1
00:00:01,433 --> 00:00:02,833
Went out to dinner
the other night.
2
00:00:02,866 --> 00:00:05,200
Check came at the end
of the meal, as it always does.
3
00:00:05,233 --> 00:00:08,366
Never liked the "check
at the end of the meal" system,
4
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:09,900
because money's
a very different thing
5
00:00:09,933 --> 00:00:10,900
before and after you eat.
6
00:00:10,933 --> 00:00:12,533
Before you eat,
money has no value.
7
00:00:12,566 --> 00:00:14,733
You don't care about money
when you're hungry.
8
00:00:14,766 --> 00:00:15,966
You sit down in a restaurant
9
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,533
and you're like the ruler
of an empire--
10
00:00:17,566 --> 00:00:18,900
More drinks!
11
00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:20,533
Appetizers!
12
00:00:20,566 --> 00:00:22,700
Quickly, quickly.
13
00:00:22,733 --> 00:00:26,400
It will be the greatest meal
of our lives.
14
00:00:26,433 --> 00:00:28,666
Then after the meal, you know,
15
00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:30,000
you got the pants open,
you got the napkins destroyed,
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,200
you got the pants open,
you got the napkins destroyed,
17
00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:35,333
cigarette butt
in the mashed potatoes.
18
00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:38,166
Then the check comes
at that moment.
19
00:00:38,200 --> 00:00:40,866
People are always upset,
you know.
20
00:00:40,900 --> 00:00:43,500
They're mystified by the check.
They're...
21
00:00:43,533 --> 00:00:47,166
"What is this?
22
00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:48,666
How could this be?"
23
00:00:48,700 --> 00:00:51,000
They start passing it
around the table.
24
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:54,333
"Does this look right to you?
25
00:00:54,366 --> 00:00:55,833
"We're not hungry now.
26
00:00:55,866 --> 00:00:58,100
Why are we buying
all this food?"
27
00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:04,233
Well, I think Superman
28
00:01:04,266 --> 00:01:06,866
probably has
a very good sense of humor.
29
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,733
I never heard him say
anything really funny.
30
00:01:09,766 --> 00:01:11,366
But it's common sense.
31
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:13,666
He's got super strength,
super speed.
32
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,866
I'm sure he's got super humor.
33
00:01:15,900 --> 00:01:17,800
You'd think that, but...
34
00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:20,000
either you're born with
a sense of humor or you're not.
35
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:21,166
It's not gonna change.
36
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:23,166
Even if you go from
the red sun of Krypton
37
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,666
all the way
to the yellow sun
38
00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:25,666
of the Earth...
39
00:01:25,700 --> 00:01:26,666
Ehh...
40
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,666
Why?
41
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,666
Why would that one area
of his mind
42
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:30,477
not be affected
by the yellow sun of the Earth?
43
00:01:30,477 --> 00:01:33,200
not be affected
by the yellow sun of the Earth?
44
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:35,333
I don't know.
But he ain't funny.
45
00:01:36,533 --> 00:01:40,000
Hi. I know, I know.
I'm sorry I'm late.
46
00:01:40,033 --> 00:01:41,333
No problem.
47
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:43,066
Whew.
48
00:01:43,100 --> 00:01:44,533
I dropped a grape.
49
00:01:44,566 --> 00:01:45,666
Pardon?
50
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,500
I dropped a grape
in the kitchen,
51
00:01:47,533 --> 00:01:49,133
and it disappeared.
52
00:01:49,166 --> 00:01:50,466
I couldn't find it.
53
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:53,300
I was literally
on my knees for 10 minutes
54
00:01:53,333 --> 00:01:55,100
looking for
this stupid grape.
55
00:01:57,033 --> 00:01:59,200
I have no idea
where it went.
56
00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:00,333
[SNIFFS]
57
00:02:00,366 --> 00:02:00,477
Were you crying? I mean,
it's just a grape.
58
00:02:00,477 --> 00:02:03,700
Were you crying? I mean,
it's just a grape.
59
00:02:03,733 --> 00:02:05,200
You'll find it.
60
00:02:05,233 --> 00:02:07,866
No. I'm just getting over
an allergy attack.
61
00:02:07,900 --> 00:02:10,300
This guy I'm going out with--
Robert.
62
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,600
Robert.
Yes. Thank you.
63
00:02:14,766 --> 00:02:18,200
He has two cats,
and I'm allergic to them.
64
00:02:18,233 --> 00:02:22,366
You know, I finally meet
a normal man,
65
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:25,366
and I can't even go
into his apartment, you know?
66
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,033
And of course my apartment
is The Actors' Studio,
67
00:02:28,066 --> 00:02:29,733
so we can't go there.
68
00:02:29,766 --> 00:02:30,477
It's really causing
a lot of problems, you know?
69
00:02:30,477 --> 00:02:31,866
It's really causing
a lot of problems, you know?
70
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:33,533
He won't even go away
for the weekend
71
00:02:33,566 --> 00:02:34,866
because of these cats.
72
00:02:34,900 --> 00:02:37,700
Guys with cats...
I don't know.
73
00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:38,833
I've been thinking
74
00:02:38,866 --> 00:02:41,066
about asking this girl
I'm seeing--
75
00:02:41,100 --> 00:02:43,233
Vanessa?
76
00:02:43,266 --> 00:02:44,733
Vanessa. Thank you.
77
00:02:44,766 --> 00:02:46,533
I've been thinking
about asking her
78
00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:49,200
to go away
for a couple days.
79
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,733
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.
