1 00:00:20,875 --> 00:00:24,750 It was Christmas Eve, baby 2 00:00:25,958 --> 00:00:29,416 And in one sobering-up station 3 00:00:29,750 --> 00:00:32,958 the old man told me: 4 00:00:33,708 --> 00:00:37,083 "I won't see the next one" 5 00:00:38,083 --> 00:00:42,375 and we began to sing a song 6 00:00:42,875 --> 00:00:46,750 "The Rare Old Mountain's Dew" 7 00:00:46,833 --> 00:00:50,000 I turned away 8 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:55,083 and began to dream about you. 9 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,083 Oh, this one looks like it will do. 10 00:01:05,291 --> 00:01:08,625 What was Ogorda baking? did you arrange it here? 11 00:01:08,708 --> 00:01:12,000 Hello captain. We just, um... Have you ever heard of Christmas? 12 00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:13,083 What? 13 00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:16,208 Well, it's a holiday that everyone a year passes on our Earth, 14 00:01:16,916 --> 00:01:19,625 when everyone gives gifts to each other. 15 00:01:20,458 --> 00:01:23,666 That's what Kraglin and I did this tree, and we have gifts here for everyone. 16 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:25,000 It was Pete's idea. 17 00:01:26,958 --> 00:01:31,333 - And this is for you. - Don't come to me with your fucking gifts. 18 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:35,958 The Ravager only gets what what it deserves, we don’t need handouts. 19 00:01:36,541 --> 00:01:41,166 “It’s more of a sign of gratitude.” - This looks even more like snot, kid. 20 00:01:41,250 --> 00:01:43,833 Maybe for you softies earthlings, it's normal, 21 00:01:44,125 --> 00:01:47,166 but here, in the harsh conditions of space, it could kill you. 22 00:01:47,833 --> 00:01:50,375 And you, you're not at all should have allowed this to happen. 23 00:01:51,458 --> 00:01:54,708 That's it, get this crap out of here. 24 00:01:54,833 --> 00:01:56,666 If you don't clean it up by the time I return, 25 00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:00,708 both of you will clean toilets until the end of the fucking year. 26 00:02:00,958 --> 00:02:04,750 “But this is Jeff’s favorite pastime.” — You decided to bet, Kraglin? 27 00:02:04,833 --> 00:02:05,833 No. 28 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:13,083 I hate Christmas! 29 00:02:18,250 --> 00:02:22,125 And so Yondu ruined Christmas forever. 30 00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:24,083 It's so sad. 31 00:02:25,958 --> 00:02:28,083 And I liked how Yondu kicked the tree. 32 00:02:35,041 --> 00:02:37,000 Anyway, I'm new here looked at the multi-calendar, 33 00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:40,166 and right now on Earth almost Christmas holidays. 34 00:02:40,250 --> 00:02:43,291 So yes, I remembered that. 35 00:02:43,375 --> 00:02:44,500 Yondu was right about something. 36 00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:46,583 Since we bought Oblivion from the Collector, 37 00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:49,666 we don't have time for nonsense like Christmas. 38 00:02:50,208 --> 00:02:53,083 It still takes a long time to repair everything here, so that this place becomes inhabitable. 39 00:02:53,708 --> 00:02:56,541 - Yeah, it's time for us to get to work. - Yeah. 40 00:03:00,833 --> 00:03:02,833 It was such a sad story. 41 00:03:03,125 --> 00:03:06,166 And don't talk. I hate stories where everyone survives. 42 00:03:15,625 --> 00:03:16,875 - Thank you. - Yeah. 43 00:03:21,333 --> 00:03:24,541 Cosmo, why do you need telekinesis? if you can't aim properly? 44 00:03:24,708 --> 00:03:26,666 Do you want to do everything yourself? Come on. 45 00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:29,750 Just concentrate, you stupid mongrel. 46 00:03:32,916 --> 00:03:33,916 What? 47 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:36,541 I refuse to work while you insult me. 48 00:03:36,666 --> 00:03:39,708 Okay, okay. Sorry. Calm down. 49 00:03:39,833 --> 00:03:43,208 And I also want that one a treat from your bag. 50 00:03:51,916 --> 00:03:53,791 Okay, but this is the last one. To work. 51 00:03:57,583 --> 00:03:58,833 Here he is. 52 00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:01,500 Hello Peter. 53 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,416 Oh, hi, Bizermicitokolok. 54 00:04:04,583 --> 00:04:06,375 Me and the guys from the group learning to play 55 00:04:06,458 --> 00:04:09,458 on these old earthly instruments, and we got one song. 56 00:04:09,541 --> 00:04:11,333 I thought that you can you help us, 57 00:04:11,416 --> 00:04:13,625 it's about one of the your traditions from Earth. 58 00:04:13,916 --> 00:04:15,416 - ABOUT? - About Christmas. 