1 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,000 I believe. 2 00:00:39,340 --> 00:00:43,660 Oh, please. 3 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,740 The aliens did this to me. The aliens did that to me. If you tell the same 4 00:00:47,740 --> 00:00:51,400 stupid story year after year, when the hell are you going to get over it? 5 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:54,820 Probably around the same time you stop dressing up like one of the Jolly Queen 6 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:55,820 giant pet toys. 7 00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:59,600 Hell, at least I had a close encounter. I'm starting to think you liked having 8 00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:02,380 that probe. I told you. They didn't probe me. 9 00:01:02,620 --> 00:01:03,880 I stopped them. 10 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:06,020 Well, that's what you'd like us to believe. 11 00:01:06,759 --> 00:01:08,100 No, no, no. 12 00:01:08,540 --> 00:01:12,600 The Makonians were very clear on that point. Did you not read my last book? 13 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,720 No, did you read mine? I would have if I could have found it. 14 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:18,220 Sagan was a Makonian. 15 00:01:18,660 --> 00:01:20,380 Sagan was a pod person. 16 00:01:20,700 --> 00:01:22,160 I've got the evidence right here. 17 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:23,880 The only thing that you've got in there is your lunch. 18 00:01:24,140 --> 00:01:26,300 Of course it's not the alien finger. 19 00:01:26,620 --> 00:01:28,440 I'm not exactly going to carry it around with me. 20 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:33,660 But you promised me, Gunther, when we, you know, that I was going to experience 21 00:01:33,660 --> 00:01:35,860 the finger. You will, you will. 22 00:01:36,590 --> 00:01:40,910 Now, I want the finger. I don't want a rotten carrot. It's not a carrot. 23 00:01:41,210 --> 00:01:44,010 Let me tell you. You're lying. You're lying. You're lying. 24 00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:45,290 You're lying. You're lying. 25 00:01:45,470 --> 00:01:46,470 You're lying. 26 00:01:49,290 --> 00:01:51,190 You're lying. 27 00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:55,310 You're lying. 28 00:02:05,310 --> 00:02:05,988 I know. 29 00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:07,650 Everybody, can I have your attention, please? 30 00:02:08,009 --> 00:02:09,009 Everybody, 31 00:02:09,570 --> 00:02:10,570 listen up. 32 00:02:10,789 --> 00:02:12,610 Damn it, I said listen! 33 00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:18,610 Well, I hope everyone enjoyed their fondue. 34 00:02:19,950 --> 00:02:22,010 Like I always say, it's food you can trust. 35 00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:28,130 Well, before we get on with tonight's business, I have a personal statement 36 00:02:28,130 --> 00:02:29,109 like to make. 37 00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:31,650 I couldn't help noticing that certain of you... 38 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,340 I've chosen to disregard my request that tonight's planning committee soiree 39 00:02:35,340 --> 00:02:36,440 remain apolitical. 40 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:40,540 I know I must sound like a broken record, but really, this constant 41 00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:42,340 it's insufferable. 42 00:02:42,860 --> 00:02:47,620 There is no way the rest of the world will ever take us seriously and respect 43 00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,960 if we do not respect ourselves. 44 00:02:51,500 --> 00:02:54,880 Now, when the convention starts tomorrow and the press arrives, I want us to be 45 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:55,880 civil to each other. 46 00:02:56,970 --> 00:03:00,830 The moment one of us breaks rank and starts bashing the others, the press 47 00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:04,490 jump right in and they'll make us all look like a bunch of silly, disorganized 48 00:03:04,490 --> 00:03:11,190 lunatics. Which is why Ike asked me, uh, hi everybody, to come up with a theme 49 00:03:11,190 --> 00:03:14,230 that sort of captures the zeitgeist of our message. 50 00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:18,010 Don't you roll your eyes at me, Gunther Van Owen, you're one of the first people 51 00:03:18,010 --> 00:03:19,230 the TV crews will head for. 52 00:03:19,470 --> 00:03:20,309 Damn right. 53 00:03:20,310 --> 00:03:21,930 Me and the rest of the fifth column? 54 00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:23,170 Bunch of thugs! 55 00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,680 We got something to show. 56 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:28,740 Something big. 57 00:03:29,420 --> 00:03:34,700 Oh, you mean that piece of rotten carrot you've been carrying around? It is not 58 00:03:34,700 --> 00:03:35,700 a carrot. 59 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:40,520 Whatever it is, it's disgusting. And it has nothing to do with reality. 60 00:03:40,940 --> 00:03:45,160 Our extraterrestrial friends are beautiful, diaphanous creatures. 61 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,160 Not toads like you. 62 00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:52,700 Diaphanous? The creature that impregnated me was definitely reptilian. 63 00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,720 that about all the creatures that impregnate you. 64 00:03:55,070 --> 00:03:57,770 Yeah? Would you come over here and say that? Come on. Come on. 65 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,070 Stop! 66 00:04:03,050 --> 00:04:04,270 Back off, everybody. 67 00:04:06,150 --> 00:04:07,930 You people are incorrigible. 68 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:11,430 One of the reasons I joined this group in the first place was because of the 69 00:04:11,430 --> 00:04:12,510 fellowship it provided. 70 00:04:13,290 --> 00:04:16,950 We know that we are not alone here on Starship Earth. 71 00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:23,000 And whether you look at aliens as a malignant fungus or E .T. in a tutu, We 72 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:29,200 to stand together and say, in one united voice, two very simple words. 73 00:04:31,060 --> 00:04:32,460 I believe. 74 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:40,620 We hunger for a sign that our faith is the right faith. 75 00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:47,140 And for me, these two words are a statement that we have seen things and 76 00:04:47,140 --> 00:04:50,240 the truth has been revealed to us. I believe. 77 00:04:51,080 --> 00:04:54,820 I believe that slogan sucks. That's what I believe. Yeah, me too. 78 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,560 It would have been way better in silver. 79 00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,980 What is wrong with all of you? 80 00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:03,960 Don't you want to be taken seriously for once in your lives? 81 00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:07,680 If you want to be taken seriously, you're going to need more than a t 82 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:13,020 You're going to need what I had in this box. 83 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,360 I'm sorry, sir, but this is a convention planning. 