1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,336
I'm quite a creature of habit.

2
00:00:03,337 --> 00:00:05,702
Maybe it's a trait that 
I got from my father.

3
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:09,005
He continued every night 
the mail, and every evening,

4
00:00:09,007 --> 00:00:11,703
like clockwork, 
he would become very grumpy.

5
00:00:11,705 --> 00:00:13,881
- Damn bills. 
-George.

6
00:00:14,926 --> 00:00:17,535
You'd think he'd get used to it,

7
00:00:17,537 --> 00:00:21,626
but night after night 
it upset him again.

8
00:00:21,628 --> 00:00:23,548
Jury duty? Son of a...

9
00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:25,542
George.

10
00:00:25,545 --> 00:00:28,154
It was complicated.

11
00:00:28,157 --> 00:00:30,439
I didn't like seeing him upset,

12
00:00:30,442 --> 00:00:33,072
but what can you do? I like consistency.

13
00:00:33,075 --> 00:00:35,955
tax authorities? This can't be good.

14
00:00:35,958 --> 00:00:37,120
Of course it is possible.

15
00:00:37,122 --> 00:00:39,166
When is the tax authorities ever good?

16
00:00:39,168 --> 00:00:41,081
Maybe write 
them to congratulate me

17
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:43,344
about filing such a nice tax return.

18
00:00:43,346 --> 00:00:46,134
- What does it say? 
- Okay. Not that bad.

19
00:00:46,137 --> 00:00:48,244
We owe four dollars and 22 cents.

20
00:00:48,247 --> 00:00:49,314
What?

21
00:00:49,317 --> 00:00:50,408
That could have been worse.

22
00:00:50,411 --> 00:00:51,569
Yes, tell me about it.

23
00:00:51,571 --> 00:00:52,702
Let me see that.

24
00:00:52,705 --> 00:00:54,442
I'm going to wash up before dinner.

25
00:00:54,444 --> 00:00:57,184
You realize they are wrong. 
My return was flawless.

26
00:00:57,186 --> 00:00:59,577
I-It's four dollars. Forget it.

27
00:00:59,579 --> 00:01:01,579
But they say I made a mistake.

28
00:01:01,581 --> 00:01:04,923
You got us a nice one too 
refund given. You did a great job.

29
00:01:04,926 --> 00:01:07,019
- i 
- appreciated my mother's love,

30
00:01:07,021 --> 00:01:08,673
but what a boy really craves

31
00:01:08,675 --> 00:01:12,288
is the unconditional approval 
of a government agency.

32
00:01:24,486 --> 00:01:30,705
- Synchronized and corrected by VitoSilans - 
-- www.Addic7ed.com --

33
00:01:36,572 --> 00:01:38,618
Yippie-Ki-Yay, Mr. Falcon.

34
00:01:39,619 --> 00:01:41,837
Wait, who is Mr. Falcon?

35
00:01:41,839 --> 00:01:43,143
Nobody.

36
00:01:43,145 --> 00:01:44,579
Then why did he say it?

37
00:01:44,581 --> 00:01:47,059
In the real version 
he said a bad word,

38
00:01:47,061 --> 00:01:49,149
but they had to change it for TV.

39
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:50,802
TV is so lame.

40
00:01:50,804 --> 00:01:52,458
What did he really say?

41
00:01:55,439 --> 00:01:57,286
That's so much better.

42
00:01:57,289 --> 00:01:59,637
This movie works on many levels.

43
00:01:59,639 --> 00:02:02,336
Dad, I looked at the tax returns 
and I was right.

44
00:02:02,338 --> 00:02:04,642
They are the ones who made the mistake.

45
00:02:04,644 --> 00:02:06,905
Uh... What are you doing?

46
00:02:06,907 --> 00:02:09,038
Writing a check to the IRS.

47
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,808
But we don't owe them anything.

48
00:02:10,811 --> 00:02:12,811
They claim that I
I underdeclared our income,

49
00:02:12,814 --> 00:02:14,216
but I can prove them wrong.

50
00:02:14,219 --> 00:02:15,697
It's not worth fighting them

51
00:02:15,699 --> 00:02:16,845
more than a few bucks.

52
00:02:16,848 --> 00:02:18,845
Let me call them 
I can arrange this.

53
00:02:18,848 --> 00:02:21,658
Just drop it, we don't want to 
get on their radar.

54
00:02:21,661 --> 00:02:23,357
But if you do 
sends a check, it's like giving in

55
00:02:23,359 --> 00:02:25,141
I made a mistake when I didn't.

