1
00:00:12,580 --> 00:00:14,800
Adam, will you please stop making that
horrible noise?

2
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:18,320
Oh, sorry. I didn't think you could hear
me over the blunder.

3
00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:26,160
I need a drink. Oh, you shouldn't use
alcohol to relieve stress.

4
00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,360
I'm sorry. Did I say lecture?

5
00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:29,820
Because I thought I said drink.

6
00:00:31,440 --> 00:00:32,439
What's going on?

7
00:00:32,479 --> 00:00:34,080
Well, I got into a car accident.

8
00:00:34,380 --> 00:00:35,380
My God, what happened?

9
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,960
I was talking on the phone, and I was
reaching for my iced coffee. And I

10
00:00:38,960 --> 00:00:43,540
to change the CD. So I was reaching
under the seat for the case, and then

11
00:00:43,540 --> 00:00:44,740
I slammed into another car.

12
00:00:45,620 --> 00:00:47,000
Well, you mustn't blame yourself.

13
00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:49,260
Don't you have any vodka?

14
00:00:49,620 --> 00:00:51,360
On Wednesdays, I let my fish swim in it.

15
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:54,380
Oh, you haven't heard the worst of it.

16
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:55,960
Guess who I hit?

17
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,499
Hi, Ellen.

18
00:00:58,500 --> 00:00:59,500
Hi, Adam.

19
00:01:00,880 --> 00:01:03,020
Audrey, you smudged your lipstick a
little bit.

20
00:01:03,780 --> 00:01:05,980
Audrey, are you sure you're okay?

21
00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:07,380
I think so.

22
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,940
There was a moment there right when you
slammed into me that everything went

23
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:11,940
black.

24
00:01:12,020 --> 00:01:13,980
I was drawn into this white light.

25
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,740
All my dead relatives were there.

26
00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:19,560
They seemed so happy.

27
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:24,180
And then they saw me and they said, go
back. You aren't finished on Earth yet.

28
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:26,790
All right, well, don't worry about the
car.

29
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:28,770
Get an estimate. I'll pay for
everything.

30
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:31,170
Well, the important thing is everybody's
okay.

31
00:01:31,390 --> 00:01:36,250
Right. Although, a near -death
experience does make one realize that

32
00:01:36,250 --> 00:01:37,250
short.

33
00:01:37,310 --> 00:01:38,570
You've got to go for the gusto.

34
00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:44,350
Goodbye.

35
00:01:48,210 --> 00:01:49,690
Well, it seems like she's over you.

36
00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:53,350
What is that you're drinking, and does
it have liquor in it?

37
00:01:53,660 --> 00:01:57,980
It's a seaweed protein shake. I'm
bulking up. 3 ,000 calories in one

38
00:01:57,980 --> 00:02:00,860
want some? No, I shouldn't. I had 3 ,000
frescas with lunch.

39
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:03,238
Excuse me.

40
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:04,400
Why are you bulking up?

41
00:02:05,040 --> 00:02:08,340
Women like it. That's not true. I don't.
No, I meant slutty women.

42
00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:10,680
Paige doesn't either.

43
00:02:12,780 --> 00:02:13,780
Okay.

44
00:02:14,060 --> 00:02:18,500
The real reason I'm bulking up is I'm
going to try out for the American

45
00:02:18,500 --> 00:02:19,500
Gladiators.

46
00:02:22,829 --> 00:02:24,190
Seriously, why are you bulking up?

47
00:02:24,450 --> 00:02:27,130
Next Saturday, I'm going to try out for
American Gladiators.

48
00:02:27,790 --> 00:02:28,790
What?

49
00:02:29,590 --> 00:02:30,630
I'm in good shape.

50
00:02:31,130 --> 00:02:34,830
Oh. Come on, you know, why don't you go
on Wheel of Fortune instead? Then you

51
00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:35,990
just have to bulk up the one arm.

52
00:02:38,310 --> 00:02:40,790
Okay, scoff now, worship later.

53
00:02:41,630 --> 00:02:46,370
Those gladiator guys are huge. They will
pound you. Not necessarily. I'll outfox

54
00:02:46,370 --> 00:02:47,950
them. I'm wily and I'm quick.

55
00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:51,330
Adam, this is you.

56
00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:54,120
This is the American Gladiators.

57
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:56,920
This is you on the American Gladiators.

58
00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:04,520
Any questions?

59
00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:18,820
Thanks for coming with me.

60
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:20,580
Hey, what are friends for?

61
00:03:21,150 --> 00:03:22,490
Offer a little moral support.

