1
00:00:03,420 --> 00:00:09,120
On the bus is episode 13, production
number 0912, recording date 9 -11 -71.

2
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:10,340
Take one.

3
00:01:41,900 --> 00:01:44,580
What are you stopping here for? The bus
is down there.

4
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,180
Blimey, we don't want to pick up all
them passengers.

5
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:49,320
Look, the high street will be packed
this morning.

6
00:01:49,580 --> 00:01:52,380
Yeah, you're right. Some people have got
nothing better to do than ride about on

7
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,380
buses all day long.

8
00:01:53,700 --> 00:01:57,140
Look, the number 24 joins us here,
doesn't he? All the way to the depot.

9
00:01:57,140 --> 00:01:58,140
let him pick them up.

10
00:01:58,540 --> 00:02:01,140
Don't be daft. He comes in behind us,
doesn't he?

11
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:04,500
Yeah, well, not if we let him go in
first, he won't, will he?

12
00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:11,220
Look, he's due any minute. Come on.

13
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,680
How are we coasting now mate?

14
00:02:35,900 --> 00:02:37,020
We've got time for a fag.

15
00:02:38,990 --> 00:02:41,070
Well, I've got to admit, that's a good
scheme you've got going there, Jack.

16
00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:42,830
Yeah, well, it's better than working,
isn't it?

17
00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:45,170
Do you know what I was thinking?

18
00:02:45,410 --> 00:02:46,228
What's that?

19
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,890
We ought to do this all the way around
the route. Then we wouldn't have to pick

20
00:02:48,890 --> 00:02:49,950
up any passengers at all.

21
00:02:52,110 --> 00:02:53,230
Come on, get that thing off.

22
00:02:56,850 --> 00:02:57,850
Hey,

23
00:02:59,230 --> 00:03:00,990
mate, what a scheme, isn't it?

24
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:05,590
I've got to admit, you're a good netter,
isn't it? Hey, you too.

25
00:03:08,360 --> 00:03:09,920
Oh, blimey, Greta's on the warpath.

26
00:03:10,180 --> 00:03:11,019
I wonder if he's tumbled.

27
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:13,680
I knew we shouldn't have stopped there
so long. Nah, I'm not scared of him.

28
00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,080
No, neither am I. Let's break it out,
can't we? Yeah, right.

29
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:19,660
Look, Blackie, it's no good going off to
the deep end. We was held up in the

30
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:22,160
high streets, so don't start. Yeah,
don't you start, mate. I'll tell you

31
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,260
something. I'm up to ear with it. That's
it.

32
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:26,200
Who started it? Yeah, well, don't, then.
Don't. That's all we're saying. Don't

33
00:03:26,200 --> 00:03:27,200
start.

34
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:28,540
Relax,

35
00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,040
boy. We all have our bad days. Don't
worry about it.

36
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,640
You all right, Blackie?

37
00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,560
Yes, I'm all right, Butler. You all
right?

38
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,000
Can I have a word with you a minute?

39
00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:38,240
Hello, hello.

40
00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:41,460
There's something funny here. Yeah. Come
on, come on. What's wrong?

41
00:03:41,740 --> 00:03:44,400
Well, you know we're short of an
inspector here, don't you? Yeah.

42
00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,860
Well, I've run off my feet. I can't
cope. I might as well admit it.

43
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:51,420
One or two of the fellas here are
beginning to take advantage of it. Oh,

44
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:52,880
What a shame.

45
00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:54,960
Well,

46
00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:58,000
the manager's asked me to make up one of
the men into the rank of inspector.

47
00:04:01,020 --> 00:04:03,480
You know the most works to take, don't
you?

48
00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,860
Will they, Jack? No, no, there's no
creeps in this depot, Blakey. Look, none

49
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:11,040
the blokes will do it, and the shop
steward, I'll make sure they don't.

50
00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,500
a matter of fact, Harper, the manager
suggested I promoted you.

51
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,399
No, but... No, no, no.

52
00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:21,180
No, all right, shut up, Sam. No, uh...
All right, Blakey, I'll think about it,

53
00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:23,340
then. Yes, the manager thought you might
think about it.

54
00:04:23,780 --> 00:04:26,000
No, I'm telling you, waste of time. Come
and have a word with me in the office,

55
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:27,340
will you? Yeah, right -o, Mr. Blake.

