1 00:00:42,830 --> 00:00:48,110 the day we met you're the kind of girl I can't forget 2 00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:54,750 still haven't finished yet but you make it hard 3 00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:57,290 when you're soaking wet so 4 00:01:33,030 --> 00:01:34,970 May 21st, Shermer College. 5 00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:37,610 One fateful day spent in detention. 6 00:01:38,350 --> 00:01:39,710 Five undergraduates. 7 00:01:40,230 --> 00:01:43,190 Three dicks, two chicks with zero in common. 8 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,970 Before this day, we didn't even know there was detention in college. 9 00:01:47,410 --> 00:01:50,490 Before this day, we were just five bad stereotypes. 10 00:01:50,970 --> 00:01:54,310 To you, to each other, to ourselves. 11 00:01:55,170 --> 00:01:58,470 But we learned that there was one thing that could bring us all together. 12 00:01:59,610 --> 00:02:01,050 Welcome to detention. 13 00:02:01,850 --> 00:02:07,010 I'm Dean Verna, and you are losers spending your Saturday in detention. 14 00:02:07,390 --> 00:02:09,570 Well, except me. I'm no loser. 15 00:02:10,490 --> 00:02:11,530 Maybe you are. 16 00:02:11,930 --> 00:02:18,210 But you are sitting next to a calculator watch here, and he most definitely is. 17 00:02:18,990 --> 00:02:21,370 And in this school, we teach guilt by association. 18 00:02:21,710 --> 00:02:25,310 So, just maybe you are. 19 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:46,120 But especially him. 20 00:02:46,660 --> 00:02:49,180 Have a seat, young man. You're tardy. 21 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,200 I don't feel tardy. 22 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:58,680 Okay, kids. 23 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:04,940 You're going to spend the next eight hours writing a two -page essay on just 24 00:03:04,940 --> 00:03:07,860 the hell you think you are and why you're in detention. 25 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,320 Question? Yeah. 26 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,100 We're all legally adults. 27 00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:14,820 And this is college. 28 00:03:16,260 --> 00:03:17,880 Why is there detention at all? 29 00:03:19,420 --> 00:03:20,420 Other questions? 30 00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:22,220 Uh, yeah. 31 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:26,340 You know the hooker out back by the dumpster? The one who gives everyone 32 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:27,540 gonorrhea on smoke breaks? 33 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:30,720 Uh, does she know that you've been raiding her wardrobe? 34 00:03:31,740 --> 00:03:32,740 That's detention. 35 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:40,800 Oh. And her name is Melinda. 36 00:03:54,730 --> 00:03:55,730 Yeah, turn it up. 37 00:03:56,350 --> 00:03:57,350 Yeah, to 11. 38 00:04:02,510 --> 00:04:03,850 Teen angst. 39 00:04:27,530 --> 00:04:28,530 Uh -oh. 40 00:04:28,810 --> 00:04:29,810 Hear that, princess? 41 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:33,290 You know what that means? That means time to get it on. 42 00:04:36,210 --> 00:04:37,210 You know what? 43 00:04:37,370 --> 00:04:39,610 Why don't you watch your mouth around the lady, cunt? 44 00:04:40,530 --> 00:04:41,529 Thank you. 45 00:04:41,530 --> 00:04:42,530 You're fucking welcome. 46 00:04:44,070 --> 00:04:46,030 Come on, baby, let's just get it on. 47 00:04:46,890 --> 00:04:49,070 Gag. I can make that happen. 48 00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:50,990 Double gag. 49 00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:54,230 For that, I'll need help. What do you say, champ? 50 00:04:54,710 --> 00:04:57,630 I know you're a team player, but are you a double team player? 51 00:05:00,150 --> 00:05:03,570 You know what? As far as both of us are concerned, you don't even exist. 52 00:05:05,170 --> 00:05:08,070 Well, I guess it's a good old menage a moi then. 53 00:05:08,410 --> 00:05:09,410 Right, old buddy? 54 00:05:10,110 --> 00:05:11,390 Keep it down in there! 55 00:05:12,630 --> 00:05:13,630 Spoiled shit. 56 00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,350 Hey, Princess. 57 00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:25,970 Who would you rather do? 58 00:05:26,570 --> 00:05:29,410 Me, or the virgin Barry here? 59 00:05:30,210 --> 00:05:31,210 Who, me? 60 00:05:31,470 --> 00:05:32,490 I'm no virgin. 