1 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,440 SICILY EXPRESS 2 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:46,717 -Yo. -Hm? 3 00:00:46,800 --> 00:00:49,517 I'm telling you, in 24 hours, I'm telling Maria Teresa everything. 4 00:00:49,600 --> 00:00:53,357 Yes, yes! But tonight I'm sneaking into Guglielmo's to spy on bingo, 5 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,397 then tomorrow we can tell the girls all about the dumpster, as we agreed! 6 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,077 No more lying or making stuff up, okay? 7 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,997 Ah! Cut that out right now. My word is my bond. 8 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:01,997 Mm. 9 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,957 -Come on, Salvo, think about it. -Hm? 10 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,637 We can work in Milan, huh? 11 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:07,477 Then go home and sleep in Sicily. 12 00:01:07,560 --> 00:01:10,397 How amazing would that be? What more could we want out of life? 13 00:01:10,480 --> 00:01:11,957 Beautiful. 14 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:15,640 -Hm? The hospital! -Answer, it might be important. 15 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,317 Hello? 16 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,757 Hey, Valentino, it's Andrea. 17 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,240 -Sorry to bother you. -Oh, Andrea, hello. 18 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:25,517 Is everything okay? 19 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,277 No, I just wanted to let you know that there was an issue, 20 00:01:28,360 --> 00:01:30,837 and the director had no choice but to change your shifts. 21 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:31,997 When do we need to come in? 22 00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,117 Uh, so you're not the afternoon shift anymore, 23 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,037 you've been swapped over to the morning shift. 24 00:01:36,120 --> 00:01:37,917 So you'll have to be at the hospital at... 25 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,557 -Seven. -Seven. 7 a.m. 26 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:40,600 At seven?! 27 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,237 He's standing next to you right now, huh? 28 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:46,997 Yes, yes. And if you could pass that along to Salvo too. 29 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,037 -He's breathing down your neck, then? -Exactly, that's perfect, thanks. 30 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,197 -Sorry, sir, can I get your signature? -Yeah. 31 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:54,637 Under no circumstances can you guys be late. 32 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:56,197 You know he did this on purpose. 33 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,637 There was no reason for him change the shifts around. 34 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:00,717 -There, done. -Okay, cool! Yeah, sounds great. 35 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:01,677 I'll see you tomorrow. 36 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:03,317 Okay, Andrea. Thank you, bye. 37 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,477 -All right then, so it's all sorted? -Very much so, sir. 38 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,757 -I knew I could always rely on you. -Yeah, no problem. 39 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,557 -Have a good night. -You too, sir. 40 00:02:11,640 --> 00:02:13,237 -Yo, Salvo. -Hm? 41 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,117 -The director flipped our shift around. -Mm-hm? 42 00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:17,117 He wants us at work tomorrow at 7 a.m. 43 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:18,437 -Salvo, you listening? -Mm-hm. 44 00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:20,797 Salvo, can you hear me, or are you just jealous about Gugu? 45 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:25,117 Yes, I hear you, I got it. And I told you, I'm not jealous. 46 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:26,557 'Cause why would I be jealous? 47 00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:28,677 And none of this is my fault, it's all Guglielmo's. 48 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:29,837 What are you talking about? 49 00:02:29,920 --> 00:02:31,157 'Cause he's an ex. 50 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,117 And the moment an ex becomes an ex, 51 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,077 they immediately have a moral obligation to move somewhere abroad. 52 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:38,917 -What do you mean, move? -Bro, that's the rule. Everyone knows it. 53 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:41,197 Only you don't, and it's 'cause you're ignorant. 54 00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,877 What the hell are you talking about? Did you fall and hit your head? 55 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,317 Breaking news, we're all someone's ex too. 56 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,157 Does that mean we have to move somewhere else? 57 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,357 Of course. 58 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,196 Who gets to stay in Italy then? Huh? 59 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:55,117 The foreign ex who moved to Italy for their now ex in the first place! 60 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,877 So basically it's a transfer of people? 61 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,197 Correct. Is that an issue for you? What are you, a nationalist? 62 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,677 No, are you saying I look like one? 63 00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,557 No, I just saw that dumb look on your face, so I thought... 64 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:07,757 Salvo, remember, in the mighty words of Confucius, 65 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,357 only those who are insecure are jealous. 66 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,280 Yeah, yeah, whatever. 67 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:15,040 Are you serious? 68 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,597 You look like you're about to go rob a bank. 69 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:18,637 You know what? 70 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:21,557 You don't have the slightest respect for my emotional state. 71 00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,880 Uh, wait, hold on a second. Trust me. 72 00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,917 You're welcome. 73 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:31,397 And don't give me that look. You should be thanking me, 74 00:03:31,480 --> 00:03:32,720 I'm doing you a favor. 