1 00:00:30,110 --> 00:00:31,430 All right, here we go. 2 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,290 Well? The accountant. 3 00:00:43,350 --> 00:00:44,910 Excuse me, John, I didn't quite hear you. 4 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,270 The accountant. 5 00:00:46,390 --> 00:00:47,850 The accountant who was doing your books. 6 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,550 That's the third accountant in a month. 7 00:00:51,930 --> 00:00:53,890 Who'd have thought we were particularly so dangerous? 8 00:01:46,820 --> 00:01:51,080 We were having a blinding year. We sold enough lager to flood the Thames 9 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:52,080 Barrier. 10 00:01:53,720 --> 00:01:58,860 We was in and out of that bank like the tide at Margate. 11 00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:05,000 In the kitchen, Moon had gone all ethnic again, but even his tong and casserole 12 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000 was doing a roaring. 13 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,919 Life was, what is it when everything's as good as it can get? 14 00:02:10,900 --> 00:02:12,400 Sweet. That's it. 15 00:02:12,940 --> 00:02:14,000 Life was sweet. 16 00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,420 And to cap it all, we had a very peculiar offer from Moira. 17 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,160 You're offering us £50 ,000? 18 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:27,080 Yes. And we don't have to do jack shit to get it? 19 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:30,940 That's what I like about you boys. Sharp on the uptake. 20 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,420 This might sound like a stupid question, Moira, but... It's not rocket science, 21 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,640 Jamie. I would have thought it was obvious what was going down here. 22 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:43,820 I... I have a party who wishes to make an investment in Lapland. 23 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,780 Ah, Lapland. That palace of dreams. 24 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:22,400 That he or she does not wish to be identified. 25 00:03:22,880 --> 00:03:25,440 Haven't you boys ever heard of Trojan horse trading? 26 00:03:27,900 --> 00:03:28,900 Anonymous investors? 27 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,580 Jumping out the wooden horse when the damage is done. 28 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:36,300 You being the Trojan horse. 29 00:03:37,020 --> 00:03:38,920 Oh, forget it. I'll find somebody else. 30 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,280 Hold up, Moira. 31 00:03:40,740 --> 00:03:42,620 Can we have a little time to think about it? No. 32 00:03:44,940 --> 00:03:46,280 OK, we'll do it. 33 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,620 I'll bring the money round tomorrow. 34 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:51,800 She did and all. 35 00:03:51,940 --> 00:03:55,360 And to show her appreciation, she even threw in the catering contract on the 36 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:56,360 cabbie's ball. 37 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:04,160 Now, that was real clark. 38 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:09,960 People off the telly, politicians, a radio DJ, even a minor royal was spotted 39 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,100 hanging around a beer tin. 40 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:18,660 And then there was the real faithful, Miami's general, Greasy John. 41 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,060 If you needed a motor, he'd sort you out. You'd have the car of your dreams 42 00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,420 your doorstep within the hour. 43 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:25,640 Agus Moss. 44 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,720 Now that geezer's got more blags to his name than any other face in town. 45 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,400 Rainham Ray. 46 00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:33,300 Now, he's a different kettle of fish. 47 00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,240 This geezer likes getting his fingers dirty. He knows every inch of the pool 48 00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,660 industry. Literally. 49 00:04:42,260 --> 00:04:45,340 As for Rudolph, he does the dodgy boo scam. 50 00:04:45,620 --> 00:04:48,040 Word is, he runs most of it into his gut. 51 00:04:48,260 --> 00:04:51,480 Four of the most vicious bastards that had ever been guests of Her Majesty. 52 00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:54,100 Gold -plated, genuine hoods. 53 00:04:54,340 --> 00:04:56,040 Not forgetting the top gun himself. 54 00:04:57,560 --> 00:04:58,560 Miami Vice. 55 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:00,140 The top of the food chain. 56 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:05,180 And then there was Terry Gardner. 57 00:05:06,380 --> 00:05:11,780 Now, rumour had it that Terry was more than Miami's enforcer. Word was, he had 58 00:05:11,780 --> 00:05:12,780 his eye on the pro. 59 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,860 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the annual charity ball for kids. 60 00:05:22,220 --> 00:05:26,020 I'd like you to put your hands together for our very special guest. 61 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,220 A man that needs no introduction. 62 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,260 I love this bloke. 63 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:31,540 Mr Miami! 