61 00:05:34,390 --> 00:05:36,310 Oh, sorry. 62 00:05:39,650 --> 00:05:42,850 Clearly a stud like you has done more deflowering than Agent Warren. 63 00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:44,870 No, it's not what I'm saying. 64 00:05:45,370 --> 00:05:47,830 I've been with plenty of girls. I mean... 65 00:05:48,060 --> 00:05:51,820 Women. Shit, you picked enough cherries to be an honorary member of United Farm 66 00:05:51,820 --> 00:05:56,480 Workers. No, it's just... I don't really want to discuss it right now. 67 00:05:57,180 --> 00:05:58,740 What, are you afraid of shocking her? 68 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:02,820 No, it's just... It sounds totally fake. 69 00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:09,140 But when the barrel was recovered, the only thing left was his right arm and a 70 00:06:09,140 --> 00:06:10,140 Hansel Bar mustache. 71 00:06:10,820 --> 00:06:11,820 Wow. 72 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:17,800 Geez, are all residents of Honeymoon Waterfall border towns as... 73 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:23,320 as you are no not all but most but i think i've told you everything i know 74 00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:28,540 the waterfall part and i mean clearly you're an awesome dude with a cool head 75 00:06:28,540 --> 00:06:33,920 and not a dweeb and this memory is totally not fake maybe i need to educate 76 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:38,680 about the honeymoon part well this is supposed to be an educational trip so uh 77 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:40,600 educate away baby 78 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:04,220 story must have gotten you quite excited then that's the way you tell it 79 00:10:11,980 --> 00:10:13,640 Get out of here. 80 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:31,000 Get all nice and fucking wet. 81 00:10:39,660 --> 00:10:40,720 I took up all the procedures. 82 00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:51,080 That feels tight at once. 83 00:11:14,990 --> 00:11:15,990 That tastes good. 84 00:12:18,570 --> 00:12:20,170 How about you get that cock in me then? 85 00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:23,290 Come on then, get in his face. 86 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:33,830 It's so fucking tight. 87 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:43,210 It's so fucking tight. 88 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,120 Maybe I'll tell this story. 89 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,520 I don't want to get this stuck, you know. 90 00:13:28,180 --> 00:13:29,360 Don't go mentioning names. 91 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:14,960 hard. 92 00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:08,370 Thank you. 93 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:28,280 Thank you. 94 00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:08,980 Right inside me tight little cunt. 95 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:22,360 I always say this is a position where you can just feel it going straight up 96 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:23,359 your cunt. 97 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:24,820 It's so fucking horrible. 98 00:27:08,970 --> 00:27:10,210 Bullshit. What? 99 00:27:10,430 --> 00:27:11,430 That's how it happened. 100 00:27:13,670 --> 00:27:14,670 Bullshit. 101 00:27:15,890 --> 00:27:16,970 God damn it. 102 00:27:18,210 --> 00:27:22,110 This is detention, not a haunted hayride ice cream social. 103 00:27:22,790 --> 00:27:24,210 No talking. 104 00:27:24,910 --> 00:27:25,930 And why was that door closed? 105 00:27:26,970 --> 00:27:27,970 Answer me! 106 00:27:29,510 --> 00:27:30,690 No. More. 107 00:27:30,910 --> 00:27:31,910 Tic Tacs! 108 00:27:32,730 --> 00:27:33,730 Get on your essay. 109 00:27:34,710 --> 00:27:35,770 Evening waste, Lloyd. 110 00:27:39,470 --> 00:27:40,470 Blow me! 111 00:27:57,360 --> 00:27:58,059 Blow me. 112 00:27:58,060 --> 00:27:59,260 You like Saturdays here? 113 00:27:59,580 --> 00:28:01,360 Because you just got another in detention. 114 00:28:02,360 --> 00:28:04,100 Great. I'll pencil it in. 115 00:28:13,220 --> 00:28:14,220 That all? 116 00:28:15,900 --> 00:28:18,360 You free a month from now. Say, Saturday. 