84 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:19,780 Committee meeting. If you have something to sell, there'll be a consignment 85 00:05:19,780 --> 00:05:22,260 table set up on Sunday. Do I look like I'm selling something? 86 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:27,080 I've been driving in circles in the damn desert for three days trying to figure 87 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:28,080 out what to do with this. 88 00:05:28,620 --> 00:05:29,620 What is it? 89 00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:33,420 The stuff your dreams are made of. 90 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:04,980 There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the 91 00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:08,300 picture. We are now controlling the transmission. 92 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:15,180 We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can deluge you with a 93 00:06:15,180 --> 00:06:21,820 channels or expand one single image to crystal clarity and beyond. 94 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:27,740 We can shape your vision to anything our imagination can conceive. 95 00:06:30,410 --> 00:06:35,970 For the next hour, we will control all that you see and hear. 96 00:06:41,530 --> 00:06:48,390 You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from the 97 00:06:48,390 --> 00:06:52,610 deepest inner mind to the outer limit. 98 00:06:55,710 --> 00:07:01,700 In an age of doubt, There is nothing more powerful than the need to seek 99 00:07:01,700 --> 00:07:02,700 answers. 100 00:07:03,100 --> 00:07:09,720 But what happens when the cloak is lifted and those answers suddenly 101 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:14,000 revealed? I hope I haven't just made a mistake showing this to you. Is it real? 102 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:17,560 Exactly what kind of star cruiser did it come from? Show it to us again. 103 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:22,780 As head of convention security, I think we 86 this guy right now. Dale, please. 104 00:07:22,860 --> 00:07:26,400 We're not going to 86 anyone. Look, we don't know anything about this guy or 105 00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:27,600 that, that, that, that thing. 106 00:07:27,900 --> 00:07:29,280 They could both be radioactive. 107 00:07:29,820 --> 00:07:33,580 For all we know, that thing could make us glow like Bonserian softworms. 108 00:07:36,420 --> 00:07:38,980 I assure you, the fragment is harmless. 109 00:07:39,380 --> 00:07:43,060 Ah, tell that to the cancerous lump growing on my spine, Rummy. 110 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,560 I'm going to ask you in the box to leave nicely. 111 00:07:47,120 --> 00:07:50,760 I ask again, we're going to tussle. Please, just listen to me. 112 00:07:51,460 --> 00:07:55,480 For 22 years, I was a civilian accountant at Nellis Air Force Base. 113 00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:56,740 That's Area 51. 114 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 Duh. 115 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:01,280 Check the non -com work records if you don't believe me. You'll find my name 116 00:08:01,280 --> 00:08:02,280 there. 117 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:03,760 Max Buford? 118 00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:05,260 Buford. 119 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:09,720 Two weeks ago, I was assigned to audit the construction of an underground 120 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:10,720 storage facility. 121 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:15,420 I found a discrepancy. When I went to inquire about it, I thought it... 122 00:08:15,690 --> 00:08:18,650 Strange craft being disassembled by military personnel. 123 00:08:19,230 --> 00:08:22,610 Pieces of the ship were being placed in the boxes in preparation for being 124 00:08:22,610 --> 00:08:23,610 hauled away on trains. 125 00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,150 I was told to forget everything I'd seen. 126 00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:30,530 And although I tried to ignore it and simply do my job, I found I could not. 127 00:08:31,410 --> 00:08:35,630 Betraying the trust that was placed in me, I stole one of the smaller boxes, 128 00:08:35,630 --> 00:08:37,390 it in the trunk of my car, and drove away. 129 00:08:38,130 --> 00:08:40,309 That box is before you now. 130 00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:45,900 That is an amazing story, Mr. Buford. It's the truth. 131 00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:50,040 Our government is conspiring with the creatures that built the craft that this 132 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,040 came from. 133 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,000 But the world needs to know. 134 00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,780 Does the government know this thing is missing? 135 00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:58,120 Probably. In which case... They'll kill you. 136 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,300 Dead. Hell, I knew a guy who knew a guy. 137 00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,680 That guy crossed the fence just like you did. 138 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:07,220 Ten years later, he's eaten at the Jolly Troll smorgasbord. 139 00:09:07,460 --> 00:09:08,520 In Billings? That's the one. 140 00:09:08,900 --> 00:09:13,220 Bang. goes face down into his tater totter. Turns out a mother -humping 141 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,420 attack just rocked his world. 142 00:09:15,140 --> 00:09:16,140 Coincidence? 143 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:17,300 I think not. 144 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,280 Dale, why would you tell a story like that? 145 00:09:20,920 --> 00:09:25,120 Mr. Buford, I think it's truly courageous of you to come here. And I 146 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:28,440 speak for all of us when I say thank you from the bottom of our hearts. 147 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:31,680 Well, I ain't thanking him. His story's a load of crap. 148 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:37,700 That fragment didn't come from Area 51. There are no train tracks going into 149 00:09:37,700 --> 00:09:41,760 that base. Apparently the hair goo has infected your brain. He's referring to 150 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,900 the cold fusion underground rail system they got. Shut up. There is no 151 00:09:44,900 --> 00:09:49,380 underground rail system. You shut up. The damn photos are on the internet. 152 00:09:49,380 --> 00:09:51,380 all seen them. What if aliens sent them? 153 00:09:51,660 --> 00:09:56,020 The Makonia have always been willing to share their technology with us. The 154 00:09:56,020 --> 00:10:00,180 Makonia got nothing to do with this. This kind of technology, it's... 155 00:10:03,449 --> 00:10:04,449 Sportage. 156 00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:08,230 All the way. What if the fragment isn't still? 157 00:10:08,670 --> 00:10:12,530 What if the government sent him here as part of some disinformation campaign? 