1
00:00:59,977 --> 00:01:01,445
Must you? Just here?
2
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,319
...three, two, one!
3
00:01:04,398 --> 00:01:06,400
Happy New Year!
4
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:50,243
I do.
5
00:01:52,404 --> 00:01:55,908
It now gives me
great pleasure to pronounce you...
6
00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,661
Excuse me.
7
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,935
- You all right?
8
00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,479
I'm fine.
9
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,148
- Something lodged?
- Nothing.
10
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:21,816
- Water.
- What?
11
00:02:21,892 --> 00:02:23,735
A glass of water, please.
12
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:25,858
- Where's the water?
- I don't know.
13
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,449
Oh, dear.
14
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,047
He's getting it from the font!
15
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,327
Mmm.
16
00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,466
Jesus Christ. Sorry.
17
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,421
- So sorry. Where were we?
- "I now pronounce you."
18
00:02:50,462 --> 00:02:52,840
- I now pronounce you.
- Yeah.
19
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,555
- No, thank you.
- I now pronounce you...
20
00:02:59,638 --> 00:03:02,016
...husband and wife.
21
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,607
Look at them.
22
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,535
- Aren't they adorable?
- Yes.
23
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,538
I give it a year.
24
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,636
And for those of you
who don't know me,
25
00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,718
and especially if we meet
in the bar later,
26
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:40,224
my name is,
"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"
27
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:42,898
"Danny Do-you-want-a-pint?"
28
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:44,979
Fornication...
29
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:46,817
I'll read that again.
30
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,440
For an occasion...
31
00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:49,567
like this.
32
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:52,775
I want to make sure I keep up
the traditions of being a best man.
33
00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,828
Apparently I need to get the groom
to the church on time. Tick.
34
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,451
I need to remember the rings. Did that.
And I need to...
35
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,953
have sex with a bridesmaid. Wahey!
36
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,921
I... To be fair, I wrote these, um...
before I knew they...
37
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,789
I would never have sex with a...
38
00:04:07,873 --> 00:04:10,001
Maybe when they're older.
Never say never.
39
00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,256
And keep away from Paedo Rog! Ha-ha!
40
00:04:12,335 --> 00:04:13,757
All right, Paedo?
Nice to have you.
41
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,430
He's come a long way. Good lad.
42
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:19,844
It's great to see so many people turn up
to see Josh finally tie the knot.
43
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:21,394
And about time, too.
44
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,598
Nat's got it all.
She's brilliantly clever,
45
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,058
apparently really delivers
in the bedroom.
46
00:04:26,141 --> 00:04:28,860
Like mother like daughter, eh?
He knows what I'm talking about.
47
00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,016
And I don't know about you,
48
00:04:30,020 --> 00:04:32,614
but I feel she could easily be a model,
I think we'll agree,
49
00:04:32,939 --> 00:04:34,987
if it wasn't for her nose.
50
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:37,532
When I first saw her beaver...
51
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,534
...ing away... Beavering away,
52
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,707
cooking Josh a meal,
I knew she was a real catch.
53
00:04:42,324 --> 00:04:45,453
Um, I've got no idea why
her previous boyfriend cheated on her,
54
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,957
but, uh, I'm glad he did.
55
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:48,505
Cheers to him, wherever he may be.
56
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:50,173
Probably shagging.
57
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:52,546
But, uh, no. Um, seriously, Nat.
58
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,986
You're a real eight out of ten, love.
I mean that sincerely.
59
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,472
And we're delighted you and Josh
have found each other.
60
00:04:57,547 --> 00:04:59,549
So, everyone, please,
raise your glasses
61
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,389
as we say a little toast
to Nat and Josh.
62
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,562
To Nat and Josh!
63
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,569
Nat is literally gonna be cringing
right now.
64
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,989
She hates being the centre of attention.
65
00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,692
It is impossible to imagine anyone
66
00:05:16,775 --> 00:05:19,619
looking more beautiful
than you do today, Nat.
67
00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:22,014
And I know how much you love
being the centre of attention.
68
00:05:22,072 --> 00:05:23,699
That's just one of the things
that makes us so different.
69
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,470
Because I'm a thinker, you're a doer.
70
00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:28,082
I'm laissez-faire, you're anal.
71
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,208
Hey, you dirty sod!
72
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,255
On you go.
73
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,129
I think it's fine for a man
to wear Crocs,
74
00:05:33,208 --> 00:05:35,927
and you've made it abundantly clear
you do not.
75
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:38,593
I know it's only been seven months,
76
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:42,802
and some of you think that we're crazy
for getting married, but...
77
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:47,974
all I know is,
from the first moment I saw you,
78
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,684
I knew that yours was the only face
79
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:52,728
and the only voice...
80
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,981
- that I would ever need again.
- Aw!
81
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:57,691
'Cause in that moment,
everything just changed.
82
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,994
Everything just seemed to fit
so perfectly.
83
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,616
Wahey!
84
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,040
And I'm so lucky that I feel like
I'm only just getting to know you.
85
00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:10,750
Ladies and gentlemen,
86
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,622
here's to us.
87
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,259
- Here's to us.
- Cheers!
88
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:40,617
Are you happy?
89
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:42,403
The happiest.
90
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:46,198
The best two hours and 36 minutes
of my life.
91
00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,796
You know, I had this terrible fear
92
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:56,250
that you were gonna
do some sort of novelty dance.
93
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,768
Get it on quickly, get it on quickly.
I'm so sorry, Nat.
94
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:26,492
♬ I wanna rock right now
95
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:28,289
♬ I'm Josh Moss and I came to get down
96
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:29,491
♬ You're my girl
97
00:07:29,574 --> 00:07:30,621
♬ My honey, my boo
98
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,373
♬ I was straight trippin'
when you said "I do"
99
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,955
♬ All the motherfuckers
in the house say "yo"
100
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,332
♬ There's something
my nigga's got to know
101
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,087
♬ It's the shit
to see my dawg get hitched
102
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,089
♬ Now he can make that ho his bitch
103
00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:42,091
- You can't say those things.
- Don't be a player hater.
104
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,298
Seriously, mate.
Don't hate the player, hate the game.
105
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:45,662
Am I right? Put it there, mate.
106
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,270
- Ready?
- Yeah.
107
00:08:09,114 --> 00:08:11,242
Aw. That's nice.
108
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,957
Listen, son, you know
it's not easy, don't you?
109
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:21,589
- The first year is the worst.
- Okay.
110
00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,090
- It's true.
- Thank you.
111
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,921
If you can make it through
the first year of marriage,
112
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,724
- you can make it through anything.
- Yeah.
113
00:08:28,425 --> 00:08:30,769
You know, there were times
when your father was late home
114
00:08:30,844 --> 00:08:33,597
- I used to fantasise he'd been killed.
- Did you?
115
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,023
- Mmm.
- That's nice.
116
00:08:35,098 --> 00:08:36,941
Oh, in my mind, it was always the IRA.
117
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,560
Strange, strange.
118
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,774
But things got better
because we love each other.
119
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:43,069
Tremendous, tremendous.
120
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,225
- Shall we go, yeah? This is weird.
- Yes, it's a bit weird.
121
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:01,048
Unbelievable. Just unbelievable.
122
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,890
- So, that was nine months ago.
- Mmm.
123
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:17,141
And I think even then
we knew instinctively
124
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,520
something wasn't quite right.
125
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,728
You realised you'd married
beneath yourself.
126
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,405
You thought you could be
with someone better-looking,
127
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:26,149
better body,
perhaps a professional man?
128
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:27,825
- Uh, no.
- No.
129
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:32,702
No, no, I think we were both in love
with the idea of being in love.
130
00:09:33,698 --> 00:09:37,828
You know, and we're at that age
where we're ready to find "the one".
131
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:40,334
And don't tell me, Josh,
you opened that closet door,
132
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,933
didn't want to live that lie any more.
133
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:43,458
I picked up on it
the moment you sat down.
134
00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:46,090
Tricks of the trade.
You know, you can tell by the shoes.
135
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:50,299
No! Oh, Christ, no, no, no, no,
I'm completely straight.
136
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,388
Couldn't be less gay.
I mean, I don't even like...
137
00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,219
touching my own penis.
138
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,145
Right, so were there
terrible sexual problems?
139
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,977
Does he have tremendously niche desires?
140
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,652
Did he want to touch you here?
141
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,783
- Uh...
- Never with a pen.
142
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,409
Look, Nat's amazing, obviously.
She's wonderful.
143
00:10:13,488 --> 00:10:15,616
And I think we both really want
to make this work.
144
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:16,745
But is it possible
145
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,203
that some people
just aren't supposed to be married?
146
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,458
Truthfully, there's just something
in our marriage
147
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:23,085
that hasn't quite...
148
00:10:23,164 --> 00:10:25,007
- Clicked.
- ...jelled.
149
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,300
So? Was it like a dream?
150
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,681
Well, we ticked every wedding box.
151
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,604
Cake, sweaty uncles dancing to Queen.
152
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:41,399
People we thought were dead
flying in from Canada.
153
00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:43,397
It was very wedding-y, right?
154
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,819
It was so romantic.
155
00:10:44,894 --> 00:10:46,294
It was just like a Hugh Grant film.
156
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:48,439
- It was amazing, wasn't it?
- Mmm!
157
00:10:48,523 --> 00:10:50,321
Did you like all the flowers?
We got the most...
158
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:51,652
I'm sorry.
159
00:10:51,943 --> 00:10:53,570
But can we do this at lunch?
160
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,614
- Right. Absolutely, Helen.
- Thanks.
161
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,665
Ruthlessly efficient, as always.
162
00:10:57,740 --> 00:10:58,787
We should not be talking about
163
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:00,744
- lace halter necks on company time.
- No.
164
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:04,839
- What's the story?
- While you were on your holiday,
165
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:06,215
I took the initiative
166
00:11:06,332 --> 00:11:08,551
and I started gathering ideas
for Guy Harrap.
167
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,343
He's taken over his father's
industrial solvent and bleach empire.
168
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:17,223
You weren't here, but he basically wants
to make solvents and bleach sexy.
169
00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,270
- Fuck off.
170
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,934
Is that
my dirty little slut of a wife?
171
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,810
Hey!
172
00:11:25,894 --> 00:11:27,146
What are you doing?
173
00:11:27,228 --> 00:11:29,105
Uh, middle of a meeting. What's up?
174
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:32,284
Maybe I'm just missing
the sexiest wife in the universe.
175
00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:35,578
- Not working today?
- I've got writer's block.
176
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:39,958
I can't work out whether to call
my main character Ezra
177
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,794
- or David.
- Um, David.
178
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,542
I was at school with an Ezra
who got expelled
179
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,982
for punching a swan in the throat.
180
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,882
Who said the second novel
would be tricky?
181
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:49,964
Anything else?
182
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,796
No, no, no. I'll see you at three.
183
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:54,381
- Love...
184
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:56,056
...you.
185
00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:58,806
Sorry, that was my husband.
186
00:11:58,885 --> 00:12:00,353
He has writer's block.
187
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:02,305
Did I mention that
he was a writer, of books?
188
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:04,436
- Only about a million times.
- Yeah, Clare mentioned it,
189
00:12:04,515 --> 00:12:06,688
but I've never heard of him.
190
00:12:11,105 --> 00:12:12,152
Sorry, sorry.
191
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,485
You do realise you're not going
any faster than walking, don't you?
192
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,661
You've got all the superficial
trappings of a run
193
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,909
but there's people walking
much faster than you.
194
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,249
You're just expending
a lot of surplus energy.
195
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:23,409
Thank you for that analysis.
196
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,790
How late are we?
197
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,964
Well, you, my little friend,
are 10 minutes early.
198
00:12:28,039 --> 00:12:30,758
I told you the wrong time because I knew
you'd never be on schedule.
199
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:33,511
- Right.
- Mmm!
200
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,465
I'm just trying to work out
if I find that endearing
201
00:12:36,547 --> 00:12:40,097
or it makes me want to bludgeon you
to death with a shovel.
202
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,849
- No, it's endearing.
- I think it's a shovel.
203
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:44,101
- It's endearing.
- Do we have a shovel?
204
00:12:44,180 --> 00:12:47,434
Well, firstly, a hearty "mazoltov"
for your marriage.
205
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,440
- I think it's "mazel tov", isn't it?
- Thank you.
206
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,567
- Mmm?
- I always thought it was "mazel tov".
207
00:12:51,729 --> 00:12:53,106
I don't know, I'm not Jewish.
208
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:54,570
Oh.
209
00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:59,784
But, as you know, whilst everything
may seem so happy now,
210
00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:02,206
of course you could be
struck down at any time.
211
00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:06,253
Cancer. Heart disease. Meningitis.
212
00:13:06,369 --> 00:13:07,996
Hit by a truck.
213
00:13:08,079 --> 00:13:09,501
- Bam!
214
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:14,261
I had a client who was kicked to death
by a group of disaffected youths
215
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:15,712
high on meow meow.
216
00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,968
She'd just left the house
to get potatoes.
217
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:20,634
- Just potatoes.
- Shit.
218
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:21,969
And the tragedy was,
219
00:13:22,051 --> 00:13:23,849
she hadn't thought to make a will.
220
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,602
- Or a Tesco home delivery.
221
00:13:26,681 --> 00:13:27,807
What?
222
00:13:28,683 --> 00:13:29,809
Yeah.
223
00:13:30,476 --> 00:13:33,150
She was only identifiable
by her dental records.
224
00:13:34,188 --> 00:13:35,656
Why, what had they done to her?
225
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,484
They'd made impressions of her teeth.
226
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:41,450
Still, fortunately, you two have had
the presence of mind
227
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,576
to plan for your future.
228
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,033
So, have you considered
what would happen
229
00:13:45,116 --> 00:13:47,539
if either of you
fell into a persistent...
230
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,292
- ...vegetatative state?
- A what, sorry?
231
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,294
Persistent vegetatative state.
232
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:55,047
Mmm.
One too many T's there. "Vegetative."
233
00:13:57,837 --> 00:14:00,636
Have you considered what would happen
if you fell into...
234
00:14:00,715 --> 00:14:01,807
one of these guys?
235
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,552
Just pillow talk, really.
236
00:14:05,845 --> 00:14:07,939
No, I think we did decide
that we'd both like to be left to die.
237
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:10,604
Excellent, yes.
We just switched off my aunt.
238
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,234
- I'm sorry.
- Aw.
239
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,312
No, it's all right.
It's no quality of life.
240
00:14:14,395 --> 00:14:15,996
And we freed up a socket
for a lava lamp.
241
00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,273
Ah.
242
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,478
It's transformed the lounge.
243
00:14:18,524 --> 00:14:19,571
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
244
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,947
Largely losing her, to be fair.
245
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,290
Now, can we go through a few of these?
Just give me a yes or no.
246
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,369
Are we switching the life support off?
247
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,498
Brain dead?
248
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,252
- Switch it off.
- Switch it off. Get it off.
249
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:35,378
Locked-in syndrome?
250
00:14:36,209 --> 00:14:38,609
That's the one where you're paralysed
but you can still wink.
251
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:39,928
It's all the...
252
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,799
It's the dribble, isn't it,
that I couldn't handle.
253
00:14:42,882 --> 00:14:45,322
- Constantly mopping up phlegm.
- I wouldn't want that.
254
00:14:45,343 --> 00:14:47,783
You wouldn't want that.
That's why you're murdering your wife.
255
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,548
So, are you switching it off?
256
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:50,772
- Sorry, what are you doing?
- Off!
257
00:14:50,848 --> 00:14:52,145
- Switch it off, yeah.
- Off she goes!
258
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,943
Night-night.
259
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,281
Um, brain-damaged and vegetative.
260
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,858
- Thank you.
- Mmm.
261
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,780
Um, brain stem undamaged.
262
00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,738
So you're breathing,
you're swallowing, you're fine,
263
00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:07,825
but you are still literally
a shell of a person
264
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,582
with no capacity
for any emotion or thought.
265
00:15:12,537 --> 00:15:14,380
Much like my Susan.
266
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,256
My little joke.
267
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,636
- Off, off.
- Off, yeah, off.
268
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:24,591
Get that off, off, off, off!
269
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,431
Well, this is slightly more depressing
270
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:28,682
- than I'd imagined.
- Oh, no. Come one.
271
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,980
And you haven't even
received my bill yet.
272
00:15:32,723 --> 00:15:34,243
That's a good 'un. That is a good 'un.
273
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,652
- An electric peppermill?
274
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:45,577
I can't believe you got
an electric peppermill.
275
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,493
We thought we had to have
at least one dinner party
276
00:15:48,573 --> 00:15:50,246
to use all the crap we got bought.
277
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,376
At least that's a useful gift.
278
00:15:52,577 --> 00:15:54,375
D'you know what I mean?
I hate those gifts where someone says,
279
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:55,501
"Do you know what I've done for you?"
280
00:15:55,580 --> 00:15:56,957
"I've donated to charity
on your behalf."
281
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,882
"Have you? Really?" Bollocks to that.
282
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,461
If I'm getting married, why should some
African fella get a couple of goats?
283
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,745
I want a fucking smoothie maker,
d'you know what I mean?
284
00:16:05,882 --> 00:16:08,226
- Did you get them goats?
