1 00:00:38,730 --> 00:00:41,230 Here you are, love. Here's your breakfast. So, Mum. 2 00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:43,450 Here. Have you got their card? 3 00:00:43,670 --> 00:00:48,870 Yes, and I've put to Arthur and Olive on their 10th wedding anniversary with our 4 00:00:48,870 --> 00:00:52,990 fondest love. Oh, that's nice, nice. I like that. Yes, and I've also put 5 00:00:52,990 --> 00:00:56,590 them many, many more years of married life. 6 00:00:57,530 --> 00:00:59,110 Trust you to put the markers on it. 7 00:01:00,970 --> 00:01:03,350 Oh, shh. She's coming down. 8 00:01:04,209 --> 00:01:06,970 Morning, Mum. Morning, Dad. Morning, love. 9 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:08,920 Happy anniversary. 10 00:01:09,900 --> 00:01:12,340 Happy anniversary, love. Oh, thank you. 11 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,660 Oh, it's lovely. 12 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:22,120 When I think Arthur and Olive married ten years, I feel I want to cry. 13 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,160 Blimey, it makes you cry. How do you think Arthur feels? 14 00:01:27,540 --> 00:01:32,460 It's only his joke, love. Look, here's one that came with the postman. 15 00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:34,220 Oh, that must be from Arthur. 16 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:40,740 It's from Aunt Maud. Oh. 17 00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,800 Oh, she's sending us a present. 18 00:01:43,060 --> 00:01:44,060 Oh, that's nice. 19 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:48,560 She says, I'm sending it by British Rail and I hope it will arrive in time for 20 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:49,560 your 10th anniversary. 21 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,740 Blimey, if you're coming by the British Rail, you won't get it for your golden 22 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:53,740 wedding. 23 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,340 Is that the only card the postman brought? 24 00:01:58,220 --> 00:01:59,800 Look, Jack, let's face it. 25 00:02:00,100 --> 00:02:03,840 He's forgotten, hasn't he? Arthur's forgotten it. Oh, of course he hasn't. 26 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,280 could he forget being married to Ollie for 10 years? 27 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,160 Yeah, you've got a point there. 28 00:02:10,979 --> 00:02:12,840 Look, did he mention anything? 29 00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:15,760 No, but he did smile at me this morning. 30 00:02:16,060 --> 00:02:17,460 That proves that he's forgotten it. 31 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:19,920 Oh, don't be wicked. 32 00:02:20,500 --> 00:02:25,100 Oh, here he is. He's coming now. Hide the cards. Now, we'll soon find out. I 33 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,140 think we'll soon find out whether he's forgotten it or not. All right. 34 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:31,840 Morning, Mum. Morning. Good morning. 35 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:33,480 What's for breakfast? 36 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:35,900 Sausages and mushrooms in the pan, love. Thank you. 37 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:04,280 Do you know what day it is? 38 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:05,800 Aye. 39 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:07,280 Tuesday, innit? 40 00:03:08,300 --> 00:03:09,420 Don't you remember anything? 41 00:03:10,620 --> 00:03:11,620 Oh, yeah. 42 00:03:12,340 --> 00:03:14,540 Yeah, the dustman come today. Do you want me to put the pin out? 43 00:03:16,860 --> 00:03:23,140 What did I tell you? What did I tell you? Oh, by the way, 44 00:03:23,260 --> 00:03:25,100 happy anniversary, sunshine. 45 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,280 Oh! Oh, that you did remember! 46 00:03:29,620 --> 00:03:30,620 Oh, 47 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,800 isn't that sweet? 48 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,600 He wanted the enjoyment of giving it to you himself. 49 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:37,520 He wanted the enjoyment of saving a stamp. 50 00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,340 Oh, you shut up. 51 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,440 Oh, no, listen, Mum, listen, it's lovely. 52 00:03:42,140 --> 00:03:46,380 Another year we've been together, dear. A year of perfect bliss. 53 00:03:46,780 --> 00:03:50,700 And on this day... I'd like to say I love you with a kiss. 54 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,780 How do you know it was written? Have you seen it before? 