56
00:02:25,143 --> 00:02:28,710
Sheldon, sometimes being right means being right 
not the most important thing.

57
00:02:28,712 --> 00:02:31,452
I'm glad you think so,
because boy, are you wrong.

58
00:02:31,454 --> 00:02:34,196
We're done talking about this.

59
00:02:36,589 --> 00:02:39,845
And there he goes, wrong again.

60
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:45,161
I take the rib eye, medium rare.

61
00:02:45,163 --> 00:02:46,336
And for you?

62
00:02:46,338 --> 00:02:48,773
Uh, just the house salad, please.

63
00:02:48,775 --> 00:02:50,949
Very good.

64
00:02:50,951 --> 00:02:52,342
House salad?

65
00:02:52,344 --> 00:02:53,996
Do you pay attention to your figure?

66
00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:55,681
I have a physical tomorrow.

67
00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:59,219
Oh, so your plan is to 
start eating healthy now?

68
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,785
Can't hurt.

69
00:03:00,787 --> 00:03:04,311
It will be 70 
years of red meat and beer cannot be undone.

70
00:03:04,313 --> 00:03:05,790
I'm not trying to undo it,

71
00:03:05,792 --> 00:03:08,369
I just try to hide it 
under some lettuce.

72
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:13,929
Son of a Mitch.

73
00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:15,611
Melissa Cooper.

74
00:03:15,614 --> 00:03:17,280
What? I said "Mitch".

75
00:03:17,282 --> 00:03:19,239
There's nothing wrong with that.

76
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,556
But you meant a different word.

77
00:03:21,559 --> 00:03:23,559
I'm sorry, what other word?

78
00:03:23,562 --> 00:03:25,197
Just look at it.

79
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,650
Wait a minute. So you 
says I have a boyfriend?

80
00:03:27,653 --> 00:03:29,161
whose father's name is Mitch,

81
00:03:29,163 --> 00:03:31,076
I'm not allowed to talk about him?

82
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:32,382
I know what you're doing.

83
00:03:32,384 --> 00:03:35,342
Okay, I just feel sorry for my friend.

84
00:03:35,344 --> 00:03:37,909
That poor son of a Mitch.

85
00:03:37,911 --> 00:03:39,666
Melissa Cooper.

86
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,480
How's that salad?

87
00:03:43,482 --> 00:03:46,527
It sucks. How's your steak?

88
00:03:46,529 --> 00:03:48,268
You know how they overcook it sometimes?

89
00:03:48,270 --> 00:03:49,400
so it's a bit dry?

90
00:03:49,403 --> 00:03:50,271
Uh huh.

91
00:03:50,274 --> 00:03:52,836
Not this time. It's so good.

92
00:03:52,839 --> 00:03:54,970
You know what else is good?

93
00:03:54,972 --> 00:03:57,111
This radish.

94
00:03:57,114 --> 00:03:58,930
- Would you like a steak? 
- Yes.

95
00:03:58,932 --> 00:04:00,976
Then you probably had something 
have to order.

96
00:04:00,978 --> 00:04:02,107
It's delicious.

97
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,849
You're not a very nice lady.

98
00:04:04,851 --> 00:04:06,462
mmm.

99
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:13,815
Psst. Hey, boy.

100
00:04:13,817 --> 00:04:15,773
Who is it?

101
00:04:15,775 --> 00:04:19,301
It's me. The envelope 
with the IRS check.

102
00:04:20,911 --> 00:04:22,432
What do you want?

103
00:04:22,434 --> 00:04:24,173
You can't let him send me.

104
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:25,609
You didn't make a mistake.

105
00:04:25,611 --> 00:04:27,655
I know, but it's too late.

106
00:04:27,657 --> 00:04:30,875
It's not. The check
is not due until 30 days from now.

107
00:04:30,877 --> 00:04:32,056
Like this?

108
00:04:32,059 --> 00:04:34,008
Just go to the kitchen 
and take me off the pile.

109
00:04:34,011 --> 00:04:37,099
Buy yourself some time 
to correct this.

110
00:04:37,101 --> 00:04:40,407
But mess with the 
mail is a federal crime.

111
00:04:40,409 --> 00:04:43,428
I am not yet a post. I am 
not in the mailbox.

112
00:04:43,431 --> 00:04:44,976
That's the law.

113
00:04:44,978 --> 00:04:47,718
But what if my father 
notice that you are missing?

