1 00:00:42,990 --> 00:00:44,230 That's the way to do it, Olive, love. 2 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,210 See? Nice bit of stuff here. 3 00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:49,170 Stack it down at the bottom, take all the bubbles out. Right now, it's got 4 00:00:50,410 --> 00:00:51,410 That's it. 5 00:00:51,850 --> 00:00:54,170 Right, that's done that bit. It's got a step paper in it. 6 00:00:54,450 --> 00:00:56,570 Give us one of them plastic panels then, love. All right, yeah. 7 00:00:57,210 --> 00:00:59,210 Now, this is what they call contact glue. 8 00:00:59,850 --> 00:01:02,590 See, that's already dry on the wall here. You put this on, you can't get it 9 00:01:02,590 --> 00:01:03,590 apart. It's marvellous stuff. 10 00:01:03,850 --> 00:01:04,890 Here we go, watch this, love. 11 00:01:05,830 --> 00:01:06,970 Look at that. 12 00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:08,390 Looks good, doesn't it? 13 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:09,880 Hey, Mum, what do you think of it, then? 14 00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,160 Oh, yes, it looks very nice. 15 00:01:13,220 --> 00:01:15,160 Here, you haven't scratched the bath, have you? 16 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:16,980 I've made me socks up. 17 00:01:18,120 --> 00:01:21,040 Now, see, Mum, I've put this panel up, the first panel up. Now, it's going to 18 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,440 be... I've done the paper, you've finished that, see? 19 00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:25,680 Now, it's going to be like this, all from here, right the way round, it's 20 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:27,560 to look like that. Oh, lovely. 21 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,500 Ian Arthur must come and see that. He's just come in for his dinner. I'll call 22 00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:32,500 him. Arthur! 23 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:35,120 Arthur! Oh, Stan, he's so lovely. 24 00:01:35,860 --> 00:01:37,040 Yeah, would I have said it myself? 25 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:38,820 It's going to look very nice. 26 00:01:40,920 --> 00:01:43,260 Well... Oh, yeah. 27 00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:45,620 I told you that paper was a terrible mistake. 28 00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,340 What? 29 00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:50,920 It's cheap and nasty, mate. 30 00:01:51,140 --> 00:01:53,860 I told you that fake tile paper looked terrible. 31 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:56,100 Oh, I think it looks very nice. 32 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,820 My dear mother -in -law, it's a cheap imitation. 33 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:02,660 I always say, if you can't have the real thing, settle for something completely 34 00:02:02,660 --> 00:02:04,800 different. I suppose that's why you married Olive. 35 00:02:05,940 --> 00:02:06,940 Damn. 36 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,759 You know what I mean? Just because he couldn't marry Raquel Walsh, he didn't 37 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:11,800 out and become a mutt, did he? 38 00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:14,460 Mind you, he's got the right sort of hairstyle for it. 39 00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,440 I'm getting a little tired of your vulgar jokes. 40 00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:20,940 All I'm saying is that I do not intend sitting in that bath looking in that 41 00:02:20,940 --> 00:02:24,920 ghastly lot. He's fixed the shower and he's done all the plumbing himself. 42 00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:26,840 Yeah, that's obvious. It's dripping. 43 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:28,400 Look, 44 00:02:28,620 --> 00:02:30,260 mate, all showers drip. 45 00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:34,200 Well, if that's so, mate, you've put it in the wrong place then, haven't you, 46 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:35,900 eh? That's a little ridiculous there. 47 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:40,140 I'm not sitting naked in the bath there with that cold thing dripping on 48 00:02:40,140 --> 00:02:41,140 goodness knows what. 49 00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:47,760 Oh, love, I think it's very nice. Look, love, you finish up, and I'll go and get 50 00:02:47,760 --> 00:02:50,560 the things to clean it all up. Look, mate, I've been all morning throttling 51 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,800 myself by guts out trying to get this finished. Now, if you're going to sit in 52 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:56,860 the bath with that dripping on your goodness knows what, do you want to sit 53 00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,780 this end, then? I do not intend placing my bottom on the plug. 54 00:03:00,020 --> 00:03:02,100 No, I forgot that would affect your operation, wouldn't it? 55 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,280 Nothing to do with that. 56 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,580 Because a shocking draft comes up through the overflow pipe. Oh, that's 57 00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:12,720 Well, what are you suggesting, mate? What do you mean? 58 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,000 I suppose we'll have to all sit on the edge here and paddle, eh? 59 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:20,720 That's all sticky. 