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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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- Hello. how are you
- Very well. Thanks.
4
00:00:55,447 --> 00:00:56,740
Who do I put it on?
5
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For Bobbi, with an "i".
6
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In the preface you say that you wrote the book -
7
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to understand death.
8
00:01:08,794 --> 00:01:10,963
So. It feels unnatural to me.
9
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I can't accept it
that the living must die.
10
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Thanks.
11
00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:16,801
Ingrid...
12
00:01:16,927 --> 00:01:18,095
An hour has passed.
13
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Actually already over.
14
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Many are still waiting.
15
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So. We do as you wish.
16
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Can I get a signature?
17
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Stella!
18
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I didn't see you.
19
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Why didn't you come straight here?
20
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I was embarrassed.
21
00:01:30,816 --> 00:01:31,984
You're pulling the crowd!
22
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- Lots of young people.
- Thank you.
23
00:01:33,527 --> 00:01:34,611
And not just women.
24
00:01:34,945 --> 00:01:37,030
Stella, this is Anne. My friend Stella.
25
00:01:37,114 --> 00:01:38,365
- Nice to meet you.
- Likewise.
26
00:01:38,448 --> 00:01:40,117
I'll be signing for everyone.
27
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,452
But see that there are no more people.
28
00:01:42,786 --> 00:01:43,786
Clear.
29
00:01:44,913 --> 00:01:46,665
I haven't seen you in ages.
30
00:01:46,748 --> 00:01:48,167
I now live in Boston.
31
00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:49,334
I'm visiting my son -
32
00:01:49,793 --> 00:01:51,420
and at Martha's in the hospital.
33
00:01:53,505 --> 00:01:54,756
I guess you knew about his cancer?
34
00:01:55,674 --> 00:01:56,674
Evil.
35
00:01:57,885 --> 00:01:58,885
With Martha Hunt?
36
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,805
He is being treated
at Manhattan Memorial Cancer Center.
37
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:02,889
I thought you knew.
38
00:02:03,473 --> 00:02:05,225
I don't. I haven't seen him in years.
39
00:02:05,309 --> 00:02:07,519
I can't imagine that Martha is sick.
40
00:02:07,603 --> 00:02:09,353
Go and see, he will be very happy.
41
00:02:10,063 --> 00:02:11,648
Of course.
42
00:02:11,732 --> 00:02:12,732
Of course I will.
43
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:16,778
Thank you for visiting. I appreciate that.
44
00:02:16,862 --> 00:02:17,862
Congratulations.
45
00:02:18,113 --> 00:02:19,031
Thanks.
46
00:02:19,114 --> 00:02:20,114
See you soon.
47
00:02:20,157 --> 00:02:21,157
Bye.
48
00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:25,203
Hello.
49
00:02:27,164 --> 00:02:29,374
- Who do I put it on?
- To Frances.
50
00:02:30,709 --> 00:02:33,378
- Is that you?
- No, but my girlfriend.
51
00:02:33,462 --> 00:02:34,462
He adores you.
52
00:02:35,172 --> 00:02:36,757
- Me too.
- Thank you.
53
00:02:40,219 --> 00:02:43,138
Can you write "That's not the case anymore"?
54
00:02:45,641 --> 00:02:46,809
Of course I can.
55
00:02:47,976 --> 00:02:48,976
Thanks.
56
00:02:49,394 --> 00:02:50,394
That's not the case anymore.
57
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:53,649
I hope not.
58
00:03:09,873 --> 00:03:12,417
Hello. I came to see Martha Hunt.
59
00:03:12,501 --> 00:03:14,127
I think he's on the 16th floor.
60
00:03:14,211 --> 00:03:15,462
Just a moment.
61
00:03:18,006 --> 00:03:20,342
Yes, room 1614.
62
00:03:20,425 --> 00:03:22,636
The elevator is at the end of the corridor on the left.
63
00:03:22,719 --> 00:03:23,887
- Thank you.
- Can't take it.
64
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:46,826
Martha?
65
00:03:48,328 --> 00:03:49,413
Ingrid!
66
00:03:50,581 --> 00:03:52,666
What a surprise!
67
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,459
How did you hear?
68
00:03:54,543 --> 00:03:56,461
I bumped into Stella, he said.
69
00:03:58,088 --> 00:04:01,049
Sorry.
I didn't even know you were sick.
70
00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:03,802
Well, we in our own jobs.
71
00:04:03,886 --> 00:04:06,513
Time has slipped away from us.
72
00:04:06,597 --> 00:04:08,223
Oh, and I lived in Paris.
73
00:04:08,307 --> 00:04:10,809
I heard it. I have read about you.
74
00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:13,562
I know you have published a book again,
75
00:04:13,645 --> 00:04:15,063
which sells very well.
76
00:04:15,147 --> 00:04:16,189
Thanks.
77
00:04:19,443 --> 00:04:20,444
how are you
78
00:04:21,653 --> 00:04:23,780
You're tired of telling everyone.
79
00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:27,659
It's cervical cancer, third degree.
80
00:04:28,202 --> 00:04:30,996
Not operable, but I can be treated,
81
00:04:31,079 --> 00:04:33,457
so I guess I won't die just yet.
82
00:04:34,917 --> 00:04:39,213
I am a guinea pig in an experimental treatment,
83
00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,007
and the results are better than expected.
84
00:04:42,090 --> 00:04:43,133
- Great!
- Yes.
85
00:04:43,217 --> 00:04:45,594
That's great!
Seemed to be in a good mood.
86
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:49,848
Feeling varies
between euphoria and depression.
87
00:04:49,932 --> 00:04:51,099
Sorry to hear that.
88
00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:54,478
It's normal,
and the doctors warned me.
89
00:04:55,020 --> 00:04:56,355
Ups and downs.
90
00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:00,776
It sounds absurd,
91
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:05,113
but after being accepted
and after I finished getting ready,
92
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:09,243
surviving feels almost like a letdown.
93
00:05:09,326 --> 00:05:10,536
Don't say that.
94
00:05:10,619 --> 00:05:12,371
I was ready to go.
95
00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:18,877
When I was initially diagnosed,
96
00:05:19,461 --> 00:05:20,504
I didn't want treatment.
97
00:05:20,587 --> 00:05:22,214
Glad you changed your mind.
98
00:05:23,715 --> 00:05:26,176
Because the mere thought of...
99
00:05:26,635 --> 00:05:28,262
And I wouldn't know...
100
00:05:28,345 --> 00:05:30,597
But I realized that I really didn't -
101
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:34,643
be ready to leave the party just yet.
102
00:05:35,561 --> 00:05:38,939
But I was used to the idea.
103
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:42,442
I guess it's good to get used to the idea,
104
00:05:42,526 --> 00:05:43,902
but not to give up.
105
00:05:45,154 --> 00:05:46,530
You have experienced many wars.
106
00:05:47,573 --> 00:05:49,324
They are in my life every day.
107
00:05:52,369 --> 00:05:55,122
Oh Ingrid,
i am so glad to see you.
108
00:05:55,539 --> 00:05:57,916
I was calling you a thousand times.
109
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,001
Likewise!
110
00:05:59,084 --> 00:06:00,919
It's ridiculous that we haven't seen.
111
00:06:01,003 --> 00:06:03,630
I promise to visit so often,
that disgusted me.
112
00:06:03,714 --> 00:06:04,714
Do you do it?
113
00:06:05,132 --> 00:06:06,175
Do you promise?
114
00:06:06,633 --> 00:06:07,759
You get to hold onto it.
115
00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:09,595
I guess your daughter knows.
116
00:06:11,096 --> 00:06:12,096
Yes.
117
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:16,518
When I had decided to give up -
118
00:06:16,602 --> 00:06:18,479
about the treatments, I told her,
119
00:06:20,063 --> 00:06:21,064
and he just said:
120
00:06:22,399 --> 00:06:23,567
"It's your choice."
121
00:06:24,776 --> 00:06:28,030
Point. As if it were something trivial,
122
00:06:29,281 --> 00:06:31,116
which would have nothing to do with him.
123
00:06:32,784 --> 00:06:34,077
how are you doing
124
00:06:35,120 --> 00:06:36,455
Same as always.
125
00:06:36,538 --> 00:06:37,915
We barely keep in touch.
126
00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:39,541
What is he doing?
127
00:06:39,625 --> 00:06:40,625
He'll be fine.
128
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:44,129
He works
as an agent for classical musicians.
129
00:06:47,299 --> 00:06:48,717
It may sound horrible,
130
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:53,222
but I don't feel she is my daughter.
131
00:06:55,474 --> 00:06:58,685
I often imagine
that he changed at birth.
132
00:06:58,769 --> 00:06:59,769
What?
133
00:07:00,145 --> 00:07:02,815
What do you mean? He looks just like you.
134
00:07:02,898 --> 00:07:04,107
He has your face.
135
00:07:05,776 --> 00:07:08,654
I've never been interested in her as a mother.
136
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:10,863
Why don't you?
137
00:07:10,906 --> 00:07:13,033
I was a teenager when I had him.
138
00:07:14,576 --> 00:07:16,286
I didn't know what to do with the baby.
139
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:21,291
When we started working for Paper Magazine,
140
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,085
we practically lived at night.
141
00:07:23,627 --> 00:07:25,504
Do you remember New York in the 80s?
142
00:07:25,587 --> 00:07:26,421
I remember.
143
00:07:26,505 --> 00:07:28,549
Everything important happened at night.
144
00:07:32,719 --> 00:07:35,722
Then I went on to become a war correspondent -
145
00:07:36,265 --> 00:07:37,516
and I traveled constantly.
146
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:39,434
It was no help.
147
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,521
My work took up all my time.
148
00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:49,987
I wasn't the way a mother should be.
149
00:07:52,281 --> 00:07:55,909
But Michelle started to hate me -
150
00:07:55,993 --> 00:07:57,661
long before I was much gone.
151
00:08:00,038 --> 00:08:01,748
I felt his bitterness -
152
00:08:01,832 --> 00:08:03,375
even when she was a little girl.
153
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,630
He expressed it very clearly.
154
00:08:13,385 --> 00:08:17,723
He couldn't stand fatherlessness.
155
00:08:19,725 --> 00:08:22,478
He saw other girls with their fathers -
156
00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:24,897
and wanted to know about his own.
157
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:30,694
At first I didn't know who he was...
158
00:08:33,238 --> 00:08:34,697
It kind of made it worse.
159
00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:37,951
I lied to him.
160
00:08:39,577 --> 00:08:41,497
Of course I knew who his father was.
161
00:08:42,663 --> 00:08:43,749
His name was Fred.
162
00:08:49,838 --> 00:08:52,508
We dated for a while
before his enlistment.
163
00:08:53,717 --> 00:08:55,636
Then he went to war -
164
00:08:55,761 --> 00:08:57,137
At the end of the Vietnam War.
165
00:08:58,764 --> 00:09:01,934
When he returned a year later he was -
166
00:09:02,893 --> 00:09:03,893
changed.
167
00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,188
Fred. What has happened?
168
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,981
He was a broken toy.
169
00:09:10,317 --> 00:09:12,444
Hello. No problem.
170
00:09:12,528 --> 00:09:15,489
I'm here. It's over now, Fred.
You are at home.
171
00:09:15,572 --> 00:09:17,157
It's not over for me.
172
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,079
I still have the war in my head.
173
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:25,666
I can't get out of it.
174
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:30,045
I hallucinate every day.
175
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,926
And I was in the cloud almost all the time.
176
00:09:40,472 --> 00:09:42,057
I don't know what I'm doing with my life
177
00:09:43,684 --> 00:09:44,935
but I won't stay here.
178
00:09:50,107 --> 00:09:51,107
No problem.
179
00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:54,069
You get to do whatever you want.
180
00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:56,989
Think about what is best for you.
181
00:10:01,326 --> 00:10:02,326
All right.
182
00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:05,581
Thanks.
183
00:10:11,128 --> 00:10:12,129
can i kiss you
184
00:10:41,658 --> 00:10:43,410
Does Michelle know that?
185
00:10:45,496 --> 00:10:47,498
He began to ask about his father -
186
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:48,916
as soon as he learned to speak.
187
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:56,173
But you can't explain that to a child.
188
00:10:57,841 --> 00:11:00,844
Before puberty
he dug a chasm between us.
189
00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,388
It defined his youth.
190
00:11:05,474 --> 00:11:07,226
But then I was no longer there.
191
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:11,814
I was in New York with you, living my life.
192
00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,151
I set up a meeting with Fred -
193
00:11:16,235 --> 00:11:18,195
to tell him about the situation.
194
00:11:18,737 --> 00:11:21,031
I took a first aid course,
195
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,325
and since I'm a war veteran,
196
00:11:23,408 --> 00:11:24,576
I got a job in a hospital -
197
00:11:24,660 --> 00:11:25,702
in San Diego.
198
00:11:28,038 --> 00:11:29,581
Good news, huh?
199
00:11:31,083 --> 00:11:32,751
I have news for you too.
200
00:11:35,087 --> 00:11:36,087
I am pregnant.
201
00:11:37,673 --> 00:11:40,509
- Pregnant?
- Yes.
202
00:11:42,678 --> 00:11:45,055
I was planning to move to San Diego next week.
203
00:11:47,432 --> 00:11:48,684
So what do we do?
204
00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:51,895
My parents support me,
205
00:11:52,771 --> 00:11:53,771
I'm not alone.
206
00:11:59,111 --> 00:12:01,572
I think work in a hospital
was not a good thing -
207
00:12:01,655 --> 00:12:03,115
for such a damaged person.
208
00:12:03,866 --> 00:12:05,242
It's like war.
209
00:12:06,451 --> 00:12:08,036
He needed therapy and rehabilitation.
210
00:12:08,537 --> 00:12:10,706
It would have made more sense,
211
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,834
but he wanted to be of use -
212
00:12:15,377 --> 00:12:16,712
to soothe his conscience.
213
00:12:17,296 --> 00:12:18,296
He believed
214
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,799
that helping people
on the brink of death -
215
00:12:21,592 --> 00:12:23,886
was his best chance -
216
00:12:23,969 --> 00:12:25,554
get peace for your soul.
217
00:12:27,264 --> 00:12:29,975
I just could
relieve him of his responsibility.
218
00:12:31,143 --> 00:12:33,270
He left before Michelle was born.
219
00:12:34,104 --> 00:12:35,104
They didn't get to know each other.
220
00:12:38,233 --> 00:12:41,487
Fred never called
to ask about him.
221
00:12:43,405 --> 00:12:44,698
When did you tell him?
222
00:12:45,324 --> 00:12:47,075
He was about 12 years old.
223
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:51,371
He wanted to know where father lived,
224
00:12:52,414 --> 00:12:53,665
and I didn't know anymore.
225
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,002
He was so stubborn,
226
00:12:57,878 --> 00:13:01,632
that I tracked down Fred's old high school friend,
227
00:13:03,217 --> 00:13:06,929
who told
that Fred had married,
228
00:13:07,971 --> 00:13:09,306
but had recently died.
229
00:13:11,517 --> 00:13:14,686
I asked for his wife's number -
230
00:13:16,021 --> 00:13:17,147
and I called this.
231
00:13:18,357 --> 00:13:19,942
I wanted to know what had happened.
