1 00:00:02,253 --> 00:00:03,254 All right, out. 2 00:00:03,505 --> 00:00:04,881 - (EXHALING SHARPLY) - Up. 3 00:00:05,340 --> 00:00:06,966 Squeeze the pelvic floor. 4 00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,134 Jesus Christ, Marty. 5 00:00:08,218 --> 00:00:10,154 You're putting an awful lot of effort into this one. 6 00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:11,262 - Ma'am, you can't- - Help. 7 00:00:11,346 --> 00:00:12,347 I'll just be a second. 8 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:14,641 (GROANS) 9 00:00:14,891 --> 00:00:17,477 - What? - I'm not doing fewer dates. 10 00:00:17,769 --> 00:00:19,062 Well, it really wasn't a request. 11 00:00:19,187 --> 00:00:20,706 Well, I don't know who you're gonna get. 12 00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:21,940 Did you hear about Pentatonix? 13 00:00:22,190 --> 00:00:23,441 - What? - Well, Steve Wynn 14 00:00:23,525 --> 00:00:25,026 found out about your offer somehow 15 00:00:25,401 --> 00:00:26,986 and gave them dates at the Encore. 16 00:00:27,529 --> 00:00:29,423 Huge up-front guarantee they didn't even counter. 17 00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:30,448 Fuck. 18 00:00:31,658 --> 00:00:33,493 Oh, take it easy on his pelvic floor. 19 00:00:33,952 --> 00:00:35,192 You really want to do this, Deb? 20 00:00:35,995 --> 00:00:37,389 You really want to try to fuck me here? 21 00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:40,500 Oh, Marty. I'll never be doing that again. 22 00:00:40,959 --> 00:00:42,335 He leaves his t-shirt on, you know? 23 00:00:42,418 --> 00:00:43,628 Oh- (SCOFFS) 24 00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,422 That's not true. (SCOFFS) 25 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:47,715 Okay. 26 00:00:47,799 --> 00:00:49,259 I'm gonna eat that apple 27 00:00:53,513 --> 00:00:55,974 (ALARM BEEPING) 28 00:01:00,937 --> 00:01:02,855 MAN: And now for the KTVZ weather report. 29 00:01:02,939 --> 00:01:06,317 Expect highs of 111 degrees in Clark County today, 30 00:01:06,401 --> 00:01:08,111 so make sure to stay out of the sun. 31 00:01:08,319 --> 00:01:09,719 Common savers can now take advantage 32 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:13,241 of relaxed withdrawal rules around 401Ks. 33 00:01:13,616 --> 00:01:14,885 WOMAN: That's exactly right, Joe. 34 00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:17,370 You know, a lot of people are taking losses 35 00:01:17,453 --> 00:01:19,247 and do need extra help, but actually... 36 00:01:21,457 --> 00:01:22,834 Sometimes it might seem 37 00:01:22,917 --> 00:01:24,460 That I'm neglecting you 38 00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,463 But I'd love to spend more time 39 00:01:27,839 --> 00:01:30,758 I got so many things to do Oh 40 00:01:30,842 --> 00:01:32,468 I 41 00:01:32,552 --> 00:01:34,596 I got work to do 42 00:01:34,679 --> 00:01:35,680 Morning. 43 00:01:35,763 --> 00:01:37,056 I got work, baby 44 00:01:37,140 --> 00:01:38,725 I got work to do I gotta get 45 00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:39,809 Got work to do 46 00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:40,893 Hey, baby 47 00:01:40,977 --> 00:01:43,271 I gotta get, yeah... 48 00:01:43,354 --> 00:01:45,189 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 49 00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:47,313 He's a miracle worker. There's nothing you can't do. 50 00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,212 WOMAN: So we're thinking of doing the fuzzy slippers 51 00:01:50,236 --> 00:01:51,863 instead of the glitter wrapping paper. 52 00:01:51,946 --> 00:01:54,049 DEBORAH: Good, the fuzzy slippers always sell really well. 53 00:01:54,073 --> 00:01:55,426 And can we get color options on that too? 54 00:01:55,450 --> 00:01:56,760 - (MICROWAVE BEEPING) - Of course. 55 00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:57,785 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION) 56 00:02:01,122 --> 00:02:03,499 (ALARM BEEPING) 57 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,294 (GRUNTS) 58 00:02:12,634 --> 00:02:15,845 (HORNS HONKING DISTANTLY) 59 00:02:20,391 --> 00:02:21,392 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 60 00:02:21,476 --> 00:02:23,478 - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - Excuse me. 61 00:02:24,062 --> 00:02:25,396 - (BABY CRYING) - Sorry. 62 00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:28,274 (ELEVATOR DINGS) 63 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,153 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 64 00:02:59,430 --> 00:03:00,723 (FAINT COUGHING) 65 00:03:01,516 --> 00:03:03,393 The non-smoking section's over there. 66 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:04,852 Thanks. 67 00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:08,374 (OVER PA SYSTEM) Can I get your attention please? 68 00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:10,650 All casino employees are reminded 69 00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:12,694 to submit timecards by 5:00 p.m. 70 00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:16,048 - All timecards must be turned in by 5:00 p.m. - (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 71 00:03:16,072 --> 00:03:17,073 to be paid in a timely... 72 00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:18,300 - Hey. - JIMMY: Hey, beautiful. 73 00:03:18,324 --> 00:03:19,426 I keep thinking about last night. I- 74 00:03:19,450 --> 00:03:21,290 I didn't think it was gonna be so ticklish but- 75 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:23,079 - What the fuck? - Wait, who is this? 76 00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,289 Ava, your client. You called me. 77 00:03:25,373 --> 00:03:26,374 Kayla! 78 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,793 Oh. Yes. 79 00:03:29,127 --> 00:03:31,379 You are next on my call sheet. I was about to call you. 80 00:03:31,462 --> 00:03:33,881 But, um, how're you doing? How's Vegas? 81 00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:36,151 Are you and Deborah Vance Thelma and Louise yet or what? 82 00:03:36,175 --> 00:03:38,886 No, but, uh, but I do want to drive off a cliff. 83 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,471 How long do I have to do this? 84 00:03:40,555 --> 00:03:42,932 - Well, it's been three days, so longer than that. - (SIGHS) 85 00:03:43,057 --> 00:03:44,809 I... I don't even know what I'm doing here. 86 00:03:44,934 --> 00:03:46,537 You're there to write material for Deborah's show, you know, 87 00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:49,105 punch ups for appearances and things like QVC, and, you know, 88 00:03:49,188 --> 00:03:50,648 - any personal joke writing- - Yeah. 89 00:03:50,732 --> 00:03:52,042 I know the literal job description. 