1 00:00:06,682 --> 00:00:07,583 Jenna: Lindy Littlejohn, 2 00:00:07,616 --> 00:00:09,793 accused of plagiarizing her short story 3 00:00:09,826 --> 00:00:11,011 by the author's own daughter. 4 00:00:11,345 --> 00:00:14,214 -She stole it from one of her students. 5 00:00:14,248 --> 00:00:15,841 She's a liar. Mike: You'll regret it. 6 00:00:15,874 --> 00:00:17,968 -I am her literal regret. 7 00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:19,803 Young Lulu: "I dream of a life without a daughter, 8 00:00:19,836 --> 00:00:21,513 sucking at the teat of inspiration." 9 00:00:21,547 --> 00:00:23,056 Mom hates me. 10 00:00:23,090 --> 00:00:24,641 Terry: The Pulitzer committee is meeting 11 00:00:24,675 --> 00:00:26,018 and there's talk of rescinding your award. 12 00:00:26,051 --> 00:00:27,352 -What am I without it? 13 00:00:27,386 --> 00:00:28,562 -A former client. 14 00:00:28,595 --> 00:00:30,022 Lindy: Eight packs of toilet paper? 15 00:00:30,055 --> 00:00:31,023 Hundreds. 16 00:00:31,056 --> 00:00:32,399 I'm his fucking lab rat. 17 00:00:32,432 --> 00:00:34,401 -You're having an affair with my physicist? 18 00:00:34,434 --> 00:00:35,619 [screams] 19 00:00:36,019 --> 00:00:37,029 -[gasps] 20 00:00:37,062 --> 00:00:38,322 -No! 21 00:00:38,355 --> 00:00:39,406 [groans] 22 00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:41,408 Les: Richard. 23 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:42,576 Have I killed a man? 24 00:00:42,609 --> 00:00:43,994 -[gasps] You're alive! 25 00:00:44,027 --> 00:00:46,747 -Les has 30 days to solve the formula 26 00:00:46,780 --> 00:00:49,166 or he's fired and the tech reverts to Hilton. 27 00:00:49,199 --> 00:00:50,834 -Another fuckin' lie! 28 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,711 -I need space from you. 29 00:00:52,744 --> 00:00:54,504 -Fucking Les. -Oh, fuck! 30 00:00:54,538 --> 00:00:57,174 -[fire alarm beeping] -You can't solve the formula. 31 00:00:57,207 --> 00:01:00,510 And I plan to make the next 21 days of your life 32 00:01:00,544 --> 00:01:02,554 - a living hell. -[screams] 33 00:01:02,588 --> 00:01:03,605 [Lindy laughs] 34 00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:10,737 [ominous music playing] 35 00:01:19,605 --> 00:01:20,998 Lindy: Les. 36 00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:24,743 You're stuck in a bad dream. 37 00:01:24,776 --> 00:01:27,204 We both are. 38 00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:29,256 Les, wake up. 39 00:01:32,909 --> 00:01:36,346 -[gasps] Lindy, you're you. 40 00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:38,548 -I'm me. 41 00:01:38,582 --> 00:01:40,050 -Is it over? 42 00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:41,218 -It is for me. 43 00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:42,219 -What happened? 44 00:01:42,252 --> 00:01:44,137 Lindy: I lost my Pulitzer. 45 00:01:44,171 --> 00:01:48,642 I was outed as a plagiarist by our daughter. 46 00:01:48,675 --> 00:01:51,269 -Oh. Lindy: She's so clever 47 00:01:51,303 --> 00:01:53,105 and bright. 48 00:01:53,138 --> 00:01:55,198 [sighs] Loathes me. 49 00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:58,318 But not you. -I'm sorry. 50 00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:01,071 I would be devastated if she loathed me. 51 00:02:01,104 --> 00:02:03,073 -It's all right, really. 52 00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:04,783 I am a fraud. 53 00:02:04,816 --> 00:02:06,326 One book. 54 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:09,454 I'm relieved. -That was your prize. 55 00:02:09,488 --> 00:02:11,915 [gasps] Now that I've solved the formula, 56 00:02:11,948 --> 00:02:13,834 I'm gonna get mine. 57 00:02:13,867 --> 00:02:16,128 Lindy: Oh, you're confused. 58 00:02:16,161 --> 00:02:17,754 You didn't solve anything. 59 00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:20,257 You're never going to get your prize. 60 00:02:20,290 --> 00:02:22,259 You're a fraud, too. 61 00:02:22,292 --> 00:02:24,261 -Then I need you to respect me, Lindy. 62 00:02:24,294 --> 00:02:26,013 I can't be alone. 63 00:02:26,046 --> 00:02:27,597 -You are alone. 64 00:02:27,631 --> 00:02:30,017 -But you're here. 65 00:02:30,050 --> 00:02:31,652 -Am I? 66 00:02:32,636 --> 00:02:34,821 Wake up! 67 00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,033 [gasping] 68 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:43,163 -Lindy? 69 00:02:45,857 --> 00:02:47,668 Lindy: I'm still here, Les. 70 00:02:49,486 --> 00:02:51,788 -No, you're not. 71 00:02:51,822 --> 00:02:54,124 And I'm dreaming. 72 00:02:54,157 --> 00:02:55,342 Lindy: No. 73 00:02:56,368 --> 00:02:58,095 This is real. 74 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:00,889 I'm right here. 75 00:03:06,503 --> 00:03:08,605 Boo! -[yelps] 76 00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:14,478 -Where are you? 77 00:03:14,511 --> 00:03:15,812 Lindy. 78 00:03:15,846 --> 00:03:17,022 Where are you? 79 00:03:17,055 --> 00:03:18,315 Lindy. 80 00:03:18,348 --> 00:03:21,368 [ominous music playing] 81 00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:35,382 -[sighs] 82 00:03:36,867 --> 00:03:38,585 Lindy: Guilt won't let you sleep. 83 00:03:38,618 --> 00:03:41,388 -You're the one who should be feeling guilty! 84 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,141 Lindy: Me? -Yes! 85 00:03:44,508 --> 00:03:45,600 Lindy: Richard. 86 00:03:46,626 --> 00:03:48,512 Dolores. 87 00:03:48,545 --> 00:03:50,730 -I can't do this. I can't-- 88 00:03:52,716 --> 00:03:53,900 found you. 89 00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:58,071 You sadist. 90 00:03:58,555 --> 00:03:59,906 [laughs] 91 00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,330 -Shit. 92 00:04:10,066 --> 00:04:11,368 Lindy: Dr. Carmichael said... 93 00:04:11,401 --> 00:04:14,037 -Oh, fuck that bitch and fuck you! 94 00:04:14,070 --> 00:04:16,039 Lindy: Les, that is a red-light reaction. 95 00:04:16,072 --> 00:04:17,457 -Oh, you're in my head. 96 00:04:17,491 --> 00:04:18,792 You're in my head, you're in my head, 97 00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:19,960 you're in my head, you're in my--oh! 98 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:21,044 Oh! Oh, God! 99 00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:22,045 Lindy: Dr. Carmichael says 100 00:04:22,078 --> 00:04:24,047 we can't be afraid to expose 101 00:04:24,080 --> 00:04:25,257 our naked selves, 102 00:04:25,290 --> 00:04:26,633 even if it makes us feel 103 00:04:26,666 --> 00:04:29,886 vulnerable and scared. 104 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,813 [ominous music playing] 105 00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:44,159 -We're goin' God mode. 106 00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:48,238 Connect, connect, connect, connect, 107 00:04:48,271 --> 00:04:50,407 connect, connect, connect. 108 00:04:50,440 --> 00:04:53,577 -You have no power if you have no power! 