60 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,920 Well, of course it's sticky. It's the lid of the glue. 61 00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:26,080 Well, why don't you leave it lying around for you, stupid idiot? 62 00:03:26,340 --> 00:03:29,320 Oh, don't be so damn childish. Look, I've had to stick this up, haven't I? 63 00:03:29,320 --> 00:03:31,760 stick that first, you see, before you put the panels up. 64 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:35,580 My best pet of pets. It'll never come off. It comes off with petrol. Well, it 65 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:36,399 better add. 66 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:38,860 Look, just let me stick these panels up and I'll get it off for you. 67 00:03:39,980 --> 00:03:43,400 You'll be ours doing that, mate. You've got to fit it all round that mix of tat. 68 00:03:43,740 --> 00:03:47,400 Oh, no, I won't, mate. They're already prepared. They're already cut to fit. 69 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,920 I can imagine what sort of mess that's going to look. Yeah, well, see, Olive, 70 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:52,200 here's a panel. Yes, 71 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:54,540 I'll use this contact glue. 72 00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:57,920 When you put two bits together like that, mate, that's it. You can't get 73 00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:58,920 apart. Yeah. 74 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:00,200 Right. 75 00:04:00,220 --> 00:04:01,440 Not that one, Olive. No. 76 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:02,749 That one. 77 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:05,630 And what's the other one? The one with the big cutout with the left -hand one. 78 00:04:06,770 --> 00:04:07,850 It's got to go around here, see? 79 00:04:08,590 --> 00:04:09,590 Now, we'll soon see. 80 00:04:09,630 --> 00:04:12,310 It's got to be right or wrong. Yeah, Danny, it's the left -hand one. That's 81 00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:15,630 darling. Well, the cutout's too big for a star. Is it? Is it? Well, we'll soon 82 00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,370 see then, shall we? All right. We'll soon see. All right. 83 00:04:19,310 --> 00:04:20,269 How's that then? 84 00:04:20,269 --> 00:04:21,410 Oh, I'm going to tell you, mate. 85 00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:23,770 I've never come up with a million years, mate. 86 00:04:25,430 --> 00:04:26,430 Look at that. 87 00:04:26,630 --> 00:04:27,630 That's the other star. 88 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:32,699 What's going on there? 89 00:04:32,700 --> 00:04:35,100 It would appear that you've cut it too short. 90 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:41,780 No, I didn't cut it too short, because I mentioned... You big fat lump, you gave 91 00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:42,780 me the wrong bit! 92 00:04:42,840 --> 00:04:46,420 No, I didn't. You said the left -hand bit, and that was on the left hand. 93 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,380 Not that left -hand bit, this left -hand bit. 94 00:04:50,580 --> 00:04:52,180 I might not get it on. 95 00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:02,580 Professional. 96 00:05:03,420 --> 00:05:04,480 Oh, belt up. 97 00:05:04,860 --> 00:05:06,480 It's cost five bob a square foot. 98 00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:10,420 Well, I don't know what you're laughing at, mate, because you were playing for 99 00:05:10,420 --> 00:05:11,420 half of it. 100 00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:14,540 Well, why don't you watch what you're doing? 101 00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:16,460 I bet the other bit doesn't fit either. 102 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:18,940 Of course it does. It must do. I'll introduce the other bit then. Yeah, all 103 00:05:18,940 --> 00:05:19,940 right. 104 00:05:20,540 --> 00:05:21,740 Oh, oh, Dan. 105 00:05:22,100 --> 00:05:23,240 They're stuck together. 106 00:05:25,220 --> 00:05:27,540 You stupid... What have you done that for? 107 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,540 mate. You just get those apart. 108 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,480 Get them apart? You must be joking, mate. 109 00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:40,420 Blimey, you need an elephant to pull these apart. 110 00:05:40,820 --> 00:05:42,600 Oi. On it. Get over there. 111 00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,300 Come on. Come on, girls. Now, pull. 112 00:05:45,660 --> 00:05:46,900 Pull. Oh. 113 00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,520 Oh, that's marvellous, isn't it? 114 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,500 Marvellous. Now, you're mucked up another bit now. 115 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,060 Well, I... What's the matter? 