56
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,259
It's just Mr.

57
00:04:31,260 --> 00:04:32,260
Blake bit.

58
00:04:32,460 --> 00:04:35,060
Blimey, you're not going to take that
job, are you? Now, listen, Stan.

59
00:04:35,320 --> 00:04:38,900
Don't listen to me, mate. An inspector
makes up the timesheets, doesn't he? I

60
00:04:38,900 --> 00:04:42,560
can put you down for all the overtime
you want and you won't have to work it.

61
00:04:45,980 --> 00:04:48,340
You're great, mate. You're the greatest,
son.

62
00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:50,440
That's the type of overtime I like.

63
00:04:51,620 --> 00:04:54,900
I could put a smashing clippy on with
you and all.

64
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:58,180
Yeah. Hey, I'll tell you what I'll have.
That new blonde bit. What's her name?

65
00:04:58,340 --> 00:04:59,540
Christine. Yeah, what's wrong?

66
00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:02,150
No, no, no, fine, mate. No, I'll put her
on with you. Yeah, of course, she's a

67
00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:03,150
cracker, mate. I'll have her, yeah.

68
00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:06,070
Here she is. She's a smasher, mate. Oh,
no, no.

69
00:05:07,990 --> 00:05:10,850
Oh, hello, Jack. Hello, darling. Come to
lunch, then.

70
00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:12,830
Yeah. Christine, can I have a word with
you, darling?

71
00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:14,410
Of course you can, Stan.

72
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:16,670
Here, come and sit with us in the
canteen.

73
00:05:16,970 --> 00:05:19,090
I hope the lunch is nice. I'm starving.

74
00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,330
Yeah.

75
00:05:22,570 --> 00:05:23,970
Jack, come in, Talbot.

76
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:25,910
Oh, come in, Mr Blake.

77
00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:38,760
Morning, Christine.

78
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,860
This is our first day out together,
isn't it?

79
00:05:43,080 --> 00:05:45,580
Love, do you fancy coming out with me
one night?

80
00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:47,660
You do?

81
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,080
Well, how about coming round my house to
tea tomorrow night?

82
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,519
Oh, tea?

83
00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:52,520
Yeah, yeah, tomorrow.

84
00:05:52,780 --> 00:05:54,760
Yeah, I'll tell Mum then, eh? Yeah.

85
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:58,240
Actually, I can't wait for tomorrow
night.

86
00:06:05,650 --> 00:06:07,670
Oh, blimey, look. Here comes Ben and
Bill.

87
00:06:09,430 --> 00:06:12,170
All right, that's enough of that,
Butler. Come on, get this bus out of

88
00:06:12,170 --> 00:06:13,149
lake.

89
00:06:13,150 --> 00:06:16,050
That was marvellous, Blakey, that was. I
didn't see your lips move, mate.

90
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:20,330
You'd make a smashing act together. The
ventriloquist act, you and Jack. Will

91
00:06:20,330 --> 00:06:23,330
you shut up and get that bus out? Yeah,
get that bus out.

92
00:06:26,490 --> 00:06:28,290
Yeah, all right, Mr Harper.

93
00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:40,660
Jack is an inspector. You're going to
have to watch your step -mate, aren't

94
00:06:40,940 --> 00:06:42,900
He knows all your old dodges, doesn't
he?

95
00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:45,040
Well, you ought to. He taught them to
me.

96
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:47,500
Here's your food, love.

97
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:50,520
Oh, thanks, but that's not much for a
working man, is it?

98
00:06:50,740 --> 00:06:52,560
That's not yours. That's for all of us.

99
00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:53,840
You what?

100
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,680
What, one tiny sausage and a little bit
of fried bread?

101
00:06:57,980 --> 00:06:59,740
I can't possibly live on that.

102
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:02,940
You'll have to. The price of food now,
you're lucky to get that.

103
00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:06,620
Yeah, Mum's right, I suppose. Come on,
come on, Arthur. Arthur, come on, mate.

104
00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:10,190
Let's see the wallet. Get the wallet
out. What are you talking about, mate?

105
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:13,690
put enough money in this. What are you
talking about? Blimey, the last time I

106
00:07:13,690 --> 00:07:15,790
saw a quid off you, it had the Queen
Victoria's head on it.

107
00:07:16,990 --> 00:07:20,950
Shut up, I've got a pair of you. Go on,
eat it while it's hot. I'll make you a

108
00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:22,130
nice cup of cocoa. All right.