- Four of them.
285
00:16:08,301 --> 00:16:09,348
- Four goats?
- Yeah.
286
00:16:09,427 --> 00:16:11,467
That's a lovely gift, that,
because they need goats.
287
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:14,477
African fella's pleased.
288
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:18,107
Go on, tell us about your honeymoon.
289
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:20,818
It was lovely. It was idyllic.
290
00:16:20,897 --> 00:16:22,194
Morocco's beautiful.
291
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:23,673
- Amazing place, yeah.
- Yeah.
292
00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,988
It was just a bit long, really.
293
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,068
I was really sad when we came back.
294
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:28,655
Well, things hit a low point
when we found ourselves
295
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:30,911
in the Essaouira Museum
of Leather Manufacturing
296
00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:34,081
discussing if we had a superpower,
what would it be?
297
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,164
I actually really enjoyed that.
I thought that was really fun.
298
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:38,926
I think if I was
gonna have any superpower,
299
00:16:38,956 --> 00:16:40,583
it would be the ability
to speak Spanish.
300
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,961
That would be amazing, wouldn't it?
Because you could say stuff like,
301
00:16:43,044 --> 00:16:45,593
- Hola, gazpacho.
- You just said it.
302
00:16:45,671 --> 00:16:47,232
- You're saying it now.
- Oh, wow.
303
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,678
Hmm.
304
00:16:48,758 --> 00:16:51,102
Not strictly speaking a superpower,
though, is it, really?
305
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,137
Otherwise everyone in Brazil
would be superheroes.
306
00:16:53,471 --> 00:16:54,563
Mmm, true.
307
00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,399
They speak Portuguese in Brazil.
308
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:58,476
You cock.
309
00:17:00,811 --> 00:17:02,734
- Mmm?
- Keep it for the car.
310
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,066
Um, so... Wait, so, Josh,
311
00:17:05,149 --> 00:17:07,072
- what did you choose?
- Boring, really. Super-strength.
312
00:17:07,151 --> 00:17:08,824
That's what I would choose, too!
313
00:17:09,070 --> 00:17:12,040
I think it would be so handy
to be able to open, like, jam jars.
314
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,242
Jam jars! That's exactly...
Isn't that exactly what I said?
315
00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,748
- That's exactly what you said.
- That's exactly what I said.
316
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:17,874
- That's so funny.
- That is so funny.
317
00:17:17,954 --> 00:17:20,707
Are we eight years old, all of a sudden?
This is what children talk about.
318
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:22,258
All right, Nat, calm down,
we were only having a joke.
319
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,505
Yeah, joke's over.
320
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,087
Ooh. "Grounds for divorce dot corn."
321
00:17:26,837 --> 00:17:30,307
Shut up, you "bell-end dot-co-dot-uk".
322
00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:33,227
To be honest, I'm not sure
you could get a divorce
323
00:17:33,302 --> 00:17:34,929
because I'm not even sure
you're officially married.
324
00:17:35,012 --> 00:17:36,573
Because they never officially split up.
325
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:41,603
- What?
- What?
326
00:17:41,686 --> 00:17:42,926
They never officially split up.
327
00:17:42,937 --> 00:17:44,189
What are you talking about?
328
00:17:44,939 --> 00:17:47,818
- You never officially broke up, did you?
329
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:52,743
Yeah, actually it's, um...
it's pretty funny, really,
330
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:56,952
because, um, when I left for Africa,
331
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,707
we sort of never formally ended it.
332
00:17:58,786 --> 00:17:59,833
Never formal.
333
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:04,000
We just sort of... We left it open.
334
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:05,209
Wide open.
335
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,510
Then I ended up
being gone for four years.
336
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,009
- About four years...
- But what's four years, really?
337
00:18:14,385 --> 00:18:15,557
I've told you this.
338
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:19,645
- Nat. Nat.
- Hmm?
339
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:20,896
I've told you this.
340
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,521
He wasn't happy, though,
I'll tell you, that time.
341
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:28,988
Honestly, we used to refer to 2008
as the sort of... as the "lost year".
342
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:31,160
- Mate.
- He would just sit there in his pants.
343
00:18:31,235 --> 00:18:33,954
You know, drinking and playing
Grand Theft Auto, masturbating.
344
00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,243
- No!
345
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,371
Sometimes all three at once.
346
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,702
That's an impressive thing.
I couldn't do that.
347
00:18:38,784 --> 00:18:40,457
I could practise for ages,
I wouldn't be able to do that.
348
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,016
Imagine that on Britain's Got Talent.
349
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:49,129
Nat, I'm really sorry about that,
back there.
350
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,428
I just... I thought that you knew.
351
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:53,508
Oh, no, don't be silly.
It was years ago.
352
00:18:53,591 --> 00:18:56,720
2008, I was still using
"LOL" un-ironically
353
00:18:56,802 --> 00:18:57,849
and wearing ballet flats.
354
00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:02,729
Look at those.
You look really cute in those.
355
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,936
- Thanks, thanks.
- Pretty.
356
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:06,946
Um...
357
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,444
Yeah, well, you know,
it really was a long time ago
358
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:10,945
and we were both so young.
359
00:19:11,025 --> 00:19:13,073
We were so different back then.
360
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,905
And now he's married
to the coolest woman on the planet.
361
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:17,285
You're sweet.
362
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,959
I thought,
"I've got it made, I married a doctor."
363
00:19:20,284 --> 00:19:22,036
And then you realise,
you're gonna wake up every day
364
00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:23,621
to the same hairy ears.
365
00:19:24,789 --> 00:19:27,133
The same slightly deformed
fungal toenail.
366
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:28,801
And you're gonna have to
listen to that weird,
367
00:19:28,876 --> 00:19:30,719
ear-throat-clearing sound they make
368
00:19:30,795 --> 00:19:32,172
every day until you are dead.
369
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,643
And the same penis.
370
00:19:38,678 --> 00:19:42,103
I may, literally,
never see another penis again.
371
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,141
Unless it's a small child's.
372
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:48,191
Or if you get sexually assaulted.
373
00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:59,282
And Josh's is lovely. You know,
we have an incredible sex life.
374
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:01,538
But that's not the point, you know.
375
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,582
I love Michael Jackson's
Off the Wall album.
376
00:20:03,661 --> 00:20:06,631
I wouldn't necessarily want to only
listen to that for the rest of my life.
377
00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:08,834
Yeah. Oh, honey, I've been there.
378
00:20:09,375 --> 00:20:11,423
I mean, you'll listen to it a lot
in the beginning.
379
00:20:11,502 --> 00:20:12,879
You'll listen to it
in all different sorts of places.
380
00:20:12,962 --> 00:20:14,839
You'll listen to it in the car,
381
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:17,203
in the disabled toilet cubicle
in the McDonald's in Egham,
382
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,098
in your unconscious granny's
hospital room.
383
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:23,272
- Granny Mary?
- It's what she would have wanted.
384
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,766
But then, you know,
385
00:20:25,850 --> 00:20:26,942
you're just gonna get to the point
386
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:28,940
where you're not that bothered
about listening to music at all.
387
00:20:29,478 --> 00:20:31,572
You just play it on birthdays,
388
00:20:31,647 --> 00:20:34,025
or when you're very, very drunk.
389
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:35,575
Or...
390
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,409
if someone shows you
a Justin Bieber video
391
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,659
when you're in the office
392
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:43,539
and, you know, all you can
then think about is that.
393
00:20:45,619 --> 00:20:47,587
Isn't he, like, 15?
394
00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,631
Oh, he'd know what to do.
395
00:20:51,542 --> 00:20:53,715
I'd ruin Bieber.
396
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:57,219
You would. You would ruin him.
397
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,136
Fuck.
It's the soundtrack to my marriage.
398
00:21:02,219 --> 00:21:04,142
Don't get married, you.
Too late for you.
399
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:09,939
Penny for them.
400
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:13,155
Your thoughts. How you doing?
401
00:21:13,230 --> 00:21:14,652
Hey, Danny.
402
00:21:20,404 --> 00:21:22,122
Let's get the party started.
403
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:24,246
Get comfy. Get comfy.
404
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:41,058
You know, I shouldn't really tell you
this, but I was talking to Josh...
405
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:42,806
- ...and, urn,
406
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:46,685
he said that the sex
between him and Nat
407
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,061
is amazing.
408
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,689
He said that it blows everything
he's had in the past out the water.
409
00:21:50,768 --> 00:21:51,985
Out of the water!
410
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:55,736
- Wow. That is tremendous news.
- Tremendous news for him,
411
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:57,535
- he's really pleased, yeah.
- It's... Yeah.
412
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,786
I suppose that's not really your thing,
is it? Sex and sexiness.
413
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:03,164
You're more...
How would you describe yourself?
414
00:22:03,906 --> 00:22:06,455
Kind of "kind," do you know what I mean?
Charitable.
415
00:22:08,118 --> 00:22:10,416
It's a shame, in a way,
that they couldn't put...
416
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:14,046
your brain in her body. D'you know
what I mean? That would be amazing.
417
00:22:14,124 --> 00:22:16,092
Although what would you be left with?
You'd be left with, like...
418
00:22:16,168 --> 00:22:17,420
Ooh, you'd be left
with her brain in your body.
419
00:22:17,503 --> 00:22:20,552
Imagine that.
Just rampaging around, out of control.
420
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:22,975
"What's that?"
421
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,176
"Oh, my God, it's like Frankenstein,
422
00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:26,638
but with, like, boobs."
423
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,974
Villagers coming out
with pitchforks and torches. "Kill it!"
424
00:22:30,808 --> 00:22:33,527
- It'd be just terrifying.
- It would be terrifying.
425
00:22:33,602 --> 00:22:35,479
It would be horrible.
426
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,323
No. Joking, joking. I'd do you.
427
00:22:39,483 --> 00:22:42,032
- If you wanted. You know.
- Thank you.
428
00:22:42,111 --> 00:22:46,161
If I had to make a top-10
of women I know that I would do,
429
00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:48,292
you'd be in that list.
430
00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,369
Number seven. All right?
431
00:22:50,452 --> 00:22:52,295
- Thank you. Thanks, Danny.
- Seriously.
432
00:22:53,330 --> 00:22:56,425
Do you want to get a drink sometime?
Maybe pop out and get a drink sometime?
433
00:22:56,542 --> 00:22:58,465
Um, I... No.
434
00:22:58,544 --> 00:23:00,842
- Yeah?
- No.
435
00:23:00,921 --> 00:23:02,389
You say no, I say yes.
436
00:23:04,842 --> 00:23:07,061
So, remember to play up
our ethical credentials.
437
00:23:07,136 --> 00:23:08,809
Don't mention the BP campaign.
438
00:23:08,888 --> 00:23:12,017
And let's emphasise the online campaign
we did for Greenpeace.
439
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:13,271
Our job is to convince people
440
00:23:13,350 --> 00:23:15,444
his solvents won't render the planet
a barren, lifeless husk
441
00:23:15,519 --> 00:23:17,988
- unfit for future generations.
- Piece of piss.
442
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,303
How are we gonna do that, then?
443
00:23:19,356 --> 00:23:21,199
Well, if he's a cheapskate like his dad,
444
00:23:21,317 --> 00:23:23,365
we suggest making the typeface
green and yellow
445
00:23:23,444 --> 00:23:26,789
and sticking some sort of
sunflower or butterfly on the logo.
446
00:23:26,864 --> 00:23:27,911
It's textbook.
447
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:29,826
Depressingly, you could be right.
448
00:23:30,784 --> 00:23:33,162
I expect he'll be
some sort of tasteless Yank,
449
00:23:33,245 --> 00:23:35,168
obsessed with how we're all so quaint,
450
00:23:35,247 --> 00:23:36,749
spell "colour" with a
451
00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:40,553
worship Benny Hill
and then say "awesome" a lot.
452
00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:43,092
Yeah. And he'll probably do
that Austin Powers accent.
453
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,594
You know the one. "Yeah, baby!"
454
00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:46,800
I didn't watch that film
455
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:48,431
because it's absolutely
not my cup of tea.
456
00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:51,263
And then plump for whatever
turns out to be the cheapest option.
457
00:23:51,347 --> 00:23:52,394
That's my prediction.
458
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:57,570
- You're not eating today?
- There's a lot of mercury in that.
459
00:23:57,895 --> 00:23:59,147
Then why don't you get
a fucking sandwich?
460
00:23:59,229 --> 00:24:00,830
I am gonna get
a fucking sandwich, Clare,
461
00:24:00,898 --> 00:24:01,990
but I'm not gonna have one
with bread in it
462
00:24:02,066 --> 00:24:03,659
because I'm a coeliac. You know that.
463
00:24:04,443 --> 00:24:06,070
So I was thinking about your book.
464
00:24:06,153 --> 00:24:07,621
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
465
00:24:07,696 --> 00:24:11,246
I reckon that I prefer
"Ezra" to "David" as a name.
466
00:24:11,825 --> 00:24:14,999
There was a David at school who,
if you paid him 50 cents,
467
00:24:15,079 --> 00:24:16,831
was prepared to lick anything.
468
00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:18,916
- Literally anything.
- Let's talk about it over dinner
469
00:24:18,999 --> 00:24:21,843
because Nat's out tonight,
another work thing.
470
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,345
I'm starving.
471
00:24:24,213 --> 00:24:26,011
I mean, obviously, it's all relative.
472
00:24:26,090 --> 00:24:27,433
I feel their plight.
473
00:24:27,508 --> 00:24:29,306
I only had a Kinder Bueno for lunch.
474
00:24:29,385 --> 00:24:31,683
Mmm, I can't tonight.
I'm going out with Charlie.
475
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:34,895
What, again?
That's the third time in two weeks.
476
00:24:35,099 --> 00:24:36,851
You're counting?
477
00:24:36,892 --> 00:24:38,144
Sorry to interrupt.
478
00:24:38,227 --> 00:24:39,774
Those articles you wanted
from this morning.
479
00:24:39,853 --> 00:24:41,571
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
480
00:24:43,065 --> 00:24:44,817
So, what, am I just supposed
to stay home
481
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,380
in the hopes you've got a free night?
482
00:24:46,402 --> 00:24:47,654
No.
483
00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:49,981
I just don't want to see you
getting hurt, that's all.
484
00:24:52,950 --> 00:24:54,372
Is that him?
485
00:24:54,618 --> 00:24:55,744
Yeah.
486
00:24:55,828 --> 00:24:58,832
Well, I see someone managed
to find a Burger King out in Sudan.
487
00:25:07,506 --> 00:25:09,304
I've just seen Guy Harrap in reception!
488
00:25:09,383 --> 00:25:11,886
And I would jump on him
like a bouncy castle.
489
00:25:11,969 --> 00:25:13,437
Remember to take off your shoes,
and no somersaults.
490
00:25:13,512 --> 00:25:15,014
- I need your ring.
- What?
491
00:25:15,097 --> 00:25:16,690
- We really need this account.
- Are you on drugs?
492
00:25:16,807 --> 00:25:19,060
Come on, it's not like you're gonna
jump into bed with the man.
493
00:25:19,143 --> 00:25:20,395
- Clare!
494
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:21,569
What's up?
495
00:25:22,646 --> 00:25:24,273
- Guy Harrap.
- Hello.
496
00:25:24,356 --> 00:25:25,448
Who we got here?
497
00:25:25,816 --> 00:25:27,864
Natasha Redfearn, Accounts Director.
498
00:25:27,943 --> 00:25:28,944
- Sweet.
- Hi.
499
00:25:29,028 --> 00:25:30,701
Is there anything we can offer you?
500
00:25:30,779 --> 00:25:33,783
Hot diggity dog,
I love the way you say that.
501
00:25:33,866 --> 00:25:35,539
Huh? The way she says that? "Offer"?
502
00:25:35,617 --> 00:25:37,119
Off.. Can you say that again?
503
00:25:37,202 --> 00:25:38,749
- Oh...
- "Offer" me.
504
00:25:39,163 --> 00:25:40,380
Um, offer.
505
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:42,017
- There it is. There it is.
506
00:25:42,082 --> 00:25:43,174
- Here, give me some of that.
- Oh.
507
00:25:43,250 --> 00:25:45,218
- All right. Pound it.
- Yes. Oh.
508
00:25:45,669 --> 00:25:48,172
I got an idea. Let's sit down,
let's talk some business. Huh?
509
00:25:48,839 --> 00:25:51,558
Mr Harrap, we're delighted
that you've come to us
510
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:53,226
to take Harraps Solvents forward
511
00:25:53,343 --> 00:25:56,347
and rebrand in the fresh challenges
presented by the new media climate.
512
00:25:56,722 --> 00:25:59,225
Awesome. Totally awesome. Bingo, huh?
513
00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:02,820
We're very pleased
with some of the concepts
514
00:26:02,895 --> 00:26:04,647
we've come up with
for the new incarnation of Harraps.
515
00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:08,451
Yeah, as long as you don't fob me off
with some yellow-and-green font.
516
00:26:09,068 --> 00:26:11,287
I mean, how many times
have we seen that, right?
517
00:26:11,361 --> 00:26:12,829
Yes, exactly. No.
518
00:26:13,113 --> 00:26:14,330
Too many! Far...
519
00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:17,330
What we were pla...
What we were thinking is to take...