64 00:05:54,700 --> 00:05:58,580 Because this is an event, as you know, dear to my heart. 65 00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:01,420 You've seen my tenure. 66 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,760 Look, 67 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:06,780 I'm rushed off my feet here. Where's Moon? 68 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000 No idea. 69 00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,660 What do you think I'm doing, sharpening a pencil? 70 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,320 Oh, my God. 71 00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:23,940 And this year, you generous people have raised a record amount. 72 00:06:33,050 --> 00:06:35,870 So a truly humanitarian body of men. 73 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:46,950 Thanks for all this murder on the platter. 74 00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:48,730 Let's talk as we walk, mate. 75 00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:50,330 Desperate for an eyelash. 76 00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:07,990 in Lapland. 77 00:07:08,670 --> 00:07:09,670 I like it. 78 00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:11,890 Not reindeer, but I like it. 79 00:07:15,390 --> 00:07:16,590 That's what I like about you, Terry. 80 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:18,390 Always ready with a joke. 81 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:19,630 The verbals. 82 00:07:20,850 --> 00:07:21,850 Sorry, mate. 83 00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:23,790 What's the problem? 84 00:07:24,870 --> 00:07:26,230 I bought this gap from my old man. 85 00:07:27,130 --> 00:07:29,730 He used to be acquainted with the old boy who runs it. What's her name again? 86 00:07:31,110 --> 00:07:32,910 Moira. Silly name for a tarp. 87 00:07:33,460 --> 00:07:36,300 Anyway, the old man used to have a soft spot for this moira when she was on the 88 00:07:36,300 --> 00:07:37,560 street corners hawking them mutton. 89 00:07:38,660 --> 00:07:40,860 Used to be a hard spot, but age takes its toll. 90 00:07:42,020 --> 00:07:45,420 So, after birthday, I buys him the warrant. 91 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:54,020 Only I let the old scrubber keep 10%. I recently made her an offer for her share 92 00:07:54,020 --> 00:07:55,020 of the business. 93 00:07:55,200 --> 00:07:56,200 And? 94 00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,560 I find myself in a bidding war with a shagged -out old flapper. 95 00:08:06,060 --> 00:08:07,320 Who's pulling my plonker? 96 00:08:07,560 --> 00:08:09,580 Some fuckwits been bidding against me. 97 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:17,480 And the only fucker who can tell us who it was is at the bottom of the Grand 98 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:18,480 Union Canal, right? 99 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:20,620 No flies on you, Terry. 100 00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:25,700 Tell those I want to meet you after this Jim's tea party's over. 101 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:40,400 That guy called my mum a scrubber. 102 00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:50,680 Where have you been? Never mind that. 103 00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,120 We've got a major fucking problem. 104 00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:55,420 It makes sense, doesn't it? 105 00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,280 He wants outright control. 106 00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,560 And we're the little dicky birds who're stopping him, can't we? 107 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:01,220 We've got to dismantle the situation. 108 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:02,720 What are you talking about, you wuss? 109 00:09:02,940 --> 00:09:04,260 Have you been following any of this? 110 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,220 We signed a contract legal, didn't we? 111 00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:08,640 Bacon? Let me make this easy for you. 112 00:09:09,140 --> 00:09:11,360 Miami is a murderous psycho with a criminal empire. 113 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:13,540 You are abundantly ponced with a penknife. 114 00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:17,180 The way I see it, Moira's not going to flash that paper at Miami until she has 115 00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:20,140 to. We give her her 50 long ones and get the contract back. 116 00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:21,720 Agreed? 117 00:09:22,060 --> 00:09:23,300 I'll tell you what I think. 118 00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,420 We've got a mouse in the pantry. 119 00:09:27,220 --> 00:09:30,380 Another accountant goes for a midnight dip in a Grand Union. 120 00:09:30,700 --> 00:09:34,540 Miami! Excuse me, Agus, I'm not flapping my gums here for dental exercise. I'm 121 00:09:34,540 --> 00:09:35,540 trying to make a point. 122 00:09:35,910 --> 00:09:37,790 So you can stop fucking about with the matches. 123 00:09:39,950 --> 00:09:41,130 You're not impressed with me, son? 124 00:09:42,390 --> 00:09:44,670 Three accounts go belly up in a matter of weeks. 125 00:09:44,890 --> 00:09:48,590 It don't take Miss fucking Marple to copy something to do with the figures. 126 00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:53,910 So, I've been looking at the books. Or rather, yours, yours and yours. 127 00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:58,250 And I'm here to tell you your sums ain't adding up. 128 00:09:59,650 --> 00:10:02,450 A remortgage on the car yard, your 60 grand light. 