501 Ee, there's been a lot of twins born lately. 106 00:09:09,251 --> 00:09:12,209 I said I have been offered 107 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,417 a job in London. 108 00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:16,876 - What bloody job? - How do you mean? 109 00:09:17,001 --> 00:09:19,084 A job scriptwriting. 110 00:09:19,209 --> 00:09:22,917 Scriptwriting! He can't write his name so that anybody can read it. 111 00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:24,876 How do you mean, scriptwriting? 112 00:09:25,001 --> 00:09:28,251 I've told you. Boon, Danny Boon, the television comedian. 113 00:09:28,376 --> 00:09:30,751 He's in town opening the new supermarkets. 114 00:09:30,876 --> 00:09:32,417 I sent him some of me scripts. 115 00:09:32,542 --> 00:09:34,959 He's read 'em. He's read 'em and he likes 'em. 116 00:09:35,084 --> 00:09:38,417 Sent me this letter... Look. 117 00:09:40,792 --> 00:09:44,042 He's offered me a job in London. He likes my material. 118 00:09:45,209 --> 00:09:47,251 How do you mean, he likes your material? 119 00:09:49,959 --> 00:09:52,584 This is Danny Boon, right? 120 00:09:52,709 --> 00:09:56,709 And this pepper pot is my material, right? 121 00:09:56,834 --> 00:09:57,876 Right? 122 00:09:58,001 --> 00:10:01,542 Danny Boon sees my flaming material so he flaming well asks me for it! 123 00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:02,917 Here, here, here! 124 00:10:03,042 --> 00:10:05,251 Watch your language. Flaming this and that. 125 00:10:05,376 --> 00:10:08,834 - He's gone too far. - Do you want to know or don't you? 126 00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:11,084 Because if you want to know, I'll tell you, 127 00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:13,667 and if you don't want to know, I'll shut up. 128 00:10:14,959 --> 00:10:17,709 - Right. Try again... - You just eat your breakfast. 129 00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,376 - Plus get your mucky self washed. - And get to work. 130 00:10:20,501 --> 00:10:23,209 Why don't you see he gets dressed before he comes down? 131 00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:24,959 She wants to burn his raincoat. 132 00:10:25,084 --> 00:10:28,501 Fling it on the fireback. Then he'd have to get dressed. 133 00:10:30,917 --> 00:10:32,834 Spoiled him all your life. 134 00:10:32,959 --> 00:10:36,876 I knew it would be my fault. I don't know. 135 00:10:37,001 --> 00:10:40,709 He won't have a job anywhere, never mind London, at this rate. 136 00:10:40,834 --> 00:10:43,459 He's not going to London. That's one of his stories. 137 00:10:43,584 --> 00:10:45,834 He can't say two words without telling a lie. 138 00:10:45,959 --> 00:10:49,084 What was he telling that woman about me having me leg off? 139 00:10:49,209 --> 00:10:50,959 Do I look as if I've had my leg off? 140 00:10:51,917 --> 00:10:54,459 You'll have to stop making things up, Billy. 141 00:10:54,584 --> 00:10:56,417 There's no sense in it at your age. 142 00:10:56,542 --> 00:10:58,584 We never know where we are with you. 143 00:10:58,709 --> 00:11:02,251 I mean, you're too old for things like that now. 144 00:11:02,376 --> 00:11:04,917 I don't know what we're going to do with you. 145 00:11:09,792 --> 00:11:13,126 Oh, my God, how dreary. Billy's pissed again. 146 00:11:17,792 --> 00:11:21,209 So glad you're going to London, you old loafer. 147 00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:25,292 Simone and I were thinking of kicking you out of the old nest any day now. 148 00:11:25,417 --> 00:11:29,376 Better come into the library, and we'll talk about the money end. 149 00:11:31,667 --> 00:11:34,292 And keep your hands off my bloody razor in future! 150 00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:35,542 Seventeen. 151 00:11:35,667 --> 00:11:39,542 You can't call anything your own in this house, can you? 152 00:11:40,334 --> 00:11:42,167 Hey, shirt. 153 00:11:42,292 --> 00:11:44,584 When are you going to unlock that wardrobe? 154 00:11:44,709 --> 00:11:46,667 - Why? - Because I say so. 155 00:11:46,792 --> 00:11:49,667 - I've got me private things in there. - Never mind things. 156 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:53,584 I've got shirts and socks and pants waiting to go in there. 157 00:11:53,709 --> 00:11:56,209 It's not natural to keep a wardrobe locked up. 158 00:11:56,334 --> 00:11:58,834 - A lad of your age! - Well, it's my wardrobe. 159 00:11:58,959 --> 00:12:01,084 Who paid for it? It's our wardrobe. 160 00:12:01,209 --> 00:12:04,126 Get it unlocked and leave it unlocked, if you don't mind. 161 00:12:04,251 --> 00:12:08,584 If it isn't unlocked when I get back, I'll smash the bloody thing open. 162 00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:21,709 Oh, flaming calendars! 163 00:12:43,376 --> 00:12:46,917 'It's a good heart that says no ill but a better heart that thinks none.' 164 00:12:47,042 --> 00:12:49,209 I don't think. 165 00:12:49,334 --> 00:12:52,001 'Those who bring sunshine into the lives of others 166 00:12:52,126 --> 00:12:54,542 'cannot keep it from themselves.' 167 00:13:01,001 --> 00:13:04,292 Did you spend the postage money? Was that the size of it? 168 00:13:05,292 --> 00:13:09,084 'You were given these calendars to post last Christmas. 169 00:13:09,209 --> 00:13:12,084 'All right, Billy boy, on your feet. 170 00:13:14,334 --> 00:13:17,667 'William Terence Fisher, I have a warrant for your arrest 171 00:13:17,792 --> 00:13:20,417 'on the charge that you did, wilfully and knowingly, 172 00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:23,667 'misappropriate 270 calendars, 173 00:13:23,792 --> 00:13:28,084 'the property of your employers, Messrs Shadrack and Duxbury...' 174 00:14:00,584 --> 00:14:02,542 Well, Fisher, 175 00:14:02,667 --> 00:14:04,834 you've certainly earned your remission. 176 00:14:04,959 --> 00:14:06,709 You've used your time well. 177 00:14:06,834 --> 00:14:09,917 This is the finest expos� of prison life I've ever read. 178 00:14:10,042 --> 00:14:13,042 Thank you, sir. I think you'll get your reforms now. 179 00:14:13,167 --> 00:14:14,834 A great many MPs are on our side. 180 00:14:15,917 --> 00:14:18,042 Not only MPs, Fisher. 181 00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:27,459 - From us all. - Thank you. 182 00:14:27,584 --> 00:14:28,626 Goodbye. 183 00:14:28,751 --> 00:14:30,792 - Been nice knowing you. - Bye. 184 00:14:38,209 --> 00:14:39,626 Welcome home, Billy. 185 00:14:59,542 --> 00:15:02,792 - Come on, lad. Come on. - All right. 186 00:15:08,959 --> 00:15:11,751 - Aren't you ready yet? - Just a minute. 187 00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:14,751 You'll never get to work at this rate, never mind London. 188 00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,167 You'll set off one of these days and meet yourself coming back. 189 00:15:32,876 --> 00:15:35,042 - Just off, Mother. - Don't hurry yourself. 190 00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:36,584 'It's five to ten.' 191 00:15:36,709 --> 00:15:39,542 Er, actually, I've just been thinking. 192 00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:43,667 I might as well give me notice in today if I'm going to London. 193 00:15:43,792 --> 00:15:46,459 You want to make up your mind what you do want to do. 194 00:15:46,584 --> 00:15:49,376 Well... work for Danny Boon. 195 00:15:50,792 --> 00:15:54,209 How do you know? You've never done that sort of thing before. 196 00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:57,042 You can't switch and change and swap about 197 00:15:57,167 --> 00:15:59,042 just when you feel like it. 198 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:02,001 - You've got your living to earn now. - You worry too much. 199 00:16:03,209 --> 00:16:05,167 Ta-ra, Gran. Ta-ra, Mum. 200 00:16:06,251 --> 00:16:09,792 'An Ashanti tribesman had a small son.' 201 00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:13,251 - Good morning, Billy. - Oh, good morning. 202 00:16:26,459 --> 00:16:29,542 'If I can get to the end of the street without opening me eyes, 203 00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:32,417 'everything will be all right.' 204 00:16:42,792 --> 00:16:45,834 You do know that's the late Mr Parkin in there? 205 00:16:45,959 --> 00:16:48,751 We don't want a recurrence of last week's fiasco, do we? 206 00:16:48,876 --> 00:16:51,334 - Have you checked the oil at all? - I have. 207 00:16:53,626 --> 00:16:55,542 Extraordinary time to come to work. 208 00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:58,876 I'm sorry, Mr Shadrack, only I spilt hot water down me arm. 209 00:16:59,001 --> 00:17:00,917 I've been to the doctor's. 210 00:17:02,459 --> 00:17:04,501 Must be going-home time. Fisher's here. 211 00:17:04,626 --> 00:17:07,626 - How long has Bighead been here? - All night, I should think. 212 00:17:07,751 --> 00:17:10,542 - Where did you say you'd been? - To the doctor's. 213 00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:12,792 - To the doctor's? - To the doctor's. 214 00:17:12,917 --> 00:17:16,542 - Kindly tell these good people why. - I don't like the look of my wife. 215 00:17:16,667 --> 00:17:19,126 I wish I'd come with you. I hate the sight of mine. 216 00:17:19,251 --> 00:17:21,126 Ha, ha, ha! 217 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,501 - Haven't you got work to do? - Yes, Mr Shadrack. 218 00:17:25,626 --> 00:17:28,501 I'm trying to run an up-to-date organisation here. 219 00:17:28,626 --> 00:17:29,959 Far too much laxity. 220 00:17:30,084 --> 00:17:32,501 Oh, Stamp, I'd like to see your ashes list. 221 00:17:34,917 --> 00:17:37,334 Watch it. He's been going through all the books. 222 00:17:37,459 --> 00:17:39,334 - He's in a terrible temper. - Is he? 223 00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:42,792 - Has he balanced the petty cash yet? - I don't know. 224 00:17:42,917 --> 00:17:45,167 - How much have you fiddled? - Shut your head. 225 00:17:45,292 --> 00:17:47,542 He thinks postage money is part of his wages. 226 00:17:47,667 --> 00:17:50,792 I've got something unpleasant to say to Mr Shadrack today. 227 00:17:50,917 --> 00:17:53,042 You've got something unpleasant to say? 228 00:17:53,167 --> 00:17:56,626 - Anything I say would be unpleasant. - Kindly leave the undertakers. 229 00:17:56,751 --> 00:17:58,501 I'm giving in my notice today. 230 00:17:58,626 --> 00:18:01,584 - You are? - Wonderful comedian! 231 00:18:03,334 --> 00:18:06,584 Shadrack and Duxbury, funeral furnishers. 232 00:18:06,709 --> 00:18:09,501 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, madam. 233 00:18:09,626 --> 00:18:12,042 When shall we call for him? 234 00:18:12,167 --> 00:18:15,542 Shadrack to funeral fleet. Shadrack to funeral fleet. 235 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:17,876 'Are you receiving me? Over.' 236 00:18:20,292 --> 00:18:22,376 Receiving you loud and clear. Over. 237 00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:26,626 State your position, please. State your position. Over. 238 00:18:26,751 --> 00:18:29,792 We're just turning into Sheepgate from the memorial. 239 00:18:29,917 --> 00:18:32,459 Traffic at Coal Lane junction is holding us up. Over. 240 00:18:33,084 --> 00:18:35,126 'Suggest you divert cort�ge. 241 00:18:35,251 --> 00:18:39,292 suggest you divert cort�ge down new bypass. 242 00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:40,876 'Acknowledge, please.' 243 00:18:41,001 --> 00:18:42,834 Message received. Roger and out. 244 00:18:45,001 --> 00:18:47,167 Come on, shift. 245 00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:50,209 Any doctor's papers amongst all this rubbish? 246 00:18:53,084 --> 00:18:56,501 Hey, what are writing to Godfrey Winn for? 247 00:18:56,626 --> 00:18:57,917 Shut up. 248 00:18:58,042 --> 00:19:01,001 Oh, it's not him. It's his mother. "Housewives' Choice"? 249 00:19:01,126 --> 00:19:02,209 Hey! 250 00:19:02,334 --> 00:19:05,542 "Dear sir, could you play "Just a Song at Twilight" for me? 251 00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:09,001 - "It is my favourite song." - Do you bloody mind? 252 00:19:09,126 --> 00:19:12,709 Sorry, love. Is that the Midland Hotel? Reception, please. 