1 00:00:01,356 --> 00:00:03,065 Something happened today. 2 00:00:03,066 --> 00:00:04,358 Oh, my God, they've been shot! 3 00:00:04,359 --> 00:00:05,776 It's Glen, he's still alive! 4 00:00:05,777 --> 00:00:07,653 - Zach! - They got me in my fat! 5 00:00:07,654 --> 00:00:11,323 All of you may have heard about our little "firearms moment" at the photo shoot, 6 00:00:11,324 --> 00:00:14,243 - but the show must go on! - Woo! 7 00:00:14,244 --> 00:00:15,327 Got me thinking. 8 00:00:15,328 --> 00:00:17,162 I was gonna propose, and I choked. 9 00:00:17,163 --> 00:00:19,373 - Ronnie's bonded with Loretta. - Who's Ronnie? 10 00:00:19,374 --> 00:00:21,416 - She's my Finsta. - Oh, no! 11 00:00:21,417 --> 00:00:24,419 I wanna spend whatever time I have left with you. 12 00:00:24,420 --> 00:00:25,754 Ugh... 13 00:00:25,755 --> 00:00:27,965 Dudenoff? Not in Portugal. Nope. 14 00:00:27,966 --> 00:00:31,718 He's been cashing social security checks at a bodega on 125th Street. 15 00:00:31,719 --> 00:00:33,845 This is Sazz Pataki's remains. 16 00:00:33,846 --> 00:00:35,472 Gravey, that's my friend! 17 00:00:35,473 --> 00:00:37,015 Here's her left shoulder. 18 00:00:37,016 --> 00:00:39,393 - No, it's not. - Yeah. See? It says "left". 19 00:00:39,394 --> 00:00:42,187 No. This one says "left". In Bulgarian. 20 00:00:42,188 --> 00:00:43,897 There's two left shoulders? 21 00:00:43,898 --> 00:00:46,066 They just identified the other left shoulder! 22 00:00:46,067 --> 00:00:49,152 It belongs to Dudenoff. Dudenoff was murdered. 23 00:00:49,153 --> 00:00:52,823 We put hidden cameras in our production office and in your apartments. 24 00:00:52,824 --> 00:00:54,700 Whose camera is this? 25 00:00:54,701 --> 00:00:56,201 "I'm watching you." 26 00:00:56,202 --> 00:00:58,830 We're not safe in this building! 27 00:01:00,331 --> 00:01:02,207 New York City. 28 00:01:02,208 --> 00:01:04,001 It sucks. 29 00:01:04,002 --> 00:01:06,004 It's a crime-ridden hellhole. 30 00:01:07,088 --> 00:01:09,768 And don't hit me with that, "The numbers don't bear that out," shit. 31 00:01:11,092 --> 00:01:13,093 You ever get mugged by a number? 32 00:01:13,094 --> 00:01:14,595 - Go, go, go! - Where are we going?! 33 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,889 Out of the city! The killer was in our apartments, 34 00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:19,558 and filming us, which makes him a perv, too. 35 00:01:19,559 --> 00:01:23,604 Alright, alright. Putnam, get in the zone. Gotta craft the perfect... 36 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:26,315 poetic breakup text. So far, I have, "It's over," 37 00:01:26,316 --> 00:01:28,066 exclamation point, exclamation point, 38 00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:30,194 followed by 10 more exclamation points. 39 00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:31,904 You're breaking up with Loretta? 40 00:01:31,905 --> 00:01:35,574 I've never seen someone worse at being in a happy relationship. 41 00:01:35,575 --> 00:01:38,827 Mabel, I showed her my soul, and she said, "Ugh." 42 00:01:38,828 --> 00:01:41,622 So I'm ripping off the Band-Aid and taking my heart with it. 43 00:01:41,623 --> 00:01:43,207 N-Now, drive faster. 44 00:01:43,208 --> 00:01:45,542 Oh well, we don't even know where we're going! 45 00:01:45,543 --> 00:01:47,794 We gotta find a safe house, and it can't be a hotel 46 00:01:47,795 --> 00:01:49,463 because credit cards can be tracked. 47 00:01:49,464 --> 00:01:51,673 Well, what about your sister on Long Island? 48 00:01:51,674 --> 00:01:54,092 The one whose daughters all have D names? 49 00:01:54,093 --> 00:01:57,679 I can't lead a killer to my kid sister's house! 50 00:01:57,680 --> 00:01:59,640 I thought her husband was a cop. 51 00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:02,351 - Hello. - Howard? Hey, listen to me. 52 00:02:02,352 --> 00:02:03,977 Um, don't tell anyone, 53 00:02:03,978 --> 00:02:06,813 - but in case we, like, disappear... - Uh-huh. 54 00:02:06,814 --> 00:02:09,525 We went to Charles' sister's in Patchogue. 55 00:02:09,526 --> 00:02:11,151 Also, I need you to go to that bodega 56 00:02:11,152 --> 00:02:13,695 and figure out who's been cashing Dudenoff's checks. 57 00:02:13,696 --> 00:02:15,906 - Okay... - Also, this tech-savvy psycho 58 00:02:15,907 --> 00:02:18,492 could be tracking our movements! Turn off your phone! 59 00:02:18,493 --> 00:02:21,079 Oh, you're right. Bye, Howard. Oliver, turn it off. 60 00:02:21,412 --> 00:02:24,457 Okay. Fine. Devastating text, sent. 61 00:02:25,792 --> 00:02:28,503 Okay, Doreen. Here we come. 62 00:02:29,254 --> 00:02:32,839 Now, you want peace? Safety? 63 00:02:32,840 --> 00:02:35,384 A good night's sleep because you know your female loved ones 64 00:02:35,385 --> 00:02:37,637 ain't gonna get punched in the face at Gristedes? 65 00:02:38,721 --> 00:02:41,598 Well, my friend, there's only one county 66 00:02:41,599 --> 00:02:44,226 on God's green earth for you. 67 00:02:44,227 --> 00:02:47,187 The county of Suffolk. 68 00:02:47,188 --> 00:02:49,274 Strong Island, baby! 69 00:02:51,234 --> 00:02:53,736 Of course, uh, no place is perfect. 70 00:02:54,821 --> 00:02:57,990 I should give you a little, uh, heads up about my sister. 71 00:02:57,991 --> 00:03:00,951 Uh, and I don't like saying this about my own flesh and blood, 72 00:03:00,952 --> 00:03:03,620 but she can be, uh, very... 73 00:03:03,621 --> 00:03:05,372 uh, spontaneous? 74 00:03:05,373 --> 00:03:07,458 Ooh, sick burn. 75 00:03:16,968 --> 00:03:18,093 Ah! 76 00:03:18,094 --> 00:03:21,931 Well, look who finally decided to show up for Thanksgiving. 77 00:03:23,016 --> 00:03:24,642 Too bad it's April. 78 00:03:25,351 --> 00:03:26,352 Come on. 79 00:04:28,373 --> 00:04:29,706 I like your dolls. 80 00:04:29,707 --> 00:04:31,542 Oh, thank you. You know, 81 00:04:31,543 --> 00:04:33,877 the big ones are very hard to come by now. 82 00:04:33,878 --> 00:04:35,879 Something about the supply chain, but... 83 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:39,591 Yeah, I started collecting after, uh, Dawn's wedding. 84 00:04:39,592 --> 00:04:42,594 And then, when Dina and Danielle went to DeVry, 85 00:04:42,595 --> 00:04:46,139 and then Dagmar, which is my youngest, still a baby, 86 00:04:46,140 --> 00:04:48,183 she really just left to wound me. 87 00:04:48,184 --> 00:04:52,146 So, I guess you replaced your children with dolls, huh? 88 00:04:55,275 --> 00:04:56,401 Wow. 89 00:04:57,569 --> 00:05:00,405 I have never made that connection. 90 00:05:02,448 --> 00:05:04,199 You are intuitive. 91 00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:06,995 That is much more important in a man than height. 92 00:05:07,996 --> 00:05:09,247 - Thank you. - Mm. 93 00:05:09,789 --> 00:05:11,540 I always wondered what you look like. 94 00:05:11,541 --> 00:05:13,458 You know, I know your voice from the podcast, 95 00:05:13,459 --> 00:05:16,503 but sometimes, I would, uh, slow it down. 96 00:05:16,504 --> 00:05:18,255 I'd deepen your register. 