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URBAN GUARD - POLICE
GETTING PAID WITHOUT WORKING
2
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ONE IS A BUM
WHOM WE SUPPORT WITH OUR TAXES
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[man] How's it looking?
4
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- There are a few good memes.
- [camera shutter clicking]
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- Don't hit like on any though.
- No, no.
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[man] This shoot will turn things around.
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[Miguel] Look meaner! There you go.
8
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Now look nicer. That's it.
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More confident. Come on.
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Can... Can you guys
try to show more confidence?
11
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Not that much, Feli.
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Now, a little sweetness, huh?
Try to look a little sweeter.
13
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Uh, Joni, show me some sweetness.
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More, huh? More.
15
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- Mm.
- [laughs]
16
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Impossible to get any sweeter than that.
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[photographer]
Can you rotate the girl, please?
18
00:00:52,583 --> 00:00:55,208
That's great right there.
You look perfect, Sofi.
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- Perfect face, right?
- [Miguel] Ah, Feli, that's it, that's it.
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- A blank stare. I love that!
- [Joni] Can you take mine now?
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[man] The minister asked us to really
highlight the whole minorities thing.
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What do you think?
23
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[Miguel] Edgardo, look that way.
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- Relax, everyone. Here, over here.
- How about we lose the curls here?
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That's good. Yeah, it's gonna look great.
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THIS CHARADE IS PAID BY OUR TAXES
URBAN GUARD
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COMMUNITY SQUAD
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[zipping]
29
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Wow, this is a big apartment
for just one person.
30
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Well, it was supposed to be for two, but...
31
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House warming gift!
Take it, your sister made it.
32
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What is it?
33
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[chuckle]
34
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- Try it. It's a stool. Go ahead.
- Oh.
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Try it, try it.
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It's really, really good!
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Spectacular!
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Don't you think that if you moved this,
it'd make the room more comfortable?
39
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But I don't have the time right now.
40
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But you're quitting, aren't you?
41
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It's not dangerous, Mom.
42
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Your shirt has a bloodstain, son.
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Right, I'm...
I'm having trouble getting it out.
44
00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:10,934
I was going to ask you about that,
but my phone's not working.
45
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- Fine, take it off, I'll wash it for you.
- I'm sorry, I can't right now.
46
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,059
- Why? We have to go? We just got here.
- I gotta work.
47
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- Thanks for the food.
- Put baking soda and soap on it.
48
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:21,375
You can also use bleach
and it'll get all the stains out.
49
00:02:21,458 --> 00:02:23,458
- Right.
- If you need anything, please call me.
50
00:02:23,541 --> 00:02:25,708
Yeah. The thing is
my phone's not working, Mom.
51
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- Listen Feli, about your cell phone.
- Yeah.
52
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I had to cancel the corporate phone line.
53
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I wanted to ask
if you could give me back the phone too.
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We're having a few issues
with payments, okay?
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- [Felipe] Okay.
- Don't tell your mom, or she'll...
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- What?
- Thanks.
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Love you.
58
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- You have my chip.
- [Daniel] I'll give it to you later, son.
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- Is it so hard for you to take him back?
- He's an urban guard, Adriana.
60
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It's just bad luck, it's an easy job.
He helps the elderly.
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[Adriana] Isn't his apartment a bit weird?
I don't know, I don't think he's alright.
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[doorbell beeps]
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- [Felipe] Who is it?
- Pest control.
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Yeah, I'm looking at it right now.
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URBAN GUARD
66
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No, no, of course, I wouldn't
do anything without checking in.
67
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Hey, I've got a customer.
Can I call you back in a minute?
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Thanks.
69
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Fuck!
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- Everything good?
- Yeah, not now.
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[tense music playing]
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Yeah, the drain is right here.
73
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I saw a little one walking
on the countertop the other day.
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And my girlfriend really hates them.
My ex, I guess.
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I don't know, it's confusing
when they ask for a break.
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[phone vibrates]
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You gonna get that?
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[phone vibrates]
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I'm about to start the fumigation.
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Listen to me, Doguito, uh,
when I told you to take care of it,
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I meant do a little research on him.
Only that.
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Because I'm seeing him everywhere,
his face is all over the city.
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And the Queen has issued
an order, you know?