75 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,680 See you later, Confucius. 76 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:39,480 Mm... 77 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,280 Least one of us cleans up after ourselves. 78 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:53,357 -Hi! -Oh, hello! 79 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:55,360 -Hey! -Good to see you. 80 00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:03,000 -So nice to see you. -Gugu! Hi. 81 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,280 There you go. You see that? 82 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:13,320 I'll chop off those damn hands! 83 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,080 Putting his hands all over her, and I'm the one overreacting? 84 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:34,360 Huh? 85 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:47,677 Yes, thank you, I'm coming. 86 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:50,397 I'm on my way out now. Hey, Maria Teresa, where are you going? 87 00:04:50,480 --> 00:04:52,797 That was our Santa Claus, he's gonna be here soon. 88 00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:55,757 All right, I'll go back with the kids, so we don't ruin the whole surprise. 89 00:04:55,840 --> 00:04:57,742 -Yeah, sounds good. -See you in a sec! 90 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,800 Okay, I'm out front and I don't see you. 91 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:13,120 And who is that? 92 00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:14,720 Hm? 93 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:19,200 Oh! Thanks for coming! 94 00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:28,397 -Okay, so I'm gonna go back inside. -Mm-hm. 95 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,397 -Wait here while I open the window. -Sounds good. 96 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,757 And then you can climb in and get all dressed up. 97 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,277 -The kids will love that! -Perfect. 98 00:05:34,360 --> 00:05:36,837 Thank you so much! This will really make their whole year! 99 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:40,120 I can't wait to see their faces! It's gonna be incredible! 100 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:44,400 I can't believe what I'm seeing. 101 00:05:55,800 --> 00:05:56,637 Hey, Salvo. 102 00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:58,037 I'm so sorry. 103 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:00,517 But I'm your best friend, and I can't keep this a secret. 104 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,837 My God, you need to get over this jealousy, Salvo! 105 00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:04,117 Maria Teresa. 106 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,757 What about Maria Teresa? 107 00:06:05,840 --> 00:06:09,357 -Maria Teresa's here, at Guglielmo's. -I know she's at Guglielmo's. 108 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,397 We tell each other everything, not to worry. 109 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:14,504 Yeah. Did she also happen to mention the guy she brought along? 110 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,277 So, what the hell's going on? 111 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:42,837 I'm sorry to be the one who's gotta give you the bad news, Val. 112 00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,837 -But this is impossible! -Mm. I know. 113 00:06:44,920 --> 00:06:46,437 Maria Teresa shouldn't have done it. 114 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,637 I get the long-distance, and his magnetism's tough to ignore, 115 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:51,077 but it's not right or fair. 116 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:54,400 I'll let you decide if you wanna watch this heartbreaking scene. 117 00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:03,960 -But he's so old! -He is, but he'll charm the pants off you. 118 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:13,477 Yeah, hello? 119 00:07:13,560 --> 00:07:15,677 What's up? Where are you? 120 00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,397 I told you, I'm at Guglielmo's. 121 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,157 You couldn't take me out for the dinner you promised me, so... 122 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:22,357 So what, this is your revenge? Huh? 123 00:07:22,440 --> 00:07:24,357 I don't know what you're on about, but I gotta go. 124 00:07:24,440 --> 00:07:26,677 What are you doing that's so important you can't talk? 125 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,637 Listen, I get he's undeniably charming, but this is just over the top. 126 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:32,157 -Val! You need to calm down. -Why didn't you tell me? 127 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,637 Where is all this coming from? Have you and Sal been drinking? 128 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:35,757 Unbelievable. 129 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,637 -I don't get... What's the problem? -Why can't you tell me? 130 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:39,837 Stop avoiding my question. 131 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:41,637 -Not you too! -Why won't you tell the truth? 132 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,077 -Stupid, horny old man! -Just confirming what I thought. 133 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,557 -You're lying to me! -Val, listen, I need both my hands free. 134 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:49,317 Tell me what you're doing with both of your hands! 135 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,797 -No, you're being ridiculous! -Salvo, what's going on? 136 00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:53,517 -Clap your hands. -What are you saying? 137 00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,717 -Like big applause. -Well, what did you do now, huh? 138 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:56,997 It's not me, it's you! 139 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,597 Now, I can even hear the shaking in your voice! 140 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:02,157 My voice is shaking because you're making me nervous! 141 00:08:02,240 --> 00:08:03,917 What the hell are you talking about, honey? 142 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,757 You're pulling this crap at Christmas? 143 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,077 The time of year where we're supposed to love each other? 144 00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:09,557 -The nerve! -I can't do this. 145 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:11,277 I can't believe you'd do this to me! 146 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,037 -You're not thinking. -What did I do to deserve this? 147 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,477 Uh, nothing, sweetheart. 