158 00:10:12,730 --> 00:10:13,669 Anyone think of that? 159 00:10:13,670 --> 00:10:16,610 Well, if the fragment is real, where's the disinformation? 160 00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:20,050 Maybe they just want us to think it's real. 161 00:10:20,490 --> 00:10:24,350 Or the aliens wanted us to see the fragment because they need to tell us 162 00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:25,350 something. Yeah! 163 00:10:25,390 --> 00:10:28,470 Like maybe it's a distress signal from deep within their base station on the 164 00:10:28,470 --> 00:10:31,710 ocean floor. You're all missing the point. 165 00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:37,230 Think of all the grainy photographs and half -baked stories we've hitched our 166 00:10:37,230 --> 00:10:41,550 wagons to over the years trying to grab onto something that proved that our 167 00:10:41,550 --> 00:10:43,270 belief in aliens was justified. 168 00:10:43,750 --> 00:10:44,950 We have it now. 169 00:10:45,290 --> 00:10:49,810 This fragment, it's our holy grail. Is that what you believe? 170 00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:52,810 You with your hoity -toity college education? 171 00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:54,650 It's what I believe, too. 172 00:10:55,630 --> 00:11:01,550 ike pilchard transit system coordinator and me tyler buttram my advanced degrees 173 00:11:01,550 --> 00:11:05,670 in portuguese literature animal husbandry ditto except for the degrees 174 00:11:05,670 --> 00:11:10,710 although i am certified to work as an x -ray tech mr buford we've already set up 175 00:11:10,710 --> 00:11:15,250 a press conference for tomorrow and with your permission i'd like to reveal the 176 00:11:15,250 --> 00:11:20,410 fragment to the world are you high on the crack the feds will be on him like 177 00:11:20,410 --> 00:11:25,640 maggots on roadkill look You're a relative newcomer to these conventions, 178 00:11:25,780 --> 00:11:28,440 Trust me, there's a lot of things that you just don't know about. 179 00:11:28,880 --> 00:11:33,120 Well, there's one thing that I do know. With Mr. Buford and the fragment out in 180 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:35,300 the open, the government would be stupid to do anything. 181 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,500 Even you can see that, Dale. 182 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,600 Boo is absolutely right, Mr. 183 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,360 Buford, really. It's the only way to save yourself. 184 00:11:45,220 --> 00:11:49,740 I just want you to know I appreciate what you're doing. Well, Mr. Buford, I 185 00:11:49,740 --> 00:11:51,220 assure you the feeling is mutual. 186 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:56,340 I know that some of us may seem a little, um, extreme, but for the most 187 00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:57,360 we're good people. 188 00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:58,500 Can I tell you something? 189 00:11:59,060 --> 00:12:02,300 Tonight, you have renewed my faith that aliens exist here on Earth, and for 190 00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,940 that, I'm really grateful. 191 00:12:04,740 --> 00:12:05,740 This is your room. 192 00:12:05,860 --> 00:12:08,680 Now, if there's anything you need, just page me and I'll be here in a flash. 193 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,780 Okay. Rest assured you're safe with us. 194 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,380 I got one man eyeballing your car from the roof. 195 00:12:13,780 --> 00:12:15,880 Another one will be outside this door all night. Really? 196 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,060 You think that's necessary? 197 00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:20,800 A little information can get a guy killed. 198 00:12:21,550 --> 00:12:22,550 Enough said. 199 00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:25,330 I like to think that a little information can be uplifting. 200 00:12:26,070 --> 00:12:29,630 Now, remember what I said. If you need anything... Here. 201 00:12:32,950 --> 00:12:36,330 Are you trying to be ignorant when you say things like that? 202 00:12:36,590 --> 00:12:39,050 Why? What did I say? Well, you said that there'd be a guy up on the roof and 203 00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,050 someone outside his door. 204 00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:43,470 Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're the only security we have, right? Well, he 205 00:12:43,470 --> 00:12:44,590 doesn't have to know that. 206 00:12:45,120 --> 00:12:47,980 Do you think he's going to feel safer knowing the entire FBI is out to Ruby 207 00:12:47,980 --> 00:12:51,340 Ridge him and I'm the only thing standing in the way? The FBI doesn't 208 00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:54,100 he is. Wake up and smell the cheese, honey. 209 00:12:54,500 --> 00:12:55,980 The walls have eyes. 210 00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:00,480 Any one of those people in that room tonight could be the FBI in deep cover 211 00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,480 assignment. 212 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,240 Oh, sure, you're saying Dale's all buggy and paranoid. 213 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:13,260 I've made inquiries into certain people, and it wouldn't surprise me one little 214 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,150 bit. that it comes back that they're not who they say they are. 215 00:13:16,410 --> 00:13:18,430 And who exactly are you referring to? 216 00:13:18,850 --> 00:13:20,950 Well, when I get the facts, you'll be the first to know. 217 00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:22,730 But only because I like you. 218 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:02,720 Some ignorant types may think my kind of a job is a nowhere's road to dead ends, 219 00:14:02,740 --> 00:14:06,660 Bill. But to me, parking lot security is the first line of defense. 220 00:14:08,080 --> 00:14:10,400 Say, do either of you ladies like me? 221 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,420 Dale, I've got to talk to you. Excuse me, can't you see I'm talking to some 222 00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:14,420 ladies? 223 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,540 These aren't ladies, Dale, they're men. 224 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:22,120 I was attacked in my room. 225 00:14:23,460 --> 00:14:24,460 Dale. 226 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:28,260 Felt they're gone. 227 00:14:28,500 --> 00:14:29,500 Don't be too sure. 228 00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:31,740 Describe them. 229 00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:37,020 Um, flat nose, hopeless eyes. 230 00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:38,520 Fortis. 231 00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:40,660 Stinking Fortis. 232 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:42,640 Consider yourself lucky. 233 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,740 Fortis have been known to mutilate a body faster than you can say Steady 234 00:14:46,740 --> 00:14:47,740 5. 