90 00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:54,110 I signed a 470-page NDA. 91 00:03:54,402 --> 00:03:56,487 - Seems right. - (LAUGHS) God! 92 00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,114 (LAUGHING CONTINUES) 93 00:03:58,406 --> 00:03:59,407 Too much. 94 00:03:59,490 --> 00:04:01,576 - Okay, Kayla. You're supposed to be on mute. - Yeah? 95 00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:04,036 Oh, I am. I just pushed the thing, bud. 96 00:04:04,245 --> 00:04:06,706 Okay, bud. We can hear you. So you're definitely not. 97 00:04:06,789 --> 00:04:09,109 Oh, don't worry. I'm not listening. I'm laughing at a meme. 98 00:04:09,250 --> 00:04:11,228 - It's like a- there's a Minion with a big eyeball. - Okay. 99 00:04:11,252 --> 00:04:13,188 You're supposed to be listening. We talked about this. 100 00:04:13,212 --> 00:04:14,756 You listen and you take notes, right? 101 00:04:14,881 --> 00:04:17,049 Yeah. So- okay. Where's my notebook? 102 00:04:17,258 --> 00:04:18,801 Hey, I need to leave early. 103 00:04:18,885 --> 00:04:20,428 I have an adult ballet recital. 104 00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,990 Like, just, I can't miss this one because I missed last week. 105 00:04:23,014 --> 00:04:24,134 It just wouldn't make sense. 106 00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:25,600 The whole thing will be off. 107 00:04:25,683 --> 00:04:26,843 Should I leave you two alone? 108 00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:28,120 Kayla, can you jump off, please? 109 00:04:28,144 --> 00:04:29,437 - No problemo. - Thank you. 110 00:04:30,146 --> 00:04:31,814 Testing, Kayla, testing, testing. 111 00:04:31,981 --> 00:04:33,566 - Okay. - You need to fire her. 112 00:04:33,691 --> 00:04:36,360 I would if I could but her father owns half the company 113 00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,279 so she's essentially my assistant and my boss. 114 00:04:38,488 --> 00:04:40,823 How does everyone have rich parents except for me? 115 00:04:40,907 --> 00:04:42,533 Look. Just hang in there, okay? 116 00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:44,160 Every job has a learning curve, right? 117 00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,430 - When I was 15, I took a summerjob- - Jimmy, I gotta go. 118 00:04:46,454 --> 00:04:48,374 If I don't keep moving, I remember that I'm here. 119 00:04:50,583 --> 00:04:53,023 Are you there? You don't say goodbye. She doesn't say goodbye. 120 00:04:53,586 --> 00:04:55,022 All right, Kayla, you want to come in here? 121 00:04:55,046 --> 00:04:56,339 Let's talk about this dance. 122 00:04:57,632 --> 00:04:58,817 DEBORAH: I really like the jade. 123 00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,635 I do too. But normals like subway tile. 124 00:05:00,802 --> 00:05:02,553 (LAUGHS) Oh, God, they do. 125 00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:04,972 I don't know, Marcus. It's your flip. 126 00:05:05,056 --> 00:05:07,642 - What's going on here? - Marcus flips properties on the side, 127 00:05:08,142 --> 00:05:09,393 like they do on HGTV. 128 00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,771 - I'm torn. - Let's ask her. Jade or white? 129 00:05:14,190 --> 00:05:15,191 Uh, I... 130 00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:17,318 think the white. 131 00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:20,830 - Let's go with the jade. - Yeah, absolutely. 132 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:22,573 Let me know how it goes. 133 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:24,826 So, do you think today 134 00:05:24,909 --> 00:05:27,109 you'll have time to look over what I've been working on? 135 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,747 - Sure, just give me a minute. - All right. 136 00:05:29,914 --> 00:05:31,634 I noticed you weren't at my show last night. 137 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,252 Oh, sorry. I came the night before. 138 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,753 I figured it was probably the same. 139 00:05:36,462 --> 00:05:37,981 - Should I be coming- - (MACHINE HISSING) 140 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,341 - Oh, crap! - WOMAN: I'll get it. 141 00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:42,009 No, no, no, you're busy. I'll get it. 142 00:05:42,718 --> 00:05:43,845 (GRUNTS) 143 00:05:49,433 --> 00:05:50,434 (SIGHS) Excuse me. 144 00:05:54,105 --> 00:05:55,273 (TANK CLATTERS) 145 00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,037 There we go. (GRUNTS) 146 00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:23,217 (SIGHS) 147 00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,221 Okay, let's go. 148 00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,354 Hmm. 149 00:06:36,814 --> 00:06:37,815 Is that a good "hmm"? 150 00:06:38,190 --> 00:06:39,191 No. 151 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,403 Most of these are unusable but, um, 152 00:06:43,029 --> 00:06:44,030 this part works. 153 00:06:48,618 --> 00:06:49,619 Oh, cool. 154 00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:51,579 The set up. 155 00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:57,627 You a lesbian? 156 00:06:58,753 --> 00:06:59,754 Um... 157 00:07:00,755 --> 00:07:02,173 Not sure you can ask me that. 158 00:07:02,423 --> 00:07:04,425 Oh, what? Someone's gonna show up and arrest me? 159 00:07:04,717 --> 00:07:06,761 Since you're my employer, it is illegal. 160 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:09,472 But... 161 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:11,933 If you're genuinely curious, 162 00:07:12,767 --> 00:07:14,435 I used to only hook up with men, 163 00:07:14,810 --> 00:07:16,771 but when I masturbated, I thought about women. 164 00:07:16,854 --> 00:07:20,691 So, then in college, I finally hooked up with this amazing TA, Phoebe. 165 00:07:20,942 --> 00:07:24,195 And I realized that I could connect more emotionally with women, 166 00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:27,531 which led to deeper sexual experiences. 167 00:07:27,615 --> 00:07:31,994 But sometimes I do still need penetrative sex with a dick to come. 168 00:07:32,453 --> 00:07:35,247 But, I don't know, maybe I was just conditioned by the porn 169 00:07:35,331 --> 00:07:37,208 that was fed to me by the algorithm, you know? 170 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:41,212 So anyway, I'm bi. 171 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:45,174 Jesus Christ! 