148 00:08:15,560 --> 00:08:17,997 Since you're always accusing me of being jealous of Guglielmo, 149 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,997 I wanted to play a fun little prank. 150 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,317 Oh God, another one. 151 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,197 I really gotta stop falling for your jokes. 152 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,517 Sorry, but I've gotta go, okay? 153 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,877 Okay, well, say hi to Santa Claus for me. Bye. 154 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:29,797 -Tell me why you're asking. -Hang on a second, how could you know? 155 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:32,357 -Know what? -Know Maria and I are with Santa Claus. 156 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:35,477 -If I have to explain... -Well, it's a thing, you know, people say. 157 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,957 "Say hi to Santa Claus" a lot around Christmas. 158 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:40,157 -I don't know... -It's not usually literal. 159 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:42,157 Honey, just stop, I have to go. 160 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,077 I'm trying to overhear what's going on between Maria Teresa and Valentino. 161 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,077 -We'll talk soon. -Bye, babe. Love you. 162 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:51,477 -I am honest! You're being weird! -A simple question and you can't answer! 163 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,477 -That you can't answer it speaks volumes! -You have no right to accuse me... 164 00:08:54,560 --> 00:08:56,037 If you... Stop, I'm on the phone! 165 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,157 If you can't answer it, 166 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,157 then we need to have a very important conversation 167 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:01,757 about what we're doing and... Um, hold on. 168 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:03,677 -You don't even trust me anymore! -One minute! 169 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,160 Val, what the hell is wrong with you? 170 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,277 I wanna get to the bottom of whatever this is, so just tell me. Now. 171 00:09:12,360 --> 00:09:14,517 Nothing sweetie, it's just an April Fool's prank. 172 00:09:14,600 --> 00:09:15,837 In December? 173 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:18,080 Well, yes, 'cause you would never expect it. 174 00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:20,677 Very funny, can I please go now? 175 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:22,957 Yeah, okay. Bye, sweetheart. I love you lots. 176 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,800 -Goodbye, sorry about that. -Bye. 177 00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:30,637 God, Salvo played another prank on me, the idiot, and I fell for it. 178 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,080 I think Milan's messing with Valentino's head. 179 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,560 Do you have any idea what you just made me do? 180 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,117 You always do this to me! Why?! 181 00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:41,157 Check your sources before flying off the handle! 182 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:42,637 You are my source, you moron! 183 00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:44,397 Shut up! They'll hear! Keep your voice down. 184 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,724 -You're the one who told me... -Stop talking. 185 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:55,957 So, gentlemen, 186 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,077 want to explain why you were hiding in those bushes? 187 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,040 With a pair of binoculars? 188 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:04,757 Um, because we're very passionate about observing nocturnal animals. 189 00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:06,757 Ah, so you were observing animals in the bushes? 190 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,437 -Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. -Yes, we are. 191 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,037 -Very passionate. -Yes, yes. 192 00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:12,157 What kind of animals, exactly? 193 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,840 Uh, blackbirds primarily. 194 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,560 Ah, yes, blackbirds. Famously nocturnal. 195 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:19,517 No, owls. 196 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:20,437 There were owls. 197 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,317 -Owls, right. -He thought they were blackbirds. 198 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,237 At night, it can be hard to tell them apart. 199 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:26,957 -Okay, sure, owls. Yeah. Right. What else? -Yeah. 200 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:29,437 -Turtledoves. -And some bats. 201 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:31,597 -You remember the bats, don't you? -Yeah, lots of bats. 202 00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,277 -Mm. -Butterflies. 203 00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:35,397 -Fireflies. -Oh, so also insects? 204 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,357 Yes, oh, especially nocturnal insects. 205 00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:41,200 You two wouldn't know a nocturnal animal if it bit you on the nose. 206 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:45,157 No, it's just 'cause nighttime is more conducive for animal watching. 207 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:47,517 It makes it much harder to see them, you know? 208 00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:50,477 It's not they carry little nametags, "Hello, I'm nocturnal," right? 209 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,237 You really gotta get a good look at them. 210 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,117 We're sorry if we're not explaining it right. 211 00:10:54,200 --> 00:10:55,237 No disrespect. 212 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:56,917 We never meant to go off on a tangent. 213 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:59,077 -We're nervous. -So you were just observing animals? 214 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:00,157 -Exactly. -Yes. 215 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,637 -And that's just... like a hobby? -No. 216 00:11:02,720 --> 00:11:03,837 It's a profession. 217 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,117 -Yes. -And you do it in a bathrobe? 