1
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,720
In tonight's Top Gear -

2
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:08,040
the Mick Jagger of super cars.

3
00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:12,440
Our quest goes on
to find Britain's fastest faith.

4
00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:16,120
And the Stig sorts out
TVR's new coupe.

5
00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:25,400
Hello, and a big yuletide welcome
to our festive edition of Top Gear.

6
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,680
<font color="

7
00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,600
We've got a Christmas...twig.

8
00:00:31,600 --> 00:00:33,040
And some oranges and some nuts,

9
00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:34,960
and, is. Oh!

10
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:39,320
That was a bauble.

11
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:39,320
APPLAUSE

12
00:00:39,320 --> 00:00:44,280
No, no, I tell you what, let's just
forget about Christmas, shall we?

13
00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:47,680
<font color="

14
00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:52,360
Now, they tend to be bought
by people who live in towns

15
00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:57,800
so when they go to the countryside,
they think they'll blend.

16
00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,280
Really?!

17
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:06,040
This is the countryside.

18
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:09,360
It's a brown and gnarled place,

19
00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,880
<font color="

20
00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:18,600
And these are the cars rural people
drive - Wellingtons with wheels.

21
00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:23,720
Muddy, broken things held together
with straw and dead pheasants.

22
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:31,200
It's hard to blend here
unless you live here.

23
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,600
This is my off-road car.

24
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,680
<font color="

25
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:47,360
Built to take on Africa and
Australia, it has no problem at all

26
00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:52,360
taking my children to school
in Oxfordshire. It has seven seats.

27
00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,800
There's a sense of invincibility
about it -

28
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:01,120
when you're on a narrow road,
<font color="

29
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:07,400
You can use the Toyota for a day's
shooting, but I don't recommend it.

30
00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:11,120
It's not that it doesn't work
off-road - it does.

31
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,400
It's brilliant. It doesn't fit in
with the scene somehow.

32
00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:24,240
Shooting's a sport where the winner
<font color="

33
00:02:24,240 --> 00:02:29,760
There's just you and your piece
and the stillness of the trees.

34
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:35,080
Smoke curls from an autumnal fire,
a gentle rain softens the edges.

35
00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:50,240
And in this traditional scene,
the Land Cruiser's just too...

36
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:51,840
..chintzy, somehow.

37
00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,760
<font color="

38
00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:58,360
And that's Toyota's idea of green.

39
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,760
It just doesn't work.

40
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:06,720
The BMW X5 is also hopeless,
but for a different reason.

41
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:12,000
Yes, it's big, and yes, it has
four-wheel drive, but that's it.

42
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:14,640
It doesn't have off-road tyres.

43
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:18,480
<font color="
in Jimmy Choo pumps.

44
00:03:20,120 --> 00:03:22,480
This car is Milli Vanilli -

45
00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:27,000
looks good on paper,
but actually it's just miming.

46
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,240
On even the gentlest of tracks,

47
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:35,280
it gets stuck, and the beezer
will drive by in his old Land Rover

48
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:37,840
<font color="

49
00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:41,280
Even if you are the Marquis of
Blandford.

50
00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:43,400
Was that not perfect?!

51
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:48,160
And how much is
that Land Rover worth? 30 quid?

52
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,040
OK, no, I'll be fair - £200.

53
00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:55,560
And that's £50,000, and it's stuck.
That's right.

54
00:03:55,560 --> 00:04:00,120
<font color="
Trooper come by? Might, yeah.

55
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:05,160
MUSIC: "Rhubarb And Custard"
theme tune

56
00:04:14,840 --> 00:04:19,760
Strangely, that Land Rover is the
same age as me and is the only...

57
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,880
I couldn't get up this hill!

58
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,600
<font color="

59
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,720
It went further than the BMW anyway.

60
00:04:26,720 --> 00:04:29,640
You've beaten the BMW by 30 feet.

61
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,280
Oh, well, that's 30 feet less
to walk! Exactly.

62
00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:41,760
What about the Jeep Grand Cheroke?

63
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,720
For an American car,
<font color="

64
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:48,400
it DOES blend in to
the Oxfordshire backdrop,

65
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:52,840
and it is good at dealing with
the rough stuff.

66
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:06,080
But, good though it may be out here,
it does have one or two problems.

67
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:08,880
It's quite agricultural-feeling.

68
00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,640
<font color="
it IS an off-road car.

69
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,600
What I DO mind is the ruching
on the leather seats

70
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,880
and this hideous fake plastic wood.

71
00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:24,440
It's also nowhere near as big inside
as you'd imagine from the outside.

72
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:29,640
But the worst thing is
<font color="

73
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:32,280
that you've bought second-best.

74
00:05:49,120 --> 00:05:53,880
The new Range Rover
is £20,000 more than a Jeep.

75
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,880
These days,
it's more a luxury yacht than a car.

76
00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,480
But don't worry.

77
00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,560
It can still play rough.

78
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,320
Look at this.
<font color="

79
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,400
to engage the hill descent control.

80
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,200
Put it into neutral,
engage low range.

81
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,920
Back into drive, and now...

82
00:06:20,760 --> 00:06:25,160
..I just point it at this
seemingly impossible slope here...

83
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:29,960
HE LAUGHS

84
00:06:29,960 --> 00:06:33,080
I'm now going to do something
<font color="

85
00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:35,640
take my foot off the brake.

86
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:36,720
OK?

87
00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:45,400
That's astonishing - I can feel
the anti-lock brakes

88
00:06:45,400 --> 00:06:50,000
grabbing each wheel,
making sure we stay straight,

89
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,160
and that we continue to do
a walking pace

90
00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:56,120
<font color="

91
00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:01,440
Of course, the X5 can do that
as well.

92
00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,120
The X5 has a hill descent control,
too.

93
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:09,040
It's something BMW stole
while they ran Rover.

94
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:14,880
But what the X5 can't do is
turn round and go back up the slope.

95
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:17,560
<font color="
a low-range gearbox.

96
00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:22,600
It doesn't have this thing's ground
clearance or wheel articulation.

97
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:28,360
It's not a proper off-road car,
and this just is.

98
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:36,840
There's something else. A Range
Rover looks good outside the Savoy,

99
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:40,680
<font color="

100
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:51,120
There was a time when Range Rovers
were king off-the-road.

101
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:57,120
And they still have an air
of invincibility, but believe me,

102
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,640
you can still get
these things stuck.

103
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,200
Really stuck.

104
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,280
See what I mean?

105
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,720
<font color="
was Lord Blandford.

106
00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,280
BLEEP

107
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,000
Well, it was his garden.

108
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,920
He, however, made things worse.
A local tried next.

109
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:21,520
But his pick-up ended up
in the lake.

110
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,840
I then decided to fetch
<font color="

111
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:32,160
I skidded off the track into a wood.

112
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:37,600
The thing is, if those saplings
hadn't been there, I'd be very wet.