232
00:13:21,735 --> 00:13:22,986
He told,
233
00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:25,906
that they had been
returning home from a trip.
234
00:13:29,451 --> 00:13:30,702
Is that smoke?
235
00:13:31,703 --> 00:13:32,703
There is.
236
00:13:33,789 --> 00:13:35,374
Something is burning.
237
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,167
That house is burning.
238
00:13:40,045 --> 00:13:41,672
Let's call the fire department.
239
00:13:48,679 --> 00:13:49,679
Stop the car.
240
00:13:49,721 --> 00:13:50,721
Fred...
241
00:13:57,563 --> 00:13:58,772
what are you doing
242
00:13:59,148 --> 00:14:00,774
- I'm going to have a look.
- No!
243
00:14:00,858 --> 00:14:02,609
That's crazy! Fred!
244
00:14:02,693 --> 00:14:05,362
- There could be someone inside!
- Fred, stop!
245
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:08,782
Don't go. It's dangerous. look at me
246
00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:10,117
Looking for a gas station -
247
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,161
and call the fire department.
248
00:14:12,244 --> 00:14:13,244
Can't you hear the screams?
249
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:15,164
No, I can't hear anything.
250
00:14:17,291 --> 00:14:20,210
Fred, please! Fred!
251
00:14:21,086 --> 00:14:22,462
Fred, don't go there!
252
00:14:25,674 --> 00:14:26,925
Can't you hear the screams?
253
00:14:27,009 --> 00:14:28,969
Someone is asking for help!
254
00:14:31,054 --> 00:14:32,055
Fred!
255
00:14:43,859 --> 00:14:46,069
Stop!
256
00:14:46,195 --> 00:14:48,113
Help me!
257
00:14:48,197 --> 00:14:50,491
Please help!
258
00:14:50,574 --> 00:14:53,285
- My husband is inside!
- Up the ladder!
259
00:14:53,368 --> 00:14:54,453
My husband is inside!
260
00:14:54,536 --> 00:14:55,829
My husband is inside!
261
00:14:55,913 --> 00:14:57,414
He thought he heard cries for help.
262
00:14:57,498 --> 00:14:58,749
Two hoses to the rear!
263
00:14:58,832 --> 00:15:00,292
He went to the house to save -
264
00:15:00,375 --> 00:15:02,127
those who are captured by fire.
265
00:15:02,211 --> 00:15:03,712
Get in the car. Don't go there.
266
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,589
Are there others there?
267
00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,342
- I don't know.
- Up the ladder!
268
00:15:08,425 --> 00:15:10,052
Get back in your car, ma'am.
269
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,013
To the upper window.
270
00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:18,310
It turns off.
271
00:15:20,896 --> 00:15:21,896
All right guys.
272
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,116
I'm sorry, we couldn't win anything.
273
00:15:36,286 --> 00:15:37,913
He didn't make it to the second floor.
274
00:15:39,289 --> 00:15:41,583
He must have gone nuts
from smoke and flames.
275
00:15:41,667 --> 00:15:42,918
What about the other bodies?
276
00:15:43,001 --> 00:15:44,169
There was no one else.
277
00:15:44,253 --> 00:15:46,505
The house has been abandoned for a long time.
278
00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:47,673
Only your husband was there.
279
00:15:47,756 --> 00:15:48,966
But he...
280
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,511
said he heard cries for help.
281
00:15:52,636 --> 00:15:53,971
It's impossible.
282
00:15:55,347 --> 00:15:56,390
There were no others there.
283
00:15:57,432 --> 00:15:58,475
It wasn't.
284
00:16:00,602 --> 00:16:02,855
I didn't hear any screams either.
285
00:16:04,481 --> 00:16:07,401
I tried to stop him from going in,
286
00:16:08,652 --> 00:16:09,778
but i didn't succeed.
287
00:16:09,862 --> 00:16:11,071
He was very brave.
288
00:16:11,989 --> 00:16:13,407
Did you tell Michelle that?
289
00:16:13,824 --> 00:16:15,701
Had to tell all the details.
290
00:16:16,618 --> 00:16:19,538
I even gave his father's wife's number.
291
00:16:19,663 --> 00:16:20,956
You know what?
292
00:16:21,039 --> 00:16:22,916
Let's go back to bed. You are tired.
293
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,376
But I have to tell you this.
294
00:16:24,459 --> 00:16:26,628
We can talk later.
295
00:16:27,462 --> 00:16:29,423
One day...
296
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,720
- I got a call from Fred's wife.
- All right.
297
00:16:34,803 --> 00:16:38,390
He said he wanted the address.
298
00:16:38,974 --> 00:16:40,476
You wanted to send me something.
299
00:16:41,977 --> 00:16:43,437
And soon after -
300
00:16:44,396 --> 00:16:47,483
I received a message in the mail and a letter,
301
00:16:49,151 --> 00:16:51,320
which the wife had received from Michelle,
302
00:16:52,529 --> 00:16:53,780
where he introduced himself -
303
00:16:54,448 --> 00:16:56,325
saying it was him
304
00:16:57,034 --> 00:16:58,118
Fred's daughter,
305
00:16:58,827 --> 00:17:00,829
who had been in the burning house.
306
00:17:02,414 --> 00:17:04,833
"He tried to save me."
307
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,962
"He died for me."
308
00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:12,174
That's what Michelle said to the wife.
309
00:17:12,757 --> 00:17:13,757
That's crazy!
310
00:17:14,217 --> 00:17:15,217
So.
311
00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:24,267
{\an8}Hey!
312
00:17:24,602 --> 00:17:25,978
{\an8}Here's the tease Martha.
313
00:17:26,522 --> 00:17:27,773
You are not a bully.
314
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:29,482
how are you
315
00:17:30,067 --> 00:17:31,109
Very well. I'm at home.
316
00:17:31,902 --> 00:17:34,363
I had a couple of days off between treatments,
317
00:17:34,446 --> 00:17:35,446
i am at home
318
00:17:35,906 --> 00:17:37,282
It would be nice if you came to visit.
319
00:17:37,866 --> 00:17:40,661
The move is in progress.
320
00:17:40,744 --> 00:17:42,913
Then you're really busy.
321
00:17:44,498 --> 00:17:46,166
You know what it's like to change.
322
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:50,921
But if you feel lonely,
i could come
323
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:52,464
Let's go for a walk in the park.
324
00:17:52,589 --> 00:17:54,591
I might not be able to walk.
325
00:17:55,551 --> 00:17:57,886
Clear. Let's do it like this.
326
00:17:58,303 --> 00:18:01,849
I'll finish this and come back.
327
00:18:02,391 --> 00:18:05,144
Thanks, but don't know
that you are obliged.
328
00:18:29,751 --> 00:18:31,837
- These are for you.
- You are wonderful.
329
00:18:33,088 --> 00:18:35,924
- And I brought a couple of books.
- Thank you.
330
00:18:36,508 --> 00:18:37,718
Would you like a drink?
331
00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:39,553
You would like tea.
332
00:18:39,970 --> 00:18:41,680
- Herbal tea, if available.
- Sure.
333
00:18:42,431 --> 00:18:44,266
- I'll put these in a vase.
- All right.
334
00:18:45,517 --> 00:18:47,978
And all these are for you.
335
00:18:48,061 --> 00:18:49,480
You have to eat everything.
336
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:51,482
Wow! Well, I'll do my best.
337
00:18:51,982 --> 00:18:52,983
I love fruit.
338
00:18:57,613 --> 00:18:59,323
Do you have something new in the works?
339
00:18:59,823 --> 00:19:01,241
Actually it is.
340
00:19:01,366 --> 00:19:04,411
I'm doing research
painter from Dora Carrington -
341
00:19:06,914 --> 00:19:08,040
and about their passionate relationship -
342
00:19:08,123 --> 00:19:09,583
to writer Lytton Strachey.
343
00:19:10,375 --> 00:19:11,460
Here he is.
344
00:19:12,002 --> 00:19:13,378
Strachey was gay,
345
00:19:13,462 --> 00:19:17,591
so Dora married her straight crush.
346
00:19:18,467 --> 00:19:20,469
It will be the story of the trio.
347
00:19:20,552 --> 00:19:21,720
It is not groundbreaking,
348
00:19:21,803 --> 00:19:23,847
but I want to see where it goes.
349
00:19:23,931 --> 00:19:25,432
Here, look.
350
00:19:25,516 --> 00:19:26,934
Sad for him,
351
00:19:27,017 --> 00:19:29,394
but there was another, more famous painter.
352
00:19:29,478 --> 00:19:30,646
Leonora Carrington.
353
00:19:30,729 --> 00:19:32,648
That Surrealist, Leonora Carrington,
354
00:19:32,731 --> 00:19:34,733
whose name resembled his own.
355
00:19:37,861 --> 00:19:38,861
Dora -
356
00:19:39,780 --> 00:19:41,406
was better known for this -
357
00:19:41,824 --> 00:19:44,117
about a strange love story with Strachey.
358
00:19:46,411 --> 00:19:49,331
He devoted 17 years of his life to this.
359
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:52,417
It will be a fictional biography,
360
00:19:53,252 --> 00:19:54,962
so I made up stuff for it.
361
00:19:56,296 --> 00:19:59,550
I have never been able to allow
for myself that.
362
00:20:01,844 --> 00:20:02,844
I hope not.
363
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,513
You are a war reporter.
364
00:20:05,180 --> 00:20:06,765
You can't do that.
365
00:20:07,307 --> 00:20:08,809
You can't show emotions.
366
00:20:08,934 --> 00:20:12,437
They must be excluded,
in order to do his job -
367
00:20:13,188 --> 00:20:15,524
and stay in the present in the midst of hell.
368
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,110
Maybe I should write about you.
369
00:20:18,193 --> 00:20:19,611
You would hardly want to write -
370
00:20:19,695 --> 00:20:21,405
diseases and treatments.
371
00:20:21,488 --> 00:20:22,698
You are wrong.
372
00:20:22,781 --> 00:20:23,782
I'm just a reporter,
373
00:20:24,449 --> 00:20:26,451
addicted to wars and adrenaline.
374
00:20:27,452 --> 00:20:28,452
Is it worthless?
375
00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:31,915
It wasn't just a tragedy.
376
00:20:32,416 --> 00:20:33,625
Life went on.
377
00:20:35,878 --> 00:20:39,214
I added a bit of fiction to one report.
378
00:20:39,882 --> 00:20:40,882
Really?
379
00:20:41,049 --> 00:20:43,093
I didn't post it.
380
00:20:45,137 --> 00:20:46,555
It was during the Iraq War.
381
00:20:47,431 --> 00:20:49,516
The last day before leaving Baghdad.
382
00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,186
Are you sure this is the right way?
383
00:20:52,269 --> 00:20:55,063
Yes, turn left at the alley.
384
00:20:56,398 --> 00:20:57,649
Let's take care of this quickly.
385
00:20:58,150 --> 00:21:00,694
{\an8}THE PRESS
386
00:21:01,153 --> 00:21:02,237
Stop here.
387
00:21:12,498 --> 00:21:15,167
Martin, what are you doing here in Baghdad?
388
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:19,630
- You look amazing.
- Thank you.
389
00:21:20,005 --> 00:21:21,965
Sorry. Paco, Martin.
390
00:21:22,049 --> 00:21:23,300
A Carmelite, like me.
391
00:21:23,467 --> 00:21:25,385
Nice to meet you. This is Martha.
392
00:21:25,511 --> 00:21:27,596
A great reporter from the New York Times.
393
00:21:29,223 --> 00:21:30,974
The Carmelites I told you about.
394
00:21:31,058 --> 00:21:32,059
Nice to meet you.
395
00:21:32,893 --> 00:21:34,520
Are you planning to stay in Baghdad?
396
00:21:35,020 --> 00:21:36,313
Yes, here we are.
397
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:37,396
But you are alone.
398
00:21:38,065 --> 00:21:40,359
Non-governmental organizations
and the Red Cross left.
399
00:21:41,026 --> 00:21:42,026
I know.
400
00:21:42,361 --> 00:21:45,197
The situation is out of control.
Very dangerous.
401
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,657
That's why you're here.
402
00:21:46,740 --> 00:21:48,742
On a passing trip.
403
00:21:48,909 --> 00:21:50,577
We're leaving soon.
404
00:21:50,661 --> 00:21:52,371
We can't let them down now.
405
00:21:52,454 --> 00:21:53,956
People need us.
406
00:21:54,081 --> 00:21:57,876
Yeah, but it still is
extremely dangerous.
407
00:21:59,628 --> 00:22:00,628
But you know that.
408
00:22:01,296 --> 00:22:03,423
We can't let them down now, ma'am.
409
00:22:04,883 --> 00:22:06,176
Can we take a picture -
410
00:22:06,260 --> 00:22:07,636
about you and the broadcasting station?
411
00:22:09,972 --> 00:22:10,972
All right.
412
00:22:11,223 --> 00:22:13,475
You can describe the broadcast station and me,
413
00:22:13,559 --> 00:22:16,895
but he doesn't want his family
to see him.
414
00:22:16,979 --> 00:22:18,230
- That would worry.
- Of course.
415
00:22:18,313 --> 00:22:19,148
I completely understand,
416
00:22:19,231 --> 00:22:20,941
but a picture of you would be great.
417
00:22:21,024 --> 00:22:22,442
- All right.
- Good.
418
00:22:23,652 --> 00:22:24,653
Here?
419
00:22:25,529 --> 00:22:28,574
Maybe a little step closer...
420
00:22:28,657 --> 00:22:30,367
It's good so I can see the damage.
421
00:22:36,373 --> 00:22:37,373
That was it.
422
00:22:40,002 --> 00:22:41,002
how long has it been
423
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:43,255
when was the last time we saw each other?
424
00:22:43,338 --> 00:22:44,338
Five years.
425
00:22:44,923 --> 00:22:46,175
Five years.
426
00:22:49,845 --> 00:22:50,929
Remember Liberia?
427
00:22:51,889 --> 00:22:52,889
How could I forget?
428
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:57,519
I have unpublished pictures of you.
429
00:22:58,937 --> 00:23:00,898
If you tell me your address, I will send them to you.
430
00:23:00,981 --> 00:23:01,982
Maybe to the embassy.
431
00:23:02,065 --> 00:23:03,150
No, keep them.
432
00:23:03,901 --> 00:23:05,652
So I'll keep you company.
433
00:23:06,737 --> 00:23:07,737
All right.
434
00:23:10,073 --> 00:23:11,575
It was really nice to see you.
435
00:23:12,409 --> 00:23:13,285
Be fine.
436
00:23:13,368 --> 00:23:14,703
- Goodbye.
- Stay safe.
437
00:23:19,583 --> 00:23:20,918
How do you know the Carmelites?
438
00:23:24,087 --> 00:23:25,506
We met in Sierra Leone.
439
00:23:27,549 --> 00:23:28,592
We became lovers.
440
00:23:29,510 --> 00:23:31,136
- Right?
- Yeah.
441
00:23:32,429 --> 00:23:33,972
After that we met more often.
442
00:23:34,598 --> 00:23:36,558
Always in places where there was war.
443
00:23:36,934 --> 00:23:38,018
Did you have sex?
444
00:23:38,101 --> 00:23:40,270
Of course, yeah.