520
00:26:19,328 --> 00:26:21,877
- a holistic approach...
- Mmm-hmm.
521
00:26:22,748 --> 00:26:26,844
...focusing on the core brand values
of integrity...
522
00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:27,966
Integrity.
523
00:26:28,462 --> 00:26:29,714
Got it. Thank you.
524
00:26:29,838 --> 00:26:31,590
...responsibility...
525
00:26:37,346 --> 00:26:39,189
- that epitomise...
- Mmm.
526
00:26:39,348 --> 00:26:41,521
...what Harraps stands for.
527
00:26:41,600 --> 00:26:43,602
Harraps. That's very good.
528
00:26:46,897 --> 00:26:51,243
Well, to be honest, at Oxford,
my economics professor
529
00:26:51,318 --> 00:26:54,071
favoured a fully integrated
four-quadrant strategy
530
00:26:54,196 --> 00:26:56,540
cohesive across all media,
531
00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,788
presenting an instantly accessible,
532
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:01,620
aesthetic, philosophical
and commercial identity
533
00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:05,082
consistent with an ethical
contemporary market leader
534
00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:09,090
whilst embracing
its legacy of integrity.
535
00:27:09,253 --> 00:27:10,300
Yeah, baby!
536
00:27:10,379 --> 00:27:12,052
That's Austin Powers.
537
00:27:13,173 --> 00:27:15,050
I love that film.
538
00:27:15,217 --> 00:27:17,891
- I'm so sorry, I just...
- I know.
539
00:27:17,970 --> 00:27:22,851
You thought I was a tasteless Yank
obsessed with how quaint you all are.
540
00:27:22,933 --> 00:27:25,027
That's so quaint.
541
00:27:25,102 --> 00:27:27,230
It's incredibly embarrassing.
542
00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:29,440
But we have plenty of
other proposals to show you.
543
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:32,902
No, I don't need to see them.
These things aren't done in boardrooms.
544
00:27:33,569 --> 00:27:36,163
We should get to know each other,
Miss Redfearn.
545
00:27:36,238 --> 00:27:38,582
A holistic approach, as you say.
546
00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:42,957
Well, agreed, but, uh.
547
00:27:43,036 --> 00:27:46,210
But from the outset, you should
know that I've just got, um...
548
00:27:53,172 --> 00:27:56,597
another account that I have to focus on
for the next few days.
549
00:27:57,050 --> 00:27:58,723
- It's been a pleasure.
- Thanks.
550
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:01,054
- I'm so sorry again for the...
- No, please.
551
00:28:01,138 --> 00:28:02,640
Bye.
552
00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:04,482
Bye.
553
00:28:14,860 --> 00:28:19,536
When we first met, I just thought
Josh was exactly what I needed.
554
00:28:19,615 --> 00:28:21,117
You know, I felt...
555
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:23,999
so safe, and then...
556
00:28:26,872 --> 00:28:28,124
I think what she's trying to say is,
557
00:28:28,207 --> 00:28:30,175
is that the everyday
reality of marriage
558
00:28:30,250 --> 00:28:32,173
started to overtake the fairytale,
559
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:34,550
- the fantasy, right?
- Ooh, hark at you.
560
00:28:34,838 --> 00:28:37,307
Somebody swallowed a copy
of Eat, Pray, Love.
561
00:28:37,591 --> 00:28:40,561
- No, I think as... we...
562
00:28:42,179 --> 00:28:43,806
I'm gonna have to take this.
563
00:28:45,015 --> 00:28:46,136
Yep, fine, I'm in a session.
564
00:28:47,893 --> 00:28:49,816
Can't you pick them up?
565
00:28:50,646 --> 00:28:52,023
Give me two minutes.
566
00:28:52,105 --> 00:28:54,483
Talk about your feelings
or your father or something.
567
00:29:05,327 --> 00:29:08,001
Coming up on Cash in the Attic,
568
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,959
a delightful silver brooch
made by a celebrated war hero.
569
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,343
The bin's full.
570
00:29:14,044 --> 00:29:15,637
- Can you take it out?
- Yeah.
571
00:29:16,129 --> 00:29:18,803
The One Tree Hill omnibus
is about to start.
572
00:29:18,882 --> 00:29:21,886
Lauren's about to tell Jake
that baby Connor's not his.
573
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:32,529
Oh, Christ.
Your husband is so adorable.
574
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:38,903
Yes. He really is.
575
00:29:38,986 --> 00:29:40,863
So ostentatious.
576
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:45,329
Have you seen my phone?
577
00:29:45,409 --> 00:29:47,707
No. When did you last have it?
578
00:29:47,828 --> 00:29:49,922
Well, if I knew that,
it wouldn't be lost, would it?
579
00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:51,920
That's the point
of something being lost.
580
00:29:54,876 --> 00:29:56,378
You're always here.
581
00:29:57,212 --> 00:29:59,135
Why are you always here?
582
00:30:03,427 --> 00:30:06,027
Come and have a look at this video
of a monkey fucking a bullfrog.
583
00:30:07,723 --> 00:30:09,270
He's killed it!
584
00:30:10,183 --> 00:30:11,560
He's killed it by fucking it!
585
00:30:19,693 --> 00:30:22,822
♬ Sweet dreams are made of this
586
00:30:22,904 --> 00:30:26,704
♬ Who am I to disagree?
587
00:30:26,783 --> 00:30:30,583
♬ I travel the world in generic jeans
588
00:30:30,704 --> 00:30:31,751
♬ Everybody's...
589
00:30:31,830 --> 00:30:34,253
Seriously, Nat.
Seriously, hang on a sec.
590
00:30:34,333 --> 00:30:36,711
Why do you never get
the words to a song right?
591
00:30:38,420 --> 00:30:39,672
Does it really matter?
592
00:30:39,755 --> 00:30:42,508
What, "I've travelled the world
in generic jeans"?
593
00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:44,264
Really? Come on.
594
00:30:44,885 --> 00:30:48,105
I was just singing.
Didn't realise it was so important.
595
00:30:48,221 --> 00:30:50,064
Do you really think that
Annie Lennox is singing about
596
00:30:50,140 --> 00:30:52,689
whether she happened to travel
the world in Levis or Wranglers?
597
00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,526
Okay. Wow.
598
00:30:59,149 --> 00:31:01,029
And while we're at it,
Elton John isn't singing,
599
00:31:01,109 --> 00:31:03,362
"Hold me close and tie me down, sir."
600
00:31:03,445 --> 00:31:06,665
Kurt Cobain isn't singing,
"Here we are now in containers."
601
00:31:06,740 --> 00:31:09,960
If you can't sing it right,
don't sing at all. It's idiotic.
602
00:31:10,786 --> 00:31:13,005
Says the man dressed as a pea.
603
00:31:21,004 --> 00:31:24,850
I can't believe we're having
the same fucking row!
604
00:31:25,884 --> 00:31:28,979
Oh! Not listening!
Not listening! Not listening!
605
00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:31,015
No! Fuck you!
606
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:35,069
Oh, my God,
you're such an arsehole!
607
00:31:35,143 --> 00:31:37,396
Yes, you are!
You are such a cock-sucking,
608
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:39,982
shit-stabbing, fucking arsehole!
609
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:44,036
I could just fucking stab you
right in the eyes!
610
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:46,863
What the fuck are you looking at?
611
00:31:46,947 --> 00:31:48,574
You could do with a fuck!
612
00:31:49,116 --> 00:31:50,959
No, not you! Nobody wants to fuck you!
613
00:31:51,034 --> 00:31:53,378
You fucking frigid arsehole!
614
00:31:53,829 --> 00:31:55,502
Yeah, fuck you!
615
00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:01,386
So, here we are.
616
00:32:01,962 --> 00:32:04,181
The hub of the Harraps empire.
617
00:32:05,507 --> 00:32:06,850
What do you think?
618
00:32:07,300 --> 00:32:09,553
Hopefully, you can see why I wanted you
to check this place out.
619
00:32:09,678 --> 00:32:14,479
It's state-of-the-art and responsible
for a turnover last year of 37 million.
620
00:32:14,516 --> 00:32:20,319
If you squirted air from a large space
into a slightly smaller space last year,
621
00:32:20,355 --> 00:32:23,359
chances are
you did it through one of these.
622
00:32:24,192 --> 00:32:26,194
Every time I squirt out
a little bit of air,
623
00:32:26,236 --> 00:32:27,909
I'll think of you.
624
00:32:30,365 --> 00:32:33,039
That sounded weird,
but you know what I mean.
625
00:32:33,702 --> 00:32:35,375
Yeah, sure.
626
00:32:38,832 --> 00:32:40,675
There's someone I want you to meet.
627
00:32:40,709 --> 00:32:44,213
Janet's been working here for,
what, 42 years?
628
00:32:44,337 --> 00:32:46,510
Forty-three in June. Hello.
629
00:32:46,548 --> 00:32:50,724
Yep, my grandfather exploited her,
my father exploited her,
630
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:51,886
now I get to exploit her.
631
00:32:52,387 --> 00:32:55,516
He's a good lad, this one.
He takes care of us.
632
00:32:55,557 --> 00:32:58,731
You won't find anybody here
with a bad word to say about him.
633
00:32:58,852 --> 00:32:59,899
Except Sarah.
634
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,739
But she's a proper shithouse.
635
00:33:02,939 --> 00:33:04,031
Really?
636
00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:06,902
He just needs to settle down,
start a family.
637
00:33:07,194 --> 00:33:08,912
So, what do you think?
638
00:33:09,070 --> 00:33:10,743
- Wife material?
- Definitely.
639
00:33:10,906 --> 00:33:12,203
Better than the last one.
640
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:13,742
You should see some of the...
641
00:33:13,867 --> 00:33:15,540
Yeah, I could dock your wages
for insubordination.
642
00:33:15,577 --> 00:33:16,874
Get back to work.
643
00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:20,917
Clostridium acetobutylicum
doesn't acidogenically ferment itself.
644
00:33:24,753 --> 00:33:27,381
It looks like you've got
the Janet seal of approval.
645
00:33:27,422 --> 00:33:29,641
I'm not sure I'm the marrying type.
646
00:33:29,799 --> 00:33:33,099
You realise you'd be the heir
to a solvents fortune.
647
00:33:33,428 --> 00:33:34,896
And that's not to be sniffed at.
648
00:33:34,930 --> 00:33:37,103
Literally, it could
result in convulsions,
649
00:33:37,140 --> 00:33:38,562
coma, severe brain damage,
650
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,318
and in some cases, mental retardation.
651
00:33:42,145 --> 00:33:45,615
They do all seem remarkably happy here.
Is it the fumes?
652
00:33:46,650 --> 00:33:48,994
These people, they're like family to me.
653
00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:50,953
I've grown up on this factory floor.
654
00:33:50,987 --> 00:33:53,581
I spent every summer here
since I was two.
655
00:33:54,157 --> 00:33:57,787
If you're good to people,
people will be good to you.
656
00:33:58,620 --> 00:34:02,124
It's what my dad taught me.
It's what I want to teach my kids.
657
00:34:03,917 --> 00:34:05,760
And I want to end all wars
and cure cancer.
658
00:34:43,999 --> 00:34:46,343
- All right?
- Yeah. What?
659
00:34:46,835 --> 00:34:49,509
You really... You don't have to come
tonight if you don't want to.
660
00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:51,830
No, I want to be there.
Your husband should support you.
661
00:34:52,173 --> 00:34:53,174
You look incredible.
662
00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,718
I warn you, you'll be bored to tears
663
00:34:54,843 --> 00:34:56,845
'cause I'm gonna
have to network all night.
664
00:34:56,886 --> 00:34:58,809
- That's the cab. Seriously.
665
00:35:00,015 --> 00:35:02,393
- Last chance to bail.
- No, I want to go. I love a party.
666
00:35:02,517 --> 00:35:04,565
Uh, will I need a coat? Is it cold out?
667
00:35:04,686 --> 00:35:06,188
Why do you always ask me that?
668
00:35:06,521 --> 00:35:09,024
How should I know if you need a coat?
669
00:35:09,149 --> 00:35:11,743
I've been outside today,
you've been outside today.
670
00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:15,831
I have precisely the same amount
of meteorological information as you do.
671
00:35:21,494 --> 00:35:22,711
Josh!
672
00:35:31,004 --> 00:35:33,883
I wouldn't want to be stuck behind him
going through airport security.
673
00:35:42,766 --> 00:35:45,736
Because it's all metal.
674
00:35:46,227 --> 00:35:48,070
He's so funny, your husband.
You've got a good one there.
675
00:35:48,104 --> 00:35:49,401
Thanks, that's sweet.
676
00:35:51,608 --> 00:35:54,111
Why don't you, um, go and mingle?
677
00:35:54,235 --> 00:35:55,532
There's a band upstairs.
678
00:35:56,029 --> 00:35:58,710
No, I think I'm gonna stay here.
But you go, mingle, enjoy yourself.
679
00:36:00,408 --> 00:36:03,448
Are you staying here because you think
you have a good joke about that photo?
680
00:36:04,037 --> 00:36:05,084
What?
681
00:36:06,247 --> 00:36:07,248
You are!
682
00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:10,252
You're staying here so you can
say that joke about the photo.
683
00:36:10,293 --> 00:36:12,591
It's a good joke.
I actually have a couple.
684
00:36:12,712 --> 00:36:15,152
Wouldn't want to be behind him
going through airport security.
685
00:36:16,925 --> 00:36:18,643
At least, if you went out with him,
686
00:36:18,760 --> 00:36:20,760
you'd always have a little place
to hang your coat.
687
00:36:22,430 --> 00:36:23,807
I'm Josh Moss. Nice to meet you.
688
00:36:23,932 --> 00:36:25,559
- Hi.
- Ooh! She's gone.
689
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:29,591
You could put your keys on there,
couldn't you?
690
00:36:31,606 --> 00:36:35,452
I think that's just what happens
when you sleep next to an open sewer.
691
00:36:35,777 --> 00:36:38,747
Had amoebic dysentery. Twice.
692
00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:40,114
In Rwanda at one point,
693
00:36:40,156 --> 00:36:43,126
I was actually defecating
pieces of my colon.
694
00:36:53,503 --> 00:36:54,629
Miss Redfearn.
695
00:36:56,256 --> 00:36:57,428
Guy!
696
00:36:59,092 --> 00:37:01,515
Lovely to see you. I er...
I didn't realise you were here.
697
00:37:01,636 --> 00:37:03,764
You know, it's actually good
that I ran into you
698
00:37:03,805 --> 00:37:05,807
because I was thinking about
some of those community outreach...
699
00:37:05,932 --> 00:37:07,809
Could we take one night off
from talking shop?
700
00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:11,692
Am I allowed to say
you're looking incredible?
701
00:37:11,813 --> 00:37:13,440
Technically, no.
702
00:37:13,481 --> 00:37:15,154
That would constitute sexual harassment.
703
00:37:15,275 --> 00:37:18,449
You're right. The rules and regulations
on that are very strict these days.
704
00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:23,208
I actually have a copy of the Sexual
Discrimination Act 2007 in my hotel room
705
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:24,925
if you'd like to come back
and peruse it.
706
00:37:26,286 --> 00:37:28,664
Although Christmas parties
don't really count.
707
00:37:30,498 --> 00:37:32,341
They're an opportunity
to tell the person
708
00:37:32,375 --> 00:37:33,877
you've had a secret crush on all year
709
00:37:34,002 --> 00:37:36,846
how you really feel about them.
710
00:37:39,549 --> 00:37:41,517
Aren't they?
711
00:37:42,010 --> 00:37:43,512
Are they?
712
00:37:43,553 --> 00:37:45,226
Of course.
713
00:37:45,346 --> 00:37:48,566
I think protocol and decorum
go right out the window.
714
00:37:49,350 --> 00:37:50,567
I mean, look at that guy.
715
00:37:52,145 --> 00:37:53,192
That is embarrassing.
716
00:37:53,855 --> 00:37:55,027
Who is he?
717
00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:56,741
Leave him alone, he's just had a few.
718
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,656
Hang on.
He's attempting the Beyoncé booty shake.
719
00:37:58,693 --> 00:38:02,163
Either that or he's being
sodomised by the Invisible Man.
720
00:38:02,197 --> 00:38:04,575
Oh, he's just had a few
too many cocktails.
721
00:38:04,699 --> 00:38:06,076
He's wasted.
722
00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:09,204
- Having a good time.
- Yeah, sure is.
723
00:38:12,415 --> 00:38:14,213
Oi, oi!
724
00:38:15,376 --> 00:38:18,346
Hold on.
Look out, here comes twinkle toes.
725
00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:19,926
He's making a beeline.
726
00:38:20,048 --> 00:38:21,846
I got your back,
I'll just say I'm your boyfriend.
727
00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,643
- No, you don't have to do that.
- It's fine.
728
00:38:25,261 --> 00:38:27,559
This party's amazing. So much fun.
729
00:38:28,223 --> 00:38:30,726
Guy Harrap. Pleased to meet you.
730
00:38:31,518 --> 00:38:35,398
Oh! The solvents guy!
731
00:38:35,897 --> 00:38:38,571
How are you? Nice to meet you.
He's so handsome, isn't he?
732
00:38:41,444 --> 00:38:43,117
Whoo!