218 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,717 Because of the fireflies. 219 00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,437 The robe lures them in and you can really observe them up close. 220 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:11,357 It's beautiful. 221 00:11:11,440 --> 00:11:15,117 -You see them very clearly against white. -So why are you dressed in black? 222 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:17,997 To drive them back when they get too close for comfort. 223 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,477 Because fireflies can become vicious if they get too close. 224 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,677 Real vicious. Vicious. You know, like a tiger. 225 00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,477 -No, no. -They can turn really dangerous. 226 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:28,037 Unlike owls, who look better from a distance. 227 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,597 Yeah, they look better from afar. 228 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:30,517 Real gorgeous. 229 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,757 Ugly up close, but gorgeous when they're far away. 230 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:35,517 -You know, their beautiful eyes. -The further the better. Perspective. 231 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:38,624 When these things get too close and they're swiveling around... 232 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,317 -Their eyes are so bright. -Bright. 233 00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,357 It's like a spotlight, and it's all you can see. 234 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:46,437 -They should teach this in school. -True, distance is important. 235 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,037 -Versus close. -Closer to an owl is bad. 236 00:11:48,120 --> 00:11:49,357 'Cause all you see is the eyes... 237 00:11:49,440 --> 00:11:52,357 Yeah, we get the gist. We're gonna need your names and addresses. 238 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,517 What, is this an interrogation all of a sudden? 239 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,037 Where's your identification? 240 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:59,197 What kind of person takes identification with them for nocturnal animal watching? 241 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,960 Don't you get smart with us, sir. Just watch yourself. 242 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:05,480 -One last question. Either of you married? -Yes. 243 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:09,717 Perfect. We'll contact your wives, and I'm sure they'll vouch for you. 244 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:10,637 -No. -No. 245 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:13,677 -Our wives don't know we're in Sicily. -You can't. 246 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,760 Ah, so where do they think you are? In Milan, or...? 247 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:19,837 Yeah, Milan. 248 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:21,717 All right, enough fun and games. 249 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,840 Our captain will be here in the morning. 250 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,734 He'll decide what to do with you guys. 251 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:29,760 Not 'til the morning? 252 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:31,517 -But no. -No. 253 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:32,517 No, please, we can't. 254 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:35,117 It's really important we're at work at 7:00 a.m. tomorrow. 255 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,280 -We really can't get there late! -Yeah! 256 00:13:00,840 --> 00:13:02,040 Good mor... 257 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,997 -Giulio! -Giulio? 258 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,440 Captain Giacalone. 259 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:08,997 What are you two doing here? 260 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,251 What are you doing here? 261 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:13,800 Why were these two gentlemen detained? 262 00:13:14,560 --> 00:13:18,157 Uh, the truth is that we were actually, uh... 263 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,237 Mm. 264 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:22,197 ...out in some bushes observing some nocturnal animals. 265 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:26,037 -Really majestic creatures, mind you, and... -We do it to make some money on the side. 266 00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:28,957 Captain, we tried to explain it to your colleagues here, but I think they... 267 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:31,117 Oh, so now we're being formal, guys? 268 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:32,677 Look, I wanna help you. 269 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:34,717 But you're gonna have to throw me a bone here. 270 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,117 All right, Giulio, I'm gonna be totally honest with you. 271 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:39,437 This whole thing is about Salvo's wife, Claudia. 272 00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:41,357 Salvo's not jealous though, that's important. 273 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:44,877 Her ex isn't following the rules and moving abroad like he should! 274 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,397 Last night, the ex hosted a bingo night. Salvo wanted to make sure his wife wasn't... 275 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,837 Hold on a second. You were spying on your wife? 276 00:13:51,920 --> 00:13:54,997 -Well, why didn't you just say so? -Ah! Well done! 277 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,317 Congratulations, that's very impressive. 278 00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:00,837 You've managed to do the most pathetic thing a man possibly can. 279 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:03,077 Because in your sick, sad masculine mind, 280 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:06,277 you've convinced yourself that a woman can't have a life of her own 281 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:08,597 without you knowing everything about it. 282 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,077 So, come on! Let's hear everything you found out about her. 283 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:14,477 Did you discover that she's got her own distinct interests? 284 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,037 That she's not your property? 285 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,557 That ladies can be powerful? That probably scares you, huh? 286 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:22,840 Maybe you deserve to feel embarrassed, Giovanni! 287 00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:25,797 Wait, who's Giovanni? 