97 00:05:18,256 --> 00:05:20,632 Then, I speed it back up, and you sound like a little frisky chicken. 98 00:05:20,633 --> 00:05:21,717 Ah... 99 00:05:21,718 --> 00:05:24,928 Then slow it down again. And then speed it up. 100 00:05:24,929 --> 00:05:27,097 Then, slow it down. 101 00:05:27,098 --> 00:05:29,224 And then, I speed it back up. 102 00:05:29,225 --> 00:05:31,436 Where's Big Mike? We could use a cop around here. 103 00:05:32,020 --> 00:05:34,396 Well, I kicked him out again. 104 00:05:34,397 --> 00:05:36,315 He's livin' on the boat in the driveway. 105 00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:38,984 One too many nights at Can-Cans. 106 00:05:38,985 --> 00:05:40,736 Uh, 107 00:05:40,737 --> 00:05:44,198 I feel like I'm gonna regret asking this, but what is Can-Cans? 108 00:05:44,199 --> 00:05:46,450 It's Hooters for butts. 109 00:05:46,451 --> 00:05:47,534 I was right. 110 00:05:47,535 --> 00:05:50,120 This is what I married. He's a pig. 111 00:05:50,121 --> 00:05:53,207 Just hoggin' down mozzarelly sticks, surrounded by 112 00:05:53,208 --> 00:05:55,876 random women's mud flaps. 113 00:05:55,877 --> 00:05:57,753 Oh, anyway, more room for you. 114 00:05:57,754 --> 00:05:59,671 And no murderer is ever gonna check here 115 00:05:59,672 --> 00:06:02,049 'cause they know you're not gonna come visit your sister! 116 00:06:02,050 --> 00:06:03,133 Hey. 117 00:06:03,134 --> 00:06:06,762 Oh, what are you gonna do? Inflict another permanent injury on me? 118 00:06:06,763 --> 00:06:09,765 - Doreen, please. - Oh, my God, he's so sensitive. 119 00:06:09,766 --> 00:06:12,768 Pardon me, I'm gonna get you some fresh towels. 120 00:06:12,769 --> 00:06:14,478 If you're gonna stay over, you need towels! 121 00:06:14,479 --> 00:06:16,897 - What are you, one or two? - One. 122 00:06:16,898 --> 00:06:18,315 I thought so. 123 00:06:18,316 --> 00:06:21,485 You're a two-towel guy. I can tell that. You're gonna need it. 124 00:06:21,486 --> 00:06:22,779 I want you dry. 125 00:06:24,489 --> 00:06:26,616 I'm scared. 126 00:06:31,955 --> 00:06:34,790 Alright, Charles, can you catch us up on the plot of... 127 00:06:34,791 --> 00:06:36,583 "August: Suffolk County"? 128 00:06:36,584 --> 00:06:38,418 It's probably what you would've guessed. 129 00:06:38,419 --> 00:06:40,796 When Doreen was 3, I was pushing her on a swing, 130 00:06:40,797 --> 00:06:42,798 and I pushed her too hard, and she flew off, 131 00:06:42,799 --> 00:06:44,717 and ended up losing her spleen. 132 00:06:45,677 --> 00:06:47,761 I wouldn't say that was exactly what I would've guessed. 133 00:06:47,762 --> 00:06:49,346 - No. - She knows I feel terrible about it, 134 00:06:49,347 --> 00:06:51,558 and she loves spleen-shaming me. 135 00:06:52,767 --> 00:06:55,269 - Maybe this was a mistake. - No, no, no, no, it's quiet here, 136 00:06:55,270 --> 00:06:57,938 so we can work on the case and hopefully not die. 137 00:06:57,939 --> 00:07:01,358 Does this gorgeous doll remind you of anyone? 138 00:07:01,359 --> 00:07:03,193 Braids, porcelain skin, 139 00:07:03,194 --> 00:07:04,653 perky little set of... 140 00:07:04,654 --> 00:07:06,363 Oliver! The case! 141 00:07:06,364 --> 00:07:08,116 You know what? You handle it. 142 00:07:08,575 --> 00:07:10,450 'Cause I'm exhausted 143 00:07:10,451 --> 00:07:12,287 and freshly heartbroken. 144 00:07:13,162 --> 00:07:14,162 Charles? 145 00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:16,290 Mabel, I have to come up with a security plan! 146 00:07:16,291 --> 00:07:18,792 I need to make this place murder-proof... 147 00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:20,919 and then give law enforcement a, uh, 148 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,796 tactical appraisal of the situation. 149 00:07:22,797 --> 00:07:26,134 You mean talk to the butt-lover in the driveway boat? 150 00:07:26,634 --> 00:07:27,635 Yes. 151 00:07:28,469 --> 00:07:29,553 Meanwhile, 152 00:07:29,554 --> 00:07:31,890 towels. You wanted two. There you go. 153 00:07:32,682 --> 00:07:33,933 One towel. 154 00:07:34,392 --> 00:07:36,810 "Can-Cans Wet Bench Night." 155 00:07:36,811 --> 00:07:39,898 Oh, Long Island, you're so... you. 156 00:07:54,370 --> 00:07:55,872 Big Mike? 157 00:07:57,874 --> 00:07:59,375 It's Charles! 158 00:08:03,963 --> 00:08:06,590 I'm borrowing your toolbox. 159 00:08:06,591 --> 00:08:09,051 I found you! Finally! 160 00:08:09,052 --> 00:08:11,303 - I have left you so many messages! - Bev? 161 00:08:11,304 --> 00:08:13,597 It's a good thing Howard knew where you were. So listen, 162 00:08:13,598 --> 00:08:17,059 this is serious. The studio is asking if the Brothers Sisters are the killers. 163 00:08:17,060 --> 00:08:18,810 If they are the killers, I have to fire them. 164 00:08:18,811 --> 00:08:20,854 If they might be, but we can't prove it, 165 00:08:20,855 --> 00:08:23,482 that is a gray area that I can sell. So, what is it? Tell me. 166 00:08:23,483 --> 00:08:26,528 It's definitely not them... I think. 167 00:08:27,153 --> 00:08:29,947 Okay, he says they're not the killers. He's right here. 168 00:08:29,948 --> 00:08:32,033 He seems, like, 60% sure. 169 00:08:33,451 --> 00:08:34,701 That sounds low? 170 00:08:34,702 --> 00:08:36,703 Well, 50% of one margarita was enough 171 00:08:36,704 --> 00:08:38,956 for you to flash your boobs at the Fabelmans premiere. 172 00:08:38,957 --> 00:08:42,292 Bev, this is an emergency safe house situation, so I need your phone. 173 00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:43,835 He did see them, Monica! 174 00:08:43,836 --> 00:08:46,714 He saw 100% of both of them! 175 00:08:48,508 --> 00:08:50,552 What? Oh, my God! 176 00:08:52,554 --> 00:08:53,762 Oliver, what are you doing? 177 00:08:53,763 --> 00:08:55,055 Mabel, not now! 178 00:08:55,056 --> 00:08:56,807 I'm busy with an urgent new mystery. 179 00:08:56,808 --> 00:08:59,309 The whereabouts of Johnnie Walker. 180 00:08:59,310 --> 00:09:02,396 Well, I'm just trying to find a place to work 181 00:09:02,397 --> 00:09:04,022 that isn't filled with dolls. 182 00:09:04,023 --> 00:09:05,941 - Oh, my God. - I mean, it's so creep... 183 00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:07,359 With that little baby voice... 184 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,361 Is that Bev Melon? 185 00:09:09,362 --> 00:09:11,321 Howard, come on! 186 00:09:11,322 --> 00:09:15,368 Okay. Hey, am I to believe people suffer a life in Patchogue sober? 187 00:09:16,160 --> 00:09:18,872 Ah, of course not. Bar she blows. 188 00:09:21,833 --> 00:09:24,793 - Hey. Okay, I'll call you back, bye. - Bev, what are you doing here? 189 00:09:24,794 --> 00:09:26,920 We're dead. We're all fucking dead, 190 00:09:26,921 --> 00:09:28,881 that's what I'm doing here. I don't fucking know. 191 00:09:28,882 --> 00:09:31,258 Wh-What do you mean? What happened? Is there someone out there? 