1 00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,050 What about me isn't enough for Lena? 2 00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:12,511 Is it that I sometimes skip leg day? 3 00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,138 Is it my veneers? 4 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,931 Is it that gray hair I found? 5 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,391 Is it because I say "to-may-toes," 6 00:00:17,392 --> 00:00:18,684 and she says "to-mah-toes"? 7 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:21,145 I mean, is that enough to call the whole thing off? 8 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,814 Ugh! My dude, I'm just here to get you 9 00:00:23,815 --> 00:00:26,734 to sign the time card for Sophia's internship. 10 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:29,153 What am I even still doing in this city? 11 00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,821 What am I even still doing in this city? 12 00:00:30,822 --> 00:00:32,781 I don't need this place. I bet without me 13 00:00:32,782 --> 00:00:34,825 that stupid paper's gone up in flames. 14 00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:42,666 Some might call us a gossip rag. 15 00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:45,836 But I say, "From rags to riches!" 16 00:00:45,837 --> 00:00:49,048 I can't believe we swept the Muckraker awards. 17 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,550 Suck my ass, TMZ. 18 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:55,846 Quality journalism always floats to the top. 19 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:59,141 Goldie and Betty went to the American Girl store 20 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:04,188 in Fawcett City so Bane's getting toe the fuck up. 21 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,148 Delicious. 22 00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:11,070 Stupid, dumb Daily Planet. 23 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,237 Whoa! 24 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:13,238 Whoa! What's happening? 25 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,793 Shit. Ow, ow! Hot, hot, hot. 26 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,378 Sweet Cronkite's ghost! 27 00:01:36,137 --> 00:01:37,596 This has to be the work of... 28 00:01:37,597 --> 00:01:40,057 ...Lena? 29 00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:43,144 Huh. Guessing you two broke up then. 30 00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:58,242 No. No, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. 31 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,411 Ah, you... 32 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,247 You ruined it. You're such an idiot. 33 00:02:03,248 --> 00:02:04,581 A stupid little idiot. 34 00:02:04,582 --> 00:02:07,376 No, I... I can fix it. It was an accident. 35 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:10,629 You were an accident. Mom and Dad always say so. 36 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:15,050 I just wanted to play with Metropolis. 37 00:02:15,051 --> 00:02:17,261 It's my Metropolis, 38 00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,263 and you're not allowed near it ever again. 39 00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:22,975 Hmm. Little higher, Nigel. 40 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,519 And... There we go. 41 00:02:30,442 --> 00:02:33,527 Ooh, I have great lips. 42 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:35,279 Isn't it something, Brainy? 43 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,947 I mean, I did what you tried to do, 44 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:38,532 only, way better. 45 00:02:38,533 --> 00:02:40,617 Far more fun lording over a bottled city 46 00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,952 when the people aren't frozen. 47 00:02:41,953 --> 00:02:43,537 Please, I beg of you. Kill me. 48 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:46,206 Oh, sweetie. I wish I could. 49 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:47,875 But what if I need you? 50 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:51,837 I am not really a tech gal. That is all you. 51 00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,464 Now, where is he? 52 00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:55,299 He was supposed to be transferred 53 00:02:55,300 --> 00:02:56,884 to Stryker's Island, but the automatons 54 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,635 couldn't find him there. 55 00:02:58,636 --> 00:02:59,804 Automatons! 56 00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:03,516 Get me my brother. 57 00:03:05,643 --> 00:03:07,478 Lena actually did it. 58 00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,897 She bottled the damn city. 59 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:10,814 You never underestimate 60 00:03:10,815 --> 00:03:13,193 a middle-aged woman with a clear goal. 61 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:18,364 Ugh. Oh, no. She's rage-smashing. 62 00:03:18,365 --> 00:03:19,573 Hey, babe? 63 00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,283 Uh, just checking in. How... 64 00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:22,884 How are you feeling? 65 00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:25,662 Must. Kill. Lena! 66 00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:28,332 I... I know. I know I want that too. 67 00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:30,125 But I think you need to check yourself 68 00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:31,877 before you wreck another car. 69 00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:32,920 She murdered Frank! 