253 00:19:12,834 --> 00:19:16,584 "My husband used to sing it to me when we were a little bit younger." 254 00:19:16,709 --> 00:19:18,126 - I bet! - Get it off him. 255 00:19:18,251 --> 00:19:21,251 - Come on, Stamp. - No, no. Listen to this bit. 256 00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:22,792 "My son also writes songs, 257 00:19:22,917 --> 00:19:26,292 "but there's not much chance for him as he has not had the training. 258 00:19:26,417 --> 00:19:30,542 "We are just ordinary folk." A Fisher, Mrs. 259 00:19:30,667 --> 00:19:31,709 Come on. 260 00:19:32,626 --> 00:19:35,292 Well, I'm not ordinary folk, even if she is. 261 00:19:35,417 --> 00:19:38,376 Hello, reception? 262 00:19:38,501 --> 00:19:40,834 Could I speak to Mr Boon, please? 263 00:19:40,959 --> 00:19:44,084 Danny Boon. Will you tell him it's Mr Fisher? 264 00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:47,667 - I've got that job. - You haven't. 265 00:19:47,792 --> 00:19:49,459 Scriptwriter. I start next week. 266 00:19:49,584 --> 00:19:52,251 You jammy devil. How much is he paying you? 267 00:19:52,376 --> 00:19:56,084 We haven't discussed terms yet but it's more than I'm getting here. 268 00:19:56,209 --> 00:19:59,251 I'm sorry. Mr Boon's not taking any calls at the moment. 269 00:20:01,417 --> 00:20:03,834 Oh, Mr Boon? 270 00:20:03,959 --> 00:20:06,459 Fisher this end. 271 00:20:06,584 --> 00:20:08,959 Oh, very well, thank you. How are you? 272 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,626 Oh, that's marvellous, yes. 273 00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:12,792 I don't want to bother you at the moment, 274 00:20:12,917 --> 00:20:16,042 but I was wondering, would three o'clock be a good time 275 00:20:16,167 --> 00:20:18,751 for me to come and see you? 276 00:20:18,876 --> 00:20:22,001 Oh, good. Yes, I'll bring some of my material. 277 00:20:22,126 --> 00:20:24,376 Er, the Nell Gwynn suite, is it? 278 00:20:24,501 --> 00:20:27,292 Yes, I thought so. Oh, that's marvellous. 279 00:20:27,417 --> 00:20:30,209 Look forward to seeing you then. Fine. Bye. 280 00:20:31,584 --> 00:20:34,584 - And success! - Good morning. 281 00:20:34,709 --> 00:20:36,876 It's all right. It's only me mother. 282 00:20:37,626 --> 00:20:40,167 I brought the key. I shall be out this afternoon. 283 00:20:40,292 --> 00:20:42,042 What did you want to come here for? 284 00:20:42,167 --> 00:20:43,709 Could have got in the window. 285 00:20:43,834 --> 00:20:46,292 You're not getting in through no window. 286 00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:49,251 How's your father, Billy? Is he still in hospital? 287 00:20:49,376 --> 00:20:51,834 Er, yes, yes. He's quite comfortable, though. 288 00:20:51,959 --> 00:20:54,167 What does the specialist say about his leg? 289 00:20:54,292 --> 00:20:57,167 It might have to come off but they haven't seen the X-rays. 290 00:20:57,292 --> 00:21:00,209 - There's still a good chance. - Oh. How's your sister? 291 00:21:00,334 --> 00:21:03,334 - Oh, fine, fine. - What bloody sister? 292 00:21:03,459 --> 00:21:06,417 "How's your sister?" "Oh, she's very well." 293 00:21:06,542 --> 00:21:09,001 "How's your husband? Is he still on the buses?" 294 00:21:09,126 --> 00:21:11,042 "Yes, he's still on the buses." 295 00:21:19,917 --> 00:21:23,292 'April is the cruellest month. A smile can make it better. 296 00:21:23,417 --> 00:21:27,584 'It takes 60 muscles to frown, but only 13 to smile: June. 297 00:21:27,709 --> 00:21:31,459 'Kindness in another's troubles, courage in your own: August. 298 00:21:31,584 --> 00:21:35,709 'Think all you speak but speak not all you think: December.' 299 00:21:47,667 --> 00:21:50,126 'Speak all you think but think not all you speak.' 300 00:21:52,209 --> 00:21:55,376 'Speak all you speak but speak not all you think!' 301 00:22:02,209 --> 00:22:04,459 - Just a minute! - Come on. 302 00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:07,459 - Are you writing out your will? - Naff off, Stamp. 303 00:22:09,126 --> 00:22:12,251 Hey, no writing mucky words on the wall. 304 00:22:12,376 --> 00:22:14,459 Look, get lost, will you? 305 00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,959 Bet you're reading a mucky book. 306 00:22:18,084 --> 00:22:21,334 Bet you are, reading a mucky book. 307 00:22:21,459 --> 00:22:24,959 "His hand caressed her silken knee." 308 00:22:26,709 --> 00:22:28,792 Haven't you any work to do, Stamp? 309 00:22:28,917 --> 00:22:31,126 Waiting to go into the toilet, Mr Shadrack. 310 00:22:31,251 --> 00:22:34,084 Some of you spend too much time down here. 311 00:22:34,209 --> 00:22:35,709 Far too much time. 312 00:22:35,834 --> 00:22:38,834 Better go up to the office. I've got to go out. 313 00:22:43,126 --> 00:22:44,792 Is that you, Mr Shadrack? 314 00:22:47,167 --> 00:22:48,917 Is that you, Mr Shadrack? 315 00:22:49,042 --> 00:22:51,709 Yes. There's someone waiting to come in there. 316 00:22:53,959 --> 00:22:58,084 I was wondering if I could have a word with you before you go out. 317 00:22:58,209 --> 00:22:59,251 Eh? 318 00:22:59,376 --> 00:23:02,209 I was wondering if I could have a word before you go out. 319 00:23:23,542 --> 00:23:27,042 Yes, I've been thinking it's about time we had a little talk. 320 00:23:27,167 --> 00:23:29,876 I haven't got time now, Fisher. See me at lunchtime. 321 00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:31,626 Very good, Mr Shadrack. 322 00:23:49,417 --> 00:23:51,709 Good morning, Mr Duxbury. 323 00:23:51,834 --> 00:23:54,334 It's Councillor Duxbury, Fisher. 324 00:23:54,459 --> 00:23:57,209 Councillor Duxbury, that's my title. 325 00:23:57,334 --> 00:24:00,292 You wouldn't call Lord Harewood "Mr," would you? 326 00:24:00,417 --> 00:24:03,251 Councillor. Now think on. 327 00:24:05,626 --> 00:24:08,584 - "It's Councillor Duxbury, Fisher." - "Aye." 328 00:24:08,709 --> 00:24:11,126 - "Councillor, that's my title." - Billy! 329 00:24:11,251 --> 00:24:12,626 - "Aye." - "Aye." 330 00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:15,167 - I'll see you round the corner. - Yeah. 331 00:24:17,709 --> 00:24:19,626 - Hello, darling. - Hello, pet. 332 00:24:22,542 --> 00:24:24,376 Where are you taking me for coffee? 333 00:24:24,501 --> 00:24:26,917 I have to go to the town planning office. 334 00:24:27,042 --> 00:24:30,167 - They're pulling all this down. - Oh. 335 00:24:30,292 --> 00:24:32,584 Sometimes I think you're avoiding me, Billy. 336 00:24:32,709 --> 00:24:34,792 - Why? - We are supposed to be engaged. 337 00:24:34,917 --> 00:24:38,334 - Of course we're engaged. - Have you told your mother and father? 338 00:24:38,459 --> 00:24:41,334 We'll announce it when you come for your tea tomorrow. 339 00:24:41,459 --> 00:24:42,459 All right. 340 00:24:42,584 --> 00:24:46,542 - It's a lovely ring, isn't it? - Mmm, it's lovely. 341 00:24:46,667 --> 00:24:50,001 You don't think it needs altering or anything? 342 00:24:50,126 --> 00:24:52,792 - No, no, it's just right. - Well, suit yourself. 343 00:24:52,917 --> 00:24:55,167 I must dash, darling. Bit of a hurry. 344 00:24:55,292 --> 00:24:57,376 - See you later. - Yes, bye, pet. 345 00:25:00,042 --> 00:25:03,417 - Well, where's that ring? - That's just it, Rita. 346 00:25:03,542 --> 00:25:05,959 I've been to the jeweller's and it's not ready. 347 00:25:06,084 --> 00:25:09,292 You'd better get it back quick, else there'll be trouble. 348 00:25:09,417 --> 00:25:11,001 - Hey, Rita. - Yeah? 349 00:25:11,126 --> 00:25:14,001 - Four cheeseburgers ready. - Four cheeseburgers, love. 350 00:25:14,126 --> 00:25:16,876 - Dream about me while I'm gone. - Sure thing, baby. 351 00:25:17,001 --> 00:25:18,917 - What's she on about? - The engagement ring. 352 00:25:19,042 --> 00:25:21,834 What engagement ring? I thought you were engaged to Barbara. 353 00:25:21,959 --> 00:25:23,917 That's just the point. I am. 354 00:25:24,042 --> 00:25:25,626 She had it first, Rita. 355 00:25:25,751 --> 00:25:28,667 I got it off her to give to Barbara. Now she wants it back. 356 00:25:28,792 --> 00:25:30,209 - Rita? - Yeah. 357 00:25:30,334 --> 00:25:32,542 I told her it was getting the stone fixed. 358 00:25:32,667 --> 00:25:36,084 - Be hell to pay if she don't get it. - I can't keep up with your sex life. 359 00:25:36,209 --> 00:25:39,459 You know what's going to happen? You're going to be up for bigamy. 360 00:25:39,584 --> 00:25:41,459 So when's it going to be ready, then? 361 00:25:41,584 --> 00:25:45,209 I'm very glad you asked me that cos when I called round at the shop 362 00:25:45,334 --> 00:25:47,501 the man told me it might take another week. 363 00:25:47,626 --> 00:25:51,126 - Oh, it might be another week. - They've got three people off ill. 364 00:25:51,251 --> 00:25:54,334 Off ill? Oh, they've got three people off ill. 365 00:25:54,459 --> 00:25:57,376 All having their legs off, I suppose! 366 00:25:57,501 --> 00:26:00,084 Well, either I get that ring back by this afternoon 367 00:26:00,209 --> 00:26:02,501 or I'm going round that jeweller's meself. 368 00:26:02,626 --> 00:26:04,084 - No need... - Another thing. 369 00:26:04,209 --> 00:26:07,751 I thought I was coming round for my tea to meet your rotten mother. 370 00:26:07,876 --> 00:26:10,251 I can't wait for you to meet Mum and Dad, Rita. 371 00:26:10,376 --> 00:26:13,167 Only we've been flooded out. All the pipes have burst. 372 00:26:13,292 --> 00:26:14,917 Flooded out, are you? 373 00:26:15,042 --> 00:26:18,001 I'm going to meet your mother, whether you like it or not. 374 00:26:18,126 --> 00:26:21,001 Either you get me that ring back by this afternoon 375 00:26:21,126 --> 00:26:23,376 or I'm coming round to see your rotten mother. 376 00:26:23,501 --> 00:26:27,209 And your rotten father. And your rotten grandmother. 377 00:26:27,334 --> 00:26:30,042 We're supposed to be engaged, if you did but know it! 378 00:26:34,376 --> 00:26:36,376 What are you gawping at? 379 00:26:42,292 --> 00:26:44,084 Da-da da-da da da, oh! 380 00:26:56,042 --> 00:26:57,042 Thank you. 381 00:26:57,167 --> 00:26:59,126 "When I started out as a councillor, 382 00:26:59,251 --> 00:27:02,084 "I had public conveniences, I had them to look after." 383 00:27:02,209 --> 00:27:04,084 "Nowt else for a young councillor." 384 00:27:04,209 --> 00:27:06,292 "All this were fields when I were a lad." 385 00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,834 "I had nowt but one clog on me feet in them days." 386 00:27:08,959 --> 00:27:10,626 All right? 387 00:27:10,751 --> 00:27:13,084 "I'll tell you what, the workers nowadays, 388 00:27:13,209 --> 00:27:15,959 "you give them tuppence a week, they're not content." 389 00:27:16,084 --> 00:27:19,042 - "They don't know they're born." - "They're not content." 390 00:27:19,167 --> 00:27:21,042 "They couldn't come it with me. 391 00:27:21,167 --> 00:27:23,792 "There's always been an Olroyd at Olroyd Mill 392 00:27:23,917 --> 00:27:25,626 "and there always will be." 393 00:27:25,751 --> 00:27:28,001 "Young lads come down with their college ways 394 00:27:28,126 --> 00:27:29,542 "and they want none of it." 395 00:27:29,667 --> 00:27:31,042 - "You're not wrong." - Hey. 396 00:27:31,167 --> 00:27:33,626 - I say, is that that bird? - What bird? 397 00:27:33,751 --> 00:27:36,584 That bird that wanted you to go to France with her. 398 00:27:36,709 --> 00:27:39,251 - Do you mean Liz? - Yes, where's she been this time? 399 00:27:39,376 --> 00:27:41,084 She goes where she feels like. 400 00:27:41,209 --> 00:27:44,209 - She's crazy. She just enjoys herself. - What does she do? 401 00:27:44,334 --> 00:27:47,292 Waitress, typist. She worked at Butlin's last year. 402 00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:50,917 She works till she's fed up. Then she goes somewhere else. 403 00:28:52,126 --> 00:28:53,626 Hello. 404 00:28:53,751 --> 00:28:55,084 I'm fine. 405 00:28:55,751 --> 00:28:57,209 Doncaster! 