55 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,060 Yeah, and so have you. 56 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,060 Blimey, that's the one he gave you last year. 57 00:03:59,420 --> 00:04:00,700 Arthur, is it? 58 00:04:01,580 --> 00:04:03,940 I kept that card for sentimental reasons. 59 00:04:04,780 --> 00:04:07,700 Represents quite a lot to me. Yeah. The price of a card. 60 00:04:08,540 --> 00:04:11,200 Well, it's the thought that counts. 61 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,739 Who's that? 62 00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:14,740 Oh, I'll get it. 63 00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:20,120 Stan, you shouldn't let your sister go to the door in her dressing gown. 64 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:22,200 There might be that man selling brushes. 65 00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:24,100 Well, she'll frighten him away, won't she? 66 00:04:25,820 --> 00:04:29,540 What is it? Come on. 67 00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:36,150 It's a dog! She sent us a dog! 68 00:04:36,490 --> 00:04:38,670 What'd she want to send us a dog for? 69 00:04:38,990 --> 00:04:41,610 Oh, look, she loves me already. 70 00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:44,510 That she happens to be an E. 71 00:04:46,070 --> 00:04:47,870 How do you know? There's something on the box. 72 00:04:51,330 --> 00:04:52,890 There's something on the dog. 73 00:04:56,190 --> 00:04:58,110 Here's a lead and a bone. 74 00:04:58,550 --> 00:04:59,529 Oh, yes. 75 00:04:59,530 --> 00:05:04,110 And here's a... Here's a note. It says, to Olive and Arthur on their 76 00:05:04,110 --> 00:05:09,810 anniversary, I'm sure you'll love this little pet and he will take the place of 77 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,470 the little one you've never had. 78 00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:12,790 Oh. 79 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:18,770 Oh. It'll give me something to love. It brings out the mother in me. 80 00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,950 Oh, like adopting a baby. 81 00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:23,370 He wants to say hello to his daddy. 82 00:05:23,750 --> 00:05:24,870 I am not his daddy. 83 00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:26,690 Ah! 84 00:05:29,969 --> 00:05:34,050 germs all over him. You must have a cold. I have not got a cold. Ollie, take 85 00:05:34,050 --> 00:05:37,350 that box out in the yard. It don't look too hygienic. Oh, all right. 86 00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,410 Here, hold Scruffy a minute. Hey. 87 00:05:40,530 --> 00:05:41,530 Well, don't be long. 88 00:05:41,890 --> 00:05:42,769 Come here. 89 00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:43,770 Come here. Give me. 90 00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:53,170 Hello, my little fellow. 91 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,500 No, I haven't got my hanky. I'll have to go upstairs. 92 00:06:00,540 --> 00:06:03,060 Here. Keep an eye on him, Sam, will you? 93 00:06:03,360 --> 00:06:04,360 All right. 94 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:07,560 Here. 95 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,500 Jack's sister's got a poodle. 96 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:11,639 Oh, yeah? 97 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:14,240 Yeah. She thinks we have to have all special sorts of food. 98 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:18,920 Oh, well, we don't have to worry, because Olive's going to cook for it. 99 00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:22,380 Oh, blimey, don't let her do that. We'll have the RSPCA after us. 100 00:06:29,130 --> 00:06:30,870 I told you to watch that, dog. I was. 101 00:06:31,110 --> 00:06:32,610 I was watching him eat your breakfast. 102 00:06:33,750 --> 00:06:35,630 He's got through all five sausages. 103 00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:38,950 Yeah. Well, I may enjoy them, but I don't like them at all. 104 00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:41,410 Oh, poor little dog. 105 00:06:41,910 --> 00:06:43,410 Here, I hope he's all right. 106 00:06:44,030 --> 00:06:46,150 Them sausages wasn't too fresh. 107 00:06:50,650 --> 00:06:56,710 Oh, poor little thing. I hope he doesn't hurt your little tum -tum. 108 00:06:57,200 --> 00:07:01,220 What about his tum -tum? What about my tum -tum? Oh, you'll be all right, but 109 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:03,040 these dogs will have to have special food. 110 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:04,320 They're like babies. 