172 00:07:45,257 --> 00:07:48,097 I was just wondering why you were dressed like Rachel Maddow's mechanic. 173 00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:50,137 Great. So, the jokes? 174 00:07:51,305 --> 00:07:53,808 - You didn't like any? - They're not jokes. 175 00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:54,892 I mean, 176 00:07:55,810 --> 00:07:57,895 they're, like, thought poems? 177 00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:01,315 "I had a horrible nightmare that I got a voicemail." 178 00:08:04,735 --> 00:08:08,364 - What? - It's funny because voicemails are annoying. 179 00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:10,574 It's, like, just text. 180 00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:12,243 First of all, if you start a sentence 181 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,912 with "it's funny because," then it's probably not. 182 00:08:15,246 --> 00:08:17,456 And second, jokes need a punchline. 183 00:08:17,623 --> 00:08:18,749 Well, in my opinion, 184 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:21,752 traditional joke structure is very male. 185 00:08:22,336 --> 00:08:24,672 It's so focused on the ending. It's all about the climax. 186 00:08:24,755 --> 00:08:27,758 Oh, look who's talking. I just got a TED Talk about yours. 187 00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:31,679 - Deborah, Kiki's here. - Oh, great. Thanks, Josefina. 188 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:34,324 Sorry, are we done? What's happening? 189 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,468 I'm playing blackjack. I don't know what you're doing. 190 00:08:37,268 --> 00:08:38,748 Why don't you just play at the casino? 191 00:08:39,228 --> 00:08:41,856 Oh, casinos are disgusting. People smoke indoors. 192 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:44,442 - Yeah, I know. You make me live in one. - Ha! 193 00:08:44,817 --> 00:08:46,318 Hi, Deborah. 194 00:08:46,402 --> 00:08:48,529 Hello. Oh, cute hairdo. 195 00:08:48,612 --> 00:08:51,365 - Oh, thank you. - How's our little Luna? 196 00:08:51,449 --> 00:08:53,284 She's amazing! 197 00:08:53,367 --> 00:08:54,869 We just had her three-year check-up. 198 00:08:55,036 --> 00:08:57,329 - The doctor said her arms and legs are super long. - Oh! 199 00:08:57,455 --> 00:08:59,016 I think she's going to be a hip-hop dancer. 200 00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,332 (LAUGHS) Oh, good for her. 201 00:09:00,833 --> 00:09:03,044 Kiki, Ava. Deal her in. 202 00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,213 Oh. Oh, no. I-I don't really know how to play. 203 00:09:06,505 --> 00:09:07,785 Then why'd you follow me in here? 204 00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:10,051 Your call. 205 00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:12,720 Uh, hit me? 206 00:09:13,721 --> 00:09:15,181 You just moved here, huh? 207 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:18,893 Well, Vegas fucking slaps! You're gonna love it. 208 00:09:19,185 --> 00:09:20,545 Not if she keeps playing like that. 209 00:09:21,020 --> 00:09:23,731 Okay. Any, um- Any guidance for me? 210 00:09:24,065 --> 00:09:25,983 Always hit on 16 and double down on 11. 211 00:09:26,442 --> 00:09:28,611 Hilarious. I mean about the jokes. 212 00:09:28,986 --> 00:09:30,362 Anything in particular you want? 213 00:09:30,654 --> 00:09:33,014 Yes, there should be more of them, and they should be funny. 214 00:09:33,115 --> 00:09:34,450 Blackjack! Deborah! 215 00:09:34,533 --> 00:09:35,993 Yeah! Got a Blackjack! 216 00:09:36,077 --> 00:09:37,317 - Got a Blackjack! - Oh, my God. 217 00:09:38,746 --> 00:09:40,386 - Thanks for the ride. - Yeah, no problem. 218 00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:41,656 It's on the way to my next gig. 219 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,834 (CAR CHIRPS, ENGINE STARTS) 220 00:09:43,918 --> 00:09:46,212 Uh, nice car. 221 00:09:46,295 --> 00:09:47,630 So sick, right? 222 00:09:47,755 --> 00:09:50,341 Whenever Deborah gets a new Rolls, I get the old one. 223 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:52,259 This is my third. 224 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:58,140 AVA: I cannot believe she gave you this car. (CHUCKLES) 225 00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,309 So far all I've gotten is emotional abuse. 226 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,245 - Today she asked me- - (GASPS) Okay, that sounds like a bummer, 227 00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:03,270 but I've got to stop you. 228 00:10:03,479 --> 00:10:05,582 I've got to sing the chorus whenever this song comes on. 229 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:08,359 I needed to lose you to find me 230 00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:09,443 God. 231 00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:11,028 (SINGING ALONG) This dancing was 232 00:10:11,112 --> 00:10:13,572 Killing me softly 233 00:10:14,365 --> 00:10:18,160 I needed to hate you to love me, yeah 234 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,121 To love, love, yeah 235 00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:23,124 To love, love, yeah To love, yeah 236 00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:27,461 I needed to lose you to love me, yeah 237 00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,338 Oh, okay. 238 00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:30,464 You were complaining? 239 00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:34,885 Sorry. I-I know I'm lucky to have a job, genuinely, I do. 240 00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:37,638 I just, I don't understand why she's making it so hard. 241 00:10:37,805 --> 00:10:40,182 Listen, Deborah's a hustler like me. 242 00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:43,018 This dope shirt? This was hers. She gave it to me. 243 00:10:43,144 --> 00:10:45,229 Deborah had a glitter crop top? 244 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,315 Uh-uh, no. I had to cut off the sleeves and trim it. 245 00:10:48,524 --> 00:10:51,986 Point is, her shit is ugly, but the quality is there. 246 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:54,079 So if you can't make it good, that is on you. 247 00:10:56,115 --> 00:10:59,201 Oh, and don't kill me, but I'm gonna play that song two more times. Eeh. 248 00:10:59,577 --> 00:11:01,662 - Oh, this is a playlist? - Uh-huh. 249 00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:03,563 Then why did I have to stop talking? 