235 00:14:48,940 --> 00:14:53,120 But if our government taught them one thing, it's how to get in and out 236 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,740 In other words, sometimes in their hurry, they leave a little something 237 00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:04,060 Maybe nothing more than a flake of skin or a bead of gooey green sweat. 238 00:15:04,840 --> 00:15:06,360 Dale, there's nothing under there. 239 00:15:09,880 --> 00:15:11,400 But what about this? 240 00:15:12,940 --> 00:15:14,280 Oh, what is it? 241 00:15:14,680 --> 00:15:18,620 Well, I'm thinking maybe you wounded one during the struggle. Could be a hunk of 242 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:21,240 skin tissue, some kind of blood, maybe even... 243 00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:25,359 Hair gel. 244 00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,620 Admit it, Gunther! It was you and your digit -worshipping friends that attacked 245 00:15:28,620 --> 00:15:31,620 me in my room! Digit -worshipping? Ooh, that hurt. 246 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,040 These are serious charges, Gunther. 247 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:39,080 If you and the fifth column were involved... Why the hell would I even 248 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:43,160 time? To make Boo look foolish, maybe? She doesn't need any of my help. Far as 249 00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:46,440 can tell, she's foolish enough already. Not to mention gullible and simple 250 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:50,100 -minded. You might as well fess up, Gunther. We know you were there. You 251 00:15:50,100 --> 00:15:51,380 your calling card behind. 252 00:15:53,590 --> 00:15:55,030 Fine! Fine! 253 00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:56,750 It was us. 254 00:15:57,590 --> 00:15:59,410 We were just trying to make a point. 255 00:16:00,030 --> 00:16:03,550 I mean, if she is stupid enough to believe that a bunch of cheesy -looking 256 00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:07,350 aliens could attack her, who knows what else she could buy into, huh? Like, say, 257 00:16:07,370 --> 00:16:11,990 a floating metal fragment? Good example. The girl's a flake, just like the rest 258 00:16:11,990 --> 00:16:12,990 of you. 259 00:16:13,730 --> 00:16:16,630 Hell, this was supposed to be my year, damn it! 260 00:16:16,970 --> 00:16:18,310 The fifth column's year. 261 00:16:20,530 --> 00:16:22,310 Why couldn't you believe? 262 00:16:23,020 --> 00:16:24,020 In this. 263 00:16:25,340 --> 00:16:26,340 Bingo. 264 00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:28,020 Smoking gun and all. 265 00:16:28,500 --> 00:16:32,220 Look what we found in the dumpster behind Mr. Monty. Got that hair squidge 266 00:16:32,220 --> 00:16:34,900 over it. Pulp's rounding up the last bit over at the restaurant. 267 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:40,540 I have never been so disgusted in all my... Gunther, pack your bag. 268 00:16:40,780 --> 00:16:45,920 As president of the North American UFO Convention, I hereby suspend you and the 269 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:49,420 rest of the fifth column for any further participation in NAWFOC events. 270 00:16:50,420 --> 00:16:51,420 Stay calm! 271 00:16:55,020 --> 00:16:56,260 Screw you and your convention. 272 00:16:57,140 --> 00:17:00,040 You can't deny us our right to be heard. Go ahead and try. 273 00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:04,700 The finger will not be silenced. 274 00:17:16,380 --> 00:17:19,119 Gunther, I'd always thought he'd go too far someday. 275 00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:20,599 You sure you're okay, boo? 276 00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,040 I'm good. 277 00:17:22,359 --> 00:17:25,760 As a matter of fact, I am better than good because with Gunther out of the 278 00:17:25,839 --> 00:17:29,860 this press conference tomorrow is really going to soar on the wings of an eagle. 279 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,200 When you say hang in there, do you mean hang in the earth? We will say to the 280 00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:34,940 world, there are things in the universe that we don't understand. 281 00:17:35,300 --> 00:17:39,440 Things that the government is afraid to share with us. Boo. But we have 282 00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:43,480 discovered something that will change all of that. Something that we are 283 00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,560 to share with you. 284 00:17:44,900 --> 00:17:48,220 You can call it what you want, but we call it the truth. 285 00:17:48,420 --> 00:17:49,420 Boo! 286 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:51,640 We've got a problem. 287 00:17:54,440 --> 00:18:01,240 is it duct tape some wire conductive tubing tell it again from the 288 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:05,720 beginning like i said i walked in and the bus boy was poking around at the air 289 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:11,060 vent with a broom and ping it opened and all the stuff fell out of course what 290 00:18:11,060 --> 00:18:14,100 do you mean of course of course what what are you people talking about 291 00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:19,240 and wires and jerry rig remote control probably holograms too and animatronic 292 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:23,220 sock puppets That floating fragment was nothing but a piece of theater. 293 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:24,700 And we fell for it. 294 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:30,140 Hook, line, and sinker. People, for all you know, this could be Gunther's 295 00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:32,480 handiwork. Or maybe it's been up there for years. 296 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,620 I bet my bippy if you stick a few magnets on a thing like this and tape it 297 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:40,220 the ceiling, you're gonna find... Where are the magnets? Mr. Bruford pulled a 298 00:18:40,220 --> 00:18:41,220 fast one on us. 299 00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,680 It's alien autopsy all over again. 300 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:48,220 We are so stupid. But why? Why would he do this? 301 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,180 Maybe we're just jumping to conclusions. 302 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,379 She's right. 303 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:56,460 For all we know, the government put Buford up to this. Right, the 304 00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:57,500 make us look bad. 305 00:18:57,740 --> 00:18:58,740 Come on, everybody. 306 00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:02,960 Sometimes a piece of tubing is just a piece of tubing. 307 00:19:03,460 --> 00:19:08,400 I looked into Mr. Buford's eyes, and he was telling us the truth. 308 00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:13,480 Mr. Buford, it's only us. We just want to talk. 309 00:19:14,060 --> 00:19:15,580 Wait, this is so unnecessary. 310 00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,600 Yeah, well, then why isn't he answering the door, huh? 311 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:23,000 Gosh. Mr. Buford, we're sorry to barge in like this. 312 00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:27,700 I think Max is gone. 313 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,100 Telling us the truth. 