109 00:04:53,610 --> 00:04:56,079 -Don't you dare touch that circuit breaker, Les. 110 00:04:56,112 --> 00:04:57,130 I will crush you. 111 00:05:00,283 --> 00:05:01,793 -I touch what I wanna touch. 112 00:05:01,827 --> 00:05:04,421 I exist without restraint. 113 00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:06,673 Lindy: You live in darkness. 114 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:10,427 Full fucking throttle. 115 00:05:10,460 --> 00:05:13,972 You will tremble to think of all the things I can do 116 00:05:14,005 --> 00:05:15,190 while you sleep. 117 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:19,144 Sun's out, buns out. 118 00:05:19,177 --> 00:05:20,487 -Oh. 119 00:05:24,683 --> 00:05:27,110 -[chuckles] Les: Fuck this! 120 00:05:27,143 --> 00:05:29,362 I'm checking into the Courtyard Marriott. 121 00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,947 -Uh-uh, if you don't come home, 122 00:05:30,981 --> 00:05:33,950 I will report myself a missing person. 123 00:05:33,984 --> 00:05:35,160 Les: You wouldn't. 124 00:05:35,193 --> 00:05:36,536 -I would. 125 00:05:36,570 --> 00:05:38,788 I will Gone Girl myself. 126 00:05:38,822 --> 00:05:41,208 How are you gonna explain your actions to the police? 127 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:43,335 -You monster! Lindy: I'm your monster, 128 00:05:43,368 --> 00:05:44,794 Dr. Franken-fuck. 129 00:05:44,828 --> 00:05:46,296 [doorbell rings] 130 00:05:46,329 --> 00:05:48,348 [jazz music playing] 131 00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:55,855 -Uh, oh, my bad. 132 00:05:59,009 --> 00:06:00,527 [door lock clicks] 133 00:06:04,014 --> 00:06:07,534 Lindy: Enough to wipe your ass for 192 days. 134 00:06:08,018 --> 00:06:09,369 Trust me. 135 00:06:11,938 --> 00:06:14,624 You're my prisoner now. 136 00:06:19,738 --> 00:06:22,757 [ears ringing] [muffled breathing] 137 00:06:27,454 --> 00:06:30,006 Martin: Hello? -[gasps] 138 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:31,216 Hello. [clears throat] 139 00:06:31,249 --> 00:06:33,176 Hi, Martin. Hi. Uh, yes. 140 00:06:33,209 --> 00:06:35,220 -Are you sleeping? Your eyes were open. 141 00:06:35,253 --> 00:06:36,429 -No, I was resting. 142 00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:39,015 It's been a long, um, long life. 143 00:06:39,049 --> 00:06:41,851 -Are you able to... to receive information? 144 00:06:41,885 --> 00:06:43,853 Because we've got a problem. 145 00:06:43,887 --> 00:06:44,896 -What is the problem? 146 00:06:44,930 --> 00:06:46,523 -Oh, problem is that Hilton 147 00:06:46,556 --> 00:06:51,236 has moved up the investor presentation to tomorrow. 148 00:06:51,269 --> 00:06:53,863 He was so impressed with your little party trick. 149 00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:55,532 -So was Dr. Schaffhausen. 150 00:06:55,565 --> 00:06:58,785 I'm gonna get the Nobel Prize in Sweden. 151 00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:02,247 Uh, the King-- -Les, buddy, 152 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:05,375 unless you can figure out the formula, 153 00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:07,043 there is no Nobel. 154 00:07:07,077 --> 00:07:09,212 -I've-- -No, there is no lab. 155 00:07:09,245 --> 00:07:11,756 There is no you, there is no me. 156 00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:14,217 There is fraud. 157 00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,304 There is a lawsuit. 158 00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:22,434 There is maximum-security prison. 159 00:07:22,467 --> 00:07:24,561 And Hilton's smug face. 160 00:07:24,594 --> 00:07:26,062 -I can sleep in prison. 161 00:07:26,096 --> 00:07:28,064 -Why are you like this? 162 00:07:28,098 --> 00:07:31,735 -Lindy. -Is this about the-the scandal? 163 00:07:31,768 --> 00:07:34,404 Because I have a lot of conflicting Lindy information. 164 00:07:34,437 --> 00:07:35,780 -She is conflict. 165 00:07:35,814 --> 00:07:37,490 She's--yeah. I need a-- 166 00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:38,616 I need a minute now. 167 00:07:38,650 --> 00:07:40,410 -Take 20, take 30. 168 00:07:40,443 --> 00:07:42,746 But make it fast. 169 00:07:42,779 --> 00:07:46,750 Because if you can't figure this out, we are dead. 170 00:07:46,783 --> 00:07:50,637 Dead in the holy water. 171 00:08:01,506 --> 00:08:04,225 woman [on recording]: You've elected to try something new. 172 00:08:04,259 --> 00:08:06,311 You've decided to take control 173 00:08:06,344 --> 00:08:08,730 of your anger and rage. 174 00:08:08,763 --> 00:08:11,316 Surprise yourself and those around you 175 00:08:11,349 --> 00:08:14,527 by finding an alternative to lashing out 176 00:08:14,561 --> 00:08:17,030 and emotionally baiting your loved ones. 177 00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,239 By channeling... -What? 178 00:08:18,273 --> 00:08:19,991 woman: ...inner peace 179 00:08:20,025 --> 00:08:23,828 and reconnecting with your better self. 180 00:08:23,862 --> 00:08:25,038 You're in there somewhere-- 181 00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:27,499 [phone ringing] 182 00:08:27,532 --> 00:08:29,084 -[gasps] Oh, yeah. 183 00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:30,543 Oh, yes. Accept. 184 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,754 Hello. Hi. Hi, I thought you hated me. 185 00:08:32,787 --> 00:08:35,173 Terry: I do. Turn on the "Today" show. 186 00:08:35,206 --> 00:08:38,009 -Oh, fuck. Why? What--this fuckin' nightmare. 187 00:08:38,043 --> 00:08:40,095 Terry: This is gonna put both of us in the fucking ground. 188 00:08:40,128 --> 00:08:41,846 -Well, what the fuck now? 189 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,348 Terry: Jackie. -No. 190 00:08:43,381 --> 00:08:44,557 Terry: Jenna. -No! 191 00:08:44,591 --> 00:08:45,517 -I have to go. 192 00:08:45,550 --> 00:08:46,609 Lindy: No, no, no! 193 00:08:47,886 --> 00:08:49,729 -Any idea what she's gonna say? 194 00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,231 -Nope. 195 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:52,615 -Power move. 196 00:08:58,396 --> 00:08:59,497 -[groans] 197 00:09:04,569 --> 00:09:06,004 I know you hate me. 198 00:09:07,072 --> 00:09:08,540 But I hate me more. -Get up. 199 00:09:08,573 --> 00:09:10,041 -Let me die. Steffy: I totally want to, 200 00:09:10,075 --> 00:09:12,419 but the "Today" show. 201 00:09:12,452 --> 00:09:14,629 -What the fuck now? -Jackie. 202 00:09:14,662 --> 00:09:16,714 Jenna: ...author Lindy Littlejohn's career comeback 203 00:09:16,748 --> 00:09:17,816 -Yeah? -Jenna. 204 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:19,300 Jenna: ...and subsequent plagiarism scandal. 205 00:09:19,334 --> 00:09:20,718 Joining us today via satellite 206 00:09:20,752 --> 00:09:22,387 is the student rumored to have written 207 00:09:22,420 --> 00:09:23,888 the short story... -Oh, fuck yeah. 208 00:09:23,922 --> 00:09:25,765 -...Jackie Baldwin. Jackie, welcome. 209 00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:27,308 What a whirlwind. 