1
00:00:57,525 --> 00:00:58,425
All right, how are we
looking?
2
00:00:59,027 --> 00:01:00,862
-Cameras are ready.
-Last looks, please.
3
00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:05,800
Can I give you this?
4
00:01:05,934 --> 00:01:06,734
-Of course.
-Thanks.
5
00:01:06,868 --> 00:01:07,702
Makeup's clear.
6
00:01:08,268 --> 00:01:09,037
Quiet on set.
7
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:10,004
Roll sound.
8
00:01:10,572 --> 00:01:11,673
Sound speeds.
9
00:01:12,372 --> 00:01:13,407
And camera speeds.
10
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:16,109
What's your story, Jeff Brock.
Take seven.
11
00:01:17,946 --> 00:01:20,615
All right, Jeff, whenever you're
ready, we're going to pick up
12
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:23,116
from where we left off.
Just right to me, nice and easy.
13
00:01:24,919 --> 00:01:26,486
So what's important to Jeff
Brock?
14
00:01:27,922 --> 00:01:31,325
There were only two things that
I ever really wanted, a
successful
15
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:32,694
career and a normal life.
16
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:35,329
You know, a wife and a couple of
kids.
17
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:37,732
But my life has never been
normal.
18
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:40,068
And you had success very
early in your career, right?
19
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,769
I did.
20
00:01:41,970 --> 00:01:45,205
I started booking some roles in
movies and TV shows, really
young.
21
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:48,408
And then before I knew it, I was
on the cover of fan magazines,
22
00:01:48,610 --> 00:01:50,410
and I was every teenage girl's
fantasy.
23
00:01:50,979 --> 00:01:55,049
And then eventually, I
met a great girl,
24
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:57,952
and we got married, had my kids,
25
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:00,688
and life was good.
26
00:02:01,623 --> 00:02:05,359
And then we moved out of LA to
Dallas to raise my children in
what I thought
27
00:02:05,492 --> 00:02:07,061
would be a wholesome
environment.
28
00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,097
And then...
29
00:02:11,264 --> 00:02:12,299
And then?
30
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:17,905
Well, and then my normal
life, it turned to shit.
31
00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:33,848
Mr. Brock?
32
00:03:34,048 --> 00:03:35,049
Please come in.
33
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:41,923
I had a prenup.
34
00:03:42,056 --> 00:03:43,758
A prenup.
35
00:03:43,891 --> 00:03:46,226
And all my friends were going
through these horrible divorces
and losing their
36
00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:48,361
kids, and my kids mean
everything to me.
37
00:03:48,563 --> 00:03:50,464
And I couldn't imagine
having standard custody.
38
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,767
Who ever came up with that
ridiculous term anyway?
39
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:53,868
Standard? Custody?
40
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:54,936
You know what's standard?
41
00:03:55,069 --> 00:03:56,104
The guy gets screwed.
42
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,437
That's what's standard.
43
00:03:57,572 --> 00:04:00,474
The woman, she takes the house,
the money, the kids.
44
00:04:00,742 --> 00:04:01,843
The guy gets screwed.
45
00:04:03,177 --> 00:04:04,746
But you had a prenuptial
agreement.
46
00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,280
Yeah, I did.
47
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,751
But then I got drunk and
sentimental one night after my
daughter was born,
48
00:04:09,884 --> 00:04:12,620
and I ripped it up.
49
00:04:12,754 --> 00:04:16,323
I freaking gave her everything
in exchange for no attorneys, no
divorce trial,
50
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:18,358
and guaranteed fifty-fifty
custody of my kids.
51
00:04:19,227 --> 00:04:21,261
And that cost you a lot of
money?
52
00:04:22,130 --> 00:04:23,197
A lot.
53
00:04:24,031 --> 00:04:26,901
And now she's out there partying
and traveling with my money
54
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,301
and dating 22-year-olds.
55
00:04:28,870 --> 00:04:30,270
And how does that make you feel?
56
00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:31,773
Can I stand?
I really want to move.
57
00:04:31,906 --> 00:04:32,974
-Can I stand?
-Of course.
58
00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:38,179
How do I feel about it?
I feel like a loser.
59
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:41,783
I thought if anyone was going to
leave the marriage, it would
have been me.
60
00:04:41,916 --> 00:04:42,950
I was I was famous.
61
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,186
I mean, TV, and then later on B
movies.
62
00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:48,890
But still, I was somebody.
63
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:53,094
And then after the whole acting
thing, when that got tougher and
I started
64
00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:54,796
working behind the camera, I
just...
65
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,165
Yes, I did read your file.
66
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:02,136
I found it very insightful,
particularly the part about your
67
00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:04,972
-marriage to Karen at the time.
-Yeah, but we tried.
68
00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:08,609
We tried, and we were hanging on
until she started playing
tennis.
69
00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:11,245
- Tennis?
- Yeah, tennis.
70
00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:13,346
The root of all evil, that
freaking little fuzzy yellow
ball
71
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,951
that leads to affairs, divorce,
facelifts, and boob jobs.
72
00:05:17,084 --> 00:05:18,786
-Yeah, tennis.
-I'm not following.
73
00:05:18,953 --> 00:05:22,190
Okay, women who don't work, they
go to the country club, right?
74
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:25,392
And then they get on the tennis
team, and then they have lunch,
75
00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:28,062
and then they start drinking
white wine like Kool-Aid, and
they
76
00:05:28,196 --> 00:05:29,730
all trash their husbands.
77
00:05:29,864 --> 00:05:32,200
And then, like suicidal
lemmings, they all jump off the
cliff together,
78
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:35,036
leave their husbands, destroy
their families, and start
sleeping
79
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:36,804
with every tennis coach they
can find.
80
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:43,878
So... I-I understand that you
are transitioning
81
00:05:44,078 --> 00:05:46,747
between the anger phase with
Karen into the grieving stage,
82
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,584
which is a completely normal
evolution of the divorce
process,
83
00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:53,554
especially when you're in a
long-term relationship, and it
involves children.
84
00:05:56,858 --> 00:05:59,392
Oh, So we don't have much time
left.
85
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:02,395
Is there anything specific that
you'd like to talk about today?
86
00:06:04,665 --> 00:06:05,666
Yeah.
87
00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:07,467
I'm lonely.
88
00:06:09,570 --> 00:06:10,638
I want to date.
89
00:06:11,873 --> 00:06:13,074
Someone. Someone real.
90
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,109
I just want to have some
social human contact again.
91
00:06:15,243 --> 00:06:19,847
Because Karen, my ex, she jumped
on that dating bicycle
92
00:06:19,981 --> 00:06:21,515
like it was the Tour de France.
93
00:06:22,183 --> 00:06:23,383
So easy for her.
94
00:06:23,517 --> 00:06:25,519
Old guys, young guys,
especially the young guys.
95
00:06:25,653 --> 00:06:27,188
She gets invited everywhere for
free.
96
00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:29,957
She doesn't have to pay for a
single meal. You know why that
is?
97
00:06:30,091 --> 00:06:32,193
Because of the cave of
mysteries. Vagina.
98
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:33,895
She has the power of the vagina.
99
00:06:35,730 --> 00:06:36,797
So what else?
100
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,234
What else besides not having a
powerful vagina, as you put it,
101
00:06:40,368 --> 00:06:42,503
do you think is keeping you from
dating?
102
00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:47,108
I don't know how to anymore.
103
00:06:48,376 --> 00:06:49,377
I've got no game.
104
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,346
I've got no mojo.
105
00:06:54,115 --> 00:06:55,116
I lost it.
106
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,384
I lost everything.
107
00:06:58,386 --> 00:06:59,921
And why do you think that is?
108
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:02,990
Because everything's changed.
109
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:07,194
The last time I was single, I
had a flip phone and there was
no social media.
110
00:07:07,929 --> 00:07:11,799
Nobody was checking in, liking
pics, posting pics of their food
111
00:07:11,966 --> 00:07:15,002
none of this stuff.
112
00:07:15,136 --> 00:07:16,270
It just wasn't a thing.
113
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:19,974
Go on.
114
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:23,177
Men just don't meet women
like they used to anymore.
115
00:07:23,945 --> 00:07:27,447
And friends don't set up other
friends because middle-aged
divorce People are
116
00:07:27,581 --> 00:07:30,251
batshit crazy, and nobody wants
to be responsible for inflicting
117
00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:31,886
more crazy on their friends.
118
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:35,455
Have you considered
the online dating sites?
119
00:07:36,090 --> 00:07:37,825
What? No, absolutely not.
120
00:07:37,959 --> 00:07:39,927
I'm a celebrity. Well, was.
121
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:41,329
Kind of.
122
00:07:43,898 --> 00:07:46,233
I can't think about going
online. Absolutely not.
123
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:49,670
Why?
124
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,075
What exactly are you afraid of?
125
00:07:57,278 --> 00:08:02,984
I don't know.
I guess I'd be mortified.
126
00:08:05,820 --> 00:08:08,222
So this woman, Dr. Reader,
I feel like she gets me.
127
00:08:08,356 --> 00:08:10,057
I can bear my soul to her.
128
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:12,159
And she hardly said a word.
129
00:08:12,293 --> 00:08:14,295
She pretty much just
sat there and let me talk.
130
00:08:14,428 --> 00:08:15,730
Takes the heat off of me.
131
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:18,165
-Man, how much are you paying
her?
-Sam.
132
00:08:18,299 --> 00:08:20,067
Oh my God. Hi.
133
00:08:20,201 --> 00:08:22,903
I meant to call you this week
about a house in your
neighborhood that just
134
00:08:23,037 --> 00:08:25,840
came on the market, but I have
been so busy with the kids
135
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,142
-back in school and everything.
-Hey, no problem.
136
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,577
I'm having a party this weekend.
137
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,212
Please come. Hey, I'm Sam.
138
00:08:32,113 --> 00:08:33,280
Oh, hi. I'm Tina.
139
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:34,548
This is Jeff.
140
00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,083
Okay.
141
00:08:36,217 --> 00:08:39,020
Oh, you're Carter Brock's dad,
right?
142
00:08:39,487 --> 00:08:40,755
Yes. Yeah, I am.
143
00:08:41,155 --> 00:08:43,758
My daughter, and your son
are in the same grade.
144
00:08:44,325 --> 00:08:48,195
They have a love-hate
relationship going on, but I
think they
145
00:08:48,329 --> 00:08:49,463
really like each other.
146
00:08:49,663 --> 00:08:51,232
You know, playing hard to get.
147
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,869
She's a handful, but she's even
worse when she's with her dad.
148
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:57,738
Your wife is Karen, right?
149
00:08:57,872 --> 00:08:59,340
Was recently divorced.
150
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,541
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
151
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,842
But you'll be fine.
152
00:09:02,076 --> 00:09:04,245
Being single is like riding a
bike.
153
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,147
That's what I hear.
154
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:09,250
-You were married?
-Oh, God, no.
155
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:10,451
I mean, not anymore.
156
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:12,521
I've dated. A lot.
157
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:13,821
I just...
158
00:09:14,155 --> 00:09:16,957
I'm taking a little time
off to focus on myself.
159
00:09:17,091 --> 00:09:19,126
It was really nice to meet you.
160
00:09:19,528 --> 00:09:22,063
-Maybe I'll see you around
school?
-Yeah.
161
00:09:23,898 --> 00:09:25,866
-Really good to see you, Sam.
-Yeah.
162
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,768
Bye, all.
It was nice to meet you both.
163
00:09:29,370 --> 00:09:32,006
Nice to meet you, too.
164
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,576
She's beautiful, and she seems
normal.
165
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,778
He just looks so familiar.
166
00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:39,580
What did he say his name was?
167
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,916
Oh, the last name is Brock.
168
00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:44,985
And his first name was Jeff.
169
00:09:45,119 --> 00:09:46,053
Google him.
170
00:09:46,187 --> 00:09:47,955
I'm so on it.
171
00:09:51,526 --> 00:09:55,296
Oh my God.
172
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,833
He still looks pretty good,
even with his shirt on.
173
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,168
Why haven't you introduced me to
her?
174
00:10:01,302 --> 00:10:03,771
Look, I'm not getting involved
in your dating life after Karen.
175
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,172
Nope, not doing that again.
176
00:10:05,306 --> 00:10:06,440
Cheers.
177
00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:10,711
-Walk with me.
-Okay.
178
00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,315
Sorry.
179
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,183
Good night, you all.
180
00:10:16,317 --> 00:10:18,452
-Wait, you're leaving so soon.
-Oh, yeah.
181
00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:21,622
-Early day tomorrow.
-Okay.
182
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:24,792
Well, have a good night, Tina.
183
00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:27,928
Sam, I'm Jeff.
184
00:10:28,129 --> 00:10:30,698
We know who you are.
185
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,535
-You're the shirtless hunk.
-So embarrassing.
186
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,337
Oh, no, don't be embarrassed.
Use it.
187
00:10:36,538 --> 00:10:38,339
-He just got divorced.
-Oh, yeah, I know.
188
00:10:38,472 --> 00:10:39,608
I heard.
189
00:10:41,208 --> 00:10:42,710
We've all been there, and we're
still standing, right, Tina?
190
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,079
Not if I can help it.
191
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:46,881
Hey, listen, I know this is
awkward.
192
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,649
You just seem so well adjusted.
193
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,850
I'm a new single parent.
194
00:10:50,284 --> 00:10:52,920
I have absolutely no idea what
I'm doing.
195
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,323
Would you possibly be open
to grabbing some coffee?
196
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,459
Our kids are friends in school.
197
00:10:58,593 --> 00:11:01,596
I just could use some advice.
198
00:11:04,131 --> 00:11:05,600
My cell number's on there.
199
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,470
I don't drink coffee, but I do
eat lunch.
200
00:11:09,604 --> 00:11:11,906
Call me.
201
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,374
Good night, you all.
202
00:11:14,175 --> 00:11:15,610
See you all later.
203
00:11:19,813 --> 00:11:22,149
Hey, listen up, shirtless hunk.
204
00:11:22,283 --> 00:11:24,519
-You be careful with that one
now.
-Yeah?
205
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:25,786
Oh, yeah.
206
00:11:33,528 --> 00:11:35,963
Hi, Jeff. Good to see you again.
207
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:39,700
Thank you.
208
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:42,002
Hi.
209
00:11:42,136 --> 00:11:44,138
Sorry, I'm late.
I had to park in the back.
210
00:11:44,705 --> 00:11:46,307
Oh, it's okay. No problem.
211
00:11:46,675 --> 00:11:49,310
I ordered us Pinot Grigio.
Hope that's all right.
212
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:50,512
That's perfect.
213
00:11:51,646 --> 00:11:54,048
-So you like this place?
-Oh, yeah.
214
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,816
It's pretty popular.
215
00:11:56,551 --> 00:11:58,285
It was a test.
216
00:11:58,452 --> 00:12:01,590
I figured if you were still
married, there is no way you
would meet me here
217
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,525
because everyone in town would
see us.
218
00:12:03,658 --> 00:12:06,695
Did you really think that I
was making up being divorced?
219
00:12:07,596 --> 00:12:09,531
- Here you are.
- Well, you know this town.
220
00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:13,067
I really don't, but I'm starting
to.
221
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:16,170
To the shirtless hunk.
222
00:12:18,272 --> 00:12:19,106
Come on in.
223
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:20,341
Thanks.
224
00:12:22,209 --> 00:12:23,911
Hmm.
225
00:12:24,044 --> 00:12:25,246
I love your place.
226
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,248
Thank you.
227
00:12:40,528 --> 00:12:41,596
Powder room.
228
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,264
I'll be on the hall, to the
left.
229
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:45,966
I'll be right back.
230
00:12:50,938 --> 00:12:52,339
Do you have any wine?
231
00:12:52,607 --> 00:12:54,709
Yeah, red or white.
232
00:12:55,577 --> 00:12:56,944
White.
233
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,055
Are you ready?
234
00:13:12,393 --> 00:13:14,995
I was cheer captain at the high
school where our kids go.
235
00:13:15,229 --> 00:13:16,997
20 years later, and it still
fits.
236
00:13:17,431 --> 00:13:18,499
Yes, it does.
237
00:13:19,668 --> 00:13:21,302
Trust me,
238
00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:23,538
half these menopausal
heifers couldn't get one thigh
in this skirt.
239
00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,621
You're not wearing any panties.
240
00:13:39,754 --> 00:13:41,756
I never do.
241
00:13:47,428 --> 00:13:48,962
Oh my God, you really
242
00:13:49,096 --> 00:13:50,665
are the shirtless hunk.
243
00:13:58,005 --> 00:14:00,007
-Hey, we made it.
-Come in, come in.
244
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:01,208
Glad you guys could make it.
245
00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:02,544
Look, we got plenty of food.
246
00:14:02,677 --> 00:14:04,646
Mimosas, Vodka, pretty
much everything you want.
247
00:14:04,779 --> 00:14:05,814
Thank you.
248
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,014
Vodka sounds great.
249
00:14:07,448 --> 00:14:09,651
It's a little too early for me
and food.
250
00:14:14,789 --> 00:14:17,491
So a little different than
Karen.