129 00:10:04,170 --> 00:10:07,130 The Bondi Warehouse you've done over in May, it's nowhere in the figures. 130 00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:09,270 Page 17. 131 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:15,790 Seven grand and seven grand ain't 13 grand. Miami Ice. Now, there are two 132 00:10:15,790 --> 00:10:16,810 possibilities. 133 00:10:19,070 --> 00:10:22,490 Either one or more of you has been pissing in the swimming pool, which is 134 00:10:22,490 --> 00:10:25,890 unlikely, given you know what I do, or... 135 00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:31,660 Some little fucking squirrel has been nicking conkers and fiddling the books 136 00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:32,760 order to hide his trail. 137 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:38,320 And when I find out who that is, he'll wish his dad had had a wank on the night 138 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,320 he was conceived. 139 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:41,640 Clear? 140 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:46,980 Get the car. 141 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:00,850 Moira takes her cash back and we dug out the old deal, right? 142 00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:02,530 There's nothing else we can do. 143 00:11:03,770 --> 00:11:05,070 Fucking death wish deal. 144 00:11:10,190 --> 00:11:14,110 I don't feel so well. 145 00:11:20,550 --> 00:11:21,550 Ernie. 146 00:11:22,330 --> 00:11:24,930 Lovely piece you've got to do with. You wouldn't pull it sitting here. 147 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,040 I could wipe mess with my wallpaper if it went off. 148 00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:35,920 What, um... What can we do for you, Miami? 149 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,040 See that? 150 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:50,360 Harry Belafonte, Caesar's Palace, Las Vegas. One of the truly great talents of 151 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,360 our age. 152 00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:52,660 And it's signed, see? 153 00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:55,300 And down here it says, knock them dead tonight, Harry. 154 00:11:55,760 --> 00:11:57,720 Your old pal, Frankie. 155 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:03,740 So it's signed not only by Harry Belafonte himself, but by the legendary 156 00:12:03,740 --> 00:12:04,740 Sinatra. 157 00:12:06,200 --> 00:12:07,940 Any idea how much that cost me? 158 00:12:11,620 --> 00:12:12,620 Go on, ask me. 159 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:16,900 How much it cost you? None of your fucking business, son. 160 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:19,200 But I do know this. 161 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:22,360 I thought I was the most expensive monarchist in the world. 162 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:24,820 But I saw that. 163 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,580 50 ,000 for four nights nobody's ever heard of. 164 00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:37,540 I mean, what is it with you lads? Every time I turn around, there you are, 165 00:12:37,580 --> 00:12:40,100 crawling out the woodwork like some kind of carpet beetle. 166 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:43,280 You tired of living or something? Because if you are, you've come to the 167 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,280 place. 168 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,680 It was only business. 169 00:12:50,580 --> 00:12:51,580 What? 170 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,060 The lady came round, offered us a load of money for doing fuck all. 171 00:12:56,680 --> 00:12:58,280 He'd have been criminal to turn her down. 172 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:02,460 All right. 173 00:13:03,380 --> 00:13:04,380 Let's do business. 174 00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,440 I want 20 grand by tomorrow. 175 00:13:11,980 --> 00:13:12,980 Bitch. 176 00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:20,240 Not so simple, since we used all our cash on another little investment. 177 00:13:58,949 --> 00:13:59,949 Cash flow? 178 00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:02,790 Let's just say there's a major blockage in the system, all right? 179 00:14:07,710 --> 00:14:09,370 You want to give Miami... 180 00:14:09,690 --> 00:14:11,890 Two ton 50, covered in shit. 181 00:14:12,150 --> 00:14:13,150 Well, that was show moves, boss. 182 00:14:13,390 --> 00:14:14,390 It's what I've got left. 183 00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:17,790 I need a smack in the mouth. 184 00:14:19,130 --> 00:14:21,950 Alone is what it comes down to. We're all cleaned out. 185 00:14:22,170 --> 00:14:23,630 Look. What about your uncle? 186 00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:26,270 Uncle John? 187 00:14:28,310 --> 00:14:30,590 Yeah. That's a great idea. 188 00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,050 Jamie. He always promised. Jamie. 189 00:14:33,850 --> 00:14:35,810 He's in Australia, isn't he? 190 00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:41,920 I mean Uncle Keith. 191 00:14:48,700 --> 00:14:49,700 OK. 192 00:14:51,180 --> 00:14:52,380 I'm desperate, right? 193 00:15:02,660 --> 00:15:05,260 Why have you landed yourself in this shit again? 