210 00:09:27,342 --> 00:09:29,978 -Jenna, what an honor to be here. 211 00:09:30,011 --> 00:09:31,729 I mean, I'm such a fan. 212 00:09:31,763 --> 00:09:35,400 I love how you love books as much as I do. 213 00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:37,402 Jenna, let me begin by saying 214 00:09:37,435 --> 00:09:39,454 Professor Littlejohn is my hero. 215 00:09:40,255 --> 00:09:42,907 My Rainbow Starts With Black changed my life. 216 00:09:42,941 --> 00:09:46,995 It's as if she saw into my soul. 217 00:09:47,028 --> 00:09:48,621 Lindy: Yeah. -Well, now, 218 00:09:48,655 --> 00:09:49,831 there are questions about the authenticity 219 00:09:49,864 --> 00:09:50,957 of that novel, too. 220 00:09:50,990 --> 00:09:53,168 -Okay, which is some bullshit! 221 00:09:53,201 --> 00:09:55,128 Please, Jackie, help me. Help me, Jackie. 222 00:09:55,161 --> 00:09:56,463 Please, please, please. Jackie: Professor Littlejohn 223 00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:58,590 is the reason I wanted to become a writer. 224 00:09:58,623 --> 00:10:01,009 She's a paragon of inspiration. 225 00:10:01,042 --> 00:10:03,094 To think that Professor Littlejohn 226 00:10:03,128 --> 00:10:06,815 would be capable of plagiarism is... 227 00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:09,309 is heartbreaking. 228 00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,102 I mean, 229 00:10:11,136 --> 00:10:12,604 being in this position 230 00:10:12,637 --> 00:10:15,940 is my worst nightmare realized. 231 00:10:15,974 --> 00:10:17,442 -Jesus. 232 00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:18,443 She's good. -She's good. 233 00:10:18,476 --> 00:10:19,944 -"Untitled on Purpose" 234 00:10:19,978 --> 00:10:22,197 is a captivating and entertaining read. 235 00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,449 The question everyone is asking is, 236 00:10:24,482 --> 00:10:26,159 who wrote it? 237 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,786 -Professor Littlejohn, if you're watching, 238 00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:30,830 and I sure hope you are, 239 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:34,209 I have no choice but to tell the truth. 240 00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:35,718 -[whimpers] 241 00:10:38,204 --> 00:10:40,507 -Professor Littlejohn is the true author 242 00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:42,217 of "Untitled on Purpose." 243 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,385 -Why? What? Yes! 244 00:10:44,419 --> 00:10:46,346 What? Thank you. [gasps] 245 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:50,892 Jackie: I'm merely a humble graduate student doing... 246 00:10:50,925 --> 00:10:52,519 -Oh, God. -Oh, God. 247 00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:55,855 -Your publisher better have deep fucking pockets. 248 00:10:55,889 --> 00:10:57,732 -Well played, Hel. 249 00:10:57,765 --> 00:10:59,400 Well fucking played. 250 00:10:59,434 --> 00:11:01,402 And nice touch sending her to Montana, too. 251 00:11:01,436 --> 00:11:02,654 Keeps her folksy. 252 00:11:02,687 --> 00:11:03,696 -I am no Professor Littlejohn. 253 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,324 -Teach me everything you know. 254 00:11:06,357 --> 00:11:08,159 -It saddens me that her daughter... 255 00:11:08,193 --> 00:11:09,494 Lulu: She's lying. -...would accuse 256 00:11:09,527 --> 00:11:10,912 her own mother of such a... 257 00:11:10,945 --> 00:11:13,548 -You don't know me, Jackie Baldwin! 258 00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:17,210 I am not lying. 259 00:11:17,243 --> 00:11:20,338 She is lying about the lying. 260 00:11:20,371 --> 00:11:22,715 -Your mom's fans are fuckin' toxic. 261 00:11:22,749 --> 00:11:24,717 -Yeah. Everybody hates me. 262 00:11:24,751 --> 00:11:26,386 Steffy: The chick-lit hashtaggers are strapping 263 00:11:26,419 --> 00:11:27,929 on their heels for battle. 264 00:11:27,962 --> 00:11:30,515 -But they loved me yesterday. 265 00:11:30,548 --> 00:11:32,442 [whimsical music playing] 266 00:11:35,053 --> 00:11:36,946 [music turning ominous] 267 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,359 -Richard, do I have thoughts today? 268 00:11:41,392 --> 00:11:44,529 -Um, Richard's not here. 269 00:11:44,562 --> 00:11:46,247 -Oh, yes, you're right. He's dead. 270 00:11:46,648 --> 00:11:48,366 -Uh, no. 271 00:11:48,399 --> 00:11:50,410 I think he's just in Collinsville. 272 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:52,579 -Is that Shakespearean for heaven? 273 00:11:52,612 --> 00:11:53,705 -It--it's a suburb. 274 00:11:53,738 --> 00:11:55,173 -Oh, lovely. 275 00:11:58,076 --> 00:12:00,920 Bob, explain what I should implement. 276 00:12:00,954 --> 00:12:03,097 -Uh... 277 00:12:04,415 --> 00:12:05,642 -You're not Bob. 278 00:12:06,251 --> 00:12:07,118 -I'm Bob. 279 00:12:07,151 --> 00:12:09,270 -There's something different about you. 280 00:12:09,804 --> 00:12:11,981 -I'm Bob the New Explainer. -Janet? 281 00:12:12,615 --> 00:12:14,642 What's happening? Where's Bob-Bob? 282 00:12:14,676 --> 00:12:16,728 -Bob is not here. 283 00:12:16,761 --> 00:12:18,146 No explanation. 284 00:12:18,179 --> 00:12:21,065 -What's going on? -Um, he seems off. 285 00:12:21,099 --> 00:12:23,785 -Les, come. 286 00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,784 -There's a new Bob. -That's right. 287 00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:33,578 The other Bob spoke to a journalist. 288 00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:35,747 We do not do that. You know the protocol. 289 00:12:35,780 --> 00:12:37,165 Let's reset. 290 00:12:37,198 --> 00:12:38,633 Tell me what you see. 291 00:12:40,868 --> 00:12:44,922 Better yet, tell me what you don't see. 292 00:12:44,956 --> 00:12:47,183 [whimsical music playing] 293 00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:52,480 -Curve. 294 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,025 Follow the curve. 295 00:12:57,302 --> 00:12:58,903 Continue the curve. 296 00:13:10,189 --> 00:13:11,991 -We need a curve. 297 00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:14,661 Uh, I don't know what kind of curve, 298 00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:18,089 but not a straight line, 299 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,675 a curve... 300 00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:24,178 to infinity. 301 00:13:25,046 --> 00:13:27,799 If the corn stabilizes for three minutes, 302 00:13:27,832 --> 00:13:31,352 we'll have reached limitless stabilization. 303 00:13:34,005 --> 00:13:35,773 Janet: And the math? 304 00:13:37,425 --> 00:13:39,027 Dr. Littlejohn? 305 00:13:41,346 --> 00:13:43,648 Well, the equation. 306 00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:46,534 The curve. Um... 307 00:13:53,191 --> 00:13:55,076 Vivienne: We have 24 hours. 308 00:13:55,109 --> 00:13:56,536 You can do this. 309 00:13:56,569 --> 00:13:57,795 You need to sleep. 310 00:13:59,530 --> 00:14:00,998 You're welcome to stay at my place, 311 00:14:01,032 --> 00:14:02,834 in my guestroom. 