251
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:22,129
Unbelievable.
252
00:14:32,139 --> 00:14:34,007
Oh, I made you one.
253
00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:36,343
-Thanks.
-Cheers.
254
00:14:36,477 --> 00:14:41,081
I had some
pilots, moved down low over this
herd, hundreds of wild beings.
255
00:14:41,215 --> 00:14:44,218
We I'll bring down hellfire from
the end.
256
00:14:44,351 --> 00:14:45,018
Okay.
257
00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:47,221
Here, wait. Wow.
258
00:14:47,388 --> 00:14:49,724
-I just wanted to introduce
you to somebody over here.
-Oh!
259
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,862
They didn't know what hit him.
260
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:59,366
My little grandson, God bless
him, he took down 15 hogs with
this little
261
00:14:59,500 --> 00:15:01,770
bump stock that I'd cut down for
him.
262
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:03,671
Jeff, what do you think of that?
263
00:15:05,005 --> 00:15:07,007
Yeah, it sounds different.
264
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:08,475
It was more than different.
265
00:15:08,610 --> 00:15:09,878
It was a hell of a lot of fun.
266
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,813
I know you're not from here.
267
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,915
You're not I'm not from Texas,
but you ever shoot hogs?
268
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:19,153
Yeah, I don't know anybody
who does that in Los Angeles.
269
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:20,655
Damn, Liberals.
270
00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:24,158
I hear they'll throw paint
on a pretty lady's fur coat.
271
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,895
You're not one of those paint
throwers, are you, baby?
272
00:15:29,196 --> 00:15:31,231
Would you just stop it, please?
273
00:15:31,465 --> 00:15:33,568
-Excuse me?
-I'm sorry.
274
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:36,303
-Who?
-Fuck you, Jeff Brock.
275
00:15:37,070 --> 00:15:40,274
- Who do you think you are?
- What?
276
00:15:40,474 --> 00:15:41,442
I'm out of here.
277
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,316
- Yeah, I'm sorry,
everyone.
278
00:15:49,450 --> 00:15:51,251
She's just had a little too much
to drink.
279
00:15:52,620 --> 00:15:53,855
You have my keys.
280
00:15:54,388 --> 00:15:56,490
Give me my damn keys.
281
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:06,967
So nice meeting, everyone.
282
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,369
That's my cue.
283
00:16:09,504 --> 00:16:12,774
-So things did not go as
expected.
-Well, they did.
284
00:16:12,907 --> 00:16:13,974
At first.
285
00:16:14,107 --> 00:16:16,310
Until she guzzled down a pile of
screwdrivers
286
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,480
and went haywire, insulting me
in front of a room of complete
strangers,
287
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:23,852
punctuated by the denigration of
my former acting career, I might
add.
288
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,955
You B-Movie has been?
289
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,724
And now the entire neighborhood
is whispering behind my back.
290
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,626
Welcome to the neighborhood,
Jeff.
291
00:16:32,660 --> 00:16:34,328
It's a tough town.
292
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:35,530
No shit.
293
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,835
I thought the people here would
be way less judgmental because
they go to church.
294
00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:44,471
But the hypocrisy in Dallas
is way worse than it is in LA.
295
00:16:44,639 --> 00:16:49,109
At least in LA, they're screwed
up, but they know it and they
admit it.
296
00:16:49,711 --> 00:16:52,547
But you got back in the game,
and that's a good step forward.
297
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,249
Maybe you're just fishing
too close to home.
298
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:59,654
I counsel a lot of single
people, and they have great
success dating online.
299
00:16:59,988 --> 00:17:04,893
And they say that they can
filter people by age, proximity,
physical
300
00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:06,493
attributes, and interests.
301
00:17:06,694 --> 00:17:08,161
I don't know.
302
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:11,365
I know you're concerned about
your anonymity, but you don't
have
303
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:12,834
to use your real the name.
304
00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:15,068
You can choose who sees your
profile and who you respond
305
00:17:15,202 --> 00:17:16,370
to and who you reach out to.
306
00:17:17,371 --> 00:17:20,374
I mean, I guess it couldn't get
any worse than what I just went
through.
307
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,410
I'll run it by my friend Sam.
308
00:17:23,545 --> 00:17:25,279
At least he's still talking to
me.
309
00:17:25,980 --> 00:17:27,749
And does Sam give good advice.
310
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:29,584
The worst.
311
00:17:30,652 --> 00:17:34,622
Whenever I ask for Sam's
opinion, whatever it is, I just
do the opposite.
312
00:17:34,822 --> 00:17:36,024
And that works.
313
00:17:36,356 --> 00:17:37,291
Like a charm.
314
00:17:37,424 --> 00:17:39,192
Online dating.
315
00:17:39,393 --> 00:17:42,630
I just feel like everybody's
doing it, especially these days.
How does it work?
316
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:45,365
I mean, honestly, you just sign
up. Shit.
317
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,367
I hit them all just to cover my
bases.
318
00:17:47,602 --> 00:17:49,102
I don't know.
319
00:17:49,604 --> 00:17:51,539
I don't think so.
It just makes me so nervous.
320
00:17:51,673 --> 00:17:53,140
What if somebody recognizes me?
321
00:17:55,009 --> 00:17:56,945
No, man, I'm just going to take
my time.
322
00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,346
I want to meet somebody
the old-fashioned way.
323
00:17:59,614 --> 00:18:00,815
Tick tock, brother.
324
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,115
Can't stop that clock.
325
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:06,721
Hey, you remember Tina, don't
you? Dina's friend?
326
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:08,455
Well, she and I keep in touch.
327
00:18:08,590 --> 00:18:10,357
You and Tina? I knew it.
328
00:18:10,592 --> 00:18:13,126
Anyway, she knows
a lot of people in town.
329
00:18:13,327 --> 00:18:16,363
It could be a good resource. I
told her she should stop by and
see you.
330
00:18:16,531 --> 00:18:17,732
-See me?
-Yeah.
331
00:18:18,066 --> 00:18:20,935
She's selling some skincare
shit, and she'll probably make
332
00:18:21,069 --> 00:18:22,604
you buy some face cream.
Count on it.
333
00:18:22,870 --> 00:18:25,039
But she might hook you up with a
female.
334
00:18:26,741 --> 00:18:27,809
Okay.
335
00:18:39,854 --> 00:18:41,723
-Hi, come on in.
-Hey.
336
00:18:42,657 --> 00:18:46,094
-Thank you so much for letting
me come by.
-My pleasure.
337
00:18:46,293 --> 00:18:47,895
-Kitchen's this way.
-Hey.
338
00:18:49,564 --> 00:18:52,232
So the secret ingredient
is the cassava melon.
339
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:56,136
Sorry about what happened
with you and Dina.
340
00:18:56,504 --> 00:18:58,539
You know her. She's a wild one.
341
00:18:58,906 --> 00:19:02,309
I could have told you that, but
you and I didn't really know
each other yet.
342
00:19:02,510 --> 00:19:06,781
That's okay.
I know a lot of cute girls.
343
00:19:07,447 --> 00:19:09,017
Isn't this mask great?
Don't talk.
344
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:11,318
Doesn't it feel great?
345
00:19:11,451 --> 00:19:13,353
I got a lot of guys I'm
trying to start using it.
346
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,355
I'm trying to get Sam to use it,
too.
347
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:18,158
It'll make his skin look so
good.
348
00:19:19,127 --> 00:19:21,029
So guess what?
349
00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:24,799
I have the most beautiful girl
for you to meet, but you got to
buy
350
00:19:24,932 --> 00:19:26,634
some product from me first.
351
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:31,105
I don't really mean it, but I
really wish you would, and I'll
set you up.
352
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,574
You want to see a picture?
She's really hot.
353
00:19:33,775 --> 00:19:35,143
-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.
354
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:36,443
Okay.
355
00:19:39,547 --> 00:19:40,648
Mm-hmm.
356
00:19:42,116 --> 00:19:43,985
So I'll pack up the whole
thing for you, okay?
357
00:19:44,952 --> 00:19:46,954
You are going to look so good.
358
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:50,892
And the best part is I've set
you up an auto pay, so you don't
359
00:19:51,025 --> 00:19:52,927
have to worry about ever
ordering again.
360
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,296
It'll just show up on your
credit card. Isn't that great?
361
00:19:57,532 --> 00:19:58,700
-Mm-hmm.
-Yeah.
362
00:20:02,704 --> 00:20:05,439
When Tina told me that you were
an actor, I thought you were
going
363
00:20:05,573 --> 00:20:07,742
to be some broke dick.
364
00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:09,476
Oh, thanks.
365
00:20:09,877 --> 00:20:12,613
You know, I was actually
involved in some movies.
366
00:20:12,747 --> 00:20:15,049
Yeah, I left home when I was 16.
367
00:20:15,183 --> 00:20:19,987
I went to work for this film
company, and this guy who like
totally had the hots
368
00:20:20,121 --> 00:20:24,892
for me, he actually worked in
pornos, and we called him Porno
Dave.
369
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:31,231
I mean, I worked behind the
camera, setting up insert shots,
the lighting,
370
00:20:31,364 --> 00:20:33,067
helping girls clean off
afterwards.
371
00:20:33,201 --> 00:20:35,536
I mean, stuff like that.
372
00:20:35,670 --> 00:20:37,805
Dear God, please help me.
373
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,142
So did you ever...
374
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,944
Mmm.
375
00:20:43,077 --> 00:20:45,546
Just because I got paid to watch
people have sex doesn't mean
that I did.
376
00:20:46,547 --> 00:20:48,482
Jeff, that's gross.
377
00:20:48,783 --> 00:20:54,155
Anyways, Dave wanted me to, and
he thought that he was grooming
me
378
00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,791
and that eventually I would give
in.
379
00:20:57,525 --> 00:20:59,961
Then I just kept putting him off
by letting him jack off
380
00:21:00,094 --> 00:21:01,662
on my feet every now and then.
381
00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:06,868
He had this major foot thing,
and I have really pretty feet,
382
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:09,504
so he gave me a bonus
whenever I'd let him do it.
383
00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,439
And then I went to aesthetician
school.
384
00:21:12,807 --> 00:21:17,712
Yeah, and here I am all these
years later, just injecting shit
into people's faces.
385
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:21,716
And I am really, really good at
it.
386
00:21:22,617 --> 00:21:23,985
Hey, buddy.
387
00:21:24,118 --> 00:21:25,385
I've been meaning to call you.
388
00:21:25,586 --> 00:21:28,022
-You know Albert's wedding is
coming up.
-Mm-mm.
389
00:21:28,222 --> 00:21:29,824
Crazy just trumped hot.
390
00:21:32,226 --> 00:21:33,227
Hey, Keith.
391
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:35,763
This is Donya.
392
00:21:35,897 --> 00:21:37,330
Hi, I'm Loni.
393
00:21:37,598 --> 00:21:40,333
-Like Toni with an L.
-Mm-mm.
394
00:21:41,235 --> 00:21:42,804
-Mm-mm.
-Hey, what are you doing?
395
00:21:42,937 --> 00:21:44,304
They can hear you.
396
00:21:45,006 --> 00:21:47,108
Sorry, we just had a little wine
tonight.
397
00:21:47,340 --> 00:21:49,610
-I should probably get her home.
-Yeah, no problem.
398
00:21:49,777 --> 00:21:51,913
-Can we have your table?
-Yeah, sure.
399
00:21:52,479 --> 00:21:53,848
And let's catch up next week.
400
00:21:54,649 --> 00:21:55,750
Mm-mm.
401
00:21:56,984 --> 00:21:58,519
So what are you going to do now?
402
00:21:58,719 --> 00:22:00,688
I don't know. Just these women
I've been seeing.
403
00:22:00,822 --> 00:22:01,889
They've been nightmares.
404
00:22:02,023 --> 00:22:03,524
No wonder they're all divorced.
405
00:22:03,658 --> 00:22:04,826
You need to get online.
406
00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:07,394
I'll help you write up a
profile, and we could take some
pics
407
00:22:07,528 --> 00:22:08,863
that the ladies are like.
408
00:22:09,197 --> 00:22:12,465
No string of fish and no
shirtless selfies in the
bathroom the mirror.
409
00:22:12,834 --> 00:22:15,402
The women hate that shit, but
the guys just keep on doing it.
410
00:22:15,603 --> 00:22:17,905
I'm not getting online.
I'm not going to do it.
411
00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:21,242
Besides, Tina already called me
after she heard about what
happened with Donya.
412
00:22:21,776 --> 00:22:23,376
She hooked me up with another
friend.
413
00:22:23,511 --> 00:22:25,012
We already Face-Timed. Brunette.
414
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:26,781
Beautiful.
415
00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:28,216
I mean, real sweet.
416
00:22:29,016 --> 00:22:32,053
So I'm bringing her as my date
to the Albert Flores wedding.
417
00:22:32,253 --> 00:22:33,420
Don't you know nothing?
418
00:22:34,188 --> 00:22:36,757
You never supposed to take
a woman to a wedding.
419
00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:39,193
Come on. What's the worst that
can happen?
420
00:22:39,459 --> 00:22:40,995
It's fine. You'll see.
421
00:22:41,128 --> 00:22:42,196
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
422
00:23:01,883 --> 00:23:02,683
Mmm.
423
00:23:02,817 --> 00:23:03,751
I really needed this.
424
00:23:03,885 --> 00:23:05,920
The kids were driving me crazy.
425
00:23:06,888 --> 00:23:08,256
Mmm.
426
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,661
You're even hotter in person.
427
00:23:13,828 --> 00:23:15,296
You look fantastic.
428
00:23:15,428 --> 00:23:16,463
You ready?
429
00:23:16,597 --> 00:23:17,598
Can't go in with this.
430
00:23:20,268 --> 00:23:22,303
Whoa.
431
00:23:24,772 --> 00:23:26,240
Let's go.
432
00:23:26,374 --> 00:23:27,708
Repeat after me.
433
00:23:28,075 --> 00:23:30,144
A token of the vows made between
us.
434
00:23:30,912 --> 00:23:34,081
- A token of the vows made between us.
-I'm going to marry you.
435
00:23:34,916 --> 00:23:39,287
With this ring, I
pledge to you my love and my
life.
436
00:23:39,854 --> 00:23:42,790
I divorced very well, so we're
I'm going to need a prenup.
437
00:23:45,226 --> 00:23:46,627
Mmm.
438
00:23:46,761 --> 00:23:48,229
I now pronounce you husband and
wife.
439
00:23:48,763 --> 00:23:50,665
You may kiss the bride.
440
00:24:03,878 --> 00:24:05,279
Stars of the show.
441
00:24:05,413 --> 00:24:08,082
Those dresses are cute.
442
00:24:08,215 --> 00:24:09,250
Good to see you.
443
00:24:11,085 --> 00:24:12,153
Hey, buddy.
444
00:24:12,586 --> 00:24:14,855
Albert asked me to hurry
up the photographer.
445
00:24:15,056 --> 00:24:17,758
He hates her family and wants to
get these photos over with ASAP.
446
00:24:17,892 --> 00:24:19,694
-Look after Sasha for me.
-Of course.
447
00:24:20,061 --> 00:24:21,228
Nice to meet you, Mary Jane.
448
00:24:25,566 --> 00:24:28,102
So, what do you do, Sasha?
449
00:24:28,302 --> 00:24:29,370
I'm a flight attendant.
450
00:24:30,071 --> 00:24:32,472
Oh, is that a good living?
451
00:24:32,907 --> 00:24:34,275
It's okay.
452
00:24:34,642 --> 00:24:36,544
Honestly, I need to work more.
453
00:24:36,811 --> 00:24:40,548
But since I met Keith, he's just
been wanting me to be together
with him.
454
00:24:40,681 --> 00:24:42,717
And it's so weird.
455
00:24:42,917 --> 00:24:47,755
We've spent almost every night
together, and we've never had
sex.
456
00:24:48,656 --> 00:24:50,490
He doesn't even try.
457
00:24:51,192 --> 00:24:54,662
Sounds pretty weird to
me. Is he gay?
458
00:24:56,664 --> 00:24:57,631
Keith isn't gay.
459
00:24:58,165 --> 00:25:00,901
He's just going through
some health issues.
460
00:25:01,168 --> 00:25:02,203
He's going to be fine.
461
00:25:02,336 --> 00:25:03,904
Just give it a little bit of
time.
462
00:25:04,038 --> 00:25:05,740
You guys are going to be great.
463
00:25:05,873 --> 00:25:06,941
That's sweet.
464
00:25:09,877 --> 00:25:10,878
So sorry.
465
00:25:11,879 --> 00:25:12,947
Fuck.
466
00:25:13,114 --> 00:25:14,849
These are $1,500 shoes.
467
00:25:15,049 --> 00:25:17,651
This fucking cheap champagne's
all over my $1,500 shoes.
468
00:25:17,785 --> 00:25:21,355
I'm going to go to the bathroom
and try to get this shit off my
shoes.
469
00:25:21,489 --> 00:25:23,824
And hopefully, when I get back,
they're done with the wedding
photos
470
00:25:23,958 --> 00:25:25,226
and we can sit the fuck down.