116 00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:55,900 I sent you to the water. 117 00:05:57,140 --> 00:06:00,120 But when you went around your face, I went up against you. Well, how did I 118 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:00,919 it was wet? 119 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:03,620 That's what I keep trying to tell you. It doesn't have to be wet. It has to be 120 00:06:03,620 --> 00:06:04,720 dry. You were... 121 00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:06,639 That's why you're stuck. 122 00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,280 Come, get away, mate. Well, don't pull it out of your trousers. 123 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:10,840 Oh, it can't be set that hard. 124 00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,040 Oh, well, please, Joe. 125 00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,400 You've ruined my trousers! 126 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,240 With that glue, mate, you're lucky that's all it has ruined. 127 00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:23,680 I think something might have soaked through. 128 00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:26,140 I tell you, get it off with petrol. 129 00:06:26,460 --> 00:06:29,380 If a gall jack don't like a fag while you're doing this, you'll blow yourself 130 00:06:29,380 --> 00:06:30,380 fist. 131 00:06:35,150 --> 00:06:36,670 I'll have to go out and buy some more plastic now. 132 00:06:36,990 --> 00:06:39,930 I ain't got time to finish off the job anyway. This damn thing dripping all 133 00:06:39,930 --> 00:06:40,789 me. 134 00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:43,630 I know where it's coming from. I'll tighten up that nut at the top of the 135 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:46,350 Give us that board to stand on. Oh, yeah. And hand us up this banner, will 136 00:06:46,430 --> 00:06:47,430 Yeah. 137 00:06:47,650 --> 00:06:49,870 And come up and give us a hand, will you? Yeah, all right. Right. 138 00:06:50,350 --> 00:06:51,229 Yeah, I'll stand. 139 00:06:51,230 --> 00:06:52,230 Don't stand on the board. 140 00:07:12,310 --> 00:07:14,210 What's he up to now? Come on. 141 00:07:16,210 --> 00:07:17,210 What's happened? 142 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:18,770 Did you have an accident? 143 00:07:20,950 --> 00:07:23,170 No. We're having a bath together. 144 00:07:26,230 --> 00:07:27,390 Are you all right, love? 145 00:07:27,630 --> 00:07:29,470 Oh, it was awful. 146 00:07:29,790 --> 00:07:31,770 Dad fell right on top of me. 147 00:07:32,210 --> 00:07:35,090 Well, it could have been worse. You might have fallen on top of him. 148 00:07:41,900 --> 00:07:43,160 Watch it, mum. Watch it. Now, careful now. 149 00:07:44,180 --> 00:07:47,720 Oh, blimey, I don't know what hurts most. 150 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:49,620 My arm or my toe. 151 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:54,420 Oh, love, it's all swollen up. Yeah. I think it's twisted. 152 00:07:55,060 --> 00:07:57,100 Well, if it's twisted, it's probably broken. 153 00:07:57,320 --> 00:08:00,580 Oh, no, no, it can't be. 154 00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:03,620 Oh, well, love, there's only one way to find out. Give us your other one. 155 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,380 That's it. Let's have a look what the other toe looks like. 156 00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:07,840 Eh? Go look. 157 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:09,480 See, it don't look much different to me. 158 00:08:09,760 --> 00:08:12,360 Oh, I can't see without me reading glove, this love. 159 00:08:13,400 --> 00:08:14,400 Just a minute. 160 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:15,720 Oi. 161 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:17,560 Arthur. Here. 162 00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:21,860 Can you... Can you see any difference? 163 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,080 I am trying to eat my lunch. 164 00:08:24,340 --> 00:08:26,520 Do you mind putting those things away? Oh, oh, oh. 165 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:30,100 Here you are, love. Never mind. Perhaps the pain will go away. 166 00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,419 These hot compresses will do it good. 167 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:39,539 I've had a look, Arthur, and I'm covered in bruises. Here, look at my knee. 168 00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:44,480 I am trying to finish my lats. Will you kindly put that thing down? Oh, well, 169 00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:47,640 could you have a look here? Because I've got a bruise on, and I think it's going 170 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:50,360 all black. I do not wish to see. 171 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,020 Go on, Arthur. You've had my toes in her noo. Go on for the jackpot. 172 00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:01,420 Hello, Olly. Stand ready. We'll be getting to the depot. Hello, Missy B. 173 00:09:01,860 --> 00:09:03,480 What are you doing at Stan's foot? 174 00:09:04,620 --> 00:09:05,900 She's painting me toenails. 