62
00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:24,170
And should you fail, take pictures.

63
00:03:26,790 --> 00:03:27,950
Oh, my God, look.

64
00:03:29,290 --> 00:03:30,290
Gladiators.

65
00:03:31,250 --> 00:03:32,250
That's ice.

66
00:03:32,570 --> 00:03:35,550
Ice is cold, but I can melt it.

67
00:03:35,810 --> 00:03:36,810
Can I help you?

68
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:39,170
I'm Adam Green. I'm here to try out.

69
00:03:39,390 --> 00:03:40,870
And I'm just here to watch.

70
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,330
We don't last spectators. You'll have to
wait outside.

71
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:46,210
Oh, but I'm his mother.

72
00:03:47,750 --> 00:03:48,709
Gladiator rules.

73
00:03:48,710 --> 00:03:50,670
The only way you could stay here is
if...

74
00:03:50,890 --> 00:03:53,630
You tried out yourself. No, I don't
think so.

75
00:03:54,390 --> 00:03:57,830
You look like you're in pretty good
shape. Well, it would be a chance for

76
00:03:57,830 --> 00:04:01,890
test yourself, to pitch yourself against
the best and see how you measure up.

77
00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:03,930
That's true.

78
00:04:04,570 --> 00:04:06,430
And it is kind of hot outside. What the
hell?

79
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:13,440
Man, I am in great shape. I mean, I
thought I was in good shape, but I had

80
00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:16,720
idea how good a shape I was in. I mean,
I am in peak condition. Do you know the

81
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,140
feeling? Is it similar to bleeding
internally?

82
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,200
Man, you should have seen me in
Powerball, too. That Becky woman thought

83
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:24,940
could score on me, but not on my watch.

84
00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:27,600
I know I've broken some ribs here.

85
00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:31,680
For what? To be disqualified just
because I couldn't do 30 chin -ups.

86
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:35,180
Oh, come on. Quantity isn't important.
It's form that matters, and you look

87
00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:36,200
great on both of yours.

88
00:05:38,150 --> 00:05:41,210
Anyway, look, all these people have
obviously been training for years. You

89
00:05:41,210 --> 00:05:43,070
expect to just waltz in here and get in.

90
00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:45,150
Ellen Morgan? Yeah, in. Yes!

91
00:05:47,930 --> 00:05:49,650
I'm going to go eat some gladiator
donuts.

92
00:05:54,050 --> 00:05:58,470
Hi. Hey, I saw you out there. You were
good. Oh, well, thank you. I was on my

93
00:05:58,470 --> 00:05:59,550
high school gladiator team.

94
00:06:01,190 --> 00:06:02,630
I'm Nitro. Oh, I'm Ellen.

95
00:06:02,950 --> 00:06:06,150
Actually, my real name's Dan. Oh, well,
my real name is Madam Destructo.

96
00:06:11,910 --> 00:06:12,910
Madam.

97
00:06:13,210 --> 00:06:14,690
Nice. I know.

98
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,250
I'm a big fan.

99
00:06:18,410 --> 00:06:20,850
Say, aren't you a model, too?

100
00:06:21,510 --> 00:06:25,270
Yeah. Because I happen to be a
photographer, and I'm always interested

101
00:06:25,270 --> 00:06:26,270
expanding my portfolio.

102
00:06:27,670 --> 00:06:28,910
Are you coming on to me?

103
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:30,490
I just might be.

104
00:06:34,190 --> 00:06:37,110
You can get pretty rough around here. So
you think you got it? Yeah, you block

105
00:06:37,110 --> 00:06:39,470
with the left, dunk with the right.
Block with the left, dunk with the

106
00:06:39,550 --> 00:06:42,530
Block, dunk, block. Okay, good, good,
good, good. I think you got it. Listen,

107
00:06:42,750 --> 00:06:45,310
I've got to take off, but maybe sometime
this week I can give you some more

108
00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:46,310
pointers. Okay.

109
00:06:46,850 --> 00:06:47,850
Over dinner?

110
00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:49,530
Oh, it's all happening so fast.

111
00:06:50,890 --> 00:06:51,950
Then maybe I can call you.

112
00:06:52,610 --> 00:06:54,930
Okay, yeah. Try me at my bookstore. Buy
the book.

113
00:06:55,430 --> 00:06:59,870
Buy is spelled B -U -Y, and the book,
they're just regular words.

114
00:07:01,050 --> 00:07:02,590
Nice meeting you, Ellen. You too.