471
00:25:26,060 --> 00:25:27,128
Fuck.
472
00:25:30,831 --> 00:25:32,666
Wow. Must be nice.
473
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,269
I don't even make $1,500
take home most months.
474
00:25:35,469 --> 00:25:38,773
There was absolutely
nothing nice about that.
475
00:25:38,973 --> 00:25:40,107
I have to apologize.
476
00:25:40,307 --> 00:25:42,243
I'm sorry, she's clearly
been drinking a little bit.
477
00:25:42,376 --> 00:25:43,477
I'm sorry.
478
00:25:43,611 --> 00:25:45,514
You're sweet.
I'm going to go look for Keith.
479
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:46,881
Okay.
480
00:25:50,051 --> 00:25:51,719
You've known Keith for a
long time.
481
00:25:51,852 --> 00:25:53,087
Oh, yeah, like 10 years.
482
00:25:53,220 --> 00:25:54,588
I'm sure you've got some
stories.
483
00:25:54,722 --> 00:25:56,390
Can you remember that time in
Cabo, though?
484
00:25:56,525 --> 00:25:57,725
Okay.
485
00:25:57,858 --> 00:25:59,493
So we were in Cabo,
and then he came out in his
486
00:25:59,660 --> 00:26:01,362
flip-lops with his little tiny
shorts.
487
00:26:01,495 --> 00:26:02,531
That's so Keith.
488
00:26:02,663 --> 00:26:04,865
Hey, sorry.
489
00:26:04,999 --> 00:26:06,767
I got caught up talking
to Keith's friends.
490
00:26:06,901 --> 00:26:08,736
This is Holly and Amy.
This is Mary Jane.
491
00:26:08,869 --> 00:26:11,205
Hi, Holly.
492
00:26:11,405 --> 00:26:13,941
And I'm out of here.
493
00:26:14,675 --> 00:26:17,578
Excuse me.
Hey, wait, what's going on?
494
00:26:17,711 --> 00:26:19,313
Fuck you.
And fuck those blonde bitches.
495
00:26:19,447 --> 00:26:21,550
I don't understand.
Did they do something to you?
496
00:26:21,682 --> 00:26:22,716
Those are Tina's friends.
497
00:26:22,850 --> 00:26:24,553
Fuck Tina.
498
00:26:24,685 --> 00:26:27,121
And fuck all those fake diamond
a dozen blondes with their fake
tits and their
499
00:26:27,254 --> 00:26:28,589
fake eye lashes and their fake
tans.
500
00:26:28,722 --> 00:26:29,924
You've got to calm down.
501
00:26:30,057 --> 00:26:32,093
You can't just go off
on people you don't even know.
502
00:26:32,226 --> 00:26:35,996
Do you know what it's like
growing up here with dark hair
and dark
503
00:26:36,130 --> 00:26:37,364
eyes and small boobs?
504
00:26:37,932 --> 00:26:40,101
No, I don't know what that's
like.
505
00:26:40,234 --> 00:26:42,069
Bleach blonde bitches.
506
00:26:42,203 --> 00:26:44,038
Fuck them and fuck you.
507
00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:47,174
I'm getting an Uber, and you can
go be with your little
508
00:26:47,374 --> 00:26:50,444
blonde bitch booby girls!
509
00:27:01,455 --> 00:27:02,490
Sorry about that.
510
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:05,693
That was really hard to watch.
511
00:27:06,127 --> 00:27:08,896
-It was really hard to
experience.
-Here.
512
00:27:09,497 --> 00:27:11,866
This will help.
513
00:27:11,999 --> 00:27:13,400
She's freaking insane.
514
00:27:14,503 --> 00:27:15,537
How the hell did you meet her?
515
00:27:16,103 --> 00:27:18,507
She's just friends
with Keith's friend, Tina.
516
00:27:19,073 --> 00:27:20,741
Should have been your first
clue.
517
00:27:21,175 --> 00:27:24,145
Every time we meet, your
experiences seem to have the
same outcome.
518
00:27:24,278 --> 00:27:27,348
Yet in every visit, you express
the same level of concern.
519
00:27:28,816 --> 00:27:30,151
Why is that?
520
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,021
I don't know.
521
00:27:35,222 --> 00:27:38,560
Is it too much to expect that
sooner or later, something's
going to change?
522
00:27:38,926 --> 00:27:39,994
Is it me?
523
00:27:40,961 --> 00:27:42,863
Am I just too far out of step
now?
524
00:27:43,063 --> 00:27:46,300
Because I feel like I'm asking
for something that doesn't exist
anymore.
525
00:27:46,433 --> 00:27:47,536
Come here.
526
00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:52,673
Women in your age group are past
the point of being timid about
sex.
527
00:27:53,007 --> 00:27:56,010
They're also past the point of
waiting for a man to make the
first move.
528
00:27:56,210 --> 00:27:57,178
The first move?
529
00:27:59,146 --> 00:28:02,149
First states often cause a high
level of anxiousness with some
people,
530
00:28:02,283 --> 00:28:05,319
and so they may try to combat
that anxious feeling with
alcohol.
531
00:28:08,189 --> 00:28:10,791
And alcohol weakens inhibitions.
532
00:28:11,358 --> 00:28:12,793
I'd say it slaughters them.
533
00:28:32,681 --> 00:28:33,747
What's up?
534
00:28:33,981 --> 00:28:35,216
I finally did it.
535
00:28:35,349 --> 00:28:37,218
Did what? Went home with Tina's
friend. The brunette?
536
00:28:37,351 --> 00:28:38,452
What? No, no, no.
537
00:28:38,687 --> 00:28:40,454
That was over before it even
started.
538
00:28:40,921 --> 00:28:42,856
And I hate to admit it,
but Yes, you were right.
539
00:28:42,990 --> 00:28:45,560
Not to bring a first date to a
wedding. That was a disaster.
540
00:28:45,694 --> 00:28:47,662
- So what did you do?
- I finally gave in.
541
00:28:47,828 --> 00:28:50,998
I joined a dating site,
Millionaires Matchups.com.
542
00:28:51,265 --> 00:28:53,000
Millionaires, huh?
543
00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:55,402
Well, I don't think very many
people in here are actually
millionaires,
544
00:28:55,537 --> 00:28:58,172
but I thought maybe I'm going
to find a classier girl.
545
00:28:58,673 --> 00:29:00,174
Yeah?
Well, let me tell you something.
546
00:29:00,508 --> 00:29:03,612
They're the sugar and you're the
daddy, in case you didn't know.
547
00:29:03,744 --> 00:29:07,014
-Any luck so far?
-Honestly, it's
been crazy so far.
548
00:29:07,281 --> 00:29:08,617
It's like fishing with a net.
549
00:29:09,183 --> 00:29:11,819
You need to get at least a dozen
dates on your belt before you
jump
550
00:29:11,952 --> 00:29:13,153
in to anything too deep.
551
00:29:13,722 --> 00:29:15,789
I only want one thing out of all
of this.
552
00:29:16,123 --> 00:29:17,191
What's that?
553
00:29:18,425 --> 00:29:19,527
Details.
554
00:29:21,462 --> 00:29:22,530
Details, huh?
555
00:29:35,109 --> 00:29:37,244
Daddy, Daddy, I miss you.
556
00:29:37,378 --> 00:29:38,412
Come here.
557
00:29:38,812 --> 00:29:40,615
- I miss you, too.
- What's up, dad?
558
00:29:40,749 --> 00:29:42,016
-How are you doing?
-Good, good.
559
00:29:42,149 --> 00:29:43,685
Okay, this is the plan.
560
00:29:43,884 --> 00:29:46,487
Topside golf, hit some balls,
get some dinner while we're out
there.
561
00:29:46,621 --> 00:29:47,589
What do you say?
562
00:29:47,722 --> 00:29:49,189
And we also have to be home by
nine
563
00:29:49,390 --> 00:29:50,625
because it's a school night.
564
00:29:50,759 --> 00:29:52,293
Sure, we'll get you back by
nine.
565
00:29:53,127 --> 00:29:55,296
-Are you ready to go on...
-Adventure.
566
00:29:55,429 --> 00:29:57,632
And adventure! Let's go.
567
00:29:59,266 --> 00:30:01,670
All right, in the car, in
the car.
568
00:30:16,250 --> 00:30:17,752
All right, buckle up, everyone.
569
00:30:31,098 --> 00:30:32,900
So, my friend Sam, he lives by
the adage that
570
00:30:33,033 --> 00:30:35,135
the crazy hot matrix, it always
prevails.
571
00:30:35,269 --> 00:30:38,305
I mean, the hotter they are,
the crazier they are.
572
00:30:39,006 --> 00:30:41,475
I used to think that this was
just some viral internet joke.
573
00:30:41,643 --> 00:30:43,310
Now I think it's scientific
fact.
574
00:30:46,146 --> 00:30:47,716
There are so many scammers out
there.
575
00:30:48,616 --> 00:30:51,051
I googled you and you really
are who you say you are.
576
00:30:51,485 --> 00:30:54,888
I remember you from the reruns
of that old series, The Arizona
Trail.
577
00:30:55,824 --> 00:30:56,924
Did you google me?
578
00:30:57,057 --> 00:30:58,660
I did.
579
00:30:58,793 --> 00:31:01,028
I saw that you were an
influencer, and you haven't been
arrested yet.
580
00:31:01,161 --> 00:31:02,930
-Well done.
-Hey, you're funny.
581
00:31:03,330 --> 00:31:04,365
I like that.
582
00:31:05,299 --> 00:31:07,368
Okay, so what's a guy
like you doing online?
583
00:31:07,736 --> 00:31:11,438
I just haven't had much luck
with friends recommendations
recently, so I thought
584
00:31:11,573 --> 00:31:13,240
I'd broaden my horizons
geographically.
585
00:31:14,174 --> 00:31:15,376
You're in Austin, right?
586
00:31:16,176 --> 00:31:17,344
I am.
587
00:31:18,912 --> 00:31:23,016
Hey, if you're free tomorrow,
you should drive down, maybe
after traffic.
588
00:31:23,917 --> 00:31:26,053
There is a great hotel here
with a fabulous restaurant.
589
00:31:26,186 --> 00:31:27,522
I think you'd love it.
590
00:31:28,389 --> 00:31:34,228
Maybe we could eat early, like
5:30-ish, and then I could show
you around.
591
00:31:34,361 --> 00:31:36,765
Yeah, that actually sounds
perfect.
592
00:31:36,897 --> 00:31:39,868
Send me the details,
and I'll see you tomorrow.
593
00:31:48,208 --> 00:31:49,243
Lacy?
594
00:31:49,443 --> 00:31:50,944
Hi, Jeff.
595
00:31:51,378 --> 00:31:52,946
Hey, I have to say this hotel is
great.
596
00:31:54,381 --> 00:31:55,449
How was your drive?
597
00:31:55,717 --> 00:31:56,785
Really easy.
598
00:31:58,085 --> 00:31:59,721
Oh, you're really stunning.
599
00:32:00,954 --> 00:32:02,089
You sound surprised.
600
00:32:02,590 --> 00:32:04,324
I mean, I know I saw you on
FaceTime.
601
00:32:04,859 --> 00:32:07,161
Sure, but the screen
doesn't do you any justice.
602
00:32:07,529 --> 00:32:09,263
Plus, I've learned
to limit my expectations.
603
00:32:10,565 --> 00:32:11,599
Thank you.
604
00:32:12,534 --> 00:32:13,701
Hey.
605
00:32:14,034 --> 00:32:15,837
Hi. Can I just have what she's
having?
606
00:32:15,969 --> 00:32:17,639
Coffee, but make mine decaf?
607
00:32:17,872 --> 00:32:22,443
Ladies having Spanish coffee,
151 Rum and Kahlua.
608
00:32:22,577 --> 00:32:24,077
Oh.
609
00:32:24,278 --> 00:32:27,014
In that case, just put a shot of
Bushmills in mine, but still
decaf.
610
00:32:27,147 --> 00:32:29,517
And I'll have another. Thanks.
611
00:32:30,785 --> 00:32:32,986
Two shots of Kahlua and
two shots of 151?
612
00:32:33,888 --> 00:32:35,590
Here we go.
613
00:32:35,723 --> 00:32:39,259
You know you look pretty good
yourself, by the way, even with
a shirt on.
614
00:32:39,393 --> 00:32:41,495
Online, it looks like you
didn't even own a shirt, so.
615
00:32:43,731 --> 00:32:46,233
Oh, and that shot of you from
that show you wear the speedo
in?
616
00:32:48,603 --> 00:32:51,673
I bet you never thought that the
internet would explode and
everybody would
617
00:32:51,806 --> 00:32:53,140
be zooming in on your package.
618
00:32:53,641 --> 00:32:56,210
No, honestly, it's humiliating.
619
00:32:56,911 --> 00:33:00,615
I mean, actually, at the time,
it was just a job.
620
00:33:00,849 --> 00:33:04,117
I didn't know the photographer
was going to end up leaking them
online.
621
00:33:07,187 --> 00:33:08,222
Here you go.
622
00:33:08,355 --> 00:33:09,323
Thank you.
623
00:33:09,456 --> 00:33:10,424
Thank you.
624
00:33:11,626 --> 00:33:13,026
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
625
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:20,434
I'm sorry. Excuse me.
626
00:33:20,835 --> 00:33:22,202
This is actually really sweet.
627
00:33:22,704 --> 00:33:25,707
Could I just do a vodka soda
with a twist of lemon instead?
628
00:33:26,039 --> 00:33:28,008
-Sure.
-Oh, that actually sounds good.
629
00:33:28,141 --> 00:33:29,409
I'll have one of those, too.
630
00:33:30,277 --> 00:33:33,146
Wait, I'm actually not a big
soda girl.
631
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:37,050
Can I just get a double vodka on
the rocks, fresh lime juice,
salted rim?
632
00:33:37,619 --> 00:33:39,019
-Thanks.
-Coming right up.
633
00:33:49,564 --> 00:33:51,666
I'll have another one of these
when you get a second.
634
00:33:55,369 --> 00:33:58,806
You know, you're awfully cute,
you fucker.
635
00:34:06,548 --> 00:34:07,916
You motherfucker.
636
00:34:09,049 --> 00:34:10,250
Last one's on the house.
637
00:34:11,753 --> 00:34:13,955
Loved you in Midnight Eyes 3.
638
00:34:14,087 --> 00:34:15,188
Thank you.
639
00:34:15,690 --> 00:34:17,926
-Could we order some food,
please?
-No, not me.
640
00:34:18,058 --> 00:34:22,597
I will have a double vodka on
the rocks, lime juice, salted
rim.
641
00:34:22,730 --> 00:34:23,831
Thank you.
642
00:34:24,231 --> 00:34:26,166
Can we just do a shrimp
cocktail for a starter?
643
00:34:27,035 --> 00:34:28,402
I'll bring that right away.
644
00:34:29,671 --> 00:34:31,806
Oh, my God. How does this
keep happening to me?
645
00:34:33,373 --> 00:34:35,977
Are you sure you don't want to
put some food in your stomach
before
646
00:34:36,109 --> 00:34:37,277
you have another drink?
647
00:34:37,477 --> 00:34:39,179
No, I do not.
648
00:34:40,515 --> 00:34:41,783
You know what you have?
649
00:34:42,050 --> 00:34:44,384
-What's that?
-You have a room upstairs.
650
00:34:45,218 --> 00:34:47,055
Absolutely not. No way.
651
00:34:47,187 --> 00:34:48,255
No.
652
00:34:48,455 --> 00:34:49,389
Let's go upstairs.
653
00:34:50,925 --> 00:34:53,828
Okay, so I have an early morning
tomorrow, and I think we should
just put
654
00:34:53,962 --> 00:34:56,798
you in an Uber and get you home.
655
00:34:56,931 --> 00:35:00,535
I'm not leaving my car here,
and I'm not taking an Uber,
656
00:35:01,368 --> 00:35:04,639
and I can't drive,
so you're taking me upstairs.
657
00:35:05,807 --> 00:35:07,709
You fucker.
658
00:35:14,949 --> 00:35:16,116
Lacy.
659
00:35:18,553 --> 00:35:19,721
Hang on. What are you doing?
660
00:35:20,054 --> 00:35:22,122
What does it look
like I'm doing?
661
00:35:23,223 --> 00:35:24,092
Okay.
662
00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:25,927
No, no, no, no. Here, here.
663
00:35:26,761 --> 00:35:28,596
Put this on, please.
664
00:35:29,664 --> 00:35:30,999
There. Arms up.
665
00:35:32,567 --> 00:35:34,535
Oh!
666
00:35:34,936 --> 00:35:36,169
There we go.
667
00:35:37,939 --> 00:35:39,339
You're really putting clothes on
me.
668
00:35:40,140 --> 00:35:41,341
You don't think I'm hot?
669
00:35:42,476 --> 00:35:45,847
-I'm hot, you fucker.
-Yes, no.
670
00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,050
You're very hot.
But it's cold in here.
671
00:35:50,183 --> 00:35:53,153
She is too freaking
hammered. Think fast.
672
00:35:53,286 --> 00:35:54,656
Give her a massage.