59 00:04:15,708 --> 00:04:16,708 Oh. 60 00:04:16,791 --> 00:04:19,750 I learned everything about Christmas from Rocket, 61 00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:22,458 who learned from Cosmo, who learned from Kraglin, 62 00:04:22,583 --> 00:04:23,708 who learned from you. 63 00:04:23,791 --> 00:04:25,708 So I thought that you can go straight to the source, 64 00:04:25,791 --> 00:04:28,333 and make sure that I understood everything correctly. 65 00:04:28,458 --> 00:04:30,875 This is, after all, historical work. 66 00:04:31,083 --> 00:04:32,250 - OK. No problem. - Super. 67 00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,958 On the third planet close to the sun 68 00:04:35,041 --> 00:04:38,916 There is a special holiday, and it sounds so funny. 69 00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,958 Funny grandpa delivers toys to everyone 70 00:04:42,041 --> 00:04:44,958 for a holiday called Christmas. 71 00:04:45,041 --> 00:04:46,791 Perfect. Fine. Bizer, great job. 72 00:04:46,875 --> 00:04:48,333 But I won't lie, 73 00:04:48,458 --> 00:04:49,458 Oh, it's not over. 74 00:04:49,583 --> 00:04:50,833 it is incomprehensible to me. 75 00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:56,333 But here's what I learned about this Christmas secret. 76 00:04:56,416 --> 00:04:58,875 I'm very busy. Will there be a long song? 77 00:04:59,208 --> 00:05:00,416 One, two, three. 78 00:05:00,625 --> 00:05:05,958 Santa is a furry weirdo with cool abilities. 79 00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:12,000 It flies around all people's houses in 14 hours. 80 00:05:12,416 --> 00:05:14,583 He is a master burglar. 81 00:05:14,666 --> 00:05:15,666 No. 82 00:05:15,750 --> 00:05:17,500 Easily picks locks. 83 00:05:17,583 --> 00:05:18,583 No. 84 00:05:18,666 --> 00:05:20,833 If you don't leave milk with cookies 85 00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:24,458 he will shit in your socks. 86 00:05:24,541 --> 00:05:26,750 There is no such thing in history at all. 87 00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:29,750 If you behave well at night 88 00:05:29,875 --> 00:05:32,583 and don’t jump on the bed. 89 00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:38,458 Santa will come with candy and will throw them on your head. 90 00:05:38,958 --> 00:05:41,625 But if you're on the naughty list 91 00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:44,500 he will fire missiles at your feet. 92 00:05:44,833 --> 00:05:47,208 Or roast your chestnuts 93 00:05:47,291 --> 00:05:52,041 powerful flamethrower. 94 00:05:52,125 --> 00:05:54,083 No, he doesn't have a flamethrower. 95 00:05:54,291 --> 00:05:55,833 Northern, northern, northern 96 00:05:55,916 --> 00:05:56,916 Oh, this is cool. 97 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,208 Deer, deer, deer. 98 00:05:59,708 --> 00:06:05,208 I don't know what Christmas is, but the Christmas holidays are already here. 99 00:06:07,250 --> 00:06:11,791 He forces his creepy elves fulfill all his wishes. 100 00:06:11,875 --> 00:06:12,916 Huh? 101 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:18,416 One wanted to become a dentist, and now he feeds the fish. 102 00:06:19,166 --> 00:06:24,541 Mrs. Claus shines with her poles and plans her husband's death. 103 00:06:24,625 --> 00:06:25,625 No! 104 00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,583 Soon the elves will rise 105 00:06:27,666 --> 00:06:31,125 and cut out Santa's eyes. 106 00:06:31,333 --> 00:06:32,791 I am Groot. 107 00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,125 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 108 00:06:36,875 --> 00:06:39,291 Earthlings are so strange. 109 00:06:39,375 --> 00:06:40,416 It's true. 110 00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:45,083 I don't know what Christmas is, but the Christmas holidays are already here. 111 00:06:45,833 --> 00:06:48,083 Ho, ho, ho, ho. 112 00:06:48,750 --> 00:06:51,500 Earthlings are so strange. 113 00:06:51,750 --> 00:06:57,333 I don't know what Christmas is, but the Christmas holidays are already here. 114 00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,916 What the hell is this turtledove? 115 00:07:01,750 --> 00:07:05,041 And who set the deer on fire? 116 00:07:06,916 --> 00:07:12,708 I don't know what Christmas is, but the Christmas holidays are already here. 117 00:07:12,791 --> 00:07:18,333 I don't know what Christmas is, but the Christmas holidays are already here. 118 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:23,000 Or is it there, or somewhere else. 119 00:07:23,666 --> 00:07:24,750 I don't know. 120 00:07:27,125 --> 00:07:30,166 —And you just found these tools? - Thank you, Oblivion. 121 00:07:33,250 --> 00:07:34,958 Have you ever seen more engaged listeners? 122 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,750 He liked it, guys. 123 00:07:42,708 --> 00:07:45,000 Looks like Christmas wonderful time 124 00:07:45,125 --> 00:07:46,916 and Yondu ruined it for Peter. 