109
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:24,430
Where's it gone?

110
00:07:29,470 --> 00:07:30,890
Blimey, she's hit the lot.

111
00:07:31,870 --> 00:07:32,870
Oh, am I?

112
00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:34,670
You great fat pig.

113
00:07:37,900 --> 00:07:39,800
You make a vulture look like a sparrow.

114
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:44,280
Well, that's all there is. You'll have
to wait till the end of it. That's all

115
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:45,280
there is in the larder.

116
00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:48,880
Charming. We can't, Mum. God, I've got
Christine coming round tomorrow night.

117
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:49,920
You know, the new clippy.

118
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,080
Well, you'll have to tell her to bring
her own food, won't you?

119
00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:53,820
You'll have to cancel it, love.

120
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,560
There's nothing left in the housekeeping
till Friday.

121
00:07:56,860 --> 00:07:58,700
I can't cancel it. I've told her she's
coming.

122
00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:00,360
Oh, all right, there you are.

123
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:01,719
There you are.

124
00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,260
Take a quid. That's my last quid. Oh,
it's all right.

125
00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,140
I'll have to ask Jack for a bit of
overtime, that's all.

126
00:08:07,900 --> 00:08:08,900
Do you think he'll give it you?

127
00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:10,100
Well, he said he would.

128
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:13,140
Mind you, he was a bit funny with me
today.

129
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,120
Oh, well, love, it's his first day. Just
trying to impress.

130
00:08:17,740 --> 00:08:20,620
Yeah, you're right, yeah. Yeah, he said
he'd give me a couple of hours overtime

131
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,800
any time I needed it, really, you know.
And the best part is, he says that I

132
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:24,800
don't have to work it.

133
00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:29,480
Oh, it'd be lovely to have a decent meal
for once. I can fill myself right up.

134
00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,740
Olive, I'm only doing a couple of hours
overtime, not a couple of months.

135
00:08:41,039 --> 00:08:42,500
Morning, Charlie, mate. Morning, mate.

136
00:08:43,380 --> 00:08:44,540
Hey, Chalky. Yeah.

137
00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:46,020
Have you seen Jack about?

138
00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:47,680
Mr Harper?

139
00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:50,460
He's in the office, mate. Oh, you've got
it now, Mr Harper, eh?

140
00:08:51,380 --> 00:08:55,060
As a matter of fact, I'm going to ask Mr
Harper if he can give me a couple of

141
00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:56,060
hours overtime.

142
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:57,680
Good luck to you, mate.

143
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:06,580
God blimey, Blagin, for a minute I
thought you'd grown two heads.

144
00:09:11,830 --> 00:09:12,830
What do you want, Butler?

145
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:16,070
I didn't come to see you, really,
Blaggy. I came to see old Jack here.

146
00:09:17,370 --> 00:09:19,370
Oh, sorry, I mean Mr Harper.

147
00:09:19,570 --> 00:09:20,850
Yeah, well, now he's seen me, so I'll
be.

148
00:09:21,930 --> 00:09:27,450
Hey, Mr Harper, sir, I've come to see
you about the overtime you promised.

149
00:09:30,910 --> 00:09:31,849
You promised.

150
00:09:31,850 --> 00:09:32,850
Butler. What?

151
00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:34,350
You're getting a Twitter, son.

152
00:09:35,610 --> 00:09:38,850
Your eyesight failing, is it, Butler? I
think I'd better put him down to see an

153
00:09:38,850 --> 00:09:39,850
eye specialist, Mr Blaggy.

154
00:09:41,109 --> 00:09:42,850
Oh, blimey, mate, you mean it. Well?

155
00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:45,830
Well, I tell you what, it'll be you that
wants to see the eye specialist in a

156
00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,110
minute, mate. Now, watch it, Butler.
Look, I've come in here to get a couple

157
00:09:48,110 --> 00:09:49,570
hours overtime, you promised me. Eh?

158
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:51,370
Overtime? Yeah.

159
00:09:52,650 --> 00:09:56,350
Butler, if there was any overtime, which
there isn't, and he was to give it to

160
00:09:56,350 --> 00:10:00,030
you, which he won't, I will still have
to agree to it, which I shan't.

161
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,350
Now, get out.