111 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:07,760 Oh, yes, Stan. When you're off duty, could you pop in the pet shop and see if 112 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,060 they've got any special dog food? 113 00:07:09,540 --> 00:07:13,000 Mum's right. Poodles are delicate. They are a bit like babies. Yeah, all right 114 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,000 then, darling. I'll get that for you. 115 00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:19,580 Yeah, and looking at Arthur's jacket, I'd better get your little baby some 116 00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:20,920 nappies. Aye. 117 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:22,720 Where? 118 00:07:23,500 --> 00:07:24,880 Where's the little peri -shirt? 119 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,280 Oh, did it, eh? Had you there, eh, Papa? 120 00:07:29,980 --> 00:07:30,980 Happy anniversary! 121 00:07:31,260 --> 00:07:32,260 Oh, shut up! 122 00:07:38,420 --> 00:07:39,420 Hi, 123 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,560 Sam. You got those biscuits for Olive's dog? Yeah, I've got them here. I hope 124 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:44,560 they're the right type. 125 00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,960 They're called Frisky Bix. 126 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,300 Let's have a look. 127 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,540 Contains everything to keep an animal healthy, with Woofo, the special dog 128 00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:54,460 conditioner. Well, that sounds OK. Yeah. 129 00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:56,800 They look just like ordinary biscuits to me, look. 130 00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:58,500 Look at that. 131 00:07:58,740 --> 00:07:59,740 Come on, you two. 132 00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:00,960 Nearly half past. 133 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,780 What have you got there, then? 134 00:08:05,140 --> 00:08:07,860 It's just some biscuits I got for our lunch break. 135 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:10,700 Well, go on, Stan, do the decent thing. Offer the inspector one. 136 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,620 Go on, give him one. 137 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,300 Don't be so stingy. 138 00:08:17,780 --> 00:08:20,780 I'll blake you try one, then, mate. Thanks, I don't mind if I do. 139 00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:22,340 Go well with your cocoa. 140 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,440 Oh, I don't think I've ever had one like this before. 141 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,060 Tell you the truth, neither have I. 142 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,820 Bit hard, isn't it? 143 00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:40,820 Yeah, well, they're a new type, you know. They're hard to make now, you 144 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:41,840 but they're all the rage. 145 00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:45,960 What does savoury sort of taste like? 146 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,280 A bit unusual. 147 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:50,620 Well, they're new. 148 00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:55,040 Yeah, well, dip them in your cocoa to soften them up a bit. 149 00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:56,380 Oh, yeah. 150 00:08:56,640 --> 00:08:57,539 Dunk them. 151 00:08:57,540 --> 00:08:58,540 Yeah. 152 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:01,280 Very unusual, these. 153 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:04,520 Yeah. I think I'd like to get some of these for my old mum. 154 00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:07,860 She likes something a bit unusual. 155 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:08,819 Yeah, sure. 156 00:09:08,820 --> 00:09:11,660 Yeah, Jack, do you think these are all right? It won't hurt him, will it? Ah, 157 00:09:11,660 --> 00:09:14,100 no, no, they're full of vitamins, mate. Look, look what it says here. 158 00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:16,460 Guaranteed to make his coat shiny. 159 00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:21,840 Perhaps it'll make his moustache grow longer and silkier. 160 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:25,260 I tell you what, if it does, we'll enter in for crafts. 