117 00:28:18,740 --> 00:28:22,000 Because that Saturday and the one after that, your ass, is mine. 118 00:28:22,420 --> 00:28:26,380 But I'm saving my ass for marriage. Well, bend over, boyfriend, because now 119 00:28:26,380 --> 00:28:28,760 five. Had enough, bub? 120 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:31,420 Let's just make it a nice round number. 121 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:33,200 I like things round. 122 00:28:34,580 --> 00:28:38,880 You're all mine for six Saturdays. You done making things hard for yourself? 123 00:28:39,340 --> 00:28:41,220 Maybe you can make it hard for me instead. 124 00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,900 Well, your new friends are certainly impressed. 125 00:28:46,380 --> 00:28:49,020 Ooh, he's such a bad boy. 126 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,060 If only someone could tame him. 127 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:17,100 So the thesis of this particular ethnographic film was that they liked 128 00:29:17,100 --> 00:29:21,360 wild. As a sorority girl, do you often find yourself going wild? 129 00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:24,160 I'm not going to get in trouble just because you want to flirt. 130 00:29:24,940 --> 00:29:26,020 Shut up. 131 00:29:27,380 --> 00:29:29,360 Come on, how many beads for a peek? 132 00:29:29,740 --> 00:29:30,740 Shut up! 133 00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:34,100 Show us your tits. 134 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,020 Show us your tits. 135 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:40,960 Show us your tits. Show us your tits. Shut your mouth, sheep, or I'll have the 136 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:41,960 wires shut. 137 00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:46,030 Look, I think we can all agree that some girls go wild. 138 00:29:46,290 --> 00:29:51,310 And while a small subsection of those girls are in sororities, not all 139 00:29:51,310 --> 00:29:52,370 girls... Shut up! 140 00:29:53,550 --> 00:29:58,530 Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. 141 00:29:58,750 --> 00:30:01,430 Okay, if I show them, will you just drop it? 142 00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:03,730 Yeah, of course. 143 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:47,180 Show us your bush. 144 00:30:48,020 --> 00:30:49,460 You are a pig. 145 00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:57,800 Show us your bush. Show us your bush. 146 00:30:58,060 --> 00:30:59,540 Show us your bush. 147 00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:05,220 Show us your bush. Show us your bush. I'm certainly going to pound your ass. 148 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,960 That sounds real tempting, Mitch Gaylord. 149 00:31:08,420 --> 00:31:11,580 You're going to have to get in line behind the dean before you get behind 150 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:13,880 Show us your bush. 151 00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:16,320 If you get me mad, you're seriously dead. 152 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:18,320 Seriously dead? 153 00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:19,600 Really? 154 00:31:20,900 --> 00:31:22,140 Couldn't I have a better nickname? 155 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,000 Introducing myself as seriously dead sounds like a character out of a Harry 156 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:26,859 Potter book. 157 00:31:26,860 --> 00:31:29,040 Alright, I got one for you. How about two clocks? 158 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:31,880 And I'll show you how you got it. One by me clocking you, and the other you 159 00:31:31,880 --> 00:31:32,880 clocking out. 160 00:31:33,300 --> 00:31:34,720 Okay, two clocks. 161 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:37,400 It's a little more Dances with Wolves, but I like it. 162 00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:39,620 Tick -tock. 163 00:31:39,900 --> 00:31:40,900 Quit it! 164 00:31:45,490 --> 00:31:46,730 Okay, I'll back off. 165 00:31:47,850 --> 00:31:49,390 If Count Jocula here does. 166 00:31:52,730 --> 00:31:54,650 Stop it! Shut up, Ginger. 