406 00:28:58,542 --> 00:29:00,792 Doncaster! Oh, God, what for? 407 00:29:01,626 --> 00:29:02,626 Hey! 408 00:29:06,417 --> 00:29:08,667 Can I what? 409 00:29:08,792 --> 00:29:11,334 - Can I help you out? - Yes! 410 00:29:11,459 --> 00:29:14,209 - Sure. I'm skint. - In the classics! 411 00:29:14,334 --> 00:29:15,626 - Classics? - Yes! 412 00:29:15,751 --> 00:29:17,667 - Go on! - All right? 413 00:29:17,792 --> 00:29:19,459 - See you later. - Bye. 414 00:29:52,376 --> 00:29:55,292 Quiet, ladies! Please! Quiet! 415 00:29:55,417 --> 00:29:58,709 - Ladies and gentlemen... 416 00:29:58,834 --> 00:30:00,876 It gives me great pleasure, 417 00:30:01,001 --> 00:30:03,501 on behalf of City Foods Limited, 418 00:30:03,626 --> 00:30:06,459 to invite Danny 419 00:30:06,584 --> 00:30:09,959 to ceremoniously open this store. 420 00:30:10,084 --> 00:30:12,292 Danny Boon! 421 00:30:15,751 --> 00:30:17,376 It's all happening. 422 00:30:19,126 --> 00:30:21,709 You've got a lot of relatives here this morning. 423 00:30:21,834 --> 00:30:24,792 Is that your auntie? Oh, no, it's my auntie! 424 00:30:24,917 --> 00:30:28,792 - Hello, darling. Still slimming? - Yes, I am an' all. 425 00:30:28,917 --> 00:30:30,667 It's all happening. 426 00:30:32,292 --> 00:30:34,542 No, thank you. I'm trying to give them up. 427 00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:38,084 Oh, of course! It's to cut the ribbon with, isn't it? 428 00:30:39,001 --> 00:30:41,001 Just a minute, before you take any more. 429 00:30:41,126 --> 00:30:43,292 Could I have a pretty girl from the audience 430 00:30:43,417 --> 00:30:46,042 to come up and help me cut the tape, any pretty girl? 431 00:30:46,167 --> 00:30:49,084 Oh, we have got a lot to choose from, haven't we? 432 00:30:49,209 --> 00:30:51,334 What about you, darling? You in the brown. 433 00:30:51,459 --> 00:30:53,334 Would you mind coming up here? 434 00:30:53,459 --> 00:30:56,376 There's a good girl. A round of applause. 435 00:30:56,501 --> 00:30:58,876 Very sporting girl. That's it. 436 00:30:59,001 --> 00:31:01,584 What about a kiss to start us off, eh? 437 00:31:01,709 --> 00:31:04,334 - Ooh! - It's all happened. 438 00:31:04,459 --> 00:31:06,126 That's it. Smile at the camera. 439 00:31:06,251 --> 00:31:07,626 Ready, girls? 440 00:31:27,209 --> 00:31:30,084 Go on, Danny! Give us an autograph! 441 00:31:30,209 --> 00:31:31,792 Please! 442 00:31:47,251 --> 00:31:49,501 He's dozed off. 443 00:31:49,626 --> 00:31:51,084 - Hey. - What? 444 00:31:51,209 --> 00:31:53,709 - Got those things for you. - What things? 445 00:31:53,834 --> 00:31:56,667 Passion pills. What I said I'd get for you. 446 00:31:56,792 --> 00:32:00,209 Hey, let's have a look. Where did you get 'em? 447 00:32:00,334 --> 00:32:03,209 This mate of mine fetched them back from Singapore. 448 00:32:03,334 --> 00:32:05,126 I bet they're bloody aspirins. 449 00:32:05,251 --> 00:32:07,501 Steady on! You'll get the screaming abdabs. 450 00:32:07,626 --> 00:32:11,001 One of these, two 2/9s at the Regal, a bag of chips and you're away! 451 00:32:13,126 --> 00:32:15,376 Good afternoon, sir. 452 00:32:15,501 --> 00:32:19,751 - Isn't it time you lads packed up? - Yes, we're just off, Councillor. 453 00:32:19,876 --> 00:32:21,792 Ta-ra, Billy. 454 00:32:21,917 --> 00:32:24,876 I'm just waiting to see Mr Shadrack, Councillor. 455 00:32:25,001 --> 00:32:27,876 Well, you might give the floor a bit of a wipe-up. 456 00:32:39,751 --> 00:32:42,501 ""Idle Jack" or "Broad Acres", 457 00:32:42,626 --> 00:32:46,209 'a novel by William Fisher, chapter one. 458 00:32:46,334 --> 00:32:48,584 'Ned Leather nervously fingered his cap 459 00:32:48,709 --> 00:32:52,042 'as he faced the portly owner of Olroyd's Mill. 460 00:32:52,167 --> 00:32:53,584 ""Sorry, lad. 461 00:32:55,001 --> 00:32:56,292 ""No work... 462 00:32:57,584 --> 00:32:59,792 ""today," 463 00:32:59,917 --> 00:33:01,501 'he said. 464 00:33:03,167 --> 00:33:06,001 ""Sorry, lad. No work today, " he said.' 465 00:33:11,376 --> 00:33:13,126 "Idle Jack," a novel by... 466 00:33:14,459 --> 00:33:16,751 Bill... Fisher. 467 00:33:19,126 --> 00:33:22,167 'No. A novel by William Fisher. 468 00:33:22,292 --> 00:33:24,001 'William L Fisher. 469 00:33:24,126 --> 00:33:26,376 William DL Fisher. 470 00:33:26,501 --> 00:33:29,001 William D Lashwood Fisher. 471 00:33:30,084 --> 00:33:33,709 'William Fingal O'Flaherty Wills Fisher, 472 00:33:33,834 --> 00:33:36,459 'a critical biography.' 473 00:33:59,709 --> 00:34:02,417 Um, first of all, Mr Shadrack, 474 00:34:02,542 --> 00:34:07,667 I'd like to thank you for what has been a very happy stay with the firm. 475 00:34:07,792 --> 00:34:10,959 But I really do feel that I must seize this... 476 00:34:11,084 --> 00:34:14,751 this new opportunity with both hands. 477 00:34:14,876 --> 00:34:17,792 I'm sure you'll appreciate my position. 478 00:34:17,917 --> 00:34:19,709 Of course, need I say, 479 00:34:19,834 --> 00:34:22,667 the offer of a partnership with yourself and Mr Duxbury 480 00:34:22,792 --> 00:34:26,209 is an extremely attractive incentive for me, 481 00:34:26,334 --> 00:34:31,042 but, unfortunately, my ambitions lie in other fields. 482 00:34:32,709 --> 00:34:36,167 Of course, London's a big place. 483 00:34:36,292 --> 00:34:38,459 It's a very big place, Mr Shadrack. 484 00:34:38,584 --> 00:34:41,001 A man could lose himself in London. 485 00:34:41,126 --> 00:34:42,542 Lose himself. 486 00:34:44,167 --> 00:34:46,251 Lose himself. 487 00:34:46,959 --> 00:34:51,709 Lo-oo-oo-se himself. 488 00:34:52,834 --> 00:34:56,709 Lose himself in London! 489 00:34:56,834 --> 00:34:59,667 Him-ah-self-ah! 490 00:34:59,792 --> 00:35:02,751 Him-ah-self-ah! 491 00:35:02,876 --> 00:35:05,876 Maaaaaaaaaaa. 492 00:35:06,751 --> 00:35:12,417 Never in the field of human conflict 493 00:35:12,542 --> 00:35:15,376 has so much... 494 00:35:20,459 --> 00:35:22,876 One, two, three, four, testing. 495 00:35:25,001 --> 00:35:28,584 Emmanuel Shadrack, this is your life. 496 00:35:30,417 --> 00:35:35,501 This is your life, Mr Shadrack. 497 00:35:35,626 --> 00:35:37,417 Your life, 498 00:35:37,542 --> 00:35:42,001 Mi-ii-is-ter Sha-a-a-ad-rack. 499 00:35:42,126 --> 00:35:46,792 Your life, Shaddy-addy-addy-addy-adrack! 500 00:35:46,917 --> 00:35:48,084 Your life! 501 00:35:48,209 --> 00:35:50,209 Oi, Shadders! 502 00:36:06,876 --> 00:36:10,459 Hope my singing didn't put you off. 503 00:36:27,459 --> 00:36:31,584 By the time we're burying you, you'll be going off in one of these. 504 00:36:31,709 --> 00:36:33,959 Plastic. Did you know that? 505 00:36:34,084 --> 00:36:37,667 Yes, you see, people don't realise. It's all clean lines nowadays. 506 00:36:37,792 --> 00:36:41,584 All these frills and fancies are going out. It's all old. 507 00:36:41,709 --> 00:36:45,126 Same as I tell Councillor Duxbury. You've got to move with the times. 508 00:36:45,251 --> 00:36:48,042 No use living in one style and dying in another, is it? 509 00:36:48,167 --> 00:36:50,042 Quite. 510 00:36:50,167 --> 00:36:51,959 Sit down. Make yourself at home. 511 00:36:52,084 --> 00:36:54,334 Oh, thank you. 512 00:36:58,376 --> 00:37:01,126 So you're thinking of leaving us, is that it? 513 00:37:01,251 --> 00:37:04,209 Well, I was thinking, since this new opportunity... 514 00:37:04,334 --> 00:37:08,042 "I have succeeded in obtaining a post with Mr Danny Boon." 515 00:37:08,167 --> 00:37:10,917 - That's the comic, isn't it? - Comedian, yes. 516 00:37:11,709 --> 00:37:15,667 Very, very clever fellow. So that's your ambition? Scriptwriting? 517 00:37:15,792 --> 00:37:17,709 Yes, it always has been. 518 00:37:17,834 --> 00:37:20,959 Do you get a salary each week or do you get paid by the joke? 519 00:37:21,084 --> 00:37:24,876 Ah, well, it's very, very difficult to say, 520 00:37:25,001 --> 00:37:26,959 really. 521 00:37:29,042 --> 00:37:32,584 Well, it's very, very unprofessional, a letter like this. 522 00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:34,459 It is? 523 00:37:34,584 --> 00:37:37,584 Nobody wants to stand in your way. Don't think that. 524 00:37:37,709 --> 00:37:41,792 But you might have gone about it in a more satisfactory manner. 525 00:37:41,917 --> 00:37:46,126 We were hoping you'd try and get one or two things cleared up 526 00:37:46,251 --> 00:37:49,376 - before you took a step like this. - Oh, yes, I realise... 527 00:37:49,501 --> 00:37:52,834 There's those calendars to be explained, for one thing. 528 00:37:52,959 --> 00:37:56,042 - What calendars? - I think you know what calendars. 529 00:37:56,167 --> 00:37:57,876 Oh! Oh, no. 530 00:37:58,001 --> 00:38:00,209 There's been a bit of a misunderstanding. 531 00:38:00,334 --> 00:38:02,834 No, no, it wasn't a misunderstanding, Fisher. 532 00:38:02,959 --> 00:38:05,834 Two or three hundred calendars didn't get posted, 533 00:38:05,959 --> 00:38:07,542 to my knowledge. 534 00:38:07,667 --> 00:38:10,084 We've got to get this cleared up, you see. 535 00:38:10,209 --> 00:38:12,626 We've got to get it cleared up and implemented. 536 00:38:13,834 --> 00:38:16,834 - If it's a question of payment... - Now, wait a minute. 537 00:38:16,959 --> 00:38:20,751 It's not as easy as that, you see. There's the good will to consider. 538 00:38:20,876 --> 00:38:23,042 Those calendars were for good will. 539 00:38:23,167 --> 00:38:25,626 We can't understand why you didn't send them out. 540 00:38:25,751 --> 00:38:28,542 For God's sake, why don't you tell the boring little man 541 00:38:28,667 --> 00:38:30,251 where to stick his job? 542 00:38:30,376 --> 00:38:33,959 We don't buy calendars just so you can chuck them on the fire. 543 00:38:34,084 --> 00:38:36,751 That's not what we're in business for. 544 00:38:36,876 --> 00:38:38,792 Then there's this other matter. 545 00:38:40,626 --> 00:38:41,959 Er, what other matter? 546 00:38:44,334 --> 00:38:46,542 It's no use saying, "What other matter?" 547 00:38:47,334 --> 00:38:50,292 There's the matter of the postage money, isn't there? 548 00:38:50,417 --> 00:38:52,042 Just a minute. 549 00:38:57,917 --> 00:39:01,042 'Now, one of the first things we intend to do, Shadrack, 550 00:39:01,167 --> 00:39:03,459 'is nationalise the undertaking business.' 551 00:39:03,584 --> 00:39:04,917 Yes, Sir William. 552 00:39:05,042 --> 00:39:10,084 This means we are going to need experts in this field, men of vision. 553 00:39:10,209 --> 00:39:12,792 I wonder if you remember showing a certain clerk 554 00:39:12,917 --> 00:39:16,917 a revolutionary plastic coffin? 555 00:39:17,751 --> 00:39:18,751 Yes. 556 00:39:18,876 --> 00:39:21,501 I was the wretch who forgot to post the calendars. 557 00:39:24,667 --> 00:39:27,334 Yes, I can laugh now. 558 00:39:27,459 --> 00:39:28,834 Good afternoon. 559 00:39:28,959 --> 00:39:31,126 In connection with the late Mr Mathieson? 560 00:39:31,251 --> 00:39:33,959 - Would you wait in here? - Righty-o. Thank you. 561 00:39:34,792 --> 00:39:36,459 Thank you. 562 00:39:36,584 --> 00:39:38,751 I shan't keep you one moment. 563 00:39:41,417 --> 00:39:42,584 Thank you. 564 00:39:52,417 --> 00:39:55,292 There's his library books. We'll have them to take back. 565 00:39:55,417 --> 00:39:56,542 Yes. 566 00:40:10,167 --> 00:40:12,251 Yes, well, now, as I was saying, Fisher, 567 00:40:12,376 --> 00:40:14,876 there are discrepancies in the postage book. 568 00:40:15,001 --> 00:40:18,834 I've been trying to get some sense out of your figures here. 569 00:40:18,959 --> 00:40:22,001 A curious system of book-keeping you seem to have adopted. 570 00:40:22,126 --> 00:40:25,751 No, this is my own personal double-entry method. 571 00:40:25,876 --> 00:40:29,667 Only it's not quite up-to-date. I'm sorry for any inconvenience. 572 00:40:29,792 --> 00:40:33,334 Inconvenience? It's not a question of inconvenience. 573 00:40:33,459 --> 00:40:36,251 I have to tell you that, under the circumstances, 574 00:40:36,376 --> 00:40:39,376 there's no question of our accepting your resignation. 575 00:40:39,501 --> 00:40:41,917 We may have to take some legal action. 576 00:40:42,042 --> 00:40:44,001 I'll talk to you about it on Monday. 577 00:40:52,501 --> 00:40:54,501 Why, Fisher? 578 00:40:55,626 --> 00:40:56,792 Why? 579 00:41:06,584 --> 00:41:11,167 - Yes, now... - You've got a gloomy job! 580 00:41:11,292 --> 00:41:13,501 Now, have you got the deposit? 