445
00:23:40,854 --> 00:23:42,815
Bernardo did not give up physical pleasures.
446
00:23:44,399 --> 00:23:46,610
He was always in the worst conflict zones.
447
00:23:47,194 --> 00:23:49,446
I think sex
was his best security.
448
00:23:51,949 --> 00:23:54,326
It must be Carmelite
his partner.
449
00:23:54,660 --> 00:23:55,536
Do you think so?
450
00:23:55,619 --> 00:23:56,662
Absolutely.
451
00:23:57,871 --> 00:23:59,414
That's the only way to stay in Baghdad -
452
00:23:59,498 --> 00:24:00,499
without fear of war.
453
00:24:01,875 --> 00:24:04,086
- What a wonderful story.
- Yep.
454
00:24:05,546 --> 00:24:07,214
You don't write about it.
455
00:24:07,339 --> 00:24:10,759
Of course not.
456
00:24:12,010 --> 00:24:14,388
But isn't that a sin for him?
457
00:24:15,180 --> 00:24:16,306
No guilt?
458
00:24:16,390 --> 00:24:17,808
They are Catholics.
459
00:24:18,267 --> 00:24:20,227
I don't know. He never talked about it.
460
00:24:22,479 --> 00:24:24,189
After the horrors of war -
461
00:24:25,190 --> 00:24:26,608
guilt about sex -
462
00:24:26,692 --> 00:24:27,901
doesn't weigh much.
463
00:24:29,361 --> 00:24:30,361
You get used to it.
464
00:24:31,446 --> 00:24:32,446
I know that.
465
00:24:35,909 --> 00:24:37,578
I wrote their stories,
466
00:24:37,661 --> 00:24:39,997
love story,
as i imagined it to be
467
00:24:41,331 --> 00:24:42,916
but it stayed on my computer.
468
00:24:45,043 --> 00:24:47,004
So you're going to write -
469
00:24:47,087 --> 00:24:49,381
About the Mad Love of Dora Carrington.
470
00:24:50,382 --> 00:24:52,092
And of the connection to Virginia Woolf,
471
00:24:52,176 --> 00:24:55,387
which Strachey too pursued romantically.
472
00:24:55,470 --> 00:24:56,470
What a group!
473
00:24:56,972 --> 00:24:58,932
I greatly admire their freedom.
474
00:24:59,474 --> 00:25:01,143
Strachey died of stomach cancer -
475
00:25:01,226 --> 00:25:03,103
18 years after meeting Dora,
476
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,315
and Dora just lived
two months after that,
477
00:25:06,398 --> 00:25:08,233
until he shot himself in the stomach.
478
00:25:08,692 --> 00:25:10,110
He was only 38.
479
00:25:11,361 --> 00:25:13,947
Such symmetry is shocking.
480
00:25:14,490 --> 00:25:17,868
Strachey gastric cancer
and shooting Dora in the stomach.
481
00:25:17,951 --> 00:25:19,620
That shocked me too.
482
00:25:20,370 --> 00:25:22,581
What was Virginia Woolf thinking -
483
00:25:22,664 --> 00:25:23,957
About Carrington's death?
484
00:25:24,750 --> 00:25:26,627
Maybe Virginia saw -
485
00:25:27,336 --> 00:25:28,504
some kind of warning,
486
00:25:28,837 --> 00:25:30,839
the mirror in which he was reflected?
487
00:25:31,256 --> 00:25:32,508
Like he's doomed too?
488
00:25:35,052 --> 00:25:36,637
Am I doomed too?
489
00:25:37,137 --> 00:25:39,473
You don't! Of course not.
490
00:25:39,973 --> 00:25:42,059
I've never known anyone more alive.
491
00:25:42,559 --> 00:25:44,311
This week I start a new,
492
00:25:44,394 --> 00:25:46,980
experimental immunotherapy.
493
00:25:47,606 --> 00:25:48,606
It has already been tried,
494
00:25:48,649 --> 00:25:51,360
and it seems to work
in cervical cancer.
495
00:25:51,443 --> 00:25:53,237
- That's great news!
- Yes.
496
00:25:54,154 --> 00:25:55,447
Let me know when I can come.
497
00:25:55,531 --> 00:25:56,531
I'll let you know.
498
00:25:59,117 --> 00:26:00,452
Speaking of symmetry,
499
00:26:01,620 --> 00:26:02,663
Do you remember -
500
00:26:03,705 --> 00:26:04,873
Damian Cunningham?
501
00:26:05,958 --> 00:26:07,793
How could I forget?
502
00:26:07,876 --> 00:26:09,253
I inherited him from you.
503
00:26:10,379 --> 00:26:12,089
A shared lover.
504
00:26:12,381 --> 00:26:13,715
- Well...
- I have to say,
505
00:26:13,799 --> 00:26:15,634
that your dating felt terrible -
506
00:26:15,717 --> 00:26:16,885
after our courtship.
507
00:26:16,969 --> 00:26:18,428
We didn't share him,
508
00:26:18,512 --> 00:26:20,389
because you had already broken up
and you were abroad.
509
00:26:20,472 --> 00:26:21,974
I wouldn't have continued it,
510
00:26:22,057 --> 00:26:24,560
and frankly, I wasn't faithful.
511
00:26:25,477 --> 00:26:30,274
But he was fierce
and ardent lover,
512
00:26:30,357 --> 00:26:31,984
hopefully for you too.
513
00:26:32,568 --> 00:26:33,568
No complaints.
514
00:26:49,293 --> 00:26:50,294
Hello.
515
00:26:53,172 --> 00:26:54,172
What now?
516
00:26:56,091 --> 00:26:57,091
It hasn't worked.
517
00:26:58,302 --> 00:27:01,597
There are metastases in the liver and bones.
518
00:27:02,389 --> 00:27:04,308
Should have followed instinct.
519
00:27:04,391 --> 00:27:06,602
I should not have engaged in this torture.
520
00:27:07,060 --> 00:27:09,521
For this diarrhea, vomiting
and to fatigue -
521
00:27:09,605 --> 00:27:11,064
just to end here.
522
00:27:11,857 --> 00:27:13,984
Shouldn't have given up hope.
523
00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:15,319
All right.
524
00:27:15,402 --> 00:27:16,987
What does the doctor say?
525
00:27:17,362 --> 00:27:18,362
Tell me.
526
00:27:18,697 --> 00:27:20,616
That I can live for months,
527
00:27:21,241 --> 00:27:22,241
maybe a year.
528
00:27:23,243 --> 00:27:25,370
She wants me to continue treatment,
529
00:27:25,454 --> 00:27:26,788
even if it seems hopeless.
530
00:27:26,872 --> 00:27:28,415
Maybe it will work this time.
531
00:27:28,499 --> 00:27:30,501
I don't want to wallow in self-pity.
532
00:27:36,590 --> 00:27:39,384
But don't be strong. I'm sorry.
533
00:27:39,468 --> 00:27:42,137
I don't want to experience crushing pain.
534
00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:46,141
It cannot be restrained in agony.
535
00:27:47,059 --> 00:27:48,435
Can't think clearly.
536
00:27:49,186 --> 00:27:50,896
Can only think of one thing,
537
00:27:50,979 --> 00:27:52,356
damn cancer.
538
00:27:55,234 --> 00:27:56,819
I have taken care of my health.
539
00:27:57,820 --> 00:27:59,071
Now I regret it.
540
00:27:59,822 --> 00:28:02,282
They say my heart is strong.
What does that mean?
541
00:28:02,866 --> 00:28:04,660
My body continues to fight,
542
00:28:05,202 --> 00:28:08,288
and I suffered until my last breath?
543
00:28:09,456 --> 00:28:10,457
I don't know.
544
00:28:12,417 --> 00:28:13,961
I don't know how to help you.
545
00:28:15,379 --> 00:28:16,463
I'm very sorry.
546
00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,554
I think I deserve a good death.
547
00:28:26,265 --> 00:28:29,101
At least without convulsions
in my last moments.
548
00:28:29,935 --> 00:28:31,854
Death with even a hint of dignity,
549
00:28:31,937 --> 00:28:33,522
clean and dry.
550
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,110
But I know I'm asking too much.
551
00:28:38,652 --> 00:28:39,987
Why are you on your feet, Martha?
552
00:28:40,070 --> 00:28:41,989
I'm fucking sick of this.
553
00:28:42,614 --> 00:28:44,366
- Can you help him?
- Of course.
554
00:28:44,449 --> 00:28:45,701
Let's go back to bed.
555
00:28:45,784 --> 00:28:47,786
Come on. Let me help.
556
00:28:49,246 --> 00:28:50,246
That's all.
557
00:28:50,956 --> 00:28:51,956
About.
558
00:28:54,751 --> 00:28:56,753
I'll still be a junkie.
559
00:28:58,130 --> 00:28:59,715
I guess I already am.
560
00:29:00,174 --> 00:29:02,593
No problem. No kidding.
561
00:29:02,676 --> 00:29:05,053
Here, this helps.
562
00:29:43,342 --> 00:29:44,384
Are you still here?
563
00:29:45,844 --> 00:29:46,844
I am.
564
00:29:50,349 --> 00:29:52,017
May I bring some food?
565
00:29:54,019 --> 00:29:55,019
Are you hungry?
566
00:29:55,437 --> 00:29:56,437
No.
567
00:29:59,525 --> 00:30:00,525
Ingrid...
568
00:30:02,945 --> 00:30:06,532
Do I have to say goodbye?
My closest friends?
569
00:30:07,241 --> 00:30:09,409
You should do whatever you want.
570
00:30:10,619 --> 00:30:13,121
I just want peace and quiet.
571
00:30:14,915 --> 00:30:15,915
have you thought
572
00:30:16,542 --> 00:30:18,043
how do you like to spend your time?
573
00:30:20,546 --> 00:30:21,546
And where.
574
00:30:21,922 --> 00:30:23,590
Would you like to go somewhere?
575
00:30:25,300 --> 00:30:26,300
Look.
576
00:30:31,557 --> 00:30:33,016
Pink snowflakes.
577
00:30:35,435 --> 00:30:38,564
I like climate change
to be something good.
578
00:30:40,941 --> 00:30:41,941
Well...
579
00:30:43,443 --> 00:30:45,070
I had time to see it.
580
00:30:50,200 --> 00:30:52,911
Do you remember the end of Joyce's novel The Dead?
581
00:30:53,829 --> 00:30:54,829
Vaguely.
582
00:30:56,331 --> 00:30:58,083
"It's snowing,
583
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:02,212
falling into a lonely churchyard,
584
00:31:03,630 --> 00:31:06,633
descending silently through the universe."
585
00:31:08,719 --> 00:31:10,679
"Descending silently,
586
00:31:11,722 --> 00:31:14,349
like his last descent -
587
00:31:16,727 --> 00:31:18,187
all living things -
588
00:31:20,230 --> 00:31:21,315
and upon the dead."
589
00:31:25,944 --> 00:31:27,488
It's getting late and...
590
00:31:28,780 --> 00:31:29,781
i should go
591
00:31:37,998 --> 00:31:38,998
Thanks.
592
00:31:40,584 --> 00:31:41,793
See you tomorrow.
593
00:32:29,132 --> 00:32:31,468
There's still half an hour until the movie starts.
594
00:32:31,927 --> 00:32:34,096
Shall we go get seats before the rush?
595
00:32:34,179 --> 00:32:36,223
No. I want to talk to you about one thing.
596
00:32:36,890 --> 00:32:37,890
Clear.
597
00:32:38,183 --> 00:32:40,269
I'm not going to leave in humiliating pain.
598
00:32:41,061 --> 00:32:42,813
I got my hands on the euthanasia pill.
599
00:32:43,647 --> 00:32:44,565
Don't ask how.
600
00:32:44,648 --> 00:32:46,942
You can find almost anything on the dark web.
601
00:32:47,693 --> 00:32:50,863
I also have a lot of opioids for pain.
602
00:32:51,196 --> 00:32:52,281
don't look at me like that
603
00:32:52,364 --> 00:32:54,825
I'm not asking you to change my mind.
604
00:32:55,826 --> 00:32:57,161
Words fail me.
605
00:32:57,828 --> 00:32:59,538
I hope you say yes.
606
00:33:00,289 --> 00:33:01,289
Yes to what?
607
00:33:01,832 --> 00:33:03,542
For my request for help.
608
00:33:04,168 --> 00:33:05,544
In what matter?
609
00:33:06,879 --> 00:33:09,339
I have faced death many times,
610
00:33:09,423 --> 00:33:11,175
but I've always had company.
611
00:33:11,925 --> 00:33:15,304
We journalists were, in a way
a mobile family.
612
00:33:17,222 --> 00:33:18,807
This is war too
613
00:33:19,766 --> 00:33:21,059
I'm not afraid of it.
614
00:33:21,602 --> 00:33:22,602
But -
615
00:33:22,895 --> 00:33:24,771
as before when I faced death,
616
00:33:26,940 --> 00:33:28,942
I don't want to be alone, Ingrid.
617
00:33:31,403 --> 00:33:32,779
I'm asking you to -
618
00:33:33,697 --> 00:33:35,741
to be in the next room.
619
00:33:37,201 --> 00:33:38,869
Now let's just go to our seats.
620
00:33:38,952 --> 00:33:40,329
Sure,
621
00:33:40,412 --> 00:33:42,831
but I would like to continue talking,
if it suits.
622
00:33:45,459 --> 00:33:46,459
All right.
623
00:33:49,046 --> 00:33:50,547
Do you know when you want to do it?
624
00:33:51,465 --> 00:33:52,508
Not exactly.
625
00:33:53,675 --> 00:33:54,675
Within a month?
626
00:33:56,678 --> 00:33:59,723
Before my condition worsens,
and you don't recognize me.
627
00:34:00,724 --> 00:34:03,894
For the next few weeks I'll be feeling pretty good,
628
00:34:04,686 --> 00:34:06,522
but i want to do it soon.
629
00:34:06,605 --> 00:34:08,272
My doctors think I'm coming back -
630
00:34:08,357 --> 00:34:10,067
to complete the treatment.
631
00:34:10,817 --> 00:34:13,237
It's best they don't suspect anything.
632
00:34:14,112 --> 00:34:15,572
Where do you want to do it?
633
00:34:16,031 --> 00:34:17,366
I don't want to be at home.
634
00:34:19,910 --> 00:34:22,871
And I don't want to go back to my happy places.
635
00:34:25,207 --> 00:34:26,625
It's always a mistake to go back -
636
00:34:26,708 --> 00:34:28,710
somewhere that has been
really happy.
637
00:34:29,127 --> 00:34:31,587
Then it just ruins the good memories.
638
00:34:31,672 --> 00:34:33,339
I understand that.
639
00:34:33,422 --> 00:34:36,677
It's probably easier for me to give up on life,
640
00:34:36,759 --> 00:34:40,471
if there are no familiar things around me,
641
00:34:40,973 --> 00:34:42,140
intimate things.
642
00:34:42,933 --> 00:34:44,977
It could hold me back.
643
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:50,524
I would like from some unknown place,
644
00:34:51,567 --> 00:34:53,402
comfortable, safe,
645
00:34:54,361 --> 00:34:55,988
and not too far away.
646
00:34:56,904 --> 00:34:59,241
Do you need my help finding a place -
647
00:34:59,324 --> 00:35:00,951
or to get there?