167 00:31:54,910 --> 00:31:56,150 This is between the two of us. 168 00:31:56,730 --> 00:31:58,670 Well, if you want to get between the two of us. 169 00:31:59,430 --> 00:32:00,430 Come on. 170 00:32:30,179 --> 00:32:31,540 I'm a dirty rubber slut. 171 00:32:31,980 --> 00:32:33,600 Know if you want to put it in me? 172 00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:36,880 You can say anything about using a rubber. 173 00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:41,500 Oh, come on, baby. I'm just trying to make you feel good. That's what you're 174 00:32:41,500 --> 00:32:42,500 paying me for. 175 00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:44,600 How much am I paying you again? 176 00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:47,320 What, are you a cop or something? 177 00:32:48,180 --> 00:32:50,520 Nah, baby. I just want to know what I'm paying for. 178 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:54,440 Well, 50 if you want a blowjob. 179 00:32:55,100 --> 00:32:57,240 75 if you want me to defrost it. 180 00:32:58,100 --> 00:33:02,540 150 if you want a little piggy dance, 250 for around the world. 181 00:33:03,620 --> 00:33:06,100 Stop right there, baby. You had me at deep throat. 182 00:33:06,980 --> 00:33:09,280 Okay, baby. Go ahead. Put it in. 183 00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:10,680 Don't come in my eye. 184 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:13,800 Okay, baby. Here it comes. You ready? 185 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,240 Oh, yeah. 186 00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:53,130 You have exactly half an hour to eat your lunch right where you're seated. 187 00:33:54,650 --> 00:33:56,610 This isn't catered. 188 00:33:57,790 --> 00:33:59,190 Excuse me, Dean Verna. 189 00:34:00,290 --> 00:34:01,730 What about beverage service? 190 00:34:02,290 --> 00:34:04,410 Or am I just supposed to drink this whiskey neat? 191 00:34:05,130 --> 00:34:07,570 Alcohol? On a college campus? 192 00:34:08,370 --> 00:34:10,469 Now that's the last straw. Come on. 193 00:34:57,710 --> 00:34:58,710 you 194 00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,200 Hey, isn't that the flask that Dean Verna took? 195 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:35,780 So what's your poison? 196 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:39,360 I fucked poison. 197 00:36:40,020 --> 00:36:42,380 Well, Brett and Ricky only. 198 00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:45,680 Unskinny bop is about me. 199 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:48,140 You're full of shit. 200 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:50,740 You weren't even born when that song came out. 201 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,200 Pam and Tommy watched. 202 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:57,240 So that's why you're here? 203 00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:58,480 Because you lie? 204 00:36:59,440 --> 00:37:00,440 Badly? 205 00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:02,760 Why are you here? 206 00:37:05,380 --> 00:37:11,540 I'm here today because, uh, my old man... That is fascinating, but 207 00:37:11,540 --> 00:37:17,480 I heard that you were banging the pep squad. 208 00:37:20,120 --> 00:37:21,140 It's complicated. 209 00:37:22,660 --> 00:37:23,660 Is it? 210 00:37:23,900 --> 00:37:26,510 Or... Are you just complicated? 211 00:37:26,910 --> 00:37:32,290 I mean, you're put into this box where everybody's supposed to see you like 212 00:37:32,290 --> 00:37:39,090 you're some big dumb jock, but really you're just a super compassionate guy 213 00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,950 trying to break through everyone's preconceived notions. 214 00:37:54,630 --> 00:37:55,630 mister. 215 00:37:57,290 --> 00:38:01,550 You think you can shame me up like some kind of awesome sexy tiger? I got news 216 00:38:01,550 --> 00:38:02,950 for you. You can't. 217 00:38:08,730 --> 00:38:14,810 As dean of the department of disobedient but legally consenting adults, I've 218 00:38:14,810 --> 00:38:16,750 crushed my share of students. 219 00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:22,510 You're not my first and, well, ethics panel decision pending. 220 00:38:23,110 --> 00:38:24,470 Probably not. 221 00:38:24,970 --> 00:38:25,970 My last. 222 00:38:27,170 --> 00:38:30,690 All you punks need is a little discipline. 223 00:38:33,530 --> 00:38:35,090 So you think you're a tough guy, huh? 224 00:38:36,950 --> 00:38:42,130 Well, I want to see how tough you really are. 225 00:38:47,590 --> 00:38:48,710 Just like I thought. 