673
00:35:54,956 --> 00:35:57,324
She'll pass out and you
can get some sleep.
674
00:35:57,457 --> 00:35:58,526
Okay, here.
675
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,596
Turn around. There we go.
676
00:36:02,295 --> 00:36:03,965
Oh, wow.
Yeah, look, you're tense.
677
00:36:06,034 --> 00:36:07,501
-There we go.
-Are we having sex?
678
00:36:07,635 --> 00:36:09,236
What? No, no, no.
679
00:36:09,369 --> 00:36:11,238
Just rubbing your shoulders.
You're very tense.
680
00:36:11,371 --> 00:36:14,142
Just a little massage.
I want you to relax.
681
00:36:14,274 --> 00:36:15,375
And then we're having sex?
682
00:36:16,511 --> 00:36:19,147
Yeah, just close your eyes.
683
00:36:20,148 --> 00:36:21,916
Close your eyes. There we go.
684
00:36:22,050 --> 00:36:23,985
There we go.
685
00:36:36,798 --> 00:36:38,265
Oh, my God.
686
00:36:38,398 --> 00:36:39,399
Where am I?
687
00:36:40,168 --> 00:36:42,436
Oh, shit. It's you.
688
00:36:42,570 --> 00:36:43,738
Oh, I'm so drunk.
689
00:36:44,404 --> 00:36:46,239
No, no, just pretend
you're asleep.
690
00:36:46,507 --> 00:36:48,910
Let her calm down. Hopefully,
she'll go back to bed.
691
00:36:52,146 --> 00:36:53,181
You fucker.
692
00:36:54,048 --> 00:36:56,050
You motherfucker.
693
00:36:56,184 --> 00:36:57,752
I'm sorry, please. Stop.
694
00:36:59,252 --> 00:37:01,388
Get some sleep. I'm wiped out.
695
00:37:01,522 --> 00:37:03,024
I have to get up early in the
morning.
696
00:37:03,423 --> 00:37:04,491
Did you hear him?
697
00:37:05,225 --> 00:37:06,226
He's wiped out.
698
00:37:06,594 --> 00:37:08,361
He has to get up early in the
morning.
699
00:37:11,599 --> 00:37:13,067
You... fucker.
700
00:37:14,202 --> 00:37:15,235
Stop.
701
00:37:17,337 --> 00:37:18,873
You motherfucker.
702
00:37:19,339 --> 00:37:21,341
Please stop, please stop.
703
00:37:26,047 --> 00:37:27,648
You motherfucker.
704
00:37:27,782 --> 00:37:29,784
Okay, that's it. That's it.
705
00:37:29,917 --> 00:37:31,018
That's it.
706
00:37:31,219 --> 00:37:32,486
Oh, okay.
707
00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,421
Yeah, this would be fun.
708
00:37:34,622 --> 00:37:36,891
I don't care that you're drunk,
drugged, whatever it is.
709
00:37:37,091 --> 00:37:39,060
I'm not taking another
second of your crazy shit.
710
00:37:39,193 --> 00:37:40,494
Come on, get yourself. Get out.
711
00:37:40,862 --> 00:37:42,329
Go, get purse. Grab your purse.
712
00:37:42,462 --> 00:37:44,232
I'll help you with your things.
Go, this way.
713
00:37:44,364 --> 00:37:45,733
Door, that way.
714
00:37:55,810 --> 00:37:57,111
There, now you're blocked.
715
00:37:57,377 --> 00:37:58,646
You fucker.
716
00:37:58,780 --> 00:37:59,647
It was a beating.
717
00:37:59,981 --> 00:38:01,082
Three hours to get there.
718
00:38:01,281 --> 00:38:03,283
Gas, drinks, a lot of them.
719
00:38:03,483 --> 00:38:07,555
Hotel room and parking for the
night, and then four hours in
traffic, going home.
720
00:38:07,722 --> 00:38:08,890
Absolute total nightmare.
721
00:38:09,422 --> 00:38:11,993
And this was a girl that seemed
so normal and promising.
722
00:38:13,393 --> 00:38:15,630
Ended up being the worst by far.
723
00:38:16,831 --> 00:38:18,933
Well, at least up until that
point.
724
00:38:22,236 --> 00:38:23,805
I broke up with my
fiancé yesterday.
725
00:38:24,138 --> 00:38:25,840
You're my first
millionaire match-up date.
726
00:38:25,973 --> 00:38:28,209
I mean, I'm so happy we met.
727
00:38:28,341 --> 00:38:29,710
I like you so much.
728
00:38:30,410 --> 00:38:33,147
I have court tomorrow with my
ex-husband over child support.
729
00:38:33,346 --> 00:38:34,882
Do you want to go with me?
730
00:38:35,415 --> 00:38:37,718
But you're going to have to pick
me up. My car died.
731
00:38:37,852 --> 00:38:40,487
I need a new one, and my credit
sucks.
732
00:38:40,688 --> 00:38:44,625
Hey, do you know any car guys?
Can we stop and get some cereal,
milk,
733
00:38:44,759 --> 00:38:47,494
and eggs before you take me
home?
734
00:38:47,628 --> 00:38:49,263
I need to get some food for the
kids.
735
00:38:54,869 --> 00:38:55,937
Okay.
736
00:38:59,173 --> 00:39:00,373
Oh, my gosh.
737
00:39:00,575 --> 00:39:02,643
I want you so bad.
738
00:39:02,777 --> 00:39:04,312
I'm gonna give you this.
739
00:39:10,350 --> 00:39:11,652
Hey.
740
00:39:12,787 --> 00:39:13,855
Can't do this here.
741
00:39:14,222 --> 00:39:15,957
Yeah, sorry.
We're just heading out.
742
00:39:16,389 --> 00:39:19,560
Hey, ain't you that guy
from Midnight Eyes?
743
00:39:21,062 --> 00:39:23,931
-Yeah, I am.
-I knew it.
744
00:39:24,397 --> 00:39:26,433
You were a badass security
guard, man.
745
00:39:26,567 --> 00:39:27,835
You made me proud.
746
00:39:29,003 --> 00:39:30,370
Loved you in Midnight Eyes.
747
00:39:31,205 --> 00:39:33,908
Loved you in Midnight Eyes 3,
too.
748
00:39:39,747 --> 00:39:42,216
These dating sites can be so hit
or miss,
749
00:39:42,550 --> 00:39:45,686
-but you're really refreshing.
-Thank you.
750
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:47,255
You, too.
751
00:39:47,387 --> 00:39:49,624
I've had a wonderful night,
but I guess it's time we get
752
00:39:49,757 --> 00:39:50,925
you back home with your kids.
753
00:39:51,058 --> 00:39:52,260
No, I'm good.
754
00:39:52,392 --> 00:39:53,694
You're so sweet for asking.
755
00:39:54,061 --> 00:39:57,732
I needed a break, so I booked a
room.
756
00:39:58,766 --> 00:40:01,002
Come, walk me.
757
00:40:02,904 --> 00:40:04,205
Mmm.
758
00:40:10,878 --> 00:40:12,013
Come in for a minute.
759
00:40:12,513 --> 00:40:13,614
Sure.
760
00:40:15,116 --> 00:40:18,085
I am so hot for you.
761
00:40:19,754 --> 00:40:22,256
I need it right now. Come here.
762
00:40:22,390 --> 00:40:23,391
Hey!
763
00:40:23,524 --> 00:40:25,326
Slow, slow, slow down.
764
00:40:25,526 --> 00:40:26,661
We just met.
765
00:40:26,794 --> 00:40:29,429
But I really like you.
766
00:40:33,401 --> 00:40:35,603
-Come on.
-Oh, come on, I'm a doctor.
767
00:40:35,736 --> 00:40:37,437
I see patients all day.
768
00:40:37,571 --> 00:40:40,641
I go home to my husband who's a
wimp, and he's boring, and I'm
sick of him.
769
00:40:40,908 --> 00:40:44,578
At least he's there to watch the
kids when I'm gone, but I need
sex.
770
00:40:44,712 --> 00:40:46,914
I can't go home to him without
it.
771
00:40:47,447 --> 00:40:48,448
Come on, come on.
772
00:40:48,582 --> 00:40:50,618
This is not a good idea.
773
00:40:50,751 --> 00:40:52,153
STDs, AIDS, no condoms.
774
00:40:52,887 --> 00:40:55,556
Come on, you're a doctor,
and you live with your husband.
775
00:40:55,790 --> 00:40:57,758
You're married.
You have little kids at home.
776
00:40:57,892 --> 00:40:59,492
This is not a good combination.
777
00:40:59,627 --> 00:41:03,297
I know everything that you're
saying is true, and I don't
care.
778
00:41:03,431 --> 00:41:04,865
I really should get going.
779
00:41:05,266 --> 00:41:07,835
Come on, don't, please. I can't
believe you're turning me down.
780
00:41:07,969 --> 00:41:09,870
I do this all the time.
781
00:41:11,639 --> 00:41:13,808
Thank you for dinner.
You're a great talker.
782
00:41:14,909 --> 00:41:16,677
You're lucky you asked
me out before Wednesday.
783
00:41:17,011 --> 00:41:18,679
Why Wednesday?
784
00:41:18,879 --> 00:41:21,882
Because me and my girlfriend
have this rule that if a guy
asks you out
785
00:41:22,016 --> 00:41:25,553
for the weekend after Wednesday,
you say no, even if you have
786
00:41:25,686 --> 00:41:27,688
zero plans and sit at home
alone.
787
00:41:27,822 --> 00:41:29,489
I've never heard of that rule
before.
788
00:41:29,623 --> 00:41:30,992
Oh, it's a real rule.
789
00:41:33,627 --> 00:41:36,230
Dinner was so good,
and I love talking to you.
790
00:41:36,364 --> 00:41:37,431
me too.
791
00:41:38,532 --> 00:41:43,004
My girlfriends think that you
are so cute, and it's a big plus
that you
792
00:41:43,137 --> 00:41:44,338
haven't texted any of them.
793
00:41:45,773 --> 00:41:47,274
Not sure what that means.
794
00:41:47,641 --> 00:41:51,379
My girlfriends and I we're all
single, so we're all on the same
website,
795
00:41:51,512 --> 00:41:53,280
and a lot of the same guys will
text us.
796
00:41:53,881 --> 00:41:55,883
And we'll compare notes,
797
00:41:56,017 --> 00:41:58,819
especially when they
use the same lines
798
00:41:58,953 --> 00:42:01,088
and just cut and paste it to a
few of us.
799
00:42:01,222 --> 00:42:02,590
People do that?
800
00:42:02,723 --> 00:42:04,892
Wait, how many guys are you
and your friends talking to?
801
00:42:05,026 --> 00:42:09,397
I mean, you talk to a whole
bunch of guys, and then you
narrow it down to five or
802
00:42:09,530 --> 00:42:14,035
six, and then you whittle that
down to two or three, and then
down to one
803
00:42:14,168 --> 00:42:15,669
that seems most promising.
804
00:42:15,836 --> 00:42:17,538
Online dating is a big numbers
game.
805
00:42:19,407 --> 00:42:23,411
-So you know what tonight is?
-Uh, Thursday.
806
00:42:24,145 --> 00:42:25,980
It's the dreaded third
date.
807
00:42:26,313 --> 00:42:28,249
And what's dreaded about that?
808
00:42:28,682 --> 00:42:32,186
My girlfriends and I, we have
this rule that if you go out
with a guy
809
00:42:32,319 --> 00:42:35,723
three times, it's either
moving forward or it's not.
810
00:42:36,857 --> 00:42:37,992
So are we moving forward?
811
00:42:38,726 --> 00:42:40,628
We're still getting to know each
other.
812
00:42:40,761 --> 00:42:42,430
We really just met. Right.
813
00:42:42,563 --> 00:42:44,765
So I assume moving forward
is being exclusive?
814
00:42:45,166 --> 00:42:47,368
Well, my girlfriends and I,
we think you just know.
815
00:42:47,735 --> 00:42:49,570
And clearly, you don't.
816
00:42:51,772 --> 00:42:52,907
Wait a minute. That's it?
817
00:42:54,208 --> 00:42:55,609
Am I going to see you again?
818
00:42:55,743 --> 00:42:57,445
No, you won't.
819
00:42:57,578 --> 00:42:58,779
You had your chance.
820
00:43:00,549 --> 00:43:02,149
I'm not making this up.
This actually happened.
821
00:43:02,517 --> 00:43:03,518
I believe you.
822
00:43:04,051 --> 00:43:06,220
-Sounds like a lot of rules.
-Yeah, well, it is.
823
00:43:06,353 --> 00:43:08,823
It certainly seems like
you're casting a wider net.
824
00:43:09,056 --> 00:43:12,059
But the wider the net, the
greater variety of the catch.
825
00:43:12,193 --> 00:43:13,327
Yeah, this has definitely
been eye-opening.
826
00:43:13,461 --> 00:43:14,762
That's for sure.
827
00:43:14,895 --> 00:43:16,664
And don't tell me there are
plenty of fish in the sea.
828
00:43:16,797 --> 00:43:18,432
I know that.
829
00:43:18,567 --> 00:43:21,435
But I do think that you're
coming around to the notion that
a meaningful
830
00:43:21,570 --> 00:43:25,172
relationship is more than just
putting two like-minded people
together in a room.
831
00:43:25,372 --> 00:43:27,241
I never said that.
I don't think that.
832
00:43:27,441 --> 00:43:28,843
-Did I say that?
-You didn't say it.
833
00:43:29,076 --> 00:43:31,345
-Your behavior showed it.
-You know what I think?
834
00:43:31,745 --> 00:43:33,314
I think I need my own set of
rules.
835
00:43:43,958 --> 00:43:45,059
Marrit, hi.
836
00:43:45,326 --> 00:43:46,393
Jeff, how are you?
837
00:43:47,596 --> 00:43:49,096
I heard you move to the
neighborhood.
838
00:43:49,930 --> 00:43:53,300
I'm sorry to hear about your
divorce, but it's good for the
Jews, no?
839
00:43:54,235 --> 00:43:55,836
Yes, thank you. I just moved in.
840
00:43:55,970 --> 00:43:57,138
It's fully furnished.
841
00:43:57,972 --> 00:44:00,107
Walls are a little beige.
Karen got all the artwork.
842
00:44:00,808 --> 00:44:04,145
You know, I get a discount
at all of the local galleries.
843
00:44:04,278 --> 00:44:06,180
I never pay retail.
844
00:44:06,780 --> 00:44:07,882
Just ask my husband.
845
00:44:08,249 --> 00:44:10,751
- How is Irwin?
- Irwin?
846
00:44:10,918 --> 00:44:12,052
Revolting.
847
00:44:12,453 --> 00:44:15,422
He has elephantiasis of the
scrotum.
848
00:44:16,223 --> 00:44:20,060
His testicles are the size of
grapefruits. It's disgusting.
849
00:44:20,494 --> 00:44:22,296
I am sure he got some disease
from one
850
00:44:22,429 --> 00:44:26,133
of his bimbos, but I pretend not
to know,
851
00:44:26,267 --> 00:44:27,401
and he gets satisfied.
852
00:44:27,536 --> 00:44:29,103
So better them than me.
853
00:44:30,337 --> 00:44:34,175
So I am going to go home and
shower, but I know where you
live.
854
00:44:35,042 --> 00:44:38,212
I could come back later
and give you some ideas.
855
00:44:38,812 --> 00:44:39,847
Today?
856
00:44:40,447 --> 00:44:42,183
Sure.
Yeah, I guess I could work.
857
00:44:42,316 --> 00:44:45,052
Sam's stopping by to see the new
place, and then I have dinner
tonight,
858
00:44:45,186 --> 00:44:46,820
but we'll be done well before
then, right?
859
00:44:46,954 --> 00:44:48,657
Oh, that's up to you.
860
00:44:49,723 --> 00:44:50,858
I'll see you soon.
861
00:45:07,374 --> 00:45:09,210
-Hey, Sam, what's up?
-Marrit?
862
00:45:09,343 --> 00:45:10,411
Really?
863
00:45:12,647 --> 00:45:14,649
Be careful. She used to be in
the Israeli army.
864
00:45:14,915 --> 00:45:16,417
Hey, slow down. She's married.
865
00:45:16,685 --> 00:45:18,319
That ain't never stopped Marrit.
866
00:45:19,019 --> 00:45:21,455
Hey, let's hear it.
I want dating details.
867
00:45:21,656 --> 00:45:26,595
If you really want to know,
it's a feeding frenzy.
868
00:45:26,794 --> 00:45:28,295
It's freaking crazy.
869
00:45:28,429 --> 00:45:30,898
And they got all these rules,
the Wednesday rule, the
three-date rule.
870
00:45:31,031 --> 00:45:34,768
I'd have had my fair share of
dates, but I ain't never heard
of no three-date rule.
871
00:45:36,070 --> 00:45:37,171
It's a thing.
872
00:45:39,406 --> 00:45:41,475
Excuse me. Can I just ask you a
quick question?
873
00:45:41,610 --> 00:45:43,645
You ever hear of the three-date
rule?
874
00:45:43,844 --> 00:45:46,213
Of course. Everyone here goes by
the three-date rule.