114
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,939
Do it after he goes to his 
work has left. He will never know.

115
00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:52,549
That's brilliant.

116
00:04:52,551 --> 00:04:56,161
I'm not real, so technically 
have you thought about it?

117
00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:58,072
That makes more sense.

118
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,253
Next 
morning I waited patiently

119
00:05:01,255 --> 00:05:03,275
that my father would leave for work.

120
00:05:06,562 --> 00:05:08,780
Are you going to work?

121
00:05:08,783 --> 00:05:10,262
Yes?

122
00:05:10,264 --> 00:05:11,831
Goodbye. Bye.

123
00:05:14,791 --> 00:05:16,401
Bye.

124
00:05:26,611 --> 00:05:28,368
I took action.

125
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,589
My heart pounded.

126
00:05:32,039 --> 00:05:33,702
I don't know what 
for bladder control

127
00:05:33,705 --> 00:05:35,017
have professional spies,

128
00:05:35,020 --> 00:05:37,619
but this first-timer 
had to pee pronto.

129
00:05:42,284 --> 00:05:44,538
Now me 
my father had prevented from saying:

130
00:05:44,563 --> 00:05:47,930
I made a mistake, it was time 
to have the IRS recognize theirs.

131
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:49,701
IRS, Agent Green speaking.

132
00:05:49,704 --> 00:05:51,747
Hello, my name is Sheldon Cooper.

133
00:05:51,750 --> 00:05:53,452
Forgive me for that 
immediately gave chase,

134
00:05:53,455 --> 00:05:55,760
but I'm outside and my 
skin is incredibly fair.

135
00:05:55,762 --> 00:05:57,717
Okay, how can I help you?

136
00:05:57,720 --> 00:05:59,633
You sent my family a bill saying we owed something

137
00:05:59,636 --> 00:06:02,289
an additional four dollars and 
22 cents, but you're wrong.

138
00:06:02,292 --> 00:06:04,117
I filed an error-free tax return.

139
00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,382
I'm sorry, how old are you?

140
00:06:06,385 --> 00:06:08,201
That doesn't seem relevant, but I'm 11.

141
00:06:08,204 --> 00:06:11,165
Your parents left an 11 year old 
file their federal tax returns?

142
00:06:11,168 --> 00:06:14,082
This year. Two years ago 
they let a nine year old do it.

143
00:06:14,084 --> 00:06:17,259
Look, these tax codes are complicated.

144
00:06:17,261 --> 00:06:18,600
If you made it alone

145
00:06:18,603 --> 00:06:20,951
a mistake of four dollars, 
that's pretty impressive.

146
00:06:20,954 --> 00:06:23,522
I didn't make a mistake at all. You did.

147
00:06:25,125 --> 00:06:26,820
- Is that so? 
- Yes.

148
00:06:26,823 --> 00:06:30,085
But don't feel bad, this one 
tax codes are complicated.

149
00:06:30,088 --> 00:06:31,568
Uh huh.

150
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:36,669
Okay, I got you 
file here, and, uh,

151
00:06:36,672 --> 00:06:39,455
it seems that you 
you have understated your income.

152
00:06:39,457 --> 00:06:41,588
If you look 
among charitable donations,

153
00:06:41,590 --> 00:06:43,225
you will notice that the money we have made

154
00:06:43,228 --> 00:06:45,359
at the garage sale 
did not count as taxable income

155
00:06:45,362 --> 00:06:47,332
because we donated it to the church.

156
00:06:47,335 --> 00:06:51,233
Well, I'll, uh, I'll 
take a look at that.

157
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:53,077
In the future you would 
may consider doing so

158
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,819
before sending the letter.

159
00:06:54,821 --> 00:06:56,428
So how does this work?

160
00:06:56,431 --> 00:06:58,959
Apologies now, 
do I get it in writing?

161
00:07:00,229 --> 00:07:01,533
It's no big deal.

162
00:07:01,536 --> 00:07:03,193
It's a colonoscopy.

163
00:07:03,196 --> 00:07:04,154
Like this?

164
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,873
So one of those words means 
"colon", and the other means:

165
00:07:06,876 --> 00:07:09,137
“push a camera in.”

166
00:07:09,139 --> 00:07:11,357
mm. I'm surprised you need one.

167
00:07:11,359 --> 00:07:13,402
Did you tell him about the salad?

168
00:07:13,404 --> 00:07:14,839
It's not funny.