84
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Although, I uh-
85
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I gotta ask about it just so I know
that we're not fucking up anything.
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I'd fumigate,
87
00:04:04,541 --> 00:04:06,958
- things would get messy.
- No, no, fumigate now, I'm here.
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Okay, whatever you say.
89
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So?
90
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[spraying]
91
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Thank you. You're the best, huh?
92
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I'm gonna get some things,
I'm late for my therapist.
93
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[tense music playing]
94
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Oh, you're doing everything,
and the living room?
95
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No, be careful with the TV. Careful.
96
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That's it, I'm done.
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And the bathroom?
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Ah.
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I mean my God.
100
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Yeah, I've told you 'bout my sister.
101
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She creates a foam stool
and she's a genius.
102
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I worked there 15 years,
gone only two days, they take my phone.
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[machine beeps]
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[Felipe] Exactly.
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Speaking of which...
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I feel bad, but...
107
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I wanted to borrow it since you don't...
108
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I'll give it back to you
after my first paycheck, okay?
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Diego?
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[machine beeps]
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Thanks.
112
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Well, just relax now. Yeah?
113
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The investigation's progressing.
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We'll catch them, I promise.
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So they said it's a cold case now.
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[Sofía] Oh, how quickly they forget
about martyrs, huh?
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- Wait a sec.
- [Núñez] Get in there.
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- Hey there. Any update on Diego?
- Yeah, got a few leads to look over.
119
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You can count on me for anything you need.
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I have some of his belongings,
so if there's anything...
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- Would you look at that, huh?
- Yeah.
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When we get to that part of investigation,
we'll give you a call.
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- [Miguel blows whistle]
- Feli, we're heading out to the park.
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- Let's go.
- Looks like you got an outdoor play date.
125
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- Hey, don't forget sunblock.
- [chuckling]
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- Yeah.
- [Miguel] Let's go, kids! Go, go! Come on.
127
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- There's no time to lose!
- Now they know we're staying on top of it.
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["Dance Crip" by Trueno playing]
129
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[Miguel] Today, we have
a tailor-made opportunity.
130
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A green weekend!
131
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We're here to ensure
that it goes smoothly.
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They asked for us.
133
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They're tired of the police.
134
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They want to show a friendlier image.
135
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That's why they called us.
136
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And because, well, the Parks and Rec guys
are on strike due to budget cuts,
137
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or what they call "trimming"...
but that's not important.
138
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No, the important thing is
that we cannot afford to miss this chance.
139
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We have to gain their respect.
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- Shitheads.
- Am I really that fat?
141
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It's just a nice back-and-forth dialogue
with the community.
142
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Okay? Don't let it get to you.
143
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- What happened?
- I'll tell you about it later.
144
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We're Palermo Division! Let's get out
and show them how capable we are.
145
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Why'd they shrink me down?
146
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- Go, go.
- [blows whistle]
147
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They shrank me.
148
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No, it's just a visual effect.
149
00:07:00,708 --> 00:07:01,958
Hey, we're holding a drawing.
150
00:07:02,041 --> 00:07:03,201
You can win a sustainable kit
151
00:07:03,250 --> 00:07:05,666
- that includes compost-based toothpaste...
- No, thank you.
152
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- Fucking asshole.
- [Vivian] Wow.
153
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We're making a great impression.
154
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It'd be nice to catch the prick
that's doing this joke on us, huh?
155
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That's just publicity.
Some will like you and others don't.
156
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- Try not to get upset.
- You look good in that cap, traitor, huh?
157
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Shut up, asshole.
I'm an urban guard, not a snitch!
158
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- Yeah, I know who you are, baby!
- [Vivian] Dumb bitch.
159
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I'm sorry, but there's
a bearded guy who often comes by.
160
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He's a strange weirdo.
161
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- Is he here now? Did you see the guy?
- [woman] He's here every day,
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carrying a spray can, walking around.
163
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[Vivian] Okay, describe him for me.
164
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Oh, his eyes are round,
black hair, and a sweatshirt.
165
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He wears a hoodie.
166
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Is this him?
167
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Exactly!
168
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Yeah, that's him.
169
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You know what, you're an absolute angel.
170
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You put in so much effort.
171
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And all alone,
you're all alone, poor little thing.