581 00:41:26,667 --> 00:41:30,376 So I went up to the third floor into the soft furnishings department. 582 00:41:30,501 --> 00:41:33,042 Oh, Billy, they've got some lovely materials. 583 00:41:33,167 --> 00:41:35,209 I saw some lovely stuff for the curtains. 584 00:41:35,334 --> 00:41:37,084 Honestly, pet, you'll love it. 585 00:41:37,209 --> 00:41:40,501 It's sort of, um... well, a turquoise, really. 586 00:41:40,626 --> 00:41:44,751 And it's got lovely little squiggles, sort of, well, like wine glasses. 587 00:41:44,876 --> 00:41:46,251 Oh, yes, very nice, hmm. 588 00:41:46,376 --> 00:41:50,167 The only trouble is, if we get that yellow carpet, it won't match. 589 00:41:50,292 --> 00:41:54,126 - Still, that's my department, pet. - Hmm. 590 00:41:54,251 --> 00:41:56,501 I don't know, darling. 591 00:41:56,626 --> 00:41:59,001 I still say this ring's too big. 592 00:41:59,126 --> 00:42:02,709 - Why won't you let me get it altered? - Oh, I don't think it's too big. 593 00:42:02,834 --> 00:42:05,084 Anyway, I want everyone to see it first. 594 00:42:05,209 --> 00:42:08,751 - Don't blame me if you lose it. - Oh, you do worry so, Billy. 595 00:42:08,876 --> 00:42:11,126 - That's why I love you. - Oh, darling. 596 00:42:11,251 --> 00:42:14,542 - You'll always love me, won't you? - Of course I will, pet. 597 00:42:14,667 --> 00:42:16,959 - Give me the ring, then. - No! 598 00:42:17,084 --> 00:42:20,084 You can have it back on Tuesday. Then it'll be there forever. 599 00:42:20,209 --> 00:42:22,126 - Forever and ever. - Go on, give it me. 600 00:42:22,251 --> 00:42:25,042 - No! - Give me the cowing ring before... 601 00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:26,167 Billy! 602 00:42:27,167 --> 00:42:29,792 I'm... I'm sorry, darling. 603 00:42:29,917 --> 00:42:32,251 I'm really not meself today. 604 00:42:34,001 --> 00:42:36,417 It's a good job I've got these to keep me going. 605 00:42:36,542 --> 00:42:38,917 - What are they? - Energy tablets. 606 00:42:39,042 --> 00:42:41,084 - Would you like a couple? - No, thank you. 607 00:42:41,209 --> 00:42:44,417 - Yes, they'll do you good. - Oh, well... 608 00:42:44,542 --> 00:42:47,709 - Will it taste all right? - Oh, it will taste fine. 609 00:42:48,876 --> 00:42:50,792 Just drink it up. 610 00:42:52,042 --> 00:42:54,209 Then we'll go for a walk, 611 00:42:54,334 --> 00:42:56,501 where it's quiet. 612 00:42:58,792 --> 00:43:01,251 Oh, Billy, it's beautiful. 613 00:43:01,376 --> 00:43:02,376 Oh! 614 00:43:04,251 --> 00:43:08,001 Ah, just look at her little feet. Aren't they lovely? 615 00:43:08,126 --> 00:43:09,584 Ah! 616 00:43:13,084 --> 00:43:15,001 Oh, listen to this. 617 00:43:15,126 --> 00:43:17,876 "With you, dearest Mother and darling Dad, 618 00:43:18,001 --> 00:43:20,084 "happy were the years we had. 619 00:43:20,209 --> 00:43:22,542 "And it is comfort in our pain 620 00:43:22,667 --> 00:43:25,126 "you are now together again." 621 00:43:25,251 --> 00:43:28,042 - Isn't that nice? - Charming. 622 00:43:28,167 --> 00:43:31,209 Ooh! Ooh, Billy, look! 623 00:43:31,334 --> 00:43:33,959 Oh, there's a whole family in there! 624 00:43:34,084 --> 00:43:36,667 - Ah, isn't it sweet? - Fabulous. 625 00:43:39,334 --> 00:43:41,542 Mmm! 626 00:43:41,667 --> 00:43:44,417 Ah, they're all dead. What a shame! 627 00:43:46,876 --> 00:43:48,501 - Darling? - Hmm? 628 00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:52,334 - How do you feel? - Ah, contented. 629 00:43:52,459 --> 00:43:54,501 You don't feel, you know, restless? 630 00:43:54,626 --> 00:43:56,417 - No. - No! 631 00:43:58,542 --> 00:44:01,042 - Barbara? - Hmm? 632 00:44:01,167 --> 00:44:05,959 Do you think it's wrong for people to have, you know, feelings? 633 00:44:06,084 --> 00:44:08,292 Not if they genuinely love each other. 634 00:44:08,417 --> 00:44:11,542 - Like we do? - Well, yes. 635 00:44:12,792 --> 00:44:15,501 Would you think it wrong of me to have... feelings? 636 00:44:15,626 --> 00:44:18,126 I think we ought to be married first. 637 00:44:19,626 --> 00:44:23,001 - I love you, darling. - I love you, pet. 638 00:44:23,126 --> 00:44:25,542 - Do you, really and truly? - Of course I do! 639 00:44:25,667 --> 00:44:28,001 Oh, sticky fingers. 640 00:44:30,834 --> 00:44:34,834 - Are you glad to be getting married? - I think about it every minute. 641 00:44:35,584 --> 00:44:36,584 Darling. 642 00:44:37,792 --> 00:44:39,251 Billy! 643 00:44:41,376 --> 00:44:44,542 Oh, promise me you'll never fall in love with anybody else. 644 00:44:44,667 --> 00:44:46,084 Of course not, pet. 645 00:44:46,209 --> 00:44:48,834 Now, come on. Let's talk about our cottage. 646 00:44:52,251 --> 00:44:56,001 Yes, well... we'll have a lovely cottage down in Devon. 647 00:44:56,126 --> 00:44:57,292 Devon, yes. 648 00:44:57,417 --> 00:45:00,626 We'll have a lovely garden with roses and daffodils. 649 00:45:00,751 --> 00:45:03,959 And a lovely lawn with a little swing for little Billy and... 650 00:45:04,084 --> 00:45:05,501 Little Barbara. 651 00:45:05,626 --> 00:45:07,042 - To play on. - Mm-hmm. 652 00:45:07,167 --> 00:45:10,251 We'll have our meals down by the lily pond in the summer. 653 00:45:10,376 --> 00:45:13,542 Oh. Oh, do you think a lily pond's safe? 654 00:45:13,667 --> 00:45:16,501 What if the kiddies wandered too near and fell in? 655 00:45:16,626 --> 00:45:18,876 We'll build a wall around it. 656 00:45:19,001 --> 00:45:21,876 Well, I mean, we needn't have a pond at all. 657 00:45:22,001 --> 00:45:23,584 We could have an old well. 658 00:45:23,709 --> 00:45:26,667 Yes, an old brick well where we draw the water. 659 00:45:26,792 --> 00:45:29,042 We could make it our wishing well. 660 00:45:29,167 --> 00:45:31,334 And we could have... 661 00:45:31,459 --> 00:45:33,792 a rustic bridge... 662 00:45:33,917 --> 00:45:36,042 with a stream flowing beneath it, 663 00:45:36,167 --> 00:45:39,251 not too deep because of the children. 664 00:45:39,376 --> 00:45:42,376 And we could have gnomes and mushrooms. 665 00:45:57,042 --> 00:46:00,126 Billy! Are you feeling all right? 666 00:46:00,251 --> 00:46:01,667 Of course, darling. Why? 667 00:46:01,792 --> 00:46:04,209 Well, look where your hand is. 668 00:46:04,334 --> 00:46:06,334 Oh. 669 00:46:06,459 --> 00:46:08,167 Don't you want me to touch you? 670 00:46:08,292 --> 00:46:11,376 Well, it... seems indecent somehow. 671 00:46:15,042 --> 00:46:17,084 You know you're making me ill, don't you? 672 00:46:17,209 --> 00:46:20,834 Oh, poor pet. Why am I making you ill? 673 00:46:20,959 --> 00:46:22,751 Surely you've heard of, 674 00:46:22,876 --> 00:46:24,876 well, of repressions. 675 00:46:26,376 --> 00:46:28,876 The nervous reactions of a man who's not... 676 00:46:29,959 --> 00:46:33,376 I know what you mean, pet, but we must be patient. 677 00:46:33,501 --> 00:46:36,376 - We'd only regret it. - Just have one more energy tablet. 678 00:46:36,501 --> 00:46:38,667 No, thank you. I'm going to have an orange. 679 00:46:38,792 --> 00:46:41,709 "I'm going to have..." You and your bloody oranges! 680 00:46:47,501 --> 00:46:49,876 I'm sorry, darling. 681 00:46:50,001 --> 00:46:52,126 I've had a terrible morning. 682 00:46:57,334 --> 00:46:59,251 - I've come about a ring. - Oh, yes. 683 00:46:59,376 --> 00:47:02,042 Engagement ring, brought in for alterations. 684 00:47:02,167 --> 00:47:04,751 - What name is it, madam? - It should be under Fisher. 685 00:47:04,876 --> 00:47:07,834 - Fisher. Just a moment. - Oh, my name is Corrigan. 686 00:47:07,959 --> 00:47:11,959 Corrigan. Just a moment. Fisher, Corrigan. Fisher, Corrigan. 687 00:47:12,084 --> 00:47:14,542 - Got a Farmer. - No, no, Fisher, Fisher. 688 00:47:14,667 --> 00:47:16,251 - Hey, what was that? - Where? 689 00:47:16,376 --> 00:47:18,751 - At the bottom. - That's Cor... Corcoran. 690 00:47:18,876 --> 00:47:21,626 Anyway, that's a cuckoo clock. When did it come in? 691 00:47:21,751 --> 00:47:23,501 On Wednesday, I think. So he said. 692 00:47:24,251 --> 00:47:26,834 - Er, darling. - Mmm? 693 00:47:26,959 --> 00:47:28,876 Are you still coming for tea tomorrow? 694 00:47:29,001 --> 00:47:31,167 Oh, of course. 695 00:47:31,292 --> 00:47:33,126 Oh, well, if you are, 696 00:47:33,251 --> 00:47:36,751 there are some things we've got to get cleared up and implemented. 697 00:47:36,876 --> 00:47:38,834 What things? 698 00:47:38,959 --> 00:47:42,292 You know I've got a fairly vivid imagination, don't you, darling? 699 00:47:42,417 --> 00:47:45,917 Well, you have to have if you're going to be a scriptwriter. 700 00:47:46,042 --> 00:47:48,584 Quite. Well, being a scriptwriter, 701 00:47:48,709 --> 00:47:50,917 I'm perhaps at times a bit inclined 702 00:47:51,042 --> 00:47:54,042 to let my imagination run away with me, 703 00:47:54,167 --> 00:47:55,584 as you know. 704 00:47:55,709 --> 00:47:58,501 Well, you don't mean you've been telling me lies? 705 00:47:58,626 --> 00:48:02,792 Well, not lies, exactly. But I suppose I've been, you know, 706 00:48:02,917 --> 00:48:06,084 exaggerating some things a bit, being a scriptwriter. 707 00:48:06,209 --> 00:48:08,917 For instance, there's that business about me father, 708 00:48:09,042 --> 00:48:11,626 him getting danger money on a petrol tanker. 709 00:48:11,751 --> 00:48:15,334 - He's not on a petrol tanker? - He wasn't even in the navy. 710 00:48:15,459 --> 00:48:18,542 - What was he, then? - He was a conscientious object... 711 00:48:18,667 --> 00:48:22,376 No, he wasn't anything. He wasn't fit. He has trouble with his knee. 712 00:48:23,292 --> 00:48:24,292 Oh. 713 00:48:25,126 --> 00:48:28,001 Well, how many other lies have you been telling me? 714 00:48:28,126 --> 00:48:31,126 - Er, me sister. - So you haven't got a sister? 715 00:48:31,251 --> 00:48:33,876 Well, I did have, but she's dead. 716 00:48:34,001 --> 00:48:36,251 If you're still coming for your tea tomorrow, 717 00:48:36,376 --> 00:48:38,751 they never talk about her. 718 00:48:40,792 --> 00:48:42,834 I'm... 719 00:48:42,959 --> 00:48:45,417 just not good enough for you, you know, Barbara. 720 00:48:46,709 --> 00:48:49,334 If you want to give me that engagement ring back, 721 00:48:49,459 --> 00:48:51,292 I'll understand. 722 00:48:53,709 --> 00:48:55,876 I forgive you, pet. 723 00:48:56,001 --> 00:48:57,959 But promise me one thing. 724 00:48:58,084 --> 00:48:59,709 That I'll never lie to you again? 725 00:48:59,834 --> 00:49:02,626 I'll never lie to you again. Never. I promise. 726 00:49:07,751 --> 00:49:09,626 Billy, are we going dancing tonight? 727 00:49:10,626 --> 00:49:14,167 Billy, are we going dancing tonight, to the Roxy? 728 00:49:14,292 --> 00:49:16,709 Don't say anything. There's Arthur's mother. 729 00:49:18,042 --> 00:49:19,417 Good afternoon. 730 00:49:19,542 --> 00:49:21,584 Good afternoon, Mrs Crabtree. 731 00:49:21,709 --> 00:49:23,584 I don't think you've met my sister. 732 00:49:23,709 --> 00:49:25,209 Sheila, Mrs Crabtree. 733 00:49:25,334 --> 00:49:27,667 Don't you try and be clever with me, young man. 734 00:49:27,792 --> 00:49:29,917 I happen to know Barbara very well indeed! 735 00:49:32,667 --> 00:49:34,042 Well, 736 00:49:34,167 --> 00:49:36,584 I'm catching a bus, actually. 737 00:49:39,126 --> 00:49:40,876 But, Billy! 738 00:49:43,084 --> 00:49:44,834 I should watch him. 739 00:49:46,876 --> 00:49:49,917 'There's Jane Wildeblood just coming up to the last fence. 740 00:49:50,917 --> 00:49:55,209 'I'm afraid she's down there. She was completely unseated.' 741 00:49:55,334 --> 00:49:58,251 They build them fences too high. 742 00:49:58,376 --> 00:49:59,834 They tumble down. 743 00:49:59,959 --> 00:50:04,042 'Of course, she will be penalised, and that does spoil her chances...' 744 00:50:04,167 --> 00:50:06,001 Is that our Billy? 745 00:50:06,126 --> 00:50:08,792 His old raincoat's been in the bathroom all morning. 