312 00:14:02,867 --> 00:14:05,553 The mattress is Tempur-Pedic, medium firm. 313 00:14:07,622 --> 00:14:09,507 I'm here for you, Les. 314 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,392 I am wherever you need me to be, 315 00:14:12,126 --> 00:14:16,013 for work or anything 316 00:14:16,047 --> 00:14:18,441 other than work, too. 317 00:14:22,428 --> 00:14:24,655 -I can't. My wife is expecting me. 318 00:14:25,256 --> 00:14:28,242 -I see. I understand. 319 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,578 Then go home. 320 00:14:31,112 --> 00:14:33,614 But do whatever you have to do 321 00:14:33,648 --> 00:14:36,834 to rest and think. 322 00:14:37,235 --> 00:14:39,746 Defend your mental space. 323 00:14:39,779 --> 00:14:42,457 -Defend my mental space. 324 00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,842 -Get creative. 325 00:14:50,331 --> 00:14:53,301 -So, is that it? Is it over? 326 00:14:53,334 --> 00:14:54,844 Terry: You're welcome. 327 00:14:54,877 --> 00:14:57,138 -What happened? -Hell. 328 00:14:57,171 --> 00:15:00,016 I have been through hell. Lindy: You have no idea. 329 00:15:00,049 --> 00:15:01,809 -No, you have no idea. 330 00:15:01,843 --> 00:15:04,103 -So my Pulitzer? 331 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,488 Terry: You get to keep it. 332 00:15:06,556 --> 00:15:08,441 -And my editor? 333 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,692 Terry: Still on the roster. 334 00:15:09,725 --> 00:15:10,993 -[sighs] 335 00:15:12,895 --> 00:15:14,664 And my best friend? 336 00:15:17,817 --> 00:15:20,036 -Waitlisted-ish. 337 00:15:20,069 --> 00:15:23,039 Lindy: Fair. I deserve an -ish. 338 00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,124 I'm just relieved not to be dropped. 339 00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,294 So everybody wins, right? 340 00:15:28,327 --> 00:15:32,715 You, me, Jackie Baldwin, I'm assuming? 341 00:15:32,748 --> 00:15:34,342 Terry: Raked over the money coals, yes, 342 00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:36,385 but worth it, I think. 343 00:15:36,419 --> 00:15:37,720 -Oh, you're welcome. 344 00:15:37,753 --> 00:15:40,807 Terry: Too soon. -Fair. Fair. Yes. 345 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,686 -Um, listen, there is one casualty. 346 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:47,730 Someone's gotta take the fall. 347 00:15:47,763 --> 00:15:49,866 -Oh, fuck. 348 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,152 Lulu. 349 00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:55,196 Terry: 350 00:15:55,229 --> 00:15:58,866 -[sighs] Is it bad-bad? 351 00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:01,494 Terry: She's tough, and it's the internet, 352 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:05,590 so tomorrow it'll be someone else's something else. 353 00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:09,168 -Jackie's on, and not the folksy one. 354 00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,337 -I gotta run. Congrats, I think. 355 00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:13,306 -Thank-- [disconnected tone] 356 00:16:16,292 --> 00:16:17,727 -[sighs] 357 00:16:21,547 --> 00:16:23,891 Jesus. 358 00:16:23,925 --> 00:16:26,944 [dramatic music playing] 359 00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,492 -[sighs] 360 00:16:37,063 --> 00:16:38,122 [exhales] 361 00:16:43,110 --> 00:16:46,255 [phone trilling] 362 00:16:47,089 --> 00:16:48,875 Lulu [on recording]: You're old. Text me. 363 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,376 -Of course. 364 00:16:50,409 --> 00:16:52,420 [dramatic music playing] 365 00:16:52,453 --> 00:16:54,096 [groans] 366 00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,524 [phone dings, buzzes] 367 00:17:09,178 --> 00:17:10,396 -It's your mom. 368 00:17:10,429 --> 00:17:11,898 She says, "Lulu, please come home." 369 00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,399 Lulu: Delete it. Steffy: No. 370 00:17:13,432 --> 00:17:14,734 Lulu: Yes! 371 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,236 Steffy: No! You should go home. 372 00:17:17,270 --> 00:17:19,121 Talk to her. 373 00:17:20,439 --> 00:17:23,075 -She had her student lie 374 00:17:23,109 --> 00:17:25,411 so that I could be crushed on social media 375 00:17:25,444 --> 00:17:27,747 and she can keep her precious fucking award. 376 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,248 That is all she cares about. 377 00:17:29,282 --> 00:17:30,458 -You don't know she actually did that. 378 00:17:30,491 --> 00:17:31,751 -I have proof 379 00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,252 that she stole that story. 380 00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,921 I will not let her get away with this. 381 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:35,922 -What are you gonna do? 382 00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,298 Make another TikTok? 383 00:17:37,331 --> 00:17:38,591 -Maybe I should. 384 00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,009 Or go on the "Today" show. 385 00:17:40,042 --> 00:17:41,510 -You're just looking for more drama. 386 00:17:41,544 --> 00:17:43,095 You're like a drama junkie. 387 00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,231 -So is she. -Finally! 388 00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,643 Now you see my point? 389 00:17:48,676 --> 00:17:50,311 She reached out. 390 00:17:50,344 --> 00:17:52,980 She wants to see you. 391 00:17:53,014 --> 00:17:55,608 She is breaking a pattern and so should you. 392 00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,660 -[sighs] 393 00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:07,670 -And we will be talking about Shirtless Mike later. 394 00:18:12,742 --> 00:18:15,461 -You fellows have traveled a great distance 395 00:18:15,494 --> 00:18:18,130 following a northern star, gifts in hand, 396 00:18:18,164 --> 00:18:20,800 and your faith was rewarded, right? 397 00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:25,554 And in my own way, I have traveled a great distance 398 00:18:25,588 --> 00:18:27,640 following my heart's North Star, 399 00:18:27,673 --> 00:18:30,142 only to be rejected, and tortured, 400 00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:32,645 and traumatized that I'm losing my faith. 401 00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:35,690 [crying] I'm... 402 00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:39,201 I'm losing my faith, in faith. 403 00:18:40,936 --> 00:18:44,240 I'm in dire need of some kind of sign. 404 00:18:44,273 --> 00:18:48,160 A reason, a purpose, a direction, a-- 405 00:18:48,194 --> 00:18:51,255 [phone ringing] 406 00:18:56,077 --> 00:18:57,470 [chuckles] 407 00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,176 -Your existence is complicated, 408 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:06,262 but I thank you anyway. 