175 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:08,360 What do you think she's doing, you idiot? I've hurt myself. 176 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:11,360 Well, how did you do that? Well, it happened in the bath. 177 00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:12,880 He fell on top of Olive. 178 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,000 And I only left him for a minute or two. 179 00:09:17,380 --> 00:09:20,780 Aren't your little boy and girl a little bit too old to be having their bath 180 00:09:20,780 --> 00:09:25,560 together? Oh, stop it, honey, mate, will you? I was decorating the bathroom. I 181 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:27,540 fell down. Damn, I killed myself, I tell you that. 182 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,040 I'll be off for work for weeks. 183 00:09:29,340 --> 00:09:32,100 Oh, blimey, that's bad. You know our company. You won't get nothing off them. 184 00:09:32,490 --> 00:09:35,530 You'll only get your sickness benefit four quid a week. Oh, I can't manage on 185 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:36,529 that. 186 00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:38,290 Well, Arthur will have to fork out a bit more. 187 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:39,790 Don't talk wit. 188 00:09:39,810 --> 00:09:41,370 I can't give more than I'm giving now. 189 00:09:41,690 --> 00:09:43,570 You'll have to get yourself to work somehow, mate. 190 00:09:43,870 --> 00:09:46,730 Oh, don't be stupid. How can I drive a bus with one arm and one leg? 191 00:09:47,010 --> 00:09:48,790 Well, you drive no one and notice a difference. 192 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:53,080 I couldn't touch the pedal with that toe. 193 00:09:53,300 --> 00:09:55,980 There, my love, I'm going to put another hot compress on because my mother 194 00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:59,200 always said if you've got a swollen toe, there's only one thing to do. 195 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:02,960 It's to get a nice hot compress on it. Oh, blimey, that's hot. Here. 196 00:10:03,460 --> 00:10:05,040 There you are, love, nanny. 197 00:10:05,700 --> 00:10:10,180 Oh, you great big baby. Get that thing off. Let's have a look. 198 00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:11,380 Come here, come here. 199 00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:13,340 Another cup of tea, Arthur? 200 00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:14,820 Yeah, thank you. 201 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:18,840 I can't see anything wrong with that, can you, Jack? No, it looks all right to 202 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,840 me, Max. 203 00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:26,260 Oh, look, it's all black under the nail. 204 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:28,700 When did you last have a bath? 205 00:10:29,740 --> 00:10:30,740 That'd be funny. 206 00:10:31,420 --> 00:10:35,120 I'll put another hot compress on, my love. Here's your tea, love. Thank you. 207 00:10:35,660 --> 00:10:37,260 Here, where's all the hot water? 208 00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,720 I used to trot off off of Pete. 209 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,680 But I was using that to do Dan's towel. 210 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,260 You stupid, great idiot. Are you trying to poison me? 211 00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:54,250 Listen, mate. 212 00:10:56,170 --> 00:11:00,190 Oh, don't, that's my shoulder. I thought it tasted a bit strong. 213 00:11:00,550 --> 00:11:02,230 I think I'm about to be ill. 214 00:11:03,630 --> 00:11:06,550 Yes, mate, don't be such a child. It's never gone my toes and hurt you. 215 00:11:06,770 --> 00:11:09,570 Oh, no? Well, it's curdled and milked, mate. Oh, no, that's all right. 216 00:11:10,230 --> 00:11:13,470 That's just the cream. It always does that, love. Yeah, I don't want to worry 217 00:11:13,470 --> 00:11:16,830 you, Arthur, but there's some very funny -shaped tea leaves floating about in 218 00:11:16,830 --> 00:11:17,709 here. 219 00:11:17,710 --> 00:11:19,890 It can't be tea leaves. We use tea bags. 220 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,040 I don't know what you're all laughing about. You seem to have a very straight 221 00:11:24,040 --> 00:11:25,040 set of humour to me. 222 00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:27,080 Don't be such a baby. 223 00:11:27,420 --> 00:11:29,360 Oh, well, he has been upset, love. 224 00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:33,440 Upset? The only thing he's upset about is because he's got a fork out because I 225 00:11:33,440 --> 00:11:34,440 can't go to work. 226 00:11:34,580 --> 00:11:36,440 Well, your company should make up your wages. 227 00:11:36,860 --> 00:11:38,580 Not for something that happens in the home. 228 00:11:39,140 --> 00:11:41,540 If you were going to have an accident, mate, you should have had it at work. 229 00:11:41,780 --> 00:11:42,900 Yes, he's quite right there. 230 00:11:43,300 --> 00:11:46,740 Here, remember when Nobby fell down a canteen stairs? 