113
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:42,760
How do we get it out?
Why are you laughing?

114
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,920
You said,
"This truck goes anywhere."

115
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,400
<font color="

116
00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:54,240
While we took a chainsaw to the
trees holding the Toyota in place,

117
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,400
a tractor came
to get the Range Rover out.

118
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,840
But even that was having problems.

119
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:05,840
The trouble with filming in the
countryside is there's too much mud.

120
00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:07,880
<font color="

121
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:12,520
and we got back to explaining
why the Range Rover is so good.

122
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,600
Look at this - great slabs of real,
sturdy timber here and here,

123
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,880
hand-stitched leather,
and this foundry finish.

124
00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:28,240
It's the best interior on any car
<font color="

125
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:34,120
It's like being in a field in
a trendy restaurant in Notting Hill.

126
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,480
Except here the produce is fresher.

127
00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:44,640
So, there we are. If you
really want to get about off-road,

128
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:49,400
get something old and knackered
with narrow, knobbly tyres.

129
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,240
<font color="
something for the weekend,

130
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:58,760
all the cars are equal, but
one is more equal than the others.

131
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:04,600
The only car not stuck was the Jeep?
No, it got stuck. We didn't see it.

132
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:07,800
The cameraman was driving it when
it got stuck.

133
00:10:07,800 --> 00:10:09,520
<font color="

134
00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:14,080
So the Range Rover was the best
despite being £20,000 more?

135
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:19,000
Yes, but the attention to detail
on this thing is just amazing.

136
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:24,000
The steering wheel is heated. You
push that button and it warms up.

137
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:28,840
And there's a paraffin heater
<font color="

138
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:33,760
and you can programme it
on the computer here to come on

139
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:38,080
say at 6.00 if you're leaving at
7.00, so it's warm when you get in.

140
00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:43,600
I fear this may be the most boring
sentence ever said on British TV,

141
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,720
<font color="
chassis, now it's a mono cog.

142
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,040
You know what that means,
I presume? It's less wobbly.

143
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:56,520
All this clever stuff's great,
assuming it works.

144
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,640
Range Rovers
haven't got the best reputation.

145
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:02,240
<font color="

146
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:08,080
They did suffer a few problems with
the paintwork, rattly interior trim.

147
00:11:08,080 --> 00:11:10,080
Engines - they can be a problem.

148
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:14,720
Yeah, the 4lt. And the 4.6.
And the diesel. All the engines.

149
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:18,160
<font color="

150
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:22,120
And the manuals. Yep.
Transfer boxes. The suspension.

151
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:25,040
And all of the electronics.
Yeah.

152
00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,960
All a bit...you know?
Yeah.

153
00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:32,360
<font color="
about reliability on this car.

154
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,840
They said that this one's
built properly.

155
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:40,240
So I said, "OK, lend us one
for six months," and they've agreed.

156
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:45,040
If anything falls off or melts
or breaks in any way,

157
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,840
<font color="
the managing director's dog.

158
00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:52,000
Fair.
In front of his children.

159
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:57,040
No, really - if this, for instance,
gets a little bit loose, bit wobbly,

160
00:11:57,040 --> 00:11:59,760
Frisky buys the farm.

161
00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:06,400
It's time now to look back on 2002
<font color="

162
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:08,520
The nominations are -

163
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:13,320
the Range Rover we've just seen,
the king of off-roaders.

164
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:17,760
The Mazda 6 - the Japanese
took on the Germans and succeeded.

165
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,360
It's a cracking car and good value.

166
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:25,000
The Mini Cooper S is the trendiest
<font color="

167
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,480
It's like driving
a super-charged Parker.

168
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:30,280
And the Audi RS 6 -

169
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,080
it's fast in a straight line,

170
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:35,600
fast round corners,
and fast even in the rain.

171
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:41,040
Have we missed anything?

172
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:41,040
AUDIENCE MEMBER SHOUTS OUT

173
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:46,400
<font color="
stupid car. We'll get to that later.

174
00:12:48,080 --> 00:12:49,600
The Vauxhall Vectra!

175
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,960
The Vauxhall Vectra?!

176
00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,960
LAUGHTER

177
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:57,720
That wouldn't be the best car
even if it was launched in 1984!

178
00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,400
<font color="
this year?

179
00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:04,560
Well...
Where are you from?

180
00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:09,040
Which part of the country...
Coventry. Coventry.

181
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,960
They make the damn things there,
have you not noticed them?!

182
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,360
<font color="

183
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:20,160
as are the official
European Car Of The Year jury,

184
00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,800
who voted in the Renault Megane!

185
00:13:22,800 --> 00:13:25,160
Car Of The Year!

186
00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:27,800
Only if you do that.

187
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,760
So, our car of the year is...

188
00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,680
We've got some gold envelopes.
Ready?

189
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,880
<font color="

190
00:13:36,880 --> 00:13:42,320
The judges - us - were impressed
with its mono-thingy chassis,

191
00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,320
its supplementary heater,

192
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:47,440
and its sheer Range Roveriness.

193
00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:53,000
The next one is this year's most
pointless car. The short list is -

194
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:57,240
<font color="
a private jet that can't take off.

195
00:13:57,240 --> 00:14:00,000
The Ford Fusion.

196
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:05,520
Don't be fooled by the ads,
it is a Ford Fiesta in a hat.

197
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:10,800
And the Rover 75, suitable
only for the Mayor of Preston.

198
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,440
LAUGHTER

199
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,200
<font color="

200
00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:19,840
SL55 AMG. SL55 AMG you think is a
pointless...? You..!

201
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:23,600
LAUGHTER

202
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:30,400
So, let's go to the actual winner,

203
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,760
which is...

204
00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:38,560
It's the Ford Fusion, everybody!
APPLAUSE

205
00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:41,120
Now, erm...

206
00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:46,160
<font color="
with Ford's idleness on this one.

207
00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:51,040
They knew we all liked Mini MPVs,
they knew they needed to make one,

208
00:14:51,040 --> 00:14:53,480
and they couldn't be bothered.

209
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:58,240
Next, a popular category -
the weirdest Renault.

210
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:01,920
Weirdest Renault of the year.
<font color="

211
00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:07,600
the Vel Satis - a businessman's car,
but only if your business is Enron.

212
00:15:09,760 --> 00:15:14,600
The Megane - a family car, but only
if your family is the Osbournes.

213
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:16,280
LAUGHTER

214
00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,920
And the Avantime - a sporty coupe,

215
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:22,680
but only if you don't want a car
<font color="

216
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,040
Gold has cut.

217
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:30,160
And the winner, the weirdest
Renault of the year is...

218
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,320
In true mad Renault style,
it's the Nissan Micra.

219
00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,400
LAUGHTER

220
00:15:36,400 --> 00:15:41,200
The judges noted the designer
had too much ink in his pen.

221
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:46,120
<font color="
Step away from the cabcam unit.