125 00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:49,458 I feel like I should do something. 126 00:07:49,666 --> 00:07:54,000 - Why? - Well, you know, because of my secret. 127 00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:56,083 Which only you know about. 128 00:07:56,208 --> 00:07:58,541 That you ate a whole plate zarg-nuts in the store? 129 00:07:58,625 --> 00:08:00,833 - Another secret. -What are you Quill's sister? 130 00:08:02,375 --> 00:08:04,083 Why not just say the truth to people? 131 00:08:04,375 --> 00:08:09,291 Peter's father, our father, killed his mom and tried to kill him. 132 00:08:10,541 --> 00:08:13,583 I don't want to remind him of this every time he sees me. 133 00:08:13,666 --> 00:08:15,541 No, I'm talking about zarg nuts. 134 00:08:15,666 --> 00:08:18,166 Oh. I don't think anyone cares except you. 135 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,333 Maybe it's because I'm his sister 136 00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:23,083 I feel like I have to arrange Merry Christmas to Peter. 137 00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:25,916 He's so sad without Gamora. 138 00:08:27,083 --> 00:08:30,541 Maybe if we did Peter truly a wonderful gift 139 00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:31,833 it will make him happy. 140 00:08:31,916 --> 00:08:34,666 Well we could give him zarg-nuts, but you ate them all! 141 00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,541 Forget about zarg nuts! 142 00:08:39,166 --> 00:08:43,083 - Then what gift? “Something special that he won’t forget.” 143 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:48,041 - Or maybe someone special? - What? 144 00:08:48,125 --> 00:08:51,041 All these years, Quill has constantly talking about the same person. 145 00:08:51,291 --> 00:08:53,791 About the legendary hero saving countless lives. 146 00:08:54,041 --> 00:08:56,458 We can give it away Like a gift to Peter. 147 00:09:05,916 --> 00:09:07,541 Kira, hello, dear. 148 00:09:07,625 --> 00:09:08,666 Hello baby. 149 00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:11,041 I can't wait to see yours returning from New York. 150 00:09:11,125 --> 00:09:12,375 -Have you bought everything? - Yeah. 151 00:09:12,458 --> 00:09:13,833 Yes, I have all the gifts. 152 00:09:14,458 --> 00:09:18,166 Everything is ready to be perfect family Christmas. 153 00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:28,041 I don’t care what the neighbors say 154 00:09:28,250 --> 00:09:30,708 Christmas is just around the corner. 155 00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:34,208 I don't care what others say. 156 00:09:34,291 --> 00:09:36,958 Christmas is full of joy. 157 00:09:37,041 --> 00:09:38,583 All I know is that Santa... 158 00:09:38,666 --> 00:09:40,000 Wow! 159 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,458 I wonder what Kevin Bacon lives in. 160 00:09:53,375 --> 00:09:56,166 Drax, why are they staring? 161 00:09:57,333 --> 00:10:00,375 You turned on the disguise, as you promised? 162 00:10:00,458 --> 00:10:01,500 Yes. 163 00:10:06,250 --> 00:10:09,500 I can clearly see what you did it's just right before my eyes. 164 00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:10,916 - No, I didn’t. - No, I did. 165 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,000 No, I didn't. 166 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,166 I should have taken Groot. 167 00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:20,833 Okay, let's go down to town and ask people where Kevin Bacon is. 168 00:10:20,916 --> 00:10:23,000 Do you think Kevin Bacon? leader of the whole world 169 00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:24,916 or just the majority? 170 00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:28,791 - I think that's all. - ABOUT! I can't wait. 171 00:10:43,333 --> 00:10:44,833 Look! 172 00:10:58,208 --> 00:10:59,791 Steve! 173 00:11:03,958 --> 00:11:06,208 - Why is he running away? - Don't know. 174 00:11:09,958 --> 00:11:14,250 - Hey! - No! Sorry. The GoBots killed his cousin. 175 00:11:14,333 --> 00:11:17,875 - I'll tear your head off! - Drax! Stop being racist. 176 00:11:21,708 --> 00:11:24,916 Hello, can I have a photo? Come on guys. Are you ready? 177 00:11:27,500 --> 00:11:30,083 - Okay, cool. Thanks a lot. - Thank you. 178 00:11:30,166 --> 00:11:32,166 Now we have a photo with the God of War! 179 00:12:17,708 --> 00:12:19,916 Maybe Kevin Bacon will be here? 180 00:12:45,750 --> 00:12:47,583 Give us your best libations. 181 00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:50,791 Have you seen Kevin Bacon anywhere? 182 00:12:50,875 --> 00:12:53,125 How should I know where to find Kevin Bacon? 183 00:13:10,458 --> 00:13:11,916 Mmm. More. 184 00:13:22,291 --> 00:13:27,041 - Come and dance with us. - Dancing is for pathetic people. 