733
00:38:43,238 --> 00:38:45,081
- Bollocks.
734
00:38:47,116 --> 00:38:48,413
Sorry.
735
00:38:48,743 --> 00:38:49,915
Come on!
736
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,454
Is that...
737
00:38:51,579 --> 00:38:53,456
Yeah, I suppose that's what
office parties are for, huh?
738
00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:54,798
That's hilarious!
739
00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:57,590
Free booze and a chance
to make out with the boss.
740
00:38:57,919 --> 00:38:59,359
Well, I'm technically self-employed,
741
00:38:59,379 --> 00:39:02,599
so I'll just have to settle for
a can of Budweiser and a wank.
742
00:39:03,091 --> 00:39:04,138
Charming.
743
00:39:05,051 --> 00:39:07,304
Can I ask the sexiest woman in the room
for a dance?
744
00:39:07,428 --> 00:39:08,475
Listen, I...
745
00:39:08,596 --> 00:39:11,224
We're actually talking business.
So, maybe later.
746
00:39:11,266 --> 00:39:14,110
- Wait, they're playing your song.
747
00:39:15,228 --> 00:39:17,447
Shouldn't you be busting a move?
748
00:39:31,578 --> 00:39:33,455
You almost have to admire him
for giving it a go.
749
00:39:33,496 --> 00:39:35,089
You owe me one.
750
00:39:36,332 --> 00:39:38,300
How about we make our excuses?
751
00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,007
I have a table on hold at Nobu.
752
00:39:40,128 --> 00:39:42,130
No, I can't, I've a...
753
00:39:42,797 --> 00:39:45,095
I should go.
I think I need some fresh air.
754
00:39:45,466 --> 00:39:46,809
Sure.
755
00:39:48,303 --> 00:39:50,351
Hang on, I'm swapping hands.
756
00:39:51,806 --> 00:39:56,687
So, you had an extra naan
and two glasses of wine,
757
00:39:56,811 --> 00:39:59,030
so you owe an extra four pounds.
758
00:39:59,147 --> 00:40:00,490
Drew...
759
00:40:00,607 --> 00:40:03,326
...you had the mango lassi,
so that's an extra three pounds.
760
00:40:03,985 --> 00:40:07,660
I swear, the mass graves in Mogadishu
weren't as awful as this.
761
00:40:07,822 --> 00:40:09,324
Do you want to bail?
762
00:40:09,699 --> 00:40:11,339
Did you have the chicken jalfrezi?
763
00:40:11,659 --> 00:40:13,161
I want to stay. It's fun.
764
00:40:13,286 --> 00:40:15,459
No, I've said hello
to everybody I need to.
765
00:40:15,496 --> 00:40:17,464
It's just gonna get messy
and it's no fun being a spectator.
766
00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:20,377
I wouldn't like to be stood
behind him at airport security.
767
00:40:20,501 --> 00:40:23,175
- That was my joke! He stole it!
768
00:40:23,296 --> 00:40:25,014
He's taking credit for my humour.
Should I say something?
769
00:40:25,131 --> 00:40:26,508
Jesus, Josh!
770
00:40:27,342 --> 00:40:29,140
When did you turn into such a prat?
771
00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:33,523
Stay. Dance like a fucking idiot,
tell your stupid jokes. I'm going home.
772
00:40:35,183 --> 00:40:37,686
That hoop in his ear,
he could hang his house keys on it.
773
00:40:48,196 --> 00:40:49,914
God, you are so sexy.
774
00:40:51,199 --> 00:40:52,701
You're so sexy.
775
00:40:52,825 --> 00:40:54,042
Thanks.
776
00:40:59,582 --> 00:41:02,711
Hey, that's it, honey, slide in,
room for one more. Huh?
777
00:41:02,877 --> 00:41:05,005
Hey, Alexandra.
778
00:41:08,049 --> 00:41:09,221
You look really nice.
779
00:41:10,718 --> 00:41:12,766
Different from work.
780
00:41:13,012 --> 00:41:16,107
Do you two want to have
a little hello kiss?
781
00:41:16,224 --> 00:41:18,101
- Um, hello.
- That's it.
782
00:41:19,018 --> 00:41:20,110
Hi.
783
00:41:20,561 --> 00:41:21,608
Mmm, that's it.
784
00:41:21,896 --> 00:41:25,116
Did you guys like that dinner tonight?
785
00:41:26,275 --> 00:41:29,119
Did you go for the rice or the naan?
786
00:41:30,071 --> 00:41:31,243
I went for the naan.
787
00:41:31,364 --> 00:41:32,741
Yeah? Mmm!
788
00:41:32,865 --> 00:41:34,742
You are so naughty.
789
00:41:35,076 --> 00:41:37,044
- Why are you so naughty?
790
00:41:37,078 --> 00:41:40,378
I don't know, Charlie, why is that?
791
00:41:40,415 --> 00:41:42,759
Did your mom smoke
during her pregnancy?
792
00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:46,262
Oh, okay.
793
00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,131
All right.
794
00:41:48,256 --> 00:41:50,384
That's it. Yeah, I like that.
795
00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:52,393
Threesome.
We're going to have a threesome.
796
00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:53,644
We're having a threesome.
797
00:41:54,470 --> 00:41:55,767
Let's go.
798
00:41:56,389 --> 00:41:58,938
- Chloe's climbing aboard.
- That's it.
799
00:41:59,642 --> 00:42:02,441
Here we go. Oh, yeah.
800
00:42:02,603 --> 00:42:04,901
Oh! Oh, yeah.
801
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,657
Chloe's on top now.
802
00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,151
The cherry on top.
803
00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:09,619
Oh, yeah.
804
00:42:09,736 --> 00:42:12,159
Oh, yeah. Now she's on the bottom.
805
00:42:12,613 --> 00:42:14,991
Chloe loves being on bottom.
806
00:42:15,116 --> 00:42:16,117
Oh, yes.
807
00:42:16,576 --> 00:42:19,796
Yes, squeeze my breast.
That feels amazing.
808
00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:21,289
Não para, Charlie.
809
00:42:21,789 --> 00:42:23,132
Yeah, Charlie,
810
00:42:23,249 --> 00:42:25,468
I can speak another language as well.
811
00:42:25,585 --> 00:42:27,258
Me llamo Chloe, Charlie.
812
00:42:28,504 --> 00:42:30,973
Yo tengo un hermano!
813
00:42:32,258 --> 00:42:33,635
- That's it.
- Okay.
814
00:42:33,676 --> 00:42:35,098
Okay. Yeah, that's it.
815
00:42:35,136 --> 00:42:36,683
Chloe's in the middle now.
816
00:42:37,680 --> 00:42:38,977
Okay.
817
00:42:39,098 --> 00:42:42,147
- Oh, yes. It feels amazing, doesn't it?
818
00:42:42,185 --> 00:42:43,937
Feels so good.
819
00:42:47,690 --> 00:42:50,489
God, you're strong, Alexandra.
820
00:42:51,611 --> 00:42:52,612
Yes.
821
00:42:54,947 --> 00:42:55,948
Down here again.
822
00:42:56,991 --> 00:43:00,040
Oh, yeah, put your fingers in my mouth.
I love that.
823
00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:04,674
Especially after Indian. It's amazing.
824
00:43:05,124 --> 00:43:06,341
Excuse me.
825
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,340
Excuse me. No!
826
00:43:09,045 --> 00:43:10,968
All right. Enough!
827
00:43:11,506 --> 00:43:13,224
I am leaving!
828
00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:15,802
You people, you're sick!
829
00:43:21,474 --> 00:43:22,851
I actually forgot my skirt.
830
00:43:22,975 --> 00:43:24,852
I'm sorry.
831
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:33,361
Okay, thanks. Thanks, everybody.
832
00:43:34,695 --> 00:43:37,744
And FYI, you both still have
your underwear on.
833
00:44:17,238 --> 00:44:20,742
Hey, it's Chloe.
I really need to speak to you.
834
00:44:28,249 --> 00:44:30,092
- Hey.
- Hi, it's me.
835
00:44:30,751 --> 00:44:33,379
I demand you let me in. I've got coffee
836
00:44:33,421 --> 00:44:34,764
and a bag
of those little sweets you like
837
00:44:34,881 --> 00:44:36,383
that look like mini fried eggs.
838
00:44:40,428 --> 00:44:43,807
It was humiliating, degrading.
839
00:44:45,725 --> 00:44:48,729
I don't even know how I got myself
into that position.
840
00:44:48,769 --> 00:44:51,147
I am not a threesome person.
841
00:44:52,064 --> 00:44:54,317
I don't know what bits to touch when.
842
00:44:54,442 --> 00:44:56,069
Listen, fuck him.
843
00:44:56,777 --> 00:44:58,279
If he doesn't realise
how amazing you are,
844
00:44:58,404 --> 00:44:59,451
then he's an idiot.
845
00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:02,492
- He doesn't deserve you.
- Yeah, right.
846
00:45:02,617 --> 00:45:03,834
I mean, look at me.
847
00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:06,079
I'm in a rented flat
848
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,296
wearing a SpongeBob SquarePants
dressing gown,
849
00:45:10,333 --> 00:45:12,586
eating a mixture of
animal fat and sugar
850
00:45:12,627 --> 00:45:14,925
made to look like a fried egg.
851
00:45:15,963 --> 00:45:16,964
I'm 32 years old.
852
00:45:17,340 --> 00:45:20,810
Yeah, and you've spent
your whole life doing things
853
00:45:20,927 --> 00:45:24,522
which make everybody else
look shallow, trivial and pointless.
854
00:45:25,181 --> 00:45:27,479
I think it's slightly more important
to be able to limit
855
00:45:27,516 --> 00:45:29,359
the spread of an epidemic
856
00:45:30,144 --> 00:45:32,112
than know how to conduct yourself
in a threesome.
857
00:45:33,773 --> 00:45:34,820
You do?
858
00:45:34,982 --> 00:45:38,031
I mean, for the purposes
of this conversation, sure.
859
00:45:44,659 --> 00:45:48,380
Honestly, I just want someone
to look after me for a change.
860
00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:49,960
Well, I'll look after you.
861
00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:52,838
You can't.
862
00:45:53,709 --> 00:45:56,132
You've already got someone
to look after.
863
00:46:08,307 --> 00:46:11,982
Listen, I'm completely all right.
864
00:46:13,187 --> 00:46:15,360
I promise not to end it all.
865
00:46:15,856 --> 00:46:18,655
I don't even own a razor. I wax.
866
00:46:19,652 --> 00:46:21,612
I think it's pretty hard
to wax yourself to death.
867
00:46:25,074 --> 00:46:27,247
You can leave. I'm okay.
868
00:46:27,368 --> 00:46:29,086
No, it's all right.
869
00:46:29,996 --> 00:46:32,670
I'm putting off my Christmas shopping.
870
00:46:34,083 --> 00:46:36,506
I'm trying to figure out
what to buy Nat.
871
00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:39,881
What does she like?
872
00:46:40,673 --> 00:46:41,765
I've no idea.
873
00:46:43,384 --> 00:46:46,183
- I was thinking casserole dishes, maybe.
874
00:46:47,430 --> 00:46:50,730
I simply cannot let you
get your new wife
875
00:46:50,850 --> 00:46:52,523
- casserole dishes for Christmas.
- Why?
876
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:53,732
I mean...
877
00:46:54,854 --> 00:46:56,572
- Let me help you out.
- A griddle pan.
878
00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:57,906
- No!
- A set of knives.
879
00:46:57,940 --> 00:47:00,534
Enough. I'm gonna go and get changed.
880
00:47:06,365 --> 00:47:07,617
Thanks, Josh.
881
00:47:08,242 --> 00:47:09,585
Ah, it's all right.
882
00:47:16,751 --> 00:47:18,594
Excuse me. Thank you.
883
00:47:22,340 --> 00:47:23,717
- Hey.
- Hello.
884
00:47:25,843 --> 00:47:27,720
- You okay?
- Mmm-hmm. Can I ask...
885
00:47:28,220 --> 00:47:29,563
why we're meeting in your hotel?
886
00:47:29,597 --> 00:47:31,677
You do know I'm not going
up to your room, don't you?
887
00:47:32,058 --> 00:47:35,232
Oh! No, of course not. Purely business.
888
00:47:35,436 --> 00:47:37,279
No sexual tension whatsoever.
889
00:47:37,355 --> 00:47:40,905
No undercurrent of erotic electricity
890
00:47:40,941 --> 00:47:43,945
between two ludicrously attractive
single people.
891
00:47:44,278 --> 00:47:46,701
None. Absolutely not.
892
00:47:47,114 --> 00:47:48,457
Good.
893
00:47:48,574 --> 00:47:50,451
It's your time you're paying for.
894
00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:53,083
So, we need to lock down a date
for the website.
895
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,964
It's just there are some tiny kittens
up in my room
896
00:47:56,082 --> 00:47:58,585
playing adorably with a ball of wool.
897
00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:01,633
- If you're interested.
- Cat faeces makes you go blind.
898
00:48:01,754 --> 00:48:04,803
- I'm not going to your room.
- Okay. You win.
899
00:48:04,924 --> 00:48:09,395
We'll work and completely ignore the
palpable sizzle of sensual possibility
900
00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:11,564
every time our bodies
accidentally touch.
901
00:48:13,974 --> 00:48:16,318
I've booked a boardroom down the hall.
902
00:48:17,144 --> 00:48:18,270
Shall we?
903
00:48:18,729 --> 00:48:20,606
Yeah, basically, I'm looking
for something for my wife.
904
00:48:20,648 --> 00:48:23,993
You know, pair of pants
and a brassiere, perhaps.
905
00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:27,823
Something that's long-lasting
and practical.
906
00:48:28,489 --> 00:48:30,491
Goodness, is that man-made fibre?
907
00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:33,244
Or is it, um, natural?
908
00:48:33,327 --> 00:48:36,171
Or is it a mixture of the two?
Because that's often the way these days.
909
00:48:36,288 --> 00:48:38,507
Helps with, um, durability and so on.
910
00:48:38,624 --> 00:48:40,171
I mean, that's a lovely bit of kit.
Look at that.
911
00:48:40,292 --> 00:48:41,965
That's a formidable gusset.
You could not break that.
912
00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:44,846
- Were you looking for a panty?
- Christ. Am I...
913
00:48:46,507 --> 00:48:47,599
A panty.
914
00:48:47,675 --> 00:48:49,348
Uh...
915
00:48:49,593 --> 00:48:51,266
He has trouble with the word "panty",
I think.
916
00:48:51,345 --> 00:48:54,098
No, I don't. "Panty."
I'm looking for a panty, mon chéri.
917
00:48:54,181 --> 00:48:56,980
A portion of your
finest panties, milord.
918
00:48:57,977 --> 00:49:01,026
Right.
Um, perhaps I should just ask you.
919
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:02,708
After all, you are standing right here.
920
00:49:04,150 --> 00:49:06,528
Oh, God, no, no, no. I'm not his wife.
921
00:49:06,819 --> 00:49:09,038
- No way.
- I'm just helping out,
922
00:49:09,155 --> 00:49:11,704
making sure he doesn't buy
his actual wife vouchers.
923
00:49:11,824 --> 00:49:12,950
Well, you can't actually go wrong
with vouchers.
924
00:49:13,033 --> 00:49:14,706
Christ, is that really the price?
925
00:49:17,204 --> 00:49:19,298
I could buy half an 18-litre
dehumidifier for that.
926
00:49:19,373 --> 00:49:20,966
- Sir.
- Yes.
927
00:49:21,041 --> 00:49:22,964
We like to celebrate the erotic here.
928
00:49:23,043 --> 00:49:25,512
Celebrate.
"One-nil. Oy-oy! I scored a goal."
929
00:49:25,546 --> 00:49:27,389
- You don't need to be ashamed.
- I'm not ashamed of anything.
930
00:49:27,465 --> 00:49:29,388
- Embrace it.
- I'll embrace you.
931
00:49:29,467 --> 00:49:30,947
I didn't mean that, I'm really sorry.
932
00:49:31,385 --> 00:49:34,059
It's all right. Why don't you tell me...
933
00:49:34,388 --> 00:49:36,686
- Yeah?
- ...what turns you on?
934
00:49:37,057 --> 00:49:41,403
Uh... What turns me on?
935
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,405
I don't... What, really?
936
00:49:45,566 --> 00:49:47,819
I, uh, I like it...
I like it when she...
937
00:49:50,237 --> 00:49:54,333
dresses up like a policewoman,
or estate agent.
938
00:49:55,826 --> 00:50:01,003
We haven't met,
and she forces me to do things to her
939
00:50:01,916 --> 00:50:04,419
that I would never normally do.
940
00:50:06,754 --> 00:50:08,677
- Right.
- Yeah.
941
00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:12,601
I was thinking
more along the lines of lace.
942
00:50:12,676 --> 00:50:13,768
Were you?
943
00:50:13,886 --> 00:50:15,433
- Satin?
- Satin.
944
00:50:16,180 --> 00:50:17,181
Fishnets?
945
00:50:17,264 --> 00:50:20,939
Fishnets, the fish of the sea.
Fish of the sea. A trawlerman.
946
00:50:21,018 --> 00:50:24,613
I once saw a trawlerman.