162
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:06,630
Blakey! Never mind the Blakey, get out.
Look at the style of him, look.

163
00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:10,210
Yeah, smart yourself up, Butler. You're
the scruffiest busman in the old depot.

164
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:12,670
Well, I must be, since I've made you up
to Inspector.

165
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:14,470
Yeah!

166
00:10:15,330 --> 00:10:16,330
Well, I'm going.

167
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:23,010
I must say, er...

168
00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:40,710
I thought you handled Butler very well
yesterday, Jack. Oh, yeah, well, if

169
00:10:40,710 --> 00:10:42,550
got to be an inspector, one must do the
job properly.

170
00:10:42,790 --> 00:10:43,790
Yes, very well.

171
00:10:43,850 --> 00:10:45,630
I'm going to have to watch my step with
you and I, eh?

172
00:10:46,290 --> 00:10:50,690
You know, Jack, you know it's always
been my ambition to fix Butler, don't

173
00:10:51,290 --> 00:10:54,610
Well, I want you to help me to do it
properly. Oh, no, come off it, Blackie,

174
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:55,509
can't do that.

175
00:10:55,510 --> 00:10:57,890
I mean, what do you take me for? I mean,
he is my mate.

176
00:10:58,090 --> 00:10:59,090
Mate? Mate?

177
00:10:59,630 --> 00:11:01,710
You can't have friends when you're an
inspector.

178
00:11:02,310 --> 00:11:03,310
I mean, take me.

179
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,600
I haven't got a single friend in the old
depot, I'm proud to say.

180
00:11:08,420 --> 00:11:09,520
They hate the sight of you.

181
00:11:10,040 --> 00:11:12,740
I'm glad they do, mate. I'll tell you
what, they'll hate the sight of you

182
00:11:12,740 --> 00:11:13,820
you're finished, you know, I'll tell
you.

183
00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,100
Yes, it's very lonely at the top, you
know, Jack.

184
00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,560
It's either us or them. No, I'm sorry, I
can't do it.

185
00:11:20,100 --> 00:11:22,560
I might remind you, Harper, that you're
only acting, Inspector.

186
00:11:23,300 --> 00:11:25,640
You're not established, you know, you'd
easily be thrown back on the heap.

187
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:27,020
Yeah.

188
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,080
Right then.

189
00:11:28,540 --> 00:11:30,000
Now, Butler's clocked in, hasn't he?

190
00:11:30,320 --> 00:11:31,320
Yeah.

191
00:11:31,420 --> 00:11:33,220
He's not in the depot, though, is he?
No.

192
00:11:33,580 --> 00:11:37,000
No, no. He's always clocked in this time
of the day and not in any.

193
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,780
Oh, yeah, well, that's because I always
used to clock someone in.

194
00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:43,060
I know all about that, boy.

195
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:47,800
What I can't understand, Jack, what gets
me beat every time is how he manages to

196
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,640
get in that main gate without me
catching him. Oh, well, that's easy. He

197
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:51,680
through the manager's loo.

198
00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,620
I know he does. Yeah, yeah. He should be
there around about now.

199
00:11:57,420 --> 00:11:58,420
Let's get him.

200
00:11:58,520 --> 00:11:59,900
Oh, no, no, Blake.

201
00:12:00,140 --> 00:12:01,140
Now, Blake, wait a minute.

202
00:12:01,390 --> 00:12:04,950
Look, look, I don't like doing this to
an old mate. It becomes very hard, I

203
00:12:04,950 --> 00:12:06,930
say. Don't worry, Jack, it gets easier
as you go along.

204
00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:09,190
Here, let's get him now, come on.

205
00:12:11,110 --> 00:12:12,110
Shh, shh.

206
00:12:17,730 --> 00:12:18,730
Oh,

207
00:12:25,830 --> 00:12:28,090
blimey, huh?

208
00:12:28,730 --> 00:12:29,730
Oh, thanks, Blakey.

209
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:31,280
Lady!

210
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,320
What are you doing here?

211
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,120
What are you doing here, eh?

212
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:38,920
You're late for work, aren't you?

213
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,460
Yeah, I was taking a short cut.

214
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:41,840
Well, do the manages, Lou.

215
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:43,850
Yeah, well, he wasn't using it, was he?

216
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:49,670
Don't be funny, now. Don't be funny.
Well, I'll go and... Clock in. Yeah,

217
00:12:49,670 --> 00:12:51,750
exactly what I'm going to do. Go on,
then. Clock in, see?