648
00:35:01,451 --> 00:35:03,078
No, I don't.
649
00:35:03,662 --> 00:35:05,164
I can take care of it myself.
650
00:35:06,915 --> 00:35:09,793
I need someone to accompany me there,
651
00:35:11,003 --> 00:35:12,462
to the neighboring room.
652
00:35:14,965 --> 00:35:16,925
Wouldn't you like someone closer?
653
00:35:17,009 --> 00:35:18,343
We are very close.
654
00:35:18,468 --> 00:35:20,470
Of course we are.
655
00:35:20,596 --> 00:35:22,931
We are very close. I just...
656
00:35:23,015 --> 00:35:25,142
We didn't see each other for years.
657
00:35:26,226 --> 00:35:27,728
What about Stella?
658
00:35:27,811 --> 00:35:29,062
Or Maggie?
659
00:35:29,146 --> 00:35:30,146
Or Vanessa?
660
00:35:30,189 --> 00:35:32,316
You have been friends since childhood.
661
00:35:32,399 --> 00:35:34,735
I admit I thought of them first.
662
00:35:35,777 --> 00:35:37,488
I asked all three.
663
00:35:37,571 --> 00:35:40,866
Everyone was terrified
and refused.
664
00:35:42,201 --> 00:35:43,285
They realized that
665
00:35:43,368 --> 00:35:45,662
but they said they couldn't -
666
00:35:45,746 --> 00:35:47,206
to help me take my life.
667
00:35:47,623 --> 00:35:49,166
Absolutely not.
668
00:35:49,249 --> 00:35:51,376
- What about your daughter?
- It wouldn't be fair to him.
669
00:35:52,753 --> 00:35:54,379
I have been an absent mother.
670
00:35:55,005 --> 00:35:56,798
I don't want to force my death on him.
671
00:35:57,049 --> 00:36:01,094
You could even ask him,
allow to participate.
672
00:36:01,178 --> 00:36:02,888
We are strangers to each other, Ingrid.
673
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,266
He made it clear when I told -
674
00:36:06,350 --> 00:36:08,352
about my doubts about the treatment.
675
00:36:09,478 --> 00:36:11,146
"It's your choice," he said.
676
00:36:12,940 --> 00:36:13,940
He's right.
677
00:36:15,067 --> 00:36:16,067
Right.
678
00:36:42,302 --> 00:36:43,762
All the same,
679
00:36:44,555 --> 00:36:46,723
people want you to keep fighting.
680
00:36:48,433 --> 00:36:51,186
That's how we've been taught to see cancer.
681
00:36:52,312 --> 00:36:57,151
As a battle between the patient and the disease,
682
00:36:57,526 --> 00:36:59,987
that is, between good and evil.
683
00:37:00,863 --> 00:37:02,990
If you survive, you're a hero.
684
00:37:04,116 --> 00:37:05,951
If you lose,
685
00:37:07,578 --> 00:37:09,371
maybe didn't fight hard enough.
686
00:37:11,957 --> 00:37:13,792
People don't want to use words -
687
00:37:13,876 --> 00:37:17,045
"fatal" or "incurable".
688
00:37:17,129 --> 00:37:18,964
They say pessimistic speech.
689
00:37:19,798 --> 00:37:20,883
The worst things -
690
00:37:20,966 --> 00:37:23,552
comes from the support community for cancer patients.
691
00:37:24,261 --> 00:37:26,847
Some consider cancer a gift,
692
00:37:27,264 --> 00:37:29,975
as an opportunity for spiritual growth.
693
00:37:30,058 --> 00:37:31,143
Horse shit!
694
00:37:31,935 --> 00:37:35,022
They should realize
that I fight like this.
695
00:37:37,191 --> 00:37:40,319
Cancer won't get me if I get there first.
696
00:37:43,071 --> 00:37:45,574
And what's the point of waiting,
697
00:37:46,825 --> 00:37:48,160
when I'm ready to go?
698
00:37:49,912 --> 00:37:52,164
Are you absolutely sure you're ready?
699
00:37:52,581 --> 00:37:53,581
Completely.
700
00:37:54,166 --> 00:37:55,501
From the first diagnosis.
701
00:37:58,253 --> 00:38:00,672
You know I'm terribly afraid of death.
702
00:38:00,756 --> 00:38:01,756
I know.
703
00:38:01,924 --> 00:38:02,924
I have read your book.
704
00:38:03,383 --> 00:38:05,219
That's why I didn't ask for you first.
705
00:38:07,596 --> 00:38:10,098
- But do you understand me?
- I understand.
706
00:38:10,182 --> 00:38:12,267
I envied you. You are in control of your life.
707
00:38:12,601 --> 00:38:16,104
I only miss your company in the days before,
708
00:38:16,188 --> 00:38:17,815
as if we were on vacation.
709
00:38:18,816 --> 00:38:21,276
I just want to know that when it happens,
710
00:38:21,652 --> 00:38:23,612
there is someone in the next room.
711
00:38:23,695 --> 00:38:25,364
It terrifies me.
712
00:38:25,447 --> 00:38:26,281
I see.
713
00:38:26,365 --> 00:38:28,325
You have every right to do that,
714
00:38:28,408 --> 00:38:29,326
and i adore you
715
00:38:29,409 --> 00:38:31,829
but i don't know
can i find you dead
716
00:38:31,912 --> 00:38:32,913
I'm not that strong.
717
00:38:32,996 --> 00:38:34,873
You are much stronger than you think.
718
00:38:37,501 --> 00:38:39,962
Either way, I had to try.
719
00:38:44,007 --> 00:38:45,676
I can't answer now,
720
00:38:45,759 --> 00:38:47,177
but I promise to think about it.
721
00:38:47,261 --> 00:38:49,930
Now I am too confused and terrified.
722
00:38:50,013 --> 00:38:51,181
I understand.
723
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:53,392
I understand that this came suddenly...
724
00:38:55,477 --> 00:38:57,146
and is confusing.
725
00:39:01,733 --> 00:39:02,734
I made someone up.
726
00:39:13,537 --> 00:39:14,621
I wasn't too much, was I?
727
00:39:14,705 --> 00:39:16,081
You don't.
728
00:39:55,954 --> 00:39:56,954
Martha?
729
00:39:57,039 --> 00:39:58,039
Hello, Ingrid.
730
00:39:58,290 --> 00:39:59,291
I made my decision.
731
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:03,920
Go inside.
732
00:40:05,255 --> 00:40:06,715
The owner is a jewelry designer.
733
00:40:07,466 --> 00:40:10,302
He is my friend
so I don't pay much rent.
734
00:40:12,054 --> 00:40:12,930
The impression is,
735
00:40:13,013 --> 00:40:15,349
that this is furnished with junk.
736
00:40:16,058 --> 00:40:17,476
Not entirely.
737
00:40:18,477 --> 00:40:21,104
It takes skill
pick things out of the trash.
738
00:40:21,730 --> 00:40:23,232
Your move is still in progress.
739
00:40:24,316 --> 00:40:25,316
Do you need help?
740
00:40:27,194 --> 00:40:28,194
I don't.
741
00:40:30,739 --> 00:40:31,739
I'll do it later.
742
00:40:33,283 --> 00:40:36,328
And yet you're going with Martha.
743
00:40:37,955 --> 00:40:39,957
He's all alone, Damian.
744
00:40:40,707 --> 00:40:43,001
None of his friends will help with this.
745
00:40:43,085 --> 00:40:45,170
I wasn't even the first choice.
746
00:40:46,338 --> 00:40:48,131
It's as if the daughter doesn't even exist.
747
00:40:48,590 --> 00:40:49,800
In our years together -
748
00:40:49,883 --> 00:40:51,635
he didn't even tell about his daughter.
749
00:40:51,718 --> 00:40:52,886
I know, it's -
750
00:40:53,512 --> 00:40:54,888
sad story.
751
00:40:54,972 --> 00:40:58,183
A terrible, terrible misunderstanding.
752
00:41:01,478 --> 00:41:03,021
Did you say we keep in touch?
753
00:41:05,190 --> 00:41:06,190
I don't...
754
00:41:06,441 --> 00:41:08,735
We were talking about you in a general way.
755
00:41:08,819 --> 00:41:10,821
- He has nice memories of you.
- Right?
756
00:41:11,905 --> 00:41:14,324
Our relationship was mostly physical.
757
00:41:14,408 --> 00:41:16,410
He was always going somewhere,
758
00:41:17,202 --> 00:41:21,248
therefore our love making felt urgent.
759
00:41:21,665 --> 00:41:23,959
It felt like
from sex with a terrorist,
760
00:41:24,042 --> 00:41:25,460
always from the last time.
761
00:41:25,544 --> 00:41:28,005
He will punish you
quite high as a lover.
762
00:41:28,088 --> 00:41:29,715
It would be nice to know your grades.
763
00:41:29,798 --> 00:41:31,884
Unbelievable,
that you are still flirting with me.
764
00:41:31,967 --> 00:41:34,678
- I'm serious.
- And you're not.
765
00:41:34,761 --> 00:41:36,847
Martha's situation here is serious.
766
00:41:37,431 --> 00:41:39,016
Does death terrify you?
767
00:41:39,933 --> 00:41:41,727
You just published a book about it.
768
00:41:41,810 --> 00:41:43,812
Did you get over it because of the book?
769
00:41:43,896 --> 00:41:44,896
I don't.
770
00:41:54,823 --> 00:41:56,742
Hello. how are you
771
00:41:57,326 --> 00:41:58,326
Better.
772
00:41:58,702 --> 00:42:00,746
Much better because you agreed.
773
00:42:01,538 --> 00:42:03,832
- Where are you, at home?
- Yeh.
774
00:42:04,416 --> 00:42:05,751
I water the plants.
775
00:42:06,168 --> 00:42:08,462
I thought you had someone
for that matter.
776
00:42:08,921 --> 00:42:09,921
That's right.
777
00:42:10,422 --> 00:42:13,050
But today I wanted to do it,
and I enjoy it.
778
00:42:13,133 --> 00:42:14,927
All right. Good thing.
779
00:42:16,011 --> 00:42:19,056
Have you decided where we're going yet?
780
00:42:19,556 --> 00:42:20,974
That's why I called.
781
00:42:21,975 --> 00:42:25,562
Near Woodstock,
a couple of hours from the city.
782
00:42:25,646 --> 00:42:27,648
It looks amazing.
783
00:42:27,731 --> 00:42:31,568
Quite expensive, but the occasion calls for it.
784
00:42:33,654 --> 00:42:35,948
Do you know how long...
785
00:42:36,073 --> 00:42:37,616
I rented it for a month.
786
00:42:37,699 --> 00:42:40,202
I have more than enough time.
787
00:42:40,285 --> 00:42:41,286
For a month?
788
00:42:41,370 --> 00:42:44,414
My blood counts are low,
789
00:42:44,498 --> 00:42:46,917
and I have to take a break
before new treatment,
790
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,126
and only you know
791
00:42:48,210 --> 00:42:50,087
that I'm not going back to the hospital.
792
00:42:50,712 --> 00:42:53,006
I haven't chosen a day.
793
00:42:53,090 --> 00:42:53,966
I mean,
794
00:42:54,049 --> 00:42:56,009
that it cannot be known.
795
00:42:57,094 --> 00:42:59,388
But I'm ready to go.
796
00:43:01,098 --> 00:43:02,891
I'd even say I'm impatient.
797
00:43:03,767 --> 00:43:05,519
I'm going to give a lecture -
798
00:43:05,602 --> 00:43:07,604
near Woodstock in two weeks,
799
00:43:07,688 --> 00:43:08,939
so we can meet.
800
00:43:09,773 --> 00:43:11,191
I don't think it's a good idea.
801
00:43:11,275 --> 00:43:12,901
I'm with Martha all the time.
802
00:43:13,277 --> 00:43:14,736
I'll call if I can.
803
00:43:15,404 --> 00:43:16,404
You need a lawyer.
804
00:43:17,030 --> 00:43:19,032
Yeah, should look for one.
805
00:43:19,116 --> 00:43:22,202
let me help
but you have to tell him.
806
00:43:22,286 --> 00:43:24,705
No, not in that case.
807
00:43:24,788 --> 00:43:26,248
This is an absolute secret.
808
00:43:26,331 --> 00:43:27,833
Martha doesn't even know about you.
809
00:43:27,916 --> 00:43:30,878
Clear. But if you need anything, let me know.
810
00:43:32,838 --> 00:43:34,089
I'm worried about you.
811
00:43:35,048 --> 00:43:36,048
Thanks.
812
00:44:34,149 --> 00:44:35,400
According to this map -
813
00:44:36,235 --> 00:44:38,278
we go up the stairs and then inside.
814
00:44:38,362 --> 00:44:39,404
Clear.
815
00:45:09,476 --> 00:45:10,476
You look at this.
816
00:45:25,659 --> 00:45:27,953
So beautiful!
817
00:45:28,036 --> 00:45:31,290
Much more beautiful than in the photos!
818
00:45:34,835 --> 00:45:36,879
Is that the real Hopper?
819
00:45:36,962 --> 00:45:38,797
They would hardly have left it here.
820
00:45:39,381 --> 00:45:41,049
A very good copy.
821
00:45:41,592 --> 00:45:42,592
Looks real.
822
00:46:05,824 --> 00:46:06,950
Do you hear them?
823
00:46:07,910 --> 00:46:08,911
Isn't that wonderful?
824
00:46:13,749 --> 00:46:16,376
We can lie in the sun, like a blackboard,
825
00:46:18,212 --> 00:46:20,589
and feel the breath of the evening breeze.
826
00:46:26,386 --> 00:46:27,386
How are you feeling?
827
00:46:29,640 --> 00:46:30,849
Really happy.
828
00:46:48,951 --> 00:46:50,619
Is it okay if I take this?
829
00:46:50,702 --> 00:46:52,496
Of course not. Your house.
830
00:46:56,959 --> 00:46:59,878
This is quite small. I'm watching from downstairs.
831
00:46:59,962 --> 00:47:00,962
All right.
832
00:47:18,522 --> 00:47:20,482
I'll take this, okay?
833
00:47:21,441 --> 00:47:22,734
Good thing!
834
00:47:24,319 --> 00:47:27,030
It doesn't matter if I'm not in the next room?
835
00:47:27,739 --> 00:47:29,741
I can hear your breath!
836
00:47:30,659 --> 00:47:32,161
And your screams!
837
00:47:33,579 --> 00:47:34,788
Clear!
838
00:47:43,088 --> 00:47:44,173
Now.
839
00:47:49,011 --> 00:47:50,846
Let's unpack your stuff.
840
00:47:50,929 --> 00:47:51,930
Thanks.
841
00:47:52,806 --> 00:47:54,099
I'll take them apart later.
842
00:47:54,725 --> 00:47:56,935
You are not my guardian, Ingrid.
843
00:47:57,019 --> 00:47:58,187
You are my guest.
844
00:47:58,979 --> 00:47:59,979
All right.
845
00:48:01,231 --> 00:48:02,900
I'm going to unpack my things.
846
00:48:20,125 --> 00:48:21,125
Martha?
847
00:48:27,591 --> 00:48:28,591
What is it?