947
00:50:25,439 --> 00:50:26,782
You must know the lucky lady.
948
00:50:27,441 --> 00:50:29,034
Any thoughts?
949
00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:31,509
You're as useless at all this sexy stuff
as I am, aren't you?
950
00:50:31,612 --> 00:50:34,786
You're happy with a thermal nightie,
a Stieg Larsson and a nice milky tea.
951
00:50:37,618 --> 00:50:41,623
I'm just gonna go have a browse.
Leave you to it.
952
00:50:43,457 --> 00:50:45,130
Oh, this is nice.
953
00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:47,470
They also have a wonderful restaurant.
954
00:50:47,545 --> 00:50:50,469
I wouldn't think of staying
anywhere else when I'm in London.
955
00:50:50,923 --> 00:50:57,147
So, what is our strategy
when it comes to online awareness?
956
00:50:57,555 --> 00:51:01,150
So, the idea is to drive the consumer
to the site through...
957
00:51:01,934 --> 00:51:02,981
Oysters?
958
00:51:04,770 --> 00:51:05,817
Oysters?
959
00:51:06,897 --> 00:51:07,989
Seriously, Guy.
960
00:51:08,649 --> 00:51:11,277
They must have run out
of Highland shortbread.
961
00:51:12,444 --> 00:51:15,664
To drive consumers to the site
through a unified multiplatform...
962
00:51:18,951 --> 00:51:21,830
A unified multiplatform approach,
accessible with...
963
00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:28,510
Yes, go on. Platforms, that was good.
964
00:51:29,003 --> 00:51:33,850
Well, traditional media
should not be ignored, either.
965
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:36,928
Doves? Really?
966
00:51:37,678 --> 00:51:39,521
I think you're amazing, Nat.
967
00:51:39,638 --> 00:51:42,312
I know it's unprofessional
and cliché, but...
968
00:51:42,349 --> 00:51:43,942
I'm married.
969
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:46,190
What?
970
00:51:46,979 --> 00:51:49,027
I'm married. I have a husband.
971
00:51:51,942 --> 00:51:54,866
How can you?
Why didn't you say something?
972
00:51:54,987 --> 00:51:57,160
For all this time,
you didn't think to tell me?
973
00:51:57,197 --> 00:52:00,952
I didn't say anything because
I thought we'd get the account if...
974
00:52:02,202 --> 00:52:04,000
if I flirted with you.
975
00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:07,542
And then I liked flirting with you
too much for any of this to stop.
976
00:52:07,666 --> 00:52:10,545
Well, this wouldn't be happening
if you were happy with your husband.
977
00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:12,714
What am I supposed to say?
978
00:52:13,339 --> 00:52:16,559
I can't leave him, he'd be destroyed.
Look, I'm really sorry,
979
00:52:16,675 --> 00:52:19,053
but that dove's getting
awfully close to the ceiling fan.
980
00:52:19,845 --> 00:52:21,563
Who is this guy? Do you have children?
981
00:52:22,139 --> 00:52:24,688
- How long have you been married?
- Look, that's irrelevant. He's...
982
00:52:24,725 --> 00:52:26,568
He's dependable and...
983
00:52:28,896 --> 00:52:30,239
...and he's kind and safe,
984
00:52:30,314 --> 00:52:32,817
and I can't throw that all away for you.
985
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:35,369
I mean, you're charming and twinkly.
986
00:52:36,987 --> 00:52:39,831
Look, you're a Ferrari and he's a Volvo,
and right now...
987
00:52:42,493 --> 00:52:44,294
I just need to be
behind the wheel of a Volvo.
988
00:52:44,536 --> 00:52:46,254
I need...
989
00:52:48,874 --> 00:52:50,091
I need reliability
990
00:52:50,501 --> 00:52:54,722
and to be able to get from A to B
safe and unhurt.
991
00:52:55,005 --> 00:52:56,097
Oh! God!
992
00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:57,925
Dove down, dove down!
993
00:52:58,050 --> 00:53:00,678
It's okay, I think it's just stunned.
Can you...
994
00:53:00,761 --> 00:53:02,729
- Do you want me to stop now?
- Yes.
995
00:53:02,763 --> 00:53:04,857
Listen, Nat. I'm not giving up.
996
00:53:05,099 --> 00:53:07,272
From the minute I met you
I've thought of nothing else.
997
00:53:07,351 --> 00:53:10,776
Do you think I care if our logo
has a drop shadow or is italicised? No.
998
00:53:11,105 --> 00:53:13,528
I'm looking for excuses to see you.
999
00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:14,779
Come on.
1000
00:53:14,858 --> 00:53:16,781
And I'm not twinkly.
1001
00:53:17,403 --> 00:53:19,030
I don't twinkle with anyone else.
1002
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:22,282
You make me twinkly.
1003
00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:26,708
Ugh! God!
1004
00:53:26,787 --> 00:53:29,131
- That's supposed to be lucky.
1005
00:53:29,790 --> 00:53:32,088
Look, as might be evident, I've never
done this kind of thing before,
1006
00:53:32,126 --> 00:53:36,222
but I would regret it forever
if I didn't try everything I could.
1007
00:53:36,714 --> 00:53:40,594
Married or not,
I need to be with you, Nat.
1008
00:53:43,429 --> 00:53:45,227
Mind... Mind, um... Sorry.
1009
00:53:45,806 --> 00:53:48,776
I'm sorry. I can't do this. I'm sorry.
1010
00:53:50,644 --> 00:53:52,066
Sorry.
1011
00:53:58,944 --> 00:54:01,914
Perhaps in hindsight
you shouldn't have gone with the doves.
1012
00:54:02,322 --> 00:54:03,494
Thanks.
1013
00:54:06,285 --> 00:54:08,128
- You like those, sir?
- Uh, yeah.
1014
00:54:08,328 --> 00:54:11,673
Crotchless. Interesting, lovely, yeah.
Do you get much of a call for those?
1015
00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:13,670
- Shit.
- Everything all right in there?
1016
00:54:13,792 --> 00:54:16,261
Yeah, I just...
I think this hook is caught.
1017
00:54:16,336 --> 00:54:18,179
Yeah, I got it.
Uh, yeah, I have to admit
1018
00:54:18,338 --> 00:54:21,262
I'm not very good with
buttons or zips or that sort of thing.
1019
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:23,594
Usually I... Holy fucking shit.
1020
00:54:25,596 --> 00:54:27,197
I mean, who needs a dehumidifier, right?
1021
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:31,269
Sure, I get a bit of condensation on my
bedroom window sometimes, but it's fine.
1022
00:54:31,685 --> 00:54:34,313
- Will you just close the...
- Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry.
1023
00:54:34,855 --> 00:54:37,028
- Um...
- Look, were they always like that?
1024
00:54:37,149 --> 00:54:39,652
'Cause, I mean, they're unbelievable.
1025
00:54:39,693 --> 00:54:44,369
I just thought that
I would try something unpractical.
1026
00:54:46,033 --> 00:54:50,163
Do you think that Nat
would like something like this, or...
1027
00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:51,797
Nat?
1028
00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:55,376
Oh, of course.
Yeah, she'd look really nice.
1029
00:54:57,044 --> 00:54:58,842
She'd look good.
1030
00:54:58,879 --> 00:55:00,222
Um...
1031
00:55:00,547 --> 00:55:02,140
Yeah, but I think maybe the...
1032
00:55:02,216 --> 00:55:03,638
- I don't know if it's...
- What is it?
1033
00:55:03,717 --> 00:55:05,890
I don't know if it's caught on the tag.
1034
00:55:06,887 --> 00:55:08,059
I don't know what I did.
1035
00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:10,186
Your hair's in the way,
I'm just gonna...
1036
00:55:18,732 --> 00:55:21,235
You know those, um,
1037
00:55:21,735 --> 00:55:24,909
strips that they put in pants...
1038
00:55:25,906 --> 00:55:27,908
if you want to try them on?
1039
00:55:29,326 --> 00:55:32,921
Do you think that's to prevent
against gonorrhoea or chlamydia?
1040
00:55:34,581 --> 00:55:37,380
That's the one these days, Chlamydia.
That's...
1041
00:55:37,417 --> 00:55:39,920
Or so I've... so I've read.
1042
00:55:56,603 --> 00:55:58,776
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
I don't know why I did that.
1043
00:55:58,856 --> 00:56:02,201
No. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
1044
00:56:02,276 --> 00:56:04,870
Excuse me, sir,
will you be paying for that?
1045
00:56:06,947 --> 00:56:08,620
Christ, I expect so.
1046
00:56:09,032 --> 00:56:10,124
I'm sorry.
1047
00:56:10,242 --> 00:56:12,620
I'm sorry, I just wanted you to know
how I feel about you
1048
00:56:12,703 --> 00:56:16,003
- and I don't want to let you slip away.
- It's very complicated.
1049
00:56:16,123 --> 00:56:18,296
- Chloe, that was really bad.
- I know.
1050
00:56:18,375 --> 00:56:21,219
I mean, not the kiss or the visuals,
that was lovely,
1051
00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:23,589
- but I'm married.
- I know.
1052
00:56:23,797 --> 00:56:25,970
Oh, great, it's goddamn Beyoncé.
1053
00:56:26,216 --> 00:56:28,719
What?! Fuck!
1054
00:56:28,802 --> 00:56:31,146
- Beyoncé is my husband!
- What?
1055
00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:32,894
Beyoncé is my husband!
1056
00:56:33,473 --> 00:56:34,645
- Beyoncé is Josh.
- Him?
1057
00:56:34,766 --> 00:56:36,143
Yes.
1058
00:56:36,768 --> 00:56:38,065
Nat!
1059
00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:40,981
- Hello, darling!
- How weird!
1060
00:56:41,148 --> 00:56:43,150
- What a treat.
- How are you?
1061
00:56:43,817 --> 00:56:45,569
- Hi, Chloe.
- Hi.
1062
00:56:45,819 --> 00:56:48,288
- Guy, right?
- Yeah. Josh?
1063
00:56:48,322 --> 00:56:49,762
Yeah, that's right. Nice to see you.
1064
00:56:49,781 --> 00:56:53,001
Guy, this is Chloe.
She's a wonderful, uh...
1065
00:56:53,160 --> 00:56:54,332
charity worker.
1066
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:55,833
- Hi.
- Hi.
1067
00:56:55,996 --> 00:56:57,794
Yeah, we were just doing
some Christmas shopping.
1068
00:56:57,831 --> 00:56:59,174
We were just having a meeting
around the corner.
1069
00:56:59,291 --> 00:57:00,634
- Oh, were you?
- Yeah.
1070
00:57:00,667 --> 00:57:03,011
- Nice.
- Yeah.
1071
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,428
- Did you have fun last night?
- Oh, it was awesome, awesome.
1072
00:57:07,507 --> 00:57:10,681
Did you manage to get lucky
with the ladies?
1073
00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:14,682
No. Actually,
the girl I had my eye on blew me off.
1074
00:57:14,848 --> 00:57:17,101
I ended up alone in the hotel
with a mini sleeve of Pringles
1075
00:57:17,184 --> 00:57:19,152
watching Malaysian golf on Eurosport.
1076
00:57:19,186 --> 00:57:21,609
- That's hilarious.
1077
00:57:26,610 --> 00:57:28,704
I find that incredibly
difficult to believe.
1078
00:57:28,862 --> 00:57:29,988
Well, it's true, it's true.
1079
00:57:30,113 --> 00:57:31,615
What, a man as good-looking as you?
1080
00:57:31,698 --> 00:57:36,499
Fabulous face, amazing hair,
wonderful teeth.
1081
00:57:36,536 --> 00:57:38,538
- A real hunk of spunk.
- Thank you.
1082
00:57:38,622 --> 00:57:42,001
Amazing skin, that's what...
Hasn't he got incredible skin?
1083
00:57:42,876 --> 00:57:44,844
- You do.
- Thank you.
1084
00:57:44,878 --> 00:57:46,551
It's inspirational.
1085
00:57:47,839 --> 00:57:49,682
Chloe's single. Aren't you?
1086
00:57:50,717 --> 00:57:52,310
And she's American.
1087
00:57:52,386 --> 00:57:54,559
- And you're... you could...
- ...ride the subway
1088
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:57,229
and have a malt at the Five and Dime.
1089
00:57:57,349 --> 00:57:58,475
If that takes your fancy.
1090
00:57:59,685 --> 00:58:01,403
If you want to.
1091
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,568
- Are you okay?
- Yeah. Yeah.
1092
00:58:03,689 --> 00:58:05,609
Poor Chloe could probably think
of nothing worse,
1093
00:58:05,732 --> 00:58:07,734
but maybe if we all
went out together sometime,
1094
00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:10,408
- that could be cool.
- Ooh!
1095
00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:13,240
You could set that up,
couldn't you, Nat? Is that all right?
1096
00:58:13,323 --> 00:58:17,578
Yes, yes, absolutely.
I will organise it. I'll organise it.
1097
00:58:17,661 --> 00:58:18,753
Awesome.
1098
00:58:18,829 --> 00:58:20,001
- Great.
- Okay.
1099
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:21,753
- Dinner after Christmas.
- Dinner.
1100
00:58:21,873 --> 00:58:23,921
Yeah, sarsaparilla
and hot dogs all round.
1101
00:58:24,251 --> 00:58:26,424
- Very nice to meet you.
- You, too. You, too.
1102
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:33,936
Things really hit a low point
around Christmas.
1103
00:58:34,511 --> 00:58:37,105
His family's so weird.
1104
00:58:38,432 --> 00:58:40,605
- That's not nice.
- They are. Come on.
1105
00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:44,943
I caught your mother googling,
"Can cat urine be used as fertiliser?"
1106
00:58:45,022 --> 00:58:47,616
She's got lots of cat urine.
She might as well use it.
1107
00:58:48,358 --> 00:58:50,406
Why the fuck has she got
lots of cat urine?
1108
00:58:50,527 --> 00:58:53,371
Hey! Merry Christmas!
1109
00:58:54,197 --> 00:58:55,758
At least my family are friendly.
1110
00:58:55,782 --> 00:58:58,285
- Nat!
- Hi, Mum. You all right?
1111
00:58:58,869 --> 00:59:01,543
You didn't exactly endear yourself
with the charades debacle.
1112
00:59:03,040 --> 00:59:04,132
Here we go.
1113
00:59:06,710 --> 00:59:08,428
- Play.
- Television.
1114
00:59:10,130 --> 00:59:12,383
Four words. First word.
1115
00:59:13,091 --> 00:59:15,139
- Unconscious.
- Dead.
1116
00:59:15,218 --> 00:59:18,313
- Tapping. Computer.
- Hanging. Vera Duck.
1117
00:59:18,430 --> 00:59:19,807
- Letters.
- Braille.
1118
00:59:19,931 --> 00:59:21,774
- Red.
- Impotent! Thick!
1119
00:59:21,808 --> 00:59:23,105
- Stupid.
- Man.
1120
00:59:23,143 --> 00:59:24,235
- Effeminate.
- Husband?
1121
00:59:24,311 --> 00:59:25,912
- Annoying idiot.
- Father?
1122
00:59:25,937 --> 00:59:28,156
Disappointment. Shame. Regret.
1123
00:59:28,231 --> 00:59:29,323
- Profession.
- Lazy.
1124
00:59:29,441 --> 00:59:31,443
Doctor. "Doctor," thank you.
1125
00:59:31,485 --> 00:59:34,159
"Doctor" is not the first thing
you think of when you look at him.
1126
00:59:34,279 --> 00:59:36,247
- Four words. Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde!
- Doctor Zhivago.
1127
00:59:36,323 --> 00:59:38,451
Quick, quick, quick,
you've got a minute!
1128
00:59:38,492 --> 00:59:39,789
Go, go, go!
1129
00:59:39,826 --> 00:59:42,579
- Second word.
- Sounds like... sister.
1130
00:59:43,163 --> 00:59:44,836
- Nat.
- Fit. Sexy.
1131
00:59:44,915 --> 00:59:47,134
- Young girl?
- Wife. Uh, woman.
1132
00:59:47,459 --> 00:59:50,008
Nat, bat, sat, rat, cat, hat.
1133
00:59:50,087 --> 00:59:52,010
Wife. Beautiful. Uh... The splits!
1134
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:53,803
- Cellist!
- Cello!
1135
00:59:53,840 --> 00:59:56,514
- Hilary and Jackie.
- Family. Family.
1136
00:59:57,177 --> 00:59:58,520
- What are you...
- Barren.
1137
00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:01,641
Baron Münchausen! Sorry, no. Um...
1138
01:00:03,600 --> 01:00:05,273
Um...
1139
01:00:06,770 --> 01:00:07,942
Vagina.
1140
01:00:08,772 --> 01:00:12,197
Pussy. Minge. Twat. Foo-foo.
1141
01:00:12,442 --> 01:00:14,991
Clunge. Uh, growler.
1142
01:00:15,028 --> 01:00:16,120
Quim.
1143
01:00:16,196 --> 01:00:18,369
Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim! Quim!
1144
01:00:18,448 --> 01:00:20,041
Dr Quim and his Casebooks!
1145
01:00:20,450 --> 01:00:22,544
- Dr Quinn Medicine Woman.
- That's it.