409 00:19:06,295 --> 00:19:07,730 [sniffles, clears throat] 410 00:19:09,423 --> 00:19:11,517 Well, you've restored my faith. 411 00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:12,568 -In what? 412 00:19:13,552 --> 00:19:15,104 -In life. 413 00:19:15,137 --> 00:19:17,440 Hi. -Hi. 414 00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:19,859 I-I know you're on a mini signed sabbatical 415 00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,944 caring for a loved one right now, 416 00:19:21,977 --> 00:19:24,530 and I hate to bother you, but... 417 00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,700 Richard: Janet, you are never a bother. 418 00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:29,952 -Well, um, I'm glad. 419 00:19:29,985 --> 00:19:31,287 Richard: What's going on? 420 00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,041 -Um, Les is not good. 421 00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,710 -Oh, I know. -You know? 422 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:41,380 -I--well, you know, we work together so closely 423 00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,965 that it's like a twin-flame thing. 424 00:19:42,998 --> 00:19:48,304 I--I can feel it, even if I can't see it in... in person. 425 00:19:48,337 --> 00:19:52,058 -Uh, thing is, we need him good, 426 00:19:52,091 --> 00:19:54,268 like great. 427 00:19:54,301 --> 00:19:57,313 He's too exhausted to string a coherent sentence together 428 00:19:57,346 --> 00:19:59,774 and the investor presentation is tomorrow. 429 00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:02,902 -Wait. Tomorrow? 430 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,487 Janet: Yeah, Hilton's whim. 431 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:07,281 -Oh. So, how can I be helpful? 432 00:20:07,314 --> 00:20:09,909 Janet: Uh, I wish you could talk to him. 433 00:20:09,942 --> 00:20:11,577 Get him back on track. 434 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,079 I mean, he thinks 435 00:20:13,112 --> 00:20:16,999 you're in, like, heaven? 436 00:20:17,032 --> 00:20:19,135 -I'm nearby. 437 00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,339 man [over PA]: Johnny, we need the forklift. 438 00:20:23,372 --> 00:20:26,350 Johnny, bring back the forklift. 439 00:20:27,168 --> 00:20:29,261 ♪ Down in Jamaica ♪ 440 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:31,806 ♪ They got lots ♪ ♪ Of pretty women ♪ 441 00:20:31,839 --> 00:20:33,682 ♪ Steal your money ♪ 442 00:20:33,716 --> 00:20:35,518 ♪ Then they break ♪ ♪ Your heart ♪ 443 00:20:35,551 --> 00:20:37,478 ♪ Lonesome Sue ♪ 444 00:20:37,511 --> 00:20:40,773 ♪ She's in love ♪ ♪ With old Sam ♪ 445 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,109 ♪ Take him from the fire ♪ ♪ Into the frying pan ♪ 446 00:20:43,142 --> 00:20:44,410 -Great choice. [chuckles] 447 00:20:45,227 --> 00:20:46,779 It's my favorite. 448 00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:48,998 -Would it get through a bedroom door easily? 449 00:20:50,483 --> 00:20:52,284 -Like a hot knife through butter. 450 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,286 -[chuckles] Yes, please. 451 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,621 ♪ ...when she feels ♪ ♪ Like crying ♪ 452 00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,873 -Question, um, Chuck, 453 00:20:57,907 --> 00:21:01,127 if you had a very clever, determined, 454 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,171 angry mouse that was keeping you up all night, 455 00:21:04,205 --> 00:21:06,298 driving you fucking insane... -I hate mice. 456 00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:08,676 -...what would you use to slow her down? 457 00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:09,969 Chuck: Let me ask you this. 458 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,637 Are you lookin' for somethin' 459 00:21:11,670 --> 00:21:15,107 humane or inhumane? 460 00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:20,980 Let me show you both options. -Yes, please. 461 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,907 ♪ And starts to cry ♪ 462 00:21:25,559 --> 00:21:28,863 -I'll wait to hear from you with, um, bells on. 463 00:21:28,896 --> 00:21:30,122 -Fare thee well. 464 00:21:31,273 --> 00:21:32,625 [call disconnects] 465 00:21:34,068 --> 00:21:35,294 -[gasps] 466 00:21:35,778 --> 00:21:36,871 Oh. 467 00:21:36,904 --> 00:21:40,249 Um... um... 468 00:21:40,282 --> 00:21:42,376 I was on a personal call. 469 00:21:42,409 --> 00:21:44,920 I apologize. I cannot lie. 470 00:21:44,954 --> 00:21:46,380 -Why do you look like that? 471 00:21:46,413 --> 00:21:48,265 -Nervous? -Glowing. 472 00:21:48,999 --> 00:21:51,051 When you hung up with whoever you were speaking to, 473 00:21:51,085 --> 00:21:53,637 you smiled and glowed. 474 00:21:53,671 --> 00:21:55,973 -Am I in trouble? -Not yet. 475 00:21:56,006 --> 00:21:57,474 I'm curious. 476 00:21:57,508 --> 00:22:01,478 -I was talking to, um, someone special. 477 00:22:01,512 --> 00:22:03,230 -You're in a relationship? 478 00:22:03,264 --> 00:22:05,783 -No, no, no. The someone special already... 479 00:22:06,767 --> 00:22:08,786 has a someone special. 480 00:22:10,104 --> 00:22:12,281 Am I fired? -Isn't it anti-feminist 481 00:22:12,314 --> 00:22:13,490 to be considered the other woman? 482 00:22:13,524 --> 00:22:14,658 -I'm sorry? 483 00:22:14,692 --> 00:22:15,910 Vivienne: Your Instagram account. 484 00:22:15,943 --> 00:22:19,288 "Janet Colgate, physicist, 485 00:22:19,321 --> 00:22:22,124 feminist, celiac." 486 00:22:22,157 --> 00:22:24,752 -You're on Instagram? Vivienne: In a way. I lurk. 487 00:22:24,785 --> 00:22:27,846 I research...everyone. 488 00:22:28,330 --> 00:22:29,390 Janet... 489 00:22:32,293 --> 00:22:33,761 you're the other woman? 490 00:22:33,794 --> 00:22:37,565 -Oh, I-I don't think I have that status yet. 491 00:22:38,507 --> 00:22:40,150 -Same. Hmm. 492 00:22:44,305 --> 00:22:46,574 -Mom, I'm here. Let's talk. 493 00:22:48,726 --> 00:22:49,560 Mom? 494 00:22:49,593 --> 00:22:51,078 Lindy [on megaphone]: I'm in here. 495 00:22:52,479 --> 00:22:55,165 Lulu: Where? Lindy: In the kitchen. 496 00:22:57,860 --> 00:22:59,587 -Mom, where? 497 00:23:00,054 --> 00:23:01,455 Lindy: On the island. 498 00:23:01,488 --> 00:23:02,756 -The what? 499 00:23:04,074 --> 00:23:05,626 Okay, this is fucking stupid. 500 00:23:05,659 --> 00:23:07,928 Lindy: By the salt and pepper! 501 00:23:16,587 --> 00:23:21,141 It's me. Uh, I'm tiny and I know it's a shock. 502 00:23:21,175 --> 00:23:22,685 Just try not to-- -You're tiny?! 503 00:23:22,718 --> 00:23:24,111 -[Lindy groans] 504 00:23:25,846 --> 00:23:26,981 ...scream. Okay. 505 00:23:27,014 --> 00:23:28,482 But before we continue, 506 00:23:28,515 --> 00:23:31,568 let's crash course in volume control. 507 00:23:31,602 --> 00:23:33,654 You're gonna lean into a whisper. 508 00:23:33,687 --> 00:23:35,322 I'll lean into a shout. 509 00:23:35,356 --> 00:23:36,490 We'll meet in the middle. 