848
00:48:29,343 --> 00:48:30,761
- You won't believe this!
- What?
849
00:48:30,844 --> 00:48:31,844
I forgot about it!
850
00:48:31,887 --> 00:48:33,347
Forgot what?
851
00:48:33,430 --> 00:48:34,806
That euthanasia pill!
852
00:48:34,890 --> 00:48:37,267
I brought everything else! Gotta go back.
853
00:48:37,351 --> 00:48:39,436
Alright, we'll be right back in the morning.
854
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:40,687
- Don't worry.
- Not tomorrow.
855
00:48:40,771 --> 00:48:41,939
Gotta go now!
856
00:48:42,064 --> 00:48:46,026
I have to make sure
that I didn't waste it
857
00:48:46,109 --> 00:48:48,070
or just made it up.
858
00:48:48,779 --> 00:48:49,780
Clear.
859
00:48:55,702 --> 00:48:58,497
Buying another pill
would be very complicated.
860
00:49:00,749 --> 00:49:04,378
i have a friend
who knows a mathematician,
861
00:49:04,461 --> 00:49:06,380
who found it on the dark web.
862
00:49:07,798 --> 00:49:09,132
It is very obscure,
863
00:49:10,050 --> 00:49:12,302
not to mention illegal.
864
00:49:15,681 --> 00:49:16,681
It's scary -
865
00:49:17,474 --> 00:49:19,017
to know that all that exists -
866
00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:21,770
right behind our computer screens.
867
00:49:24,231 --> 00:49:25,482
I feel like a criminal.
868
00:49:30,696 --> 00:49:32,322
I didn't think I would come back here again.
869
00:49:33,240 --> 00:49:34,658
To see that wonderful landscape.
870
00:49:35,492 --> 00:49:37,411
Life always surprises.
871
00:49:37,828 --> 00:49:39,329
Well, let's start looking.
872
00:49:39,413 --> 00:49:41,290
- All right.
- I'll start in the kitchen.
873
00:49:41,373 --> 00:49:42,499
We will find it.
874
00:49:42,583 --> 00:49:45,752
Think about the places you use as hideouts.
875
00:49:45,878 --> 00:49:48,297
- I've never hidden anything else.
- Don't you?
876
00:49:48,380 --> 00:49:51,049
I just remember putting it in the envelope.
877
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:52,800
Clear.
878
00:49:53,427 --> 00:49:55,095
How about I start in your study?
879
00:49:55,179 --> 00:49:56,471
- Is that okay?
- Fine.
880
00:49:56,555 --> 00:49:58,974
Where did I put it? Where?
881
00:50:17,951 --> 00:50:20,245
Oh heaven. We'll never find it.
882
00:51:14,091 --> 00:51:15,968
GOOD
883
00:51:34,903 --> 00:51:35,904
I found the envelope.
884
00:51:36,655 --> 00:51:37,781
That's it!
885
00:51:38,699 --> 00:51:39,699
Where did you find it?
886
00:51:39,741 --> 00:51:40,909
From your desk drawer.
887
00:51:40,993 --> 00:51:43,453
There was a key, I opened it.
888
00:51:44,079 --> 00:51:45,914
How could I forget?
889
00:51:46,248 --> 00:51:47,624
Did I even leave the key in there?
890
00:51:47,708 --> 00:51:49,960
You had to take it
and at the last moment you forgot.
891
00:51:50,043 --> 00:51:51,044
It's not strange.
892
00:51:53,463 --> 00:51:54,756
Thanks.
893
00:51:55,799 --> 00:51:57,759
Such a strange feeling.
894
00:51:59,219 --> 00:52:01,096
Like I'm here after I die.
895
00:52:01,180 --> 00:52:02,598
Oh god, don't say that.
896
00:52:03,640 --> 00:52:05,893
It's too early to consider yourself a ghost.
897
00:52:07,519 --> 00:52:09,229
I'll clean up a bit before we leave.
898
00:52:09,730 --> 00:52:10,730
Thanks.
899
00:53:05,786 --> 00:53:07,287
Please forgive this blurb.
900
00:53:08,121 --> 00:53:09,373
I'm really sorry.
901
00:53:10,082 --> 00:53:11,082
No problem.
902
00:53:12,125 --> 00:53:14,419
What a great place to come back to.
903
00:53:16,129 --> 00:53:17,589
Stupid fridge.
904
00:53:18,549 --> 00:53:19,549
Do you need help?
905
00:53:22,261 --> 00:53:23,261
I succeeded.
906
00:53:30,435 --> 00:53:31,435
Maybe -
907
00:53:32,437 --> 00:53:34,857
forgetting the pill was kind of a sign?
908
00:53:36,483 --> 00:53:38,402
You may not be as ready as you think.
909
00:53:41,113 --> 00:53:43,365
I refused to say that.
910
00:53:45,284 --> 00:53:46,743
I don't remember that.
911
00:53:49,872 --> 00:53:51,665
I think I said so many things.
912
00:53:53,333 --> 00:53:55,335
That's the problem with the chemotherapy brain.
913
00:53:57,004 --> 00:54:00,382
My memory fails me
and I get confused so easily.
914
00:54:02,801 --> 00:54:06,430
It can go on
even after stopping treatment -
915
00:54:06,555 --> 00:54:07,890
for years.
916
00:54:09,308 --> 00:54:10,809
At least I can save myself from that.
917
00:54:13,937 --> 00:54:14,937
When I write,
918
00:54:16,356 --> 00:54:17,356
when i wrote
919
00:54:19,234 --> 00:54:21,570
i had to proofread a thousand times.
920
00:54:22,112 --> 00:54:24,698
I can no longer trust my judgment.
921
00:54:26,450 --> 00:54:29,036
Then why do you trust this decision?
922
00:54:29,995 --> 00:54:32,206
how do you know
isn't it also due to chemotherapy?
923
00:54:33,916 --> 00:54:37,252
I have put the pill in the top drawer of the table.
924
00:54:38,337 --> 00:54:39,505
If I forget,
925
00:54:39,588 --> 00:54:40,756
what i don't believe
926
00:54:41,340 --> 00:54:42,341
you remind me
927
00:54:43,592 --> 00:54:46,094
And I don't want to talk about this anymore.
928
00:54:46,803 --> 00:54:49,598
Isn't that my business too?
929
00:54:53,310 --> 00:54:54,728
Sure. Of course.
930
00:54:57,272 --> 00:54:59,483
I'll leave the signed letter with the police -
931
00:54:59,566 --> 00:55:00,776
telling them everything
932
00:55:00,859 --> 00:55:03,862
also the name of the pill and the place of purchase.
933
00:55:04,780 --> 00:55:07,533
Your name doesn't appear anywhere.
934
00:55:08,742 --> 00:55:11,954
All you have to do is say
that you don't know anything.
935
00:55:12,412 --> 00:55:13,914
Don't sweat it.
936
00:55:15,415 --> 00:55:17,417
I don't want to say more.
937
00:55:17,501 --> 00:55:18,836
That's better.
938
00:55:21,046 --> 00:55:22,381
And this is important.
939
00:55:28,387 --> 00:55:30,305
I sleep with the door open,
940
00:55:30,931 --> 00:55:32,891
and the day it's closed,
941
00:55:33,809 --> 00:55:35,519
there is a day when it has already happened.
942
00:55:36,311 --> 00:55:38,397
It's a sign, door closed.
943
00:55:44,319 --> 00:55:46,029
I know it's hard.
944
00:55:48,991 --> 00:55:50,826
But think we are on vacation.
945
00:55:52,578 --> 00:55:55,497
You can write, we can come and go...
946
00:55:56,540 --> 00:55:58,041
I can hardly concentrate.
947
00:56:00,586 --> 00:56:01,586
And if I write,
948
00:56:02,129 --> 00:56:04,381
you might appear in the text and I don't want that.
949
00:56:04,464 --> 00:56:05,507
So.
950
00:56:05,632 --> 00:56:09,303
It could complicate your life,
if there is an investigation.
951
00:56:09,386 --> 00:56:10,386
I don't do that.
952
00:56:10,721 --> 00:56:12,014
Wait till I die.
953
00:56:12,097 --> 00:56:13,097
Oh heaven!
954
00:56:14,349 --> 00:56:17,853
Can you not say
"wait until I die"?
955
00:56:20,355 --> 00:56:21,398
I promise it.
956
00:56:24,193 --> 00:56:25,736
I would like to find a gym -
957
00:56:25,819 --> 00:56:27,362
a couple of days a week.
958
00:56:29,781 --> 00:56:30,908
Only I eat
959
00:56:30,991 --> 00:56:33,118
and I don't want to gain weight while you're wasting away.
960
00:56:33,202 --> 00:56:34,703
Now give it a chance.
961
00:56:34,786 --> 00:56:35,954
I'll catch you.
962
00:56:39,708 --> 00:56:41,001
Look! I'm eating.
963
00:56:43,337 --> 00:56:45,714
I'm in practice
held death in my hands.
964
00:56:47,883 --> 00:56:50,844
I never imagined
that it would be so light.
965
00:57:27,089 --> 00:57:28,089
Martha?
966
00:57:32,636 --> 00:57:33,512
Good morning.
967
00:57:33,595 --> 00:57:34,638
Good morning!
968
00:57:35,347 --> 00:57:36,515
I'm making breakfast.
969
00:57:37,891 --> 00:57:38,891
Will you have some toast?
970
00:57:38,976 --> 00:57:40,811
No, just coffee.
971
00:57:40,894 --> 00:57:42,229
Take it, it's ready.
972
00:57:42,312 --> 00:57:44,064
There is juice, fruit,
973
00:57:44,815 --> 00:57:45,815
whatever you want.
974
00:57:51,488 --> 00:57:53,740
My behavior yesterday was unacceptable.
975
00:57:54,950 --> 00:57:57,744
I completely understand,
that it got you off your feet.
976
00:57:59,079 --> 00:58:00,247
But in this mode -
977
00:58:00,664 --> 00:58:02,416
I can't promise anything.
978
00:58:03,333 --> 00:58:04,501
So just in case...
979
00:58:07,504 --> 00:58:10,048
I put a sedative
to this box.
980
00:58:10,841 --> 00:58:12,467
If I'm intolerable,
981
00:58:12,551 --> 00:58:16,013
take one and relax.
982
00:58:16,096 --> 00:58:17,472
It would have been necessary in the evening.
983
00:58:19,391 --> 00:58:21,810
You are one of a kind, Martha.
You really are.
984
00:58:24,062 --> 00:58:25,981
I made a shopping list.
985
00:58:26,064 --> 00:58:27,441
We need a few things.
986
00:58:28,984 --> 00:58:29,985
Do you want something?
987
00:58:31,612 --> 00:58:32,696
I don't think so.
988
00:58:34,239 --> 00:58:35,616
Will you come to the store with me?
989
00:58:37,910 --> 00:58:38,910
Maybe another day.
990
00:58:39,745 --> 00:58:40,913
It's so nice here.
991
00:58:42,164 --> 00:58:44,374
I'd stay here if you don't mind.
992
00:58:44,458 --> 00:58:45,709
Of course not.
993
00:58:48,045 --> 00:58:50,589
I also found a gym nearby.
994
00:58:51,215 --> 00:58:52,216
That's great.
995
00:58:52,758 --> 00:58:54,301
I think that's a good idea.
996
00:58:57,679 --> 00:58:58,764
Well then.
997
00:59:00,349 --> 00:59:02,559
I'll take my phone if you need anything.
998
00:59:03,435 --> 00:59:04,435
Thank you, honey.
999
00:59:21,161 --> 00:59:23,080
I was hoping to go to the gym today.
1000
00:59:23,163 --> 00:59:24,163
Are you a member?
1001
00:59:24,206 --> 00:59:25,707
No, I'm just visiting here.
1002
00:59:25,791 --> 00:59:27,751
If you use our gym instructor,
1003
00:59:27,876 --> 00:59:28,961
no need to be a member.
1004
00:59:29,711 --> 00:59:31,505
All right, then I'll use it.
1005
00:59:31,588 --> 00:59:33,340
I'm sure you'll like Jonah.
1006
00:59:34,341 --> 00:59:35,175
Thanks.
1007
00:59:35,259 --> 00:59:38,136
Do you want to start warming up?
with steps?
1008
00:59:38,220 --> 00:59:39,555
- All right.
- That's okay?
1009
00:59:40,013 --> 00:59:43,016
Can you do this for 30 seconds?
1010
00:59:44,017 --> 00:59:45,811
- Yes, I guess.
- Well, try it.
1011
00:59:46,895 --> 00:59:49,398
And leaves. Good.
1012
00:59:49,481 --> 00:59:50,524
Focus on the leg.
1013
00:59:50,983 --> 00:59:52,401
If you can, move your hand...
1014
00:59:52,484 --> 00:59:53,819
- All right.
- With every step.
1015
00:59:55,195 --> 00:59:56,195
And that was it.
1016
00:59:56,905 --> 01:00:00,075
Great. You're pretty strong, girl.
1017
01:00:00,325 --> 01:00:01,618
I'm out of breath.
1018
01:00:01,743 --> 01:00:04,288
If you want, we can make different versions.
1019
01:00:05,914 --> 01:00:07,374
You can go like this.
1020
01:00:07,457 --> 01:00:08,917
Back and forth.
1021
01:00:09,626 --> 01:00:11,962
Or jump left -
1022
01:00:12,671 --> 01:00:15,257
and right and back on.
1023
01:00:15,340 --> 01:00:16,884
- All right.
- Try again.
1024
01:00:18,385 --> 01:00:19,385
Good.
1025
01:00:20,137 --> 01:00:21,471
Focus on the core.
1026
01:00:21,847 --> 01:00:22,847
And breathe.
1027
01:00:24,641 --> 01:00:26,226
In and out.
1028
01:00:28,812 --> 01:00:29,897
Great. Another.
1029
01:00:34,026 --> 01:00:35,026
Is everything okay?
1030
01:00:40,407 --> 01:00:42,910
When the body is healthy,
takes longer to die.
1031
01:00:46,079 --> 01:00:47,372
When death comes,
1032
01:00:47,456 --> 01:00:49,958
the mind wants to leave, but the body fights.
1033
01:00:50,792 --> 01:00:53,462
The heart beats "no" with every beat.
1034
01:00:54,379 --> 01:00:55,379
That...
1035
01:00:55,797 --> 01:00:57,758
all the better reason to take care of yourself.
1036
01:00:58,926 --> 01:01:01,345
- I live with my dying friend.
- I'll take part.
1037
01:01:02,513 --> 01:01:04,431
Let's sit down.
1038
01:01:05,015 --> 01:01:06,016
Come here.
1039
01:01:10,354 --> 01:01:12,272
Is there anything I can do?
1040
01:01:18,695 --> 01:01:19,905
If only I could hug, -
1041
01:01:21,114 --> 01:01:23,116
but we are no longer allowed to touch customers -
1042
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:25,452
because of lawsuits and other things.
1043
01:01:28,747 --> 01:01:29,790
That's the problem, -
1044
01:01:31,208 --> 01:01:32,584
it's hard to fix -
1045
01:01:32,668 --> 01:01:34,294
human posture with just words, -
1046
01:01:34,962 --> 01:01:36,797
and touch is so important.
1047
01:01:38,131 --> 01:01:40,133
The world is absurd and inhuman.
