1 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,051 I can't... 2 00:00:43,240 --> 00:00:45,129 It should be there. Hmm. 3 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,282 What? Oh. 4 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,846 Well... Well, this must be it. 5 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:01,931 Is there anything on my head? 6 00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:03,926 Uh... Well, yes. 7 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,480 - Describe it. - Well, you've sort of got antlers. 8 00:01:06,640 --> 00:01:08,210 - Antlers? - Yes. Antlers. 9 00:01:09,320 --> 00:01:10,731 - Antlers! - Mmm. 10 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,565 You are a time-space machine. 11 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:17,120 You're a vehicle. I have never asked you to cheer me up 12 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:19,567 with hologramatic antlers! 13 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:21,642 Thank you. 14 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:25,324 - Can I help you? - Yes, are you the surgeon? 15 00:01:25,400 --> 00:01:26,845 - Close enough. Why? - Well, you know. 16 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,161 - I don't know. - There's a medical emergency. 17 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,409 Will there be singing? 18 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:33,480 No. 19 00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:34,846 Fine, then. 20 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:36,803 We weren't sure where you'd come down. 21 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:38,769 - Sorry? - In your capsule. 22 00:01:38,840 --> 00:01:41,844 Oh, I'm never sure. I don't like being sure about things. 23 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:43,922 One minute you're sure, the next everybody turns into lizards 24 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:45,411 and a piano falls on you. 25 00:01:45,520 --> 00:01:48,171 - Piano? - It's been a long day. 26 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,488 Are you expecting a surgeon? 27 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,729 So what's the medical emergency? 28 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,325 Didn't you read the agreement? 29 00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,650 There it is. 30 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:02,926 - What? - There, that's it. 31 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:04,930 That's what? 32 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,490 Oh, the flying saucer. 33 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:09,281 Is that new? 34 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,406 Come on. 35 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:22,131 Well, you took your time. 36 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,566 Sorry, ma'am. 37 00:02:23,800 --> 00:02:26,121 This is him. This is the surgeon. 38 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,601 - Hello. - You don't look much like your pictures. 39 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,530 - Well, that's an ongoing problem for me. - Doesn't look very impressive, does he? 40 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,523 Nardole, what have you brought to my doorstep? 41 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,250 I've had a haircut. This is my best suit. 42 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,560 It's not even a suit. 43 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:40,647 - Do I know you? - You most certainly do not. 44 00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:43,405 And now that you've met me, 45 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,244 you'll do your very best to forget me. 46 00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:47,561 - River! - Oi! 47 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,449 Dr Song to you. 48 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,888 Sometimes Professor but mainly Doctor. 49 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:54,129 Don't use my name, ever! 50 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,521 How do you know me? 51 00:02:56,600 --> 00:02:58,045 Well, it's a tiny bit complicated. 52 00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,770 People usually need a flow chart. 53 00:02:59,840 --> 00:03:01,649 It doesn't matter. 54 00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:03,643 If either of you use my name again, 55 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,371 I will remove your organs in alphabetical order. 56 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,484 - Any questions? - Which alphabet? 57 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:12,082 Sorry, you really didn't want these questions, did you? 58 00:03:12,520 --> 00:03:14,568 This way. We don't have a lot of time. 59 00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:18,048 - What seems to be the problem? - My husband. 60 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:20,086 Your husband? 61 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,487 Didn't you read my message? My husband, yes. 62 00:03:22,640 --> 00:03:24,529 My husband is dying. 63 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,291 Something wrong? 64 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,323 I think I'm going to need a bigger flow chart. 65 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:22,728 Husband, I return to you. 66 00:04:23,720 --> 00:04:25,006 Where is my queen? 67 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:27,888 Never far from you, my love. 68 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,251 No, wait. 69 00:04:34,360 --> 00:04:36,567 - That's your husband? - Listen, 70 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,483 you are being watched by four billion people. 71 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,370 You are surrounded by warrior monks with sentient laser swords, 72 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,444 genetically engineered anger problems and not enough to do. 73 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,046 Best to stay still and keep your hands by your sides. 74 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,202 No, wait. 75 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:51,289 - That's your husband? - My husband, 76 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,647 your patient. King Hydroflax. 77 00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,247 Yes. That's who you're married to? Not... 78 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,209 - anybody else? - My love. 79 00:04:58,480 --> 00:04:59,970 Attend me, woman. 80 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,405 I fly to you. 81 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:03,962 - Is there a problem? - Right, so you don't recognise me, then? 82 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,371 Why would I recognise you? 83 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,566 Oh, no reason. 84 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,291 I don't like him. You like him? 85 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:14,086 Don't cross your arms. 86 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:16,811 He's a lying-down person. I don't like lying-down people. 87 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:18,006 It's so untidy. 88 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,287 Keep your arms by your side, like she said. 89 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,089 My one true love, 90 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,171 the only husband I will ever have. 91 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:28,130 My time with you has been too short. 92 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,329 You have given me days of adventure 93 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:35,004 - and many nights of passion. - Oh... 94 00:05:35,520 --> 00:05:36,681 Why do you keep crossing them? 95 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,046 Because they're cross. I've got cross arms. 96 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:39,326 The end is near. 97 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:40,761 I feel it. 98 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:42,365 Oh, forgive me, my lord. 99 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:44,682 I have acted against your instructions. 100 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:45,807 MY love? 101 00:05:45,880 --> 00:05:47,291 If you die this day, 102 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:50,523 this galaxy will drown in tears. 103 00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:53,361 Look at them. Your people. 104 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:56,171 They watch and hope and pray. 105 00:05:56,560 --> 00:05:59,325 With so much at stake, I followed my heart. 106 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:01,482 I disobeyed your orders 107 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:07,968 and sent for the finest surgeon in the galaxy! 108 00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:28,364 This might be an alarming question in the circumstance 109 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:31,326 but you really do think I'm a surgeon, don't you? 110 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:33,926 Oh... 111 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,042 Okay, calm down. Keep it together. 112 00:06:36,120 --> 00:06:37,167 Don't make puddles. 113 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:38,401 Surgeon. 114 00:06:38,840 --> 00:06:40,968 Attend your patient. 115 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,924 Any tiny hint of what species he might be? 116 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,126 I don't know. 117 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,004 Okay, never mind, you just stay there. 118 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,522 You're probably going to need a mop. 119 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:00,646 Bow. 120 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:01,846 Sorry, what? 121 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:04,491 You are in the presence of His Infinite Majesty, 122 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,289 King Hydroflax. You will bow. 123 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,442 Oh, no, I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I can't do that. 124 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:09,846 You what? 125 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,081 - It's my back. - Your back? 126 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:12,764 Yeah, my back's playing up. 127 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,406 It simply refuses to carry the weight 128 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,960 of an entirely pointless stratum of society 129 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:20,407 who contribute nothing of worth to the world 130 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,324 and crush the hopes and dreams of working people. 131 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,687 Can you save me, surgeon? 132 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:32,131 Well, that depends upon what's wrong with you. 133 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,561 - There's something in his brain. - You could have fooled me. 134 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,048 Oh, oh, sorry. 