70 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:35,506 Basically murdered my dad, tried to murder me, 71 00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:37,508 probably gonna murder everyone in Metropolis, 72 00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,259 and she tried to drive a wedge between us 73 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,969 and murder our relationship. 74 00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:44,682 Ah! She tried. She did not succeed, right? 75 00:03:44,683 --> 00:03:46,183 Nothing can break us up, hon. 76 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,435 I mean, can you imagine the meltdown on the Internet 77 00:03:48,436 --> 00:03:49,812 if we did? I mean... 78 00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:52,773 But that's not happening because when we have a problem, 79 00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,899 we work through it. 80 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:56,360 Just promise you will never hold a grudge against me 81 00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,695 that you keep inside for decades 82 00:03:57,696 --> 00:04:00,155 till it festers long enough that you bottle up 83 00:04:00,156 --> 00:04:01,824 an entire city for revenge. 84 00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,784 I mean, that is an incredibly specific situation. 85 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:06,662 But sure, yes. I will not do that. 86 00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:10,249 We'll stop Lena, the only way we know how. 87 00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,542 - Together. - And me too. 88 00:04:11,543 --> 00:04:14,211 Wow. I really forgot she was here. 89 00:04:14,212 --> 00:04:15,337 You know? Sure. 90 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,966 The classic trio of Harley, Ivy and Sharon. 91 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,592 - Hooray! - Oh, my God. 92 00:04:20,593 --> 00:04:22,928 Okay. We need to find a way onto the Skull Ship, 93 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,763 but Lena destroyed the only teleporter. 94 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:26,557 Can't we just, like, fly up there? 95 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:28,142 Okay, first we gotta figure out where it is. 96 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:32,938 Hmm. A ship like that must have advanced cloaking technology. 97 00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:35,274 We need someone inside to deactivate it. 98 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:36,567 How the hell did you know that? 99 00:04:36,568 --> 00:04:39,028 You never wanna listen to me. But I know things. 100 00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,946 I know youse two were in a relationship rut, 101 00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,157 and that's why you moved to Metropolis. 102 00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,491 - How did you...? - Holy shit! 103 00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:47,036 And I know, right now, I wish that guy, 24, was real, 104 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:50,247 - because 24 can do anything. - Immediately unhelpful again. 105 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,498 You're talking about Kiefer Sutherland? 106 00:04:51,499 --> 00:04:53,625 Yeah, yeah. That's who I said. 24! 107 00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:57,421 A real freak, who always knows how to get out of a jam. 108 00:04:57,422 --> 00:05:00,299 I know just the freak to call. 109 00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:04,845 Where is Lex? 110 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,430 Where is Lex? 111 00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:07,639 We need to save the city. 112 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,974 We need to get your signature 113 00:05:08,975 --> 00:05:10,642 on this internship form. 114 00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:12,519 Seriously. We're on a deadline here. 115 00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,606 Ugh. Fine. 116 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:20,194 Where is Lex? 117 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,654 I have no idea. Let me go. 118 00:05:22,655 --> 00:05:24,698 That's your signature? 119 00:05:24,699 --> 00:05:27,201 It's like two scribbly marks. 120 00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:28,952 Can't even see a W. 121 00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,788 This is a signature. 122 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:35,000 You just drew a clown face. 123 00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,627 Exactly. 124 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:39,421 It's fun, hard to replicate 125 00:05:39,422 --> 00:05:40,422 and to the point. 126 00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,467 Hey, Lois. 127 00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:44,677 Uh. Oh. 128 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:45,761 Damn it. My purse is in there. 129 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:49,807 I didn't pee myself. This is soup. 130 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,642 Whoa! 131 00:05:51,643 --> 00:05:53,060 Bruce, the automatons are destroying... 132 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,436 ...everything 133 00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,772 and everyone in their path to find Lex. 134 00:05:56,773 --> 00:05:57,690 Of course. 