194 00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:10,540 You always did have arsehole written through you like a fucking stick of 195 00:15:12,320 --> 00:15:14,140 We have to look out for the family, don't we? 196 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,400 Do what? 197 00:15:15,940 --> 00:15:16,940 Forget it. 198 00:15:17,140 --> 00:15:19,760 I also know who you owe this money to. 199 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,340 My own fucking wife. 200 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,800 Uncle Keith. 201 00:15:36,430 --> 00:15:38,350 I've always hated you worse than death. 202 00:15:38,650 --> 00:15:40,610 You either help me out or you fuck off. 203 00:15:40,850 --> 00:15:45,670 Don't piss off the pier till you know which way the fucking wind's blowing. 204 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:50,110 I'm going to lend you some money. 205 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:52,450 Of course. 206 00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,450 You've got to do something for me. 207 00:15:55,670 --> 00:15:59,270 Which if you fuck up, your life's not worth living. 208 00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:02,190 Still interested? 209 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:08,840 Here he comes. 210 00:16:14,100 --> 00:16:15,400 Well, you want me to count them separate? 211 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:17,720 So you know the blame if it's short. 212 00:16:17,940 --> 00:16:18,940 It's all there. 213 00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:26,100 Here. You know what you've got down there? What? 214 00:16:26,500 --> 00:16:29,780 Dockett and Clark Imperial Lead Feedpipe Blummy Fern. 215 00:16:29,980 --> 00:16:30,979 Well, can you fix it? 216 00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:34,860 Trouble is, someone's joined it to a copper modern metric. 217 00:16:35,630 --> 00:16:38,990 Does that mean you can't fix it? I mean, that is like painting a tash on the 218 00:16:38,990 --> 00:16:39,990 Mona Lisa. 219 00:16:40,030 --> 00:16:41,230 Is there to fix the drains? 220 00:16:42,130 --> 00:16:43,450 Well, I'm glad someone is. 221 00:16:47,350 --> 00:16:48,490 Till the next time. 222 00:16:50,190 --> 00:16:54,810 Bad news is, I'll have to have your water off for at least an hour. Just do 223 00:16:56,570 --> 00:16:57,570 Jamie. 224 00:16:59,050 --> 00:17:00,050 Morning. 225 00:17:00,690 --> 00:17:01,690 Well? 226 00:17:02,130 --> 00:17:03,130 Uncle Keith. 227 00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:04,750 He did make us a proposition. 228 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:06,980 What have we got to do for him? 229 00:17:07,339 --> 00:17:09,180 Put someone up in a spare room for a few nights. 230 00:17:10,319 --> 00:17:11,319 What's the story? 231 00:17:11,819 --> 00:17:15,260 It's an expat mate of Uncle Keith's from the Costa. Goes by the name of Two 232 00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:16,260 Sips. And? 233 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:17,440 It's an old face. 234 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,200 A face Miami will not want to see again. 235 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,599 Uncle Keith wants him watched like an orc for a few days, makes sure he 236 00:17:24,599 --> 00:17:25,740 wander into anywhere he ain't welcome. 237 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:27,859 What's he back here for, anyway? 238 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:29,540 That I do not know. 239 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:31,240 Let's be honest here. 240 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:34,620 If he's a friend of Uncle Keith's, he's about as welcome as a dose of a clap. 241 00:17:35,310 --> 00:17:36,310 When do you arrive? 242 00:17:36,630 --> 00:17:38,310 Tonight? Sit your stance, dude. 243 00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:40,310 It's not that simple, Lee. 244 00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:44,309 That's it, Lee. 245 00:17:44,310 --> 00:17:45,069 Go on. 246 00:17:45,070 --> 00:17:46,049 You got it. 247 00:17:46,050 --> 00:17:49,290 I got it, I got it, I got it. That's it, mate. That's it. I got it, I got it, I 248 00:17:49,290 --> 00:17:50,290 got it. 249 00:17:51,830 --> 00:17:52,830 Grab on. 250 00:17:54,770 --> 00:17:56,390 Bring that in on the slack. 251 00:17:59,970 --> 00:18:00,839 What did he say? 252 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:04,780 Run that in on the ebb tide and bring it alongside on the slack. 253 00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:07,460 Don't give us that bollocks, just chuck us the rope. 254 00:18:15,540 --> 00:18:17,280 Can't find your sea legs, lads. 255 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:24,980 Listen, pupwash, I'm cold, wet, and I've just ruined a pair of kinsos with more 256 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:25,879 than this boat. 257 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,140 I don't need your salty sea dog banter. 258 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,480 So if you know what's good for you, you'll buy it. 259 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,360 Where is he? 260 00:18:33,120 --> 00:18:34,120 Down below. 261 00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:38,740 Take it. 262 00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:51,220 Been like that since Bilbo. 263 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,900 So how long have we got to play nursemaid to this old status quo 264 00:18:56,430 --> 00:18:58,230 And two -uncle Keith says it's time to go home. 265 00:18:59,810 --> 00:19:02,230 I ain't keen on hanging out with anyone who's in Miami's bad books, you know 266 00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:02,729 what I mean? 267 00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:03,730 Relax. 