226 00:38:49,910 --> 00:38:50,910 Finally. 227 00:38:56,750 --> 00:38:59,650 That's why I'm in charge here. 228 00:41:09,580 --> 00:41:10,580 Hmm. 229 00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:39,560 Oh, yeah. 230 00:43:40,720 --> 00:43:41,920 Oh, shit. 231 00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,800 Oh, God. 232 00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:48,960 God, it's fucking bad. 233 00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:52,620 If I told you, you wouldn't believe me. 234 00:52:53,280 --> 00:52:54,520 Do you want some edamame? 235 00:52:55,520 --> 00:52:56,520 No, thanks. 236 00:52:56,760 --> 00:52:57,900 I just ate some, Mommy. 237 00:52:58,320 --> 00:52:59,320 Want a smell? 238 00:52:59,500 --> 00:53:02,040 No. Ugh, that's so mature. 239 00:53:02,420 --> 00:53:06,540 And to think, I used to consider you uncool, but then you go on without your 240 00:53:06,540 --> 00:53:07,540 stink fingers. 241 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:08,600 What was I thinking? 242 00:53:18,440 --> 00:53:19,600 And where were we, buddy? 243 00:53:20,910 --> 00:53:21,910 Oh, yeah, I remember. 244 00:53:22,570 --> 00:53:26,130 Psst! Wrestling has homoerotic undertones. 245 00:53:28,490 --> 00:53:30,650 Lucky for you, I just ate. 246 00:53:31,290 --> 00:53:34,130 I can't fight for at least a half an hour or I'll get cramps. Why don't you 247 00:53:34,130 --> 00:53:35,130 bother someone else? 248 00:53:40,110 --> 00:53:41,110 Boring. 249 00:53:42,390 --> 00:53:43,810 You know what we need, kids? 250 00:53:45,970 --> 00:53:46,970 Fear! 251 00:53:55,290 --> 00:53:56,790 Go like this. 252 00:53:59,430 --> 00:54:00,610 Now go like this. 253 00:54:03,210 --> 00:54:04,210 What is this? 254 00:54:04,550 --> 00:54:05,930 It's a double shocker. 255 00:54:08,070 --> 00:54:09,390 Breaking the law. 256 00:54:10,050 --> 00:54:16,730 Where are we going? 257 00:54:17,090 --> 00:54:18,090 His locker. 258 00:54:18,530 --> 00:54:21,430 Why? It's where I keep my stash. 259 00:54:21,690 --> 00:54:22,930 My funky stuff. 260 00:54:23,950 --> 00:54:24,950 Let's go. 261 00:54:35,470 --> 00:54:36,610 Locked up for sissies. 262 00:54:39,650 --> 00:54:41,970 And here is the funky stuff. 263 00:54:43,690 --> 00:54:44,690 Hmm? 264 00:54:44,870 --> 00:54:45,870 A record? 265 00:54:46,310 --> 00:54:47,830 I thought for sure you'd have weed. 266 00:55:15,750 --> 00:55:19,750 Still I feel it. 267 00:55:41,100 --> 00:55:42,100 Damn it. 268 00:55:42,880 --> 00:55:43,880 Not blocked. 269 00:55:44,620 --> 00:55:46,600 No. Just me. 270 00:55:47,420 --> 00:55:49,040 Dean Verna will eat you alive. 271 00:55:55,580 --> 00:55:59,600 She can punish me as hard as she likes, but you're too pretty for detention. 272 00:56:51,440 --> 00:56:53,200 Glad to see that some people can behave. 273 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:55,780 I'm afraid you're changing accommodations. 274 00:56:56,960 --> 00:56:58,120 Upgrading to first class? 275 00:56:58,840 --> 00:57:00,800 But I don't have enough frequent flyer miles. 276 00:57:01,780 --> 00:57:02,780 Come on. 277 00:57:09,380 --> 00:57:12,660 So, you really didn't learn your lesson, huh? 278 00:57:13,400 --> 00:57:16,380 What am I going to have to do to put some discipline in you this time? 279 00:57:16,700 --> 00:57:17,820 How about a handy? 280 00:57:19,560 --> 00:57:20,560 No. 281 00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:23,460 You know what you want. 282 00:57:24,440 --> 00:57:27,100 And the only way to punish you is to take it away. 283 00:57:27,680 --> 00:57:31,180 So, enjoy the broom closet, loser. 284 00:57:32,740 --> 00:57:33,780 Hey, that hurts. 285 00:57:34,940 --> 00:57:36,700 Custodial arts storage space, please. 286 00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:42,920 So, 287 00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:49,880 family 288 00:57:49,880 --> 00:57:50,980 walked into a talent agency. 289 00:57:52,170 --> 00:57:54,870 The agent says, sorry, we don't represent Family Act. 290 00:57:55,270 --> 00:57:57,950 The mother says, if you'd only see our act. 291 00:57:59,190 --> 00:58:00,350 Did you just hear something? 292 00:58:01,650 --> 00:58:02,650 No. 293 00:58:03,290 --> 00:58:09,150 A backward clown suit with a blue ribbon zucchini in one hand and a Neo -Maxi 294 00:58:09,150 --> 00:58:10,210 -Zoom dildo in the other. 295 00:58:12,790 --> 00:58:14,470 I definitely heard something. 296 00:58:32,190 --> 00:58:33,270 The aristocrat. 