231 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,520 He got six weeks off with full pay. 232 00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:53,100 Yeah, so what? I haven't fallen down the canteen stairs, have I? All right. You 233 00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:56,480 get down to the depot, climb to the top of the canteen stairs, and I guarantee 234 00:11:56,480 --> 00:11:57,680 you'll have a very nasty fall. 235 00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:00,319 How do you know? 236 00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:01,480 Because I shall be right behind you. 237 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:04,460 Here, hang on a minute. 238 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:07,500 Will you give me an hard push from me, mate? 239 00:12:08,020 --> 00:12:09,520 I think I'm feeling better already. 240 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:12,460 I shall now be able to return to work with an easy mind. 241 00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:14,880 Here. 242 00:12:15,900 --> 00:12:17,280 I've just been thinking about that. 243 00:12:17,690 --> 00:12:20,830 That bushing down the stairs, that'll hurt, won't it? No, Nobby didn't feel a 244 00:12:20,830 --> 00:12:22,970 thing. Oh, did he? No, well, not till he came round. 245 00:12:25,170 --> 00:12:29,650 I mean, what's he doing? He can't be all this time changing. 246 00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,390 Well, he is in pain, love. 247 00:12:31,630 --> 00:12:33,070 I think he's coming down now. 248 00:12:38,050 --> 00:12:39,170 You haven't changed. 249 00:12:39,510 --> 00:12:41,270 What you been doing for the last ten minutes? 250 00:12:41,730 --> 00:12:42,730 Coming downstairs. 251 00:12:43,950 --> 00:12:45,990 It's no good. I can't change that. 252 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,360 I can't get my clothes on. 253 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,860 Look, mate, you've got to get changed and get down to the depot and sign on if 254 00:12:50,860 --> 00:12:53,520 you're going to have an accident at work. Jack, it's absolutely impossible, 255 00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:57,260 mate. I can't change. I can't get my trousers off. Yeah, well, if you can't, 256 00:12:57,260 --> 00:13:00,380 will. Come on. Go on, sit on the table there. Here you are. 257 00:13:00,700 --> 00:13:01,479 Come on. 258 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,600 Oh, oh, oh, oh! 259 00:13:02,820 --> 00:13:05,280 What's the matter? I'm not touching you. Well, I'm on yesterday, aren't I, 260 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:07,140 sonny? Get rid of that. Go on. 261 00:13:08,699 --> 00:13:10,320 Come on, quick, we haven't got much time left. 262 00:13:11,340 --> 00:13:13,160 Lie back, will you? 263 00:13:13,420 --> 00:13:14,420 Don't pull it from there! 264 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,600 It'd be much easier if you lied back. 265 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,600 Ian, this reminds me of when he was little and I used to have to pull his 266 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,600 rompers off. 267 00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:26,260 Well, that was when he had a different sort of accident, wasn't it? 268 00:13:27,300 --> 00:13:29,640 Don't pull it from the bottom! I'm telling you, Clots! 269 00:13:30,820 --> 00:13:32,300 Come on, Olive, get round here. 270 00:13:32,740 --> 00:13:34,000 Breathe them over his feet. 271 00:13:35,300 --> 00:13:40,260 Stop it, you idiot! You're pulling me pants up at the same time! 272 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:46,960 Well, we've still got them. Come on, Olive, shut them on. 273 00:13:47,420 --> 00:13:52,180 Hurry up. I'll hold his legs up. Come on. 274 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,730 You put him on back to front. 275 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,730 He is a boy, you know. 276 00:14:15,490 --> 00:14:17,570 But he doesn't seem to know what goes where. 277 00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:20,390 Well, being married to Arthur, what do you think? 278 00:14:21,430 --> 00:14:22,690 You're drafting, you! 279 00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,190 Yeah, this reminds me of when we laid out my Uncle Willie. 280 00:14:41,790 --> 00:14:42,790 Do you mind? 281 00:14:42,930 --> 00:14:44,030 Yeah, well, not quite. 282 00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:45,950 You're a lot stiffer than what he was. 283 00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:50,450 Yeah, I don't like you being disrespectful to your Uncle Willie. Oh, 284 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:51,449 Mrs B, no. 285 00:14:51,450 --> 00:14:54,310 As a matter of fact, when we said goodbye to him, he looked a lot better 286 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:58,410 Stan. Shut up and dress me, will you? Yeah, well, Uncle Willie was a lot 287 00:14:58,410 --> 00:15:00,150 because he didn't keep bobbing up. Now, get back here. 288 00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,670 Put your bottom up. One, two, three, four. 289 00:15:04,590 --> 00:15:05,590 That's it, there you go. 290 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:33,320 You stupid dick! 291 00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,720 You got me in the sleeve! 