1048
01:01:40,759 --> 01:01:43,053
I don't think it will improve very soon.
1049
01:01:45,430 --> 01:01:47,015
But thanks, I felt the hug.
1050
01:01:55,274 --> 01:01:57,192
I have been meaning to read this book.
1051
01:01:57,943 --> 01:02:00,737
Lovely name, isn't it? Erotic Vagrancy.
1052
01:02:00,821 --> 01:02:01,822
Do you want to buy it?
1053
01:02:04,199 --> 01:02:05,576
I wouldn't have time to finish reading.
1054
01:02:12,916 --> 01:02:14,710
I like the layout of the books.
1055
01:02:15,878 --> 01:02:16,878
Look.
1056
01:02:17,504 --> 01:02:18,755
Martha Gellhorn.
1057
01:02:19,798 --> 01:02:21,300
The View from the Ground.
1058
01:02:23,802 --> 01:02:25,095
He wrote that -
1059
01:02:25,179 --> 01:02:27,472
it loves only one war, -
1060
01:02:28,140 --> 01:02:30,100
after that he just does his duty.
1061
01:02:32,352 --> 01:02:33,729
What was yours?
1062
01:02:35,397 --> 01:02:37,316
Bosnia, without a doubt.
1063
01:02:43,071 --> 01:02:45,949
The Bosnians' Struggle for Survival -
1064
01:02:46,033 --> 01:02:47,993
against a fully equipped army
1065
01:02:48,994 --> 01:02:50,579
stole the heart from us all, -
1066
01:02:50,662 --> 01:02:52,539
which witnessed disposal.
1067
01:02:53,207 --> 01:02:55,918
Female war correspondents
is little.
1068
01:02:57,336 --> 01:02:59,129
War is for men.
1069
01:02:59,922 --> 01:03:02,049
You kind of have to become one of the men,
1070
01:03:02,132 --> 01:03:04,009
and it wasn't a problem for me.
1071
01:03:04,092 --> 01:03:05,719
I've always lived like a man.
1072
01:03:06,386 --> 01:03:10,432
I think Michelle
really missed it
1073
01:03:11,350 --> 01:03:13,894
that he would have a mother figure in his life.
1074
01:03:14,853 --> 01:03:19,399
In that, I must admit, he was right.
1075
01:03:20,192 --> 01:03:21,735
Don't be so hard on yourself.
1076
01:03:26,824 --> 01:03:29,117
Hey, look who's coming here!
1077
01:03:29,535 --> 01:03:31,119
The spirit of the party!
1078
01:03:31,537 --> 01:03:32,871
"How bad can it get?"
1079
01:03:33,539 --> 01:03:35,541
"Dignified navigation in urban life."
1080
01:03:35,624 --> 01:03:36,458
Would you like to go?
1081
01:03:36,542 --> 01:03:38,377
I've heard it already, -
1082
01:03:38,460 --> 01:03:40,295
and I wouldn't want to repeat that night.
1083
01:03:40,379 --> 01:03:42,381
We all have our own apocalypses.
1084
01:03:42,464 --> 01:03:44,550
Are you terrible with me?
1085
01:03:44,633 --> 01:03:47,261
No. I meant him, his lecture.
1086
01:03:47,344 --> 01:03:49,638
- Global crisis, climate change.
- Yes.
1087
01:03:50,597 --> 01:03:51,597
Hello.
1088
01:03:51,849 --> 01:03:52,891
Lovely hair.
1089
01:03:53,600 --> 01:03:54,600
Nice.
1090
01:04:05,654 --> 01:04:07,656
When the nightmares arrive,
1091
01:04:08,782 --> 01:04:11,326
I think of all the men I love.
1092
01:04:11,410 --> 01:04:12,911
Sounds like a song.
1093
01:04:14,079 --> 01:04:15,079
Good.
1094
01:04:17,332 --> 01:04:19,293
Even if only for one night.
1095
01:04:21,503 --> 01:04:23,422
Sometimes I think about Damian.
1096
01:04:28,635 --> 01:04:30,679
I still think that sex is the best way to -
1097
01:04:30,762 --> 01:04:33,056
banishes threatening thoughts of death.
1098
01:04:34,641 --> 01:04:36,727
Like those
with the Spanish Carmelites.
1099
01:04:38,729 --> 01:04:41,440
Wars made me
a woman with light shoes.
1100
01:04:41,523 --> 01:04:42,523
Good.
1101
01:04:45,277 --> 01:04:46,320
Are you still in touch?
1102
01:04:46,862 --> 01:04:48,489
- To whom?
- To Damian.
1103
01:04:51,492 --> 01:04:52,784
Occasionally.
1104
01:04:55,412 --> 01:04:57,331
"How bad can it get?"
1105
01:04:59,791 --> 01:05:00,791
Well...
1106
01:05:01,835 --> 01:05:03,754
much worse than you can imagine,
1107
01:05:03,837 --> 01:05:04,838
Damian gold.
1108
01:05:08,509 --> 01:05:09,509
Hello.
1109
01:05:10,802 --> 01:05:11,802
how are you
1110
01:05:12,721 --> 01:05:13,847
I tried to write.
1111
01:05:15,557 --> 01:05:16,557
I can't.
1112
01:05:19,770 --> 01:05:23,315
In this war
I can't write anything.
1113
01:05:23,899 --> 01:05:25,025
What about reading?
1114
01:05:26,318 --> 01:05:27,318
You loved to read.
1115
01:05:28,111 --> 01:05:29,279
I have tried.
1116
01:05:30,989 --> 01:05:33,367
Books by some of my favorite authors.
1117
01:05:35,494 --> 01:05:37,955
That magic is gone.
1118
01:05:40,874 --> 01:05:42,668
I mean Faulkner,
1119
01:05:44,044 --> 01:05:45,044
Hemingway.
1120
01:05:47,047 --> 01:05:48,465
I can't concentrate.
1121
01:05:50,050 --> 01:05:53,387
My mind just flies into nothingness.
1122
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:56,223
If you are too tired,
1123
01:05:57,850 --> 01:05:58,850
i could read to you
1124
01:06:01,854 --> 01:06:02,855
Not just reading,
1125
01:06:04,439 --> 01:06:06,400
all pleasure is diminished.
1126
01:06:08,986 --> 01:06:12,447
It's hard to know
what to pay attention to anymore.
1127
01:06:15,701 --> 01:06:17,035
My time is very short,
1128
01:06:18,162 --> 01:06:19,496
and I don't want to waste it.
1129
01:06:21,665 --> 01:06:22,665
All right.
1130
01:06:26,587 --> 01:06:29,631
What about the music?
1131
01:06:32,467 --> 01:06:34,595
I can only listen to birdsong.
1132
01:06:35,888 --> 01:06:38,807
Fortunately, we hear their serenade
every day.
1133
01:06:39,141 --> 01:06:41,602
Music disturbs my concentration.
1134
01:06:42,311 --> 01:06:45,147
It comes between me and my chores,
1135
01:06:45,230 --> 01:06:46,773
even if it's just a thought.
1136
01:06:48,233 --> 01:06:51,403
Maybe the chemo is affecting my hearing.
1137
01:06:51,487 --> 01:06:52,654
Oh dear.
1138
01:06:53,780 --> 01:06:56,700
I have shrunk
into a very small part of myself.
1139
01:07:05,292 --> 01:07:08,420
I miss the peace of body and mind.
1140
01:07:11,215 --> 01:07:14,343
And just get to talk
when the memories overwhelm me.
1141
01:07:15,552 --> 01:07:16,803
Am I talking too much?
1142
01:07:16,929 --> 01:07:18,972
You don't. talk as much as you want
1143
01:07:19,056 --> 01:07:20,557
it's lovely to listen to you.
1144
01:07:36,532 --> 01:07:39,159
THURSDAY, APRIL 25
1145
01:10:05,514 --> 01:10:06,515
What now?
1146
01:10:07,182 --> 01:10:08,182
What is it?
1147
01:10:11,645 --> 01:10:13,730
Your door was closed so I thought...
1148
01:10:15,232 --> 01:10:17,192
I'm terribly sorry.
1149
01:10:17,734 --> 01:10:19,528
I opened the window,
1150
01:10:20,112 --> 01:10:21,905
and the wind must have closed it.
1151
01:10:21,989 --> 01:10:23,073
Oh my god!
1152
01:10:30,372 --> 01:10:32,249
Is it fair to be mad at me
1153
01:10:32,332 --> 01:10:33,876
because I'm still alive?
1154
01:10:37,212 --> 01:10:39,214
Think of it as exercise.
1155
01:10:40,799 --> 01:10:42,551
Now you know what it's like.
1156
01:10:43,844 --> 01:10:45,387
You know how that feels.
1157
01:10:47,306 --> 01:10:49,141
You have to make phone calls -
1158
01:10:49,683 --> 01:10:52,269
and act as we spoke.
1159
01:10:53,228 --> 01:10:55,063
You didn't know anything
1160
01:10:56,064 --> 01:10:57,399
and we were on vacation...
1161
01:10:57,483 --> 01:10:59,193
Please stop!
1162
01:11:00,944 --> 01:11:01,944
All right.
1163
01:12:05,342 --> 01:12:06,635
{\an8}LETTER FROM AN UNKNOWN WOMAN
1164
01:12:11,849 --> 01:12:13,225
Shall we go to sleep?
1165
01:12:15,352 --> 01:12:17,980
Or does the maiden want
still watch movies?
1166
01:12:19,815 --> 01:12:22,734
Did you say they have Memories?
1167
01:12:24,069 --> 01:12:25,154
Or did I dream?
1168
01:12:25,612 --> 01:12:27,197
They have it.
1169
01:12:28,448 --> 01:12:29,448
Do you want to watch it?
1170
01:12:30,075 --> 01:12:31,243
Yes, please.
1171
01:12:31,618 --> 01:12:32,703
Now.
1172
01:12:40,752 --> 01:12:42,254
MEMORIES
1173
01:12:47,259 --> 01:12:49,553
Yes, the newspapers are right.
1174
01:12:50,554 --> 01:12:53,765
Snow is common all over Ireland.
1175
01:12:54,266 --> 01:12:57,853
It rains all over the gloomy central plain,
1176
01:12:57,936 --> 01:13:00,397
on barren hills.
1177
01:13:01,231 --> 01:13:03,734
Softly to Allen's peat bog -
1178
01:13:04,401 --> 01:13:08,113
and further west,
softly descending -
1179
01:13:08,197 --> 01:13:12,284
For thedark rebels
to Shannon's waves.
1180
01:13:13,410 --> 01:13:16,330
One at a time
we all become shadows.
1181
01:13:18,957 --> 01:13:20,751
It's snowing,
1182
01:13:22,377 --> 01:13:24,463
it's raining on that lonely churchyard,
1183
01:13:24,546 --> 01:13:26,381
where Michael Furey rests buried.
1184
01:13:28,425 --> 01:13:30,427
Falling softly through the universe -
1185
01:13:30,511 --> 01:13:32,596
landing quietly -
1186
01:13:33,722 --> 01:13:36,266
as his last descent -
1187
01:13:37,976 --> 01:13:41,188
over everything living and dead.
1188
01:14:00,666 --> 01:14:01,750
Do you hear them?
1189
01:14:11,760 --> 01:14:13,053
The day is coming...
1190
01:14:18,016 --> 01:14:19,016
and you are alive.
1191
01:14:30,070 --> 01:14:31,697
- This is too much.
- Is it?
1192
01:14:31,780 --> 01:14:33,907
- This is tougher than I thought.
- All right.
1193
01:14:36,535 --> 01:14:37,786
I have to sit down.
1194
01:14:37,870 --> 01:14:40,080
Clear. Let's go sit here.
1195
01:14:40,622 --> 01:14:42,124
I'll help.
1196
01:14:46,461 --> 01:14:48,714
I'll accept. Now.
1197
01:14:49,798 --> 01:14:50,798
Now.
1198
01:14:52,217 --> 01:14:53,385
Clear.
1199
01:14:57,222 --> 01:14:58,891
- Much better.
- Good.
1200
01:15:02,978 --> 01:15:05,439
Before coming here, I made a new will.
1201
01:15:06,440 --> 01:15:08,817
Let's not talk about this now.
1202
01:15:10,402 --> 01:15:11,528
I'm leaving the apartment -
1203
01:15:11,612 --> 01:15:14,198
and everything there for Michelle and you.
1204
01:15:20,037 --> 01:15:22,164
I found your war diary in your drawer.
1205
01:15:23,332 --> 01:15:25,167
What do you want them to do?
1206
01:15:25,834 --> 01:15:27,085
Can I read them?
1207
01:15:27,753 --> 01:15:29,171
Of course you can read them.
1208
01:15:32,633 --> 01:15:33,842
May I tell your story?
1209
01:15:34,468 --> 01:15:35,594
You get to do whatever you want.
1210
01:15:36,762 --> 01:15:37,930
I won't be here then.
1211
01:15:40,224 --> 01:15:41,224
Can I say this?
1212
01:15:41,725 --> 01:15:42,725
You don't.
1213
01:15:43,936 --> 01:15:44,937
All right.
1214
01:16:39,158 --> 01:16:40,909
Let's not talk about this now.
1215
01:16:42,202 --> 01:16:44,705
Alright, see you there. Bye.
1216
01:16:51,837 --> 01:16:52,837
Dear Ingrid...
1217
01:16:53,630 --> 01:16:57,926
Such a beautiful day today,
that I felt...
1218
01:16:59,845 --> 01:17:00,845
Hello.
1219
01:17:01,221 --> 01:17:02,472
Hello.
1220
01:17:02,556 --> 01:17:04,433
- Is everything okay?
- It is.
1221
01:17:04,516 --> 01:17:06,560
This breath of wind is wonderful.
1222
01:17:06,643 --> 01:17:08,812
Be careful, it's a bit chilly.
1223
01:17:11,607 --> 01:17:13,817
Unless you need me, I'm going to the gym.
1224
01:17:13,942 --> 01:17:15,235
But I can stay if you want.
1225
01:17:15,319 --> 01:17:17,529
No, just go. I don't want to be a prankster.
1226
01:17:17,613 --> 01:17:20,491
You are not a prankster. You have been kind.
1227
01:17:21,492 --> 01:17:23,827
Have you talked to your coach about me?
1228
01:17:26,538 --> 01:17:28,874
Well... it came up.
1229
01:17:29,541 --> 01:17:31,752
I was talking about being in good shape -
1230
01:17:31,835 --> 01:17:34,838
and about how the heart beats to survive.
1231
01:17:34,922 --> 01:17:37,966
About what you talked about in the hospital.
1232
01:17:38,050 --> 01:17:40,219
He looked at me like I was crazy,
1233
01:17:40,302 --> 01:17:43,597
so i said
that I have a sick friend.
1234
01:17:44,973 --> 01:17:49,895
Remember you don't know anything about anything.
1235
01:17:55,359 --> 01:17:57,069
Come here and give me a kiss.
1236
01:17:59,738 --> 01:18:01,031
- Are you okay?
- I'll be fine.
1237
01:18:23,929 --> 01:18:25,180
- Hello.
- Hello.
1238
01:18:30,644 --> 01:18:32,771
I lied to him, I don't like it.