222
00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:50,560
"You've finished!
That's enough details on one car!"

223
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:55,560
Now the big one. Our "surely
you don't need the money" award.

224
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,560
The winner is...

225
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:01,520
..Eddie Irvine,
<font color="

226
00:16:01,520 --> 00:16:04,400
APPLAUSE

227
00:16:06,720 --> 00:16:12,560
The man earned £6 million last year,
but still thought it was a good idea

228
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:15,160
to put his fizzog on this box,

229
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:19,680
which is available in Woolworths
for £79.99.

230
00:16:19,680 --> 00:16:25,040
Now, we were going to make an award
<font color="

231
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,120
which is the Radical,
with one minute 19 seconds.

232
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:33,880
But it seems the Germans have been
monitoring our broadcast.

233
00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:37,320
They said they've got a couple
of cars

234
00:16:37,320 --> 00:16:41,200
which they think could blitzkrieg
<font color="

235
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,320
This is the AS One.

236
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,520
It's powered by a bike engine,

237
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,360
the same Suzuki unit we saw
in the Radical and the Westfield.

238
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,800
It's, erm...

239
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,320
Where is it?

240
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:58,960
It's gone. Um...

241
00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:04,080
Well, wherever it is,
<font color="

242
00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:10,440
That doesn't sound like much,
but the AS1 only weighs 600kg.

243
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,360
That's the same as my shoes.

244
00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:16,400
So it should go like stink.

245
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,480
But I'm more interested in that.

246
00:17:19,480 --> 00:17:24,040
It looks like a normal Audi TT,
with a few stickers on it,

247
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:29,280
<font color="
1.8lt with a turbo charger.

248
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:35,640
But it's been tweaked a little
so that it now develops 400bhp.

249
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:38,560
That's the same as a Ferrari 360.

250
00:17:38,560 --> 00:17:43,200
In a normal TT,
the engine drives all four wheels.

251
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,160
In this it drives the front wheels.

252
00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:51,200
<font color="
by a little something in the boot.

253
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:56,600
Another 400hp engine!
It has two engines!

254
00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,440
800 hp!

255
00:17:58,440 --> 00:18:01,120
Obviously...I have to have a go!

256
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,320
Oh-ho! That hurts!

257
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,840
Let's see how it handles - ooh!

258
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,840
Corners are best taken
<font color="

259
00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:19,120
Two engines.

260
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:21,360
It's ridiculous.

261
00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:25,040
Twice the fuel bills, but...

262
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,520
..it must be said, twice the fun.

263
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,080
Great!

264
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,680
But these cars must now face
the acid test.

265
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:37,480
Please welcome, the Stig!

266
00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:43,720
<font color="
stereo, so the Stig's in a bad mood.

267
00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:48,480
It may not look fast, but it has
hardly any body roll at all.

268
00:18:48,480 --> 00:18:52,160
Just look how flat it stays
through the hammerhead.

269
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,200
Right, we're coming up to the tyres.
Boy, that is SO fast.

270
00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:01,120
<font color="
as it comes to the last two corners.

271
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:06,440
Bit twitchy, but he holds it, into
the last one, and across the line.

272
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,560
Next, the mighty double-engined TT,

273
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,760
which is fast on the straights,
but not so good on the corners.

274
00:19:14,760 --> 00:19:18,680
Again no stereo.
<font color="

275
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,600
as he comes into the hammerhead.

276
00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:25,400
A big, big burst of flame
at the final corner,

277
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,640
and he's really earned
his Christmas bone.

278
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,560
Well done the Germans, good effort.

279
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,320
Here is our power car
<font color="

280
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:38,240
At the top is the British Radical
with 1.19.

281
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,320
Good car.
Let's see how the Germans did.

282
00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:45,760
First, the MTM Bimoto
with its two engines.

283
00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:48,320
Clever stuff from the Germans.

284
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:52,920
<font color="
That's the score.

285
00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,760
The score. 19.45 was the time.
1966?

286
00:19:56,760 --> 00:20:03,320
No, it's actually 1.28,
which is very, very good.

287
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:05,320
It's faster than a Lambourghini,

288
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,680
and nine seconds slower
<font color="

289
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:15,160
What about the AS One? Clever car.
That was an impressive 1.29.

290
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,960
Oh, dear.

291
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:20,200
Commendable effort.
Oh, dear.

292
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,320
Not as quick as the British Radical,

293
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:26,240
still the fastest car
<font color="

294
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,640
A few weeks ago,

295
00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:32,720
we had a race on our track
to find Britain's fastest faith.

296
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:36,200
It was won by
the Church of England.

297
00:20:36,200 --> 00:20:41,960
But no Muslim took part because
we filmed the item during Ramadan.

298
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:45,480
<font color="

299
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:48,600
or take part in any form
of motor sport.

300
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,880
However, I'm delighted to say that
Ramadan is over,

301
00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:56,200
so we have a Muslim in our base!

302
00:20:56,200 --> 00:21:00,640
Not just a Muslim. We also have
a Druid, a Rastafarian,

303
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:03,240
<font color="

304
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:05,320
Welcome to you all.

305
00:21:07,240 --> 00:21:08,880
Now...

306
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,800
You are...enormous...

307
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,840
..frankly.

308
00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:17,720
What's your name?
Pastor Gary Gordon.

309
00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:20,200
And you live where?
Oxford.

310
00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:24,680
And what do you normally drive?
<font color="

311
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:29,200
Do you have any idea
why you're here? Some idea.

312
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,720
You've not had practice
in your diesel.

313
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:36,520
I'd guess you're a Rastafarian.
Yes.

314
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:39,200
What's your name?
Olive trees.

315
00:21:39,200 --> 00:21:44,440
<font color="
Uh, work wise, a Mondeo diesel.

316
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:49,760
Another diesel. As interesting as
the Peugeot! Do you do motor sports?

317
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:55,240
I have dabbled. I've been in the
British Rally Championships. Really?

318
00:21:55,240 --> 00:22:01,240
<font color="
It doesn't matter. Left hand drive.

319
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,720
You've had it. You've all had it.

320
00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:09,600
The C of E guy did a bit on the
side, albeit in an MG. Right.

321
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:13,840
What's your name?
Arthur Pendragon.

322
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,360
<font color="

323
00:22:17,360 --> 00:22:22,040
No, I'm not fictional,
and nor's me sword. Right.

324
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:27,160
At the end, you are? Tariq Nasseem.
And you live where?

325
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:31,080
West Sussex. You drive what?
<font color="

326
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,160
A Skoda RS. Quick car!

327
00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:37,600
But I have a note here that you
once took it to Paris,

328
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,440
but you misread the speed signs?
I did.

329
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:44,360
You thought 130km/h...

330
00:22:44,360 --> 00:22:46,600
..was mph!

331
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:49,080
Yeah.
Brilliant!

332
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,720
<font color="

333
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:56,800
You kept the car in one piece, which
is more than the bishop we had on.