169
00:07:14,841 --> 00:07:16,722
Stop being such a baby.

170
00:07:16,725 --> 00:07:20,519
Something I express 
pushed my body. You can do this.

171
00:07:20,522 --> 00:07:22,629
Wait, wait, I have an idea.

172
00:07:22,631 --> 00:07:24,762
Why don't we do it together?

173
00:07:24,764 --> 00:07:26,067
What?

174
00:07:26,069 --> 00:07:27,765
- No. 
- Come on.

175
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:30,376
It will be romantic.

176
00:07:30,378 --> 00:07:31,623
You're weird.

177
00:07:31,626 --> 00:07:33,699
- Hey, kids. 
- Well, what the hell?

178
00:07:33,701 --> 00:07:35,424
Why are we being monitored?

179
00:07:35,426 --> 00:07:37,949
What? Are you sure? 
doesn't it say "applauded"?

180
00:07:37,951 --> 00:07:39,341
Maybe for a job well done?

181
00:07:39,343 --> 00:07:40,778
We become 
checked over the past three years

182
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:42,385
of our tax returns.

183
00:07:42,388 --> 00:07:43,909
I don't understand.

184
00:07:43,912 --> 00:07:45,608
I sent that check a week ago.

185
00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:48,089
About that. I can explain.

186
00:07:48,091 --> 00:07:49,743
- Sheldon? 
- I just needed some time

187
00:07:49,745 --> 00:07:51,789
to prove that there is 
there were no errors in my work.

188
00:07:51,791 --> 00:07:52,877
What have you done?

189
00:07:52,879 --> 00:07:54,226
I took the check

190
00:07:54,228 --> 00:07:55,967
- before mom mailed it. 
- What?

191
00:07:55,969 --> 00:07:58,253
But I called the IRS 
and arranged matters.

192
00:07:58,256 --> 00:07:59,492
You clearly didn't.

193
00:07:59,494 --> 00:08:01,276
I told you to let it go.

194
00:08:01,278 --> 00:08:03,191
My apologies.

195
00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:05,150
This could end up costing us a fortune.

196
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:06,686
- I can fix it. 
- No.

197
00:08:06,689 --> 00:08:08,926
I'm going to hire an accountant 
and let him handle it properly.

198
00:08:08,928 --> 00:08:11,678
- But I want to help. 
- You've helped enough.

199
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,377
Go to your room.

200
00:08:14,814 --> 00:08:16,163
Yes sir.

201
00:08:24,562 --> 00:08:28,608
I feel bad hitting you like that 
after you buy me drinks.

202
00:08:28,610 --> 00:08:31,176
Okay, I'll tell you what. Will 
you make it more interesting?

203
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,995
- Certainly. 
- Okay, how about this?

204
00:08:32,998 --> 00:08:35,920
If I win, you get a colonoscopy with me.

205
00:08:35,922 --> 00:08:37,835
God, are you still doing this?

206
00:08:37,837 --> 00:08:39,053
Come on, why not?

207
00:08:39,055 --> 00:08:40,553
Because I don't want to.

208
00:08:40,556 --> 00:08:43,050
I don't want it either 
but my doctor said I had to.

209
00:08:43,053 --> 00:08:45,494
Well, my doctor didn't say anything.

210
00:08:45,496 --> 00:08:46,901
When was the last time you saw him?

211
00:08:46,904 --> 00:08:48,671
I don't know, it's been a while.

212
00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:51,269
Yeah, well, like, "six months" a while,

213
00:08:51,272 --> 00:08:53,024
- "Watergate" for a while? 
- Drop it.

214
00:08:53,026 --> 00:08:56,767
Uh, the last time you saw him, he used 
they leeches?

215
00:08:56,770 --> 00:08:58,823
I'm about to take this pool cue

216
00:08:58,826 --> 00:09:01,249
and beat your doctor to pieces.

217
00:09:01,251 --> 00:09:02,729
Oh. So long, huh?

218
00:09:02,731 --> 00:09:05,558
Listen, I'm just saying that 
you can use a check.

219
00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,778
- I feel fine. 
- Okay.

220
00:09:07,780 --> 00:09:10,258
At your age there is nothing 
don't miss going in...

221
00:09:10,260 --> 00:09:11,738
I don't go to the doctor

222
00:09:11,740 --> 00:09:13,435
so just...

223
00:09:13,437 --> 00:09:15,786
mind your own business.