218
00:12:53,430 --> 00:12:56,830
I'll bet you're wondering why I come
through that window, don't you?

219
00:12:57,510 --> 00:13:02,930
Why I come through the new window is
because it's only a little one and it

220
00:13:02,930 --> 00:13:03,930
me fit.

221
00:13:04,290 --> 00:13:05,510
Do you know what I'm saying?

222
00:13:06,890 --> 00:13:07,930
I'm just going to clock in.

223
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:12,930
Is that what you're looking for?

224
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:18,070
Oh.

225
00:13:18,650 --> 00:13:19,650
Oh, I get it.

226
00:13:20,190 --> 00:13:23,730
He shot me, hadn't he?

227
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:25,690
I've got you, Butler.

228
00:13:25,990 --> 00:13:26,990
I've got you.

229
00:13:28,230 --> 00:13:29,590
Well, I'm going to tell you something
now.

230
00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:31,430
He used to clock me in.

231
00:13:31,970 --> 00:13:35,730
Yes, it didn't escape my notice, Harper.
I'm afraid I shall have to report this.

232
00:13:35,930 --> 00:13:36,489
Yeah, I see.

233
00:13:36,490 --> 00:13:37,690
You've done yourself in there, haven't
you?

234
00:13:38,570 --> 00:13:39,710
I'll go and get the bus out of here.

235
00:13:40,310 --> 00:13:41,370
See, done yourself, huh?

236
00:13:41,850 --> 00:13:44,890
Mr Blake, if you were prepared to
overlook this, there's some more things

237
00:13:44,890 --> 00:13:45,890
tell you about, Butler.

238
00:13:46,310 --> 00:13:47,310
Oh, yeah?

239
00:13:47,630 --> 00:13:48,630
What's that?

240
00:13:57,950 --> 00:13:59,250
Oh, it's not all standing.

241
00:13:59,550 --> 00:14:00,550
Is it our tea break?

242
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:01,590
Tea break?

243
00:14:01,599 --> 00:14:02,599
Blimey, you've had four already.

244
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,320
Now, come on, come on, come on. Yes.

245
00:14:04,820 --> 00:14:06,220
Shouldn't we be picking up them
passengers?

246
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:10,000
No, no, no, darling, no. We don't want
you using up all your strength to punch

247
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,280
in tickets all day long, do we?

248
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:14,020
I've got to keep my strength up. It's
all right.

249
00:14:15,340 --> 00:14:16,340
I'll tell you what we do.

250
00:14:30,530 --> 00:14:32,190
Yeah. We'll have time for ourselves.

251
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:33,750
Oh, good.

252
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:35,510
I'll have time to finish my buns.

253
00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:39,930
We won't have time for ourselves.

254
00:14:41,090 --> 00:14:42,090
Come on, then.

255
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,640
It's me, Stan Butler.

256
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:08,860
I know that, you twit.

257
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,100
Of course, Jedi.

258
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,680
I told you we'd find him here, didn't I?

259
00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:17,820
God, you're a right 'un.

260
00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:21,960
Blimey, he put me up to it. Yes, and he
put me up to you too, mate.

261
00:15:22,260 --> 00:15:24,560
Now you get on that bus and get right
back to the depot.

262
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,260
And remember, I shall be right behind
you.

263
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:30,520
All right, Dracula.

264
00:15:30,980 --> 00:15:31,980
Here, just a minute.

265
00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:34,060
Don't you call Mr Blake Dracula.

266
00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:37,710
Blimey, get you.

267
00:15:38,110 --> 00:15:41,230
I'll tell you what they'll be calling
you down the depot, mate. The pride of

268
00:15:41,230 --> 00:15:42,230
Dracula.

269
00:15:42,610 --> 00:15:45,490
So don't you two start breeding because
there won't be enough blood to go

270
00:15:45,490 --> 00:15:46,490
around.

271
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,610
Get off that bus!

272
00:15:56,790 --> 00:16:00,530
Right then, Butler. You can go and have
your normal tea break now. Go on. Thank

273
00:16:00,530 --> 00:16:02,090
you very much, sir. Right then, Jack.

274
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:04,270
Let's go in and see the manager and make
out our report.

275
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:06,680
We've got you on the run now, haven't
we?