334
00:22:56,800 --> 00:23:00,640
Never trust a bishop.
And you - keep off the grass.

335
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,120
LAUGHTER

336
00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:08,640
We'll, er, we'll see how you get on
a little bit later.

337
00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:13,080
<font color="
about some cracking new car deals.

338
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,360
Remember the VW Passat, £11,000?

339
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:21,760
The Fiat Stilo for £7,995?
Or the best, a Ford Ka for £4,995.

340
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:25,520
It's so cheap and easy to buy
a new car,

341
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,840
it's killing the value
<font color="

342
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:33,560
At the bottom end of the market,
they're almost giving them away.

343
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:42,840
First car of the day,
a little Citroen AX.

344
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:45,680
Under 40,000 miles on the clock,

345
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:50,680
but because it's seven years old,
I can buy it for £1,300.

346
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,520
<font color="
a limited edition.

347
00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:57,840
It has a 1L engine,
so is cheap to insure,

348
00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:01,680
but you also get a sunroof
and metallic paint.

349
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:07,560
You know the inside will be nice.
Stereo, bits and pieces.

350
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:12,160
39,000 miles. It's not even
<font color="

351
00:24:12,160 --> 00:24:15,520
A few years ago,
a Citroen AX like this

352
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:18,520
would cost £2,000. It's a steal.

353
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:22,920
Next, I found this Nissan Primera
for under £1,000.

354
00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:28,000
You get power steering,
electric windows, and a sunroof.

355
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:33,360
<font color="
but it's good for another 40,000.

356
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:39,520
And you won't be investing
in a weather-beaten banger.

357
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:45,400
The paintwork shows no telltale
signs of accident damage repair.

358
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:49,120
The windows and sunroof
are both fine.

359
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:53,680
<font color="
there's no knocks or rattles.

360
00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,480
ENGINE REVS

361
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,720
All this for £1,000?
Seems a good deal to me.

362
00:25:03,480 --> 00:25:07,080
How low can you go
and still get working wheels?

363
00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:12,320
Martin Gurdon wouldn't even spend
£200 on a car.

364
00:25:12,320 --> 00:25:19,000
<font color="
It has 135,000 miles on the clock,

365
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,040
but, so far, it has given him
a year's trouble-free motoring.

366
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:28,360
With such cars,
you need a strong battery.

367
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:31,160
Decent plug leads. Decent plugs.

368
00:25:31,160 --> 00:25:34,760
Electrical problems
<font color="

369
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,520
people have skimped on maintenance.

370
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:40,720
This car's reliable
if you look after it.

371
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:43,360
You're a convert to this kind
of motoring.

372
00:25:43,360 --> 00:25:48,920
It's funny. Why get a car with hire
purchase then watch it depreciate?

373
00:25:48,920 --> 00:25:52,240
Sure.
<font color="

374
00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:57,560
But with thought, it is as reliable
as something ten years younger.

375
00:25:57,560 --> 00:26:02,360
If someone stuffs it, or it
gets nicked, I buy another one.

376
00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:08,640
You need to know what you're doing
if you go in for £100 motoring.

377
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,680
A bit more will get you a good car.

378
00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:18,520
<font color="
power steering, electric mirrors,

379
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,280
and even a factory sunroof.

380
00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,280
Look at this!

381
00:26:23,280 --> 00:26:28,240
£450, and that's from a dealer.
It might be cheaper at auction.

382
00:26:28,240 --> 00:26:31,000
But it's not an old nail.

383
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:35,840
90,000 miles, some service history,
<font color="

384
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:40,720
You can pick up these cars cheap
because they have time bombs -

385
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:45,600
repairs that may cost you more
than the car's worth.

386
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:50,960
Modern cars have onboard computers,
and if they crash, you've had it.

387
00:26:52,920 --> 00:26:54,400
You'd be better off
<font color="

388
00:26:56,440 --> 00:26:59,880
Some experts would say,
"Avoid time bombs."

389
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:01,120
But think about it.

390
00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:06,320
Go in with your eyes open,
run it for a year - cheap motoring.

391
00:27:06,320 --> 00:27:11,440
When it goes bang, don't cry -
chuck it away and get another one!

392
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,720
<font color="

393
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:17,920
It's £450! True. £450.

394
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:23,040
I've got a 13-year-old Volvo,
done 160,000 miles, I paid £900.

395
00:27:23,040 --> 00:27:26,120
When it goes pop,
I'll chuck it away.

396
00:27:26,120 --> 00:27:29,040
You won't pull in these cars.

397
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:34,880
<font color="
for a service on a new car. True.

398
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:38,760
You can get through Christmas
without an Astra,

399
00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:42,120
but you can't do it without Bond.

400
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:47,720
GUNSHOTS

401
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:52,120
Get the feeling they don't like me?
Oh!

402
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,360
<font color="

403
00:28:04,360 --> 00:28:08,440
MUSIC: "James Bond" theme

404
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,360
Did you see that?
What?

405
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:19,800
That fish. Yes.
How did it get in the car

406
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,680
without Barbara Bach
and Roger Moore drowning?

407
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,640
Good point.
<font color="

408
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,600
The hole's big enough for a fish...

409
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,120
Water.
Water. Lots of it.

410
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:39,040
We showed that clip because we want
to show how old the Lotus Esprit is.

411
00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:43,960
27 years! It's a quarter as old
as the motorcar itself.

412
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:49,560
<font color="
when kipper ties were popular.

413
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,920
I wondered. Kipper ties -
it went through that,

414
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:57,320
through the '70s tie,
through the Reckless Eric.

415
00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:02,440
It did the Elvis Costello,
and is now in today's Windsor knot!

416
00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:05,640
<font color="
Brilliant.

417
00:29:05,640 --> 00:29:08,640
I can't think of anything else
from 1975

418
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,920
that looks half as good as this.

419
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:17,040

Don't let me go

420
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:18,880


421
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:24,960

and I think that you know...

422
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:29,480
<font color="
'70s about a Lotus Esprit today

423
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,000
is the price.

424
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,800
At £50,000,
it's half as much as a Ferrari 360.

425
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,480
But don't think
it's half the car.

426
00:29:39,480 --> 00:29:43,640
It's kept up with the game
by constantly reinventing itself.

427
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:50,080
<font color="
four-cylinder engine,

428
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:54,000
it's got a 3.5-litre V8,
with a couple of turbos.

429
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:55,520
Old-timer it may be,

430
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:58,720
but it can still put its fingers
in its belt buckles

431
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:02,520
and headbang
like when it was a teenager.

432
00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:05,400
<font color="
your father dance, either.

433
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:07,040
It's quite good at it.

434
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:26,680
The Esprit offers 266bhp per tonne,

435
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:30,040
and that's more
than a Mercedes SL55,

436
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:34,000
or a Porsche 911,
or even a Ferrari 456.