135 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,961 Sorry. Just gallows humour. 136 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,203 - Probably the wrong word. - Yeah, I would say it is. 137 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:46,601 My love, you must rest. 138 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,763 The surgeon and I will discuss the procedure. 139 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:53,243 Prepare, master of my life, 140 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,729 to live anew. 141 00:07:57,400 --> 00:07:59,209 Patience be with you all! 142 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,608 Our king will rise again. 143 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:05,411 Our king will rise again! 144 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,330 Our king will rise again! 145 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,086 Hydroflax! Hydroflax! 146 00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,481 All right, enough of this. joke's over. 147 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:17,846 - What joke? - Look at me. 148 00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,046 Why? 149 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,009 - I'm the Doctor. - You'd better be. 150 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,889 You've got an operation to perform. 151 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:29,201 Here's the entry wound, just below the hairline, and... 152 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:31,810 there's the projectile. 153 00:08:32,320 --> 00:08:34,368 Should've killed him straight off but he's very strong. 154 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:35,846 That's not a bullet. 155 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,160 It's a diamond. 156 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,562 - How'd it get in there? - At speed. 157 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:41,923 Do you recognise it? 158 00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:45,090 - No! - Yes. 159 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,362 - The Halassi Androvar? - The very same. 160 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:49,768 Hydroflax was leading the raid on the Halassi vaults. 161 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:52,724 In the ensuing firefight, the whole thing blew up in his face, 162 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:56,964 with the result that he now has the most valuable diamond in the universe 163 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,604 lodged three inches inside his enormous head. 164 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,129 So, 165 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,960 - can you remove it? - It's very small. 166 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,970 Might be difficult to manoeuvre it. 167 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,804 Not the diamond. 168 00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,126 His head. 169 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,083 - His head? - Yes. 170 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,966 I think it would be easier just to remove the whole thing, don't you? 171 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:21,929 - But wouldn't that kill him? - Well, you're the medical expert, 172 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,764 but I'd say so, yes. 173 00:09:23,840 --> 00:09:25,046 - Your husband? - Sort of. 174 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,168 - "Sort of"? - I basically married the diamond. 175 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,009 The Halassi want their diamond back, 176 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,003 - so they came to me. - Why? 177 00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,491 I'm an archaeologist. 178 00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:35,005 Slash murderer, slash thief. 179 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:38,880 An archaeologist is just a thief, with patience. 180 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:41,486 Never had much of that. It'll fit in here, don't you think? 181 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,051 I've checked it for leaks. 182 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:44,526 Is this what you're like when I'm not... 183 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,840 Not what? 184 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,361 - You're talking about murdering someone. - No, I'm not. 185 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:49,965 I'm actually murdering someone. 186 00:09:50,440 --> 00:09:51,930 Cheer up, get a saw. 187 00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,168 I'll kill the lights, you kill the patient. 188 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,325 I employed you. You agreed to this. 189 00:09:57,400 --> 00:10:00,961 Do you not know who that man is? 190 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,170 King Hydroflax, the Butcher of the Bone Meadows, 191 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:07,290 who ends his battles by eating his enemies, 192 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:08,441 dead or alive! 193 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:09,567 The murder of a creature like that 194 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,244 wouldn't weigh very heavily on my conscience, 195 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:12,401 even if I had one. 196 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,370 What's that face? 197 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:18,082 Are you thinking? 198 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,840 Stop it! You're a man. It looks weird. 199 00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:22,200 I need more information. 200 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,210 - For what? - For my diagnosis. 201 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,727 He's dying, we're about to steal his head and scoop out his brains. 202 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,006 Aren't we over-thinking? 203 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:32,050 I'll be the judge of that. I'm the Doctor. 204 00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,769 You know who you remind me of? 205 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:36,928 Yes. Probably a chap with a big... 206 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,645 My second wife. 207 00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,849 Darling! 208 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:54,731 You're up and about! 209 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,280 - False wife. - How much better you're looking. 210 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:58,641 You planned to take my head. 211 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:00,080 Never crossed my mind. 212 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,243 - Is this your bag? - Perhaps you should've just asked. 213 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,286 Well... 214 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,410 I wondered why we didn't share a bathroom. 215 00:11:24,560 --> 00:11:26,130 You married a cyborg and didn't even know? 216 00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:29,249 I will have you flogged and flayed and burned. 217 00:11:29,320 --> 00:11:33,041 I will crush every last remnant of you from this universe. 218 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,128 How dare you? I'm your wife! 219 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,846 - You planned to murder me! - Don't change the subject. 220 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,571 Why are you doing this? Who are you? 221 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,240 I'm Professor River Song. 222 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:45,250 You have an ancient artefact of great value to good people 223 00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:48,085 and whatever it takes, I'm going to bring it home to them. 224 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:52,081 You have stolen so much from so many, King Hydroflax, 225 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:55,050 and I'm the woman who's going to steal it all back! 226 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:58,250 - What are you? - I'm an archaeologist. 227 00:11:58,360 --> 00:12:00,567 Look, I've got a trowel. 228 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:06,971 Do not harm her! 229 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:10,090 If you know what's good for you, do not lay a finger on that woman. 230 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:11,930 Ignore him! Attack! 231 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:17,644 Garbage disposal, right? 232 00:12:17,720 --> 00:12:19,051 Get ready to say "Whee!" 233 00:12:19,120 --> 00:12:20,281 Put me down! 234 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:21,771 Back off from River Song. 235 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:24,684 Give the order now. Get yourself under control. 236 00:12:25,240 --> 00:12:26,924 Do not attack the female. 237 00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:31,768 Nobody move or the head gets it! 238 00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:33,649 - Do you really have a shooty trowel? - It's sonic. 239 00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:35,802 A sonic trowel. Do you realise how ridiculous that sounds? 240 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,929 - The threats are empty. Destroy them! - Negative. 241 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,401 78% chance of significant tissue damage. 242 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:42,970 Do as you're told! 243 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:45,964 Decision overruled. Recommendation, chill. 244 00:12:46,040 --> 00:12:47,405 Look at that, your body's got a mind of its own. 245 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:49,881 More like an on board computer for the cybernetic component. 246 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,367 Plus inbuilt flash drive and vernacular-friendly interface. 247 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,488 - Cyber co-pilot. - Mobile life support. 248 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,289 - Sexy. - It's not sexy. 249 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,601 - It's a little bit sexy. - Why is everything sexy now? 250 00:12:58,680 --> 00:12:59,966 Speaking of which... 251 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:02,441 Ramone, prep for emergency extraction. Two to go. 252 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,682 - Standing by for teleport. - Put it in the bag. 253 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,730 - I'm sorry? - The head. Put it in the bag. 254 00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,290 Do not put me in the bag! 255 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:10,807 Quickly, do it! Ramone, 20 seconds to jump. 256 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:12,803 I will not be placed into a bag! 257 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,008 Stop shouting a minute if you want to go face-up. 258 00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:17,401 You will be crushed! You will be destroyed! 