192 00:09:31,259 --> 00:09:33,135 No. I wish it was so simple, Mabel. 193 00:09:33,136 --> 00:09:36,054 The studio is talking about 194 00:09:36,055 --> 00:09:37,723 pulling the plug on the movie 195 00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:39,808 because of all the "catastrophes." 196 00:09:39,809 --> 00:09:41,685 I'm stressed, okay?! 197 00:09:41,686 --> 00:09:44,188 I gotta figure this out! It's stressful! I'm fucking, like, 198 00:09:44,189 --> 00:09:45,772 losing my shit, okay? 199 00:09:45,773 --> 00:09:48,066 And I'm starving right now! 200 00:09:48,067 --> 00:09:50,068 I'm so hungry. Ugh, that looks gross. 201 00:09:50,069 --> 00:09:52,113 I need something substantial. 202 00:09:53,031 --> 00:09:56,492 You know what? I think I saw pizza crust on the driveway boat, I'll be right back. 203 00:09:58,369 --> 00:09:59,954 What is my life? 204 00:10:06,336 --> 00:10:08,212 - My apologies. I... - Oh, no. 205 00:10:08,213 --> 00:10:10,756 I just had a craving for a Tulsa Torpedo. 206 00:10:10,757 --> 00:10:12,883 - Oh. - I mean, but I see that 207 00:10:12,884 --> 00:10:15,302 you've misplaced your watermelon liqueur. 208 00:10:15,303 --> 00:10:17,930 Oh, why don't I make you one of my signature cocktails? 209 00:10:17,931 --> 00:10:20,307 Okay? Lemme just... Right behind you. If I... 210 00:10:20,308 --> 00:10:23,060 I almost got it. Here we go. 211 00:10:23,061 --> 00:10:25,354 I think you are going to like. 212 00:10:25,355 --> 00:10:28,649 This is mostly entirely vodka and Crystal Light. 213 00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:30,568 You know, I call it a Sweaty Betty. 214 00:10:31,194 --> 00:10:33,987 Named it after my dear friend, also named Betty, 215 00:10:33,988 --> 00:10:36,448 uh, who also happens to sweat like a pig. 216 00:10:36,449 --> 00:10:37,533 Uh-huh... 217 00:10:37,534 --> 00:10:39,910 So... there we go. 218 00:10:39,911 --> 00:10:42,996 And Crystal Light, if you dunk anything in it, 219 00:10:42,997 --> 00:10:44,248 - it's a great exfoliant. - Uh... 220 00:10:44,249 --> 00:10:46,250 - Ah. - A long pour... 221 00:10:46,251 --> 00:10:48,335 - Ah... - for my short king. 222 00:10:48,336 --> 00:10:50,712 - Well, here's to Betty. - Oh, Betty was a whore. 223 00:10:50,713 --> 00:10:52,048 Okay. 224 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:53,841 Mm... 225 00:10:54,551 --> 00:10:56,468 Can you believe it? 226 00:10:56,469 --> 00:10:57,594 Oh my, that's... 227 00:10:57,595 --> 00:11:00,138 - Mm. I know. - Oh! Th-That is... 228 00:11:00,139 --> 00:11:02,015 Okay... 229 00:11:02,016 --> 00:11:03,642 Now... 230 00:11:03,643 --> 00:11:06,103 I can't help but notice you seem like something's 231 00:11:06,104 --> 00:11:08,481 maybe bothering you. Is it Charles? 232 00:11:09,023 --> 00:11:11,109 W-Well, no. Uh... Well, 233 00:11:11,734 --> 00:11:13,861 usually yes, but, uh, 234 00:11:13,862 --> 00:11:15,530 uh, this time, it's a breakup. 235 00:11:16,489 --> 00:11:18,699 A relationship done in by my... 236 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:20,617 one tragic flaw. 237 00:11:20,618 --> 00:11:22,202 Too handsome? 238 00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:24,872 Well, th-there's that, but it's also... 239 00:11:24,873 --> 00:11:26,749 I-I'm simply too... 240 00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:28,710 emotionally available. 241 00:11:39,345 --> 00:11:41,930 Actors? Now what are you doing here? 242 00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,932 Howard told us you would be here. 243 00:11:43,933 --> 00:11:45,810 People don't keep secrets from the famous. 244 00:11:47,437 --> 00:11:48,645 What are you doing here? 245 00:11:48,646 --> 00:11:50,147 Uh, I'm hiding out from the killer. 246 00:11:50,148 --> 00:11:52,941 Oh, so you thought, "Hey, why don't we leave the actors 247 00:11:52,942 --> 00:11:54,485 to die with a psychopath"? 248 00:11:55,111 --> 00:11:57,487 Pretty sure the killer is after us, not you guys. 249 00:11:57,488 --> 00:12:00,490 I would reconsider that. Just a gut feeling. 250 00:12:00,491 --> 00:12:01,658 Oh! 251 00:12:01,659 --> 00:12:03,577 I escaped the hospital to come here. 252 00:12:03,578 --> 00:12:06,788 Well, go back to the hospital! And for you guys, 253 00:12:06,789 --> 00:12:09,249 I need some quiet to work on the case, okay? 254 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:12,044 - I'm sure there's lovely local hotels. - No, no, no, no. 255 00:12:12,045 --> 00:12:15,340 You are contractually responsible for our safety, so we're staying. 256 00:12:16,132 --> 00:12:18,717 Fine! Then pick a doll, amuse yourselves, 257 00:12:18,718 --> 00:12:20,386 and give me your phones. 258 00:12:23,348 --> 00:12:24,890 I mean... 259 00:12:24,891 --> 00:12:28,185 I thought that I wanted a creative counterpart. 260 00:12:28,186 --> 00:12:29,269 Yeah. Yeah. 261 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:32,439 A Verdon to my Fosse. A Fleetwood to my Mac. 262 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:33,524 Oh. 263 00:12:33,525 --> 00:12:36,486 Maybe what I really want... 264 00:12:37,779 --> 00:12:40,405 is just someone I can hold 265 00:12:40,406 --> 00:12:42,491 and adore, you know? 266 00:12:42,492 --> 00:12:44,284 Like a doll. 267 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:46,204 - Sure. Sure, like a doll. - Like a doll. 268 00:12:47,205 --> 00:12:49,039 How'd you meet your husband? 269 00:12:49,040 --> 00:12:51,876 You know what, this is... shouldn't be here. 270 00:12:54,128 --> 00:12:55,630 Well, 271 00:12:56,548 --> 00:12:58,049 you know, it was actually... 272 00:12:58,925 --> 00:13:01,636 a pretty classic meet-cute. It was... 273 00:13:02,512 --> 00:13:06,015 inside the port-a-potty at Jones Beach. 274 00:13:09,269 --> 00:13:10,811 Someone should get that 275 00:13:10,812 --> 00:13:12,187 before we have to hear it again. 276 00:13:12,188 --> 00:13:13,981 Alright. Ooh, I'm like a turtle. 277 00:13:13,982 --> 00:13:16,782 - Gimme a little help. There we go. - Oh, lemme help you. There you go. 278 00:13:16,901 --> 00:13:19,612 Okay. Okay. 279 00:13:21,155 --> 00:13:23,074 Oh, Mr. Putman! 280 00:13:24,367 --> 00:13:25,450 Hello... 281 00:13:25,451 --> 00:13:27,703 Oh. Let yourself in. 282 00:13:27,704 --> 00:13:28,996 What on earth? 283 00:13:28,997 --> 00:13:30,789 Hi. 284 00:13:30,790 --> 00:13:34,251 I j... I just got caught in her macramé duster. 285 00:13:34,252 --> 00:13:37,296 Oh, is that what the kids are calling it now? 286 00:13:37,297 --> 00:13:39,757 This one. What a tease, huh? 287 00:13:42,220 --> 00:13:44,469 Loretta, how did you find out... 288 00:13:44,470 --> 00:13:47,264 Howard! Of course, it was Howard. 289 00:13:47,265 --> 00:13:51,143 I called repeatedly, straight to voicemail every time. 290 00:13:51,144 --> 00:13:53,854 So, I got on a six-hour flight, 291 00:13:53,855 --> 00:13:54,938 middle seat, 292 00:13:54,939 --> 00:13:57,275 just so I could ask you why you thought you could... 