437
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,080
It's like North Korea -
<font color="

438
00:30:38,080 --> 00:30:43,840
What this means is
it will do 0-60 in 4.8 seconds.

439
00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,720
Flat out, it will hit 175mph.

440
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,640
It's still a very, very fast car.

441
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:55,920
And not just in a straight line,
either.

442
00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:59,760
Through the corners,
it feels sublime.

443
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:03,840
<font color="
to tell you you're nearing the edge,

444
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:08,440
then a glorious adrenaline rush
as the tail slides wide.

445
00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,920
It is beautifully balanced.

446
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,600
The one area where they can't hide
its age is in here.

447
00:31:23,600 --> 00:31:28,320
This car is from a time
<font color="

448
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:31,920
You get a simian driving position.

449
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:37,120
They've tried to improve it with
different dashboards and seats,

450
00:31:37,120 --> 00:31:40,800
but that's like rearranging
the furniture in a small flat.

451
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,280
It's still a small flat.

452
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:57,800
A lack of space is nothing compared
<font color="

453
00:31:57,800 --> 00:31:59,640
its gearbox.

454
00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,960
Changing gear in a car like this
should be like

455
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:10,960
stroking a recently-washed dog,
but it's like stroking a crocodile.

456
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:14,320
It's all notchy and scaly
and eurghh.

457
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:15,560
Hopeless.

458
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:20,120
<font color="

459
00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,920
Almost, but not quite.

460
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:27,360
The fact is,
I'm hugely fond of the Esprit.

461
00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:31,040
Always have been,
and I always will be.

462
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,320
TYRES SCREECH

463
00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:38,320
So you love the Esprit.

464
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:43,760
<font color="
thing, because the gearbox

465
00:32:43,760 --> 00:32:46,640
is likely to be the thing
that kills it.

466
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,840
It's from a Renault 25,
which is no longer made.

467
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,120
They're basically running out.

468
00:32:53,120 --> 00:32:56,200
They can't make their own gearboxes,

469
00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,600
<font color="
a year? Half. Exactly.

470
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:03,480
If that kills it, it's a real shame.

471
00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:07,880
If you ask someone of our age
to draw a super car,

472
00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,960
that's what they'll draw.

473
00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:15,160
It's the perfect super car shape,
<font color="

474
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:18,920
I love them! As a kid, all I wanted
was a car with pop...

475
00:33:18,920 --> 00:33:24,280
Do you know how many cars today
are made with pop-up headlamps?

476
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:28,840
This and one other. Anyone
want to guess the other? RX7?

477
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:33,840
<font color="
MX5 doesn't have them any more.

478
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:36,440
Porsches don't do them.

479
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,440
AUDIENCE MEMBER SHOUTS

480
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,440
What?

481
00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,400
The Ferrari 456!
Man from Coventry!

482
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:48,520
The Ferrari 456 is the other one.
We should have more pop-up lamps.

483
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:54,240
<font color="
it affects the aerodynamics.

484
00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,520
You shouldn't drive that fast
at night anyway.

485
00:33:56,520 --> 00:33:58,520
Exactly. Bring them back.

486
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:04,200
We've got one thing left to do
with this car - unfurl the Stig.

487
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:08,280
When we asked the Stig
<font color="

488
00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:11,680
he said he didn't like Lotuses
very much. I asked him why,

489
00:34:11,680 --> 00:34:14,400
but he just stomped about.

490
00:34:14,400 --> 00:34:19,120
We got him inside
by buying him a Moody Blues CD.

491
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:22,600


492
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:26,440


493
00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:29,960
<font color="
in a straight line.

494
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:34,160
It's also balanced in the corners.
Look!

495
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:37,080
What lets it down is the brakes.

496
00:34:38,480 --> 00:34:40,160
Not that he's using them.

497
00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:46,040


498
00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:49,640
For the first time in six weeks,
the track is dry.

499
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:56,440
<font color="
and ooh...across the line.

500
00:34:56,440 --> 00:35:02,160
The time is... ready?
Yep. One minute 32, which is...

501
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:06,800
That's quicker than my car!
That's a very, very good time.

502
00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:09,760
It's quicker than a whole load
of serious stuff.

503
00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:16,080
<font color="
degrees, so it was quite slippery.

504
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:20,600
Chilly. We should rejoice
in that amazing time.

505
00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,720
Aston, Ferrari, all of them.
Bless it!

506
00:35:24,720 --> 00:35:27,440
Bless it! When that thing
goes out of production,

507
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:32,080
<font color="

508
00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:36,960
CHOIR SINGS: "Adagio For Strings"
by Samuel Barber

509
00:35:55,000 --> 00:36:00,000
The news. We thought we'd look at
what to look forward to next year.

510
00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,000
There's a lot of super cars
to get excited about.

511
00:36:03,000 --> 00:36:07,160
That's an understatement!
<font color="

512
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:11,880
The best super car coming next year
has to be the Porsche Carrera GT.

513
00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:17,280
V10 engine, £250,000
but just look at it!

514
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,480
That's so beautiful.

515
00:36:19,480 --> 00:36:24,000
That's the most beautiful car
I've seen in a very, very,

516
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,400
<font color="

517
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:30,200
And the new Viper, the American
equivalent of a sports car

518
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:35,680
in the same way George Bush
is the equivalent of a president.

519
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:42,280
8.3-litre, 500 horsepower, and that
isn't enough. There's a new Bugatti

520
00:36:42,280 --> 00:36:45,360
coming out next year
<font color="

521
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:51,600
It's called the Veyron. How do you
get 1,000 horsepower into a car?

522
00:36:51,600 --> 00:36:56,880
There'll be 40 horses in the glove
box, 36 in the ashtray,

523
00:36:56,880 --> 00:37:00,840
a couple under... Neigh!
Dobbin's under the seat!

524
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:04,320
An astonishing amount of power.

525
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:08,560
<font color="
Boof! I'm dead! I accelerated...

526
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,480
Straight up a tree!
Dead.

527
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,920
Marginally closer to the real world
i's the McLaren Mercedes SLR.

528
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:19,360
I know it does look
a bit like an SL,

529
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:24,560
in fact a lot like an SL,
<font color="

530
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,440
It's got a V8, so it will be quick.

531
00:37:27,440 --> 00:37:32,920
It could be yours next year
for £250,000.

532
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,800
It's a bit like... A bit
like the SLR V8 supercharge,

533
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,440
but this one's got more power -
it's got 665bhp.

534
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,600
<font color="
in the world.

535
00:37:44,600 --> 00:37:48,400
0-60 in 3.5 seconds,
240mph top speed.

536
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:54,200
240? Where would you do that? It's
Swedish? You won't do it in Sweden!

537
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:57,560
You could do it here, on the M1.

538
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:02,920
<font color="
a lot of the time. M32's good. M27.

539
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,480
Any more ideas?