259 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,041 - You will beg my infinite mercy! - Oh, zip it. 260 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,801 Try to follow me and I'll put him in a blender. 261 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,086 Ramone, now! 262 00:13:28,320 --> 00:13:30,800 They will be tracked. They will be found. 263 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,122 Ramone! Just once can you get the height right? 264 00:13:44,200 --> 00:13:46,168 - Sorry, Professor. - When I escape, I will bring 265 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:48,242 - terror to you and your family! - Home in on my signal. 266 00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,402 - Have you located Damsel? - I'm on it. 267 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,164 The capsule is really close. 268 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,608 Is something funny? 269 00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,286 Who dares laugh at Hydroflax? 270 00:13:57,360 --> 00:14:00,091 You shall be crushed! You shall scream in fear! 271 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,805 Let me out of this bag! 272 00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:03,644 This is a serious mission in a critical phase. 273 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,888 There is nothing to laugh about here. 274 00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:07,530 We're being threatened by a bag! 275 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:09,967 Bya head in a bag! 276 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:13,965 I shall make dust of you. My enemies are meat for the devouring. 277 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,169 I can't approve of any of this, you know, 278 00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,846 but I haven't laughed in a long time. 279 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:23,127 - Well, good for you. - Prepare to die in agony 280 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:25,567 and submit to my supremacy. 281 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:27,290 Unzip this bag! 282 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:33,126 You know, don't you? 283 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:35,009 - Know what? - Stop pretending. 284 00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,320 You know who I am. 285 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,651 - Who are you? - You know who I am. It's, it's, 286 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,450 - it's me! - Great! 287 00:14:42,920 --> 00:14:44,729 Who are you? 288 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:46,690 Professor Song! 289 00:14:48,840 --> 00:14:50,683 Sorry, Professor. Sorry about the height thing. 290 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:51,966 Prove it. 291 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:01,770 Doesn't it get dull after a while? 292 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,006 As an activity, it's not hugely varied, is it? 293 00:15:05,880 --> 00:15:07,484 I'm so sorry. 294 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,526 This is my husband Ramone. 295 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:11,681 Another one? 296 00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:13,808 - Are you going to kill him, too? - We're not actually married. 297 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,685 We are, in fact. I wiped it from your memory. 298 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,325 - Why? - Well, you were being annoying. 299 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:20,483 So the Damsel. Do we have a fix? 300 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,403 Found the capsule just over in the village 301 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,845 but I can't locate Damsel. 302 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,411 - I've looked everywhere. - Who's Damsel? 303 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,051 Have you been thorough? It's not easy, you know, he does have 12 faces. 304 00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:29,929 None of these men are here. 305 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,651 Are you sure it's one of these? 306 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,768 Yes, he only has these 12 faces. 307 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:35,645 He'll be around here somewhere. 308 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,651 This is the closest intersection with the Doctor's timeline. 309 00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:40,802 That's why I crashed Hydroflax's ship here. 310 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:44,202 - "Damsel"! - Code name Damsel in Distress. 311 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,409 Apparently, he needs a lot of rescuing. 312 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:50,007 What if he has a face that you don't know about yet? 313 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:51,764 He has limits. 314 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,089 Well, then. Let's go find him. 315 00:15:56,640 --> 00:15:59,086 You are in league with the former queen? 316 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:02,364 She employed me. I didn't really know anything. 317 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:05,245 - You have information. - Oh, hardly anything, really. 318 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:06,641 A tiny bit. 319 00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:08,370 You will give this information to us. 320 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,647 Oh, absolutely. Of course I will. 321 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,210 We will take the information. 322 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,727 Ask anything you like. I'll even write it down for you. 323 00:16:15,840 --> 00:16:17,126 That will not be necessary. 324 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:18,366 You will be uploaded. 325 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,729 We apologise for the inconvenience. 326 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,120 Uploaded? 327 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,123 - How? - Recommendation, 328 00:16:26,240 --> 00:16:27,730 hold still. 329 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:35,123 No, this is no good. 330 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:38,244 - I don't like this. - Your cooperation is appreciated. 331 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,765 I never agreed! 332 00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:41,804 No, this is unfair. 333 00:16:42,280 --> 00:16:44,203 Pursuit now commences. 334 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:46,084 This is too tall! 335 00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:47,764 I'm afraid of heights! 336 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,681 Recommendation, close your eyes. 337 00:17:00,080 --> 00:17:01,491 What if we can't find him? 338 00:17:01,560 --> 00:17:03,289 We need to get you off-world now. 339 00:17:03,360 --> 00:17:05,010 "Off-world"? People never say that. 340 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,320 Are you new? 341 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,289 We can't hang around waiting. He could be ages. 342 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:10,408 Yes, he's probably off rebuilding a civilisation 343 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:12,482 or defeating giant robot fish... 344 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,925 - We'll just have to steal it. - Battling insects 345 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,365 from the ninth dimension. I'm sorry, what? 346 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,410 The Hopper is really close. We'd be out of here in less than ten minutes. 347 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:21,131 I need time travel. I need this Tardis! 348 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,089 I'm sorry, the word "steal". Somebody said "steal". 349 00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,403 Yes, we are going to steal this box. 350 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,170 Hush, you wouldn't understand. 351 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,481 - You can't. - Why can't I? 352 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:32,767 - You can't just steal a Tar... A box! - Why not? 353 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:36,131 - Look, it says "Police". - I have a key. 354 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:37,607 Okay. 355 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:42,402 This Damsel person, he sounds... He sounds pretty dangerous. Ish. 356 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,966 It's a time machine. 357 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:47,926 I can take it, do whatever I want for as long as I like 358 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,126 and pop it back a second later. 359 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,804 - He'll never know it was gone. - Yes, he will. 360 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:51,927 How? 361 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,203 - He'll just know. - Well, he's never noticed before. 362 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,564 Maybe he'll notice now. 363 00:18:00,560 --> 00:18:04,281 I'll see you on Temple Beach. 364 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,802 I've already picked out your swimwear. 365 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,081 Okay, but be careful. 366 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,929 Absolutely not. 367 00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:13,806 You, with me. 368 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,200 Bring the head. 369 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:18,005 Please, look after her for me. 370 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:23,607 Oh. 371 00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:26,286 Before you come in, you'd better prepare yourself for a shock. 372 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,810 It's not as snug as it looks. 373 00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,606 Finally. 374 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,051 Finally? 375 00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:41,641 It's my go. 376 00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:48,883 Oh... my... God! 377 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,243 It's bigger... 378 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,364 - Uh, yes. - ...on the inside... 379 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:54,800 - Look, we need to concentrate. - ...than it is... 380 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,406 I know where you're going with this but I need you to calm down. 381 00:18:57,480 --> 00:18:58,720 ...on the outside? 382 00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,331 Well, you've certainly grasped the essentials. 383 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:03,324 My entire understanding of physical space 384 00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:04,890 has been transformed! 385 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:08,322 Three-dimensional Euclidean geometry has been torn up, 386 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:10,966 thrown in the air and snogged to death! 