I'd have to advise against that.
80
00:02:51,766 --> 00:02:54,033
What do you know this woman,
a month?
81
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:55,633
You're gonna be with her
for 72 hours.
82
00:02:55,666 --> 00:02:57,533
That's a dating decathlon.
83
00:02:57,566 --> 00:02:59,033
Hey, why don't you
take her
84
00:02:59,066 --> 00:03:00,477
to that place in Vermont
I was telling you about?
85
00:03:00,477 --> 00:03:01,033
to that place in Vermont
I was telling you about?
86
00:03:01,066 --> 00:03:02,866
You know,
that really charming place
87
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:07,000
with separate faucets
for the hot and cold.
88
00:03:07,033 --> 00:03:08,233
She'll love it.
89
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:10,866
That's exquisite.
90
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,333
Listen, if it's not
too much trouble,
91
00:03:12,366 --> 00:03:15,133
could you pass me
that paper over there?
92
00:03:15,166 --> 00:03:17,066
Just the business
section is good.
93
00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,466
You'd better
find that grape
94
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,500
before it mutates
95
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:20,666
into another
life form.
96
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,833
[CHUCKLES]
97
00:03:21,866 --> 00:03:23,500
There was once
a mutant grape
98
00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:25,866
that terrorized
an entire town
99
00:03:25,900 --> 00:03:27,066
in the Texas panhandle.
100
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,633
They brought in the Army.
101
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:30,477
Nobody could stop it.
102
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:30,633
Nobody could stop it.
103
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:33,200
Apparently,
it had a pit of steel.
104
00:03:35,233 --> 00:03:36,500
Up again.
105
00:03:36,533 --> 00:03:39,166
This is incredible.
I'm-- I'm getting it.
106
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:40,200
You're getting what?
107
00:03:40,233 --> 00:03:41,366
A stock.
108
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:42,466
What stock?
109
00:03:42,500 --> 00:03:43,833
Did you ever meet
my friend, Simons?
110
00:03:43,866 --> 00:03:45,533
Maybe.
111
00:03:45,566 --> 00:03:46,666
He know this guy, Wilkenson.
112
00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:48,366
He made a fortune
in the stock market.
113
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:49,700
Now he's got some new thing,
114
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:51,733
you know, it's supposed
to be a big merger.
115
00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:53,500
I wasn't even supposed
to say anything.
116
00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,133
You guys should think
about doing this too.
117
00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,000
How high is it
supposed to go?
118
00:03:57,033 --> 00:03:58,200
I don't know, but Simons said
119
00:03:58,233 --> 00:03:59,633
that if I wanted
to get involved,
120
00:03:59,666 --> 00:04:00,477
that Wilkenson would tell me
the exact right minute to sell.
121
00:04:00,477 --> 00:04:02,233
that Wilkenson would tell me
the exact right minute to sell.
122
00:04:02,266 --> 00:04:03,233
You want to do it?
123
00:04:03,266 --> 00:04:04,366
Boy, I don't know.
124
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,200
I'd do it, but I don't
have any money.
125
00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:07,400
What kind of
company is it?
126
00:04:07,433 --> 00:04:09,066
It's called Centrax.
127
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,966
They've got
some new kind of new technique
128
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:13,200
for televising
opera.
129
00:04:13,233 --> 00:04:14,200
Televising opera?
130
00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:16,966
Some sort of electronic thingy.
131
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,366
Well, how much
are you gonna invest?
132
00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,500
Five thousand.
133
00:04:19,533 --> 00:04:21,966
Ten. Ten thousand.
134
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,566
Five thousand.
135
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:26,633
Boy.
Come on.
136
00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,133
Wilkenson's got millions
invested in this stock.
137
00:04:29,166 --> 00:04:30,477
It's gone up three points
since I've been watching it.
138
00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:31,633
It's gone up three points
since I've been watching it.
139
00:04:31,666 --> 00:04:32,800
What if I lose it?
140
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:33,800
Come on.
141
00:04:33,833 --> 00:04:35,333
Go for 2500.
142
00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:37,000
We'll do it together.
Come on, come on.
143
00:04:37,033 --> 00:04:39,133
We're in it
together.
144
00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:40,866
All right, 2500.
145
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:42,166
That's it.
146
00:04:42,200 --> 00:04:44,366
Yeah, can I take
your order?
147
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:46,500
I will check
to the raiser.
148
00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:48,400
My bet? All right.
149
00:04:48,433 --> 00:04:50,200
I'll open with...
150
00:04:50,233 --> 00:04:51,633
a tuna sandwich.
151
00:04:51,666 --> 00:04:52,700
Tuna?
152
00:04:52,733 --> 00:04:54,900
Oh, the dolphin thing?
153
00:04:54,933 --> 00:04:57,533
They're dying
in the nets.
154
00:04:57,566 --> 00:04:59,233
You know, the whole
concept of lunch
155
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:00,477
is based on tuna.
156
00:05:00,477 --> 00:05:00,533
is based on tuna.
157
00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:01,566
But, Jerry,
158
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:03,833
can't you incorporate
one unselfish act
159
00:05:03,866 --> 00:05:05,066
in your daily routine?
160
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,066
Hey, when I'm driving,
161
00:05:06,100 --> 00:05:07,500
I let people in
ahead of me
162
00:05:07,533 --> 00:05:08,566
all the time.
163
00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,200
I'm always waving
everybody in.
164
00:05:10,233 --> 00:05:12,133
Go ahead, go ahead,
165
00:05:12,166 --> 00:05:13,700
go ahead.