115
00:07:03,270 --> 00:07:04,270
Nitro?

116
00:07:13,070 --> 00:07:16,270
Joe, I just got this letter in the mail.
Well, if nothing's too trivial to

117
00:07:16,270 --> 00:07:17,530
mention, I just swallowed my gum.

118
00:07:20,290 --> 00:07:21,249
That's funny.

119
00:07:21,250 --> 00:07:24,710
I think it's comments like that that may
have inspired Mr. Brian Fisher to

120
00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:25,710
write.

121
00:07:27,290 --> 00:07:29,950
Dear proprietor, I'm a regular customer,
blah, blah, blah.

122
00:07:30,290 --> 00:07:32,850
Books are my only source of happiness.
This is my wife's death, blah, blah,

123
00:07:32,910 --> 00:07:33,799
blah.

124
00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:37,880
But I find your coffee server rude,
sarcastic, and given to fits of

125
00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:38,880
anger.

126
00:07:39,740 --> 00:07:40,740
What'd you do to this guy?

127
00:07:41,220 --> 00:07:44,320
Ellen, if I'm sure of one thing, it's my
dealings with customers I'm always

128
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:45,320
helpful and polite.

129
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:48,840
Actually, I've noticed you can be a
little gruff.

130
00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,200
Did you say something, Baldy Beardo?

131
00:07:56,780 --> 00:07:58,840
Joe, why don't you try to be nice to all
the customers?

132
00:07:59,180 --> 00:08:01,780
Baldy Beardo, giant nose man.

133
00:08:03,239 --> 00:08:05,260
Johnny Toupet, Wart Woman, all the
regulars.

134
00:08:09,260 --> 00:08:11,460
Ellen, Audrey is suing me.

135
00:08:11,660 --> 00:08:14,440
Over that car thing? Yeah, I got served
this morning. Look at this.

136
00:08:14,680 --> 00:08:17,220
Property damage, grievous injury,
emotional distress.

137
00:08:17,620 --> 00:08:21,460
I mean, I have listened to her
screeching, obnoxious voice for the past

138
00:08:21,460 --> 00:08:23,560
months, and she is suing me for
emotional distress.

139
00:08:25,780 --> 00:08:28,820
Paige, it's always such a treat to see
you. Can I offer you a cup of coffee?

140
00:08:34,760 --> 00:08:36,100
So, are you going out with Nitro?

141
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,100
I don't think so. I don't know. I mean,
what if the relationship progressed? I

142
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:46,900
just can't see myself calling out, Oh,
Nitro. Oh, Nitro. But he's a celebrity.

143
00:08:46,900 --> 00:08:48,740
mean, think of all the great stories you
could get from that.

144
00:08:49,020 --> 00:08:50,560
You go out with guys for great stories?

145
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,660
What, do you think I dated Richard
Mulligan because I liked him?

146
00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:57,540
Hi, Ellen. Hi, Paige. Anyone up for
lunch?

147
00:08:58,540 --> 00:09:00,960
Audrey, sue anyone on the way over?

148
00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:07,600
My insurance guy is so aggressive.

149
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:09,940
Ellen, these came for you.

150
00:09:10,460 --> 00:09:12,520
Really? Yeah. I never get flowers.

151
00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,640
Be my glycerin, love Nitro.

152
00:09:22,180 --> 00:09:23,700
Adam, Nitro's going to be here any
second.

153
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:25,860
Just let me finish my ice cream and I'm
gone.

154
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:39,030
Why can't I stay and meet him? Why is
this so important to you?

155
00:09:39,310 --> 00:09:42,210
Well, you know, I was thinking that he
and I could start hanging out.

156
00:09:44,270 --> 00:09:46,230
You know, I don't have many jock
friends.

157
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:47,990
You don't have any jock friends.

158
00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:50,930
Well, what about Andy? He rides
dressage.

159
00:09:52,590 --> 00:09:55,570
Anyway, as soon as Nitro gets here, he
and I are going to bond like nobody's

160
00:09:55,570 --> 00:09:56,570
business.

161
00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:57,950
That's him.

162
00:09:59,710 --> 00:10:00,710
Okay, I'm ready.

163
00:10:09,939 --> 00:10:10,879
More flowers.

164
00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:11,880
Yeah, I like them.

165
00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:14,360
That must have been a tough moment for
you in your life.

166
00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,520
Florist, gladiator.

167
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:18,680
What do I do?

168
00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:23,800
Oh, this is my friend Adam.

169
00:10:24,500 --> 00:10:25,500
Hey.