1239
01:18:32,855 --> 01:18:35,232
- You need to practice.
- Are you lying?
1240
01:18:35,315 --> 01:18:39,027
So. Officially
you don't know about Martha's intentions.
1241
01:18:39,611 --> 01:18:40,611
So.
1242
01:18:40,654 --> 01:18:43,115
I found a lawyer if you need one.
1243
01:18:43,198 --> 01:18:45,242
Thanks. Not talking about it now.
1244
01:18:46,243 --> 01:18:47,369
How was your lecture?
1245
01:18:48,871 --> 01:18:52,040
They were not happy,
that I didn't want questions.
1246
01:18:53,500 --> 01:18:54,500
Finally -
1247
01:18:55,961 --> 01:18:59,006
started muttering,
and someone called me a coward.
1248
01:18:59,089 --> 01:19:00,799
It doesn't bother me.
1249
01:19:00,883 --> 01:19:03,010
I spent too much time -
1250
01:19:03,093 --> 01:19:05,179
to care about my reputation, and why?
1251
01:19:05,804 --> 01:19:08,015
What do you do with the time you got back?
1252
01:19:08,098 --> 01:19:10,642
Are you doing more of what you love?
1253
01:19:11,977 --> 01:19:14,438
I have to admit,
that my interest in things -
1254
01:19:14,521 --> 01:19:16,899
has shrunk as I get older.
1255
01:19:18,525 --> 01:19:20,736
Martha said the same thing a couple of days ago.
1256
01:19:20,819 --> 01:19:23,322
There are so few things
which he can enjoy.
1257
01:19:23,405 --> 01:19:24,405
I see.
1258
01:19:26,408 --> 01:19:27,743
But you're not sick.
1259
01:19:27,868 --> 01:19:30,245
But I feel the same
especially after the pandemic.
1260
01:19:30,329 --> 01:19:32,623
I don't go to movies or listen to music.
1261
01:19:33,499 --> 01:19:34,500
I read a lot,
1262
01:19:35,250 --> 01:19:37,169
but only related to my lectures.
1263
01:19:37,753 --> 01:19:39,671
Do you still go to galleries? You loved it.
1264
01:19:39,796 --> 01:19:41,215
We went together all the time -
1265
01:19:41,298 --> 01:19:43,550
and we talked about the power of art.
1266
01:19:43,634 --> 01:19:44,634
Do you still like it?
1267
01:19:45,761 --> 01:19:48,430
Although every poet
would write a poem -
1268
01:19:48,514 --> 01:19:50,933
about the climate crisis,
no tree would be spared.
1269
01:19:51,016 --> 01:19:53,101
After all, you are still interested in trees.
1270
01:19:53,185 --> 01:19:54,812
I am also interested in sex.
1271
01:19:54,895 --> 01:19:56,563
Then it won't be too bad.
1272
01:19:56,688 --> 01:19:59,107
when i was young
1273
01:19:59,191 --> 01:20:03,111
if a day went by without sex,
it was lacking.
1274
01:20:03,195 --> 01:20:04,196
I remember that.
1275
01:20:04,279 --> 01:20:06,990
I'm not nostalgic
1276
01:20:07,074 --> 01:20:09,409
but i miss the evenings
when we drank -
1277
01:20:10,494 --> 01:20:13,080
and we used drugs
we had sex, -
1278
01:20:13,163 --> 01:20:14,623
and it didn't take our attention away from it,
1279
01:20:14,706 --> 01:20:16,124
what we really wanted to do.
1280
01:20:16,208 --> 01:20:18,627
You drank and did drugs.
1281
01:20:18,752 --> 01:20:21,088
At least more than me.
1282
01:20:21,171 --> 01:20:23,298
I don't know about your drinking, but you always seemed to -
1283
01:20:23,382 --> 01:20:25,342
as mobile as the rest of us.
1284
01:20:26,134 --> 01:20:28,387
But you were an integral part of the party.
1285
01:20:29,388 --> 01:20:31,056
Until you got bored -
1286
01:20:31,139 --> 01:20:32,891
and you went to Europe.
1287
01:20:34,309 --> 01:20:35,561
Do you want to talk about it?
1288
01:20:36,937 --> 01:20:37,937
Tell me about your lecture.
1289
01:20:39,439 --> 01:20:42,818
I admit that I have become a monomaniac.
1290
01:20:43,819 --> 01:20:45,737
My son won't talk to me anymore
1291
01:20:45,821 --> 01:20:48,115
because I didn't hide my shock about it,
1292
01:20:48,198 --> 01:20:50,784
that his wife is expecting a child again.
1293
01:20:50,868 --> 01:20:52,119
Gotta keep the wife,
1294
01:20:52,202 --> 01:20:53,453
that she will not miscarry.
1295
01:20:53,537 --> 01:20:55,122
What? how can you say
1296
01:20:55,205 --> 01:20:56,248
that the other child doesn't go?
1297
01:20:56,373 --> 01:20:57,541
Their third!
1298
01:20:58,834 --> 01:21:00,919
What is the next logical option?
1299
01:21:01,003 --> 01:21:02,337
Mass suicide of people?
1300
01:21:02,462 --> 01:21:04,673
People should start realizing -
1301
01:21:04,756 --> 01:21:06,925
the state of their home planet.
1302
01:21:08,886 --> 01:21:11,930
Maybe this isn't the best topic for you.
1303
01:21:12,014 --> 01:21:15,684
You live with a dying woman in a world,
1304
01:21:15,767 --> 01:21:17,978
who is also in his spirits.
1305
01:21:20,355 --> 01:21:22,983
Do you find the situation so desperate?
1306
01:21:23,066 --> 01:21:24,568
I like. Read the studies -
1307
01:21:24,651 --> 01:21:26,445
so you can see what the world is doing with them.
1308
01:21:27,696 --> 01:21:31,617
Ta is released into the air
more than ever.
1309
01:21:31,700 --> 01:21:32,951
Sooner or later,
1310
01:21:33,452 --> 01:21:35,204
and I'm afraid that sooner,
1311
01:21:35,287 --> 01:21:38,415
all this will be destroyed.
1312
01:21:38,499 --> 01:21:42,127
Nothing hastened the end of the planet -
1313
01:21:42,211 --> 01:21:45,172
more than neoliberalism -
1314
01:21:45,255 --> 01:21:46,840
and the rise of the far right.
1315
01:21:46,924 --> 01:21:50,802
Both are here,
marching side by side.
1316
01:21:53,972 --> 01:21:57,100
Sorry, I didn't mean to depress,
1317
01:21:58,393 --> 01:22:00,062
but I get annoyed by this.
1318
01:22:00,687 --> 01:22:03,649
You can't pander to people,
that there is no hope.
1319
01:22:03,732 --> 01:22:05,150
It's tragic.
1320
01:22:05,859 --> 01:22:08,487
Maybe I'm sorry to say so,
1321
01:22:08,570 --> 01:22:10,739
but I've completely lost my faith,
1322
01:22:10,823 --> 01:22:12,449
that people would do the right thing.
1323
01:22:12,574 --> 01:22:13,700
I live every day -
1324
01:22:13,784 --> 01:22:15,577
waiting to find Martha's body,
1325
01:22:15,661 --> 01:22:17,162
but that doesn't stop me -
1326
01:22:17,246 --> 01:22:19,373
enjoying every moment
with him
1327
01:22:19,456 --> 01:22:20,958
vice versa.
1328
01:22:21,750 --> 01:22:24,211
I learned from him and you should too,
1329
01:22:25,128 --> 01:22:28,048
for there are many ways to live in tragedy.
1330
01:22:30,008 --> 01:22:31,969
Of course it's painful,
1331
01:22:32,678 --> 01:22:34,721
but i can handle it.
1332
01:22:35,806 --> 01:22:40,060
I try to live with the same joy as him,
1333
01:22:40,811 --> 01:22:42,771
and with the same gratitude, so -
1334
01:22:43,689 --> 01:22:45,691
I miss that kind of talk the least.
1335
01:22:46,608 --> 01:22:48,068
I've always admired you for that.
1336
01:22:49,361 --> 01:22:50,279
Whence?
1337
01:22:50,362 --> 01:22:53,407
You are one of the few who know how to suffer -
1338
01:22:53,490 --> 01:22:56,076
without making others feel
guilt about it.
1339
01:23:38,744 --> 01:23:40,704
Do you think it will take long?
1340
01:23:40,787 --> 01:23:43,832
Not much longer. Any day.
1341
01:23:45,209 --> 01:23:47,044
You have to be ready.
1342
01:23:47,127 --> 01:23:48,670
I know the cops.
1343
01:23:48,754 --> 01:23:50,547
Asking all kinds of questions,
1344
01:23:50,631 --> 01:23:53,467
digging into your relationship like scavengers.
1345
01:23:53,550 --> 01:23:55,302
You need a mental handle.
1346
01:23:55,385 --> 01:23:57,262
I have one.
1347
01:23:58,263 --> 01:24:01,183
Good. Stay strong and stick to your story.
1348
01:24:01,266 --> 01:24:02,810
And when that happens,
1349
01:24:02,893 --> 01:24:05,562
call the police before me.
1350
01:24:05,646 --> 01:24:06,730
I call my daughter -
1351
01:24:06,814 --> 01:24:08,273
before you.
1352
01:24:08,398 --> 01:24:10,734
Fine, but think carefully about what you say.
1353
01:24:10,818 --> 01:24:13,529
I had to tell
to that lawyer about the situation.
1354
01:24:13,612 --> 01:24:16,198
Why do you have to go through this
like criminals?
1355
01:24:17,032 --> 01:24:18,659
Shouldn't the dying have the right to -
1356
01:24:18,742 --> 01:24:20,077
end his life with dignity?
1357
01:24:20,160 --> 01:24:22,496
then there is
when our faltering healthcare -
1358
01:24:22,579 --> 01:24:24,039
collapse completely.
1359
01:25:01,243 --> 01:25:02,243
Martha?
1360
01:25:22,723 --> 01:25:23,723
{\an8}Dear Ingrid...
1361
01:25:24,641 --> 01:25:26,977
{\an8}Such a beautiful day today,
1362
01:25:27,436 --> 01:25:30,189
{\an8}that I felt
that it is my moment to leave.
1363
01:25:31,023 --> 01:25:34,151
I was comforted that you weren't downstairs,
1364
01:25:34,776 --> 01:25:36,612
even if it was an idea.
1365
01:25:37,112 --> 01:25:39,823
But you know I always improvise,
1366
01:25:40,741 --> 01:25:42,534
and I'm almost happy,
1367
01:25:42,618 --> 01:25:44,912
that when I'm lounging in the sun lounger,
1368
01:25:45,787 --> 01:25:47,581
you are out in the world -
1369
01:25:47,664 --> 01:25:50,375
experiencing something different from my death.
1370
01:25:51,793 --> 01:25:55,005
No one can blame you
about participation.
1371
01:25:56,048 --> 01:25:58,509
You have been my company so much -
1372
01:25:58,592 --> 01:26:00,761
as anyone can be in the company of another.
1373
01:26:02,763 --> 01:26:05,724
Call my daughter and say,
that I'm sorry.
1374
01:26:07,017 --> 01:26:09,186
And thank you, dear.
1375
01:26:34,920 --> 01:26:35,963
Martha.
1376
01:26:39,842 --> 01:26:41,301
I'll do whatever you want.
1377
01:27:08,996 --> 01:27:11,665
After dinner
we watched Buster Keaton.
1378
01:27:11,748 --> 01:27:13,041
I already told you.
1379
01:27:13,125 --> 01:27:15,210
Didn't you notice anything strange,
1380
01:27:15,294 --> 01:27:17,588
what would have made you suspect?
1381
01:27:20,007 --> 01:27:20,924
Try to remember.
1382
01:27:21,008 --> 01:27:23,927
I totally remember it. It was a fun night.
1383
01:27:24,011 --> 01:27:26,805
No gestures? Didn't he say anything?
1384
01:27:26,889 --> 01:27:29,725
We said good night,
then i went upstairs -
1385
01:27:29,808 --> 01:27:32,311
and I stayed up late reading a book,
1386
01:27:32,394 --> 01:27:35,022
recommended by Martha, Erotic Vagrancy.
1387
01:27:35,105 --> 01:27:37,858
of Elizabeth Taylor
and of Richard Burton.
1388
01:27:37,941 --> 01:27:39,401
- Do you know that?
- I don't.
1389
01:27:39,485 --> 01:27:42,070
It was really fun for both of us.
1390
01:27:42,154 --> 01:27:44,406
Just try to answer my questions.
1391
01:27:48,452 --> 01:27:49,828
What did you do the next morning?
1392
01:27:52,247 --> 01:27:53,457
I had lunch with a friend.
1393
01:27:54,500 --> 01:27:56,668
When I got back I called Martha,
1394
01:27:56,752 --> 01:27:58,420
and when he didn't answer,
1395
01:27:58,504 --> 01:27:59,588
i went to his room.
1396
01:28:00,380 --> 01:28:01,423
He wasn't there
1397
01:28:02,424 --> 01:28:03,675
so i went to the backyard
1398
01:28:04,343 --> 01:28:06,512
when I saw him.
1399
01:28:06,595 --> 01:28:08,222
At first I thought he was sleeping -
1400
01:28:08,305 --> 01:28:09,389
with a sun lounger.
1401
01:28:09,473 --> 01:28:12,309
I got very nervous and called an ambulance.
1402
01:28:12,392 --> 01:28:15,562
They came quickly, and the paramedics -
1403
01:28:15,646 --> 01:28:17,981
said there was nothing they could do.
1404
01:28:18,649 --> 01:28:20,067
You don't buy that pill by accident,
1405
01:28:20,150 --> 01:28:22,820
unless thinking about suicide or murder.
1406
01:28:22,903 --> 01:28:25,447
- You didn't know anything about it?
- From where?
1407
01:28:25,531 --> 01:28:28,116
For having that illegal substance.
1408
01:28:28,200 --> 01:28:31,703
I don't. He used painkillers,
1409
01:28:31,787 --> 01:28:33,664
patches and pills, but he -
1410
01:28:33,747 --> 01:28:35,916
did not tell me more about them.
1411
01:28:37,000 --> 01:28:38,460
It's strange
1412
01:28:38,836 --> 01:28:40,462
if you were such good friends
1413
01:28:40,546 --> 01:28:42,506
that he didn't say anything to you.
1414
01:28:43,632 --> 01:28:48,095
You can't buy that pill at a pharmacy.
1415
01:28:49,221 --> 01:28:50,681
It's very hard to get.
1416
01:28:52,099 --> 01:28:54,560
I think when he rented the house,
1417
01:28:55,310 --> 01:28:57,938
he already knew what he was going to do. Or what?
1418
01:28:58,021 --> 01:28:59,064
It is possible,
1419
01:28:59,731 --> 01:29:01,483
but he didn't tell me anything.
1420
01:29:02,484 --> 01:29:04,361
He was exhausted from the last treatment -
1421
01:29:04,444 --> 01:29:05,445
and wanted to take a break -
1422
01:29:05,529 --> 01:29:07,531
before the next cycle of chemotherapy.
1423
01:29:08,407 --> 01:29:10,075
He was not a giver.
1424
01:29:10,159 --> 01:29:11,285
Didn't he complain?