297 00:58:36,270 --> 00:58:38,610 What in the hell is going on in here? 298 00:58:38,910 --> 00:58:41,290 I was in my office, and I heard a hubbub. 299 00:58:41,510 --> 00:58:43,810 A hubbub? Yeah, a hubbub. 300 00:58:44,230 --> 00:58:46,770 What are you giggling about? 301 00:58:47,590 --> 00:58:48,590 Nothing. 302 00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:05,740 Nothing. I was just commenting on your awesomeness. 303 00:59:28,960 --> 00:59:30,020 Say, buddy. 304 00:59:31,660 --> 00:59:35,360 Could I borrow a copy of generic funky music for dance montages? 305 00:59:35,720 --> 00:59:39,900 You know, someone might start getting some nicer answers if you started using 306 00:59:39,900 --> 00:59:41,580 pleases and thank yous. 307 00:59:52,780 --> 00:59:53,960 Keys to the AV. 308 00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,580 Um... Now. 309 00:59:58,780 --> 00:59:59,780 Pretty please? 310 01:00:00,560 --> 01:00:05,000 You know, The Audio Visual Club is not a right, it's a responsibility. 311 01:00:34,210 --> 01:00:40,710 And when the sun begins to shine, I want 312 01:00:40,710 --> 01:00:43,690 to be in that number. 313 01:00:43,950 --> 01:00:50,750 When the sun begins to shine. And when the sun begins 314 01:00:50,750 --> 01:00:51,770 to shine. 315 01:01:05,790 --> 01:01:06,790 Thank you. 316 01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:50,580 This morning I was all like, why am I even here? 317 01:01:51,880 --> 01:01:53,080 Why are you here? 318 01:01:53,420 --> 01:01:54,420 Why are you here? 319 01:01:57,380 --> 01:01:58,380 Teen angst. 320 01:01:59,960 --> 01:02:01,760 I'm here because I ate the class banana. 321 01:02:03,580 --> 01:02:05,160 Teacher thought I was trying to be funny. 322 01:02:06,520 --> 01:02:07,940 It was sexuality 101. 323 01:02:08,640 --> 01:02:11,940 Turns out it was the banana they use to practice rolling on condoms. 324 01:02:13,740 --> 01:02:15,060 Explains why it was so chewy. 325 01:02:18,030 --> 01:02:20,230 I still taste sperm inside every time I swallow. 326 01:02:25,050 --> 01:02:26,490 I'm here for tapping some ass. 327 01:02:27,710 --> 01:02:34,650 Lisa Lester's and her friends Lori and Leslie, their asses were all tapping, 328 01:02:34,650 --> 01:02:35,650 whole ass -tapping incident. 329 01:02:36,590 --> 01:02:37,590 That was you? 330 01:02:38,290 --> 01:02:43,810 It was after the game, and I was the only one left in the locker room. 331 01:02:45,380 --> 01:02:48,760 That's when Lisa, Lori, and Leslie stopped by to congratulate me. 332 01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:54,080 That was an awesome game. 333 01:02:54,460 --> 01:02:56,080 Even though we totally lost. 334 01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:58,000 We still wanted to thank you. 335 01:02:58,680 --> 01:03:04,060 Is there any way that we can... Well, actually, your support's the best, you 336 01:03:04,060 --> 01:03:08,000 know? Is there any way we can thank you other than jock support? 337 01:03:09,900 --> 01:03:13,320 Nah, I gotta go do a few cool -down laps, but thanks anyways. 338 01:03:13,820 --> 01:03:14,820 Aww. 339 01:03:15,470 --> 01:03:17,530 And then I thought of what my old man would say. 340 01:03:19,210 --> 01:03:21,950 Son, bang cheerleaders whenever you get the chance. 341 01:03:24,270 --> 01:03:25,270 Actually, wait. 342 01:04:25,710 --> 01:04:26,710 Oh. 343 01:28:41,870 --> 01:28:42,870 That's detention! 344 01:28:46,490 --> 01:28:48,190 My old man flipped when he found out. 345 01:28:49,190 --> 01:28:50,190 Yelled at me. 346 01:28:50,790 --> 01:28:51,990 Spanked me in front of the whole team. 347 01:28:53,110 --> 01:28:54,110 Even the mascot. 348 01:28:54,770 --> 01:28:55,770 Skipping. 349 01:28:56,570 --> 01:28:57,570 Fighting cock. 350 01:28:57,750 --> 01:29:01,310 Sounds like your old man and my old man should go in on group therapy rates 351 01:29:01,310 --> 01:29:02,310 together. 352 01:29:04,390 --> 01:29:05,390 Teen angst. 353 01:29:11,790 --> 01:29:13,310 What would you do for a million dollars? 354 01:29:17,170 --> 01:29:19,550 Who would you do for a million dollars? 355 01:29:23,750 --> 01:29:25,150 Who would I do for a million bucks? 356 01:29:28,430 --> 01:29:30,190 I'd do one of those pro volleyball girls. 357 01:29:30,950 --> 01:29:32,090 They feel call and tan. 358 01:29:33,310 --> 01:29:35,370 They could spike my balls any day of the week. 359 01:29:36,070 --> 01:29:37,990 You're missing the point, though. What do you mean? 360 01:29:38,690 --> 01:29:39,690 That'd be awesome. 