387 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,249 My grasp of the universal constants 388 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:18,120 of physical reality has been changed 389 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,326 forever. 390 00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:26,369 Sorry. I've always wanted to see that done properly. 391 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,647 Would you like a drink? 392 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,246 Aldeba ran brandy. 393 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,124 Help yourself. Don't tell Dad. 394 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,202 What's that noise? 395 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:37,767 It seems to have powered down. Conserving batteries. 396 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:39,690 There's an inbuilt life-support system, 397 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,968 - I'm not sure what powers it but... - Really don't care. 398 00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:43,690 - What's that noise? - I don't know. 399 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:45,250 Signal? Distress call? 400 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:46,606 - Homing beacon. - Possibly. 401 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:47,727 So the rest of him is coming. 402 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:49,450 Well, he must be very cross. He's lost his head. 403 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,364 Time we were off, then. 404 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:58,410 You're doing it wrong. 405 00:19:58,640 --> 00:20:00,404 I am certainly not. 406 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:03,690 Not those levers. 407 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,206 Hush. 408 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:08,889 You probably want to press that button. 409 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,884 Why? That evacuates the waste tank on deck seven. 410 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,601 - Does it? - What is wrong with you? 411 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:15,966 Better avoid deck seven, then. 412 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,451 Something's interfering with the engines, 413 00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:19,602 which is technically not possible. 414 00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,762 - Maybe. - How would you know? 415 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,562 Maybe the engines are interfering with themselves. 416 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,331 Wild theory, but what if this machine had certain safeguards? 417 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,562 For instance, maybe it can't take off 418 00:20:29,640 --> 00:20:33,531 when a life form registers as being both inside and outside at the same time. 419 00:20:34,160 --> 00:20:35,366 Head and body. 420 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,049 Which would mean, and again, 421 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,885 I'm just wildly theorising here, 422 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:44,129 that the door would not engage properly. 423 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,600 Of course. 424 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,603 It can't seal the real time envelope. 425 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,531 Hence, it can't take off. 426 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,208 Not when someone is in and out at the same time. 427 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,482 I mean, that just wouldn't be good manners, would it? 428 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,289 You're very quick. 429 00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:01,170 Yes. For a doctor. 430 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:03,085 Yes. 431 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:05,726 Seriously? 432 00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:12,051 Hello! 433 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,248 Hello. Is that you? 434 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:16,885 Nardole, is that you? 435 00:21:16,960 --> 00:21:18,246 It's me, yes. 436 00:21:18,960 --> 00:21:20,291 Please. 437 00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,209 - You've got to help me. - What's wrong? 438 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:23,811 Where are you? 439 00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:25,771 In the alleyway. 440 00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:27,321 Can't you see me? 441 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,765 Come a bit closer. 442 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:29,961 What are you doing there? 443 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:31,570 Help me! 444 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,731 - Are you injured? - Well, uh... 445 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:36,410 Yes. 446 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:42,048 Sorry! So sorry! 447 00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:44,044 - It made me. - Nardole. 448 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,408 Why are you pointing a gun at your own head? 449 00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:47,641 It's not my head. 450 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,200 Well, it is my head. 451 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,327 But it's not my gun. 452 00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,010 - What happened to you? - Please. 453 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,923 Just do as it says. 454 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:59,288 It's signalling. We have to assume the body is homing in on this. 455 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:00,726 - So how do we stop it? - Well, 456 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:03,724 - we could chop its head off. Oh, look. - Does sarcasm help? 457 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,245 Wouldn't it be a great universe if it did? 458 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:09,001 So summing it up, it's coming, we can't take off, we can't seal the doors. 459 00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:10,445 - Yep. - So... 460 00:22:11,240 --> 00:22:12,730 We just kill the head, right? 461 00:22:12,800 --> 00:22:14,882 - You can't shoot the head in the face! - Why not? 462 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,281 Go on, then. 463 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:20,721 Tell him to put his hands up. 464 00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,768 Do not fire if you value your lives. 465 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,841 Why? What are you going to do? 466 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,685 Kill me and my body will burn. 467 00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:30,043 - Burn what? - This world! 468 00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:33,806 Enquiry. Are you acquainted with the criminal River Song? 469 00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:35,370 That wasn't me. That was him. 470 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,809 Repeat. Are you acquainted with the criminal River Song? 471 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,649 Please. just answer it. 472 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,487 Yes. 473 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,047 You will take River Song a message. 474 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:47,570 What message? 475 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,529 Suppose we believe you. How? 476 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,365 My body contains a split quantum actualiser. 477 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:54,921 A perpetually stabilised black hole. That's your power source? 478 00:22:55,080 --> 00:22:56,286 What sort of medical school did you go to? 479 00:22:56,360 --> 00:22:58,761 - A really good one for Doctors. - More than a power source. 480 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,524 If necessary, a bomb. 481 00:23:00,600 --> 00:23:02,170 So you could wipe out this solar system? 482 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,288 - It wouldn't be the first. - It would be your last. 483 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,408 A fitting end for the glory of Hydroflax. 484 00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:07,925 So why haven't you threatened this before? 485 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:10,526 A king does not endanger his people for no reason. 486 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,846 You're endangering them now. 487 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:13,365 I'm cross. 488 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:14,930 Dr Song, are you there? 489 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:18,522 - I have a message for you. - Ramone! Get in here! 490 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,605 You're going to die! 491 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,525 - Kill her! - No! 492 00:23:31,600 --> 00:23:33,489 - Put her down! - Kill her now! 493 00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:35,921 - Deaz'h initiating. - I'm so sorry. 494 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,444 I'm sorry! No! 495 00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,284 Stop them! Stop them! 496 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,284 - Where are we going? - Get the head! 497 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:51,165 - No! - Stop them! 498 00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:52,287 Death initiating. 499 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:56,090 - You set the coordinates. Where for? - just get the damn head! 500 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:59,809 Kill them! Destroy them! 501 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,522 - Here! - Kill them! 502 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:08,371 With me! 503 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:10,486 Where are we? 504 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,324 - This way, come on. - What about the box? 505 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:13,970 Where are we going? Stop holding my hand. 506 00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:15,883 - People don't do that to me. - Hush now! 507 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,883 And don't hush me. I am not a hushing person. 508 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,801 We are currently cruising at warp factor 72, 509 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,240 traversing the fourth galaxy of our se van-galaxy cruise. 510 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,844 Next is the Andromeda Galaxy. 511 00:24:50,840 --> 00:24:54,003 Supernova approaching now to starboard. 512 00:24:57,640 --> 00:24:59,483 Ah, Dr Song! 513 00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:01,364 Your table is ready. 514 00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:02,805 Flemming! 515 00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,201 How are the twins? 516 00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:06,602 Still digesting their mother, thank you for asking. 517 00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:08,331 I'm sure it was a lovely ceremony. 