1146
01:00:23,954 --> 01:00:25,627
- Get away from me.
- What?
1147
01:00:26,706 --> 01:00:28,466
- You all right, Mother?
1148
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:29,797
What else rhymes with "Quinn"?
1149
01:00:30,460 --> 01:00:31,677
Sounds like "chin"?
1150
01:00:32,546 --> 01:00:34,139
Sounds like "bin".
1151
01:00:34,214 --> 01:00:35,807
Yeah, all right, bloody Lionel Blair.
1152
01:00:36,049 --> 01:00:37,722
Look, I was tired.
1153
01:00:38,343 --> 01:00:40,186
I'd hardly slept,
I wasn't thinking straight
1154
01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:42,894
because your evil stepdad
had put me in that bedroom.
1155
01:00:43,014 --> 01:00:45,233
- Just to punish me.
1156
01:00:45,392 --> 01:00:48,066
I would argue that you got
a better night's sleep
1157
01:00:48,186 --> 01:00:50,546
- than I did at your parents' house.
1158
01:00:50,564 --> 01:00:51,565
- Oh, Brian!
- Elaine!
1159
01:00:51,690 --> 01:00:53,692
Oh, Brian, you know
just what I like!
1160
01:00:53,733 --> 01:00:55,906
- Tits or face? Tits or face?
- Tits.
1161
01:00:57,529 --> 01:00:58,576
Wrong answer!
1162
01:00:58,655 --> 01:01:01,659
- Oh, Brian! Oh, my God.
- Sorry, darling.
1163
01:01:02,075 --> 01:01:03,418
Yeah, well, your parents
made it perfectly clear
1164
01:01:03,535 --> 01:01:04,536
what they thought of me.
1165
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:07,547
- What have you got?
- Fantastic!
1166
01:01:07,581 --> 01:01:10,255
- Digital photo frame.
- Wonderful!
1167
01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:12,423
You just put a memory stick in
and it makes a slide show.
1168
01:01:12,460 --> 01:01:14,428
We've got our camera on us,
we'll have to try it out later.
1169
01:01:14,462 --> 01:01:16,464
That is fabulous. "ReKapture."
1170
01:01:16,590 --> 01:01:18,388
My go? Thank you. Who's this from?
1171
01:01:18,425 --> 01:01:19,722
Mum and Dad!
1172
01:01:20,260 --> 01:01:21,762
Cracking.
1173
01:01:25,098 --> 01:01:26,896
How to be a Successful Writer.
1174
01:01:28,143 --> 01:01:29,816
And, um, Stop Wasting Your Life.
1175
01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:33,444
- Good idea.
- Unbelievable.
1176
01:01:33,481 --> 01:01:35,575
- My family hate him...
- They hate me.
1177
01:01:35,775 --> 01:01:37,448
...his family get under my skin,
1178
01:01:37,569 --> 01:01:40,288
and, at a time when we should have
felt happy and close,
1179
01:01:40,822 --> 01:01:42,183
I couldn't have felt more distant.
1180
01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:47,163
Explain again what your book's about.
1181
01:01:47,245 --> 01:01:51,295
Well, my hero is a young
history professor called Ezra
1182
01:01:51,416 --> 01:01:54,386
who, with the help of
a young American aid worker,
1183
01:01:54,461 --> 01:01:58,466
discovers this man in Borneo
who claims to be Muhammad.
1184
01:01:59,716 --> 01:02:03,641
So it's a meditation, really,
on the veracity and origins of faith.
1185
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:05,939
If he ever gets round to finishing it.
1186
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:07,774
Oi!
1187
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:10,144
Another drink, Josh?
1188
01:02:10,268 --> 01:02:11,565
Oh, that'd be lovely, thank you.
1189
01:02:23,281 --> 01:02:25,625
Oh, that's gorgeous.
1190
01:02:26,660 --> 01:02:29,004
- Ice?
- Uh, yes, please.
1191
01:02:29,663 --> 01:02:30,915
Mmm.
1192
01:02:30,997 --> 01:02:32,999
That's sweet.
1193
01:02:35,293 --> 01:02:36,966
Are you sure there's
nothing I can do to help?
1194
01:02:37,003 --> 01:02:38,596
- No, thank you, I'm fine.
- I have to help!
1195
01:02:38,672 --> 01:02:40,015
Oh!
1196
01:02:40,799 --> 01:02:41,925
Mince pie, Alec?
1197
01:02:43,134 --> 01:02:44,681
- No, thank you.
- Are you sure?
1198
01:02:44,803 --> 01:02:46,100
Why are you standing like that?
1199
01:02:46,179 --> 01:02:47,476
Just offering Alec a mince pie.
1200
01:02:47,514 --> 01:02:48,766
He doesn't want a mince pie.
1201
01:02:48,848 --> 01:02:50,475
- You don't... You don't?
- No.
1202
01:02:52,018 --> 01:02:53,440
Just stand up.
1203
01:02:55,146 --> 01:02:57,695
That's that market we went to
in Taroudant.
1204
01:02:57,816 --> 01:02:59,614
- Let me see, darling.
- Yes.
1205
01:02:59,693 --> 01:03:01,991
Um, it was gorgeous,
they had the most incredible figs.
1206
01:03:02,028 --> 01:03:04,068
I'm sure nobody
wants to hear about the figs.
1207
01:03:04,114 --> 01:03:05,832
Because it wasn't very...
Look at the cat!
1208
01:03:05,865 --> 01:03:07,287
Fucking little cocksucker.
1209
01:03:08,034 --> 01:03:09,206
Give this back to me.
1210
01:03:10,036 --> 01:03:11,333
Give it!
1211
01:03:12,622 --> 01:03:14,044
Just sit down.
1212
01:03:15,834 --> 01:03:17,051
Goodness me.
1213
01:03:17,168 --> 01:03:19,341
- Is it still working?
- Yes.
1214
01:03:19,379 --> 01:03:24,010
This is the town square. They had
snake charmers and performing monkeys.
1215
01:03:24,134 --> 01:03:25,852
Oh! That looks so magical.
1216
01:03:26,845 --> 01:03:28,347
Me with a monkey.
1217
01:03:28,513 --> 01:03:30,231
Darling, you look so sweet.
1218
01:03:31,224 --> 01:03:33,898
Oh! Me trying on those slippers.
They were very pretty.
1219
01:03:33,977 --> 01:03:35,399
They look it.
1220
01:03:36,229 --> 01:03:37,321
Us having cocktails.
1221
01:03:37,397 --> 01:03:39,491
There was a beautiful bar
at the top of the hotel.
1222
01:03:39,566 --> 01:03:41,068
We'd go there every evening.
1223
01:03:41,484 --> 01:03:43,532
Us having more cocktails.
1224
01:04:08,928 --> 01:04:10,430
It was a junior suite.
1225
01:04:10,555 --> 01:04:12,933
Uh... Not terribly expensive.
1226
01:04:13,767 --> 01:04:17,237
Lovely view of the orchards.
In fact, you can... If you just...
1227
01:04:17,437 --> 01:04:20,407
You can just see in the
background there, the... Phwoar.
1228
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:24,243
That's doggy style.
1229
01:04:25,320 --> 01:04:27,243
Nat's favourite. Isn't it, Nat?
1230
01:04:36,664 --> 01:04:38,462
Why don't I drive?
1231
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:40,400
You drive like you've got a vagina.
1232
01:04:40,418 --> 01:04:43,297
You could do.
Or I could glue myself to a deckchair
1233
01:04:43,380 --> 01:04:44,848
and you could kick me down a stairwell.
1234
01:04:44,923 --> 01:04:47,676
Both about as enjoyable.
Both about as likely to happen.
1235
01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:50,478
Why do you do it?
1236
01:04:50,553 --> 01:04:53,022
Why are you still together?
You hate each other.
1237
01:04:53,098 --> 01:04:55,851
Of course we do, but that's marriage.
1238
01:04:56,851 --> 01:04:58,853
I mean, you embrace the hatred.
1239
01:04:59,938 --> 01:05:01,815
And I married a man
who wears driving gloves.
1240
01:05:01,898 --> 01:05:03,195
Actually helps you get purchase.
1241
01:05:03,274 --> 01:05:05,368
Don't say "purchase".
1242
01:05:05,610 --> 01:05:09,240
But how do you know that the hate
won't outweigh the love?
1243
01:05:09,322 --> 01:05:11,825
How do you know there's not
someone better out there for you?
1244
01:05:11,908 --> 01:05:14,411
Well, Christ, there is.
Of course there is.
1245
01:05:15,328 --> 01:05:17,296
But marriage is about living
with the imperfections, isn't it?
1246
01:05:17,372 --> 01:05:19,420
I mean, look at that stupid ginger face.
1247
01:05:20,458 --> 01:05:22,381
It's true. I'd miss her.
1248
01:05:22,460 --> 01:05:24,258
Look at those beautiful eyes,
big warm heart.
1249
01:05:24,337 --> 01:05:26,385
You know, she hasn't aged a day
since I met her.
1250
01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:30,435
And as you get to know each other more,
well, you love each other more.
1251
01:05:30,760 --> 01:05:32,478
No, don't you try and kiss me.
1252
01:05:37,267 --> 01:05:39,019
- Did you forget something?
- Yeah.
1253
01:05:40,228 --> 01:05:42,572
- We're gonna hit traffic, you know.
- Yeah, you will.
1254
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:47,368
Tonight should be interesting.
1255
01:05:47,444 --> 01:05:49,617
They could be really right
for each other.
1256
01:05:49,696 --> 01:05:52,575
Because Chloe's so sweet,
and Guy seems all right.
1257
01:05:52,657 --> 01:05:55,035
What do you think? What about that?
1258
01:05:55,160 --> 01:05:56,503
No?
1259
01:05:56,870 --> 01:05:58,122
Yeah.
1260
01:05:58,204 --> 01:06:01,925
Chloe's lovely.
I don't know how you let her slip away.
1261
01:06:02,250 --> 01:06:04,002
What, Chloe? No!
1262
01:06:05,003 --> 01:06:07,426
She's too nice. She's too perfect.
1263
01:06:07,505 --> 01:06:09,633
A little of Chloe goes a long way.
1264
01:06:09,716 --> 01:06:11,434
Yeah, I mean,
she can be kind of grating.
1265
01:06:11,509 --> 01:06:14,388
Totally. This one? Rugby?
1266
01:06:15,555 --> 01:06:16,647
No?
1267
01:06:17,223 --> 01:06:20,477
But Guy, I mean, he's quite a catch.
He's just your type, really.
1268
01:06:20,560 --> 01:06:24,064
No, he's too slick
for his own good.
1269
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:25,983
Bit too American.
1270
01:06:26,733 --> 01:06:28,733
You're my type.
I don't really go for good-looking.
1271
01:06:29,319 --> 01:06:30,662
Oh.
1272
01:06:35,200 --> 01:06:38,670
Hi. Great to see you.
You're looking very sexy.
1273
01:06:38,745 --> 01:06:39,997
And, Nat, you look good, too.
1274
01:06:44,626 --> 01:06:45,906
Uh, you two pop yourselves down.
1275
01:06:45,919 --> 01:06:47,216
I'm gonna nip off
to the little boys' room.
1276
01:06:47,295 --> 01:06:49,798
See if I can find myself
some little boys.
1277
01:06:49,881 --> 01:06:52,134
Obviously not.
Just gonna go for a quick wee.
1278
01:06:52,217 --> 01:06:53,264
Not the other.
1279
01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:57,393
Sorry about that.
1280
01:07:04,270 --> 01:07:06,364
So, is tonight not a bit weird?
1281
01:07:06,439 --> 01:07:08,692
Do you promise
not to get insanely jealous?
1282
01:07:10,443 --> 01:07:11,786
Honestly.
1283
01:07:12,737 --> 01:07:15,991
Chloe is fantastic. You'll love her.
1284
01:07:16,658 --> 01:07:21,164
She's the best. The best!
She's so kind. Wonderfully kind.
1285
01:07:21,246 --> 01:07:23,590
- Mmm. Mmm.
- And pretty. She's very pretty.
1286
01:07:23,665 --> 01:07:26,635
Definitely, she's so pretty.
Hundred percent.
1287
01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:33,425
Hey, Chloe, you're here.
1288
01:07:33,508 --> 01:07:36,512
Yeah. Look, if this is weird, I can go.
1289
01:07:36,636 --> 01:07:39,856
It's just that, you know, you set it up
and you didn't seem to mind.
1290
01:07:39,931 --> 01:07:41,649
No, I don't mind, it's not weird.
Why would I find it weird?
1291
01:07:41,724 --> 01:07:44,773
Listen, the bloke's a bit of a twat,
but you might like him.
1292
01:07:45,311 --> 01:07:47,439
Oh, yeah! I love a twat.
1293
01:07:47,522 --> 01:07:49,570
Single girl, looking for a guy.
1294
01:07:49,649 --> 01:07:51,947
No non-twats considered.
1295
01:07:52,026 --> 01:07:53,306
Oh, shit. Okay, they've seen us.
1296
01:07:54,612 --> 01:07:56,455
Let's go do this.
1297
01:07:56,531 --> 01:08:00,707
Okay, final game.
It's Brits one, Yanks one.
1298
01:08:00,785 --> 01:08:03,629
We owe this to our great nation
to win this, Chloe.
1299
01:08:03,705 --> 01:08:04,957
- Let's do it.
- Yes, sir!
1300
01:08:05,039 --> 01:08:07,462
Just look at us. We're all getting on
like a house on fire.
1301
01:08:07,542 --> 01:08:09,294
I've never really understood
that phrase.
1302
01:08:09,377 --> 01:08:10,424
- Exactly why is it good
1303
01:08:10,503 --> 01:08:13,382
to get on like a house on fire? I mean,
there might be small kids left inside.
1304
01:08:13,464 --> 01:08:14,556
- Think of them.
- I know!
1305
01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:17,135
And the possibility of asphyxiation...
1306
01:08:17,218 --> 01:08:19,338
Or at the very least,
the loss of any no-claims bonus.
1307
01:08:20,638 --> 01:08:21,981
It's just a metaphor.
1308
01:08:22,056 --> 01:08:24,525
It means something that's
uncontrollable, has momentum.
1309
01:08:24,642 --> 01:08:26,610
Exactly. So, tell me this.
1310
01:08:26,686 --> 01:08:29,246
What would be the first thing
you'd save in a fire? Let me guess.
1311
01:08:29,522 --> 01:08:31,274
- Jimmy Choos.
- Your wedding ring.
1312
01:08:33,067 --> 01:08:34,944
Well, obviously my wedding ring.
1313
01:08:35,028 --> 01:08:37,451
But I've got two hands, haven't I?
1314
01:08:37,530 --> 01:08:39,032
She does love that ring.
1315
01:08:39,616 --> 01:08:42,210
The first thing I noticed about you.
Wasn't it?
1316
01:09:00,011 --> 01:09:01,058
Sorry, Nat. Excuse me.
1317
01:09:07,644 --> 01:09:08,691
Fuck off.
1318
01:09:09,937 --> 01:09:11,280
Yeah, that's too bad.
1319
01:09:11,731 --> 01:09:13,859
I'd probably rescue that necklace
that I got you
1320
01:09:13,941 --> 01:09:15,739
when we got engaged in Venice.
1321
01:09:15,818 --> 01:09:17,946
That's sweet. It's beautiful.
1322
01:09:19,947 --> 01:09:21,494
How about you, Chloe?
1323
01:09:21,616 --> 01:09:24,290
I'm guessing something
sentimental, emotional?
1324
01:09:25,119 --> 01:09:26,166
Um...
1325
01:09:26,245 --> 01:09:28,043
- It's your shot, Guy.
- Sorry?
1326
01:09:28,122 --> 01:09:30,875
- It's your shot, mate.
- Sorry.
1327
01:09:30,958 --> 01:09:33,211
You wouldn't really head for the shoes,
though, would you, Chloe?
1328
01:09:33,294 --> 01:09:34,967
Fashion's not really your thing.
1329
01:09:35,254 --> 01:09:37,302
Why would it be?
I mean, look at her.
1330
01:09:37,423 --> 01:09:38,823
She'd make anything look fantastic.
1331
01:09:40,134 --> 01:09:42,808
- She'd make a sack look incredible.
- Thanks.
1332
01:09:42,887 --> 01:09:44,013
Good shot.
1333
01:09:44,097 --> 01:09:47,271
Yeah, it's like, what's the opposite of,
"You cannot polish a turd"?
1334
01:09:47,558 --> 01:09:49,276
She's an already polished turd.
1335
01:09:49,560 --> 01:09:52,154
She's a turd buffed to a high sheen.
1336
01:09:53,064 --> 01:09:54,316
Thanks.
1337
01:09:54,857 --> 01:09:55,904
Unlucky, pal.
1338
01:09:55,983 --> 01:09:57,405
Yeah, honestly, if the stuff burnt up,
1339
01:09:57,485 --> 01:10:00,329
I think I'd just view it
as a chance to start over,
1340
01:10:00,405 --> 01:10:04,785
you know, have a new adventure. I'm not
too bothered by material possessions.
1341
01:10:04,867 --> 01:10:07,336
All right, come down on it a bit.
1342
01:10:07,745 --> 01:10:09,167
Come on.