540
00:38:02,920 --> 00:38:05,480
AUDIENCE MURMURS

541
00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:11,320
M5? You can't go... Don't be stupid!
You can't go 240 on the M5!

542
00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,760
Don't be ridiculous!
<font color="

543
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:19,200
Where are we going now?
I know, Ascari. Another super car.

544
00:38:19,200 --> 00:38:23,640
We've got it in the studio.
This is the first one.

545
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:26,880
It's made in Banbury by a company
called Ascari,

546
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:29,360
which stands for
Anglo-Scottish Car Industries.

547
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:32,200
<font color="
was Anglo-Scottish.

548
00:38:32,200 --> 00:38:38,280
It's got a 5-litre V8 engine,
but I can't say where it's from.

549
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,320
It's a secret.
OK. Fair enough.

550
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:47,080
BMW X5 we had in the studio earlier.
Nice engines. Yeah, very nice.

551
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:49,240
<font color="

552
00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:55,280
What can we say about it? Many
British companies set themselves up,

553
00:38:55,280 --> 00:38:58,920
hoping to make these
low-volume sports cars.

554
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:04,280
There was Lee Francis, Jensen,
Marcos, Strathcarron...

555
00:39:04,280 --> 00:39:07,800
And they've all gone
out of business.

556
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:09,760
<font color="
the best of British.

557
00:39:09,760 --> 00:39:14,520
No, sorry! The best of luck,
fingers crossed.

558
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:18,800
But if you can't afford one of
the super cars, and there are lots,

559
00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:22,240
there are lots of sports cars
coming as well.

560
00:39:22,240 --> 00:39:26,760
Chrysler is launching
<font color="

561
00:39:26,760 --> 00:39:28,520
Here it is.

562
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:35,480
Underneath, it's a Mercedes SLK,
it's designed by a British person,

563
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:40,840
and it's been built in Germany.
It's a car America can be proud of.

564
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:46,200
We've got the new Mazda RX8.
£22,400, that's good value.

565
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,040
<font color="

566
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:53,320
The thing about those Wankel
engines, there was a problem.

567
00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:57,160
Something called the rotor tips
used to wear out too quickly.

568
00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:03,600
They've solved that. They're using
the hardest substance known to man.

569
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:09,080
<font color="
I'll tell you what it is.

570
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:12,720
It's Weetabix, bear with me on this,

571
00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:18,200
Weetabix that's been left in
the bowl and put in the dishwasher.

572
00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,680
Have you ever tried to get it off?

573
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:26,200
I've put 60 tonnes of TNT into
<font color="

574
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:30,200
blows the bowl to smithereens,
still stuck to the pieces.

575
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:33,480
That would do it.
It's the Mazda Weetabix.

576
00:40:33,480 --> 00:40:40,400
Are there any sensible cars coming
next year? I've got a list here.

577
00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:46,760
<font color="
a £50,000 150mph off-roader.

578
00:40:46,760 --> 00:40:50,680
Not sensible.
That's not sensible.

579
00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:54,800
Volkswagen, which, as we know,
means "people car,"

580
00:40:54,800 --> 00:40:58,280
they've made a £60,000 Fiton.
Sensible!

581
00:40:58,280 --> 00:41:03,200
The German economy's better
<font color="

582
00:41:03,200 --> 00:41:07,040
One sensible car -
the Vauxhall Signum.

583
00:41:07,040 --> 00:41:09,720
It's basically a Vectra...
Oh, I'm nodding off!

584
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,200
I'm coming back.

585
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:18,200
We mustn't be put off
by its Vectraness.

586
00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:24,560
It's not like a Zafira which is the
<font color="

587
00:41:24,560 --> 00:41:29,720
The ones in the back all move about
and recline. They're really clever.

588
00:41:29,720 --> 00:41:33,640
It will be the first car where
people will fight to go in the back.

589
00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,720
"No, no, you drive!

590
00:41:35,720 --> 00:41:41,680
"I'll sit back here." Tinted
<font color="

591
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:45,240
Here endeth the news.
No, it doesn't,

592
00:41:45,240 --> 00:41:49,520
because TVR, they launch a new car
every three weeks,

593
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:52,840
and they're all pretty much
the same. This is the T350C.

594
00:41:52,840 --> 00:41:59,800
Without looking, I know what I'm
<font color="

595
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,760
It'll have a glorious sounding
engine, and there'll be two seats.

596
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:04,720
And there it is!

597
00:42:04,720 --> 00:42:09,080
But it will be bought mainly
by track day enthusiasts.

598
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,120
People who'll thrash the bottom
off it on a Saturday

599
00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,760
<font color="

600
00:42:14,760 --> 00:42:17,360
It needs to be
a Jekyll and Hyde car.

601
00:42:17,360 --> 00:42:18,400
And that ain't easy.

602
00:42:28,520 --> 00:42:32,120
The new car uses TVR's
proven speed six engine.

603
00:42:32,120 --> 00:42:39,280
It's good for 350bhp and will take
the T350 to 60mph in 4.4 seconds.

604
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:43,440
<font color="
and that makes it stiffer.

605
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:47,480
And those curves were designed
with aerodynamics as top priority.

606
00:42:47,480 --> 00:42:52,640
All of which is good news,
both on the road and on the track.

607
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:57,600
Where it gets tricky is the set-up,
the suspense and the chassis,

608
00:42:57,600 --> 00:43:03,920
<font color="
kind of caper. Got to get it right.

609
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:07,680
This is a track,
covered in smooth, flat tarmac

610
00:43:07,680 --> 00:43:14,360
so you can set the suspension
as hard as you like for a quick lap.

611
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:19,320
But this is a British road, real
life, the Monday to Friday road.

612
00:43:19,320 --> 00:43:23,600
<font color="
and all garnished with ditches.

613
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,120
TVR brought the car and some
mechanics.

614
00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:32,640
We added the Stig
and helped set it up to his liking.

615
00:43:34,600 --> 00:43:38,640
MUSIC: Intro to "My Favourite Game"
by The Cardigans

616
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:44,400
<font color="
when it leaves the line.

617
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:50,520
And it corners dead flat, there's
absolutely no body roll at all.

618
00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:55,760
And it's very fast. It had
a good lap time of one minute 28.

619
00:43:55,760 --> 00:44:01,280
But in the process, he's made the
car twitchy, edgy, and Stig-like.

620
00:44:01,280 --> 00:44:03,120
<font color="

621
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:07,920
TYRES SCREECH

622
00:44:21,720 --> 00:44:25,920
And it gets worse when you
leave the track to drive home.

623
00:44:25,920 --> 00:44:31,800
The Stig should stick to driving
cars, not messing about with them.

624
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:36,680
This is absolutely awful
on the road!

625
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:41,120
It's so uncomfortable.
<font color="

626
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:46,360
I can't steer! I have no idea
which direction we're going in next.

627
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:48,160
It's just random.