292 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,460 Come on, get it off. Pull it off. Pull it. 293 00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:46,200 Mr. Bean, give us your shoes. Quick, come on. We haven't got much time. We'll 294 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:47,560 late. Jack, Jack, Jack. 295 00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:51,680 You'll never get that shoe on with a bandage that big, I tell you. Of course 296 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:52,680 will. Oh! 297 00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:55,540 No, it's absolutely right, mate. 298 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,700 Mate, I need a pair of shoes five times the size I used because of that thing. 299 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,840 Well, that's marvellous, isn't it? When are we going to get a pair of shoes size 300 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:04,840 12? 301 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:06,800 Olive, lend us your pair of shoes. 302 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,619 Everything's fixed, mate. 303 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:20,280 Your accident has been arranged. 304 00:16:20,660 --> 00:16:21,660 Joe's done the stairs. 305 00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:24,660 Thank God for that. I feel the right idiot walking about in these plimsolls. 306 00:16:24,860 --> 00:16:26,740 Yeah, well, don't worry about that. Come on, sign on. You've got to make it 307 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:27,740 official. Right. 308 00:16:28,220 --> 00:16:30,620 Oh! Oh, no, I can't. It hurts. 309 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,020 It can't. You haven't had your accident, yeah? 310 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,960 Well, I can't sign on, Jack. Oh, blimey, I'll do it for you. Oh, but... No, no, 311 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:38,839 no, it's just a good start. 312 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:41,840 But, uh, just a minute. I've got a little problem here about the, um... 313 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:45,680 You've got a new feet. 314 00:16:46,859 --> 00:16:47,859 My plimsolls. 315 00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:52,260 Plimsolls? Yeah. You can't drive in plimsolls. Oh, don't talk jarts. All the 316 00:16:52,260 --> 00:16:54,540 best drivers do that. I mean, it gives you more control. 317 00:16:55,220 --> 00:16:56,220 Yeah, yeah. 318 00:16:56,500 --> 00:17:00,720 That Moss fella, the racing driver, he always drove in his plimsolls. 319 00:17:01,380 --> 00:17:04,420 Sterling Moss wasn't driving the number 11 bus at the Cemetery Gates. 320 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:08,839 There's no protection. Look, you catch that on the clutch or the brake, it'll 321 00:17:08,839 --> 00:17:09,839 right through. Oh! 322 00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:13,920 Don't put it on, butler, come on. 323 00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:15,460 Don't put it on, mate. 324 00:17:15,849 --> 00:17:16,849 You signed on, have you? 325 00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:19,210 Yeah, I was just going to sign on. Go on, sign on then. 326 00:17:19,550 --> 00:17:26,450 You don't write with your left hand. 327 00:17:26,849 --> 00:17:29,210 No, he's what they call ambidextrous. 328 00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:32,050 Yes, I've had my doubts about him for a long time. 329 00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:36,750 Sign on then. Yeah, I'm just going to sign on. Well, sign on. Yeah, yeah. 330 00:17:36,990 --> 00:17:37,990 Go on then. 331 00:17:53,230 --> 00:17:54,370 What did you put down there? 332 00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:57,010 That's my name. 333 00:17:58,490 --> 00:17:59,710 What language is it in then? 334 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:02,050 Pakistani or Arabic? 335 00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,610 You haven't changed your name to the Mohammed Butler, have you? 336 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:09,030 I've signed a book, haven't I? What more do you want? Yeah, and he's signed on 337 00:18:09,030 --> 00:18:11,670 early. Yes, I'm glad about that because I've got a little bit of trouble with 338 00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:14,630 the buses and I want you to drive the early one out in five minutes' time. All 339 00:18:14,630 --> 00:18:16,170 right? No, I can't, I can't. 340 00:18:16,770 --> 00:18:19,770 Now, listen, Buckley, you've signed on, you're on duty. Now, you take that early 341 00:18:19,770 --> 00:18:21,010 bus out in five minutes' time. 342 00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:24,110 No, I can't, I can't. Look, I'll take the one out after, but I can't take that 343 00:18:24,110 --> 00:18:25,110 one out. 344 00:18:25,290 --> 00:18:29,470 Give me one reason why you can't take that bus out, go on. Yeah, well, um... 345 00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:32,630 Because you've got your special racing driver shoes on. 346 00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:35,650 You should get there in record time. 347 00:18:36,310 --> 00:18:38,750 In fact, with a bit of luck, you might even get there on time this time. 348 00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:40,650 Come on, sign that. 349 00:18:42,490 --> 00:18:43,530 But I can't, I tell you. 350 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,160 Now, I don't want no arguments. 