268 00:19:03,750 --> 00:19:04,890 We just have to stay in a lot. 269 00:19:16,470 --> 00:19:17,890 Oh, I could murder that. 270 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:26,960 So why'd they call you two... 271 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:34,000 Eh? 272 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,440 Nothing. 273 00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:40,900 Right, you're round, I think. Get some in, eh? 274 00:19:47,240 --> 00:19:50,780 I was with these two Alsatians coming towards me, but like I said, it is 275 00:19:50,780 --> 00:19:54,320 how fast reactions of a couple of elastic bands can get you right out of 276 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,320 trouble. 277 00:19:57,180 --> 00:20:02,040 Yeah, well, you know, Reggie, he was a great pal of my dad's and he was like an 278 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,019 uncle to me. 279 00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:05,140 He never once forgot my birthday. 280 00:20:35,179 --> 00:20:36,179 Two tips. 281 00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:39,540 We've been told he was a nutter. But we found a great bloke. 282 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:41,380 And then we learnt why he was here. 283 00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:42,780 Or so we thought. 284 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,800 It's all right, ladies. I mean, what can you do, you know? 285 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:56,220 It's just something you have to come to terms with, right? 286 00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,160 It's in my chest. 287 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:03,060 Don't know how long I got. Doctor said six months, but I just had to feel my 288 00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:04,900 feet on English soil, you know? 289 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:08,560 I'll tell you something, I ain't never even been a man of two swords. 290 00:21:09,300 --> 00:21:10,340 That's terrible, man. 291 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,700 Come on, come on, you can't hurt me now. 292 00:21:14,580 --> 00:21:15,580 That's the spirit, man. 293 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,060 Got to say my farewells, you see. 294 00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,440 Especially to old Agnes Moss. 295 00:21:23,800 --> 00:21:25,180 Here, me and him done time together. 296 00:21:26,420 --> 00:21:29,340 Here, his old sort, she used to smuggle to Beckingham for us in her bra. 297 00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:33,220 Does he still go to boxing? 298 00:21:33,940 --> 00:21:35,940 Agnes? A regular as clockwork. 299 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,060 I'd like to see him just one last time. 300 00:21:48,940 --> 00:21:50,160 one I had to get out of the country. 301 00:21:50,980 --> 00:21:53,820 Well, at least you've got the weather there. No, that don't matter as shit. 302 00:21:53,820 --> 00:21:57,400 see, it's not just the usual bollocks that you miss. You know, West Ham, warm 303 00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:01,580 beer, right? What you really miss is the great English pub fight. 304 00:22:01,940 --> 00:22:02,940 Ah, yes. 305 00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:04,100 It's eleven o 'clock. 306 00:22:04,580 --> 00:22:08,360 Ding dong, down your pipe, steam outside, bottle in your eye. 307 00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:27,700 There's no cobbles. 308 00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:38,280 Who do you fancy in the middle, mate? 309 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:41,780 I'm still thinking about the heavyweight, James. 310 00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:46,320 I wanted a word. 311 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,340 Just to warn you, things might kick off later. 312 00:22:51,260 --> 00:22:52,260 What's that? 313 00:22:53,070 --> 00:22:56,090 Old Aggies was on his way over from a bunch of number crunches in the city. 314 00:22:57,290 --> 00:22:59,990 With some crystal clear results, my boy. 315 00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:04,990 I've seen it all before. 316 00:23:05,730 --> 00:23:10,570 They get two bob, two quid, two grand and two hundred grand, but they get the 317 00:23:10,570 --> 00:23:11,730 ump because you've got four hundred grand. 318 00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:13,470 Envy. 319 00:23:13,890 --> 00:23:14,890 Envy of the other man. 320 00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:23,960 Coughin' Terry. 321 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,300 Bottle -dobbin' was right. 322 00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:07,060 Well, times change. 323 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,200 I can see that. 324 00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:10,420 Shit. How about you to that, then? 325 00:25:10,820 --> 00:25:12,520 I'd quite like to see Moira again. 326 00:25:12,900 --> 00:25:13,900 Fucking joking. 327 00:25:14,060 --> 00:25:15,060 Come on. 328 00:25:16,880 --> 00:25:19,220 Now, she stopped doing that shit with a pipe, then? 329 00:26:04,330 --> 00:26:07,370 Look, I'll be the first to admit there's better ways of raising 20 grand than 330 00:26:07,370 --> 00:26:08,370 babysitting a psycho. 331 00:26:08,810 --> 00:26:11,830 But what we've got to work out is how to stop him taking out any more of his old 332 00:26:11,830 --> 00:26:12,830 enemies. 333 00:26:13,110 --> 00:26:14,430 Well, we keep him at home. 334 00:26:14,990 --> 00:26:16,990 You know, we could rent him some videos. 335 00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:19,790 Comedies, musicals, you know, nothing violent. 