250 00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:07,168 Honey, when you're on shuffle, any song can play at any moment 251 00:11:07,251 --> 00:11:08,794 and it is through that randomness 252 00:11:09,170 --> 00:11:10,963 that we can totally receive meaning. 253 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:17,261 I needed to lose you to find me 254 00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,638 I can see it in your eyes, you wanna. 255 00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:22,016 BOTH: Killing me softly 256 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:26,020 I needed to hate you to love me, yeah 257 00:11:26,103 --> 00:11:27,104 Oh, my God. 258 00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:28,856 BOTH: To love, love, yeah 259 00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:31,525 To love, love, yeah, to love, yeah 260 00:11:31,609 --> 00:11:32,610 Yeah! 261 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:35,529 BOTH: I needed to lose you to love me 262 00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:41,952 Uh, I'm sorry. 263 00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:43,037 I'm gonna- 264 00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,122 - Really? - Yeah. 265 00:11:45,414 --> 00:11:46,790 Oh, watch the drink. 266 00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:48,125 Sorry. 267 00:11:49,627 --> 00:11:50,628 Jesus. 268 00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,922 (SLOT MACHINES CHIMING) 269 00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:57,218 I'm sorry. I-I can't write in my room. 270 00:11:57,301 --> 00:11:59,421 My neighbors are having, like, performatively loud sex 271 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:01,910 and the business center is essentially like a fucking coke den. 272 00:12:02,431 --> 00:12:03,432 Okay. 273 00:12:05,267 --> 00:12:06,587 WOMAN: Hey, can I get you a drink? 274 00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:09,230 Oh, yes. Um, can I get a vodka soda? 275 00:12:09,313 --> 00:12:10,314 - Sure. - Yeah. 276 00:12:10,522 --> 00:12:11,642 Oh, drinks are on the house. 277 00:12:11,899 --> 00:12:14,026 Oh, can I get two? (LAUGHS) 278 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:15,402 Oh, I'll get you three, sweetie. 279 00:12:15,486 --> 00:12:16,487 (SLOT MACHINE CHIMES) 280 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:17,571 Yes! 281 00:12:19,156 --> 00:12:20,676 Do you want me to show you how to play? 282 00:12:21,075 --> 00:12:23,118 - Sure, yeah. - Well, you have to match up 283 00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:24,745 the hamsters with the tabby cats. 284 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:25,913 The tabby cats. 285 00:12:26,247 --> 00:12:27,748 - There you go. - Thank you. 286 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,376 - Oh, enjoy. - You too. 287 00:12:30,584 --> 00:12:32,586 - Thanks. - Enjoy? You too? 288 00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:38,759 Nothing from nothing leaves nothing 289 00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,553 - Oh, my God, yes! - Yes! 290 00:12:41,637 --> 00:12:43,097 If you wanna be with me 291 00:12:44,098 --> 00:12:45,099 Chill, chill. 292 00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:46,183 - Christina. - Whoo! 293 00:12:46,392 --> 00:12:47,393 Have fun at Disney World. 294 00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:48,644 (LAUGHING) 295 00:12:49,478 --> 00:12:52,356 This game is such fucking capitalist bullshit. 296 00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:53,941 I won! Ah! 297 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:55,609 (LAUGHS) 298 00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,988 'Cause that minus is too low to see 299 00:13:00,281 --> 00:13:03,617 (RHYTHMIC THUMPING) 300 00:13:07,496 --> 00:13:09,498 (MOANING) 301 00:13:14,503 --> 00:13:17,214 Things are changing 302 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:21,385 Things are changing 303 00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:24,680 It's looking good 304 00:13:25,848 --> 00:13:28,642 It's looking good 305 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:31,437 Things are changing, baby 306 00:13:32,104 --> 00:13:33,105 Yes? 307 00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:36,400 Oh, um, I was just wondering if you got a chance 308 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:38,569 to read any of the new stuff I sent for tonight? 309 00:13:39,153 --> 00:13:40,154 I did. 310 00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:42,781 And? 311 00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:44,658 Better. 312 00:13:44,825 --> 00:13:46,452 Oh. Great. 313 00:13:46,952 --> 00:13:49,580 Um, it'll be great to hear them with a crowd. 314 00:13:49,663 --> 00:13:51,123 - Fifteen, Ms. Vance. - Thank you. 315 00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,708 (LAUGHTER) 316 00:13:53,042 --> 00:13:55,669 Oh, but I do love my wine, though. 317 00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,630 Now, I wouldn't say I'm an alcoholic. 318 00:13:58,922 --> 00:13:59,923 I'd slur it. 319 00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,133 (LAUGHTER) 320 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,510 But my idea of a perfect evening 321 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,096 is a glass of wine, 322 00:14:06,472 --> 00:14:08,682 and if I'm feeling a little frisky, 323 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,976 I'll pop in an adult film. 324 00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,311 (LAUGHTER) 325 00:14:12,394 --> 00:14:13,395 But here's the trick. 326 00:14:13,771 --> 00:14:16,398 I watch it in reverse. 327 00:14:16,648 --> 00:14:17,649 (LAUGHTER) 328 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,152 Because then it's about being rewarded for sex. 329 00:14:21,320 --> 00:14:23,906 - With a pizza! - (LAUGHTER) 330 00:14:23,989 --> 00:14:25,199 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 331 00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:30,329 Have a good night. 332 00:14:31,872 --> 00:14:33,248 You said my jokes were better. 333 00:14:33,374 --> 00:14:35,751 - They were. - Well, you didn't use any. 334 00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:39,588 They were better because you stole them from yourself. 335 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:41,340 Half were from your film script. 