166
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:17,366
All right, all right,
I'll have the chicken salad.
167
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:20,533
Um, and I'm gonna have
an English muffin
168
00:05:20,566 --> 00:05:22,133
with margarine
on the side
169
00:05:22,166 --> 00:05:23,366
and a cup of coffee.
170
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,366
Okay,
what about you?
171
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,000
I'll have the tuna.
172
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,466
I have to say,
173
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:36,700
those people talking behind us
really ruined that movie for me.
174
00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:38,866
Why didn't you do something?
175
00:05:38,900 --> 00:05:41,066
What do you want me to do?
176
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:43,266
I gave the guy the half turn...
177
00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:47,200
Then I gave him the full turn
with the eye roll...
178
00:05:48,400 --> 00:05:49,633
I mean, beyond that,
179
00:05:49,666 --> 00:05:52,733
I'm risking a punch
in the mouth.
180
00:05:52,766 --> 00:05:55,966
Excuse me,
do you have these in the puffs?
181
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,066
No puffs,
just flakes.
182
00:06:00,700 --> 00:06:02,833
Have you thought any more
about that trip?
183
00:06:02,866 --> 00:06:04,500
Yeah, I've been
thinking about it.
184
00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:06,500
You know, my friend told me
about this great place
185
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:07,533
in Vermont.
186
00:06:07,566 --> 00:06:08,633
I don't know.
187
00:06:08,666 --> 00:06:10,333
I just worry about
trips like this.
188
00:06:10,366 --> 00:06:11,900
It's a lot
of pressure.
189
00:06:11,933 --> 00:06:13,900
It's great.
It speeds up the intimacy level.
190
00:06:13,933 --> 00:06:15,400
It's like putting
the relationship
191
00:06:15,433 --> 00:06:16,866
in a time compressor.
192
00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:19,466
Where we would be
six months from now,
193
00:06:19,500 --> 00:06:20,733
we accomplish in three days.
194
00:06:20,766 --> 00:06:23,066
Oh... so you want
to move our relationship
195
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,400
into phase two.
196
00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:25,400
Exactly.
197
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:28,000
I love phase two.
198
00:06:28,033 --> 00:06:29,633
Extra toothbrushes,
199
00:06:29,666 --> 00:06:30,477
increased phone call frequency,
200
00:06:30,477 --> 00:06:32,000
increased phone call frequency,
201
00:06:32,033 --> 00:06:34,866
walking around naked.
202
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,333
You know,
the presents get a lot better
203
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:40,666
in phase two.
204
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:42,133
Really?
205
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,200
Can we go fishing
up there?
206
00:06:44,233 --> 00:06:47,866
Yeah, we can fish.
What, blues, carp...marlin?
207
00:06:49,233 --> 00:06:50,566
They have marlin in Vermont?
208
00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:53,000
Oh, big fighting marlin.
209
00:06:58,166 --> 00:07:00,133
Jerry, the stock
is the same
210
00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:00,477
as when you checked it
earlier.
211
00:07:00,477 --> 00:07:01,400
as when you checked it
earlier.
212
00:07:01,433 --> 00:07:02,633
There are no changes
213
00:07:02,666 --> 00:07:03,800
after the market
closes.
214
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:04,833
The stock
is still down.
215
00:07:04,866 --> 00:07:06,466
I know,
but this is a different paper.
216
00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:10,333
I thought maybe they have
different...sources.
217
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:18,533
[IMITATES CAR ENGINE]
218
00:07:22,666 --> 00:07:23,966
Is that my paper?
219
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,900
Bad news, my friend.
220
00:07:25,933 --> 00:07:26,900
What? What news?
221
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:27,900
Centrax.
222
00:07:27,933 --> 00:07:30,066
Oh, come on, it's down again?
223
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:30,477
Two and a half points.
224
00:07:30,477 --> 00:07:31,500
Two and a half points.
225
00:07:31,533 --> 00:07:33,233
Oh, I can't
believe it.
226
00:07:33,266 --> 00:07:34,200
Let me see that.
227
00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:40,566
That's four and a half points
in three days.
228
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:41,566
That's almost half my money.
229
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,966
Hey, I told you.
230
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,233
Yeah, you told me.
231
00:07:44,266 --> 00:07:46,233
It's all manipulated
with junk bonds.
232
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,566
You can't win.
233
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:50,400
H...
234
00:07:50,433 --> 00:07:52,633
There's one thing
I don't understand.
235
00:07:52,666 --> 00:07:55,800
Why does it please you?
George Costanza, please.
236
00:07:55,833 --> 00:07:58,733
I'm just telling you
to get rid of that stock now!
237
00:07:58,766 --> 00:08:00,133
George, what's going on?
238
00:08:00,166 --> 00:08:00,477
Sell it!
239
00:08:00,477 --> 00:08:01,133
Sell it!
240
00:08:01,166 --> 00:08:03,133
Just say, "I'm selling."
241
00:08:03,166 --> 00:08:04,566
Well, where is the guy?
242
00:08:06,400 --> 00:08:07,400
Nothing?
243
00:08:07,433 --> 00:08:10,133
Almost half my money
is gone.
244
00:08:10,166 --> 00:08:11,566
Well, call me
right back.
245
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,900
Nobody can reach Wilkenson.
246
00:08:13,933 --> 00:08:15,700
He hasn't been home
or in his office
247
00:08:15,733 --> 00:08:16,866
in the past three days.
248
00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:18,000
You know, I can't believe
249
00:08:18,033 --> 00:08:19,566
you put your money
in that Centrax.