161 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,120 Butler. 162 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:30,680 Yeah? You're not buried in biscuits, you know. 163 00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:31,900 Oh. 164 00:09:32,460 --> 00:09:35,040 Another one in? Oh, thanks. 165 00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:38,060 It was a bit late for me breakfast, actually. 166 00:09:39,180 --> 00:09:41,660 Another couple of them and you'd be chasing the clippers up a tree. 167 00:09:43,220 --> 00:09:45,640 They are unusual, these biscuits, I must say. 168 00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:47,319 Here you go. 169 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,920 What's he got on the bag, then? Oh, nothing unusual. Oh, go on, show me. Oh, 170 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:52,060 no. Go on, have a look. 171 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:53,840 Oh. 172 00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:55,420 Frisky Bix. 173 00:10:00,460 --> 00:10:01,460 It's not frisky. 174 00:10:03,020 --> 00:10:05,760 You've made me a dogfisher, haven't you? I didn't make you. 175 00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:10,320 Listen, you took one. I didn't make you. I could kill you for this, father. God 176 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,420 knows what that would do to me. Ah, dummy, stupid. 177 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:15,540 Look, look. They can't do you nothing but good. Look what it says here. 178 00:10:16,010 --> 00:10:20,250 They contain a special powder to keep you in condition. In condition for what? 179 00:10:20,530 --> 00:10:23,010 Well, they're the dogs that I've been kept in condition for. 180 00:10:23,250 --> 00:10:24,250 Very funny. 181 00:10:24,310 --> 00:10:25,670 Go on, get in that bath out of it. 182 00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:28,530 If anything happens to me, I'll be straight round after you two. 183 00:10:28,770 --> 00:10:31,770 Yeah, you do that, and we'll take you straight round the vet. I'll sue you. 184 00:10:32,710 --> 00:10:36,790 I'll sue the pair of you. Oh, Blake, you calm off it, mate. I used to eat lots 185 00:10:36,790 --> 00:10:38,230 of dog biscuits when I was a kid. 186 00:10:38,470 --> 00:10:40,630 Yeah, you've got the teeth for it, ain't you? 187 00:10:44,550 --> 00:10:48,770 mate before he bites you I'll have you finished but don't you worry about it 188 00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:53,290 mate god blimey mate we didn't mean anything don't worry you won't get away 189 00:10:53,290 --> 00:10:57,510 it here I tell you what on your way home tonight avoid lampposts 190 00:11:11,310 --> 00:11:13,510 Oh, I'm glad you're home, love. We've been waiting for you. 191 00:11:13,810 --> 00:11:16,010 Olive's made a lovely anniversary dinner. 192 00:11:16,550 --> 00:11:17,550 Olive! 193 00:11:18,070 --> 00:11:19,070 Stan's home! 194 00:11:19,510 --> 00:11:22,110 Oh. Yeah, the table looks nice, doesn't it? 195 00:11:22,430 --> 00:11:24,450 Yeah, I must confess, she's done it very nicely. 196 00:11:24,670 --> 00:11:26,150 Yes, she laid it all herself. 197 00:11:27,110 --> 00:11:29,910 Then she went berserk and swept up the room. Yes. 198 00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:31,970 How do you know? 199 00:11:32,150 --> 00:11:33,590 The plates are covered in dust. 200 00:11:35,190 --> 00:11:38,370 Stan, she did her best. I think she's made the table look very pretty. 201 00:11:38,950 --> 00:11:41,860 Yeah. I grant you that. She's covered up all the holes in the tablecloth. 202 00:11:42,080 --> 00:11:47,620 Oh, well, love, it is a special occasion. After all, Olive and Arthur 203 00:11:47,620 --> 00:11:48,820 married for ten years. 204 00:11:49,380 --> 00:11:51,280 Oh, she's coming down now. 205 00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:53,360 Arthur? Hey. 206 00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:57,220 All right, I'll put me jacket on. Yes, you too. 207 00:11:57,480 --> 00:11:58,480 Well, 208 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:00,620 you want me to put me top hat and football boots on and all? 209 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:05,240 You don't need to be funny. There's no need to be funny. Now, listen, the pair 210 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:08,100 of you, make an effort. Be nice to her. 211 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,990 Shh. Here she comes. 212 00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:12,590 Hello, Arthur, love. 213 00:12:27,370 --> 00:12:28,370 Blimey, is that you? 214 00:12:29,650 --> 00:12:31,490 What's that you've got dangling there? 