224
00:09:15,788 --> 00:09:18,084
♪ The Texas honky-tonk blues. ♪

225
00:09:23,546 --> 00:09:25,154
Why didn't you eat with us?

226
00:09:25,179 --> 00:09:27,274
I'm not hungry. Dad is mad at me.

227
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,124
Mom isn't happy with me either.

228
00:09:29,126 --> 00:09:30,292
Why?

229
00:09:30,295 --> 00:09:32,301
Mama made chicken

230
00:09:32,303 --> 00:09:34,042
and I said that chickens cluck a lot,

231
00:09:34,044 --> 00:09:35,870
thus they should be called "cluckers".

232
00:09:35,872 --> 00:09:37,828
And some chickens are mothers,

233
00:09:37,830 --> 00:09:39,482
so you could call them "mother...".

234
00:09:39,484 --> 00:09:40,483
I don't care.

235
00:09:40,485 --> 00:09:41,963
Mother certainly did.

236
00:09:41,965 --> 00:09:43,573
What did you do wrong?

237
00:09:43,575 --> 00:09:45,662
I got Dad in trouble with the tax authorities.

238
00:09:45,664 --> 00:09:47,229
He needs to hire an accountant,

239
00:09:47,231 --> 00:09:49,013
which can cost us a lot of money.

240
00:09:49,015 --> 00:09:52,105
Damn, I don't want kids.

241
00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:56,804
Hello.

242
00:09:56,806 --> 00:09:58,631
So, hello.

243
00:09:58,633 --> 00:09:59,894
Well, you missed it.

244
00:09:59,896 --> 00:10:01,983
Some old woman went crazy there

245
00:10:01,985 --> 00:10:04,507
and threw her pool cue on the table.

246
00:10:04,509 --> 00:10:06,378
- She's crazy.
- Hmm.

247
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:07,815
Sorry.

248
00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:10,382
Well, you're not a fan of doctors, are you?

249
00:10:10,384 --> 00:10:12,386
They never have good news.

250
00:10:12,389 --> 00:10:15,605
They just want to find something wrong.

251
00:10:15,607 --> 00:10:17,607
It's kind of their job.

252
00:10:17,609 --> 00:10:19,609
If there's something wrong with me,

253
00:10:19,611 --> 00:10:21,611
I don't want to know anything about it.

254
00:10:21,613 --> 00:10:22,889
That's stupid.

255
00:10:22,892 --> 00:10:24,353
No, it isn't.

256
00:10:24,355 --> 00:10:26,659
If I drop dead, 
I'd rather do it quickly

257
00:10:26,661 --> 00:10:28,923
and make it look good.

258
00:10:28,925 --> 00:10:30,707
I want to live that long

259
00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,970
I'm starting to look like a mummy.

260
00:10:32,972 --> 00:10:34,624
You start strong.

261
00:10:34,626 --> 00:10:36,452
Hello.

262
00:10:36,454 --> 00:10:39,455
My husband went to the doctor.

263
00:10:39,457 --> 00:10:41,303
And they found something.

264
00:10:41,306 --> 00:10:43,178
He had surgery two days later.

265
00:10:43,181 --> 00:10:45,009
Nine months later he was dead.

266
00:10:46,420 --> 00:10:47,770
Geez.

267
00:10:49,090 --> 00:10:51,135
I don't want that.

268
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,687
And I, I don't want to

269
00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:57,473
to guide someone else through that.

270
00:10:57,475 --> 00:10:58,953
My apologies.

271
00:10:58,955 --> 00:11:00,304
mm.

272
00:11:01,359 --> 00:11:03,374
I hope you stay long enough

273
00:11:03,377 --> 00:11:05,262
to also look like a mummy.

274
00:11:06,397 --> 00:11:07,918
I always photographed myself

275
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,094
more the Bride of Frankenstein type.

276
00:11:10,096 --> 00:11:12,795
Well, you've got the hair for it.

277
00:11:17,399 --> 00:11:18,833
So what does it look like?

278
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,888
Do I owe a lot of money? I 
don't have much money.

279
00:11:20,890 --> 00:11:22,848
Mm-hmm, I can see that.

280
00:11:23,936 --> 00:11:25,285
Who did this one?

281
00:11:26,373 --> 00:11:27,677
Why?

282
00:11:27,679 --> 00:11:28,983
Is it that bad?

283
00:11:28,985 --> 00:11:30,506
They are flawless.

284
00:11:30,508 --> 00:11:31,942
Oh...