250
00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,033
You could have invested
in my roll-out tie dispenser.
251
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:25,900
The roll-out tie dispenser...
252
00:08:25,933 --> 00:08:27,000
What was that one?
253
00:08:27,033 --> 00:08:28,400
Okay, you're in a restaurant.
254
00:08:28,433 --> 00:08:30,466
You've got a very big meeting
coming up.
255
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:31,533
Okay.
256
00:08:31,566 --> 00:08:34,633
Oh, man,
you've got mustard on your tie.
257
00:08:34,666 --> 00:08:35,966
Oh, no.
258
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,466
You just...ksh,
tear it off,
259
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,966
and...vvvvt, you've got
a new one right here, huh?
260
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,700
And then...you're gone.
261
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,566
You're gone, all right.
262
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,166
Hey, where are you going?
263
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:53,366
You gonna take a trip?
The-- With the map...
264
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:55,166
Yeah, I'm going to Vermont
with Vanessa
265
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,166
for a few days.
266
00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,000
Hey, can I use your place?
267
00:08:58,033 --> 00:09:00,233
I've got a bunch of friends
coming over this weekend.
268
00:09:00,266 --> 00:09:00,477
What friends?
269
00:09:00,477 --> 00:09:01,633
What friends?
270
00:09:01,666 --> 00:09:03,333
Well,
it's just some people I met
271
00:09:03,366 --> 00:09:05,833
at a rock concert.
272
00:09:05,866 --> 00:09:07,566
Do you mind
if they use your bed?
273
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:09,200
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
274
00:09:11,566 --> 00:09:13,000
Because they're
really good people, Jerry.
275
00:09:13,033 --> 00:09:14,733
I'm telling you, you know,
they're anarchists.
276
00:09:14,766 --> 00:09:16,500
They're-- They're--
They're huge.
277
00:09:16,533 --> 00:09:17,633
Yeah.
278
00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:20,866
George, what?
279
00:09:20,900 --> 00:09:22,700
You're kidding.
280
00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:24,700
Well, what's wrong?
281
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:27,066
So, what are we
gonna do?
282
00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:30,477
Great. All right,
I'll speak to you later.
283
00:09:30,477 --> 00:09:30,700
Great. All right,
I'll speak to you later.
284
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:33,133
Wilkenson, the guy
285
00:09:33,166 --> 00:09:34,300
who's supposed
to tell us
286
00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:35,400
when to sell
the stock,
287
00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:36,666
he's in the hospital.
288
00:09:44,819 --> 00:09:46,785
JERRY:
You don't know what's wrong
with him?
289
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,385
GEORGE: All Simons
was able to find out
290
00:09:48,419 --> 00:09:49,552
is that he's
in the hospital.
291
00:09:51,319 --> 00:09:52,319
Okay, fine.
292
00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:53,952
Has Simons been in touch
with him?
293
00:09:53,985 --> 00:09:55,685
Of course he's been
in touch with him.
294
00:09:55,719 --> 00:09:57,319
He left two messages.
295
00:09:57,352 --> 00:09:59,719
He...just hasn't heard
back yet, that's all.
296
00:09:59,752 --> 00:10:01,285
Well, this is it. I'm selling.
297
00:10:01,319 --> 00:10:03,885
All right, just-- Just give it
a little more time.
298
00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:05,885
I never should have
gotten involved in this.
299
00:10:05,919 --> 00:10:08,719
I'm a nervous wreck.
I'm not cut out for investing.
300
00:10:08,752 --> 00:10:10,519
All right, that's it.
I'm gonna go down there.
301
00:10:10,552 --> 00:10:11,652
Where?
302
00:10:11,685 --> 00:10:12,791
To the hospital.
303
00:10:12,791 --> 00:10:13,152
To the hospital.
304
00:10:13,185 --> 00:10:14,519
The hospital?
305
00:10:14,552 --> 00:10:16,485
I'm gonna find out
what's going on, all right?
306
00:10:16,519 --> 00:10:19,385
Are you nuts?
You don't even know the guy.
307
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,719
So what?
308
00:10:20,752 --> 00:10:23,785
I'll start talking to him,
you know, casual.
309
00:10:23,819 --> 00:10:25,185
I'll work my way around to it.
310
00:10:25,219 --> 00:10:27,719
What if he's in an iron lung
or something?
311
00:10:27,752 --> 00:10:29,385
What are you gonna do?
312
00:10:30,585 --> 00:10:33,819
How you feeling, Mr. Wilkenson?
313
00:10:33,852 --> 00:10:36,219
[IMITATES STEAM HISSING]
314
00:10:36,252 --> 00:10:39,685
By the way,
what's happening with Centrax?
315
00:10:39,719 --> 00:10:41,885
Maybe he's there resting.
316
00:10:41,919 --> 00:10:42,791
Who goes to a hospital to rest?
317
00:10:42,791 --> 00:10:45,019
Who goes to a hospital to rest?
318
00:10:45,052 --> 00:10:46,552
What are you, a doctor?
319
00:10:46,585 --> 00:10:49,452
Okay, fine, fine.
When are you going down there?
320
00:10:49,485 --> 00:10:51,285
Today,
I'm going today.
321
00:10:51,319 --> 00:10:52,552
Just don't do
anything
322
00:10:52,585 --> 00:10:54,385
until you hear
from me.
323
00:10:54,419 --> 00:10:56,519
All right.
324
00:10:56,552 --> 00:10:59,152
Boy,
I have to get to a bathroom.