293 00:13:58,735 --> 00:14:01,111 break up with me over text. 294 00:14:01,112 --> 00:14:02,697 Uh... Loretta... 295 00:14:03,281 --> 00:14:04,698 what are you talking about? 296 00:14:04,699 --> 00:14:06,950 I poured my heart out to you 297 00:14:06,951 --> 00:14:09,578 on the phone, and you went, "Ugh." 298 00:14:09,579 --> 00:14:10,787 When did this happen? 299 00:14:10,788 --> 00:14:12,289 - Yesterday. Yes... - No, you didn't. 300 00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:15,376 A-A day that will live in ugh-famy. 301 00:14:16,586 --> 00:14:18,712 What time was it? 302 00:14:18,713 --> 00:14:20,172 I don't know, lunch? 303 00:14:20,173 --> 00:14:22,925 - Devastation o'clock. - Your lunch or my lunch? 304 00:14:22,926 --> 00:14:25,803 I-It was your lunch, my second Cosmo. 305 00:14:28,473 --> 00:14:31,934 Oh! 306 00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:35,312 Oh, I-I love that my pain is so amusing to you. 307 00:14:35,313 --> 00:14:37,731 That is just so appreciated. 308 00:14:37,732 --> 00:14:40,317 No! Oh, Oliver. 309 00:14:40,318 --> 00:14:42,945 I think you talked to my stand-in. 310 00:14:42,946 --> 00:14:44,613 - What? Sorry, what? - Yeah. 311 00:14:44,614 --> 00:14:47,699 Because I'm wrapped in gauze, and my stand-in is wrapped in gauze, 312 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:50,536 so I think the-the PA gave my cellphone 313 00:14:50,537 --> 00:14:53,873 to the wrong burn victim. 314 00:14:56,292 --> 00:15:00,254 - I mean... No, no. - So, that wasn't you? 315 00:15:00,255 --> 00:15:03,757 I don't think you're ugh. 316 00:15:03,758 --> 00:15:05,718 I think you're... 317 00:15:08,221 --> 00:15:10,306 What I can say other than... 318 00:15:14,102 --> 00:15:15,811 Oh, Ollie! 319 00:15:15,812 --> 00:15:19,857 - Oh, I missed you. I missed you. - I missed you. I missed you, too. 320 00:15:19,858 --> 00:15:23,945 - So... Doreen. - Oh. 321 00:15:24,529 --> 00:15:28,240 Doreen? Well, Doreen is Charles' sister. 322 00:15:28,241 --> 00:15:29,826 Is she someone... 323 00:15:30,702 --> 00:15:32,244 that I should be worried about? 324 00:15:32,245 --> 00:15:35,081 Everyone should be worried about Doreen. 325 00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:38,876 Careful, Upchuck! 326 00:15:38,877 --> 00:15:42,713 Oh, you need me to help you nail your fingers to the house, huh? 327 00:15:42,714 --> 00:15:45,007 These windows won't lock, so I'm trying to nail them shut. 328 00:15:45,008 --> 00:15:46,758 Just trying to keep everybody in one piece. 329 00:15:46,759 --> 00:15:49,512 Well, it's a little late to keep me in one piece. 330 00:15:51,222 --> 00:15:53,849 I asked the doctor if I could give you my spleen, 331 00:15:53,850 --> 00:15:55,767 and he said it wasn't necessary 332 00:15:55,768 --> 00:15:57,561 because spleens aren't necessary. 333 00:15:57,562 --> 00:16:00,564 Oh, come on. I was just razzin' you. 334 00:16:00,565 --> 00:16:02,525 I don't even remember the accident! 335 00:16:03,651 --> 00:16:06,528 You know what I remember? One of my... 336 00:16:06,529 --> 00:16:08,697 probably fondest memories is... 337 00:16:08,698 --> 00:16:11,201 God, I must've been, what, 5? 338 00:16:12,994 --> 00:16:14,286 Mom was taking me 339 00:16:14,287 --> 00:16:16,371 to see my big brother... 340 00:16:16,372 --> 00:16:18,291 in one of his first plays. 341 00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:20,585 You were so good. 342 00:16:21,669 --> 00:16:24,172 You were always meant to be Mr. Hollywood someday, huh? 343 00:16:28,259 --> 00:16:30,678 Are you even listening to me?! 344 00:16:31,262 --> 00:16:33,972 I'm sorry. I just can't have a conversation right now. 345 00:16:33,973 --> 00:16:36,016 Everyone I know is either dead or in danger 346 00:16:36,017 --> 00:16:38,518 because of me and my stupid podcast, 347 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:42,397 so I have to keep my attention focused on these nails! 348 00:16:42,398 --> 00:16:45,818 Why are you always mad at me?! 349 00:16:46,736 --> 00:16:48,445 I'm not mad at you. 350 00:16:48,446 --> 00:16:50,489 Wait, wait, wait, are you... are you crying? 351 00:16:50,490 --> 00:16:52,032 Oh, please don't cry. 352 00:16:52,033 --> 00:16:53,534 I can cry if I want to! 353 00:16:53,535 --> 00:16:57,454 Just because you, Mr. No-Emotion-Robot-Man, doesn't! 354 00:16:57,455 --> 00:16:59,248 I-I control myself. 355 00:16:59,249 --> 00:17:02,292 Oh, wh-what's that? Implying that I'm crazy?! 356 00:17:02,293 --> 00:17:04,002 - I didn't say that. - Don't deny it. 357 00:17:04,003 --> 00:17:05,379 - Well, I didn't say that. - Don't! 358 00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:06,547 I said don't! 359 00:17:06,548 --> 00:17:09,466 Don't deny it! Not do deny it! I said don't deny it! 360 00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:12,261 TikTok calls it gaslighting. 361 00:17:12,262 --> 00:17:14,888 And you're full of gas, and it's an epidemic! 362 00:17:14,889 --> 00:17:17,266 Every man in my life thinks that because I have 363 00:17:17,267 --> 00:17:20,978 just actual and real emotions that I'm crazy! 364 00:17:20,979 --> 00:17:23,605 But, you know what? There's a little man, 365 00:17:23,606 --> 00:17:26,358 a tiny, little man downstairs right now 366 00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:30,280 who appreciates a woman with a nice, big set of emotions. 367 00:17:32,782 --> 00:17:35,702 And be gentle with Jill! She's Victorian. 368 00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:41,540 We're bored. 369 00:17:41,541 --> 00:17:44,710 - Whatcha doing? Checking out the semen? - What? 370 00:17:44,711 --> 00:17:46,796 Where there's murder, there's semen. CSI 101. 371 00:17:47,338 --> 00:17:49,631 We can help, you know. We're not children. 372 00:17:49,632 --> 00:17:52,718 And can you open this snick-snack? My assistant's not here. 373 00:17:52,719 --> 00:17:55,137 Okay, I need to work on the case. 374 00:17:55,138 --> 00:17:57,973 So, um, could you actors maybe run lines 375 00:17:57,974 --> 00:18:00,684 or do Ozempic, whatever you guys do? 376 00:18:00,685 --> 00:18:01,935 Don't wanna interrupt you. 377 00:18:01,936 --> 00:18:05,315 Just need a little nibble. 378 00:18:07,317 --> 00:18:09,318 Eugene? 379 00:18:09,319 --> 00:18:11,695 It's me! Loretta. 380 00:18:11,696 --> 00:18:12,988 Loretta...? 381 00:18:12,989 --> 00:18:14,907 Loretta Durkin. 382 00:18:14,908 --> 00:18:18,702 We did Summerstock together. Saskatoon '82. 383 00:18:18,703 --> 00:18:20,788 Um... 384 00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:24,958 We did that stage adaptation of James Bond's Moonraker. 385 00:18:24,959 --> 00:18:27,794 I mean, I'm trying to place the face, but, uh, 386 00:18:27,795 --> 00:18:29,504 I'm coming up empty. 387 00:18:29,505 --> 00:18:32,132 I was Lieutenant Holly Goodhead. 