170
00:10:25,780 --> 00:10:26,780
How's it going, man?

171
00:10:26,980 --> 00:10:27,980
Good. You?

172
00:10:28,060 --> 00:10:29,060
Good.

173
00:10:29,220 --> 00:10:30,220
You?

174
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,120
Good.

175
00:10:34,460 --> 00:10:37,140
Well, it's hard to know when to jump
into this conversation, but...

176
00:10:39,050 --> 00:10:40,810
We should get going. Sure, let's go.

177
00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:45,050
This wine is wonderful.

178
00:10:45,590 --> 00:10:46,930
It's a Louis Latour 1967.

179
00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:48,930
I discovered it when I was in Paris.

180
00:10:49,670 --> 00:10:52,150
Really? Were you on Le Gladiator
Francais?

181
00:10:53,610 --> 00:10:56,250
Actually, I was abroad to study. I got
my degree in French literature.

182
00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:58,970
Really? I mean, really, really?

183
00:11:00,770 --> 00:11:04,190
What, you think because of what I do for
a living I must be some kind of moron

184
00:11:04,190 --> 00:11:05,510
or something? Yes, I do.

185
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:09,680
I feel terrible, but I did.

186
00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:11,520
It's all right.

187
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:15,340
When you weigh 210 and wear a spandex
tank top to work, you're kind of asking

188
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:16,340
for it.

189
00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:20,200
So, uh, do you like gladiating? Oh,
yeah, I love it.

190
00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,020
It's physical, it's fun.

191
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,240
Every once in a while, you get to meet
someone very special.

192
00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:27,580
Oh, Nitro.

193
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,520
Is that a chini alfongi? Thank you.

194
00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,000
And you had the turkey.

195
00:11:42,940 --> 00:11:47,080
Sure. Let me get your fresh cup. Thank
you. And may I say the service here is

196
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:48,080
excellent.

197
00:11:48,420 --> 00:11:49,420
It's my pleasure.

198
00:11:50,260 --> 00:11:51,880
Brian. It's Bill.

199
00:11:52,220 --> 00:11:54,680
Oh. Oh, could you get me some more
cream?

200
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:55,960
You got legs? Get it yourself.

201
00:11:58,980 --> 00:12:00,300
How's the protein shake coming?

202
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,620
Mmm, that's good seaweed. Want some?

203
00:12:02,820 --> 00:12:04,900
No, I think I'll snack on some of this
trash.

204
00:12:07,780 --> 00:12:09,220
So how's it going with nitro?

205
00:12:09,740 --> 00:12:10,740
It's going great.

206
00:12:10,840 --> 00:12:14,100
I'm going to see him again this weekend.
I am dating an American gladiator. Joe,

207
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:14,999
no jokes.

208
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,020
I think it's sweet.

209
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,340
But if things don't work out, I can set
you up with a Mighty Morphin Power

210
00:12:19,340 --> 00:12:20,340
Ranger.

211
00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:25,060
Yeah, keep laughing. I won't have you
around next time Nitro's over.

212
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,540
Hey, don't even joke about that.

213
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,220
We really hit it off.

214
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:32,080
Ellen.

215
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:33,420
Nitro.

216
00:12:33,560 --> 00:12:35,280
Hey. Hi. What a nice surprise.

217
00:12:35,620 --> 00:12:36,620
Hey, Nitro.

218
00:12:37,140 --> 00:12:39,180
How's it going, ma 'am? Good, you? Good,
you?

219
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:40,540
Good.

220
00:12:43,950 --> 00:12:45,270
Listen, I've got to talk to Ellen, all
right?

221
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:47,190
Gotcha.

222
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:50,470
Can we go sit down for a second? Yeah.

223
00:12:55,830 --> 00:12:56,830
What's up?

224
00:12:57,110 --> 00:13:01,250
Well, first of all, I had a great time
last night. Oh, me too. I did. And it

225
00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:03,930
so nice of you to turn those people's
motorhome back on its wheels.

226
00:13:06,730 --> 00:13:09,530
The thing is, though, I can't see you
anymore.

227
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:11,490
Because you're going blind?

228
00:13:14,890 --> 00:13:18,730
It's not you. I mean, you're great,
you're pretty, you're funny, you're

229
00:13:19,110 --> 00:13:20,110
I can change.

230
00:13:21,730 --> 00:13:23,530
I just don't feel we have any chemistry.

231
00:13:24,430 --> 00:13:25,430
Oh.

232
00:13:26,390 --> 00:13:31,630
Well, I thought we did, but, um... Okay.
I mean, I understand. That's fine.