875
00:45:46,914 --> 00:45:48,115
-Can you explain it to my
friend?
-Sure.
876
00:45:48,782 --> 00:45:51,553
If you go out with a guy three
times, you fuck him.
877
00:45:52,419 --> 00:45:53,655
Thank you.
878
00:45:54,755 --> 00:45:58,459
Man, how much is this new
feeding frenzy cost you so far?
879
00:45:58,593 --> 00:45:59,827
What are you talking about?
880
00:45:59,960 --> 00:46:01,895
I don't pay to try to have
sex with these women.
881
00:46:02,029 --> 00:46:03,197
You pay one way or the other.
882
00:46:03,732 --> 00:46:05,132
If you're married, you pay.
883
00:46:05,766 --> 00:46:07,201
If you're single, you pay.
884
00:46:07,935 --> 00:46:09,136
Hey, read my lips.
885
00:46:09,370 --> 00:46:13,040
There's no such thing as free
pussy.
886
00:46:13,807 --> 00:46:16,443
It's going to cost you someway,
somehow.
887
00:46:17,211 --> 00:46:19,179
-I guess you're right.
-You damn right, I'm right.
888
00:46:19,714 --> 00:46:22,850
It's probably a good thing, too,
with all this pound me too shit.
889
00:46:22,983 --> 00:46:24,118
What?
890
00:46:24,251 --> 00:46:25,687
Pound me too?
891
00:46:26,053 --> 00:46:27,221
What are you saying?
892
00:46:27,756 --> 00:46:30,357
Pound sign, me too.
893
00:46:30,491 --> 00:46:31,992
It's
894
00:46:32,226 --> 00:46:35,195
Man, I don't know what the hell
a hashtag is, but the pound sign
has been
895
00:46:35,329 --> 00:46:36,765
around for thousands of years.
896
00:46:37,264 --> 00:46:40,535
And whatever millennial fool
renamed a thousand-year-old
symbol,
897
00:46:40,669 --> 00:46:41,802
a fucking hashtag,
898
00:46:42,303 --> 00:46:45,406
doesn't mean I got to play
along. I ain't no sheep.
899
00:46:45,806 --> 00:46:47,474
Forget it. Let's go inside.
900
00:46:47,609 --> 00:46:49,310
Got to get ready for my next
date.
901
00:46:49,511 --> 00:46:50,612
I just want a real connection.
902
00:46:50,745 --> 00:46:52,681
I'm tired of being treated
like a piece of meat.
903
00:46:52,813 --> 00:46:54,516
Man, you're a glutton for
punishment.
904
00:47:00,522 --> 00:47:02,724
-Is this a good time?
-This is perfect.
905
00:47:02,890 --> 00:47:04,825
I was just getting ready
to go out to dinner.
906
00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:09,363
You definitely made a pop of
color on these walls.
907
00:47:10,699 --> 00:47:12,032
Lucky I know what to do.
908
00:47:12,801 --> 00:47:14,335
Overall, not too bad, though.
909
00:47:15,035 --> 00:47:16,170
Well, thanks.
910
00:47:16,303 --> 00:47:18,072
I mean, nobody really
sees it except for me.
911
00:47:18,205 --> 00:47:20,407
And that is what we need to
change.
912
00:47:21,643 --> 00:47:26,313
You know, Irwin is out of town,
and we have all night if we
want.
913
00:47:26,447 --> 00:47:28,048
Remember, I have dinner What's
your plan?
914
00:47:28,182 --> 00:47:31,285
Boychik, I'll make you
forget all about food.
915
00:47:32,353 --> 00:47:33,555
Ow, you're hurting me.
916
00:47:33,688 --> 00:47:35,657
I know.
917
00:47:37,858 --> 00:47:40,528
Wait, did you learn that in the
army?
918
00:47:42,496 --> 00:47:45,366
-Oh, please tell me you are
circumcised.
-Well, yes.
919
00:47:45,567 --> 00:47:46,701
Thank God.
920
00:47:47,669 --> 00:47:52,005
After Irwin's testicles, I
couldn't take another
aberration.
921
00:47:56,910 --> 00:47:57,911
Hang on, hang on.
922
00:47:58,045 --> 00:48:00,381
This is not a good idea.
You're married.
923
00:48:00,515 --> 00:48:04,952
-I know Irwin.
-So. Irwin is a
disgusting chazzer, a pig.
924
00:48:05,085 --> 00:48:07,388
-Yes, but we...
-Shh.
925
00:48:07,888 --> 00:48:10,859
Marrit needs a release.
926
00:48:14,161 --> 00:48:15,129
Ahh.
927
00:48:15,262 --> 00:48:16,397
What's that?
928
00:48:19,433 --> 00:48:24,739
Bootleg Quaalude... Make us
crazy, and we make love all
night.
929
00:48:32,614 --> 00:48:34,883
Hey, look, this is a really bad
idea.
930
00:48:35,015 --> 00:48:36,350
And no, you can't stay here
tonight.
931
00:48:36,518 --> 00:48:39,621
I have dinner plans, and I'm
not taking some bootleg drug.
932
00:48:39,754 --> 00:48:41,523
You little shit.
933
00:48:42,089 --> 00:48:48,128
You, of all people, you get back
on this sofa right now and you
make me come.
934
00:48:48,897 --> 00:48:49,898
No.
935
00:48:50,030 --> 00:48:52,433
I'm sorry. This is a mistake.
936
00:48:52,767 --> 00:48:54,034
I have dinner. I have to leave.
937
00:48:54,736 --> 00:48:57,605
Take your time.
Show yourself out.
938
00:48:57,739 --> 00:49:00,708
You are nothing like your
cheap movies, Jeff Brock.
939
00:49:01,308 --> 00:49:03,110
You are a little bitch.
940
00:49:15,824 --> 00:49:18,091
I don't have a car right now,
and I have work in the morning,
941
00:49:18,225 --> 00:49:20,260
and my office is right next
door.
942
00:49:20,461 --> 00:49:22,530
So you have two choices.
943
00:49:23,997 --> 00:49:27,134
You can take me home and fuck me
with that big cock of yours and
then drop
944
00:49:27,267 --> 00:49:31,104
me off at work in the morning,
or you can take me all the way
home,
945
00:49:31,305 --> 00:49:34,007
which is an hour each way.
946
00:49:34,141 --> 00:49:35,510
Your choice.
947
00:49:39,079 --> 00:49:40,481
Yeah, I only drink vodka.
948
00:49:41,315 --> 00:49:45,185
And ever since my husband died,
it's cocktail hour for me all
the time.
949
00:49:46,086 --> 00:49:47,221
Did I tell you?
950
00:49:47,354 --> 00:49:48,322
I have a really big clit.
951
00:49:51,992 --> 00:49:55,295
So at first I thought it was the
alcohol that was the common
denominator that was
952
00:49:55,429 --> 00:49:57,130
causing all this inappropriate
behavior.
953
00:49:57,498 --> 00:50:00,133
But some of them are even
crazier when they're stone cold,
sober.
954
00:50:00,267 --> 00:50:01,970
I don't get it. I don't.
955
00:50:02,102 --> 00:50:05,072
And I'm trying to do everything
that I can just to find somebody
who's normal.
956
00:50:05,607 --> 00:50:09,511
So what you're saying is you're
a magnet for the crazy train.
957
00:50:09,844 --> 00:50:11,011
Is that it?
958
00:50:11,946 --> 00:50:15,717
Bro, you are the common
denominator. You ever think
about that?
959
00:50:16,651 --> 00:50:17,785
So tell me this.
960
00:50:18,051 --> 00:50:21,856
Every woman in town goes
from zero to horny in
961
00:50:21,990 --> 00:50:23,156
2.5 cocktails.
962
00:50:23,357 --> 00:50:25,593
Then they transmogrify
963
00:50:25,827 --> 00:50:28,362
into the night of the Living
Dead and want to shove pills
964
00:50:28,495 --> 00:50:30,765
-down her mouth in yours.
-Yes.
965
00:50:30,899 --> 00:50:32,366
Now, that's some crazy shit.
966
00:50:38,071 --> 00:50:40,173
Your lips are so soft.
967
00:50:40,307 --> 00:50:42,877
They're like a Rolls-Royce.
968
00:50:43,011 --> 00:50:45,747
Have you ever said that
to anyone before?
969
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:48,115
No, and honestly, it just
slipped out.
970
00:50:48,248 --> 00:50:52,085
Because that sounds just like
something our lover would have
said.
971
00:50:52,219 --> 00:50:54,054
Our lover?
972
00:50:54,589 --> 00:50:56,256
Yeah.
973
00:50:56,423 --> 00:51:00,494
Probably not great first-date
talk, but I believe in full
disclosure.
974
00:51:00,662 --> 00:51:05,132
And I kind of like you, so here
it goes.
975
00:51:06,199 --> 00:51:11,673
After a few years, my ex-husband
and I decided to have an open
marriage.
976
00:51:13,541 --> 00:51:18,245
We had a lover, a woman, a few
of them actually, but only one
at a time.
977
00:51:19,212 --> 00:51:24,451
At first it was cool and sexy,
but then after a while,
978
00:51:24,586 --> 00:51:26,554
he started to gravitate more
towards them.
979
00:51:26,688 --> 00:51:29,389
According to him, it was because
they swallowed and I don't.
980
00:51:30,324 --> 00:51:32,627
Then once he came,
I couldn't even do my move.
981
00:51:32,760 --> 00:51:33,895
Your move?
982
00:51:35,095 --> 00:51:36,330
I have this move.
983
00:51:36,764 --> 00:51:41,134
If you were inside of me, I
hunch my pelvis and grind it in
a
984
00:51:41,268 --> 00:51:45,506
certain way, and then I just go
crazy.
985
00:51:45,640 --> 00:51:50,011
Anyway, he started to think it
was okay to see them without me,
986
00:51:50,410 --> 00:51:53,447
and our marriage just went away.
987
00:51:54,916 --> 00:51:57,018
Yeah, wow. That's a lot.
988
00:51:57,919 --> 00:52:00,420
Like I said, I'm all
about full disclosure.
989
00:52:01,388 --> 00:52:04,659
Have you ever considered that
your film career might be part
of your problems?
990
00:52:05,292 --> 00:52:06,426
What? No.
991
00:52:07,595 --> 00:52:08,596
Not really.
992
00:52:10,130 --> 00:52:11,398
I don't know. Maybe.
993
00:52:11,766 --> 00:52:14,267
You've already told me that some
of your dates have googled you
994
00:52:14,401 --> 00:52:15,737
in advance of meeting.
995
00:52:15,870 --> 00:52:18,271
That means they've seen you in a
series of revealing photographs.
996
00:52:18,405 --> 00:52:19,406
The shirtless hunk...
997
00:52:20,008 --> 00:52:22,677
I guess I have to make you
want to see me, don't I?
998
00:52:22,877 --> 00:52:25,178
Perhaps they've seen you in your
movies and your love scenes with
999
00:52:25,312 --> 00:52:26,781
a variety of young starlets.
1000
00:52:26,981 --> 00:52:29,017
-Let me at least give you a
blowjob.
-Hey, stop.
1001
00:52:29,149 --> 00:52:31,052
Yeah, but that was just a job.
It's acting.
1002
00:52:31,184 --> 00:52:32,854
It's fantasy. It's not real.
1003
00:52:33,021 --> 00:52:34,555
True.
1004
00:52:34,689 --> 00:52:36,791
But is it too much to consider
that they might think that
they're
1005
00:52:36,924 --> 00:52:38,291
part of this fantasy as well?
1006
00:52:38,626 --> 00:52:40,193
Come on, you can't be serious.
1007
00:52:41,095 --> 00:52:42,096
Can't I?
1008
00:52:51,304 --> 00:52:52,540
The rain.
1009
00:52:52,674 --> 00:52:55,342
Oh, I love the rain.
1010
00:52:55,475 --> 00:52:57,344
This is beautiful.
1011
00:52:57,477 --> 00:52:58,613
Oh.
1012
00:53:02,784 --> 00:53:03,885
You know?
1013
00:53:05,053 --> 00:53:07,722
You have an artist spirit.
1014
00:53:07,855 --> 00:53:09,657
-I am artist, too.
-You're an artist.
1015
00:53:09,791 --> 00:53:10,892
What kind of art?
1016
00:53:11,291 --> 00:53:13,061
I am tambourine artist.
1017
00:53:13,460 --> 00:53:15,863
Also ballerina, also Olympics
swimmer.
1018
00:53:17,131 --> 00:53:18,365
Tambourine art? What is that?
1019
00:53:18,866 --> 00:53:20,535
I'll show you.
1020
00:53:46,194 --> 00:53:47,327
You like?
1021
00:53:47,829 --> 00:53:50,164
I take lessons twice a week.
1022
00:53:52,166 --> 00:53:53,534
-It shows.
-Mmm.
1023
00:53:55,837 --> 00:53:57,939
And my son, Hunter,
he's such a good student.
1024
00:53:58,072 --> 00:54:00,240
He goes to SMU and loves it.
1025
00:54:00,373 --> 00:54:03,211
And his girlfriend, Sheranda,
is the cutest thing.
1026
00:54:03,578 --> 00:54:06,848
And everybody thinks she's
black, but she's not, because of
her name.
1027
00:54:07,380 --> 00:54:09,684
Please, please stop
talking.
1028
00:54:10,218 --> 00:54:12,319
My jaw hurts from pretending
to smile all night.
1029
00:54:12,452 --> 00:54:14,421
I'm not listening to a word
you're saying.
1030
00:54:15,255 --> 00:54:16,224
I just want to leave.
1031
00:54:16,958 --> 00:54:20,393
Anyway, they met at SMU, and
they are just the cutest couple.
1032
00:54:20,528 --> 00:54:23,263
And as you know,
SMU is not easy to get into.
1033
00:54:23,531 --> 00:54:26,033
-So I go to see them a lot.
-Excuse me, check, please.
1034
00:54:26,634 --> 00:54:28,401
Wait, I'm not done.
1035
00:54:28,536 --> 00:54:30,938
-I want dessert.
-Are you sure?
1036
00:54:31,139 --> 00:54:32,707
I mean, sure.
1037
00:54:33,273 --> 00:54:34,976
The lady would like some
dessert, please.
1038
00:54:35,109 --> 00:54:37,245
I will have another glass of
wine.
1039
00:54:37,377 --> 00:54:39,547
And do you have fresh
berries and whipped cream?
1040
00:54:39,814 --> 00:54:40,882
Yes, we do.
1041
00:54:41,215 --> 00:54:42,917
Great.
How Is your whip cream made?
1042
00:54:44,152 --> 00:54:45,586
Uhmm...
1043
00:54:45,720 --> 00:54:47,588
I'm not sure I understand.
1044
00:54:48,455 --> 00:54:51,358
A whip cream is made with heavy
whipping cream, vanilla extract,
and sugar.
1045
00:54:51,491 --> 00:54:52,860
Unless they add some flavoring.
1046
00:54:52,994 --> 00:54:55,263
So she's just going to do the
berries and whip cream, please.
1047
00:54:55,395 --> 00:54:59,000
-And thank you.
-Wait, I want to know how it's
made.
1048
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:01,368
I just told you how it's made.
1049
00:55:01,969 --> 00:55:04,437
Well, I'd like to know
for sure how it's made.
1050
00:55:05,940 --> 00:55:08,142
I'm quite sure it's what he just
said.
1051
00:55:09,409 --> 00:55:10,745
I want her to ask the chef.
1052
00:55:11,646 --> 00:55:12,947
I will speak to the chef.
1053
00:55:16,651 --> 00:55:19,020
Why does this keep
happening to me?
1054
00:55:19,620 --> 00:55:22,023
I just need to stop dating.
1055
00:55:22,156 --> 00:55:24,625
God, I can't stand another
minute of this.
1056
00:55:25,159 --> 00:55:26,260
Here you go.
1057
00:55:29,831 --> 00:55:33,433
I spoke to the chef, and it's
exactly as the gentleman said,
1058
00:55:33,968 --> 00:55:36,904
fresh whipping cream,
vanilla, and cane sugar.
1059
00:55:37,505 --> 00:55:39,874
Great. I'll have it then.
1060
00:55:45,646 --> 00:55:48,149
Mmm. That is so good.
1061
00:55:48,549 --> 00:55:51,384
I just wanted to make sure it
wasn't that old, canned stuff.
1062
00:55:52,119 --> 00:55:55,857
So the real question was not how
is your whipped cream made?
1063
00:55:55,990 --> 00:55:58,526
It was actually whether or
not it was canned or fresh.
1064
00:55:58,726 --> 00:56:00,360
The whipped cream is great.
We're good.
1065
00:56:00,528 --> 00:56:03,463
-Thanks.
-Can I get you anything else?
1066
00:56:03,698 --> 00:56:05,933
-Maybe some coffee?
-Oh, no coffee.
1067
00:56:06,167 --> 00:56:08,336
Just the check, please.
And here's my card.
1068
00:56:08,468 --> 00:56:09,770
-Thank you.
-What's your hurry?
1069
00:56:10,338 --> 00:56:11,706
I want to sit and talk to you.