388 00:18:32,133 --> 00:18:33,718 That was my... 389 00:18:35,136 --> 00:18:36,387 Zach! 390 00:18:37,138 --> 00:18:38,972 I adored you in Baskets. 391 00:18:38,973 --> 00:18:40,934 Why, thank you very... Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 392 00:18:41,768 --> 00:18:44,895 Sorry, I have a hole inside of me. 393 00:18:44,896 --> 00:18:47,482 Um, nobody's complimented me yet, so... 394 00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:51,653 - Can I talk to you for a minute? - Yeah, sure. 395 00:18:54,531 --> 00:18:57,616 Hey, I'm sorry, it's just the actors wanna help with the case. 396 00:18:57,617 --> 00:18:58,700 - Yeah. - Um, 397 00:18:58,701 --> 00:19:01,537 do you think you can take them out to play or distract them with your keys? 398 00:19:01,538 --> 00:19:05,123 Okay, but I think you're making a big mistake. 399 00:19:05,124 --> 00:19:07,501 Actors are investigators, you know. 400 00:19:07,502 --> 00:19:09,211 Of the human condition. 401 00:19:09,212 --> 00:19:11,673 LA did this to you in two weeks? 402 00:19:12,590 --> 00:19:15,593 Just let them in. Come on. 403 00:19:16,594 --> 00:19:18,887 You never know, it might help. 404 00:19:18,888 --> 00:19:20,806 Bev! 405 00:19:20,807 --> 00:19:23,141 Bev! Okay... Thank God! 406 00:19:23,142 --> 00:19:24,643 I'm gonna need you 407 00:19:24,644 --> 00:19:27,145 to entertain some movie actors. 408 00:19:27,146 --> 00:19:28,897 - You're a sweetie. - Thanks. 409 00:19:28,898 --> 00:19:31,900 I would love to hang with actors! 410 00:19:31,901 --> 00:19:34,653 Where are the "actors"? 411 00:19:34,654 --> 00:19:38,156 Actors, all sitting together, talking about their craft! 412 00:19:38,157 --> 00:19:40,034 Hey, actors! 413 00:19:40,827 --> 00:19:42,287 Fuck you! 414 00:19:42,787 --> 00:19:45,080 Can I, um... You want some drink of water? 415 00:19:45,081 --> 00:19:46,415 Okay, Mom. 416 00:19:46,416 --> 00:19:47,749 Fuck you, TV actor. 417 00:19:47,750 --> 00:19:49,793 You know my work? 418 00:19:49,794 --> 00:19:52,546 "Work"? Let me sum up the quality of your 419 00:19:52,547 --> 00:19:55,049 "acting ability" in one word. 420 00:19:57,677 --> 00:19:58,677 Oh. 421 00:19:58,678 --> 00:20:02,264 I'm sick of this bullshit studio, and the script 422 00:20:02,265 --> 00:20:05,851 with its bullshit plot holes, and all you self-centered actors, 423 00:20:05,852 --> 00:20:07,686 memorizing your lines, 424 00:20:07,687 --> 00:20:10,647 and your little baby set slippers, 425 00:20:10,648 --> 00:20:12,858 eating your special actor's food. 426 00:20:12,859 --> 00:20:16,195 I was shot! And I bet it's infected! I am weeping fluid here! 427 00:20:16,196 --> 00:20:19,031 Oh, my God, Zach, cut it out! 428 00:20:19,032 --> 00:20:20,741 All you do is complain. 429 00:20:20,742 --> 00:20:22,743 "I'm a self-centered Greek Smurf," and, 430 00:20:22,744 --> 00:20:26,538 "I-I got hit by a sniper, and now I have a boo-boo!" 431 00:20:26,539 --> 00:20:28,875 I can't take it anymore, bro! 432 00:20:30,168 --> 00:20:33,378 I'm done with Hollywood! 433 00:20:33,379 --> 00:20:35,005 - Middle child. - Single mom. 434 00:20:35,006 --> 00:20:37,090 Low thyroid. No, high. High thyroid. 435 00:20:37,091 --> 00:20:38,676 Three for three, fuckers! 436 00:20:39,260 --> 00:20:40,595 See? 437 00:20:41,095 --> 00:20:42,472 Detectives. 438 00:20:44,891 --> 00:20:46,558 Okay, fine. 439 00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:49,604 Actors, let's talk case. 440 00:20:51,648 --> 00:20:53,857 Come on, man. 441 00:20:53,858 --> 00:20:55,776 Look, I just need to see 442 00:20:55,777 --> 00:20:58,738 who is cashing my close personal friend's checks. 443 00:21:01,241 --> 00:21:03,659 - No. - I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. 444 00:21:03,660 --> 00:21:05,619 Please! Please, let me just have a look at that ledger. 445 00:21:05,620 --> 00:21:07,412 Sorry, it's against our policy. 446 00:21:07,413 --> 00:21:10,416 You're a bodega. You barely have a hand-washing policy. 447 00:21:18,925 --> 00:21:20,176 Oh. 448 00:21:22,595 --> 00:21:25,013 You trained a cat to guard your store? 449 00:21:25,014 --> 00:21:27,099 Sí. Gazpacho's tough. 450 00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:29,268 Well, how would you like for him to be a guest 451 00:21:29,269 --> 00:21:32,605 on the soon-to-be number one animal labor podcast in the country? 452 00:21:35,775 --> 00:21:38,027 Dudenoff! 453 00:21:43,449 --> 00:21:44,950 Another Dudenoff. 454 00:21:44,951 --> 00:21:46,578 These signatures don't match at all. 455 00:21:50,456 --> 00:21:52,333 Mabel, pick up, pick up, pick up, oh, my God. 456 00:21:52,917 --> 00:21:56,336 It all happened the night that Sazz died. 457 00:21:56,337 --> 00:22:00,382 Then the killer texted us, "I'm watching you," so we came here. 458 00:22:00,383 --> 00:22:02,634 There. Now, you know everything we know. 459 00:22:02,635 --> 00:22:05,429 - Okay, great, we'll take it from here. - Oh yeah, you think you got this? 460 00:22:05,430 --> 00:22:07,848 Mabel, you really have no idea 461 00:22:07,849 --> 00:22:11,852 about the breadth of our skill set here. 462 00:22:11,853 --> 00:22:14,480 Only 3% of our time is devoted 463 00:22:15,231 --> 00:22:16,481 to the actual job. 464 00:22:16,482 --> 00:22:19,401 The rest is spent developing talents 465 00:22:19,402 --> 00:22:23,489 that would be helpful in a character's back story, like, uh... 466 00:22:24,657 --> 00:22:30,287 I don't really cotton to Northern types, y'hear? 467 00:22:30,288 --> 00:22:31,414 You know, dialects. 468 00:22:32,123 --> 00:22:34,041 I can skin a deer. Somebody get me a deer. 469 00:22:34,042 --> 00:22:35,376 I can do card tricks. 470 00:22:38,046 --> 00:22:40,422 You guys are all such treasures, 471 00:22:40,423 --> 00:22:42,466 and I cannot wait to hear what you come up with, 472 00:22:42,467 --> 00:22:44,176 so, um, pick a room. 473 00:22:44,177 --> 00:22:45,887 I'll be in a different one. 474 00:22:49,682 --> 00:22:52,227 Ooh, welcome back, my little... 475 00:22:53,561 --> 00:22:54,895 What? 476 00:22:54,896 --> 00:22:56,314 Surprise! 477 00:22:56,773 --> 00:22:58,690 See what I'm trying out? 478 00:22:58,691 --> 00:23:01,151 To extend our time together a little bit? 479 00:23:01,152 --> 00:23:03,237 See? 'Cause look what I found. 480 00:23:03,238 --> 00:23:04,947 The watermelon liqueur! 481 00:23:04,948 --> 00:23:07,407 Oh, thanks, but I-I'm good. 482 00:23:07,408 --> 00:23:09,201 And I think that's A.1. Sauce. 483 00:23:09,202 --> 00:23:11,620 Oh. Either way. 484 00:23:11,621 --> 00:23:13,039 Oh. 485 00:23:13,790 --> 00:23:15,040 Didn't mean to interrupt. 486 00:23:15,041 --> 00:23:16,500 Loretta, please, interrupt. 487 00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:18,544 Uh, Doreen, uh, if you can... 488 00:23:18,545 --> 00:23:19,878 Yes. 489 00:23:19,879 --> 00:23:22,047 So, we have a long-distance relationship, 490 00:23:22,048 --> 00:23:25,092 so every second together is precious. 