325
00:11:03,719 --> 00:11:05,019
May I help you?
326
00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:07,519
Yeah, I picked up
this shirt here yesterday.
327
00:11:07,552 --> 00:11:09,619
It's completely shrunk.
328
00:11:09,652 --> 00:11:11,185
There's absolutely no way
I can wear it.
329
00:11:11,219 --> 00:11:12,385
When did you bring it in?
330
00:11:12,419 --> 00:11:12,791
What's the difference?
331
00:11:12,791 --> 00:11:13,685
What's the difference?
332
00:11:13,719 --> 00:11:16,185
Look at it. Do you see
the size of this shirt?
333
00:11:16,219 --> 00:11:17,685
You got a receipt?
334
00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,952
I can't find the receipt.
335
00:11:19,985 --> 00:11:21,152
You should get
the receipt.
336
00:11:21,185 --> 00:11:22,685
Look, forget about
the receipt, all right?
337
00:11:22,719 --> 00:11:27,185
Even if I had the receipt,
look at it, it's a hand puppet.
338
00:11:27,219 --> 00:11:29,019
What am I gonna do with this?
339
00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:33,352
Yes, but how do I know
we did the shirt?
340
00:11:33,385 --> 00:11:36,219
What do you think?
This is a little scam I have?
341
00:11:36,252 --> 00:11:38,019
I take this tiny shirt
all over the city,
342
00:11:38,052 --> 00:11:41,352
conning dry cleaners
out of money?
343
00:11:41,385 --> 00:11:42,791
In fact, forget the money.
I don't even want the money.
344
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:44,119
In fact, forget the money.
I don't even want the money.
345
00:11:44,152 --> 00:11:47,152
I just once would like
to hear a dry cleaner admit
346
00:11:47,185 --> 00:11:49,152
that something was their fault.
347
00:11:49,185 --> 00:11:50,352
That's what I want.
348
00:11:50,385 --> 00:11:52,385
I want an admission of guilt.
349
00:11:52,419 --> 00:11:55,852
Maybe you asked
for it to be washed.
350
00:11:55,885 --> 00:11:59,185
No, dry-cleaned.
351
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:02,452
Let me explain to you
something, okay?
352
00:12:02,485 --> 00:12:04,352
With certain types
of fabrics,
353
00:12:04,385 --> 00:12:07,152
different chemicals
can react, causing--
354
00:12:07,185 --> 00:12:09,385
You shrunk it.
You know you shrunk it.
355
00:12:09,419 --> 00:12:11,985
Just tell me
you shrunk it.
356
00:12:15,385 --> 00:12:17,252
I shrunk it.
357
00:12:18,419 --> 00:12:20,852
I think the only reason
we go to the dry cleaner
358
00:12:20,885 --> 00:12:22,952
is so I can say
to the dry cleaner,
359
00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:25,785
"Well...it's ruined,"
360
00:12:25,819 --> 00:12:28,452
and of course,
the dry cleaner can respond,
361
00:12:28,485 --> 00:12:31,452
"It's not our fault.
We're not responsible.
362
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:35,419
We just ruin the clothes.
That ends our legal obligation."
363
00:12:36,652 --> 00:12:38,819
See, the whole problem
with dry cleaning
364
00:12:38,852 --> 00:12:42,791
is that we all believe
that this is actually possible.
365
00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:42,952
is that we all believe
that this is actually possible.
366
00:12:42,985 --> 00:12:43,985
Right?
367
00:12:44,019 --> 00:12:45,619
They're cleaning our clothes,
368
00:12:45,652 --> 00:12:48,152
but they're not getting
anything wet.
369
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,385
It's all dry.
370
00:12:50,419 --> 00:12:53,052
I know there's got to be
some liquids back there,
371
00:12:53,085 --> 00:12:54,352
some fluids that they're using.
372
00:12:54,385 --> 00:12:55,885
There's no such thing
as dry cleaning.
373
00:12:55,919 --> 00:12:57,285
When you get something
on your shirt--
374
00:12:57,319 --> 00:12:58,485
Ever get something on your shirt
375
00:12:58,519 --> 00:13:00,485
and try and get it off
like that?
376
00:13:00,519 --> 00:13:01,885
That's dry cleaning.
377
00:13:01,919 --> 00:13:03,552
I don't think
that's what they're doing
378
00:13:03,585 --> 00:13:04,952
back there.
379
00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:07,852
They don't have 80 guys going,
"Come on, hurry up.
380
00:13:07,885 --> 00:13:10,585
There's a lot of shirts today."
381
00:13:12,885 --> 00:13:14,685
[ELAINE SNEEZES]
382
00:13:14,719 --> 00:13:15,885
JERRY:
Bless you.
383
00:13:15,919 --> 00:13:17,719
Thank you.
384
00:13:17,752 --> 00:13:19,052
What evidence is there
385
00:13:19,085 --> 00:13:21,219
that cats are so smart
anyway, huh?
386
00:13:21,252 --> 00:13:22,219
What do they do?
387
00:13:23,652 --> 00:13:25,385
Because they're clean?
388
00:13:25,419 --> 00:13:26,685
I'm sorry.
389
00:13:26,719 --> 00:13:30,052
My uncle Pete showers
four times a day,
390
00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:33,352
and he can't count to 10,
so don't give me hygiene.
391
00:13:33,385 --> 00:13:34,885
So, what are you gonna do?
392
00:13:34,919 --> 00:13:37,819
I don't know,
I can't think of any solution...