1070
00:56:12,974 --> 00:56:15,610
But we've already talked so much
already.
1071
00:56:16,344 --> 00:56:18,012
At least you have.
1072
00:56:18,546 --> 00:56:19,847
What does that mean?
1073
00:56:20,715 --> 00:56:24,018
You've done absolutely nothing
but just talk about yourself for
two straight hours.
1074
00:56:24,151 --> 00:56:26,787
You haven't asked me once
anything about myself, my life.
1075
00:56:26,988 --> 00:56:29,156
I mean, really about
anything for that matter.
1076
00:56:30,057 --> 00:56:31,926
That's really mean.
1077
00:56:32,760 --> 00:56:34,128
I'm not trying to be mean.
1078
00:56:34,262 --> 00:56:35,696
I'm just telling you the truth.
1079
00:56:35,830 --> 00:56:37,430
That's no way to get to know
somebody.
1080
00:56:39,834 --> 00:56:43,070
I-I thought it was going so
well.
1081
00:56:43,704 --> 00:56:45,373
How could you possibly
think this was going well?
1082
00:56:45,506 --> 00:56:47,708
We're obviously not going
to see each other again.
1083
00:56:48,075 --> 00:56:49,343
How can you say that?
1084
00:56:50,878 --> 00:56:55,082
Look, I'm sorry, but
I just have to be honest.
1085
00:56:55,415 --> 00:56:59,020
You berated our poor waitress
over how to make whipped cream.
1086
00:56:59,452 --> 00:57:02,455
This is Le Petite Moule, for
God's sakes. It's not Denny's.
1087
00:57:07,361 --> 00:57:08,562
Thank you.
1088
00:57:09,563 --> 00:57:10,698
I really need to leave.
1089
00:57:11,732 --> 00:57:13,267
I'm sorry.
1090
00:57:13,401 --> 00:57:15,603
I know you Ubered here, and so
I'm happy to drop you off
wherever
1091
00:57:15,736 --> 00:57:18,339
you need, or I could send
an Uber for you if you'd like.
1092
00:57:18,606 --> 00:57:19,640
I--
1093
00:57:20,473 --> 00:57:21,609
Why are you crying?
1094
00:57:22,475 --> 00:57:23,544
Because I liked you.
1095
00:57:24,444 --> 00:57:26,147
You don't know anything about
me.
1096
00:57:27,248 --> 00:57:28,983
You had two hours to find out.
1097
00:57:30,284 --> 00:57:32,086
I'm not going anywhere.
1098
00:57:32,452 --> 00:57:33,421
I'm staying here.
1099
00:57:33,554 --> 00:57:34,722
I can get my own Uber.
1100
00:57:36,223 --> 00:57:37,291
Are you sure?
1101
00:57:39,593 --> 00:57:43,164
Okay, because I'm really
uncomfortable, and I can't sit
here for another minute.
1102
00:57:44,231 --> 00:57:46,133
Just go, then.
1103
00:58:03,784 --> 00:58:04,785
Dione?
1104
00:58:04,919 --> 00:58:06,721
Oh, hello Jeff.
1105
00:58:06,854 --> 00:58:08,889
- So nice to meet you.
- Oh, hi.
1106
00:58:09,023 --> 00:58:11,892
Hi. I brought coffee, and
croissants.
1107
00:58:12,026 --> 00:58:13,894
Thank you very much.
1108
00:58:14,261 --> 00:58:16,764
How about we share them and take
a walk?
1109
00:58:17,698 --> 00:58:18,866
I'm sorry for staring.
1110
00:58:19,000 --> 00:58:20,901
You're just so much
prettier than your photos.
1111
00:58:21,035 --> 00:58:24,338
- But yes, I would love
to go for a walk with you.
1112
00:58:25,272 --> 00:58:27,141
Yeah.
1113
00:58:27,274 --> 00:58:28,642
Wait, so how do you say it?
1114
00:58:28,809 --> 00:58:30,177
Le Petit Chou.
1115
00:58:30,378 --> 00:58:31,879
-Le Petit Chou.
-Mmm-hmm.
1116
00:58:32,013 --> 00:58:33,647
-And what does this mean?
-Little Cabbage.
1117
00:58:33,781 --> 00:58:35,883
Little Cabbage.
And that's a term of endearment?
1118
00:58:36,317 --> 00:58:37,551
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
1119
00:58:37,818 --> 00:58:39,687
The water is so beautiful.
1120
00:58:39,954 --> 00:58:42,323
Yeah, almost as beautiful as
you.
1121
00:58:43,958 --> 00:58:48,662
Look, Jeff, I really like you,
but I have this three-dates rule
1122
00:58:48,796 --> 00:58:50,264
before I sleep with someone.
1123
00:58:50,798 --> 00:58:52,800
Yeah, I hear that's the thing
around here.
1124
00:58:53,734 --> 00:58:58,873
A coffee and croissant count as
breakfast, so we can get lunch
if you're free
1125
00:58:59,006 --> 00:59:02,410
and dinner if you're free and
get it all out of the way today.
1126
00:59:03,377 --> 00:59:04,211
Hmm?
1127
00:59:04,712 --> 00:59:06,480
So you want to do three dates in
one day?
1128
00:59:07,516 --> 00:59:09,450
God, you make me want you now.
1129
00:59:09,583 --> 00:59:12,253
I have a confession.
1130
00:59:13,487 --> 00:59:15,756
-Already?
-I hope you don't judge.
1131
00:59:16,525 --> 00:59:18,559
No, of course.
I'll try to keep an open mind.
1132
00:59:19,693 --> 00:59:21,629
I want you in my derrière.
1133
00:59:22,163 --> 00:59:23,497
It is my preference.
1134
00:59:24,533 --> 00:59:25,633
A little bit more.
1135
00:59:25,766 --> 00:59:26,667
The little death.
1136
00:59:27,168 --> 00:59:29,370
Orgasm 10 times more strong.
1137
00:59:30,371 --> 00:59:32,006
I hope that is okay.
1138
00:59:32,940 --> 00:59:36,577
You mean as a condiment or a
main course?
1139
00:59:36,710 --> 00:59:38,279
As a main course.
1140
00:59:38,412 --> 00:59:40,815
Damn, that's like having Grey
Poupon for breakfast, lunch, and
dinner.
1141
00:59:40,948 --> 00:59:42,783
-Yeah.
-Hey, don't get me wrong.
1142
00:59:42,917 --> 00:59:45,219
I like a little spicy
mustard every night then.
1143
00:59:45,520 --> 00:59:48,222
But know a little goes a long
ways.
1144
00:59:50,559 --> 00:59:52,993
-Here are those drinks for you.
-Thank you, love.
1145
00:59:53,127 --> 00:59:54,495
Of course.
1146
00:59:54,628 --> 00:59:57,431
Pardon me, but can you tell me
how your whipped cream is made?
1147
00:59:58,132 --> 00:59:59,166
Excuse me?
1148
01:00:00,034 --> 01:00:01,335
Stop. Don't listen to him.
1149
01:00:01,469 --> 01:00:02,703
Ignore everything he says.
1150
01:00:02,837 --> 01:00:04,638
Can I just please get
the Arugula salad with chicken?
1151
01:00:04,772 --> 01:00:05,906
Mmm-hmm. Sure thing.
1152
01:00:06,307 --> 01:00:08,676
-And for you?
-And I'll have the Nicoise.
1153
01:00:08,876 --> 01:00:11,679
-Just a light sear on the tuna,
please.
-Perfect.
1154
01:00:12,113 --> 01:00:16,016
I'll get that right out to you,
and I will check on that whipped
cream.
1155
01:00:16,150 --> 01:00:17,418
Thank you.
1156
01:00:17,751 --> 01:00:20,589
With a light sear on that tuna,
please.
1157
01:00:22,723 --> 01:00:24,091
You know what has become
abundantly clear to me?
1158
01:00:24,225 --> 01:00:25,960
Enlighten me.
1159
01:00:26,093 --> 01:00:28,362
You've been spending way too
much time on these dates with
these women.
1160
01:00:28,496 --> 01:00:30,030
You need to cut them short.
1161
01:00:30,798 --> 01:00:32,466
How do you suggest I do that?
1162
01:00:32,967 --> 01:00:35,703
No more meals, coffee or happy
hour only.
1163
01:00:36,270 --> 01:00:39,541
You're going to save a shitload
of money, and it won't take you
2 hours to realize
1164
01:00:39,673 --> 01:00:41,075
whether they're psycho or not.
1165
01:00:41,610 --> 01:00:44,345
You'll be able to discover that
shit in the first three minutes.
1166
01:00:45,312 --> 01:00:46,780
That's actually a great idea.
1167
01:00:46,914 --> 01:00:48,382
Yeah.
1168
01:00:50,985 --> 01:00:52,319
Have you ever had a
happy ending?
1169
01:00:53,588 --> 01:00:54,822
That's an interesting question.
1170
01:00:55,656 --> 01:00:57,391
Why do you ask?
1171
01:00:57,526 --> 01:01:00,694
Because I just went to Cancun
with my girlfriends, and I got a
happy ending.
1172
01:01:00,828 --> 01:01:01,929
Really?
1173
01:01:02,796 --> 01:01:05,634
Isn't it typically the guy
who gets a happy ending?
1174
01:01:05,766 --> 01:01:06,867
Not this time.
1175
01:01:07,636 --> 01:01:13,908
I went to the spa and I had this
Mr. Har-vay, and he was rubbing
me so good.
1176
01:01:14,041 --> 01:01:16,877
And then he told me to flip over
on my back, and he started
massaging
1177
01:01:17,077 --> 01:01:22,249
my legs and then my thighs,
and he went a little higher up
1178
01:01:22,383 --> 01:01:29,924
on my thighs, and I said Oh,
and so he went a little higher.
1179
01:01:30,057 --> 01:01:35,329
And I said oooh, and before you
know it, his head is
1180
01:01:35,462 --> 01:01:37,364
between my legs and I got a
happy ending.
1181
01:01:37,865 --> 01:01:40,367
And it did not take long.
1182
01:01:41,135 --> 01:01:44,038
-Well, I I hope you tipped the
man.
-Well, of course.
1183
01:01:44,872 --> 01:01:48,075
I went to the spa desk to check
out and told him I wanted to
leave a tip.
1184
01:01:48,309 --> 01:01:52,179
And they asked who my monsieur
was, and I said, Har-vay.
1185
01:01:52,379 --> 01:01:53,847
And they smiled, and they looked
1186
01:01:53,981 --> 01:01:59,588
at each other and they said,
"Oh? Har-vay."
1187
01:01:59,720 --> 01:02:01,121
Did you go back and tell your
girlfriends?
1188
01:02:01,656 --> 01:02:03,324
Well, hell, yeah, I did.
1189
01:02:04,225 --> 01:02:05,492
And it was so good.
1190
01:02:06,026 --> 01:02:07,995
I went back the next
day and I did it again.
1191
01:02:11,265 --> 01:02:12,933
Oh, He's in high demand.
1192
01:02:13,568 --> 01:02:14,735
Believe you me.
1193
01:02:17,171 --> 01:02:19,740
The kids and I just got back
from spring break in Cancun.
1194
01:02:19,940 --> 01:02:21,141
Nice. Was it fun?
1195
01:02:21,742 --> 01:02:25,412
They had a blast, and I just
spent all day pampering myself
at the spa.
1196
01:02:25,547 --> 01:02:27,515
Manny's, Petty's, facials.
1197
01:02:28,115 --> 01:02:32,119
And the best massage ever,
if you know what I mean.
1198
01:02:33,187 --> 01:02:36,625
-Do you mean a happy ending?
-Hell, yes.
1199
01:02:36,757 --> 01:02:38,727
And it was cosmic.
1200
01:02:39,793 --> 01:02:41,228
Was his name Har-vay?
1201
01:02:41,395 --> 01:02:46,400
-And did he like bury his face
down there.
-What?
1202
01:02:46,534 --> 01:02:47,702
God, no. That's gross.
1203
01:02:49,638 --> 01:02:50,672
But he did get me off with those
1204
01:02:50,871 --> 01:02:53,575
stubby little Mexican fingers.
1205
01:03:00,781 --> 01:03:01,849
Jeff.
1206
01:03:02,049 --> 01:03:03,984
Hi, I'm Carla.
1207
01:03:06,253 --> 01:03:07,254
Hi, Jeff.
1208
01:03:07,388 --> 01:03:08,956
I'm Amanda.
1209
01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:15,129
Hi, Jeff. I'm Rebecca.
1210
01:03:15,329 --> 01:03:19,066
- You look just like your
pictures.
- Thanks.
1211
01:03:20,267 --> 01:03:24,972
I grew up with morals and
sensibilities, and if anything,
guys were inappropriate.
1212
01:03:25,806 --> 01:03:29,009
But in today's dating world,
people say anything, do anything
1213
01:03:29,209 --> 01:03:30,679
without even thinking about it.
1214
01:03:30,911 --> 01:03:33,981
I mean, if I got a happy ending
at a spa, I wouldn't be
broadcasting
1215
01:03:34,114 --> 01:03:35,784
it on a first date.
1216
01:03:35,916 --> 01:03:37,384
And then what's up with
catfishing?
1217
01:03:37,519 --> 01:03:39,053
The bait and switch photos?
1218
01:03:39,253 --> 01:03:41,556
They know they're going to meet
you eventually, and you're
expecting
1219
01:03:41,690 --> 01:03:43,190
Beyoncé and in walks Bigfoot.
1220
01:03:54,034 --> 01:03:56,236
Jeff, you are a handsome one.
1221
01:03:56,370 --> 01:03:59,139
Thank you, Hilde, and you're
beautiful.
1222
01:04:00,007 --> 01:04:01,475
Thank you.
1223
01:04:01,609 --> 01:04:02,943
Cocktail's yours.
1224
01:04:03,143 --> 01:04:06,347
I wasn't sure what you wanted,
so I just ordered you a vodka.
1225
01:04:06,480 --> 01:04:08,982
Vodka's perfect.
But I thought you didn't drink.
1226
01:04:09,116 --> 01:04:10,384
I don't.
1227
01:04:10,652 --> 01:04:13,487
But I love seeing normies drink.
1228
01:04:13,655 --> 01:04:15,824
- It's nice to know you
think I'm a normie.
1229
01:04:17,257 --> 01:04:19,561
Okay, so you don't drink.
You're a therapist.
1230
01:04:19,694 --> 01:04:22,597
-Well, hypnotherapy, right?
-Yes.
1231
01:04:22,731 --> 01:04:25,499
What patients do you normally
counsel?
1232
01:04:27,000 --> 01:04:27,968
Mostly addiction.
1233
01:04:28,670 --> 01:04:31,405
I was an addict for 10 years.
1234
01:04:31,806 --> 01:04:33,474
So I've got lots of experience.
1235
01:04:34,542 --> 01:04:35,777
Wow, but an addict?
1236
01:04:36,343 --> 01:04:37,478
So what was your addiction?
1237
01:04:37,712 --> 01:04:39,079
Drugs, darling.
1238
01:04:39,514 --> 01:04:41,850
Meth, heroin, alcohol.
1239
01:04:42,249 --> 01:04:43,917
-The hard stuff.
-Yes.
1240
01:04:44,151 --> 01:04:50,224
But I've been sober for five
years, and I love normies.
1241
01:04:50,357 --> 01:04:52,092
People who can control it.
1242
01:04:52,359 --> 01:04:54,094
You can just tell that I'm a
normie?
1243
01:04:54,662 --> 01:04:56,196
I don't know if that's
a good thing or a bad thing.
1244
01:04:56,330 --> 01:04:57,565
Oh, it's lovely, darling.
1245
01:04:57,732 --> 01:04:59,233
It makes you very sexy.
1246
01:05:00,769 --> 01:05:02,035
So you just had a recent
breakup, right?
1247
01:05:03,337 --> 01:05:04,371
Yes.
1248
01:05:04,506 --> 01:05:06,608
And dating is such a chore.
1249
01:05:07,374 --> 01:05:10,845
Quite simply, I'm just a one-man
woman.
1250
01:05:12,112 --> 01:05:15,683
So what's your sexual fantasy
then?
1251
01:05:16,283 --> 01:05:18,419
Wow, and even stone cold
sober.
1252
01:05:20,354 --> 01:05:22,122
Well, I don't know.
1253
01:05:22,256 --> 01:05:26,460
I haven't really thought about
it that much, but if I did, I
imagine it was
1254
01:05:26,594 --> 01:05:28,696
vastly different than it was 10
years ago.
1255
01:05:30,130 --> 01:05:31,331
What about you?
1256
01:05:31,733 --> 01:05:35,402
Well, like I said,
I'm just a one-man woman.
1257
01:05:36,704 --> 01:05:40,040
But I do fancy a bird every now
and again.
1258
01:05:40,307 --> 01:05:46,146
Well, maybe once a month It's
more of a need than a fantasy, I
suppose.
1259
01:05:47,281 --> 01:05:48,516
Bird?
1260
01:05:48,716 --> 01:05:51,619
Sorry, a girl, a woman.