135 00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,150 This was about her brother this whole time. 136 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,819 Not about me. 137 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,154 She just hates all men because of Lex. 138 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:06,490 Whatever gets you through the night, Big Guy. 139 00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,659 Bruce, how do we end this? 140 00:06:08,660 --> 00:06:09,868 Our best bet is to head to Wayne Tower 141 00:06:09,869 --> 00:06:11,120 for supplies. 142 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:13,372 Oh, good. Then I can hand in this form. 143 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,915 Hey, Lois. 144 00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,668 What's your signature look like? 145 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,586 Now that's a John Hancock. 146 00:06:19,587 --> 00:06:22,382 Thanks. I took an autograph class online. 147 00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:24,174 - Mom. - I got it. 148 00:06:24,175 --> 00:06:25,592 Would you just let me get him? Come on. 149 00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:27,011 I said I got it. 150 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:30,431 Wow. So this is it. The Batcave. 151 00:06:30,432 --> 00:06:34,018 Batman's secret lair. We're just in it. 152 00:06:34,019 --> 00:06:35,894 Wow. We got a giant penny. 153 00:06:35,895 --> 00:06:37,271 Okay. 154 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:40,733 Bloodied up Robin suit that smells... 155 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:41,775 horrific. 156 00:06:41,776 --> 00:06:43,944 A dinosaur animatronic, did not see that coming. 157 00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:46,238 Wait a second. Is that the only fridge in this space? 158 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,448 - Yep. - Oh, my God. 159 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,532 Fits like three sandwiches. 160 00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,242 Look, Batman's obsessed with his weight. 161 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:52,828 He won't keep anything in here that might "tempt" him. 162 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,038 - Huh. - Who's Batman? 163 00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,789 Oh, my God, Mom. You don't know who Batman is? 164 00:06:55,790 --> 00:06:57,458 I can't keep up with all your lovers 165 00:06:57,459 --> 00:06:58,709 and their fetishes. 166 00:06:58,710 --> 00:07:00,210 It is not a fetish. 167 00:07:00,211 --> 00:07:02,546 He dresses up as a bat in a skintight suit 168 00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:03,881 and wrestles people. And you know what? 169 00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,257 Wow, you're right. It is a fetish. 170 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:09,053 Oh, shit. 171 00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,220 Shit, shit. No. 172 00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:13,182 Get away! Stop. Stop it. 173 00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,517 Harley, what are you doing calling me on my... 174 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,603 - Poison Ivy and I... - And me. Your mother. 175 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,647 ...knew Batman had the tech to contact you, Bruce. 176 00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,191 A separate person. 177 00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:23,901 Uh, right. Of course. 178 00:07:23,902 --> 00:07:27,988 He has a line to contact me because I... pay Batman. 179 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,323 Fucking corporate shill. 180 00:07:30,658 --> 00:07:33,410 Harley, Lena's willing to destroy the city 181 00:07:33,411 --> 00:07:34,453 in search of Lex. 182 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,080 We need to find him first. 183 00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,039 No, we have him. 184 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,208 All this started with a sibling rivalry, 185 00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:42,878 and the only way to end it is a sibling reconciliation. 186 00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:44,755 Hmm. This is why I'm glad my parents paid 187 00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:45,881 to make me an only child. 188 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:48,634 - Holy shit. - Hi, Sharon here. 189 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:50,135 Hate to ask, but what happens 190 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,346 once Lex is in the same room as Lena? 191 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,807 Good question? What's your plan, Harley? 192 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,433 Not sure. Lex will figure it out. 193 00:07:56,434 --> 00:07:57,643 Yeah... Hold... hold up. 194 00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,437 Your plan is for Lex to have a plan. 195 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:02,439 Anyone have a better plan? 196 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:04,817 Ah, then it's settled. 197 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,277 We're going with my plan for Lex to have a plan. 198 00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:09,613 Once Lex wakes up here, he'll know what to do. 199 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:11,949 Lex is in the Batcave? 