336 00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,218 The others were clearly dated rehashes you threw in. 337 00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:45,719 - You read my script? - Yes. 338 00:14:46,220 --> 00:14:48,156 I had Jimmy send me everything you've ever written. 339 00:14:48,180 --> 00:14:49,181 I do my research. 340 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:52,601 So the next time you try to half-ass something, I... 341 00:14:58,440 --> 00:14:59,441 Son of a... 342 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:00,609 There she is. 343 00:15:00,901 --> 00:15:01,902 How dare you! 344 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:03,432 Well, if I don't have Pentatonix, 345 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:04,738 I've got to promote you, right? 346 00:15:05,030 --> 00:15:06,240 And the truth is, 347 00:15:06,782 --> 00:15:09,576 is you don't make me nearly as much money as lobster tail. 348 00:15:10,369 --> 00:15:12,579 But if it's any consolation, 349 00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:16,333 I bet you taste just as good dipped in butter. 350 00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:38,939 Um, I just- 351 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,650 I wanted to say I'm sorry that I gave you... 352 00:15:43,444 --> 00:15:46,071 up-cycled material yesterday. 353 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,533 The crowd loved the show last night. 354 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:54,079 You might wanna lose that joke about Anna Nicole Smith though, 355 00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:55,456 as she is... 356 00:15:56,874 --> 00:15:57,958 long dead. 357 00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,252 Let me get this straight. 358 00:16:02,838 --> 00:16:05,132 You not only don't write me anything funny 359 00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:07,134 or even original, 360 00:16:08,469 --> 00:16:11,972 and now you're telling me what jokes not to do? 361 00:16:12,347 --> 00:16:13,807 I'm sorry. (SIGHS) 362 00:16:15,976 --> 00:16:18,854 I think it's just been hard to write in your voice when I don't know you. 363 00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,067 You know what? 364 00:16:25,110 --> 00:16:26,111 You make a good point. 365 00:16:26,487 --> 00:16:27,654 Why don't we... 366 00:16:28,906 --> 00:16:29,907 take a little drive? 367 00:16:30,449 --> 00:16:32,469 You can get to know me better on a little road trip. 368 00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:33,494 Okay, cool. 369 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:35,961 Wait. What about- what about the show tonight? 370 00:16:35,996 --> 00:16:37,706 Ah! We'll be back in time. I'll speed. 371 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,253 AVA: Um, what do you think about the climate crisis? 372 00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,547 In theory, I'm an environmentalist 373 00:16:45,631 --> 00:16:48,634 but in practice, paper straws taste like a cardboard worm. 374 00:16:48,717 --> 00:16:50,677 Uh-huh. Hey, why don't you turn on the radio? 375 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:53,180 All right. 376 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:57,226 Whoa, do you have, like, huge hands? 377 00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:01,647 Um, I think they're normal size. 378 00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:03,982 No, no. They look like catcher's mitts. 379 00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,735 Your manicurist must use a paint roller. 380 00:17:06,860 --> 00:17:08,278 Okay. You know, some people think 381 00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,989 it's pretty cheap to make fun of other people's appearances. 382 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:12,241 Yeah. 383 00:17:12,533 --> 00:17:13,534 Ugly people. 384 00:17:17,287 --> 00:17:18,288 AVA: Sorry. 385 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,099 Had I known the drive was this long, 386 00:17:20,123 --> 00:17:21,351 I would have peed before we left. 387 00:17:21,375 --> 00:17:22,501 All right, well, just hurry. 388 00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:26,797 Oh, wait, while you're in there, you might as well get me a Diet Coke 389 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:29,550 from the fountain. 390 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:30,801 Okay! 391 00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,095 Jesus. (GRUNTS) 392 00:17:36,139 --> 00:17:37,140 Oh. 393 00:17:37,683 --> 00:17:39,101 Hey. Do you have a reusable cup? 394 00:17:57,953 --> 00:17:58,954 (GRUNTS) Here you go. 395 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:01,081 Where's the change? 396 00:18:01,373 --> 00:18:03,375 Oh, it was only, like, 27 cents or something. 397 00:18:03,500 --> 00:18:04,501 Go back and get it. 398 00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:05,919 (LAUGHS) 399 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:11,258 Okay. 400 00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,597 (SIGHS) I should've finished college. 401 00:18:32,154 --> 00:18:33,739 Get up, get on the floor 402 00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,073 Put your hands up 403 00:18:35,991 --> 00:18:39,036 It's a love shakedown 404 00:18:39,119 --> 00:18:40,787 Okay. You see that antique shop there? 405 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,749 Uh, yeah. 406 00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,626 Okay. I want you to go in there, 407 00:18:46,585 --> 00:18:48,128 and I want you to buy 408 00:18:49,212 --> 00:18:50,589 this for me. 409 00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:53,425 I'm sor- I'm sorry, what? 410 00:18:53,550 --> 00:18:54,551 What is- what is that? 411 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:56,887 That is a Jean Royère pepper shaker. 412 00:18:57,387 --> 00:18:58,388 And I want it. 413 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,032 But I can't go in. He'll gouge me. You'll get a much better deal. 414 00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:02,267 Oh, my God. 415 00:19:03,018 --> 00:19:04,645 That's why we drove all the way out here. 416 00:19:04,728 --> 00:19:06,998 You-you didn't want to spend time getting to know each other. 