1343
01:10:09,247 --> 01:10:11,007
And use your arm
to go back and forth with it
1344
01:10:11,040 --> 01:10:12,641
so you really get a nice pumping action.
1345
01:10:12,917 --> 01:10:14,043
Then go through the ball,
1346
01:10:14,127 --> 01:10:16,095
and you want to hit it
on the edge there.
1347
01:10:16,170 --> 01:10:17,922
Ah, ah, ah! If you put the cue
1348
01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:19,773
between your thumb
and your first finger,
1349
01:10:19,799 --> 01:10:21,927
you'll find it easier to get...
That's it.
1350
01:10:21,968 --> 01:10:24,938
Now get this moving
before you take the shot.
1351
01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:26,133
Come down a bit lower on it.
1352
01:10:26,764 --> 01:10:28,812
Don't take the...
Come on, not that low.
1353
01:10:29,642 --> 01:10:32,942
That's it.
Now play through the ball, and breathe.
1354
01:10:35,022 --> 01:10:36,319
There's no point, is there?
1355
01:10:36,399 --> 01:10:38,993
If we're not gonna do it properly,
it's like, what's the point?
1356
01:10:39,068 --> 01:10:40,445
- There's no point in playing, is there?
- Nice try.
1357
01:10:40,528 --> 01:10:42,326
Oh, I think it's my shot.
1358
01:10:42,405 --> 01:10:43,782
I think Chloe's right.
1359
01:10:43,865 --> 01:10:48,120
I mean, nice things is great,
but ultimately, so what?
1360
01:10:48,202 --> 01:10:50,204
As long as the people you love are safe.
1361
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,374
That's it. You got that?
1362
01:10:53,499 --> 01:10:54,716
Good shot, Chloe.
1363
01:10:54,792 --> 01:10:56,214
- Did you see that?
1364
01:10:56,294 --> 01:10:58,092
That was... Wow!
1365
01:10:58,171 --> 01:11:00,424
I can't believe it. Oh!
1366
01:11:00,590 --> 01:11:03,639
- It'll never happen again.
- Oh, it will. Be positive.
1367
01:11:03,718 --> 01:11:06,312
No. Once in a lifetime.
1368
01:11:07,138 --> 01:11:09,641
It's so sweet,
what you said about that necklace.
1369
01:11:09,724 --> 01:11:10,725
Yeah.
1370
01:11:10,808 --> 01:11:13,652
- I should wear it more often.
- Okay. What do you think?
1371
01:11:13,728 --> 01:11:16,902
- I think you're good on your own.
- Oh, you touched the cue ball.
1372
01:11:16,981 --> 01:11:18,358
- Oh.
- So...
1373
01:11:18,441 --> 01:11:20,034
- Really?
- I mean, if you want to play proper...
1374
01:11:20,109 --> 01:11:21,986
No, it's fine if you want to...
1375
01:11:22,069 --> 01:11:23,537
- Okay.
- Sorry.
1376
01:11:23,613 --> 01:11:25,035
- Happens all the time, don't worry.
- I'm sorry.
1377
01:11:25,114 --> 01:11:26,286
It's two shots if...
1378
01:11:26,365 --> 01:11:28,868
- No, no, it's cool. You...
- All right. No, no. No, go ahead.
1379
01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:30,328
- I don't want to be a dick about it...
- No!
1380
01:11:30,411 --> 01:11:31,451
- Too late.
- Are you sure?
1381
01:11:31,496 --> 01:11:32,656
- Take your two shots.
- Fine.
1382
01:11:32,789 --> 01:11:34,791
- Well, that was fun.
- Yeah.
1383
01:11:34,874 --> 01:11:36,501
We should do it again.
What do you say, Josh?
1384
01:11:36,584 --> 01:11:38,131
Give you Brits a chance for revenge?
1385
01:11:38,252 --> 01:11:40,880
Oh, yeah, 'cause...
When my elbow's a bit better,
1386
01:11:40,963 --> 01:11:42,590
I'll be able to give you
a much better game. Probably win.
1387
01:11:42,673 --> 01:11:44,346
Yeah, that sounds fun.
1388
01:11:44,425 --> 01:11:45,517
Can I walk you to your car?
1389
01:11:45,635 --> 01:11:48,229
Oh, you know,
I'm just gonna catch a cab,
1390
01:11:48,304 --> 01:11:50,147
but you can wait with me if you like.
1391
01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:51,941
- Be my pleasure.
- Okay.
1392
01:11:52,016 --> 01:11:54,986
Actually, Guy, do you mind
if I quickly grab you for two minutes?
1393
01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:57,189
Just to talk packaging
before the meeting.
1394
01:11:57,522 --> 01:11:58,648
Is that okay?
1395
01:11:59,482 --> 01:12:01,484
- Sure.
- Thanks. Sorry.
1396
01:12:02,235 --> 01:12:04,329
Well, I could help you
get a cab, if you want.
1397
01:12:04,654 --> 01:12:05,780
And I'll wait with you.
1398
01:12:07,615 --> 01:12:09,333
Okay, yeah.
1399
01:12:10,868 --> 01:12:12,745
- I had a blast, partner.
- Oh!
1400
01:12:12,829 --> 01:12:15,002
We are what make our nation great.
1401
01:12:15,456 --> 01:12:18,084
I'd like to check out that Kandinsky
thing you were talking about.
1402
01:12:18,167 --> 01:12:20,090
That sounds very interesting.
1403
01:12:20,628 --> 01:12:22,175
Thank you.
1404
01:12:24,674 --> 01:12:26,676
Aw, that's nice. All right?
1405
01:12:26,759 --> 01:12:28,386
Okay, I'll see you back at the flat.
1406
01:12:28,469 --> 01:12:30,597
All right. All the best.
1407
01:12:33,057 --> 01:12:34,497
I presume we need to make a decision
1408
01:12:34,559 --> 01:12:37,654
on the LinkWorth tender
for the branding.
1409
01:12:38,396 --> 01:12:39,443
What are your thoughts?
1410
01:12:45,278 --> 01:12:47,827
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I thought you said that this...
1411
01:13:00,793 --> 01:13:03,342
Oh, Christ, even your
underwear's amazing.
1412
01:13:08,217 --> 01:13:10,390
- It's a little fiddly.
1413
01:13:11,387 --> 01:13:13,139
Just rip it off. Just rip it!
1414
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:14,895
- There it is!
1415
01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:20,400
That Guy's so dull. He's so bland.
1416
01:13:20,980 --> 01:13:22,482
You don't like him, do you?
1417
01:13:22,815 --> 01:13:24,112
Taxi!
1418
01:13:25,234 --> 01:13:26,577
No?
1419
01:13:28,654 --> 01:13:32,158
What's going on, Josh?
What are we even doing?
1420
01:13:33,576 --> 01:13:35,670
What do you mean? Taxi!
1421
01:13:36,704 --> 01:13:38,627
Your light's on! Put your light...
1422
01:13:38,915 --> 01:13:40,292
His light was on. Why would...
1423
01:13:42,043 --> 01:13:44,387
You realise I love you, don't you?
1424
01:13:45,087 --> 01:13:47,340
I'm in love with a man
who just got married
1425
01:13:47,423 --> 01:13:49,721
and we're both pretending
that it's fine.
1426
01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:51,473
Tonight was so fucked-up!
1427
01:13:51,552 --> 01:13:52,929
Taxi!
1428
01:13:56,349 --> 01:13:58,898
No, no.
Uh, excuse me, excuse me. No.
1429
01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:00,774
No, no, no, you don't do that.
1430
01:14:00,853 --> 01:14:02,855
That's not how
decent people behave, is it?
1431
01:14:02,939 --> 01:14:05,237
How is society supposed to function
1432
01:14:05,316 --> 01:14:08,616
with people like you
dragging us into a cesspit?
1433
01:14:08,986 --> 01:14:10,363
Mmm? We're not animals!
1434
01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:13,954
- Sorry, we just didn't see you.
- Didn't realise it was your taxi.
1435
01:14:14,033 --> 01:14:16,206
- Please, take it.
- Take it, you can have it.
1436
01:14:16,285 --> 01:14:18,287
So sorry. I'm sorry.
1437
01:14:19,080 --> 01:14:20,377
What am I supposed to do?
1438
01:14:20,456 --> 01:14:23,050
I can't just walk out of a marriage
after nine months.
1439
01:14:23,125 --> 01:14:24,342
Why not?
1440
01:14:24,418 --> 01:14:27,342
Pride? Afraid of what people will say?
1441
01:14:28,297 --> 01:14:31,801
Figure out what you actually
want to fight for, Josh.
1442
01:14:32,218 --> 01:14:33,470
When I went to Africa,
1443
01:14:33,552 --> 01:14:36,021
I convinced myself
that we were too young
1444
01:14:36,097 --> 01:14:37,690
and somebody better would come along,
1445
01:14:37,765 --> 01:14:39,767
but they never did
and they still haven't.
1446
01:14:40,476 --> 01:14:43,901
And now, every time I see you, I think,
1447
01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:45,527
why didn't you stop me?
1448
01:14:46,607 --> 01:14:48,780
Why didn't you fight?
1449
01:14:52,446 --> 01:14:54,289
This has to stop.
1450
01:14:55,116 --> 01:14:57,210
I can't see you any more.
1451
01:14:58,244 --> 01:14:59,996
You're married.
1452
01:15:00,579 --> 01:15:04,129
I can't see you any more.
1453
01:15:17,888 --> 01:15:19,982
- Dinner and a show, was it?
- As it happens.
1454
01:15:20,057 --> 01:15:21,934
Yeah? Nice.
1455
01:15:22,018 --> 01:15:23,486
Sorry.
1456
01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:42,834
We need to talk.
1457
01:15:43,330 --> 01:15:45,378
We do, yeah.
1458
01:15:46,625 --> 01:15:48,627
I don't know what's happening here,
1459
01:15:49,378 --> 01:15:51,005
but it's been nine months
1460
01:15:52,173 --> 01:15:53,390
and neither of us is happy
1461
01:15:54,925 --> 01:15:56,518
and I don't know how to change things.
1462
01:15:56,844 --> 01:15:59,814
I just never imagined that marriage
would be this difficult, you know?
1463
01:16:01,766 --> 01:16:04,019
I don't want to be Hugh and Naomi.
1464
01:16:04,101 --> 01:16:06,604
I don't want to constantly row
over whether the bin's full or not.
1465
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:09,110
I don't see what's wrong with compacting
the rubbish to make more space...
1466
01:16:09,190 --> 01:16:11,943
- I'm not rowing about the bin again.
- Neither am I.
1467
01:16:15,571 --> 01:16:19,951
Look, if you want to walk away,
I understand.
1468
01:16:20,993 --> 01:16:22,245
Well, is that what you want?
1469
01:16:22,703 --> 01:16:24,125
That's not what I'm saying.
1470
01:16:24,205 --> 01:16:26,325
Because it sounds like
you don't want to make it work.
1471
01:16:27,833 --> 01:16:29,154
Stop putting words into my mouth.
1472
01:16:29,168 --> 01:16:31,009
You're the one who said
marriage was difficult.
1473
01:16:31,045 --> 01:16:33,548
Yeah, but I didn't say anything
about walking away.
1474
01:16:34,673 --> 01:16:37,552
So, if you want to give up...
1475
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:40,016
I'm not the one giving up.
1476
01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:41,647
Well, nor am I.
1477
01:16:42,223 --> 01:16:43,349
Well,
1478
01:16:43,474 --> 01:16:44,566
good.
1479
01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:46,693
That's good.
1480
01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:52,901
So what do we do?
1481
01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:55,740
So, that's why
we've come here today.
1482
01:16:56,570 --> 01:16:57,662
We've hit our low point,
1483
01:16:57,738 --> 01:17:01,288
but we're committed
to making our marriage succeed.
1484
01:17:03,369 --> 01:17:05,337
You should just cut your losses now
1485
01:17:05,412 --> 01:17:07,915
before your life
becomes a series of squabbles
1486
01:17:08,040 --> 01:17:10,088
about who's meant to pick the kids up,
1487
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:15,219
who put the King's Speech DVD
back in the Sound of Music DVD case.
1488
01:17:15,673 --> 01:17:17,596
I suppose,
if you really want to make it work,
1489
01:17:17,716 --> 01:17:21,596
you could try focusing
on making it to a year.
1490
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:26,192
Commit to a life with each other
for the next three months.
1491
01:17:49,999 --> 01:17:51,125
What is it?
1492
01:17:51,625 --> 01:17:53,548
- Is it a film?
1493
01:17:53,627 --> 01:17:55,004
- How many words?
- Novel?
1494
01:17:55,087 --> 01:17:57,089
Well, you must know
how many words there are.
1495
01:17:57,173 --> 01:17:58,971
Sounds like?
1496
01:18:22,364 --> 01:18:24,867
I understand you're looking to sell.
1497
01:18:27,828 --> 01:18:29,501
I'm from Foxtons.
1498
01:18:34,627 --> 01:18:36,675
♬ We built this city
1499
01:18:38,005 --> 01:18:41,350
♬ We built this city
On the wrong damn road
1500
01:18:41,467 --> 01:18:42,969
♬ Built this city
1501
01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:44,602
Boom, boom.
1502
01:18:44,678 --> 01:18:46,430
♬ We built this city
1503
01:18:46,513 --> 01:18:50,393
♬ On the wrong damn road
♬ ...and roll
1504
01:18:52,061 --> 01:18:54,109
♬ Johnny played the bongos...
1505
01:19:16,085 --> 01:19:20,135
So, this time last year,
you'd been Mrs Moss for...
1506
01:19:20,214 --> 01:19:22,637
Sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty...
1507
01:19:22,716 --> 01:19:24,684
...an hour and eight minutes.
1508
01:19:25,511 --> 01:19:27,639
We made it.
1509
01:19:28,180 --> 01:19:30,023
One year.
1510
01:19:31,141 --> 01:19:33,519
We should be proud of ourselves.
1511
01:19:38,524 --> 01:19:40,197
Ta-da.
1512
01:19:41,193 --> 01:19:45,369
I thought I'd bring out the big guns
for a special occasion.
1513
01:19:46,198 --> 01:19:48,542
- Could you help do me up?
- Yeah.
1514
01:19:59,420 --> 01:20:00,967
I think two of these hooks are broken.
1515
01:20:02,589 --> 01:20:04,512
- Oh. Really?
- Yeah, I think so.
1516
01:20:04,591 --> 01:20:09,097
- God. Um, let me fix it.
- All right.
1517
01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:26,239
Hon, I've just remembered
I've got to do something. Um...
1518
01:20:26,822 --> 01:20:29,917
I'll see you at the restaurant.
Tell Hugh and Naomi, okay?
1519
01:20:30,159 --> 01:20:33,629
- Sure. I'll see you there.
1520
01:21:04,610 --> 01:21:07,238
You know, you haven't even
told me where we're going yet.
1521
01:21:08,113 --> 01:21:10,411
I wanted to surprise you.
1522
01:21:18,916 --> 01:21:21,795
- Surprise!
1523
01:21:22,711 --> 01:21:23,803
What's going on?
1524
01:21:23,879 --> 01:21:25,631
I wanted to organise
a little party for you.
1525
01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:28,017
A year is a big achievement.
1526
01:21:28,092 --> 01:21:29,514
Where is your stupid husband?
1527
01:21:36,475 --> 01:21:38,523
Did you remember your passport?
1528
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:41,192
Here.
1529
01:21:41,271 --> 01:21:42,944
Is this human trafficking?
1530
01:21:43,023 --> 01:21:46,118
You're not gonna keep it
and sell me to a gang of Albanians
1531
01:21:46,193 --> 01:21:48,412
who'll make me pleasure
25 truck drivers a day
1532
01:21:48,487 --> 01:21:51,582
at some port in Belgium
for me to earn it back, are you?
1533
01:21:51,657 --> 01:21:54,501
No, no. Absolutely not.
1534
01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:56,958
It's a terrible situation, though.
1535
01:21:57,663 --> 01:21:59,381
Those women...
1536
01:22:00,165 --> 01:22:04,796
I can't help but think they all just
started life as someone's little baby.
1537
01:22:07,548 --> 01:22:08,674
He's still not picking up.
1538
01:22:10,008 --> 01:22:11,134
He's never usually late.
1539
01:22:11,218 --> 01:22:13,641
God, can we start without him?
I'm starving.
1540
01:22:13,720 --> 01:22:15,188
We've been here forever.
1541
01:22:15,264 --> 01:22:17,584
I can't believe he's late
for our first-anniversary dinner.
1542
01:22:17,683 --> 01:22:19,083
I can't believe you even made it...
1543
01:22:19,143 --> 01:22:21,145
...to your first-anniversary dinner.
1544
01:22:21,687 --> 01:22:22,904
- What?
- Hmm?
1545
01:22:23,021 --> 01:22:24,022
Mmm?
1546
01:22:26,775 --> 01:22:31,030
Well, one year is pretty remarkable,
1547
01:22:31,238 --> 01:22:34,038
given that you two are completely
ill-suited for one another, isn't it?
1548
01:22:34,074 --> 01:22:35,951
I mean, no one thought
you were gonna make it a month,
1549
01:22:36,034 --> 01:22:37,081
much less a year.