276
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:10,480
Oh, I'm having a lovely day today.

277
00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,400
Well, I'll tell you something. He taught
me it, you know.

278
00:16:14,620 --> 00:16:15,920
He used to do it with me.

279
00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,440
Yes, that's very true, isn't it?

280
00:16:18,260 --> 00:16:20,980
Mr Blake, there's something else I can
tell you about that.

281
00:16:23,700 --> 00:16:26,260
Well, Christine, I just can't believe
it, honestly.

282
00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:31,460
My mate Jack, I just... What a creep.
What a crawler.

283
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,720
I don't know.

284
00:16:33,100 --> 00:16:34,360
I think he's quite nice, really.

285
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:35,800
Sort of cuddly.

286
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,080
Cuddly?

287
00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:40,760
You'd be safer cuddling a Bartman
stricter.

288
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:43,220
What's funny in there?

289
00:16:43,740 --> 00:16:46,880
What's funny in there? Blimey, he shot
me twice already today.

290
00:16:47,220 --> 00:16:49,040
Yeah, well, he's only doing his job,
isn't he?

291
00:16:49,340 --> 00:16:52,940
Ah, let's forgive him. Here, let's go
and have a cup of tea, eh? Oh, yeah,

292
00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:53,960
I'm a bit peckish.

293
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,380
You like to put up with a cheese roll,
cos I'm a bit brassically skinned.

294
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:01,740
Oh. I'll tell you what, though. Here.

295
00:17:02,449 --> 00:17:05,170
Come round the back of the canteen with
me. We've got a smashing system going.

296
00:17:06,109 --> 00:17:07,150
I'll show you what it is, shall I?

297
00:17:08,290 --> 00:17:09,930
Don't get eager, darling.

298
00:17:10,250 --> 00:17:11,670
I'll show you what we do here.

299
00:17:11,990 --> 00:17:16,290
You keep cavey, though, see? Keep dog
-eye. Keep dog -eye out. And watch this.

300
00:17:16,450 --> 00:17:18,510
Remove this bit of hardball here, see?

301
00:17:25,990 --> 00:17:27,150
That's great, that is.

302
00:17:27,470 --> 00:17:29,850
Great? It's better than buying them,
I'll tell you that, darling.

303
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:32,680
Yeah, I think I'll have one myself while
I'm here.

304
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:40,480
What I can't understand, Jack, is how he
gets the food out of here. I mean, the

305
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,460
storeroom's always locked up well, isn't
it? Oh, well, that's easy. We just put

306
00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:44,700
our hands through the broken window.

307
00:17:45,380 --> 00:17:47,460
We? Oh, no, I didn't say we. I said he.

308
00:17:47,880 --> 00:17:48,880
Oh, I see.

309
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,340
We'll have to put a stop to that then,
won't we?

310
00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:52,640
Mmm, nice.

311
00:17:52,740 --> 00:17:54,680
It's not good, is it? Yeah, can I have
another?

312
00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:56,660
Well, I just had one.

313
00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:59,800
Look at the size of it, darling. I don't
know where you put it all.

314
00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:02,050
I've got very active glands.

315
00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:04,670
I can see that. Blimey, you must have
got them from a horse.

316
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:06,690
Hang on a minute.

317
00:18:08,270 --> 00:18:09,690
Is that it now?

318
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:13,350
Gotcha!

319
00:18:18,070 --> 00:18:19,670
No, you don't get away. No,

320
00:18:20,510 --> 00:18:22,390
no. Come on, up the office.

321
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:25,690
Come on. Don't be an idiot. You can't
pull me through this hole.

322
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,620
Brady, this is the happiest day of my
life.

323
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:37,140
I'm going to see that you pay for every
mortal morsel of food that's ever been

324
00:18:37,140 --> 00:18:39,960
taken out of this canteen since his
window got broken.

325
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:42,560
Jack, get him there. He's got the
evidence on his head.

326
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:46,860
Oh, here comes Blubbermouth.

327
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:50,200
Oh, look, I'm sorry, mate. I had to do
it, otherwise I'd lose me job.

328
00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:52,700
Carry on like that or you'll use a lot
more, I tell you, mate.

329
00:18:53,460 --> 00:18:56,240
Oh, darn me, I wish I'd never taken this
rotten job in the first place.

330
00:18:56,460 --> 00:18:58,120
Oh, take the notice of him.