215 00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:34,990 Oh, you noticed. 216 00:12:35,430 --> 00:12:36,430 Well, what is it? 217 00:12:36,510 --> 00:12:38,030 It's a piece. Piece of what? 218 00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:42,240 I shall only use it for special occasions. 219 00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:45,120 Good. In the middle of the week, you can lend it to him. He needs it. 220 00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:48,300 Ah, very comical. 221 00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:49,940 Turn round. Show him. Look. 222 00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,660 Here. How do you like her midi skirt? 223 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:54,960 Very nice. 224 00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:57,080 I think you ought to sew that slit up. 225 00:12:59,140 --> 00:13:02,980 It's supposed to be like that. The woman in the shop said it was titillating. 226 00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:04,660 Titillating? 227 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,000 Shows you knickers. 228 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,920 It does not. It only comes up to my knee. 229 00:13:11,420 --> 00:13:13,020 Your knickers go down to your knee. 230 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:19,000 Here you are, love. Take the doggie. Now, she's made a lovely anniversary 231 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:23,880 for us. Now, come on, all sit down, because Arthur's brought us something to 232 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:24,880 drink. 233 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,860 God, blimey, I will have to sit down then. 234 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,160 You don't need to be facetious. 235 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:36,740 It just so happens that I've brought a rather good sherry here for Olive. 236 00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:40,180 Well, it's the only bottle of anything you've ever bought and it hasn't come 237 00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:41,180 from a national elf. 238 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:47,460 I've also purchased a rather expensive box of liqueur chocolates. 239 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,900 Have a taste. 240 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:57,580 Very nice. 241 00:14:00,460 --> 00:14:04,820 That's smashing, that is, Arthur. 242 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,320 Yes. 243 00:14:06,500 --> 00:14:07,500 Yes, I'll have some of that. 244 00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:14,480 We'll be done with the bottle. 245 00:14:15,180 --> 00:14:16,820 I thought we'd save some for later. 246 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,320 Oh, we're going to have it with dinner, are we? 247 00:14:18,700 --> 00:14:20,440 No, we're putting it away till next Christmas. 248 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:22,560 Oh, blimey. 249 00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:27,300 Oh, my little baby, would you like a little drinky? Here, do you mind? I was 250 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:28,300 drinking out of that. 251 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,580 Well, that's all right. The dog won't mind. 252 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:32,660 Well, that's it. I don't want any more out of there. 253 00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:35,540 Oh, Arthur, don't be cross. 254 00:14:36,810 --> 00:14:38,610 to dada for drinking. I don't... Ah! 255 00:14:39,750 --> 00:14:41,650 Oh, darling, you have got a cold. 256 00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:42,950 I have not got a cold. 257 00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:47,550 Now, now, Arthur, don't be rude. Tonight of all nights, here's your soup, love. 258 00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:48,810 Take it. Give him one. 259 00:14:49,130 --> 00:14:49,729 That's right. 260 00:14:49,730 --> 00:14:51,590 Lovely. Here you are, and here's yours. 261 00:14:51,910 --> 00:14:57,090 There, now, I'll take the little doggie and put him in his basket. 262 00:14:57,410 --> 00:14:58,410 Come on, 263 00:14:59,870 --> 00:15:04,090 Arthur. Kiss and make up. I don't wish to kiss you after you've been slobbering 264 00:15:04,090 --> 00:15:05,090 all over that animal. 