491 00:23:25,093 --> 00:23:26,844 Oh. Oh. 492 00:23:27,345 --> 00:23:30,723 Okay, so we're... we're best buds until Heidi... 493 00:23:32,016 --> 00:23:34,769 shows up, and then what am I? I'm dog meat? 494 00:23:35,853 --> 00:23:38,605 You know, I'm just tired of everybody jerkin' me around! 495 00:23:38,606 --> 00:23:40,899 Nobody's jerking anybody around. 496 00:23:40,900 --> 00:23:42,943 Yeah, I think people are jerking! 497 00:23:42,944 --> 00:23:45,029 - Ow! - Doreen! 498 00:23:45,697 --> 00:23:47,406 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 499 00:23:47,407 --> 00:23:50,826 I-I'm being rejected by my husband. I'm being rejected by your boyfriend. 500 00:23:50,827 --> 00:23:52,703 My own brother doesn't wanna talk to me! 501 00:23:52,704 --> 00:23:54,330 I'm... 502 00:23:55,081 --> 00:23:56,790 I put hands on you! 503 00:23:56,791 --> 00:23:58,584 Aw... 504 00:23:58,585 --> 00:24:00,586 - Poor thing. - Oof. 505 00:24:00,587 --> 00:24:02,421 But you can't blame her 506 00:24:02,422 --> 00:24:05,591 for being attracted to Oliver Putnam. You are a magnet. 507 00:24:05,592 --> 00:24:07,343 - Well... - Thanks. 508 00:24:09,637 --> 00:24:11,723 - Mm-hmm. - Mm... 509 00:24:12,307 --> 00:24:13,808 Okay. 510 00:24:16,936 --> 00:24:19,354 - Hey. Uh... - Here we are at the piano again. 511 00:24:19,355 --> 00:24:22,191 I'm just, I'm a little bit jealous 512 00:24:22,192 --> 00:24:25,361 of whatever it was you said to my stand-in yesterday. 513 00:24:26,696 --> 00:24:28,114 On the phone. 514 00:24:28,698 --> 00:24:30,408 Oh, it was just... I just... 515 00:24:31,659 --> 00:24:33,368 I think you had to be there. 516 00:24:33,369 --> 00:24:35,955 Yeah. But, what'd you say? 517 00:24:36,789 --> 00:24:38,416 Well, I-I just, uh... 518 00:24:39,334 --> 00:24:41,335 I just said that when we were at that party in LA, 519 00:24:41,336 --> 00:24:43,128 - you know, in that strange fire pit... - Ah, yeah. 520 00:24:43,129 --> 00:24:45,505 That, uh, I almost... 521 00:24:45,506 --> 00:24:47,175 proposed to you. 522 00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:50,385 You wh... You what? 523 00:24:50,386 --> 00:24:52,221 Well, it was just a spur-of-the-moment thing. 524 00:24:52,222 --> 00:24:54,348 You know, I mean, you were going to LA, 525 00:24:54,349 --> 00:24:57,643 - a-and I was afraid of losing you. - Oh, yeah. 526 00:24:57,644 --> 00:25:00,062 No, no, I-I don't mean I don't want to. 527 00:25:00,063 --> 00:25:02,731 Loretta, I adore you. I've been... 528 00:25:02,732 --> 00:25:06,276 spinning out of control trying to stay close to you. 529 00:25:06,277 --> 00:25:08,570 I mean, really I... 530 00:25:08,571 --> 00:25:12,366 I even invented a crafty heartland Insta-grammy 531 00:25:12,367 --> 00:25:14,494 j-just to see what you were up to. 532 00:25:15,370 --> 00:25:16,370 A what? 533 00:25:16,371 --> 00:25:18,413 "The only way to be yourself 534 00:25:18,414 --> 00:25:20,999 is to find yourself, yourself." 535 00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,211 Oh, my God, you're Ronnie? 536 00:25:24,295 --> 00:25:27,839 - Yeah. I... - Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 537 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:29,424 I connected with Ronnie. 538 00:25:29,425 --> 00:25:31,469 I-I-I... 539 00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:35,473 took screenshots of her memes. I-I... 540 00:25:36,015 --> 00:25:37,641 I told her things. 541 00:25:37,642 --> 00:25:39,810 - And she appreciated all of them. She... - Oh. 542 00:25:39,811 --> 00:25:43,605 So, you, what, you stalked me, and then you tricked me, 543 00:25:43,606 --> 00:25:46,400 and then you... were going to propose to me, 544 00:25:46,401 --> 00:25:48,193 but only because you were scared, 545 00:25:48,194 --> 00:25:50,780 and then you broke up with me over text? 546 00:25:52,115 --> 00:25:54,992 Well, when you list them all in a row like that... 547 00:25:54,993 --> 00:25:56,744 I need a minute. 548 00:25:57,662 --> 00:25:59,163 Loretta! I... 549 00:26:04,836 --> 00:26:06,546 Fuck. 550 00:26:13,386 --> 00:26:15,471 Oh, goddammit. 551 00:26:22,812 --> 00:26:23,813 Hello. 552 00:26:25,356 --> 00:26:26,357 Uh... 553 00:26:27,275 --> 00:26:30,778 I should... No, I-I want to apologize. 554 00:26:32,113 --> 00:26:34,032 I was outta line before. 555 00:26:34,657 --> 00:26:36,158 Crystal Light got on top of me. 556 00:26:36,159 --> 00:26:38,619 Yeah, well, 557 00:26:38,620 --> 00:26:41,039 we all have our moments. 558 00:26:41,414 --> 00:26:43,791 S-So, um... 559 00:26:45,251 --> 00:26:48,630 seems like things aren't going too well for you and your little man. 560 00:26:50,381 --> 00:26:52,591 I think my little man... 561 00:26:52,592 --> 00:26:54,177 might be crazy. 562 00:26:55,303 --> 00:26:58,305 Okay, what is it with everybody thinking that anyone 563 00:26:58,306 --> 00:27:00,390 who feels is crazy? 564 00:27:00,391 --> 00:27:02,768 I mean, maybe, maybe he's not crazy. 565 00:27:02,769 --> 00:27:04,645 M-Maybe he's just emotional! 566 00:27:04,646 --> 00:27:06,730 You know, and isn't that better than not feeling enough? 567 00:27:06,731 --> 00:27:08,649 I mean, his heart is an open book! 568 00:27:08,650 --> 00:27:11,527 Yeah, maybe you're right. 569 00:27:11,528 --> 00:27:14,947 - Maybe you're right. - Maybe, huh? 570 00:27:14,948 --> 00:27:17,991 What do I know, maybe. Or maybe I'm just a stupid idiot! 571 00:27:17,992 --> 00:27:19,535 Calm down now. 572 00:27:19,536 --> 00:27:21,537 Okay, don't tell me to calm down. 573 00:27:21,538 --> 00:27:23,539 Okay, why don't you go back to Beverly Hills?! 574 00:27:23,540 --> 00:27:25,332 Whoa! 575 00:27:25,333 --> 00:27:28,168 Listen, I rent a studio in Burbank. 576 00:27:28,169 --> 00:27:29,878 You know, it's under a Whole Foods. 577 00:27:29,879 --> 00:27:32,965 I don't need you throwing your rich bitch shit in my face. 578 00:27:32,966 --> 00:27:35,050 You need to calm down, really. 579 00:27:35,051 --> 00:27:36,426 You need to get out of my house, 580 00:27:36,427 --> 00:27:38,596 you Hollywood hussy! 581 00:27:39,889 --> 00:27:41,473 What is this? What is... 582 00:27:41,474 --> 00:27:43,642 - Get... Stop resisting! - Whoa! 583 00:27:43,643 --> 00:27:46,144 Stay away from me! No, what are you doing to me?! 584 00:27:46,145 --> 00:27:47,771 I don't know why you're eatin' your braids! 585 00:27:47,772 --> 00:27:49,606 - Oh, my God! - Why you eatin' 'em? 586 00:27:49,607 --> 00:27:52,234 Why you eatin' your braids, huh? Oh! 587 00:27:52,235 --> 00:27:54,236 She was in Moonraker. 588 00:27:54,237 --> 00:27:55,612 My pacemaker. 589 00:27:55,613 --> 00:27:56,780 My pacemaker! 590 00:27:56,781 --> 00:27:58,615 - My pacemaker. - I didn't know you had a pacemaker. 591 00:27:58,616 --> 00:28:00,576 Oh, my God. Oh. 592 00:28:00,577 --> 00:28:02,286 Oh, my God, I didn't know! 593 00:28:02,287 --> 00:28:05,039 I didn't know. 594 00:28:06,499 --> 00:28:09,668 I was acting. 