172
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I'm 39 years old, lady.
Please don't ever, ever, call me "little".
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Whatever you say, hon.
174
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Hey, you're beautiful.
175
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[honking]
176
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- [man] Hey, man, you can't...
- No, no.
177
00:08:03,875 --> 00:08:05,333
Oh, no, no.
178
00:08:05,416 --> 00:08:08,541
- [man 1] That's right! 200 meters!
- [man 2] Don't be ridiculous.
179
00:08:08,625 --> 00:08:10,208
That guy over there sells chorizo!
180
00:08:10,291 --> 00:08:13,125
- You're all a bunch of vegan fanatics.
- You shouldn't be here!
181
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:14,458
Is there a problem here?
182
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:17,208
Meat-head over here selling pork shoulder,
which isn't sustainable.
183
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:20,791
If he wants, he can sell his poison
on another day, but not today.
184
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,476
- This bully's gotta go, he's crazy.
- Shut up, you piece of trash!
185
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,416
- I'm Recycle Man, asshole!
- Murderer.
186
00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,083
Excuse me, man.
187
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There are places to do... certain things
and places for other things.
188
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:30,958
[woman] True, right.
189
00:08:31,041 --> 00:08:34,875
So I'm asking you, please, pretty please,
to go and come back another day.
190
00:08:34,958 --> 00:08:37,416
You don't have
anything better to do, that it?
191
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:41,083
This park is packed with drug dealers.
Why don't you take care of that instead?
192
00:08:41,833 --> 00:08:44,226
- Well, that's for the police.
- Yeah? So what's your job then?
193
00:08:44,250 --> 00:08:46,041
- Huh?
- We're watching the mallards.
194
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,458
The mallards?
195
00:08:47,541 --> 00:08:48,625
Okay, right, now I get it.
196
00:08:48,708 --> 00:08:51,708
So mallards need Mr. Guard to feed them,
or they'll become wild animals.
197
00:08:51,791 --> 00:08:52,958
He's making fun of you.
198
00:08:53,041 --> 00:08:54,666
- [man] You're an animal.
- Oh, dear God.
199
00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,500
Do you even have
a license to be here, sir?
200
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,708
If not, I have to ask you to leave.
201
00:08:59,791 --> 00:09:02,351
- [man 1] That's what I'm talking about.
- [man 2] That's very good.
202
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,125
- Thanks.
- [man 2] Good, way to go!
203
00:09:04,208 --> 00:09:06,351
[barbecue man]
It's clear none of you have actual jobs.
204
00:09:06,375 --> 00:09:09,791
- [man 2] Yes, that's how we do it. Bye!
- That's great, Feli.
205
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:12,041
- Very good.
- Well, it's nothing.
206
00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:13,125
[Miguel] Good job.,
207
00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:15,833
What am I supposed to do
with all this now?
208
00:09:15,916 --> 00:09:17,916
Oh, I wanna buy one of those, okay?
209
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000
- Yeah?
- Uh-huh.
210
00:09:19,791 --> 00:09:21,375
[blows whistle]
211
00:09:21,458 --> 00:09:23,833
["Dance Crip" by Trueno playing]
212
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,666
When you're done,
pick up the petals, okay?
213
00:09:29,250 --> 00:09:30,166
Guys, you cool?
214
00:09:30,250 --> 00:09:31,333
Really great photos, huh?
215
00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:33,166
Recyclable, organic!
216
00:09:33,250 --> 00:09:35,333
- Okay? Listen to Recycle Man.
- There you go. Here.
217
00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:36,541
There you go, good.
218
00:09:36,625 --> 00:09:37,625
Where do you put that?
219
00:09:37,666 --> 00:09:39,125
In here! Yeah! Okay!
220
00:09:39,208 --> 00:09:41,088
How about we organize
ourselves a little better?
221
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,750
There's where you
exchange your cash for "sustain-coins".
222
00:09:43,833 --> 00:09:48,250
And here, put in your order, grab it there
and then eat it over here. Are we clear?
223
00:09:48,333 --> 00:09:51,083
It's nothing. We just need
a little organization, that's all.
224
00:09:51,166 --> 00:09:53,184
- You're killing it man, yeah.
- Just doing my thing.
225
00:09:53,208 --> 00:09:54,848
Think you're ready to learn a nice trick.