288 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,477 My name is Salvo. 289 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,437 Giovanni's her ex. Lots of spying. 290 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:32,237 Ah! 291 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,837 -Hm. -And how did she find out about it? 292 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,080 -Because she spied on him too. -Of course. 293 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:39,557 -Ugh! -But listen, Salvo. 294 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,437 Remember, only those who are insecure are jealous. 295 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:44,557 -Confucius? -No, my ex. 296 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,277 My apologies. 297 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,317 -And where is she now? -Albania. 298 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,717 You see? Look at that. She moved abroad. That's respectful. 299 00:14:52,800 --> 00:14:54,020 Release them immediately. 300 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:58,357 Look at the time! You know, I think we can still make it. 301 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,480 -Yeah. Thanks a lot. -Excuse us, please. 302 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:12,760 Oh, and don't forget to check in and say hi to my dad! 303 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,800 SANTA SERENITÀ CLINIC 304 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,440 ENTRANCE - EXIT 305 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:13,157 Huh. You're tardy. 306 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:16,517 Whoo! 307 00:16:16,600 --> 00:16:20,037 And punctuality is key! 308 00:16:20,120 --> 00:16:21,440 You're up in the north! 309 00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:26,637 Is that concept clear to you? 310 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,197 Of course, it would be unreasonable to fire you 311 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:30,797 for being a minute late for work. 312 00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,400 -It's just one minute! -Yes, thank you. 313 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,117 -But you're fired. -No. 314 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,757 Ah, you better believe it! 315 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:39,760 Here you go! 316 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,800 No. 317 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:58,080 I'm really sorry, you guys. 318 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,037 It's just so unfair. 319 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:03,077 Wait, now who's gonna bring me cannoli from Sicily? 320 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:04,797 Try to look at the bright side of all this, 321 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:06,877 at least now you can go to beach whenever you want! 322 00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,437 Take in that sea air! 323 00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:11,557 -Well, isn't this a terribly sad sight. -Let's get you back inside, sir. 324 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:14,920 And this is it for you two. Can't come back from this! 325 00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:19,560 Hey, congratulations on that fancy white robe, too! 326 00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,560 Come on! Let's all get back to work! Move! 327 00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,757 Val. Hey, come on, open the door. 328 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,800 Just come out and we can talk about it. Val! 329 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:35,197 Oh, finally. Listen, my friend, I just wanted to tell you... Hey, come on! 330 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,517 My friend, I know you're mad, but just listen. 331 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:39,517 You know this wasn't totally my fault. 332 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:43,277 I mean, sure, maybe it was a little bit, but really we kind just got unlucky! 333 00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:45,277 I know you think we had it made with the dumpster, 334 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:46,957 working in Milan and sleeping in Sicily. 335 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,597 But we can appeal the decision! 336 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,997 Everything's gonna work out, I'm telling you. 337 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,437 My entire life's in shambles, all because you got jealous. 338 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:56,920 How am I supposed to tell Maria Teresa I got fired? 339 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,360 I really just don't wanna talk to you. 340 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,000 No, my friend, you don't mean that! 341 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:08,720 My friend? 342 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,080 Hm? 343 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:15,800 -Where do these go? -Hm? 344 00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:17,840 Table seven. 345 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:21,720 Hello! 346 00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,397 Here you go, enjoy. 347 00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:30,117 What the hell?! What are you doing? 348 00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:31,760 Unbelievable. 349 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,520 After the tone, please record your message. 350 00:18:38,120 --> 00:18:38,957 Hi there! 351 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,117 -Good evening. -Hi. 352 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,322 -Good evening. -Hello. 353 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,200 No one's coming in. 354 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:50,237 Hello, this is Valentino, how can I help you today? 355 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:52,837 Val, it's me. I've called ten times trying to get you... 356 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,317 Exactly what don't you understand about not calling me at work? 357 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,277 In fact, you shouldn't be calling me at all. 358 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:00,157 You got that, idiot? Because now, Salvo, you're my ex! 359 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:01,077 So guess what? 360 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:02,917 You have to be respectful, and move abroad! 361 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,171 As abroad as you can go! 362 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,480 Is that... 363 00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:21,917 And how's the shop coming along? 