314 00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:37,860 Yeah. 315 00:19:38,460 --> 00:19:39,520 Just like we thought. 316 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,280 Mr. Buford's gone and so is his box. 317 00:19:43,620 --> 00:19:48,120 Not to mention everything in the minibar. Damned hotel bear not tried 318 00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:52,020 us for it. Hey, the towels are missing and so is the rubber bath mat. 319 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:57,180 What a weirdo. Nobody up front saw him go, but we scoured the parking lot for 320 00:19:57,180 --> 00:19:59,080 his car and it definitely isn't there. 321 00:20:00,220 --> 00:20:04,080 How could he just leave us like that without saying anything? Maybe there's a 322 00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,580 perfectly logical explanation. 323 00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:10,220 Yeah. Like maybe he knew the feds were closing in. I keep telling you, the 324 00:20:10,220 --> 00:20:11,720 government didn't know he was here. 325 00:20:11,980 --> 00:20:13,740 What if the government did know he was here? 326 00:20:13,980 --> 00:20:15,880 Because somebody told them about it. 327 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,640 You mean like Gunther? Yeah, Gunther! 328 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,580 He had a motive. Could be Gunther. 329 00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:27,880 Could be somebody else. 330 00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:29,320 Yeah. 331 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:34,800 Like... Like... Like nobody. 332 00:20:35,740 --> 00:20:39,220 The man bolted because this whole thing is a lie. 333 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,920 Maybe we're wrong about Mr. Buford. 334 00:20:44,380 --> 00:20:45,820 Maybe we're wrong about a lot of things. 335 00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:48,280 Who? 336 00:20:48,620 --> 00:20:49,620 Who? Where are you going? 337 00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:55,520 Thought I'd find you here. 338 00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:56,780 Have a drink. 339 00:20:56,860 --> 00:20:57,860 Looks like you need one. 340 00:20:59,460 --> 00:21:00,460 Sex on the beach. 341 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,440 How did you know that was my drink? 342 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:05,280 Oh, you'd be amazed what you can find out about people if you do a little 343 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,280 surfing. 344 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,280 Do you mind if I, uh... You okay? 345 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,900 Oh, yeah, I'm great. 346 00:21:16,140 --> 00:21:19,980 Considering this feels like the worst day of my life, I should have listened 347 00:21:19,980 --> 00:21:21,740 you when you said how complicated things are. 348 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:24,680 You wanted that fragment to be real in the worst way, huh? 349 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,240 I'd rather not talk about it. 350 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,740 Funny thing is, you know how you feel. 351 00:21:33,430 --> 00:21:34,970 Can you keep a secret? 352 00:21:36,790 --> 00:21:37,790 Sure. 353 00:21:39,690 --> 00:21:45,670 You know that story I tell about when the aliens, you know... My God. 354 00:21:46,150 --> 00:21:48,150 Dale, are you saying that that actually happened? 355 00:21:48,870 --> 00:21:49,870 No, 356 00:21:51,270 --> 00:21:53,870 no, no. I mean, it never happened. 357 00:21:55,250 --> 00:21:56,310 I made it up. 358 00:21:57,890 --> 00:22:00,610 You've got to believe me. I wanted it to happen. 359 00:22:01,710 --> 00:22:03,930 I mean, I wanted to see aliens. 360 00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:06,170 I still do. 361 00:22:07,930 --> 00:22:09,850 Just because you want something to be true. 362 00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:12,370 I understand. 363 00:22:14,590 --> 00:22:18,810 Really, I do. I know there are aliens out there and all. 364 00:22:21,850 --> 00:22:23,630 God, I know how desperate that must sound. 365 00:22:26,030 --> 00:22:27,810 I just want it to be accepted, you know? 366 00:22:29,710 --> 00:22:35,710 I mean all the people here at the convention, they're like my family. 367 00:22:36,610 --> 00:22:38,590 They accepted me when nobody else would. 368 00:22:40,630 --> 00:22:41,990 It's all based on a lie. 369 00:23:10,780 --> 00:23:11,780 Wow. 370 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,540 You were great, boo. 371 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,880 Now, I've been with a lot of women. Not that I'm bragging. 372 00:23:19,540 --> 00:23:21,020 But, wow. 373 00:23:22,580 --> 00:23:28,680 You were... And that was... Wow. 374 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:37,360 You didn't think it was wow, did you? No, it was fine, Dale. It was just what 375 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:38,360 needed. It was? 376 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:39,840 It was real. 377 00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:41,249 It happened. 378 00:23:41,250 --> 00:23:42,650 There's no denying it. 379 00:23:43,970 --> 00:23:46,050 That's one way of looking at it, I guess. 380 00:23:46,430 --> 00:23:48,690 You and I just had sex. 381 00:23:49,470 --> 00:23:50,470 It's a fact. 382 00:23:51,410 --> 00:23:54,930 It was way better for you than it was for me. That's another fact. 383 00:23:55,250 --> 00:23:56,169 Now, wait a minute. 384 00:23:56,170 --> 00:24:00,130 Just because I wouldn't stick my tongue... Dale, I'm not passing 385 00:24:01,170 --> 00:24:05,690 It's just that I have never been more confused or tired in my whole life. 386 00:24:08,830 --> 00:24:09,830 Hello? 387 00:24:10,730 --> 00:24:11,730 Mr. Buford? 388 00:24:12,470 --> 00:24:14,390 Try and understand what I'm saying. 389 00:24:14,750 --> 00:24:17,410 It's all about John, okay? 390 00:24:17,750 --> 00:24:20,250 John! His life is going down the drain! 391 00:24:20,650 --> 00:24:22,590 Who? What the hell are you talking about? 392 00:24:22,950 --> 00:24:25,710 Listen, it's nothing personal, Mr. Buford, but you sound like you've been 393 00:24:25,710 --> 00:24:28,750 drinking. Please, listen to me very carefully. 394 00:24:29,070 --> 00:24:34,750 I'm not trying to turn you on or turn you off. I'm, uh, I'm venting, okay? 395 00:24:35,010 --> 00:24:38,200 I'm venting! Actually, Mr. Buford, I'm right in the middle of something. 396 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:38,700 The 397 00:24:38,700 --> 00:24:48,180 nerve 398 00:24:48,180 --> 00:24:55,160 of that man. After all that he's done to me to call here at this hour. 399 00:24:55,540 --> 00:24:56,880 Where did Buford say he was? 400 00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:01,200 Doesn't even matter. He's drunk and he's probably feeling sorry for himself. 401 00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:05,480 Maybe. But if I've learned anything from my experience in the security field, 402 00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:07,530 It's that nothing is ever as it seems. 