628
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:55,600
So it's back to the pit, and Stig
is told to get a grip on real life

629
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,640
and help TVR set the 350 up
so that we can all use it.

630
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:10,800
<font color="
with slightly softer settings.

631
00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:19,200
Straightaway, you can see there's
more movement from the body,

632
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:20,800
more body roll through the corners.

633
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:26,920
Yes, the time is actually a second
slower, but it's still a good time.

634
00:45:26,920 --> 00:45:28,640
<font color="

635
00:45:31,040 --> 00:45:35,120
Out on the road, it's much better.
More usable and drivable.

636
00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:37,360
If anything, it's faster
in the real world.

637
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:40,960
We'll let TVR finish the job off,

638
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:43,920
but at least now they know
where the limit is.

639
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:54,320
<font color="
this car - think of a better name.

640
00:45:54,320 --> 00:46:00,640
T350C sounds like an iron.
Whatever it is, it has a plug on it.

641
00:46:00,640 --> 00:46:05,080
Whatever we come up with,
even if they call it T350C,

642
00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:07,120
we'll call it what we come up with.
That's fair.

643
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:11,560
<font color="
I've got a list

644
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:15,760
of some of the better ones
and they're all genuine, I promise.

645
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:21,120
The Mazda Bongo Friendy. Very chic.
How about this one?

646
00:46:21,120 --> 00:46:26,160
The Mitsubishi Mini Active
Urban Sandal.

647
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:30,240
<font color="
Or, this is the best of the lot.

648
00:46:30,240 --> 00:46:34,200
The Isuzu Mysterious Utility Wizard.

649
00:46:34,200 --> 00:46:37,080
What a superb name!

650
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,840
It's not just the Japanese, either.

651
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:44,840
In the '80s, Volkswagen launched a
version of their Mark 1 Golf.

652
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:50,840
Pink, white leather, they called it
<font color="

653
00:46:50,840 --> 00:46:56,160
We didn't get that one in the UK.
No. UK importers said no thanks.

654
00:46:56,160 --> 00:46:58,840
TVR have been good at names.

655
00:46:58,840 --> 00:47:02,640
They had the Cerbera,
a sort of dog thing.

656
00:47:02,640 --> 00:47:05,440
They had Chimera,
which is a she-goat.

657
00:47:05,440 --> 00:47:09,280
<font color="
the supreme god of everything.

658
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:13,920
And now they've come up with the
Microwave. We've got to do better.

659
00:47:13,920 --> 00:47:17,120
I've got the perfect idea. Ready?

660
00:47:17,120 --> 00:47:19,120
The Widow Maker.

661
00:47:19,120 --> 00:47:21,080
You can't call a car Widow Maker!

662
00:47:21,080 --> 00:47:24,320
I just have.
<font color="

663
00:47:24,320 --> 00:47:29,680
The Star fighter jet in the '60s
was called that. Pilots were killed,

664
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:34,320
and another one took their seat.
I know where you're going.

665
00:47:34,320 --> 00:47:40,720
A TVR Armageddon.
Anyone else got any ideas?

666
00:47:40,720 --> 00:47:43,720
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Poseidon.
<font color="

667
00:47:43,720 --> 00:47:46,120
What's it the god of?
The sea.

668
00:47:46,120 --> 00:47:49,000
The sea? Pertinent.

669
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,880
Anyone else. Thor! Thor!

670
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:55,480
God of thunder. TVR Thor.
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Harry Potter!

671
00:47:55,480 --> 00:47:58,360
<font color="

672
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:03,760
That's poor. He's a wizard.
The wizard, now it's a wizard.

673
00:48:03,760 --> 00:48:06,960
I like the TVR Harry Potter.

674
00:48:06,960 --> 00:48:10,960
There's something about it.
It's like the TVR Famous Five.

675
00:48:10,960 --> 00:48:13,600
Or the TVR Beatrix Potter.
Enid Blyton.

676
00:48:13,600 --> 00:48:17,600
<font color="
We could go on forever.

677
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:23,640
It's the Paddington Bear! But,
if I can't call it Widow Maker,

678
00:48:23,640 --> 00:48:27,640
how about the TVR Valhalla?

679
00:48:27,640 --> 00:48:31,440
Yeah, wasn't that where the
Vikings...? In fact, I've decided.

680
00:48:31,440 --> 00:48:35,800
I've decided,
<font color="

681
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:38,960
but this is, whatever TVR call it,
the Valhalla.

682
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:42,360
That's it. That's where the Vikings
hung out when they were dead.

683
00:48:42,360 --> 00:48:44,920
Yeah, dead Viking burial ground.

684
00:48:44,920 --> 00:48:48,880
No point arguing. Fair enough.
We've sorted it.

685
00:48:48,880 --> 00:48:53,720
<font color="
coming of our fastest faiths.

686
00:48:53,720 --> 00:48:57,440
We'll see if our chaps were quicker
than the Church Of England.

687
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,400
As with our previous
fastest faith shoot-out,

688
00:49:02,400 --> 00:49:08,080
the race will be run
in a 340bhp Subaru rally car.

689
00:49:08,080 --> 00:49:13,160
<font color="
remain the kings of the track?

690
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:18,040
First to go, Tariq the Muslim.

691
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:19,480
Go!

692
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,120
Tariq was doing really well,

693
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:40,800
but then the druid summoned up
the ancient gods of oversteer.

694
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,400
Do you score extra for doughnuts?

695
00:49:55,000 --> 00:49:57,960
<font color="
to finish the lap.

696
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:04,520
Four tyres screeching.

697
00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,120
You'd never know!

698
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,840
It is a difficult braking point
over there.

699
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:12,440
There's no mark there for you.
Exactly.

700
00:50:15,160 --> 00:50:20,320
Next, Arthur Pendragon, member of
<font color="

701
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:25,920
priest of Merlin and the Horned God,
battle chieftain,

702
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,480
and a Morris Oxford driver.

703
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:35,040
My Peugeot 1.9D doesn't sound
like that. Let's hope not.

704
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,040
It's 0-60 in ten minutes.

705
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,040
LAUGHTER

706
00:50:39,240 --> 00:50:44,440
<font color="
for him, the druid had a tidy lap.

707
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:47,960
How did he get round there
so quick? That's magic.

708
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:56,360
Gary the Seventh Day Adventist
was next,

709
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,280
but yet again the druid had struck.

710
00:50:58,280 --> 00:51:01,080
<font color="

711
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:06,120


712
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:12,720
I can do it!

713
00:51:12,720 --> 00:51:14,600
It's not going to happen.

714
00:51:15,880 --> 00:51:17,160
Any suggestions?

715
00:51:19,360 --> 00:51:22,920
Why don't you come round with me
and we'll do it together?

716
00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:25,200
Like a co-driver?

717
00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:33,480
<font color="
I'm too manly, thank you.

718
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:36,320
I'm too big for the car.

719
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:41,080
That left Olivi the Rastafarian,
who called on the spirit of Jah.