393
00:13:42,552 --> 00:13:42,791
Unless, of course,
394
00:13:42,791 --> 00:13:43,685
Unless, of course,
395
00:13:43,719 --> 00:13:47,152
they should meet
with some unfortunate accident.
396
00:13:50,052 --> 00:13:51,885
What do you think
a hit man would charge
397
00:13:51,919 --> 00:13:54,552
to rub out a couple of cats?
398
00:13:54,585 --> 00:13:57,852
Well,
it couldn't be too expensive.
399
00:13:57,885 --> 00:14:00,852
Thirteen, 14 bucks a cat?
400
00:14:00,885 --> 00:14:05,019
What do you think, Jerry?
You want to make 28 bucks?
401
00:14:05,052 --> 00:14:08,119
I'm no cat killer.
402
00:14:08,152 --> 00:14:10,452
How about...
403
00:14:10,485 --> 00:14:12,352
we go over there
right now,
404
00:14:12,385 --> 00:14:12,791
and we shave them?
405
00:14:12,791 --> 00:14:14,785
and we shave them?
406
00:14:14,819 --> 00:14:17,452
I'd really like to go, Elaine,
407
00:14:17,485 --> 00:14:20,885
but...George is coming back
from the hospital,
408
00:14:20,919 --> 00:14:22,352
I've got to wait for him.
409
00:14:22,385 --> 00:14:25,485
But otherwise,
I would definitely go.
410
00:14:25,519 --> 00:14:28,352
He actually went
to the hospital?
411
00:14:28,385 --> 00:14:29,352
Yeah.
412
00:14:29,385 --> 00:14:30,685
Oh, man, he's nuts.
413
00:14:30,719 --> 00:14:32,152
Yeah, he's nuts.
414
00:14:32,185 --> 00:14:34,419
You want to bump off
a couple of cats.
415
00:14:38,685 --> 00:14:42,219
I know, I know. It's down again.
416
00:14:42,252 --> 00:14:42,791
How much you down
altogether?
417
00:14:42,791 --> 00:14:44,319
How much you down
altogether?
418
00:14:44,352 --> 00:14:46,285
I don't know, $1500.
419
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:48,219
Wow.
420
00:14:48,252 --> 00:14:51,185
You don't have to say "wow."
I know it's "wow."
421
00:14:52,919 --> 00:14:55,619
And there's that smile again.
422
00:14:55,652 --> 00:14:56,685
What is that?
423
00:14:57,852 --> 00:14:59,085
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
424
00:15:03,052 --> 00:15:04,485
JERRY:
It's George.
425
00:15:04,519 --> 00:15:06,185
Yeah.
426
00:15:08,485 --> 00:15:09,619
Oh...
427
00:15:09,652 --> 00:15:11,785
Oh, look at this one
by the bus stop.
428
00:15:11,819 --> 00:15:12,791
Jerry, come here.
Take a look at this.
429
00:15:12,791 --> 00:15:13,352
Jerry, come here.
Take a look at this.
430
00:15:13,385 --> 00:15:15,719
I really don't
need to look.
431
00:15:15,752 --> 00:15:17,385
What a body.
432
00:15:19,152 --> 00:15:20,785
Yeah, that's for me.
433
00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:24,952
Yeah, and you're just
what she's looking for too,
434
00:15:24,985 --> 00:15:26,952
a stranger leering
through a pair of binoculars
435
00:15:26,985 --> 00:15:29,119
10 floors up.
436
00:15:29,152 --> 00:15:32,219
I'm gonna go down there
and try and talk to her, huh?
437
00:15:32,252 --> 00:15:33,919
[SNAPS FINGERS]
438
00:15:46,019 --> 00:15:48,119
What?
439
00:15:48,152 --> 00:15:49,485
What? Did you go down there?
440
00:15:50,719 --> 00:15:52,985
Did he tell you
what's going to happen?
441
00:15:53,019 --> 00:15:54,252
How long were you there?
442
00:15:56,385 --> 00:15:58,852
Fifteen seconds.
443
00:15:58,885 --> 00:16:01,052
You told him you knew Simons.
444
00:16:01,085 --> 00:16:03,885
Yeah, I mentioned Simons.
445
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:06,852
Next thing I know,
I'm in the parking lot!
446
00:16:08,352 --> 00:16:11,785
Perhaps they had
some sort of a falling out.
447
00:16:11,819 --> 00:16:12,791
I'll tell you one thing--
448
00:16:12,791 --> 00:16:13,719
I'll tell you one thing--
449
00:16:13,752 --> 00:16:15,019
I don't know what he's got,
450
00:16:15,052 --> 00:16:17,885
but for a sick guy,
he's very strong.
451
00:16:19,819 --> 00:16:22,385
Well, that's it.
Look, I'm going to Vermont.
452
00:16:22,419 --> 00:16:24,185
I don't want to think
about this.
453
00:16:24,219 --> 00:16:25,685
I'm selling.
454
00:16:27,019 --> 00:16:27,985
Didn't work, huh?
455
00:16:28,019 --> 00:16:29,052
[CHUCKLES]
456
00:16:29,085 --> 00:16:31,019
Not quite.
457
00:16:31,052 --> 00:16:33,719
What are you gonna do
about the stock?
458
00:16:33,752 --> 00:16:35,552
I'm keeping it.
459
00:16:36,919 --> 00:16:38,919
I'm going down with the ship.
460
00:16:42,485 --> 00:16:42,791
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
461
00:16:42,791 --> 00:16:44,052
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
462
00:16:47,885 --> 00:16:48,985
So I know this guy.