185 00:13:29,291 --> 00:13:31,125 - Maybe we can have a drink then? - Yes! 186 00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:33,041 Two tequila shots, please. 187 00:13:52,625 --> 00:13:55,208 I can't believe it that none 188 00:13:55,291 --> 00:13:59,791 from our new friends doesn't know where Kevin Bacon is. 189 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:04,000 There are dozens on this planet thousands of people 190 00:14:04,875 --> 00:14:08,000 and we don't even know What does Kevin Bacon look like? 191 00:14:09,625 --> 00:14:11,208 Do you want to know where Kevin Bacon lives? 192 00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:14,708 Yes. 193 00:14:23,541 --> 00:14:24,791 That's 40 bucks from you. 194 00:14:28,125 --> 00:14:29,166 Ooh. 195 00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:36,125 I don't know where my money is. 196 00:14:37,875 --> 00:14:39,500 Give it away for free. 197 00:14:43,708 --> 00:14:45,208 Give all your money. 198 00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:50,250 Drax, come on, move. 199 00:14:52,083 --> 00:14:55,083 It's not quite the same what do you have on Earth, 200 00:14:55,166 --> 00:14:57,000 but I'm sure it's all the same will serve you well. 201 00:14:57,083 --> 00:15:00,250 Fine. Fine. Well now it's time for me 202 00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,333 it's time to open a store full of toys, 203 00:15:03,416 --> 00:15:06,250 so I can go back to Earth for Christmas. 204 00:15:06,333 --> 00:15:11,250 Because, you know, Mrs. Claus very kind woman. But... 205 00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:14,625 Santa Claus, you never you won't return to Earth. 206 00:15:14,708 --> 00:15:15,708 Stop. 207 00:15:24,541 --> 00:15:25,666 Is there anything I can help you with? 208 00:15:27,458 --> 00:15:31,125 Yes. We are looking for the legendary Kevin Bacon. 209 00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:33,666 We are looking for the legendary Kevin Bacon. 210 00:15:33,875 --> 00:15:34,916 I just said it, Drax. 211 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:37,291 You have a thin voice, like a mouse. I thought he didn't hear you. 212 00:15:37,416 --> 00:15:40,416 I heard. He's Kevin Bacon. He must have great ears. 213 00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:43,083 Sorry guys. I can't help you. 214 00:15:43,583 --> 00:15:44,916 Wait, wait, wait. 215 00:15:46,750 --> 00:15:48,541 Hello? 216 00:15:49,958 --> 00:15:50,958 Hello? 217 00:15:52,333 --> 00:15:54,833 Hello? Hello? Hello! 218 00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:03,625 He's missing. Look what you've done. 219 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,541 You behaved strangely and that's why he didn't want to talk to us. 220 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 Sorry. 221 00:16:13,958 --> 00:16:16,458 Do you think it will work out? throw me over the gate if... 222 00:16:19,791 --> 00:16:22,083 Aw! 223 00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:25,833 - What have you done? - Threw you over the gate. 224 00:16:26,583 --> 00:16:30,416 I didn't mean right now. I meant when I'm ready. 225 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,833 I didn't even finish speaking. 226 00:16:32,916 --> 00:16:34,916 Throw it over the gate. Don't throw it over the gate. 227 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,041 Decide already. 228 00:16:49,458 --> 00:16:50,666 Whoa! 229 00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:58,791 - I want this funny man. “You can’t just take someone else’s.” 230 00:17:01,333 --> 00:17:02,333 Oh. 231 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,083 But why is it here then? 232 00:17:10,750 --> 00:17:12,666 Kevin Bacon! 233 00:17:14,708 --> 00:17:16,458 Kevin Bacon! 234 00:17:17,958 --> 00:17:19,750 Kevin Bacon! 235 00:17:24,333 --> 00:17:25,750 Kevin Bacon! 236 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,458 Kevin Bacon! 237 00:17:31,458 --> 00:17:34,166 Kevin Bacon! 238 00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:39,083 Okay guys, I don't know what you're talking about. you think, but it's not cool. 239 00:17:39,166 --> 00:17:40,291 This is private property. 240 00:17:40,416 --> 00:17:46,291 Now please let me go elf, candy cane and leave. 241 00:17:46,625 --> 00:17:48,583 I'm calling the police. 242 00:17:53,583 --> 00:17:55,500 911. What happened to you? 243 00:17:55,708 --> 00:17:57,791 You are coming with us. This is a Christmas gift. 244 00:17:57,875 --> 00:18:01,208 911. How can I help? Hello? Hello? 245 00:18:01,791 --> 00:18:04,708 There are two here... I don't know who they are. People in suits. 246 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,583 I want an alien for Christmas. 