746 00:50:08,917 --> 00:50:12,501 And if it isn't our Billy, where's his old raincoat been, then? 747 00:50:12,626 --> 00:50:15,292 Don't you be so cheeky! And what time do you call this? 748 00:50:16,501 --> 00:50:20,167 27 minutes, 13 seconds past two. 749 00:50:20,292 --> 00:50:23,251 - I've had a very eventful morning. - And don't pick! 750 00:50:23,376 --> 00:50:25,626 You seem to think I've nothing to do but cook. 751 00:50:25,751 --> 00:50:28,751 Well, you get no dinner. I've finished cooking for one day. 752 00:50:30,042 --> 00:50:34,001 You ought to start coming home instead of gadding about town. 753 00:50:34,126 --> 00:50:37,084 - Good afternoon, Father. - I've not sat down all morning. 754 00:50:37,209 --> 00:50:38,709 If I'm not sick... 755 00:50:38,834 --> 00:50:41,001 I'm doing this for you. Do you realise that? 756 00:50:41,126 --> 00:50:44,126 You've got Barbara coming for tea but you won't do anything. 757 00:50:44,251 --> 00:50:46,542 You've no consideration. 758 00:50:46,667 --> 00:50:48,876 She sounds such a nice girl, this Barbara. 759 00:50:49,001 --> 00:50:50,667 Go and answer that bell. 760 00:50:50,792 --> 00:50:54,792 You're idle and scruffy and you have no manners. 761 00:50:54,917 --> 00:50:56,292 What are manners? 762 00:50:56,417 --> 00:50:58,959 If that's what they learnt him at grammar school, 763 00:50:59,084 --> 00:51:00,876 thank God I'm bloody ignorant. 764 00:51:01,001 --> 00:51:03,626 - Ah, confession! - Don't you be so cheeky! 765 00:51:08,292 --> 00:51:11,542 - You! - Hello, Rita. Just a minute. 766 00:51:12,542 --> 00:51:14,792 - Who is it, Billy? - Just a minute. 767 00:51:16,709 --> 00:51:19,209 Speak all you think and all you speak, speak. 768 00:51:20,167 --> 00:51:23,042 You rotten, lying, cross-eyed git! You're nothing else! 769 00:51:23,167 --> 00:51:26,959 Hello, Rita. Sorry I can't ask you in. We're having our chimney swept. 770 00:51:27,084 --> 00:51:29,334 They'll be having you swept before I finish. 771 00:51:29,459 --> 00:51:32,626 It might interest you to know I have been down to that jeweller's 772 00:51:32,751 --> 00:51:35,376 and they have never heard of you or that flaming ring. 773 00:51:35,501 --> 00:51:38,709 - You must've gone to the wrong shop. - I went to the right shop. 774 00:51:38,834 --> 00:51:41,292 - Henderson's in Bridge Street. - That's funny. 775 00:51:41,417 --> 00:51:42,917 Did you see Mr McMichael? 776 00:51:43,042 --> 00:51:45,001 I saw the fellow behind the counter! 777 00:51:45,126 --> 00:51:47,751 You should have asked Mr McMichael in the workshop. 778 00:51:47,876 --> 00:51:50,167 He's my godfather. He's doing it privately. 779 00:51:51,209 --> 00:51:52,959 You are rotten to me, Billy. 780 00:51:53,084 --> 00:51:55,834 It's true. Ask me dad if you don't believe me. 781 00:51:57,542 --> 00:52:00,167 That's me Uncle Ernest, my dear old Uncle Ernest. 782 00:52:00,292 --> 00:52:02,834 Oh, I don't know where I am with you, Billy. 783 00:52:02,959 --> 00:52:05,084 We're supposed to be engaged! 784 00:52:05,209 --> 00:52:08,001 - You said you didn't want to marry me. - I did not! 785 00:52:08,126 --> 00:52:11,959 I said I wasn't going to live in a rotten cottage in rotten Devon. 786 00:52:12,084 --> 00:52:13,751 I want that ring back tonight! 787 00:52:13,876 --> 00:52:17,376 That's just it. I've got to stay in to play Monopoly with Uncle Ernest. 788 00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:19,542 - It's his birthday. - Oh, Monopoly! 789 00:52:19,667 --> 00:52:23,334 I'll tell you what you're doing tonight. You're taking me to the Roxy. 790 00:52:23,459 --> 00:52:26,501 I'll see you outside at seven. And don't you be late, right? 791 00:52:28,292 --> 00:52:30,917 Listen, Barbara... I mean, Rita! 792 00:52:31,042 --> 00:52:32,126 Oh, hell. 793 00:52:33,584 --> 00:52:35,001 - Afternoon. - Afternoon. 794 00:52:42,542 --> 00:52:45,667 Hey, come here, you. Who's she supposed to be? 795 00:52:45,792 --> 00:52:48,751 - Oh, just a friend. - Is that the one that's coming to tea? 796 00:52:48,876 --> 00:52:51,501 - No, that's Barbara. - Well, who's this one, then? 797 00:52:51,626 --> 00:52:53,917 Just a friend. She was just passing. 798 00:52:54,042 --> 00:52:57,751 She's gone to see her Uncle Ernest. He lives up on that new estate. 799 00:52:57,876 --> 00:53:00,084 They're all new houses up there. 800 00:53:00,209 --> 00:53:04,292 - I thought you were getting engaged. - Some has two bedrooms... 801 00:53:04,417 --> 00:53:07,667 You can't carry on messing about with one lass after another. 802 00:53:07,792 --> 00:53:11,542 - I realise that, Dad. I said... - Why couldn't you wait for a bit? 803 00:53:11,667 --> 00:53:14,626 Some has bathrooms upstairs and some has them downstairs. 804 00:53:14,751 --> 00:53:16,584 I don't believe in interfering, 805 00:53:16,709 --> 00:53:20,167 but either bloody get engaged or don't bloody bother. 806 00:53:20,292 --> 00:53:22,751 But don't come to me and say I tried to stop you. 807 00:53:22,876 --> 00:53:26,001 It's not that simple, Dad. I haven't really decided yet. 808 00:53:26,126 --> 00:53:28,459 You couldn't do worse than me and your mother. 809 00:53:28,584 --> 00:53:31,751 When we started, we hadn't two ha'pennies to rub together. 810 00:53:31,876 --> 00:53:34,667 I told her, "You don't get married till you're 21." 811 00:53:34,792 --> 00:53:37,709 - Well, we had to manage. - It's not a question of managing. 812 00:53:37,834 --> 00:53:39,376 I haven't made me mind up yet. 813 00:53:39,501 --> 00:53:42,584 You want to make your mind up before she makes it up for you. 814 00:53:42,709 --> 00:53:46,001 - If I go to London... - When your mum was 21, I said, 815 00:53:46,126 --> 00:53:50,084 - "You can do as you like..." - Just a minute, Grandma. 816 00:53:50,209 --> 00:53:51,917 - Just a minute! - Then I said... 817 00:53:52,042 --> 00:53:54,126 For God's sake, belt up! 818 00:53:54,251 --> 00:53:56,251 You, what? 819 00:53:56,376 --> 00:53:58,792 - What did you say? - I merely remarked... 820 00:53:58,917 --> 00:54:02,542 Talk properly when you talk to me! What did you say to your grandmother? 821 00:54:02,667 --> 00:54:04,501 Ignorant, that's what you are! 822 00:54:04,626 --> 00:54:07,209 Hey, look out, Geoffrey. That's shirt's clean. 823 00:54:07,334 --> 00:54:11,417 - I'll clean-shirt him in a minute! - Leave him alone. 824 00:54:11,542 --> 00:54:14,209 Him and his fountain pens and bloody suede shoes. 825 00:54:14,334 --> 00:54:17,001 If he wants to go to London, he can bloody well go! 826 00:54:17,126 --> 00:54:19,292 - I've finished with him. - Oh, but he's not. 827 00:54:19,417 --> 00:54:23,376 - He can pack his things and get going! - I'm telling you, he's not. 828 00:54:23,501 --> 00:54:26,459 - I can explain all this. - Ever since you started work. 829 00:54:26,584 --> 00:54:29,792 Grumbling. If it isn't his boiled egg, it's something else. 830 00:54:29,917 --> 00:54:32,167 So what do you do? Buy him special corn flakes. 831 00:54:32,292 --> 00:54:33,709 - What if I do? - And why? 832 00:54:33,834 --> 00:54:36,959 Because there's a plastic submarine in the packet! 833 00:54:37,084 --> 00:54:38,626 Now, you just listen to me. 834 00:54:38,751 --> 00:54:41,376 - He's not old enough to go to London. - Not old enough? 835 00:54:41,501 --> 00:54:43,917 He's old enough to get into the bloody army. 836 00:54:44,042 --> 00:54:47,584 - You want to get into the bloody army! - Oh, for heaven's sake! 837 00:54:47,709 --> 00:54:49,917 Hold your noise, Geoffrey. 838 00:54:50,042 --> 00:54:52,667 I can't stand much more. I've been cooking in here... 839 00:54:52,792 --> 00:54:55,917 Every day it's the same. It gets on my nerves. 840 00:54:56,042 --> 00:54:57,709 Mam! 841 00:54:59,334 --> 00:55:01,667 Mam, it's Gran. 842 00:55:01,792 --> 00:55:03,876 I think she's had another of her do's. 843 00:55:04,001 --> 00:55:05,751 Now look what you've done! 844 00:55:06,876 --> 00:55:08,334 Get her tablets, Geoffrey. 845 00:55:08,459 --> 00:55:11,084 Get them tablets out of the dressing table drawer. 846 00:55:11,209 --> 00:55:14,334 - Go on, go on, move! - She was all right a minute ago. 847 00:55:17,292 --> 00:55:20,292 We must get her onto the couch. She'll be all right there. 848 00:55:20,417 --> 00:55:22,917 You'll be all right, love. You'll be all right. 849 00:55:33,667 --> 00:55:37,376 Oh, come on, get out of it. I can't wait all day for you. 850 00:55:42,626 --> 00:55:46,167 Come on, Geoffrey! Haven't you found them yet? 851 00:55:46,292 --> 00:55:51,001 Oh, come on, Geoffrey! Hurry up! 852 00:56:42,501 --> 00:56:45,459 - Ee, you weigh a ton. - Feathers. 853 00:56:45,584 --> 00:56:48,751 She wants to burn some feathers, never mind pills. 854 00:56:48,876 --> 00:56:52,167 Here you are, now. That's it. Put it in your mouth. 855 00:56:52,292 --> 00:56:54,584 Come on. Have a sip. 856 00:56:54,709 --> 00:56:57,584 - Is she all right? - As all right as she'll ever be. 857 00:56:57,709 --> 00:56:59,376 Oh... Well, I'll be off, then. 858 00:57:00,542 --> 00:57:02,084 That's it. 859 00:57:02,209 --> 00:57:05,251 - Where's he going? - We've more to worry about than him. 860 00:57:05,376 --> 00:57:07,584 Now, are you all right, love? 861 00:57:43,751 --> 00:57:46,001 We have fought. 862 00:57:46,126 --> 00:57:48,334 We have fought long and hard. 863 00:57:49,417 --> 00:57:52,501 Now at last, our struggle has been rewarded. 864 00:57:53,376 --> 00:57:55,626 Victory is within our grasp. 865 00:57:55,751 --> 00:57:59,459 I offer you nothing but liberty, fraternity and equality. 866 00:58:05,001 --> 00:58:06,376 Come on, lads! 867 00:58:09,167 --> 00:58:11,084 'We will rebuild. 868 00:58:12,501 --> 00:58:15,251 'Cannon and mortar have devastated 869 00:58:15,376 --> 00:58:18,042 'our drab and shoddy streets.' 870 00:58:19,292 --> 00:58:23,292 'But this I pledge. 871 00:58:23,417 --> 00:58:25,667 'Battalions of craftsmen 872 00:58:25,792 --> 00:58:28,876 'will change the face of our cities.' 873 00:58:29,959 --> 00:58:32,751 We will build towers. 874 00:58:32,876 --> 00:58:35,001 Towers! 875 00:58:37,501 --> 00:58:38,667 No less. 876 00:58:47,834 --> 00:58:51,334 Fisher! Fisher! Fisher! 877 00:59:12,417 --> 00:59:15,876 'Overshadowing all events is the massacre at Bluebell Valley. 878 00:59:16,001 --> 00:59:17,917 'General Fisher makes a pilgrimage 879 00:59:18,042 --> 00:59:22,001 'to the war-scarred fields where he himself was wounded. 880 00:59:22,126 --> 00:59:24,792 'Protests are pouring into the United Nations 881 00:59:24,917 --> 00:59:28,334 'as once again a shadow falls across the world. 882 00:59:28,459 --> 00:59:30,917 'Truly, history has been made again 883 00:59:31,042 --> 00:59:33,084 'and in violent fashion.' 884 00:59:35,542 --> 00:59:36,959 Now then, lad. 885 00:59:40,626 --> 00:59:42,084 Afternoon, Councillor. 886 00:59:43,584 --> 00:59:45,792 - Well, it's a grand day for it. - Aye. 887 00:59:45,917 --> 00:59:47,751 Tha's been watching football, eh? 888 00:59:47,876 --> 00:59:50,417 Nay, I'm just bound for a walk over the moor. 889 00:59:50,542 --> 00:59:53,376 What's tha got there, then? Crown jewels? 890 00:59:53,501 --> 00:59:55,959 No, gramophone records, LPs. 891 00:59:56,084 --> 00:59:58,209 There were nowt like that when I were a lad. 892 00:59:59,459 --> 01:00:01,001 No record players. 893 01:00:01,126 --> 01:00:04,209 We had to make us own music if we wanted it. 894 01:00:04,334 --> 01:00:08,126 Male voice choir we used to have. Then there were chapel choir. 895 01:00:08,251 --> 01:00:10,167 There were two chapel choirs, 896 01:00:10,292 --> 01:00:13,167 because there was another chapel down Moor Cross Road. 897 01:00:13,292 --> 01:00:16,917 Ah, but they're all coming down, all the old buildings. 898 01:00:18,084 --> 01:00:22,376 Trams, they've gone. City centre, that's all new. 899 01:00:22,501 --> 01:00:26,084 Aye, you could get a glass of beer, meat pie, 900 01:00:26,209 --> 01:00:28,834 cigarettes, matches and change out of four pence. 901 01:00:28,959 --> 01:00:31,501 - Aye. - Aye... aye. 902 01:00:31,626 --> 01:00:34,417 Dost tha think I could climb down yonder? 903 01:00:34,542 --> 01:00:36,209 Nay, tha'd break thee neck. 904 01:00:36,334 --> 01:00:39,667 Well, I'll have to manage it, whether or no. 905 01:00:39,792 --> 01:00:42,751 I'm going down to the police station. 906 01:00:42,876 --> 01:00:45,959 - What's tha going there for? - We're pulling it down. 907 01:00:47,709 --> 01:00:49,917 - Tha's not, is tha? - Aye, we are that. 908 01:00:50,042 --> 01:00:53,376 All yon cottages and all are going. 