233
00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:35,950
Sorry, Ellen. Okay. Bye.

234
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:44,540
What did you do to him?

235
00:13:51,020 --> 00:13:55,600
Oh, Ellen, I'm so sorry Nyko dumped you.
Did he give you any reason?

236
00:13:56,440 --> 00:14:00,420
Chemistry. You know how that's spelled.
T -O -O -F -A -T.

237
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:11,600
I'm so tired. I should... I should,
uh... You should go.

238
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:19,420
Audrey, you have not to call your lawyer
off of me. I mean, now my bank accounts

239
00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:20,159
are frozen.

240
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,660
It's just until we verify your assets.

241
00:14:22,580 --> 00:14:23,920
How can you sue a friend?

242
00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,160
It's not personal.

243
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:29,640
Even my mom and I are suing each other.
I stuck the subpoena into her Mother's

244
00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:30,640
Day card.

245
00:14:31,540 --> 00:14:34,880
But I'm sensing a little hostility, so
maybe I'll scoot.

246
00:14:35,420 --> 00:14:36,680
Bye, Ellen. Bye, Paige.

247
00:14:37,140 --> 00:14:38,140
Drop dead, Audrey.

248
00:14:38,540 --> 00:14:39,540
You silly.

249
00:14:41,580 --> 00:14:43,980
Chip, I thought you were in training.

250
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,320
I am. I'm carbo -loading.

251
00:14:46,549 --> 00:14:49,910
Those are high in fat. So I'm fat
-loading. The point is I'm loading.

252
00:14:51,630 --> 00:14:52,629
Competition's tomorrow.

253
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:53,630
You looking forward to it?

254
00:14:54,030 --> 00:14:56,810
I guess so. I just don't know what to
say when I see nitro.

255
00:14:57,210 --> 00:15:03,290
How about, um, go to hell, you had your
chance, you ridiculous, over -inflated

256
00:15:03,290 --> 00:15:04,410
loser. Yeah.

257
00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:06,630
Or, hi.

258
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:28,460
Mike Adamley will interview you in a
couple of minutes, and then you go to

259
00:15:28,460 --> 00:15:31,780
jobs. Fired up, Morgan. I sure am,
Freeman Snyder.

260
00:15:35,260 --> 00:15:36,260
Hi, Adam.

261
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:37,620
Hi, Paige.

262
00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:45,940
Um, Paige, I've been meaning to ask you.
Do you own your car outright, or are

263
00:15:45,940 --> 00:15:46,940
you still making payments?

264
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,080
I own it.

265
00:15:49,380 --> 00:15:50,380
Why?

266
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,060
Just making conversation.

267
00:15:59,470 --> 00:16:01,310
I saw that skinny -looking bookworm you
were dating.

268
00:16:01,630 --> 00:16:05,910
Ellen, I liked her. You did not. You're
only dating her to make me jealous.

269
00:16:06,210 --> 00:16:10,570
No, I really think that I like... Nitro,
let me do the thinking. You just sit

270
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,570
there and look pretty.

271
00:16:14,950 --> 00:16:16,750
Well, well, well, Nitro.

272
00:16:18,490 --> 00:16:19,990
Ellen. Now I see the truth.

273
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:23,890
I was just a pawn in your sick little
gladiator love game.

274
00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:28,290
Funny, they didn't tell me that it was
scrawny.

275
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:29,800
Loser week?

276
00:16:30,700 --> 00:16:32,700
You call yourself a gladiator?

277
00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,140
You wouldn't last a day in ancient Rome.

278
00:16:35,800 --> 00:16:37,900
Here you are. We need you for your
interview.

279
00:16:42,780 --> 00:16:47,340
Well, Ellen, your first event is the
joust. I imagine you are psyched. Not

280
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:48,740
really, no. Well, sure you are.

281
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:51,580
What's the point?

282
00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:55,760
Okay, so how about an opinion about your
first opponent?

283
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,880
You've got a mighty tough draw, Ice.

284
00:17:00,170 --> 00:17:01,129
I'm going up against ice.

285
00:17:01,130 --> 00:17:03,550
Right here, right now. What do you think
about that?

286
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:05,750
I'll kill it. Oh, that's the spirit.

287
00:17:06,950 --> 00:17:09,829
No, no, no. I mean it. I'll kill you,
Ice. You hear me? You're a dead woman.

288
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:13,410
are one dead gladiator. When I get done
with you, you won't even be a gladiator.