247 00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:12,125 Give me an alien this year. 248 00:18:12,208 --> 00:18:15,708 I need a green man a meter tall... 249 00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:23,083 I want an alien for Christmas this year. 250 00:18:42,750 --> 00:18:43,958 - Stop! - What? 251 00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,875 I forgot my funny one guy in the house. 252 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,375 - What? - I'll come back and get him. 253 00:18:47,458 --> 00:18:49,250 But Kevin Bacon will escape. 254 00:18:49,333 --> 00:18:51,333 But you have your folded one red and white curly man. 255 00:18:51,416 --> 00:18:54,125 Where did you even get the idea from? what is this person? 256 00:18:54,500 --> 00:18:57,958 - What is this then? - Don't know. Figure? 257 00:18:58,083 --> 00:19:00,541 Well, why can you leave him, but I don’t? 258 00:19:00,625 --> 00:19:03,250 Because I was responsible and kept it with her. 259 00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:08,708 Drax, do you love Peter? and want to save Christmas? 260 00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,625 Or do you want funny guy? 261 00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,333 Um... 262 00:19:18,166 --> 00:19:20,375 - Funny guy. - No! 263 00:19:44,041 --> 00:19:48,500 — Mr. Bacon. We received your 911 message. - Save me from them. 264 00:19:50,458 --> 00:19:52,166 Hey, I'm a police officer. 265 00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:55,208 I don't know what's going on here but you better move away, or I'll shoot. 266 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:58,375 Raise your hands above your head! Stand! 267 00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:08,041 Enough. It's ticklish. Enough, I'll wet my pants. 268 00:20:14,541 --> 00:20:16,791 - Sleep. - Hey! 269 00:20:20,125 --> 00:20:21,666 - Sleep. - Let him go! Let go! Let go! 270 00:20:21,750 --> 00:20:24,000 Stand! To the ground! To the ground! 271 00:20:32,750 --> 00:20:33,750 Sleep. 272 00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:49,708 Drax! You can't just kill people. 273 00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:52,166 Well, how do I know the rules? what if no one told me about them? 274 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:04,666 Are you okay? 275 00:21:06,208 --> 00:21:08,083 We don't nothing wrong. 276 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:11,583 We're just taking the legendary hero Kevin Bacon, 277 00:21:11,666 --> 00:21:14,916 to give it to our a friend who is sad at Christmas. 278 00:21:15,166 --> 00:21:16,166 OK. 279 00:21:19,125 --> 00:21:20,125 Here. 280 00:21:24,583 --> 00:21:28,541 I really wanted this but we're even now, okay? 281 00:21:30,250 --> 00:21:31,250 Certainly. 282 00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:35,708 Don't you think that it looks like a person, right? 283 00:21:35,833 --> 00:21:38,291 Per person? No. 284 00:21:39,375 --> 00:21:42,875 Of course not. My friend is an idiot. 285 00:21:51,083 --> 00:21:52,791 You'll want to come with us. 286 00:21:54,250 --> 00:21:58,333 - Hey, where are we going? - First there. 287 00:22:00,375 --> 00:22:01,500 Whoa! 288 00:22:01,583 --> 00:22:02,583 Cool. 289 00:22:17,041 --> 00:22:18,791 Are you friends with the Fonz? 290 00:22:19,375 --> 00:22:21,166 - With whom? - With the Fonz. 291 00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:25,333 - Fonz. He's a hero like you. — Were you on a team with him? 292 00:22:25,416 --> 00:22:27,791 A. Well, the Fonz's real name is Henry Winkler. 293 00:22:27,875 --> 00:22:30,291 And, yes, I know him. He is a very good person. 294 00:22:30,458 --> 00:22:33,833 Does dinner count as teamwork? 295 00:22:33,916 --> 00:22:36,916 No. Eating together doesn't mean be on a team. 296 00:22:37,041 --> 00:22:39,250 Tell me what it was like save the town 297 00:22:39,333 --> 00:22:40,500 dancing like an idiot? 298 00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:42,666 Oh, well. It wasn't me. 299 00:22:42,750 --> 00:22:46,833 This was the character I played Ren McCormack, in the movie Footloose. 300 00:22:47,083 --> 00:22:48,083 What? 301 00:22:48,291 --> 00:22:50,250 What about the case when you won 302 00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:54,000 super powerful masked killer Jason Voorhees in the woods? 303 00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:55,166 Yeah. 304 00:22:55,958 --> 00:22:58,458 Nope. Not me again. Just my character. 305 00:22:58,791 --> 00:23:01,333 And in fact he didn't kill Jason. 306 00:23:01,625 --> 00:23:05,083 An arrow hit him in the neck. 307 00:23:07,541 --> 00:23:08,541 Yeah. 308 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:16,041 He's an actor! He didn't actually save anyone. 