200 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,450 You put a Bat-bag over his head 201 00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:14,827 so he can't see anything, right? 202 00:08:14,828 --> 00:08:17,162 Yes... 203 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,123 Bruce, you gotta turn off the Skull's cloaking device 204 00:08:19,124 --> 00:08:20,582 and then we'll use your rocket to get aboard. 205 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,668 Dude doesn't have a rocket. 206 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,378 I mean, the whole thing is disappointing. 207 00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,171 No, but we have something better. 208 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,423 Listen up. 209 00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:29,842 Metropolis Wayne Tower was working on a device for Batman 210 00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:32,845 called the Bat-Radia, that jams electromagnetic signals. 211 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:35,139 It can depower the Skull Ship's cloaking device. 212 00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:36,974 Is that what Sophia's been working on 213 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:39,184 in her "summer internship"? 214 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,688 Don't love you using teenagers to make weapons, 215 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,481 but at least she's learning a trade. 216 00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,733 Can you just... Can I finish? 217 00:08:45,734 --> 00:08:47,151 Sorry. My b. 218 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,819 Then the Batcomputer can activate 219 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:50,320 the Wayne satellites' tractor beams 220 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,698 to pull the Skull Ship down to Earth's atmosphere. 221 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,907 I just have to circle back. 222 00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,660 You keep the Bat-Radia clipped to your belt? 223 00:08:56,661 --> 00:08:58,620 What, you got your inhaler on there, too? 224 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,539 Ignoring that. And then Harley, Ivy, and Lex 225 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:02,416 can board the Batplane to reach the Skull Ship. 226 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:05,002 Hey, actually, I didn't love that inhaler joke. 227 00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:06,086 How about... 228 00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:08,088 What, are you wearing tube socks and sandals too? 229 00:09:08,089 --> 00:09:10,883 Lois. Fantastic punch up. 230 00:09:10,884 --> 00:09:12,509 Thanks. Means a lot coming from you. 231 00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:15,888 - Honestly. - Ugh, can you please... 232 00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,640 Uh, Harls? Yoo... Yoo-hoo. He's awake. 233 00:09:18,641 --> 00:09:19,767 Uh, let me call you back, Bruce. 234 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:21,268 I have to, uh... pee. 235 00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,936 Don't wanna get a UTI. 236 00:09:22,937 --> 00:09:25,522 So this is the famed Batcave. 237 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,399 I have a penny twice that size, and... 238 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:31,320 - Wait. Is that the only fridge? - Yes. What is up with that? 239 00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:32,529 You can only fit, like, what? 240 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:33,864 - Three sandwiches? - Three sandwiches. 241 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:36,533 - That's what I said. - Hey! we need to focus. 242 00:09:36,534 --> 00:09:37,868 Lex, take a look at Metropolis. 243 00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,749 Hold up. This is what my baby sister 244 00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:45,376 has done to my city? 245 00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,169 Yes, and you've got to stop her. 246 00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,712 No, she's dead to me. 247 00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,881 After all, who do you think sent me to prison? 248 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,508 - Lois. - ...was her pawn. 249 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:56,637 Lena leaked the documents. Lois only published the expose. 250 00:09:56,638 --> 00:09:58,806 Holy shit. Well, that puts a real asterisk 251 00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,099 on her beloved Pulitzer. 252 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,769 Why do you need me? Shouldn't Superman stop this? 253 00:10:03,770 --> 00:10:06,397 I kinda convinced him to go on sabbatical. 254 00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:11,568 Hi, it's me, Lena, your new ruler. 255 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:13,404 Isn't this city so much more fab 256 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,989 now that you're all in a little tiny bottle? 257 00:10:15,990 --> 00:10:17,658 Anyways... 258 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:20,577 I'm looking for my brother, but he's nowhere to be found. 259 00:10:20,578 --> 00:10:23,664 And if I can't find him, I'll be so disappointed, 260 00:10:23,665 --> 00:10:26,917 and I get antsy when I'm disappointed. 