403 00:25:07,990 --> 00:25:09,970 The man called you for a reason, Boo. 404 00:25:10,590 --> 00:25:11,810 We need to find out why. 405 00:25:16,370 --> 00:25:16,810 I 406 00:25:16,810 --> 00:25:26,810 could 407 00:25:26,810 --> 00:25:32,550 have told you this was a waste of time. 408 00:25:33,710 --> 00:25:34,710 Mr. Buford! 409 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:39,260 Oh my God, there he is. 410 00:25:50,900 --> 00:25:51,900 Is he? 411 00:25:53,360 --> 00:25:54,360 He's dead, all right. 412 00:26:04,590 --> 00:26:06,250 Something is not right here. 413 00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:08,590 Dale, please. You saw all the bottles. 414 00:26:08,850 --> 00:26:12,690 He was inebriated. Obviously, he hit his head and then he fell down and he bled 415 00:26:12,690 --> 00:26:15,230 to death. Sure, sure. He seemed drunk. But was he? 416 00:26:15,610 --> 00:26:19,410 150 cc's of government -grade sodium pentothal would have exactly the same 417 00:26:19,410 --> 00:26:20,349 effect on him. 418 00:26:20,350 --> 00:26:22,170 Government did not do this. 419 00:26:22,390 --> 00:26:23,790 I'm not saying it was the government. 420 00:26:24,570 --> 00:26:28,270 Could be the fifth column for all we know. Or the Masons. Or the Illuminati, 421 00:26:28,270 --> 00:26:29,270 maybe. 422 00:26:30,130 --> 00:26:32,070 There's a damn fragment. That's what I want to know. 423 00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:36,240 Well, obviously the government got it back. Ooh, or maybe it was the aliens. 424 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,660 Except that's not what this picture says. 425 00:26:39,500 --> 00:26:40,500 Tell you what I think. 426 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:44,960 Government guys follow them, think they found their pride, discover they're 427 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,860 wrong, get a little carried away demonstrating their disappointment. 428 00:26:48,220 --> 00:26:50,240 Or, have you thought of this? 429 00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,120 Maybe it's just what it seems to be. 430 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:57,380 Mr. Buford was a lonely drunk who thought he could have a few laughs 431 00:26:57,380 --> 00:27:01,000 fast one on a bunch of social outcasts. That's exactly what they want you to 432 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:02,000 think. 433 00:27:02,239 --> 00:27:05,800 Look, when it comes to UFOs, the government's agenda never changes. 434 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:10,540 Discredit, disavow, disinform. 435 00:27:11,580 --> 00:27:16,100 Now, what you see is real, but it's a little more complicated. 436 00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:21,820 A spaceship looks like a spaceship. Hell, it may even be a damn spaceship, 437 00:27:21,820 --> 00:27:23,700 it's not really a spaceship. 438 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:29,100 You ever wonder how much work it would take the people who come up with these 439 00:27:29,100 --> 00:27:30,700 plans to actually come up with them? 440 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,240 That's why the government has whole agencies dedicated to this kind of 441 00:27:37,380 --> 00:27:40,200 FEMA, ATM, CIA, the Trifab Commission. 442 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:41,259 The what? 443 00:27:41,260 --> 00:27:42,820 You ever heard about the Trifab Commission? 444 00:27:44,420 --> 00:27:45,940 Probably better that way. 445 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,600 Oh, yeah, much better that way. 446 00:27:47,820 --> 00:27:50,000 You know, you're starting to sound like me, doubting everything. 447 00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,740 Maybe I'm just winding up. 448 00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:59,080 It's all about John, okay? 449 00:27:59,360 --> 00:28:01,400 John! It's all about John. 450 00:28:03,180 --> 00:28:04,940 His life is going down the drain. 451 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:10,040 His life is going down the drain. 452 00:28:10,320 --> 00:28:12,440 I'm venting, okay? I'm venting! 453 00:29:03,389 --> 00:29:05,150 Smart son of a bitch. 454 00:29:09,630 --> 00:29:12,250 He kept it wrapped up nice and tight to keep in the light. 455 00:29:13,770 --> 00:29:15,310 So I guess it is real. 456 00:29:20,990 --> 00:29:21,990 Maybe. 457 00:29:23,410 --> 00:29:26,750 I still want to believe in it, but I want to believe because I know 458 00:29:26,750 --> 00:29:28,170 intrinsically what it is. 459 00:29:28,910 --> 00:29:30,690 Obviously, it's no ordinary hunk of metal. 460 00:29:30,930 --> 00:29:31,930 Well, yeah. 461 00:29:32,730 --> 00:29:34,450 I mean, it floats. 462 00:29:34,770 --> 00:29:36,310 But do we know why it floats? 463 00:29:36,810 --> 00:29:41,950 No. Does the fact that it floats mean that it comes from outer space and 464 00:29:41,950 --> 00:29:43,110 the only possible explanation? 465 00:29:43,790 --> 00:29:46,150 I'm not qualified to say, and neither are you. 466 00:29:46,410 --> 00:29:50,910 The fact that it does what it does, it's got to be from an alien technology. 467 00:29:51,350 --> 00:29:55,190 Or maybe it's just a really clever magic trick and we haven't figured out how 468 00:29:55,190 --> 00:29:56,169 they're doing it. 469 00:29:56,170 --> 00:30:01,350 If you want to drive yourself crazy thinking up all these what -ifs, go 470 00:30:01,350 --> 00:30:02,350 ahead. 471 00:30:03,060 --> 00:30:07,340 Personally, I think it's time to look what truth I do know squarely in the 472 00:30:08,500 --> 00:30:10,320 You want to know why I believe in aliens? 473 00:30:12,500 --> 00:30:14,820 I believe in aliens because I needed to. 474 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:23,780 When I was in college, I met this guy, Winton, and we had a little daughter 475 00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:24,780 named Krishna. 476 00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:28,760 One day, we were all heading to this ashram in Oregon. 477 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,960 It was Winton's idea. He was always... Very spiritual that way. 478 00:30:33,340 --> 00:30:36,820 And we stopped at this little cafe out in the middle of nowhere so I could use 479 00:30:36,820 --> 00:30:37,820 the bathroom. 480 00:30:38,220 --> 00:30:41,340 And when I came out, they were gone. 481 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:44,680 They just drove off without you? 482 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:48,560 They never showed up at the ashram and they never went back to our little 483 00:30:48,560 --> 00:30:51,620 apartment. And when I called Wynton's family to find out what had happened, 484 00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:55,800 said no. I mean, as far as they knew, Wynton and Krishna had just vanished. 485 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,320 Maybe they weren't telling the truth. 486 00:30:58,700 --> 00:31:00,660 Well, I'm sure they weren't. 487 00:31:01,550 --> 00:31:05,810 I guess I got really carried away because the next thing I know, I'm 488 00:31:05,810 --> 00:31:09,830 in this hospital, and I'm looking out the window day after day thinking to 489 00:31:09,830 --> 00:31:11,670 myself, where'd they go? 490 00:31:12,610 --> 00:31:13,610 Where'd they go? 491 00:31:14,270 --> 00:31:20,010 And then one day, another patient wanders by and says, maybe the aliens 492 00:31:20,010 --> 00:31:21,010 them. 493 00:31:21,230 --> 00:31:22,410 And I thought to myself, 494 00:31:23,190 --> 00:31:24,190 well, why the hell not? 495 00:31:24,650 --> 00:31:26,370 I mean, I could live with that. 496 00:31:27,850 --> 00:31:29,030 The funny thing is, 497 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:31,540 When I started to feel better. 