518 00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,811 Oh, there were tears. 519 00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:11,570 And just a hint of screaming. 520 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:16,046 Uh, Flemming, I wonder, 521 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,323 could you deadlock seal the baggage hold for me? 522 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:22,923 It's a little irregular. The other passengers might want access. 523 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,526 Do you remember that time I was transporting dragon eggs? 524 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,211 Consider it done. 525 00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:33,931 - Is the gentleman here for dinner? - Yes, he is. 526 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,571 Excellent. I'll have the chef prepare him immediately. 527 00:25:36,640 --> 00:25:37,687 No, you won't. 528 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,281 Uh, he will, in fact, be joining me to eat. 529 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:43,683 I was about to suggest that force-feeding might be required. 530 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:47,083 This way. Oh, may I take your bag? 531 00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:49,049 Oh, no, no, no. That's fine, thanks. 532 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:53,721 Sorry. 533 00:25:53,920 --> 00:25:55,206 That was my stomach. 534 00:25:58,120 --> 00:25:59,645 I have an irritable bowel. 535 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:01,563 My revenge will be merciless. 536 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,483 I will rip you open and devour you. 537 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:04,846 It's having a day. 538 00:26:04,920 --> 00:26:06,490 You cannot escape! 539 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:09,481 This way. 540 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,688 Your actions will not go unpunished. 541 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:13,930 - Here. - Ow! 542 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:15,963 I don't suppose you mind if I freshen up? 543 00:26:18,560 --> 00:26:20,130 Not bad for 200, eh? 544 00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,085 - 200? - I have an augmented lifespan. 545 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:26,049 - Long story. - So what's the occasion? 546 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,971 Ah, I've got the diamond. Now it's time to sell it. 547 00:26:29,040 --> 00:26:30,690 I thought you were returning it to the Halassi? 548 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:33,843 Tell me. Were you born boring or did you have to work at it? 549 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,565 Where did you find a buyer? 550 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,130 Look around you. 551 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,569 The Starship Harmony And Redemption. 552 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,768 Minimum ticket price one billion credits 553 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:44,411 plus the provable murder of multiple innocent life forms. 554 00:26:44,800 --> 00:26:47,371 Suites are reserved for planet-burners. 555 00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:48,686 Thank you. 556 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,604 Even the staff are required to have 557 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,490 a verifiable history of indiscriminate slaughter. 558 00:26:53,840 --> 00:26:56,810 This is where genocide comes to kick back and relax. 559 00:26:57,920 --> 00:26:59,046 Do try the fish. 560 00:27:06,920 --> 00:27:09,890 Mr Flemming. There's an issue. 561 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:22,131 Why are you frowning? 562 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:26,447 - How did you know? - It's audible. 563 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:28,883 Deadlock seals can be broken. 564 00:27:29,360 --> 00:27:30,691 By geniuses. 565 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,527 Hydroflax has a brain the size of a pea and it's currently under the table. 566 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:37,241 He's gone back to sleep, I think. 567 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:38,367 You married him, though. 568 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:39,885 I told you. I married the diamond. 569 00:27:40,120 --> 00:27:42,202 - How? - I posed as his nurse. 570 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:44,169 - Took me a week. - To fall in love? 571 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:47,484 It's the easiest lie you can tell a man. 572 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,763 They'll automatically believe any story they're the hero of. 573 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:57,771 River, there's, uh... 574 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:01,367 There's something I should probably tell you. 575 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:02,521 Dr Song, 576 00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,326 your guest has docked. 577 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:05,965 He should be with you in a very few minutes. 578 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:07,849 Thank you. Whenever he's ready. 579 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:08,921 Of course. 580 00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:10,641 What's the book? 581 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:13,329 Oh, it's my diary. 582 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,883 One should always have something sensational 583 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:17,684 to read on a spaceship. 584 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:18,761 Is it sad? 585 00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,085 Why would a diary be sad? 586 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,446 I don't know. It's just that 587 00:28:25,560 --> 00:28:26,721 you look sad. 588 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:32,161 It's nearly full. 589 00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,001 So? 590 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:38,565 The man who gave me this 591 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,368 was the sort of man who'd know exactly how long a diary 592 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:44,244 you were going to need. 593 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:51,770 He sounds awful. 594 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:54,411 I suppose he is. I've never really thought about it. 595 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,048 Not somebody special, then? 596 00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,806 No. 597 00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:05,807 But terribly useful every now and then. 598 00:29:10,360 --> 00:29:12,727 Please, [just need you to get me out of here. 599 00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:15,321 He's in the main hold, sir. But you've deadlocked it. 600 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:17,130 If you don't mind my observing, sir, 601 00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,931 you do seem a little nervous. Is someone threatening you? 602 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:23,363 - I'm the only one here. - Confirmed, sir. 603 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:24,931 There's only one reading in the hold. 604 00:29:25,760 --> 00:29:27,569 - I'm on my way. - Be careful, sir. 605 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,446 Don't worry. I'll just stick my head round the door. 606 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,250 So who is this buyer? 607 00:29:34,680 --> 00:29:37,081 No idea. He just responded to the advert. 608 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:43,920 Which of you is Song? 609 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:45,770 Who wants to know? 610 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:48,207 - I am Scratch. - Don't need your name. 611 00:29:48,280 --> 00:29:49,645 Are you empowered to purchase? 612 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:52,121 I represent the shoal of the Winter Harmony. 613 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:53,440 Don't care, don't want to know. 614 00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:55,329 I'll need immediate payment. Can you do that? 615 00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:59,047 And you could either just sit down or fetch us the wine list or something? 616 00:30:04,640 --> 00:30:05,721 You have the diamond? 617 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:08,121 Of course I have the diamond. Show me the money. 618 00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:28,211 Just a thought, you probably shouldn't do that in a restaurant. 619 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:45,205 Once instructed, 620 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,643 this will transfer the necessary funds to whatever account you choose. 621 00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:49,721 Thank you. 622 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:51,521 The diamond. 623 00:30:51,840 --> 00:30:53,285 You're going to have to dig for it a bit, 624 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:56,364 but somehow I don't think that's going to be a problem for you. 625 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:58,244 - Is this a deception? - No. 626 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:00,091 The diamond is in there. 627 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:02,288 This is a public place, there won't be any tricks. 628 00:31:02,440 --> 00:31:04,761 This is not a public place. 629 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:14,646 Block-booking. That's clever. 630 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,848 You needn't have bothered. I've brought what you want. 631 00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,487 Please do assume that I have also taken precautions 632 00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:22,166 and don't do anything that might make me cross and kill you. 633 00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,727 Statement accepted. 634 00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,370 The diamond is here. 635 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:30,606 The payment, then. 636 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,408 One hundred billion credits. 637 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:38,691 As we agreed. This accesses all the banks in the galaxy. 638 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:39,966 Thank you. 639 00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,124 Here you go, then. You may need to use a spoon 640 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:46,044 - or knitting needle or something... - Be it known, 641 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,044 we do not do this for ourselves. 642 00:31:48,120 --> 00:31:50,600 - I really don't care. - We do it in honour 643 00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,728 of our distant and loving king, 644 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:56,204 who once visited our world in blood and joy. 645 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,482 - Well, isn't that lovely. - We honour thee. 646 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,241 We prostrate ourselves in your name, 647 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:04,331 - Hyd roflax. - Hyd roflax. 