510 00:23:36,523 --> 00:23:38,125 -Are you real? 511 00:23:40,194 --> 00:23:42,746 -Yeah. Uh, I am real. 512 00:23:42,780 --> 00:23:44,048 -Holy fuck. 513 00:23:45,032 --> 00:23:46,383 Holy fuck. Dad did this. 514 00:23:47,201 --> 00:23:50,137 The dollhouse? The crying? 515 00:23:50,604 --> 00:23:52,256 The "Today" show? 516 00:23:52,289 --> 00:23:56,093 Grandma?! -Ah-ah-ah-ah-ahh. Quieter. 517 00:23:56,126 --> 00:23:57,311 -Sorry. 518 00:23:57,544 --> 00:23:58,729 Lindy: It's okay. 519 00:24:01,423 --> 00:24:03,942 -How did this happen? 520 00:24:04,743 --> 00:24:08,188 -It was an accident. An accident. 521 00:24:08,222 --> 00:24:12,109 Your dad and I are working through some issues. 522 00:24:12,142 --> 00:24:15,529 You know, uh--I am working through some issues. 523 00:24:15,562 --> 00:24:17,531 It's why I reached out. 524 00:24:17,564 --> 00:24:18,749 Lulu, uh... 525 00:24:20,651 --> 00:24:24,204 God, those comments online just broke my heart. 526 00:24:24,238 --> 00:24:27,750 You don't deserve--it's-- it's--I'm--oh, God. 527 00:24:27,783 --> 00:24:28,876 I fucked up. 528 00:24:28,909 --> 00:24:30,803 -[sobs] 529 00:24:31,737 --> 00:24:34,465 -Why are you crying? Lulu: I don't know. 530 00:24:34,498 --> 00:24:39,636 I don't know, because I'm so fucking mad at you. 531 00:24:39,670 --> 00:24:41,271 I hated you. 532 00:24:42,072 --> 00:24:44,191 You lied. That Jackie Baldwin bitch lied. 533 00:24:44,525 --> 00:24:46,393 -Okay. Okay. Lulu: I'm sorry. 534 00:24:46,427 --> 00:24:49,313 I don't know how to whisper-cry and I can't even fucking yell. 535 00:24:49,346 --> 00:24:51,398 Lindy: No. It's okay. You should yell. 536 00:24:51,432 --> 00:24:53,317 You should be mad. 537 00:24:53,350 --> 00:24:54,902 -Don't tell me that I should be mad 538 00:24:54,935 --> 00:24:56,236 when I should be mad. 539 00:24:56,270 --> 00:24:58,288 And now, I can't be mad... 540 00:25:00,441 --> 00:25:04,336 because you're just, you're so small... 541 00:25:05,654 --> 00:25:07,381 and I feel so bad. 542 00:25:09,616 --> 00:25:10,968 -Come here. 543 00:25:14,288 --> 00:25:15,305 Come. 544 00:25:17,791 --> 00:25:18,809 Closer. 545 00:25:20,169 --> 00:25:21,311 Closer. 546 00:25:24,131 --> 00:25:25,566 -Don't look up my nose. 547 00:25:27,551 --> 00:25:29,311 -I won't. 548 00:25:29,344 --> 00:25:30,821 -This is so weird. 549 00:25:36,351 --> 00:25:37,494 -I know. 550 00:25:39,146 --> 00:25:40,831 Our family's weird now. 551 00:25:45,527 --> 00:25:50,082 -So, um... are you okay? 552 00:25:50,115 --> 00:25:54,169 -Well, I'm branded dog shit, but I'm okay. 553 00:25:54,203 --> 00:25:56,505 -This is all my fault. 554 00:25:56,538 --> 00:25:58,841 I'm not a great mom. 555 00:25:58,874 --> 00:26:00,884 I-I-I want to be. 556 00:26:00,918 --> 00:26:04,229 I... I need to try harder. I-I can start right now. 557 00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:06,014 Where to start? Okay. 558 00:26:06,048 --> 00:26:08,517 Um, I wrote a book. 559 00:26:08,550 --> 00:26:11,520 -Whoa. We're going back 20 years? 560 00:26:11,553 --> 00:26:12,855 How long is this story? 561 00:26:12,888 --> 00:26:15,574 -Short and with a point. -We'll see. 562 00:26:16,108 --> 00:26:18,694 -I wrote a book. I got rewarded. 563 00:26:18,727 --> 00:26:22,197 I felt like a fraud. I mean, it was my first book. 564 00:26:22,231 --> 00:26:23,866 But then I had this prize. 565 00:26:23,899 --> 00:26:27,119 And that basically became my identity. 566 00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:29,246 -So, bullshit on bullshit? 567 00:26:29,279 --> 00:26:31,081 -Bullshit on bullshit. [clears throat] 568 00:26:31,115 --> 00:26:35,302 And, uh--well, then, then you came along. 569 00:26:35,736 --> 00:26:40,048 And I could focus on you, not me. 570 00:26:40,082 --> 00:26:42,092 So, bullshit me, 571 00:26:42,126 --> 00:26:46,939 she kinda got left behind, which I loved. 572 00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:51,226 And then you grew up and we grew apart. 573 00:26:51,260 --> 00:26:54,655 And bullshit me kinda showed back up. 574 00:26:56,306 --> 00:27:00,235 I think I resented you resenting me. 575 00:27:00,269 --> 00:27:02,988 But that is not being a good parent. 576 00:27:03,021 --> 00:27:05,908 That is being-- -A petulant child. 577 00:27:05,941 --> 00:27:08,994 Lindy: Yeah. Heh. You were hurting. 578 00:27:09,027 --> 00:27:13,215 I didn't know why, but I should have asked. 579 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:16,635 I should have listened. 580 00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:19,221 [tender music playing] 581 00:27:20,088 --> 00:27:25,928 -Okay. Well, a few edits maybe, but your story did have a point. 582 00:27:25,961 --> 00:27:28,639 -So, [clears throat] I'm listening now 583 00:27:28,672 --> 00:27:30,599 and I have really good hearing. 584 00:27:30,632 --> 00:27:32,568 It's a benefit of being this tiny. 585 00:27:36,013 --> 00:27:38,357 -I hate science. -You do? 586 00:27:38,390 --> 00:27:40,317 -Dad's gonna lose his fucking brain. 587 00:27:40,350 --> 00:27:41,944 Lindy: Oh. I mean... 588 00:27:41,977 --> 00:27:43,162 -I flunked out of school. 589 00:27:43,495 --> 00:27:45,697 So, go ahead, freak out. 590 00:27:45,731 --> 00:27:48,283 -You did? -Yeah, by design. 591 00:27:48,317 --> 00:27:50,210 -Uh, I mean--okay. How? 592 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:53,038 -It was harder than I expected. 593 00:27:53,071 --> 00:27:54,506 -[laughs] I bet. 594 00:27:55,824 --> 00:27:58,043 I misappropriated my student's story 595 00:27:58,076 --> 00:27:59,511 and didn't correct it. 596 00:28:00,612 --> 00:28:03,891 -I dropped a TikTok outing my mom as a plagiarist. 597 00:28:05,876 --> 00:28:07,886 -I burned down your dollhouse. 598 00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:09,638 -What? Lindy: Yeah. 599 00:28:09,671 --> 00:28:11,974 It felt great. 600 00:28:12,007 --> 00:28:13,567 -I deleted "Darling Daughter." 601 00:28:15,177 --> 00:28:17,479 -Wait, that was you? -Yeah. I was 11. 602 00:28:17,512 --> 00:28:19,698 You should really change your password. 603 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:22,743 -Wait. 604 00:28:26,355 --> 00:28:27,539 Oh, my God. 605 00:28:30,067 --> 00:28:33,203 You read that. Lulu: Yeah. It--it's okay. 606 00:28:33,237 --> 00:28:35,088 I know you didn't want me. I get it. 607 00:28:37,032 --> 00:28:43,171 -Lulu, I was channeling Grandma Diane, my mom, 608 00:28:43,205 --> 00:28:44,890 thinking about me. 609 00:28:46,750 --> 00:28:48,218 -Really? Lindy: Of course. 610 00:28:48,252 --> 00:28:52,105 Oh, my God, I've never regretted having you. 611 00:28:53,382 --> 00:28:54,516 -But the resentment... 612 00:28:54,549 --> 00:28:56,560 -No. That was later and different. 613 00:28:56,593 --> 00:28:58,070 God, no. 614 00:29:00,138 --> 00:29:01,782 -Makes sense. 615 00:29:02,891 --> 00:29:04,192 -Does it? 616 00:29:04,226 --> 00:29:06,495 -Yeah, actually. I read your book. 617 00:29:07,296 --> 00:29:10,365 I can definitely see the Grandma Diane connection. 