331
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:01,670
Hey, Christine, love, do you fancy
coming out with me tonight?

332
00:19:02,690 --> 00:19:05,350
Oh, I can't. I'm going out on a stand
for tea.

333
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:06,890
Oh, that's all right. I'll pick you up
after.

334
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:09,570
Oh. Oh, you mean for dinner?

335
00:19:10,210 --> 00:19:11,410
Yeah. Oh.

336
00:19:12,070 --> 00:19:13,070
All right, then.

337
00:19:13,310 --> 00:19:16,870
I mean, after all, you're the boss,
aren't you? I suppose I have to do

338
00:19:16,870 --> 00:19:17,870
everything you say.

339
00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:21,850
Yeah. You know, it might not be so bad
being an inspector after all.

340
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:31,080
I must say, Stan, these scampi are
delicious.

341
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,140
Yes, I can see you've enjoyed them.
You've had them all.

342
00:19:34,900 --> 00:19:37,260
No, no, look. Under the party, there's
another one.

343
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,239
Oh, is there?

344
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:39,240
Oh,

345
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,500
it tastes lovely.

346
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:47,240
As I didn't get the taste of it myself,
I only had two rather small ones.

347
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:52,120
Oh, I say, Stan, I'm so glad you asked
me to tea. I love scampi.

348
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:54,360
So I noticed you finished a lot.

349
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:55,800
Oh.

350
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:59,770
Well. In that case, if you'll excuse me,
I'll just nip up to the bathroom and

351
00:19:59,770 --> 00:20:01,550
wash my hands then, Stanley. All right,
darling.

352
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:06,790
I should watch her, mate. She'll
probably eat the soap.

353
00:20:08,550 --> 00:20:11,850
That girl is like a walking dustbin. She
certainly can put it away.

354
00:20:12,230 --> 00:20:15,830
Here, I didn't see the going of them,
Scampi. She was so quick, she never even

355
00:20:15,830 --> 00:20:16,830
gave me a chance.

356
00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:20,570
I might admit, I never thought I'd live
to see the day when anybody could beat

357
00:20:20,570 --> 00:20:21,570
you.

358
00:20:21,650 --> 00:20:24,130
Look, I am starving. Get the next course
ready, Ma.

359
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:27,170
Before she comes down, let's give
ourselves a fighting chance.

360
00:20:28,050 --> 00:20:30,030
There is no next course.

361
00:20:30,510 --> 00:20:33,430
All that's left is a bit of cheese and
the rest of the loaf. Well, get your

362
00:20:33,430 --> 00:20:35,330
skates on and get in quick.

363
00:20:35,750 --> 00:20:37,450
Oh, well, am I missing anything?

364
00:20:37,690 --> 00:20:39,490
No, love, I was just clearing the table.

365
00:20:39,810 --> 00:20:43,830
Oh, look, Mrs Butler, as you've all had
enough to eat, why don't you all go and

366
00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:46,210
sit in the front room while Stanley and
me do the washing up?

367
00:20:46,590 --> 00:20:48,410
Oh, thanks very much, love.

368
00:20:48,870 --> 00:20:51,010
Oh, that's very thoughtful, isn't it,
Mum?

369
00:20:51,230 --> 00:20:53,830
Arthur, why don't you show Mum and Olive
in the front room and you can watch

370
00:20:53,830 --> 00:20:55,490
telly? How lovely.

371
00:20:56,370 --> 00:20:58,490
We'll all sit and watch the food
commercials.

372
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:09,910
I never thought they'd leave us alone.

373
00:21:10,490 --> 00:21:11,469
Poor me.

374
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:14,650
We've got it all to ourselves now. Now
we can really get down to it, darling.

375
00:21:14,850 --> 00:21:15,910
I'll just pump the cushions up.

376
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,820
I'm dying for some more of that lovely
sliced bread.

377
00:21:21,340 --> 00:21:24,880
I didn't like taking any more whilst
they were still here, in case they

378
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,880
I was a bit of a pig.

379
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:27,300
A bit of a pig, yeah.

380
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:30,040
Here, just a minute. Give us a kiss
first, don't mess about.

381
00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:33,400
Hey, now, look, hang about, Stanley. I
mean, I must eat, mustn't I? Now, go on,

382
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:36,140
sit up with this. Come on, Blimey, come
on, give us a kiss. Oh, I'm not

383
00:21:36,140 --> 00:21:37,400
interrupting anything, am I?