648 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:07,450 For love of thee, we do this thing today. 649 00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,361 Hydroflax. 650 00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,447 Give it. 651 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,291 Give us the treasure. 652 00:32:23,320 --> 00:32:25,129 What is wrong? 653 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:27,130 Uh, well, uh... 654 00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:28,726 Awkward. 655 00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:32,451 I beg of you. 656 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:34,807 - Not my head. - Information is required. 657 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:36,928 You know of River Song, wife of Hydroflax? 658 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,564 I... I do. 659 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,722 I know River Song of old. 660 00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:44,804 And if you spare me, 661 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,882 I'll tell you who she's really married to. 662 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,088 - Explain. - You need a head. 663 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:52,884 I can get you a head fit for a king. 664 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,244 Why do you delay? We have paid. We will receive. 665 00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:58,965 Yes, you will. 666 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:02,362 By jingle, you will. Yes, of course. But obviously 667 00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:04,768 we have to, you know, uh, 668 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,371 - check some... - Things. 669 00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,603 ...things. There are things that have to be checked before I get it to you. 670 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:11,325 If we don't check the thing, 671 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,641 - then they... - We will receive. 672 00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,326 Yes, you will receive, 673 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,442 and here it is now. 674 00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:19,246 On its way... 675 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,324 - This small... - We will receive. 676 00:33:22,400 --> 00:33:23,481 Here you go. 677 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,528 And you can... You can have the bag as well. 678 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:29,122 You know, it's been lovely 679 00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:32,849 but, uh, we don't want to intrude on this special moment. 680 00:33:32,920 --> 00:33:36,322 So, why don't we just leave you with the new baby? 681 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:37,811 You will remain. 682 00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:40,450 Is that strictly necessary? 683 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,609 I do not like surprises. 684 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:45,807 Yeah. 685 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:47,889 Well, it's going to be a funny old day. 686 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:51,967 Oh, boy. 687 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,010 You know what? I just can't stand idly by and let this continue. 688 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,811 Death has been done this day! 689 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,482 Noble blood has been spilled 690 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,564 and our tears will surely follow. 691 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,246 The sky shall crack. 692 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,721 The ground shall heave. 693 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,725 And even the rocks and the stones 694 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:19,246 shall weep their rage. 695 00:34:19,560 --> 00:34:22,530 Behold the head 696 00:34:23,160 --> 00:34:24,650 of Hydroflax. 697 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:31,282 Rest now, sweet prince. 698 00:34:32,400 --> 00:34:34,971 Walk amongst us nevermore. 699 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,525 Shall we start the bidding at 200 billion? 700 00:34:39,600 --> 00:34:40,931 I'm sorry, Professor Song, 701 00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:43,606 but we really couldn't keep this treasure from the truly devout. 702 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,650 Oh, my apologies to the truly devout. 703 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:48,802 And shall we find out who is the most truly devout? 704 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:51,167 - This is heresy. - Two hundred over there! 705 00:34:51,240 --> 00:34:53,004 Two hundred and fifty billion by the sweet trolley! 706 00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,123 Silence! This is not our way. 707 00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:56,884 Well, it doesn't say much for your king 708 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,200 if you can't put a price on his head. 709 00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,408 Let's see what the king himself has to say. 710 00:35:06,080 --> 00:35:07,127 Quick! 711 00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,441 Professor Song, 712 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:11,330 has the food disappointed you? 713 00:35:18,360 --> 00:35:21,284 At last. I am whole again. 714 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,364 Come to me, my body! 715 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:36,085 Well? Put me back. 716 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:37,446 Scan in progress. 717 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,601 You don't need to scan me, just put me back. 718 00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:43,607 Tissue deterioration now irreversible. 719 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,006 Well, what are you going to do about that? 720 00:35:46,080 --> 00:35:49,402 Additional. The projectile inside your brain continues to move. 721 00:35:49,640 --> 00:35:51,881 Prognosis, death in seven minutes. 722 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,121 Well, I refuse. 723 00:35:53,480 --> 00:35:55,608 King Hydroflax does not accept death. 724 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:57,845 Orders requested. 725 00:35:57,920 --> 00:36:00,651 Whatever I need to survive, do it now! 726 00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:03,610 Orders accepted. You need a new head. 727 00:36:03,680 --> 00:36:05,728 No, no! 728 00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:08,967 - Not a new head. - orders implementing. 729 00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:11,486 No! No! 730 00:36:19,160 --> 00:36:21,766 I don't suppose you could fetch that over for me, could you? 731 00:36:25,240 --> 00:36:27,049 As I was saying, Your Majesty... 732 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,411 Well, Your Remaining Majesty. 733 00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:34,805 If it's a new head you're after, 734 00:36:34,880 --> 00:36:37,281 this is the guide to the very best. 735 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,044 Don't touch that! Give that back to me. 736 00:36:39,120 --> 00:36:41,122 The diary of River Song. 737 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,648 The ultimate guide to the Time Lord known as the Doctor. 738 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:46,245 Don't you dare touch that! 739 00:36:47,720 --> 00:36:49,449 Long live the king. 740 00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:53,603 "The Pandorica opens." 741 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,848 Ooh! That sounds exciting. 742 00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,087 And goodness me, a picnic at Asgard. 743 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:01,880 Some people really know how to snack, don't they? 744 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,931 You should know, I have a significant history of escaping. 745 00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:06,845 "The crash of the Byzantium." 746 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:08,770 Didn't they make a movie of that? 747 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,281 - And when I do, I'm going to kill you. - Oh! 748 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:15,445 "Jim the Fish." Well, we all know Jim the Fish. 749 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,286 And the longer you spend reading my diary, the longer I'm going to take. 750 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,125 And you've just been to Manhattan. 751 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:27,325 - What planet is that? - So do please keep going. 752 00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:29,486 This is irrelevant. 753 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:31,722 If I may intrude, Your Majesty. 754 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:35,602 The Doctor is a legendary being of remarkable power 755 00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:37,928 and an infinite number of faces. 756 00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:40,402 His head, I assure you, 757 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,804 would be your crowning achievement. 758 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,128 Besides which, uh, 759 00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:46,845 many of us on this ship 760 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:51,289 would be happy to see his career cut off, as it were, at the neck. 761 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,727 Proceed faster or your head will be taken. 762 00:37:53,800 --> 00:37:55,928 I would give my head with gladness. 763 00:37:56,800 --> 00:37:59,371 This woman is the known consort of the Doctor. 764 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,687 Confirmation required. Uploading. 765 00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:06,326 Ooh! 766 00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:07,641 Ooh! 767 00:38:07,720 --> 00:38:11,247 Is River Song the consort of the Time Lora' known as the Doctor? 768 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:12,367 Huh? 769 00:38:12,880 --> 00:38:14,644 I think so, yeah. 770 00:38:14,720 --> 00:38:18,122 Here, can I stay up for a bit? It's really very whiffy down there. 771 00:38:18,720 --> 00:38:20,290 Aw! 772 00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,326 - Aw, it's awful. - So! 773 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:26,086 Where is the Doctor now? 774 00:38:27,120 --> 00:38:29,691 I haven't the faintest idea. 775 00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:32,081 - Is that credible? - It's true. 776 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:34,882 - You're the woman he loves. - No, I'm not. 777 00:38:35,040 --> 00:38:36,121 She's lying. 778 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:39,443 The Doctor does not and has never loved me. 779 00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:40,647 I'm not lying. 780 00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,807 Confirmed. The life form is not lying. 