336 00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:21,330 Yeah, he might go for that. 337 00:26:21,670 --> 00:26:23,210 Been on his last legs and that. 338 00:26:23,450 --> 00:26:24,510 Lee! Lee. 339 00:26:25,170 --> 00:26:27,090 He wasn't entirely truthful about the cancer. 340 00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:31,130 Fucking bastard! 341 00:26:35,100 --> 00:26:36,440 Right, Jeremy, what's the plan? 342 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:38,500 Keep the fucker inside these four walls. 343 00:26:41,620 --> 00:26:47,500 What is the plumber doing in the bar, drinking a pint an hour before we open? 344 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:48,720 We paid him in pints. 345 00:26:49,100 --> 00:26:50,220 He's got 50 in the bin. 346 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:53,160 That gives you 34. 347 00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,060 Right, lads, we're going out. 348 00:26:59,260 --> 00:27:02,560 We thought we'd stay in, keep our heads down, you know. Yeah, loads on loads. 349 00:27:06,130 --> 00:27:07,130 You've got it. 350 00:27:20,270 --> 00:27:21,650 You know I'm missing out on a shaggy. 351 00:27:22,430 --> 00:27:23,430 Got it for you. 352 00:27:24,050 --> 00:27:26,870 Tony's going through one of her creative periods. 353 00:27:27,130 --> 00:27:29,010 Moon, he's going to do someone again. 354 00:27:29,410 --> 00:27:30,730 We'll have to bag him up or something. 355 00:27:31,250 --> 00:27:32,890 Don't be dense. He's a pro. 356 00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,180 Yeah, I just wanted to have a little word. 357 00:27:40,260 --> 00:27:42,220 Oh, it's something I saw in a boxing last night. 358 00:27:42,780 --> 00:27:44,280 Yeah, it's something that happened in a ball. 359 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,480 I'll say, I'll talk straight around and we'll get down to business. 360 00:27:49,180 --> 00:27:50,180 All right, sweet. 361 00:27:51,060 --> 00:27:52,460 It's a bit of life, it's a bit of life. 362 00:28:15,500 --> 00:28:18,440 So you and Rainham get on, do you, Two Sips? Pete's in a pod, mate. 363 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,680 This place must be worth a fortune, eh? Pete and the pod get on, then. 364 00:28:21,900 --> 00:28:24,240 Me and Ray, brothers in all that night. 365 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:30,460 Two Sips, me old mucker. 366 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:33,600 Rainham, Ray. 367 00:28:34,100 --> 00:28:35,100 Gorgeous as ever. 368 00:28:37,660 --> 00:28:38,660 Come on in. 369 00:28:48,169 --> 00:28:49,169 Lovely house, mate. 370 00:28:49,670 --> 00:28:50,750 Put that pool in yourself? 371 00:28:51,090 --> 00:28:52,090 Yeah, I did, as a matter of fact. 372 00:28:52,830 --> 00:28:55,970 Almost did me back in, though, lifting all that crazy paving off the Mrs 373 00:28:55,970 --> 00:28:57,950 Rockery. Bet you weren't too happy about that. 374 00:28:58,150 --> 00:28:59,730 Oh, I fucking paid for it, lads. 375 00:29:00,050 --> 00:29:01,390 Shagging was out for a month. 376 00:29:02,510 --> 00:29:04,610 Those koi carp are nice. Are they rare? 377 00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:05,930 No, son, you can eat them. 378 00:29:06,310 --> 00:29:07,310 Fuck! 379 00:29:07,590 --> 00:29:08,590 Fuck me! 380 00:29:11,690 --> 00:29:13,230 You fucking mental, Keith! 381 00:29:14,130 --> 00:29:15,790 Will you please stop shooting people? 382 00:29:16,350 --> 00:29:18,670 You are supposed to be keeping a low profile. 383 00:29:19,310 --> 00:29:21,730 Poor bastard never even got a chance to answer the question. 384 00:29:22,390 --> 00:29:24,690 You can get caught a cop anywhere these days, mate. 385 00:29:31,890 --> 00:29:33,470 I think I'll drive. 386 00:29:41,430 --> 00:29:42,430 So where's he now? 387 00:29:43,030 --> 00:29:44,190 Only having a lie down. 388 00:29:44,430 --> 00:29:45,510 He said he was tired. 389 00:29:46,230 --> 00:29:47,670 Well, he's had a busy day, hasn't he? 390 00:29:48,550 --> 00:29:49,550 I'll give you this, James. 391 00:29:50,110 --> 00:29:51,350 Life around you is never boring. 392 00:29:52,070 --> 00:29:54,610 I mean, if anyone else was to have a friend of their uncle's over for a few 393 00:29:54,610 --> 00:29:55,610 days, he'd know what to expect. 394 00:29:56,330 --> 00:29:59,770 Tower of London, Nelson's Column, a bit of the zoo, maybe. 395 00:30:00,270 --> 00:30:01,350 But not Jamie's, mate, no. 396 00:30:01,830 --> 00:30:04,970 His idea of a good time is to pop round to an old chum's and blow his brains all 397 00:30:04,970 --> 00:30:05,970 over the patio. 398 00:30:07,930 --> 00:30:09,850 It was a bit of an eyebrow razor for me and all. 399 00:30:10,630 --> 00:30:13,870 So what do we do now? 400 00:30:20,170 --> 00:30:24,670 We get in touch with Uncle Keith and we sort out his escape route. 401 00:30:26,990 --> 00:30:27,990 Terry. 402 00:30:28,470 --> 00:30:29,470 Miami. 403 00:30:30,110 --> 00:30:31,770 You sorting out our little problems? 404 00:30:34,030 --> 00:30:37,770 You're not paid to not like things, son. You're paid to stop them happening. 405 00:30:39,670 --> 00:30:44,050 Just thought I'd let you know that me and Frisbee have been making inquiries. 406 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:46,570 In our own way. 407 00:30:47,820 --> 00:30:51,660 And let's just say that if we get results before you do, well, that 408 00:30:51,660 --> 00:30:54,400 look very good for your standing, now would it? 409 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,160 Oh, I'm sure we can rely on you, Terry. 410 00:31:01,220 --> 00:31:02,220 Good hunting. 