289
00:17:13,569 --> 00:17:16,810
You'll be a... You'll be a satiator!
Well, there you have it. And it looks

290
00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:18,990
we have to make ends of a mighty good
grudge match.

291
00:17:21,310 --> 00:17:22,310
Hey,

292
00:17:22,410 --> 00:17:23,410
look. There's Ellen.

293
00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:25,310
And there's Nitro.

294
00:17:25,810 --> 00:17:26,869
Hey, Nitro!

295
00:17:27,390 --> 00:17:28,510
How you doing, buddy?

296
00:17:34,670 --> 00:17:35,670
He's a friend of mine.

297
00:17:40,210 --> 00:17:45,370
So the stage is set. Our marquee event,
the Chows, and our challenger, Ellen

298
00:17:45,370 --> 00:17:49,870
Morgan, the belligerent bookseller,
taking on our very own Ice Ice Baby.

299
00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:56,830
Contenders always look mean before this
event, but with these two, it almost

300
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:57,830
seems personal.

301
00:17:58,930 --> 00:18:00,730
Three, two, one.

302
00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:07,440
I'm certainly not intimidated.

303
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:09,660
She's a regular raging retailer.

304
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:18,460
Uh -oh, it could be curtains for the
smoking small businesswoman. Ellen in

305
00:18:18,460 --> 00:18:20,580
trouble. She's in big trouble.

306
00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:24,980
Thanks for keeping nice and warm for me.

307
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:36,400
That's from something to me?

308
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,380
That's because I just don't like you.

309
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:43,700
I don't believe this. What else, Jen?
Edwin Morgan has nothing. He's still

310
00:18:48,200 --> 00:18:49,300
Christ, look who it was.

311
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,000
Who's the gladiator now?

312
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:53,120
Who's the gladiator now?

313
00:18:53,340 --> 00:18:57,140
I can handle it. I can handle it. I can
handle it. Hey, you were spectacular.

314
00:18:57,840 --> 00:18:59,300
Can I get another chance, please?

315
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:01,020
Sure, I'll give you another chance.

316
00:19:16,700 --> 00:19:17,700
Disqualified, huh?

317
00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:19,580
Unsportsmanlike conduct.

318
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,980
First time in American gladiator
history. But you know what? It was worth

319
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:25,040
Plus, I got this neat hat.

320
00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:29,900
Oh, by the way, you left that seaweed
stuff out. Oh, throw that out. Throw it

321
00:19:29,900 --> 00:19:31,480
out. Better yet, you know what you
should do?

322
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:35,340
Put on like a safe suit or something and
get in the car and drive about five

323
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:39,160
miles out of town and bury it way deep
down in somebody's backyard or

324
00:19:39,400 --> 00:19:42,060
Don't let Diane Sawyer or anybody see
you because you'd get in trouble. Come

325
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:44,720
back and scrub down real good.

326
00:19:46,909 --> 00:19:48,770
Okay. Ellen, I have got the best news.

327
00:19:49,030 --> 00:19:51,870
I just got into another car accident.
Hey, that is good news.

328
00:19:52,670 --> 00:19:54,130
Paige, I am so sorry.

329
00:19:59,150 --> 00:20:01,770
Again? Yeah, and this time she hit me.

330
00:20:02,050 --> 00:20:05,470
You stopped so suddenly. It was almost
as if you wanted me to hit you.

331
00:20:07,590 --> 00:20:08,590
You silly.

332
00:20:10,170 --> 00:20:11,690
You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

333
00:20:11,930 --> 00:20:15,680
Oh, Paige, we're friends. Why can't we
just handle this between us? Because I

334
00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:17,900
think this way it would be so much more
of a hoot.

335
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,520
Could I get a refill, please?

336
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,740
Sure, why don't you have a seat and I'll
bring it right to you.

337
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,240
Brian.

338
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:28,860
How'd you know my name?

339
00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:30,380
Wild guess.

340
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:32,300
Oh, that.

341
00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,580
Look, I hope that didn't get you into
trouble.

342
00:20:35,980 --> 00:20:38,720
Oh, no, not at all. Because I have to
say, you've changed.

343
00:20:39,100 --> 00:20:41,880
You're courteous, attentive,
professional.

344
00:20:43,260 --> 00:20:48,080
Let's... Let's just put that whole
misunderstanding behind us. Sure we can.

345
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,060
Tell you what, as a peace offering, I'll
make you one of my special St. Paddy's

346
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:53,060
Day cappuccinos.

347
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:56,960
That sounds wonderful. Thanks.