417 00:19:07,022 --> 00:19:08,815 You just wanted a pepper shaker mule. 418 00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:13,338 Okay, when you go in there, don't make a beeline for the pepper shaker 419 00:19:13,362 --> 00:19:14,464 because he's gonna know you want it, 420 00:19:14,488 --> 00:19:16,406 so, you know, kind of casually browse, 421 00:19:16,615 --> 00:19:18,255 you know, look at a couple of other things 422 00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,660 but then, when you do, 423 00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:24,039 offer him five, but go up to ten if you have to. 424 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,167 I'm sorry. Is this $10,000? 425 00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:30,879 For... for a pepper shaker? (SCOFFS) 426 00:19:31,004 --> 00:19:32,673 Royère never made tableware. 427 00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:34,466 It's very rare. 428 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:37,844 - (SIGHS) - Okay, now don't mention my name. 429 00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:41,556 Oh, and tell him it's personal to you. He loves a story. 430 00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:44,142 Hurry up! 431 00:19:51,316 --> 00:19:53,694 I hope you're donating regularly to Planned Parenthood. 432 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,195 - Go! - (CAR HORN BLARES) 433 00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:01,979 - (BELL JINGLES) - Well, hi there. 434 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,203 Hi, how's it goin'? 435 00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,872 Can I help you find something special? 436 00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:08,875 Um, no, I'm just browsing. 437 00:20:14,798 --> 00:20:15,799 (WHISTLES) 438 00:20:21,179 --> 00:20:23,432 Um, how much is this? 439 00:20:24,099 --> 00:20:25,142 Well, look at you. 440 00:20:26,143 --> 00:20:27,686 - You have great taste. - (LAUGHS) 441 00:20:27,853 --> 00:20:29,893 That's one of the most valuable pieces in the store. 442 00:20:30,063 --> 00:20:32,566 Oh, mmm, yeah. That's... 443 00:20:33,024 --> 00:20:34,025 It's French, 444 00:20:34,276 --> 00:20:36,236 Sevres porcelain, signed, 445 00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:39,614 early 19th century, with exceptional provenance. 446 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,743 It was purchased by a member of the Obenchain-McMillan family, 447 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:43,827 at auction in 1930. 448 00:20:44,536 --> 00:20:45,537 Cute. 449 00:20:45,620 --> 00:20:48,749 It's listed for $32,000, but I could do... 450 00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:51,209 Twenty-eight today. 451 00:20:51,334 --> 00:20:53,044 Oh, mmm, okay. 452 00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:54,212 Maybe. 453 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:55,839 Maybe. 454 00:20:57,174 --> 00:20:59,593 Oh, um, you know, this just occurred to me. 455 00:21:00,093 --> 00:21:02,971 Do you have a pepper shaker? 456 00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:07,100 A single pepper shaker? 457 00:21:07,559 --> 00:21:10,312 Yeah. I love... them. 458 00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:14,941 I did list one... 459 00:21:16,443 --> 00:21:17,444 just today. 460 00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:25,786 AVA: Yep, yeah, wow. That's so nice. 461 00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:29,164 Uh, would you do 5,000? 462 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:33,895 - Are you here for Deborah Vance? - Yes. 463 00:21:33,919 --> 00:21:36,463 - I explicitly told you not to say my name. - He asked! 464 00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:37,756 Unbelievable! 465 00:21:37,923 --> 00:21:39,466 Well, well, well. 466 00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,384 She shows her face. 467 00:21:42,135 --> 00:21:43,970 I can't believe you would stoop so low 468 00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:47,307 as to hire some niche escort off Craigslist to do your dirty work. 469 00:21:47,390 --> 00:21:49,660 I wouldn't have to send anyone if you'd just sell it to me! 470 00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:52,354 I wasn't joking, Deborah. I will never sell to you. 471 00:21:52,604 --> 00:21:53,855 Oh, get over it! 472 00:21:53,939 --> 00:21:57,275 Do you know how many years I put in with that rancid gorgon 473 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,736 before she croaked? I played Parcheesi with her! 474 00:21:59,861 --> 00:22:04,950 And then you sweep in and buy the entire estate sale sight unseen. 475 00:22:05,033 --> 00:22:07,035 It's a free market! Come on! I'll give you 15. 476 00:22:07,327 --> 00:22:09,162 - No. - Oh, you stubborn ass! 477 00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:11,331 - Twenty? - Mmm-mmm, no. 478 00:22:13,542 --> 00:22:14,543 Okay, name your price. 479 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:17,337 An apology. 480 00:22:33,270 --> 00:22:34,271 No eating in the car. 481 00:22:41,236 --> 00:22:42,279 - (TIRE BLOWS) - Oh! 482 00:22:42,362 --> 00:22:43,697 (TIRES SCREECHING) 483 00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:52,956 AVA: Shit. 484 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,793 All right. Should we get the spare? 485 00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:01,798 It's a Rolls Royce, not a Suzuki Samurai. 486 00:23:01,882 --> 00:23:03,091 - There is no spare. - (SCOFFS) 487 00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,736 Thing's got heated cup holders. There's no fucking spare tire. 488 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,929 Okay, um, so we'll call Triple A. 489 00:23:08,013 --> 00:23:10,348 (STUTTERING) My show's in 90 minutes. I can't wait. 490 00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:14,060 Danny. Danny, hi. 491 00:23:14,227 --> 00:23:15,770 It's Deborah Vance. Hi, baby. 492 00:23:16,229 --> 00:23:18,148 I've got a flat, and I need to get to my show. 493 00:23:18,899 --> 00:23:19,900 Yeah, I need a ride. 494 00:23:20,233 --> 00:23:21,234 Can you pick me up? 495 00:23:22,068 --> 00:23:23,361 Oh! You're a sweetheart. 496 00:23:23,570 --> 00:23:25,739 Okay, I'm on Los Vegas Boulevard 497 00:23:26,323 --> 00:23:28,742 about um, 15 minutes north of Primm. 498 00:23:30,452 --> 00:23:32,412 You'll see me! Okay. 499 00:23:33,330 --> 00:23:36,666 (SIGHS) Yeah, that is shredded, 500 00:23:38,585 --> 00:23:39,586 shredded to the bone. 501 00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:43,423 (BIRD CAWS IN DISTANCE) 502 00:23:51,431 --> 00:23:53,431 So how long you gonna give me the silent treatment? 503 00:23:53,767 --> 00:23:56,895 It's not silent. You're breathing very loudly. 504 00:23:57,020 --> 00:23:59,814 You know, it's gonna be hard to work together if we can't communicate. 