309 00:23:16,166 --> 00:23:18,583 - But the actors are disgusting. - I know. 310 00:23:21,250 --> 00:23:24,000 They make me very, very disgusted when they pretend to be someone else. 311 00:23:24,083 --> 00:23:26,875 No. Acting is a wonderful profession. 312 00:23:26,958 --> 00:23:29,000 With her you can live more than one life, 313 00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:30,500 but several at once. 314 00:23:30,583 --> 00:23:35,083 We're bringing Quill the worst gift ever. Disgusting actor! 315 00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:40,916 - This is the worst day of my life! “We ruined Christmas worse than Yondu.” 316 00:23:41,208 --> 00:23:45,083 Peter was a child when he flew away from Earth. His memory is not good. 317 00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:47,041 He remembers everything wrong. 318 00:23:49,875 --> 00:23:53,333 Kevin Bacon, you have to. pretend to be a real hero, 319 00:23:53,416 --> 00:23:55,666 otherwise Christmas is doomed. 320 00:23:57,541 --> 00:23:58,916 May I fail, buddy. 321 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,791 I can't wait until we Let's defeat these Nazis on the beach. 322 00:24:02,416 --> 00:24:05,083 - What are you doing? - I'm a hero, right? 323 00:24:05,166 --> 00:24:08,250 I'm a private in the British Army during the Second World War. 324 00:24:08,333 --> 00:24:10,583 No. Bring back your normal voice. 325 00:24:10,666 --> 00:24:14,666 Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. I'm Batman. 326 00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:19,000 - More precisely, hello. I'm Bruce Wayne. -Who is Bruce Wayne? 327 00:24:19,125 --> 00:24:23,125 No! You don't have to be someone else. Be Kevin Bacon, but not a lame one! 328 00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:28,208 Wow. 329 00:24:29,125 --> 00:24:33,500 Strange. Because normally I would, like, really angry, 330 00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:34,583 but I don't know. 331 00:24:34,791 --> 00:24:41,291 Now, for some reason, For some reason I like all this. 332 00:24:42,208 --> 00:24:43,500 Hm. 333 00:24:44,041 --> 00:24:45,083 We hate you. 334 00:24:58,833 --> 00:25:02,083 We watch children play 335 00:25:03,500 --> 00:25:06,333 next to the Christmas tree. 336 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:13,000 All gifts are packed, and everything is so beautiful. 337 00:25:13,541 --> 00:25:19,708 Those gifts that you hid 338 00:25:20,541 --> 00:25:26,458 fun awaits you inside. 339 00:25:27,625 --> 00:25:30,958 Christmas time has come, 340 00:25:32,125 --> 00:25:35,250 there are toys for everyone. 341 00:25:36,875 --> 00:25:42,583 Christmas has come to you. 342 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:45,083 I remember how I dreamed 343 00:25:46,250 --> 00:25:52,458 Waited, hoped, prayed for this day. 344 00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:54,125 And now I see them 345 00:25:55,250 --> 00:25:58,333 babies that I love. 346 00:25:59,666 --> 00:26:03,708 They are so happy about it 347 00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:08,833 that Christmas has come. 348 00:26:09,333 --> 00:26:12,875 There are toys for everyone 349 00:26:14,166 --> 00:26:20,250 Christmas has come to you. 350 00:26:30,166 --> 00:26:32,833 And the time has come to say: 351 00:26:34,250 --> 00:26:36,958 it's time to look inside. 352 00:26:39,708 --> 00:26:41,000 You're kidding. 353 00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:46,750 I want to see your joy. 354 00:26:47,041 --> 00:26:52,416 Merry Christmas, Peter. From me and Drax, and in general, 355 00:26:55,458 --> 00:26:56,625 from everyone. 356 00:26:59,375 --> 00:27:01,750 Christmas has come. 357 00:27:02,500 --> 00:27:05,666 There are toys for everyone. 358 00:27:07,750 --> 00:27:13,083 Christmas has come... 359 00:27:14,291 --> 00:27:16,125 To you. 360 00:27:18,625 --> 00:27:20,791 Oh! Guys. 361 00:27:21,625 --> 00:27:25,083 There are toys for everyone. 362 00:27:26,750 --> 00:27:27,875 What did you do? 363 00:27:27,958 --> 00:27:30,708 Christmas has come... 364 00:27:30,791 --> 00:27:33,083 To you. 365 00:27:41,708 --> 00:27:44,750 Hey, um, guys, I'm going to lose consciousness here. 366 00:27:44,833 --> 00:27:46,333 There is no air here. 367 00:27:58,041 --> 00:27:59,125 Ta-da! 368 00:27:59,333 --> 00:28:02,500 You must be Pete. Merry Christmas! 369 00:28:03,791 --> 00:28:07,333 This is Kevin Bacon. He's not a loser. He's great. We don't hate him at all. 370 00:28:09,583 --> 00:28:10,583 What have you done? 371 00:28:10,666 --> 00:28:12,291 - What? - What have you done? 372 00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:16,791 - We gave you Kevin Bacon. -You gave me a person? 373 00:28:16,875 --> 00:28:18,958 What else can you give to a person? who has everything 374 00:28:19,041 --> 00:28:21,583 if not a real living person? 