781 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,047 Impossible. 782 00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:48,929 - This is a trick. - No, it isn't. 783 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:51,687 My information is correct. 784 00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:55,602 - You are the woman who loves the Doctor. - Yes, I am. I've never denied it. 785 00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:59,801 But who ever said he loved me back? He's the Doctor. 786 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:03,043 He doesn't go around falling in love with people. 787 00:39:03,120 --> 00:39:06,841 And if you think he's anything that small or that ordinary, 788 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,606 then you haven't the first idea of what you're dealing with. 789 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,889 Your Majesty, I assure you she is the perfect bait. 790 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,970 When this woman is in danger, the Doctor will always come. 791 00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,327 Oh, you are a moron! 792 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:21,481 No, he won't! 793 00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:23,847 - He's probably already here! - No, he isn't. Of course he isn't. 794 00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:25,365 Possibly on this ship. 795 00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,204 Well, go on. Scan it, then. 796 00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:29,284 - Go on, why don't you? - River... 797 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,249 Two hearts, stupid clothes, 798 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:32,481 - you can't miss him. - River... 799 00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:36,246 Go on! Scan the whole parsec. He's not here. 800 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:38,369 God knows where he is right now 801 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,046 but I promise you, he's doing whatever the hell he wants 802 00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,088 and not giving a damn about me! 803 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:45,208 - And I'm just fine with that. - River... 804 00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,443 When you love the Doctor, it's like loving the stars themselves. 805 00:39:48,520 --> 00:39:51,364 You don't expect a sunset to admire you back. 806 00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:53,488 And if I happen to find myself in danger, 807 00:39:53,560 --> 00:39:56,643 let me tell you, the Doctor is not stupid enough 808 00:39:56,720 --> 00:39:58,370 or sentimental enough 809 00:39:58,440 --> 00:40:00,920 and he is certainly not in love enough 810 00:40:01,000 --> 00:40:04,049 to find himself standing in it with me! 811 00:40:16,520 --> 00:40:18,170 Hello, sweetie. 812 00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:27,688 You are so doing those roots. 813 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,842 - What, the roots of the sunset? - Don't you dare. 814 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:31,809 I'll have to check with the stars themselves. 815 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,006 Oh, shut up. 816 00:40:33,080 --> 00:40:35,242 I was just keeping them talking till it kicks off. 817 00:40:35,680 --> 00:40:37,045 What is this conversation? Explain. 818 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,406 You keep out of this. 819 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,608 - We need to get to work. - Okay, what have you got? 820 00:40:40,680 --> 00:40:42,170 Four exits, two concealed, one in the ceiling. 821 00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:44,242 - There's also one in the floor. - No, I don't like it. 822 00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:46,163 - Too close to the engine ducts? - Bit too tight. 823 00:40:46,240 --> 00:40:47,890 Oh, I hope you're not being personal. 824 00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:50,645 - Excuse me, what are you talking about? - Hush! Mummy and Daddy are busy. 825 00:40:50,720 --> 00:40:54,042 There we are. 2:00. 826 00:40:54,120 --> 00:40:56,771 - Here we go. - Cease this conversation. 827 00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,525 Darling, in the event of a sudden meteor strike on the lower starboard decks, 828 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:01,443 where would you say is the safest place to stand? 829 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,409 - Meteor strike? - Exactly here, I should think. 830 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,608 Do you know what that isn't? A coincidence. 831 00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:07,808 - Your escape plan. - It's cheaper than a taxi. 832 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,530 What meteor strike? 833 00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,206 Alert. Meteor storm imminent'. 834 00:41:12,840 --> 00:41:14,410 - That meteor strike. - Alert. 835 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,484 - How could you know? - I'm an archaeologist from the future. 836 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:19,610 I dug you up. 837 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,126 Well... 838 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,684 See you in 400 years! 839 00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:36,443 I had this book, History's Finest Exploding Restaurants. 840 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:37,806 "The best food for free, 841 00:41:37,880 --> 00:41:39,450 - "skip the coffee." - What do you think, by the way? 842 00:41:39,520 --> 00:41:41,249 - Of what? - The new body. 843 00:41:41,320 --> 00:41:43,687 I'll let you know. I've only seen the face. 844 00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:46,331 How have you got a new one, by the way? Aren't there rules? 845 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:49,085 - A thing happened. - I bet it probably did. 846 00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,885 - Oh! - Starboard decks compromised. 847 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,570 Please abandon ship. 848 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,165 The diamond. 849 00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:57,367 Good, aren't I? 850 00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:58,965 - Please abandon ship. - I'm not sure "good" is the word. 851 00:41:59,040 --> 00:42:00,280 Better not be. 852 00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,127 We need to get this ship stabilised. Where's the bridge? 853 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,850 - This way. - Please abandon ship. 854 00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:13,124 We also need to stop that. 855 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:14,361 Toss for it? 856 00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:17,086 - I'll take the robot. You drive. - Okay. 857 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:18,685 Oh, don't stop for strangers. 858 00:42:18,960 --> 00:42:20,246 Look who's talking. 859 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,124 - What's the point? It's over. - I will take your head. 860 00:42:28,200 --> 00:42:29,201 What for? 861 00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:32,324 We're on a crashing spaceship and I don't even know if I can save it. 862 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,165 You just shot your own king in your own face. 863 00:42:35,240 --> 00:42:36,651 You'd get beheaded if you had one. 864 00:42:36,720 --> 00:42:39,087 I will take yours. King Hydroflax will live again. 865 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:48,961 Do you know what you need? 866 00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,168 You know what any decent headless king needs? 867 00:42:51,240 --> 00:42:54,210 Money. This connects every bank 868 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:58,330 to every other bank in this galaxy. Right here, in my hand, 869 00:42:58,400 --> 00:43:00,164 all the money you can eat. 870 00:43:00,240 --> 00:43:01,401 Demonstrate. 871 00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,126 With pleasure. 872 00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:13,362 Welcome to all the best firewalls in the galaxy. 873 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,647 Nothing is protected like money. 874 00:43:15,720 --> 00:43:18,769 Every stock market within a light year is arguing in your head. 875 00:43:19,000 --> 00:43:20,570 I do not understand. 876 00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:22,688 That's the way it is for most people. 877 00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,922 Do not understand. Do not understand. 878 00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,086 He had a bad day on the market. 879 00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:30,491 Do not understand. 880 00:43:31,120 --> 00:43:32,565 Do not understand. 881 00:43:32,720 --> 00:43:36,088 Sorry. I appreciate that wasn't really funny but I couldn't help saying it. 882 00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,210 Surface impact in two minutes. 883 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,890 - Where's everyone else? - They ran for it. So should we. 884 00:43:47,960 --> 00:43:49,530 We need to get the nav com back online 885 00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,807 - and reroute the thrusters. - I'm trying. 886 00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:56,966 - So, King Hydroflax. - Oh, how many times? 887 00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,441 - I married the diamond. - So you say. 888 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:01,205 - Elizabeth I. - Ramone. 889 00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,248 - Marilyn Monroe. - Stephen Fry. 890 00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:04,806 - Cleopatra! - Same thing! 891 00:44:08,560 --> 00:44:09,846 Hang on a minute, 892 00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:11,925 I recognise that planet. 893 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,606 Well, that's nice. Maybe they'll name the crater after us. 894 00:44:17,040 --> 00:44:19,566 That's Darillium. 895 00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:23,321 Always good to know where we're going. 896 00:44:23,400 --> 00:44:24,561 Could you concentrate on your work, please? 897 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:27,166 You know, the Singing Towers? 898 00:44:27,240 --> 00:44:29,402 Yes, I'll be sure to give them a wave as we zoom past. 899 00:44:29,480 --> 00:44:30,970 You always say you're going to take me there for dinner 900 00:44:31,040 --> 00:44:32,849 And then you always cancel at the last minute. 901 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,127 I'd quite like to cancel this time, too, if at all possible. 902 00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:43,571 What are you doing? That's the internal teleport. 903 00:44:43,680 --> 00:44:47,287 Yes, I can use the power cell to boost the thrusters. 904 00:44:47,360 --> 00:44:48,885 Really? How? 905 00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,406 Hold these, quickly. 906 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,487 - I don't see what good this will do. - Sorry, River. 