226
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:57,035
- [grunt] This is how you pin someone down.
- It hurts.
227
00:09:57,083 --> 00:09:58,833
Yeah, that's the point. It hurts.
228
00:09:58,916 --> 00:10:01,375
Some say this is more effective than guns.
I prefer a pistol.
229
00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:04,208
- I agree.
- Very good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
230
00:10:04,291 --> 00:10:06,166
Is it alright that I stop you both?
231
00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:08,416
- We gotta go to a hostage situation.
- Yeah.
232
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:11,000
I won't bother you then.
It's important what you're doing here.
233
00:10:11,625 --> 00:10:13,000
- We're going.
- Yeah.
234
00:10:13,083 --> 00:10:14,958
- [Esteban] Let me try a little.
- No...
235
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,458
Ah, the paint is still wet!
236
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:22,559
[Vivian] Stop it, why are you so obsessed?
They didn't paint your face, look.
237
00:10:22,583 --> 00:10:24,223
I look like a criminal with a bad goatee.
238
00:10:24,291 --> 00:10:25,583
Why wouldn't I be obsessed?
239
00:10:25,666 --> 00:10:28,291
Because he pities me, he can't bully me.
That's it?
240
00:10:28,375 --> 00:10:31,708
Come on, draw something on me, man.
Look at how stupid I look in that!
241
00:10:31,791 --> 00:10:33,551
The one there has no paint.
Maybe he's tired.
242
00:10:33,583 --> 00:10:36,708
[Sofía] There's no way he's tired!
He's just taking his time.
243
00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:39,416
But he doesn't know about
the one thing I'm really good at.
244
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,500
Sitting and waiting.
245
00:10:40,583 --> 00:10:43,375
I wanna be done with the drawing
and just go to a poetry jam.
246
00:10:43,458 --> 00:10:45,791
I don't give a fuck
about the silly drawing, okay?
247
00:10:45,875 --> 00:10:47,315
I'm waiting for this guy to show up.
248
00:10:47,375 --> 00:10:51,208
Fine, baby, when you're able to chill,
just text me then, you got it?
249
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,291
- Where are you at?
- [man] Watch out!
250
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:56,583
- Careful! Careful, hey bro!
- [man] Oops!
251
00:10:56,666 --> 00:10:59,666
Look at all that mobility go to waste.
Genius, huh?
252
00:11:01,791 --> 00:11:05,083
[funky music playing]
253
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,333
Hey!
254
00:11:16,416 --> 00:11:18,500
- Beautiful.
- [camera shutter clicks]
255
00:11:18,583 --> 00:11:19,583
Shh! Come here.
256
00:11:19,666 --> 00:11:21,125
- What?
- Come here!
257
00:11:21,625 --> 00:11:22,541
- What?
- Look.
258
00:11:22,625 --> 00:11:24,291
LET'S RECYCLE!
LET'S HELP SAVE THE PLANET
259
00:11:24,375 --> 00:11:25,791
Look, look. Watch that guy.
260
00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:28,791
Take this. Look. Same guy, right?
261
00:11:31,250 --> 00:11:33,041
That's the guy vandalizing the posters.
262
00:11:33,125 --> 00:11:34,208
It's him, right?
263
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,875
- You think?
- Yeah, 100%.
264
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,250
Wanna help me out?
265
00:11:39,750 --> 00:11:43,000
At least he should apologize. I'm sick
and tired of being taken for a fool.
266
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:45,041
Okay.
267
00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:47,958
You go from the front,
and I'll go in back.
268
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,125
Move on him like pliers.
269
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,833
What-what's a plier?
270
00:11:50,916 --> 00:11:52,833
Tac, tac!
271
00:11:53,708 --> 00:11:54,541
What's up?
272
00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:55,625
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
273
00:11:55,708 --> 00:11:57,083
- Good.
- Oh, hey.
274
00:11:57,166 --> 00:11:58,458
Do you recognize us?
275
00:11:59,458 --> 00:12:01,541
Al Pacino and Stephen Hawking.
276
00:12:01,625 --> 00:12:04,017
- And who is Stephen Hawking?
- [Sofía] Can I ask for a favor?
277
00:12:04,041 --> 00:12:06,000
Will you open your bag
so I can check it out?