411 00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:10,240 Two Sips is seriously deranged. We can't control him. We ain't going to keep him 412 00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:14,560 no more. Nothing is worth this much grief. You are fucking keeping him. 413 00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:22,280 Or... Miami finds out where Two Sips has been eating, sleeping and shitting. 414 00:31:22,420 --> 00:31:23,359 Come on, Keith. 415 00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:24,620 You took the job on. 416 00:31:25,820 --> 00:31:28,000 Now you lot, sort it out. 417 00:31:30,500 --> 00:31:31,500 Good luck. 418 00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:33,400 Cheers. 419 00:31:37,460 --> 00:31:40,140 What the fuck? We just kicked Two Sips out. 420 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,520 What then I have to pay Uncle Keith back his 20 grand? 421 00:31:45,130 --> 00:31:47,730 Don't even say it. Don't even think about saying it. 422 00:31:49,250 --> 00:31:53,910 Look, maybe Miami's actually on Two Sips' little list, you know, for burial. 423 00:31:54,290 --> 00:31:55,290 Oh, that's all right, then. 424 00:31:55,570 --> 00:31:59,370 I mean, we take on Two Sips for 20 grand to pay Miami back, only to find out 425 00:31:59,370 --> 00:32:02,230 that Two Sips is here to kill Miami, and we're the little piggies in the middle. 426 00:32:02,350 --> 00:32:04,410 That's fucking lovely, that is. Wait a minute. 427 00:32:04,750 --> 00:32:06,350 We don't know who's on Two Sips' list. 428 00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:15,580 Raynham Ray is no more. 429 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:21,660 An old and trusted friend, he's left a big hole where once he stood. 430 00:32:22,540 --> 00:32:25,920 He was a man you could rely on, one of the old school. 431 00:32:27,580 --> 00:32:31,580 We all know these untimely departures can leave a bit of a vacuum, which is 432 00:32:31,580 --> 00:32:35,320 I've invited you here in a spirit of free and frank discussion to help me 433 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:39,640 my problems. Greasy John, you wanted to ask Rudolph a question. 434 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:42,800 Did you top Raynham? 435 00:32:43,430 --> 00:32:44,430 No. 436 00:32:46,490 --> 00:32:47,630 Do you believe him? 437 00:32:50,370 --> 00:32:52,190 Do you fucking believe him? 438 00:32:53,530 --> 00:32:54,530 Yeah. 439 00:32:55,730 --> 00:32:56,890 Now I'll tell you. 440 00:33:00,270 --> 00:33:01,270 Come on. 441 00:33:01,650 --> 00:33:02,650 Ask me. 442 00:33:03,850 --> 00:33:06,070 What's the problem? Let him ask you. 443 00:33:08,030 --> 00:33:09,230 Did you talk Ray? 444 00:33:12,460 --> 00:33:13,460 No way, John. 445 00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:19,800 Now ask me. 446 00:33:21,060 --> 00:33:22,260 Leave it at Miami. 447 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:24,860 Fucking ask me. 448 00:33:28,380 --> 00:33:29,380 Was it you? 449 00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,620 How fucking dare you? 450 00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:37,220 Raymond was my friend. 451 00:33:38,560 --> 00:33:40,380 I had nothing to do with it. 452 00:33:40,780 --> 00:33:41,780 It was an outsider. 453 00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,560 They found some communion wine in the kitchen. 454 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,240 Two sips? 455 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:50,340 I thought he was dead. 456 00:33:50,580 --> 00:33:51,920 No, he was in Spain. 457 00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:54,000 Which comes to much the same thing, doesn't it? 458 00:33:55,580 --> 00:33:57,080 So what were you going to do about it? 459 00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:03,180 I think... we should offer a little reward. 460 00:34:10,090 --> 00:34:13,909 That's your last one. It's way past last orders, so finish that one and get out. 461 00:34:14,889 --> 00:34:16,050 It's all sorted. 462 00:34:16,449 --> 00:34:17,449 All right, lads. 463 00:34:18,469 --> 00:34:20,130 He is on his way home tonight. 464 00:34:20,469 --> 00:34:24,330 How? There's a boat waiting at Tilbury. We slap him on it and we go Alzheimer's 465 00:34:24,330 --> 00:34:25,168 on the old business. 466 00:34:25,170 --> 00:34:26,210 We're not going anywhere. 467 00:34:26,610 --> 00:34:30,610 There is now a price on our Mr Two -Sips' head, put up by Greasy John and 468 00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:31,610 Rudolph. 469 00:34:31,830 --> 00:34:32,830 Where's Moon? 470 00:34:49,949 --> 00:34:50,949 Christ, 471 00:34:53,570 --> 00:34:54,570 I hope he's not in trouble. 472 00:34:55,110 --> 00:34:56,530 How much do they offer him for two sips? 473 00:34:57,330 --> 00:34:58,330 500 ,000. 474 00:34:59,210 --> 00:35:02,190 Every psycho with a knuckle duster will be out on the streets trying to get 475 00:35:02,190 --> 00:35:05,190 lucky. You'd have to have a death wish to step out the door with that fucking 476 00:35:05,190 --> 00:35:07,290 geezer. We can't hang around here. 477 00:35:08,070 --> 00:35:09,070 Okay. 478 00:35:09,810 --> 00:35:10,810 We're fucked. 479 00:35:15,150 --> 00:35:16,350 I couldn't have a shot at that, could I? 480 00:35:17,090 --> 00:35:18,090 Correct. 481 00:35:22,970 --> 00:35:25,450 Now then, what have you got to tell me? 482 00:35:26,130 --> 00:35:27,530 Well, it's a little matter of money first, isn't it? 483 00:35:30,450 --> 00:35:32,170 Oh, no way! Hold on! Hold on! 484 00:35:34,230 --> 00:35:35,390 Which one first, boss? 485 00:35:36,070 --> 00:35:37,910 Left or right? Christ, no, please! 486 00:35:38,690 --> 00:35:41,530 Where is Two Chips? I don't know! 487 00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:53,730 get you to Tilbury. Order a minicab or what? 488 00:35:55,870 --> 00:35:57,150 I could get you there. 489 00:35:59,670 --> 00:36:02,650 And not a single soul would see you. 490 00:36:03,810 --> 00:36:04,810 So what do you reckon? 