463
00:16:49,019 --> 00:16:50,319
I'm getting
all my sneakers
464
00:16:50,352 --> 00:16:52,119
at a discount now.
465
00:16:52,152 --> 00:16:53,452
I know.
You mentioned it.
466
00:16:53,485 --> 00:16:56,019
Oh, yeah, right.
467
00:16:56,052 --> 00:16:59,519
JERRY'S VOICE:
Oh, God, get me out of here.
What a mistake.
468
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,152
What made me think
this would work?
469
00:17:02,185 --> 00:17:04,052
And I've still got another day.
470
00:17:05,319 --> 00:17:07,185
I've got nothing left to say.
471
00:17:07,219 --> 00:17:09,319
Wait, wait, I've got one.
472
00:17:09,352 --> 00:17:11,219
That's a nice watch.
473
00:17:11,252 --> 00:17:12,791
Yeah.
474
00:17:12,791 --> 00:17:13,319
Yeah.
475
00:17:13,352 --> 00:17:15,219
Do you wind it?
476
00:17:15,252 --> 00:17:17,452
No, it's got
a little battery.
477
00:17:17,485 --> 00:17:18,885
Well, that's good.
478
00:17:18,919 --> 00:17:21,552
Well, the drive home
should be a delight.
479
00:17:21,585 --> 00:17:22,985
I'm speeding the whole way.
480
00:17:23,019 --> 00:17:24,985
Let them throw me in jail.
I don't care.
481
00:17:25,019 --> 00:17:26,152
That's the manager.
482
00:17:26,185 --> 00:17:28,552
Do you want me to see
if we can get another room?
483
00:17:28,585 --> 00:17:29,552
No, it's okay.
484
00:17:29,585 --> 00:17:31,119
So I guess you don't find
485
00:17:31,152 --> 00:17:33,319
the separate faucets
for the hot and the cold...
486
00:17:33,352 --> 00:17:34,352
charming?
487
00:17:34,385 --> 00:17:36,352
Not especially.
488
00:17:36,385 --> 00:17:38,785
Well, what do you want to do
this afternoon?
489
00:17:38,819 --> 00:17:41,352
What can we do? It's raining.
490
00:17:44,152 --> 00:17:45,685
We could play "Sorry."
491
00:17:47,519 --> 00:17:49,519
We could play
"Steal the old man's bundle."
492
00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:53,319
Maybe I can get
an extension cord
493
00:17:53,352 --> 00:17:56,285
and hang myself.
494
00:17:56,319 --> 00:17:59,652
What kind of perfume
is that you're wearing?
495
00:17:59,685 --> 00:18:02,385
Oh, you've never
heard of it.
496
00:18:02,419 --> 00:18:03,919
No, what...
what kind is it?
497
00:18:05,319 --> 00:18:06,319
I can't tell you.
498
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,552
Yeah, that's real normal.
499
00:18:08,585 --> 00:18:09,652
Excuse me, sir.
500
00:18:09,685 --> 00:18:11,885
Could I have a look
at that business section?
501
00:18:13,319 --> 00:18:14,719
The stock?
Thank you.
502
00:18:14,752 --> 00:18:16,119
I thought
you got out of that.
503
00:18:16,152 --> 00:18:18,285
I did. I'm just curious.
504
00:18:18,319 --> 00:18:20,552
It's been almost a week.
I want to check it out.
505
00:18:22,485 --> 00:18:24,519
Six points?
506
00:18:26,352 --> 00:18:28,485
It's up six points.
507
00:18:28,519 --> 00:18:29,952
I told you not to sell.
508
00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:31,619
You did not tell me not to sell.
509
00:18:31,652 --> 00:18:33,785
I said the market fluctuates.
Remember?
510
00:18:33,819 --> 00:18:37,352
Look, Vanessa,
of course the market fluctuates.
511
00:18:37,385 --> 00:18:38,785
Everybody knows that.
512
00:18:38,819 --> 00:18:41,385
I just got fluctuated
out of $4000.
513
00:18:41,419 --> 00:18:42,791
That's probably why we're...
514
00:18:42,791 --> 00:18:44,885
That's probably why we're...
515
00:18:44,919 --> 00:18:45,885
What?
516
00:18:45,919 --> 00:18:47,019
Forget it.
517
00:18:47,052 --> 00:18:48,552
No, that's probably why...
518
00:18:48,585 --> 00:18:50,685
That's probably why
we're staying here,
519
00:18:50,719 --> 00:18:53,052
because you lost money
on the stock.
520
00:18:54,219 --> 00:18:55,985
So what am I looking at here?
521
00:18:56,019 --> 00:18:58,452
Twenty-nine hours to go?
522
00:18:58,485 --> 00:19:00,052
Well, at least
I've got plenty of time
523
00:19:00,085 --> 00:19:02,152
to find out the name
of that perfume.
524
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:07,852
[LAUGHING]
525
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:11,085
James...he kills me, kills me.
526
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:12,791
Have something else.
Come on, have a little dessert.
527
00:19:12,791 --> 00:19:14,552
Have something else.
Come on, have a little dessert.
528
00:19:14,585 --> 00:19:15,785
I'm good, thanks.
529
00:19:15,819 --> 00:19:18,385
Elaine, get something.
It's all taken care of.
530
00:19:18,419 --> 00:19:19,485
I'm kind of full.
531
00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:21,285
So don't finish it!
532
00:19:21,319 --> 00:19:23,052
She's full.
533
00:19:24,852 --> 00:19:29,852
So, big daddy, I'm just curious.