1425
01:29:12,244 --> 01:29:14,705
Didn't say anything that foreshadowed -
1426
01:29:16,456 --> 01:29:17,456
end?
1427
01:29:18,041 --> 01:29:19,293
You had a great responsibility.
1428
01:29:20,711 --> 01:29:22,296
He complained sometimes.
1429
01:29:24,798 --> 01:29:27,593
What was he complaining about? What did he say?
1430
01:29:29,261 --> 01:29:31,430
He had lost his concentration.
1431
01:29:32,723 --> 01:29:36,518
Could not read or write,
for example.
1432
01:29:38,645 --> 01:29:40,272
His life was all about survival.
1433
01:29:40,397 --> 01:29:43,734
I find it very hard to believe
1434
01:29:43,817 --> 01:29:46,195
that he didn't say anything
suspicious.
1435
01:29:46,278 --> 01:29:48,614
It was obvious that he was very ill,
1436
01:29:48,697 --> 01:29:50,157
but he wanted to take a holiday -
1437
01:29:50,240 --> 01:29:51,283
before a new treatment.
1438
01:29:51,366 --> 01:29:52,910
I already said it.
1439
01:29:54,119 --> 01:29:56,788
We also talked -
1440
01:29:56,872 --> 01:29:59,333
of some Martha
with close friends.
1441
01:30:01,084 --> 01:30:04,171
Mostly their testimony
match yours.
1442
01:30:06,298 --> 01:30:09,009
But one of them, Stella Byrne,
1443
01:30:09,092 --> 01:30:11,595
said that after finishing chemotherapy -
1444
01:30:11,720 --> 01:30:14,640
Martha asked him to accompany her -
1445
01:30:14,723 --> 01:30:17,017
to the country house,
1446
01:30:17,100 --> 01:30:19,978
where he intended to commit suicide.
1447
01:30:23,982 --> 01:30:26,193
Asked him, and I quote,
1448
01:30:27,653 --> 01:30:28,821
"to be in the next room."
1449
01:30:32,366 --> 01:30:33,909
His friend refused.
1450
01:30:34,785 --> 01:30:36,286
I wasn't in the next room,
1451
01:30:36,370 --> 01:30:37,955
but downstairs.
1452
01:30:38,038 --> 01:30:40,332
When I told Mrs. Byrne about the suicide,
1453
01:30:40,415 --> 01:30:41,834
he wasn't surprised.
1454
01:30:42,751 --> 01:30:45,462
There is another word for Martha's act,
euthanasia.
1455
01:30:45,546 --> 01:30:47,089
Tell me why you want
1456
01:30:47,214 --> 01:30:50,843
but to me your friend's act is a crime,
1457
01:30:50,926 --> 01:30:55,013
and as a police officer, as a person and as a believer -
1458
01:30:56,557 --> 01:30:59,143
I am completely against committing a crime.
1459
01:31:00,519 --> 01:31:02,563
And of course helping with that.
1460
01:31:15,534 --> 01:31:17,828
Damian, can you come to the police station?
1461
01:31:17,953 --> 01:31:19,538
This won't end.
1462
01:31:19,621 --> 01:31:23,167
Your friend Martha -
1463
01:31:23,250 --> 01:31:24,835
told everything to Mrs. Byrne,
1464
01:31:24,918 --> 01:31:27,171
but didn't tell you anything about his intentions.
1465
01:31:27,254 --> 01:31:28,964
I won't say another word.
1466
01:31:29,047 --> 01:31:31,341
If I'm arrested, read the charges.
1467
01:31:31,425 --> 01:31:33,385
Otherwise, I'll be waiting in the hallway for my lawyer.
1468
01:31:33,468 --> 01:31:34,720
Very farsighted.
1469
01:31:34,803 --> 01:31:36,263
Why did you hire a lawyer?
1470
01:31:36,346 --> 01:31:37,472
Ask your friend
1471
01:31:37,556 --> 01:31:39,224
he testified to the cross-examination.
1472
01:31:41,351 --> 01:31:42,769
You must be lying.
1473
01:31:44,396 --> 01:31:46,482
And you probably wouldn't refuse,
1474
01:31:46,565 --> 01:31:49,067
if a friend asked for help with his suicide.
1475
01:31:51,528 --> 01:31:52,571
Let him go.
1476
01:32:01,830 --> 01:32:02,830
Hello.
1477
01:32:03,373 --> 01:32:04,875
Hello.
1478
01:32:04,958 --> 01:32:06,960
- How are you?
- Just fine.
1479
01:32:07,503 --> 01:32:09,338
This is my lawyer, Sarah.
1480
01:32:09,421 --> 01:32:11,256
- Nice to meet you.
- Thank you for coming.
1481
01:32:11,340 --> 01:32:12,966
Of course. Damian told the facts.
1482
01:32:13,050 --> 01:32:14,885
Should I know something about the interrogation?
1483
01:32:14,968 --> 01:32:16,929
He treated me like a killer.
1484
01:32:17,012 --> 01:32:18,012
But you were with me.
1485
01:32:18,055 --> 01:32:20,349
He doesn't care, claims me as an accomplice.
1486
01:32:20,432 --> 01:32:21,266
Okay, but...
1487
01:32:21,350 --> 01:32:23,852
He spoke to Martha's friend,
To Stella Byrne,
1488
01:32:23,936 --> 01:32:25,979
who said Martha's
having approached him first,
1489
01:32:26,063 --> 01:32:27,356
and he had refused.
1490
01:32:27,439 --> 01:32:29,441
Everything was probably recorded.
1491
01:32:31,527 --> 01:32:33,946
And this cop proved it all.
1492
01:32:34,029 --> 01:32:35,239
You can come in now.
1493
01:32:35,322 --> 01:32:36,949
I'm going alone. I'm a lawyer.
1494
01:32:38,867 --> 01:32:40,536
Don't worry, this is a clear case.
1495
01:32:42,913 --> 01:32:45,249
- Thank you for coming.
- Can't take it.
1496
01:32:45,999 --> 01:32:48,210
Jeez! What an asshole!
1497
01:32:48,293 --> 01:32:49,920
I've never been treated like that.
1498
01:32:50,963 --> 01:32:53,423
I'm sorry you got your reply
fanatic,
1499
01:32:53,507 --> 01:32:54,842
but he won't bother you anymore.
1500
01:32:54,925 --> 01:32:56,134
I'm filing a complaint.
1501
01:32:56,218 --> 01:32:58,345
Thanks for everything to you.
1502
01:32:58,428 --> 01:33:00,472
You have to be available
two days,
1503
01:33:00,556 --> 01:33:02,391
during forensic formalities.
1504
01:33:03,851 --> 01:33:05,435
They call me if necessary.
1505
01:33:05,519 --> 01:33:06,562
I'm at the house.
1506
01:33:06,645 --> 01:33:07,938
Do you have the information?
1507
01:33:08,021 --> 01:33:09,273
Yes, I got them from Damian.
1508
01:33:10,065 --> 01:33:12,276
Please call if anything comes up.
1509
01:33:12,359 --> 01:33:14,111
I'm going back to the office.
1510
01:33:14,194 --> 01:33:15,821
- I share in the grief.
- Thank you.
1511
01:33:15,904 --> 01:33:17,072
- Thank you, Sarah.
- Hello then.
1512
01:33:18,365 --> 01:33:20,159
Can't believe Stella said that.
1513
01:33:20,242 --> 01:33:21,410
Backed into a corner.
1514
01:33:21,493 --> 01:33:23,787
They have Martha's computer and phone.
1515
01:33:25,164 --> 01:33:25,998
Did they talk?
1516
01:33:26,081 --> 01:33:28,959
I don't know, he didn't say anything.
1517
01:33:30,127 --> 01:33:31,503
What do you want to do?
1518
01:33:31,587 --> 01:33:34,131
Return to the house to pack Martha's things.
1519
01:33:35,299 --> 01:33:36,299
Sorry.
1520
01:33:37,509 --> 01:33:38,509
Hello?
1521
01:33:39,553 --> 01:33:40,554
On the telephone.
1522
01:33:42,639 --> 01:33:43,974
It's Michelle.
1523
01:33:44,057 --> 01:33:45,225
Martha's daughter?
1524
01:33:46,059 --> 01:33:49,438
Yes, of course.
Of course you can come visit.
1525
01:33:49,521 --> 01:33:52,774
I'm going there right now.
I'm typing the address.
1526
01:33:54,151 --> 01:33:56,236
Alright, see you soon.
1527
01:34:01,033 --> 01:34:02,993
I'm going back to town.
1528
01:34:03,076 --> 01:34:03,952
Tell me when you get back
1529
01:34:04,036 --> 01:34:05,913
then I will help you with your move.
1530
01:34:07,080 --> 01:34:08,999
Thanks for everything.
1531
01:34:11,877 --> 01:34:14,129
You can then tell
how was it with michelle
1532
01:34:14,463 --> 01:34:15,506
I'll do it.
1533
01:34:17,633 --> 01:34:19,843
- Thank you. I'll call you.
- All right. Be fine.
1534
01:34:53,585 --> 01:34:54,837
Hi, I'm Michelle.
1535
01:34:55,963 --> 01:34:56,963
Ingrid.
1536
01:34:57,673 --> 01:34:58,673
Hello.
1537
01:35:02,261 --> 01:35:03,595
Shall we go inside?
1538
01:35:08,183 --> 01:35:09,183
Go inside.
1539
01:35:15,357 --> 01:35:16,650
Do you want to see your mother's room?
1540
01:35:17,067 --> 01:35:18,235
I want, please.
1541
01:35:18,902 --> 01:35:20,779
It's over there.
1542
01:35:48,932 --> 01:35:50,392
I made coffee.
1543
01:35:50,476 --> 01:35:51,560
Would you like to?
1544
01:35:52,186 --> 01:35:53,437
There is also tea.
1545
01:35:53,520 --> 01:35:55,189
No, coffee is fine. Thanks.
1546
01:35:55,939 --> 01:35:56,940
Please.
1547
01:36:01,570 --> 01:36:02,863
Did he tell about me?
1548
01:36:02,946 --> 01:36:04,323
Of course told.
1549
01:36:06,366 --> 01:36:07,784
They say you were sorry
1550
01:36:07,868 --> 01:36:09,620
that you didn't meet your father.
1551
01:36:10,662 --> 01:36:12,039
So he told about my father?
1552
01:36:12,122 --> 01:36:13,373
So.
1553
01:36:14,541 --> 01:36:16,960
Couldn't he have helped my father -
1554
01:36:17,044 --> 01:36:18,086
after he returned from the war?
1555
01:36:18,629 --> 01:36:20,714
He helped as best he could.
1556
01:36:21,215 --> 01:36:24,301
Your father came back badly damaged -
1557
01:36:24,384 --> 01:36:27,054
and wanted to move elsewhere
to start over.
1558
01:36:27,137 --> 01:36:30,307
The plans didn't include you or Martha.
1559
01:36:31,016 --> 01:36:34,728
Your mother accepted the end of the relationship and...
1560
01:36:36,104 --> 01:36:37,773
He saw your father's plight -
1561
01:36:37,898 --> 01:36:40,025
and kissed to give
peace of mind for him,
1562
01:36:40,108 --> 01:36:42,319
and that kiss led further.
1563
01:36:44,404 --> 01:36:46,698
You are the fruit of that moment.
1564
01:36:47,866 --> 01:36:50,661
My mother didn't say anything about it.
1565
01:36:50,744 --> 01:36:52,913
It's hard to explain to a child.
1566
01:36:52,996 --> 01:36:54,957
He could have told later.
1567
01:36:55,666 --> 01:36:57,042
You were already so estranged,
1568
01:36:57,125 --> 01:36:58,961
that it didn't seem possible.
1569
01:37:00,379 --> 01:37:03,924
He was a teenager, with a life ahead of him,
1570
01:37:04,007 --> 01:37:06,552
and your father moved to san diego -
1571
01:37:06,635 --> 01:37:08,136
and didn't want to get to know you.
1572
01:37:19,189 --> 01:37:20,440
So, Ingrid,
1573
01:37:22,401 --> 01:37:25,612
so I was completely wrong
Regarding Martha?
1574
01:37:26,697 --> 01:37:27,948
You were unfair
1575
01:37:29,616 --> 01:37:30,826
but you can't be blamed
1576
01:37:30,909 --> 01:37:32,828
that you wanted to know your father.
1577
01:37:35,873 --> 01:37:39,251
Sad story, painful for both.
1578
01:37:43,088 --> 01:37:44,965
Don't be so hard on yourself.
1579
01:37:45,048 --> 01:37:46,592
Martha was not a perfect mother.
1580
01:37:48,260 --> 01:37:49,553
Yeah, it wasn't.
1581
01:37:54,141 --> 01:37:55,809
Can I stay here?
1582
01:37:55,934 --> 01:37:58,770
Of course! Your mother rented this.
1583
01:38:02,608 --> 01:38:03,650
Dear Martha,
1584
01:38:04,860 --> 01:38:05,903
you might like to know,
1585
01:38:05,986 --> 01:38:07,779
that I returned to the house -
1586
01:38:07,863 --> 01:38:09,323
to collect your things.
1587
01:38:11,617 --> 01:38:13,327
Your daughter came to see me.
1588
01:38:14,203 --> 01:38:15,746
I'm still shaking.
1589
01:38:16,788 --> 01:38:18,499
She looks so like you.
1590
01:38:19,708 --> 01:38:22,461
He asked if he could stay
and sleep in your bed,
1591
01:38:23,212 --> 01:38:24,755
and of course I agreed.
1592
01:38:26,757 --> 01:38:29,051
Your death must have come closer
tail to you.
1593
01:38:33,222 --> 01:38:35,224
I didn't think I'd inherit him,
1594
01:38:36,058 --> 01:38:38,435
even if only for a day.
1595
01:38:39,186 --> 01:38:41,438
The house is full of you.
1596
01:38:44,441 --> 01:38:47,027
When I came in
after talking to the police,
1597
01:38:48,237 --> 01:38:50,614
the first thing I saw was the door to your room,
1598
01:38:52,157 --> 01:38:53,617
and it was open.
1599
01:38:54,827 --> 01:38:57,913
I said to myself: "He's alive."
1600
01:39:31,905 --> 01:39:33,949
I came to listen to the birds.
1601
01:39:36,660 --> 01:39:38,453
Your mother used to wake up like this,
1602
01:39:39,538 --> 01:39:40,831
at dawn,
1603
01:39:42,166 --> 01:39:43,417
and land in it.
1604
01:39:48,755 --> 01:39:51,425
Look, it's snowing.
1605
01:40:00,267 --> 01:40:01,602
It's snowing slowly.
1606
01:40:04,354 --> 01:40:07,191
To a lonely pool,
where we didn't swim.
1607
01:40:09,401 --> 01:40:10,819
Snow falls in the forest,
1608
01:40:11,904 --> 01:40:14,114
where we walked, and you lay -
1609
01:40:14,198 --> 01:40:16,533
exhausted on the ground.
1610
01:40:19,244 --> 01:40:21,455
Landing on your daughter and me.
1611
01:40:24,875 --> 01:40:27,002
Lands on the living and the dead.
1612
01:46:17,102 --> 01:46:19,104
Subtitles: Timo Porri