278
00:12:06,083 --> 00:12:08,041
You've got a search warrant?
279
00:12:08,125 --> 00:12:11,041
Man, look, all we want
is an apology. Okay?
280
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:15,125
It's one thing to do street art,
which we completely respect,
281
00:12:15,208 --> 00:12:17,458
and another thing to insult us, get it?
282
00:12:19,166 --> 00:12:21,351
I have no idea what you are
talking about, man. Beat it.
283
00:12:21,375 --> 00:12:22,791
- Oh, okay.
- [grunts]
284
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,791
[percussive music plays]
285
00:12:24,875 --> 00:12:27,083
- [Recycle Man] Hey, hey, hey! Dude! Hey!
- [grunts]
286
00:12:27,666 --> 00:12:29,416
What are you, crazy?
287
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,476
Hey! What are you doing?
Hey, hey, hey! What the...
288
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:33,726
- [Felipe] Thanks.
- Are you insane? What's wrong with you?
289
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:35,892
- You dropped this, man.
- Check if he's got a spray can.
290
00:12:35,916 --> 00:12:37,756
[Tacha] You can't go
through my stuff. Stop it!
291
00:12:37,833 --> 00:12:39,875
No. No, no.
292
00:12:40,375 --> 00:12:41,916
He's got a couple cellphones,
293
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:46,041
a little cocaine, a lot of molly,
but no... no spray cans.
294
00:12:46,125 --> 00:12:47,875
What are you, a dealer, moron?
295
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:50,500
- What do we do?
- [Recycle Man] Take him to the station.
296
00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:53,303
- Someone get in trouble there?
- Quiet, just keep painting, alright?
297
00:12:57,583 --> 00:12:58,583
That's it.
298
00:13:01,208 --> 00:13:03,375
Beautiful. Really good.
299
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:06,375
Move, lemme see.
300
00:13:06,458 --> 00:13:08,041
My friend is gonna love it.
301
00:13:08,125 --> 00:13:09,541
- You guys are weirdos, huh?
- Shh.
302
00:13:09,625 --> 00:13:11,583
Draw another penis in her mouth.
303
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:13,506
[Recycle Man] Freeze!
Freeze or I'll shoot you!
304
00:13:13,541 --> 00:13:16,000
- Thanks, dude.
- [Recycle Man] Sure. Anytime.
305
00:13:16,083 --> 00:13:17,958
- Yeah.
- Hey, I took a little bit.
306
00:13:18,041 --> 00:13:19,684
- I don't know if...
- It's fine, don't tell.
307
00:13:19,708 --> 00:13:21,750
- [Recycle Man] No? No?
- Don't tell me. Just go.
308
00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:23,708
[Recycle Man] Appreciate it.
309
00:13:26,625 --> 00:13:27,833
I already told the cops.
310
00:13:27,916 --> 00:13:30,541
They were at a barbecue,
but no way they'll believe this.
311
00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:33,500
You won't get a pat on the back
for catching me. I'm just a freelancer.
312
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,250
- Wanna tell us who your boss is?
- [scoffs]
313
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,583
I work for Woppy.
314
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:40,166
Do you take pride in your work?
315
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:41,708
Better than what you guys do here.
316
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:44,750
At least I provide a service.
I'm not living off the State though.
317
00:13:45,333 --> 00:13:46,625
I don't mean to disrespect you.
318
00:13:46,708 --> 00:13:48,500
I appreciate what you do.
You're very brave.
319
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:50,833
Ooh, a service?
320
00:13:50,916 --> 00:13:52,041
A service?
321
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:54,250
Alright, let's see what kind of service.
322
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:55,333
Alright, uh...
323
00:13:55,916 --> 00:13:58,166
- Well...
- Mmm. Mmm.
324
00:13:58,250 --> 00:14:00,166
You call this adulterated shit a service?
325
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:02,791
I'm sorry, but I don't think
you're my target customer.
326
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:05,791
Ah, because I'm handicapped,
I know nothing about drugs?
327
00:14:05,875 --> 00:14:09,708
Do you know how much codeine, Tramadol
and painkillers I have in my blood?
328
00:14:09,791 --> 00:14:12,083
I know. I'm sure you had
a very tough life, I apologize.