265 00:15:05,310 --> 00:15:06,650 Oh, come on, love. 266 00:15:07,170 --> 00:15:11,150 It's a special occasion. I want you to remember this meal. All right, just one. 267 00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:14,770 God, blimey. He's hardly likely to forget it. 268 00:15:15,550 --> 00:15:17,530 Your hair's floating in his suit. 269 00:15:20,250 --> 00:15:22,150 You stupid great stuff. 270 00:15:22,370 --> 00:15:23,430 Get it out of here. 271 00:15:23,950 --> 00:15:27,390 Stop blimey skid -flipping all over the sherry. What's the matter with you? Come 272 00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:28,390 here, really. 273 00:15:29,890 --> 00:15:33,290 Do you have to be quite so revolting? You haven't missed much, have you? 274 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:36,860 You have my sweet touch, you have my sweet touch. No, thank you very much. I 275 00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:37,719 don't want any. 276 00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:38,740 All right, then? Yeah. 277 00:15:39,340 --> 00:15:42,500 Will you stop dangling that stuff in my food, sonny? 278 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,960 Oh, Mother, I'm all ticklish there. 279 00:15:48,340 --> 00:15:50,440 You've been married ten years, you just found out. 280 00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:52,160 You leave it. 281 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:54,900 No, there's all the soup trickling down me. 282 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,660 Love, I think your chicken's done. You'd better go and get it out of the oven. 283 00:15:58,780 --> 00:15:59,780 Oh, all right, Mum. 284 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,560 Now, then. That wasn't bad, that soup. Good. Now we'll toast. 285 00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:04,930 The happy couple. 286 00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:06,589 What with? 287 00:16:06,590 --> 00:16:07,590 Huh? 288 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:11,490 Harper, I tell you what, I'll go mad, I'll be a fool. 289 00:16:11,750 --> 00:16:13,230 There's a couple of Bob, give us another one. 290 00:16:14,450 --> 00:16:16,950 I don't think there's any need to be sarcastic. 291 00:16:17,230 --> 00:16:18,450 Oh, a one! 292 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:21,230 What? He's got trapped in there! He's got trapped in there! 293 00:16:21,770 --> 00:16:23,830 He's got trapped in there! He's got trapped in there! 294 00:16:24,510 --> 00:16:25,790 I thought it was the chicken. 295 00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:43,069 chicken. 296 00:16:43,730 --> 00:16:45,070 Here, where is it, love? 297 00:16:45,650 --> 00:16:47,750 Here, where do you put the chicken? 298 00:16:51,450 --> 00:16:52,970 It's on the mat with the dog. 299 00:16:56,270 --> 00:16:59,130 You stupid great love, what do you leave it out for? 300 00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:01,450 Because my hair caught fire. 301 00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:03,590 Well, that's it. That's the dinner corn, isn't it? 302 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,480 Oh, Scruffy, that dog ought to be punished. 303 00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:19,800 Eating her grub, he's already been punished. 304 00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:24,060 Oh, I didn't mean it, love. 305 00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:27,700 We can't eat it now if we're on the floor with a dog, are we? Look, look, 306 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,080 love, love, listen, listen. 307 00:17:29,580 --> 00:17:31,800 I'll open a nice tin of pilchards. 308 00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:34,660 Pilchards? 309 00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:37,200 Yes, they go very nice with a roast potato. 310 00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:42,760 My dear mother -in -law, you know I cannot digest pilchards. I shall be up 311 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:43,760 night. 312 00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:45,600 Lucky girl, the dog's done you a favour. 313 00:17:47,620 --> 00:17:49,940 Oh, well, I've got some eggs. I'll make you all an omelette. 314 00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:53,560 That dog ought to be tied up. He's a menace. 315 00:17:54,060 --> 00:17:57,700 Don't you speak to him like that. You'll upset him. Now go on, say you love him. 316 00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:01,720 Listen, 317 00:18:02,620 --> 00:18:06,680 mate. Do you know what I reckon? I've seen this every time that Olive puts 318 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:08,660 dog near you, you sneeze your head off. 319 00:18:08,980 --> 00:18:10,520 You're allergic to dogs. 320 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:11,960 You have an allergy. 