261 00:10:29,462 --> 00:10:31,881 Okay, toodle-oo for now. 262 00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,633 Get me in a room with my baby sister. 263 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:38,095 I hate Lena, but I love my city more. 264 00:10:38,096 --> 00:10:40,806 I mean, who do you think of when you think of Metropolis? 265 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,558 - Superman? - Okay, but then who? 266 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,436 Um, maybe Lois, or Jimmy? 267 00:10:45,437 --> 00:10:47,021 - Jimmy, get real. - Oh, wait, wait. 268 00:10:47,022 --> 00:10:48,856 What's the guy's name with the cape? 269 00:10:48,857 --> 00:10:50,607 - Cal Something. - Kal-El? 270 00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,443 That's Superman, Mom. 271 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,570 Do you want my help or not? 272 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,906 You said you'd call back. 273 00:10:57,907 --> 00:11:00,242 Sorry. Turns out I also had to... shit. 274 00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,952 We're running out of time. 275 00:11:01,953 --> 00:11:03,162 People are turning on each other. 276 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,289 There's a bunch of... I don't know 277 00:11:05,290 --> 00:11:06,206 what you'd call them. 278 00:11:06,207 --> 00:11:08,917 Uh, bottle deniers? 279 00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:10,461 Well, that's what happens when you eliminate 280 00:11:10,462 --> 00:11:12,296 quality journalism. 281 00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,465 We gotta get on the ship pronto. 282 00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:15,591 First we have to make a stop. 283 00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:16,884 Oh, I hope it's to grab food. 284 00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:18,844 'Cause I ate those three fridge sandwiches, 285 00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,346 - and I'm still starving. - Oh, my God, Mom! 286 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,806 - Sweet shit, Sharon. - Who is she again? 287 00:11:29,647 --> 00:11:31,315 The Bat-Radia's Bat-activated. 288 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,526 Man, that sounded so dorky. 289 00:11:34,527 --> 00:11:35,527 Yeah. 290 00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:38,364 You're lucky Batman didn't hear you say that. 291 00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:51,960 Oh. 292 00:11:51,961 --> 00:11:54,546 What in the whole wide world of fuck? 293 00:11:57,092 --> 00:11:58,842 Monitor says the Skull's reached 294 00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:01,053 Earth's thermosphere. So we should be good. 295 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,181 See, Harley. You wasted all that time getting PhDs, 296 00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:06,850 when you could've been the first female pilot. 297 00:12:06,851 --> 00:12:09,144 Mom there are a ton of female pilots. 298 00:12:09,145 --> 00:12:11,105 Huh, not in any airline I fly. 299 00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:13,148 Oh, my God, Mom. You can't say stuff like that. 300 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,024 What? 301 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,529 Well... Lex. 302 00:12:18,530 --> 00:12:22,199 - Haven't seen you in a bit. - No, no. I... I mean, yeah. 303 00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,201 - Yep. - Yep, yep, yep. 304 00:12:24,202 --> 00:12:26,161 So, um... 305 00:12:26,162 --> 00:12:28,997 What, uh, pray tell, is in the box? 306 00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:32,376 Well, uh, the box. 307 00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:34,545 The ultimate weapon to take down Lena. 308 00:12:34,546 --> 00:12:38,007 Cool. Cool. Is it, like, a grenade or laser... 309 00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:40,969 - Oh, you'll see. - Okay. 310 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:46,515 Um, your hair. It's redder than usual. 311 00:12:46,516 --> 00:12:48,434 Oh, my God, that's so funny. No one noticed. 312 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,602 You know, people think that bald men 313 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,645 don't appreciate hair, 314 00:12:51,646 --> 00:12:54,064 but it's all we ever think about. 315 00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:03,991 Listen, you stay here. 316 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:05,743 I'm not losing both my parents this week. 317 00:13:05,744 --> 00:13:07,077 Okay. 318 00:13:07,078 --> 00:13:09,455 Hey, will you see if they have any decaf green tea? 319 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,706 Mom, mom, mom! 320 00:13:10,707 --> 00:13:13,877 Okay, it could be caffeinated, sheesh. 321 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,879 What the fu... Ugh. 322 00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:17,796 It's you two. 323 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:19,048 Shouldn't you be dead? 324 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:21,717 Ugh. Just grab your stupid plant 325 00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:22,843 and leave me alone. 326 00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,387 Her name is Frankette, and we'll take her 327 00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,347 right after you're dead. 328 00:13:26,348 --> 00:13:28,557 It's time to stop this shit, Lena. 329 00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:31,268 Stop? Stop. 330 00:13:31,269 --> 00:13:34,021 Nothing can stop me, honey. 