375 00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:25,625 This is not a Christmas present! This is human trafficking! 376 00:28:25,708 --> 00:28:28,333 - Yes! “It was mostly Drax's idea.” 377 00:28:28,541 --> 00:28:29,541 That's true. 378 00:28:29,625 --> 00:28:31,208 Hey Pete, I have to stand up for the guys 379 00:28:31,291 --> 00:28:33,166 because, to tell the truth, 380 00:28:33,250 --> 00:28:36,458 I'm happy to I'm involved in all this, buddy. 381 00:28:38,625 --> 00:28:42,291 -You used your abilities, right? - Maybe. I don't remember. 382 00:28:42,375 --> 00:28:45,083 Bring out Kevin Bacon out of trance now! 383 00:28:49,208 --> 00:28:50,833 Be who you really are. 384 00:29:03,500 --> 00:29:05,875 Man, calm down. We won't touch you. 385 00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:09,791 - It's a talking raccoon. - Yes, I will finish you off! Don't you dare call me that! 386 00:29:09,875 --> 00:29:11,208 Whoa! 387 00:29:11,291 --> 00:29:13,125 Sir, sir, sir. Listen, listen. 388 00:29:13,583 --> 00:29:17,250 Kraglin, get Bowie ready to send him to Earth. 389 00:29:17,333 --> 00:29:19,208 - Yes, captain. - Mr. Bacon, I'm so sorry. 390 00:29:19,375 --> 00:29:20,375 This is downright disgraceful. 391 00:29:20,458 --> 00:29:23,083 I know what you're going through just like your family. 392 00:29:23,166 --> 00:29:24,958 We will immediately we'll bring you home. 393 00:29:25,041 --> 00:29:26,166 I am Groot. 394 00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:28,833 O. And you suddenly decided that this was a bad idea from the start? 395 00:29:28,916 --> 00:29:29,916 I am Groot. 396 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,500 Dude, I literally saw it now how you brought him to the very center. 397 00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:38,333 I'll let you go, Kevin Bacon. Don't run away. 398 00:29:38,958 --> 00:29:41,125 -You won't run away? - No no. No, no, no. 399 00:29:44,875 --> 00:29:47,458 — Bring back Kevin Bacon. - I'll sort it out. 400 00:29:48,416 --> 00:29:51,500 - Don't kill him. “You can’t escape me, Bacon!” 401 00:30:03,041 --> 00:30:04,666 Hey, there was a tree right there. 402 00:30:04,750 --> 00:30:08,625 Oh Groot? Yes, he's still a child. Sorry about all this. 403 00:30:09,166 --> 00:30:10,708 What's on your head? 404 00:30:11,500 --> 00:30:14,958 A device that allows control a flying arrow. 405 00:30:15,041 --> 00:30:17,333 But I haven't learned yet use it. 406 00:30:19,083 --> 00:30:20,708 I know this is all a shock to you, 407 00:30:20,791 --> 00:30:25,083 but it happened because you mean a lot to Pete. 408 00:30:26,708 --> 00:30:28,291 Pete didn't like much when I was growing up, 409 00:30:28,375 --> 00:30:32,041 but he really loved to tell we all have stories about you. 410 00:30:32,333 --> 00:30:36,000 - About me? — You saved the city by dancing. 411 00:30:36,916 --> 00:30:41,708 And one day, Peter saved a whole dance the galaxy. For real. 412 00:30:42,250 --> 00:30:43,958 You taught him how to be a hero, 413 00:30:44,958 --> 00:30:47,250 and now he might the greatest hero in the world. 414 00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:53,416 Mant and other fools, 415 00:30:53,500 --> 00:30:58,625 they just hoped that you would return the joy of Christmas in his heart, that's all. 416 00:31:05,250 --> 00:31:06,416 Whoa! 417 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,583 Where does this connection even come from? 418 00:31:14,250 --> 00:31:15,791 A pair of satellite dishes in front 419 00:31:15,875 --> 00:31:18,541 catches everything within 400 million light years. 420 00:31:18,625 --> 00:31:19,625 Hello dear. 421 00:31:19,708 --> 00:31:20,750 Are you home? 422 00:31:20,833 --> 00:31:23,916 Not yet. I'm with... friends. 423 00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:26,958 Oh okay. And when will you come home? 424 00:31:29,708 --> 00:31:33,708 Listen, do you mind? what if I'm a little late? 425 00:31:35,125 --> 00:31:39,958 A couple of my friends are very need to know more about Christmas. 426 00:31:55,958 --> 00:31:59,583 When we are born, we are swaddled and press. 427 00:31:59,708 --> 00:32:03,333 They whisper to us, they look after us, tickle and hug. 428 00:32:03,500 --> 00:32:07,166 And when we grow up, everything is much more complicated. 429 00:32:07,333 --> 00:32:09,958 And then Christmas comes. 430 00:32:11,250 --> 00:32:15,666 Drop by for a piece peach pie? 431 00:32:15,750 --> 00:32:18,666 While I'm telling about Christmas wishes 432 00:32:18,875 --> 00:32:22,333 can you help me with the dishes. 433 00:32:22,416 --> 00:32:25,291 Christmas has come. 434 00:32:25,416 --> 00:32:27,458 And we all want someone. 435 00:32:28,750 --> 00:32:31,250 Who will love us and hold us, 436 00:32:32,958 --> 00:32:35,625 will lie down next to you. 437 00:32:36,708 --> 00:32:39,375 When the nights are colder 438 00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:43,041 And we all want someone. 