1261
01:05:53,120 --> 01:05:54,889
Uh, Oh.
1262
01:05:58,125 --> 01:06:00,461
It's just something I need
to satisfy every now and again.
1263
01:06:00,595 --> 01:06:03,363
Okay, so what bird do you fancy?
1264
01:06:03,497 --> 01:06:07,936
I quite like darker, big tits,
big ass,
1265
01:06:08,068 --> 01:06:11,806
you know, rather the zaftig and
swarthy.
1266
01:06:11,940 --> 01:06:15,309
Opposites attract, I suppose.
1267
01:06:15,442 --> 01:06:16,477
So how does that work?
1268
01:06:16,911 --> 01:06:19,279
You just walk into a bar and
find someone?
1269
01:06:19,413 --> 01:06:20,782
How do you know which one's
going to be receptive?
1270
01:06:20,915 --> 01:06:22,449
Don't be daft.
1271
01:06:22,650 --> 01:06:24,151
You never do it at home, silly.
1272
01:06:25,085 --> 01:06:26,386
You go out of town.
1273
01:06:27,622 --> 01:06:31,793
But how are you going to find
someone who fits the criteria in
a strange place?
1274
01:06:32,794 --> 01:06:35,830
You really are sweet
and naive, aren't you?
1275
01:06:36,664 --> 01:06:40,367
You call a service,
and you pay for it, love.
1276
01:06:41,368 --> 01:06:42,670
Oh, like a hooker.
1277
01:06:44,371 --> 01:06:45,974
But an escort?
1278
01:06:46,708 --> 01:06:47,407
A service?
1279
01:06:47,542 --> 01:06:49,142
Okay, I got it. I got it.
1280
01:06:49,276 --> 01:06:55,550
You call up a service and you
ask for a dark, zaftig swarthy
girl with big
1281
01:06:55,683 --> 01:06:58,018
tits and big ass to come to your
room.
1282
01:06:59,687 --> 01:07:01,121
And you just do it alone?
1283
01:07:01,355 --> 01:07:03,056
Of course not, no.
1284
01:07:03,190 --> 01:07:06,493
I told you, I'm a one-man woman.
1285
01:07:06,628 --> 01:07:11,699
I want you, if you were
my man, to do it with me.
1286
01:07:11,900 --> 01:07:12,834
Boss.
1287
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:15,870
The man is always boss of the
bedroom.
1288
01:07:17,137 --> 01:07:18,740
So what does that look like?
1289
01:07:19,072 --> 01:07:20,173
Okay, darling.
1290
01:07:20,474 --> 01:07:22,242
Well, the girl comes to the
room.
1291
01:07:22,844 --> 01:07:27,347
I undress her, she undresses me,
and I have her go down on me.
1292
01:07:28,583 --> 01:07:29,717
And then what would I?
1293
01:07:29,918 --> 01:07:34,221
If I was your man, what would I
do?
1294
01:07:35,255 --> 01:07:37,792
Whatever you want, darling.
1295
01:07:38,660 --> 01:07:41,930
Then I like to go down on her
while the man takes me from
behind.
1296
01:07:46,768 --> 01:07:47,769
Poor thing.
1297
01:07:48,101 --> 01:07:50,137
You should see your face.
1298
01:07:50,270 --> 01:07:52,439
Bet she didn't put that shit
in her dating profile.
1299
01:07:52,574 --> 01:07:55,309
Damn. If she did, I'd be all
over that.
1300
01:07:55,543 --> 01:07:56,711
Now, that's my therapy.
1301
01:07:57,579 --> 01:07:58,713
You got issues, man.
1302
01:07:59,079 --> 01:08:00,380
I just want normal and easy.
1303
01:08:01,214 --> 01:08:02,917
What about that situation?
1304
01:08:03,116 --> 01:08:04,418
Is normal and easy?
1305
01:08:04,752 --> 01:08:06,955
I mean, don't get me wrong.
On one hand, sure.
1306
01:08:07,087 --> 01:08:09,389
Nice girl on the outside,
intelligent.
1307
01:08:09,624 --> 01:08:12,627
She's got a successful practice
doing therapy for broken people.
1308
01:08:12,827 --> 01:08:16,196
Got it. Other hand, ex-meth and
heroine addict?
1309
01:08:16,430 --> 01:08:17,765
Sure, recovered. Good for her.
1310
01:08:17,966 --> 01:08:19,166
Bonus points.
1311
01:08:19,734 --> 01:08:22,537
But let's not forget the random
hookups with the dark Buxom
hooker.
1312
01:08:22,704 --> 01:08:24,005
Are you crazy?
1313
01:08:24,739 --> 01:08:28,175
A woman that wants to have a
threesome, especially once a
month?
1314
01:08:28,308 --> 01:08:30,044
That's like seeing Sasquatch.
1315
01:08:30,310 --> 01:08:31,478
She's a unicorn.
1316
01:08:32,379 --> 01:08:34,281
That's like a fantasy.
1317
01:08:34,549 --> 01:08:36,951
Back when we were kids and I
wanted to be an astronaut.
1318
01:08:37,552 --> 01:08:40,989
But as an adult, every girl I've
spoken to that says you
1319
01:08:41,121 --> 01:08:43,858
bring another woman into the
relationship, and it destroys
it.
1320
01:08:43,992 --> 01:08:45,225
Think about it.
1321
01:08:45,793 --> 01:08:48,195
When you were a kid, three of
you got together to play,
1322
01:08:48,328 --> 01:08:51,398
one person always ended up being
left out and crying in a corner.
1323
01:08:51,599 --> 01:08:53,101
Maybe you, but not me.
1324
01:08:53,300 --> 01:08:54,802
I whooped both of those other
kid's ass.
1325
01:08:55,737 --> 01:08:57,404
It doesn't matter.
1326
01:08:57,538 --> 01:08:59,874
All I'm saying is that I'm tired
of all of these rules and then
the double
1327
01:09:00,008 --> 01:09:02,610
standards that throw the rules
out the window, like the
Wednesday
1328
01:09:02,744 --> 01:09:04,712
-rule and the three-date rule.
-Three dates my ass.
1329
01:09:04,846 --> 01:09:06,279
My philosophy is this.
1330
01:09:06,614 --> 01:09:08,415
If you love someone, let them
go.
1331
01:09:08,583 --> 01:09:13,788
If they come back, you let their
ass go again because nobody else
wanted them.
1332
01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:17,725
Dating, it's like a full-time
job, and there's this epidemic
of craziness
1333
01:09:17,959 --> 01:09:19,627
amongst the available single
people.
1334
01:09:19,961 --> 01:09:23,631
And I swear, with all the
dysfunction that I've been
seeing, I don't even want
1335
01:09:23,765 --> 01:09:25,432
to have sex with anybody ever
again.
1336
01:09:26,199 --> 01:09:29,469
I mean, okay, yes, I want to
have sex, but not until I get to
know them really well.
1337
01:09:29,604 --> 01:09:32,740
I'm going to start adding my own
three-date rule on top of their
three-date rule
1338
01:09:32,874 --> 01:09:35,409
until I know that they're not
going to turn into Freddy
Kruger.
1339
01:09:35,543 --> 01:09:40,548
Hey, after a 15-year marriage,
being with the woman who
withheld sex, you
1340
01:09:40,682 --> 01:09:42,449
can't be afraid to get back in
the saddle.
1341
01:09:42,850 --> 01:09:45,252
It's your duty to test those sex
waters.
1342
01:09:45,687 --> 01:09:47,922
If you don't, you're liable to
end up with another
1343
01:09:48,056 --> 01:09:50,091
Karen, and I know you don't want
that.
1344
01:09:50,858 --> 01:09:52,827
-Of course not.
-Then you need to get busy.
1345
01:09:56,396 --> 01:09:57,932
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
1346
01:09:58,465 --> 01:09:59,767
Don't worry, I'm not giving up
1347
01:09:59,901 --> 01:10:02,103
hope. I've got another date.
Pretty Christian girl.
1348
01:10:02,235 --> 01:10:03,503
Praise the Lord.
1349
01:10:15,917 --> 01:10:17,018
Maren?
1350
01:10:17,185 --> 01:10:18,619
Oh, hey. Jeff, right?
1351
01:10:18,753 --> 01:10:19,754
Yes.
1352
01:10:20,521 --> 01:10:22,123
Hi.
Can I have what she's having?
1353
01:10:22,355 --> 01:10:24,092
-Yes.
-And I will have one more.
1354
01:10:25,593 --> 01:10:27,862
Any food? The kitchen closes in
20 minutes?
1355
01:10:28,062 --> 01:10:30,263
I will have your grilled chicken
salad.
1356
01:10:31,532 --> 01:10:33,901
Sounds good for me, too.
1357
01:10:39,574 --> 01:10:43,410
So I want to know all about you.
1358
01:10:43,778 --> 01:10:45,713
You know, my dad is a Baptist
preacher.
1359
01:10:45,847 --> 01:10:49,050
My faith is very important to
me.
1360
01:10:50,118 --> 01:10:52,352
Well, I can only imagine.
What would you like to know?
1361
01:10:53,054 --> 01:10:54,254
Tell me about your faith.
1362
01:10:55,288 --> 01:10:59,227
Can you be more specific?
Do you believe in Jesus?
1363
01:11:00,260 --> 01:11:01,729
Food will be out shortly.
1364
01:11:02,295 --> 01:11:03,531
Thank you.
1365
01:11:05,432 --> 01:11:06,734
Come on, let's have it.
1366
01:11:06,868 --> 01:11:07,969
Tell me about your faith.
1367
01:11:08,936 --> 01:11:10,004
Okay.
1368
01:11:10,571 --> 01:11:12,372
Well, I was raised Catholic
by my grandmother,
1369
01:11:12,640 --> 01:11:16,844
and then I left the Catholic
Church when I was about 16 years
old.
1370
01:11:17,044 --> 01:11:19,080
My other grandparents,
they were Methodists,
1371
01:11:20,148 --> 01:11:25,787
so I had a pretty diverse
perspective on denominational
Christianity.
1372
01:11:27,287 --> 01:11:30,323
And I guess I'm totally
non-denominational.
1373
01:11:31,058 --> 01:11:32,894
But do you believe in Jesus?
1374
01:11:33,460 --> 01:11:37,231
Do you believe that he was the
Son of God?
1375
01:11:37,598 --> 01:11:40,067
Do you believe he died for our
sins?
1376
01:11:40,300 --> 01:11:46,207
Do you believe that his blood
redeemed us and saved us from
eternal damnation.
1377
01:11:46,808 --> 01:11:49,510
All right. Is there anything
else I can get you?
1378
01:11:53,014 --> 01:11:54,282
No, we're good.
1379
01:11:54,782 --> 01:11:56,651
I will have a glass of Pinot
Grigio.
1380
01:11:57,251 --> 01:11:58,286
Okay.
1381
01:12:00,788 --> 01:12:03,356
Are you sure you don't want
to eat something first?
1382
01:12:04,324 --> 01:12:06,294
Oh, no, I'm not hungry.
1383
01:12:06,426 --> 01:12:07,562
I'll just take it with me.
1384
01:12:08,162 --> 01:12:10,698
Then why'd you order it?
1385
01:12:12,465 --> 01:12:14,769
Sorry, can we actually box
both of these up to go?
1386
01:12:15,368 --> 01:12:17,370
Okay.
1387
01:12:20,340 --> 01:12:22,510
Do you normally get this
deep on all your first dates?
1388
01:12:23,110 --> 01:12:26,848
-Well, my faith is very
important to me.
-So you said.
1389
01:12:27,515 --> 01:12:31,484
So I want to know about you, and
I want to know about your faith.
1390
01:12:32,854 --> 01:12:34,487
I thought we covered all that.
1391
01:12:35,022 --> 01:12:36,489
Well, I want to hear it again.
1392
01:12:37,058 --> 01:12:41,529
You know, my faith is really
important to me if I date
someone.
1393
01:12:41,696 --> 01:12:43,130
You I made that very clear.
1394
01:12:44,899 --> 01:12:45,900
Here you go.
1395
01:12:46,634 --> 01:12:48,135
You guys have a good afternoon.
1396
01:12:50,071 --> 01:12:53,440
Here, that should be enough to
cover it and just keep the rest
as a tip.
1397
01:12:54,242 --> 01:12:55,910
Well, loved you in Midnight
Eyes.
1398
01:12:57,745 --> 01:12:59,347
Are you sure you're okay to
drive?
1399
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:00,948
I told you I'm fine.
1400
01:13:01,082 --> 01:13:02,683
I just lived down the street.
1401
01:13:03,217 --> 01:13:04,619
This is you?
1402
01:13:04,752 --> 01:13:05,853
Mm-hmm.
1403
01:13:18,199 --> 01:13:19,267
Okay, Maren.
1404
01:13:20,201 --> 01:13:21,434
I'm putting the food down here.
1405
01:13:21,569 --> 01:13:23,771
Make sure you bring it
inside when you get home.
1406
01:13:23,905 --> 01:13:25,472
Don't forget it. Drive safe.
1407
01:13:25,773 --> 01:13:27,308
Maybe text me when you get
there.
1408
01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:28,876
Wait, where are you going?
Get in.
1409
01:13:29,010 --> 01:13:30,111
I want to talk to you.
1410
01:13:31,545 --> 01:13:33,180
I need to get home to call my
kids.
1411
01:13:33,514 --> 01:13:34,447
Come on, please.
1412
01:13:34,582 --> 01:13:35,583
I want to talk.
1413
01:13:37,285 --> 01:13:39,419
Okay, just for a few minutes.
1414
01:13:51,265 --> 01:13:52,099
Come here.
1415
01:13:52,300 --> 01:13:54,735
I want to talk to you.
1416
01:13:57,405 --> 01:14:00,408
-I want you to tell me.
-Tell you what?
1417
01:14:00,541 --> 01:14:02,877
Tell me if you believe in Jesus.
1418
01:14:03,443 --> 01:14:04,845
I already told you in the
restaurant.
1419
01:14:04,979 --> 01:14:07,114
God, that makes me so hot.
1420
01:14:08,316 --> 01:14:10,184
Tell me again.
1421
01:14:10,318 --> 01:14:11,519
Tell me right now.
1422
01:14:11,652 --> 01:14:14,355
Do believe that he's the son of
God? Tell me yes.
1423
01:14:14,487 --> 01:14:15,488
-Yes.
-Yes.
1424
01:14:15,623 --> 01:14:17,024
Oh, touch me.
1425
01:14:17,158 --> 01:14:18,326
Kiss me.
1426
01:14:19,961 --> 01:14:21,862
Tell me you believe he died for
our sins?
1427
01:14:21,996 --> 01:14:23,597
Tell me you believe. I believe.
1428
01:14:23,798 --> 01:14:26,100
-Tell me you believe.
-I believe.
1429
01:14:26,233 --> 01:14:28,102
Oh, you believe you
died for our sins, yeah?
1430
01:14:28,235 --> 01:14:29,603
Yes, I believe.
1431
01:14:32,340 --> 01:14:33,541
Oh, my God. I want you.
1432
01:14:33,674 --> 01:14:35,710
I want you right here.
1433
01:14:35,843 --> 01:14:36,844
Let's move forward.
1434
01:14:36,978 --> 01:14:38,145
We don't even need to date.
1435
01:14:38,279 --> 01:14:40,314
We can just be exclusive.
Oh, my God.
1436
01:14:40,448 --> 01:14:41,949
-I'm so wet.
-Oh, wait.
1437
01:14:42,083 --> 01:14:43,217
Wait, wait. Hang on.
1438
01:14:43,351 --> 01:14:44,552
Hang on. Wait, wait.
1439
01:14:46,486 --> 01:14:47,655
Where are you going?
1440
01:14:49,790 --> 01:14:50,658
We just met.
1441
01:14:51,459 --> 01:14:53,828
I think we need to take
things a little more slowly.
1442
01:14:53,961 --> 01:14:56,364
I can't believe you're leaving
me.
1443
01:14:56,496 --> 01:14:57,999
I'm not leaving you.
1444
01:14:58,132 --> 01:15:01,635
I just need to get home and call
my kids.
1445
01:15:02,169 --> 01:15:04,872
You said you live close by,
right? So you're going to be
fine.
1446
01:15:06,207 --> 01:15:09,176
Just remember to text me
when you get back, please.
1447
01:15:13,681 --> 01:15:15,816
I said I want to move forward
with you.
1448
01:15:56,690 --> 01:15:58,392
Jeff.
1449
01:15:58,527 --> 01:15:59,660
Hi.
1450
01:16:00,761 --> 01:16:01,896
I'm Brigitte.
1451
01:16:02,396 --> 01:16:03,564
Nice to meet you.
1452
01:16:04,231 --> 01:16:05,266
You ready?
1453
01:16:05,666 --> 01:16:07,601
Sure.
Let me just finish this first.
1454
01:16:08,903 --> 01:16:10,204
Takes the edge off.
1455
01:16:11,238 --> 01:16:13,574
Yeah, Where's the edge?
Where's the edge?
1456
01:16:19,514 --> 01:16:21,215
Let's go.
1457
01:16:22,950 --> 01:16:25,286
There's a lake out back
where I just love to walk.