909 01:00:53,501 --> 01:00:55,584 Well, I'll be on my way now, Councillor. 910 01:00:55,709 --> 01:00:57,376 So, afternoon. 911 01:00:58,709 --> 01:00:59,792 Aye. 912 01:01:01,001 --> 01:01:02,001 I say... 913 01:01:05,501 --> 01:01:06,709 Come here. 914 01:01:09,626 --> 01:01:13,001 You're a right one with them calendars, aren't you? 915 01:01:13,126 --> 01:01:17,292 Ey, I'd have thought tha'd more sense than that, lad. 916 01:01:17,417 --> 01:01:20,917 So you're planning to go to London, then, eh? 917 01:01:21,042 --> 01:01:22,084 Aye. 918 01:01:22,209 --> 01:01:24,542 I'm just about thraiped with this place. 919 01:01:24,667 --> 01:01:26,209 How do you mean? 920 01:01:26,334 --> 01:01:29,959 Well, it's neither muckling nor mickling, is it? 921 01:01:31,084 --> 01:01:34,001 Art tha taking a rise out of me, young man? 922 01:01:34,126 --> 01:01:35,126 No, sir! 923 01:01:35,251 --> 01:01:38,959 Well, then just talk as thy father and mother brought thee up to talk. 924 01:01:39,084 --> 01:01:42,584 I had no education. I had to educate meself. 925 01:01:42,709 --> 01:01:45,667 But that's no reason to mock me. 926 01:01:45,792 --> 01:01:48,876 Now then, I don't know what I'll do yet. 927 01:01:49,001 --> 01:01:51,084 I haven't decided. 928 01:01:51,209 --> 01:01:54,376 But listen, can you take a bit of advice? 929 01:01:54,501 --> 01:01:58,001 - Yes, sir. - Now, you're a young man. 930 01:01:59,001 --> 01:02:02,792 You've got a long way to go but you can't do it by yourself. 931 01:02:03,709 --> 01:02:05,667 Now, think on. 932 01:02:07,709 --> 01:02:09,376 Me grandma's poorly. 933 01:02:10,376 --> 01:02:13,376 Well, I'm glad to have had the chance of a word with you. 934 01:02:19,084 --> 01:02:20,584 Now, think on. 935 01:03:33,251 --> 01:03:36,834 We'll be back in London in three hours so I'll call you then, OK? 936 01:03:36,959 --> 01:03:39,459 They've charged us for four single rooms! 937 01:03:39,584 --> 01:03:41,126 Only left a coat in hers. 938 01:03:41,251 --> 01:03:44,084 Phone calls: London, London, Luton... 939 01:03:44,209 --> 01:03:45,584 Luton? 940 01:03:45,709 --> 01:03:47,251 - Excuse me. - Yes? 941 01:03:47,376 --> 01:03:50,334 - Have you anything to do with Mr Boon? - I'm his manager. 942 01:03:50,459 --> 01:03:52,751 I was wondering if I could have a word with him. 943 01:03:52,876 --> 01:03:55,751 - Have you got an appointment? - I have written... 944 01:03:55,876 --> 01:03:58,042 Somebody's had 4/6 worth of phone calls. 945 01:03:58,167 --> 01:04:00,709 Do you know him? Bung us a glossy. 946 01:04:00,834 --> 01:04:04,376 Don't turn him away, Bertie. I've got three gross of these to unload. 947 01:04:04,501 --> 01:04:06,501 - What's your name, son? - Billy Fisher. 948 01:04:06,626 --> 01:04:12,167 "To Billy." I haven't put "with love." People might get the wrong idea. 949 01:04:12,292 --> 01:04:14,751 - Be seeing you. - Er, no... 950 01:04:14,876 --> 01:04:18,709 - I sent you some of me scripts. - Scripts? 951 01:04:18,834 --> 01:04:21,876 - You sent me some scripts? - Yes. You wrote me a letter. 952 01:04:22,001 --> 01:04:25,209 You said that I was to call and see your manager. 953 01:04:25,334 --> 01:04:28,751 Oh, did you? And here you are, eh? 954 01:04:28,876 --> 01:04:32,459 Well, so you want to be a scriptwriter, eh, Billy? 955 01:04:32,584 --> 01:04:34,917 Well, it's a great life. It really is. 956 01:04:35,042 --> 01:04:37,667 How's it going? Sold any material yet, have you? 957 01:04:37,792 --> 01:04:41,251 Well, I was hoping that you would be able to use me, 958 01:04:41,376 --> 01:04:43,376 well, in some way, 959 01:04:43,501 --> 01:04:45,001 as a scriptwriter. 960 01:04:45,126 --> 01:04:47,167 Oh. Oh, well, that's just it, Billy. 961 01:04:47,292 --> 01:04:49,834 I don't maintain a personal scriptwriter. 962 01:04:49,959 --> 01:04:52,667 I've got enough to do supporting these layabouts. 963 01:04:52,792 --> 01:04:55,626 Of course, I'm always in the market for individual gags. 964 01:04:55,751 --> 01:04:59,126 And I pay pro rata. Are you ever up in London? 965 01:04:59,251 --> 01:05:01,584 - Now and again. - I'll tell you what you do. 966 01:05:01,709 --> 01:05:05,376 You pop in and see me at the office. We'll have a bit of a chat. 967 01:05:05,501 --> 01:05:08,667 Well, good luck, then, Billy, and keep writing, eh? 968 01:05:10,459 --> 01:05:13,292 Here, one of you lot done me for a bottle of Beaujolais. 969 01:05:50,501 --> 01:05:53,501 - Has he stood you up, then? - Oh, get off your knees! 970 01:05:53,626 --> 01:05:56,292 Come in with us. We'll take you home, won't we, Toddo? 971 01:05:56,417 --> 01:05:58,417 Yeah, we'll take you home, love. 972 01:05:58,542 --> 01:06:01,084 - Come on. - All right, then. 973 01:06:01,209 --> 01:06:04,501 - Come on, then. - Hey! Not so free with the hands! 974 01:06:25,292 --> 01:06:26,626 Thanks, mate. 975 01:07:33,209 --> 01:07:34,709 - Hello, Liz. - Hello, Billy. 976 01:07:34,834 --> 01:07:37,001 - I knew you were back. - News travels fast! 977 01:07:37,126 --> 01:07:39,167 - Where have you been? - Here and there. 978 01:07:39,292 --> 01:07:41,459 - Up and down. - Round and about. 979 01:07:41,584 --> 01:07:43,584 - Why didn't you ring me? - I was going to. 980 01:07:43,709 --> 01:07:46,334 - Thank you very much! - No, really, I was going to. 981 01:07:46,459 --> 01:07:50,126 - I knew you'd be here tonight. - Yes, I am here, my dear. 982 01:07:50,251 --> 01:07:51,959 Me and a few others. 983 01:07:54,417 --> 01:07:56,376 - How's everything with you? - Fine. 984 01:07:56,501 --> 01:07:59,584 How's the scriptwriting, and how's that book coming along? 985 01:07:59,709 --> 01:08:02,667 I finished it. It's going to be published next Christmas. 986 01:08:02,792 --> 01:08:04,459 Count five and tell the truth. 987 01:08:06,126 --> 01:08:08,417 Oh, well... I haven't started writing it yet. 988 01:08:08,542 --> 01:08:10,126 Oh, bad as ever. 989 01:08:10,251 --> 01:08:14,209 I've written some scripts, though. I've been offered a job in London. 990 01:08:14,334 --> 01:08:17,334 - It's for the comedian Danny Boon. - I met him this morning. 991 01:08:17,459 --> 01:08:20,459 He was opening the supermarket. He asked me to cut the tape. 992 01:08:20,584 --> 01:08:24,292 - So I noticed in the paper. - Well, when are you going? 993 01:08:24,417 --> 01:08:25,959 Oh, soon. 994 01:08:26,084 --> 01:08:29,334 - When's soon? - Well, as soon as I can manage. 995 01:08:29,459 --> 01:08:32,001 That's a bit vague, isn't it? Why don't you go now? 996 01:08:32,126 --> 01:08:35,501 - Well, it's difficult. - No, it's not. It's easy. 997 01:08:35,626 --> 01:08:38,251 You get on a train and four hours later there you are. 998 01:08:38,376 --> 01:08:41,209 It's easy for you. You've had the practice. 999 01:08:45,167 --> 01:08:47,459 Shall we go for a walk or something? 1000 01:08:47,584 --> 01:08:49,751 - Soon. - Thank you. 1001 01:08:51,417 --> 01:08:53,834 ? Kookie Twisterella 1002 01:08:53,959 --> 01:08:55,876 ? She hasn't got a fella... 1003 01:08:58,376 --> 01:09:02,126 Hey, "Twisterella." It's my song. Me and Arthur wrote it. 1004 01:09:02,251 --> 01:09:03,251 Honestly? 1005 01:09:03,376 --> 01:09:05,376 Words and music by Fisher and Crabtree. 1006 01:09:05,501 --> 01:09:08,376 We gave it to 'em months ago. They never said. 1007 01:09:08,501 --> 01:09:10,917 - Did you really write it? - Of course I did. 1008 01:09:11,042 --> 01:09:12,834 ? She hasn't got a fella 1009 01:09:12,959 --> 01:09:15,042 ? The kids all have a ball 1010 01:09:15,167 --> 01:09:17,042 ? But she doesn't mind at all 1011 01:09:18,209 --> 01:09:19,292 Congratulations. 1012 01:09:19,417 --> 01:09:22,667 Oh, just a little thing I scribbled on a menu in a fish restaurant. 1013 01:09:22,792 --> 01:09:24,792 That menu's worth hundreds of pounds. 1014 01:09:24,917 --> 01:09:28,126 The price of fish has risen steeply since the war, my dear. 1015 01:09:29,251 --> 01:09:32,792 ? She's got the kind of shake that's irresistible 1016 01:09:34,834 --> 01:09:37,376 - ? Kookie Twisterella... - Hang on a minute. 1017 01:09:37,501 --> 01:09:39,459 There's somebody I'm anxious to avoid. 1018 01:09:39,584 --> 01:09:42,042 ? The kids all have a ball 1019 01:09:42,167 --> 01:09:44,251 ? But she doesn't mind at all 1020 01:09:44,376 --> 01:09:47,001 ? She's Twisterella 1021 01:09:47,126 --> 01:09:49,709 ? Yeah, Twisterella 1022 01:10:00,126 --> 01:10:02,209 - Billy! - Hello, darling. 1023 01:10:02,334 --> 01:10:04,209 I waited outside for half an hour. 1024 01:10:04,334 --> 01:10:08,292 I said I'd see you inside. Come on. Let's dance, anyway. 1025 01:10:10,459 --> 01:10:13,084 - Don't like it. - It's my song. Me and Arthur wrote it. 1026 01:10:13,209 --> 01:10:14,542 - Did you, pet? - Yeah. 1027 01:10:14,667 --> 01:10:16,834 It's the first time they've played it. 1028 01:10:16,959 --> 01:10:19,084 - But I can't do it. - Of course you can. 1029 01:10:19,209 --> 01:10:22,042 - Like this with your legs. - What do you do with your feet? 1030 01:10:22,167 --> 01:10:24,459 - The hips. - No, pet. Come on. 1031 01:10:24,584 --> 01:10:26,709 Let's have an orange squash. Come on. 1032 01:10:28,334 --> 01:10:31,001 ? She's Twisterella 1033 01:10:31,126 --> 01:10:32,292 ? Yeah, Twisterella 1034 01:10:32,417 --> 01:10:35,167 Oh, look what crawled out the corned beef! 1035 01:10:36,626 --> 01:10:40,584 Hello, Rita. I don't think you've met Barbara. 1036 01:10:40,709 --> 01:10:43,417 Er, Barbara, this is Rita. 1037 01:10:43,542 --> 01:10:45,001 Rita, this is Barbara. 1038 01:10:45,834 --> 01:10:49,209 I'm very glad you've come. I think I owe you a word of explanation. 1039 01:10:49,334 --> 01:10:52,834 A word of explanation? Get back in the cheese with the other maggots. 1040 01:10:52,959 --> 01:10:55,084 Will you kindly tell me who this girl is? 1041 01:10:55,209 --> 01:10:57,292 Oh, get Madam Fancy Knickers! 1042 01:10:57,417 --> 01:10:59,251 I suppose she's your rotten sister. 1043 01:10:59,376 --> 01:11:01,667 I thought she was in a rotten iron lung! 1044 01:11:01,792 --> 01:11:04,751 For your information, I happen to be Billy's fianc�e. 1045 01:11:04,876 --> 01:11:07,876 Well, for your information, he happens to be engaged to me! 1046 01:11:08,001 --> 01:11:10,751 - In front of a witness! - I can explain all this. 1047 01:11:10,876 --> 01:11:14,126 Explain till you're blue in the face, it'll make no difference. 1048 01:11:14,251 --> 01:11:17,667 I realise this must all seem very confusing to you, Rita. 1049 01:11:17,792 --> 01:11:19,626 Barbara broke the engagement off. 1050 01:11:19,751 --> 01:11:22,292 - Billy! - You gave that ring to me! 1051 01:11:22,417 --> 01:11:25,667 - There's been a bit of a mix-up, Rita. - Yes, there has. 1052 01:11:25,792 --> 01:11:28,709 You don't handle the goods unless you intend to buy. 1053 01:11:28,834 --> 01:11:30,251 Ooh, you're rotten! 1054 01:11:30,376 --> 01:11:34,084 - Are you breaking the engagement off? - You don't get off it like that! 1055 01:11:34,209 --> 01:11:35,917 I want that ring. 1056 01:11:36,042 --> 01:11:37,626 I've got to know, Billy. 1057 01:11:37,751 --> 01:11:40,792 Have you been having... relations with this girl? 1058 01:11:40,917 --> 01:11:44,584 What do you think he's been doing? Knitting a pullover? 1059 01:11:44,709 --> 01:11:46,251 Give me that ring. It's mine. 1060 01:11:46,376 --> 01:11:49,167 I shall give the ring back if I break off the engagement. 1061 01:11:49,292 --> 01:11:52,251 - Are you going to give me that ring? - Don't you threaten me! 1062 01:11:52,376 --> 01:11:54,376 I won't threaten you, I'll flatten you. 1063 01:11:54,501 --> 01:11:56,709 - Now, take off that ring! - No, it's mine! 1064 01:11:56,834 --> 01:11:58,834 - Give it to me! - No! 1065 01:11:59,709 --> 01:12:01,292 Right. Come on, Gerry. 1066 01:12:04,834 --> 01:12:08,001 - No, let me go! - Give me that ring. It's mine! 1067 01:12:09,667 --> 01:12:13,376 You've had it, Fisher, mate. You've had it. 1068 01:12:15,751 --> 01:12:19,251 Ladies and gentlemen, that last number was "Twisterella." 1069 01:12:19,376 --> 01:12:22,626 It's a brand-new one written by two of our local boys here, 1070 01:12:22,751 --> 01:12:24,709 Arthur Crabtree... Here's Arthur. 