321 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,200 I have... 322 00:18:14,420 --> 00:18:17,400 I have not got... Of course you have. Wait a minute. 323 00:18:18,100 --> 00:18:20,820 I remember a few years ago when I was in Diggs, I had a poodle. 324 00:18:21,220 --> 00:18:23,000 I sneezed non -stop for three hours. 325 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:24,780 That explains it! 326 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,600 What? How you blew all your hair out. 327 00:18:28,860 --> 00:18:31,180 I'm getting a little tired of your puerile jokes. 328 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,300 Oh, you see, what happens the rest of the evening, I've probably just got a 329 00:18:34,300 --> 00:18:37,720 cold. Well, now, love, while you're waiting, what about one of Arthur's nice 330 00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:39,420 drinks? We'll be lucky. 331 00:18:39,930 --> 00:18:41,770 They're free and easy with my drinks, aren't they? 332 00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:42,689 Oh, I know. 333 00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:44,370 What about one of his lovely chocolates? 334 00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:46,770 Here, Arthur, where are the chocolates? 335 00:18:47,090 --> 00:18:47,909 On the trolley. 336 00:18:47,910 --> 00:18:49,210 Oh, they're not. 337 00:18:49,530 --> 00:18:51,230 Eh? No, they're not. No. 338 00:18:51,890 --> 00:18:53,350 No, they're on the floor. 339 00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:54,610 Hey! 340 00:18:54,690 --> 00:18:58,210 If that dog's had them, I'll kill him. That cost me nearly two pounds. 341 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,530 Don't shout yet, mate. We don't... No, see? 342 00:19:00,730 --> 00:19:02,230 Big head, ain't you? Mouth almighty. 343 00:19:02,630 --> 00:19:04,790 They're all there, mate. Yeah, that's all right, then. 344 00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:08,390 Some of the liqueurs is leaked out of these chocolates. 345 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,620 No, it's not a liqueur. No. 346 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:17,940 What are you doing? 347 00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:20,940 I thought Aunt Maud said that dog was our strain. 348 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,380 Don't stand there. Make the omelette, Mum. 349 00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:33,760 Oh, right. Oh, I'll have a drop of... Happy wedding anniversary! 350 00:19:41,290 --> 00:19:42,330 Hey, we're due out in a minute, mate. 351 00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:45,270 Yeah, well, we've got a couple of minutes, haven't we? 352 00:19:45,950 --> 00:19:48,030 No, I'm just going to catch this bass. Yeah? 353 00:19:50,510 --> 00:19:51,710 Taking the dog back to Wampumwood. 354 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,580 Yeah, Arthur's allergic to the dog. Soon as he put him there, he started 355 00:19:55,580 --> 00:19:57,140 sneezing all over the place. Hello, sir. 356 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,280 Oh, hello, Ollie. Sorry to hear about the dog. 357 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,840 Yeah, he's so lovely. I shall hate having to see him go. 358 00:20:04,180 --> 00:20:06,280 Yeah, well, I tell you what, keep the dog and get rid of Arthur. 359 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:11,240 You don't know the exchange rate, mate. Yeah, ten authors for him. 360 00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:14,180 Here. 361 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,940 There's a passenger just got on our bus. We'd better hurry, mate. 362 00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:24,540 Why? Well, if we hang about here, we might get another one. 363 00:20:24,740 --> 00:20:25,740 Come on, Ollie. 364 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:27,840 Come on. 365 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,580 Why this bus out yet? Come on, move yourself. Hurry along, yeah? 366 00:20:32,220 --> 00:20:33,560 Is that you? 367 00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:37,340 That is a dog. 368 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:39,320 Oh. The passenger took a dog on there. 