329
00:14:12,166 --> 00:14:13,083
No.
330
00:14:13,166 --> 00:14:14,791
- It wasn't that tough.
- My bad.
331
00:14:15,375 --> 00:14:20,375
But, I do know enough to realize
a few little things like, for example...
332
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:21,625
[snorting]
333
00:14:21,708 --> 00:14:22,583
[exhales]
334
00:14:22,666 --> 00:14:25,666
...that this stuff you're selling
is complete shit.
335
00:14:25,750 --> 00:14:28,750
- You snort funny. Do you want a bill?
- No. I like it bareback.
336
00:14:33,708 --> 00:14:35,416
Yeah. Yeah. [snorts]
337
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000
Oh, boy.
338
00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:38,666
This is very bad.
339
00:14:38,750 --> 00:14:39,875
It's really bad.
340
00:14:39,958 --> 00:14:41,916
Is this what you want
your children to use?
341
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:44,458
Huh? Just work with us, okay?
342
00:14:44,541 --> 00:14:46,041
Give us a name. Okay?
343
00:14:46,625 --> 00:14:49,465
- [Tacha] I dunno, uh... I dunno.
- Well, you gonna speak or keep quiet?
344
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,500
Huh?
345
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:52,208
Powder.
346
00:14:53,375 --> 00:14:54,935
- [Felipe snorts]
- Hey, chill out, bro.
347
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:57,541
[exhales] If you don't...
if you don't want to talk,
348
00:14:57,625 --> 00:14:59,333
we're not going to force you, okay?!
349
00:14:59,416 --> 00:15:00,333
I mean you can...
350
00:15:00,416 --> 00:15:02,136
you're free to do whatever
you want, got it?
351
00:15:02,166 --> 00:15:04,666
Oh man, what are we doing?
Good urban guard, bad urban guard?
352
00:15:04,750 --> 00:15:07,500
- I bet you're the good one.
- [sighs] Know what?
353
00:15:07,583 --> 00:15:09,934
- [Tacha] Hey, no.
- I've had it with you. You pissed me off.
354
00:15:09,958 --> 00:15:11,892
- [Sofía grunts]
- [Tacha] Do you need help there?
355
00:15:11,916 --> 00:15:13,583
No. Everything's crammed in here.
356
00:15:13,666 --> 00:15:14,750
Okay, what's going on here?
357
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:17,392
Nothing, we're just interrogating
this guy that was selling drugs.
358
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,625
All good? How's it going?
359
00:15:18,708 --> 00:15:20,250
What is this? Are you insane?
360
00:15:20,333 --> 00:15:23,208
Hey. No, we can't be doing this.
We're not the police.
361
00:15:23,291 --> 00:15:25,750
- Yeah, it's obvious.
- No, man, we are urban guards!
362
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:28,208
What... what, what's so...?
Wipe your nose, Feli.
363
00:15:28,291 --> 00:15:31,041
- What's obvious?
- Nothing, that these guys aren't cops.
364
00:15:31,125 --> 00:15:32,375
- Is it now? Wait.
- Mm-hm.
365
00:15:32,458 --> 00:15:34,416
Violence gets you nowhere, guys, so-
366
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:36,500
- Exactly! Don't use violence!
- But violence...
367
00:15:36,583 --> 00:15:38,767
- Don't ever use violence!
- Alright, enough, Feli! Okay.
368
00:15:38,791 --> 00:15:41,916
But, sometimes, there are
other methods that can be helpful.
369
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,041
So then, here's what
we're gonna do right now.
370
00:15:44,541 --> 00:15:49,958
I'm gonna ask you to take this pencil
and draw a tree, a person, and a house.
371
00:15:50,041 --> 00:15:50,875
Go ahead.
372
00:15:50,958 --> 00:15:52,166
And how's that helpful?
373
00:15:52,250 --> 00:15:53,541
Enough.
374
00:15:53,625 --> 00:15:54,625
No. Okay.
375
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:58,875
Oh, wow.
376
00:16:00,708 --> 00:16:03,000
What's wrong? Was daddy not around much?
377
00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,392
I'm sorry, but can we get
a real officer to interrogate me?
378
00:16:05,416 --> 00:16:08,166
We'll be done and you can go back
to getting paid without doing work.