1071 01:12:29,876 --> 01:12:32,042 ...and his colleague Billy Fisher. 1072 01:12:32,167 --> 01:12:34,084 Billy's somewhere in the hall, I know. 1073 01:12:34,209 --> 01:12:37,084 He's probably celebrating some wonderful news he's had. 1074 01:12:37,209 --> 01:12:40,334 - There he is. - Billy Fisher. The man himself! 1075 01:12:41,584 --> 01:12:43,084 Congratulations, Billy. 1076 01:12:43,209 --> 01:12:45,501 We just heard of your wonderful job in London, 1077 01:12:45,626 --> 01:12:48,001 writing scripts for comedian Danny Boon. 1078 01:12:48,126 --> 01:12:51,042 Congratulations and best of luck. 1079 01:12:51,167 --> 01:12:53,126 Billy Liar! 1080 01:12:58,292 --> 01:13:01,542 Ladies and gentlemen, the conga. 1081 01:13:04,542 --> 01:13:06,792 Stupid! What do you want to tell 'em that for? 1082 01:13:06,917 --> 01:13:09,959 - Why not? It's all fixed up. - Mind your own business! 1083 01:13:10,084 --> 01:13:12,709 Yes, mate, and that's what you want to do as well. 1084 01:13:12,834 --> 01:13:15,417 I don't know what tale you've been telling my mother 1085 01:13:15,542 --> 01:13:18,001 about Barbara being this sister of yours, 1086 01:13:18,126 --> 01:13:21,584 but she's been going on at me all afternoon, so just pack it in. 1087 01:13:21,709 --> 01:13:23,751 And grow up! 1088 01:14:06,584 --> 01:14:09,501 'Mr William Fisher wanted on the telephone. 1089 01:14:09,626 --> 01:14:12,126 'Mr William Fisher.' 1090 01:14:13,501 --> 01:14:15,751 Mr William Fisher wanted on the telephone. 1091 01:14:18,667 --> 01:14:21,042 Let's go. 1092 01:14:28,709 --> 01:14:31,626 'Can Mr William Fisher please come to the telephone? 1093 01:14:31,751 --> 01:14:32,751 'Thank you.' 1094 01:14:40,542 --> 01:14:44,292 Liz, do you find life difficult? 1095 01:14:45,292 --> 01:14:49,667 Oh, I wish it was something you could tear up and start again. 1096 01:14:49,792 --> 01:14:53,709 You know, like starting a new page in an exercise book. 1097 01:14:53,834 --> 01:14:56,834 It's been done. Turning over a new leaf. 1098 01:14:56,959 --> 01:14:59,501 I turn over a new leaf every day, 1099 01:14:59,626 --> 01:15:01,626 but the blots show through. 1100 01:15:04,334 --> 01:15:08,584 - Billy, who do you love? - Thee, lass. 1101 01:15:08,709 --> 01:15:11,667 - Yes, it sounds like it, doesn't it? - I do, Liz, I do. 1102 01:15:11,792 --> 01:15:13,209 Say it properly, then. 1103 01:15:16,459 --> 01:15:18,459 Well, I do, Liz, I do. 1104 01:15:18,584 --> 01:15:22,292 - I want to marry you, Billy. - I think I get engaged a bit too often. 1105 01:15:22,417 --> 01:15:25,042 I don't want to get engaged. I want to get married. 1106 01:15:26,042 --> 01:15:29,084 Well, er, we will one day. 1107 01:15:29,209 --> 01:15:32,126 Yes, one day! 1108 01:15:38,126 --> 01:15:40,126 - Billy? - What? 1109 01:15:41,626 --> 01:15:43,001 You know... 1110 01:15:43,126 --> 01:15:46,126 You know what you wanted me to do that night? 1111 01:15:46,251 --> 01:15:48,251 When we were walking through the park. 1112 01:15:49,542 --> 01:15:51,167 And I said, "Another night." 1113 01:15:51,292 --> 01:15:52,751 Yes. 1114 01:15:52,876 --> 01:15:55,292 Well, it's another night tonight, isn't it? 1115 01:15:55,417 --> 01:15:57,626 - Are you sure? - Yes. 1116 01:15:57,751 --> 01:15:59,542 Er, well... 1117 01:15:59,667 --> 01:16:00,667 But what...? 1118 01:16:08,751 --> 01:16:10,542 - Billy? - Mm-hmm? 1119 01:16:13,042 --> 01:16:15,751 You know there have been others, don't you? 1120 01:16:15,876 --> 01:16:21,292 Oh, well, I somehow imagined that there might have been. 1121 01:16:21,417 --> 01:16:23,834 - Shall I tell you about them? - No, no. 1122 01:16:28,667 --> 01:16:30,292 Go on, then. Tell me about it. 1123 01:16:30,417 --> 01:16:33,376 - No, not now. - No, tell me about it. 1124 01:16:33,501 --> 01:16:36,501 - You think that's why I go away. - I don't know. 1125 01:16:36,626 --> 01:16:38,167 Oh, it's not that. 1126 01:16:39,209 --> 01:16:40,417 It's... 1127 01:16:40,542 --> 01:16:43,084 Sometimes I want to go away. 1128 01:16:43,209 --> 01:16:45,334 It's not you, Billy. 1129 01:16:45,459 --> 01:16:48,667 It's this town. It's the people we know. 1130 01:16:48,792 --> 01:16:51,751 I don't like knowing everybody, becoming a part of things. 1131 01:16:51,876 --> 01:16:54,501 - Don't you know what I mean? - Yes, I do, Liz. I do. 1132 01:16:56,209 --> 01:16:58,251 What I'd like to be is invisible. 1133 01:16:58,376 --> 01:17:01,834 I'd like to be able to move around without having to explain anything. 1134 01:17:01,959 --> 01:17:03,876 Do you know what I do to feel invisible? 1135 01:17:04,001 --> 01:17:06,959 Well, I've never told anybody before. 1136 01:17:07,084 --> 01:17:08,126 I have a sort of... 1137 01:17:08,251 --> 01:17:11,334 It's an imaginary country where I go. It has its own people. 1138 01:17:11,459 --> 01:17:14,959 Do you do that? I knew you would. 1139 01:17:15,084 --> 01:17:17,876 Why are we so alike? I can read your thoughts. 1140 01:17:18,001 --> 01:17:21,376 - A town... - No, this is a whole country. 1141 01:17:21,501 --> 01:17:24,292 I'm prime minister and you're the foreign secretary. 1142 01:17:24,417 --> 01:17:26,917 - Thank you. - I think about it for hours. 1143 01:17:27,042 --> 01:17:28,584 And sometimes I think, 1144 01:17:28,709 --> 01:17:31,209 if we were married, with a house of our own, 1145 01:17:31,334 --> 01:17:33,667 we could just sit and imagine ourselves there. 1146 01:17:33,792 --> 01:17:35,584 Yes, we could. 1147 01:17:35,709 --> 01:17:39,292 I want a room in the house with a green baize door. 1148 01:17:39,417 --> 01:17:43,501 It'll be a big room, and when we go through the door, that's our country. 1149 01:17:43,626 --> 01:17:45,667 Nobody else will be allowed in at all. 1150 01:17:45,792 --> 01:17:49,001 We could make models of the cities out of cardboard 1151 01:17:49,126 --> 01:17:51,084 and have toy soldiers for the people. 1152 01:17:51,209 --> 01:17:52,667 We can draw maps. 1153 01:17:52,792 --> 01:17:55,709 It'd be a place to go on a rainy afternoon. 1154 01:17:55,834 --> 01:17:57,667 We could design our own newspapers. 1155 01:17:57,792 --> 01:18:00,959 We could even make uniforms. It'd be our country. 1156 01:18:01,084 --> 01:18:03,001 With a model train the kids can't use. 1157 01:18:03,126 --> 01:18:06,834 Oh, Liz, Liz... will you marry me? 1158 01:18:07,792 --> 01:18:08,792 Yes, Billy. 1159 01:18:27,334 --> 01:18:29,709 - Oh, Liz. 1160 01:18:29,834 --> 01:18:32,084 - What is it? - It's nothing. 1161 01:18:40,542 --> 01:18:43,376 You'll get your bastard teeth knocked down your throat! 1162 01:18:43,501 --> 01:18:46,584 "I'm prime minister and you're the foreign secretary." 1163 01:18:46,709 --> 01:18:48,001 Or something. 1164 01:18:48,126 --> 01:18:51,501 Leave them, Billy. Oh, leave 'em. 1165 01:18:56,626 --> 01:19:00,584 They're not worth it. The whole place isn't worth it. 1166 01:19:06,959 --> 01:19:08,834 Bastards. 1167 01:19:08,959 --> 01:19:10,751 Look, Billy... 1168 01:19:10,876 --> 01:19:13,334 Why don't you go to London? I'll come with you. 1169 01:19:14,376 --> 01:19:16,167 Oh... 1170 01:19:16,292 --> 01:19:18,042 It'd be marvellous if we could. 1171 01:19:18,167 --> 01:19:21,126 But we can, Billy. We can. What's there to stop us? 1172 01:19:21,251 --> 01:19:23,459 There are arrangements to make. 1173 01:19:23,584 --> 01:19:24,792 No, there's not. 1174 01:19:24,917 --> 01:19:28,709 You buy a ticket and get on a train. That's all you have to do. 1175 01:19:28,834 --> 01:19:31,626 - You can't just go. - Yes, you can. We could go tonight. 1176 01:19:31,751 --> 01:19:34,209 There's a midnight train. It gets in at seven. 1177 01:19:34,334 --> 01:19:37,459 - Tonight, Liz? - Yes, 12:05 from Central Station. 1178 01:19:37,584 --> 01:19:39,584 We'll be in London tomorrow. 1179 01:19:39,709 --> 01:19:43,292 Breakfast at Lyons, Hyde Park in the afternoon, 1180 01:19:43,417 --> 01:19:45,584 Piccadilly tomorrow evening. 1181 01:19:45,709 --> 01:19:48,709 - Look, what time is it? - It's just after ten. 1182 01:19:50,626 --> 01:19:52,667 I'm going, Billy. Are you coming with me? 1183 01:19:55,126 --> 01:19:57,251 - Yes, Liz, I'm coming. - Are you sure? 1184 01:19:57,376 --> 01:19:58,834 I'm coming with you. 1185 01:20:00,251 --> 01:20:03,417 - I'll meet you at the barrier at 12. - Fine, yeah. 1186 01:20:03,542 --> 01:20:06,917 - What about your father and mother? - They know about it already. 1187 01:20:07,042 --> 01:20:09,751 - Billy, you won't let me down? - No, of course I won't. 1188 01:20:09,876 --> 01:20:12,292 Right. I'll go back and pack my things. 1189 01:20:12,417 --> 01:20:15,542 We're going to London! 1190 01:20:15,667 --> 01:20:19,084 Father, the men, they're coming up the drive! 1191 01:20:40,626 --> 01:20:41,626 Yeah. 1192 01:20:42,834 --> 01:20:45,501 Oh, I see. 1193 01:20:45,626 --> 01:20:48,292 Oh, oh, I see. She's still with her, is she? 1194 01:20:48,417 --> 01:20:50,459 Right. Thank you very much. 1195 01:20:50,584 --> 01:20:51,584 Goodbye. 1196 01:20:57,584 --> 01:21:00,126 Well, what time of night do you call this? 1197 01:21:00,251 --> 01:21:01,751 It's only ten. 1198 01:21:01,876 --> 01:21:04,959 - Do you want some chips bringing? - Never mind chips. 1199 01:21:05,084 --> 01:21:07,876 - They're down at the infirmary. - Who? 1200 01:21:08,001 --> 01:21:09,792 Your mother and your grandmother. 1201 01:21:09,917 --> 01:21:12,251 Your grandmother's been taken badly again. 1202 01:21:13,626 --> 01:21:17,001 - Why? What's up with her? - What's always up with her? 1203 01:21:17,126 --> 01:21:20,167 I've been ringing that bloody dance hall for the past hour, 1204 01:21:20,292 --> 01:21:21,959 trying to get word to you. 1205 01:21:22,084 --> 01:21:24,542 Why don't you go where you say you're going? 1206 01:21:24,667 --> 01:21:26,917 Is it serious or something? 1207 01:21:27,042 --> 01:21:29,417 Your mother wants you down at the infirmary. 1208 01:21:29,542 --> 01:21:32,292 Go on. Better go and get yourself a taxi ordered. 1209 01:21:50,751 --> 01:21:53,417 Hello. Speedway Taxis? 1210 01:21:53,542 --> 01:21:57,542 Could you send a cab to 23 Ringway Crescent, please? 1211 01:21:57,667 --> 01:21:59,501 It's to go to the infirmary. 1212 01:22:01,334 --> 01:22:03,001 Oh, good, good. Thank you. 1213 01:22:05,584 --> 01:22:07,834 Be about ten minutes. 1214 01:22:07,959 --> 01:22:10,167 - You don't go up there. - I'm just... 1215 01:22:10,292 --> 01:22:12,751 - You don't go up there! - I'm going to get washed. 1216 01:22:12,876 --> 01:22:16,042 Well, you can stop mucky. You don't go up there. 1217 01:22:16,167 --> 01:22:19,792 I'm fed up with your meddling ways and all other things besides. 1218 01:22:19,917 --> 01:22:21,709 - Why, what's up? - What's up? 1219 01:22:21,834 --> 01:22:24,292 - What did you do with that letter? - What letter? 1220 01:22:24,417 --> 01:22:27,792 - That letter for "Housewives' Choice". - I posted it. 1221 01:22:27,917 --> 01:22:29,751 You posted bloody nothing! 1222 01:22:29,876 --> 01:22:33,001 I did post it. That's just the rough copy. 1223 01:22:33,126 --> 01:22:36,167 Don't come telling me your lies. I found this in the wardrobe. 1224 01:22:36,292 --> 01:22:38,626 - What about them calendars? - What calendars? 1225 01:22:38,751 --> 01:22:42,251 I'll give you what if you don't stop saying "what" to me, young man. 1226 01:22:42,376 --> 01:22:44,334 You can't keep your hands off nothing. 1227 01:22:44,459 --> 01:22:48,042 I got it all from Councillor Duxbury. What about their petty cash? 1228 01:22:48,167 --> 01:22:50,709 You've made me into a bloody laughing stock! 1229 01:22:50,834 --> 01:22:53,917 - And where is that monkey wrench? - What would I want with it? 1230 01:22:54,042 --> 01:22:56,667 Or with 200 calendars! You're not right in your head! 1231 01:22:56,792 --> 01:22:59,667 I'm not right! I'm not right! I didn't want to work there! 1232 01:22:59,792 --> 01:23:01,709 Don't bloody shout at me! 1233 01:23:01,834 --> 01:23:05,084 - I'll knock you into next week! - God give me strength! 1234 01:23:05,209 --> 01:23:06,959 He wants to give you some sense. 1235 01:23:07,084 --> 01:23:10,959 You're like a bloody Mary-Anne. You ought to be grateful for the job. 1236 01:23:11,084 --> 01:23:15,042 Grateful for this, grateful for that. That's all I've ever heard! 