907 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,843 Crashing spaceships, that's my job. 908 00:44:58,480 --> 00:44:59,641 You... 909 00:45:02,440 --> 00:45:03,680 No, you don't! 910 00:45:07,600 --> 00:45:10,649 More power. You can do it, you can do it! 911 00:45:11,440 --> 00:45:14,444 No, River! No, no. No, no, no! 912 00:45:20,640 --> 00:45:22,244 Get back in the Tardis. This is my job. 913 00:45:22,320 --> 00:45:24,129 - This is my job! - I've been doing it longer. 914 00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:25,565 - I do it better. - River, 915 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,651 not one person on this ship, not one living thing, is worth you. 916 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:30,447 Or you! 917 00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:35,007 Surface impact in ten, nine, eight... 918 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:36,241 Teensy bit close. 919 00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:38,288 - Yeah, sort of. - Darling, shall we pop back indoors? 920 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:42,126 - Yeah, good idea. - ...four, three, two, one... 921 00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:10,407 Indestructible as ever. 922 00:46:17,400 --> 00:46:19,084 "Married the diamond." 923 00:47:09,200 --> 00:47:10,326 Hello? 924 00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,568 Sir? 925 00:47:13,400 --> 00:47:16,847 - The ship, it came down. Did you see it? - Yes, I did. 926 00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:20,410 - I've been searching for survivors... - I doubt if you'd find any. 927 00:47:20,840 --> 00:47:24,003 And I don't think any of them would be worth it, if that's a comfort. 928 00:47:24,240 --> 00:47:26,368 Brave of you to try, though. Well done. 929 00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:28,761 Thank you, sir. 930 00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:34,284 Those are the Singing Towers, aren't they? 931 00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:37,402 Yes, sir. But it's just the wind. 932 00:47:37,480 --> 00:47:39,403 The Singing Towers of Darillium. 933 00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:42,928 Here we are at last. 934 00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:44,081 Sir? 935 00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:47,927 You know what? You should build a restaurant right here, 936 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:49,684 with a view of those towers. 937 00:47:49,760 --> 00:47:51,489 You'd make a lot of money that way. 938 00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:53,801 You should do that. 939 00:47:53,880 --> 00:47:55,769 You'd need a lot of money to begin with, sir. 940 00:47:56,240 --> 00:47:57,924 The Halassi Androvar. 941 00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:02,081 I think you'll find that the reward is pretty substantial. 942 00:48:08,240 --> 00:48:10,402 Why would you give me this, sir? 943 00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:12,565 Restaurant. 944 00:48:31,600 --> 00:48:32,647 Excuse me. 945 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,963 Um, I'd like a table on the balcony with a view of the towers. 946 00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:38,725 I'm sorry, sir. The first available slot I have is Christmas Day, 947 00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:41,487 - in four years' time. - Not a problem. 948 00:48:53,040 --> 00:48:56,328 Professor Song, the Doctor is waiting for you on the balcony. 949 00:48:57,760 --> 00:48:58,807 Oh! 950 00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:02,722 - Excellent. - This way, ma'am. 951 00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:05,046 Do we have a good table? 952 00:49:05,520 --> 00:49:07,568 The finest in all the galaxy, ma'am. 953 00:49:08,720 --> 00:49:10,529 Ah. Um... 954 00:49:10,920 --> 00:49:11,967 One moment. 955 00:49:20,240 --> 00:49:22,004 - Ramone? - Professor Song. 956 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:24,289 The Doctor will be with you in a moment. 957 00:49:25,080 --> 00:49:26,366 What are you doing here? 958 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:29,364 They pulled us from the wreckage, ma'am. Fixed us up. 959 00:49:29,800 --> 00:49:31,643 I've been working here ever since. 960 00:49:32,560 --> 00:49:33,925 Don't worry, 961 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:37,129 the nasty part's all gone. Got deleted in a merger. 962 00:49:37,800 --> 00:49:39,006 What about Nardole? 963 00:49:39,200 --> 00:49:40,690 Oh, Merry Christmas, ma'am. 964 00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:42,125 Good to see you again. 965 00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:44,646 Merry Christmas, Nardole! 966 00:49:44,800 --> 00:49:47,770 Sorry I'm off duty, I'm just having some "me" time. 967 00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,523 I imagine that must be quite a challenge. 968 00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:53,523 Yes, ma'am. 969 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:55,844 So, Ramone. 970 00:49:57,520 --> 00:49:59,727 - You have a metal body now. - Down, girl. 971 00:50:03,800 --> 00:50:06,371 Now, that, my dear, is a suit. 972 00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:07,726 Happy Christmas. 973 00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:09,807 Really? 974 00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:13,565 I don't think you've ever given me a present before. 975 00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,688 It's a sonic screwdriver! How lovely. 976 00:50:21,760 --> 00:50:24,001 When I saw the sonic trowel, I thought it was just embarrassing. 977 00:50:24,080 --> 00:50:26,128 But look. 978 00:50:27,840 --> 00:50:29,968 Oh, thank you. 979 00:50:33,560 --> 00:50:35,722 You look, uh, amazing. 980 00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,043 Oh, Doctor. You have no idea whether I look amazing or not. 981 00:50:39,120 --> 00:50:41,282 Well, you've moved your hair about, haven't you? 982 00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:43,727 Well clone. It's very sweet of you to try. 983 00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,765 So what do you think? 984 00:50:49,880 --> 00:50:51,928 The Singing Towers. 985 00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:08,166 The music. 986 00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:20,645 Listen to it. 987 00:51:24,680 --> 00:51:26,250 Are you crying? 988 00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:29,840 No. just the wind. 989 00:51:30,880 --> 00:51:32,370 Nothing's ever just the wind. 990 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,570 No? 991 00:51:36,400 --> 00:51:38,971 It blows through the cave system. 992 00:51:39,040 --> 00:51:41,122 It harmonises with crystal layer. 993 00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:43,840 Why are you sad? 994 00:51:45,360 --> 00:51:46,521 Why are you sad? 995 00:51:47,920 --> 00:51:50,446 I told you, my diary is nearly full. 996 00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:52,367 I worry. 997 00:51:53,240 --> 00:51:54,890 Please don't. 998 00:52:00,040 --> 00:52:02,964 - There are stories about us, you know. - Oh, I dread to think. 999 00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:06,249 - I look them up sometimes. - You really shouldn't do that. 1000 00:52:06,440 --> 00:52:09,444 Some of them suggest that 1001 00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:15,204 The very last night we spend together is at the Singing Towers of Darillium. 1002 00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,521 That wouldn't be true, would it? 1003 00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:23,930 Spoilers. 1004 00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:31,691 Well, that would explain why you kept cancelling coming here. 1005 00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,286 - Remember when there were two of you? - River, stop. Please stop. 1006 00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,522 Because I want you to know that if this is the last night, 1007 00:52:36,600 --> 00:52:38,523 I expect you to find a way round it. 1008 00:52:38,600 --> 00:52:40,967 Not everything can be avoided. 1009 00:52:42,640 --> 00:52:43,687 Not forever. 1010 00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:46,200 But you're you. 1011 00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:49,280 There's always a loophole. 1012 00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,641 You wait until the last minute and then you spring it on me. 1013 00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:53,051 Every night is the last night for something. 1014 00:52:53,120 --> 00:52:55,248 - Every Christmas is last Christmas. - But you will. 1015 00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,367 You'll wait until I've given up hope, all will be lost 1016 00:52:59,440 --> 00:53:02,125 and you'll do that smug little smile and then you'll save the day. 1017 00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:04,806 - You always do. - No, I don't. Not always. 1018 00:53:07,240 --> 00:53:09,846 Times end, River. Because they have to. 1019 00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,368 Because there's no such thing as happy ever after. 1020 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:15,803 It's just a lie we tell ourselves because the truth is so hard. 1021 00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:17,966 No, Doctor. 1022 00:53:19,520 --> 00:53:20,567 You're wrong. 1023 00:53:21,840 --> 00:53:24,241 Happy ever after doesn't mean forever. 1024 00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:27,962 It just means time. 1025 00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:31,523 A little time. 1026 00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:38,486 But that's not the sort of thing you could ever understand, is it? 1027 00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:41,207 Mmm. 1028 00:53:43,440 --> 00:53:46,967 - What do you think of the towers? - I love them. 1029 00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:50,208 Then, why are you ignoring them? 1030 00:53:50,280 --> 00:53:52,009 They're ignoring me. 1031 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,044 But then, 1032 00:53:54,120 --> 00:53:56,771 you can't expect a monolith to love you back. 1033 00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:59,082 No, you can't. 1034 00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:03,727 They've been there for millions of years, 1035 00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:07,441 through storms and floods and wars and time. 1036 00:54:08,520 --> 00:54:10,761 Nobody really understands where the music comes from. 1037 00:54:10,880 --> 00:54:13,121 It's probably something to do with the precise positions, 1038 00:54:13,200 --> 00:54:15,328 the distance between both towers. 1039 00:54:15,840 --> 00:54:19,003 Even the locals aren't sure. All anyone will ever tell you is 1040 00:54:19,560 --> 00:54:22,370 that when the wind stands fair and the night is perfect, 1041 00:54:23,600 --> 00:54:25,204 when you least expect it, 1042 00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:28,046 but always 1043 00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:32,403 when you need it the most, 1044 00:54:38,600 --> 00:54:39,965 there is a song. 1045 00:54:48,880 --> 00:54:50,211 So... 1046 00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:54,042 assuming tonight is all we have left... 1047 00:54:54,120 --> 00:54:57,408 - I didn't say that. - ...how long 1048 00:54:58,920 --> 00:55:01,127 is a night on Darillium? 1049 00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:05,966 Twenty-four years. 1050 00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:15,885 I hate you. 1051 00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:19,521 No, you don't.