351 00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:47,760 Come on, take that out. No arguments about it, right? 352 00:18:50,020 --> 00:18:51,020 What's up with him? 353 00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:55,020 Here, you assaulted him. Now, that is a very serious matter. Now, don't start 354 00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:58,020 that. Don't come the old acid with me, mate. I'm not having none of that. I've 355 00:18:58,020 --> 00:18:59,020 been in the game too long for that. 356 00:18:59,260 --> 00:19:00,760 All I did was poke him a little bit like that. 357 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:04,040 Now, could that possibly hurt him? Did that hurt you? It didn't hurt you, did 358 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:04,899 it? 359 00:19:04,900 --> 00:19:07,940 Oh, no. All right, then. Because if you want to make an issue of it, I'll take 360 00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,180 you up to see the doctor and give you an examination, if you like, to see if 361 00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:11,099 I've broken his shoulder. 362 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,100 No! No! 363 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,780 Is that hers, isn't it? No, no! 364 00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:16,500 All right, well, don't shout then. No! You pig. 365 00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,800 All right, get that bus out and check it out. 366 00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:20,060 Yes, sir. 367 00:19:21,380 --> 00:19:22,380 That's done it now. 368 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:24,500 I ain't got no time to have an accident. 369 00:19:24,780 --> 00:19:25,880 Oh, don't worry. Here's Joe. 370 00:19:26,100 --> 00:19:26,719 Of course. 371 00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:27,720 Thought he was never going to go. 372 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,000 Everything's ready, Stan. 373 00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:32,400 Now, look, all you've got to do is put your foot on it and it'll go right 374 00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,580 through. You're always worrying me. Supposing somebody else puts their foot 375 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:36,499 it before I do? 376 00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:39,700 I've given the lads the tip -off. Now, don't worry. No -one will go up them 377 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,400 steps in the next few minutes, OK? 378 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,460 OK. There you are. I saved it all for you, isn't it? Nice, yeah. 379 00:19:45,700 --> 00:19:46,679 Come on. 380 00:19:46,680 --> 00:19:47,680 Oh! 381 00:19:48,580 --> 00:19:49,580 Don't limp now! 382 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:50,920 After! 383 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:53,320 Innocent Jack, I want to know one thing. 384 00:19:53,720 --> 00:19:57,500 Um... What have they done to the stick? Oh, they've taken out the side bolts. 385 00:19:58,260 --> 00:19:59,260 What's holding it up then? 386 00:19:59,340 --> 00:20:00,340 A couple of matchsticks. 387 00:20:01,260 --> 00:20:04,700 What? I'll go through with a little of a thumb. No, no, you won't. Tell you 388 00:20:04,700 --> 00:20:06,740 what, they've put a bucket with a sponge just below it. 389 00:20:07,580 --> 00:20:08,580 Oh, what, to break before? 390 00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:09,800 No, to mop up the blood. 391 00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,320 No, I'm only kidding, mate. Go on, then, get up there. 392 00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:16,020 Do us a favour, which one is it? 393 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:18,400 Oh, I can't tell you that. It'll make it look more natural. 394 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:29,250 I can't do it. Listen, mate, you've got to do it. Go on, get up there and sooner 395 00:20:29,250 --> 00:20:30,410 or later you'll drop through. 396 00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:33,590 You sound like an hangman. 397 00:20:33,990 --> 00:20:34,990 Oh, go on, hurry up. 398 00:20:35,650 --> 00:20:36,589 Wait a minute, brother. 399 00:20:36,590 --> 00:20:37,590 Just a minute. 