285
00:11:31,944 --> 00:11:33,335
Actually it was my son.

286
00:11:33,337 --> 00:11:36,217
Why 
Don't you just use it for the audit?

287
00:11:36,220 --> 00:11:38,260
He's 11.

288
00:11:38,263 --> 00:11:39,647
Did an 11 year old do this?

289
00:11:39,650 --> 00:11:41,462
Actually, maybe he was then 
nine.

290
00:11:41,465 --> 00:11:43,598
I'm not good with birthdays.

291
00:11:47,786 --> 00:11:49,525
Hello.

292
00:11:49,527 --> 00:11:51,092
Hello.

293
00:11:51,095 --> 00:11:52,398
Playing with your trains?

294
00:11:52,401 --> 00:11:54,181
I punish myself by looking at them,

295
00:11:54,184 --> 00:11:56,184
but not allowing myself to run them.

296
00:11:56,186 --> 00:11:58,012
You don't have to punish yourself.

297
00:11:58,014 --> 00:12:00,188
Because you prefer to do it? That's fair.

298
00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:02,006
No.

299
00:12:02,009 --> 00:12:04,107
It's okay. I deserve it.

300
00:12:05,627 --> 00:12:07,236
Really...

301
00:12:07,239 --> 00:12:09,979
I want you to represent us at the audit.

302
00:12:09,982 --> 00:12:11,808
But I ruined everything.

303
00:12:11,810 --> 00:12:12,999
You did.

304
00:12:13,002 --> 00:12:14,654
But I also know whether someone is smart enough

305
00:12:14,657 --> 00:12:16,920
to get us out of here, that's you.

306
00:12:18,730 --> 00:12:21,475
Why did you change your mind?

307
00:12:21,478 --> 00:12:22,762
No reason.

308
00:12:22,765 --> 00:12:24,530
What did the accountant say?

309
00:12:24,533 --> 00:12:25,733
Nothing.

310
00:12:25,736 --> 00:12:27,975
They said my return 
was perfect, wasn't it?

311
00:12:29,436 --> 00:12:31,438
Play with your trains.

312
00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,204
Why do you read the Bible?

313
00:12:39,207 --> 00:12:40,683
I felt bad about last night,

314
00:12:40,686 --> 00:12:42,842
so i thought it might be good for me.

315
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:45,150
Where are you going with this?

316
00:12:45,153 --> 00:12:47,875
Nowhere, I just want to make you happy.

317
00:12:47,878 --> 00:12:49,480
Uh huh.

318
00:12:49,483 --> 00:12:50,917
“And the man increased

319
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,181
extraordinary, and had many cattle,

320
00:12:53,184 --> 00:12:55,097
and maidservants and male servants,

321
00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:58,152
- and camels and donkeys.' 
- Okay, stop.

322
00:12:58,155 --> 00:13:00,204
What? I just read from Genesis.

323
00:13:00,206 --> 00:13:03,170
- Well, stop it. 
- Fine.

324
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:05,035
Let's try Exodus.

325
00:13:05,037 --> 00:13:06,341
“And on the seventh

326
00:13:06,343 --> 00:13:08,256
day you will rest:

327
00:13:08,258 --> 00:13:11,022
that your ox and your donkey may rest.”

328
00:13:11,025 --> 00:13:12,764
That's it, you're grounded.

329
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:14,071
For reading the Bible?

330
00:13:14,074 --> 00:13:16,437
The way you do it 
, yes. Go to your room.

331
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:17,830
Okay.

332
00:13:17,832 --> 00:13:19,223
I don't have a donkey.

333
00:13:19,225 --> 00:13:21,182
But if I did, I would 
I leave here.

334
00:13:21,184 --> 00:13:23,140
Hello.

335
00:13:23,142 --> 00:13:25,428
I'm George Cooper. 
This is my son Sheldon.

336
00:13:25,431 --> 00:13:27,535
Yes, we spoke on the phone.

337
00:13:27,538 --> 00:13:29,451
You look exactly as you sound.

338
00:13:29,453 --> 00:13:30,669
Not everyone does that.

339
00:13:30,671 --> 00:13:32,586
- Should we start? 
- Yes.

340
00:13:35,296 --> 00:13:37,035
I realize that some people

341
00:13:37,038 --> 00:13:39,324
can find out the ins and outs of tax law

342
00:13:39,327 --> 00:13:43,030
a bit annoying, so stand 
allow me to brighten up this story.