439 00:32:43,958 --> 00:32:46,625 Who will hug and kiss us. 440 00:32:49,625 --> 00:32:53,125 For Christmas I only want you. 441 00:32:55,166 --> 00:32:58,625 Let's explore together Christmas spirit 442 00:32:58,750 --> 00:33:02,500 Let the kids sing and we will listen to them. 443 00:33:02,583 --> 00:33:06,166 Light the fireplace and place a chair next to it. 444 00:33:06,291 --> 00:33:08,250 Christmas has come. 445 00:33:08,375 --> 00:33:09,708 Bucky's hand? 446 00:33:09,791 --> 00:33:11,333 We all want someone. 447 00:33:12,208 --> 00:33:13,208 Merry Christmas. 448 00:33:13,291 --> 00:33:15,291 Who will love us and hold us. 449 00:33:16,916 --> 00:33:19,250 And lies down next to you. 450 00:33:20,541 --> 00:33:22,666 When the nights are colder. 451 00:33:24,375 --> 00:33:26,416 And we all want someone. 452 00:33:27,833 --> 00:33:30,416 Who will hug and kiss us. 453 00:33:33,500 --> 00:33:36,875 For Christmas I only want you. 454 00:34:09,208 --> 00:34:12,875 When we are born, we are swaddled and press. 455 00:34:13,083 --> 00:34:16,750 They whisper to us, they look after us, tickle and hug. 456 00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:20,500 And when we grow up, everything is much more complicated. 457 00:34:20,583 --> 00:34:23,375 And then Christmas comes. 458 00:34:23,458 --> 00:34:25,791 And we all want someone. 459 00:34:26,750 --> 00:34:29,625 Who will love us and hold us, 460 00:34:31,125 --> 00:34:33,708 will lie down next to you. 461 00:34:34,833 --> 00:34:37,333 When the nights are colder 462 00:34:38,666 --> 00:34:41,250 And we all want someone. 463 00:34:41,958 --> 00:34:44,875 Who will hug and kiss us. 464 00:34:47,583 --> 00:34:51,208 For Christmas I only want you. 465 00:34:51,291 --> 00:34:54,791 For Christmas I only want you. 466 00:34:54,875 --> 00:34:58,958 For Christmas I only want you. 467 00:35:18,083 --> 00:35:20,416 — Best Christmas of my life. - Oh, come on. Let's hug. 468 00:35:21,875 --> 00:35:23,208 Like this. Yes. 469 00:35:23,958 --> 00:35:26,500 - I love you guys. - We love you, Kevin Bacon. 470 00:35:26,625 --> 00:35:28,625 Bye, Kevin Bacon. 471 00:35:28,708 --> 00:35:30,791 See you, Kevin Bacon. 472 00:35:30,916 --> 00:35:33,458 - We love you, Kevin Bacon. - Yeah, see you at Easter. 473 00:35:35,875 --> 00:35:39,833 Wow. Looks like not everyone The actors are complete pieces of crap. 474 00:35:46,250 --> 00:35:50,791 I can't believe what you did this is all for me. But why? 475 00:35:51,541 --> 00:35:52,541 Why what? 476 00:35:52,625 --> 00:35:56,000 Why did you go spend so much efforts, going all the way to Earth, 477 00:35:56,083 --> 00:35:59,208 to kidnap Kevin Bacon? 478 00:36:01,125 --> 00:36:04,750 Kraglin told us a story about how Yondu ruined Christmas. 479 00:36:05,416 --> 00:36:07,291 We wanted to save it for you. 480 00:36:11,291 --> 00:36:13,625 I'm not sure Kraglin knows how this story ended. 481 00:36:48,625 --> 00:36:51,647 To Peter from Yondu. 482 00:37:01,500 --> 00:37:03,000 This is so cute. 483 00:37:05,500 --> 00:37:06,500 This is all Yondu. 484 00:37:08,125 --> 00:37:13,625 I guess I wanted to do something for you special also because, well... 485 00:37:17,416 --> 00:37:20,250 - What? - Your father, Peter. 486 00:37:22,166 --> 00:37:26,166 - He might be... - Ego? He could be what? 487 00:37:26,458 --> 00:37:27,750 He can... 488 00:37:28,541 --> 00:37:32,791 No, he's definitely my father too. 489 00:37:36,916 --> 00:37:38,750 Stop. So, are you my sister? 490 00:37:44,166 --> 00:37:49,291 Mantis, this is the best Christmas one gift in the world! 491 00:38:00,583 --> 00:38:03,875 - Merry Christmas, Mantis. - Merry Christmas, Peter. 492 00:38:24,666 --> 00:38:27,083 I could become someone. 493 00:38:27,916 --> 00:38:30,583 Like any person. 494 00:38:30,666 --> 00:38:36,708 But he took away my dreams, when I found you. 495 00:38:36,791 --> 00:38:39,666 They were with me, baby. 496 00:38:39,750 --> 00:38:42,500 They are always next to mine. 497 00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:45,541 One person cannot cope. 498 00:38:45,625 --> 00:38:49,166 My dreams revolve around you. 499 00:38:51,041 --> 00:38:53,750 Chorus Boys 500 00:38:53,833 --> 00:38:56,333 They still sing "Galway Bay". 501 00:38:56,458 --> 00:38:59,166 And the bells are ringing 502 00:38:59,250 --> 00:39:00,054 for Christmas. 503 00:39:00,156 --> 00:39:02,956 Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to everyone. 504 00:39:03,304 --> 00:39:05,820 Don't miss the post-credits scene. 505 00:39:05,914 --> 00:39:58,448 Translated for the tg channel "Where are the texts, Lebowski?" t.me/lebowskiposts 506 00:41:41,375 --> 00:41:45,750 - Damn it, Groot! - Groot ruined Christmas again. 507 00:41:46,541 --> 00:41:48,166 Well now I have to do another special issue.