364 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,760 Good. Good. 365 00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:25,947 And how are things at the hospital? 366 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,677 Uh, yeah, they're good too. 367 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,877 Thank God. 368 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,237 Thank God, indeed. 369 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:32,877 Hey, Dad, do you think I can maybe come to Milan? 370 00:19:32,960 --> 00:19:35,800 So I can visit you at work and meet all your friends? 371 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:39,280 Sure, of course. Daddy would love that. 372 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,320 EX FRIEND 373 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:55,560 After the tone, please record your message. When you have... 374 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,037 Welcome home! I was getting worried. 375 00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:11,797 Just thought I'd cook up a couple of things, 376 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:13,200 stuff we had in the fridge. 377 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:15,917 I figured we could sit down and have a good talk. 378 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,277 You must be exhausted after that long day at work, 379 00:20:18,360 --> 00:20:19,760 so let's just have a laugh. 380 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,000 Val? 381 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:24,360 Hm. 382 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,440 You don't have any Indian papaya? 383 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,517 No. 384 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:32,197 And what about quinoa? Preferably Bolivian. 385 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,917 Ah, but I'd settle for Peru. 386 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:37,717 Perhaps you'd like to try our carrots from Ispica that improve your eyesight. 387 00:20:37,800 --> 00:20:40,517 So that next time you come in, you'll be able to read our sign, 388 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:42,117 "Farm to Table." 389 00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,277 -And stop asking for all that stupid shit! -Claudia, no, no! 390 00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:49,560 -Look, you scared our only customer! -He's a moron. Ugh! Ugh! Huh? 391 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,976 Sure, buddy, I'll grab you tonight. What are best friends for? 392 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:57,160 It's all right, pal, you know I love you. 393 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,437 Come on, dude. 394 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,917 You know you're more than a friend, you're a brother. 395 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,360 Ah, no, you're the best! 396 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,117 After much consideration and thought, we have, once and for all, 397 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,717 found a way to unite Italy. 398 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:15,997 It is my honor to announce a new bridge that'll connect Sicily to Calabria. 399 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,197 This project will put an end to the problems 400 00:21:18,280 --> 00:21:20,117 that have plagued the south for too long. 401 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,517 Issues like droughts and water shortages will be a thing of the past. 402 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,720 Here you go, sir. You were right. 403 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,837 Another one's disappeared, sir. Seems like it was stolen. 404 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,600 -Where? -In Sicily. 405 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:43,440 Here are the images. 406 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:44,960 I'll go. 407 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,077 Listen, you. 408 00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:56,557 Last night you flushed the toilet at 3:37 in the morning. 409 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,077 -But I... -I understand you had to go for a pee-pee. 410 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,277 But you could've waited and flushed at a more reasonable hour. Huh? 411 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:06,760 And here I thought I rented my apartment to a reasonable member of society! 412 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,717 Don't worry about the smell, you get used to it. 413 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,120 Honestly, no one really notices it. 414 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,917 Once you get past the initial shock, it's really incredible. 415 00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:31,917 Val and I couldn't wait to share this. 416 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,840 -Thank you. This is amazing. -I know, right? 417 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,960 Ah... 418 00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,957 I knew there was a reason I didn't see you at the airport. 419 00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:43,077 Thank you. 420 00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,062 Now I'll have more time with my family. 421 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,293 And I can finally see my girlfriend when I want. 422 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,157 Bro, I've been looking for you all day to tell you. 423 00:22:51,240 --> 00:22:53,237 I think I may have finally found our solution! 424 00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,597 And this way, we'll be able to help everyone out. 425 00:22:55,680 --> 00:22:57,157 -And ourselves. -Ourselves? 426 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:58,240 Yeah! 427 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,040 Thanks, Val. 428 00:23:01,480 --> 00:23:02,480 Thank you. 429 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,840 Thank you. 430 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,437 I can't believe it. Wow. 431 00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:12,480 Huh? 432 00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,517 Oh, Salvo... promise me one thing, huh? 433 00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:21,397 We don't tell any more people about this, 'cause it's all very delicate. 434 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,477 Dude, I got you. It's for a select few people, that's it. 435 00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:25,717 -Yeah. -Eh? 436 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,400 What's up, you guys? 437 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,040 Who's up for a dip in Sicily, eh? 438 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:40,200 SICILY EXPRESS