618 00:29:10,399 --> 00:29:13,335 -God, it breaks my heart that you thought I didn't... 619 00:29:16,113 --> 00:29:18,757 That you grew up thinking that I didn't want you? 620 00:29:19,950 --> 00:29:23,045 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 621 00:29:23,078 --> 00:29:24,880 Oh, sweet girl. 622 00:29:24,913 --> 00:29:28,258 I'm so sorry. I suck. 623 00:29:28,292 --> 00:29:31,637 Oh, I suck. I fucking suck. 624 00:29:31,670 --> 00:29:32,971 -I suck too. 625 00:29:33,005 --> 00:29:35,440 -That's also my fault, and Dad's. 626 00:29:36,508 --> 00:29:39,152 -We all suck. -Which sucks. 627 00:29:46,601 --> 00:29:47,953 You read my book. 628 00:29:49,938 --> 00:29:51,623 Lulu: You want me to tell you it's good? 629 00:29:53,025 --> 00:29:55,293 -No. -It's okay. 630 00:29:56,653 --> 00:29:58,163 -I'll take it. 631 00:29:58,196 --> 00:30:00,841 -So, do you have to tell Dad I flunked out, 632 00:30:01,274 --> 00:30:06,088 like a UFP or United Family whatever-it-is? 633 00:30:06,121 --> 00:30:08,423 -UPF, United Parental Front. 634 00:30:08,457 --> 00:30:10,142 No, fuck it. 635 00:30:11,126 --> 00:30:14,146 [tense music playing] 636 00:30:22,054 --> 00:30:24,439 -I have to go in front of the review board tomorrow 637 00:30:24,473 --> 00:30:26,650 and, like, make a case or whatever. 638 00:30:26,683 --> 00:30:29,945 Tell them why they shouldn't kick me out of school. 639 00:30:29,978 --> 00:30:32,197 -What are you gonna say? 640 00:30:32,230 --> 00:30:34,282 We could... [clears throat] We could practice it. 641 00:30:34,316 --> 00:30:37,669 -No. Don't get all mom about it. 642 00:30:39,321 --> 00:30:40,505 -Okay. 643 00:30:44,201 --> 00:30:46,553 -Hey, Lulu. What's going on? 644 00:30:48,163 --> 00:30:49,347 -Dad. 645 00:30:55,504 --> 00:30:56,722 -I can explain. 646 00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:59,141 -Les, don't worry. 647 00:30:59,174 --> 00:31:00,609 I already explained. 648 00:31:02,052 --> 00:31:04,029 -What did she tell you? -A lot. 649 00:31:05,347 --> 00:31:07,699 -She's a liar. -You're the liar, Dad. 650 00:31:08,366 --> 00:31:11,236 -Uh, what? -The dollhouse? 651 00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:14,197 Grandma? Mom left us? 652 00:31:14,231 --> 00:31:16,908 You let me think she was having an emotional breakdown. 653 00:31:16,942 --> 00:31:18,577 -No. Lulu: What the fuck? 654 00:31:18,610 --> 00:31:21,421 -No, no, no. Lulu-- -You've never lied to me before. 655 00:31:23,698 --> 00:31:26,168 -What did you tell her? Lindy: Whatever I want. 656 00:31:26,201 --> 00:31:28,378 I'm her mother, she needed me. -Since when? 657 00:31:28,412 --> 00:31:31,006 You-you-you-you had no right to talk to her. 658 00:31:31,039 --> 00:31:32,424 Lulu: Dad... Les: No. No, no, no. 659 00:31:32,457 --> 00:31:33,925 -Dad... Les: We discussed this. 660 00:31:33,959 --> 00:31:35,844 UPF. UPF. 661 00:31:35,877 --> 00:31:37,679 We-we said that telling you would traumatize you 662 00:31:37,712 --> 00:31:39,347 and we were gonna tell you together. 663 00:31:39,381 --> 00:31:41,391 That's the U in UPF! 664 00:31:41,425 --> 00:31:43,852 -Well, someone had to be the P! 665 00:31:43,885 --> 00:31:46,563 -Well, here's the F. Fuck you. Lindy: Fuck you! 666 00:31:46,596 --> 00:31:48,565 Fuck you! Fuck you! 667 00:31:48,598 --> 00:31:49,941 -Fuck you! Lindy: Fuck you! 668 00:31:49,975 --> 00:31:51,159 -Why? 669 00:31:53,145 --> 00:31:55,414 [Les and Lindy groan] [door closes] 670 00:31:55,981 --> 00:31:58,742 Lindy: Shit. -[Lulu retching] 671 00:31:58,775 --> 00:32:00,669 We are horrible. 672 00:32:01,611 --> 00:32:02,954 -The worst. -[Lulu coughing] 673 00:32:02,988 --> 00:32:05,749 -Makes me sick to make her sick. 674 00:32:05,782 --> 00:32:07,751 -Yeah, me too. 675 00:32:07,784 --> 00:32:09,970 Lindy: We need to get our shit together. 676 00:32:10,662 --> 00:32:12,464 Jesus. 677 00:32:12,497 --> 00:32:13,598 Look at us. 678 00:32:14,291 --> 00:32:15,308 Look at me. 679 00:32:15,917 --> 00:32:18,053 -I know, I know. 680 00:32:18,086 --> 00:32:19,354 Okay, okay. 681 00:32:25,343 --> 00:32:27,771 [Lulu retching] Lindy: I'm so sorry, Lulu. 682 00:32:27,804 --> 00:32:29,940 This is us. Not you. 683 00:32:29,973 --> 00:32:32,275 -It's never you. Never you. 684 00:32:32,309 --> 00:32:33,869 Lulu: I think I'm empty. 685 00:32:36,646 --> 00:32:38,498 [toilet flushing] 686 00:32:41,401 --> 00:32:43,170 -This is so fucked. 687 00:32:43,987 --> 00:32:45,505 Our family is fucked. 688 00:32:48,408 --> 00:32:49,926 You're standing on the sink. 689 00:32:50,827 --> 00:32:52,003 -Yeah. [chuckles] 690 00:32:52,037 --> 00:32:55,507 But, uh, this is our new reality. 691 00:32:55,540 --> 00:32:59,052 We're a fucked-up family like everybody else, you know? 692 00:32:59,085 --> 00:33:00,887 Sort of. -Until we're not. 693 00:33:00,921 --> 00:33:02,389 I can fix this. 694 00:33:02,422 --> 00:33:03,690 Lulu: Can you, Dad? 695 00:33:05,550 --> 00:33:07,018 Les: Yes. 696 00:33:07,052 --> 00:33:08,278 Don't you believe me? 697 00:33:12,390 --> 00:33:14,150 -I believe you. You know? 698 00:33:14,184 --> 00:33:15,819 And you're, you're brilliant. 699 00:33:15,852 --> 00:33:19,656 Frustratingly so. I've always believed in you. 700 00:33:19,689 --> 00:33:20,874 Always. 701 00:33:23,401 --> 00:33:25,912 -Okay. So, like, what do we do now? 702 00:33:25,946 --> 00:33:27,214 -We live. 703 00:33:27,747 --> 00:33:30,759 Uh, Dad and I are gonna work things out, 704 00:33:31,393 --> 00:33:34,254 you're gonna go back to school tonight, 705 00:33:34,287 --> 00:33:36,506 and, um, then we'll all go skiing 706 00:33:36,540 --> 00:33:38,675 over President's Day weekend or something. 707 00:33:38,708 --> 00:33:41,177 I don't know. But we're gonna be okay. 708 00:33:41,211 --> 00:33:43,263 We're going to be okay. 709 00:33:43,296 --> 00:33:46,850 Right? -Yes. Absolutely. 710 00:33:46,883 --> 00:33:48,068 Yes. 711 00:33:52,222 --> 00:33:55,525 -Is it bad that I kinda wanna see Mom on tiny skis? 712 00:33:55,559 --> 00:33:56,743 -[laughs] 713 00:34:01,147 --> 00:34:03,917 -Hey. You know I love you, kiddo. 714 00:34:06,152 --> 00:34:07,504 -Yeah, I know. 715 00:34:12,951 --> 00:34:14,761 [Lindy sighs] 716 00:34:18,623 --> 00:34:20,884 -She didn't tell me that she loved me back. 717 00:34:20,917 --> 00:34:22,936 Lindy: Uh, I think she did. -She did not. 718 00:34:23,470 --> 00:34:25,096 You know she did not. -Okay. 719 00:34:25,130 --> 00:34:27,098 This is a lot for her to process. 720 00:34:27,132 --> 00:34:28,942 -I've lost her love. 721 00:34:30,635 --> 00:34:32,395 -Okay, now you're being dramatic. 722 00:34:32,429 --> 00:34:33,613 -Dramatic? 723 00:34:35,932 --> 00:34:38,985 She fucking adored me and now she can barely look at me. 724 00:34:39,019 --> 00:34:41,738 -Yeah. It stings. But-- -No, no, no. It's fine. 725 00:34:41,771 --> 00:34:43,782 It's-it's okay. I-I understand. I know. 726 00:34:43,815 --> 00:34:45,408 I know that you love this. 727 00:34:45,442 --> 00:34:47,243 You love it. -Love what? 728 00:34:47,277 --> 00:34:51,456 -You want me to be Hurricane Les, don't you? 729 00:34:51,489 --> 00:34:53,625 Well, bravo. 730 00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:56,753 -This is your fucking guilt talking. 