384
00:21:38,380 --> 00:21:39,920
Where do you spring from? Are you ready,
love?

385
00:21:40,140 --> 00:21:41,140
Mmm, yeah.

386
00:21:41,420 --> 00:21:42,420
Ready? Ready for what?

387
00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:44,180
Well, Jack's taking me out to dinner.

388
00:21:44,810 --> 00:21:47,070
Oh, thanks for the lovely scampi, Stan.
See you in the morning.

389
00:21:47,490 --> 00:21:48,490
Ready, Jack, love?

390
00:21:48,690 --> 00:21:49,409
Yeah, sure.

391
00:21:49,410 --> 00:21:51,190
Oh, I do hope we're going to a nice
restaurant.

392
00:21:51,410 --> 00:21:52,590
I'm ravenous.

393
00:21:54,770 --> 00:21:55,770
Just a minute, Jack.

394
00:21:56,730 --> 00:21:58,110
Give her this bit of bread and cheese.

395
00:21:58,310 --> 00:21:59,590
Tie her over till she gets there.

396
00:22:05,570 --> 00:22:06,570
Hello, my darling.

397
00:22:09,070 --> 00:22:10,810
What's the matter, Stan? You're clocking
in on time.

398
00:22:11,250 --> 00:22:12,530
Oh, I upset you, eh?

399
00:22:12,810 --> 00:22:14,330
Just because I'm early, you won't be
up...

400
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,820
What's all this, then? Oh, I bugged him
in resignation, didn't I?

401
00:22:19,740 --> 00:22:20,499
You what?

402
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:24,100
Ah, well, I had good think about it, and
I thought, well, I'm missing out on all

403
00:22:24,100 --> 00:22:26,800
the good things in life, like making
Blakey's life a misery.

404
00:22:27,620 --> 00:22:31,400
You know what? Quite honestly, mate, I
knew you wouldn't stick it, really. Do

405
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,379
you know why, mate?

406
00:22:32,380 --> 00:22:34,640
Because, you see, you were a born
layabout.

407
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:35,920
Oh, thanks, mate.

408
00:22:36,780 --> 00:22:39,520
Here, sorry about Christine and all that
last night.

409
00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,500
Ah, it's all right. I'm glad you came
when you did before she started eating

410
00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:43,500
knives and forks.

411
00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:47,760
I took her out to the Chinese after. You
know, we were there for over three

412
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,100
hours. But I managed to stop her eating
in the end.

413
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,380
How'd you manage that? I ran out of
money.

414
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,199
Morning, Jack.

415
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,660
Another lovely day, eh?

416
00:22:58,480 --> 00:22:59,480
Morning, Blakey.

417
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:02,559
What's this?

418
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,100
Oh, I've resigned, haven't I?

419
00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:05,420
Dracula.

420
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,720
Here we go again.

421
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,020
Back to that again, is it? Yeah.

422
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:12,900
Oh, I knew you wouldn't stick it.

423
00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,380
I knew you wasn't inspector material
like me.

424
00:23:15,660 --> 00:23:18,620
You see, your trouble is, Jack, that
you're not a big enough creep.

425
00:23:20,380 --> 00:23:24,020
Get in that bus with him and get it out
then, if that's the case. Oh, Blackie,

426
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:27,960
by the way, do you know what? Some lab
art's gone and stuck his arm through the

427
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,540
canteen window and pinched a great bowl
of batter for the fried fish.

428
00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:33,620
Bowl of batter?

429
00:23:33,680 --> 00:23:34,680
Mm.

430
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:38,220
Now, what do you want to go and do a
dull thing like that for? Yeah, watch

431
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,700
mate. You've got no evidence it was me.

432
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,000
Oh, OK.

433
00:23:41,240 --> 00:23:44,480
No, but I'll find that blummin'
evidence, mate, and when I do, someone's

434
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:45,740
to blum me more cop it, I'll tell you.

435
00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:55,460
No, that's not part of the evidence,
Blake. It won't be me who cops it. Oh,

436
00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:56,460
that bus out of it.

437
00:24:06,220 --> 00:24:09,680
Hey, you want to be careful, Blakey.
Don't let Christine see you like that.

438
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:11,600
She's rather partial to a bit of fried
fish.