361 01:29:40,250 --> 01:29:41,250 I'd fuck a hot chick. 362 01:29:41,770 --> 01:29:42,770 I'd get a million bucks. 363 01:29:42,950 --> 01:29:48,910 The point is, who would be so awful that they'd have to pay you a million 364 01:29:48,910 --> 01:29:49,910 dollars to fuck up? 365 01:29:50,170 --> 01:29:51,170 Oh, okay. 366 01:29:53,570 --> 01:29:55,470 I'd fuck one of those female bodybuilders. 367 01:29:55,830 --> 01:29:57,230 Yeah, those dudes are awful. 368 01:29:57,570 --> 01:30:00,070 What? What do you mean? They're super hot. 369 01:30:00,750 --> 01:30:04,370 I mean, of course you'd want the million bucks up front, you know, just in case 370 01:30:04,370 --> 01:30:05,730 she broke your spine while she was fucking you. 371 01:30:06,390 --> 01:30:08,230 I'll never understand jocks. 372 01:30:11,630 --> 01:30:13,290 I'd screw the dweeb over here. 373 01:30:14,090 --> 01:30:15,510 Ugh, yuck. 374 01:30:16,270 --> 01:30:17,450 Hey, I'm right here. 375 01:30:18,190 --> 01:30:20,330 Do you have any idea how gross that is? 376 01:30:21,030 --> 01:30:22,170 Hey, that hurt. 377 01:30:22,850 --> 01:30:25,390 First, I'd handcuff him. 378 01:30:26,630 --> 01:30:30,050 Then, I'd fuck him in the ass with a strap -on. 379 01:30:30,770 --> 01:30:37,410 And when I made him cum, and I know I could make him cum, I'd force him to eat 380 01:30:37,410 --> 01:30:39,050 my sticky... 381 01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:41,660 Pussy meat stained panties. 382 01:30:43,760 --> 01:30:46,760 Tempting, but no thank you. I'm a vegan. 383 01:30:47,380 --> 01:30:48,960 That is fucked up. 384 01:30:52,800 --> 01:30:53,880 Who would you do? 385 01:30:54,880 --> 01:30:56,260 I don't really want to play anymore. 386 01:30:56,620 --> 01:30:58,640 You started it. You have to play. 387 01:30:59,600 --> 01:31:01,400 Would you fuck the janitor? 388 01:31:01,780 --> 01:31:02,780 No way. 389 01:31:04,100 --> 01:31:06,180 What about Dean Burnham? Would you fuck her? 390 01:31:06,520 --> 01:31:07,520 Ew, her? 391 01:31:09,930 --> 01:31:12,550 Who the fuck would you fuck then? 392 01:31:13,030 --> 01:31:18,370 God, why am I even answering this? I mean, I don't have to divulge my 393 01:31:18,370 --> 01:31:20,590 to just a group of strangers. 394 01:31:21,390 --> 01:31:22,390 Strangers? 395 01:31:23,110 --> 01:31:25,610 Strangers? We're detention buddies. 396 01:31:26,150 --> 01:31:27,490 Are you made of stone? 397 01:31:28,410 --> 01:31:31,250 Did our montage shenanigans mean nothing to you? 398 01:31:31,910 --> 01:31:34,950 Yeah, come on, just tell us. I mean, just open up. 399 01:31:37,130 --> 01:31:38,130 Princess. 400 01:31:38,690 --> 01:31:40,080 Fine. Yes. 401 01:31:40,760 --> 01:31:44,520 I guess I do just about anybody because I'm a big old slut. 402 01:31:46,500 --> 01:31:50,580 You and every other girl at this college, this isn't the place to 403 01:31:50,580 --> 01:31:51,960 sexually. Whatever. 404 01:31:55,800 --> 01:31:58,020 You asshole. You're a shit. 405 01:32:00,000 --> 01:32:01,000 It's a trap. 406 01:32:01,760 --> 01:32:04,640 If you don't like sex, you're a prude. 407 01:32:05,720 --> 01:32:08,060 If you hang out in alleys and... 408 01:32:08,410 --> 01:32:13,330 Fuck homeless guys in exchange for cheap whiskey and shopping carts. 409 01:32:13,890 --> 01:32:15,070 You're a whore. 410 01:32:16,930 --> 01:32:18,330 That's so true. 411 01:32:40,720 --> 01:32:44,020 I don't have time for another montage, so I'm going to get back to the closet 412 01:32:44,020 --> 01:32:46,360 before the dean finds out that the brooms are hanging out alone. 413 01:32:47,160 --> 01:32:48,160 See you later. 414 01:32:48,500 --> 01:32:49,339 Later, man. 415 01:32:49,340 --> 01:32:50,340 Later. 416 01:33:09,770 --> 01:33:10,770 Rock, paper, scissors. 417 01:33:11,250 --> 01:33:12,250 All right. 418 01:33:12,590 --> 01:33:13,730 All right. Ready? 419 01:33:14,570 --> 01:33:15,950 One, two, three. 420 01:33:16,670 --> 01:33:17,670 What the hell is that? 421 01:33:17,990 --> 01:33:18,990 What's that? 422 01:33:19,370 --> 01:33:20,370 It's a dildo. 423 01:33:20,570 --> 01:33:22,450 There's no dildos in rock, paper, scissors. 424 01:33:22,950 --> 01:33:25,230 Huh. Well, I guess I'm disqualified then. 425 01:33:25,490 --> 01:33:28,250 Yeah. But it's interesting. You picked paper. That must be a sign. 426 01:33:28,710 --> 01:33:30,170 Let me know if you need any help with that. 427 01:33:31,010 --> 01:33:35,150 I knew I should have went with live long and prosper. 