400 00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:41,290 Isn't it marvellous, eh? What? I've got an urgent report here for traffic 401 00:20:41,290 --> 00:20:44,310 control and nobody in the depot has taken upstairs for me. Now, I've asked 402 00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:47,130 upstairs to come down. They've not made a plumbing move so far. I'll take it. 403 00:20:47,190 --> 00:20:47,949 He'll take it. 404 00:20:47,950 --> 00:20:50,630 No, no, I'm going to take it, mate. I'm going to give them a bit of my mind up 405 00:20:50,630 --> 00:20:54,130 there. They must think I'm a bloomin' office boy. No, no, no. I'll take it. 406 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,330 no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, 407 00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:56,190 no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, 408 00:20:56,190 --> 00:20:56,270 no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, 409 00:20:56,270 --> 00:20:56,809 no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. 410 00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:57,810 No, no, no. 411 00:20:58,230 --> 00:20:58,749 I'll take it. 412 00:20:58,750 --> 00:20:59,750 No, 413 00:21:00,930 --> 00:21:01,369 no, no. 414 00:21:01,370 --> 00:21:04,930 I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, no, no. 415 00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:06,250 I'll take it. 416 00:21:06,370 --> 00:21:07,370 No, no, 417 00:21:07,970 --> 00:21:11,510 no. I'll take it. No, no, no. I'll take it. No, 418 00:21:15,170 --> 00:21:16,170 no 419 00:21:19,500 --> 00:21:20,880 Well, you two had better come as witnesses. 420 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,320 I shall need you as evidence. 421 00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:30,340 Oh, isn't that marvellous, eh? 422 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,380 He's making fun of me, look. 423 00:21:32,640 --> 00:21:34,400 He's mocking me just because I'm limping. 424 00:21:34,900 --> 00:21:37,700 Don't worry, Buckley, you'll get your comeuppance one of these days. You'll 425 00:21:37,700 --> 00:21:39,140 an accident like this as well, don't worry. 426 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:40,679 Oh, come on. 427 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:41,680 Oh, 428 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:48,300 come on, mate. I saw what happened to De Winter. 429 00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:49,910 You must have hurt your foot. 430 00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:53,270 Oh, now then, let me get this boot off. 431 00:21:53,630 --> 00:21:55,010 Oh, you poor thing. 432 00:21:57,290 --> 00:22:01,850 Now then, where does it hurt? Oh, it's the ankle, nurse. It's the ankle gone. 433 00:22:02,090 --> 00:22:03,090 Does this hurt? 434 00:22:03,510 --> 00:22:04,510 Yes, it does. 435 00:22:05,030 --> 00:22:06,630 I'm afraid he's broken his toe. 436 00:22:06,930 --> 00:22:09,410 Oh, you'll be off for a long time with this, Inspector. 437 00:22:09,790 --> 00:22:10,649 Oh, no. 438 00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:14,410 Oh, thank God I did it while I was at work anyway. 439 00:22:15,030 --> 00:22:16,750 At least I shall be on full pay. 440 00:22:18,460 --> 00:22:22,680 Here. And with you two as witnesses, I might even get a bit of compensation as 441 00:22:22,680 --> 00:22:25,400 well. So perhaps it's not so bad after all. Here. 442 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,160 I've got an accident form here. 443 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:28,640 Here. 444 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,520 You two sign that and give it to the nurse and put it in afterwards, right? 445 00:22:32,980 --> 00:22:35,960 God knows I could do with a couple of weeks off holiday at home with full pay. 446 00:22:36,900 --> 00:22:39,420 But I'll see you two out on that bus before I do go home. 447 00:22:40,200 --> 00:22:41,200 Go on, take it out. 448 00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,440 Yeah. 449 00:22:42,540 --> 00:22:44,120 Well, go on then, take it out then. 450 00:22:49,460 --> 00:22:52,500 Um, Blakey, look, mind you, in a minute, I've got to tell you something. 451 00:22:53,060 --> 00:22:54,320 I can't take that bus out. 452 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,780 Oh, don't start that again, but... No, no, honestly, I can't do it. See, I had 453 00:22:57,780 --> 00:22:58,559 an accident. 454 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:02,440 I've done my arm in, my shoulder up here, and I broke my toe. I did it at 455 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:04,280 this morning, and I can't drive the bus. 456 00:23:04,820 --> 00:23:06,120 Well, why didn't you report sick then? 457 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,380 Well, I thought I might be able to drive it, see? 458 00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:12,740 But, you know, it's all swelling up and getting worse, and it's no good. I'll 459 00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:13,519 have to go home. 460 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,040 Oh, you'll have to sign another form then. 461 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,840 Oh. Oh, I see. I'll get some accident pay, eh? 462 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,240 No, that's how we can stop your wages forthwith. 463 00:23:23,020 --> 00:23:24,800 There's one thing you want to remember, butler. 464 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:27,580 If you must have an accident, have it at work. 465 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:31,260 Oh, you can go home now.