343
00:13:43,032 --> 00:13:46,136
<font style="vertical-align: inherit;"></font>
Imagine this is a test of strength instead of an audit

344
00:13:46,139 --> 00:13:48,941
between two warriors in the most brutal

345
00:13:48,944 --> 00:13:51,613
There is an exciting form of fighting...

346
00:13:51,616 --> 00:13:53,127
chess.

347
00:13:54,826 --> 00:13:56,678
Am I the only one who just got chills?

348
00:13:56,681 --> 00:13:59,132
Let's start with business deductions

349
00:13:59,135 --> 00:14:02,005
of Schedule A on the tax return dated

350
00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:03,659
1989.

351
00:14:03,661 --> 00:14:05,878
I know, bold opening move.

352
00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:08,098
Don't worry, I came to play.

353
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:09,230
Happy about it.

354
00:14:09,232 --> 00:14:11,188
I have those receipts here.

355
00:14:11,190 --> 00:14:12,941
Dated, marked...

356
00:14:12,944 --> 00:14:14,541
and specified.

357
00:14:15,803 --> 00:14:17,238
I told you.

358
00:14:20,417 --> 00:14:23,548
The next three 
we fought it out for hours.

359
00:14:23,550 --> 00:14:25,246
Two mighty brains

360
00:14:25,248 --> 00:14:28,640
locked in deadly tax code fight.

361
00:14:30,079 --> 00:14:32,688
Justify this expense.

362
00:14:32,690 --> 00:14:35,592
Our AGI was less than 50,000.

363
00:14:35,595 --> 00:14:37,899
Incorrect classification.

364
00:14:37,902 --> 00:14:40,475
Transferred from 
previous financial year.

365
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,541
The receipt says barbecue sauce.

366
00:14:44,544 --> 00:14:46,721
- Dad. 
- Sorry.

367
00:14:50,403 --> 00:14:51,694
So you are

368
00:14:51,697 --> 00:14:53,823
remarkably well versed in tax law.

369
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:55,042
- Thank you. 
- It's nice of you

370
00:14:55,045 --> 00:14:56,349
to file your parents' tax return

371
00:14:56,352 --> 00:14:57,481
free every year.

372
00:14:57,484 --> 00:14:58,866
Oh, I'm not doing it for free.

373
00:14:58,869 --> 00:15:01,565
Then my father buys me a model train.

374
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,761
Interesting.

375
00:15:03,764 --> 00:15:05,460
So you accept payment

376
00:15:05,462 --> 00:15:07,853
even though you are not 
certified tax advisor?

377
00:15:10,693 --> 00:15:12,956
In clear violation of federal law.

378
00:15:14,761 --> 00:15:16,561
Check.

379
00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:20,268
I had fallen straight into his trap.

380
00:15:21,172 --> 00:15:23,475
Excuse me, I have to go to the toilet.

381
00:15:28,441 --> 00:15:31,186
So, catch that Cowboys game last...

382
00:15:31,189 --> 00:15:33,320
- No. 
- Yes.

383
00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,448
Ballards.

384
00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:40,060
- Hello. 
- Hi, how are you?

385
00:15:40,062 --> 00:15:42,627
You'll be happy to know that I 
I went out for a check-up.

386
00:15:42,629 --> 00:15:44,281
Fantastic.

387
00:15:44,283 --> 00:15:45,811
Yes, great, just great.

388
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:48,024
And now you can keep quiet about it.

389
00:15:48,026 --> 00:15:49,108
Well, how did it go?

390
00:15:49,111 --> 00:15:50,676
Good news, bad news.

391
00:15:50,679 --> 00:15:53,247
- Oh oh. 
- The good news is that I'm doing well.

392
00:15:53,249 --> 00:15:55,858
Well, it isn't 
reassuring to know?

393
00:15:55,860 --> 00:15:57,092
Don't be complacent.

394
00:15:57,095 --> 00:15:58,487
So what's the bad news?

395
00:15:59,905 --> 00:16:01,956
He wants me to have a colonoscopy.

396
00:16:01,959 --> 00:16:03,039
Very good!

397
00:16:03,041 --> 00:16:05,280
Oh, my god, we can do it together!

398
00:16:05,283 --> 00:16:07,233
Can't you just feel the romance?

399
00:16:07,236 --> 00:16:09,397
No, weird.

400
00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:15,182
There you are.

401
00:16:15,184 --> 00:16:16,879
Hey, we're waiting for you.

402
00:16:16,881 --> 00:16:19,186
I want to go home.