369 00:20:39,660 --> 00:20:41,520 Only I thought all those biscuits you ate, you know. 370 00:20:48,050 --> 00:20:51,210 There's a couple of dogs on here having a barney. Well, get them off, then. Come 371 00:20:51,210 --> 00:20:52,530 on. Oh, no, no, no. 372 00:20:52,870 --> 00:20:54,850 It's an inspector's job to settle disputes. 373 00:20:55,170 --> 00:20:56,670 Rule 24, paragraph 2b. 374 00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:59,350 Oh, please, you'll kill my little baby. 375 00:20:59,670 --> 00:21:02,110 All right, calm yourself, madam. Step her all back. I'll see to this. 376 00:21:03,030 --> 00:21:09,910 Any minute now, we'll need a new 377 00:21:09,910 --> 00:21:10,910 inspector. 378 00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:20,470 There he comes. 379 00:21:22,850 --> 00:21:25,790 He bit me. 380 00:21:26,110 --> 00:21:27,230 He's a wild beast. 381 00:21:27,530 --> 00:21:29,130 He came at me like a wild beast in there. 382 00:21:31,470 --> 00:21:34,970 Come on, my boy. Let's get off of this bastard. 383 00:21:35,390 --> 00:21:36,490 He bit me, all right. 384 00:21:37,150 --> 00:21:40,630 Well, I should think so. Blimey, look at the size of him. Not that one. That one 385 00:21:40,630 --> 00:21:41,630 there, look. 386 00:21:44,110 --> 00:21:45,110 Anyway. 387 00:21:50,820 --> 00:21:51,820 It's all right now, yeah. 388 00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:53,580 There's no blood, mate. There's no blood. 389 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:57,760 Tell me, tell me. Look, you tell me when it hurts, right? 390 00:21:58,340 --> 00:21:59,340 Ow, ow! 391 00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:01,999 Does that hurt? 392 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,000 Ow, ow! 393 00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,060 I thought it hurt. That's where you got the teeth marks, you see. 394 00:22:06,700 --> 00:22:08,940 I wouldn't mind, but he came straight at me. 395 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:10,940 Well, he fancied you, didn't he? 396 00:22:11,780 --> 00:22:14,840 I mean, it's all those biscuits you've had, see? He's put you in fine 397 00:22:15,520 --> 00:22:19,040 You sure this skin's not broken down here? No, no, you're all right, Nick. 398 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,080 thank God for that. 399 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:23,520 Otherwise some terrible germs might have got through. Yeah, you could have given 400 00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:24,640 that dog the snapper, you know. 401 00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:27,260 Oh, well, you're all right anyway. Oh! 402 00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:29,140 Oh, 403 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:30,639 sorry, Blake. 404 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,040 Oh, Stan, poor little scruffy. He's all a -tremble. 405 00:22:34,260 --> 00:22:36,280 Don't worry about him. What about me? 406 00:22:36,540 --> 00:22:39,220 That dog deliberately came at me and savaged my leg. 407 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:41,800 Yeah, and done his teeth much good either. 408 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:45,320 I might have known that dog was a member of your family. 409 00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:48,920 The company will make your sister pay for another pair of trousers. Do you 410 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:49,859 realise that? 411 00:22:49,860 --> 00:22:52,260 You better accompany me to the manager's office, madam. 412 00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,500 You'll have to pay five pounds at least for this. 413 00:22:55,020 --> 00:22:56,020 Oh, Stan, 414 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,080 I haven't got five pounds. 415 00:22:59,340 --> 00:23:02,600 Oh, they'll kill me when he finds out. Oh, don't worry, love. We'll have a whip 416 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,800 round the ledge. I'll tell him it's for the dog that bit the inspector. We'll 417 00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:06,800 make a fortune. 418 00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:08,920 Come on, I'll put five on me for the start. 419 00:23:09,370 --> 00:23:10,370 A dollar? 420 00:23:10,390 --> 00:23:15,210 Blimey, mate. I'm not joking, mate. That's worth a quid. We might make more 421 00:23:15,210 --> 00:23:16,210 five quid. 422 00:23:16,810 --> 00:23:17,810 More? Yeah. 423 00:23:17,950 --> 00:23:20,550 Here. How do you feel about going for his other leg, darling? 424 00:23:21,790 --> 00:23:24,510 You've only been with us half a day. You're waiting gold, sweetheart. 425 00:23:25,710 --> 00:23:28,330 Don't stand about, Chalky. Come and put the dollar in there, mate.