1237 01:23:15,167 --> 01:23:17,417 Grateful you let me go to the grammar school. 1238 01:23:17,542 --> 01:23:20,626 - Since the first day I went there! - It's a chance we never had. 1239 01:23:20,751 --> 01:23:22,459 And don't we bloody well know it? 1240 01:23:22,584 --> 01:23:25,167 I even had to be grateful for winning a scholarship. 1241 01:23:25,292 --> 01:23:27,542 What did you say when I told you I'd won it? 1242 01:23:27,667 --> 01:23:30,501 You'd have to pay for the uniform and I had to be grateful! 1243 01:23:30,626 --> 01:23:33,709 And I'm supposed to be grateful to Shadrack and Duxbury 1244 01:23:33,834 --> 01:23:36,251 for letting me sit at one of their rotten desks! 1245 01:23:36,376 --> 01:23:39,376 You'll stop there till all that money's paid back. 1246 01:23:39,501 --> 01:23:42,084 - I'm not. I'm leaving. - What do you mean, leaving? 1247 01:23:42,209 --> 01:23:44,917 - I'm going to London. - What can you do in London? 1248 01:23:45,042 --> 01:23:47,376 - Write scripts. - Don't talk so bloody wet. 1249 01:23:47,501 --> 01:23:50,417 Who's going to run this business when I'm gone? 1250 01:23:50,542 --> 01:23:52,751 You said you didn't want me in the business! 1251 01:23:52,876 --> 01:23:55,751 Only because you were too bloody idle, that's all. 1252 01:23:55,876 --> 01:23:59,251 - Who's going to keep your mother? - You're not retiring, are you? 1253 01:23:59,376 --> 01:24:03,042 - I'll give you a kick up your backside! - I'm not arguing, Dad. I'm going. 1254 01:24:03,167 --> 01:24:05,501 Go, then. I'm finished with you. 1255 01:24:05,626 --> 01:24:07,959 And don't take my suitcase with you! 1256 01:24:19,292 --> 01:24:21,876 My husband had a bad accident three years back. 1257 01:24:22,001 --> 01:24:26,126 - Did he? - He's all right now, but at the time... 1258 01:24:29,126 --> 01:24:31,209 We looked all over for you, lad. 1259 01:24:31,334 --> 01:24:33,542 - Where's my grandma? - In there. 1260 01:24:33,667 --> 01:24:37,084 They've got that black doctor to her. She can't talk. 1261 01:24:37,209 --> 01:24:38,917 We're just waiting. 1262 01:24:43,876 --> 01:24:46,167 She was all right just after you went out. 1263 01:24:46,292 --> 01:24:49,876 Then when your father came home, we were all just watching television 1264 01:24:50,001 --> 01:24:52,834 and she slumps forward in her chair 1265 01:24:52,959 --> 01:24:55,667 and she started to slaver, just like a... 1266 01:24:55,792 --> 01:24:57,376 just like a baby. 1267 01:24:57,501 --> 01:24:59,292 Will she be all right? 1268 01:24:59,417 --> 01:25:02,209 I don't know, lad. I... 1269 01:25:02,334 --> 01:25:03,751 I don't know. 1270 01:25:08,459 --> 01:25:12,167 Well, you've got yourself into a fine mess, haven't you? 1271 01:25:13,584 --> 01:25:14,792 So it would seem. 1272 01:25:14,917 --> 01:25:17,501 I'm only thankful she knows nothing about it. 1273 01:25:19,709 --> 01:25:23,209 Why didn't you post that letter of mine to "Housewives' Choice"? 1274 01:25:23,334 --> 01:25:26,376 I did post it. I just wrote it out again, that's all. 1275 01:25:26,501 --> 01:25:29,584 - What for? - There was some mistakes in it. 1276 01:25:31,209 --> 01:25:34,959 I thought it would stand a better chance if it was more grammatical. 1277 01:25:35,084 --> 01:25:37,459 We can't all be Shakespeares, can we? 1278 01:25:37,584 --> 01:25:41,167 We're going to sit down tomorrow and go over everything you've done 1279 01:25:41,292 --> 01:25:42,917 and everything you've taken. 1280 01:25:43,042 --> 01:25:45,584 Yes, well, I won't be here tomorrow. 1281 01:25:45,709 --> 01:25:48,167 - How do you mean? - I'm going to London. 1282 01:25:49,751 --> 01:25:53,834 I'd have been at the station already if it hadn't been for Grandma. 1283 01:25:53,959 --> 01:25:56,084 If you're in any more trouble, Billy, 1284 01:25:56,209 --> 01:25:59,001 it's not something you can leave behind you, you know. 1285 01:25:59,126 --> 01:26:01,626 You put it in your suitcase, and take it with you. 1286 01:26:01,751 --> 01:26:06,584 Look, Mother, I've said I'm going and I'm definitely going. 1287 01:26:08,126 --> 01:26:11,167 Mrs Fisher, would you come this way, please? 1288 01:26:31,459 --> 01:26:33,334 'Three passengers on a Belfast plane 1289 01:26:33,459 --> 01:26:36,667 'were Mr Goose, Mr Gander and the Reverend Mr Gosling. 1290 01:26:36,792 --> 01:26:38,542 'They did not know each other. 1291 01:26:41,459 --> 01:26:43,667 'The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. 1292 01:26:43,792 --> 01:26:46,417 'He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.' 1293 01:26:57,876 --> 01:26:59,334 - Tea? - Please. 1294 01:27:03,042 --> 01:27:04,459 - Sixpence. - Oh. 1295 01:27:06,167 --> 01:27:07,167 Ta. 1296 01:27:17,417 --> 01:27:19,917 I'm sorry, Mrs Fisher. We have some formalities. 1297 01:27:20,042 --> 01:27:21,834 Would you mind waiting? 1298 01:27:29,584 --> 01:27:32,501 Your grandma died at seven minutes past eleven. 1299 01:27:45,084 --> 01:27:46,501 It's hot. 1300 01:27:47,417 --> 01:27:49,542 - Do you want to go in and see her? - No. 1301 01:27:56,001 --> 01:27:57,626 I can't drink it. 1302 01:28:03,417 --> 01:28:06,501 What time train are you supposed to be catching? 1303 01:28:06,626 --> 01:28:08,251 Er, midnight. 1304 01:28:11,292 --> 01:28:14,084 So... I've got to go or... 1305 01:28:14,792 --> 01:28:16,751 well, I won't catch it. 1306 01:28:19,417 --> 01:28:23,542 - Well, you haven't got any money. - I've managed to save a few pounds. 1307 01:28:27,126 --> 01:28:31,542 - Do you want me to get you a taxi? - I've got some papers to sign first. 1308 01:28:33,792 --> 01:28:37,001 We don't say much, but... 1309 01:28:37,126 --> 01:28:38,959 but we need you at home, lad. 1310 01:28:39,084 --> 01:28:40,667 Yes, well, I mean, I... 1311 01:28:41,542 --> 01:28:43,542 I won't be away for long. I'll... 1312 01:28:44,292 --> 01:28:47,001 I'll just get fixed up. I can come home next weekend. 1313 01:28:52,084 --> 01:28:54,126 See, I've got to go or I'll miss the train. 1314 01:29:09,417 --> 01:29:11,626 I'm sorry about my grandma. 1315 01:29:42,834 --> 01:29:46,459 Officers and gentlemen of the Ambrosian Militia, 1316 01:29:47,792 --> 01:29:51,126 we are assembled here at the graveside 1317 01:29:51,251 --> 01:29:53,251 to pay our respects to a great lady. 1318 01:29:54,959 --> 01:29:57,376 There are many of us who would not be here today 1319 01:29:57,501 --> 01:30:00,417 but for her tender mercies. 1320 01:30:00,542 --> 01:30:06,167 Although in her later years she was limbless from the waist down, 1321 01:30:06,292 --> 01:30:10,001 she struggled valiantly to combat ignorance and disease. 1322 01:30:11,001 --> 01:30:13,667 Although she will be remembered by the world 1323 01:30:13,792 --> 01:30:16,751 as the inventor of penicillin and radium, 1324 01:30:17,542 --> 01:30:21,126 we of this proud regiment 1325 01:30:21,251 --> 01:30:24,751 remember her as our friend, 1326 01:30:24,876 --> 01:30:27,167 the Lady of the Lamp. 1327 01:31:11,917 --> 01:31:13,584 Sir? Sir? 1328 01:31:13,709 --> 01:31:15,959 - A ticket to London. - Single or return? 1329 01:31:16,084 --> 01:31:18,334 - Single. - �2 8/3, please. 1330 01:31:24,751 --> 01:31:26,167 Only 15 shillings. 1331 01:31:27,126 --> 01:31:31,542 She'd look after you, son, I'm telling you. 1332 01:31:31,667 --> 01:31:34,792 - 15 shillings gets you a nice night. - You'll be all right. 1333 01:31:34,917 --> 01:31:36,751 - What time's your train? - Six-ish. 1334 01:31:36,876 --> 01:31:40,251 Six-ish, is it? She'll see you right. You'll be on the train in time. 1335 01:31:40,376 --> 01:31:42,334 Have a nice breakfast before you go. 1336 01:31:42,459 --> 01:31:45,376 We'll look after him, won't we? You'll be all right, love. 1337 01:31:45,501 --> 01:31:49,751 - I've got to get to camp. - She'll see you get back to camp. 1338 01:31:49,876 --> 01:31:52,584 Are you going to go with her, then? You'll be all right. 1339 01:31:52,709 --> 01:31:54,584 Stop following me, will you? 1340 01:31:54,709 --> 01:31:56,876 Look at that young man. He's blind drunk. 1341 01:31:57,001 --> 01:31:58,917 What a shame. That poor girl. 1342 01:31:59,042 --> 01:32:01,709 Just look at him. You're not like that, are you son? 1343 01:32:04,126 --> 01:32:05,959 You shouldn't drink. 1344 01:32:06,084 --> 01:32:09,084 Get that man in the guardhouse. CO's parade tomorrow. 1345 01:32:09,209 --> 01:32:11,751 They fought for me in the last war. 1346 01:32:11,876 --> 01:32:13,459 Come on. 1347 01:32:14,417 --> 01:32:16,084 - Come on! - Oh! 1348 01:32:21,084 --> 01:32:23,792 Oh, look what's crawled out of the cheese! 1349 01:32:25,167 --> 01:32:26,417 Hello, Rita. 1350 01:32:28,251 --> 01:32:30,542 Borstal here we come. 1351 01:32:32,042 --> 01:32:34,917 Er, what happened to Barbara, then? 1352 01:32:35,042 --> 01:32:36,751 I don't know and I don't care. 1353 01:32:38,084 --> 01:32:40,084 You think you're somebody, don't you? 1354 01:32:40,209 --> 01:32:43,376 I'll tell you something. You're not! 1355 01:32:43,501 --> 01:32:46,126 - You're nobody. - I'm sorry. 1356 01:32:46,917 --> 01:32:51,084 - You can have the ring for all I care. - That ring? I wouldn't touch it. 1357 01:32:52,376 --> 01:32:54,084 Go on, get away. 1358 01:32:54,209 --> 01:32:56,626 You're just muck. 1359 01:32:56,751 --> 01:32:58,209 Come on, you. 1360 01:32:58,959 --> 01:33:00,459 Come on! 1361 01:33:01,542 --> 01:33:05,417 Idle walking that, man. Left, right, left, right. 1362 01:33:05,542 --> 01:33:08,792 Oh, belt up! He's a sergeant, him. 1363 01:33:08,917 --> 01:33:11,209 Why doesn't he get back in the effing army? 1364 01:33:32,459 --> 01:33:34,667 - Hello. - I had to walk. 1365 01:33:34,792 --> 01:33:36,667 Oh, never mind. Do you good. 1366 01:33:36,792 --> 01:33:40,001 Just missed the last bus. I saw it going. 1367 01:33:40,126 --> 01:33:43,167 I turned the corner and there it was moving on. 1368 01:33:44,751 --> 01:33:46,751 So I walked. 1369 01:33:46,876 --> 01:33:50,084 I went through the back streets. I passed me old school. 1370 01:33:52,042 --> 01:33:53,459 Ta. 1371 01:33:54,501 --> 01:33:58,417 - Come on! We can't wait all night! - All right, don't panic. We're here. 1372 01:33:58,542 --> 01:34:01,626 - Punch those, will you? - Have you got the tickets? 1373 01:34:01,751 --> 01:34:05,292 Well, I seem to have three face cloths and no toothbrush. 1374 01:34:05,417 --> 01:34:07,584 - Still, I can borrow yours, can't I? - Yes. 1375 01:34:13,667 --> 01:34:16,501 - Have we got enough cigarettes? - Yes, I've got some. 1376 01:34:16,626 --> 01:34:19,209 Do you want one? - Er, no. 1377 01:34:19,334 --> 01:34:22,542 - Isn't it stuffy in here? - Where are we going? 1378 01:34:24,834 --> 01:34:27,126 Is it worth the money? I don't know. 1379 01:34:30,126 --> 01:34:34,001 - Who's got a kip for me? - Oh, not again! 1380 01:34:34,126 --> 01:34:37,334 - I thought you'd got a flat! - I had to leave. 1381 01:34:37,459 --> 01:34:40,501 Didn't pay the rent, did I? Had too many parties an' all. 1382 01:34:42,876 --> 01:34:46,042 I hope you're not going to talk all night like last time. 1383 01:34:46,167 --> 01:34:49,876 - We can't get anything to eat, can we? - I've got some sandwiches with me. 1384 01:34:52,292 --> 01:34:55,876 - Would you like me to get you a drink? - No, not really. 1385 01:34:57,209 --> 01:34:59,251 - Penzance. - Penzance? 1386 01:34:59,376 --> 01:35:01,167 Yeah, and then back to Scotland. 1387 01:35:02,417 --> 01:35:05,042 Wait a minute. There's a milk machine on the station. 1388 01:35:05,167 --> 01:35:07,542 - I can get you some. - I don't really want any. 1389 01:35:07,667 --> 01:35:09,626 It'll only take a minute. 1390 01:35:09,751 --> 01:35:11,584 Save me place. 1391 01:35:11,709 --> 01:35:13,792 Well, hurry up, Billy! 1392 01:35:13,917 --> 01:35:16,042 That kind lady might let me share her gaff. 1393 01:35:16,167 --> 01:35:19,792 She'll give you a punch up the throat if you're not careful. 1394 01:35:24,584 --> 01:35:27,209 - Just going to get some milk. - You haven't got long. 1395 01:38:04,459 --> 01:38:06,959 ? Ambrosia 1396 01:38:07,084 --> 01:38:10,167 ? Ambrosia...