731 00:34:56,786 --> 00:35:00,340 That's what this is. -You just--you took my daughter 732 00:35:00,373 --> 00:35:01,925 away from me. 733 00:35:01,958 --> 00:35:04,094 -Your daughter? -Yeah. That was your plan. 734 00:35:04,127 --> 00:35:06,680 -This was my plan? -I was her hero, 735 00:35:06,713 --> 00:35:09,015 and now she thinks I'm a fuckin' liar. 736 00:35:09,049 --> 00:35:11,351 -I told her it was an accident. 737 00:35:11,384 --> 00:35:13,186 You want me to play her the voice note, huh? 738 00:35:13,219 --> 00:35:16,990 -Oh, I'm sure you painted a very pretty picture of yours-- 739 00:35:17,324 --> 00:35:18,775 Did you tell her about Richard? 740 00:35:18,808 --> 00:35:20,652 -Did you tell her about Richard? 741 00:35:20,685 --> 00:35:23,154 -His blood is on your hands, Lindy. 742 00:35:23,188 --> 00:35:26,616 Lindy: Really? My tiny, innocent, 743 00:35:26,650 --> 00:35:28,335 shrunken-on-purpose hands? 744 00:35:28,935 --> 00:35:32,706 Maybe you deserve to be her mad-scientist 745 00:35:32,739 --> 00:35:34,791 shithead dad who shrunk her mom. 746 00:35:34,824 --> 00:35:36,626 Every dad disappoints eventually. 747 00:35:36,660 --> 00:35:39,337 It's finally your fucking turn. 748 00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:41,598 [tense music playing] 749 00:35:45,502 --> 00:35:47,228 -You ruined Lulu 750 00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:50,357 and you make me sick. 751 00:35:53,176 --> 00:35:56,062 -[gasps] What the fuck are you doing? 752 00:35:56,096 --> 00:35:59,524 No! [gasping] 753 00:35:59,557 --> 00:36:02,819 -It would be so easy just to let go. 754 00:36:02,852 --> 00:36:04,988 -I've seen your balls, Les. 755 00:36:05,021 --> 00:36:07,707 They aren't big enough. -Oh, it's been a while. 756 00:36:11,027 --> 00:36:12,662 [toilet flushing] 757 00:36:12,696 --> 00:36:15,165 -Maybe you've forgotten how big they are. 758 00:36:15,198 --> 00:36:16,383 -Put me down! 759 00:36:17,534 --> 00:36:19,085 -Okay. 760 00:36:19,119 --> 00:36:20,887 -[yelps] 761 00:36:22,288 --> 00:36:23,932 [Lindy gasping] 762 00:36:25,917 --> 00:36:27,227 You motherfucker! 763 00:36:29,254 --> 00:36:30,346 You're dead. 764 00:36:30,380 --> 00:36:32,232 -Sure. Why not? 765 00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:37,737 [Lindy grunting] 766 00:36:39,889 --> 00:36:41,574 Fuck. What the fuck? 767 00:37:02,078 --> 00:37:05,098 [dramatic music playing] 768 00:37:06,416 --> 00:37:08,810 [car driving away] 769 00:37:34,444 --> 00:37:36,796 -You were a good and loyal friend. 770 00:37:39,115 --> 00:37:40,800 I'm gonna miss you, Dolores, 771 00:37:42,619 --> 00:37:44,387 and I'm sorry it ended this way. 772 00:37:46,998 --> 00:37:49,350 Richard [on megaphone]: I'm sorry too, Dolores. 773 00:37:53,129 --> 00:37:56,432 Your eyes do not deceive you, I am not a ghost. 774 00:37:56,466 --> 00:37:58,935 I am very much alive. 775 00:37:58,968 --> 00:38:00,862 -[gasps] Richard! 776 00:38:01,846 --> 00:38:03,940 I'm so relieved! 777 00:38:03,973 --> 00:38:07,660 -You are no more a murderer than I am an adulterer. 778 00:38:08,228 --> 00:38:11,781 I was hoodwinked into an uncompromising position, 779 00:38:11,815 --> 00:38:14,876 but I wanna put your mind at ease. 780 00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:17,954 Nothing happened below the belt. 781 00:38:17,987 --> 00:38:19,923 -Well, the belt was off, Richard. 782 00:38:20,390 --> 00:38:22,675 -All part of the charade. 783 00:38:24,994 --> 00:38:26,462 -I never meant to hurt you. 784 00:38:26,496 --> 00:38:27,555 Richard: Yes, you did. 785 00:38:28,089 --> 00:38:31,509 However, I know you never meant to vanquish me, 786 00:38:31,543 --> 00:38:33,269 which you did not. 787 00:38:35,171 --> 00:38:36,723 -Call it even? 788 00:38:36,756 --> 00:38:38,107 Richard: Even Steven. 789 00:38:40,718 --> 00:38:43,146 [whimsical music playing] 790 00:38:43,179 --> 00:38:45,523 I have a science thought, if I may be so bold. 791 00:38:45,557 --> 00:38:47,150 -Please. 792 00:38:47,183 --> 00:38:50,904 -So, given my recent firsthand experiences, 793 00:38:50,937 --> 00:38:53,581 I've been thinking about the quantum harmonic oscillator. 794 00:38:53,948 --> 00:38:57,535 What if its potential energy is akin to the mass on a spring? 795 00:38:57,569 --> 00:39:01,039 -As in, uh, V of X equals one-half KX square? 796 00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:02,540 -Where K is the spring constant 797 00:39:02,574 --> 00:39:04,717 and X is the displacement. 798 00:39:05,451 --> 00:39:09,055 -I mean, that's a--that's-- that's a parabolic curve. 799 00:39:10,206 --> 00:39:11,257 [chuckles] 800 00:39:11,291 --> 00:39:12,759 I mean, that could work. 801 00:39:12,792 --> 00:39:14,644 -[laughs] 802 00:39:15,311 --> 00:39:17,680 I've missed this. -Me too. 803 00:39:17,714 --> 00:39:20,016 I will say Janet's been good, very good. 804 00:39:20,049 --> 00:39:23,603 Um, but I have--I've missed, uh, I've missed the, uh... 805 00:39:23,636 --> 00:39:25,730 -You don't need to say it. I know. 806 00:39:25,763 --> 00:39:28,157 -Richard, I--you--missed you. 807 00:39:29,559 --> 00:39:31,578 -I do owe you an apology. 808 00:39:32,937 --> 00:39:35,290 I was a fool for love. 809 00:39:37,567 --> 00:39:39,085 I keep wondering... 810 00:39:40,445 --> 00:39:44,874 was I driven by love or the tragedy of love? 811 00:39:44,908 --> 00:39:48,253 -You know, I can't believe you miniaturized yourself for her. 812 00:39:48,286 --> 00:39:49,879 -Oh, you would have done the same 813 00:39:49,913 --> 00:39:52,348 if you weren't needed to solve the formula. 814 00:39:54,083 --> 00:39:56,477 -Oh, no, Richard. Never crossed my mind. 815 00:39:57,587 --> 00:39:59,272 No, we've reached a new low. 816 00:40:00,924 --> 00:40:02,275 -May I ask why? 817 00:40:04,761 --> 00:40:06,446 -Because I know her. 818 00:40:07,472 --> 00:40:10,533 I really fucking know her. 819 00:40:11,601 --> 00:40:12,702 Not worth it. 820 00:40:14,103 --> 00:40:16,164 -Then you know she's coming for you. 821 00:40:17,273 --> 00:40:18,541 -Oh, I do. 822 00:40:19,984 --> 00:40:22,045 And I can't fucking wait. 823 00:40:23,529 --> 00:40:25,331 ♪ Love ♪ 824 00:40:25,365 --> 00:40:29,752 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 825 00:40:29,786 --> 00:40:31,754 ♪ Love ♪ 826 00:40:31,788 --> 00:40:35,975 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 827 00:40:42,382 --> 00:40:45,852 ♪ Why is the bedroom ♪ ♪ So cold? ♪ 828 00:40:45,885 --> 00:40:49,147 ♪ You've turned away ♪ ♪ On your side ♪ 829 00:40:49,180 --> 00:40:52,358 ♪ Is my timing that flawed? ♪ 830 00:40:52,392 --> 00:40:55,820 ♪ Our respect runs so dry ♪ 831 00:40:55,853 --> 00:40:59,032 ♪ Yet there's still ♪ ♪ This appeal ♪ 832 00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:02,493 ♪ That we've kept ♪ ♪ Through our lives ♪ 833 00:41:02,527 --> 00:41:04,454 ♪ But love ♪ 834 00:41:04,487 --> 00:41:08,958 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 835 00:41:08,992 --> 00:41:10,960 ♪ Love ♪ 836 00:41:10,994 --> 00:41:15,631 ♪ Love will tear us ♪ ♪ Apart again ♪ 837 00:41:15,665 --> 00:41:18,726 [song continues]