505 00:24:00,982 --> 00:24:02,317 We don't work together. 506 00:24:02,734 --> 00:24:03,777 You work for me. 507 00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:05,362 And not very well. 508 00:24:05,695 --> 00:24:07,447 You couldn't even do the one thing I asked. 509 00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:08,852 Well, I'm sorry I couldn't haggle 510 00:24:08,907 --> 00:24:13,036 for your Jean Valjean tchotchke or whatever but I-I'm a comedy writer. 511 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,287 Oh, my God. 512 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:26,707 AVA: You know, this isn't even about the pepper shaker. 513 00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:29,003 DEBORAH: It is most certainly about the pepper shaker. 514 00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:31,697 - No, I think you're just butthurt about that billboard, - (SIGHS IN EXASPERATION) 515 00:24:31,721 --> 00:24:33,056 and you're taking it out on me. 516 00:24:33,431 --> 00:24:35,475 Ooh! Great psychoanalysis. 517 00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:37,560 Oh, I get it. You're a therapist. 518 00:24:37,644 --> 00:24:39,771 That explains it. You're certainly not a writer. 519 00:24:39,854 --> 00:24:40,981 Yeah, how would you know? 520 00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:43,817 You barely give me the time of day! You skim my work. 521 00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:45,910 I never know where you want me to be or when. 522 00:24:45,986 --> 00:24:47,487 You don't give me any feedback. 523 00:24:48,029 --> 00:24:49,572 You're making it really hard! 524 00:24:52,492 --> 00:24:53,493 Hard? 525 00:24:54,577 --> 00:24:56,413 You think this- this is hard? 526 00:24:57,497 --> 00:24:58,581 You don't know what hard is. 527 00:24:59,332 --> 00:25:01,960 You got plucked off the internet at what, 20? 528 00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:03,420 - You just got lucky! - (SCOFFS) 529 00:25:03,753 --> 00:25:05,880 I may have been lucky, but I'm also good. 530 00:25:06,047 --> 00:25:07,048 Well, I should hope so. 531 00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:08,633 Good is the minimum. 532 00:25:08,758 --> 00:25:09,926 It's the baseline. 533 00:25:10,343 --> 00:25:12,012 You have to be so much more than good. 534 00:25:12,262 --> 00:25:14,180 And even if you're great and lucky, 535 00:25:14,347 --> 00:25:16,057 you still have to work really fucking hard! 536 00:25:16,182 --> 00:25:17,600 And even that is not enough. 537 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:20,895 You have to scratch and claw, and it never fucking ends. 538 00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,024 And it doesn't get better. 539 00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:27,110 It just gets harder. 540 00:25:27,944 --> 00:25:29,112 So don't complain to me 541 00:25:29,487 --> 00:25:31,031 that I'm making your life hard. 542 00:25:32,866 --> 00:25:34,266 You don't even know what that means. 543 00:25:35,618 --> 00:25:37,996 (HELICOPTER BLADES WHIRRING) 544 00:25:38,079 --> 00:25:39,122 Oh, good. My ride's here. 545 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:49,924 Uh, I- I don't think I'm comfortable riding in a local news chopper. 546 00:25:50,008 --> 00:25:51,384 Well, good, because you're not. 547 00:25:51,676 --> 00:25:52,886 You've got to get the car back. 548 00:25:53,053 --> 00:25:54,220 What, you're leaving me here? 549 00:25:54,471 --> 00:25:55,472 Yep! 550 00:25:56,431 --> 00:25:58,850 And don't run the AC. It's low on gas. 551 00:25:59,476 --> 00:26:00,477 Hey! 552 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,270 Lucky for you, you don't have to suffer 553 00:26:02,353 --> 00:26:04,064 through another one of my shows! 554 00:26:05,231 --> 00:26:06,232 Nice catch! 555 00:26:07,233 --> 00:26:08,234 Not surprised. 556 00:26:39,099 --> 00:26:40,100 Oh. 557 00:26:43,478 --> 00:26:44,479 Fuck. 558 00:26:45,271 --> 00:26:46,272 (HUFFS) 559 00:26:50,693 --> 00:26:51,694 (WHISPERS) Fuck it. 560 00:26:55,281 --> 00:26:56,783 KAYLA: Jimmy Lusaque Jr.'s office. 561 00:26:57,033 --> 00:26:58,326 Hi, Kayla. Can I talk to Jimmy? 562 00:26:59,744 --> 00:27:01,454 - It's... who is it? - Ava. 563 00:27:01,663 --> 00:27:03,123 Oh, my goodness! 564 00:27:03,456 --> 00:27:04,749 We've gotta go to the club, girl. 565 00:27:04,833 --> 00:27:06,459 (LAUGHS) Jimmy? 566 00:27:06,876 --> 00:27:08,545 You got a call. Ava. 567 00:27:10,130 --> 00:27:11,131 Jump on, babe. 568 00:27:12,132 --> 00:27:13,133 Hey, hey. How's it going? 569 00:27:13,258 --> 00:27:15,301 AVA: This woman left me in the middle of the desert. 570 00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:18,763 I-I'm so sorry, like, I will do any other job. 571 00:27:18,888 --> 00:27:20,557 What about Camilla? Her room? 572 00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:24,227 Uh, the job you quit after 11 days because you said it was basic? 573 00:27:24,310 --> 00:27:25,311 I don't think so. 574 00:27:25,645 --> 00:27:26,771 I can't do it, Jimmy. 575 00:27:27,272 --> 00:27:29,274 Uh, Ava, they want me to drop you. 576 00:27:29,649 --> 00:27:31,109 - Wait. What? Who? - The partners. 577 00:27:31,401 --> 00:27:34,081 I used this job with Deborah to convince them to let me keep you on. 578 00:27:34,529 --> 00:27:35,530 I-I don't wanna drop you. 579 00:27:35,655 --> 00:27:37,455 You're the first person I signed for a reason. 580 00:27:38,158 --> 00:27:40,535 Didn't you sign Lil Miquela before me though? 581 00:27:40,660 --> 00:27:43,746 Yes, but she's a CGI Instagram thirst trap bot, so it's different. 582 00:27:44,747 --> 00:27:46,875 Look, you can do this, okay? 583 00:27:47,208 --> 00:27:49,169 You just have to find a way to prove it to her. 584 00:27:49,836 --> 00:27:51,838 (SIGHS) Okay, okay. 585 00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:54,340 Hey, Jimmy. 586 00:27:55,133 --> 00:27:56,384 Do I have big hands? 587 00:27:58,094 --> 00:28:00,138 - I don't think so. - Yes, you do, girl. 588 00:28:00,221 --> 00:28:01,347 - Kayla! - What? 589 00:28:01,681 --> 00:28:04,285 They're not big. I wouldn't call them small, but I wouldn't call them big. 590 00:28:04,309 --> 00:28:05,310 Don't worry about it. 591 00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:11,441 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 592 00:28:12,692 --> 00:28:14,295 Where's the girl? Did you bury her in the desert? 593 00:28:14,319 --> 00:28:16,196 (LAUGHS) Not yet. 594 00:28:17,113 --> 00:28:18,114 Cue intro. 595 00:28:18,198 --> 00:28:21,117 MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, Deborah Vance! 