534
00:19:29,885 --> 00:19:31,152
How much did you clear
535
00:19:31,185 --> 00:19:32,952
on your little transaction
there,
536
00:19:32,985 --> 00:19:33,952
all told?
537
00:19:33,985 --> 00:19:35,952
I don't like to discuss figures.
538
00:19:35,985 --> 00:19:36,885
How much?
539
00:19:38,219 --> 00:19:41,352
I don't know, 8,000.
It's a Hyundai.
540
00:19:41,385 --> 00:19:42,791
Get out of here.
541
00:19:42,791 --> 00:19:43,152
Get out of here.
542
00:19:43,185 --> 00:19:46,119
I told you not to sell.
543
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,652
Simons made money.
Wilkenson cleaned up.
544
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,519
So Wilkenson
is out of the hospital now?
545
00:19:50,552 --> 00:19:51,885
No.
546
00:19:51,919 --> 00:19:53,152
You'd be surprised.
547
00:19:53,185 --> 00:19:55,885
You don't recover that quickly
from a nose job.
548
00:19:57,319 --> 00:19:58,285
[SNEEZES]
549
00:19:58,319 --> 00:19:59,385
Oh, God.
550
00:19:59,419 --> 00:20:01,152
Is that still
from those cats?
551
00:20:01,185 --> 00:20:03,185
No...
552
00:20:03,219 --> 00:20:04,352
I've just got a cold.
553
00:20:04,385 --> 00:20:05,919
So, what ever happened
with that?
554
00:20:07,352 --> 00:20:08,652
I gave him an ultimatum.
555
00:20:11,385 --> 00:20:12,791
He chose the cats?
556
00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:13,319
He chose the cats?
557
00:20:13,352 --> 00:20:16,719
They're very clean animals.
558
00:20:16,752 --> 00:20:19,019
I've got to say,
that's pretty bad,
559
00:20:19,052 --> 00:20:20,952
losing out to a cat.
560
00:20:20,985 --> 00:20:24,152
Almost as bad
as losing out to a perfume.
561
00:20:24,185 --> 00:20:25,385
[CHUCKLES]
562
00:20:25,419 --> 00:20:27,719
[ELAINE LAUGHS]
563
00:20:27,752 --> 00:20:30,519
Told you those trips
are relationship-killers.
564
00:20:32,385 --> 00:20:34,052
Too bad you can't get
your buddy Superman
565
00:20:34,085 --> 00:20:36,619
to fly around
the earth
566
00:20:36,652 --> 00:20:37,852
at super speed
567
00:20:37,885 --> 00:20:39,519
and reverse time.
568
00:20:39,552 --> 00:20:40,652
Get all the money back,
569
00:20:40,685 --> 00:20:41,652
could have avoided
570
00:20:41,685 --> 00:20:42,791
the whole trip
to Vermont...
571
00:20:42,791 --> 00:20:43,819
the whole trip
to Vermont...
572
00:20:43,852 --> 00:20:45,019
Superman can go back in time?
573
00:20:45,052 --> 00:20:47,052
We went over that.
574
00:20:47,085 --> 00:20:48,719
Psst...
575
00:20:55,152 --> 00:20:56,819
Wilkenson's got a bite
on a new one...
576
00:20:58,552 --> 00:21:01,485
The Tramco Corporation.
577
00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:04,719
Out of...Springfield, I think.
578
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:11,052
They're about to introduce
some sort of a robot butcher.
579
00:21:11,085 --> 00:21:12,791
A robot butcher?
580
00:21:12,791 --> 00:21:13,452
A robot butcher?
581
00:21:13,485 --> 00:21:15,252
Shh...
582
00:21:17,552 --> 00:21:19,885
You want to get in...
583
00:21:19,919 --> 00:21:21,619
very little time.
584
00:21:21,652 --> 00:21:24,219
[MOUTHS WORDS]
585
00:21:24,252 --> 00:21:25,685
Ahem.
586
00:21:25,719 --> 00:21:27,385
Sweetheart...
587
00:21:32,085 --> 00:21:34,352
No, no, no, no, no,
that ought to cover it.
588
00:21:37,085 --> 00:21:39,185
Just a second.
Just let me...peek.
589
00:21:47,585 --> 00:21:49,052
Good.
590
00:21:50,719 --> 00:21:52,785
Come on!
Come on, come on, come on...
591
00:21:52,819 --> 00:21:54,319
I'm not an investor.
592
00:21:54,352 --> 00:21:55,552
People always tell me,
593
00:21:55,585 --> 00:21:57,552
"You should have your money
working for you."
594
00:21:57,585 --> 00:22:00,819
I've decided I'll do the work,
I'm gonna let the money relax.
595
00:22:00,852 --> 00:22:01,885
You know what I mean?
596
00:22:01,919 --> 00:22:03,319
Because you send your money
out there
597
00:22:03,352 --> 00:22:04,319
working for you,
598
00:22:04,352 --> 00:22:06,885
a lot of times, it gets fired.
599
00:22:06,919 --> 00:22:08,152
You go back there,
"What happened?
600
00:22:08,185 --> 00:22:10,519
I had my money, it was here,
it was working for me."
601
00:22:10,552 --> 00:22:12,791
"Yeah, I remember your money.
602
00:22:12,791 --> 00:22:13,352
"Yeah, I remember your money.
603
00:22:13,385 --> 00:22:17,019
"Showing up late,
taking time off...
604
00:22:17,052 --> 00:22:18,985
We had to let him go."