498 00:31:32,180 --> 00:31:34,800 Sounds like his family talked him into leaving you. 499 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,300 And taking the baby with him. 500 00:31:39,420 --> 00:31:41,140 Guess I need to look into that, huh? 501 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:47,940 So, what do we do about this? 502 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,160 We tell the truth. 503 00:31:53,899 --> 00:31:55,540 What is with all the mystery? 504 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,520 We really need to get down to the convention floor. 505 00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:02,060 I've got to boot the finish setting up. Look, everyone, I know this is 506 00:32:02,060 --> 00:32:04,140 inconvenient, but I promise it's important. 507 00:32:05,060 --> 00:32:06,500 Oh, Boo, come on in. 508 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:10,440 Okay, you all remember how we searched Mr. Buford's hotel room yesterday? 509 00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:12,380 Well, we missed something. 510 00:32:13,060 --> 00:32:14,700 You found the fragment? 511 00:32:15,100 --> 00:32:19,080 Well done, Boo, well done. I knew it would turn up. I thought we all agreed 512 00:32:19,080 --> 00:32:19,939 was fake. 513 00:32:19,940 --> 00:32:22,900 That's funny. I don't remember anyone agreeing to anything. 514 00:32:30,149 --> 00:32:33,810 Well, why don't you check the ceiling tiles and go ahead and rip up the carpet 515 00:32:33,810 --> 00:32:34,509 if you like. 516 00:32:34,510 --> 00:32:35,510 Oh, my God. 517 00:32:35,690 --> 00:32:38,250 Oh, my God. 518 00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:39,730 I told you it wasn't fake. 519 00:32:39,970 --> 00:32:41,150 No, I told you. 520 00:32:41,430 --> 00:32:44,490 What are we all sitting here for? Come on, let's take it downstairs. 521 00:32:45,050 --> 00:32:47,030 Everybody, hang on just a second. 522 00:32:47,270 --> 00:32:48,270 Wait a minute, okay? 523 00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:52,690 Now, we have to be very careful about this. 524 00:32:53,150 --> 00:32:55,710 Ike says he wants us to be taken more seriously. 525 00:32:56,250 --> 00:32:57,890 And that's what has to happen. 526 00:32:58,380 --> 00:33:01,860 You don't think they're going to take this seriously? Are any of you a 527 00:33:01,860 --> 00:33:04,120 metallurgist? Maybe a physicist? 528 00:33:04,520 --> 00:33:06,560 How about your plain old garden variety scientist? 529 00:33:07,620 --> 00:33:09,020 I didn't think so. 530 00:33:09,340 --> 00:33:14,160 Which means that as interesting as this thing is, we don't know what it is. 531 00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:19,080 Therefore, we are going to present this to the world as a mystery. 532 00:33:19,340 --> 00:33:23,280 And we are going to invite the world, the government included, to help us 533 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:24,280 that mystery. 534 00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:25,440 The government? 535 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:27,640 Don't you see? 536 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:29,620 This is a part of our problem. 537 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:33,300 We don't trust anybody, not even ourselves. 538 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:39,980 Which is why I'm hoping that by reaching out in the spirit of cooperation, that 539 00:33:39,980 --> 00:33:42,320 we can end the mistrust and the paranoia. 540 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:49,340 Ike, you want me to do it? 541 00:33:49,940 --> 00:33:50,940 You're our leader. 542 00:33:51,100 --> 00:33:53,600 I think the world should hear about this from one voice. 543 00:33:54,380 --> 00:33:55,380 Yours. 544 00:33:58,410 --> 00:33:59,410 Thank you, Boo. 545 00:34:00,030 --> 00:34:01,230 I appreciate this. 546 00:34:02,090 --> 00:34:04,550 Is there anyone here who doesn't agree with what we're doing? 547 00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:13,750 Good. 548 00:34:13,909 --> 00:34:15,010 Let's go tell the world. 549 00:34:18,630 --> 00:34:25,210 Where the hell is everyone? 550 00:34:25,799 --> 00:34:27,940 Didn't you just pass them in the hall? They're heading down to the convention 551 00:34:27,940 --> 00:34:28,940 floor. No. 552 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:30,560 Who's got the suitcase? 553 00:34:30,699 --> 00:34:31,359 Ike does. 554 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:33,500 We've got to stop him. Dale, don't get me started. 555 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:37,139 I just saw Gunther Van Owen in the parking lot. I don't think he's here for 556 00:34:37,139 --> 00:34:38,960 refreshments. What are you talking about? 557 00:34:39,199 --> 00:34:40,920 Remember when I said I was looking into some people? 558 00:34:41,860 --> 00:34:45,699 Well, say hello to Ike Pilchard, Gunther Van Owen's best buddy and card 559 00:34:45,699 --> 00:34:48,199 -carrying member of the Fifth Column and the F .B. Freaking High. 560 00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,520 You've got to listen to me before you go down there. 561 00:34:54,969 --> 00:34:56,750 Do you recognize the guy in the potato pack, Ray? 562 00:34:57,050 --> 00:35:01,390 That's Ike. At a fifth column picnic ten years ago. I got this off the fifth 563 00:35:01,390 --> 00:35:02,390 column website. 564 00:35:02,530 --> 00:35:03,610 Here's another shocker. 565 00:35:05,170 --> 00:35:06,170 Gunther Van Owen. 566 00:35:07,350 --> 00:35:08,510 He's a Shriner. 567 00:35:09,350 --> 00:35:10,350 So? 568 00:35:11,790 --> 00:35:13,310 It's basic. Basic. 569 00:35:15,130 --> 00:35:16,590 Shriners are masons. 570 00:35:17,040 --> 00:35:20,980 Masons have ties to the U .S. government, which have gone all the way 571 00:35:20,980 --> 00:35:21,980 the beginning of the republic. 572 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:28,780 Now, to reach the highest level of masondom, the 33rd level, masons from 573 00:35:28,780 --> 00:35:33,100 over the world have to travel to Washington, D .C. 574 00:35:34,820 --> 00:35:39,680 The connections are obvious. The fifth column and the FBI are one and the same. 575 00:35:40,020 --> 00:35:43,420 Dale, that is the flimsiest story. All right, all right. What about this one, 576 00:35:43,460 --> 00:35:44,460 then? 577 00:35:45,550 --> 00:35:48,510 This was from the telephone directory of the J. Edgar Hoover building in 578 00:35:48,510 --> 00:35:49,510 Washington, D .C. 579 00:35:50,130 --> 00:35:52,530 What's Gunther's name doing on there if he isn't a fed? 580 00:35:53,270 --> 00:35:55,890 Oh, my God. Gunther Van Owen right there on the page. 581 00:35:56,430 --> 00:35:57,550 Disavow. Discredit. 582 00:35:58,110 --> 00:35:59,110 Disinformed. Exactly. 583 00:35:59,570 --> 00:36:02,590 Doesn't that sound like Gunther to you? It sounds like the whole damn government 584 00:36:02,590 --> 00:36:03,590 to me. 585 00:36:03,630 --> 00:36:06,690 So Ike and Gunther... Are plants. 586 00:36:07,150 --> 00:36:11,410 Hide in plain sight times two. And I have just put the fragment into their 587 00:36:11,410 --> 00:36:14,270 hands. How much do you want to bet that those... 