331 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:43,406 Hello, little baby sister. 332 00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,453 Okay. I've waited long enough for someone 333 00:13:49,454 --> 00:13:50,871 to be the voice of reason, 334 00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:53,749 but clearly I've got to step the fuck up. 335 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,793 Lois, call Superman. 336 00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:57,169 What? You don't trust Harley? 337 00:13:57,170 --> 00:14:00,297 Oh. Oh, yeah. I'm sure her gymnastics skills 338 00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:02,841 and her short shorts will save us all. 339 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:03,967 Come on! 340 00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:06,512 I think our odds will be significantly up 341 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:09,181 if we had a guy with the powers of a God. 342 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,725 Wouldn't you rather have, you know, maybe, 343 00:14:11,726 --> 00:14:13,477 Batman come save us? 344 00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:14,311 Batman? 345 00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:15,979 The hell is Batman gonna do in space? 346 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:17,981 Take down a rocket with a Batarang? 347 00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:19,525 Who's even seen Batman lately? 348 00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,610 Maybe he's on a personal quest to cultivate balance 349 00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,987 with a life and happiness outside his career for once. 350 00:14:23,988 --> 00:14:26,532 Lois! Call your boyfriend. 351 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:29,868 Oh! Oh, you're saying you want little old Lois 352 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,537 to get her big, strong boyfriend 353 00:14:31,538 --> 00:14:32,538 to save us all? 354 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,248 Jesus Christ. 355 00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:35,165 Yes! 356 00:14:35,166 --> 00:14:37,001 Well, I don't know where he is, okay? 357 00:14:37,002 --> 00:14:39,628 When he went on sabbatical, so did we. 358 00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:43,007 I was just so sick of always needing him. 359 00:14:43,008 --> 00:14:44,758 He left me this watch I can press 360 00:14:44,759 --> 00:14:46,135 when I'm ready to talk. 361 00:14:46,136 --> 00:14:47,386 It sends out a signal that'll have him here in seconds. 362 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:49,972 But, you know, I don't think I'm quite there yet. 363 00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:52,016 You asshole! I said I wasn't there yet. 364 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,522 Huh. He, uh, should've been here by now. 365 00:14:58,523 --> 00:14:59,440 Hmm. 366 00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,567 My communicator isn't working either. 367 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:02,693 Okay, when this is all over, 368 00:15:02,694 --> 00:15:05,529 I'm seeing Clock King about upping my watch game. 369 00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,906 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're screwed. 370 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,241 How am I gonna get to Superman? 371 00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:12,870 A minute ago, you said you didn't want to need him. 372 00:15:12,871 --> 00:15:14,038 That was when I knew I could get him. 373 00:15:14,039 --> 00:15:15,539 Now that I can't get him, I need him. 374 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:18,709 Ugh, you and your messy relationships. 375 00:15:18,710 --> 00:15:21,378 Me and my SO, we're like this. 376 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,380 - Shut the fuck up, Joker. - Jesus. 377 00:15:23,381 --> 00:15:25,466 Bruce, you must have something that would work. 378 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:27,509 Let's go into your Tower, and... and see what you got. 379 00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,011 Uh-oh. 380 00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,222 Get down! 381 00:15:33,475 --> 00:15:35,351 So I might have left out that there is this glitch 382 00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:37,561 with the Bat-Radia where it might possibly 383 00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,480 overpower all electronics in the radius 384 00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,564 - and blow them out. - What? 385 00:15:40,565 --> 00:15:42,691 That's a pretty damning glitch, Bruce. 386 00:15:42,692 --> 00:15:43,525 Don't blame me. 387 00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,235 Blame the 16-year-old who made it. 388 00:15:45,236 --> 00:15:47,154 Hey, that's my daughter. 389 00:15:47,155 --> 00:15:49,239 We've lost all communication in Metropolis. 390 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:50,574 We're in the Dark Ages. 391 00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,993 The Dark Ages... 392 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,704 I know exactly where we have to go. 393 00:15:57,916 --> 00:15:59,500 I've been looking for you. 394 00:15:59,501 --> 00:16:02,461 Uh, what do you think? Pretty impressive, huh? 395 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,339 Mmm-hmm. It looks just like it. 396 00:16:05,340 --> 00:16:06,591 Like what? 397 00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:08,593 This. 398 00:16:10,053 --> 00:16:11,220 The hell is that? 399 00:16:11,221 --> 00:16:13,722 That's the ultimate weapon to take Lena down? 400 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,182 A fucking model train? 