595 00:28:09,669 --> 00:28:11,378 - Not very good. - And I took stage combat 596 00:28:11,379 --> 00:28:12,838 with Sensei Brian. 597 00:28:12,839 --> 00:28:14,506 Ha! 598 00:28:14,507 --> 00:28:17,050 Oh, my tooth! 599 00:28:17,051 --> 00:28:18,635 I should stop this! 600 00:28:18,636 --> 00:28:20,679 Who wears a train in their own house? 601 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:22,223 - Oh God! - No, no, no, I shouldn't! 602 00:28:25,101 --> 00:28:27,811 - Come here, baby! Ah! - My God! 603 00:28:27,812 --> 00:28:30,023 What was in that Crystal Light? Bath salts? 604 00:28:31,357 --> 00:28:32,482 Hey, Doreen! 605 00:28:32,483 --> 00:28:34,193 - Get her off me! - You gotta bridge! 606 00:28:34,194 --> 00:28:36,320 You're gonna have to get your hand in there for a choke hold. 607 00:28:36,321 --> 00:28:37,738 Bridge! Come on, kill! 608 00:28:37,739 --> 00:28:39,364 Whoa, whoa, easy, ladies! 609 00:28:39,365 --> 00:28:40,449 Get off me! Get off me! 610 00:28:40,450 --> 00:28:42,409 No need to fight over me like Loni Anderson and Charo! 611 00:28:42,410 --> 00:28:45,412 - Get off me! - Ow! 612 00:28:45,413 --> 00:28:47,122 Who's the chocolate Swiss Miss... 613 00:28:47,123 --> 00:28:49,374 - Get away, you bitch! - Are you sorry? 614 00:28:49,375 --> 00:28:51,502 I'm sorry you're on me! 615 00:28:53,588 --> 00:28:54,964 I'm sorry, too. 616 00:29:00,637 --> 00:29:03,555 Hey. You know, Doreen, uh... 617 00:29:03,556 --> 00:29:05,098 I'm a little worried about you. 618 00:29:05,099 --> 00:29:06,391 - Is that alright? - Yeah. 619 00:29:06,392 --> 00:29:08,769 I mean, your husband lives in the driveway, 620 00:29:08,770 --> 00:29:10,979 and you're fighting with a TV actress, 621 00:29:10,980 --> 00:29:13,649 and you're, you're stuck on this thing I did 622 00:29:13,650 --> 00:29:15,108 when you were a toddler. 623 00:29:15,109 --> 00:29:17,361 Oh, my God, fuck the spleen. 624 00:29:17,362 --> 00:29:19,112 Come on, I make jokes about it 625 00:29:19,113 --> 00:29:21,407 because it's not a big deal. 626 00:29:22,242 --> 00:29:24,284 It's not funny to me. 627 00:29:24,285 --> 00:29:27,747 I mean, y-you were so little, and I was... I was 19. 628 00:29:28,748 --> 00:29:30,415 And that day at the hospital, 629 00:29:30,416 --> 00:29:34,546 Mom wouldn't stop screaming at me. She never forgave me. 630 00:29:35,213 --> 00:29:37,715 She was bonkers, and y-you know that. 631 00:29:41,052 --> 00:29:43,555 Do you know why I remember going to see your play? 632 00:29:45,390 --> 00:29:48,434 Because Mom held my hand when we walked in. 633 00:29:52,522 --> 00:29:54,023 She held your hand? 634 00:29:55,441 --> 00:29:57,443 - Wow. - I know. 635 00:30:00,113 --> 00:30:02,615 I don't think she had ever done it before. 636 00:30:03,575 --> 00:30:05,577 And I don't ever remember her doing it again. 637 00:30:07,579 --> 00:30:09,664 God, she was so distant. 638 00:30:11,499 --> 00:30:13,334 And then, she was gone. 639 00:30:14,544 --> 00:30:16,337 And you were gone, too. 640 00:30:17,130 --> 00:30:18,631 Now, I'm this. 641 00:30:19,841 --> 00:30:21,758 - I visit. - Every now and then, 642 00:30:21,759 --> 00:30:25,095 but you're never really here, you know? 643 00:30:25,096 --> 00:30:28,181 Then, I heard your podcast and... 644 00:30:28,182 --> 00:30:29,976 heard you yucking it up with all... 645 00:30:30,852 --> 00:30:32,353 all your friends. 646 00:30:32,937 --> 00:30:35,397 The podcast is about our neighbors being murdered. 647 00:30:35,398 --> 00:30:37,483 Yeah, but you made it sound cozy. 648 00:30:39,944 --> 00:30:41,446 Somehow, it made me... 649 00:30:42,488 --> 00:30:44,114 feel even lonelier. 650 00:30:44,115 --> 00:30:45,699 Oh, God. 651 00:30:45,700 --> 00:30:47,785 I'm a needy mess. 652 00:30:49,662 --> 00:30:51,497 Well, I'm-I'm an uptight mess. 653 00:30:52,207 --> 00:30:55,584 - Can we just blame Mom? - Well, she's dead. 654 00:30:55,585 --> 00:30:57,754 It can't hurt. 655 00:31:02,467 --> 00:31:04,219 I think about you a lot. 656 00:31:05,053 --> 00:31:08,348 And I'd like to be better about staying in touch, if it's not too late. 657 00:31:09,849 --> 00:31:12,894 I would like that. I'd like that a lot. 658 00:31:13,561 --> 00:31:15,396 I would, too. 659 00:31:15,772 --> 00:31:18,398 Great news, everybody! Ah! 660 00:31:18,399 --> 00:31:21,652 I just had the best nap. I feel so good. 661 00:31:21,653 --> 00:31:24,821 Everything is so crystal clear to me now. 662 00:31:24,822 --> 00:31:26,406 You know, yelling at those actors 663 00:31:26,407 --> 00:31:30,035 reminded me of why I got into this business in the first place. 664 00:31:30,036 --> 00:31:31,662 It's because no matter what, 665 00:31:31,663 --> 00:31:35,415 I care so much! I realized it. 666 00:31:35,416 --> 00:31:37,417 Movies are my passion! 667 00:31:37,418 --> 00:31:40,254 And I yelled all of that at the head of the studio 668 00:31:40,255 --> 00:31:42,297 in my room for two hours, so guess what, 669 00:31:42,298 --> 00:31:43,757 Charles and leopard lady? 670 00:31:43,758 --> 00:31:46,301 The movie is now 671 00:31:46,302 --> 00:31:47,761 full speed ahead! 672 00:31:47,762 --> 00:31:48,971 Can you believe it? 673 00:31:48,972 --> 00:31:50,390 Back to business. 674 00:31:51,724 --> 00:31:53,142 Hollywood! 675 00:31:53,851 --> 00:31:55,395 Who is that fuckin' woman? 676 00:32:02,318 --> 00:32:05,404 Well, the car comes in a few minutes. 677 00:32:05,405 --> 00:32:07,490 So, to recap, 678 00:32:08,867 --> 00:32:11,786 I fought a woman, and I won. 679 00:32:13,371 --> 00:32:16,373 Also, I discovered you may be crazy. 680 00:32:16,374 --> 00:32:18,668 I-If I'm being honest, 681 00:32:20,295 --> 00:32:22,796 I haven't been in a relationship, 682 00:32:22,797 --> 00:32:24,883 a real one, for a decade. 683 00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:26,885 Maybe two. 684 00:32:28,052 --> 00:32:29,554 So... 685 00:32:30,722 --> 00:32:33,224 when I met you, I-I just... 686 00:32:34,809 --> 00:32:37,436 lost my cool. 687 00:32:37,437 --> 00:32:39,647 And I may never get it back. 688 00:32:40,315 --> 00:32:42,317 But, if, if... 689 00:32:42,692 --> 00:32:44,694 if you can't handle that... 690 00:32:46,070 --> 00:32:48,656 flavor of crazy, no one would blame you. 691 00:32:49,407 --> 00:32:50,407 S... 692 00:32:50,408 --> 00:32:53,995 So, if-if you wanna run, run. 693 00:32:57,290 --> 00:32:58,791 You don't have to sprint. 694 00:33:02,879 --> 00:33:06,841 Oliver, from the moment I met you, I knew, 695 00:33:07,508 --> 00:33:10,886 deep in my heart, that you were a lunatic. 696 00:33:10,887 --> 00:33:12,971 You must have, by my count, 697 00:33:12,972 --> 00:33:15,432 six different stories about 698 00:33:15,433 --> 00:33:17,935 running into Lynda Carter at grocery stores. 699 00:33:17,936 --> 00:33:20,729 Wonder Woman and a wonderful lady. 700 00:33:20,730 --> 00:33:23,440 Well, t-to the, to the point, 701 00:33:23,441 --> 00:33:26,944 despite your obvious pathologies, 702 00:33:26,945 --> 00:33:28,862 I'm here still. 