588 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:18,480 Bastards have already switched that fragment for some cheap plastic doodad 589 00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:21,520 that when Ike gets up there and reveals it to the world... Everyone's going to 590 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,020 think we're lying. They're going to think we're a bunch of crazy people. 591 00:36:24,020 --> 00:36:25,020 got to stop them. Come on. 592 00:36:48,069 --> 00:36:50,870 Thank you. 593 00:37:15,980 --> 00:37:19,120 to welcome you all to the 10th annual North American UFO Convention. 594 00:37:21,460 --> 00:37:28,440 I think you'll find this year's 595 00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,300 gathering is, well, to put it mildly, kind of special. 596 00:37:31,820 --> 00:37:34,600 And I'm happy to see our friends in the media have shown up too. 597 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:38,260 I promise you, you will not be disappointed. 598 00:37:39,840 --> 00:37:44,720 So our story begins at Mr. Monty's house upon... There's columns here, I can 599 00:37:44,720 --> 00:37:45,709 feel it. 600 00:37:45,710 --> 00:37:48,110 The CIA, the FBI, the tripod commission. 601 00:37:49,890 --> 00:37:54,270 If I 602 00:37:54,270 --> 00:38:01,270 know anything about how the feds operate, he's their 603 00:38:01,270 --> 00:38:06,230 insurance policy. Come on, hurry. So, to be honest, we're not exactly sure how 604 00:38:06,230 --> 00:38:10,710 poor Mr. Buford came to this untimely demise last night. All we do know is 605 00:38:10,710 --> 00:38:14,630 he showed up, gave us the spaceship fragment that's in this suitcase, 606 00:38:15,740 --> 00:38:16,740 Then ran. 607 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:22,860 Now, those of us who attend these conferences, we hear a lot of stories, 608 00:38:22,860 --> 00:38:27,700 some of them are pretty fantastical, which is all a convoluted way of saying 609 00:38:27,700 --> 00:38:34,140 that what I'm about to show you, well, I guess I'll let it speak for itself. 610 00:38:35,020 --> 00:38:36,460 No, sir, I can't. Not today. 611 00:38:36,740 --> 00:38:37,820 Dale, what are you doing? 612 00:38:38,060 --> 00:38:44,560 We know all about you and Gunther. You fit column levers. I got him. Who are 613 00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:45,560 talking about? 614 00:38:45,890 --> 00:38:47,750 Ladies and gentlemen, I must apologize. 615 00:38:48,190 --> 00:38:51,650 Those of us at Malfoy are well aware that Mr. LaRose is somewhat prone to 616 00:38:51,650 --> 00:38:52,650 hyperbole. 617 00:38:52,990 --> 00:38:54,110 Don't listen to him, folks. 618 00:38:54,610 --> 00:38:57,110 Right here is the picture definition of liar. 619 00:38:57,370 --> 00:39:00,410 What he doesn't want you to know is that he is an agent of the government, the 620 00:39:00,410 --> 00:39:03,670 federal government, who have been trying to get their stinking hands on this 621 00:39:03,670 --> 00:39:07,430 metal fragment since we got it last night. Ladies and gentlemen, I implore 622 00:39:09,550 --> 00:39:14,450 He wanted us to open this and show you what was inside. 623 00:39:15,470 --> 00:39:19,290 knew that you would think that we are liars and we're crazy because there's 624 00:39:19,290 --> 00:39:20,290 nothing in here. 625 00:39:20,490 --> 00:39:25,750 The truth is aliens are real. They're here. They're among us and they're 626 00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:26,729 with our government. 627 00:39:26,730 --> 00:39:28,950 Our government is lying to us. 628 00:39:57,770 --> 00:39:58,950 More and more shots now ringing out. 629 00:39:59,190 --> 00:40:02,450 It's just pandemonium here on the convention floor. Dale was telling the 630 00:40:02,870 --> 00:40:05,390 That's why the government killed him. You've got to listen to me. 631 00:40:05,950 --> 00:40:07,110 Disavow. Discredit. 632 00:40:07,550 --> 00:40:09,350 Disinform. That's what they're trying to do to us. 633 00:40:09,830 --> 00:40:14,050 Please, we're just getting word now that the police have surrounded the shooter. 634 00:40:14,710 --> 00:40:15,710 Don't move them up. 635 00:40:23,770 --> 00:40:27,290 Our source is telling us now that the police have a tentative ID on the 636 00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:32,300 Apparently, he belongs to a splinter group which is at odds with the 637 00:40:32,300 --> 00:40:34,360 leadership over some kind of alien finger. 638 00:40:34,620 --> 00:40:37,540 His name is Gunther Van Owen. That is not the truth. 639 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,840 Gunther Van Owen works for the government. Gunther Van Owen is the 640 00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:45,200 Ladies and gentlemen, it's a very, very sad day here. The question isn't really 641 00:40:45,200 --> 00:40:49,480 do aliens exist. We'll probably never know the answer to that. The real issue 642 00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:51,880 here is what would make one of these people so angry? 643 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:56,020 What would cause them to become so unhinged that they would perpetrate an 644 00:40:56,020 --> 00:40:57,280 violence like this? 645 00:41:01,340 --> 00:41:02,660 A toaster? 646 00:41:05,220 --> 00:41:07,020 Dale's right. 647 00:41:29,610 --> 00:41:30,610 How is he? 648 00:41:31,570 --> 00:41:32,970 He is fine. 649 00:41:34,750 --> 00:41:39,010 It would be a whole lot better if that so -called marksman hit the death where 650 00:41:39,010 --> 00:41:40,010 he was supposed to. 651 00:41:42,070 --> 00:41:45,950 When we get back to the office, I would like a word with him. 652 00:41:46,770 --> 00:41:48,790 And the package, can I see it? 653 00:41:50,170 --> 00:41:51,170 Right here. 654 00:41:55,450 --> 00:41:56,970 Good job, Agent Bolson. 655 00:41:57,770 --> 00:42:00,870 The folks back there will buy the goods we just sold them? If you mean, will 656 00:42:00,870 --> 00:42:02,870 anyone know that twice that commission did this? 657 00:42:03,450 --> 00:42:04,450 I doubt it. 658 00:42:04,810 --> 00:42:07,190 Those poor crazy bastards back there. 659 00:42:07,770 --> 00:42:10,190 No one will ever believe a word they say ever again. 660 00:42:13,670 --> 00:42:17,990 Even when they're right. 661 00:42:19,930 --> 00:42:20,930 I believe. 662 00:42:21,350 --> 00:42:22,350 I believe. 663 00:42:22,550 --> 00:42:23,810 I believe. 664 00:42:24,410 --> 00:42:25,410 I believe. 665 00:42:25,770 --> 00:42:26,870 I believe. 666 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:35,400 Sometimes the best way to hide the truth is to keep it in 667 00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,400 plain sight. 668 00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:48,380 Next on Hi -Fi, Cherry Falls. 669 00:42:57,230 --> 00:42:59,310 Experience the outer limit. 670 00:42:59,510 --> 00:43:02,310 Monday through Thursday at 8 on Syfy. 671 00:43:04,850 --> 00:43:07,270 On an all new episode of Lex. 672 00:43:07,550 --> 00:43:10,630 Oh yeah, baby, that feels good. 673 00:43:11,070 --> 00:43:12,070 Yeah. 674 00:43:12,510 --> 00:43:17,130 Hey. What is it? I can feel something. 675 00:43:17,370 --> 00:43:18,550 What, 790? 676 00:43:18,810 --> 00:43:19,990 My. Yes, yes. 677 00:43:20,350 --> 00:43:21,350 Hands. 678 00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:30,380 A Sci -Fi original series, Friday at 10. 679 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,880 Part of an all -new Sci -Fi Friday Prime. 680 00:43:33,180 --> 00:43:34,560 This is Sci -Fi.