403
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:20,752
What are you talking about?

404
00:16:20,754 --> 00:16:21,905
We're not done yet.

405
00:16:21,908 --> 00:16:23,081
Yes we are.

406
00:16:23,084 --> 00:16:24,712
I made a mistake that will cost us money

407
00:16:24,715 --> 00:16:26,932
a lot of money that we don't have.

408
00:16:26,934 --> 00:16:28,762
I feel so stupid.

409
00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:33,938
Hello.

410
00:16:33,941 --> 00:16:35,593
It's okay to feel stupid.

411
00:16:35,595 --> 00:16:37,204
No, it isn't.

412
00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,467
It just means you're growing.

413
00:16:39,469 --> 00:16:41,860
If you don't look back 
and thinks you were stupid,

414
00:16:41,862 --> 00:16:44,080
than you, then have 
taught you nothing.

415
00:16:44,082 --> 00:16:46,082
So what do we do?

416
00:16:46,084 --> 00:16:47,374
We're going back in there.

417
00:16:47,377 --> 00:16:48,606
What if we lose?

418
00:16:48,609 --> 00:16:50,761
Doesn't matter...win or lose,

419
00:16:50,764 --> 00:16:52,262
We're not giving up, okay?

420
00:16:52,264 --> 00:16:53,785
Now let's go in and show them off

421
00:16:53,787 --> 00:16:55,439
what we're made of... what do you say?

422
00:16:55,441 --> 00:16:58,138
I heard you exactly 
gives the same pep talk at football matches.

423
00:16:58,140 --> 00:16:59,980
Well, I didn't have any 
special prepared.

424
00:16:59,983 --> 00:17:01,228
That's okay.

425
00:17:01,230 --> 00:17:03,057
I feel well peppered.

426
00:17:09,629 --> 00:17:11,325
So...

427
00:17:11,327 --> 00:17:13,024
Where were we?

428
00:17:14,547 --> 00:17:16,366
Check.

429
00:17:18,812 --> 00:17:20,682
It's true.

430
00:17:20,684 --> 00:17:22,336
I made a mistake.

431
00:17:22,338 --> 00:17:24,949
But my dad taught me that that's okay.

432
00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:28,733
Guard.

433
00:17:28,735 --> 00:17:30,300
My father is a teacher.

434
00:17:30,302 --> 00:17:33,996
What does that mean my 
tax return was not work for hire,

435
00:17:33,999 --> 00:17:36,741
but an economics lesson that 
he taught me.

436
00:17:39,137 --> 00:17:42,138
That's why the train was he 
for me bought no payment

437
00:17:42,140 --> 00:17:44,417
it was a reward for work without a permit

438
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:46,492
for successfully completing my lesson.

439
00:17:50,045 --> 00:17:52,147
So it is not against the law,

440
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:54,941
and since the value of the 
train is less than $10,000,

441
00:17:54,944 --> 00:17:57,849
there is no additional gift tax.

442
00:17:57,851 --> 00:17:59,984
Checkmate.

443
00:18:10,299 --> 00:18:12,257
Well, I guess that wraps it up.

444
00:18:13,302 --> 00:18:15,084
It's over? What happened?

445
00:18:15,087 --> 00:18:16,216
We won.

446
00:18:16,218 --> 00:18:17,772
Wait, don't we owe anything?

447
00:18:17,775 --> 00:18:19,784
No, your returns are all fine.

448
00:18:19,786 --> 00:18:21,225
Well done.

449
00:18:21,228 --> 00:18:22,263
Thank you.

450
00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:23,744
Your son is extremely intelligent.

451
00:18:23,747 --> 00:18:25,877
- Yes. 
- I hope you check us next year,

452
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,615
so I can run circles around you again.

453
00:18:27,618 --> 00:18:29,620
Until he says something stupid 
. Let's go.

454
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:42,016
I can't believe we have to drink

455
00:18:42,018 --> 00:18:43,931
so much of that waste.

456
00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:47,195
The most important thing is that 
we can do it together, baby.

457
00:18:47,197 --> 00:18:49,358
You're so full of bullshit.

458
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:53,413
Well, not for much longer.

459
00:18:53,416 --> 00:18:56,293
Excuse me, the festivities have begun.

460
00:18:56,296 --> 00:18:58,249
You're taking that whole thing with you?

461
00:18:58,251 --> 00:18:59,687
I'll go for a while.

462
00:18:59,690 --> 00:19:04,288
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