1458
01:16:26,253 --> 01:16:28,089
So You're an actor?
1459
01:16:28,756 --> 01:16:30,391
Well, I used to be. Not anymore.
1460
01:16:30,724 --> 01:16:31,792
Now I produce.
1461
01:16:32,226 --> 01:16:33,627
What about you? Do you work?
1462
01:16:34,395 --> 01:16:35,429
Of course I work.
1463
01:16:35,930 --> 01:16:38,032
I'm an entrepreneur.
I have my own company.
1464
01:16:38,732 --> 01:16:39,767
I sell dirt.
1465
01:16:40,267 --> 01:16:41,335
Dirt?
1466
01:16:41,536 --> 01:16:42,670
Hell, yeah.
1467
01:16:43,070 --> 01:16:45,773
It's a commodity just
like everything else.
1468
01:16:46,373 --> 01:16:49,276
I got eyes and ears all over
this town, so whenever there's a
free mound
1469
01:16:49,410 --> 01:16:51,045
of dirt somewhere, I know about
it.
1470
01:16:51,745 --> 01:16:53,747
Then I send Pedro
and Gilberto to go pick it up.
1471
01:16:53,881 --> 01:16:55,216
Then I broker it for sale.
1472
01:16:55,584 --> 01:16:58,119
It's almost all profit except
for my guy's day, right?
1473
01:16:59,554 --> 01:17:00,654
Do you like my lips?
1474
01:17:01,455 --> 01:17:03,457
Yeah, they look great.
1475
01:17:04,158 --> 01:17:08,629
My mama named me after Brigitte
Bardot, so whenever I get my
Botox, I get my lips
1476
01:17:08,762 --> 01:17:10,631
injected, so I look just like
her.
1477
01:17:10,898 --> 01:17:12,032
But you're naturally beautiful.
1478
01:17:12,166 --> 01:17:13,602
You don't need any of that.
1479
01:17:15,302 --> 01:17:18,205
Don't tell me what I need and
don't need.
1480
01:17:18,472 --> 01:17:22,643
I will get my Botox and my lips,
and ain't nobody going to tell
me not to.
1481
01:17:24,678 --> 01:17:26,914
Sorry, I meant it more as
a compliment, if anything.
1482
01:17:28,749 --> 01:17:30,151
Okay.
1483
01:17:30,351 --> 01:17:33,020
I just hate people telling me
what to do.
1484
01:17:33,854 --> 01:17:37,424
Hey, there's this guy I just
love playing at the piano bar
tonight.
1485
01:17:39,460 --> 01:17:40,595
Do you want to go?
1486
01:17:41,128 --> 01:17:42,229
Sure.
1487
01:17:42,663 --> 01:17:43,697
Yeah.
1488
01:17:46,100 --> 01:17:47,234
Don't be no wimp.
1489
01:17:47,368 --> 01:17:48,402
Get back in the saddle.
1490
01:17:48,669 --> 01:17:50,104
Oh, it's just a friend of mine.
1491
01:17:51,272 --> 01:17:53,174
-Everything okay?
-Yeah.
1492
01:17:53,307 --> 01:17:54,775
No, everything's fine.
1493
01:17:56,177 --> 01:17:59,246
He's just pushing me to do
what single people do.
1494
01:17:59,380 --> 01:18:00,515
That's all.
1495
01:18:01,448 --> 01:18:03,150
You mean have sex?
1496
01:18:05,052 --> 01:18:08,155
I will not have sex with any man
until I know he's the right one.
1497
01:18:09,290 --> 01:18:10,257
I can respect that.
1498
01:18:10,659 --> 01:18:12,594
I'm pretty much a monk myself
these days.
1499
01:18:12,726 --> 01:18:14,461
I just
prefer slightly older men who've
1500
01:18:14,663 --> 01:18:16,463
been through a divorce and
rebounded.
1501
01:18:17,398 --> 01:18:20,267
See, I want to have me a baby,
and I just want to find someone
1502
01:18:20,401 --> 01:18:23,572
that can provide us a certain
lifestyle. You know what they
say?
1503
01:18:25,472 --> 01:18:27,441
The right amount of money
can buy youth and beauty.
1504
01:18:28,175 --> 01:18:31,546
You just put it all out there,
don't you?
1505
01:18:32,980 --> 01:18:34,114
I admire that.
1506
01:18:36,884 --> 01:18:37,985
I'm sorry.
1507
01:18:38,886 --> 01:18:39,920
Open it.
1508
01:18:43,324 --> 01:18:46,393
I can't believe you didn't give in to me.
Come over.
1509
01:18:48,028 --> 01:18:49,598
Do not answer her.
1510
01:18:50,764 --> 01:18:51,765
Let's go.
1511
01:18:51,899 --> 01:18:53,100
Now.
1512
01:18:53,702 --> 01:18:55,869
-Where are we going?
-My house.
1513
01:19:00,941 --> 01:19:03,344
I am a rosé, girl.
1514
01:19:05,212 --> 01:19:06,514
Okay.
1515
01:19:06,715 --> 01:19:09,416
So you take care of me first,
then I'll take care of you.
1516
01:19:09,551 --> 01:19:11,018
Sound good?
1517
01:19:11,586 --> 01:19:14,755
You got to cast a little spell
on me to get me there, if you
know what I'm saying.
1518
01:19:15,289 --> 01:19:18,693
- So just see what I tell you.
- -Is this really happening?
1519
01:19:18,859 --> 01:19:19,860
Scoot over.
1520
01:19:23,598 --> 01:19:24,798
Okay.
1521
01:19:25,065 --> 01:19:26,467
Not what I told you.
1522
01:19:28,269 --> 01:19:29,403
Take this.
1523
01:19:30,771 --> 01:19:32,439
- I guess it's happening.
- Proceed.
1524
01:19:37,712 --> 01:19:38,779
No.
1525
01:19:40,447 --> 01:19:41,949
A little to the left.
1526
01:19:42,483 --> 01:19:44,985
No, stop, just give it to me.
1527
01:19:46,787 --> 01:19:49,490
Do not move.
1528
01:19:50,424 --> 01:19:52,326
Oh, yeah.
1529
01:19:52,459 --> 01:19:54,763
That's it.
1530
01:19:54,895 --> 01:19:57,097
-Now, bite my titty.
-What?
1531
01:19:57,231 --> 01:19:58,365
Bite my titty.
1532
01:19:59,266 --> 01:20:01,603
Not the right one, the left one.
It's more sensitive.
1533
01:20:02,637 --> 01:20:03,772
Oh, yeah.
1534
01:20:03,904 --> 01:20:06,641
Bite my titty. Harder.
1535
01:20:06,840 --> 01:20:07,875
Harder.
1536
01:20:08,142 --> 01:20:10,712
Harder. Bite my titty.
1537
01:20:11,412 --> 01:20:15,849
Do not move your hand from that
spot.
1538
01:20:17,117 --> 01:20:19,219
Oh, yeah.
1539
01:20:19,353 --> 01:20:21,188
Bite my titty. Harder.
1540
01:20:21,322 --> 01:20:23,023
Oh, my God.
1541
01:20:23,157 --> 01:20:24,458
Bite my titty.
1542
01:20:24,659 --> 01:20:28,095
Bite my fucking titty, harder.
1543
01:20:28,429 --> 01:20:31,198
Yes!
1544
01:20:39,507 --> 01:20:40,642
Your turn.
1545
01:20:44,845 --> 01:20:46,815
Let's try to make a baby.
1546
01:20:52,853 --> 01:20:54,522
Fuck you, Jeff Brock.
1547
01:20:54,723 --> 01:20:55,657
And fuck you.
1548
01:20:55,790 --> 01:20:56,857
God I want you so bad.
1549
01:20:56,990 --> 01:20:58,025
A really big clit.
1550
01:20:58,158 --> 01:20:59,293
Bite my titty!
1551
01:20:59,426 --> 01:21:01,161
-And I got a happy ending.
-You like?
1552
01:21:01,295 --> 01:21:02,764
You make me want you now.
1553
01:21:02,896 --> 01:21:04,164
So are we moving forward?
1554
01:21:04,298 --> 01:21:06,433
I said I want to move forward
with you.
1555
01:21:06,568 --> 01:21:08,168
I'm going to marry you.
1556
01:21:08,302 --> 01:21:10,070
Do you believe in Jesus?
1557
01:21:10,204 --> 01:21:13,742
Get back on this sofa
right now and you make me come.
1558
01:21:37,398 --> 01:21:40,100
- Hey, Maren.
- Is this Jeff?
1559
01:21:40,602 --> 01:21:42,236
Yeah, it is. Who's this?
1560
01:21:42,604 --> 01:21:43,872
This is Maren's father.
1561
01:21:44,004 --> 01:21:45,707
We found Maren's phone.
1562
01:21:46,273 --> 01:21:48,576
She's had the same password
since college.
1563
01:21:49,544 --> 01:21:51,478
We saw that you had
communicated with her.
1564
01:21:51,613 --> 01:21:53,447
-Did you see her?
-No, I didn't.
1565
01:21:53,581 --> 01:21:54,716
I wasn't able to.
1566
01:21:56,350 --> 01:21:58,085
I'm sorry to tell you
this.
1567
01:21:58,218 --> 01:21:59,486
Maren took her life last night.
1568
01:22:00,555 --> 01:22:04,324
It wasn't the first time she
tried, but she finally
succeeded.
1569
01:22:04,893 --> 01:22:06,960
Her mother and I thought you
should know.
1570
01:22:10,698 --> 01:22:13,902
What? I had just recently gotten
to know her.
1571
01:22:17,104 --> 01:22:19,039
Thank you for letting me know.
1572
01:22:20,274 --> 01:22:22,075
I'm sorry for your loss.
1573
01:22:51,606 --> 01:22:52,874
Maybe if I had gone to
see her,
1574
01:22:53,006 --> 01:22:54,609
she'd still be alive.
1575
01:22:55,275 --> 01:22:57,177
No, no, it's not your It's not
your fault.
1576
01:22:57,311 --> 01:22:58,847
It's not your fault.
1577
01:23:00,247 --> 01:23:02,149
She's not your responsibility.
1578
01:23:02,282 --> 01:23:03,984
I realize that. I do.
1579
01:23:05,486 --> 01:23:06,754
She had issues.
1580
01:23:08,288 --> 01:23:09,524
And I barely even knew her.
1581
01:23:11,659 --> 01:23:13,661
Why does everything
have to be so hard?
1582
01:23:14,461 --> 01:23:15,563
You said it
yourself.
1583
01:23:16,163 --> 01:23:18,298
She had issues that you
couldn't possibly know about.
1584
01:23:19,634 --> 01:23:21,134
How could you have helped her?
1585
01:23:21,970 --> 01:23:24,204
She would of coerced you into a
sexual act you didn't want.
1586
01:23:24,338 --> 01:23:26,240
It wouldn't have worked out.
1587
01:23:26,373 --> 01:23:27,775
And you would have left anyway.
1588
01:23:28,776 --> 01:23:30,545
Yeah, probably.
1589
01:23:31,278 --> 01:23:33,480
Everything would be
exactly as it was before.
1590
01:23:35,148 --> 01:23:36,283
You're right.
1591
01:23:36,518 --> 01:23:39,486
I just feel so guilty about it.
1592
01:23:41,789 --> 01:23:44,258
And then there's the whole
situation with Brigitte, too.
1593
01:23:44,458 --> 01:23:48,530
Brigitte, the dirt seller
who wanted a baby daddy.
1594
01:23:48,663 --> 01:23:49,764
A rich baby daddy.
1595
01:23:50,832 --> 01:23:53,535
Yeah, she called me a few weeks
later and told me she was
pregnant.
1596
01:23:54,134 --> 01:23:55,570
Oh.
1597
01:23:56,103 --> 01:24:00,542
I wondered why I didn't hear
from you for a while, How did
that news make you feel?
1598
01:24:00,675 --> 01:24:01,809
Pretty damn good.
1599
01:24:02,476 --> 01:24:05,178
Considering I had my side
of the street taken care of.
1600
01:24:06,413 --> 01:24:09,449
After Karen and I had our second
child, so I knew it wasn't mine.
1601
01:24:10,217 --> 01:24:11,686
But I will tell you something.
1602
01:24:13,253 --> 01:24:14,388
I'm done.
1603
01:24:16,658 --> 01:24:18,026
I'm good. No more dating for me.
1604
01:24:19,359 --> 01:24:20,562
No?
1605
01:24:20,828 --> 01:24:23,898
If someone wants to be with me,
I'm going to wait until they hit
1606
01:24:24,032 --> 01:24:25,432
me over the head with that
message.
1607
01:24:25,934 --> 01:24:27,200
- Really?
- Really.
1608
01:24:28,335 --> 01:24:29,871
No more chasing normal for me.
1609
01:24:30,905 --> 01:24:32,607
I'm not really sure there is
such a thing.
1610
01:24:33,440 --> 01:24:34,742
Fair enough.
1611
01:24:38,211 --> 01:24:40,048
Well, will I see you next week?
1612
01:24:40,782 --> 01:24:41,849
No.
1613
01:24:42,684 --> 01:24:43,851
I don't think so.
1614
01:24:45,053 --> 01:24:46,119
But thank you.
1615
01:24:46,921 --> 01:24:47,922
Good luck, Jeff.
1616
01:25:01,603 --> 01:25:02,837
Here, I got it.
1617
01:25:02,971 --> 01:25:04,438
Thank you.
1618
01:25:08,643 --> 01:25:09,877
Thank you.
1619
01:25:13,815 --> 01:25:14,949
Yeah.
1620
01:25:16,718 --> 01:25:17,752
Hey.
1621
01:25:18,620 --> 01:25:19,754
Yeah, I know.
1622
01:25:20,555 --> 01:25:21,723
I'm that guy.
1623
01:25:22,489 --> 01:25:24,993
I'm sorry. I was just going to
say I like your shirt.
1624
01:25:26,126 --> 01:25:27,629
It's a really cool pattern.
1625
01:25:28,630 --> 01:25:29,731
Oh, this?
1626
01:25:30,497 --> 01:25:33,133
- Yeah, that.
- Well, thank you.
1627
01:25:33,266 --> 01:25:36,037
My kids brought it back for me
for my birthday from Hawaii.
1628
01:25:36,236 --> 01:25:40,207
Oh, I love Hawaii,
especially the big island.
1629
01:25:41,075 --> 01:25:42,977
-Have you ever been there?
-Yeah.
1630
01:25:43,343 --> 01:25:45,178
-Well, the Kona side.
-Kona?
1631
01:25:45,780 --> 01:25:50,885
I chaperoned a group of
honor students to Kona just last
summer.
1632
01:25:51,085 --> 01:25:52,620
-Really?
-Yeah.
1633
01:25:54,254 --> 01:25:55,089
I'm Jeff.
1634
01:25:57,290 --> 01:25:59,694
Sarah. I just moved here.
1635
01:26:00,962 --> 01:26:01,996
Nice to meet you.
1636
01:26:03,097 --> 01:26:04,699
It's nice to meet you, too.
1637
01:26:07,535 --> 01:26:09,503
Do you want to grab a bite?
1638
01:26:13,340 --> 01:26:14,876
Yeah, I would.
1639
01:26:15,009 --> 01:26:15,943
I'd like to.
1640
01:26:16,644 --> 01:26:19,013
I'm just going to return
these books to Dr. Reader.
1641
01:26:36,363 --> 01:26:37,832
Ready?
1642
01:26:37,965 --> 01:26:39,167
Yeah.
1643
01:26:42,170 --> 01:26:43,370
So Kona, huh?
1644
01:26:43,838 --> 01:26:45,740
Yeah, I can't believe you were
just there.
1645
01:26:45,873 --> 01:26:47,108
I was.
1646
01:26:47,240 --> 01:26:48,275
100 dates?
1647
01:26:48,408 --> 01:26:50,011
It was probably more than that.
1648
01:26:50,144 --> 01:26:51,846
I just lost count.
1649
01:26:51,979 --> 01:26:55,016
Each date started with the hope
that it would be different than
1650
01:26:55,149 --> 01:26:56,249
the previous disappointment.
1651
01:26:57,018 --> 01:26:59,787
Because let's face it, you don't
want to throw in the towel
1652
01:26:59,921 --> 01:27:02,289
on the off chance that the
person you're destined to meet
is
1653
01:27:02,422 --> 01:27:03,591
right around the corner.
1654
01:27:06,160 --> 01:27:08,763
And then when you finally find
them,
1655
01:27:10,531 --> 01:27:11,999
it's all worth the wait.
1656
01:27:14,001 --> 01:27:15,103
That's great. Thank you, Jeff.
1657
01:27:15,235 --> 01:27:16,971
Great interview.
I appreciate you.
1658
01:27:17,105 --> 01:27:18,338
Anything else to add?
1659
01:27:22,510 --> 01:27:23,544
No.
1660
01:27:25,445 --> 01:27:26,614
I think I've said enough.
1661
01:27:27,280 --> 01:27:28,583
Okay.
1662
01:27:29,249 --> 01:27:30,585
All right. That's a cut.