720
00:51:41,080 --> 00:51:44,120
Yes, Jah, almighty,
bless the carriage.

721
00:51:44,120 --> 00:51:46,600
And by now,
<font color="

722
00:51:58,720 --> 00:52:01,800
And at last, a proper rival
to the current champion

723
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:03,480
from the Church Of England.

724
00:52:03,480 --> 00:52:07,720
Like him,
Olivi's an amateur weekend racer.

725
00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:10,640
And it showed.

726
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:20,440
Superstars, one and all.
What a complete tragedy.

727
00:52:20,440 --> 00:52:25,080
<font color="
the feeling, all cars are too small.

728
00:52:25,080 --> 00:52:30,520
I don't know that feeling.
It's not one I suffer from.

729
00:52:30,520 --> 00:52:35,640
Why do I have to stand here? Let's
do the results. In reverse order,

730
00:52:35,640 --> 00:52:40,880
<font color="
you couldn't get in the car. OK.

731
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:45,160
You scored a time of, so far,
four hours. All right.

732
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:47,240
Third place, King Arthur,

733
00:52:47,240 --> 00:52:51,720
kind of predictably, really,
with a time of one minute 48.

734
00:52:51,720 --> 00:52:55,960
<font color="
with one minute 41.

735
00:52:55,960 --> 00:53:01,760
The big question is, we know at
this point the Rastafarian has won,

736
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:09,320
but the big question is, have you
beaten the Church Of England?

737
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:13,760
They did it in one minute,
37 seconds, faster than all of you.

738
00:53:13,760 --> 00:53:19,440
<font color="
31 seconds.

739
00:53:19,440 --> 00:53:21,400
CHEERING AND WHISTLING

740
00:53:24,200 --> 00:53:25,800
That is fantastic!

741
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:27,640
That's only...

742
00:53:27,640 --> 00:53:30,720
That is only...

743
00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:33,840
Well, it's less than two seconds
off the pace set by the Stig.

744
00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:35,520
An unbelievable performance.

745
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:39,760
<font color="
There you are, the fastest faith.

746
00:53:39,760 --> 00:53:41,800
Thank you.

747
00:53:41,800 --> 00:53:43,840
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

748
00:53:49,520 --> 00:53:52,360
Well, it's the fastest faith

749
00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,520
unless we can find a smaller
Seventh Day Adventist

750
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,720
or a bigger car!
Yep.

751
00:53:57,720 --> 00:54:01,640
<font color="
in a reasonably priced car.

752
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:04,080
We've done that throughout
the series.

753
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:06,640
And they've been a mixed bag.

754
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:08,360
Harry Enfield!

755
00:54:08,360 --> 00:54:12,040
Don't die. Ready, steady, go.

756
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:15,040
Trying to skid.
I've got to 30mph.

757
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:16,800
<font color="

758
00:54:16,800 --> 00:54:19,760
I lost control.

759
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:23,960
Jamiroquai frontman Jay Kay!

760
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,680
Don't be punished, don't be tempted
to put too much power on.

761
00:54:27,680 --> 00:54:30,000
That's beautiful.

762
00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,400
Ross Kemp!

763
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:47,720
Rubbish!

764
00:54:47,720 --> 00:54:51,160
I hate you so much, Clarkson,
<font color="

765
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:53,240
Jonathan Ross!

766
00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:55,840
Oh, look at that magnificent turn!

767
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:58,800
I think I need to go round the end.

768
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,640
You look ridiculous!

769
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,160
I look like a Star Trek fan.

770
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:15,240
You're lucky I'm still alive.

771
00:55:15,240 --> 00:55:17,080
Do you think I care?
<font color="

772
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:19,640
Who'd like to see
some of the practices he had?

773
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:27,600
I thought it might be faster.

774
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:29,160
Steve Coogan!

775
00:55:30,840 --> 00:55:32,800
I'm glad I cleaned my teeth.

776
00:55:32,800 --> 00:55:35,960
There's a gradual build-up
of terror.

777
00:55:37,120 --> 00:55:38,440
That's quite neat.

778
00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:46,480
<font color="
be so angry. I beat Ross Kemp!

779
00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:48,440
Tara Palmer-Tompkinson.

780
00:55:48,440 --> 00:55:52,200
I'm coming up to Harvey Nichols
and it's about to close.

781
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,840
The last thing you want...

782
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,440
Sexy man on the street, wave to him.

783
00:55:59,720 --> 00:56:04,760
<font color="
are there so you go,

784
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:06,840
"Bump, bump, bump, in."

785
00:56:06,840 --> 00:56:09,640
From Status Quo, Rick Parfitt!

786
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:11,280
Oh, no!

787
00:56:12,400 --> 00:56:14,720
Beautiful, oh, there's more.

788
00:56:14,720 --> 00:56:17,840
Probably broke wind.
Back on.

789
00:56:22,760 --> 00:56:24,560
Across the line sideways.

790
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:27,600
<font color="

791
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:31,960
You do look quite scared.

792
00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:35,280
Tyres, stop!

793
00:56:36,920 --> 00:56:38,760
You were very close
to the tyres there.

794
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:40,120
You're supposed to be.

795
00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:42,040
You're off the...

796
00:56:44,240 --> 00:56:46,680
Woo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

797
00:56:51,400 --> 00:56:53,160
Gordon Ramsey.

798
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:55,560
<font color="

799
00:56:57,360 --> 00:56:58,920
That tastes of petrol.

800
00:57:01,040 --> 00:57:04,480
That was done on the Subaru
Forrester engine, a good base.

801
00:57:10,440 --> 00:57:17,760
Now, a mixture of poise, precision,
and Harry Enfield there.

802
00:57:17,760 --> 00:57:22,920
Now it's time to award the prize to
the fastest celebrity of the series.

803
00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:25,840
<font color="

804
00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:29,720
Jay Kay with 1.48,
and he's here, everybody!

805
00:57:29,720 --> 00:57:31,520
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

806
00:57:34,120 --> 00:57:36,440
Well done!

807
00:57:36,440 --> 00:57:40,440
God. And there it is. God.

808
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:43,280
What can I say?
I apologise for the broken end.

809
00:57:43,280 --> 00:57:46,360
<font color="
pushed the boat out.

810
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:51,840
Would you like to make a speech? A
Tom Hanks acceptance style speech.

811
00:57:51,840 --> 00:57:56,760
I'd just like to say it's one of
the greatest days of my life

812
00:57:56,760 --> 00:58:02,200
to get this award. No Brit award
or Grammy could come close to that.

813
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:07,160
<font color="
God, Mum. Thank you very much.

814
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,200
Fantastic!

815
00:58:12,880 --> 00:58:18,880
That's all we've got time for.
We'll be back in the spring.

816
00:58:18,880 --> 00:58:22,880
In the meantime,
have a happy holiday. Goodbye!

817
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,040
Wave, Stig, wave!