491 00:36:05,650 --> 00:36:06,950 I reckon black suits you. 492 00:36:07,670 --> 00:36:09,070 Brings out the colour of your eyes. 493 00:36:09,390 --> 00:36:11,230 I didn't notice you looking at my eyes. 494 00:36:21,650 --> 00:36:23,290 Lee, you don't want to be there. 495 00:36:23,910 --> 00:36:25,310 Something wicked your way comes. 496 00:36:25,930 --> 00:36:26,970 Meet us in the yard. 497 00:36:30,250 --> 00:36:31,410 Come on! 498 00:36:40,870 --> 00:36:43,310 I'll leave you for five minutes and all hell breaks loose. 499 00:36:56,940 --> 00:36:57,940 Go get the talk. 500 00:37:03,220 --> 00:37:04,320 Very good, man. 501 00:37:04,740 --> 00:37:08,340 So the plan is, I've got to walk knee -deep in shit in a sewer. We're sticking 502 00:37:08,340 --> 00:37:10,700 dump in charge. You've got a better one? Yeah, I've got a good one. 503 00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:12,940 Clint Eastwood here stops going round chopping people. 504 00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,080 This is not my idea of a good time, Moon. 505 00:37:15,520 --> 00:37:19,280 I can't believe it. The Lee Valley Spur. 506 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:22,320 I always wondered what this would look like. 507 00:37:22,860 --> 00:37:25,100 I don't know who you are, but you've got to try and get out more. 508 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:32,560 What was that? 509 00:37:32,820 --> 00:37:33,820 We're being followed. 510 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:35,600 Fuck. 511 00:38:15,310 --> 00:38:16,310 Fuck me, where's two tips? 512 00:38:16,790 --> 00:38:17,790 I'll have to go back. 513 00:38:17,910 --> 00:38:18,910 Hey, you go back. 514 00:38:19,050 --> 00:38:20,050 I'm out of here. 515 00:38:23,150 --> 00:38:24,150 Oi! 516 00:38:25,750 --> 00:38:27,570 I don't believe it. What? 517 00:38:28,050 --> 00:38:31,850 This is a Farrington and Madeline double -gated source. 518 00:38:32,170 --> 00:38:33,170 Oh, come on. 519 00:38:33,410 --> 00:38:35,430 Miracles of engineering, these things. 520 00:38:35,670 --> 00:38:36,670 Let's just get out of here. 521 00:38:37,490 --> 00:38:39,510 150 years old. 522 00:38:43,950 --> 00:38:44,950 Who's that? 523 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:46,080 Good night, John. 524 00:38:47,160 --> 00:38:48,160 That's all right. 525 00:38:51,140 --> 00:38:52,300 I'm going to be sick. 526 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:54,640 Where are you? 527 00:38:55,100 --> 00:38:57,020 Hold my hand. I am holding your hand. 528 00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:00,140 No, you're not. Hang on. I've got a lighter here somewhere. 529 00:39:00,740 --> 00:39:02,160 I wouldn't do that, my dear. 530 00:39:03,020 --> 00:39:06,580 Look, we're in a pocket of hydrogenated sulphate. 531 00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,120 Choked down to you. 532 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:13,980 One spark from that will ignite all this gas and blow the three of us to shit. 533 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:34,960 Is everyone here? 534 00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:36,400 Where's Tinker? 535 00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:37,960 Oh, no. 536 00:39:42,340 --> 00:39:43,440 I'll have to tell his mum. 537 00:39:44,140 --> 00:39:45,078 Too soon? 538 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:46,080 No, stay for it. 539 00:39:47,380 --> 00:39:48,620 No, I ain't want to complain. 540 00:39:49,140 --> 00:39:51,220 But wouldn't a doctor's railway have been easier? 541 00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:56,560 That's it. 542 00:39:56,800 --> 00:39:57,840 Nice steering, Lee. 543 00:40:01,740 --> 00:40:03,060 Lee. Oh, bitch. 544 00:40:08,710 --> 00:40:09,710 Chuck us a line. 545 00:40:12,690 --> 00:40:14,430 You. Rope. Now. 546 00:40:19,490 --> 00:40:20,910 I thought you'd never get here. 547 00:40:27,610 --> 00:40:28,610 Mads. 548 00:40:28,830 --> 00:40:30,670 You are really impressing me. 549 00:40:31,630 --> 00:40:34,530 I thought you'd all be going mouldy in the centre by now, but no. 550 00:40:35,410 --> 00:40:36,490 You've pulled through. 551 00:40:37,340 --> 00:40:38,340 Terrific. 552 00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:41,260 I said the two fibs. 553 00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:44,380 You'll probably have to take them out at some point. 554 00:40:45,680 --> 00:40:46,740 You're fucked up. 555 00:40:48,440 --> 00:40:50,000 And now we're going to have to lose you. 556 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:52,660 John, scatter them in different directions. 557 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000 You can't get us all. 558 00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:00,720 It's nothing personal, lads. 559 00:41:01,380 --> 00:41:02,420 It's just Christmas. 560 00:41:34,800 --> 00:41:36,540 I see we got shot at the fucker then. 561 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,680 I knew it was just a matter of time with Terry. 562 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:45,000 He was too careless, too flash, too fucking stupid. 563 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:49,580 What a world we live in, eh, Two Sips? 564 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:51,880 You never know who's your mate. 565 00:41:53,460 --> 00:41:56,520 People running around, double -crossing everyone else. 566 00:41:58,420 --> 00:42:00,900 You know, it's fucked up. 567 00:42:05,580 --> 00:42:06,580 It really is. 568 00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:13,440 And you, Lord, keep out of my face. 569 00:42:14,780 --> 00:42:16,820 And get off my fucking boat. 570 00:42:18,180 --> 00:42:19,180 Now!