401 00:16:15,183 --> 00:16:16,225 - Right? - Excellent. 402 00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:18,352 You don't want to rule Metropolis. 403 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:21,355 What you want is to play with my toys, 404 00:16:21,356 --> 00:16:23,774 just like you were never allowed to do 405 00:16:23,775 --> 00:16:25,151 when we were kids. 406 00:16:38,915 --> 00:16:41,625 You think that's what it's about? 407 00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:43,711 I don't wanna play with your toys. 408 00:16:43,712 --> 00:16:48,590 I want to destroy them. Like you always destroyed me, 409 00:16:48,591 --> 00:16:49,758 making me feel lesser. 410 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:52,136 An afterthought in the great name of Luthors 411 00:16:52,137 --> 00:16:54,763 when I should've been the only thought. 412 00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,934 You've always lorded over me Lex. 413 00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:02,646 Time for me to lord over you. 414 00:17:02,647 --> 00:17:04,398 Lena, what are you doing? 415 00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:05,983 - Calm down. Lena. - Oh, shit, shit, shit. 416 00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,192 Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. 417 00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:08,473 - Oh, fuck! - Lena, please. 418 00:17:11,823 --> 00:17:13,032 So what happens next? 419 00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:14,366 Uh, you mean with you two? 420 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:18,370 No. Well, yes, but you shrink Lex and lord over him. 421 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:20,080 - Then what? - Well... 422 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,999 Then, I'm a God. 423 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,335 'Cause that worked out for this guy over here, huh? 424 00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,669 - I... - Fucking a bunch... 425 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:27,046 - of dead monkey bones. - ...Want. To. Die. 426 00:17:27,047 --> 00:17:28,714 Ugh. 427 00:17:32,135 --> 00:17:34,053 Where is Lex? 428 00:17:35,513 --> 00:17:38,682 Perchance instead of Lex, I offer you a monologue. 429 00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:41,518 Now is the winter of our discontent... 430 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,146 What if I gave up Bane? 431 00:17:44,147 --> 00:17:45,565 You are a Judas! 432 00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:53,238 Ow! Shit. That hurt. 433 00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,823 You guys just do that normally? 434 00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:58,702 Lois! How dare you step foot in here after you disgraced 435 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,871 these hallowed halls by quitting? 436 00:18:00,872 --> 00:18:02,164 Morse code machines. 437 00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:05,751 I used them once when I wanted to send, um, certain messages 438 00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,211 to, um, to Superman. 439 00:18:07,212 --> 00:18:10,047 - On company time? - Nobody's talking to you, man. 440 00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:11,090 The tech's so ancient, 441 00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:12,299 the blast shouldn't have destroyed it, 442 00:18:12,300 --> 00:18:13,467 and the ship won't detect it. 443 00:18:13,468 --> 00:18:15,469 But Superman could hear the transmissions. 444 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,472 That is some old-school sexting. 445 00:18:18,473 --> 00:18:20,724 - Big ups. - Respect, Miss Lane. 446 00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:22,976 I'll take this in the other room. 447 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:25,813 Dot, dot, dash. 448 00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:29,400 See, Lena? What's the point in being a God 449 00:18:29,401 --> 00:18:31,568 if you have no one to share it with? 450 00:18:31,569 --> 00:18:34,780 Wait, you want me to share with this asshole 451 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,740 who wouldn't even share his toys with me? 452 00:18:36,741 --> 00:18:38,367 Oh, get over yourself. 453 00:18:38,368 --> 00:18:40,661 You know how kids are who go bald at seven. 454 00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:43,205 Lex, why didn't you want to share with Lena? 455 00:18:43,206 --> 00:18:44,707 Ooh, you're so good, babe. 456 00:18:44,708 --> 00:18:48,252 Oh, please. My one rule was she couldn't touch my trains. 457 00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:50,629 Lex, why didn't you wanna share with Lena? 458 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,715 This is asinine. I'm not gonna... 459 00:18:52,716 --> 00:18:54,299 Why didn't you wanna share with Lena? 460 00:18:54,300 --> 00:18:56,552 People liked her, okay? 461 00:18:56,553 --> 00:19:00,389 They were drawn to you, your charm, your sense of ease. 462 00:19:00,390 --> 00:19:03,100 I never had that. I had to make people respect me. 463 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:06,270 But you... People just liked you. 464 00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:07,604 So I had to drag you down. 465 00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:11,275 Lena, how does it feel hearing your brother say that? 466 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:13,444 Uh, it... It makes me sad. 467 00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:15,404 - Holy shit! - Why? 468 00:19:15,405 --> 00:19:18,866 Because we... We just wasted so much time. 469 00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,451 I mean, who knows what we could have done 470 00:19:20,452 --> 00:19:22,202 if... if we were a team. 471 00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:26,081 We'd have a lot more than just Metropolis. 