1550
01:22:37,161 --> 01:22:38,208
Really?
1551
01:22:38,245 --> 01:22:40,919
I didn't actually think you'd make it
past the honeymoon, honestly.
1552
01:22:40,998 --> 01:22:42,295
I thought you'd fuck a Moroccan.
1553
01:22:42,374 --> 01:22:43,421
- Whoa.
- I really did.
1554
01:22:43,500 --> 01:22:44,501
And I wouldn't have blamed you
1555
01:22:44,585 --> 01:22:46,462
because they're very beguiling,
the Moroccans.
1556
01:22:46,545 --> 01:22:49,890
If you sort of like
the swarthy gentleman.
1557
01:22:50,215 --> 01:22:52,217
- Thanks. And no, I don't.
- That's not your thing?
1558
01:22:52,301 --> 01:22:54,144
- No.
- Ooh. A bit racist?
1559
01:22:54,219 --> 01:22:56,860
I bet you'd do it. You'd do it
with a foreign fellow, wouldn't you?
1560
01:22:56,972 --> 01:22:58,724
What about the Chinese fellows?
1561
01:22:58,849 --> 01:23:00,977
Because they've not got
a great reputation as lovers.
1562
01:23:01,059 --> 01:23:03,939
But they must be doing something right,
because there's billions of them.
1563
01:23:04,062 --> 01:23:05,860
You've got your Germans. Ach!
Very efficient.
1564
01:23:05,939 --> 01:23:09,068
Like
a machine, just... In and out.
1565
01:23:09,193 --> 01:23:10,911
"I vill annex your vagina!
1566
01:23:10,986 --> 01:23:12,988
"And then Poland!"
No, forgive and forget.
1567
01:23:13,071 --> 01:23:14,664
But d'you know what?
I don't know about you,
1568
01:23:14,740 --> 01:23:17,209
I've never met someone
who's had sex with an Eskimo.
1569
01:23:17,284 --> 01:23:18,911
Be good, wouldn't it?
Because they'd start with the noses
1570
01:23:18,994 --> 01:23:21,088
and then they'd, ooh, get down,
you know, with the...
1571
01:23:21,872 --> 01:23:25,376
Do you think they do that down there?
Not using the... Just... On the nose.
1572
01:23:26,668 --> 01:23:28,469
I bet you've had a few of them, yeah.
And him.
1573
01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:29,704
No, good luck to you.
1574
01:23:30,756 --> 01:23:33,805
- Thanks.
- But, I mean, you did it. One year!
1575
01:23:33,884 --> 01:23:35,010
- Yay!
- Yay!
1576
01:23:35,093 --> 01:23:36,766
Don't you clap.
1577
01:23:37,679 --> 01:23:39,681
Go on, give that twat
of a husband another call.
1578
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:40,857
Don't use your phone, use mine.
1579
01:23:40,933 --> 01:23:44,013
Because sometimes he avoids you if he
sees your name come up on the caller ID.
1580
01:24:22,933 --> 01:24:26,107
Oh, God. Happy anniversary!
1581
01:24:30,399 --> 01:24:32,401
Naomi arranged it.
1582
01:24:33,777 --> 01:24:35,575
Happy one year.
1583
01:24:36,405 --> 01:24:37,827
I need to tell you something, Nat.
1584
01:24:40,117 --> 01:24:42,336
I just think you're
the most incredible woman.
1585
01:24:42,619 --> 01:24:44,713
- Aw!
- How about that?
1586
01:24:44,788 --> 01:24:46,711
So beautiful.
1587
01:24:47,082 --> 01:24:50,052
And smart and bright and funny.
1588
01:24:50,794 --> 01:24:51,886
You're perfect.
1589
01:24:52,963 --> 01:24:55,307
- You're the perfect wife.
- Aw, sweet.
1590
01:24:58,635 --> 01:24:59,727
But just not for me.
1591
01:25:01,638 --> 01:25:04,016
I've waited my whole life
for the right girl to show up.
1592
01:25:04,433 --> 01:25:06,185
And it turns out that you weren't it.
1593
01:25:06,685 --> 01:25:09,859
I don't find the way that you crinkle
your nose when you laugh adorable,
1594
01:25:09,938 --> 01:25:11,235
the way you flick your hair,
1595
01:25:11,315 --> 01:25:12,817
- it's quite frankly irritating.
- Hear, hear.
1596
01:25:12,899 --> 01:25:14,901
I wanted to cherish
everything about you,
1597
01:25:14,985 --> 01:25:17,955
but it just didn't happen.
1598
01:25:20,198 --> 01:25:21,996
So I guess what I'm trying to say is...
1599
01:25:22,993 --> 01:25:24,540
Natasha Moss...
1600
01:25:25,996 --> 01:25:27,339
will you divorce me?
1601
01:25:29,666 --> 01:25:31,088
Yes.
1602
01:25:31,168 --> 01:25:33,762
Yes. Yes! I will!
1603
01:25:33,837 --> 01:25:35,589
- I absolutely will!
- That's so amazing!
1604
01:25:35,672 --> 01:25:37,424
- Do you really mean it?
- Absolutely!
1605
01:25:37,507 --> 01:25:40,602
I've been waiting for this moment
for months, hoping it would happen.
1606
01:25:40,677 --> 01:25:42,038
I can't believe that you asked me.
1607
01:25:42,054 --> 01:25:43,522
Why didn't you just say something, then?
1608
01:25:43,597 --> 01:25:46,521
I didn't want to hurt your feelings.
I thought it would break your heart.
1609
01:25:46,850 --> 01:25:50,229
You've made me the happiest woman
in the world.
1610
01:25:51,355 --> 01:25:52,402
I love you.
1611
01:25:52,731 --> 01:25:53,857
But you're not in love with me.
1612
01:25:53,940 --> 01:25:56,113
No! God, no.
1613
01:25:56,193 --> 01:25:58,070
Unequivocally not in love with you.
1614
01:25:58,445 --> 01:26:00,618
The opposite. The opposite of love.
Misery.
1615
01:26:00,697 --> 01:26:02,620
- Me, too!
1616
01:26:03,367 --> 01:26:05,540
I can't believe
we felt the same for so long.
1617
01:26:05,619 --> 01:26:09,419
Well, listen,
now we have the rest of our lives
1618
01:26:09,790 --> 01:26:11,087
not to be together.
1619
01:26:14,169 --> 01:26:15,512
Cheers?
1620
01:26:15,587 --> 01:26:17,840
Look, this is amazing, it's magical.
1621
01:26:17,923 --> 01:26:19,095
It's better than I could
ever have imagined,
1622
01:26:19,174 --> 01:26:20,972
but there's somewhere else
that I really need to be right now.
1623
01:26:21,051 --> 01:26:23,179
Oh, go! Seriously, go.
Do you need money for a cab?
1624
01:26:23,261 --> 01:26:24,308
No, I'm all right, I'm in the car,
1625
01:26:24,388 --> 01:26:26,311
but it was a nightmare trying to park,
so I'm basically in a...
1626
01:26:26,390 --> 01:26:29,519
Oh, God, stop it. Stop it.
It's so boring.
1627
01:26:29,601 --> 01:26:31,319
- It's just, the car's in your name...
- It's so boring.
1628
01:26:31,395 --> 01:26:33,489
- We should sort that out, actually.
- It's so boring. I don't care.
1629
01:26:33,563 --> 01:26:35,657
- All right, but...
- Honestly. Just go.
1630
01:26:49,079 --> 01:26:51,923
I will never have to see you again.
1631
01:26:52,999 --> 01:26:54,501
Even
1632
01:26:59,589 --> 01:27:01,091
Taxi!
1633
01:27:17,149 --> 01:27:18,526
Ta-da!
1634
01:27:19,109 --> 01:27:20,702
Oh, wow!
1635
01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:23,326
I've always wanted to go to Aachen.
1636
01:27:25,323 --> 01:27:27,872
No, uh, we're going to Paris.
1637
01:27:27,993 --> 01:27:29,245
Paris.
1638
01:27:30,245 --> 01:27:33,215
Ah! Okay. Joke!
1639
01:27:33,790 --> 01:27:35,337
- Yeah.
- Yeah!
1640
01:27:49,264 --> 01:27:51,266
- I'm thinking two kids.
- Oh!
1641
01:27:51,349 --> 01:27:54,228
- Guy Junior and Gaia.
- Wait! Wait, stop!
1642
01:27:55,312 --> 01:27:56,438
- Stand back.
- Oh, my God.
1643
01:27:57,814 --> 01:27:59,441
I can't be without you, Chloe.
1644
01:28:00,025 --> 01:28:01,665
I think about you
every second of the day.
1645
01:28:03,028 --> 01:28:04,154
I need to be with you.
1646
01:28:04,696 --> 01:28:05,948
And I know
you want to be with me as well.
1647
01:28:06,031 --> 01:28:07,203
What the hell are you doing?
1648
01:28:07,282 --> 01:28:09,751
You can't just turn up
and try and steal my girlfriend away.
1649
01:28:09,826 --> 01:28:11,999
You're married. You're a married man.
1650
01:28:12,037 --> 01:28:13,710
You should get out of here, creep.
1651
01:28:14,122 --> 01:28:15,123
I split up with Nat.
1652
01:28:15,207 --> 01:28:17,551
- You split up with Nat?
- You split up with Nat?
1653
01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:20,918
Ever since you came back into my life,
I've known that I had to be with you.
1654
01:28:22,547 --> 01:28:25,141
When I lie in bed,
I think about the way that you laugh.
1655
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:28,766
I can't work because I can't stop
imagining our lives together.
1656
01:28:29,679 --> 01:28:33,183
You're everything
that I've ever wanted in a...
1657
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:37,354
- Nat?!
- Josh? What...
1658
01:28:39,606 --> 01:28:41,483
What? What?
1659
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:42,988
Okay, sorry.
1660
01:28:45,070 --> 01:28:48,370
Nat, we spoke about this, didn't we?
1661
01:28:48,907 --> 01:28:50,625
- It's not gonna work out.
- No, I, uh...
1662
01:28:50,700 --> 01:28:52,043
- Actually, I'm...
- I'm not gonna change my mind.
1663
01:28:52,160 --> 01:28:54,538
- I don't care what you say.
- I'm, uh...
1664
01:28:55,580 --> 01:28:58,174
- I'm not here to see you.
- What are you doing?
1665
01:28:58,583 --> 01:29:00,051
I'm actually not here to see you.
1666
01:29:00,126 --> 01:29:02,206
What do you mean,
you're not actually here to see me?
1667
01:29:02,921 --> 01:29:04,423
Him!
1668
01:29:04,798 --> 01:29:06,095
- Really?
- And you...
1669
01:29:06,466 --> 01:29:08,434
- Her, yeah.
- Her, of course.
1670
01:29:08,510 --> 01:29:09,978
You're perfect for each other.
1671
01:29:10,053 --> 01:29:13,148
And I always thought he was much more
the kind of guy that you should go for.
1672
01:29:13,223 --> 01:29:14,850
Do you remember when I said to you
when I was trying to...
1673
01:29:14,933 --> 01:29:16,526
Oh, I do remember that!
I remember when you said that,
1674
01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:18,194
and at the time, I agreed.
1675
01:29:18,311 --> 01:29:19,358
And I thought in my mind,
1676
01:29:19,437 --> 01:29:20,609
"I think he's right,
I should be with him."
1677
01:29:20,689 --> 01:29:23,488
- That's what I wanted.
1678
01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:25,865
Ah! And here we are.
1679
01:29:26,236 --> 01:29:27,328
Here we are.
1680
01:29:28,029 --> 01:29:31,033
And where were you?
Had you been explaining
1681
01:29:31,116 --> 01:29:33,039
- the bit about us...
- Us breaking up, yeah.
1682
01:29:33,159 --> 01:29:35,440
I was just explaining to Chloe
why I was in love with her.
1683
01:29:37,497 --> 01:29:41,297
Okay, is it just me,
or is this unbelievably awkward?
1684
01:29:41,376 --> 01:29:42,548
Look at that.
1685
01:29:42,627 --> 01:29:44,470
She's got that dry sense of humour
that you like.
1686
01:29:44,546 --> 01:29:46,469
I mean, I just don't have that.
1687
01:29:46,548 --> 01:29:50,678
And this guy, forget about it.
Unbelievable.
1688
01:29:51,303 --> 01:29:53,476
Proper grade-A hunk.
1689
01:29:53,555 --> 01:29:55,023
I could just drink you in.
1690
01:29:55,599 --> 01:29:57,067
Thanks.
1691
01:29:58,643 --> 01:30:02,819
But this lady here,
she's incredible.
1692
01:30:03,732 --> 01:30:06,485
And you make her eyes light up
in a way that I never could.
1693
01:30:11,489 --> 01:30:13,491
Would you mind...
1694
01:30:13,575 --> 01:30:15,669
No, no, uh... please.
1695
01:30:16,411 --> 01:30:17,628
Would it be all right if I...
1696
01:30:17,704 --> 01:30:19,081
Of course.
1697
01:30:19,873 --> 01:30:21,295
Thank you.
1698
01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:28,431
- Thank you.
- Oh!
1699
01:30:28,506 --> 01:30:30,600
- That's nice.
- Sorry.
1700
01:30:32,344 --> 01:30:34,813
No, not you, we don't want to do that.
1701
01:30:34,888 --> 01:30:37,357
Never again. Come around this side.
1702
01:30:37,432 --> 01:30:39,105
Hi.
1703
01:30:45,982 --> 01:30:47,902
- This is a bit weird.
- This is weird, isn't it?
1704
01:30:47,943 --> 01:30:49,365
- Yeah.
- We'll go.
1705
01:30:49,444 --> 01:30:51,196
- Let's go over here.
- No, we'll go.
1706
01:31:38,535 --> 01:31:40,287
- Who had the chicken feet?
- I did.
1707
01:31:40,370 --> 01:31:41,872
You had the chicken feet.
1708
01:31:41,955 --> 01:31:44,253
- We didn't have a starter.
- No, no.
1709
01:31:44,332 --> 01:31:46,585
And we didn't have the champagne.
1710
01:31:46,668 --> 01:31:50,138
We spent £45,000
on a wedding to your prick son!
1711
01:31:50,213 --> 01:31:53,433
You can chip in
for a bit of fucking dim sum!
1712
01:32:23,121 --> 01:32:24,464
All right, pause, pause, pause.
1713
01:32:24,539 --> 01:32:25,660
I'll tell you what we'll do.
1714
01:32:25,665 --> 01:32:29,169
We'll make a list of
pros and cons, right, of Nat.
1715
01:32:29,252 --> 01:32:33,302
Pros. Number one, body.
1716
01:32:33,381 --> 01:32:36,305
Excellent. I've seen it nude, loved it.
1717
01:32:36,384 --> 01:32:38,185
I beg your pardon?
When have you seen it nude?
1718
01:32:38,386 --> 01:32:40,809
Well, when we were
down in that place in Cornwall,
1719
01:32:40,889 --> 01:32:42,687
I sort of walked in
when she was getting changed.
1720
01:32:42,766 --> 01:32:44,143
- What do you mean, you walked in...
- "Accidentally."
1721
01:32:44,225 --> 01:32:46,466
- What's that? What's that?
- Hey, listen, I'll tell you,
1722
01:32:46,519 --> 01:32:49,739
you lock your door
or these peepers will come a-roving.
1723
01:32:49,898 --> 01:32:52,742
All right, mate? That's the way I roll.
1724
01:32:52,817 --> 01:32:54,490
You know that, she should know that.
1725
01:32:54,569 --> 01:32:56,867
What about that she's, urn...
1726
01:32:58,114 --> 01:32:59,661
- Kind...
- Boring.
1727
01:32:59,741 --> 01:33:01,334
...and warm.
1728
01:33:01,409 --> 01:33:03,449
Warm?
Put the radiator on if you want warm.
1729
01:33:03,453 --> 01:33:05,455
And, um, good with kids.
1730
01:33:05,580 --> 01:33:08,020
So was Michael Jackson.
Look at that marriage. It didn't last.
1731
01:33:09,417 --> 01:33:10,418
Yeah, but I love her.
1732
01:33:10,502 --> 01:33:12,004
- Love.
- Well, I do.
1733
01:33:12,087 --> 01:33:13,304
Yeah, sounds a bit gay.
1734
01:33:13,755 --> 01:33:15,007
We can get back out there like the lads.
1735
01:33:15,090 --> 01:33:17,513
Like the old days, you know?
The Terrible Two.
1736
01:33:17,592 --> 01:33:18,593
Do you know what I mean?
1737
01:33:18,676 --> 01:33:20,519
"Lock up your daughters.
And your mothers."
1738
01:33:20,595 --> 01:33:21,847
I'm not fussy.
1739
01:33:22,180 --> 01:33:24,228
Every time I open my mouth
when I'm around her, she's like,
1740
01:33:24,307 --> 01:33:26,480
"No, don't say that.
You can't say that."
1741
01:33:26,559 --> 01:33:27,606
"You can't do that."
1742
01:33:27,936 --> 01:33:30,860
"Put your trousers on! Put your
trousers on! We're in a restaurant!"
1743
01:33:30,939 --> 01:33:33,192
- Oh, shut up.
- Well, she's...