428 01:34:01,589 --> 01:34:03,050 Well, that's my cue. 429 01:34:03,310 --> 01:34:05,490 There's a broom closet with my name on it. 430 01:34:20,930 --> 01:34:21,930 Hi. 431 01:34:22,290 --> 01:34:23,290 Hi. 432 01:37:26,759 --> 01:37:31,240 I bet you always wanted those two. 433 01:37:31,600 --> 01:37:33,260 You never admit it though. 434 01:37:51,240 --> 01:37:53,580 Keep it open. Don't put your lips around it. Just fucking keep it open. 435 01:37:57,500 --> 01:37:58,660 You like that? 436 01:37:58,900 --> 01:37:59,900 Uh -huh. 437 01:37:59,920 --> 01:38:04,560 Please. Please slide that cock in my mouth. Eat me that dick. 438 01:46:03,850 --> 01:46:04,850 Shove it back inside. 439 01:48:17,420 --> 01:48:19,580 Lick my fucking dirty little poop chute. Come on. 440 01:48:21,480 --> 01:48:22,480 Oh, yeah. 441 01:48:23,740 --> 01:48:25,940 You like to lick the dirty hole, don't you? 442 01:48:26,180 --> 01:48:28,520 You like to lick the little fucking dirty hole. 443 01:48:28,940 --> 01:48:29,940 Oh, yeah. 444 01:48:31,200 --> 01:48:33,220 Fuck yeah. 445 01:49:19,050 --> 01:49:20,050 back inside 446 01:54:09,200 --> 01:54:11,400 fucking jizz all over my fucking ass. Come on. 447 01:54:11,620 --> 01:54:13,540 Show me how much you really like me. 448 01:54:14,000 --> 01:54:15,880 Fucking cum all over me, please. 449 01:54:16,860 --> 01:54:19,960 I just want to feel that fucking hot cum on me. 450 01:54:20,280 --> 01:54:21,280 Come on. 451 01:54:21,780 --> 01:54:25,440 Come on, my little cute goth ass. Come on, you fucking like that shit. 452 01:54:26,260 --> 01:54:29,360 You're such a bad boy. Get all that fucking cum all over me. 453 01:54:29,640 --> 01:54:31,140 Come on, you fucking whore. 454 01:54:31,580 --> 01:54:32,580 Oh, yeah. 455 01:54:34,380 --> 01:54:38,640 Give me that fucking jizz, please. 456 01:55:41,100 --> 01:55:42,200 Don't you forget about me. 457 01:56:03,700 --> 01:56:04,700 So. 458 01:56:10,030 --> 01:56:11,370 Are you really a badass? 459 01:56:11,870 --> 01:56:16,030 Are you just pretending to be tough until the right girl comes along and 460 01:56:16,030 --> 01:56:18,590 you that she can love you no matter who you really are? 461 01:56:19,630 --> 01:56:20,650 You want the truth? 462 01:56:22,410 --> 01:56:23,410 The truth. 463 01:56:24,510 --> 01:56:26,090 I'm really a very swell guy. 464 01:56:27,170 --> 01:56:28,170 Good. 465 01:57:11,960 --> 01:57:12,960 Stay right here. 466 01:57:13,920 --> 01:57:14,920 What are you going to do? 467 01:57:16,180 --> 01:57:17,180 Someone will want to show you. 468 01:57:22,540 --> 01:57:23,540 What are you doing? 469 01:57:24,920 --> 01:57:26,160 You know what I want, don't you? 470 01:57:28,180 --> 01:57:29,180 Right there. 471 01:59:53,480 --> 01:59:54,480 do this with God. 472 02:00:26,220 --> 02:00:27,220 Sure. 473 02:01:21,450 --> 02:01:22,750 Tight belts. I need 474 02:01:22,750 --> 02:01:29,710 to go thrift shopping with 475 02:01:29,710 --> 02:01:30,710 me soon. 476 02:01:32,110 --> 02:01:33,350 Gotta get over this shit. 477 02:03:23,210 --> 02:03:24,210 Thank you. 478 02:12:59,180 --> 02:13:00,640 to come back to the dungeon next week. 479 02:13:01,760 --> 02:13:02,960 So I can fuck you again. 480 02:13:04,300 --> 02:13:05,420 Okay. You promise? 481 02:13:52,240 --> 02:13:53,240 but you're a bad girl now. 482 02:13:54,400 --> 02:13:56,020 I think bad girls do it too. 483 02:14:06,300 --> 02:14:07,300 Brain, 484 02:14:08,060 --> 02:14:09,400 if I could kiss you, I would. 485 02:14:28,590 --> 02:14:29,590 Go on. 486 02:14:29,730 --> 02:14:30,730 Get. 487 02:14:37,870 --> 02:14:42,370 See you next weekend. 488 02:15:00,780 --> 02:15:01,780 Do you pearl earring? 489 02:15:03,020 --> 02:15:04,020 I can. 490 02:15:04,600 --> 02:15:09,380 Sure you can. I think it's a fair exchange for the necklace that you gave 491 02:15:09,380 --> 02:15:10,380 earlier. 492 02:15:14,780 --> 02:15:18,980 Dear Dean Verna, we still think it's nuts to have detention in college. 493 02:15:19,620 --> 02:15:22,580 And we thought you were crazy to think that we'd get anything out of it. 494 02:15:23,080 --> 02:15:24,080 But we did. 495 02:15:24,660 --> 02:15:27,900 We learned that there was one thing that could bring us all together. 496 02:15:28,700 --> 02:15:29,700 That. 497 02:15:31,530 --> 02:15:34,310 Sincerely yours, the Fuckfest Club. 498 02:16:01,480 --> 02:16:03,880 I can't forget. 499 02:16:05,020 --> 02:16:08,260 Still haven't finished yet. 500 02:16:08,560 --> 02:16:12,400 But you make it hard when you're soaking wet.