703 00:33:28,863 --> 00:33:31,073 And I'm not going anywhere. 704 00:33:31,074 --> 00:33:33,868 And I sign on to your crazy... 705 00:33:35,078 --> 00:33:36,579 for a lifetime. 706 00:33:41,251 --> 00:33:44,337 You're... giving me a doll's bracelet? 707 00:33:46,798 --> 00:33:49,883 I'm proposing to you, Oliver. 708 00:33:49,884 --> 00:33:52,053 I wanna marry you. 709 00:33:55,139 --> 00:33:57,057 Well, before I accept, 710 00:33:57,058 --> 00:33:58,934 just out of curiosity, 711 00:33:58,935 --> 00:34:01,062 is there any family money? 712 00:34:06,484 --> 00:34:08,111 - I accept. - Oh... 713 00:34:10,822 --> 00:34:12,407 Wake up! 714 00:34:13,199 --> 00:34:15,243 Rise and shine! 715 00:34:16,744 --> 00:34:19,663 I gotta sleep! I have a hangover! 716 00:34:19,664 --> 00:34:22,249 Shut the fuck up! 717 00:34:22,250 --> 00:34:23,709 Thank you. 718 00:34:23,710 --> 00:34:25,669 - Case closed! - Oh, my God! 719 00:34:25,670 --> 00:34:27,588 Okay, wh-what's going on? 720 00:34:27,589 --> 00:34:29,214 Let me direct your attention 721 00:34:29,215 --> 00:34:30,883 to the Murder Wall! 722 00:34:30,884 --> 00:34:33,218 Which is like your murder board, but bigger, 723 00:34:33,219 --> 00:34:34,678 therefore, ours is better. 724 00:34:34,679 --> 00:34:36,680 For starters, w-we agree with you. 725 00:34:36,681 --> 00:34:39,349 Whosever cashing Dudenoff's checks is after you. 726 00:34:39,350 --> 00:34:41,101 But, looking back, 727 00:34:41,102 --> 00:34:43,687 - we believe that this mystery... - Mm-hmm. 728 00:34:43,688 --> 00:34:45,230 Did not start with Sazz's murder. 729 00:34:45,231 --> 00:34:47,691 - No. - No. It all goes back to season one, 730 00:34:47,692 --> 00:34:50,277 which, by the way, has more holes 731 00:34:50,278 --> 00:34:51,862 than Zach Galifianakis. 732 00:34:51,863 --> 00:34:54,406 I mean, th-they're all over the script! 733 00:34:54,407 --> 00:34:57,117 For instance, uh... yeah, who poisoned Winnie? 734 00:34:57,118 --> 00:34:59,411 You thought it was Sting. You know what, it wasn't Sting, 735 00:34:59,412 --> 00:35:00,954 and then, you just dropped it. 736 00:35:00,955 --> 00:35:02,624 Winnie? 737 00:35:03,499 --> 00:35:06,210 Oh, my God. Who would do this to you? 738 00:35:06,211 --> 00:35:07,711 I assumed it was Jan. 739 00:35:07,712 --> 00:35:10,173 Wrong! Look at the note on your door. 740 00:35:13,301 --> 00:35:15,552 "End the podcast or I will end you." See the smudge mark? 741 00:35:15,553 --> 00:35:17,387 That was written by a left-handed person. 742 00:35:17,388 --> 00:35:18,722 How could you know that? 743 00:35:18,723 --> 00:35:21,558 Because I studied handwriting when I played Marc Antonio 744 00:35:21,559 --> 00:35:24,269 in the un-produced pilot The Calligrapher's Wife. 745 00:35:24,270 --> 00:35:26,104 And Jan was not left-handed. 746 00:35:26,105 --> 00:35:28,274 - No. - Look at the way she holds her bassoon. 747 00:35:29,734 --> 00:35:32,361 I shadowed the Boston Pops when I was preparing 748 00:35:32,362 --> 00:35:34,280 for Symphony Chimp. 749 00:35:34,697 --> 00:35:36,490 Plot hole number two. 750 00:35:36,491 --> 00:35:38,785 The note on Jan's door. 751 00:35:40,453 --> 00:35:41,746 "I'm watching you." 752 00:35:42,247 --> 00:35:44,666 Just like the text message. 753 00:35:46,209 --> 00:35:49,336 - It's the... - Same person. Very good, Mabel. 754 00:35:49,337 --> 00:35:52,799 Your murderer has been after you since season one. 755 00:35:56,302 --> 00:35:58,805 And Sazz knew all of that. 756 00:35:59,597 --> 00:36:02,099 Think back to her apartment! Uh... 757 00:36:02,100 --> 00:36:03,893 "Sick pup." That's Winnie! 758 00:36:05,103 --> 00:36:08,105 "Door note." That's the note on Jan's door. 759 00:36:08,106 --> 00:36:11,650 Sazz figured this all out. Maybe that's what she wanted to tell me. 760 00:36:11,651 --> 00:36:14,027 Wow, I... 761 00:36:14,028 --> 00:36:17,406 I stand corrected. I guess I should've brought you guys in sooner. 762 00:36:17,407 --> 00:36:20,576 Thank you. Actors, one. Real-life dip shits, zero. 763 00:36:20,577 --> 00:36:22,871 Yes. Idiots. 764 00:36:27,542 --> 00:36:29,294 Why are you smiling? 765 00:36:30,503 --> 00:36:33,965 Oh, I-I know it's not the right time, but, uh... 766 00:36:35,216 --> 00:36:38,303 this bitch is gettin' married. 767 00:36:42,432 --> 00:36:44,016 You know, not for nothin', 768 00:36:44,017 --> 00:36:46,477 the truth is you can never be totally safe. 769 00:36:47,061 --> 00:36:51,231 The best you can do is find some people who love you, 770 00:36:51,232 --> 00:36:54,943 who'll share a bottle of red, a bottle of white... 771 00:36:54,944 --> 00:36:56,361 Well, okay, this is not a competition. 772 00:36:56,362 --> 00:36:59,489 Hey, hey! Look at this! Gang's all here, huh? 773 00:36:59,490 --> 00:37:01,159 Hey, Big Mike. 774 00:37:03,119 --> 00:37:04,912 How was brunch at Can-Cans? 775 00:37:04,913 --> 00:37:06,830 Oh, come on, babe. I just go there 776 00:37:06,831 --> 00:37:09,834 'cause they give cops the dinner menu at lunch prices. 777 00:37:10,668 --> 00:37:12,794 You know I'm not an ass guy. 778 00:37:12,795 --> 00:37:14,172 I'm a you guy. 779 00:37:16,466 --> 00:37:19,092 You have permission to board, and I don't mean the boat. 780 00:37:19,093 --> 00:37:21,094 Mm! 781 00:37:21,095 --> 00:37:22,387 Oh! 782 00:37:22,388 --> 00:37:24,682 - Captain Jack will get you high tonight. - Oh! 783 00:37:28,102 --> 00:37:29,895 Ooh! 784 00:37:29,896 --> 00:37:32,272 - That's good stuff. - Oh, hey, Chuckie, 785 00:37:32,273 --> 00:37:34,484 uh, your friend Howard's trying to reach you all. 786 00:37:35,318 --> 00:37:36,610 Somehow, he got my number. 787 00:37:36,611 --> 00:37:39,071 He says he knows who killed Dudenoff. 788 00:37:39,072 --> 00:37:41,156 Yeah, yeah, I wrote it down, so I'd get it right. 789 00:37:41,157 --> 00:37:44,076 He wanted me to tell you, uh, 790 00:37:44,077 --> 00:37:46,870 it wasn't just one person cashing his checks. 791 00:37:46,871 --> 00:37:50,040 He found five different signatures with one phone number. 792 00:37:50,041 --> 00:37:51,833 Go forward. Pause. 793 00:37:51,834 --> 00:37:54,045 Go forward, go forward. 794 00:37:56,172 --> 00:37:57,507 Go forward. 795 00:37:58,383 --> 00:37:59,967 Pause right there. 796 00:37:59,968 --> 00:38:01,051 Inez. 797 00:38:01,052 --> 00:38:02,470 Fast forward. 798 00:38:02,762 --> 00:38:05,222 Oh, my God. 799 00:38:05,223 --> 00:38:07,058 Go forward, go forward again. 800 00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:10,102 Rudy? 801 00:38:10,103 --> 00:38:12,188 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God. 802 00:38:13,231 --> 00:38:14,565 Oh, my God. Qué? 803 00:38:14,566 --> 00:38:16,317 Okay, I'm calling the number. 804 00:38:31,040 --> 00:38:32,749 Hello? 805 00:38:32,750 --> 00:38:34,544 This is Milton Dudenoff. 806 00:38:37,714 --> 00:38:39,424 Uh, whatever a "Westie" is, 807 00:38:40,091 --> 00:38:41,509 Howard says it was all of them. 808 00:38:48,224 --> 00:38:49,726 They know.