379
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,250
- Ah, without doing work. Alright.
- Yeah.
380
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:12,833
- [grunts]
- No! Stop! Stop, stop, stop!
381
00:16:12,916 --> 00:16:14,333
- Who's your boss?!
- Stop!
382
00:16:14,416 --> 00:16:16,083
[Miguel] Come on! Who do you work for?
383
00:16:16,166 --> 00:16:18,101
- [Tacha] Stop!
- [Miguel] Describe that Woppy guy.
384
00:16:18,125 --> 00:16:21,666
I don't know what you want me to say!
He's bald, got a scar on his forehead!
385
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,710
- He's about 50 years old!
- What is this, Miguel?
386
00:16:24,166 --> 00:16:26,791
Uh, we were just interrogating
this male subject.
387
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:28,875
He was in the park dealing narcotics.
388
00:16:32,750 --> 00:16:35,309
[Miguel] It got a little out of hand.
The guys got carried away...
389
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:37,708
Are you nuts? It doesn't work like this.
390
00:16:37,791 --> 00:16:40,166
There's a D.A.,
a procedure to follow. And this...
391
00:16:40,250 --> 00:16:42,791
is an illegal detention.
You have no authority for this.
392
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:45,166
You are municipal employees.
393
00:16:45,250 --> 00:16:46,500
They did a full search.
394
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,791
We could get a complaint for this.
For abuse of authority.
395
00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,250
Now, thanks to you, we have to let him go.
396
00:16:52,333 --> 00:16:54,958
We were onto him, Mike.
He sells the best blow on the block.
397
00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:57,333
For seven bags of blow,
you fucked up our investigation.
398
00:16:57,416 --> 00:16:58,750
Alright, uh...
399
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:01,666
I'm gonna go now, guys, so, thanks!
400
00:17:02,166 --> 00:17:04,083
- [Tacha whistles]
- Listen up.
401
00:17:04,166 --> 00:17:06,666
For your sake and for this division,
you're suspended.
402
00:17:06,750 --> 00:17:08,333
- No.
- Next time, you're out.
403
00:17:09,291 --> 00:17:10,583
Alright. Okay.
404
00:17:11,625 --> 00:17:13,750
I have some pork in the car,
four or five...
405
00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:17,791
- You're really high.
- Huh? What'd you say?
406
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:22,308
I gotta say you're really funny
when you try to act like a badass.
407
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,041
We make a good team, you and I, huh?
408
00:17:25,125 --> 00:17:26,500
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
409
00:17:28,583 --> 00:17:34,666
HOW IS SEX WITH A PERSON IN A WHEELCHAIR
410
00:17:36,583 --> 00:17:39,125
PREGNANCIES RISE IN ORGIES
IN REHAB CENTER
411
00:17:39,208 --> 00:17:41,833
"COME FUCK ME ON MY WHEELCHAIR"
A REVEALING INTERVIEW
412
00:17:42,500 --> 00:17:43,708
COME FUCK ME ON MY WHEELCHAIR
413
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,291
[Paula] Hi!
414
00:17:47,375 --> 00:17:49,125
- [both] All good?
- Yeah, checking emails.
415
00:17:49,208 --> 00:17:50,708
Emails? You shut that quick.
416
00:17:50,791 --> 00:17:52,041
[cackles]
417
00:17:52,125 --> 00:17:53,916
- What's going on? You're all good?
- Yeah.
418
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,291
Yeah, everything's fine, thankfully. Fine.
419
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,208
- You showed up unannounced. Good.
- Yeah.
420
00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,625
No, I tried calling,
but your number's out of service so...
421
00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:02,125
Huh, right, it's just uh...
422
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:04,125
I just uh, switched to
another company, ya know?
423
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,458
I got a new phone too.
424
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:08,166
- Want something to eat? Not hungry, but...
- No, don't bother.
425
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,290
I brought your car keys,
I'm gonna grab the toaster.
426
00:18:10,333 --> 00:18:11,458
- Oh!
- Okay?
427
00:18:11,541 --> 00:18:13,125
Okay, but... but what's going on?
428
00:18:13,208 --> 00:18:17,416
It'd be nice to know what
we're doing with this break. Like, uh...
429
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,833
Are we gonna break
up for good or try again?