596 00:28:21,201 --> 00:28:22,535 (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 597 00:28:23,036 --> 00:28:24,913 This donut, it's too small for this car. 598 00:28:25,205 --> 00:28:27,165 You can't drive faster than 50 miles per hour. 599 00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:29,417 - Great, thank you. - Yeah. 600 00:28:34,964 --> 00:28:37,217 (ENGINE REVS) 601 00:28:40,094 --> 00:28:41,888 I don't doubt 602 00:28:45,516 --> 00:28:48,186 Somebody's working harder now 603 00:28:49,229 --> 00:28:50,230 (DOOR OPENS) 604 00:28:50,647 --> 00:28:51,773 I'm closing! 605 00:28:53,566 --> 00:28:55,068 (DOOR CLOSES, BELL JINGLES) 606 00:28:56,194 --> 00:28:57,195 Jesus. 607 00:28:58,279 --> 00:28:59,280 What happened to you? 608 00:28:59,405 --> 00:29:01,241 It's, um- it's a long story. 609 00:29:03,117 --> 00:29:04,357 AVA: So, then I had to leave LA. 610 00:29:05,745 --> 00:29:07,389 It's pretty much the worst thing that's ever happened to me, 611 00:29:07,413 --> 00:29:08,414 and that's saying a lot, 612 00:29:08,581 --> 00:29:11,501 because my dad had a stroke the same day I chipped a veneer. 613 00:29:12,418 --> 00:29:14,938 And now, for your punishment, you've got to work for that woman? 614 00:29:16,005 --> 00:29:17,006 Poor girl. 615 00:29:17,215 --> 00:29:19,676 Life is random, but I- 616 00:29:21,135 --> 00:29:22,595 I think from that randomness 617 00:29:22,679 --> 00:29:24,973 we can totally receive meaning. 618 00:29:25,473 --> 00:29:27,558 And right now, for me, 619 00:29:28,101 --> 00:29:29,852 there's meaning in that pepper shaker. 620 00:29:29,936 --> 00:29:30,937 (CHUCKLES) 621 00:29:31,020 --> 00:29:33,690 Because of that one stupid tweet, 622 00:29:33,773 --> 00:29:35,984 I'm stranded in the Nevada desert, 623 00:29:36,526 --> 00:29:39,862 asking you to sell me an antique pepper shaker, 624 00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:41,781 because otherwise, 625 00:29:42,740 --> 00:29:44,993 I'll lose this job that I hate but... 626 00:29:46,452 --> 00:29:47,578 that I need. 627 00:29:47,912 --> 00:29:49,747 So, it's not for Deborah. 628 00:29:50,873 --> 00:29:51,874 It's for me. 629 00:29:52,959 --> 00:29:53,960 So, please. 630 00:29:55,962 --> 00:29:58,756 Will-will you just sell me the pepper shaker? 631 00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:03,803 No. 632 00:30:08,391 --> 00:30:09,392 Okay. 633 00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:11,311 I have to respect that. 634 00:30:11,978 --> 00:30:12,979 Good luck. 635 00:30:21,237 --> 00:30:22,631 - What are you doing? - Sell it to me. 636 00:30:22,655 --> 00:30:24,991 Are you out of your mind? That's one of a kind! 637 00:30:25,199 --> 00:30:27,327 Sell me it! I have nothing left to lose! I'll do it! 638 00:30:27,410 --> 00:30:29,162 - Just stop! Put it down! - Sell me it! 639 00:30:29,329 --> 00:30:31,015 You think you have nothing in common with Deborah Vance? 640 00:30:31,039 --> 00:30:32,165 No, you're the same! 641 00:30:32,582 --> 00:30:33,833 You're both psychotic bitches! 642 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,186 You have three seconds to take the money or I'm gonna do it! 643 00:30:36,210 --> 00:30:37,771 Please! Think of the Obenchain-McMillan family! 644 00:30:37,795 --> 00:30:40,131 I don't give a fuck about the Obenchain-McMillans! 645 00:30:40,214 --> 00:30:41,814 - They probably owned slaves! - (SOBBING) 646 00:30:41,966 --> 00:30:43,676 Fuck you, Lemony Snicket! 647 00:30:44,135 --> 00:30:46,971 One! Two! Three! 648 00:30:47,096 --> 00:30:49,057 (DOORBELL CHIMES) 649 00:30:49,932 --> 00:30:50,933 AVA: Here. 650 00:30:52,518 --> 00:30:53,519 And no. 651 00:30:54,312 --> 00:30:55,396 There was no change. 652 00:30:57,023 --> 00:30:58,024 You look like hell. 653 00:30:58,358 --> 00:31:00,360 Yeah, I had a pretty hard day. 654 00:31:03,154 --> 00:31:04,530 Oh, we can start early tomorrow. 655 00:31:05,323 --> 00:31:07,158 I can be ready for you at 10:00. 656 00:31:09,035 --> 00:31:10,036 Okay. 657 00:31:51,077 --> 00:31:52,620 - Oh, good morning. - Morning. 658 00:31:54,455 --> 00:31:57,875 So, I have been thinking more about what you said, and you're right. 659 00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:00,461 You do need to get to know me to write for me. 660 00:32:02,088 --> 00:32:03,506 - For real this time? - Yes. 661 00:32:05,216 --> 00:32:06,217 Cool. 662 00:32:06,426 --> 00:32:08,344 So. Come with me. 663 00:32:12,265 --> 00:32:13,683 This is everything I've ever done. 664 00:32:14,100 --> 00:32:16,894 Every joke I've ever written. Every show I've ever taped. 665 00:32:16,978 --> 00:32:19,772 Every TV appearance for the last 40 years. 666 00:32:20,815 --> 00:32:22,650 I want you to digitize it and organize it. 667 00:32:23,568 --> 00:32:27,196 - Well, I'm not... - Before you say anything, I know you're a writer. 668 00:32:28,614 --> 00:32:29,907 That's all material, honey. 669 00:32:34,954 --> 00:32:36,038 Uh, wha... 670 00:32:36,122 --> 00:32:38,458 Why can't we be friends? 671 00:32:38,791 --> 00:32:41,252 Why can't we be friends? 672 00:32:41,461 --> 00:32:43,671 Why can't we be friends? 673 00:32:44,005 --> 00:32:46,966 Why can't we be friends? 674 00:32:47,592 --> 00:32:51,387 I seen ya around for a long long time 675 00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:52,722 Yeah! (LAUGHTER) 676 00:32:52,805 --> 00:32:56,809 I remembered you when you drank my wine 677 00:32:56,976 --> 00:32:59,562 Why can't we be friends? 678 00:32:59,645 --> 00:33:02,148 Why can't we be friends? 679 00:33:02,231 --> 00:33:04,484 Why can't we be friends? 680 00:33:04,817 --> 00:33:07,695 Why can't we be friends? 681 00:33:08,362 --> 00:33:12,158 I've seen you walking down in Chinatown 682 00:33:12,241 --> 00:33:13,367 (GIGGLES) 683 00:33:13,451 --> 00:33:14,452 I called you 684 00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:17,747 But you could not look around 685 00:33:17,830 --> 00:33:20,333 Why can't we be friends? 686 00:33:20,416 --> 00:33:22,627 Why can't we be friends? 687 00:33:23,002 --> 00:33:25,254 Why can't we be friends? 688 00:33:25,630 --> 00:33:28,424 Why can't we be friends? 689 00:33:28,508 --> 00:33:30,343 I paid my money 690 00:33:30,426 --> 00:33:33,596 - To the welfare line - (LAUGHTER) 691 00:33:33,679 --> 00:33:35,848 I see ya standing in it 692 00:33:36,599 --> 00:33:38,434 Every time 693 00:33:38,518 --> 00:33:41,062 Why can't we be friends? 694 00:33:41,145 --> 00:33:43,105 Why can't we be friends? 695 00:33:43,189 --> 00:33:45,650 Why can't we be friends? 696 00:33:46,275 --> 00:33:49,111 Why can't we be friends? 697 00:33:49,862 --> 00:33:53,199 The color of your skin don't matter to me