472 00:19:28,126 --> 00:19:31,128 Wow, we are a very good therapist. 473 00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,881 Fuck Metropolis. Harley's right. 474 00:19:33,882 --> 00:19:34,965 Exactly. 475 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:37,634 - Lex, we should work together. - Say what now? 476 00:19:37,635 --> 00:19:40,095 To take over the fucking universe. 477 00:19:40,096 --> 00:19:41,013 Fuck. 478 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,097 Huh? 479 00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:45,434 We, uh, might be too good of a therapist. 480 00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:48,354 Uh, okay. Let's maybe circle back to... 481 00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:51,648 It's your party, sis. 482 00:19:51,649 --> 00:19:52,900 What would you like to do with them? 483 00:19:52,901 --> 00:19:54,360 I mean, taking over the universe is 484 00:19:54,361 --> 00:19:56,236 such a big idea. I just thought, maybe, 485 00:19:56,237 --> 00:19:57,571 we would start small. 486 00:19:57,572 --> 00:20:00,532 Clever turn of phrase. 487 00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,409 Wherever did you learn to speak like that? 488 00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:04,745 I suppose I went fishing in the deep end 489 00:20:04,746 --> 00:20:06,121 of the Luthor gene pool. 490 00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:09,083 Can you believe they're talking like this? 491 00:20:09,084 --> 00:20:10,292 It's weird, right? 492 00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,919 Like, do you think they're gonna, like, fuck? 493 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,880 - Why don't you do the honors? - I have a better idea. 494 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:16,841 Let's do it together. 495 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,721 Hey, youse got a can in this joint? 496 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,932 If I don't take a piss soon I'm gonna get a UTI. 497 00:20:31,690 --> 00:20:34,149 Misery needs company. 498 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:35,192 You asshole! 499 00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,361 You psychotic monster! 500 00:20:37,362 --> 00:20:40,072 Uh, I just pissed on myself. 501 00:20:40,073 --> 00:20:41,949 Nothing left to do but wait. 502 00:20:41,950 --> 00:20:44,369 Shouldn't be long, though. 503 00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,037 You want some? 504 00:20:47,038 --> 00:20:49,832 Mmm. A moment on the lips, forever on the hips. 505 00:20:49,833 --> 00:20:52,543 You know, men can have eating disorders, too. 506 00:20:52,544 --> 00:20:54,837 It's a real issue in the superhero community. 507 00:20:54,838 --> 00:20:56,714 I was working on an article about it 508 00:20:56,715 --> 00:20:58,966 before Perry threw it out and changed the paper. 509 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,051 Then maybe it's time to change the paper again 510 00:21:01,052 --> 00:21:03,929 by making you editor-in-chief of the Daily Planet. 511 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:06,640 - If that's what you want. - Really? How would you do that? 512 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:07,933 It's funny. I just remembered 513 00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:09,643 I bought this newspaper a few years ago. 514 00:21:09,644 --> 00:21:12,396 - The whole paper? - It's like a reflex with me. 515 00:21:12,397 --> 00:21:13,564 Oh, God. We're gonna die in here. 516 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:15,190 I can't die in here. 517 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,608 Eh, there are worse ways to go. 518 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,986 Really, Sharon? Than starving to death, 519 00:21:18,987 --> 00:21:22,239 shrunk inside a bottle, on a spaceship? Pray tell. 520 00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:25,576 Look on the bright side. At least it's a fun obituary. 521 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,497 You started all this, snap out of it 522 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,958 - and figure out how to save us. - Hmm? 523 00:21:35,712 --> 00:21:37,921 - Harley. - This is all my fault. 524 00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,590 I'm the one who wanted us 525 00:21:39,591 --> 00:21:42,301 to move to Metropolis, and if we hadn't, 526 00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:44,261 Lena would've... Wouldn't have succeeded, 527 00:21:44,262 --> 00:21:46,096 and we'd still be eating food in bed 528 00:21:46,097 --> 00:21:47,765 back in Gotham. 529 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:48,932 No, sweetie. 530 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:51,602 Lena was gonna do this with or without you. 531 00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,854 But she's not gonna get away with it, right? 532 00:21:53,855 --> 00:21:54,938 This isn't over yet. 533 00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:58,109 I just wanted things to be perfect. 534 00:22:01,112 --> 00:22:03,406 Me too. 535 00:22:11,331 --> 00:22:12,707 I need you.