430
00:18:20,333 --> 00:18:22,666
Um... let's break up, that's fine.
431
00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:25,250
Or we could give it some more thought.
432
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:27,583
No, no, you're right. Let's just split.
433
00:18:27,666 --> 00:18:31,333
Okay, then, you know what? I'm gonna ask
that next time you come to my house,
434
00:18:31,416 --> 00:18:33,176
you ring the doorbell
and give me a heads-up.
435
00:18:33,208 --> 00:18:35,476
But why's it your house?
I'm the one who found this place,
436
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:38,583
I signed the lease, and I'm staying over
at my sister's small condo.
437
00:18:38,666 --> 00:18:42,250
Okay. If you wanna keep it, just tell me.
No big deal. I'll find somewhere else.
438
00:18:42,333 --> 00:18:43,333
Alright then.
439
00:18:43,375 --> 00:18:45,458
- So you want me to leave tonight?
- Yes.
440
00:18:45,541 --> 00:18:46,741
- You really want that?
- Yeah.
441
00:18:47,375 --> 00:18:49,815
It was just a suggestion!
You don't have to take it literally.
442
00:18:49,875 --> 00:18:52,434
- Ah, no! Well, if you could...
- No, it's fine! I'm leaving tonight!
443
00:18:52,458 --> 00:18:54,625
Not a problem.
You want the couch too? Just keep it!
444
00:18:54,708 --> 00:18:56,708
- Oh, well, great.
- You wanna take this?
445
00:18:56,791 --> 00:18:58,471
It's yours,
I don't even know what that is.
446
00:18:58,500 --> 00:18:59,875
It's a Styrofoam stool!
447
00:18:59,958 --> 00:19:02,458
- I don't get it.
- It was made by my sister!
448
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:04,916
- She designed it!
- Ah.
449
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,000
[Felipe, over speakers]
It's from my dad's factory!
450
00:19:07,041 --> 00:19:09,833
You can have my mom's food too,
it's in the freezer!
451
00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:13,041
[Paula] Great, yummy, thanks.
I can't wait to eat your mom's food.
452
00:19:13,125 --> 00:19:14,583
[Felipe] Oh yay! And you know what?!
453
00:19:14,666 --> 00:19:17,333
I moved the furniture around
to make the space more cohesive!
454
00:19:17,416 --> 00:19:18,958
[Tacha] Ah, fuck my life!
455
00:19:19,041 --> 00:19:20,125
[sighs]
456
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:23,666
I swear I really paid attention.
There were no pigs around.
457
00:19:23,750 --> 00:19:26,375
But these two showed up,
in like a gas station uniform.
458
00:19:26,458 --> 00:19:29,500
A handicapped chick and a freaky
skinny dude who looked kinda dead.
459
00:19:30,166 --> 00:19:32,166
They kept asking me who I worked for.
460
00:19:32,250 --> 00:19:33,833
And what did you say?
461
00:19:33,916 --> 00:19:34,916
Nothing really.
462
00:19:34,958 --> 00:19:36,250
But they were nuts.
463
00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:38,916
They took all of our blow
and criticized it as well.
464
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,208
They're right though.
Honestly, I'd prefer not to sell crap.
465
00:19:42,291 --> 00:19:45,291
- I have a reputation to uphold.
- "Nothing really"?
466
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:46,750
Define what's "nothing really."
467
00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:50,958
Well, uh, you know,
what I meant is, it's just...
468
00:19:51,041 --> 00:19:52,208
[gunshot]
469
00:20:07,416 --> 00:20:10,875
Gabriel,
this Urban Guard guy is a problem.
470
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:12,125
He's messing with us.
471
00:20:12,875 --> 00:20:14,541
Mm. Thanks, Mom.
472
00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,333
I'll speak to Paula.
473
00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:17,625
No, no, don't bother.
474
00:20:18,291 --> 00:20:19,583
[Adriana] So we better go now.
475
00:20:19,666 --> 00:20:21,875
I have a spinning class
tomorrow at 8:00, okay?
476
00:20:21,958 --> 00:20:22,958
Okay.
477
00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,291
GREEN SPACES
478
00:20:37,291 --> 00:20:40,291
[gentle music playing]
479
00:20:59,333 --> 00:21:01,375
[closing theme music playing]